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orphicdreamers-wp · 4 months

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It’s Not Christmas Without You— Quinn Hughes

Summary: Your seasonal depression gets the best of your relationship leading to an awkward Christmas

Content Warnings: Seasonal depression, panic & anxiety attacks, use of antidepressants, ocd, chemical imbalance, angsty hughes brothers

Pairing; Ex Gf! Reader x Quinn Hughes

September

You had never quite understood why your brain felt so hardwired to the point you couldn’t comprehend anything happening around you. It affected everything you did, but no one could put their finger on why sometimes things got to be much for you it brought you to tears. For the most part, your boyfriend Quinn tried to help you but when the weather in Vancouver shifted just as he’d been named captain. He just couldn’t do it anymore, he tried but it was draining him.

You sat cross legged in the center of Quinn’s living room, reorganizing his CD collection for the third time this week. Quinn sighed as he entered his apartment, coming home from a rough roadie, all he wanted was to take a scorching shower and talk to you while you guys laid in his bed watching a cheesy movie. He didn’t utter a word as he walked past to his room and dropped his stuff off before returning to his living room and letting out a sigh, “The CDS haven’t magically moved since Tuesday dollface.”

You ignored your boyfriend, again. Quinn blew out a breath he’d been holding in for god knows how long, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” He expected you to protest against him trying to break up with him, but you didn’t. Which somehow made Quinn more upset at the entire ordeal, “So your fine with just throwing away the last 6 years?” You kept quiet, knowing that if you dared to speak you would say something that you and Quinn couldn’t come back from. So you stayed silent as you stood up and slipped on your shoes and grabbed your coat and walked out of Quinn’s apartment and his life.

You returned to your shared loft with your friend Tess and finally let your composure fall. A wretched sob ripped through your chest as you leaned against the door and slid to sit against the wall. Tess hurried out of her bedroom and was at your side in seconds, “Oh honey. It’s okay.” You felt like someone was wrapping barbed wire around your throat, “I can’t, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. Something isn’t right Tess.” Your breathing began to quicken as your chest tightened. Tess rubbed your back reassuringly, “I got you.” You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing. Once you were calm you turned to Tess, “Quinn and I broke up. I think I need to go home and get help.” And that was exactly what you did.

You went back to Toronto and moved back into your childhood bedroom, went to a neurologist and found out that your brain had an insufficient amount of neurotransmitters which could play part in your moods. The doctor told you that you needed to boost your serotonin and dopamine levels and prescribed you antidepressants and referred you to a women’s mental health clinic. You noticed slowly that your mood became less negative and you were able to focus better. But you also noticed that you began to get thinner and no matter what you did it never seemed like you gained weight.

December

You were reluctant to go to the Hughes Christmas dinner, although Ellen had reassured you that you were more than welcome. You still had your bad days and didn’t know if being around Quinn would make you snap and you didn’t want to snap at him. So you told your mother you’d think about it but that she should go. Which she did. You mother and Ellen were in grossed in a conversation over linens when Luke finally mentioned you, “So I guess she really doesn’t have anything to say to you Quinn. She would never miss out on Dad’s meatballs.” Quinn shot his brother a glare as your mother spoke softly, “She’s just having a hard time right now, her meds are messing with her.” Ellen smiled solemnly, “How is she adjusting to her antidepressants?”

Quinn looked taken aback learning your on antidepressants now, “Is she okay?” Your mom smiled as she lifted her wine glass to her lips, “Her doctor told her she doesn’t have sufficient neurotransmitters and it’s a chemical imbalance in her brain that’s made her feel like this all these years. The doctor said there’s a good chance coupled with the harsh weather and seasonal depression that’s what made her feel so poorly. Nothing you could have done would have helped Quinn.” Jack rolled his eyes subtly, “So because she’s mentally not okay, we’re supposed to be fine with her destroying Quinn?” Ellen glared at her middle child, “Jack! If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say sit.”

