#DO YOU SEE MING'S ATTITUDE?
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TGCF, Suffering, and the Pursuit of Dreams
life is inherently suffering*; true purpose is what you’re willing to suffer for.
^this isn’t anything new as philosophers have made the same argument with different words over and over again throughout history**. the basic idea is that there is no way around the pain that comes with living except through, that no matter what you choose to do you will inevitably face difficulty because nothing comes easily, and so with that in mind you might as well take the responsibility of your freedom to pick your suffering, to decide what it is that matters to you enough that you are willing to endure the pain to see it through. another way to look at it is knowing that we will all die anyway, choose what you want to die for. and make that your reason for living.
for hua cheng, he chooses to suffer for xie lian, because xie lian is his dream. he would go into battle for him, die in battle for him, cry out and empathetically bear his pain for him during the hundred swords scene, go through a decade of hell in mt tonglu for him, dig out his eye for him because he doesn’t want to hurt the common people as saving them is xie lian’s dream,
and xie lian chooses to suffer for his dream, too.
when we are young, we often make grand claims about our future such as “I want to be an author!” without really knowing what that means. then our parents tell us that hey, maybe that’s not a viable way to make a living, maybe you should study something like economics instead, and we retort, why can’t we get the best of both worlds, why can’t we make money as an author or write while studying economics, why can’t we hold an inkwell in one hand and copper coins in the other, why can’t we choose the third path***? and even if we hit rock bottom / the south wall**** we will persist in our dream and not turn back?
and so xie lian says “my dream is to save the common people!”, he says “body in abyss, heart in paradise,” he wants to pursue the third path without knowing what it means. it’s easy to claim you want to do something when you have yet to face any difficulty that that something brings.
so bai wuxiang shows him.
【Speaking, he twisted Xie Lian's face even harder with his other hand, saying, "What? Aren't you the one who claims to want to save the common people?"
Xie Lian said, "But!!! But I, I..."
But he had never thought about saving the common people in this situation, with this method?!】
he understands for the first time the suffering that serves the other face of his dream’s coin. he understands for the first time that having exhausted the two options in front of him, the third path requires personal sacrifice.
(many mxtx antis in China use this scene to justify their hatred toward xie lian, arguing that indeed, “it was xie lian himself who claimed to want to save the common people yet when the time comes he is reluctant? sheesh.” but i think that that’s the whole point of xie lian’s character growth arc, in which he starts off as a naive crown prince who doesn’t know what his dream entails.)
but now he does, and he still chooses to persist. he picks his suffering. he decides that his dream is worth suffering for.
(much of this is to say that i am often genuinely confused by TGCF fans' attitude toward Hua Cheng's suffering vs. Xie Lian's suffering. most readers do not bat an eye at the sacrifices Hua Cheng made for his dream, or maybe "bat an eye" is the wrong use of phrase here, but at least it's painted as something romantic. when it comes to Xie Lian sacrificing himself to save the common people, though, we react differently, even when both of them are choosing what they're willing to suffer for, which is empowering. i am thinking of potential counterarguments, one of which could be that "objectively" Xie Lian is a dream worth suffering for while the dream of "saving the common people" is not, but i would argue that when Wu Ming stood by Calamity!Lian, it is not objectively guaranteed (subjectively, Hua Cheng has faith) that Xie Lian will not turn out to be the next Jun Wu and hurt Hua Cheng. in effect Xie Lian's calamity era was to Hua Cheng what the hundred swords scene was to Xie Lian -- trials to test the strength of your faith you have toward your dream. Additionally, the common people are not all bad just as the state of Xie Lian (to fall from grace is also you; what matters is you -- the dream) changes as well.)
in a way, the suffering we’re willing to endure for our dream is a metric that measures how much it is worth to us. before i mentioned that words are empty and that a dream doesn’t mean anything until you have experienced the suffering attached to it, but the reverse is also true: chasing a dream is what gives meaning to our suffering.*****
Appendix
*I would like to substantiate the premise “life is inherently suffering” from two angles since it’s a little wobbly.
The first is from an economics perspective, the notion of opportunity cost, which is defined by the next best thing, or the option that gives you the second-highest utility that you are willing to forgo to choose something else. There is always a cost to every choice you make simply because our time and attention are scarce resources. The greatest opportunity cost is arguably one’s life.
The second is from a cognitive-neuroscience perspective. The predictive processing framework of human cognition asserts that we are predictive machines in that we constantly process information around us to generate a model or mental schema of the world, a map of the territory to make sense of it. and we are constant comparing our schema to the actuality of the world which results in a discrepancy (because due to our cognitive limitations we can never perceive reality in its entirety). This discrepancy is called “error” and our affective system signals the magnitude of the error. for example, fulfilment is when your schema aligns with reality; anger is when your schema clashes with reality or the schema of another person; fear is when your schema is too porous such that your ignorance of reality makes you afraid. to put it simply error is painful.
there are three ways to reduce error, 1. recalibrate your schema to fit reality 2. change the world to fit your schema and 3. tune the precision (confidence) of your schema so that it is no longer relevant i.e. you realize you don’t care anymore.
in the context of tgcf you can think of xie lian’s idealism as his mental schema which reality inevitably falls short from. whenever we wish to act on the world we are in effect altering reality in a way to fit our mental schema, the process of which entails an engagement with the error and hence pain.
** Nietzsche, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Viktor Frankl, and most recently Mark Manson in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
*** the reason why I’m using such an odd example is because MXTX’s name 墨香铜臭 mo xiang tong xiu means the fragrance of ink and the smell of money. The reason she chose this name is because, when she first went to college, she wanted to major in literature. However, her mother disagreed. Her mother suggested she study economics instead, and because their opinions differed, she wasn't very happy.
**** The south wall, also known as a shadow wall, is a type of wall in traditional Chinese architecture used to block the line of sight. The main entrances of Chinese buildings generally face south, and in the old days, households of status and power would have a shadow wall outside their main gate. Upon exiting, one had to turn either left or right, as walking straight ahead would lead to a collision with the southern wall. "Banging one's head against the south wall" 头撞南墙 is an idiomatic expression that refers to being stubbornly fixated on an idea, using this phenomenon to metaphorically describe someone's behavior as obstinate and unwilling to listen to differing opinions. obviously this point is illustrated with a positive connotation in TGCF.
***** i am not claiming that suffering is good. choice is good. there is nothing empowering about the hundred swords scene.
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Some of Producer Yuan's commentary on Ming and his family scene in Episode 2
(translation courtesy of my dear friend @saltymarbles on twitter)
As for the mom, I believe that many people in their teenage years like to think that their parents are like dictators, unwilling to listen. But parents are also thinking of what to they should do that is the best frequently. For instance, choosing a lady is really out of well wishes. But often, we prefer to communicate with those who are close with us. With a bad attitude, we might feel guilty afterwards but it’s still hard to apologise.
I believe that Ming loves his family otherwise he wouldn’t be considerate towards his older sister, keeping to himself and fleeing abroad. But probably because of several reasons, he becomes a person who is unable to communicate his feelings with people he loves — with Joe, his mom. You can see it from the way he talks with his older sister in EP 2 that Ming really isn’t just a selfish person.
Before starting the chapter, we consulted about our own psychiatrist. There is a behavioural description of a possible personality disorder. Sometimes small things in our childhood, things that happen in our development can cause the way we express ourselves. As such, it is a common disease that we encounter often, causing neglect communicating our feelings. Going to seek out a psychiatrist should be a normal thing. (t/n: P'Yuan might be referring to Ming to having personality disorder which makes it hard for him to communicate his feelings with his family)
A few people mentioned about the line about family. Actually, it was intentional that the female character is a positive character, changed to be more modern. Letting us feel that Ming doesn’t have such a mysterious life. To explain why Ming didn’t dare to tell anyone about liking Tong, it's because of his love towards his family. Later on, the familial relationship will have an impact on everything.
Having Shu play May, I like it a lot. She has an expensive kind of beauty which is a match for the older sister of Ming. If you observe carefully, you can see that the appearance of the three siblings are very similar. This was something highly intentional during the casting — they needed to be similar.
#my stand in#my stand in the series#my stand-in#my stand-in the series#professional body double#my stand in novel spoilers#i like reading producers insights and thoughts abt their series#esp when its of a producer who sought the right for the novel herself and chose the cast herself#i appreciated that scene with may/ming a lot
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It had been one year since Gramma had abandoned the Shang family. It was an incident that changed Yao and Bai forever. Their lives were so different now that Ming left.
Bai tried to keep her optimistic attitude for her Papa's sake. Yao started to act differently when Ming left. He didn't smile anymore, and he didn't talk unless it was absolutely necessary. He would never tell it, but Yao was hurting deeply. He understood why Ming wanted to leave, but he couldn't help but feel betrayed. He risked everything for her just to have her leave him. But, deep down, he knew what she needed. It just hurt him knowing he wasn't enough for his wife.
During this hard time, Bai began working at the palace full time. As Firelord Ozai said, he believed there was nothing holding Bai back from working. It was true, but it hurt Bai knowing he didn't even considered how she was feeling. But, he's the firelord; what is she to do?
Bai began taking on more tasks at the palace. She was still Zuko's and Azula's personal servant, but she also began to take on more duties. It felt a little overwhelming at times, but there was one person that kept her sane through it all.
Zuko
Zuko had been Bai's rock during her time of hardship. No matter how many times she told him to leaver her alone or that she was fine, Zuko was always there for Bai. Even though she's never told him, Bai is grateful for Zuko's encouragement and support. He helped find the light during such a dark place in life.
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"Hey, are you crying?"
Bai lifted her head from her lap to see Zuko was standing over her.
"I-I um.... yeah. But don't worry about it." Bai mumbled. The last thing she wants right mow is Zuko to see her like this- a crying, blotchy mess.
Zuko felt a piece of his heart break seeing Bai like this. He's always seen her happy and radiate. So, it's so hard seeing her so broken. Especially, when he knows the same kind of brokenness she's feeling.
When his father told him what happened, Zuko felt sick to his stomach. Memories of his own mother disappearing flooded his mind again. The pain of loosing a family member is unbearable and is so hard to heal from. You may never heal from it. Zuko knew exactly what Bai was feeling. He wanted to see her immediately. He bolted to the garden because he knew how much Bai loved it there. If she was anywhere, she'd be there.
And Zuko was right. He wanted nothing more in that moment to take away the pain he knew she was feeling.
Zuko didn't say anything. He figured that Bai didn't want to talk about what happened. Instead, he sat down beside her- not leaving until she does.
The two sat in peaceful silence until Bai broke it.
"Thank you."
She leaned towards Zuko, resting her head on his shoulder. Zuko felt his heart racing. Bai started smiling because she could feel it too. She's learned Zuko has a hard time receiving affection. But, he's learning that he doesn't mind it- as long as it's from Bai.
The two sat there like that for hours. The world didn't exist in that moment. It was only Zuko and Bai.
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"Hello, Bai!"
Bai snapped out of her thoughts and smiled. She knew that kind voice anywhere. It was General Iroh! Although, he tells her just to call him Iroh.
"Iroh!" Bai bowed. "I'm so happy to see you!"
"As well as I!" He said, pulling her into a hug. Bai was grateful for Iroh. He helped her papa out so much during the past year, which she was grateful for. She wanted to feel like she could help out her papa more, but it's hard to help someone out when you feel just as broken as they do. But, Iroh stepped in and made everything better. He understood what Yao was feeling since he lost someone as well- his son, Lu Ten. Plus, Yao and Iroh got along very well, considering they have the same taste of terrible jokes.
"Now, what is it that you wanted to talk about?" Iroh asked, although he has a feeling he knows what it's about. His nephew's birthday is coming up. It's no surprise that the young teens has feelings for each other and he's sure Bai is going to ask for the "perfect gift."
"Well, you know that Prince Zuko's birthday is coming up." She started.
Called it, Iroh thought to himself.
"And you and Zuko are very close. So, I was wondering, what do you think I should get him for his birthday?"
"Bai, why would you feel the need to get Prince Zuko a gift? He has everything he could ever dream of! Unless, you're hoping this gift could win over his affection?" Iroh teased.
Bai felt her cheeks turn blood red and could feel them getting hotter as every second passed by. She wanted to deny Iroh's assumptions but she couldn't find the words.
He let out a loud laugh seeing how Bai reacted. He didn't mean to make her feel so embarrassed!
"Don't worry, I'm only teasing, Bai."
"Of course." Bai said, hesitantly.
"But in all honesty, Bai, I don't think it'll matter what you get Prince Zuko for his birthday. I'm sure he'll like whatever you get him."
"But Iroh," Bai started. "He's a prince. He's probably use to getting these swords and armor for his birthday! And I just want to be able to get him something that he'll love, but I'll never be able to get him something like that."
Iroh smiled at the young girl. If only she could see that his nephew loves her, even if he won't admit it. He would be ecstatic that she would even consider to get him a gift.
"Bai, it doesn't matter if you get him an iron sword or a handwritten note. I have complete faith knowing that Prince Zuko will be happy with whatever you get him. Just look inside your heart. There, you will find the perfect gift for Zuko."
Bai felt a small relief wash over her, and she felt a little hopeful. Maybe she is worrying for nothing.
"You really think so, Iroh?" Bai asked.
"I know so, Bai. Now, I'm heading to the kitchen to get some tea. Would you like to join me?"
Bai laughed at Iroh's response. Of course he's getting tea. She never knew anyone to drink so much tea.
"I think I'm good, Iroh. I have my own duties to attend to, but thank you so much."
"Well, okay! But I hope you don't change your mind; there may not be any left." Iroh chuckled.
Bai shook her head in amusement. Iroh never failed to keep an upbeat attitude. She walked in the opposite direction, heading to tidy up the Firelord's wing.
Bai was so caught up in her thoughts that she wasn't even paying attention where she was walking.
"Woah! Better be careful, Bai."
