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southeastasiadiary · 7 months

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Day Twenty-Eight: All Good Things Must Come to an End; Final Thoughts

The itinerary for this last day was to include a visit to the Jim Thompson House and then my transfer to the airport for the flight home. But since I’d already visited the Jim Thompson House on the day I arrived in Bangkok, I had the entire day to myself.

So, I decided to divide it (like Caesar's Gaul) into three parts. First thing in the morning, while it was still cool (or more accurately, when it was only blazingly hot but not to the point where it would cause you to combust spontaneously), I decided to take a stroll around Bangkok’s Chinatown because my hotel was right in the middle of it.

Here is about one minute of a three-minute stroll through the morning market:

If you want to see the full three-minute clip, you’ll need to go to shared photo album. I’m delighted to bring you the sights and sounds out this market, but not (fortunately or not) the aromas.

Of course, what Chinatown would be complete without a Mister Hotdog directly across the street from a Texas Suki and a shop selling “Authentic Chinese Cuisine”?

And it’s always nice to be reminded that “We are a part of your delicious.”

In my walk, I chanced upon a small neighborhood shrine

that was complete with gifts, which had just been brought there by people on their way to work that morning.

Then, a bit later, I saw this lovely statue of Confucius

and a singularly elegant spirit house with a prang on top.

The non-random part of my walk was my one pre-determined destination: the Wat Traimit,

Temple of the Golden Buddha.

Now perhaps, if you’ve been keeping up with this blog, this must be a temple of a golden Buddha since you've already seem more than your fair share of golden Buddhas. Ah, but here’s the difference. All the other golden Buddhas were made of other materials and then covered with gold leaf. This particular Buddha is solid gold, 15’9” high and 12’5” wide, weighing 5.5 tons … of solid gold. In times of invasion, the statue was covered with plaster so that it would look less valuable than it was.

In time, since the statue looked as though it was merely made of plaster, people forgot what was inside. Only in 1955, when there were plans to move the statue from another site to here at the Wat Traimit, did some of the plaster fall off, and it became clear that underneath a shallow façade was a virtual mountain of gold.

And today, if you like, you can buy a pre-packaged bottle of holy water at the temple for only twenty baht.

After visiting the Golden Buddha, I returned to the hotel for breakfast, a shower, and a brief rest before checking out.

The second part of the day has not yet occurred, but I need to post this entry now while I have access to the Internet. Since I’ve yet to experience Thai massage or, for that matter, any massage in Southeast Asia, I've booked a few hours in a spa this afternoon between my check-out time and my departure for the airport. Thai massage is one of the things that people often talk about after visiting Bangkok, and I have a few empty hours on my hands, so …

When booking the appointment I told them that my spa visit would occur shortly before a thirty-hour flight back home, so I wanted to feel “clean and refreshed but also relaxed.” They assured me they have “just the thing.” (When do businesses not have “just the thing” when you make an inquiry?) I'll be in for a body cleanse and scrub, followed by a gentle aromatherapy massage.

We’ll see how that goes. If you truly want to know, ask me in person sometime.

Now, the third part of my day will be to engage in a bit of post-trip reflection. And I've already given that topic a lot of thought during my walkabout this morning. So, here goes.

This experience in Southeast Asia was one of my long-term goals. You might even say it was a life goal. At least, it was something I'd talked about for years and felt I absolutely needed to do. So, life goal accomplished!

But here's the funny thing about life goals. Once you achieve them, you have mixed feelings. On the one hand, there's a major sense of accomplishment. On the other, it feels as though a milestone in life has now past, and you wonder whether there will ever be other goals that you’ll long for quite that much. Not to exaggerate, but it feels as though a part of your life is now over and that you’ve passed one more signpost on the road toward mortality.

I remind myself that I’d had similar feelings before. When I was very young, my life goal had been to get a Ph.D. and become a college professor. (Seriously. I remember telling people this as early as fifth grade.) Then, when I was 26 and had achieved that goal, I thought, “Well, now what?”

Other goals came along, of course. There was a period when, if people asked whether I had a “bucket list,” I’d say, “I want to do three things. See the pyramids in Egypt, visit Kyoto, and attend the Wagner festival at Bayreuth.” Then, by a strange turn of fate, I did all three of those things within the same six-month period and again thought, “Now what?”

But there was always that Southeast Asia trip left for me to plan. So, now it's over. Okay, now what?

The honest answer is “I don’t know” but also “I’m sure I’ll think of something. I always have.”

As this trip comes to an end, I find myself reminded of that article I mentioned on Day Nine: “The Case Against Travel.” The author’s argument was that people always say they travel because travel changes them, but everyone returns from a trip no different from the person they were before setting out.

So, am I the same person I was before this trip?

Absolutely.

But I don’t really think that’s the point. Certainly, there can be zen-like, blinding flashes of insight during a trip, like a flash of gold appearing from beneath a thin façade of plaster. I already mentioned once being in Rome and realizing, “Oh! That’s what Horace meant in his poetry!” and never seeing his works in the same way again. But those experiences are rare.

More often, travel changes you slowly over time. You don’t see those changes in a single day, a single week, or even a single year. Rather it’s like the slow polishing of a stone into a statue. It takes time. It happens almost imperceptibly. And eventually you realize that you actually aren’t the same person you were before. You’ve broadened your perspective, left behind a few assumptions, and made connections between ideas you never would've made before.

That’s a good thing.

No. I'm wrong.

That’s a great thing.

In fact, as far as I’m concerned, it’s one of the best things a person can do.

And I wonder where I’ll go next and how that experience might change me.

I can't wait.

#thailand #bangkok #travel #Wat Traimit #Temple of the Golden Buddha

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moonflower-31 · 2 years

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Pen Pals - Spencer Reid x Reader

Part 2

Part 3

Ongoing!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, normal stuff

Tags: @thatsonezesty13 , @egg-boy03 , @idjitlili , @meowiemari , @meganskane , @lonelyran , @rainsong01 , let me know if I missed you or if you wanna be added to the list!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” - Confucius

“Alright, that should be the last of the paperwork. I’ll get this processed by my superior and then you’ll get to fly out to Stafford and move in.” The man in front of you spoke. His hair was slicked back and his eyes were kind. Making it easier to go through with the simple betrayal you had settled upon. You were moving out. Out of state and away from the farm. And you were taking at least half a year off before going to med school. If you even went at all.

“Thank you for your time, Mr. Yarborough,” You spoke as professionally as you could manage, despite your legs shaking with anxiety. You hadn’t gone out to do something like this on your own since you’d had to apply for college through a computer at the library. Your parents were somewhat anti-tech in your house. The phones were one thing. But to have a computer in the house? Anything beyond basic cable? The devil.

“Of course. Since you’ll be applying to school again within the next year, your monthly rent will be lessened along with your agreement for one to two roomates.” Mr. Yarborough restated, reminding you of the agreement you’d just made. You hardly had any friends, being the loser that you’d been in both highschool and college. So, maybe some forced interaction would bring about something good.

“Thank you again for coming out here. I wish I had reliable internet access but unfortunately, I don’t.” You thank Mr. Yarborough, reaching out and offering him your hand to shake. The man smiled, stood up, and took your hand and shook it firmly.

“Why of course. As your agent I have contacts all across the country for real estate opportunities. Even out in Stafford Virginia.” Yarborough laughed, letting your hand go after a brief moment. “Though I assume that this will be our last meeting, since you’ll be moving in within the next two weeks or so. I wish you luck.”

You smiled warmly, awkwardly fixing your slid blouse sleeve back onto your shoulder as you tried to make it through this seemingly simple interaction. It was uncomfortable, the blouse was too. All the clothes your mother often picked out for you were overly feminine and were supposed to be ‘modest’.

Nevertheless, you let your hand return to your side and fixed the bit of your hair that had fallen into your face. You say your goodbyes as quickly as you could, heading back out to your borrowed car. You put your key into the slot and turn the car on. The engine roars to life, starting the familiar shaking the car always managed to do despite your father’s best attempts to fix it. It was semi calming, allowing you to finally take a deep breath.

You carefully backed out of the line of stores and rumbled onto the road. There was no point in starting the air conditioner or the radio, as neither worked. So you were stuck in the old car, waiting for the light to change. Stuck alone with your thoughts.

Part of you felt absolutely terrible for plotting your move behind your parents’ backs. But the other part of you knew it was necessary. If you didn’t leave the house, let alone the state, you would never have a life of your own. Your parents would control it until they died. Which meant whomever you married had to be a man who was good with his hands. They wouldn’t except anyone else. Gender or otherwise, despite your constant pleadings.

You’d barely even managed to get out of your chores this morning. Your father had been hellbent on you helping with yet another day of harvest, but you’d managed to convince them you were meeting with a guidance counselor for a medical school nearby. That was enough to keep them off your back and allow you to take the family car. Well, the only other car besides your father’s pick up. But that thing was untouchable.

At least you had the good news of your departure to Virginia in a couple of weeks. Soon, you’d be out of the nest and on your own. Finally. With enough allowance and odd-end job money saved up, you were sure you could afford a used car that was big enough to hold all your boxes in one trip. Which wouldn’t be hard since most of what you were taking was going to be books and clothes.

The reality hadn’t set in yet, but you knew it was coming. With your down-payment set in stone for Cresent Pointe Apartments, along with your appointment with a nearby used car dealership within the next week, you’d have a completely different life within the next month.

As the cars in front of you began to move, you took a deep breath, letting your mind wander to other areas of your life. You tried to think of anything you might miss. Anything you might long for once you’d left for good. But the daunting realization hit you with almost a feed-bag’s weight of force: There was nothing you were going to miss here. Nothing. You had no friends. You had no job that was going to miss you. No connections that meant much of anything. Just a college doctorate that you’d be taking with you regardless. It hit you even harder when you realized you weren’t going to miss your parents. You wanted to. But the thought of leaving them didn’t fill you with remorse or brief feelings of doubt for having to go so far. It filled you with dread that they’d find out you’d moved farther than you’d told them and they’d demand that you come home.