You stared at the stack of wrapped gifts you had gotten for each member of the Hughes family. You sighed as you slid off the couch and pulled on a dark red sweater and some jeans and took the gifts to your car and made your way to the Hughes family home. You were unsure of what would happen when you walked in but you were facing your fears today. You rang the doorbell, not expecting Quinn to be on the other side of the door.

His eyes held an unreadable expression that you had grown to miss. You were almost positive that you had lost your voice when he spoke, “Hey.” You smiled, “Hi, you look uh great.” Quinn rubbed his neck as a deep blush rolled over his cheeks, “Thanks. You do too.” He took some of the gifts as you I walked inside the house and placed your gifts with the rest of the gifts under the tree. You slipped your coat off and hung it in the closet with the others. Quinn frowned ever so slightly when he took note of how the jeans that had once hugged your body in all the right places were loose on you and how you looked at him like you might break if you looked at him long enough.

Ellen’s voice rang out from the dining room, “Who was it honey?” You smiled warmly as you entered the dining room behind Quinn, “Hi.” Ellen’s eyes glimmered with excitement as she hopped up and pulled you into a bone crushing hug, “We’re so glad you could make it after all. Right guys?” The Hughes men muttered out agreements. You sat down at the only empty seat which, as the universe was punishing you, was directly across from Jack with Quinn sitting beside you. Conversation flowed between you and everyone besides Jack and Quinn.

Jack spoke up in condescending tone, “So Y/N what have you been up to since you and Quinn broke up?” Jack let out a groan as Quinn swiftly kicked him underneath the table. You felt your smile drop, “I moved back home like 3 days after. I’ve been getting a lot of help. Working on understanding my feelings.” Jack hummed, “Seeing anyone? You sure are slimming down.” You tensed as you drew in a deep breath, “Nope. Wouldn’t be fair to a poor guy. I’m still in love with someone and I’m not sure relationships are for me. But can we just talk about your game against the Red Wings? I mean I was on my seat the entire time.”

Jack’s smirk fell, “You still watch my games?” You shrugged, “I watched Trev kick your ass. I also watched Quinn hand the Sharks the biggest loss. I didn’t stop watching hockey because I got broken up with.” You melted into Quinn’s touch as he placed a hand on your thigh. He mouthed inaudibly, ‘Thank you’ Dinner ended and Ellen insisted on going straight to presents. You smiled warmly as Jack and Luke opened their gifts from you. You You played more into a joke with Jack. It was a shirt that read ‘Straight Outta The Penalty Box.’ Jack’s gift sent his brother’s into laughter while Jack sent you a playful eye roll, “Now I know she actually watches my games still.” Luke’s gift seemed to be more fitting for him, he opened the box and ran his fingers over the soft tie that was adorned with red hockey sticks, “Thank you.” You smiled as Quinn picked up his gift from you, “I didn’t know what to get you so with my luck you’ll probably hate it.”

Quinn opened the box and his eyes softened as he looked at the gift, “You remembered. Why would I hate this?” He pulled out the large cooling weighted blanket. You barely remembered him mentioning wanting one. Apparently your subconscious remembered. Quinn’s eyes softened as you began to tidy up the wrapping paper as everyone continued to open gifts.

Without being noticed Quinn slipped into his childhood bedroom and opened his bag and pulled out a small gift wrapped box. He slipped it into his pocket and returned to the living room. His eyes immediately were on you as you clasped a necklace around his mother’s neck. Soon enough all the gifts were opened and Quinn spoke warmly, “I actually have a gift for you Y/N.” Your eyes widened, “O-okay.” Quinn slipped the small box from his pocket and placed it in your hand. By the size alone you knew it was jewelry of some sort.