Bai lifted her head and gazed upon the young prince. No matter how much Bai saw Zuko, he never failed to make her heart skip a beat. During the past year, Zuko gotten taller and his voice grew raspier. He'd also been training abundantly so his body became more fit. Bai's cheeks heated up after remembering catching Zuko without a shirt on. He didn't notice her, and Bai was thankful for that; she would've died on the spot.
He's so handsome, Bai thought to herself.
"S-Sorry, Prince Zuko." Bai stuttered.
Zuko couldn't help but smile at Bai's nervousness. She was so sweet and adorable, although he wouldn't tell her that; she'd get mad at him. Bai had turned very beautiful over the past year she'd stayed at the palace. Of course, Zuko thought she was beautiful when they first met. But somehow she turned even prettier as her face matured. Of course, she still seemed to get nervous around him whenever he came around.
"Bai, I've told you a thousand times, call me Zuko, please. There's no reason to be proper when it's just us two."
"I-I know, but it's just a habit. And I don't want to get in trouble." Bai said, mumbling the last part. Once, she thought her and Zuko was alone until she was called into the Firelord's throne room. He screamed at Bai for treating Zuko with such disrespect. Bai couldn't understand what he meant, considering she always tried treating the royal family with respect. But, somehow, Firelord Ozai heard Bai call Zuko by just his regular name and the consequences were dire for Bai. Ever since then, Bai had made a very conscious effort to address Zuko only as Prince Zuko.
Zuko nodded his head in agreement. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He felt like it was his fault Bai got in trouble that day. He wanted to tell his father it wasn't Bai's fault and that he had no business to yell at her, but he knew it would end terribly.
"Well, anyways, what were you and Uncle talking about?" Zuko asked, changing the subject.
Bai felt her heartbeat quicken upon hearing his question. She doesn't let him know that she was talking about him! It'd ruin everything.
"Oh, um... you know, tea." Bai said, unsure of herself.
Zuko felt like Bai was lying but of course, he wouldn't push it. He wouldn't want to make Bai feel more nervous that what she already does.
"Oh, okay. Well, I had a question I wanted to ask you."
What, Bai thought to herself. Why would Zuko want to ask me anything?
"Sure... what is it Prin- I mean, Zuko."
"Well, I was wondering-"
"Bai! You are needed in the Firelord's wing! It's best that you not keep him waiting!" Leang shouted.
Bai felt panic settling in her heart. Her palms grew sweaty and her heart was beating out of her chest.
"I-I've got to go Prince Zuko." Bai said, running away.
Zuko felt defeated as he watched Bai run to his father's room. He knew it was more important that she was at his father's hand instead- considering her father is not a man of mercy- but he hated how they were so brutally interrupted.
I guess I'll have to ask later.
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"What a day!" Bai thought aloud.
After tidying up the Firelord's room, she was all over the palace. She had to help Azula find an outfit for the party, serve the admirals and members of the counsel during the war meeting, and had to clean the entire ballroom by herself. Bai felt exhausted and wanted nothing more to fall into her bed. Luckily, she didn't have to walk far anymore since she sleeps at the palace now. Of course, it isn't a luxurious room. It was a lot smaller than the other room in the palace. It used to be an old storage room but the Firelord turned it into a bedroom for Bai. She'll admit, it felt a little nice feeling independent. But more than anything, Bai wanted to stay with her papa like old times. However, she understands why he won't let her.
After Ming left Bai and Yao, Yao became so frightened that everyone would leave him. He even stopped sleeping in his room and slept in the kitchen. So that way, he could see if Ming would come back and make sure Bai wouldn't leave. Eventually, Yao realized it was unhealthy to do so. So, he talked to his friend, Ozai, and he welcomed Bai in with open arms. Yao was grateful but shocked at the Firelord's choice. He never knew Ozai to be a compassionate man, but whenever he mentioned Bai, he was very merciful. It was weird to Yao, but nevertheless, he was grateful. Bai and him both knew he needed to start sleeping peacefully Shein. So now, Yao could see Bai everyday while feeling well rested.
Bai was ready to crash, but she knew she needed to do something more important first. She grabbed the empty bowl that sat beside her bed and ran to the bathroom to fill it up with water. After it was full, she sat it down on the table and began to do the same routine she always does before bed.
Bai kept her promise to Ming by practicing waterbending. Bai didn't want to at first. She didn't want to be reminded about her gramma who left her and Yao. But, once Bai started bending like Ming taught her, she felt at ease and at home, surprisingly. Waterbending was now how Bai felt connected with Ming. So, every night she practiced before bed. It was very risky, but it was one Bai was willing to take.
As Bai bended the water above her head, she heard a loud knock on the door. The knock scared her, causing Bai to drop the water all over her head.
Great! How am I going to explain this?
Bai tried finding a spare cloth quickly so she could dry her hair before she answered but the knocks wouldn't stop. They only became louder.
Who on Earth would want to see me? No one ever comes to see me.
Bai ran to the door, curious to know who was at her door. She figured it would be Zuko, since they've talked late many nights. Bai smiled softly at all those nights they spent talking. One night, Bai even confused her deepest secret to Zuko- that she was a waterbender. She thought he would hate her when she told him, but he didn't, actually. Bai never could've imagined Zuko to react the way he did that night.
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"Wait, you can what!" Zuko screamed.
"Shh! Be careful! Someone might hear you!" Bai whispered.
Zuko couldn't believe what Bai had told him. She could waterbend. He knew he should've guessed, considering when you looked into her eyes you could tell she was from Water Tribe decent. But to hear her say it was shocking.
"Bai... that's.... I just can't believe it!" Zuko said, excitedly.
"You're not mad?" Bai asked.
"What! No! I could never be mad at you. I think it's amazing you can bend. Of course, it'd be cooler if you could bend fire, but water is okay too."
"Hey! Don't hate on my waterbending!" She giggled.
Zuko smiled at the giggly girl beside him. It was moments like this he loved. The times where neither one of them are busy with duties. Where they're able to be free and true.
Although Zuko's smile faded when he realized the seriousness of Bai's confession. If Firelord Ozai found out the truth, he would banish Bai, or worse, kill her. He would think she's leading an invasion. Of course, Zuko knows Bai would never plan that, and she doesn't have the resources. But his father wouldn't.
"What's wrong, Zuko?" Bai asked, snapping Zuko from his terrible thoughts.
"Oh... um.... you haven't told anyone else about this, have you?"
"No." Bai started. "You're the only person I've ever told. You're the only one I've felt like I could trust."
Zuko couldn't help the smile growing on his face. Bai's words kept ringing in his ears over and over again.
"Really? I'm the only one that you could trust?" Zuko asked.
"Yes. I knew I could tell you because you wouldn't tell anyone."
Zuko grabbed Bai's smaller, smoother hand and looked her in the eyes. Bai worried Zuko would feel sweat growing on her hand due to how nervous she was now, but that wasn't important at the moment.
"Bai, I promise I will never ever share this secret."
"I know Zuko."
"No I mean it, Bai. I promise that I will never give you a reason why you can't trust me. I will always be the person you can come to about anything. No matter how big or small." Zuko affirmed.
Bai felt her heart pounding and ears ringing. She has never seen Zuko so affirming. It made the butterflies dance in her stomach. Whether Zuko felt the same way or not, Bai knew from that moment that she wanted to spend forever with him.
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The increasingly loud knocks snapped Bai from her memory. She ran to the door, figuring it would be best not to keep the other person waiting.
But to Bai's surprise, no one was at the door. She looked left and right to see if anyone was there, but no one was. She was about to close the door when something at her doorstep caught her eye.
It was a scroll wrapped up by a red and black ribbon. Bai picked it up quickly and shut her door.
Who would want to send me a note? Especially at this hour?
Bai thought maybe it was gramma, but she knew better than to think that. She knew that gramma was very happy back at home and wasn't worried about her or papa.
It's probably just some warning from Azula, she thought to herself. Azula had sent her notes like this before when she thought Bai did a poor job. But it wasn't from Azula either.
Dear Bai,
It is no surprise that you've made quite an impression on everyone at the palace. You fit right in and are adored by everyone. To be honest, you caught my attention the night of Princess Azula's party. You're a very sticking woman. But I feel as if you have more potential than to be a servant girl. You are able to do so much more than what you're doing now. Which is why I want to help you reach higher places. If you want to know more of what you can do, then please see me during Zuko's party. I hope to see you there.
Firelord Ozai
Bai gasped loudly and dropped the paper. The Firelord was the last person she would've ever thought would write to her.
Does Firelord Ozai really think I'm cable of doing more, Bai thought to herself. She remembered how he spoke lowly of her when she first started working. But now, he thinks she's capable of doing more. And he even thinks she should be doing more!
But things aren't usually so simple with it comes to Firelord Ozai. He's a complicated man; it's hard to tell his motives.
But what if he's being serious?
Bai decided she wouldn't worry about it anymore. It was late after all. A good nights rest would help ease her mind.
Bai slipped out of her work clothes and into her night gown before jumping in the bed. She tried to calm her overactive mind, but she couldn't. Thoughts of new possibilities flooded her mind. There was so much she could do and she could make a difference here. And who would've thought the Firelord is giving her this chance!
But what if there's more to it, Bai questioned again. Bai sighed in annoyance at her indecisiveness. This is going to be a long night.
Bai decided she'd talk to Zuko about it first thing tomorrow morning. If there was anyone that could help her out, it was Zuko. Besides, she trusts him with all of her heart. She knows he'll point her in the right path.
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"Absolutely not!" Zuko yelled.
"Prince Zuko, let’s be reasonable about this." Iroh calmly stated- quite the opposite tone from his hotheaded nephew. "We've sat here and thought of all the different choices; this is the only possible way."
"Uncle, I'm not sure I can do it!" Zuko screamed.
"Prince Zuko, you must! It's what is right! Deep down you know it's the truth."
"No! I won't do it! I asked for your help so-"
"And I am helping you!" Iroh interrupted. "There is no other possible way!"
Zuko let out a scream of frustration, hot flames leaving his mouth. He knows his Uncle Iroh is right. There is no other way, which is why it makes Zuko so angry. He has to do this. It's the right move to make.
But why does it feel so wrong?
"Prince Zuko, I know this feels wrong to you." Iroh started, answering Zuko's thoughts. "But it's the only way. You and I both know this."
"But what if something happens to-"
"Prince Zuko." Iroh interrupted. "You know that this is your only choice."
Zuko let out a sigh of disappointment. He know Iroh means well. His uncle has never steered anyone in the wrong direction so he knows he's probably right.
He just wishes he wasn't.
"I know it is, Uncle."
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#atla#atla zuko#atla sokka#avatar aang#avatar the last airbender#prince zuko#zuko x oc#fanfic#katara#sokka
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Thank you so much for the request, I love it when they are very detailed! I hope it is like how you imagined and lives up to your expectations! I appreciate your kind words and support <3 requests are always welcome! Normally, it would have been uploaded sooner, but I had to make changes to the original post and tumblr wouldn't me save it, so I had to make an entire new post. I hope you enjoy it!
I'll Always Look Out For You | Ming Chapter
April, 2021
''Hey guys, have you seen this?'' Seungkwan asked the other members of the vocal team. He motioned for them to gather around his phone.
The five of them looked at his screen. ''What the hell..'' Woozi mumbled.
Seungkwan had shown them a post someone had made leaking Ming's phone number and also the ones of other members. The person's reason for this is that Ming had allegedly been ignoring their advances and rejecting their love.
''Why would someone do this?'' Dokyeom didn't understand why people were like that, leaking the personal information of someone. Jeonghan rolled his eyes. ''Another person who sees our Yerim as their personal property and thinks by doing this it will grab her attention.''
''The post says that she has been ignoring his advances, but she has never mentioned anything about someone bothering her, at least not to me.'' Joshua commented, reading the post again.
Woozi shrugged his shoulders. ''Maybe he hasn't been bothering her and he just wanted to leak the phone numbers.''
''Yeah, or she accidentally picked up when they called. Yerim would have said something to one of us if this person had been actually making advances towards her.'' Dokyeom suggested, not believing Ming would keep something like that from them.
Jeonghan walked back to his seat. ''Let's just hope the company handles this well.''
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''Yerim-ah!'' Coups called for her.
Ming was laying on the couch watching a movie on her own. ''Yes?''
Coups took the space next to her. ''The post is taken down and the company is arranging new numbers for us.'' He said to her, rubbing the back of her head. ''That's great.'' She smiled at him and brought her attention back to the movie.
''They didn't bother you, right? In the post they said something about you ignoring their advances.'' He asked her, still confused as to what the person meant by that.
She didn't turn her head, her eyes glued to the screen. ''No, I got nothing.'' She answered him.
''Alright, good.'' Her nonchalant attitude made him less worried. She didn't seem to be worked up about it, so why should he?
''I'm gonna have dinner with Jeonghan and Shua later, you can join us, if you want?'' He invited her.
She shook her head. ''No, that's okay, I don't really feel like going out.'' She declined his offer, smiling at the leader.
''Okay, but we're probably gonna be back late, so just wanted you to know that.'' He said to her, getting up from the couch.
As she watched him leave, she felt the guilt creeping up on her. The truth was that the person had in fact been bothering her. She didn't like lying to her members, but everyone has so much going on at the moment, she didn't want to add anything more to the chaos.
At first, it was just phone calls. Throughout the day and for weeks on end, this person would call her. For a while they actually stopped, she felt relieved and concluded that the person must have given up. However, that was short-lived.
Calls turned into texts, consisting of love confessions. The individual, who she assumed was a man, wanted to be with her, get married, have kids and move to a foreign country. Obviously she was weirded out by it, but the texts were harmless, so she didn't mention them to anyone.
She tried blocking his number, but the texts kept coming back. Her lack of response must have also pissed him off, cause the love confessions gradually changed into full on threats. He told her that if she had a significant other, he would kill her and her partner.
The threats didn't really scare her, because they didn't contain any truth. She wasn't in a relationship with anyone nor was she going on dates.