You blinked for a moment, mindlessly watching the road and soon turning to drive down the gravel road that would lead you back to your parent’s house within a mile or so. It was noon, meaning the mail would be showing up soon. You’d been trying your hardest to withhold your excitement for the past few days when the mail would arrive. Any hint that you had someone you were talking to that your parents hadn’t met, and you would be instantly grounded and told never to contact him again. They’d probably make you send a goodbye letter too.

But never the less, each day brought the exciting prospect that you could have a new letter to add to your other one. You wondered what he’d say. If he’d answered your questions about what to do. Where he worked. Even if he hadn’t, it was all very exciting.

It was with this excitement that you found yourself driving just a bit faster than you should be, quickly correcting yourself as you turned into your parent’s driveway and parked in the garage. You should’ve checked the mailbox when you’d been at the bottom of the hill, but you had a feeling your mother had the mail. Which slightly made you nervous. But maybe Spencer’s doctor title would ease their concerns. They could assume he was a doctor that worked with the med school you were supposed to be applying to.

You quickly turned the rumbling car off and exited it, heading inside through the garage door. You took your shoes off and placed them beside the door, craning your neck to look for any sign of your mother or the mail. Unluckily for you, you found your mother standing at the dining room table with the mail on said table.

“(Y/N), darling, you’ve got a letter.” Your mother’s voice called, seeming to already know it was you who had just arrived back. So you had gotten a letter, but your mother had it. Shit.

“I did? Oh, well thank you.” You said, hoping your excitement wasn’t bleeding into your voice as you approached her. “Can I have it?” You ask, growing worried when your mother didn’t immediately hand it over.

“It’s from some doctor. His name is Spencer Reid. Have you heard of him?” Your mother asked. “It might be spam mail. I want to be certain before I give it to you, dear.”

You cursed mentally. You knew this would happen. Your little story of Spencer being a teacher or doctor working with some university would have to work.

“Yes I have. H-he’s actually an admissions counselor. He works for OSU.” You say, lying through your teeth. Your mother’s brow furrows, not completely buying your story.

“How is he a counselor for OSU? His address is from Virginia.” Your mother asks, growing wary and suspicious. You had to fix this now. Or otherwise your letter would end up in the trash. And you’d end up grounded for lying.

“W-well, you can be an admissions counselor even if you don’t live in a state where that university resides. All he has to do is send letters and emails. P-promise.” You insist, praying that she’d take the false story and leave it alone.

Your mother looked back at the letter and sighed, shaking her head. “Technology these days. At least this man has the decency to still write hand-written letters.” Your mother scoffed, handing the envelope to you. “If it’s an acceptance letter, let your father and I know.” She then disappeared into the living room with the rest of the mail, leaving you to let out a sigh of relief.

That was way too close.

You stifled a giggle of excitement before you began to head up the stairs to your room. You headed into your room with the letter pressed to your chest, finally letting out a soft giggle as you closed your bedroom door. You rushed to your desk, taking a frenzied seat. You grabbed your letter opener, quickly ripping the envelope open and pulling out the letter that laid inside.

You took a deep breath, wanting to ensure you didn't rip the paper. Gently, you unfolded it and began to read with a smile cemented onto your face.

Hello again. It is a pleasure to hear from you. 26/09/2010

I was worried that my vast education had scared you away. Not many people find geniuses easy to talk to.

To answer your question, I am 28. I will be 29 this coming October. I suppose that should be enough proof that I am indeed not a ten year old. I hope I'm not crossing any boundaries, but may I know when your birthday is?

I am also very happy to have received your letters, however annoying it was at first. My mother signed me up for the penpal program when I was young. Somehow my name wasn’t given to anyone until you. In complete honesty, I’m glad it was you.

It is exciting to receive your first doctorate. Mine was Mathematics, an exciting course in my opinion. However, the more I received, the excitement dwindled. But I suppose that’s what happens when you go through something enough times. It becomes second nature. But don’t let that discourage you from taking another round of classes. It is important to keep learning, even if that information doesn’t come from hour long lectures.

I have an impeccable taste for any old literature from at least before the 20th century. The least technologically advanced, the better. No one seems to understand that, not even my friends. But at least I have my books to keep me company. I’m both surprised and happy to know we both share a love for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It’s hard to find anyone who loves him beyond his obvious works on Sherlock Holmes, however amazing they may be.

I work for the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, or BAU for short. I’m what we call a profiler. We take studied cases of people and behavior clusters to catch serial killers. That, would be how I could figure out how many of Doyle’s books you’ve read, not my memory.

My PhD’s are Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering. Furthermore, my BA’s are in Psychology, Sociology, and most recently, Philosophy. Scared of me yet?

I can’t tell you whether or not to go to med school. It’s a good opportunity, but you shouldn’t do something you don’t want to do. Studies show that choosing a career path that is unfufilling can lead to cases of depression and mental illness later in life. Often causing what people tend to call a ‘Mid-life Crisis’.

My advice is to do what you enjoy. If med school isn’t for you, find another topic or major that interests you. I hear that Chemistry is an easier course than medical school. I do believe you’d be in lab more than you would be if you enrolled in med school. Chemistry, in my opinion, was one of my easier doctorates. So I can most definitely help you, should you go that far.

I can’t give much advice on whether or not to move out of your parents residence. I moved out at 18, although unwillingly. Moving out, early or otherwise, is shown to promote independence, ensure privacy if you choose to live alone, As well as ensure you can talk to and be who you want. You may miss your parents, but it is your life. You should get a say in how it goes.

I wrote a little too much for this one page, so I will have to close for now. I hope to hear from you soon. Don’t take too long to write, I’m eager to find out your decision on your next adventure. :)