You opened the box and your eyes widened and swelled with tears, “You can’t. Not with how horrible I was to you.” Quinn shook his head, “No I can. I have loved you since I have known you. I don’t care if your going through the worst thing possible. I love you and I just wanna be there for you no matter what. For the rest of my life. I want to be your husband. Marry me.” Your eyes welled, “I don’t know if I can give you the life you want Quinn.” Quinn shook his head as he pulled you closer to him, which you didn’t think was humanly possible, “The life I want is waking up to you pressing your ice cold feet to my legs to warm them up, the life I want is holding your purse so you can stop and pet every stray cat you see. The life I want is anytime and everything as long as you are there. You are the one good thing in my life.” You sniffled, “Fine I’ll marry you.”

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes x you #hockey player x reader #fanfic #hockey #nhl #nhl fanfiction #jack hughes x reader #qh43 #jack Hughes #luke hughes

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opencommunion · 1 month

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"The raid began at 2:00 am on the morning of 18 March, causing a 'number of martyrs and wounded,' Gaza’s Health Ministry said, adding that whoever 'tries to move is targeted by sniper bullets and quadcopters.' Israeli bombardment of the hospital killed dozens of Palestinians, according to WAFA news agency. Medical sources told the outlet that a fire broke out during the raid, putting several women and children at risk of suffocation. Forces besieged the hospital and cut off all communications in the area. 'Occupation forces stormed the Specialized Surgery Building and the Emergency Reception Building in Building 8, and opened fire directly at anyone who moved,' the sources told WAFA. They added that medical teams were unable to treat the wounded and that Israeli forces fired at anyone who approached the windows of the hospital. Dozens were also detained inside the hospital.

... Clashes raged between Israeli troops and several resistance groups in the vicinity of Al-Shifa Hospital on Monday. The Mujahideen Brigades, the Omar al-Qasim Forces, and the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades engaged Israeli troops heavily near the facility, targeting them with machine gun fire and explosive attacks.

In a statement, Hamas condemned the 'criminal Zionist … aggression against Al-Shifa Hospital,' adding that it reflects 'a state of confusion' and 'a loss of hope' for any Israeli military achievements. The Palestinian Mujahideen Movement said in a statement that attacks on Al-Shifa and other hospitals are carried out 'with American cover,' blaming 'Western governments, negligent Arab regimes, and an incapable international system.'

Al-Shifa Hospital is among the last few hospitals in the northern Gaza Strip and shelters thousands of displaced. In November last year, it was invaded by Israeli troops, forcibly evacuated, and transformed into a detention center. The new raid in Al-Shifa came hours after Hamas’ Qassam Brigades revealed the details of a sniping operation that targeted and killed an officer in the elite Israeli Shaldag Unit, who was in charge of Israel’s November raid into the medical facility."

#palestine #zionism #resistance

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workersolidarity · 22 days

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⚠️WARNING: GRAPHIC FOOTAGE⚠️

🔞

[ 📹 A young Palestinian girl is critically wounded and brought to Al-Aqsa Martyrs Hospital in the city of Deir al-Balah, in the central Gaza Strip, after an Israeli airstrike targeted the building she and her family were sheltering in. Over 14'500 children have been killed in Zionist attacks on Gaza since the start of the war in October, 2023.]

🇮🇱⚔️🇵🇸 🚀🏘️💥🚑 🚨

RENEWED ISRAELI OCCUPATION AIRSTRIKES TARGET FAMILIES ON DAY 186 OF "ISRAEL'S" GENOCIDAL OPERATION IN GAZA

On the 186th day of "Israel's" special genocide operation in the Gaza Strip, the Israeli occupation forces (IOF) committed several new massacres of Palestinian families in the Gaza Strip, resulting in the deaths of no less than 153 Palestinians, mostly women and children, while another 60 others were wounded over the previous 24-hours.

As a result of the recent withdrawal of the Zionist occupation army from the Al-Shifa medical complex, civil defense crews have managed to recover the bodies of 409 Palestinians from the hospital and its surrounding neighborhoods.