Eventually, it started getting worse. Before a schedule with the other members, Ming had to be at the hair salon. While her stylist sat her down in the chair, a staff member of the salon approached her. ''Excuse me, Ms.Kim, someone left their contact information for you.'' They handed her a paper with an email address, a phone number and even the number of the person's work phone. Ming thanked the person and put the paper in her bag, not planning on doing anything with it.
This started happening more, at the nail salon she went to monthly, the house of her vocal coach and even at the place where she did her pilates classes.
Ming knew that she had to mention it to one of her members or at least someone of the company, but she didn't. She wasn't the only member that had these privacy issues due to fans who cross the line and she didn't want to be a burden by adding even more problems.
She had the dorm to herself that night, as Joshua and Coups were out with Jeonghan and Minghao was having a movie night with Vernon in his dorm.
She was scrolling through social media on her computer in her room, she loved seeing what the fans were up to and how everyone was doing. She wasn't able to access her phone anymore, since it got overwhelmed by all the phone calls and text messages.
She was enjoying everything, until a certain long post caught her eye. The post was from the same account that leaked their phone numbers. It started with the person saying that they had been trying to pursue a relationship with Ming for several months. They further said that they hadn't been able to sleep, eat and felt sad since it came with no results. They continued saying that if she was secretly dating and kept it from them, it would hurt them so much that they would have to end her life. A few minutes later another post was uploaded, stating they had plans to go to the Seventeen dorms and approach Ming to discuss their relationship.
What freaked her out was the fact that they knew the exact area where their dorm was situated. ''I really should've gone to dinner with them.'' She said under her breath. She continued scrolling through the account, seeing if they had posted anything more.
Her attention was grabbed from the screen by sudden noises coming from the front door. You need a code to enter the dorm, so when she heard someone putting the wrong code in as it buzzed, she started slightly panicking. For a couple seconds it was silent, but soon she heard the person pressing the digits again, but this time they were right and the door opened.
Calm down, Yerim. You have three roommates, it could be any of them.
''Coups?'' She called out, silence.
''Shua?'' Silence.
''Myungho?'' Again, silence.
She could feel her heartbeat starting to pick up and her hands started shaking.
''Hello?'' She called out again, but there wasn't an answer.
She closed her computer and got up from her bed with shaking limbs. Her mind was going crazy with panicking thoughts.
They're here. They have found me. They're gonna hurt me. They're gonna kill me.
She tried to open her bedroom door as quietly as possible. She stopped herself, realising she had to have something to defend herself with. She frantically looked around her room, trying to find something that could hurt someone enough it would give her time to run. Ming opted for a pair of scissors that she had used a couple days earlier to cut out pictures that she could hang in her room. She quickly grabbed them with shaking hands and made her way out of her room.
She could hear commotion in the living room. Her chest was tightening from the anxiety she was experiencing at that moment. Her steps were slow, yet she felt like she was going fast. How closer she got to the living room, how harder it became to breathe.
She was about to take her first step into the living room, but was stopped by someone grabbing her from behind. ''Yerim''
She dropped the scissors from her hands and started screaming like she had never done before, while trying to separate herself from the person that had grabbed her.
''Woah woah woah! Hey calm down!''
She started hitting the person as they still were holding on to her. ''Let me go!''
''Yerim, calm down, what's happening?'' She felt more hands on her, grabbing hers so she stopped hitting the person behind her.
''Yerim-ah! It's Joshua, stop hitting!''
She stopped trying to get herself loose and saw Coups and Jeonghan standing before her. She looked behind her and saw a shocked Joshua. Her body became too heavy for her and she fell to the ground. Gut-wrenching sobs tore through her chest and tears ran down her cheeks.
Coups, Jeonghan and Joshua had gotten back a bit earlier than intended from their hangout, deciding they could still have some drinks at the dorm. While Jeonghan and Coups started taking drinks and some snacks from the kitchen, Joshua went to the bathroom. When he left the toilet, he saw Ming weirdly walking to the living room. He thought it would be funny to scare the girl, but he quickly panicked upon her reaction. Jeonghan and Coups flinched hearing Ming's sudden ear piercing screams, but reacted quickly and ran to the hall. When they were met with the sight of a panicking Ming hitting a clueless Joshua, they were taken aback, but quickly went and tried to help.
Ming started yelling at them through her sobs. ''Why didn't you answer me?'' ''I thought someone had broken in!''
Jeonghan crouched down and tried to hug her, but she slapped his hands away. ''No!"
''Yerim-ie, just calm down, alright? You're safe, we're here.'' Coups started talking to her, in a soft voice, contrasting her screaming. Her yelling stopped, but the sound of wailing kept echoing throughout the apartment.
Coups slowly approached her and crouched down next to Jeonghan. He grabbed her hand, letting out a sigh of relief as she didn't move away from him.
''Just breathe, alright? In and out.'' He started to guide how she should breathe, trying to get her heartbeat to slow down. After a while, her breathing matched his and the tightening in her chest was almost gone.
Coups cupped her face upon seeing her gradually calm down. ''Yeah, just like that, good girl.'' He noticed the tears were still escaping from her eyes and tried wiping them away with his thumbs.
While Coups was busy with Ming, Jeonghan stood back up from his crouching position. His focus turned to Joshua who was standing behind him. He took notice of his shaking hands and his raised eyebrows. Joshua noticed his friends looking at him.
''You okay?'' Jeonghan mouthed.
Joshua merely nodded, still in shock by the event that happened earlier.
''Come here, we'll get you off the floor.'' Coups put her arms around his neck and he lifted her up from the ground. It was like a father picking up his kid when they're too tired from walking.
He sat her down on the couch and went back to the kitchen to grab her a glass of water. Meanwhile, Joshua and Jeonghan sat on each of her sides on the couch. Joshua put his hand on her knee and Jeonghan grabbed her hand and rubbed her back.
The leader came back from the kitchen holding a glass of water and he sat down on his knees in front of Ming while giving it to her. ''Here you go, don't drink too fast.'' She did as he told and slowly took sips from the water. When she was finished Coups took the glass from her and put it on the coffee table.
''So,'' Jeonghan started, ''you want to tell us what just happened?'' His eyes observed her face, waiting for her to start talking.
She was still shaken up, her mind was all over the place. ''I thought there was an intruder, I was scared I was going to get hurt.'' Her voice was still quite scratchy from the crying. ''Why did you think you were going to get hurt?'' Jeonghan asked, a bit confused by her answer.
Ming remained silent, not wanting to mention the threatening posts that the stalker made, knowing she would probably have to come clear about everything.
The guys glanced at each other, not understanding her silence. ''Yerim?'' They all looked at her, but Ming's eyes stayed glued on her hands in her lap.
''Yerim, what's going on? Jeonghan asked you a question.'' Coups nudged her knee, thinking her mind had drifted off and she hadn't heard Jeonghan.
She hesitantly met Coups' eyes. "I lied.." She mumbled, looking back down again. "What do you mean?" Joshua spoke up for the first time.
She took a deep breath. "That person who leaked our phone numbers, they have been bothering me the last couple of months." She revealed it to them.
Coups was about to start his scolding, but Jeonghan stopped him before he could. "What have they been doing?" He tried to sound as calm as possible, knowing that if they started scolding her, she would shut down and not tell them anything.
"Uhm, well at first it was just phone calls and texts, but then they started leaving their contact information for me at like my hair salon and stuff," she explained to them, "but then cause I didn't respond to them, they leaked our phone numbers and after you guys left they posted that they were gonna come to our dorm and they even got the area right-"
"Shh, remember to breathe, you're working yourself up again." Jeonghan interrupted her, putting his hand on her chest to check her heartbeat. She took a couple of deep breaths. ''They know where we live.'' She finished off.
''Where's the post?'' Jeonghan asked, turning his phone on. ''It's from the same account as yesterday.'' She replied to him.
After a couple minutes he found the post and showed it to the others. ''Jesus Christ, what a fucking psycho.'' Joshua was just disgusted with the whole situation.
Coups broke his silence. ''Did they ever try to talk to you in person?'' He asked her, worry evident in his voice and on his face.
Ming shook her head. ''No, I don't even know what they look like, I've never seen them.'' She answered him.
''I don't know if that makes me relieved or even more worried.'' The leader said, standing up from the ground. The three members on the couch could see the frustration and anger radiating off of him.
Joshua straightened his posture. ''I think we should call the company.'' He suggested, already grabbing his phone in his pocket.
''The company? Shua, we have to call the police! This crazy stalker needs to be fucking locked up!'' Coups argued with him, raising his voice.
''We don't need to call the police.'' Ming spoke up, not wanting the situation to get out of hand.
Coups turned to her. ''Yerim, this is gonna sound cruel, but by not telling us, you let it get this far. We know you probably meant well, but now you need to let us handle it.'' Despite his frustrations with her, he tried to sound calm and collected.
''I didn't want to tell anyone, because everybody has so much going on already. People are stressing about the comeback, other members have the same privacy issues and Mingyu is still on a break. I just didn't want to add more problems.'' Ming told them, truthfully.
Jeonghan gave her a sad smile. ''We understand that, Yerim-ie. But you also have to understand that that person wants to hurt you, they don't see you as a person, they see you as their property, as their product. We have to take drastic measures, we need to take care of you and prioritise your safety.'' He explained to her, the desperation and sincerity in his voice brought the tears again to her eyes.
''We just want to protect you, because we care for you and love you.'' Coups continued.
Joshua rubbed her back. ''Maybe we should continue this tomorrow, when we all have a clear head, you know?'' He saw everyone getting upset and he didn't want anyone to say things they don't mean and then regret later.
''Yeah, good idea.'' Coups bid everyone a quick goodnight and disappeared into his room. Joshua did the same a few minutes after.
''You're gonna be fine?'' Jeonghan asked her, the pair was still seated on the couch. She gave him a timid nod. He got up from the couch and opened his arms, to which she got up as well and put her arms around his waist. ''If there's anything, just call me, I don't care if I'm sleeping.'' He told her. She chuckled, she felt touched by that, knowing he's a light sleeper. ''I will.''
''Good, now go sleep, I'll let myself out.'' He gave her a quick kiss on the head, bid goodbye and left to go to his own dorm. Ming started her usual night routine. Quick shower, skincare routine, taking her medicine and putting on her pajamas.
She made her way over to her room, but stopped once she passed Coups' room. She absolutely hated seeing him so worried and knowing she's the reason for it, makes it even harder.
She knocked on his door and waited for his sign that she could come in. ''Yes?'' Upon hearing his permission, she opened his door. Coups was laying in his bed, playing with his phone. As soon as he saw her open the door, he put his phone away and sat up. ''Hey, little one.''
She sat herself down on the edge of his bed. ''Are you mad at me?'' It had been bothering her since he told them goodnight.
''No, I'm just frustrated, that's all.'' She could see he had calmed down from earlier, which made her a bit more relieved.
''I'm sorry, I should've said something from the beginning.'' She apologised, fiddling with her fingers. Coups noticed and grabbed her hands. ''We'll talk about it tomorrow, we should go sleep now.''
''Can I stay with you tonight, please?''
The tone with which she said, broke his heart. It had been a while since she last asked him if she could stay with him. She used to stay with him a lot when they were younger, mostly when there would thunderstorms or when she was sad.
He opened his sheets for her and she laid herself next to him. ''Thank you, I really appreciate this.'' She moved her head on his chest and he put his arm around her.
''Goodnight''
''Goodnight, I love you.''
''I love you too.''
Taglist: @lunarxsun@cosmicwintr@mythicalamphitrite@billboard-singer@stopeatread@still-astray@sakuurra
#ming.svt#deluxeocnet#aes!ocnet#14th member of seventeen#seventeen 14th member#seventeen female member#seventeen female addition#seventeen addition#seventeen oc#kpop addition#kpop au#kpop oc#seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#seventeen x reader
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Sweet Like Honey
Fandom: The Bear (2022)
Pairing: Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Aurora Saltillo (oc)
A double Michelin star(s) award winning pastry chef, Aurora Saltillo is adjusting to a complicated world without her mother and without Mikey. Just when she is barely starting to see process in The Beef, Carmy takes over and enters her life again.
Carmy, the same rival from culinary school. Carmy, the same cold-hearted bastard from New York City who took her dream job. Carmy, the same one who ultimately broke Mikey's heart.
Simply said, Aurora can't stand Carmy; Carmy can't stand Aurora. And now, they have to work together.
It only gets more complicated from there.
\\\
Latina OC.
Lindsey Morgan as Aurora Saltillo.
Thank you @thatone-brightstar for the cheering! ily!
Spotify soundtrack here!
AO3 Link here!
Lindsey Morgan as Aurora Saltillo | Ming-Na Wen as Ming Saltillo
Aurora Saltillo contemplated every decision she had made up to that point in time.
Carmy was not a bad person. But when he got serious, he got serious. For Aurora, cooking and baking was fun. It was her joy. She made her own quinceañera cake when she turned fifteen. She catered meals for her family. Growing up with a Mexican biological mother and a Chinese adoptive step mother, she fully embraced both cultures and proudly incorporated both into her cooking.
That was, until she disappeared for two years following a personal crisis and a major breakdown after her mother’s diagnosis. And COVID. Can’t forget that. At least at The Beef, no one questioned her disappearance. They were there for her, unlike the culinary scene in New York. The Beef had her back.
Between losing her mother a month before Mikey’s suicide, there was too much going on for her to process anything.
Now, the kitchen was cleaned up and it has calmed down. Well, more like it had burned out.
Today was a fucked up day and those did not happen very often.
Aurora was too amped up on adrenaline to cry in the freezer. She was too devoted to Mikey to leave. Mikey should be in the kitchen, cooking with them, calming everyone the hell down and cracking jokes and being silly.
So, she numbly took a step back, looking at the recipe for pure disaster.
One energy drink, two stars, three major breakdowns and four tragedies later, Aurora found herself here. In the middle of the aftermath of an angry kitchen. The online orders got fucked up. Everything got fucked up.