Regards,

Spencer Reid

~~~

Since you’ve read his most popular works, Here’s some of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s lesser known works I think you would enjoy.

-The Tragedy of the Korosko

-The Maracot Deep

-Tales of Unease

-The Poison Belt

You giggle with an even bigger burst of excitement. He had written on both sides of the paper! He really got into his advice. It made you wonder if he felt deprived of that ability elsewhere in his life.

But an FBI profiler? Who would’ve thought! No wonder he could guess how you’d snuck a bit of research when you’d visited the library a few days ago. What? You were curious. You thought that he had been the doctor that had been the first name to pop up upon Googling his name and title based on his vocabulary. How lucky were you that you’d gotten a fricking genius as a penpal?!

You smiled at the list of books that Spencer had penned at the very end of his letter. Somehow, he’d managed to pick out the ones you hadn’t read as of yet. Though something told you that was his profiling at work.

His words seemed to resonate with you, reminding you that this life was yours. That no one could dictate what you do. (Other than the law, but some people disregarded that. You guess that’s where Spencer steps in.)

You didn’t have to listen to your parents. Whether they liked it or not you were going to move out. You were 23! Almost 24. It was time you left and started your life. They can’t hold you back anymore. You were no longer a child. The moment you stopped living under their roof was the moment your life would begin. The only reason you’d studied Biology for so long was because you wanted to prolong your time before your parents would expect you to enroll in med school. If that wasn’t any indication that you didn’t want this, then what was?

“(Y/N)? Honey? You’ve been up there a long time. Is it an acceptance letter?”

You jumped at your mother’s sudden voice, taking a slow breath. Maybe it was time you told them. Better to come clean now, than to drop the bomb on them later. You didn’t know what you were going to go back to school for, but it was definitely not going to be med school.

—-----

The jet’s engine had a slow hum that was easy to ignore, but calming to focus on. Spencer leaned his head back against the familiar seat, a book on the table in front of him now long forgotten. The genius had closed his eyes just a moment before, sleep heavy in his eyes. Within the last weeks, the team had been on two back to back cases. One in Atlanta Georgia, and then one in ‘their own backyard’, or Bristol Virginia. The only reason they were even flying back to Quantico was because it would be a five hour drive if they didn’t. A drive Spencer was glad they didn’t take. He hated driving.

The jet’s engine, something Reid had never tried to listen to before, he suddenly found himself analyzing what the different sounds might mean. Whether sounds meant differing movement, or turbulence. Despite his ability to read as quickly as he did, his eyes were tired and the letters had begun to swirl on the page. That had been enough to make him put the book down. No need to get vertigo from a book page, however good the book might've been.

“So, you ever gonna tell us why you’ve been rushing to get home after every case? You got a special friend?” Derek’s voice started up, pulling an subconscious groan from Spencer’s lips. He lifted his head, suddenly realizing with the way the light began to strain at his eyes that he was having one of his headaches. The headache was probably why he couldn’t read without the words doing cartwheels on the pages.

“I don’t have to inform you on every new person in my life, Morgan. I don’t recall you telling me every time you went home with a girl.” Spencer points out with a bit of an edge to his voice. Reid grumbled under his breath as he tried to convince himself to be present, rubbing his eyes free from the sleep that had tried to creep up on him. He grimaced as the throbbing in his head grew sharper, sending a heavy wave of dizziness washing over him. He hung his head lower, hoping to chase away any indications that something was wrong.

“Oh don’t do that, man. I just wanna know if our resident genius has a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. I won’t judge.” Derek spoke again. Spencer held back a groan, although glad to know he had support should he ever find a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend.

If he didn’t look up at Morgan in the next few seconds he’d ask what’s wrong. Then he’d have to formulate a lie to get him to back off. And currently, Spencer did not have the mental capacity to do so after how draining his headaches were.

Slowly, he lifted his head and forced himself to open his eyes, although he immediately squinted upon the introduction of the jet's bright light. “For your information, I don’t. I’m allowed to hang out with friends and it not be a date.” Spencer grumbles, squinting at Morgan. Why must they keep the jet so brightly lit? Especially at night? Couldn't they just dim the lights a little bit?

Morgan’s playful smile slightly fell at Spencer’s squinting, blinking in concern. “Well, I feel a little hurt you didn’t invite me to this 'hang out' of yours. I mean, I invited you out but you turned me down, kid. Brushing me off for somebody else? Kinda makes me think you got a partner.” Derek says, adjusting his seat closest to the window so that he could lay back a bit. He took his headphones in his hands, getting ready to place them around his neck.

“I don’t–” Spencer hissed, biting back the rest of his reply, as he realized the rest of the team had caught wind of their conversation. Seems like whenever it concerned him and his personal life, it was everybody’s business. He sighed, rolling his eyes. He leaned closer to Derek and lowered his voice. “I don’t have a partner, Derek. I didn’t invite you because there wasn’t a hang out to begin with. Some people still write, you know.” Spencer hissed, adding an edge to his voice to give some sort of hint that he was not a fan of this investigation into his personal life.

Derek raised an eyebrow, pausing in his attempt to put his headphones back around his neck. “Write? Like, letters?” He asked curiously. Spencer widened his eyes and closed them with the sudden realization of what he’d just admitted.

"Shit…" Spencer whispered under his breath. Derek’s smile returned brighter than ever, knowing and cheeky, Spencer put his face in his hands, groaning at both the pain and the annoyance that he’d just let his secret out in front of the team.

“Who’s writing letters?” Hotch suddenly asked, turning to look at them from his seat across from them.

“Apparently this ‘friend’ of Reid’s. They communicate through snail mail. That’s like, perfect for you, isn’t it pretty boy?” Morgan answered and teased. Reid let out another soft groan.

“Come on Morgan! I’m allowed to like simple things! It’s refreshing to actually write letters to someone other than my mom.” Reid insisted in a slightly higher pitched tone, his eyes wide as he quickly grew tired of Morgan’s meddling.

“Yeah, but it’s cute, man. So who are they? If they ain’t your partner?” Morgan asked, his teasing only slight. Spencer rolled his eyes, glancing to the other side of the jet to see if he had any back-up. To his dismay, he instead had two interested parties staring back at him in hopes he would figuratively ‘Spill the Beans’. They even had Garcia on the monitor, eyes filled with intrigue.

Spencer looked out the window for a moment and sighed. There was no getting them to let it go. Especially Garcia. “Okay well,” He started, causing everyone to lean closer. “I didn’t plan on it, but apparently my mom signed me up for this… penpal program thing when I was younger. They didn’t give my name out until a few weeks ago. Apparently switching to digital mixed up a few things. They gave it to a woman named (Y/N) (L/N). She contacted me, and I replied. We’ve been exchanging letters since.” Spencer explained, looking between the team for their reactions.

“That… has to be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” Emily spoke, looking from Reid to Rossi.

“You don’t get experiences like that every day. Did you thank your mom?” Rossi asked, his arms resting on his knees as he tries to face the rest of the team.

“Yeah I did.” Spencer replied.

“What’s she like? Is she just as nerdy as you?” Garcia asked, smiling. Suddenly, she gasps and her smile grows even bigger. “Did you want me to look her up for you? I’ll uncover everything! Right down to her favorite color-”

A brief wave of panic runs through him. “No!” He exclaimed suddenly. The team looks at him bewildered, causing a pit of anxiety to slowly form in his stomach.

“I-I want to find out more through her letters, Garcia. Not by an internet search.” He paused, taking a deep breath, finding himself smiling. “I don’t know her favorite color yet. Maybe that’s what I should ask next.”

Morgan smiled. “Atta boy. Takin’ it slow.” Spencer smiled back, relieved Morgan didn’t say more. Although he was slightly miffed that Morgan insinuated that they were actually long distance lovers.

“Alright, Junior G Man. Just know she’s just a click away.” Garcia reminds, her face lit up with a mischievous wonder. Reid turned his face away, finding himself unable to hide his smile.

“Does that mean you’re not gonna tell us about her?” Rossi spoke, looking back at the genius. Reid looked back towards the team with a smirk forming on his face that he tried to fight. He waits a long moment, making a face of consideration.

“Well? Come on kid, don’t leave us hanging.” Morgan spoke up. Reid further held back a knowing smile as he finally opened his mouth to reply.

“Sure, I'll tell you everything–" Spencer teased, rolling his eyes playfully. "No! Did you really think I was going to share her information with you when you just offered to snoop into her life for me? Heck no!” Spencer laughed again. “I’m allowed some secrets of my own, you guys.” Reid teased, causing the rest of the team to collectively groan in disappointment.

Hotch smiled softly for a moment, laughing. “I think it’s safe to say he’s not going to tell us any time soon.”

"Though there is room to hope you'll tell us one day, right Reid?" Emily asked.

Spencer chuckled. "One day, key word."

Spencer’s laugh slowly dies, his eyes still creased with joy as the team turns back to their activities. His smile remained on his face, glad to have finally gotten some payback for the years of playful teasing.

As Reid felt his laughter settle, he found that the thought of (Y/N) still left him with a fondness that he couldn’t quite explain. It couldn’t be what Morgan was insinuating.

Sure, Reid had partners before. Mostly girlfriends, but either way they didn’t last long. The relationships often ended on the other end, and often due to elements of his life. His job, education, PhDs, etc. Some of it was too daunting. Some of it was too time consuming. So he had closed off the idea of a partner, man or woman. If the opportunity arose, then he’d consider it. He found himself comfortable in his single life.

But this feeling… This feeling was different.

Reid decided to look back to his book, surprising himself when he didn’t feel his headache anymore. Scratch that, he did feel it, but not as strongly as before.

Guess that’s why distraction can be seen as a treatment, Spencer thought to himself. But it still doesn’t treat the base problem.

Reid let himself take a deep breath, feeling his chest rise and fall. They would be landing soon. Probably within the next hour or so. Maybe when he returned, he’d have a letter waiting for him in his mailbox. At least, he hoped so.

A jolt of excitement hit his chest. Only, it felt like it was something more. Then he suddenly felt a pang of panic follow suit.

No. He didn’t feel any sort of attraction to (Y/N). He just saw her as a friend. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d ever see her in person. The odds of that happening with (Y/N) living in Ohio, and him in Virginia, were slim.

Better to douse the embers now, before it erupts into an all-consuming fire that he can no longer control. Feelings were a territory unknown to Spencer. And they terrified him.

—-----

Once again, Reid found himself groggily walking up his stairs rather than taking the elevator. However tired he was, he’d always take the stairs if he could help it. Not that he was afraid of elevators… He just preferred to avoid them after his and Morgan’s instance with the malfunctioning elevator.

Nevertheless, Reid managed to arrive at his door with exhaustion as his only company. He had his mail gripped in his hand in a tight hold while he carried his messenger bag on his shoulder. He carried his go-bag in his other hand, setting it down momentarily to unlock the door. He hadn’t even stopped to check the stack for the familiar envelope.

Once the door was open, Reid picked his bag up off the floor and carried it inside. He began his nightly routine with locking the door behind him, and setting his mail on the table. Then, with unrelenting curiosity, he searched his stack of mail for the familiar gentle penmanship.

His heart jumped only slightly when he found the envelope tucked between an ad and a piece of junk mail.

