The millennial struggle is real and not for anything big or scary. Oh no it’s completely mundane. My problem, you see, is that anytime the word “eggs” is uttered, I have on of two immediate, chaotic, word vomit reactions.

A)

B)

There is no middle ground. There is only pain.

I get a lot of entertainment thinking about how containers are used in video games sometimes.

The thing they don't tell you about fried egg runny yolk is that if you put it in a sandwich it will be the best most delicious thing and you can mop up the egg with the bread, but in exchange you Will get so so messy and covered in egg yolk

Jake is so real because if I had stretchy powers I'd be 100% doing stupid shit like this

I love that they added these new bits of dialog about how much he likes eggs—

I'M SORRY????

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sometimes I feel like discord is lacking emojis and so I make them myself. these ones in particular are my favorites

frog, toad, and soup!

Feel free to use them if you'd like!

The most important NPC in Baldur’s Gate btw

welcome reddit refugees

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

please rb for sample size also this is about ONLY eggs. no toast or breakfast included. if it makes a difference that is

I mix my warm scrambled egg for breakfast and sit down on my dark bench

Me, murmuring: you used to call me on my cellphone

My eggs, still warm: *begin to wiggle and steam”

Gordon Ramsay, who I have mistakenly caught in my various traps and guises: That’s not good, they’re not supposed to do that

Oh my god

HAPPY EAS-

i mean APRIL FOOLS!

MY EGG ???????????????????????????

clearly my idea of these two just revolves around longing and diplomacy