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starsainzjr · 4 months

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Lights, Camera, Action

Pairing: Lando Norris x director!reader Faceclaim: Gemma Chan

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yourusername posted a story

f1wags

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f1wags Meet YN YLN! YN is a successful Hollywood director and producer with movies like Barbie (producer), Boston Strangler (director), and Little Women (director) under her belt. Earlier this afternoon in a Tweet, a fan working as a makeup artist on an undisclosed movie set claimed to see McLaren driver Lando Norris on set with a bouquet of sunflowers.

An hour later YN posted a a picture of a bouquet of sunflowers to her Instagram story with the caption "Pleasant surprise at lunch 🥰" (pictured above). Could it just be a coincidence? Sure. But we may soon have a new WAG in the paddock!

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marissa.lancaster4 Hi! I'm the fan that posted that Tweet. Because of the NDAs that I have signed as a part of my employment I cannot say what movie I am working on nor who the director is. But I can confirm after speaking with several of my coworkers that it was Lando I saw on set earlier today.

f1wags Please DM me if you have any more information that you can share!

mickieslaren Am I the only one that gets a bit weirded out by how we treat celebrities' love lives like this? Maybe Lando was visiting a friend or something. Either way it's none of our business what he was doing on set

landoslove It is a bit odd but, then again, both Lando and YN live in the public eye. There are always going to be little things like this that get scrutinized mickieslaren I just wish they could have a bit of privacy is all landoslove That makes sense. But this is out of our control

nowinsnorris YN is literally so stunning. Lando has some serious game if this is true

landoslove He's trying so hard to beat the norizz allegations

yourusername Hollywood

Liked by florencepugh, americaferrara, simuliu and 509,201 others

yourusername Halfway through filming! I have a never ending supply of sunsets and sunflowers 🌅🌻

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florencepugh Come to my hotel room I have a mini champagne bottle I can't get rid of by myself

yourusername I'm omw simuliu Am I invited? florencepugh Sure we need someone to supervise I suppose

americaferrara Go do incredible things! Cannot wait to get my eyes on this once its done

yourusername There's a bucket of popcorn with your name on it!

landoslove Sunflowers she says? 👀

nowinsnorris She's not as slick as she thinks she is

haveyougotpubesyet No bc I'm confident Lando would follow YN around like a lost puppy in the paddock

landoslove I cannot wait for this to get proven real mickieslaren Or we could just leave them alone and let them live their lives haveyougotpubesyet We're not harming them, just having meaningless fun trying to connect invisible dots landoslove Yeah. We're not, like, cyber bullying them or anything mickieslaren I'm just saying it probably can't feel great to have random people poking around in your love life

landonorris Santa Monica, California

Liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 782,293 others

landonorris Ready to rock 🤘🏎

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oscarpiastri We really need a McLaren emoji

landonorris 🍑? oscarpiastri I'm taking your phone away landonorris 😨

carlossainz55 Welcome back to the real world

landonorris I don't like it I wanna go back charles_leclerc We have the easiest lives ever get it together. Both of you landonorris Yes, father. Carlos come get your teammate carlossainz55 Nah, this could get fun

landoslove SANTA MONICA

landoslove YN just posted from Santa Monica

nowinsnorris This is me not getting my hopes up buuuuut YN is a director and she lives in California... landoslove Lalalalala I can't hear anything lalalalala

yourusername The Outback

Liked by simuliu, florencepugh, americaferrara and 600,338 others

yourusername Out of the studio for the back half! So unbelievably happy to be back in Australia 🦘🌏

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simuliu Yeah yeah pretty pictures can you come kill the spider in my room now please?

simuliu YN I'm serious, I've been texting you for 30 minutes I know you're seeing these simuliu YN IM NO LONGER ASKING yourusername @/florencepugh do you hear anything? florencepugh Nope. All quiet. Not a peep simuliu Very funny. When I die who are you going to get to finish your movie? yourusername I am on my way to humanely get the scary spider out of your room and put it outside simuliu Hurry up it's staring at me florencepugh With how many eyes?

nowinsnorris I'm already in love with her. I might love her more than I love Lando

landoslove YN YLN - Daniel Ricciardo team up 👀

ynsaction I've never been one to gatekeep but if these F1 delulus keep coming near my wife I will actually lose my mind

yn.florence No literally! She is a feminist icon who has said multiple times in interviews that she's not looking for a partner and focusing on directing and producing. Pls stop shoving her into a WAG box ynsaction I'll always welcome more YN fans but every other word in these comments is about Lando Norris. I'm about to scream landoslove Hi, sorry isn't feminism about women being able to do whatever they want? YN is allowed to change her mind if she met the right person yn.florence If you'd been paying attention you'd know the last interview she made her wishes clear in was a week ago which, according to the calendar, is after people started trying to tie her to Nowins or whatever his name is

landonorris Australia

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landonorris Good to be back! We'll continue to work and push and get stronger as the season goes on. Thanks for having me, Australia! 🦘

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oscarpiastri The garage used to be so quiet

landonorris You missed me, admit it

carlossainz55 Bit rusty there, mate

landonorris Says the man who got his third consecutive P4 finish. You ever gonna bump up to the podium? carlossainz55 At least I finished in the points charles_leclerc Guys I cannot keep doing this please

landoslove My boy is back and better than ever

haveyougotpubesyet He looked so happy to be back!

nowinsnorris I'm gonna have to change my username this year, aren't I?

landoslove YES YOU ARE norizz481 Here's hoping I get to change mine too landoslove YOU'RE BOTH GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE USERNAMES I'M SPEAKING IT INTO THE UNIVERSE

yourusername Perth, Australia

Liked by florencepugh, simuliu, americaferrara and 600,495 others

yourusername A week and a half left of filming and I cannot wait to celebrate all we've accomplished with these two! Behind the scenes dump coming soon 😉

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americaferrara Congrats all of you! So so unbelievably proud

yourusername Wish you could've been along with us on this ride! See you soon my love

florencepugh My favorite project in a long time! Let's finish this out strong!

simuliu No not that picture 😭

yourusername Listen, it's too good not to share with the world simuliu I'm a superhero, I don't need this kind of harassment yourusername Cope

ynsaction This one is going to be so so good I'm physically vibrating I need it

yn.florence Mother! She's going to win yet another Oscar for this one, I can feel it

ynsaction Our girl don't need no child race car driver

nowinsnorris I'm becoming such a huge fan of YN. She and Lando would be perfect for each other

landoslove Shhhhh you'll scare the fragile film girlies ynsaction God, the f1 delulus are back. I was hoping we got rid of them yn.florence I don't think we're that lucky

f1wags Perth, Australia

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f1wags Picture taken of Lando this morning in Perth, Australia coming out of a florist shop. Not pictured is a bouquet of sunflowers. This is the second time this month that Lando has been spotted with a bouquet of sunflowers.

Lando has been linked to director YN YLN who is wrapping up her new film in Perth. Only time will tell if YN posts some sunflowers in the coming days 👀

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haveyougotpubesyet He is the definition of boyfriend material I swear to god

landoslove Getting closer and closer to beating the norizz allegations

landoslove IS HE BRINGING HER SWEETS TOO??? This boy is going to be the death of me

nowinsnorris What do I need to do to get myself a Lando

mickieslaren Just reminding everyone that Lando does in fact have sisters who were in attendance at the race this weekend and may also enjoy getting sunflowers from their brother

landoslove Jesus, take your negativity away from us who are trying to have fun mickieslaren Yeah it's fun for you now but what about Lando who is trying to go about his day without having some delusional fangirl losing their mind over him buying sunflowers? If you were really a fan of his you would let him live his life landoslove He's a celebrity! His fans are just trying to connect to him mickieslaren When I hear that Lando has gotten a restraining order against a fan I will not be surprised when you suddenly get very quiet

yourusername posted a story

yourusername Hollywood

Liked by americaferrara, florencepugh, landonorris and 671,209 others

yourusername This is where the fun begins 🎞 Three months of editing coming up

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florencepugh Im omw with more coffee

yourusername I love you

americaferrara Ahh keep the Excedrin close by

yourusername There's a whole bottle in the corner

simuliu I hope you're making me look good

yourusername Yes, I'm including the scene where the spider crawled up your arm and you screamed like a baby simuliu You're definitely my favorite director, I love working with you yourusername You are also definitely the star of this movie and have more screen time than Flo simuliu Hey, I will always be willing to have less screen time than Flo

ynsaction YES I have been missing YN editing content so bad recently

ynsaction She is such a mood when she's editing she gets so unhinged

landoslove Unhinged YN editing plus Lando being generally unhinged 👀 ynsaction Jesus give it a rest already

yn.florence I, for one, am chasing to focus on incoming unhinged YN posts

nowinsnorris LANDO'S IN THE LIKES EVERYONE

landonorris China

Liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, yourusername and 801,387 others

landonorris So close to a podium finish! We'll make adjustments as needed and push on. See you in Miami!

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oscarpiastri So my days of quiet garage are definitely over?

landonorris You're stuck with me forever, mate carlossainz55 Good luck, Oscar landonorris WOW

landonorris @/charles_leclerc your teammate is being mean to me

charles_leclerc You think I have control over him?

ynsaction Not YN in the likes I had such high hopes

landoslove Genuine question; why are you against her finding someone she likes to be with? ynsaction I'm not against her finding someone she likes to be with, I'm against all Lando's fans trying to shove her into a WAG box when she's spoken so much about not wanting a partner at the moment. Especially when it was as soon as a month ago landoslove Okay, that's valid. But we're not trying to shove her into a box. This is just harmless shipping. I'm sure you do it with fictional characters you like ynsaction YN is an idol to me. I'm protective over her, I'm sorry if I've been bitchy landoslove I've been bitchy too, I apologize as well

mickieslaren I still don't like pushing into celebrity love lives

yourusername Miami, Florida

Liked by florencepugh, simuliu, landonorris and 622,118 others

yourusername First time out of the studio since editing started. Thank you @/f1 for hosting me!

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f1 Anything for our favorite director!

florencepugh Did you see The Guy???? 👀

yourusername It's not too late to make the movie about Simu simuliu YES... I mean, yeah did you see The Guy???? 👀 yourusername You're both blacklisted from my film sets

mclaren Give us a heads up next time you come! We'll set you up in the garage!

yourusername Oh that would be incredible! Thank you so so much!

ynsaction She always looks so adorable I am in love with her

yn.florence Mother is Mothering

ynsaction all hail

haveyougotpubesyet McLaren sipping after her too now

ynsaction Who wouldn't simp after her tbh

landoslove Just soft launch already

landoslove Florence and Simu chirping her about seeing The Guy I'm DYING

nowinsnorris The Guy is 100% Lando. It has to be at this point

lando.jpg

Liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, yourusername and 379,177 others

lando.jpg Hangin'

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charles_leclerc You caught me so off guard

carlossainz55 Best picture in the middle tbh

yourusername posted a story

yourusername Monaco

Liked by landonorris, florencepugh, simuliu, and 801,836 others

yourusername Beautiful day in Monaco made even more beautiful by this wonderful boy! Congratulations, @/landonorris I'm so proud of you!

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florencepugh THE GUY. SHE PULLED THE GUY.

simuliu YESSSS NO MORE LATE NIGHTS DRUNK TALKING ABOUT HIM

yourusername Way to call me out, guys, thanks for that. You do remember I'm technically your boss right? florencepugh Movie wrapped, love. You can't tell us what to do anymore simuliu At least until we sign on for another one of your projects

landonorris Awww you drunk talked about me 🥰

yourusername I'll chase you

landonorris Monaco

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landonorris I have the best date for the party @/yourusername

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yourusername Best weekend ever

landonorris Only because you were here

oscarpiastri Here's hoping the garage will be quiet again

landonorris No shot but nice try yourusername I'll do my best to keep him quiet for you oscarpiastri YN is my new favorite

lando.jpg

Liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 241,966 others

lando.jpg You have a movie coming out tomorrow. I am so incredibly proud of you @/yourusername. Everything we've been through together, I cannot believe what a kind, strong, beautiful woman you are. I love you, I can't wait to see what you're going to do next

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yourusername I love you so so much, darling. Thank you for being there through everything

lando.jpg My dream woman

florencepugh Yes!!!! Drinks on Simu at the afterparty!

simuliu Drinks on me!!!

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All photos from Pinterest, Instagram, or Google Images

#lando norris #lando norris social media au #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #f1 fanfic #f1 social media au #f1 x reader #f1 x you

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lcandothisallday · 11 months

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Court Side Butterflies Part 1 - Jack Harlow x f!reader

this actually SUCKS but oh well. Might make a part 2

photo credit to @a-moment-captured !!

You walk under the tunnel with your best friend, making your way through the swarms of people to get your court side seat. Your best friend was dating a player on the Boston Celtics—Jaylen Brown to be exact, which warranted the both of you sitting court side to support her man.

With it being a game 7, you knew this game was going to be tense and you only hoped the Celtics would win so that your best friend could celebrate with her boyfriend. If it were up to you, you didn’t really care who wins—only wishing for an exciting game.

“I’m gonna go speak with Jaylen real quick,” your friend mused. “Wish him luck and all.” You nod and smirk at your love sick friend. “Wish him luck for me too!” you exclaim as she walks away.

There was still about 15 minutes until the game officially started so you decided to take your seat and chill on your phone in the meantime.

While you’re scrolling through Instagram, two quite large people walk in front of you—one of them nearly stepping on your toes.

“Oh sweetheart I’m sorry!” the man exclaimed. “Did I step on your toes?—”

You look up at the bald man and shake your head with a laugh. “No no you’re good,” you reassure. Your line of sight trails to see the man going to take a seat next to him, your eyes going slightly wide when you realize it was Jack Harlow.

Jack’s dad sits next you, prompting him to make small talk. “Routing for the Celtics?”

“Yeah,” you confirm with a nod. “Here with my best friend—she’s dating Jaylen so I guess I gotta be supportive of the both of them,” you joke.

“Oh—are you not a basketball fan?” he chuckled in question.

“I am! It’s just been a long day,” you laugh.

“Jeez Dad—leave the poor girl alone. Probably doesn’t wanna talk to you all night,” Jack teased, causing his Dad to scoff playfully and for you to giggle.

“Jack,” he introduced, extending his hand towards you. “Y/N. It’s nice to meet you…and your Dad ” you reply with a smile.

Jack’s Dad smiled at the interaction before he leaned in close to his son, his voice low. “Wanna sit next to her?” he whispered in question. “She’s pretty—maybe you could get her number,” he mused, playing wingman.

Jack’s face heated up, his cheeks blushing with a tint of red. “Uh…not now. It’ll be too obvious. Plus she’s a model…to many eyes on us,” he whispered back a bit bashfully. He couldn’t deny that you were indeed beautiful and he would’ve loved the opportunity to talk more and get to know you— but there were simply too many eyes and cameras around to risk any annoying rumours that frankly he didn’t wanna deal with.

Soon enough, your friend makes her way back to her seat, leaning in close with a knowing smirk. “Jayson asked about youuuu,” she hummed matter of factly which Jack couldn’t help but overhear. While he loved Jayson and considered him a friend, the jealousy still bubbled within him. He knew it wasn't warranted--after all he barely knew you but it didn't stop his feelings.

He was still intrigued to hear your response so he sat quietly, his dad also unknowingly doing the same.

You scoff at your friends remark. “He's too hot and cold with me...until he wants to commit then I'm not doing anything," you shrug.

You friend groaned, “oh come on y/n! He likes you—you like him—the sex is great apparently—”

“Oh my god!” you interrupt exclaiming. “Shut up! Just please shut up,” you groan, shaking your head in embarrassment. “That’s not something you can say in public with media and fans everywhere,” you mutter lowly.

Your friend shrugged. “I just want you to be happy.”

“How about I worry about that and you worry about cheering on your boyfriend,” you deadpan.

“Suite yourself.”

You sit quietly for the remainder of quarter, your arms crossed as you stared ahead with a stoic expression. You loved your friend but she can be a bit much at times.

When half time finally came around, your friend got up to comfort Jaylen for being down a couple points. “You coming?”she asked, more so wanting to know if you were going to talk to Jayson.

“Nah—I’m gonna stick here.” She simply nodded and headed off.

“Your friend seems like a handful,” Brian spoke to you with a chuckle, causing Jack’s eyes to widen. “Dad!” he scolded.

You however thought it was funny and began laughing. “She…she really is. I’m sorry you guys had to um…hear that,” you breath out shyly.

Jack licked his lips with a kind smile. “Don’t worry about it…my best friend Urban would’ve said worse,” he mused, trying to lighten the mood.

“Ok good to know it’s a universal experience,” you hum.

Brian smirked. “Hm—why don’t you two kiddos go grab us some drinks?” he suggested. Jack’s head snapped towards his dad, glaring at him while his cheeks turned red.

“Yeah why not,” you replied.

You and Jack walked side by side to the concession stand, him walking with his hands awkwardly in his pocket. “Your dad is very nice,” you began.

Jack scoffed playfully. “Nah—he’s tryna play matchmaker,” he laughed, shaking his head shamefully.

“Ohhhh I see,” you hum teasingly. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t working,” you confess, your cheeks burning up.

Jack grinned. “Damn—might need to have him work his magic more often,” he hummed.

You scoff in feigned offence. “Only if it works in my favour. Wouldn’t want him helping you get other girls.”

“Oh so you’re territorial huh?”

“What if I am?” you taunt in question.

“Fuuuck,” he laughed, his dimple appearing as he ran his hand through his hair. “I cant lie—that’s hot.”

“So tell me…if I ask you out,” Jack began nervously as he scratching the back of his neck. “Am I gonna have to worry about Jayson and his ‘great sex?’”

“I’m not seeing him anymore.”

Jack shook his head. “That’s not what you implied back there…if he committed…are you gonna commit back?” he asked, reiterating what you said to your friend earlier.

You sighed. “I’m sure I could ask you the same thing—with all the girls around you,” you point out.

“Nahhh—don’t do that. Don’t gaslight me and twist it back on me,” Jack laughed while shaking his head. “When you figure it out—I really would love to take you out…maybe even show you what great sex really is,” he smirked.

“Deal.”

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow x you #jackharlow

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ghostfacd · 9 months

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ּ ִ⠀🫧 LIVVY ! | G. PERREAULT AU

au masterlist

❤︎ introduction to yn olivia “livvy” hughes and how her and gabe came to be!

Y/N Olivia “Livvy” Hughes is not only the only girl Hughes but also the youngest Hughes

She was born a year after Luke, she’s a 2004 baby which means she’s older than Gabe by a year!

Gabe and Y/N met because Gabe was going on a Princeton tour to see if Princeton was the right fit for him (it wasn’t, at first)

When Gabe first saw Y/N, he absolutely fell head over heels. Kinda wished he picked Princeton just so he can see her pretty face everyday

Y/N’s middle name is Olivia, which is why people call her “Livvy” It’s a nickname that Quinn, Jack, and Luke have called her since they were all babies so it’s definitely very special to Y/N

Y/N is extremely smart, she was a valedictorian in high school and had high honors. Our Princeton girly.

Gabe actually made the first move and he went all the way to Princeton again just so he can ask Y/N if she wanted to come watch his hockey game (she of course said yes, how could she say no when he went all this way just to ask)

Luke is very protective over Y/N, he calls her “my livvy”

Quinn, Jack, and Luke all don’t know that Y/N and Gabe are dating (they’d probably lose their minds if they did know)

It’s not like Y/N or Gabe are ashamed of each other—they know how people can be so Y/N proposed they kept it a secret for a while

Gabe and Y/N both have private instas where they post one another.

Literally the “he fell first and he fell harder” 🥹🥹🥹

Always teasing Livvy for being a cougar but he secretly loves it because he gets babied by her

His friends always tease him too saying “damn Perreault, how’d you pull a hot girl and a sophomore?”

Gabe is gonna tell everyone he went to Princeton because it’s an Ivy and he’s cool like that but the truth is,, he was already set on going to Boston College until Livvy came into his life.

So this boy was just like “bye bye Boston college” and confirmed his stay at Princeton

LIVVY AND GABE ARE JUST SO CUTE, they’re always attached to the hips and Gabe doesn’t look at any other girl in his direction

He’s the type to be like “uh sorry I have a gf” to any female who literally could be like asking for class notes 😭

Always mentioning Livvy somehow, which makes his friends be like dawg are you serious this is the fifth time

The Hughes brothers always checks up on Livvy like literally all the time, Jack and Luke are just happy she’s in Jersey so they can spy on her (leave your sister alone!!)

Livvy calls Quinn “Quinny”, Jack “Rowdy” and Luke “Moosey” and they all love that

Ellen knows about Gabe and she’s very supportive, she doesn’t tell her sons because Livvy asked her not to and Ellen respects that

Livvy goes to all her boyfriend’s hockey games with his jersey on and she’s there when he gets drafted!! She has a mask on so people (especially her brothers) don’t recognize her

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happilysmythe · 5 days

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❥ 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣

trent frederic.

word count: 4.0k

warning: explicit content

"let it happen (it's gonna feel so good)" — tame impala

A/N: this fic was inspired by the locker room raw of trent from december of 2022, gifed above. if you’d like to watch it, you can here. enjoy, and as always, happy reading!

- - -

Being a reporter isn’t all it’s made out to be when you’re harboring something that could put your career at risk.

Yet that’s exactly what you were doing, working as a journalist for the Boston Bruins.

Being in the presence of sweaty, large hockey players was something you’d inevitably have to get used to when working the field that you did. However, you never seemed to struggle with it. When people asked, you always told them that you’d simply set any minor attractions aside and focus on your work, rather than your desires. It was easy.

Until Trent Frederic came into the picture.

Something about him caught your attention the first time you stood in his proximity amongst the other reporters. He wasn’t attractive in the conventional way you knew the other players were. Most people would say he was “cute”, or “good-looking”, but that was the extent. So maybe that was it. Maybe it was his eyes, or his freckles, or the curls that poked out from under his hats.

Or maybe it was simply how fucking gorgeous he was to you, regardless of anyone else’s opinion.

That being said, you were frustrated; frustrated with yourself for letting his appearance get to you, even though you fought yourself daily for years to make sure it never happened. You knew that, at some point, someone would get the best of you, and unfortunately, he just happened to be that someone. You wanted to blame him. To take some of the pressure off of yourself for once. You wanted him and his goddamned charm to be at fault instead of you.