Quickly, Reid picked the envelope up and turned it over. He pulled the seal out of the envelope with a smile, followed by the blue stationary. He laid the envelope on his dining table and sat back in his chair, unfolding the baby blue paper.

Greetings, Dr. Reid! 10/04/2010

No need to worry. No amount of education you have will scare away the likes of me. In fact, I prefer talking to people of higher IQ. Makes me feel understood.

Ooh! Three PhDs and three BAs and you’re still in your twenties? That’s amazing! You have to be a genius to manage that. I graduated on time like a boring person. But hey, who can say they finished their doctorate program in 3 years other than you? I’m sure it’s not that many people.

By the way, you don’t just ask a lady for her birthday. That’s like, rule number 2. Number one is to never ask a girl her age. They kind of go hand in hand.

That’s kinda cute that your mom signed you up. Maybe I can send you a thank you card along with my next reply so I can thank her. I just joined because I guess I needed a friend. Not that the college advice isn’t EXTREMELY helpful. I’m glad I got you too. I guess this means we’re friends now? Or are we stuck to ‘pals’?

I am so glad you agree on old literature. Anything after the 20th century is biased, although you can still find some rare gems. Like Sherlock Holmes and Edgar Allen Poe. But I guess you already knew that. You already profiled what I’ve already read of Doyle, so I wouldn’t put it past you to be able to guess what kind of literature is my favorite.

So you’re an FBI agent, huh? Tell me, do you guys really have a branch that watches search engines all day long for suspicious activity? That job sounds boring. I bet yours is way more exciting. Catching criminals based on science and behavior? Dream come true. Though I do wonder what you’d do if you weren’t FBI. I bet you get that question all the time.

I thought about what you said, and you should be proud. I took your advice and I’m deciding to go for a Chemistry doctorate this time. This way I can catch up to you one day. But I don’t know what I’d get if I went for a third round.

My parents aren’t… happy that I’m moving out. I expected that. They had complete polar opposite reactions too. My mother cried and begged me to stay while my father got mad and demanded that I change my mind. Like I’m going to just call up my realtor, who’s already in the process of getting my new apartment figured out, and say ‘Oops, nevermind.’

But you’re right. I need to do what I want to do. It’s my life.

One last question before I close this out, extremely important:

What is, your favorite ice cream flavor? Mine’s (F/I/C/F).

Hope to hear from you soon!

(Y/N) (L/N)

Spencer closes the blue paper, and discovers that his cheeks have begun to hurt from smiling for so long. He rubs one of them mindlessly, staring back down at the blue stationary he’d just closed. Maybe this is what it’s like having someone you can openly obsess over your favorite things with. Yeah. That’s probably what it is. It’s not like Spencer knew (Y/N) all that well yet. They’d only sent 5 letters in total. 2 being his own. He can’t fall in love with someone he’ll never meet. It was just destined for heartbreak.

This wasn’t going to be a problem. Spencer was sure he wasn’t crushing. It’s just admiration.

Spencer swallowed a gulp in his throat, standing up and stretching his worn out limbs. He glanced to his sink, sighing as he remembered that yes, he may have a day off, but that also meant dishes needed to be done. As well as laundry.

“Sometimes I wish I could blind myself to my own stupidity.” He grumbled to himself, resigning to leave the chores for tomorrow. For right now, he needed sleep. And lots of it.

What would he be doing if he wasn’t at the BAU? The question had been so innocent when asked, but it made Reid think. He knew he wanted to stay in the bureau. There was almost no doubt in his mind that this was where he belonged. But he’d never stopped to ponder what he’d be doing if he’d gone a different direction. If the FBI hadn’t been an option. He’d thought about it, but never in complete seriousness. The only time he’d actually considered something else had been when Gideon had left. Now? He wasn’t so sure.

Reid remained occupied in his mind as he continued his routine with brushing his teeth and changing for bed, thinking over the questions he’d been asked. It had been a long time since someone had asked him questions like that. Even silly ones, like the last one (Y/N) had cutely squeezed in between a serious topic and her closing. Maybe those were the kinds of questions he should be asking. To get to know her better.

Spencer sat down on his bed, picking up the blue paper he had laid gently on his nightstand. He laid back in his bed, resting his head on his pillow, and read it again. This time, he found himself staring at the poem left at the bottom. He smiled warmly, finally realizing the connection between his penpal’s emotions and the poems she picks. He folds up the letter once more, and places it back on top of his nightstand for him to read again in the morning in order to reply. For now, he read over the poem again in his mind. The poem sent to him by his newest friend.

Hold fast to dreams, For if dreams die,

Life is a broken-winged bird, That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams, For when dreams go,

Life is a barren field, Frozen with snow.

– Langston Hughes

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x reader fic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer x y/n #spencer #spencer reid fanfic #spencer x reader #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds family #criminal minds fanfic

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fighting-and-drawing · 1 year

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Shudō

Thank you again, @the12thnightproject, for the Reverse Game! I played the Eight of Spades and in return got “LGBTQ Themes.” Perfect time to shamelessly self-promote my longfic, Heart of the Warrior, with a deleted scene!

Set between Chapters 3 and 4 of Heart of the Warrior... Apparently, education in poetry, ethics, and literacy was as prevalent in samurai training as in martial arts. They even studied Chinese-based manuals, such as the notorious Art of War by Sun Tzu. However, Thai could almost do none of that thanks to his lack of Japanese. While speaking Japanese was getting better for Thai, his ability to read was not as proficient.

“‘P-perceiving...what...is right and...do...do—’”

“‘Doing,’” Yukimura corrected.

“‘Doing it...not reveals a...lack of....c-courage?’”

“Courage,” Yukimura said, rubbing his brow. “(Jeez, this is gonna take forever.)”

After his daily training session, Thai was sat down in Yukimura’s room reading analects from Confucius' works. Thrice already, Yukimura had to play the weirdest game of charades and Guess! for Thai to understand what the words meant since Sasuke wasn’t available (most likely hiding from Kenshin again). To his credit, he didn’t think teaching Thai would be as difficult as it was now. As the day went on and the sun started to dip below the horizon, both Yukimura and Thai were as mentally exhausted as they were physically.

“J-just...close the book,” Yukimura sighed.

Thai carefully placed away the book. “I did tell you I was stubborn, to be fair,” Thai said.

“Yeah, I know,” Yukimura said. “Do us a favor—can you get some tea over here?”

“On it, bossing.”

“‘Bossing’?” Yukimura softly repeated as Thai made his exit. Just as Thai left, however, he saw him bowing and saying “hi” to someone just past the door before leaving. It turned out to be Lord Shingen, the larger daimyo making his entrance with his debonair smile. “Yuki~” Shingen mused. “How goes Thai’s training?”

Yukimura waited a moment, letting out another sigh. “To be honest, Lord Shingen...not well.” He groaned. “For a moment, I thought the gods granted me a fierce warrior, but now, I’m not so sure.”

“Understandable,” Shingen said, sitting down across from Yukimura. “He is a foreigner, after all. Even though he is a fighter, I doubt he actually trained with any army. I’m still curious as to where it was that he came from.”

“Hmm...I heard him mentioning something about the Portuguese Merchant Ports. But, he doesn’t look like any of the Portuguese merchants we saw.”

“Maybe one of their...servants,” Shingen said that last word with a fervent, disappointed growl. “It wouldn’t be the first time a Portuguese merchant came to us about a runaway of theirs.”

“Hmph. Well, wherever it was he came from, he still has a long way to go if he’s gonna become one of my men.”

Shingen’s smile deepened. “Speaking of, Yuki,….if I’m not mistaken, Thai would be the first person you personally took in to bring up as a samurai,” Shingen cooed.

“What? I’ve personally seen to many people’s training,” Yuki said.

“But, nearly not as full-time as you are doing with our dear foreign friend. Tell me, Yuki...would he be defined as your apprentice?”

Yukimura’s eyebrow raised, his arms crossing. “Well...of course, he could be my apprentice if we’re going by that definition.”

“Hmm...how old is he?”

“Sasuke mentioned something about him being the youngest out of all three of us. Like, twenty-something, but...wait…” Yukimura recoiled, his tongue caught in his throat. Shingen let out a deep chuckle.“My lord, with all due respect,” Yukimura growled. “We’re not going there!”

“What? It's nothing to be ashamed of,” Shingen laughed. “Besides, Thai seems very nice. I think it would be good for you, too, Yuki~.”

“I have to object, my lord! First of all, no. Second of all—absolutely not! That’s not gonna be good for either one of us! I don’t even understand how that’ll be better for Thai’s learning, let alone weird him out!”

“You two would become closer, you get to know one another better, you trust him more…” Shingen kept listing the benefits of his proposed idea, making Yukimura more flustered.

“B-but, I don’t even know if that’s something he knows of? It’s very uncomfortable talking about this, my lord. Please stop!”

“Just teasing, Yuki~. Although, I won't deject the possibility of me having that thought about him” Shingen kept chuckling. “But in all seriousness, Yukimura. If you’re going to take the responsibility of having Thai as an apprentice, then you should probably get to know him better. Maybe then, you can learn about something that can help him. After all, just as an apprentice helps his master, so should the master help his apprentice.”

“I do know him!” Yukimura said. “He saved my life!”

“Ah, but we don’t know where he comes from. We don’t know his age, either. What is his birthday? His favorite food? His life goals? His type of woman? Or, maybe men? I especially would like to know more about those last two topics~”

Yukimura’s cheeks turned deep red, his face scrunched up as Lord Shingen began to talk more about women. “Grr...just for that, my lord, no more sweets for the rest of the night!”

It was Shingen’s turn to recoil in horror. He placed a hand on his chest, his mouth and eyes wide open. He let out a horrid gasp. “Yuki! How could you~” he cried fake-ish tears.

“Tsk!” Yuki grunted as he folded his arms. “You and your crude mind, Lord Shingen!"

"Such an easy target to fluster," Shingen murmured before erupting in a low chuckle.

Yukimura grumbled to himself. Of course, he knew who Thai was, but he could not deny Lord Shingen's points. Thai kept everything close to his vest. No one besides Sasuke knew of his origins, his family, or even his birthday. But, to learn about all of those personal qualities did not demand a proposed relationship between master and apprentice like Lord Shingen proposed. Sure, it was something Lord Shingen had engaged in previously. He and Kōsaka were very happy together for a time.

But, it was nonsense! He and Thai would not be the same as they were. They had only known each other for a few weeks.

Yukimura hid a strange gut feeling behind a scowl. Even thinking about it made his body feel all weird. It was not disgust nor was it rejection, but—

"Thinking about what I said?" Shingen asked, "Perhaps awaiting to gaze upon Thai's handsome visage?"

"Grr! Stop it!" Yukimura growled, his cheeks growing redder by the passing second.

#reverse game #fic: Heart of the Warrior #ikemen sengoku kenshin #ikesen Yukimura #shudō #Shingen would be the bisexual one

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chillingintheheat · 10 months

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(OPINION) Atheism in Confucianism

Confucianism has no gods or deities, rather the confucians respect Confucius as a spirit in the afterlife. This type of religion, whether you believe it to be a religion or not, is called atheistic. This is in contrast to a theistic religion, or one that does worship a God. I believe that this aspect of Confucianism has many unique facets, good and bad, that I will be presenting and detailing in the following outline.

Pros:

Based on logic meaning it works better