Syd walked out. Marcus walked out. Everyone was angry. Richie was bleeding. Everyone was pissed off. But ultimately, the day was over and they could all go home and leave the stress behind.
Syd was not answering Aurora’s texts. Marcus sent her to voicemail.
It was a fucked-up day.
But at least there was tomorrow.
Aurora had cussed out Carmy in the kitchen once the last order was done. She kept it together. Then the onions had to happen. She fucked up an onion. She almost walked out. But she remembered where she was. She remembered who she was.
And she cussed Carmy out to the point even his ancestors must have felt the shame.
She was angry. They were both angry. Frustrated. Hurt.
Richie tried to lead her to the cooler and tried to have her sit there for twenty minutes. She only made it for five. She was too angry to even feel the cold.
“Nothing smart to say this time?”
Here we go…
It was going to be one of those exits, it seemed.
“Plenty,” Aurora said flatly. “Today was a fucked up day, Carm.”
“Don’t need the reminder.”
He did.
“No, you fucking do,” Aurora said. “You had two amazing chefs walk out on you today. Be lucky you didn’t lose three.”
“You were going to walk out too?”
“I was tempted.”
“Well, chef of the year goes to you.” Carmy exhaled the smoke.
Somehow, that was what got to Aurora.
“You know what? Do me a favor—no, do us all a favor—and go home, get the fattest fucking blunt, smoke it and chill the fuck out,” Aurora snapped. “Today was a fucked up day and your shitty attitude is what drove everyone apart. Mistakes happen! It happens! But you’re too much of a fucking egoistical perfectionist to realize it.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
Aurora ran out of steam. She let out a huff. “Fine.” She turned on her heels and began to talk to the train station.
“Wait.”
“What is it?”
“Marcus’s donut. It was…” Carmy trailed off. “It was good.”
A really weird olive branch.
“Of course, it was. Marcus made it.” Aurora tightened her coat. “Goodnight, Carmy.”
On a rough day like this, Mikey would have hugged her. Told her it was okay. He would have reassured her that everything was fine and to cool off in the cooler so she could get cooler.
Boy, did she sob at Mikey’s funeral.
She was broken. Everything was broken. Her best friend, lost and gone. The one who called her Rora. The one who called her the Little Lion, who liked to roar. Marcus held her in his arms for comfort and so she would not collapse again. Her mom, widow, held Richie’s arm.
She did not connect the dots about Carmy being the same Carmen from New York City, nor the same asshole from culinary school while at the funeral. She was too busy crying. She couldn’t compose herself for Richie’s sake, as much as she tried to tell herself to do so. All that was on her mind was Mikey. All she could process was Mikey. All she could think of was Mikey on the cold table.
Richie didn’t blame her either.
At his apartment after the service, she curled up with him on the couch on his lap, held each other in silence. Watched the Blackhawks game on low volume. Both of their eyes were swollen from crying. Throats numb from the sobs. He merely held her. Mourning for the same man who should have been alive. She fell asleep like that.
She woke up to Richie talking to Marcus in the middle of the night. About how he was worried about Aurora. About how he was in shock and felt like an endless nightmare.
Mikey stressed about The Beef. She knew that. She was the one sitting on Mikey’s desk trying to crunch the numbers on her calculator app on what supplies they could get in bulk from the dollar store. The Lion Perch, as she called it. She was an optimist. She was the one who was trying to fix it all alongside him.
She was the one who was with Richie when they identified the body too.
A month later, she returned to work at the Beef to Carmy trying to fix everything. The same Carmy who took her dream job. The same Carmy who despised her in culinary school.
Just like in New York City, Carmy was making it worse.
Her mom was in the kitchen watching the telenovela when Aurora got home.
“Ma, I’m home!” She loudly greeted.
“Hey baby!” Her mom greeted. “Dinner is ready. I made sesame beef.”
Aurora loved making dinner. It was one of her favorite meals to make, next to breakfast. But sometimes, her mom took over and unexpectedly made it. She said it was to vary the flavor. But Aurora knew it was to try to take the weight off her chest.
But her mom cooked something. She actually cooked!
This was a win. This was a big win. Her mom rarely cooked after her mama’s funeral.
“Fuck yeah! How was work?”
“Shit,” her mother said simply. “But I survived. What about you?”
It was horrible. I miss Mikey. I miss mom.
Instead, Aurora shrugged and laid her head on her mom’s shoulder. “I made it through.” She sat down at the kitchen table. “Come on, ma. I do not want to miss this part.” She gestured to sit next to her.
At least there was tomorrow.
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Has SQQ tried to separate LBH from SY? After all, SQQ is fond of SY and, And how has that been affecting LBH? I mean, Binhe is fond of his Shixiong
(sorry if You don't undertand me, my english is not very good)
(Don’t worry, your english is very good!! I love it when people are messaging me even though english is not their first language (like me). It means that you took the time to write this in a language you might not feel comfortable with. Thank you so much for sending this ask, it means a lot to me <3)
At first, Shen Qingqiu is certainly unhappy to see Luo Binghe sticking to Shen Yuan. He tries to separate them by all kinds of means. He’s also still that good old PIDW Shen Qingqiu so he even tries to beat some sense into Luo Binghe behind his eldest disciple’s back. (Like the AU's part 7.) But, ironically, Shen Yuan always seeks his shidi out if Binghe’s out of his sight for too long and helps him mend the cuts and bruises that Shen Qingqiu gave him. Because of this, the latter is half forced to back off and let that new disciple of his stick to Shen Yuan.
The good thing about Shen Yuan’s presence as a disciple in this AU is that it helps the original (PIDW) hatred between the two to soften up a touch. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t HATE Luo Binghe. He dislikes him, like an annoying bug buzzing too close to your ear. As for Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan’s presence helps him not to receive as much bad treatment from their shizun and fellow disciples. So his “respect” for Shen Qingqiu more or less stays intact until the Endless Abyss part, his growing resentment for his shizun as he grows older never reaching the peak of hatred either.
I’m also taking the opportunity to add this:
Some of you might think that my way of thinking and writing about this AU is too rose coloured. But, as I as discussing this AU with a few people, I realized that Shen Yuan just… neutralizes everything. As if he’s diverting the attention to himself (he doesn’t mean to though). Let me explain:
In PIDW, Shen Qingqiu is described has having a rather low cultivation compared to his martial siblings, probably due to his time with Wu Yanzi (let’s just say that this guy wasn’t a good mentor lol). So he comes to be jealous of Luo Binghe’s potential, shame pilling up on his heart. He then uses every excuse he can find to abuse Luo Binghe, and goes as far as leading his disciples, such as Ming Fan, to bully him too. As for the PIDW’s Luo Binghe, his “blackening” (his hatred reaching a point of no return) only happens when he’s stabbed then thrown into the Endless Abyss. Before this point, he’s just our cute and innocent white lotus baby boy. That’s exactly what Shen Yuan in svsss exploits to change Luo Binghe’s view of Shen Qingqiu.
Ok, so, that being said, hear me out: The Shen Yuan in this AU is also very talented… in a different way than Binghe. Like I said in another post, he’s closer to Shen Qingqiu’s chosen “style”, so he gets along better with his shizun right from the start. (There’s also something else but this is a SECRET ssshhhHHHH) Shen Yuan is also from the modern era and the system didn’t give him any kind of character restriction since he transmigrated as himself, so he acts a little weird in Shen Qingqiu’s eyes. In that case, why would Shen Qingqiu’s be jealous of a disciple he thinks to be a little “broken” in the head and hardly better than him at cultivating? He wouldn’t, right? And Shen Yuan is useful and polite, and he’s got a very compatible personality with Shen Qingqiu (in a positive way). So he grows on Shen Qingqiu. Now, after trying to separate his oldest and youngest disciples many times and failing, would he insist on doing so, risking upsetting and disappointing the only disciple he grew to actually like? I personally don’t think so. Not when the original Shen Qingqiu is said to be very loyal under all that attitude. Plus, the Shen Yuan in this AU is very much afraid to end up being killed by his not-yet shidi because of Shen Qingqiu, so he tries really hard to slowly change his shizun’s view of the world (and because the system also gave him a mission about it).
That’s why I think Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t have the opportunity to grow to HATE Luo Binghe. First, because Shen Yuan is also talented and it wouldn’t make sense for Shen Qingqiu to hate one but not the other. Second, because Shen Yuan, as his first disciple, had the time to gradually help Shen Qingqiu heal from his shame of being inferior by fortunately being similar to him and supporting him. And third, because Shen Yuan is simply there, being a guy, and getting frustratingly in his shizun’s way when the latter tries to be mean to Luo Binghe. (Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not making Shen Qingqiu’s a saint, he’s very much still an arrogant, agressive, proud and ambitious bastard at first. He just now has other choices than going down the “villain’s path”. He’s more… nuanced? I don’t know.)
Therefore, if we say that Shen Yuan’s presence halves the abuse Luo Binghe would have received otherwise (while also giving him the love and attention his version in svsss gave him), I think it’s fair to think he would not resent Shen Qingqiu as much and instead focus his attention on his shixiong. In svsss, it’s clearly stated that Luo Binghe’s doesn’t even hate Shen Qingqiu for beating him after being taken as his disciple. He does feel SAD about it, but he believes that his shizun and his older martial siblings only want to “toughen him up”. He only starts to truly hate and blame his shizun after being thrown into the Endless Abyss. So would Luo Binghe hate Shen Qingqiu at the beginning of this AU considering all of the above? No, I don’t think he would. (As for later, I’m not saying hahaha)
I hope this answers your question! (And I apologize for the above novel, I felt like it was a good opportunity to clarify my view for this AU. (。・ω・。))
#ask box#sy shixiong au#not art#littlewolf770#I have no idea if all of this makes sense to anyone but me#im so very sorry if yall dont like when i go on and on like this#please tell me if this is annoying lmao#i love writing like this though#it helps me ground my ideas
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what do you think of the costumes from the drama Royal Feast/尚食 ? It's set in the kitchens of the ming dynasty. The higher ranking ladies in charge of food have a really interesting hairstyle, but I couldn't find anything about it
Firstly I think the costuming in this drama is very much in the repertoire of "dramas that use costumes from all over the Ming Dynasty anachronistically regardless of the actual time setting", so it isn't historically accurate by any measure. I'm sorry I can't be bothered to find the ladies you're talking about because this drama and stuff surrounding it annoy me to no end. The story is allegedly set between the Yongle and Xuande eras (1404-35) in the early Ming, but as always many of the costumes are taken from the late Ming and even the Qing. I shouldn't need to say this but the Ming Dynasty was long, and what people wore in 1404 obviously wasn't going to be the same as what they wore in 1620. Well, this drama doesn't care. This kind of anachronistic mishmash of Ming fashions was fresh and cool when Song of Youth did it first, because at the time the bar for costuming was so low and people were so starved of Ming representation that it was impressive for dramas to have costumes that have even the slightest twinge of connection to the Ming, but now I'm starting to see a trend and it's disturbing. If I'm watching something set in the early 15th century I want to see the early 15th century, not the 16th or 17th or even 18th for God's sake. I think the Chinese period drama industry needs to actually have standards now, because otherwise instead of improving the quality and accuracy of costuming, it's just going to replace guzhuang norms with a new but equally bullshit set of norms.
Looking at what the guy is wearing here, this kind of gunfu robe with colorful roundels and hat with the gold decorations were not seen on formal portraits of emperors until Emperor Longqing (reign 1567-72) 150+ years into the future. This is already enough for me to rest my case.
I strongly urge some of these costumes to go back to their respective corners of the Ming Dynasty since few of them are from between 1404 and 1435. Aside from the anachronism, some of the costumes are badly constructed and come from nowhere in the Ming. It's repeatedly mentioned on online sources that the costumers referenced 明宪宗元宵行乐图, which I find hilarious that they think it's a good thing because that artwork is from 1485, 50 years in the future (not to mention that the full skirt look of that era was distinct and not existent earlier).
@guzhuangheaven posted a gifset from this drama that looks almost 100% 18th century (Qianlong era, as always. I'm not even surprised at this point)
On top of the bad costuming, the producer Yu Zheng again does what he does best and tries to play the nationalism card by picking fights with Korean people online (whether they are genuine Koreans or hired actors/photoshopped screenshots I will never know) who claimed some elements of the costuming and plot plagiarized iconic 2003 Korean drama Dae Jang Geum. I don't even care whether it was true, it's this attitude of always trying to artificially manufacture hatred against Koreans to make himself look good. It's like he's much less concerned with making an actually good drama than generating clout. I am so sick and tired of his shenanigans I just want a drama with decent, non time travelling costumes is that too much to ask for.
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Top 5 fucked up siblings
worried that i always answer this one with the same five, because i'm p sure i've answered this before. but oh well here goes
1. Richard & Lymond (Lymond Chronicles). Somebody just posted an excerpt about them on my dash recently and got me thinking about them again. I love how pretty much every book has Lymond dragging Richard on a rollercoaster of emotion but The Game of Kings remains prime territory in that regard. Just Lymond inflicting emotional terrorism on his older brother. They're not quite as codependent as pretty much everyone else on this list (but that's a high bar); still fucked up. Lymond running away from Richard for a solid few years because a prophecy convinced him that their reuniting would kill Richard is another highlight.
2. Felix & Mildmay (Doctrine of Labyrinths). Speaking of codependent! I feel like the fact that I also put these two on the "fucked up but soft" list speaks for itself here, and also I feel like one could somewhat reasonably pitch Doctrine of Labyrinths as "fucked up siblings in secondary world fantasy: the series." it wouldn't be very informative but it would be accurate.