It’s the way he looks at you, you’d tell yourself. He’s trying to get a rise. He has to be. After all this time, you can’t be that weak.

Right?

But you knew that you were. You were weak for him. And it was just about the most unprofessional thing you could do in your position.

“What do you think it’s going to be like—to be in this type of environment?” the first reporter’s voice sounded, blinking you out of your already nervous state as you stood beside Trent.

“Uh, it kinda reminds me of a Penn State,” he replied, hand coming up to wipe the sweat from his forehead. “Or kinda like the, uh…What is it, Yost Arena in Michigan?”

The reporter nodded to confirm his statement. “I like those two rinks, so…hopefully, uh—thought we always,” he paused to breathe, “always played well there, so…hopefully it’s similar.”

Then it was your turn to speak up, and when you cleared your throat, his head pivoted in your direction. His eyes followed your voice and landed on you, his chest rising and falling as he awaited your question.

“Are there any adjustments you had to make where you’re playing in a,” you hesitated as you watched his tongue slip past his parted lips, tracing a line from the center of his bottom lip to the corner of his mouth. Your mind did all but ignore this and his audible, heavy breaths. You quickly blinked out of the state.

“In a smaller arena?” you finally continued in a humiliating attempt to sound put-together. “Or—”

“I don’t think so, I think when you’re playing you really only see the first,” he gestured his hand, “ten rows and up, so I think it’ll be fine. About the same.”

His gaze lingered on you for a split second longer than it should’ve before he turned the other way to face Sophia as she asked the next question. And it was then that you were certain he’d picked up on you.

Not to mention him abruptly cutting you off.

A few minutes passed before the cameras cut and the small crowd dispersed, leaving only him and you standing alone in front of his stall. But his voice stopped you before you could even manage a step in the other direction.

“Hey,” he called out calmly, and when you turned back around you were met with the sight of him standing nonchalantly, arms folded in front of him. “I don’t think we’re done yet.”

“…Yeah, we are. We already finished the media, no?”

“The media’s done,” he spoke, straightening himself out and taking a step toward you. “But we’re not done.”

“Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, Trent, but I have places to be. So if you’ll kindly excuse me—”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

You were taken aback, no doubt, but knew that you had to oblige him whether you wanted to or not. So you let out a sigh and shook your head.

He slipped off his padding, then silently jerked his head to the side, motioning for you to come with him as he walked down the outside hallway and into the nearest empty room. He promptly shut the door behind him, then walked toward you.

“What is it?” you finally piped up.

“Do you have a thing for me?”

“Wow, okay,” you scoffed, irritation lacing your defensive tone. “Do you have some sort of ego issue, or?”

“Do not play dumb right now,” he rasped, leaning closer. “You don’t think I’ve noticed the looks? The staring? The stuttering?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” you rebutted, nostrils flared as you swallowed thickly.

“Oh, so you mean to tell me that I wasn’t just saving your ass back there?”

You sighed, finally letting your guard down as you lowered your voice. “Fine,” you admitted through clenched teeth. “I have a thing for you.”

And just like that, the corner of his lips twitched just slightly, as if he were suppressing a smirk. He finally leaned back and gave you room to breathe, so you seized the opportunity and took a long breath. He remained silent, waiting for you to elaborate.

“No matter how bad I want to act on it, I can’t, because I’m already in deep enough shit for wanting you in the first place,” you flatly explained. “But if we ever got caught for something like that…I’d lose my damn job, Trent. The job that I worked my ass off trying to get, and the one that’s already at enough of a fucking risk because of you.”

You shook your head disappointedly. “So sorry if I’m not getting my words right the first time.”

You brushed past him, trying to make your way toward the door but were quickly brought to a standstill when he spoke up.

“You think you’re the only one in that situation?”

You turned back around to face him, brows knit together in confusion as he stepped closer.

“And before you up and leave, I need to make something clear to you,” he spoke.

“Trent—”

“If I wasn’t attracted to you, I wouldn’t be enabling you like I do. And I sure as hell wouldn’t be trying to help you,” he told you promptly. “So think about that next time you want to think you’re the only one with problems.”

“God, Trent, that’s—this whole thing is beyond unprofessional. On both ends,” you scoffed in disbelief. “And you know that even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do anything with you because it would put me at risk.”

Of course, you wanted to. You were lying straight through your teeth. It was clear as day to Trent, too, because the subtleties told him otherwise—the hint of hesitation lacing your tone and the unease in your expression. But, to be fair, it was difficult to mask. You were already struggling with how inappropriate the whole conversation was.

And after all, nobody said it was easy to stop imagining what someone would taste like.

He stepped closer and your feet carried you backward until you came into contact with the wall behind you. Your head tilted back as you looked up at him, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“Not to mention it’s a,” you hesitated, “—a conflict of interest.”

“Write whatever the hell you want about me, because it won’t change how drawn to you I am.” A large hand gently placed itself on your hip, “And it won’t change that I’d take that chance with you.”

The tension in your face softened, sincerity bleeding through his voice as he spoke to you. You took a long, deep breath and—against any remaining shred of logic in your conflicted mind—lifted your hand to his chest, slowly trailing upward until it reached the curls on the back of his neck.

“If we got caught,” you reiterated, “you’d be the player who hooked up with some reporter…And I’d be the slut who couldn’t keep it professional.”

You softened your voice, “I’ve worked too hard to let it all go to waste, Trent.”

“Sounds more like a societal issue than an us issue,” he shrugged, “and last I checked…two adults deciding to get a little physical isn’t exactly illegal.” His voice shifted to a low rasp, “But I can’t wrap my head around why you’re still here, because someone else in your current position wouldn’t still be here unless they’d started to change their mind.”

“God, you’re frustrating,” you muttered. Warm breath hit your lips, forcing you to realize how close he’d become. Your eyes watched as the remaining beads of sweat dripped slowly down his face. “I haven’t considered anything,” you lied.

“Then tell me to stop.”

Your conscience told you to say it; that stupid guilty conscience that you were admittedly fucking tired of. Normally, it would’ve forced you to rattle off all of the reasons you could’ve said it—why you should’ve—but it didn’t. Because every other part of you wanted the complete opposite. Every consequence seemed to evacuate your thoughts, with Trent conveniently replacing each one.

So you finally turned your mind off and let your body take control.

His lips roughly connected with yours and you didn’t protest. You were quickly pinned to the wall by his hips as his fingers untucked your shirt, hooking under the fabric and slipping it up and over your head, allowing it to hit the floor, and his lips hungrily returned to yours. He was too intoxicating to deny, and the feeling of his tongue as it rolled slowly over yours only solidified that fact.

You reached up and pried the baseball cap off his head, tossing it aside and running your hand through his hair, transferring the moisture from his curls to your fingers, beginning to dampen them. Your other hand slipped under the fabric of his shirt, peeling it from his upper body to reveal his toned physique underneath, which you’d only ever caught small glances of. And boy, did it not disappoint.

When his lips left yours, you whimpered at the loss of contact, but they soon returned to your skin, peppering it with kisses as he trailed a path from your shoulder up to your neck, spending extra time there. Your hands traveled to his bare back, palms resting on his shoulder blades as your head tilted to the side, granting him more access.

“We’re—fuck,” you panted, eyes screwed shut, “we’re screwed if someone hears us.”

“That’s why we’re not near the door,” he muttered, kissing up to your jawline. “And also why we’re going to have to be quiet. Sound good?”

You nodded softly, then felt his lips move to your throat, eyes fixated on him as he reached your collarbones. At his movement, your hands lifted and moved to the wall beside you, palms flattened against it. He continued the path downward and lowered himself to his knees. Soft lips could now be felt on your stomach, burning the skin in their path.

Fingers curled into the waistband of the leather skirt hugging your hips and swiftly removed it, with it the lacy material beneath. The cool air of the empty room hit your exposed skin, but you didn’t pay it any mind.

It was all too much when his hands pried your thighs open so he could slip between them.

His warm breath grazed the sensitive skin between your legs. You knew how close he was. Then you were proved right as he gently pressed a trail of kisses from the inside of your thigh up to the flesh between them. His tongue parted your folds, dragging itself up and down slowly, gathering your taste on it.

He let out a groan of approval when your hand darted out, fingers tangling in his hair as you pushed him closer. You wanted—no, needed more, especially when his mouth wrapped around your clit, sucking it gently as his calloused hands wrapped around your thighs, pulling you into him.

He lapped at you hungrily, building you up and forcing you to chase your release. He was no stranger to being between a girl’s legs. He could’ve gone hours with someone’s thighs wrapped around his head. But he never needed to.

And you were going to face the same fate.

“Shit,” you sighed weakly, running your fingers through his damp hair. Heavy breaths filled his ears, your voice breaking through and turning them into soft whimpers.

“Mm,” he hummed against your skin, and your hips slowly, painfully rolled, the grip on your thighs making it near impossible for you to move them enough to give yourself the relief you craved.

But he took this as a sign, holding you tighter as he delved his tongue into you, steadily moving it in and out as he brought you to your breaking point. The thrill of being at such a risk only fueled his fire. Trent always refused to pull away until a girl was properly satisfied. The payoff was as rewarding as ever to him. So why deny someone the pleasure that you were giving them? He never understood it.

Besides, he always got off on seeing a girl come undone so fast.

His name fell from your parted lips in a moan as he flattened his tongue against your clit, that being the final push over the edge. Expert flicks of his tongue worked your body through your release, prolonging the process, and he began to taste you on the tip of it. He collected every last bit, moaning softly in satisfaction as he swallowed.

Finally, he pulled away, pressing a final kiss to your skin before releasing his grip on your thighs and standing up slowly. The grin he donned as he straightened out burned a hole through any remainder of the facade that masked your weakness; the one that made you give in to him unwillingly, without as much as an afterthought. It was too late for regrets. And you didn’t particularly seem to have any.

He watched as your chest rose and fell with each heavy breath as your eyes seemingly fixated on his lips. His thumb came up and wiped the corner of his mouth, then moved in front of his lips for him to lick it clean.

“Keep staring, why don’t ya,” he teased, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“You’ve got some nerve saying that when I could just walk right out,” you quipped.

“Then do it,” he laughed, confidence lacing his expression. “Nobody’s stopping you,” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “But you’d be running quite the risk walking out of here with practically no clothes on, hm?”

“Yeah, as if that’s the only reason I’m not going anywhere,” you rolled your eyes, knowing full well what would happen if you were to waltz out of the room in the state you were in.

Luckily for you and him, there wasn’t a doubt in your mind that you’d be moving from your spot.

Weakened legs encircled his waist as he hoisted you up, and your arms wrapped around his neck. His hand reached between you and slid the thin fabric of his pants down just far enough to adjust himself. The other gripped the underside of your thigh, that and the wall supporting your weight as he held you up.

“You think anyone’s looking for us?” you muttered, the pads of your fingers dancing along the skin of his back.

“Probably,” he answered quietly as he lined himself up, and you started to feel the pressure between your legs. “But I don’t care.”

Then, he loosened his hold on you, sliding your body down the wall as he forcefully lowered you onto him. Your lips parted in momentary shock as he stretched your walls. The all-new sensation promptly clouded your vision. Crescent-shaped marks appeared on his skin when your nails dug into it. The size of his wide cock challenged that of any other man you had the unfortunate pleasure of fucking. They made you feel empty. But Trent filled you just right. He was almost too big.

Almost.

When you finally came to, your eyes darted toward his face, quickly meeting his in a forceful gaze. You tried to steady your breaths, but your body refused to allow it until you were fully adjusted to him. Instead, you elicited what sounded like whimpers. And of course, that only drove him more wild.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he groaned, brows knitting together as he pulled you up, adjusting you to be more firm in his grasp. “All that professionalism turn you into a prune or something?”

“Shut up,” you retorted, having a sharp intake of breath as he sunk you back down.

He laughed in response. “Mad that I’m right?”

“No,” you were quick to deny. “You’re just,” you hesitated, then cut yourself off sharply, “—just shut up.”

“Sure thing, Miss Reporter.”

That was enough verbal volleying for him and he pulled back, waiting a moment before pushing himself back in. The movement stifled you dead, practically severing your vocal cords as your head fell forward and your forehead promptly connected with his bare shoulder. He groaned in approval as your sensitive walls constricted around his length, his thrusts moving at a slow pace to allow your body to adjust.

Your previous release worked to lubricate the place you were joined, giving him leeway to pick up speed as he smoothly slid in and out, hitting places your mind couldn’t have possibly imagined he—or anyone—could. And Trent, on the flip side, was relishing in how perfectly you enveloped him; how fucking good the acute pressure felt each time he pumped his hips and buried himself to the hilt.

Desperately you clung to him, using some of the strength left in you to keep yourself stable, while the rest went toward forcing yourself into silence. But soon, there wasn’t enough to do both, and his shoulder wasn’t enough to prevent your moans from bouncing off the walls of the small space you inhabited. And if they weren’t taken care of soon, they’d bleed through the walls, and the exact fear that almost drove you out of the room in the first place would have become a reality.

So he whispered your name—piquing your attention enough to lift your head—and pushed his lips to yours, enveloping your mouth in a deep kiss that was enough to keep your noises at bay. At least, for the time being.

Rough palms pressed firmly into your thighs, a grip so firm that the fingers were likely to leave marks. But you didn’t seem to care, nor did you make an effort to stop it from happening. You’d be angry at it later. It wasn’t exactly a prominent worry in your mind while he sharply fucked into you, giving you as much as you could take.

And take him, you could.

His tongue slipped into your mouth and grazed your teeth as your hand snaked into his wet curls and fisted them, hard. He quickly removed his hands from your thighs and pressed them into the small of your back, arms pulling you impossibly closer as your legs tightened around his waist. The movement altered your position and shifted him inside of you, which forced him to hit your sweet spot, prying a moan from deep within your stomach.

It wasn’t often that a guy was rough with you, but he was. And whether you’d admit it or not, you liked it.

“Right—right there,” was all you could manage.

At your word, he sped up, cock burying itself as far into you as your bodies would allow, soft grunts leaving his mouth as he exhaled. With each thrust, his name fell from your lips in soft whimpers as if it were a prayer. And then, the culmination of his hands on you, the noises he made, and the feeling of his cock twitching inside of you as it craved its release brought you to yours.

The pleasure that washed over you as you came apart around him elicited a long, breathy moan from your throat. Once again, your vision was blackened, mind lost in a repeating loop of the only palpable thought it was able to conjure up, which was how incredible he felt from this angle, fucking you through it. And even when he brought his hand to your mouth to silence you, you allowed it without forethought.

Soon after, the pressure of you contracting around his length, paired with the sound of his name ringing in the form of your voice brought him to his breaking point. He shot into you, thoroughly coating your inner walls in a layer of hot, white liquid. You moaned weakly into his palm, taking him with a strength you would’ve been sure you didn’t have left in you. You maintained it for a few moments longer until his movements finally halted. He stilled inside and gently removed his hand from your mouth, a loud gasp filling his ears as you breathed air into your lungs.

The only sound occupying the small, dark room was that of heavy breaths, the walls absorbing the noise and preventing it from reaching the outside. Finally, Trent carefully pulled out and lowered you back to the ground, and you were grateful that his hands kept a loose hold on you for the support you knew you required.

His hands roamed your sides before finally removing themselves from your body. He pulled his pants back up to his waist and promptly adjusted himself, then bent down and picked up your discarded clothes, giving them back to you as he came back up. You thanked him quietly before stepping into the thin fabric, slipping it up your legs in unison with the leather skirt before returning the blouse to your body. Meanwhile, Trent grabbed his shirt and tugged it on, the taut fabric hugging his upper half as he moved back into your field of view.

“Hey,” he finally spoke up, prompting your head to tilt up in his direction. “You okay?”

“Mhm,” you hummed in response, arms folded as your hands rubbed them. “This…this was a one-time thing, Trent. To get it out of our systems.”

“I know,” he nodded, “but I don’t think it’s gonna stay that way.”

“Trent, if anyone ever—”

“I know,” he cut you off, lowering his voice to a near whisper as he stepped closer. “I know. But you can’t deny that it felt good to give in.”

Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip in contemplation as you considered his words, then exhaled deeply through your nose. “Yeah,” you dejectedly sighed.

His finger tilted your chin up. “Just think about it, ‘mk?”

You silently nodded and turned to the door, silently making your way over as he followed closely behind you. The air was tense. It had undoubtedly thickened since your bodies parted. You stopped in front of the door, the soft noise of his breathing distracting you. Knowing his proximity to you prevented you from opening the door just yet.

And before your head could catch up with your body, you turned around swiftly and kissed him.

“There’s not much to think about, anyway,” you muttered softly, bringing a hand to his chest and trailing it up to the back of his neck. Your fingers gently brushed the tips of his curls, thumb pressing lightly against his skin just below them. “I’ve already made my decision,” you quietly added.

“Yeah?”

To compartmentalize. Let your body decide what it wanted, regardless of the consequences.

And it wanted him.

#boston bruins #trent frederic #fanfic #trent frederic fic #boston bruins imagine #hockey #trent frederic imagine #hockey fic #trent frederic smut #trent frederic x reader

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year

Text

Lavender - Ch. 10

You take Joel and Tommy around the QZ and reconnect while Andrew has misgivings. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-9 found on Tumblr here.

Main pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Length: 9.1K (sorryyyyyyyy)

Warnings: Smut :D YES FRIENDS JOEL IS BACK SO WE GET SMUT Oral sex, female receiving; unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up kids); no use of Y/N. Minors, DNI. 18+ only

“You’re not OK.”

You were staring at the doors where they’d just taken Joel and Tommy. You couldn’t stop watching the doors.

“Hey.”

Andrew’s hand went over your shoulder.

“Yeah?” You said, glancing at him for a moment before looking back at the doors.

“C’mon,” he said. “We should get you out of here, you’re not OK.”

You looked up at him.

“Can I stay with you?” You asked.

“Sure you don’t want to do your place?” He frowned. “I’ll go there…”

“Yours is closer,” you said.

“By a block!”

You shrugged. He sighed.

“Yeah, my place.”

He put his arm around you and tucked you against his side, staying mercifully quiet on the walk to his apartment.

Joel was here. In Boston. He was alive, he’d survived all this time. He was here. Sarah wasn’t.

“Hey Andrew,” his roommate, Steve, was on the couch, playing a GameBoy. He did a double take when he saw you. “Doc! Haven’t seen you in a bit. Thought you guys were doing better on the codependency thing…”

“Not the night for it, dude,” Andrew cut him off.

“No, it’s fine,” you sighed, flopping on an arm chair that you’d help them fix. You’d had to figure out an upholstery needle for that one. “You’re right. I’m just a shit show of a person at the moment.”

“What happened?” He asked, glancing back at you before going back to the GameBoy.

“Joel’s here,” Andrew said, putting a glass of whiskey in your hand and sitting on the floor by the couch.

“Wait what?” Steve turned and stared at you. The GameBoy made a sad sound. “Aw shit, that was my last life…”

“Sorry,” you said, taking a sip of the liquor. It was bad. You didn’t care. You looked in the direction of the clinic.

“The fuck did Joel come from?” Steve asked, sitting up and tossing the GameBoy on their gouged coffee table. “Five years and he just appears out of the ether? It’s THE Joel, right? The one you’ve been looking for since the outbreak started?”

“Yup,” you took another drink.

“And you’ve seen him,” he said. “It’s not like you heard about him showing up in like… Atlanta or some shit, right?”

“Oh he’s here,” Andrew said, sounding none too happy about it. You frowned. “In holding at the clinic as we speak, had to pry him off her to get him to go back…”

“You don’t like him,” you said it more than asked it. Andrew sighed.

“I don’t not like him,” he said. He was choosing his words carefully.

“Then what’s the deal?” You asked. “I thought you’d be happy for me.”

“I’m happy he’s alive,” he shrugged.

“But?”

“But,” he sighed, looking up at you, clenching his jaw for a moment. “Look, I talk to a lot more smugglers than you do.”

“Yeah, I really wish you wouldn’t do that…” you said but he ignored you.

“I know what people do outside the QZ to get by,” he said. “None of it is good. If he’s made it this long, it’s because he’s done some shit. Bad shit.”

“What are you saying?” You frowned down at him.

“I’m saying,” he said slowly. “That the Joel you knew? Is probably long dead. Unless the Joel you knew was a killer. Because the one who showed up here is.”

“We’re killers, too, Andrew,” you said quietly. “I killed a lot of people to get us here.”

“You killed infected,” he corrected you. “I killed infected. That’s different, they’re dead men walking then. It’s a mercy killing. That’s not the kind of killing I’m talking about.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, shaking your head. “There’s no way…”

“He might have been a fucking raider for all we know,” he said.

“That’s harsh,” Steve said.

“It’s true,” Andrew replied. “Steve, you deal with smugglers all the time.”

“I cannot confirm or deny…” he replied but you cut him off.

“Come on, I work for FEDRA because I have no other options. I’m not a narc,” you rolled your eyes. “I know you buy pot, Steve.”

“Oh,” he said. “Then yeah, all the fucking time.”

“And what do they say about the outside?” Andrew asked. “About the people they trade with?”

“It’s… rough,” he said. “Even the smugglers have to do some shady shit. But that doesn’t mean he’s a raider…”

“He’s not a raider,” you snapped. “He’d never have put Sarah at risk like that…”

“Yeah and he showed up without her,” Andrew said. “Something killed her.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you snapped, jumping to your feet so you towered over him from his spot on the floor. “He’d have never done anything to hurt her, never would have let anything happen to her if he could do anything to stop it, he’d have died for that girl if he could have.”

“Old Joel, sure,” he shrugged, looking you dead in the eye. “You don’t know this Joel, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. It’s been a long five years. For everyone.”

You sat back down, staying on the edge of the chair and chugging the last of the shitty whiskey.

“I just don’t trust him with you,” he said, voice gentle. “You’re fragile…”

“No I’m not,” you snapped. “I’ve survived everything you have.”

“Emotionally fragile,” he replied. “You’re better than me that way.”

You snorted.

“By our powers combined, we’re almost a functioning person,” you joked. He laughed.

“I’m just saying, I’m worried the guy is going to wreck you,” he said. Steve laughed, Andrew smacked him. “Dude. Not like that.”