Civil defense crews continue recovery efforts to retrieve the hundreds of bodies laying strewn throughout the hospital grounds, and in the streets, while others were partially buried in shallow graves according to reporting by the World Health Organization (WHO) and the local media.

Local crews urged the international community to provide specialized equipment to assist in recovery efforts, as the corpses of many Palestinians remain buried under the rubble of their homes and shelters in the surrounding neighborhoods, while local citizens continue to inquire about the whereabouts of their missing relatives who were sheltering near the hospital during the Israeli occupation's assault on the medical center.

In other news, Turkiye imposed export restrictions on goods going to the occupied Palestinian territories, including products from 54 different categories, until a ceasefire agreement can be reached and the Zionist authorities allow a "sufficient and uninterrupted flow" of humanitarian aid into the Gaza Strip, according to a statement issued by the Turkish Trade Ministry.

“Israel continues to flagrantly violate international law and ignores the international community's numerous calls for cease-fire and uninterrupted humanitarian aid,” the ministry said in a statement on Tuesday, adding that the Israeli occupation must “in full cooperation with the UN, allow the uninterrupted provision of all basic humanitarian assistance to Palestinians in the Gaza Strip, including the medical supplies and health services they need."

As the international community begins to turn to more meaningful measures to use against the Israeli occupation in order to change its behavior in Gaza, the Israeli authorities continue to prepare for a major ground offensive in the city of Rafah, in the southernmost city of the Palestinian enclave, where more than one million Palestinians have gathered in improvised tent cities under evacuation orders from their homes elsewhere in Gaza.

According to the Hebrew media, an Israeli official confirmed that the occupation has purchased 40'000 tents to prepare for the forced evacuation of civilians from Rafah before a ground offensive can be launched in the city. This is because the city of Rafah is "thought" to be where Hamas's leadership is hidden, "possibly" along with Israeli hostages.

The Zionist authorities said they plan to evacuate civilians ahead of the proposed invasion after the United States President, Joe Biden, was claimed to have put pressure on the Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, to ensure measures are taken to protect civilians. Though 40'000 tents is nowhere near enough to house over a million Palestinians camping in the city after their homes were destroyed by the IOF.

However, the United States has so far refused to even consider the imposition of trade restrictions or sanctions on "Israel," nor has it used International bodies, such as the United Nations Security Council (UNSC) to impose sanctions, or join in South Africa's suit in the International Court of Justice (ICJ) at The Hague, which accuses the Israeli occupation of violating the Genocide Conventions, in order to force the occupation to change its behavior in Gaza.

Meanwhile, the IOF renewed its intense barrage of air and missile strikes, as well as heavy artillery fire, on the Gaza Strip, targeting many civilian residences, as well as public buildings where local residents shelter inside from the occupation's bombardment and crimes.

In the northern Gaza Strip, Zionist warplanes bombed two residential homes in the Al-Zaytoun neighborhood, south of Gaza City, killing at least two civilians and wounding dozens of others, while at the same time, IOF artillery forces shelled the neighborhoods of al-Shuja'iya, al-Sabra, Tal al-Hawa, and Sheikh Ajlin, also in the city.

Local correspondants also reported the murder of one Palestinian and the injury of many others resulting from the shelling by Israeli artillery detatchments targeting local committees tasked with securing humanitarian aid in the southeast of Gaza City.

Zionist shelling also targeted the al-Tuffah neighborhood of Gaza City, in addition to the shelling of several neighborhoods in the north of the city.

Similarly, IOF fighter jets dropped munitions on a group of civilians gathered on Salah al-Din Street, southeast of Gaza City, martyring one civilian and wounding several others, while occupation aircraft also bombed a house in the northern Gaza Strip, coinciding with continuous artillery fire on a multitude of neighborhoods. The wounded were transported and treated at Al-Ahli Arab Hospital in Gaza City.