Instead of accepting things because of the rules set by a hypothetical God whose existence is unprovable, having no God encourages us to make meaningful reasonings and connections behind our laws and orders. If these logical steps were not made, someone else would simply “disprove” your religion because of its lack of a God. This is inherently good because logic forces us to make decisions that benefit us, if a choice was unideal for the people, then it would not be logical. For example, say there was a debate between two parties, a peasant and a criminal. The criminal was alleged to have stolen the peasants food, a charge the criminal does not deny, according to the Confucian doctrine that “You shall act upon others, as you wish to be acted upon,” the criminal will have been deemed to be wrong, and therefore punished. However, let us assume that the robber follows some hypothetical religion, stating that a peasant is of a lesser kind and therefore not to be held in equal standing according to the rules, something that we in the modern day look at as absurd. If we were to follow the reasoning of the thief, we can clearly see that it would have a negative impact on the peasant and all other peasants. However, following the logic of Confucianism would grant retribution and reparations to the peasant, restoring balance. Even though the situation might have seemed like a strawman to modern day people, it certainly would have made sense to some ruling class monarchies in medieval kingdoms, in which the Monarch may even act like a God sometimes. So who is to say that we are not facing a similar problem in modern day society. I can hereby say with confidence that a rational, orderly society has a bigger net benefit impact on the lives of its citizens, rather than a purely authoritative state, one which religions can sometimes mimic.

No unprovable or conspiracy-like beliefs

We can see this play out in arguments for God's existence, it is clear to all of us that the absolute existence of a God, is in its essence, unprovable; so that begs the question of why we even consider the existence of one in the first place. In this problem I implicate the very chance, no matter how big or small, of a God, to be the reason so many still believe in a God. However, I find this to be illogical at its core. Why should one believe in something that they themselves cannot prove? We certainly cannot rule out the existence of a God, but given its unprovability, it should not play a big role in human society. Therefore, the decrees of a God with little power shall hold little influence as well. Calling back to the previous hypothetical stated in the above. One might choose to say that the robber may be justified in that their God might exist or another may exist who hold such a rule that the peasant is less of a human. However, given the God's hypothetical status, this would seem irrational. Now imagine this at a smaller scale, with someone in your religion, in the shoes of the thief. We see that the notion that the rules of a heavenly being be enshrined in law is one that goes against reasoning and logic. The lack of a God, means the lack of these problems, and as I outlined before, we would be forced to face things with a rational approach, and believe, ideally, in the path the facts pave for us.

Cons:

No fear of God meaning there is no motivation to keep people following the religion

As we can see often, being logical and moral require energy. If you were to decide between not having to use that energy and having to spend time and dedication, from a purely selfish point of view, it would seem like the former would be the better choice. This is even more reinforced when you note the reason people follow a religion, like wanting to be moral or be in a community, but we can feel that being scared of God and wanting to go to heaven as being a big factor. Now, take Confucianism, a religion believing that one should act according to the present and not some things that might happen after death. Why should people want to follow it? It has no power over you, so you don't need to, and the other religions are threatening you with the idea of some sort of hell or purgatory.

Many unanswered question like what happens after death

As mentioned above, atheism asks for logic and tangible connections, things that cannot fully explain death and the metaphysical, or even some of the physical. This can lead to some discouragement as we as humans desire answers for everything, something logic simply cannot provide. However theists can have answers for any or all of these, depending on the religion. For example, while Confucius says that the afterlife is too complex for humans to understand, the Bible goes as far to describe the physical attributes of heaven. Humans will naturally follow the easiest path, and it is clear that knowing where you go after death is much easier than just not knowing.

While Atheism does provide a more logical and probable view of the world, these can be uncomfortable to people which leads them to not follow Confucianism and rather follow a theist religion, whether this is a fully bad thing, however, I am not sure.

PS: This is not a recent 'essay', I don't agree with parts of this and still agree with parts of it

#religion #atheism #agnostic #agnosticism

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oldgooddaysoldgooddays · 1 year

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288

On Sunday there is new graffiti in Shoreditch which I pass on my way to the studio. It’s not one of those tragic feats of hipster craftsmanship better suited to an NFT or vape store or Miami, but rather a hurried scrawl reading “I farted during yoga”. The “a” in “yoga” has a long chaotic tale, perhaps the work of someone on a bike or sprinting, spray can in hand. A while ago there was a similarly urgent-looking message a couple of streets over which said “covid fucked my life”. In my mind both are by the same author, perhaps someone for whom shit-posting on Twitter is no longer catharsis enough Speaking of respiratory illness, I have a cold. On the rare occasion I catch one, I always wonder whether connecting with other people in rooms is worth it, and begin making demented assessments of the previous couple of weeks’ hangouts, cursing myself for not calculating risks better. I forget how grim it is to ail every time, and I forget how carefully I have to choose the foods I eat during these times because historically my brain associates whatever I dine on with disease and bam, I can’t deal with popcorn or cucumbers for weeks after I tell R I’ve been in a battle with myself about how much backing track is acceptable in a live performance. Do I insist every part is played or approximated by hand to satisfy the purists (really just one imaginary baby boomer) and accept the result sounding worse? Or do I cave lightly to the backing track, leaving a fuller sound but an emptier heart, a sense of failure? The battle is eventually settled by watching 100 gecs, a band N and I are fast becoming diehard fans of, play live around the US on YouTube. Not an instrument in sight, just two dyed-blonde 20 year olds with vocal effects running through their microphones and a backing track straight out of a Gen Z karaoke bar. I figure my set up is at least more hands-on than this. Fuck it. Cue the digitised guitar stems for Child’s Pose. I never thought I would have this problem. All my dreams now involve sexual rejection by a comedian or encountering some logistical problem with my live set. I forget the in-ears, my drummer gets acid reflux, Hitler is in the audience, people are late I go to make calls on raw plaster in my future living room and try to hide my nasal drip from the restoration experts. I send M a tweet I found saying “don’t forget to leave milk and cookies out for Women”. B sends a Food Disgust Quiz and I take it, choosing agree-disagree answers to bizarre statements like “I cannot control myself when I see a suckling pig” and “eating an apple my friend has just touched is unforgivable” and “an insect in my meal is absolutely fine”. I lie in the bath and think about how Jeffrey Dahmer’s apartment must’ve smelled, how he probably stopped noticing it after a while. Once I get out the bath I know I will feel like garbage again. Confucius said “a healthy man wants a thousand things, a sick man only wants one”

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csmcglw-blog · 1 year

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cont.

Though it is absolutely true that morality is an indispensable part of social and interpersonal functioning, perhaps the greatest and most surprising moral effort we can achieve is in the understanding of our total selves, wherever we pitch our tent on the moral or psychological landscape. One of Carl Jung's most bone-chilling and powerful assertions was that in understanding his own shadow and his own propensity for violence, anger and hatred, he was therefore able to understand that he himself was capable of mass-murder, willful opression and all things genocidal and wicked. A key point is that this isn't merely an act of philosophical and moral introspection. In understanding my own capacity for evil, I understand it in others as well and therefore I do not put myself neatly into the category of "good guy" and my enemies into the infamous "bad guy" camp. This allows me to see that in different circumstances I could have done the same evil deeds and therefore I do not have the inclination to dehumanize others which so often is the precursor to immoral actions on my own behalf. Confucius said, "to put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order; we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." The darkness is where the true growth lies, and when we illuminate it, when we put our light to use in an act of honest courage, it becomes our ally not our enemy. We no longer have to dehumanize ourselves and live in a half-world of denial; perpetuating the age-old myth that fear is the proper response to that which we don't understand. Nobody knows for sure who wrote the Gospel According to John, but its opening statement ends with a curious sentiment: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it." If the darkness was capable of comprehension, however, and could speak for itself, what would it say? Here's one possible proclamation, "I am here, I exist, I am part of you and part of the universe. I know that you fear me, I know that you reject me, but I am what I am, I have existed forever with the light, my purpose being to expose its brilliant rays, I am your ally, not your adversary, and I come to you now to say KNOW ME and together we can forge a path towards wholeness and a perfect understanding of what truly is."

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gay-snom · 3 years

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contextualizing lwj’s coming to terms with his feelings subplot!

i wanna talk about the role of confucianism in this subplot because i think it’s something some western fans might not pick up on. basically, the sociopolitical climate of confucianism in his character arc, and a little bit about his interaction with the public image theme.

disclaimer: i’m not chinese but i do have a double minor in chinese and asian studies and have written a few papers on confucianism.

we’re gonna be talking about the novel bc i feel its a little more in-depth and nuanced than lwj’s “what is black, what is white” monologue in cql. namely the tension and misunderstanding in wwx’s first life and how lwj got his scars. i feel like it’s pretty well accepted that wwx made lwj reconsider his world view, so i’m just gonna expand on it. also i want to point out it's pretty unspoken in most of the text, but lwj is also affected by/used to explore the public image themes, as his image the is ideal confucian scholar.

confucianism is centered around the ideas of how to behave “good” in sociopolitical contexts. basically it boils down to a belief system on how society should be run. if everyone follows confucian beliefs, you will have an ideal society. the main text is the Analects, which you can read here. it’s been around for a few thousand years (like around 200 BCE ish), had a huge revival in the tang dynasty (618-907 CE). it was put on imperial exams, the emperor’s cabinet had confucian scholars, etc. this is just to say confucian values are important to historic society, especially upper-class scholars, which seems to be a role cultivators commonly fill in xianxia. here are some basic tenants:

being a gentleman/scholar/superior man (君子 jūn zǐ) : partly being learned in the arts, literature, music, poetry, etc., mostly behaving righteously and dutifully.

filial piety: usually described as obedience. it's not simply obeying everything elders tell you, it includes doing it with reverence and thankfulness for their sacrifices for you.

leading by example: if leaders/the government is righteous, the people will follow. lwj has his flock of juniors that are all strong cultivators and the lan sect is just generally known for being moral and good.

rites/rituals: a focus on politeness and holding proper ceremonies, sacrifices, and funerals

speech: there’s some great meta about the register he speaks in here, i just want to touch on think carefully before you speak, only speak sincerely, etc.