“Sorry,” he was still laughing. “Sorry, Doc!”

Andrew sighed.

“You know what I mean,” he said. “And I don’t want you suffering because you went in all open hearted to some guy you don’t actually know.”

“It’s Joel,” you said softly. He sighed.

“Yeah, I know it is.”

The three of you stayed up drinking for a bit, your eyes always drifting back toward the clinic, where Joel was.

“Alright, come on,” Andrew said eventually, half pulling you out of the chair. “You need to sleep, I know you’ve been going all day today and tomorrow’s going to be rough.”

“I’m not sure I’m going to be able to sleep,” you said, looking toward the clinic again.

“There’s nothing you can do for him right now,” he said gently. “And I think we can agree that the Joel you used to know would want you to get some sleep, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded.

“Then let’s go.”

You went to his room and got the pajamas out of the half drawer he’d left for you in the dresser.

“You know, if we’re actually aiming to break the codependency habit, we should probably not leave shit at each other’s apartments,” you said, changing with your backs to each other.

“We’re doing better than we were five years ago,” he said.

“A low bar indeed,” you said, getting in bed. He climbed in beside you. “Sorry in advance.”

“Yeah, I know what I’m getting into,” he said. “You do the same for me. Wake me up if you need it.”

He held his arms open and you tucked yourself against his chest.

“Same.”

There were planes falling from the sky again. You could smell burning jet fuel and the inhuman sound of infected was deafening, so loud you couldn’t move. You just fell to your knees, hands over your ears, screaming to drown out the other sounds.

“Help!” Sarah was in front of you, wearing the shorts and tank top she’d been in the last time you’d seen her, July five years earlier. You could see the metal of the barrettes in her hair, reflecting the fire as it burned. You reached for her but she was suddenly too far away, so far out of reach. But her voice somehow carried over the screams of the infected. “Help me!”

“Hey!” Andrew shook you, snapping you back into reality. It took you a moment to figure out where you were. You were hyperventilating. “It’s OK, I’ve got you…”

“Fuck,” your tense body loosened into the mattress. There were tears in your eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said. “Just breathe through it, you’re OK.”

You nodded into his chest and did the best you could to obey.

“What time is it?” You asked.

“Just after 4:30,” he said. “You did pretty good, all things considered.”

“Look at me, almost sleeping through the night,” you sniffed. “I’m like an accomplished infant.”

“I’ve been in worse positions with you,” he said. He kissed the top of your head. “This is just what we do.”

You stayed in bed until your heart rate returned to normal and got up, only then realizing that you didn’t have much in the way of clothing options at Andrew’s place and you certainly didn’t keep the things you liked the best there. It was a stupid thing to be worried about, but you wanted Joel to think you looked good. You wanted to feel like you looked good when you were with him.

“Want to go back to your place real quick?” Andrew asked, leaning against his doorway. Like he could read your mind. At this point, he probably could.

“No,” you said, putting on the shirt you had there. “I want to get to the clinic.”

He sighed but went with you.

“You’re going to be real early for work if you show up now,” you teased him, trying to focus on anything even slightly normal.

“I know, it’s a change of habit,” he half smiled at you. “Aren’t you usually making excuses for me?”

“We all just expect it now,” you shrugged. “You’re lucky I’m such an amazing doctor, they want to keep me sane so they’re stuck with you and your shit.”

“Should really abuse that connection as long as possible,” he nodded solemnly. “Pretty much the only reason I keep you around, only a matter of time before you get wise.”

You got to the clinic and he unlocked the front door, no other doctors there yet.

“You can’t get him for an hour,” he said, leaning against the front counter. “They picked them up at 6 p.m., Lee and Elias won’t let you fudge the waiting period…”

“Yeah, I know,” you sighed. “But I wanted to be here.”

You were starting to wonder why you’d ever left the clinic at all. It felt better here, being in closer proximity. You couldn’t see Joel but you knew he wasn’t far, close enough that you could be to him in just a moment if it wasn’t for the walls and guards between you and the holding rooms. You could breathe easier knowing he was close, knowing you were going to touch him again in just a little while. That this was as close to him as you could get and you’d done what you could to be there.

“C’mon,” he jerked his head and led you down to the doors for the holding rooms. You frowned but he just sat beside them and patted the floor next to him. “My lap’s a good pillow. Try to get some more sleep.”

“You’re lap’s a shit pillow, actually,” you snorted but sat down beside him, anyway. “You’ve put on too much muscle, you need some pudge. You’re too hard.”

Your head went into his lap anyway. He ran his fingers through your hair.

“Bake for me more and we’ll see what happens on the pudge front,” he replied.

You did manage to drift off for a few minutes, Andrew’s easy breathing and his hand in your hair making you feel secure enough to sleep again. But yelling from the other side of the door woke you up.

You shot up with a jolt.

“No,” you breathed, jumping to your feet and yanking on the doors. You knew they would be locked, you couldn’t get into the holding area without a security escort. You kept pulling anyway before you started beating on them. “Let me back! Let me back!”

Andrew pulled you back and you fought to rip yourself away from him.

“If he turned, you don’t want to see that,” he said, his arms caging you in. “If he’s turned, there’s nothing you can do…”

“He’s not dying alone!” You sobbed, straining and reaching for the doors. “I don’t care if he’s turned he’s not dying alone!”

The doors opened, a guard looking you over.

“Friends of yours in there, Doc?” He asked. You nodded. “They’re pretty demanding, wanting to see you.”

“So they didn’t turn?” You asked, going still.

“Just as healthy as they were when they went in,” he replied. You went limp in Andrew’s arms, relieved. The guard sighed. “They’ve only got half an hour left, want to come sit with them? On this side of the bars, can’t let you back further.”

You couldn’t seem to find your voice so you just nodded as fast as you could. Andrew released you and you all but ran into the holding area.

It wasn’t a place you knew all that well, always escorted on the occasions you needed to come back and euthanize someone who came in infected but still lucid. You hated this place, hated being in there, hated that it seemed to reek of death even though you knew it was clean and sanitized.

Joel was… loud. His voice carried and you were able to follow it easily, running full tilt until you found where he was. They were in separate cells and there was another set of bars separating the passage between the cells and where you were. Tommy noticed you first.

“I don’t give a shit,” Joel was yelling.”I need to see her, I need to see her right now…”

“Hey Kid,” he smiled sheepishly from the holding cell across from his brother.

You gave him a quick smile as Joel realized you were there. His eyes ranged over you, like he was reassuring himself that you were alive.

“Hey, Tommy,” you said. You weren’t looking at him. “Hey, Joel.”

“He make enough noise that they went and woke you up?” Tommy asked. You still didn’t look at him but you shook your head.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you replied. “Figured I’d just come here. I was going to just sit in the clinic but…”

“Everything OK?” Andrew asked. It was almost reassuring that he hadn’t felt the need to run with you. Almost.

“Yup,” you nodded once.

“My brother was just causing a scene,” Tommy said, giving him a wave. “I’m Tommy, by the way. That’s Joel. Seems like you’re a… friend of the Kid’s.”

“The Kid’s?” You could hear Andrew’s frown.

“What they called me back in the day,” you glanced back toward him. You were right, he was frowning. You looked back toward Joel and smiled a little. “Ten years ago now.” You realized that you hadn’t introduced anyone to someone else in… well, years. “Sorry, this is Andrew.”

When he didn’t say anything you looked back at him, giving him a look. He sighed and raised a hand.

“Hi,” he said, tone flat. You rolled your eyes and looked back to Joel. He was pretty much the only place you wanted to look.

“There’s a lot you have to do when coming into the QZ,” you said after a moment of awkward silence. “I’m going to take you guys through it today, get you housing, into the system to find work, that sort of thing…”

“Gonna be weird to be in a system again,” Tommy joked. You glanced at him. He was watching Joel, closely. Trying to get him to engage. “Course starting out behind bars oughta kick start that process for me.”

“God, I bet,” you said, talking more to Tommy but glancing at Joel. “Should be old hat for you now. I pretty much went from one system to another but hey nothing was as bad as when I was trying to get into that one 400-level bio class my senior year. Remember that, Joel? I had to be on campus at 6 a.m. on registration day so I could get one of the slots? I made you take me so I wouldn’t have to park…”

“You didn’t make me do anything,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I volunteered. Got to spend the morning with you, worth losing a little sleep.”

You smiled. Andrew was wrong. Your Joel was still in there. He always would be.

***

Joel hadn’t slept for shit. The dreams woke him up early. He’d dreamed of you dying before - more times than he cared to count, more times than he cared to think of. It had been a foregone conclusion then. He had the idea that he would have felt it when you died, sensed it somehow. He’d just… know. And he’d felt that way. The day after the outbreak, he’d felt it.

He stopped looking for you then. Couldn’t handle it, having it confirmed on the off chance he ever found something leading to you. Not that there was any kind of record keeping in the apocalypse but he lived in fear of one day finding out that you’d been infected, that someone had hurt you before they killed you.

But the lack of knowing left room for his mind to concoct the worst outcomes. You, torn to pieces by infected. You, shot and left to bleed out after your supplies were stolen. You, taken as a commodity by the kinds of men who grabbed power when things went to shit, killed when you were no longer useful. His unconscious mind had filled in every blank except one: you, alive.

Now that he knew you were, the dreams were a different form of hell. They weren’t images of what had happened, things he couldn’t change no matter how much he wanted to. Instead they were fates that could befall you, things he desperately needed to protect you from. When the dreams woke him up this time, he couldn’t handle it. He had to see you. Confirm that you were alive, whole. And they were keeping him from you.

He tried to keep it down for Tommy. He tried to ask nicely. It got him nowhere. It felt like he was going to lose his mind if he couldn’t just see you, just for a second, just to confirm that you were OK. The relief when saw you was acute, sharp. Like someone had healed a gaping knife wound in his chest. It took him a moment to even hear what you were saying.

You kept looking at him, like you needed to see him, too. Only ever pulling your eyes away to glance at Tommy or sometimes the man who’d come in with you. Joel knew he’d heard his name but he hadn’t remembered it. He was just thankful he seemed to be keeping his fucking hands to himself.

“Alright, step back guys,” the guard snapped Joel out of his own head, stepping forward with keys. He immediately obeyed. He started with Tommy first - probably punishment for Joel’s yelling overnight - and then moved to Joel. You were there, just one more set of bars between you. It seemed like unlocking that last fucking door took hours when he knew it had only been a moment and then he was holding you again.

You somehow still smelled like lavender. It didn’t make sense, how the fuck did you smell like flowers in the apocalypse? Maybe he hadn’t found you. Maybe he’d finally lost his mind and he was hallucinating in a ditch somewhere. He didn’t fucking care. You were soft and warm and smelled like you and your arms were so tight around him he couldn’t take a full breath and he didn’t care about that either.

“Can we get the fuck out of here?” Your… whatever he was said. “I hate it back here.”

You nodded against Joel’s chest before you realized that you’d probably have to speak to answer him.

“Yeah,” you said. Your voice was muffled by his shirt. “Let’s go.”

You hand slipped into his as you separated from him, as though touching him was the most natural thing in the world, and you followed your friend out of the clinic.

It was still dark outside, the city quiet.

“Welcome to the Boston QZ,” you smiled a little, looking up at Joel. “Your luxury accommodations for the end of the world.”

Tommy laughed. Joel smiled. You’d kept your sense of humor.

“Truly the finest,” your friend was walking backwards so he could look at you. Joel narrowed his eyes at him. “Ration cards, FEDRA housing, a black market that occasionally has AC/DC albums. We have it all.”

“You hid my Beatles CD at the clinic, I know you did,” you said, tone accusing but light.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he tried to look innocent. “I do know that the next time you’re going into surgery and you just absolutely need ‘Hey Jude’ to get through it, it will magically appear.”

“You’re the worst person,” you smiled as you said it. “Just a kick in the balls personified.”

“How would you even know!”

“It was a very important part of my training,” you said seriously. “Studied ball kicking very intensely…”

“You’re ridiculous.”

You stopped at a side street and your friend frowned.

“I know you’re tired,” you said.

“So.”

“Don’t need an escort, Andrew.”

Andrew. Joel tried to remember it this time.

He glanced quickly at Joel then looked back to you.

“You know why…”

“And I’m saying I know that’s not a concern,” you cut him off. “I don’t need you to protect me.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you do,” he replied. “Maybe I know better than you here.”

“Andrew.”

He sighed.

“I’m checking on you later,” he said, pulling you into a hug and kissing your temple. Your hand stayed in Joel’s. He lowered his voice but Joel could still hear him. “Remember what I said. He’s not…”

“I’ll be fine,” you looked up at him. He quickly glanced to Joel, kissed your temple again, and left. You watched him go for a moment.

“Sorry about that,” you said brightly. “Andrew’s paranoid. Course I’m paranoid with him too so I guess it’s only fair… anyway, stop one on our tour is going to be my apartment. We can grab something to eat and I can get a few things to make getting you set up easier.”

You led them another block to a building that had probably once been luxury apartments but those days were long passed. Your place was on the third floor and Joel liked that there were two deadbolts on your door.

“Sorry, it’s pretty small…” you opened the door for them and turned on the lights. It was small, even by city standards. All one room, your bed against one wall with a small couch at the foot of it. A two seat table just off the kitchen that only had one stretch of counter. What little extra space there was was filled with shelves covered in books and CDs. “I never have more than one person over at a time but you guys take the table, I’ll see what I have here. Unfortunately Whataburger died with the rest of civilization and it never made it this far north to begin with so we’ll just have to make do with what I’ve got.”

You opened a tin - one you’d painted because of course you had - and put it on the table. Tommy all but dove into it, grabbing an oatmeal cookie and taking a bite, moaning as he did.

“Fuck, Kid, you still make a mean cookie,” he said, sitting back in his chair. You smiled.

“You just haven’t had cookies in a while,” you said. “Imagine if you could just get a fucking Oreo now?”

“Yours are still better,” he shrugged. Joel took one, too, looking at it for a second. He hadn’t had anything like this in so long - and nothing of yours in even longer. He took a bite, absorbing it for a moment. Tommy was right. You still made fucking delicious cookies. He watched as you rifled through your tiny kitchen, pulling things out, frowning, considering them, setting them on the counter. You were still… you. He didn’t understand it. How were you still you? After everything that had happened to the world, you’d remained intact.

“So first lesson in QZ foodstuffs,” you said, setting a few things out on the table. “Lots of shit that’s been preserved. Jerky is, unfortunately, your most reliable source of protein. We get the fresh stuff from time to time but it’s pricy. Andrew’s roommate Steve gets it the most but he usually asks me to cook it because they were teenage boys during the outbreak and couldn’t cook a steak if their lives depended on it…” You shook your head and smiled a little and then blushed. “Sorry, I’m rambling, I just haven’t talked to… Anyway! Dried fruit, I’ve still got some bread left from what I made the other day and there’s coffee. The coffee is pretty rough, fair warning, the beans are all like five years old.”

You poured them each a cup, grabbed a slice of bread and went and sat on your small couch. Joel frowned, taking a piece of jerky and his coffee and sitting next to you. You just raised your eyebrows at him but didn’t question when he put his arm on the back of the couch and you slid into your place against him, head on his chest. He put his arm around you. This was better.

“So how’s the ration card thing work?” Tommy asked after a moment of looking between the two of you.

“They’ve basically just replaced money at this point,” you shrugged, still tucked against Joel’s side. He could feel you breathing. “I think they were intended to work differently than that - I was only in some of those discussions. I helped Dr. Elias set up the medical facilities here at first so I know a lot more about that. Even though that’s devolved a bit, too. I’ve tried to keep the better things going as I can but we’re reliant on what we can get from FEDRA out of Atlanta when it comes to medications and supplies. Originally, ration cards were intended to make it so everyone had enough and no one took too much but of course human nature took hold. I work a lot - don’t exactly have much else going on in my life - and it’s just me, so I’ve got a bit of a stash built up. We can use that to help make sure you guys get set up in a decent place, have food to get you going, that sort of thing.”

“We can’t have you wasting your money on us,” Tommy tried to wave you off but you scoffed. “The fuck else am I supposed to use it on?” You rolled your eyes. “I’d rather them go to something good than sit with me forever.”

After breakfast, you made Joel get off the couch and moved it slightly, prying up a floorboard below it. You pulled out an old shoebox and grabbed a few handfuls of cards from it, tucking them into a small bag.

“Trusting you guys with the location of my secret stash,” you teased. “Don’t go clearing me out now.”

You looked between them for a moment before something seemed to occur to you.

“Oh, duh,” you shook your head. “I don’t think I have much here that would fit either of you - Andrew’s a bit on the skinny side - but did you want to shower real quick? We can always come back later, after we get you some clean clothes and whatnot but if you want to clean up now, too…”

“Later’s fine,” Joel said quickly. He wasn’t sure he could handle being somewhat alone with you in your small apartment while Tommy got cleaned up. Not yet. Not if Andrew had clothes at your place.

“Then on to the next adventure,” you smiled and led the way.

You took them through the city, pointing out various landmarks and things of note (“That’s the speakeasy. Technically illegal but FEDRA officers are in there as often as anyone else, really the only safe spot for a drink in town.” “That’s where you go to find work until you can get something steady.” “Market’s here, use ration cards to get what you need…”). Your fingers were always laced with Joel’s. It seemed like everyone there knew you. Everywhere you stopped, someone said hi. Everyone called you Doc, like that was your name. Except one older man who made you practically jump out of your skin when you saw him.

“Abe!” You called out, waving your arm up high. He spotted you and you started pulling Joel along behind you to meet him.

“Sweets!” He pulled you in for a quick hug before looking Joel up and down. “Who’s this?”

“It’s Joel and Tommy,” you smiled so huge your face shone with it. Abe’s eyes went wide.

“Oh, Sweets,” he hugged you again. Your hand stayed in Joel’s. “I’m so happy for you. How’d you find them?”

“They showed up yesterday evening,” you were still smiling. “I knew they would turn up eventually…”

“You did,” Abe stepped back from you, lifting your chin with his fingers, smiling affectionately at you. “Just goes to show you shouldn’t listen to an old man like me.”

He looked at Joel at Tommy for a moment, like he was looking at ghosts, before looking back to you.

“Take it I won’t be seeing you tomorrow then?” He asked, half smiling.

“Hey, I said I’d bring you muffins,” you replied. “They just might be a few days late.”

“You’ve fattened me up enough,” he hugged you tightly. “How about I just see you around. I’m so happy for you, sweetheart.”

You watched him go for a second before turning back to Joel and Tommy.

“I’m so sorry, I am so bad at introducing people now,” you shook your head. “I’ve just known everyone for years… That was Abe. He’s the radio operator here. It’s underground, goes to the other QZs but FEDRA turns a pretty blind eye. I’ve been his most regular customer for the last five years.”

“Why?” Tommy frowned. “Why’d he seem to know us?”

“I’ve been looking for you,” you replied, starting off again. “I figured if anyone was going to make it out alive, you guys were. And I didn’t think you’d go to a QZ until you either absolutely had to or you decided life outside the QZ wasn’t worth the trouble and you decided to give it a shot on the inside. I knew you’d turn up eventually. So Abe’s been radioing all the other QZs for me twice a week every week to see if you’d turned up.”

Joel roughly pulled you into his chest, breathing in your hair. You hesitated for a moment before wrapping your arms around his waist.

“You OK?” You asked, voice muffled.

“Yeah,” he said. “Got you.”

He could barely pay attention to anything else that happened. You hadn’t given up on him. You’d been searching, calling around, trying to track him down, certain that he was alive somewhere. You hadn’t given up on him. He’d just given up on you.

Five years. Five fucking years you’d been almost exactly where he’d told you to go. Had he just gone where he’d said he’d go, he’d have tried Boston almost immediately. And he’d have found you. He could have been with you the last half a decade and instead he’d been wandering the wasteland that had been the United States, finding places to lay low, killing whoever he needed to for supplies, justifying it with survival. And you’d been here, searching for him.

There were a few changes about you he noticed as you helped them through the process of getting set up in the QZ. One was, you’d become a deft negotiator. You were still you about it - never cold or cruel, all kindness and sweetness as you bartered, leveraging your personality and skills in the process - but it was strange to see you go back and forth with the housing person to try to get them what you thought was a suitable place. You did it, though, counting out the ration cards in your bag and passing them over with a kind smile.

You did something similar at the clothing shop, chatting with the woman who was putting out new stock to get her to point out where the better stuff was and asking after the cashier’s child (“How’s that incision looking? Still holding food down OK? Need me to come by and check up on him?”) She gave you a discount and you told her to just come by the clinic if she changed her mind about her son, that you’d be happy to make a house call.

Five years you’d been here and you’d built yourself a life. You somehow managed to have everyone you met wrapped around your finger. It was the end of the fucking world and you’d made everyone fall in love with you. Of course you had. You’d stayed sweet and soft and kind through it all and Joel couldn’t understand it.

You stopped by the market on the way home and picked up a few things to make dinner and told Tommy and Joel to get cleaned up while you cooked. Joel went first, he needed to try to get his head right before being alone with you. He didn’t know how he was going to handle it, didn’t know what the deal was with you and Andrew, didn’t know what to want from you - what it was OK to want from you.

He put on the clean clothes and looked in the mirror at himself for a moment. Could you still want him now? Was that even a possibility? Should he just thank you for your help, go to his new apartment with his brother, and try to forget you? He didn’t know.

You were in the kitchen when he came out. There was a Fleetwood Mac album on and you were unconsciously bobbing your head in time to the music. Tommy gave Joel a look on his way to the bathroom, a look that said ‘don’t fuck this up you absolute idiot.’ Joel just shrugged at him. You glanced behind you.

“I’m afraid I can’t promise you anything too fancy,” you smiled a little. “But I do have some beer if you want?”

“Beer is good,” Joel nodded. You nodded back, sucking something off your thumb before going to the fridge. The beer was in large jars and you poured two glasses of it, handing one to Joel and taking a sip of your own before putting a baking dish in the oven. You busied yourself cleaning up the kitchen and Joel took a moment to look around your place.

“You still have the quilt,” he said, looking down at the bed.

“Oh,” you glanced at him, giving him a half smile. “Yeah. When I was packing a bag that night, I had some space and I really wanted to keep it if I could… turns out, it survived the trip.”