In yet another criminal attack, an IOF airstrike targeted a residential home in the city of Deir al-Balah, in central Gaza, killing one resident and wounding at least 20 others, while the occupation also raided the area of Al-Madaris street in the same area.

In similar criminal atrocities, Zionist warplanes and artillery shelling bombed a residential building in the Al-Maghazi Refugee Camp, in the central Gaza Strip, resulting in the martyredom of at least five Palestinians, while simultaneously, a Palestinian medical doctor named Shadi Abu Hasanein was killed in an Israeli airstrike on the Al-Saraya Junction in Gaza City.

At the same time, IOF artillery shelling targeted in the vicinity of a school sheltering displaced Palestinian families in Deir al-Balah, in the central Gaza Strip, killing two civilians and wounding a number of others.

Zionist forces also bombarded a residential tower in Al-Zahraa, in central Gaza, however, it remains unclear if any casualties were reported from the strike.

The atrocities continued with the occupation bombing of the Tiba Towers area, to the northwest of Khan Yunis, in the south of Gaza, after which, local paramedic and civil defense crews recovered the bodies of 10 civilians, including at least six children.

In the southern Gaza Strip, Israeli artillery detatchments shelled a residential home in the Al-Tanour neighborhood, east of the city of Rafah, resulting in the martyrdom of two civilians and wounding several others, while Zionist gunboats opened machine-gun fire with live bullets towards the coast of Rafah, and also fired at least two artillery shells onto the coast.

Meanwhile, local civil defense personnel recovered at least 84 bodies from the Khan Yunis area after the withdrawal of Israeli occupation forces from the southern Gazan city, leaving behind an alien landscape of destroyed buildings with corpses littering and lining the streets.

As a result of "Israel's" ongoing special genocide operation in the Gaza Strip, the death toll among the Palestinian population has risen in excess of 33'360 Palestinians martyred, more than 14'500 of those murdered were children, with at least 9'500 women also killed, while another 75'993 others have been wounded since the start of the current round of Zionist aggression beginning on October 7th, 2023.

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#videosource

@WorkerSolidarityNews

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spacelazarwolf · 9 months

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i know you’re not my therapist but i see some people asking you for advice so i hope this is okay, feel free to ignore it: just… the way transmascs and transmasc issues are treated by society at large is really getting to me and affecting my mental health. even trying to access “trans” resource centers or resources in general and they’re geared primarily towards transfems or they see that im not a trans woman and their tone towards me completely shifts in a negative way, transmasc issues at large being willfully ignored, i mean just about the only place i see anyone talk about them without immediately getting attacked is on tumblr and even then the conversations get shut down. I’m scared to talk about feeling alienated as a trans man with a therapist because i’m scared of them shutting me down even though thats the exact opposite of what therapists are supposed to do. it just feels like people don’t even want us to exist. my mental health is reeeally suffering because of this and i feel like i can’t talk about this to anyone. like… there has to be a way it gets better right?

it absolutely does get better. in terms of online experience, use the block button liberally. it's something i'm trying to do better about myself, just not giving people the time of day who won't engage in good faith. my block list must be a whole archive by now.

in terms of in person experience, i was really surprised by how many other trans men and trans mascs immediately opened up when i brought up the feelings of isolation i was struggling with. it's definitely something that's still taboo to talk about, but if you find those spaces where you can just sit down and talk candidly, it's a really healing experience. if you need to kind of dip your toe in first to see how they'll react, that's fine, but seriously i was shocked when i started connecting with more trans men and trans mascs in my area and there was this immediate, huge sigh of relief when i tentatively brought up those topics. i've also talked to a lot of trans women and trans femmes and nonbinary people in general irl who are very receptive as well, and often open up about the ways it affects them as well. there's more of us out here who want things to get better than tumblr dot com would have us believe.