tldr; lwj is THE perfect gentleman (even his title contains the character suffix 君 -jūn, like lxc. which, while this character is not uncommon for cultivator titles, it wasn’t chosen carelessly either. also not to be confused with 尊 -zūn). seriously, look at almost all of book 10 and you'll see don't do/consume in excess, don't talk during meals, sit only when your mat is straight, etc.

okay, so Why is understanding his feelings for wwx so troublesome?

1.2 "They are few who, being filial and fraternal, are fond of offending against their superiors. There have been none, who, not liking to offend against their superiors, have been fond of stirring up confusion... Filial piety and fraternal submission! - are they not the root of all benevolent actions?"

in other words, people who are filial will never create political tension. so like, morally, wwx should be considered horrible person! he’s not only snubbed the jiang sect. he was a head disciple who undoubtedly had younger students looking up to him. and then he goes and stirs up some huge political issues! he is now a bad role model for the people below him and disrespected the people above him. lwj has an entire image to uphold, he has poured his entire life into following these rules and beliefs, and then wwx comes along. would continuing to be in wwx's life taint lwj? there are some contradicting teachings in regards to interacting with wwx:

15.4: "Do not take counsel with those who follow a different Way"

15.28: "When the multitude hates a person, you must examine them and judge for yourself. The same holds true for someone whom the multitude love."

15.36 "When it comes to being Good, defer to no one, not even your teacher."

this is part of the reason lwj had so much trouble accepting his feelings. he didn’t know how to handle this situation, making him appear distant during/directly after sunshot. if he judges wwx's intentions to be pure, it's then not wrong to be friendly with him. but wwx still is morally wrong by society's standards. now, lwj has to not only figure out his feelings, but also reconcile this with how he still thinks wwx is Not a bad person, despite everything. what if he does get "tainted" by wwx? will it hurt the reputation of his sect? that would be un-filial, right? he spent his whole life memorizing rules that are probably extremely similar to sections in the Analects, and now these mixed messages (coupled with the relatable gay panic) are overwhelming.

onto the next! there’s something unspoken in the scene where wwx discovers why lwj has the whip scars. as other posts have mentioned, lwj taking wwx back to the burial mounds and nursing him is high treason. however, this action is also extremely un-filial. also his entire image is built around being a perfect gentleman, if this were to get out to the public he would lose absolutely everything. he would be just as irreparable as wwx.

“I was worried if those from another sect found you first, WangJi would be considered your accomplice. The best scenario was his name being forever tainted, and the worst was his life being taken away right then. Thus, along with Uncle, we chose thirty three seniors who had always thought highly of WangJi... ”

there’s no way lwj didn’t know what would happen if he did this. obviously as lxc says, if this got out, he would lose basically his entire face. and even though lxc didn’t mention this, it would definitely lose a lot of face for the lan sect as well since lwj is so prominent. the decision about what elders to bring is also notable.

“...As if he knew all along he would be discovered by us, he said that there was nothing to explain, that this was it. Growing up, he had never talked back to Uncle, not even once. But for you, not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the Gusu Lan sect...”

so yeah, he obviously knew they would come for him and what the consequences would be. and he still talked back! that’s already not a good look for the lan sect. but attacking them? totally unforgivable! lwj gives up how he was raised and the importance of filial piety, what he has held on to until this major plot event. since it's basically the biggest "fuck you" to his uncle and his clan, this was not a decision he made lightly. lwj shows them he cares more about wwx and His Own ideas of right and wrong than the sect’s or society’s.

Wei WuXian dug his hands into his hair, “...I-I didn’t know... I really...”

when was the last time wwx was at a loss for words? wwx spends a few paragraphs after this lamenting how he hurt lwj, but he's not unaware of the gravity of what lwj did. it's an underlying assumption from being raised in the culture. i would argue his first instinct is "oh god he gave up what for me?" since those lamenting paragraphs are after lxc finishes speaking.

"But he said... that he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong..."

this is something thrown around a lot in the Analects, that not even confucius can say for sure what is right or wrong. what better way to show lwj is still a perfect confucian than have him paraphrase confucius himself?

“...WangJi was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate--you were the only mistake he made!”

here’s the confirmation that the world and even his family thinks of him as a perfect gentleman, the top tier of society, and it was all thrown away for wwx. this is just so heavy. the mistake thing? thats not only because lwj is fraternizing with an enemy. lxc and the rest of the sect who knew are terrified this will forever corrupt lwj personally, not just publicly. lwj was so devoted to believing this was the right thing to do he offered up everything he had. the gravity of this decision is insane. it’s very obvious that he loves wwx, it’s just that he struggles a lot internally to accept everything that is happening.

as for helping wwx leave after the massacre, is this gentleman-ly of lwj? was it actually in-line with his image? is it more honorable to save someone who is dying, at the cost of your own health, than to look away? isn't looking away a form of resentment? i wasn't able to find a specific passage about bystander-ness, but personally i think it qualifies as "bad intentions." there is also this passage for what it's worth, originally it was about government suppression:

12.19: "...What do you say to killing the unprincipled for the good of the principled?" Confucius replied, "...why should you use killing at all?..."

lwj is always more actions than words, and he was not fucking around. his core beliefs really haven't changed, and remain very strong throughout his life. he is still righteous enough to accept his punishment, graceful enough to search for wwx's body since there was no one else to do the funeral rites (10.22/10.15), caring enough to take in a-yuan, upright enough to still spend his years going where the chaos is.

just with this one action, the audience knows he has come to terms with realizing that authority isn't always just, and neither is the public opinion/opinion of other gentlemen. he has reconciled. this is him standing for what he believes is right. this is his devotion. this is his own choice. just. poetic cinema...

anyway that's it for my first meta post! i would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, opinions, discussions, other meta ideas, whatever! thank u for reading! <3

#its My post and i get to pick the subplot #i have...brainworms #wwx and lwj are foils in the public image theme change my mind #mdzs #mdzs meta #lan wangji #mo dao zu shi #stfu #meta

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kingdoms-and-empires · 3 years

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Is Argent based on any specific culture? I assume the empire is a Rome-esq nation, but I could be wrong.

Oh wow, this is a great question lol! The Belthean Empire is actually more similar to the Ming Empire, the current emperor, our grandfather, is modelled very loosely on the Yongle Emperor. The reign of our grandfather certainly approaches the glory and splendor of the Yongle Emperor's reign. Honestly I personally love Zhu Di haha.

The Belthean Empire while similar to the Ming Dynasty in terms of economic power, splendor, cosmopolitan living, and sheer military might, it is also without the constraints of the Confucian traditions that make an emperor/empire inheritably weak. "Benevolent Rule" was the reason for China's extremely low tax rate, and it was also the reason for the Emperor to always delegate crap to other officials, including leading a war. The reason being, while obviously lowering the tax rate was benevolent for obvious reasons, the delegation part of it stems from the fact that Confucius wanted a leader to heed and surround himself with great men. Delegation was the mark of an intelligent and thoughtful leader.

This created, repeatedly, for the rise of the annoying ass eunuch power usurpation actions throughout the eras. Since a general and not the emperor was heading the war, the army would become loyal to the general and not the emperor, creating Dong Zhous and An Lushans. Or Liu Bangs. Or Cao Caos. Or Zhu Dis. Or...you get the idea. Further, the low tax rate was only possible due to the ABSOLUTE SHEER NUMBERS of the chinese citizenry. Get a dollar from a million people is still a million dollars. But this tax policy would always make the chinese fight with a hand behind their back. The Taiping Rebellion (This war is actually the most devastating war in human history before the World Wars. 30-50 million causalities) showed just how ridiculous this tax policy was. The Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, taxed their people heavily, and it only consisted of almost 4 provinces against around 22 provinces yet was able to put up a really good fight. It shows that the economic capacity of China was virtually untapped.

The Belthean Empire, does not suffer from any of these handicaps. The Emperor is practically forced to become a general, in charge of the armies due to their Blessed Treasures. The tax rate is sufficiently and fairly adjusted to provide a MASSIVE amount of revenue. The Mandate of Heaven given to the Emperors cant be arbitrarily lost since it is physical in form of said Blessed Treasures.

I didnt want a ROMA INVICTA culture cause honestly, I thought that would be boring. It would be too easy, and too recognizable by my fellow Roman Chad Patricians haha. Chinese history instead is still not widely known by the people of the west, or the middle east. My readers from Asia however, will probably catch some historical events that are ABSOLUTELY INSANE that they will actually recognize!

Now for the Kingdom of Argent, the English Kingdom for their unique talent in archery and the Longbows, but if I really had to say, the loyalty and well oiled military may have been more inspired by the Swedish Kingdom during the Great Northern War! Gustavus Adolphus and Carolus Rex both inherited the throne and really young ages. Gustavus, the father of modern warfare, was crowned at the age of 16, and had to immediately fight 3 wars and kicked ass. Carolus Rex inherited at the age of 15, and was also almost immediately attacked by Denmark, Poland, and Russia, the leader at the time being PETER THE GREAT. He then proceeded win incredible victories just as Gustavus. Both of these guys have their own songs by Sabaton, I recommend you all listen to em!

Damn, i wrote a LOT haha, well if you guys got this far, thanks for reading!

#kingdomsandempires #questions

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wisdomrays · 3 years

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QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: How Many Prophets Were There? Were They All From Arabia?

Prophets were raised and sent to their people in different lands and at different times. One hadith puts the number of Prophets at 124,000; another mentions 224,000. Both versions, however, should be evaluated critically according to the science of hadith. The exact number is not important; rather, we should realize that no people has ever been deprived of its own Prophet: There never was a people without a Warner having lived among them (35:24) and: We never punish until We have sent a Messenger (17:15).

To punish a people before warning them that what they are doing is wrong is contrary to His Glory and Grace. The warning precedes responsibility, which may be followed by reward or punishment: Anyone who has done an atom's weight of good shall see it. And anyone who has done an atom's weight of evil shall see it (99:7–8). If a Prophet has not been sent, people cannot know what is right and wrong and so cannot be punished. However, since every individual will be called to account for his or her good and evil deeds, we may infer that a Prophet has been sent to every people: We sent among every people a messenger with (the command): "Serve God and avoid evil" (16:36).

The Prophets were not raised only in Arabia. In fact, we do not even know all of the Prophets who were raised there, let alone elsewhere. We know only 28 of them by name (from Adam to Muhammad), and the Prophethood of three of them is uncertain. We do not know exactly from where they emerged. Supposedly, Adam's tomb and the place of his reunion with Eve is Jidda, but this information is uncertain. We know that Abraham spent some time in Anatolia, Syria, and Babylon. Lot was associated with Sodom and Gomorrah, around the Dead Sea; Shu'ayb with Madyan; Moses with Egypt; and Yahya and Zakariyya with the Mediterranean countries—they may have crossed to Anatolia, since Christians link Mary (Mayam ibn 'Isa) and Jesus with Ephesus. But these associations remain suppositions at best.