You’d had to patch it a few times over the years, some of the small purple flowers much brighter than the others.

“My mom made it,” you said, rinsing a measuring cup. “When she was pregnant with me. It’s the only thing I have of her, the only sign I have that she thought I might have been worth the trouble at some point, even if it was just for a bit. I didn’t want to leave it behind.”

He looked at you for a moment.

“It was her loss, Kid,” he said softly. You just shrugged. He went back to looking around your place, freezing at the photo on your nightstand.

It was framed - you’d painted it, flowers over the gouges in the wood - and Sarah stared back at him. His heart was pounding. He picked it up slowly, almost in a daze.

He hadn’t seen her face in years. You’d taken the photo on your hiking trip, just over a year before the outbreak. It was slightly off center. You were the only one looking at the camera. Sarah was looking at you, smiling, and Joel was looking at her. You looked like a family. You’d been a family. It was how it was supposed to be.

His eyes traced the planes of her face, trying to make sure he remembered everything right. Just where her freckles lay, the way her eyelashes fanned out, the few curls around her temples that were a bit more unruly than the others.

“Oh, Jesus,” you dropped whatever you’d been cleaning. “Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that, I should have put that away…”

“Where’d…” he asked, still looking at the picture.

“I grabbed a few photos as I was packing,” you said quietly. “I have a few of the three of us, one or two of me and Nan, one of me and Becca… I had a feeling I wouldn’t be back so I wanted to make sure I had them.”

You were quiet for a moment.

“You can have that one,” you said. “Or one of the others. All the others, if you want. I’m in them, too, but they have… I’m guessing you don’t…”

“Didn’t grab anything,” he said, setting the photo back down. “It was too hectic. Was just tryin’ to get the fuck out.”

“I was only able to take stuff because of you,” you said softly, looking down at the ground for a moment before looking up at him. “I’m only alive because of you.”

The water turned off in the shower. You went back to cleaning up.

Dinner was surprisingly good. Joel wasn’t sure how you’d turned mostly canned stuff into something good but you had. It probably helped that he and Tommy had been living on shit or anything they could hunt for a while - wasn’t like they had fucking garlic lying around - but it would have been good regardless.

Tommy was kind enough to keep the conversation going through dinner, asking you questions that had run through Joel’s mind but he hadn’t been able to make himself say it. Like how you’d come to be known as doc. He had an odd moment of pride, hearing how you’d persevered and done what you’d dreamed of doing in the midst of it all. You said you also taught at the FEDRA school during the day before going and working in the clinic at night. The school was understanding when you got pulled away for emergencies - apparently mass casualty incidents happened in QZs, too - and it sounded like you enjoyed the odd balance you’d been able to strike between educator and medical professional. He didn’t, however, ask about Andrew.

“Well, Kid, I think you’ve spoiled me enough for one day,” Tommy patted his stomach. You smiled.

“Happy to have the chance to do it,” you said.

“I think I’ll leave you two to get reacquainted… go start settling in to the new place,” he got up and clapped Joel on the shoulder.

“If you need anything, you know where to find me,” you smiled. “Seriously, any time. I want to help. I’m happy to help.”

“Thanks, Kid,” he smiled before looking at his brother. “Joel.” He gave him a nod and then left. You watched him go for a second before taking a sip of beer.

“You’ve done well for yourself here,” Joel said after a moment of awkward silence. “Better than just survivin’.”

“Thanks,” you smiled a little. “Figured if I was stuck living through the end of the world, I should do what I can with it, right?”

“Suppose so,” he half smiled back. He took another drink of beer.

“Joel,” you sighed after a moment. “I should apologize for what I said yesterday.”

He frowned.

“What d’you mean?”

“Before I left for the night,” you weren’t looking at him, you were staring down at your empty plate. “When I said I loved you… I shouldn’t have said that and I’m sorry. I understand that it’s been a long time, a lot has happened, we weren’t even together when…”

“Don’t apologize for that,” he cut you off. Your eyes met his. “I… liked hearin’ it.”

“I just don’t want you to feel remotely obligated to me,” you said. “Not in any way. You don’t need to even be my friend if you don’t want to. I’ll still help you guys get settled, you can even consider it payment for saving my life when the world came crashing down if that makes it better…”

“I just don’t want to disrupt your life, Kid,” he said, sitting back in his chair. Fuck, you were pretty. “You’ve got a life here. An actual life. You’ve got a career doing something you love, you’ve got people, you’ve got Andrew… I don’t want to fuck it up for you.”

“You won’t.”

“Not sure Andrew agrees with that,” he said, grinding his teeth a bit. He thought of Andrew touching you, the way he held you, kissed your head, they way he must kiss other parts of you…

“Andrew’s being a jackass,” you waved him off. “He’ll come around.”

“How long have you two…” he trailed off. You frowned.

“We met during the outbreak,” you said. “Made it to the QZ together…”

“Is that when…”

You looked at him, head cocked, confused. It took you a moment to catch up and you laughed, hard.

“What?” He asked, his turn to be confused now.

“No, I’m sorry,” you caught your breath. “I’m sorry, I’m still not used to being around people I’m not already around all the time… No, Andrew is not my boyfriend.”

Joel must not have looked convinced because you kept going.

“I forget that it must seem odd for people who don’t know us,” you sank back in your chair, beer in hand. “But we’re much more like siblings than anything else. He was 18 when the outbreak happened, I found him in the woods on his own with a broken arm a few days after I left home. I set his arm and he traveled with us. We kept each other alive, saw each other through the absolute worst of it. I’d be dead on the side of the road somewhere in New York State if it wasn’t for him and he’d probably be infected if it weren’t for me. But by the time we got to Boston, we’d gotten so used to needing each other to survive, one of us couldn’t really function without the other. Took a few months before we could sleep apart. We got separate places when the QZ was really getting set up because we realized how we were living probably wasn’t healthy, but we kept doing it, anyway. But no, not the least bit romantic. Or physical. At least, not in that way. We still sleep in the same bed when one of us is overwhelmed or just has a hard day, it’s the only way we can really function. I stayed with him last night, actually. It’s the only reason I slept at all. He’s just… who I have. And I’m who he has. We get each other. We need each other. It’s a bit codependent but…”

Joel nodded slowly. He got it, in a way. He and Tommy had barely spent 10 minutes apart over the last five years. He had no idea how he’d handle being apart for a day. Even here, he’d be worried about him. Thinking he needed to keep him alive, at least for a while.

“So do you have… anyone else?” He asked.

“Are you asking if I have a boyfriend?” Your eyebrows were raised. He just nodded once. You have him a small half smile.

“No,” you said. “No boyfriends. Been hung up on this ex of mine for a while. Doesn’t make for a great dating life…”

“Sounds like a fuckin’ fool for letting you go,” he replied.

You shrugged.

“Well the end of the world kind of happened in there,” you said. “Think he gets a pass.”

He watched you across the table, your hair loose around your face, lips full. It’s not that he hadn’t been with other women since you. He had. If there was someone willing and he had the urge, he wasn’t about to say no. Getting lost in someone else for a bit was one of the few things that made existence worth it anymore. But it had been years since it had been anything but a fleeting escape. It had been since you.

“Can I get you another beer?” You nodded to his nearly empty glass. He just gave you a nod and you refilled both glasses, moving to your small couch. The Fleetwood Mac album had started over. You gave Joel his glass but walked past him and sat on your couch, one leg crossed over the other.

“Why do I feel like you’re trying to get me on your couch?” He asked, his eyes roaming over you. You shrugged.

“No one’s making you do a damn thing, Miller.”

He moved to the couch. You are stayed on your side of it, sipping your beer, seemingly happy to just have him close. He reached out and tucked your hair behind your ear, exposing your neck. There were white scars down the side of your throat to your shoulder. He frowned, tracing them.

“What happened here?” He asked quietly. You set your beer on the small table in front of the couch and glanced at him.

“That happened a few minutes after the last time we spoke,” you fidgeted with the seam on your jeans. “Nan had turned, pinned me down in my room as I finished getting packed. I’d already grabbed the shotgun thankfully, I had to shoot her to get away.”

“Oh Baby,” he said softly, pulling you against his chest. You melted into him. “I’m so sorry.”

You shrugged but pressed yourself closer to him. He enveloped you. You fit against him the same way you always had, like you belonged there. As though he’d been designed to hold you, protect you. But he’d failed at that. You looked up at him.

“I’m sure we both did a lot of things we aren’t happy with or proud of to get here,” you said quietly. “I wouldn’t have been able to shoot her if not for you. If you’d never called that night, I’d never have gotten the gun. I wouldn’t have known what was happening. I wouldn’t have been able to bring myself to hurt her if I hadn’t been trying to get to you. But you got me here. I’m alive because of you and Andrew. I don’t care what you did to get here, Joel. Only that you got here.”

He kissed you then, your lips soft and sweet on his. You stretched into his kiss and his tongue dipped into your mouth as he held your body close to his own. His grip grew firmer and your body shifted to align with his, him laying you beneath him, covering you with him. He pulled away from you slightly, searching your eyes.

“You’ll tell me if I do anything you don’t want,” he said, already breathless. You nodded but bit your lip. “What is it? I can stop, I can go…”

“No!” You said quickly, eyes going wide. “No, please don’t, I’m just… out of practice. It’s been… a while.”

He frowned.

“How long?”

You blushed a bit.

“Since 2003?” You said it like a question more than an answer. He tried to hide his surprise and brushed your hair back.

“I’d like to change that,” he said softly. “If you’ll let me.”

You nodded quickly and his mouth was back against yours.

He had to fight to go slow with you. It had been so long since he’d been with someone he cared about, so long since he’d wanted someone like he wanted you. But he traced the contours of your body, getting to know you again, what parts of you made you melt into him, what parts made you freeze for a moment. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what caused those moments. He kissed you softly, deeply. It was like coming home, like the world hadn’t ended, like he hadn’t been stupid enough to leave you to begin with. He was right where he was always supposed to be.

You pulled at his shirt and he took it off. Your fingers ran over his chest, tracing the new scars he’d collected over his years dodging infected and humans alike. You kissed each one gently, your lips staying against each spot on his skin for a moment.

His fingers found the hem of your shirt.

“Can I?” He asked. You just nodded. He pulled it up and away, tossing it somewhere near his. You had scars, too. One on your shoulder looked particularly bad. He kissed it before tracing it with his thumb.

“Bullet graze,” you said softly, sadly. “On my birthday in 03.”

He kissed it again, his mouth moving down over your shoulder to your breasts, tracing your cleavage with his lips. He reached around behind you, your back arching into him, and he unhooked your bra before gently sliding it off. His memory hadn’t done you justice, you were so much more beautiful than his mind seemed capable of containing. He touched you softly, relearning how your breasts filled his hands, the way your nipples peaked against him. He took one into his mouth, sucking you, holding you as you moaned and ground your hips against his torso. He smiled as he trailed kisses over your chest to your other nipple, sucking you there, too.

His hands traced over your body, down to your pants. He opened them, kissing back up your chest to your mouth before looking in your eyes. You just nodded and he pulled your jeans and panties down your legs, lifting from you just enough to leave the last of your clothes on the floor.

He went back to his place between your legs, kissing down your stomach until he reached your slit. Your breath caught and he pressed his lips to your clit, his tongue slipping between to gently tease you until he felt you take a shaky breath against him.

Joel dipped his tongue into you, tasting you, opening you to him. You moaned, hips working against his face and he smiled against you. He’d forgotten just how damn good it felt to give you pleasure, to make you lose yourself to him.

He slipped a finger inside you as he sucked your clit, curving it into the place he still knew made you melt and he felt you tighten around him.

“Joel,” you whimpered and fuck he’d forgotten how good his name sounded on your tongue when you were about to cum. He added a finger, sucked you harder, worked you until he felt you flutter around his fingers, a choking moan slipping from you.

He’d also forgotten what it was like to be desperate for someone. To want to be inside you so badly he’d shed his skin just for the chance to be inside yours. He was breathless with it, it felt like he’d die for wanting you if he couldn’t have you. Couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this hard, the last time his whole body ached with need.

You were still coming down from your orgasm when he took off his pants and underwear, leaving them on your floor. Your body was pliant as you panted for breath below him. He ran his fingers over your slit, slick and wanting, collecting your wetness and coating himself in you. He notched his head at your entrance and you moaned, reaching for him.

“Joel,” you keened. “Please, I need…”

“I know Baby,” he said softly, sinking into you as you gasped. He could only gain a few inches, you were almost impossibly tight around him. You moaned, rocking your hips against him and he almost collapsed against you. “Just let me inside you Baby, just relax and let me inside you…”

You whimpered, all but incoherent, and he took you by the hips, holding your in place as he worked his way deeper into you, opening your body to him until he was fully inside you.

This he hadn’t forgotten. He’d sometimes lived in the memory of just how you felt around him, how you felt like two halves of the same whole, how it seemed like you’d been made for him. It was the only justification he could find for anything feeling quite as good, quite as right, as being inside you. His head fell to your chest and he panted for breath, desperate to move but desperate to never pull back from you.

“Fuck, Joel,” you were gasping, your fingers in his hair. “God, I missed you. I missed you so much, I love…”

He cut you off with a kiss, pulling himself back from you just enough to thrust forward again, pushing all the way inside you with every stroke, needing to be fully inside you as much as he could.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he ordered and you rushed to obey. He picked you up - buried deep inside you - and moved you to your bed. His movements became harder, more insistent, your body tightening around him with every stroke.

“Joel,” you moaned. He wasn’t sure you were even fully aware of what you were saying, your fingers digging into his back, your pussy tightening around him. “Please, need to feel you…”

He kissed you again, pressing into you harder, moving faster until he felt you start to come undone around him and he emptied himself into you, gasping for breath and all but collapsing on top of you. He held himself inside you, both unwilling and unable to move, you feeling too good to ever want to leave. You held him as your breathing eased, your body lax beneath his.

For the first time in more than five years, it felt like he was home.

A/N: Sorry for the delay in getting this posted! I've been on vacation this week trying really hard to pay attention to my husband and NOT fictional men. This chapter written in part in a poolside cabana on my cell phone this afternoon :)

Now y'all. This chapter has a happy ending and I need you to know... it's not the HEA yet. THERE'S SO MUCH MORE DRAMA COMING GUYS. So much more for them to work through and so much more to have happen - we haven't even met Tess or Ellie yet. But we gotta have little pops of happy in here, right?

As always, thanks so much for reading, reflagging and commenting, I love you all!

#joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #smut fic #joel miller x you #fanfic

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ranchthoughts · 8 months

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Manipulate, Mansplain, Manwhore, Manslaughter: Ray confronting Boston, ep. 6

I've been loving watching Neo play Boston, and the scene when Ray comes to Boston's house to confront him about sleeping with Top stuck out to me in particular, so I figured I would ~dig~ into it a bit. This conversation felt like Boston cycling through various approaches as he tried to gain the upper hand and hit back at Ray, so I've tried to pinpoint when those approaches start and what distinguishes them.

"Ton, you son of a bitch." "Ray. What the hell?" "How could you be so filthy. Will you do filthy shit to all of your friends?" "What shit are you talking about? What did I do?"

Ray walks into Boston's weirdly shabby chic house and doesn't waste time laying into him. Boston is not unfamiliar with confrontation so he knows better than to volunteer details- better to ask questions and find out what Ray knows (or thinks he knows) before getting defensive or fessing up to something. Boston likes collecting information, he likes knowing where people stand.

"You hooked up with Top! What a douchebag." "How did you know that? Who told you?"

Ray doesn't notice because he's too furious, but Boston is genuinely taken aback. He freezes then shifts side to side, he looks like he did in the shower when Mew came in looking for Top; this is a moment of real panic. Boston is too surprised to play dumb or deny it. Crucially, he doesn't even try the "yeah sure, before Mew and Top got together. what of it?" strategy Top tries at the end of the episode. Instead, Boston is more quiet than we've ever heard him before when he asks, "How did you know that?" and then, quickly, almost frantically, "Who told you?".

Not only is Ray's information good, it's something he should have NO way of knowing. Ray doesn't have the wherewithal to get this information himself, so he must have gotten it from someone else. The fact that Ray, of all people (drunken, incompetent Ray), knows something Boston tried hard to keep on the down low is not good. Boston's used to being the one who holds all the cards, so being out of the loop is disconcerting and alarming.

"Doesn't matter how I knew it! He is your friend. Mew is your friend!"

Ray is preoccupied with not revealing his sources and being angry (he steps closer into Boston's space and shoves him) and gives no indication that he caught Boston's little moment of weakness. This gives Boston some time to pull himself together and pick a course of action.

Approach #1: Manipulate

Downplay.

"So? Top and I screwed before they even started dating. Is it so weird to screw again? I just wanted more. Then I let them love each other all they want. Everyone is filled."

Caught off-guard, Boston has confirmed Ray's accusations. But Ray hasn't accused him of sleeping with Top recently, just at some point (unless there is a nuance in the Thai I am missing). In Boston's panic he now confesses to sleeping with Top after he got together with Mew - Ray already knows that, so it doesn't change the interaction, but this is information Boston gave up without being pressed. He's rattled.

Boston's first approach is to downplay the situation. He and Top have already had sex, what is one more time? At the end of the day Boston's hasn't tried to steal anyone's boyfriend, it didn't stop Mew and Top from falling in love, bing bang boom everyone is content. Boston tries to position Ray as the weird one for not understanding why this is fine. He even pulls out the puppy dog eyes - how could a man with these eyes do anything truly harmful?

Note also how Boston says, "I let them love each other" -> Boston sees himself as the one pulling the strings, he is the one in control. Even when trying to minimize his impact he can't help but drop a little reference to his own superiority.

Probably not Boston's best play in this situation, given how mad Ray is and how emotional he is about Mew, but Boston did just have his world rocked so we can forgive him the sub-optimal initial strategy.

Approach #2: Mansplain

Admit some fault, but smooth it over.

"You're selfish. Damn it, he's your friend. What did Mew do to you? You know that Mew and Top love each other!" "Hear me out, okay? I don't hate Mew at all. I was just needy. The timing was just wrong."

Boston hasn't convinced Ray this is nothing to get worked up over so he needs a new strategy. Ray is sensitive about Mew, so it would be good, would help defuse the situation, if Boston can convince Ray this was not about Mew specifically. To do so, Boston assures Ray he doesn't hate Mew* and takes a little bit more of the blame ("I was just needy!"), but he attributes most of the issue to the timing.

*Note how Boston says "I don't hate Mew at all". Ok Boston... Ray just asked what Mew did to you. You were the one who brought hate into this... Yet another case of Boston telling on himself. While Boston is hung up on Top, he's hung up on Mew too and their comparison war of ideologies they have going on.

Ray has escalated the conversation by stepping closer and even shoving at Boston, so Boston changes his body language as well. He goes from neutral and shrugging to more engaged, leaning in closer, making direct eye contact, and raising his hands in surrender. Boston signals that he is being sincere and non-threatening, just explaining logically.

Approach #3: Manwhore

Ok. Now it's personal.

Gifs by @chickenstrangers

"Timing, my ass. The point is your slutty ass just sleeps with anyone." "Not anyone. I picked him."

Ray isn't backing down - he takes a step forward and escalates it to a personal insult. Now Ray has insinuated that Boston is slut who will sleep with anyone, when Boston takes pride in being a slut in such high demand he can afford to be choosy, he can pick whoever he wants. Boston ducks his head briefly and absorbs the hit, widening his eyes like "did this bitch just...". When he bounces back up, his demeanor has completely changed. Ray didn't listen to logic, and Boston is done playing around. He is a manwhore, and proud of it, and now it's time to go for the jugular.

Boston immediately switches to a cocky, confident tone. He's unapologetic for his actions (look at that little shrug!!). Boston could have his pick of anyone and he chose Top. He doesn't actually care what Ray or Mew or anyone else thinks of that choice; Boston gets what Boston wants.

"And how are you involved in this? Oh! You're playing a good friend who is always so protective of Mew. Honestly, I think you're glad that that happened. You've always waited for your chance. This is in your favour. You're waiting for them to break up and be his rebound when he's weak. You will get that, man."

Thus far Boston has been on the defensive, reacting to Ray's accusations. Now he's on the offensive: Boston loosens up, gets fake casual, and leeches manufactured concern into every syllable. He's not trying to be convincingly, disarmingly sincere anymore, he's being snarky and he wants Ray to feel the contempt dripping off each syllable. Boston leans in, pats Ray condescendingly on his shoulder. Now Ray is off kilter, watching Boston warily. Boston uses Ray's feelings for Mew against him again and smiles like he did in Sand and Nick's apartment that night, the satisfaction of knowing he's hitting hard and causing damage.

Approach #4: Manslaughter

Scorched earth.

Gif by @chickenstrangers

"Ton you motherfucker! What a scumbag. Say that again." "If you tell him, then you're as evil as me. Don't act like you mean well while deep down you hope they will break up. It's disgusting! You should even thank me big time for getting you out of the friendzone."

Boston has dropped almost all his masks now. He's done trying to convince Ray it's nothing, or justify his actions, or defend his slutty honour, or attack Ray with faux concern. He's smiling, even after being punched in the face and knocked to the floor. He hit a nerve, like the night at Sand and Nick's. He's turned this around, now it's Ray hurt and reeling. Ray looks nervous, like he's just seeing Boston for the first time, as the latter sits on the ground and grins up at him.

Eyes locked on Ray, Boston gets back up and advances right into his face, smacking him on the shoulder, barely able to hold back the fury in his voice. Now he's being threatening: if Ray says anything, he's the evil one (or, at least, as evil as Boston, as evil as everyone thinks Boston is). Really, Ray should be thanking Boston for this opportunity, not coming into his house and accosting him, but maybe Boston will be lenient and let it slide this time.

I think that it is telling that Boston's last move in this confrontation is "if you tell him you'll be as evil as me"- out of options, he makes a blatant threat. He's been insinuating that Ray revealing this information is self-serving, trying to make Ray feel bad by bringing up his feelings for Mew; now the gloves are off and Boston serves it to Ray straight: it's evil, it's disgusting. I think it's interesting that Boston doesn't go for a strategy he's tried before with Ray at Sand and Nick's house, when Ray was horrified that Boston took photos of him and Mew kissing and Boston said "What? I just want to keep track of my best friends' romantic moments. Was I wrong?" Contrast that with Boston here, where he says he's been "evil". I don't think Boston thinks there is anything wrong with his actions in either case, but he's not pretending to be ignorant of how other people feel about his actions and he's not goading Ray playfully. Boston is spitting mad and lashing out and I think that reveals how rattled and out of control he feels. At Sand and Nick's he had all the cards, he could afford to be playful and antagonistic. Here he's been confronted with information he never intended to get out and he's trying desperately to shut it down and regain some control.