#ask avishai

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matan4il · 6 months

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Daily update post:

An armed drone hit a school in Eilat. Seven kids had to be taken to a hospital. We still don't officially know who sent the attack drone, or how it wasn't intercepted. The options are that it was either sent from Yemen (less likely), from the ISIS terrorists in Sinai (Egypt) or from Jordan. Just a reminder: Eilat has a population of 51,000 and it has absorbed at least 60,000 of the evacuated Israelis who had survived Hamas' massacre.

In an independent terrorist attack, Palestinians fired at an Israeli car, wounding two adults (one severely and one moderately), but thankfully missing the baby who was also in the vehicle.

The Mossad (the Israeli equivalent of the CIA) helped authorities in Brazil prevent a Hezbollah terrorist attack against Jews there. In 1994, Hezbollah successfully carried out a terrorist attack against a Jewish community center in Argentina, killing 85 people and injuring over 300. Hezbollah is currently still attacking Jewish communities in Israel's north with rockets and drones.

Yesterday, for the first time in decades, Jews prayed in the ancient, 1,500 years old synagogue in Gaza (yes, older than the Arab colonization of the Land of Israel). Here's a delegation of archeologists examining the mosaic floor of the synagogue:

The mosaic includes the image of the Jewish King David, playing a lyre, with his name appearing in Hebrew letters.

The IDF has explicitly put out the message for Gazans today, that if Hamas is stopping them from evacuating, they can turn to the Israeli army for help.

Hamas' second in command in Gaza, Khalil al-Haja, told the New York Times, that the purpose of the massacre wasn't to bring prosperity to Gaza, it's to create a permanent state of war for Israel on all of its borders (meaning by facilitating a regional war, forcing other Middle Eastern elements to join the war against Israel).

HonestReporting is an NGO that was established in 2000 to combat the anti-Israel bias in many news outlets (it happened because a pic of an Israeli policeman saving a Jewish American tourist from Arabs attacking him, was published by the New York Times as the pic of an Israeli policeman attacking a Palestinian).

Now, HonestReporting has published a report on Gazan journalists, who provided materials for Reuters, AP, CNN and the New York Times, and were there for Hamas' massacre, on the border of Israel, early in the morning on Saturday (Israel's day of rest). HR is posing the question of how did these journalists know to be present there, at that time. HR is also pointing out that they entered Israel together with Hamas' terrorists, raising ethical questions about their presence and inaction at the scene of these horrors as they were happening. Following the report, HR was also sent a pic of one of these journalists been kissed on the cheek by Yahya Sinwar, the head of Hamas in Gaza.

I find it so touching when people from backgrounds hostile to Israel, still manage to look beyond that, and see us as people. This is the bridge to the peace that I personally still wanna believe we'll have in this region one day:

Israeli police is putting together a case against the Hamas terrorists who executed the massacre, and who were caught alive. So far, over 700 testimonies of survivors have been collected, as well as tens of thousands of digital files. The terrorists' interrogations will also be included. Some of these have been published. One thing that they recounted is that they were given religious permission to murder women, children and babies. They also said that the purpose of the rapes and beheadings was to terrify the Israeli public. Lastly, they admitted that the plan was to make it from southern Israel to the central region, too (where Tel Aviv and Jerusalem are).

This is Avihu Mori, he was recognized as a mental health patient, due to severe PTSD. Every time Palestinian rockets were fired into Israel, his family said he would start falling apart, and acting illogically. During the current war, it happened again, he ran away, crossed the border into Gaza and was killed there.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #israelunderattack #terrorism #anti terrorism #antisemitism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish

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lesbianfeminists · 1 year

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From heart disease to IUDs: How doctors dismiss women’s pain

Several studies support the claim that gender bias in medicine routinely leads to a denial of pain relief for female patients for a range of health conditions

One woman was told she was being “dramatic” when she pleaded for a brain scan after suffering months of headaches and pounding in her ears. It turned out she had a brain tumor. Another was ignored as she cried out in pain during a 33-hour labor. She was supposed to be getting pain medication through her epidural, but it had fallen out. Dozens of women complained of torturous pain as their vaginal walls were punctured during an egg retrieval process. They were told their pain was normal, but, in actuality, they were getting saline instead of anesthesia. These are just some of the stories of women who say their pain and suffering has been dismissed or misdiagnosed by doctors. Although these are anecdotal reports, a number of studies support the claim that women in pain often are not taken as seriously as men.