3. Jiang Cheng & Jiang Yanli & Wei Wuxian (MDZS/The Untamed). And I say again: speaking of codependent! I know Wei Wuxian is not actually "sibling" yes but the weird in-between role he takes is also part of what makes this dynamic so good. And what I love about these three is that you look at them together and you're like "awww they're so cute it's so tragic how they fall apart" and then you scratch a little and you're like "oh no. oh dear. you guys are a mess and your relationship dynamics are a disaster that ain't good" and then you scratch a little more and go "awww. they're so cute in their incredibly messed up codependence triangle" again. they're so tangled up in each other in this messy cobbled together structure, and none of them can walk away from each other, not really. not outside of death, certainly, and not really even then.
love that for them.
4. Ianthe & Coronabeth. Hope we get more of these two in Alecto. I support women's wrongs. Can't wait to see what happens here because I suspect it will be (a) not good and (b) fun to watch.
5. Shi Qingxuan & Shi Wudu. I wavered for a while on this one, thought about going for my old Thor and Loki standby, but decided since I feel like I've talked less about these two...I just find their relationship fascinating. Shi Wudu's overbearing paternalistic attitude toward Shi Qingxuan, particularly toward her favor of her female form but also just in general his...base assumption that he knows what's best for her and is just making sure she's taken care of. All the way down to stealing and swapping fates, which he specifically, deliberately, keeps Shi Qingxuan from knowing about. Which makes sense! because when Shi Qingxuan - fair-minded Shi Qingxuan who was so adamant about Pei Su getting a trial and not getting off lightly just because he's Pei Ming's protege - finds out what happened, she immediately rejects it. She's desperate to throw away her godhood, actively fighting her brother's attempts to "help." She's disgusted by the knowledge of how she ascended.
I figure Shi Wudu would've had some sense of how Shi Qingxuan would feel about it, but he needed to save his baby brother's life and he overturned the world to do so. Which would be sweet and touching in a world where it didn't come so horribly at the expense of someone else's life - but of course it had to.
And at the same time, for all Shi Qingxuan rolls her eyes and expresses exasperation and frustration with her brother and his behavior, she also doesn't hesitate to go to him when he's in need. Or, well, she does hesitate, but ultimately she can't stand back. For all her anger with him for what he's done, and in her name, she still loves him so much, and tries so, so hard to save him, to save them both.
And the fact, too, that Shi Wudu actively provokes He Xuan into ripping his head off rather than choose an option that will cause Shi Qingxuan inevitable suffering (though what he thought would happen afterward, I don't know)...yikes, dude, but also I'm kinda impressed.
I would not necessarily say that I like Shi Wudu most of the time. But I do find him, and the way he interacts with Shi Qingxuan in particular, very interesting. And I love thinking about how Shi Qingxuan wrestles with his death post-canon. (I wonder if Shi Qingxuan feels like she's responsible for both Scholar He's death and her brother's.)
#conversating#anonymous#top five meme#doctrine of labyrinths#the sad queer cultivators show#lymond chronicles#dysfunctional gods and ghost kinks
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Hello! Long time fan of your account, and sorry for the long question.
About HWS Japan's relationship with China I would see him already having troubles with him before western intervention as I am currently reading about East Asian's relationships, Tang China and Silla (modern day South Korea) defeated Japan and Baekje (who had ties with the royal family in Japan) would that affect their relationship already? I hc Kiku feeling like Yao was not a very nice guy to be around but nevertheless a good teacher (fanboy of the Tang dynasty's culture but boi this guy is horrible type of relationship)
Since China historically favoured Korea (with benefits) it makes sense for South Korea to get along with China (considering that Silla's territories are South Korean and Goguryeo North Korea's and Silla played smarts by having Tang back them into fighting against Baekje and Goguryeo) but for most of the history it seems that Japanese and Chinese interactions were chaotic, with the Ningbo incident, the battle of baekgang and battle of imjin river where China helped Korea to defeat Japanese expansionism.
I am now seeing Japan as kinda of a Zuko to his family (no blood ties)
@thepianistblogsbasedonhumanities: hey, thanks for the very detailed (and interesting) question! this is my personal take on kiku and yao before the 20th century (from my POV as a diaspora Chinese/SEAsian):
- deep cultural influences, intimacy and enmity often go hand-in-hand, for nations that are neighbours—and so it is for Kiku and Yao. This is something I see even for nations I headcanon as siblings by blood—for example, with England and Scotland, Wales, Ireland, regarding the historical impact of English dominance and cultural imperialism on them, both before and after the British Empire became a world power. In the case of Kiku and Yao, I don’t see them as related or ever perceiving the other that way—at most, it was confined to how the Chinese tributary system sometimes deployed familial metaphors (such as how the academic literature describes Ming China and Joseon Korea being likened to a ‘older-younger brother dynamic’ in the Chinese imperial worldview. Likewise, I wouldn’t see Yao or Yong-soo as actually related either).
- for Yao and Kiku specifically, a somewhat regicidal mentor-protégé dynamic: as you point out, Sino-Japanese conflicts existed long before Japan was influenced by Western empires. How I see it: while Alfred and other circling Western powers did alter Kiku’s attitude towards Yao and Yong-soo from what it was during isolationism, Japanese imperial ambitions are not new in the larger sweep of 2000+ years of history. Kiku might have waged the 1894 Sino-Japanese War and annexation of Korea in western uniforms and with a westernized military—but it still mirrors the 16th century Imjin/Chongyu Wars and the 663 CE Battle of Baekgang in the pattern of Sino-Japanese conflicts involving Korea. If anything, imo, some of Kiku’s ambitious streak comes from Yao’s influence (rather than simply copying the Western powers). After all, even during those calm stretches where he and Yao were on friendly terms, he’s watching Yao doing what empires do—i.e the conquest of the “Baiyue” tribes who originally lived in Southern China, of Vietnam, or the Ming war against the Sinhalese kingdom of Kotte during Zheng He’s voyages.
- while by modern standards, this does seem like a tumultuous relationship, I see the helltalias being more accustomed to this, existing in eras where empire and warfare were treated as normalised byproducts of international relations. I feel like Kiku alternatingly admires, envies and resents Yao (sometimes all at once), but all the same, I don’t think he always found Yao uniquely horrible—if only because he never expected a man who is an empire to be nurturing or soft (even if Yao is capable of showing that side when he wants to). I’m a bit fuzzy re: when they first meet, but if I take the Han dynasty/ Yayoi period (based on the earliest found mention of Japan in Chinese records)? This is the era of the Roman, Persian and Gupta empires—and like them, Han dynasty Yao is also a conqueror. He's rather what Kiku expects of an empire: kind of great, terrible, intimidating and fascinating culturally all at once. From Kiku’s POV, Yao is a man comfortable with a sword as he is an inkbrush, a warlord occupied with political schemes—but also the sort who would halt his warhorse to admire the plum blossoms by the Yangtze river and compose a poem. During those Japanese embassies to the subsequent Tang dynasty, I see it similarly—for all the cosmopolitan artistic developments Kiku’s keen to learn about, he’s well aware of the Tang expansion into Central Asia, and of course the Battle of Baekgang in Korea where he’s actually at war with Yao.
- Imo, pre-20th century Kiku still tended to regard Yao as a sort of standard for what “power” and “civilization” looked like. In that vein, I headcanon the Opium Wars being more uniquely shocking to Kiku compared to the Manchu or Mongol conquests of China—while both had enormous repercussions, the Opium Wars represented a more drastic overturning of the Chinese worldview—including those tenets Kiku incorporated into his own culture centuries ago. Now, it seems as though all this is ossified, irrelevant and decadent—next to Western industrialisation and ways of thinking. We might think, but regimes come and go, don't they? However, Kiku’s accustomed to Yao being atop the hierarchy for centuries, or at least being regarded as culturally sophisticated, even by his enemies (the Manchu and Mongols both being open to adopting certain elements of Chinese culture, even if partly motivated by fostering a sense of legitimacy with the larger population). And so, even when Kiku was in a long-term and intensely romantic relationship with Jan/Johan (Ned) and was learning about Western culture from him before 1853, he still retained many of his Chinese-influenced customs (such as Confucian philosophy or the way the kimono was influenced by the Chinese hanfu).
- so, overall—my personal take on Kiku and Yao before the 20th century is deep cultural influence, steeped in a complicated and contradictory relationship. Ultimately, I also feel this sort of Janus-faced dynamic isn’t unprecedented between neighbouring nations who have a long history together. And they clash because they’re similar in some ways; having a deep vein of artistry, but also sharp-edged pride and ambition. Yao regards him as an upstart: perhaps a good learner who is savvy at adapting and incorporating what he learns—but also a troublemaker who needs to be reminded his place (Imjin/Chongyu Wars, the Ningbo Incident etc). For his part, imo, Kiku doesn’t really try to deny that Yao is his mentor and during calmer eras, admiration might be stronger than envy or resentment for Yao—but personality-wise, imo Kiku has a strong streak of pride and ambition— and not enough reverence to always accept the Chinese imperial hierarchy.
#thepianistblogsbasedonhumanities#hetalia#hws china#hws japan#hws korea#hetalia headcanons#hope that answers it!#long post
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I was a fan of Highlander back in the day - and there is an episode called Til Death featuring an Immortal couple, Robert and Gina de Valicourt, celebrating their 300th wedding anniversary (they get married every 100 years) - and they would absolutely be Daniel and Terry if they were in that Universe.
Robert is a tall, pale, dark hair and blue eyes. Gina, a small feisty brunette with petite features and big brown eyes.
Like Terry stole Daniel from Johnny and Chozen, Robert stole Gina from Duncan MacLeod and High Fitzcairne.
During an argument, Robert makes the mistake of calling Gina a spoiled brat and she breaks his prized Ming Vase. “What do you expect from a brat?” She asks before walking off smiling. By the end of it, he’s apologizing and promising to give her whatever she wants.
And, down the road in Mercy, Daniel has gone into Super Brat mode… And it’s ALL Terry’s fault.
Daniel: “— I SWEAR TO GOD, TERRY!”
Kreese (walking in on the Happy Couple arguing loudly): “I take it I’ve come at a bad time.”
Daniel: “No, not at all John.”
Terry: “Yes, you’re right on time to see Danny behaving like a spoiled brat!”
Daniel (making his way to the display area): “And right on time to help you clean up the mess.”
Terry: “What mess?”
(Daniel places his hand on the Celadon Vase, evil little smirk on his face. Both Kreese and Terry go absolutely still.)
Terry: Danny, no… Not the Celadon Vase. DanielSilverdon’tyoudare!!!
(Daniel knocks it off the table and it smashes against the floor)
(Terry stands there shaking in rage, but Daniel just strolls up to him, looking him right in the eye) What do you expect from a brat? (He walks away smiling)
Kreese: Trouble in paradise?
Terry: I’m gonna kill him…
Kreese (chuckling): What I would have given to hear that five years ago.
Terry, adjusting himself in his pants: Actually, I’m going to fu….
Kreese: that’s my cue to leave
Terry: …. ck that attitude right out of him
Daniel, from the other room: I’d like to see you try
All that is brilliant BTW - I laughed so much and I have nothing to add really.
I do have a story though, that has some of these themes.
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Agents of SHIELD Rewatch Season 4A (ep. 1-8)
Here's my commentary on my rewatch of Agents of SHIELD Season 4 Episodes 1-8. This may not be the best commentary since these are just the thoughts and opinions that come to my mind as I watch the episodes rather than a full-blown analysis, but I'm just having fun with it!
Oh boy, do I have OPINIONS about these first few episodes…
4x01 The Ghost
And here’s where the show took advantage of the 10pm time slot: we get a scene of Daisy getting dressed.
HERE HE IS
ME GHOST RIDER HIMSELF
ROBBIE REYES
Also the score for the Ghost Rider pod is badass and also the same score Daisy was listening to when she was in quarantine after getting her powers in s2.
This season also gave me a new appreciation for the title card.
The Mack and Coulson dynamic is pretty cool this season.
Especially after how they were kind of butting heads in season 2.
DAVIS D. DAVIS
“I think you look forward to that more than I do” about May.
May isn’t wearing heels, so you can actually see how short she actually is irl😅
PIPER!! LOVE HER ATTITUDE!
“Spine pulled out of his… ohh” Oh Mack, I love you.
“May, you’re not sharing”
Thank you Coulson and Mack for understanding Daisy’s intentions.
“Who the hell are you” - Mack. My second favorite person to say this line.
“Those are football teams” “Not sure they are, Turbo”
Mack is such a mood. Wanted an exploding pen.
Emo Daisy style tho👌🏼
Love how you don’t really see much of Robbie’s face at first. Raises the intimidation.
Mack’s one liners are ON POINT!
ELENA!!! I LOVE YOU!
They really set Davis up to die this season giving him a wife and a kid on the way.
“Just ask me to dinner again” WHAT HAPPENED AT THE FIRST DINNER!
THE TENSION! I LOVE IT!
YOYO MADE MACK SPEECHLESS.
Also, because of the Accords, literally every move Elena makes is tracked. EVERY powered and enhanced individual that is under the Accords is being tracked. Literally taking away innocent citizens’ civil liberties. This is why being Team Cap is the right answer. The government is taking advantage of their power and using it to track and later kill individuals like inhumans who have done nothing wrong but are being targeted.
Radcliffe just has Aida naked all the time???
“WHOT THE HELL”
“A nAkEd BoDy”
I can’t watch Daisy getting on the bus seriously anymore knowing that the crew decided to troll Chloe and have it drive away😂
Daisy and Yo-Yo friendship🥹 screw you season 5.
“I think I stumbled upon a serial killer” “Ooh fun”
“Take care of yourself” All Daisy wants for the team is for them to be safe.
Also how can anyone blame Daisy for leaving. She’s loss so much and has felt the guilt for all of it. Not to mention how NO ONE except Mack decided to go down and see her and comfort her after Hive. Daisy left because she didn’t want to feel like a burden, which if i’m being honest, the team kinda treated her like so after Hive and talking to her only for information. Daisy left because she cared about her team. She didn’t want to be the reason she brought them pain. However, I have a feeling that them not talking to her is what also pushed her away, thinking that they didn’t want her around anymore.