The Aftermath

Gifs by @chickenstrangers

"You asshole! Fucking jerk." ... "Damn it!"

Ray leaves, having lost this battle, and Boston allows himself a moment to gloat, satisfied in his victory and the pain he caused, before dropping his last mask. He sinks down into the chair, hits out, and swears. Ray might have left and Boston might have had the last laugh, but Ray knows about Top and Boston and Boston is pissed. I imagine that conversation felt like a fight for his life, especially after he started off so wrong-footed (allowing cracks to show in his armour, revealing freely he and Top slept together after Mew and Top were together).

Boston is the Hunter, he is the voyeur, he is the one who knows everything (or at least, he thinks he does - see @wen-kexing-apologist's brilliant post). He doesn't like being wrong, he doesn't like being weak, he doesn't like when he isn't the one in control. Now someone has information on him, information he worked hard to keep quiet. Boston doesn't mind scrutinizing other people for weaknesses and blackmail material, but he draws hard boundaries around himself and gets mad when they get crossed (think of how he reacts to Gap taking videos of him without his consent, or sending him messages, or finding him in person - all things Boston has done to his so-called "friends"). I imagine there's an element of "it's Ray of all people" who caught him out going on too - Boston is supposed to be the one with the read on Ray, Ray is supposed to be the drunk one who doesn't know what is going on.

What was Boston's end goal here? I think he wanted to defuse the situation because an angry and vindictive Ray is unpredictable - if Boston can calm him down he can better control Ray. This is why he went for manipulating and explaining and smoothing things over first before bringing up Ray's feelings for Mew. He tried to get Ray to drop it and when that didn't work, he turned Ray potentially sharing the information into a selfish and cruel act, trying to make Ray feel doubt and shame.

Boston doesn't want this information out yet. I think it's partly because he wants to be in control, he wants to be the one who decides when, where, and how Mew gets told... if he intends to tell Mew at all. Boston's been stealthy this whole time - he told Mew to be wary of Top at the beginning, but after that he's kept his comments out of it. He even was supportive of Mew when he phoned right before having sex with Top the first time. I've been chalking this up to Boston wanting to "beat" Mew "fairly": Boston and Mew have pitted their respective ideologies about sex against one another and while Boston has been trying to undermine Mew and break his heart the whole time (choosing Top, someone Boston thinks would never have interest in a long-term relationship, especially one without sex; seducing Top, etc.), he doesn't want this to be known. Boston doesn't want it to look like he rigged the game, he wants it to seem like Mew failed organically his approach to sex and relationships (and by extension, Mew himself) really are inferior (and because Boston's are superior), but Boston needs to be in control so he can't just leave it up to chance. I wonder if it has something to do with Top as well: if Mew finds out about Top and Boston hooking up, Top will be pissed at Boston for messing things up, and Boston will lose any chance of hooking up with or having control over Top again.

@waitmyturtles says Boston is the most honest character on the show, brutally so. I think that if he had had his wits more about him at the beginning of this confrontation he wouldn't have confessed to sleeping with Top recently, at least until Ray brought it up himself, but that's withholding information not lying. Throughout this whole conversation, even when he is trying to downplay or justify, Boston doesn't lie, or at least never quite:

"Then I let them love each other all they want. Everyone is filled." -> I don't think Boston is HAPPY that Top and Mew continued to be together after he slept with Top, but they are, and Boston is either trying to convince himself that it's because he "let" them (gave up on pursuing Top, not that Top shut him down) or he's somehow internalized this as true.

"I don't hate Mew at all. I was just needy. The timing was just wrong." -> Boston doesn't think it is weird for him to want or have Top again, but he's willing to concede that some people might have a problem with his timing. I also don't think he's quite lying about not hating Mew, there's definitely SOMETHING going on there but is envy/jealousy/insecurity perhaps the better word?

"Honestly, I think you're glad that that happened. You've always waited for your chance. This is in your favour. You're waiting for them to break up and be his rebound when he's weak." -> Boston doesn't lie here either: Ray has loved Mew and wanted to be with him, and I think Ray's reaction (going quiet and still, losing his momentum in the argument and settling for lashing out physically and swearing) proves there's a grain of truth there. I wonder if Boston framing telling Mew as something Ray would be doing for himself, a hurtful act for selfish reasons, is why Ray at the bar is so insistent on telling Mew he wants only the best for him, even if it isn't Ray.

#only friends the series #ofts #ofts meta #ranch thoughts #long post #I love love love getting into Boston's brain

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jenyifer · 7 months

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How does Boston treat Nick in front of others?

I know I need to do a just atom soup pot but this question is bothering me more. So I find when I’m in a relationship a big indicator if the other person is serious is how they act about me in front of their friends. 100% of the time their friends family are on their side so it’s important those people get the impression that the person 1 likes me and 2 thinks of me long term. So let’s look at some BostonNick moments and apply those principles to them.

Boston is eager to talk about how useful Nick is to his friends. He also must have talked him up so much Nick is put in charge of the website. Something that isn’t super simple if you can make bookings for the hostel through the website. Look at Boston’s face before TopMew show up. Quietly proud.

Boston doesn’t try to downplay what him and Nick were doing at the pool. He doesn’t try to blame things on Nick. It gives the impression this is deliberate and has been done before. Mew will definitely know now that Boston and Nick are seriously seeing eachother with this scene in the pool. If Boston wanted to deny it he’d have to be a bit more callous towards nick. But he looks at the poor boy like this. Melty goo.

With Ray and Sand Boston insists that he and Nick stay out with Ray and Sand further cementing what’s going on with the two of them. He’s perfectly happy to be snuggly to the max with Nick in front of Ray and Sand… kind of possessive to some extent. Boston knows Sand is Nick’s friend he wants to be perceived by Sand and Nick that he’s a cool guy. I think that’s a reason why he looks so annoyed with Ray’s rebuttle hurtful statement to Nick. FIRST Ray implies Nick is wrong for liking Boston which Boston agrees with. Then Ray says Boston can’t love anyone but himself. Putting Boston down and I think this did hurt him. Boston does love Ray and Mew actually in his own head he can definitely accept that more than his feelings for Nick. Still he doesn’t want to be put down in front of Nick. It’s hastening the end.

Post fight Cheum and Mew try to get Boston to admit to dating Nick which Boston denies. THEN he says what he really feels “you guys are going to abash me in front of him” That is what Boston can’t stand. That is what Ray did. Mew Cheum and Ray talk about how Boston is a heartless slut all the time but Boston acts like he doesn’t care. HOWEVER in this conversation Bostons tone is serious he doesn’t want to be put down in front of Nick.

Because Boston wants Nick to like him.

Because feelings are already there.

Boston brings Nick to meet his dad and… idk about you but how Boston looks at Nick in this scene makes me feral. He is possessive in his own way Proud that Nick is there being useful to his dad. Boston respects his dad even though he treats Boston with disdain. Boston bringing nick there HUGE. Boston leaning on Nick for support and talking his skills up. Priceless confirmation.

Ugh I can’t have anymore photos but at the party ep 6 as things fall apart Boston denies his and Nicks relationship while relying on Nick. But Bostons denials now feel hollow. Boston knows. If I was Nick and ALL THAT SHIT WENT DOWN then Boston came back to my place. I’d be comforted by the fact every “Is Nick your boyfriend” question the answer was a placid no not a fervent denial or joke.

Anyways I think all those scenes show that Boston wants Nick around and he’s proud to have Nick at his side. Even if his words don’t match body language actions prove it. I can totally see why Nick was conflicted.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #ofts meta #only friends meta #only friends Boston #only friends nick #bostonnick #ofts Boston #ofts nick #Boston x nick #Jenny’s rambling

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comphy-and-cozy · 1 year

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The Mystery of Love - Andrei Svechnikov

Pairing: college!Andrei Svechnikov x fem!OC

Summary: Boston University senior Vivian Adams is the quintessential Miss Terrier - President of her sorority and star student, with big aspirations waiting for her as soon as she crosses the stage at graduation. What will happen when she gets paired with her ex-boyfriend and BU’s hockey star, Andrei Svechnikov, for the biggest project of her college career? College AU.

Word Count: 11.8K

Author’s Note: I wrote this for @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 for @antoineroussel’s Winter Fic Exchange! I won’t lie, when I first received my match I had a minor (major) freak out (Demi can confirm). I admire you and your writing so much, Nat, and I was petrified of creating something for someone I think is one of the best writers on this site. Thank you for (unknowingly) challenging me to create something that felt worthy to gift to you. I hope you enjoy!

Huge S/O to Demi for beta-ing, dealing with my thousands of messages, and reminding me to be more confident in myself. And to @suitandtys for her endless support and being a sounding board (+ for the 90210 inspiration). 🖤

Warnings: Language, alcohol use/mention, smut (18+ ONLY), unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), some angst, some fluff, brief mentions of/references to anxiety, Greek life themes/mention.

NHL Masterlist / Moodboard

When Vivian Adams met Andrei Svechnikov, she had no idea just how much he would impact her. Sure, he was handsome—anyone could see that—but he was also sweet, charming, and incredibly caring, and he understood her in a way that others couldn’t. He might not have been her “ideal type”, but he certainly became the one that made all of the others irrelevant.

If she thought about it, it was no surprise how she fell for him as fast as she did. He lived in the dorm building next to hers, discovered at some “Back to School Bash” during their freshman year at Boston University. It was awkward, but so was everyone there, searching for connections to make with people that would very likely shape their college experience as Terriers.

Vivian stood uncomfortably to the side with her roommate and a few others from their dorm, doing her best to mingle with other nervous freshmen. There were only so many times she could ask, “Where are you from?” and “What’s your major?” before she started to go insane.

But then, a tall, handsome boy approached her to join his volleyball team, gesturing to the sand court behind him. Andrei. All he needed to do was smile, and Vivian was gone. Soon enough, they were meeting for breakfast at the cafeteria, having weekly lunch in between classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays after psych lecture hall, and meeting up to study in the common room of her dorm with their other friends.

The friendship came quickly, and the romance wasn’t far behind. Andrei found comfort in Vivian’s soft smile and innocent nature, while Vivian felt at home in Andrei’s warmth and his inner child. It was like a movie, the pretty girl paired with the athlete, though instead of the football team’s star quarterback, he was a grungy hockey player. Regardless, he certainly had the good looks of the leading man, with prominent muscles and a dimple that could melt anyone’s heart. When Vivian joined a sorority and began climbing the social ranks of Terrier Nation, having a handsome athlete for a boyfriend certainly didn’t hurt her standing.

Their relationship made it through the summer, a difficult distance since Andrei went back to Russia to spend time with his family. Through regular video calls and frequent texts, they maneuvered the time difference as well as they could have, trying to enjoy their breaks while still looking forward to when they could be together again in Boston.

Despite the familiarity of campus and routines, fall semester of their sophomore year brought new challenges: more advanced classes, an Alpha Zeta leadership position, a part time job, and heightened expectations of a big year for BU men’s hockey. Andrei and Vivian carried the wisdom of sophomores who had learned lessons the previous year, but still had the naïveté of 19-year-olds navigating their newfound freedom. Their reunion after a summer apart was wonderful, but the feeling was short lived.

Between the hockey schedule, extracurricular obligations, and their regular coursework, Andrei and Vivian struggled to find free time to spend together. More often than not, their schedules conflicted; when Andrei was free, Vivian had class; when Vivian had a break, Andrei had practice. It became increasingly frustrating, only having time together at night, and even then, Andrei often fell asleep moments after his head hit the pillow.

Change was inevitable, but that didn’t mean they weren’t dreading it.

The day they broke up was dark. Literally. It was storming outside, rain falling in heavy sheets as students ran for cover under their umbrellas and the awnings of campus buildings. Having forgotten her umbrella that day, Vivian got back to her dorm room drenched. With a rare two free hours before her herNetwork (an organization for women in business) meeting, she planned to take a nap before heading early to the library to knock out an assignment, but was instead met with Andrei waiting anxiously at her dorm.

Truthfully, Vivian had been feeling distant from Andrei, too, but genuinely hadn’t had any time to think about it between her Alpha Zeta obligations, planning the herNetwork fundraiser, and heading into the last stretch of the semester before winter break. Andrei was equally busy with travel, his season in full swing, along with keeping up with the rest of his schoolwork, but he couldn’t deny that the distance from Vivian was tearing him apart.

It wasn’t what she expected when she saw him, dark circles under his eyes and an uneven, patchy shadow of hair growing along his jawline. But as he sat on the edge of her bed, sadness in his eyes, it was both of their hearts that broke that day.

In the end, it was a mutual decision; not for lack of love, but simply due to the rift that had grown between them as their other responsibilities took priority. Andrei held her as she cried, staining his faded BU Hockey t-shirt with her tears. Their last hug was warm, but bittersweet, as Vivian did her best to soak in the last traces of his cologne on her sweatshirt.

Vivian wasn’t bitter, or even regretful; the only thing she regretted was that it hadn’t worked out. Andrei was such a kind, wonderful person, humble despite having every reason not to be, and she knew he’d have success wherever he went. Truth be told, she hadn’t really thought much about their future, past their wonderful BU bubble, but after they broke up, she realized how different their paths were. Andrei was destined to be an NHL star, while Vivian would surely make Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list at some point. Their lives just didn’t mesh – and she had to come to terms with that.

Two years later, Vivian was in the last semester of her senior year, fulfilling and exceeding every expectation set in front of her. President of her sorority and herNetwork, star student, expecting to graduate summa cum laude with a double major in Business and Finance and undoubtedly multiple full-time job offers, Vivian Adams was the quintessential Miss Terrier.

Andrei was also in his last semester, though his college career had taken him on a much different path, focused almost solely on hockey. Drafted by the Carolina Hurricanes, he hoped to have a record senior season before heading to Raleigh to live out his dream of playing in the NHL. The Bachelor’s degree in Business was just a backup, a safety net, should things not work out. But, given that he was a shoe-in for the Hobey Baker and already expected to be a Calder finalist in his first season, his future seemed all but cut out for him.

As their social circles had drifted apart over time, Vivian and Andrei didn’t see each other much, the run-ins at bars and parties less than frequent but not entirely nonexistent. Their ties to the business school kept them in each other’s lives, albeit on the fringes, often passing each other in the hallways on the way to class. Though they rarely spoke outside of the occasional smile or wave, they had a few classes together over the years, a familiar comfort having him in the back of the classroom.

So, Vivian wasn’t overly surprised to walk into her capstone class to find Andrei already seated in the last row, scrolling on his phone. She settled into her own spot, across the room from him, just out of habit, though she offered a small smile when he looked up from his phone and saw her looking at him.

‘Nervous’ wasn’t quite the proper word to use to describe how she felt about her capstone class, but it was close. As she listened to Professor Janes explain the partnered project, she became increasingly anxious and excited to get started. An intimidating semester-long project, surely the biggest one of her college career, it included bidding for company-sponsored projects with varying focuses ranging from marketing to strategy to operations, all ultimately culminating in a presentation of the proposal and recommendations in front of the company’s executives at the end of the semester. No doubt a successful presentation could result in a potential job offer, or at the very least, very crucial networking for a young professional about to head into the real world. In short, a lot of close personal time with whoever she was paired with, and a lot riding on their mutual partnership.

Then, add in the fact that Professor Janes mentioned she’d be assigning partners rather than letting them select their own, an additional layer of suspense tacked on. Her justification was, unfortunately, sound, being that they wouldn’t have the luxury of picking their teammates and coworkers in the ‘real world’, and it was important to learn how to work with someone you may not know very well.

Fortunately—or unfortunately—for Vivian, she knew her assigned partner a little too well and nearly dropped her phone when she received the email from Professor Janes later that week. She read it over three separate times, part of her in disbelief when she saw her partner’s name listed beside hers.

Adams, V. / Svechnikov, A.

Then she saw his name pop up in a text, and she knew it was real.

[Andrei Svechnikov:] Well this is gonna be fun [Andrei Svechnikov:] Should we meet for coffee to talk about it? [Andrei Svechnikov:] The project, I mean

With a deep breath, Vivian’s eyes traced over his name in her phone, a brief but powerful rush of memories flying through her. Somewhere along the way—she didn’t remember when—she’d changed his name from ‘Drei 💖’ to his full name, sans emoji. Looking at it now, so formal and impersonal, it made her heart ache just a little bit.

[Vivian:] Brian’s at 2pm tomorrow?

January

Coffee wasn’t awkward, but it was the first time they’d spent real time together since they broke up two years prior. To Andrei, Vivian had only gotten more beautiful in time, her confident nature making her even more attractive as she’d grown up; seeing her up close only solidified his thought with her long, dark hair cascading over her shoulders. She still wore the same perfume—wafting into his senses even from afar as she approached—and Andrei had to distract himself from the rush of feelings that flooded his system at the scent by waving to a friend passing by behind her.

“Some project, huh?” he asked, watching her slide into the high-top stool across from him.

Vivian glanced at him and shook her head in disbelief. “It’s an awesome project. Real world problems for real world companies—it’s such good exposure. It’s just also, you know, kind of petrifying at the same time, for the same reason.”

“I’m paired up with the smartest girl in the program,” he grinned. “I know I’m gonna be fine.”

Vivian rolled her eyes, brushing off his compliment. “You’re smart, too, Andrei.”

“I’m a hockey player,” he said with a shrug. “I’m only as smart as I need to be, and as long as it doesn’t interfere with competing for the Natty.”

“Andrei, this is the most important project of our lives. I need you to be as smart as possible, not only as smart as you need to be. You may already have your next step laid out for you, but I don’t have that luxury. Not all of us can be prospects for an up-and-coming NHL team.”

His eyebrow quirked, amused at her worry. “You know about that?”

He watched Vivian’s eyes widen slightly, shifting uncomfortably as she admitted to following news about Andrei even after they’d broken up. She cast her eyes down, thumb running along the seam of the cardboard sleeve on her coffee cup, as if searching for an excuse. “It’s hard not to know.”

“But you still did your research. The Canes aren’t even in the Bruins’ division.” He grinned again, pleased with her admission and the knowledge that she’d gone out of her Boston bubble to investigate his future plans. “You looked me up!”

With a roll of her eyes, she nudged his leg with her foot. “Shut up. Of course I did.”

Feigning pain, Andrei grabbed his ankle with both hands, giving a dramatic cry. “Ouch! You better be more careful around these superstar legs.”

“Can we talk about the project now?” she sighed, shaking her head at his antics. Andrei conceded, though he noticed the small smile that played at the corner of her lips as she pulled her laptop out of her bag, pleased at his ability to still make her laugh.

February

After selecting their project—a review of an eCommerce site’s operations and subsequent marketing plan—it was easy for Vivian to morph into planning mode, creating a project timeline and documenting each necessary step to get there. From there, they worked together to divvy up the work, scheduling weekly meetups at the library to review and discuss their findings and any hiccups.

Andrei was unexpectedly easy to work with, accepting the pieces she assigned him without complaint. Sure, he was still more committed to hockey than the project, but he still managed to complete his work (almost always by the deadline), and usually with minimal nudging on her end. He was a hard worker, always had been; she saw it every time he stayed late after practice to work on his one-timer, or the time he spent studying at the library, his thermos of tea gone cold beside him while he worked on his flashcards. He was smarter than she remembered, too, certainly not relying solely on her brain but contributing his own valuable insight and analysis to the project, even pointing out a hiccup she would have otherwise missed.

A lot had changed in two years, but Vivian was surprised to find that many things stayed the same, too.

Andrei still had the same endearing laugh, the one that made his Adam’s apple bob in his throat, and the same goofy sense of humor and positive attitude that she fell in love with. He still stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth when he concentrated hard, and sometimes still muttered to himself in Russian when reading an English article.

Vivian was equally surprised that he still remembered her coffee order. About three weeks into their weekly library meetings, he started bringing a fresh cup for her—iced, with toffee nut syrup and a splash of almond milk—occasionally adding something different, like cold foam or an extra pump of vanilla syrup. It was a sweet gesture, something she continually offered to pay for, that he would wave off and smile, saying ‘it was the least he could do’ because she was the one keeping the project afloat.

Mostly, Vivian was startled by how easily she fell back into stride beside him. Things were different; she’d changed, and so had he, but the foundation of their relationship was still strong, having weathered the storm of time. While part of her felt like she was getting to know him all over again, there were parts of her that felt like she was reuniting with an old friend—and in some ways, she supposed, she was.

Having Andrei thrust back into her life wasn’t something she was expecting, and she was unprepared for how having him in such close proximity would affect her. Though they were amiable, she tried to keep him at arm’s length out of pure precaution, keeping the majority of conversation about the project and surrounding schoolwork. But, of course, it was only inevitable that there were extra details thrown in now and again; a synopsis of his latest game, his brother’s success in the NHL, his upcoming Finance exam.

As the weeks went on, she began to piece together the parts of him that she’d missed, adjusting to the way it felt to have him reclaim a regular place in her life. The details of him that she’d forgotten, like his missing tooth and the way his hair flipped out slightly at the ends when it got long, came trickling back into her conscience, unexpected but not entirely unwanted.

On the nights where their project work went late, Andrei would walk her home, refusing to let her walk on campus alone at night. They’d laugh, tell stories, joke around about the crush Andrei had on Professor Janes. It was subtle, patient, slow in the way the rift between them began to shrink, a small but crucial crack in the hardened shell around their hearts.

The project itself was going swimmingly. It was everything else surrounding the project that was confusing.

Andrei was deep in an article about eCommerce operations, Vivian typing away across from him, when the buzzing of Andrei’s phone startled them both. With a glance at the screen, Andrei grimaced when he saw his Coach’s name appear. Sending an apologetic glance in Vivian’s direction as he stood, he stepped toward the door to take the call in the hallway.

“Hey, Coach. I’m at the library. What—?”

“I just got the midterm reports, Svechnikov. A ‘D’ on your Finance exam?”