This year, the Journal of the American Heart Association reported that women who visited emergency departments with chest pain waited 29 percent longer than men to be evaluated for possible heart attacks. An analysis of 981 emergency room visits showed that women with acute abdominal pain were up to 25 percent less likely than their male counterparts to be treated with powerful opioid painkillers. Another study showed that middle-aged women with chest pain and other symptoms of heart disease were twice as likely to be diagnosed with a mental illness compared with men who had the same symptoms. “I was told I knew too much, that I was working too hard, that I was stressed out, that I was anxious,” said Ilene Ruhoy, a 53-year-old neurologist from Seattle, who had head pain and pounding in her ears. Despite having a medical degree, Ruhoy said she struggled to get doctors to order a brain scan. By the time she got it in 2015, a tennis ball-sized tumor was pushing her brain to one side. She needed surgery, but first, she rushed home, hugged her 11-year-old daughter and wrote her a letter to tell her goodbye.

Ruhoy did not die on the operating table, but her tumor had grown so large it could not be entirely removed. Now, she has several smaller tumors that require radiation treatment. She said many of her female patients have had experiences similar to hers. “They’re not validated with regards to their concerns; they’re gaslit; they’re not understood,” she said. “They feel like no one is listening to them.”

Doubts about women’s pain can affect treatment for a wide range of health issues, including heart problems, stroke, reproductive health, chronic illnesses, adolescent pain and physical pain, among other things, studies show. Research also suggests that women are more sensitive to pain than men and are more likely to express it, so their pain is often seen as an overreaction rather than a reality, said Roger Fillingim, director of the Pain Research and Intervention Center of Excellence at the University of Florida. Fillingim, who co-wrote a review article on sex differences in pain, said there are many possible explanations, including hormones, genetics and even social factors such as gender roles. Regardless, he said, “you treat the pain that the patient has, not the pain that you think the patient should have.”

Women say reproductive health complaints are commonly ignored

Women often cite pain bias around areas of reproductive health, including endometriosis, labor pain and insertion of an intrauterine device, or IUD. When Molly Hill made an appointment at a Connecticut clinic in 2017 to get an IUD, she said she was warned it would be uncomfortable, but she was not prepared for “horrific” pain. Hill, now 27 and living in San Francisco, recalled that during the procedure, she began crying in pain and shouted at the doctor to stop. “We’re almost done,” she said the doctor told her and continued the procedure. “It was full-body, electrifying, knife-stabbing pain,” she said. After it was done, she said she lay sobbing on the table in physical and emotional pain. “It felt violating, too, to have that pain that deep in your core where you feel the most vulnerable.”

Studies consistently show that women who have not experienced vaginal birth have much higher pain during IUD insertion compared with women who have given birth. A Swedish study found that among 224 women who had not given birth, 89 percent reported moderate or severe pain. One in six of the women said the pain was severe. Although numbing agents and local anesthetics are available, they are rarely used.

In some cases, women have sued physicians for ignoring their pain. Dozens of women sued Yale University claiming that during an egg harvesting procedure at its infertility clinic, they were supposed to be receiving the powerful painkiller fentanyl. But some women were getting only diluted pain medication or none at all, according to lawsuits filed in the state Superior Court in Connecticut. Later, the clinic discovered a nurse had been stealing vials of fentanyl and replacing the painkiller with saline solution. The nurse pleaded guilty last year and was sentenced for tampering with the drugs. One of the plaintiffs, Laura Czar, wrote about her experience for Elle magazine, describing it as “a horrible, gut-wrenching pain,” and told a doctor at the time, “I can feel everything you’re doing.” Despite her protests, the doctor continued. Yale said in a statement that it “deeply regrets” the women’s distress and has “reviewed its procedures and made changes to further oversight of pain control and controlled substances.”