Elizabeth and Ming are essentially the same height, so they couldn’t have May in heels and put Jemma in shoes that have a lift in them so that she seems intimidating towards May.
“Should’ve cut off your own hand”
I love Robbie Reyes. Just thought you all should know.
I appreciate that Jemma has gained the confidence to where she can handle positions of authority, but knowing what I know happens later makes it really hard to be proud of her for it. The fandom respects Jemma’s authority, but when Daisy is in authority, she’s disrespected? How come Daisy’s authority isn’t respected later?? Jemma was quick to defy Daisy in season 5.
And Jemma has the nerve to assume May is jealous of her status? May makes it clear that even she’s surprised what the position has done to Jemma.
I do understand Jemma wanting the power to keep the team together in some capacity, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your friends’ respect.
“After all we’ve been through” yet you, Jemma, insinuating May being jealous of you. You’re the one who has thrown away the respect they deserve just as much.
Daisy does her research. But I liked to believe she knew Robbie’s car’s model because Coulson and Mack are such a car guys that they probably shared some car facts with her.
“These guys might kill someone else besides themselves” “YEAH US”
MAaAaAaAYYY!!! THE GHOST!
The way Robbie calls Daisy chica😍
The visual effects this season are INSANE!
How come it’s barely touched on that Daisy is literally suicidal this season?
Even the Ghost Rider sees Daisy as a good person.
Robbie and Gabe’s relationship🥹
“I finished high school… in the 11th grade”
The van’s back. But it’s not her van.
4x02 Meet the New Boss
That poor little boy😅🥺
You do that badass walk, Robbie
The team always saw the common room of the Playground as home🥺 now that it’s redecorated, it’s doesn’t have that homey feeling.
Daisy with the tea mug and acting all smug is giving me life.
I feel like a lot of people dislike Mace, which is understandable given what we got of him at first, but later, you can actually see how he’s a good person.
Robbing banks and returning money to their rightful owners. How come they only look at the bad?
“Maybe she’s just a ghost”
The little Piper and May interaction.
Again, Daisy is literally suicidal. Why is barely anyone talking about it?
“Fighting to right every wrong” DAISY’S CHARACTER IN A NUTSHELL!
She still keeps a picture of Lincoln😭
I LOVE THIS SCENE WITH DAISY ON THE CAR! I bet Chloe had so much fun with that scene.
“Neutralize powers. I’d love to see them” that guy seemed a little too happy about repressing powers.
“Who wants to step aside a real life quinjet” ME🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️ Aren’t they supposed to have a quinjet ride coming to Avengers Campus at Disnleyland or is that just something I dreamt/made up?
Poor May😭
“Always looking out for us” THATS MAY
It definitely was cool during my first watch finding out that Mace was “inhuman”
The way Mack carefully cares for Daisy’s arm😭😭
“She’s turned her back” She most certainly HAS NOT! WTF!! Has she done anything terrible to you, Fitz? I don’t think so. And don’t say choking you out during Hive cause that was not of her will.
“Something terrible happened, and she didn’t want our help getting through it” WHEN DID YOU GUYS HELP HER??? YOU GUYS HAD HER LOCKED IN A CELL. YOU TREATED HER LIKE SHIT AND ONLY SPOKE TO HER TO GET INFORMATION OUT OF HER, MAKING HER RELIVE EVENTS THAT SHE MOST DEFINITELY SHOILD HAVE PTSD FROM! THE ONLY PERSON WHO SPOKE TO HER WITH SYMPATHY AND COMPASSION WAS MACK!! Oh my god just get Fitz off my screen already.
“We’ve all been through terrible things” That is something you NEVER EVER want to tell a person who is depressed, suicidal, and grieving after a very traumatic experience. Also, you didn’t have that attitude when other people went through terrible things. How come every single person in this show are allowed to step away from the agency for their own good (Jemma in s2, May in s3, Fitz himself in s3), but Daisy isn’t allowed??? And when they all went through those things, they had people supporting them, while Daisy was basically left to fend for herself in confinement. How come she’s told “well too bad. bad things happen to all of us so you just have to suck it up” My god, just show some empathy. Daisy does it, basically expected to, but why can’t anybody else?? Then again, we’re talking about Fitz who literally doesn’t have an empathetic bone in his body and only cares if it effects him. So what if YOU were so hurt that SHE left to BETTER HERSELF and MAKE SURE THE POEPLE SHE CARED ABOUT ARE SAFE after no one else would. I hate this. I hate this scene. I hate Fitz.
Glad I can finally say that^
“Never turned our back” UM FITZ, YOU LITERALLY DID IN SEASON 3.
“I’m doing what I need to do” “But that still affects us” Again, how come they get to guilt trip Daisy with their own feelings but she doesn’t get to help herself with her feelings and trauma?
4x03 Uprising
This is surprisingly one of my comfort episodes. I know, weird one to have. Maybe because it has a lot of Elena and I love her.
Yes Maria. Mack is sexy.
The crackling of the title screen!!
Elena, always the hater of heels. (Me too Yo-Yo, me too)
“I like to vet my vengeance demons before I hop in a car with them”
Of course as they are talking about it, the blackout strikes LA.
Fuck Ellen Nadeer
Elena’s outfit in this episode is so cute!
“She’s at a bachelorette party. Probably having a good time, drinking and dancing with all those sexy latino guys” Fitz, I don’t like you, especially after last episode, please don’t make me laugh. But also, don’t throw that at Mack.
It doesn’t take a lot to be a decent human being. Elena, you don’t need these people in your life.
THE HAND😂
Love how Coulson’s like “I wish I could have been there to see the flame demon” while Mack is all “Oh hell no”
If people turn on you that quickly in a situation where you are the victim, they were never your friends in the first place.
Love this fight scene! And Elena’s little teasing smile with the knife😁
“At least I don’t have to wear a stupid dress”
“I thought registered people were protected” ANOTHER REASON THE ACCORDS WERE A TERRIBLE IDEA.
Also, the actor who plays Gabe (Lorenzo James Henrie) is the younger brother of the actor who played Justin (David Henrie) in Wizards of Waverly Place. One of my favorite fun facts cause that was my favorite childhood show. He’s also only like a year younger than Chloe.
So SHIELD just has drugs that instantly kill people on hand?
And here’s Melinda May death number 1 of 2.
FINALLY we have a location of the Playground. Washington D.C.
This episode should have been a good form of proof that Mace isn’t a terrible person. He knew better than to believe it was the inhumans and he trusted Coulson.
Only Melinda May can wake up from being dead and just immediately demand to be released from stuff holding her down.
I LOVE the slow mo Yo-Yo shots. Especially cause she looks like she’s having so much fun.
“If that’s your real name” “I’ve had a few”
Thank you Elena for telling at least someone that they should respect Daisy.
He brought meds and bandages for her😭😭
Gabe, you liar.
“I hear you’re feeling like yourself” “I’m cranky” “Like I said”
Daisy, I don’t think that’s how you take pills.
Ellen Nadeer, fuck you
17 innocent inhumans were killed because of the Accords.
4x04 Let Me Stand Next to Your Fire
Jemma, NEVER trust email offers on apartments. Especially if it meets your criteria exactly.
The soft Quake theme as Daisy’s literally bleeding out.
So May’s just there, with nothing to entertain herself with? At least let her watch TV or give her her phone.
May’s just thinking “I could’ve gone out at the hands of anything, but Radcliffe? Really?”
Also the drinking. Why is Daisy kinda having a drinking problem not talked about either?
People will hate Daisy for holding a gun to Jemma. You guys actually think Daisy would have pulled the trigger on Jemma??? Heck I don’t think Jemma even believed Daisy would pull the trigger.
And of course, a vintage car chase in the famous LA River.
Mack the entire chase: “Please, for the love of god, let me work on Lola”
Dorky Coulson with the Grease reference.
“Hey-lo”
“We did everything we could for him” But you guys couldn’t do the same for Daisy??
“Suck it up” Again, stuff not to say to people who are depressed.
Of course, the fire starter guy works at a fireworks store.
“Take a stand with me. Fight back. Take control of your life again” I’ve seen people call this being reckless, but Daisy only wants what’s best for her people.
DO NOT tell the robot that lying saves lives. DO NOT tell a robot that EVER!
“I know. That’s the point” DAISY LITERALLY JUST DOESNT WANT THE PEOPLE SHE CARES ABOUT TO LOSE AS MUCH AS SHE HAS.
ALSO!! The gun Jemma brought that Daisy held to her… WAS AN ICER. So Daisy wasn’t going to kill her even if she did pull the trigger, which she certainly was not going to.
“Huh”⛓🔥
“Did two fire dudes fall into a warehouse full of fireworks”
Coulson, you gotta be dramatic with just throwing the tablet on the ground?
4x05 Lockup
It’s definitely interesting watching this season after WandaVision and Multiverse of Madness. But I will always love shield more for how they handled the Darkhold.
Love snarky Daisy.
“Lucy and the whole Peanuts gang”
Mack delegating. Director Mackenzie foreshadowing.
“I didn’t always have powers, and I think I did alright” I love you Daisy.
“Oh, hell!” That’s my reaction too. I don’t like needles either, Mack😅
“Stop whining” Oh May. I love you.
Blue-skinned killers in Wyoming. So those Kree were reported.
THANK YOU DIRECTOR MACE
Now that’s May and Coulson’s “stay away from our daughter” fight.
This is probably the only time they talk about Daisy being suicidal, and it’s to degrade her.
I feel like May was the only person to talk to Daisy in a way that didn’t make her the bad guy. She was stern, in her very May way, but she never put Daisy down or called her the bad guy or that she’s a terrible person for trying to protect the people she loves.
Fuck Ellen Nadeer
4x06 The Good Samaritan
Again, I love that Robbie and Gabe are so close and they are always looking out for one another despite their situations.
“Geese? I have zero geese. We are goose free”😃🦆
May concerned with Fitzsimmons’ relationship. At least she is cause I sure as heck am not.
This flashback is so deep and so powerful oh my god.
UGH Daisy being so supportive of Robbie during this time. If the show had went down the route of Quakerider being a thing, I would have been so down for that! I’m more of a casual Quakerider shipper, but they would 100% be otp if it went down that road.
Mace canonically collected Hot Wheels.
What do you mean it’s not possible Fitz? Ghost Rider just broke out.
“ROYGBIV clearance”
Isodine mention! I really need to rewatch Agent Carter.
“Sounds a little Fox News to me”
Sorry if I don’t say a lot for this episode. I’m kinda working on something at the same time😅
Shut up, Fitz.
“Like the angel” “No, I’m the other one”
4x07 Deals With Our Devils
I like how May has protection gear (the glasses/goggles) while Mack only has his shotgun axe😅
“Impossible things happen all the team” THANK YOU DAISY.
Not the biggest fan of this Simmons side story because 1) it’s another annoying Fitzsimmons separation storyline, and 2) it introduces Vijay (who deserved better) and we never go anywhere with that.
“Melinda, don’t you dare” one of the very few times someone (Mack) other than Coulson calls her Melinda.
“My axe is plenty sharp… and a shotgun”
Daisy is always the best at comforting people a shame that people couldn’t do the same. yes, i will never be over it.
“Mack, what’s gotten into you?” THE FREAKING GHOST RIDER, THATS WHAT
“I hate watching my own demise”
Fitz, can you think of the current situation instead of Simmons or yourself right now???
“It heals itself. Scientifically impossible self healing car” Keep telling yourself that, Daisy😂
“WiTh No HeLmEtS” Oh Mace.
“What’s your name?” “Nathanson, ma’am. What can I do?” “Get lost Nathanson”
But I am glad Jemma was able to help Vijay out. It is a really sweet scene.
“She’s a tool” and you wonder why Aida turned evil other than reading the Darkhold.
“He lost hope” UUGGGHHHHH IMMA GO CRY NOW.
Okay, but Ghost Rider Mack is so BADASS.
“Attagirl” Robbie’s seen what Daisy can do and has been through, so he knows she’s capable of doing some crazy shit.
“I love this car” I feel like that’s every car guy in this show😅
“Oh, I am so thick” yes, Fitz, you are.
So could Aida hear Fitz speaking to her, or is that a decision she made herself?
What’s with Fitz and blaming other people for making decisions to better themselves and the people they care about?
Is it mean to say that I don’t care about Fitzsimmons this episode?
But I do love Coulson being a father figure towards the younger members of the team.
“I can’t help you. Have fun”
Okay, yeah, Aida said she can hear them.
I forget how good this episode is. oh my god!
Hope 4/18/06😭😭
4x08 Laws of Inferno Dynamics
As someone with emetophopia, this puking up diamonds scene makes me super uncomfortable.
“Ignoring the fact that I was mildly attracted to her”
NO DO NOT SEND MAY! THIS IS HOW WE GET INTO ANOTHER MESS!
Mack is just done with people sometimes. Honestly same😅
“I do not like magic. Or clowns. Or clowns with knives… in the dark”
Burning Man™️
Again, SCREW SEASON 5 FOR RUINING DAISY AND ELENA’S FRIENDSHIP!! UGH THEY WERE SO GOOD!
Mack caring for Yo-Yo🥹
Elena worried about losing her favorite jacket😂
“A) I don’t care. B) That wasn’t me”
Always hand it to Elizabeth and Iain to remember all the science jargon, but I wanna know how the writers come up with it all and make it make sense haha.
Everyone just wants to see a freaking nuclear weapon.
Daisy’s teasing again🥹
I JUST REMEMBERED THE MACKELENA KISS IS IN THIS EPISODE OMG IM SO EXCITED!
Surprised this is the first time Daisy notices she can sense a quake coming. Thought it would have been there since she got her powers.
“This is water” “Wow, i’M sO iMpReSsEd”
the CHAINSSSSSS
“Agent Coulson, you should be dead” “Yeah, I get that a lot”
Sorry, Eli. Laws of Nature was a last season episode.
Oh look, for one, THEY’RE ACTUALLY CARING ABOUT DAISY’S HEALTH!!!