We know the names of some Prophets sent to the Israelites, but not the names of any others or where they appeared. Moreover, because their teachings have been distorted and lost over time, we cannot say anything about who they were and where they were sent.

Take the case of Christianity. Following the Council of Nicea (325 CE), the original doctrine of God's Oneness was dropped in favor of the human-made doctrine of the Trinity. For the Catholic Church, Jesus became the "son" of God, while his mother Mary became the "mother" of God. Some believed, rather vaguely, that God was immanent or present in things. Thus, Christianity came to resemble the idolatrous beliefs and practices of ancient Greece, and its followers began to associate other things and people with God, a major sin in Islam.

Throughout history, deviations and corruption of the Truth started and increased in this way. If the Qur'an had not informed us of the Prophethood of Jesus and of the purity and greatness of Mary, we would have difficulty in distinguishing the cults of and rites of Jupiter (Zeus) and Jesus, Venus (Aphrodite) and Mary.

This same process may have happened to other religions. As such, we cannot say definitely that their founders or teachers were Prophets or that they taught in a specific location. We only can speculate that Confucius, Buddha, or even Socrates were Prophets. We cannot give a definite answer because we do not have enough information about them and their original teachings. However, we know that the teachings of Confucius and Buddha influenced great numbers of their contemporaries and continue to do so.

Some say that Socrates was a philosopher influenced by Judaism, but they offer no proof. Words attributed to him by Plato imply that Socrates was "inspired" from a very early age to "instruct" people in true understanding and belief. But it is not clear if these words are attributed correctly or exactly what his people understood them to mean. Only this much is reliable: Socrates taught in an environment and manner that supports the use of reason.

Professor Mahmud Mustafa's observations of two primitive African tribes confirm what has been said above. He remarks that the Maw-Maws believe in God and call him Mucay. This God is one and only, acts alone, does not beget or is begotten, and has no associate or partner. He is not seen or sensed, but known only through His works. He dwells in the heavens, from where he ordains everything. That is why the Maw-Maws raise their hands when praying. Another tribe, the Neyam-Neyam, expresses similar themes. There is one God who decrees and ordains everything, and what he says is absolute. He makes everything in the forest move according to His will, and sends thunderbolts against those with whom he is angry.

These ideas are compatible with what is said by the Qur'an. The Maw-Maws's belief is very close to what we find in the Qur'an's Surat al-Ikhlas. How could these primitive tribes, so far removed from civilization and the known Prophets, have so pure and sound a concept of God? This reminds us of the Qur'anic verse: For every people there is a messenger. When their messenger comes, the matter is judged between them with justice, and they are not wronged (10:47).

Professor Adil of Kirkuk, Iraq, was working as a mathematician at Riyadh University when I met him in 1968. He told me that he had met many Native American Indians while earning his Ph.D. in the United States. He had been struck by how many of them believe in One God who does not eat or sleep or find himself constrained by time. He rules and governs all of creation, which is under His sovereignty and dependent on His will. They also referred to some of God's attributes: the lack of a partner, for such would surely give rise to conflict.

How does one reconcile the alleged primitiveness of such peoples with such loftiness in their concept of God? It seems that true Messengers conveyed these truths to them, some soundness of which can still be found in their present-day beliefs.

Some people wonder why there were no female Prophets. The overwhelming consensus of Sunni scholars of the Law and Tradition is that no woman has been sent as Prophet. Except for a questionable and even unreliable tradition that Mary and Pharaoh's wife were sincere believers, there is no Qur'anic authority or hadith that a woman was sent to her people as a Prophet.

God the All-Mighty created all entities in pairs. Humanity was created to be the steward of creation, and thus is fitted to it. The pairs of male and female are characterized by complex relation of mutual attraction and repulsion. Women incline toward softness, weakness, and compassion; men incline toward strength, force, and competitive toughness. When they come together, such characteristics allow them to establish a harmonious family unit.

Today, the issue of gender has reached the point where some people refuse to recognize the very real differences between men and women and claim that they are alike and equal in all respects. Implementing these views has resulted in the "modern" lifestyle of women working outside the home, trying to "become men," and thus losing their own identity. Family life has eroded, for children are sent to daycare centers or boarding schools as parents are too busy, as "individuals," to take proper care of them. This violence against nature and culture has destroyed the home as a place of balance between authority and love, as a focus of security and peace.

God the Wise ordained some principles and laws in the universe, and created human beings therein with an excellent and lofty nature. Men are physically stronger and more capable than women, and plainly constituted to strive and compete without needing to withdraw from the struggle. It is different with women, because of their menstrual period, their necessary confinement before and after childbirth, and their consequent inability to observe all the prayers and fasts. Nor can women be available continually for public duties. How could a mother with a baby in her lap lead and administer armies, make life and death decisions, and sustain and prosecute a difficult strategy against an enemy?

A Prophet must lead humanity in every aspect of its social and religious life without a break. That is why Prophethood is impossible for women. If men could have children, they could not be Prophets either. Prophet Muhammad points to this fact when he describes women as "those who cannot fulfil the religious obligations totally and cannot realize some of them."

A Prophet is an exemplar, a model for conducting every aspect of human life, so that people cannot claim that they were asked to do things that they could not do. Exclusively female matters are communicated to other women by the women in the Prophet's household.

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hobidreams · 4 years

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Moonlit Throne historical clarifications/references

i want to accurately represent the history from the joseon era, but sometimes for the sake of story/ease of accessibility, things had to be minorly changed. the following is a list of creative choices/changes i make in the writing of Moonlit Throne, as well as further information about the history/culture that i’ve found through my own research 💓 i hope this can also provide some more context for those interested. this list is to be updated as the series progresses so i always recommend you read the latest drabble before checking for more info here for risk of spoilers. please correct me if i get any info wrong!!

for even more information about the world, check out the tag #moonlit history!

last updated: after drabble 43!

new information for the latest drabble will be under the moon.

king gwanghae - as mentioned in the line “gwanghae flow” & in the rest of the MV, Daechwita was inspired by this historical king & the movie about him. Moonlit Throne is not inspired by any king. any event that is similar is purely coincidental!

topknot - various sources state that only married men were allowed to wear their hair up, though this is often not the case in popular korean media. even though Yoongi is unmarried, i chose to pay homage to the daechwita MV & give him a topknot throughout the series. *** same goes for the blonde hair color!

months - traditionally, they followed the lunar calendar in the Joseon era. but i thought that that would be a bit difficult to explain for modern audiences so i am choosing to use the months/modern equivalents of dates.

yoongi’s scar - i am aware that Scarlet Heart Ryeo depicts the facial scar as a reason that someone could not become king. i haven’t found much on this in the way of historical sources, so it’s not a factor in my series!

uinyeo - aka. reader’s mom, and eventually reader herself. at the time, it was believed that women could not be treated by male doctors due to the shame of showing a man their body, even in a medical context. this position was generally occupied by a woman that was ranked below middle-class & commoner (think merchants/fishermen/etc.) as it was not a very desireable role. reader’s mom, Eun-a, is the head uinyeo, which is why she is called “su-uinyeo-nim” by others.

***i haven’t found any information that says men couldn’t be treated by women due to the Confucius beliefs, so at least in this story, reader helps out the male physicians from time to time.

eunuch - eunuchs were impotent or castrated men (had all or part of their genitals removed) who worked within the palace walls, serving and attending the royal family. they had their own hierarchy, like head eunuch, etc. it was possible for eunuchs to marry & have families of their own.

***Eunuch Kim has a 🍆! it’s just his testicles that were removed.

yoongi’s name - technically kings use temple names that end in jo or jong instead of their given names, but i’m keeping it as Yoongi!!

age - it’s revealed in the march 1858 drabble that Yoongi is officially turning 10 years old that year, but this is in Korean age. his birth year is 1849, which would make him 9 years old in age as we know it internationally. Korean tradition dictates that people age up at the start of the new year (Jan 1), not on their actual birthday. traditionally, they also add an extra year as they consider the baby 1 year old at birth, not 0 years old. to do the math, reader is two years older than him, which would make her born in 1847 & turning 12 that year!

*** the average life expectancy around that time was ~35-40, so their understanding of a teenager would be very different than ours, at least in terms of maturity. thus, even though the main characters are relatively young by today’s standards, i’ve written them to come off as older. UPDATED INFO: it seems court ladies could live up to rather elderly ages, even up to 70, so i’m not sure if the earlier statistic was just mainly for men.

birthdays - i couldn’t find any information about whether they celebrated the actual day of birth as well back then, only about 100 day milestones, etc. but it is part of Korean culture to celebrate the birthday in modern times, so i kept it in.

jeonha - similar to mama, this is how you refer to the king as an equivalent to “Your Majesty”. wangseja-jeonha is the full title for the crown prince. usually people just call him seja-jeonha.

women’s rights - how much freedom you have kind of depends on what rank you are. most of the upper court/noble ladies (yangban) are born & raised within the palace. they were very, very rarely allowed to leave (& if they were married off, then they would have to leave with like guards/people with them). it’s unfortunate but they were treated like property, passed off from father -> husband. from what i can gather, the lower ranked women (like the uinyeo) had a bit more liberty about going into town (or at least ive seen in media), mostly bc no one cared about them.... sad truth but truth nonetheless.

king’s authority - even though the king is the ruler of the entire land, he doesn’t have absolute authority over everything. generally kings in the joseon era had to listen to the advice of the court officials if they thought he was making the wrong choice.

Minister Choi’s execution - so actually there were several types of executions for people of different ranks. someone of Minister Choi’s status likely would have been given a less gruesome death via. poison (sasa or 사사). but i’m keeping it as a beheading to pay homage to the daechwita MV!

***i also came across an article that said only royal blood could be spilled on the palace grounds so i’m not 100% sure where the public execution square was located, only that there was one & it was separate from the palace. also a lot of dramas seem to ignore this rule, so i’m not sure.

perfume - this existed back then! along with cosmetics. they were a luxury item for mostly the upper class, but they definitely existed.