Andrei’s eyes closed and he sighed, bringing a hand to his temple. “I know, it was a bad exam.”

“I don’t have to remind you what failing your classes looks like for both this team and your future.”

“I know, Coach. I hear you.”

There was an edge of empathy in the otherwise cool frustration of his Coach’s voice. “I understand that it can be difficult to juggle school and sports, but the rest of your teammates are doing just fine.”

Andrei choked out a weak I’m trying, doing his best not to give his Coach unnecessary attitude.

“Get a tutor if you have to. Playoffs are only a month away, and I need you to have your shit together. Okay?”

“Okay,” Andrei sighed.

“I’m serious, Svechnikov.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Okay. See you at practice later.”

“Yeah. See you.”

With another frustrated sigh, Andrei hung up the phone and ran a hand through his hair while he composed himself. When he moved back toward the door, he noticed that it was cracked open and prayed that Vivian couldn’t hear his conversation.

“Everything okay?” she asked once he came back in, not glancing up as she continued typing on her laptop.

“Yeah,” he smiled, settling back into his seat and returning his attention to his own laptop screen, though he couldn’t bring himself to resume his article perusal, staring blankly at the cursor on his document.

There was a moment of pause as Andrei assumed Vivian bought his lie, his Coach’s voice echoing in his head. Then, her voice broke the silence. “Does your coach always call you to ask about your exams?”

Andrei’s eyes shot to hers, a mix of surprise and embarrassment flooding his body as he realized she’d heard the conversation. Fuck.

“It’s nothing,” he said with a half smile, attempting to brush off the encounter nonchalantly.

“Andrei,” Vivian said softly. The warmth in her brown eyes told him that she saw right through him, just like she always did.

There was another pregnant pause as he debated if he should open up, a pivotal turning point in their relationship coming upon him all at once. Something unseen inside of him pushed him to go on, and reluctantly, he admitted, “My grades are… bad. If I fall below a 2.6 GPA, I’ll be on academic probation and I can’t play.”

“What are you at?”

“2.74.”

Vivian was unable to stop the sharp intake of breath at his confession, which caused Andrei to look at his lap bashfully. He wrung his hands together, twisting them as he sat in his discomfort and shame, embarrassed in front of his ex-girlfriend who had only ever received one ‘C’ in her life. It was a miracle she’d ever been interested in him, the dumb jock, in the first place, only logical for the smartest girl in school to move on to someone bigger and better than him.

“I’m working on it,” he said quickly, in defense of himself. “It was just a bad exam. I’m shit at Finance. It’ll be fine.”

She didn’t have to say anything, instead watching him understandingly, reading right through his confident facade. Her eyebrows raised, silently telling him she knew he was feeding her bullshit, and before he knew it, the words were spilling out of his mouth, a confession of his guilt and worry for his future. He had made the decision to stay in school, finish his degree before heading to the NHL despite the fact that he would’ve been eligible after his junior year. He felt like a failure, delaying his hockey career to get a degree that, at that point, he wasn’t even sure he was capable of getting, afraid of flunking out before the semester’s end—in which case, all of it would have been a waste.

“I’ll help you.”

“You what?”

“I’ll help you. I can tutor you.”

“Viv, you don’t have to—”

“Andrei,” she said firmly, “my grades are tied to yours now. If you’re not doing well, then I’m not either.”

“But Alpha Zeta, and—”

“We’re already here together once a week. It’s not a big deal to add on some homework, too.”

She had a point. And she was one of the smartest in his class, majoring in Finance. It really would only just be a little extra help here and there. If he was being honest with himself, it would be silly for him to decline.

His eyes held with hers, searching desperately for the words he could use to thank her. Nothing came, only jumbled bits of Russian and English that would surely not make any sense if he said it out loud, so instead he stood up, crossed the room, and engulfed her in a hug. She seemed taken aback, but she relaxed once he gave her a tight squeeze, a hug that was reminiscent of the last one they’d shared together two years ago.

“Thank you, Viv.”

March Tutoring Andrei came natural to Vivian, a fond parallel to all of the times they had spent studying together freshman year in her dorm. What’s more, she found herself looking forward to their study sessions—she intentionally used that term rather than ‘study date’—though she told herself it was because they were finally seeing tangible progress on the capstone project, and it felt good.

She didn’t know why she offered, or what made her blurt it out as soon as the thought arrived in her brain. She only knew that she felt an overwhelming urge to help him, to not let him fail his dreams—even if a Bachelor’s degree ranked second on that list.

Sure, she liked the ego boost that came from being smart enough to tutor someone else, but the more they met, the more she learned that she liked Andrei best when it was just them two in a study room, free to be himself without the outside pressures of the world. Out there, he was expected to be something, as was she, but being alone with him reminded her of the Andrei she used to know and the late nights they’d spent talking about dreams and goals and aspirations in the comfort of her dorm room.

As the semester progressed, Thursdays became Vivian’s favorite day of the week. Having only two classes and a large break between them, she was typically able to get caught up on the majority of her work. Surely, it was the rewarding sense of accomplishment that made her love Thursdays and had nothing to do with the fact that Thursdays were also her weekly meetings with Andrei.

Yeah, sure, they often ended up staying at the library late into the night, chatting as they worked on the project or his latest Finance assignment. And, sure, sometimes she’d feel his eyes lingering on her when he bid her goodbye. But those were minor details, obviously. Vivian certainly didn’t look forward to hearing the sound of Andrei’s laugh and the way his dimple lit up his entire face when he smiled. And she definitely didn’t like the way he felt sitting beside her, the way his arm would sometimes brush against hers when she’d lean over to look at his textbook.

No, Andrei absolutely, positively, had nothing to do with why Thursdays had grown on her.

The weekend before spring break was always a big party weekend, and this year, Pi Kappa Lambda’s “Life’s a Beach” party was the hot event of the season. Despite not having enough time in his schedule to formally rush and commit to a fraternity, Andrei was close with many of the Pi Kap brothers, and it had become the unofficial athletic fraternity. Needless to say, Andrei had the date marked for weeks. Pregaming at the hockey house with Jimmy Buffett on blast, he was excited for a highly-anticipated evening of drinking and debauchery.

Andrei was talking with a teammate when a group of girls walking in caught his attention. He wasn’t surprised to see Vivian there—Pi Kap was one of the top fraternities on campus, and while he had never really bought into the whole ‘social tier’ thing, he understood the importance of appearances at these types of functions. She looked good, he thought, with her safari hat, Hawaiian shirt, and those cutoff shorts that displayed her perfect legs.

Vivian didn’t seem to notice him, engrossed in greeting her friends, but he continued to watch from across the room, admiring her commitment to the theme and, of course, the way her unbuttoned shirt gave him a view of the slope of her breasts. The more Malibu he consumed, the better she looked, unable to stop himself from glancing back over at her even as he made conversation with other people. He never approached her–partially because he was a little too inebriated to say anything that didn’t involve her tits–but, really, he was just content to watch from afar, observing the infectious impact she had on everyone around her.

Unfortunately, that also meant that he had to begrudgingly watch when she began to dance with a guy—some junior-frat-rat with a disgusting mustache on his upper lip. Andrei gritted his teeth as he watched his slimy hands make their way onto her hips, toying with the frayed end of her cutoff shorts in the way that he would have if she was still his girl.

Andrei didn’t really know the guy—Derek, he thought his name was—but he knew for a fact that he didn’t deserve her, wouldn’t treat her the way she deserved to be treated. Did he even realize who he was dancing with?

Had he been sober, Andrei probably would’ve written it off as two people dancing at a party, harmless, most likely meaningless. But he wasn’t sober, and Drunk Andrei was convinced that Dirty Derek would be popping the question anytime, and it drove him mad, his fingers itching to wipe that smug mustache off his face.

Fortunately, Drunk Andrei was also smart enough to know not to interfere–or maybe it was his Coach’s voice in his head warning him not to do anything stupid before the playoffs. Either way, Andrei kept to himself and his rapidly depleting mixed drink. He’d had his opportunity with Vivian, and had thrown it away just as easily; it was his burden to bear, not hers, left to muddle whatever his feelings were for her alone.

So, instead of wallowing in his own pity, he turned his attention to the pretty blonde girl who had been flirting with him all night. Like any other 20-something-year-old boy, it was all too easy for him to forget about his long lost lover in a great pair of tits. As he kissed her, his tongue wrestling with hers against the dirty wall of the frat house, the coconut rum impairing his system was just enough to allow him to imagine she was Vivian.

April

The sound of buzzing didn’t quite wake her, but the sound of her phone falling on the floor certainly did. Startled, it took Vivian a moment to recognize that her phone was, in fact, ringing. With a groan, she heaved herself out of her cocoon and leaned out of her bed to grab the phone, an unfamiliar number flashing across the top.

Vivian silenced it, wondering briefly why they were calling in the middle of the night, and figuring whoever it was would leave a voicemail if it was really important. Glancing at the time—1:17am—she sighed in frustration when she calculated she’d only been asleep for 2 hours before being interrupted by a call that wasn’t even important. Annoyed didn’t quite do it justice.

But then the ding on her phone alerted her to a voicemail. All she had to see was “Andrei Svechnikov” on the transcription before she was hurriedly pressing the phone to her ear.

Five minutes later, she was shoving on some boots and a coat before jumping into her car to drive to the campus security office.

The parking lot was almost empty, save for the handful of campus security vehicles. When she walked inside, Vivian’s eyes connected with a blonde woman behind the desk, glancing up at the sound of the door.

“Hi, are you Ms. Evans?”

She nodded. “Is Andrei okay?”

“He’s alright, just had a few too many,” she explained, causing a wave of relief to rush over Vivian. She’d process what that meant later. “One of our guys found him stumbling alone and picked him up. He’s over 21, so he won’t be charged with anything; we just wanted to make sure he got home safe.”

Vivian nodded in understanding, thankful for once that campus security was doing their job—she remembered the times she’d dreaded seeing their vehicles pulling up to parties when she was younger, having to slip out of a back window more times than she’d care to count. She sat as she waited for one of the security officers to retrieve Andrei from one of the back rooms, also thankful that they’d kept their hockey team’s star player hidden from public view while he was obliterated.

The tall Russian stumbled into view, his arm sloped over an officer’s shoulder as he helped walk him down the hallway. Vivian grimaced, noting Andrei’s bright red cheeks and disheveled hair. If she had to guess, she’d bet it was Jose Cuervo that did him in; tequila always made him lose his mind.

“Viv!” he shouted excitedly, a bright smile lighting up his face when he saw her waiting in the lobby. “You here! Did you get invite to party, too?”

She shared an amused glance with the officer before saying, “Yeah, Andrei. I got invited to the party, too. But it’s over now, so we have to go home, okay?”

Blowing a raspberry in disappointment, Andrei pouted, but agreed. “Ohhhh-kay Viv. If you say so.”

Vivian thanked the officer for helping her six-foot-something ex-boyfriend into the passenger seat of her car, set up with a spare towel just in case he couldn’t make it home without getting sick.

“Andrei,” she said to him once his seat belt was fastened firmly against his broad chest. “Do you have your keys?”

“You so pritt… ty,” he replied, slumping over against the window, the coolness a relief against his warm skin. Vivian did her best to ignore the compliment, writing it off as drunken nonsense.

“Andrei,” she repeated, more stern this time. “Are your keys in your pocket?”

“Why? You–” Hiccup. “–you comink over?”

Vivian took a deep inhale in, swallowing her frustration before she turned to look at him. “Andrei, you need to go home. Can you get into your house? Do you have your keys?”

Whether it was the firmness of her tone or the look in her eyes, something about her third attempt made Andrei swallow thickly, blinking slowly as his hands fumbled around his pockets. Her heart sank when his hands came out empty, a frustrated sigh leaving her mouth. Back to her place it was.

Andrei mumbled mostly nonsensical Russian as she drove back to her apartment, drifting in and out of silent moments as he’d doze off. The few moments of sleep he got seemed to help only slightly as she helped get him out of the car, legs nearly buckling under his weight as she helped get him inside.

It was only after she stepped into the living room that she realized she had a decision to make. Her bedroom was upstairs, the couch downstairs. Technically, her ensuite bathroom was much closer to her bed than the ½ bath on the main floor was to the couch, plus she knew she wouldn’t be able to hear him getting sick if he stayed downstairs.

So, begrudgingly, Vivian steered Andrei toward the stairs, thanking the powers above when he began to put one foot in front of the other to climb them. She barely had time to think about how he hadn’t been inside her bedroom since they broke up two years prior. Now with a different mattress and a different bedspread—she’d upgraded to a larger mattress once she moved into an off-campus apartment—the thought that Andrei hadn’t ever been in this bed briefly flitted across her mind before he was stumbling forward into it, falling face first into the pillow. It wasn’t exactly what she envisioned when she thought about Andrei in bed—not that she thought about that, either. Not that often, at least.

Based on the instant snoring, Vivian assumed he’d cashed out for the night, and entirely dead weight, he’d be impossible to move. So, she retrieved the small trash can in her bathroom and set it next to him, moving his head to the side in case he did get sick in the middle of the night. She tugged off his shoes and pulled an extra blanket over him since he’d fallen on top of the comforter.

Thankful that her housemates were all asleep—not wanting to deal with explaining why her ex-boyfriend was asleep in her bed—Vivian retrieved an extra glass of water, along with a few extra Tylenol from the cabinet to set on the nightstand beside him. She tugged off her own coat and shoes before crawling into bed, unfamiliar with the dip he created in the mattress.

“Viv?”

The sound of his slurred voice and thick accent startled her, surprised that he was still conscious.

“Hm?”

“Did you kiss him?”

“Kiss him? Kiss who?”

Andrei was silent for so long that Vivian thought he’d fallen back asleep. “D… Derek.”

“Derek?”

“From party... Beach party.”

The memory came flooding back, her vodka-infused night at Pi Kappa Lambda a few weeks back blurry but still recollectable. She didn’t know he’d seen her indulging in the warm touch of her dance partner, but what Andrei didn’t know was that though she was dancing with Derek, it was flashes of a tall Russian that filled her mind, imagining it was him running his hands along her sides. And when her fleeting sobriety returned to her in flashes, and she realized it wasn’t Andrei, she couldn’t bring herself to go home with him despite the throbbing need between her legs.

“No, I didn’t kiss him, Andrei.”

Andrei hummed. “Good.”

Despite her foggy memory, Vivian couldn’t ignore the pang she felt in her heart as the image of Andrei kissing the pretty blonde Delta Phi in the corner, his lips no doubt working their sinful magic against hers. How could Andrei be bothered by her dancing with someone when he’d been doing the same with another girl?

“But you kissed that girl.”

He hummed again, this time accompanied by a loose wave of his hand. “Yeah. But was finkink… was finking ‘boutchu.”

In the pause that followed, as she tried to process what Andrei had said, the end of his sentence was soon punctuated with a loud snore. Not that she would have even known what to say to begin with, confused, disappointed, and relieved all at once. As she listened to his uneven but deep breathing, she pondered his words in his head until she fell asleep, the warmth from his body shielding her from the cool air in the room.

The next morning, she awoke to the sound of Andrei groaning loudly. What she saw when she opened her eyes, though, was not what she expected. Somewhere in the middle of the night, he’d stripped off his sweatshirt and his shirt, his chest entirely bare save for the familiar silver cross that hung from his neck. Before she could stop herself, her eyes were trailing down the muscles of his pecs, down the line of his abdomen, admiring that he was in even better shape than he had been when they were together.

Fortunately, Andrei didn’t notice, instead busy rubbing his eyes and wincing at the movement. “Oh, fuck. Feel like got hit by truck.”

His accent and lack of pronouns were endearing, and she nodded toward the glass beside him. “There’s water and some medicine on the table. You should take it.”

With his eyes still closed, Andrei mumbled a thank you, groping blindly for the pills. Instead of grabbing them, though, he knocked the glass over, spilling water all over her nightstand and the floor. “Fuck. M’sorry.”

With a sigh, Vivian heaved herself out of bed, grumbling under her breath as she went to retrieve a towel. She refilled his glass with water from the faucet, thrusting the cup into his hands a little more forcefully than she intended.

For a moment, the only sound in the room was that of him gulping down half of the glass, quenching only a portion of the Hungover Drought in his mouth. Breathing heavily, he laid his head back and shut his eyes tightly.

“Did we… ?”

Vivian resisted the urge to laugh, instead raising her eyebrows in an amused way. “You could barely walk, let alone make any specific body parts function.”

He hummed, then, “What happened?”

“I don’t know. You had a lot to drink. I got a call from campus security at one in the morning to come pick you up.”

Andrei shut his eyes again; whether he was racking his brain for a memory, or willing away his hangover, she wasn’t sure. He let out a deep groan, the kind that she could practically feel the vibrations from.

“Come on,” she urged, nudging his shoulder gently. “Can you stand up? I’ll take you back to your apartment. By the way, you lost your keys.”

Andrei groaned loudly, fumbling in his pockets before he let out another. “Fuck, I lost my phone, too.”

“It’s over here, charging. It was almost dead last night,” Vivian explained, unplugging it and handing it to him. With one eye open, Andrei squinted at the screen to send a text to his roommates to see if someone could let him in.

They sat in silence for a moment, Andrei’s eyes closed tightly as he did his best to will away his hangover. Vivian listened to the sound of his breathing, doing her best not to glance at the way the muscles in his core rippled as he breathed.

“Viv,” he said softly, glancing at her as if afraid of how she’d answer. “No one’s answering.”

With a heavy sigh, Vivian rolled her eyes and threw her head back in frustration. “Of fucking course they’re not.”

“It’s not my fault!”

“You’re the one who lost your keys and got yourself in this situation,” she shot back, standing up.

“Where you going?”

“If you’re going to stay here, you might as well shower. Might help you feel better. Hopefully they’ll answer by the time you’re done so I can get on with my day.”

“If you’re going to be so cranky, why did you even come last night?” he asked.

“Because I got a call from campus security at one in the morning, Andrei. Scared the shit out of me. I thought you were dead or something, but instead you were just obliterated out of your mind. Great time to get belligerently drunk, by the way, two days before our presentation. You should be grateful they didn’t charge you with public indecency or something.”

“Oh, yeah, because I definitely got picked up on purpose–”

Vivian scoffed, rolling her eyes. She tossed the towel at him, purposefully covering up his bare chest so she didn’t have to keep looking at it.

“Why did you even have them call me? I’m not your–” she swallowed the word girlfriend, “– you have other friends. Teammates.”

It was Andrei’s turn to scoff, ignoring her question in favor of sitting up and pausing for a moment to let the lurching in his skull subside. She watched his long fingers massage his temples, though she knew it wasn’t helping by the way his brows furrowed on his forehead.

“I didn’t tell them to call you,” he finally said. “They called because you’re still my emergency contact.”

“I’m what?”

He shrugged. “My parents and brother obviously aren’t here. I just never changed it.”

Vivian didn’t know if she was touched, or annoyed, or sad—or maybe all of the above. At the end of the day, she had still dropped everything to make sure he was safe; would always come if he needed her to. No matter what she did, she couldn’t deny that she cared about him, deeply.

As he showered, she pondered what all of it meant. And when she dropped him off, making sure he was safely inside his house before driving off with a wave, it hit her so hard she had to pull over on the side of the road.

She wasn’t sure if it was a still, or an again, the details not mattering much. All she knew is that she was in love with Andrei Svechnikov.

While everyone else was preparing for the end of the semester and exam season, Andrei’s season was approaching its peak as BU prepared for the Frozen Four. As anticipated, his name had been announced as one of the three finalists for the Hobey Baker, adding an additional layer of pressure to his game. Although he already had been drafted and had his future in front of him, he couldn’t deny that it’d be extremely flattering to win the award—but he’d trade it without a second thought if it meant he could raise the championship trophy with his teammates.

The increased training meant less time to study and complete his homework, which also meant less time with Viv—though, as their presentation day grew closer, their communication amped up naturally. Andrei found that he was willing to put off the rest of his work in favor of focusing on the project, in part due to it being such a large portion of his grade, but largely because he couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing Vivian.

Before he knew it, presentation day had arrived. Andrei made Vivian promise that she’d get a good night’s sleep—and she claimed she did, though Andrei noticed that she’d made changes to the slideshow at 12:06am, no doubt combing through every inch one last time.

They were driving together to CyberComm’s headquarters, a large high-rise in downtown Boston. Andrei met at Vivian’s apartment, waiting patiently while she checked her bag to ensure the flash drive with the extra copy of the presentation was tucked safely in the pocket. As he waited, he smiled when he noticed the vase of flowers sitting on the kitchen table; a ‘thank you’ he’d sent after the campus security fiasco. He also couldn’t help but notice that although Vivian was dressed professionally, he was pleased that her attire revealed the slightest sliver of skin on her chest, instantly reminding him of the cleavage he’d caught a glimpse of at the Pi Kap party.

Vivian drove to the office, allowing Andrei to continue casting glances at her as she navigated traffic. His eyes slid over the shape of her lips, the dip of her nose, the way her dark hair spilled over her shoulders in luxurious curls—the ones that, in his opinion, always made her look like a model. She was beautiful.

Not that his opinion on the way she looked had ever wavered, even after they broke up. He had always thought she was pretty, and had since the first time he saw her during freshman orientation—it was half the reason he’d asked her to join his volleyball team. But something about the way the sun lit up her skin, casting a glow over her made his heart beat just a little bit faster. She was confident in herself, but not cocky; essentially, everything he aspired to be as an athlete. Even two years removed from their relationship, Vivian was still inspiring him to be a better person.

Once they arrived at the office, Vivian checked in at the front desk. While they were waiting for Sherry, the Executive Assistant to the CEO, to retrieve them in the lobby, Andrei’s nerves began to kick in. They sat in silence, Andrei running through his script in his head until the warmth of Vivian’s palm on his leg brought him back to reality.

She offered a smile that reassured him, only just then realizing his leg had been bouncing as he waited in his nerves. His heart raced, though he wasn’t sure if it was from the sight of a woman walking toward them, or from the touch of Vivian’s hand on his thigh. Either way, he didn’t have time to think about it, for the woman approaching them introduced herself as Sherry, offering to show them upstairs.

