you cannot tell me abby's favorite my little pony wasn't applejack.

I had my titties out i swear

of course jb would be picked to play someone named Tiger Brockman, who is fucking someone else's wife. that's spot on.

pics from the cast:

this is the first new year in a while that i'm actually following through on some of my intentions. i've been sober for 2 weeks, have read 2 books already, and have been taking 20-40 minute walks at least 2 or 3 times per week. also spending some more intentional time doing things with my partner.

This Place is a Prison

I woke up hungover to all hell. I feel insane that at this exact moment in time, I truly believe myself when I say "This is Day 1, I am never drinking that poison again". Like with 100% certainty I believe it. I do this every.....single....day....

So today, I am writing down my thoughts. Doing something different. I am inherently competitive and pretty much have accomplished whatever has stood in my way. Except this. Except alcoholism. I have this weird feeling in my gut that if I can't figure it out this time around, I may not see my kids graduate high school, raise kids, become beautiful adults. I must conquer this. And to do so, I must smash the FUCKING bloodline. My family has a mean mean gene in its roots. That mean gene is: Alcoholism.

My kids are at the age where if I stop now, they will probably never have any memories of me being an alcoholic. This is definitely a motivator. On the flip side, my Dad brought me to his refrigerator when I was 18 and told me this was now mine too. Free rein like a man. Within 3 months, I found myself playing online Poker at night drinking 4-6 Coors Lights and wanting more. The old adage of "one is one too many, 1 million is never enough."

Fast forward 20 years and it's the same, but it's progressive. I don't experience withdrawals when I go a few days without booze. I fear I may soon though if I don't stop immediately.

Like I mentioned earlier, being a competitor by nature I will be attempting a 75 day fitness challenge that included the elimination of alcohol for those 75 days. Mixed in with fitness (which I love), I think this could be a great motivator for me. And it may save my life if I can get my head out of my ass. 75 days seems not like forever. Forever seems impossible. One day at a time I suppose.

Todays Goals (will update before day's end)

45 minute walk with my dogs.

60 minutes of stationary bike

no fast food or processed food

1 gallon of water

Starting a new book, perhaps something spiritual.

NO ALCOHOL

Day 1, perhaps I can escape this prison. Time will tell, but today...I am going to smash this mother fucker.

It’s been officially 9 months;

9 months ago I quit the nicotine.

9 months ago I stopped drinking alcohol.

9 months ago I was facing homelessness again.

9 months ago my abusive ex gf abandoned me for a cis man.

But I’m still here 9 months later, finding myself again, transitioning, healing and growing. My life has been a long hard road, but I’m doing okay now. Things could be a lot better, but I’m doing the best that I can.

Here’s to another 9 months, 9 years and many many more~

Willie Strings!!!

One year clean

One year ago today I had my last drink. My last drunk. My last drunken fuck up.

I woke up this morning one year ago hopeless, depressed and wanting to die.

A nice lady called me from the 24hr AA meeting, who is now my sponsor, and I started my booze free journey that day and I haven’t looked back yet.

I don’t want to go through another detox, another bottomless pit of despair.

So I take it one day at a time and work everyday to stay away from that first drink because for me, it’s life or death.

I have been californiasober for a while so no titties sorry guys but i have another wig

I cannot STAND when people are on a high horse about sobriety. Especially when you are consistently blaming your issues on someone else. Pointing fingers/shaming others to make yourself look better is nasty, boo.

Sobriety is not the same for everyone, and blanketing it can be highly alienating for other people. “I only take advil.” Okay, that’s you. I take medications that are addicting, but save my life by stabilizing me out so that I no longer am a danger to myself. It doesn’t mean that I am still in active addiction because I’m an addict. The toxic stance that many people promote is disappointing in communities they are supposed to be supporting one another. You are not better than anyone else based on your sobriety, including people still active in addictions. Sobriety has many faces and faucets, and you don’t know what may be going on in someone else’s life. Sobriety has many faces, and it isn’t up to you to decide which face is best, or right, for another person.

juice tryn give me a sign i should pop that perc to celebrate

Song Review: Billy Strings feat. Willie Nelson - “California Sober”

Billy Strings is 30. Willie Nelson turns 90 April 29. Neither, they sing on their new joint, can stay out and party like I did back in the day

So I’m California sober, as they say.

This is the chorus of the “California Sober,” Strings and Nelson’s bluegrass-country, weed-celebrating single rolled out 24 hours before the second-biggest day - the first being 4/20 - on Nelson’s calendar.

It’s a high-potency track with Strings blowing thick solos in the haze of Mickey Raphael’s harmonica, some steel and brushed drums and his own band.

“I will cherish this song for the rest of my life,” Strings said in a statement in which he deemed Nelson a “living legend … an absolute treasure and inspiration to us all.”

“Willie’s music has helped shape so many of our lives, even if we don’t know it,” Strings added. “It’s there. It’s woven into the fabric of our nation. I feel almost patriotic when I think of Willie Nelson.”

Grade card: Billy Strings feat. Willie Nelson - “California Sober” - B+

4/28/23

day 16 alcohol free.