Queen Jeonghui’s birthday - fun fact! i borrowed this real life queen’s name first, for drabble 3. then i found out, it just so happens that her real birthday falls in November as well. it was a total coincidence haha.

OC’s outfit/hairstyle - this is what she would have worn!

palace - the layout of the series setting is loosely based off Gyeongbokgung Palace! if you look at the map, i’ve set the private gardens at #24 (though the position of the island is different than how it looks in the map. it’s instead from the right side going towards the left), Yoongi’s private residence is #25. reader is moved into #23. #26-28 are libraries, which includes the crown prince’s private library.

*** also the palace is much bigger than you might imagine so to get anywhere takes some time & a bit of walking!

jipgyeongdang (집경당) - #22 on the map. along with #23 (below), were traditionally houses for concubines & palace maids before Yoongi moved them.

hamhwadang (함화당) - #23 on the map. where reader lives post December 1868.

sanggung - the highest rank available for women who served the palace/royal family. a woman could become a “favored sanggung” if she slept with the king, but not a proper concubine. normally from the “commoner” class.

sangmin - “commoner” class. made up about 80% of joseon’s people. were the farmers, fishermen, laborers, etc. these were the people that paid taxes and were ruled over by the nobles!

cheonmin - the rank below commoner, described in English as “vulgar commoner.” the upper classes considered these people “unclean.” among their numbers were butchers, sex workers, performers, shoemakers, and yes, uinyeo. they were normally given little to no respect at all within society.

concubine - women that had the honor of sleeping with the king. concubines had their own ranks within them as the king usually had many (think around a dozen). more info.

town - from what i can gather, directly outside of the palace is a small town. if you think of the Daechwita MV, it’s like the town that Yoongi walks through when he has black hair. this is where mostly people of the middle/lower class, like sangmin & those below that, live.

chuseok - Korean harvest festival! it means “autumn evening with the brightest moon”. it’s usually celebrated on the 15th day of the eighth month in the lunar calendar. that would put it anywhere around sept 9-oct 2 in our modern calendar depending on the year!

yangban - these are the “ruling class” or gentry of the joseon era. generally means their families own land, are somewhat (or very) wealthy, and they are well-educated. (think Mr. Darcy, for a British equivalent)

why does no one recognize the prince in town? - with a lack of access to pictures & internet, it was common for the normal citizens of the country to not know what their monarchs looked like. generally to identify people & rank, they had to rely on appearance. gold was a color only reserved for royalty, so only the king & his sons could wear the royal robes with gold embroidery. once Yoongi takes off those robes, it’d be hard to identify him from among regular yangban!

jeon - these are bits of shrimp/vegetables/fish/other small things that are deep fried in egg batter!

nokdujeon - this is like a small, savory pancake made with, you guessed it, mung beans!

Chun-ja calling Eunuch Kim “Kim-nim” - look. i’ll be straight with you i have no idea how a commoner would refer to a eunuch. i’m flip-flopping between his title (which i also cannot figure out bc idk which of the 18 political ranks he would be, but not for lack of trying y’all T_T) & his name with the respectful -nim. so just to be safe, i’m going with it.

***i also am not 100% on this, but i believe Eunuchs rank higher than commoners because they work in the palace? which is why Eunuch Kim uses “-ssi” for her.

hangul & hanja - so the Korean alphabet as we know it is called hangul, and it was invented in 1443. in the past, they used to use hanja, Chinese characters, to write documents.

female literacy rate - as related to above, it was rare for women to be able to read/write even up until the late 19th century. they weren’t allowed to learn hanja at all & only around 4% could learn hangul. of those 4%, it was mostly noble women, who received good education to be better wives.

***books were then thus read aloud by those literate to crowds, so people could still enjoy stories.

face - the concept of “face” is very much rooted in Asian culture. in Korea, it’s called chemyon, & is basically related to your reputation + how others see you. you can lose, build, or gain face through your actions or what rumors of you spread. for example, if parents have children with bad grades, they + the child lose face. people should strive to do things to build their family’s honor & face up. i’ve experienced firsthand how people go to sometimes extreme lengths to “save face” as the term goes. basically, if you’re going to do something shameful, it’s better to do it where no one can see. (this concept isn’t going to have a huge influence in the series, at least not so far & i use it rather lightheartedly in October 1865 but i just thought that it’s really interesting + important to know about Asian culture!)

French expedition to Korea (Byeong-in yangyo) - in October 1866, the second French empire tried to invade Korea (or Joseon as it was called at the time) because the king at the time executed seven French missionaries. after several months of fighting, Korea won with only four soldiers killed & 3 wounded (compared to France: 3 killed, 35 wounded). Joseon was able to stay relatively isolated from all the other countries, continuing the practice of isolationism.

gossip - i couldn’t find any laws prohibiting people from talking about court going-ons/battles, though i would assume that it’s punishable if you’re doing it to talk badly about the king. but even if there were laws in place, word gets around, as word tends to do. therefore, i’ve given Eunuch Kim a bit more freedom in his letters.

royal funerals - it could actually take up to 5 months for the coffin to begin its journey to the resting tomb, but i’ve expedited the timeline for plot purposes!

coronations - these actually weren’t super common in Korea or Asia in general, but it did happen once in the 1700s for King Yeongjo. i’m using that as inspiration for Yoongi’s crowning.

*** also i couldn’t find info on the exact wording that King Yeongjo used when he announced his succession to his deceased brother’s body so... i took some creative license there.

gama - how yangban & up women travelled, carried by their servants. here’s a visual!

the royal engagement - actually, Beom-su would not have lived within the palace walls. she would have lived in a detached palace that was further away from the main palace, and there would be a whole procession where the king goes to her during their wedding rites. however, i’ve seen several dramas have the bride-to-be hang around a lot, which seems to be true because she would have had to learn the customs of the palace, so i’m not sure how much she would have been around realistically. i’ve just chosen not to address it, like the dramas do.

Beom-su’s name - i chose this name for her because of one of the possible hanja for beom: “犯”, which i would pair with the hanja “秀” for su. her name would basically mean excellent invasion, which i thought was a bit cruel, slightly humorous, & overall fitting. it is normally a masculine name though!

why are Beom-su’s father’s actions such a scandal? - so all the unmarried women living/working in the palace were considered the king’s property. he could sleep with them if he wanted to, but essentially they belonged to him. by laying hands on the maid, the minister committed a double sin because he not only was he assaulting someone, but he was infringing upon the king’s territory.

civil service exam (gwageo) - this is an exam issued every 3 years that any man, commoner rank & above, could take in order to enter into civil service. it’s what Jimin takes to enter into the court! i’m not sure what month these were held or if it was just at the king’s discretion (could not find much info)

more on eunuch kim & the re-marriage process

royal tombs - these were often quite far away from the actual palace but looking on maps, i found that there were a few tombs rather close to the palace that people could have conceivably travelled to within a day, over several long hours on horseback!

on natural disasters - yes, in history, natural disasters like floods/earthquakes/eclipses were said to be the king’s fault because he wasn’t a good enough ruler! things like this could seriously derail the people’s trust in the king and was a big cause of concern.

on Queen Jeonghui being in court meetings - i couldn’t find actual evidence that said the queen couldn’t be at these daily meetings between officials. in fact, the real life Empress Myeongseong in the ~1870s was pretty involved in politics and was quite interested in matters of law, etc. so, i’ve decided to allow Jeonghui to be present and address the ministers alongside Yoongi!

Chunaengjeon - i kind of explain more about this already in the drabble itself but if you’re curious, it’s the only solo court dance in the Joseon era and the highlight of the dance is a moment where the dancer mimics a bird perched on a flower and smiles :’) i thought it was fitting for these two. here’s a video of a performance that i used as reference!

janae - there were quite a few different terms for couples to call each other during this time. “janae” was meant to represent wife and is kind of their equivalent to our... “honey”? it was mostly used among the commoners/lower classes to convey affection and closeness. (aka eunuch kim continues to be the cutest)

on adopting a child as a eunuch - the readings i found say that eunuch kim’s children must be eunuchs themselves if he adopts them directly, but they don’t mention anything about this particular case of a eunuch marrying a widow, aka the child is not directly adopted by Eunuch Kim himself. so Han-jae will not be a eunuch when he grows up!

american invasion of korea (shinmiyangyo) - this is a true historical event, as i’ve mentioned in my author’s note for “June 1871.” Americans repeatedly violated Korean soveriegnty and invaded their land, resulting in many, many deaths for the Korean side. they were hoping this destruction would force Korea to accept the trade treaty. Korea did not, and eventually were able to chase the Americans out of their land a month later. the wikipedia page goes into greater detail if you’re interested, and is a quick overview of the situation.

seong-min’s living situation - as i’ve mentioned earlier with the whole Beom-su situation, i’ve chosen to not use the detached palace again for this engagement as dramas tend to do.

the wedding ceremony - similar to my reasoning about the detached palace, i’ve chosen to focus on only a few parts of the marriage rites while only briefly mentioning the rest. why? well, while i would LOVE to explain all the details and intricacies of such an incredible process, i feel like that would take a lot away from the heart of the story and be distracting, especially at such a critical stage. so i’ve explained what i can, and given brief overviews where i am able. ofc i adjusted the parading ceremony because of the change of the detached palace custom. if you’d like an easy-to-read source on the whole process, please check out this link! basically the MLT chapter depicts a tweaked vers of steps 5 and 6. 1-3 happened behind the scenes, and i mentioned #4 in the “summer 1871″ drabble.

chungin - our equivalent of “white collar” workers, or the upper-middle class. this rank was made up of low-level bureaucrats, accountants, physicians, etc. some royal servants would also be part of this rank because they’re allowed to enter the palace. there is an exam (chapkwa) to become this rank!

conception dreams (taemong) - as uinyeo-nim explains in the drabble, these dreams were often seen as omens of impending pregnancy. depending on what you see in your dream, there are different interpretations. possible symbols are animals, fruits, elements of nature, children, and jewels. eg. if you dreamed of fruits, it was often considered to be a sign of having a baby girl.

other conception myths - i know from my own experience that Asians often have a lot of superstitions regarding conception and pregnancy and medical things in general. however, i couldn’t find any specific conception myths for the time period in question (most of my research only uncovered superstitions for after you’re already pregnant), so i’ve taken some creative license here, using the conception dreams and current beliefs as inspiration!

on Queen Jeonghui calling oc “dear” - since I prefer not to use Y/N, ___, etc. for reader’s name and just generally avoid mentioning it, it’s nearly impossible for me to convey the tone with which Queen Jeonghui would’ve been calling OC in this chapter. in Korean, she would be saying “[name]-yah/ah” depending on the ending syllable of the name. adding that suffix to the end of a name conveys closeness and intimacy between people. I’ve chosen to substitute it for “dear” to make things sound more natural in English. it’s not an exact match, but it’ll have to do!

#moonlit throne #historical context

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