Sherry led them to a conference room with a long oak table and floor-to-ceiling glass walls, like an office straight out of Succession. Andrei admired as he watched Vivian channel her sorority recruitment charm as they were introduced to the CEO, VP of Sales, VP of Marketing, and VP of Operations. Vivian, he knew, was doing her best to ignore their decorated titles and the weight riding on making a positive impression; if she was as nervous as he was, she didn’t show it. Professor Janes sat on the other side of the table, offering an encouraging smile as Andrei set up their presentation and Vivian handed out the prepared booklets to each of the attendees.

Vivian’s voice wavered slightly as they started, but by the third slide, she was her normal, charismatic self, her practiced speech coming off as confident and rehearsed but not memorized. Andrei stumbled once or twice, a pink blush coating his cheeks as he smiled through it, glancing each time at Vivian for silent encouragement.

Thirty minutes later, the presentation was done, as were the onslaught of questions from each of the panelists. The VP of Operations, Janet, was the first to stand up to shake both of their hands.

“Thank you, Miss Adams and Mr. Svechnikov. I have to say that this has been one of the best, most professional presentations we’ve seen yet. Very well done.”

Andrei could barely contain his grin, thanking her and Professor Janes as Vivian tucked her laptop in her bag. Andrei led the way out the door with one final “thank you.” Once they were in the hallway and far enough from the door, he was spinning on his heel to lift Vivian up into his arms.

“We did it!” he exclaimed, spinning her around. “We fucking did it!”

“Andrei! Keep your voice down!” she scolded, though it was punctuated with a giggle that nearly punched Andrei in the gut.

“God, you were amazing,” he said, quieter this time as he set her down. “When they asked that last question about the inventory tracking, I completely froze. You are fucking incredible.”

“I know it inside and out,” she said, brushing off the compliment. “You did great, too, Andrei. I’m proud of us.”

“One of the best they’ve ever seen,” he mused, nudging her shoulder. “Put that on your resume, Viv.”

“Too bad you can’t use that skill in the NHL,” she joked.

—

Andrei barely had time to bask in the success of the presentation before he was on a plane to St. Paul for the college hockey championship tournament. Being a hockey school, his professors were more than understanding with their deadlines, many of them offering well wishes before he left for the short but significant tournament.

As soon as he arrived, he was flooded with interviews in advance of the Hobey Baker announcement that was to take place before the game. Either way, it—both the media and the ceremony—was all a big distraction to Andrei; he had his sights set on a different trophy that was far more important than any individual award he could win. But, remembering his media training, he put a smile on his face and channeled his inner Vivian Adams.

When they called his name announcing him the winner of the award, Andrei was bashful and gracious, only allowing a smile once he was back in the locker room with his teammates who were waiting to congratulate him after the ceremony. A minor celebration—just the way he wanted it—before they were back in the zone, preparing for the semifinal game against Notre Dame. Truthfully, he was glad the award was done and over with, though he knew the questions would continue to come even once he made it to the NHL.

After a hard-fought game—and a two point game for the Hobey Baker winner—the Terriers emerged victorious. Coach granted them the night to celebrate, though Andrei was very conscious of his alcohol intake; if all went according to plan, he’d be able to really celebrate in two days’ time, once he had the trophy in hand.

The night before the championship, Andrei tossed and turned, eventually dozing off into a dreamless sleep. He awoke the next morning to a text from Vivian, feeling a tug at his heart when he saw the familiar emojis next to her name; something she’d added herself at some point during freshman year and he’d never bothered to change them.

[Viv 😍🥰❤️‍🔥🎀🌼:] Congratulations, Mr. Hobey Baker! Good luck today! Bring home that trophy to Terrier Nation! 🐶

It was the only time Andrei allowed himself to be smug; something about Vivian being proud of him awoke the unfamiliar emotions in him. If Andrei thought hard enough, he’d have put two and two together then, but when he looked back on that day in later years, he’d blame it on the pressure of the game that made him blind to his feelings.

Despite his qualms and reluctance for the attention, it was only fitting for it to be Andrei who scored in OT, surely a goal that would be on his highlight goal for years to come.

The horn sounded as confetti burst from the ceiling, raining a sea of scarlet and white over the arena. Andrei’s celebration with his team was cut short when the television crew encouraged them to line up for the presentation of the championship trophy. He was jittering, full of adrenaline; the words of the announcer barely registering with him.

When he lifted the trophy over his head, grinning from ear to ear, it wasn’t his family he looked for in the stands, but Vivian. She was the first person he sought out when he got back to campus, Pi Kapp quickly throwing together a celebratory championship bash despite being the week before exams. He didn’t expect her to be there, and she wasn’t, though that didn’t stop him from sending her one—or four—too many drunk texts inviting her out.

It wasn’t until several days later, as he was lying in bed and reading through the ‘good luck’ text she’d sent him before his Finance exam, that the weight of his feelings for her came crashing down on him. He knew he wasn’t Vivian smart, but he didn’t think he was that dumb either, to be completely oblivious to the way he felt about her.

And of course, it was just his luck that his grand revelation came to him the night before graduation day.

The buzz of Vivian’s alarm went off at 7am, but she was already lying awake, staring at the ceiling. She’d woken up around 5:30, or thereabouts, unable to sleep for the swirl of emotions building inside of her.

It was graduation day, which brought a bittersweet sense of pride. She was excited to celebrate, to reminisce on all of her and her friends’ accomplishments over the last four years, but she was also anticipating the looming goodbye to the city that had become her home—and everyone in it.

Of course, there was one person in particular that she was dreading saying goodbye to. Now that she had come to terms with her feelings for Andrei, she’d been mulling over what to do about them—tell him, and risk her heart breaking, or keep it to herself, and wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of her life.

Surely, she assumed, Andrei was already thinking ahead to his future, ready for the bright lights of PNC Arena, the fame and glory of the NHL, and beautiful girls lined up down the street for the chance to talk with him. He’d be signing his first contract soon, worth more money in one season than she’d make in five years. There was no way he would even be thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend from his freshman year of college—not while he had the world at his feet.

Plus, there was the tiny detail that Vivian still hadn’t accepted a job offer, though she had received two to date; while one was in New York City, a fairly reasonable distance from Raleigh, the other was in San Francisco, on the other side of the country. Still, Vivian couldn’t shake the feeling that she should tell him, and she knew she’d never forgive herself if she kept it in and found out years later that he’d wanted the same.

Vivian had just finished applying her makeup when she heard a knock on the front door. Judging by the sound of it, her housemate was in the shower, and she knew the other two weren’t home, so she tightened the tie on her robe and ran downstairs to answer it.

As she opened the door, Vivian came face to face with Andrei—or at least, face to chest. He was panting on the front porch, half dressed with his tie undone as he stood in front of her.

“Andrei, what are you doing here? I’m trying to get ready—”

“I—you look beautiful,” he said, breathless.

“Thank you,” she said, then repeated, “What are you doing?”

“I need to talk to you.” There was a fire in his eyes that told her it was important, so she stepped aside and let him in.

Before she could say anything, he was climbing the steps up to her room, two at a time, and she jogged behind him, confused.

“What is going on? You’re scaring me, Andrei.”

“I—I had to see you.”

She raised her eyebrows, silently asking for him to continue. He took a moment to catch his breath, then said, “I couldn’t sleep last night. I can’t stop thinking about you. I almost called you like, eight different times. And then it hit me.”

Vivian held her breath, anticipating what might be coming next, though nothing could really prepare her for the words that came out of his mouth.

“Ya lyublyu tebya,” he said.

Vivian stared at him, the foreign words hanging between them in the silence. Outside of the occasional curse word or when he was really drunk, she’d hardly ever heard him speak Russian, as he put much of his energy into learning ‘good and proper’ English once he had committed to finishing his degree at BU. “I… I don’t know what that means.”

Andrei smiled, his eyes warm as he looked at her. “I think you do.”

And she did. Vivian Adams wasn’t the smartest girl in her class for nothing. But in that moment, she wasn’t Vivian Adams, President of Alpha Zeta, Summa Cum Laude. She was just Viv. And fuck, if Viv didn’t love him too.

“Andrei…”

“God, I fucking love you,” he said, like he was unable to stop himself now that he’d said it once. “I don’t think I ever stopped. It just got hidden because you weren’t around. And then we got paired together, and I just—”

His monologue was cut off when Vivian lunged forward to press her lips against his. Suddenly, he didn’t give a single shit about what else had left to say, instead focused on kissing her back as he threaded his hands through her hair. He never wanted to stop kissing her, not now that he finally felt her perfect lips again.

For the moment, she was content to just kiss him, familiarizing herself with his mouth after being separated for so long. But when his tongue traced along the seam of her lips, she was all too eager to let him deepen the kiss, welcoming him into her mouth. Andrei’s hand gripped her jaw, keeping her pressed against him while his other hand wandered to her chest, massaging her breast over the soft fabric of her robe—the way he’d wanted to since he saw the glimpse of her cleavage at the party.

Soon enough, Vivian found herself lying on her back, Andrei’s large frame looming over her as he kissed his way down her jaw. Her hands roamed his broad, muscular back, feeling the divots of his shoulders as he held himself over her. The feeling of his mouth on the sensitive skin of her neck made her shiver, his tongue tracing the spot that always drove her crazy. Judging by the moan that slipped from her mouth, it was safe to say that spot was still a weakness.

“Andrei,” she mumbled, brain fuzzy as she searched for the words to say. “We can’t—have to—”

“I know, I know. Just give me a minute,” he pleaded against her neck, mouth making its way to her chest. “Please.”

‘A minute’ turned into ten, leaving her completely naked with his head buried between her thighs. A feral groan left his mouth when his tongue first lapped against her, instantly remembering the sweetness of the way she tasted. He’d never been a bad lover, but clearly the years apart had earned him a lot of practice, for his tongue flicking her clit sent her flying over the edge with ease. Smirking to himself, pleased with his ability, Andrei placed gentle kisses against the inside of her thighs as she came down from her high.

“Viv,” her housemate called from downstairs, bursting her bubble sooner than she might have liked, “your parents are here.”

It only took a moment for Vivian to come out of her orgasmic haze, eyes widening as she realized the state she was in. Her eyes shot to Andrei’s, who was frozen with his lips on her inner thigh.

“Fuck,” she whispered, quickly standing up and gesturing for Andrei to straighten himself up. Then, she shouted down the stairs, “Hi, mom and dad. I’ll be down in a second—just finishing up!”

She was quick to throw on the dress she had set out, hanging completely forgotten once Andrei arrived. Her hair was only partially done, but she managed to salvage it by throwing a few loose curls in; fortunately, her head would be covered by her cap for most of the photos.

It was only when she glanced at Andrei, wiping off the remnants of her orgasm in the sink before she realized how this would look. Obviously, this new stage of their relationship—where did this leave them?—was more than fresh; she wasn’t even sure if her parents would remember that she told them they’d been paired together for the capstone project.

“I love you, too, you know,” she said, stepping forward to straighten his tie. He smiled, stealing another precious moment to press another kiss against her lips. “But now’s the real test—act normal with my parents down there.”

“And pretend I didn’t just have my head between their daughter’s legs?” he grinned. “Oh, baby, you know I’m a parent charmer.”

As expected, her parents’ reactions to seeing Vivian walk down the stairs flanked by Andrei was all but priceless. Her father visibly bristled, while her mother looked surprised but pleased—she’d always been a fan of Andrei.

Vivian hugged them both, apologizing for the wait and hoping they didn’t think too hard about Andrei descending from her bedroom at 8:30 in the morning. “Mom and dad, you remember Andrei.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Adams, it’s so good to see you again,” he greeted quickly, shaking her dad’s hand firmly and accepting a confused but gracious hug from her mom. “Viv and I had to submit a final analysis for our project—there was a glitch in the system.”

A weak lie, but Mrs. Adams was so pleased to see Andrei that she didn’t question it.

“Andrei, will you be heading to the convocation center with us?”

“I’ve got to meet my family, but I’m sure my mother would love to meet you,” Andrei replied with a smile. “We’ll find you after the ceremony?”

Vivian nodded, sending Andrei off with a smile and a “see you soon,” followed shortly by an eyebrow raise from her mother once the door was closed.

The ceremony itself was dull, but the day was a whirlwind nonetheless: many photos with friends and family (including a long-awaited introduction between the Svechnikovs and the Adamses), a boozy brunch with Alpha Zeta seniors and families, followed by a reminiscent stroll through campus, and finally a nice dinner with her family. Before Vivian knew it, it was 11pm and she was at the bar with her friends, taking celebratory shots that burned her throat. Vivian was happy, but something was missing.

And then that something came walking in, a smile on his face when he easily located her amongst the crowd. The dimple she’d always loved stood out, warmth flooding her body as he weaved his way through the throng of people toward her.

“Hi,” she said, as if their earlier confessions left undiscussed made her suddenly shy around him.

“Hi,” he said back, mocking her a little bit with a playful smile.

There was an elephant in the room—two elephants, really—crammed into the dimly lit room with 80’s music blaring over the speakers, but a packed bar full of fresh college graduates was hardly the place to address them.

“You want to get out of here?” he asked quietly, jerking his head toward the door.

Vivian didn’t have the words to describe just how badly she wanted that, instead nodding with a smile. He matched hers, following her out and completing an Irish Goodbye without a second thought.

The Uber ride back to her apartment was quiet save for the song playing softly on the radio, Vivian’s thigh pressed against Andrei’s in the backseat. His hand found hers silently, lacing their fingers in a gesture that went far beyond comfort in a dark car.

I saw you last night and got that old feeling When you came in sight, I got that old feeling The moment that you danced by, I felt a thrill And when you caught my eye, my heart stood still

Once again I seemed to feel that old yearning Then I knew the spark of love was still burning There'll be no new romance for me, it's foolish to start For that old, that old feeling is still in my heart

It felt like fate, and maybe it was, Frank Sinatra’s soothing voice warbling through the speakers about a love rekindled. Andrei hummed the same to her, softly, in the darkness of her bedroom as he took his time undressing her, unveiling each inch of her skin like it was brand new to him.

Strong arms held her close as he laid her back against the bed, settling his body over hers before kissing her deeply. His tongue sought out her own, his hands running over her exposed skin as if he needed to re-commit it to memory. Their position was familiar, the same one they were in just over 12 hours prior, but the weight between them was much, much different.

This time, Vivian’s hands found Andrei’s slacks, palming the bulge she met with fervor and savoring the groan that left his throat. Encouraged and eager to produce that sound again, she dipped her hand beneath his waistband and wrapped her fingers around him, stroking him lightly.

“Viv,” he grunted, nose trailing along her jawline as he held himself up—barely. “Need—need to be in you.”

She agreed wholeheartedly, helping Andrei shuck his pants down his legs, joining her clothes on the floor. It was their first time being completely bare together in years, and though she shouldn’t have been surprised, Vivian was in awe of him, a sculpted Russian god in her bed.

Andrei’s hands ran down her thighs, hoisting each of them over his hips as he settled between her legs. To slow down the moment, he pressed his forehead against hers, eyes gazing into her own before he kissed her deeply. Vivian could feel him, throbbing, bumping against the inside of her thighs, brushing against her core where she, too, was desperate to have him.

“Andrei,” she murmured softly against his lips, encouragement spoken in just a sigh of his name.

She didn’t want him to stop touching her, whining reluctantly when he sacrificed a few moments to part his hands from her skin in favor of guiding his length toward her. Vivian had no breath left in her lungs when he finally pushed in, slowly, his considerable girth something she was no longer used to accommodating. Andrei stilled, telling himself it was so she could adjust; in reality, he needed the time just as much, fearful of busting his load far, far too early.

No, Andrei wanted to savor this, to enjoy it. Though he’d had many partners since Vivian, none of them felt quite the way she did, squeezed him quite the way her perfect cunt did, made his balls tighten when she moaned out his name the way she did—but he hadn’t realized how much he missed her until that moment. Her skin against his lit him on fire from the inside out, and he was sure it was because of more than her body that he wanted to taste every inch of.

Andrei stretched her entirely, the feeling so incredibly delicious that all thought was absent from Vivian’s brain. All she could do was hold onto him, her hands caressing the skin of his arms, his shoulders, his back, her legs wrapped tightly around him as his hips dipped against hers. He was steady in his rhythm, patient, like he was following a beat only he could hear.

When his lips found hers again, he drank in the moans that she offered, tugging her up toward him until they were seated and she was straddling him, unable to get close enough. His hands on her hips encouraged her to move, to drive herself toward the high she desperately sought, that he could feel in the flutter of her heat around him. With her head buried in the crook of Andrei’s thick neck, Vivian cried out as she came, her vision going fuzzy as the climax hit her like a freight train.

Andrei’s arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her closely as he, too, met his end, spilling into her waiting core with a grunt. His body was tingling, as was Vivian’s, but he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again, doing his best to pour the love that had been forgotten for the last two years back into her.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, moments later when he was lying beside her, admiring the way her body looked wrapped in the sheet, pressed against his frame. The feeling of her, snug in his arms, made everything feel right in the world.

Vivian smiled, shy, burying her face against his chest in embarrassment. He nudged her with his shoulder, adding for emphasis, “You are.”

“Drei…”

The old nickname fell from her lips without her even realizing, familiar and warm in so many ways. Andrei smiled at it, liking the way it felt.

Silence fell between them, comfortable as they basked in the glorious haze. Then, Vivian’s voice spoke quietly in the darkness of her room. “I don’t want this to end.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re both leaving BU soon,” Vivian said, not ready to burst their bubble yet, but the words just kept coming out. “And I don’t know where I’m going yet, but I have offers in San Francisco and New York, and you’re going to be this hot shot NHL star, and I’m sure your DM’s are already full of pretty girls and–”

“Viv,” he interrupted her softly. “I don’t care about that. I want to be with you.”

“But… I applied to jobs all over the place,” she fretted, hating herself for letting her anxiety ruin their perfect, blissful moment.

Andrei paused, nudging her jaw with a finger to encourage her to meet his eyes. “I lost you once; I’m not going to do it again. I want this, and if you do too, then we’ll make it work. Okay?”

“You mean that?”

“Eto vsegda byl ty, Viv. The girl in my story has always been you.”

–

The next morning, the light streaming through the windows woke Vivian up, stretching her deliciously sore muscles before she registered the large, warm body beside her. She took a moment to watch Andrei sleep, his chest gently rising and falling with his breath, features so relaxed and peaceful.

When she rolled over to glance at her phone, she saw the notification for an unread email. The sound of her gasp woke Andrei up, startled at the sound.

“What? Are you oka– what happened?” he spluttered, taking in her wide eyes.

Instead of speaking, Vivian simply turned her phone toward him to show him what had tears brimming in her eyes: An offer letter for a Financial Analyst position with CyberComm.

“That’s great, Viv,” he smiled. “Congratulations.”

“Andrei,” Vivian said, sensing that he didn’t quite put it together. “CyberComm has an office in Charlotte.”

“Oh.”

“Charlotte is in North Carolina.”

“Oh.”

Her eyebrows raised, watching the realization dawn on Andrei’s face as he processed. “You’re moving to North Carolina?”

“We’re moving to North Carolina.”

Vivian didn’t know if she should call it fate, chance, coincidence, but five months later when she watched Andrei debut in his first ever NHL game, a Svechnikov jersey proud on her shoulders, she decided it was best to call it the mystery of love.

#andrei svechnikov fic #andrei svechnikov imagine #andrei svechnikov x reader #hockey fic #nhl imagine #andrei svechnikov x y/n #andrei svechnikov fanfiction #andrei svechnikov fanfic #andrei svechnikov blurb #andrei svechnikov smut #nhl fic #a. svechnikov #hockey imagine #nhl fanfic #hockey romance

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frostluvrs · 8 months

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i know we can all have our own opinions but the opinion that boston was right for telling sand about mew because “he deserves to know even if he didn’t go about it the right way” is honestly such a horrible take in my opinion.

yes sand should know that ray has feelings for someone else. yes he was going to get hurt eventually when he realizes that ray is not as deep into this relationship as sand is already and that he has feelings for someone else still but they didn’t even get a chance to actually get to know each other some more and maybe actually reach a point where ray can open up about it before boston ruined it. and sure maybe ray never would have and it still would have ended with sand finding out in a less than ideal way but ray WAS feeling comfortable enough to open up about other things so WHO KNOWS. we had jojo confirming that ray was trying to move on too. all of the development they were having got crushed. yes you can say ray is not serious about sand sure but they were going at a slow pace that worked for them even IF sand was in a different headspace than ray.

you also have to remember ray won’t even acknowledge or doesn’t realize the fact that he might feel something more for sand so why would he tell him about mew when he can’t even open up about or realize that? boston telling sand then and there in that way in that moment also ruined the good communication they were having. boston got into his head and he won’t talk to ray about it when ray genuinely wants to lay it all out there. and i would assume a lot of that has to do with his ex and the number that he did on him. like yes you can say that boston helped him realize that he was too far in too fast and ray wasn’t there with him but in the long run that does nothing for sand or their relationship.

and he also hurt ray because jojo said ray was genuinely trying to start to move on. sure it’s not that easy but having your crush thrown back in your face after having such a good time with another person surely doesn’t help. and boston pulling the “but if you don’t love mew why are you so mad” thing like i don’t know maybe because you took pics and are bragging about it? maybe because you’re throwing his crush back in his face for no reason at all other than to hurt him?

sidenote but people that were saying “oh see how it shows that he still loves mew by him getting mad” ?? we all knew he wasn’t over him yet it’s not that easy especially when you’re attached to someone especially with what he’s done for ray. but the reason at least in my eyes he got mad is because he’s throwing his crush in his face to hurt him and to ruin things and because he took PHOTOS. i love that boston is horrible and messy. he’s an entertaining character but i don’t understand how you could partly defend this just because “sand deserves the right to know’’.

also quite frankly (and sand knows this now even though it hurts me to say) ray and sand aren’t a thing. they aren’t even in a pre relationship stage. could they have gotten there? maybe but that’s not the point. to ray this is is just having fun (even though i think ray has feelings somewhere in there) and he assumed it was to sand too which of course he did because sand always tells him they’re nothing and says he would never date ray. sand got the wrong idea and it’s sad to realize but ray’s not wrong for not mentioning mew.