THIS FIGHT SCENE WITH MACE IN THE SUIT AND ELENA COMING IN AND CHANGING THINGS!!!
Okay, now, WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OKAY TO PROGRAM AIDA TO BLEED AND EXPERIENCE PAIN?!?!?!
And of course, Daisy lands right in front of the press.
“Maybe in the comic book version”🤣
MACKELENA KISS MACKELENA KISS MACKELENA KISS AHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHHHH!!!!
And Daisy and Coulson 100% saw that.
Well, RIP Nathanson.
And hello, LMD May.
And there goes that bottle of Haig
#samrewatchesshield#aos rewatch#agents of shield#aos#aos season 4#aos season 4a#aos 4x01#aos 4x02#aos 4x03#aos 4x04#aos 4x05#aos 4x06#aos 4x07#aos 4x08#daisy johnson#quake#robbie reyes#ghost rider#melinda may#phil coulson#alphonso mackenzie#elena rodriguez#mackelena#anti leo fitz#critical jemma simmons#anti fitzsimmons
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i guess i'm just a bit confused why pat and pran would be squabbling the way they do when they meet for the first time since pran left in ep 1. obviously, to the first time viewer it's to establish the characters, their dynamic, and the world they live in. but on rewatch, i'm always confused why they would be doing that. the timeline of bad buddy (from what i can recall) is competitors since birth, secret friends both at home and at school, join the same music club and become greater friends, join the talent show and get found out by parents, ripped apart and pran is sent off. that's the timeline up until the first ep, leaving out a few details that i'm about to get into.
as a whole, pat and pran are being punished. they're being punished in multiple ways, dissaya is punishing both pat and pran in different ways. pran is being punished for getting close to the enemy, to her enemy (specifically enemy's offspring, but i'm sure anything related to ming is The Enemy). pran is being punished for being the enemy, and another way of getting revenge on ming. but she is also protecting pran from the enemy in a way that she might have wished someone did for her.
so when do pat and pran's attitudes change? did they ever change? these are my questions that i'm going to attempt to feel out and recall as i go along.
pran, who harbors secret feelings for pat, would have been heartbroken to leave, and would have been even more hurt because of the reason. by tearing them apart, dissaya is reaffirming that pran's feelings are ones that are bad, and wrong to have. it is wrong to want to be close to pat because he is the enemy, all that is bad. stripped of any outside support, pran who is alone could have fallen into the trappings of dissaya's beliefs. they say you start to believe what you say about yourself, and pran could have definitely taken on the role as good son. but he doesn't fall for it too much, because throughout the first ep we still see him react to his own feelings when pat is near, just not the stereotypical bl way (reacting to pat sitting on his bed, reacting to pat seeing him shirtless in the window, etc etc). they also say it only takes about 4-6 months to form a habit. pran who was away could have fallen into the routine of being what his parents wanted him to be and now he's acting that out. i say that because high school pran has a softer exterior in comparison to the college pran we see in the first episode. pran had enough time alone to develop an outside shell. the tough fighter reputation he has in the first ep could be a part of that outside shell as well. conclusion for pran: he changed because he had to survive, but high school him survived within the shell he built, which is the point of developing a hard exterior; to preserve and safeguard everything that is tender inside of you.
pat's turn. all that pat wants to do is make his father proud of him, to live up to his expectations. pat does so. pat fulfills every expectation of ming's throughout high school that mean defending his honor, his father's ego. pran damages ming's ego, because the very existence of dissaya near his life threatens the very thin ice that ming's ego relies on. ming depends on his own pretend hatred to coddle his regrets so they don't eat him alive. pran is an active threat to ming, but pat wants a friend out of pran. ming can't make him hate pran, you can't really trick kids the same way you adults. so ming goes for the family as a whole. "pran's family stole a beloved worker of ours! what cheats!" this won't make pat hate pran but it will leave an impression. pat is left with that bad taste in his mouth, up until pran saves pa. after, he wants to return the favor (that deserve it's own analysis) and gives back his watch; when he possibly could have stolen the watch because pran's family stole their worker. why should he give it back when they're a bunch of stealers themselves? if pat was a different person, he easily could have fallen for that thought process. but he didn't. pat and pran become unlikely friends, meeting and talking in secret. pat continues to fulfill ming's expectations. they get to high school, still friends and becoming even better friends. pat is noticeably kind to pran, who is thought of as the quiet kid, and goes above and beyond to care for him in the way he is taught to care for others as a man (again, deserves another analysis). pat has gained a very good friend, one he can freely fool around with, not worry about living up to expectations. they join the show together and are found out.
pat at this stage is a bighearted, emotionally clumsy guy who is skirting by on the role of fulfilling his dad's ego, but he has lost an important friendship. a friendship that was defined by his father's hatred, but also one that blossomed because of it. they found each other because of that hatred, and enjoyed everything about their relationship that wasn't defined by it. it's also a friendship pat was told is worthless to begin with. when pran left, pat tried desperately to return pran's guitar to him, attempting to resolve any last part of their relationship, because resolve was all they had to work with. he failed. pat was now alone. he had friends, he had his family, his sister, but not the contradictory ease that he had with pran. i think pat found it easy to be around pran because he understood. it's the same relationship gay people have with other gay people, the same relationship trans people have with other trans people. no matter where we are, there's less of a boundary to jump over when we find each other. the base understanding of the two are instantly understood without being explained, all that is left to develop is the dynamic. they had that dynamic, that very easy dynamic; at least for pat. essentially alone, pat still has the consistent domineering figure that is ming, waiting to control pat's self image and actions. pat easily slips back into this role, mindlessly going through the motions to do what he thinks he should want, what he has been told he should want. pat should make ming proud as the first born male, and he does. but pat is not ming, no matter how much he is compared to him throughout schooling. pat has an incredibly soft center and it's slowly brought back out as pran returns.
i think pat didn't change, because he didn't have a good enough reason to change yet. pran changed long before, but evolved for safety. bad buddy is a story of pat learning that change is imminent, and pran learning that safety will only provide life for so long
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I think a lot about how US-centrism is a really big thing, and something we USians commit whether we are conscious of it or not -- because, quite frankly, no matter how much we proclaim to dislike our country or want it to change, or straight up just want to leave it behind, it's already been deeply intertwined into our personalities.
But there's also that other factor where when it comes to fandom, we end up writing AUs set in the USA, because, well...that's still our home? That's what we're familiar with? So of course I want to play around and reimagine WangXian as diaspora Chinese growing up in New York, just like me. I think it'd be really funny to reimagine Arno as an exchange student who has to deal with NYU kids out here (I pity the man, NYU is an elitist nightmare). And if Tumblr is a US-based site, where most of us end up gathering, that's just math, right? There are going to be a lot of USians here writing about our experiences in this country, because they're the things that immediately affect us the most.
I don't think it's inherently bad to want to reimagine characters in the world we personally live in, but we do have to ask ourselves some hard questions about why we want to take these characters and put them in a setting that we are comfortable with. Would we appreciate them all the same if they were in a setting unfamiliar to us?
And if we were on a non-American site doing the same thing, and the people on that site got mad at us, how would we react? We have to be honest with ourselves.
Also, HUGE disclaimer:
This is not permission to whitewash characters.
If you're writing an AU with characters of non-American origin, do your research on their cultural norms.
Also, the USA is the "melting pot" or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, right. So is this character going to be an immigrant, a tourist, a tenth-generation American, or a second-generation American from another country's diaspora?
*Or are they Indigenous? In which case, what nation are they from, did they grow up on the rez, elsewhere, and what relationship do they have with their family and identity?
We should still think outside of our country. Realizing and acknowledging that we are raised to be ignorant of the world, and that our country holds a cultural Monopoly (i.e. our fucking media and entertainment are EVERYWHERE, and my roommate from Vietnam knows iCarly as well as I do, and I know someone from Nigeria who grew up on Johnny Bravo, just to name a few examples) are only the first step. We need to deprogram and see the rest of the world as a place that exists outside of us while still being affected by just how sprawling our influence is.
My personal experience:
I'm an immigrants' kid who grew up among other immigrants' kids in New York (note, I say "immigrants' kid," meaning I am explicitly not saying we immigrated, only that our parents did. People assume I came here just because I'm not white, which is some racist bullshit).
I have lived on other continents.
MDZS is easy for me because it's my culture. I've written them as diaspora Gen Z kids, Chinese people who grew up in mainland cities I'm familiar with, and in the canon Ye Olde China (Tang-dynasty-ish, but also a Ming-dynasty AU) setting.
I write French Frye in modern-day Paris and London very easily because as a USian, we're taught that "world history" is just "Western and Central European history." We're a Eurocentric society. Also, I've been in those cities and know people from there.
I struggle with writing Ratohnhaké:ton even though he is literally Indigenous to the land I grew up on (Kanien'kéha:ka were from upstate New York, just a day's drive from me, before colonization forced them to move further north). As a USian, that means I was taught the colonizers' attitude towards Indigenous folks, and despite all my research and talks with Indigenous folks to learn to be better, I will eventually trip up and accidentally say something racist or culturally offensive.
This isn't going to stop me from writing fanfic about him, but I'm gonna do my due diligence and consider the circumstances he would be in in a modern AU.
Yes, I want to write a modern-day AU where he goes to China and trains with Shao Jun, because I'm Chinese and I think that would be neat.
When I read modern AU MDZS fanfiction, I can tell who's not Chinese when I read about WangXian living in a house in China. I cannot emphasize how different the apartment-to-house ratio in most major Chinese cities is from the USA. I don't find it offensive, it's just a really strong tell.
If you're writing an AU set in NYC and there isn't a single "yerrrr" in it, you've already outed yourself (this is a joke).
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First Day | Ming Chapter
Yerim and Dino’s first day of high school and the members help her get ready.
March, 2015
“Wake up, it’s time for school.” Ming immediately turned around, hearing the words.
The person who had been trying to wake her up, started slightly shaking her.
She whined. “Stop, don’t do that.” She opened her eyes and was met with Jun’s face close to hers.
“It’s time to go to school!” He told his member, excitedly. Too excited, in Ming’s opinion.
She pouted at him. “Why are you so happy? I don’t want to go.” She whined again.
“Yerim-ah!! It’s your first day of high school! You’re growing up too fast.” Soonyoung bursted in the room, yelling at the girl.
He was surprised seeing her still in bed. “Why are you still in bed? Chan’s already eating breakfast, come on.” He urged her.
Ming gave a loud sigh, before dragging herself out of bed.
She made her way to the joint wardrobe. Her school uniform was hanging there, fully clean and ready to be worn.
The day prior, Ming’s grandmother had come all the way from Daegu, to bring the freshly ironed uniform. Ming was happy to have seen her grandmother before the big day.
“Yerim-ah, stop daydreaming and get ready.” Jeonghan scolded her.
She just nodded at him and started getting herself ready.
While she was brushing her hair in the bathroom, Jeonghan joined her again.
“You don’t have to be nervous, it’s going to be okay.” He reassured her.
Again, she just nodded at him. Too tired and perhaps too nervous to hold a full conversation.
She looked at her hair for a second, before turning to Jeonghan. “Can you braid my hair? I don’t like how I do it.” She asked him.
He contemplated teasing her, but chose not to do it. He could see how nervous the poor girl was and didn’t want to make it worse for her.
“Of course.”
She gave him her hair tie. “Thank you.”
He divided her hair into three sections and started braiding. Once he was done, he gave her a quick back hug and told her to go eat breakfast with Chan.
“Go join your brother!” He had told her, while leaving the bathroom.
Ming arrived in the kitchen and took the seat in between Chan and Dokyeom and in front of Seungcheol. Mingyu and Seungkwan were eating their breakfast of the counter.
“Good morning, everyone.” She greeted the members.
The leader didn’t look impressed with her. “Finally.” He just said.
She simply glared at him.
“Yah! Kim Yerim, don’t give me attitude already.” He scolded her, on the more joking side though.
Before she could say anything back, Chan spoke. “MingMing-ie, here, have some French toast. Shua-hyung made it.” He told her, laying a piece of toast on her plate.
She wasn’t too hungry, so she didn’t put anything on the toast. Because of the nerves, she couldn’t eat.
Some of the members noticed. “Yerim-ie, you should eat more. Otherwise, you’ll get cranky.” Mingyu told her.
Seungkwan turned to the girl. “Have you taken your vitamins? I left them next to your bed.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t see them, sorry. I’ll take them later.”
“You should take them now, you’ll need a lot of energy for school.” He advised her.
She didn’t respond to him, focusing her attention on the lonely piece of toast in front of her.
Seungcheol had been observing the girl, the moment she walked in. Just like Jeonghan, he saw how nervous she was.
“Why are you so nervous, Yerim-ie?” He asked her.
She still looked down at her toast. She shrugged, not wanting to talk about it.
“It’s going to be fun, it’s a good school, you should be happy.” He continued, trying to comfort her.
Next to her, Dokyeom put his hand on her shoulder. “Yeah, Jihoon-hyung even went there, you’re going to be like him, isn’t that cool?”
Seungcheol nodded at his words. “Yeah, you’re going to be cool like Jihoon-ah!”
The man in question walked in the kitchen, upon hearing is name.
“What’s that about me?” He asked.
“Yerim-ah is nervous to go to school and they’re telling her she’s going to be like you if she goes.” Mingyu explains to him.
Jihoon turned to the girl, who’s still looking at her untouched piece of toast.
He sighed. “It’s okay to be nervous, Ming-ah. But it’s a nice school, you’re gonna do well there.” He told the girl.
She looked up at his words, giving him a smile. She appreciated his words.
“If you want I’ll walk you there?” Jihoon suggested.
“That’s okay, Jeonghan-oppa is already taking me.” She declined.
He nodded, taking a piece of toast and walking out of the kitchen.
Dokyeom got up from his seat. “Come on guys, our bus is coming soon.”
Mingyu, Seungkwan and Chan quickly emptied their plates and walked to the hall, to go put on their shoes.
Ming had a different starting hour, than the other members, so she had a bit of extra time.
In front of her, Seungcheol sighed. “Eat a piece of toast and tell me what’s on your mind.” He told her.
She listened to him, taking a couple of bites and drinking her juice.
“Oppa, I really don’t want to go.” Her desperate tone surprised him.
He gave her a sad smile. “What’s going on? You’re scaring me a little bit.”
She hesitated, she was a bit embarrassed by it. “I don’t know anyone there, and you know it’s hard for me to approach people. What if other people don’t talk to me and I don’t make any friends? What if people don’t like me?” She rambled on.
“Why can’t I just stay here at the dorm? Like Hansol-oppa, he doesn’t go to school and no one has a problem with it. But when I don’t want to go to school, I get scolded by everyone.” She finished, with a pout on her face.
Seungcheol got up from his seat and took the one where Chan previously sat. He put his arm around the girl and kissed her head.
He squeezed her shoulder. “I know you have a hard time with it. You don’t have to worry about making friends on your first day. You’re going to spent a lot of time with your classmates and once you’re more comfortable, it might become easier to talk to them,” he comforted her.
“It also took you a while to become friends with our members, but now you’re very close with them, right?” He looked at her. She nodded at him, understanding what he was saying.
He hugged her. “See, it’s going to be fine.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him, truly meaning it this time.
He pointed at her plate. “Finish it, I’ll get Jeonghan.”
Right as she finished her toast and glass of juice, Jeonghan walked in with her shoes.
“Put them on and we’ll leave.” He instructed her.
While putting on her shoes, Jun walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and pulled out a lunch box.
He placed the lunch box on the table. “I made you lunch. I put in some extra snacks, so you can share them with your classmates and maybe make some friends.” He explained to her.
“Oh, that’s so sweet, thank you.” She took the lunch box and put it in her bag.
Jun patted her head and walked away.
Ming got up as well and made her way to the hall, knowing Jeonghan would be waiting there for her.
She was right. Jeonghan was talking to Joshua and Seungcheol while waiting for Ming to put her shoes on.
“Here she is, ready?” He asked her, while stretching out his hand for her.
She nodded and took his hand.
Joshua quickly hugged her goodbye and wished her good luck.
She turned to Seungcheol who did the same thing. “Tell us if someone is mean to you, alright?”
She rolled her eyes, but nodded.
“Good, and don’t worry too much. Before you know it, you’re back at the dorm.” He told her.
She and Jeonghan bid them goodbye, and they were on their way to Hanlim.
The whole way, they talked about everything but school. Something Ming appreciated a lot, it was a nice distraction.
Eventually, they made it to her new high school.
Jeonghan put both his hands on each of her shoulders. “Now remember, be kind to everyone and listen well to your teachers. If anything happens, you tell me later alright? I’ll be here to pick you up.” He told her, very seriously.
She smiled and nodded. “Yes.”
He smiled back at her. “Good, now go in. Make sure you’re not late.” He slightly pushed her forward, towards the entrance of the school.
“Okay, see you later.” She waved at him. She kept turning around until she couldn’t see him anymore.
She took a big breath and made her way to her classroom.
—————
They didn’t let her see it, but most of the members were very worried about Ming’s first day.
Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Jun, Wonwoo, Soonyoung, Dokyeom and Seungkwan were probably the most worried ones. It wasn’t just the fact that Ming’s social skills hadn’t improved, they were more worried about the people she was going to go to school with.
Ming is a very kind girl, sometimes too kind for her own good. They didn’t want anyone taking advantage of that.
Joshua, Jihoon, Minghao, Mingyu and Hansol were also a bit worried, but just not as the other members. They knew eventually she would be okay and would make some friends.
Jihoon also went to that school and he liked his high school experience, so he was convinced Ming would be fine.
And Chan was honestly too nervous himself, to think about Ming. It was his first day as well. The both of them were sad, they weren’t going to the same school.
As Ming and Chan were experiencing their first day of high school, their members waited patiently for them. Hoping everything went well for them.
Taglist: @lunarxsun @cosmicwintr @mythicalamphitrite
#ming.svt#14th member of seventeen#seventeen 14th member#seventeen female member#seventeen x reader#seventeen oc#kpop addition#kpop oc#kpop au#seventeen addition#seventeen female addition#scoups x reader#jeonghan x reader#jun x reader#seventeen
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Hua cheng make brain go brrrrr
People who say Hua Cheng has no depth just don’t get it. Do I wish more than anything that mxtx kept his backstory? Yes. But his narrative function is to be a mysterious bad boy love interest and as a fellow writer and lazy person I somewhat under why she didn’t. Part of what makes him interesting is just how much we don’t know, and the significance of all that we do.
Yes, he is inextricably tied to Xie Lian, as a person and a character. But Xie Lian didn’t ask him to tear his eye out to protect humans. Xie Lian didn’t ask him to found Ghost City or take in persecuted ghosts. Xie Lian certainly didn’t ask him to befriend/ally himself with He Xuan.
And he flat out fucking lies to Xie Lian on several occasions, for the benefit of not only Xie Lian but He Xuan as well. If he could, he could easily kill He Xuan; it’s almost shocking that he doesn’t just tell Xie Lian what his plans are to begin with. He could easily have told Xie Lian to keep Shi Qingxuan away from ‘Ming Yi.’ He could have done the usual protective bad boy thing and forbidden Xie Lian from helping his friend. But he doesn’t. Because on one level, he understands that He Xuan is useful to him as an ally, possibly friend, and narrative foil (who knows how genre aware he is; he’s practically omniscient as is).
What I mean is that Hua Cheng, born from love, understands that He Xuan, born from hate, is who he could have been without Xie Lian. So yes, it’s about Xie Lian, but it’s not only about Xie Lian. It extends beyond the bounds of who Xie Lian is, and into who Hua Cheng is because of Xie Lian.
He also realizes and respects that He Xuan is the only other calamity and one of the few gods who hasn’t directly or indirectly hurt Xie Lian; until the black water arc, when he realizes just how self-sacrificial Xie Lian is and just how stubborn and vindictive He Xuan is. And he beats his ass several times for it.
But returning to Xie Lian, as we must do when discussing Hua Cheng (by his own volition), he understands that for Xie Lian’s mental and emotional well being and for his trauma response, he HAS to help his friend. (There’s quite likely some guilt about Wu Ming driving Xie Lian as well, whether Hua Cheng realizes this or not. If he does, he’s certainly upset with himself for retroactively hurting him. Much to think about.)
He loves Xie Lian for his kindness and his selflessness, but he hates his self harm. And these two things can exist in tandem. He doesn’t ask Xie Lian to stop being kind or to stop being selfless, he doesn’t forbid him from helping Shi Qingxuan, but he does gently beg him not to hurt himself and not to act like his pain doesn’t matter or is funny. He encourages Xie Lian, who at this point has no face left to spare and sees himself as a laughingstock and failure, not to mention morally reprehensible, to continue doing what he wants to do, that what he wants to do is the right thing — as long as it isn’t self harm. So he tells Xie Lian that his benefit matters too, that his pain matters and that he doesn’t deserve it and shouldn’t prolong it (ie, continue running with a nail in his foot or stab himself to perform pseudo mpreg ghost abortion on himself).
Bear in mind that Hua Cheng has witnessed Xie Lian being stabbed for others’ benefit well over one hundred times, two of which by his own hand. So it’s traumatic for him too. He’d much rather be stabbed himself. “To see with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet unable to do anything, is the worst pain in the world.”
Ironically, while Xie Lian’s blithe attitude towards his pain is agony for Hua Cheng, he’s particularly ignorant of his own (he downgrades ripping his eye out and acts nonchalant about using all of his spiritual energy for Xie Lian). For him, the emotional pain of watching Xie Lian suffer is worse than any physical pain. “If your dream is to save the common people, then my dream is only you.” From this quote and most of his actions, one gets the sense that while Xie Lian’s savior complex is utilitarian*, Hua Cheng’s is fixated solely on Xie Lian. Yet he saved the humans in Mount Tonglu, and he takes in stray ghosts. So his savior complex is rather more of a categorical imperative*; that is, if Xie Lian would save these people, I must save these people. But there’s still a Wu Ming inside of him who knows the Xie Lian who would not save someone undeserving, so it isn’t utilitarian but conditional of them not harming Xie Lian.
So who is Hua Cheng? He’s his most devoted believer. But with any religious fervor comes sacraments. Kindness, in his case conditional to his god’s. Self sacrifice, to honor his god’s. A quick wit, a formidable opponent with the saber. Hua Cheng is anything that can be useful to Xie Lian.
“Flower City,” he names himself. Flower, for Xie Lian’s pseudonym given for his kindness. City, a fortress for protection, a place of humanity and a place of worship. Yet, to Xie Lian he becomes San Lang. All others must bear witness to his heathen worship, but Xie Lian knows him the way a god is said to know the devout; wholly, lovingly, benevolently, unconditionally.
*utilitarian - in ethical philosophy, a system of ethics that aims for the least harm/greatest quantity/quality of benefit
*categorical imperitave - in kantian ethics, a maxim that must be followed universally on principle
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What do you think about Day feeling uncomfortable in his own house since the accident? His mother is at home very often but their relationship worsened. His brother is now more of a guardian. They try to spend as much time with him as they can, but he doesn't feel support, he feel control? After Mork started working for them, Day once asked him to take him to Mork's house (which I assume is connected to the workshop where he repairs cars) and they both knew Day's mother won't like the idea, so in the evening they just went for a walk and came to spend the night at Mork's place (even though Mork was against the idea, feeling responsibility and not wanting to worse relationship with Day's mother but. Day could ask anything and he would try to do it for him and this was basically nothing. So he called Day's mother and pretended they stopped at his place because it was late in the evening and Day was tired). Mork led him by the hand and put his palm on different objects, letting him feel. He sat Day down on his bed, gave him clothes to change into. Maybe they had sex their for the first time, because there was no one else here, just the two of them (insert image of Day lifting up Mork's tshirt and pressing it to his face and Mork standing there not knowing what to do, until Day decided that the next step should be him pressing his face against Mork's neck). Idk what that is, just stray headcanon
IN THIS HOUSE WE DEEPLY APPRECIATE EVERY KIND OF HEADCANONS, STRAY OR OTHERWISE, SO DON'T YOU WORRY ANON
i actually hope that you don't mind if i ramble a little here (she says as if that ever stopped her before), but you brought up something that i've been thinking about a lot these days, which is day's relationship with his family and his house. we're seeing this same topic being handled in heart's storyline in moonlight chicken and i think it's interesting how we can already infer some differences and similarities between the two (assuming that p'aof isn't gonna change things too drastically from the last twilight mock trailer): if heart's parents are neglecting and abandoning him in an empty house, day's mom and brother seem to be overprotective and reluctant to leave him alone. both families' attitudes are wrong because they fail to look past the disability itself and to still treat heart and day as whole, complete people with hopes and dreams, which only ends up alienating them from the world
heart and day, however, start the story in two very different places: heart's incident was three years ago and in this time he has come to consider the house almost like a prison, but day's incident only just happened and for him the house is the only safe place left. in the trailer, day's mom says that "day has been staying only in the house since the accident", which - unlike in heart's case - seems to be his own choice that his mom fully endorses. li ming and mork represent the outside world bursting inside and reaching out to them, but while heart readily accepts the hand he's being offered, day is more reluctant to do so, and i think it's gonna be incredibly interesting to see day slowly change, because eventually it WILL happen, eventually day is gonna want to go outside and experience new things, and i don't think his family will be very happy about it. that's when, like you said, the house is gonna turn from a place of safety to a place of confinement and his family will start to feel more like they are his keepers
and now excuse me for a second as I GO WANDER THE STREETS AT NIGHT TO HOWL AT THE MOON BECAUSE I'VE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE IDEA OF DAY GOING TO MORK'S APARTMENT!!!!!! like.. idk there's something to be said about mork constantly being at day's house and filling the place with his own presence and finally allowing day to be in mork's own space too. and i also love the idea of mork being hesitant at first because like you said he knows mork's mom wouldn't be happy about it, but also because he thinks his apartment isn't much compared to day's house: it's small and kinda dusty and there's a mess everywhere, but i like to think that day would just smile and joke about it by saying "well, it's not like i will be able to tell anyway." so mork takes him there and it turns out that day LOVES the place because unlike his own house, which smells like cleaning products and air freshener and the only sounds you can hear come from the wind going through the branches and the chirping of the birds outside, mork's apartment is full of life. there are so many different scents he can pick up - the faint traces of motor oil coming from the garage below, the stir fry meat mork ate for lunch still lingering in the air, the fresh laundry coming from the bathroom, the cigarette smoke that seeped into the walls - and even with the windows closed he can hear people talking in the streets
and then mork guiding day's hands around the place (SCREAMING SHAKING CRYING THROWING UP BTW) so he can feel everything under his fingers while mork tells him stories about each item day touches: some ugly knick knack namtan's character gave to him as a joke for his birthday, his old DVD collection, a picture of his family.... AND OKAY I NEED TO STOP NOW BECAUSE THIS IS ALREADY WAY TOO LONG BUT THE TWO OF THEM HAVING SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME AT MORK'S APARTMENT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BECAUSE THERE'S WHERE DAY IS GONNA START FEELING LIKE HIMSELF AGAIN AND I THINK I NEED TO BE SEDATED NOW THANKS
#JUST HAVING A VERY NORMAL ONE AS USUAL HOW ARE Y'ALL DOING#okay but you know what else i like? the idea of day becoming a constant presence in mork's garage#and mork being like 'if you're gonna stay here then you can at least help me'#so he makes day touch all the tools in his box and teaches him the name of each one and describes them in details#so he can ask day to pass them to him while he's working#the first time namtan's character walks in to that she just looks at mork and goes like 'wow. you got it worse than i thought'#and then one day mork's debt collectors show up#me beating my brain up with a stick: ENOUGH#last twilight#morkday#m: ask
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