#i wasn’t gonna rant but it came out #idk i Know we can all have our own opinions i respect that but some of the only friends takes i see give me a headache #only friends the series #b speaks

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paristheonewhoreads · 3 months

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Cowboy and the Tigress

Chapter three 🌷☁️ 4.9k words

Warnings: torture. Heavy mentions of blood, and cutting. Physical pain is inflicted on character. A bit of a whirlwind or emotions. If I’m missing any tw please let me know. <3

Spring 2023, Central Boston QZ

It’s staring to get warmer. Either that or you’re just too hot. The trip down to central Boston took two days and one night. Hank was right, whole place is crawling with FEDRA soldiers. Apparently, the reason for this was the fact that rations had been lower than they’d been in years and they needed to reinforce their man power just in case people start to riot. That and the fact the fireflies had started to make quite the spectacle themselves. And it’s been far from just a pretty light show.

Arriving to the apartment you’ve got down here isn’t at all pleasant. It does however, conveniently happen to be close to the underground tunnels. You’ve started asking around for more information on Robert, apparently you’re not the only one the fuckers been nagging.

Setting down your bag on the old bed you’ve got, you start to look around the apartment. You’ve stashed quite the bit of goods all over this place. A hole behind the swan painting in the living room. That has a whole box full of ration cards, along with some fake documentation of your identification cards.

Another in the loose boards of the ceiling above the toilet, and two more under the floorboards. One in the bedroom closet and the other under the couch. All of which containing even more ration cards, all collected through the years, along with a couple of small hand guns and ammunition.

Once you check and confirm that everything is where it should be, you decide to take a much needed shower. You reek of blood from infected you’d had to kill on your way here, alongside dirt and sweat that’s accumulated on your body. This part of Boston, unlike the other you’ve made a home of, doesn’t have the peasantry of hot water, or much if any electricity.

You step into the cold water, your body tensing at first but inevitably adjusting to it and relatively relaxing itself into its harsh fridgedness. You let it run down your back and soak your hair, then begin to wash away all the filth. At first the water that goes down the drain is absolutely disgusting. A terrible color of swamp water is the best you can describe it.

Eventually however, once the water is just as clear as when coming out of the shower head, and your hair has been washed twice and conditioned, body free of any grime, do you finally turn the valve off and step out.

The cold draft in the otherwise empty apartment doesn’t help warm you up with the fresh cold water still beading down your skin. Yanking your towel off the hook on the door you wrap yourself up.

Taking a look in the mirror, you see yourself for the first time in what must be weeks. You look paler than usual, probably due to the winter. Your cheeks still hold their fullness. Curious, you let the towel fall from your form.

It’s been forever since you’ve looked at your body. You do a lot to keep it fit although not necessarily purposefully. All the walking, running, sometimes even climbing and swimming do you a favor in keeping a pleasurable figure. Sometimes you don’t feel as feminine as you would like, but in a world like this, with the line of work you’re in, that’s the least of your worries.

You brush your hair and lotion yourself up, finally settling in as you dress in some clean comfortable clothes. One of Hanks old hoodies and a pair of old shorts you’ve had for ages. Sitting yourself on old worn out couch, you gaze at nothing in particular.

You miss Ellie. Thinking back to how sad she sounded when you’d said your goodbyes before leaving, tugged at your heart strings. It feels selfish, and perhaps you were, for even coming on this trip. All because of the fact that you wanted to show this asshole who the fuck he was messing with.

You’d make it up to her, you decide. You’ll get her the book she wanted and maybe a couple other trinkets you can find. Bring a hand up to your neck you feel your locket. It had belonged to your mother once. You’d taken it from her as she lay dead in the floor of your living room as something to remember her by. That was a long time ago.

Now, in present time, it holds a picture of Ellie and yourself. It’s a fond memory frozen in time by the photograph. You remember it to the ‘T’. It’d been the first christmas after a year of getting into the business your so indulged in now. You’d worked your ass off for a year and it had paid off.

You were able to get Ellie actual presents for the first time. She was 10 at the time, she’d been so ecstatic when she saw an actual tree with lights on it and presents all wrapped up under it. The sound of her laughter and excitement fills your ears as you reminisce.

Smiling at the photo inside the small locket you start to drift into sleep. A much needed rest after your journey here, and for what’s to come.

You’re awoken by knocking at the door. The sun was setting, practically gone behind the horizon. Sky becoming dark and cold without its warmth. You get up from the couch, grabbing the hand gun on the small side table besides you. Second nature at this point really.

Walking towards the door you peer through the peephole and see that it’s Amy. A dear friend, Hank must’ve let her know you’d be coming. You hurriedly open the door, smile wide and bright on your face.

Once the door opens and she sees you she too smiles brightly at you. “Hello you.” She says in a terrible British accent. It’d become your own little greeting between the two of you. Putting the gun in the waistband of your shorts you open your arms and embrace her. “Hello you.” You say back in a just as terrible British accent.

She giggles at your impression, and tightens her arms around you. Both of you stay in this embrace for about a minute until you break away, taking her in you feel relieved that she seems healthy.

“Here, come in.” You tell her and she walked past you into the living room as you look down the hallway, double checking to see if anyone else is around, before going back inside yourself.

“Well I see you’ve settled in. I was supposed to stop by earlier but I thought you’d probably just want to settle in by yourself.” She chatters, taking a seat on couch you’d just been napping on prior. You hadn’t noticed she’d had a plastic bag with her until she starts to take tupperware out and places it on the coffee table. “I also thought that maybe you’d be hungry. It’s quite the trip from all the way over there to here.”

“Lucky for you I am actually starving.” You laugh softly. Walking into the kitchen real quick you get both of you plates and some glasses along with a bottle of old wine you’d had stored away god knows how long ago. Trailing back into the living room you see her starting to open the containers.

“How’d you even know I was here?” You ask, while sitting down beside her and passing her her plate and glass. “Hank gave me a heads up last night that’d you’d be here, and I obviously wasn’t about to pass the opportunity of seeing you up.” She shrugged. You hum in acknowledgment and open the bottle of wine, pouring her a glass and yourself one.

Taking a sip from her glass, “God that’s good, haven’t had wine in who knows how long.” She jokes, and begins to serve you a plate and then herself. “This smells so good, when did you make this?” you’ve stuffed some of the baked potatoes she’s made along with some chicken and veggies.

“About an hour ago, that’s why I was late.” She says sheepishly, but you shake your head and continue to chew “mmm don’t be sorry, this is apology enough.” You say through a full mouth while pointing at your plate with your fork.

You both talk and catch up on what is is you’ve been up too. She tells you how she’s met a girl, and that they’ve been dating for about 10 months. “She’s so sweet and caring. At first I was nervous, she’s the first girl I’ve been with so, it’s all kind of new in a way. But refreshing for sure.” You’re happy for her, and tell her about how your still as single as ever. She jokes that it’ll take either another apocalypse for you to find someone or that you’ll probably end up like Hank, old and with absolutely no love life.

She asked about Ellie, to which you inform her of how she’s back home, probably giving Hank a run for his money, poor thing. The good, and the bad. Both of you talk about everything and nothing at the same time. Well into the hours of the night. Once both of your bellies are full and your empty plates are left abandoned on the table, you begin to get into serious conversation.

“So,” she begins, “Hank told me you’re here because some dickhead has been taking from trades?” Quirking a brow and taking a sip of her wine. You hum and let out an exasperated sigh, “yeah, son of a bitch has been crossing me for a couple months now. Had to come down here to deal with it.” You shrug

Amy nods in understanding “well if there’s anyone who knows what he’s in for it’s anybody but him. God knows people on your bad side don’t tend to have the best time.” She laughs. “Or the longest time either” you add, laughing yourself.

She makes a noise once she remembers something, and starts digging trough her bag again and pulls out a file, you sit up at this. “Hank told me to give this too you, said it have pretty much everything you need to know about your guy.” Handing it over to you you grab it and open it up to look through it.

As you’re reading, it has everything there is to know about him. His age, who he associates with, who he’s been seen talking to within this past week. The trades he’s been making on his own accord, and the amount of supplies he’s been taking from yours. It’s mostly been pills, and a couple crates of guns and ammunition.

Amy looks over your shoulder and rests her head on it. She sees the photo of Robert and picked it up from the file. “This him?” She asks, you nods you head. Humming, “He’s kind of cute. Maybe you can enemies to lovers your way with him.” She jokes.

You face become one of pure and utter revulsion “There is actually no way you just said that.” you deadpan. She lets out a giggle before looking at the photo again. Shrugging, “Eh, your right, his eyes are too far apart.” she notices, before tossing the photo back onto the pile of papers in the file.

She stands up from the couch “Well, it's getting late, I'll leave you too it.”. You look up from the paperwork and quickly close the file, getting up aswell and following her as she walks toward the door. “Thank you for coming over, and for feeding me.” you smile and hug her and she returns the gesture.

“Of course, anytime. Make sure to save the left overs for tomorrow so you can at least have breakfast.” you nod and open the door for her. “I will,” you smile “and be careful, try to get home quickly.” There's a final hug between the two of you, before she's walking down the hall, you wait until she's out of sight before turning back into the apartment and locking up.

You walk back to the living room and sit back down. The file says that Robert will be at a warehouse in two days. That's where you'll find him. Two days. You could work with that. More time for you to find Ellie’s books and other things. After storing the food back into the tupperware and putting the dishes in the sink you go back to bed. Two days. You’d wait till then.

During said days, you do indeed end up getting Ellie a spiderman comic, along with some space pins so she could add to her backpack that you think she’ll like. Once it’s about 11am you head out with a group of men to where Robert is hiding. Hank had set it up to where their only job was to get you to Robert and you’d take care of the rest.

After making sure to avoid FEDRA within the city you take a route to the outside where you make your way to the warehouse. This place is riddled with men. Men that don’t know they’re getting paid nothing to risk their lives for this prick.

On the top floor of a building not too far away you stand with the group of men that have come along. It’s only four of them plus yourself. “My guy says that Robert is in the very back of this quadrant.” You explain as they all get ready to head out. “That means we’re going to have to make our way across the yard. Try to refrain from shooting. Last thing I need is letting this guy know we’re coming. Everyone and anyone that gets in your way is to be terminated. You guys get me to Robert and I will make sure you all receive twice the amount of what we agreed on. We clear?” a chorus of ‘yes ma’am’s’ go around and you nod once before you’re making your way out.

As you all make your way building by building, room by room, you eventually make it to an office. It’s empty, but by the documents scattered on tables along with a useless car battery and an ashtray you know this is his office. You decide to wait until his return. Making sure there’s two men posted by the door to tackle him once the bastard steps in. The other two stay by the desk while you sit in his desk chair and make yourself comfortable.

You’re mindlessly reading through some documents until rapid footsteps reach the door. You send a look towards the man by the door as you sit up and he nods. As soon as the door bursts open Robert comes stumbling in until he’s landed face first onto the floor.

Your men by the door yank him up by his arms as he thrashes against them. “Who the fuck do you- let me go! You Fuck faces have any idea who you’re-“ he goes dead still once he meets your gaze. “Oh shit.” you hear him mutter to himself.

“Hey-tiy-I’m ma’am I- what-“ he stuttered “That name,” you get up from his chair and make your way to where they’re holding him. You not to one of them, and they kick the back of his knees so that he’s kneeling. “are for those whom I trust. You are no man I trust.” You say calmly. You were never one to immediately shout or scream when making a point. You’ve found over the years that this tends to unnerve people much more.

“I’ve heard you’ve been making quite the deals here recently.” You say, looking around the room. You smile “It’s quite the place you’ve got here.”

“Tiy-“ he starts, but you’re quick to reprimand him. “DONT” your voice thunders through the doom accompanied by a loud crack of skin to skin. The back of your hand stings, but you can only imagine what his cheek must feel like.

You’ve busted his lip, you notice. As blood begins to dribble from the open cut. He looks at you with a pure furry. You take a breath. “You know, I could have made this so much more easier. I could have just sent someone down here to kill you without having get my hands dirty,” You shake you head to yourself, “but no. I wanted to hear what excuses a dumb fuck like you could possibly come up with.” you snicker.

Before he can open his mouth you speak “tie him to the chair” is all you say. “NO! Wait ti- MA’AM hey! Please man c’mon-“ he’s cut off by one of the men growing a punch at him to which it gives them a chance to man handle him into the chair. They go at him, throwing punch after punch. Some to his face, others towards his stomach. It isn’t until he’s hunched over, blood dripping from his open mouth, and his face swollen and bruised that you finally tell them it’s enough.

“Everyone out,” you turn to the men “stay by the door. Kill anyone who gets close.” You shrug off your jacket. This going to get messy. You think to yourself.

Pulling up another chair in front of Robert you sit while snapping your fingers in front of his face. “C’mon now baby don’t go all delirious on me yet.” you fake pout. “Fun hasn’t even started yet.”

He looks up to you, eyes fuzzy. “Now, why on earth out of all the people you could’ve fucked with, did you decide I would be your best option?” you question him again once you don’t get an immediate answer “hm?” You tilt your head. No answer again.

“Christ, and here I thought you’d make this easy for yourself.” you sigh. Grabbing an extra rope you wrap it tightly around your knuckles. Before grabbing the other end and walking around him quickly, the rope constricting his air way as you tug back harder, making him gasp.

It takes everything in you not to just snap his neck and be done with it, go home, and go see your girl. But no, you want him to pay. Once he starts thrashing against the ropes holding him to the chair you let the one around his neck loosen. He gasps for air and coughs, greedily sucking in air. His face is red, even slightly purple now.

“I’m not going to ask you again.” you wait patiently. He eventually stops coughing and looks at you, “I-I didn’t think you’d notice. Look-I’m sorry okay- I- I’ll pay back everything I owe you I swear it. I-“ you click your tongue and shake your head.

“See, now if I did believe you which I don’t. It still wouldn’t matter whatever lame ultimatum you’d try and offer me. I think we both know you’re not leaving here alive rob.”

“God no- please! I swear it to you. I-I’ll pay it all back ALL OF IT! I SWEAR.”

“For fucks sake..STOP WHINING!” You yell again. This time you take the knife on your belt and slash him across his face. Blood splatters from the wound that’s open from the bottom left of his jaw all the way across to his right temple. He lets out a shout of agony. His blood landing on your clothes from the gash.

You grab a fistful of his hair and tug it back harshly. “You and me both know that your not getting out of this one Rob so why don’t you just do us both the favor of making this nice and quick.” you let go of his hair and shove his head back.

“Now, next question is really important for you to answer, okay?,” you ask “and if you don’t answer it, you lose a finger. Deal?” You take the knife and jab it into the middle of his back palm. He grunts in pain and barely nods.

“OK! Okay- fuck- I’ll tell you an-anything.” you give him a smile at that “okay, see? Good. Now, I need to know, who exactly it is you sold off my merchandise to.”

“I-I sold it to a lot of different people. I-I can’t remember everyone- I don’t know-“ he’s cut of my his own blood soaked scream as you pull out the knife from his hand as slice off not one, but two fingers.

“I didn’t like that answer. But it’s okay maybe you didn’t hear me correctly. I asked exactly who did you sell the supplies to. I want a name Rob cmon.” you chastise.

He’s full on sobbing now. Tears running down his face as he chokes on his own breath. “FUCK- I told you I don’t- I don’t know! I-it was multiple. I-I sold some to the-the fireflies- some to random people along the QZ I- I can’t remember their names.”

Him mentioning the fireflies has you perk up. You lean back in the chair your sitting in and hum. “Fireflies? What did you sell to them? Guns? Ammunition?”

“Y-yeah I sold them some ammunition- I-I sold them some guns too but those weren’t yours I swear.” your brows furrow. “Not mine? Who’s guns were they?”

“T-this one lady- s-she gave them to me f-for safe keeping and I sold em” you nod at what he says.

“And the fireflies, they know it was my shit you were selling them?” he shakes his head. “N-No they t-thought it was mine. I-I didn’t tell them it wasn’t my merchandise.”

Sighing, you get up from the chair. Thats enough. You think. As you go to call the men outside there’s gunshots outside. You tense, there’s multiple people, way more than your initial four guys.

Time to go then.

You storm over to Rob and jag his right thigh with your blade, while again yanking his hair back, forcing him to look at you. “When you came in you were running. From what?” You ask through gritted teeth. He starts to wheeze out a laugh and this gets your blood boiling. Grabbing onto the knife you twist it. While you give his hair another hash yank. “FROM WHAT?” You ask again

He grunts out and lets out a breath. More gunshots fire outside and shouting starts. “Those people who’s guns I sold off to the bugs. They ain’t take to lightly to me doing so, they’re looking for the battery, I tried selling it to em” He takes another ragged breath before continuing, making direct eye contact with you, “what? D’you think you were the only bitch that got her feathers ruffled?” He laughed as he finished his sentence. Jesus, he's going crazy.

The shouting and gun fire gets closer to the door. You grit your teeth again and untie the fucker from the chair and yank him up. He can hardly stand. “Get up.” you grit out, showing him towards the back door of the room.

You run and he has to practically be dragged by you. You run through the corridors till you make it to a back door that’s a dead end. You hear voices shouting behind you for rob. You look at him, he’s bloodied, from his face to his hand to his leg. It’s a mystery how he’s still even alive let alone standing.

Deciding that he really doesn’t hold any more value to you and that he’s just dead weight you kick the back of his knee and he tumbles over. You don’t think twice, you don’t flinch, you just aim your gun at him and pull the trigger. Good riddance.

You hear footsteps approaching you as you start to walk away. As you go to turn around the corner of the hallway, you see someone that you haven’t seen in years. Your gazes lock onto each other at the same time. On instinct you reach behind you and pull out your gun, pointing it at- “Marlene?” her name is coming out of your mouth before you could bite your tounge.

In seeing her, you falter for a second. Taking a step back, your eyebrows furrow. How many damn people knew that Robert would be here today of all days. “Well, this is a surprise.” her voice in monotone, sounds as if you being here was anything but a surprise. You start to slowly shake your head to yourself, not believing that she’s standing in front of you.

She takes a scan of you too. Almost as if she’s admiring how much you’ve grown in a way. Like a parent seeing their kid after being away at college for a year. Marlene sighs at you, nods and walks past. You watch her move like a ghost. And in a way she is, a ghost from the past come back to haunt you. “I needed him alive.” She tells the you.

You realize you’re standing there like an idiot, and snap yourself out of it, and stand up straight. “He would have been a waste of time if you were looking to talk to him.” She lets out a breath, before turning back to you. She’s injured, bad. Clutching her side as blood seeps through the thin material of her tank top.

“You look like shit.” you say, taking her in. The bags under her eyes don’t do her appearance any good; her bleeding out also doesn’t help. Marlene laughed through her nose and nods her head in agreement “yeah. You look…grown.” stating the obvious.

“Considering you haven’t seen me since I was 14, yeah, I have fucking grown.” You bite. Her eyes fall to the floor at your jab.Sighing, you move past it and try to make conversation “You still running this shit show?” you ask gesturing to the firefly symbol spray painted on the wall. She meets your gaze again, nodding again. “Yeah, or y’know, at least trying. Whole thing seems to be blowing up in front of my face” She breathlessly chuckles but winces half way through.

You cringe at how more blood seems to be flowing out of her wound. You point your chin at it, “you going to get that fixed up?” she looks down at it and then back up at you with a raised brow, “you offering?”. She can’t be serious.

Scoffing at her for even fathoming you helping her is delusional, “yeah not a fucking chance. I got what I came for,” you pause, “goodbye Marlene.”. You turn around and start to walk away, but she’s quick to take a couple of steps in a weak attempt at following you, “wait.” She rasps out.

You don’t know why you stop. You don’t know why you turn back to face her. But you do, and when you’re fully turned to her you can see the eagerness she has in her eyes. She wants to talk to you. “What?”

She licks her lips, and shifts her weight from one foot to the other, “there’s- there’s something that I need to tell you. It’s about-“ you cut her off “Look, no offense, but talking to you is the last thing I need right now.” with that you turn once again and walk out.

“It’s about your kid.” your head turns harshly to look at her, eyes furrowed, getting defensive “My kid? Is back at home safe. Not that that’s any of your business.” but she just shakes her head. “God you don’t even know.” She mutters, staring down the hallway.

Your eyes narrow at this, “I Don’t know what?” you prod. She sighs, “Your kids not safe. And she sure as hell isn’t home.” the grip on your gun tightens, a wave of unease suddenly flowing through you. Your change in demeanor doesn’t go unnoticed by Marlene, “Now don’t go making any rash decisions.” She slowly puts her hands up.

You ignore her request, “Answer my question. What don’t I know?! What the hell are you talking about? I swear to got if you’ve done something to her I’ll-“ she cuts off your threat, “Woah woah,” she tries to calm you down, as if your a fucking bull ready to charge, “I never said I did anything to your girl. Would you really think I’d stoop that low?” you scoff “Is that even a question?”

Her jaw ticks, “Alright, fine, I deserve that,” “oh you don’t have even the slightest idea of what you deserve.” You spit. “I’m done playing games, tell me what the hell you’ve done with my kid or I shoot.” You ease your gun higher, making your point.

“Your kids with me. I was out on a mission outside the QZ I was going through the abandoned mall, and I heard a commotion. Thought it was infected, and it was, but your kid was also there.” you can’t believe what you’re hearing. Ellie? Outside the QZ? No. It’s can’t be. She- she’s lying, she has to be.

“Alright look I don’t know what type of sick plan you’ve got or how you knew I’d be here but whatever this is your trying to do I-“ “I’ll take you to her.” She cuts in.

She lets out a painful breath, “she's been going crazy trying to get out of here. But she's smart, didn't give me her real name, said it was Veronica. Hasn't really talked either.”

Veronica.

Your mothers name.

“And before you go all mama bear on me, remind yourself that I am currently the only one that knows where she is and that I am also currently bleeding out.”

There’s a pause,

“Take me to her.”

Next Chapter

Chapter three omggg 🙈🙉🙊 This took forever to write and also I don’t even really like it… so I might come back and rewrite this chapter. I’m also working on expanding my vocabulary when writing as I feel sometime it sounds repetitive. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed!! 🫶🏼 again if you have any feedback I’d highly appreciate it! 💗 Thank you for reading 💌

P.s MY 100th POST 🥳🥳🥳

#ellie the last of us #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x reader #the last of us #joel miller x you #the cowboy and the tigress

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