Racial disparities in pain management

For Sharee Turpin, the pain of sickle-cell disease sometimes feels like tiny knives slicing her open. Sickle cell disease is an inherited blood disorder that can cause suffering so severe, its attacks are called “pain crises.” But when Turpin, who is Black, experiences a pain crisis, the 34-year-old does not rush to the ER in Rochester, N.Y. Instead, she combs her hair, mists some perfume and slips on her “Sunday best” in hopes that the doctors and nurses won’t peg her as a drug seeker, she said. Sometimes, Turpin gets a care team that understands her pain. Other times, she is treated as a bother. “I’ve even been told ‘shut up’ by a nurse because I was screaming too loud while I was in pain,” she said.

Abundant research shows racial bias in pain treatment. A 2016 study found half of white medical students and residents held at least one false belief about biological differences between Blacks and Whites, and were more likely to underestimate Black patients’ pain. “The management of pain is one of the largest disparities that we see between Black people and White people in the American health-care system,” said Tina Sacks, an associate professor at the University of California at Berkeley and author of “Invisible Visits: Black Middle-Class Women in the American Healthcare System.”

Labeling women “hysterical” or blaming psychological causes

Research shows men in chronic pain tend to be regarded as “stoic” while women are more likely to be considered “emotional” and “hysterical” and accused of “fabricating the pain.” Carol Klay, a 68-year-old from Tampa, had endured years of chronic pain from arthritis, degenerative disk disease and spinal stenosis. During a hospital stay last year, her doctor noted in her medical record that she was crying “hysterically.” Klay said she was crying because she was unable to sit, stand or walk without agony, and the doctor had removed morphine from her cocktail of pain medications. She wonders whether the doctor “would have called me hysterical if I was a man,” she said. Tampa General Hospital said it could not discuss specific patients, but stated: “Patient treatment plans, including medication orders to reduce pain, are prescribed by multi-disciplinary clinical teams.” Research shows women’s physical pain is also often attributed to psychological causes.

Jan Maderios, a 72-year-old Air Force veteran from Chipley, Fla., said the trauma of having pain dismissed by doctors has stayed with her for years. She saw about a dozen doctors in the early 1970s for pelvic pain. When clinicians could not identify the cause of her pain, she was referred to a psychiatrist.

“You start to doubt yourself after so many medical experts tell you there’s nothing wrong with you,” she said. After a hysterectomy in 1976, Maderios learned that fibroid tumors in her uterus had been the source of her pain. She said learning her pain was real — and physical — “made all the difference in the world.”

Why women’s pain complaints often aren’t taken seriously

During a 33-hour labor with her first child in 2011, Anushay Hossain, 42, of D.C., opted for epidural pain relief but said she still felt it all — every contraction, every cramp and every dismissal of her pain by her medical team. The doctor reassured her that she was getting the maximum dosage of pain medication.

In fact, she wasn’t getting any at all. She said her epidural had slipped out. By the time the error was caught, she was shaking uncontrollably and in need of an emergency Caesarean section, she said. “There’s a pain gap, but there’s also a credibility gap,” said Hossain, author of “The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women.” “Women are not believed about their bodies —period.”

This pain gap may stem, in part, from the fact that women have historically been excluded from medical research. It wasn’t until 2016 that the National Institutes of Health (NIH) required sex to be considered as a biological variable in most studies it funded. “We’re making progress,” said David Thomas, special adviser to the director of NIH’s Office of Research on Women’s Health. “But we do have a long way to go because there’s this whole institutional approach to doing research — pain and beyond — where it tends to be male-focused.”

Nearly 95 percent of U.S. medical school students said instruction on sex and gender differences in medicine should be included in curriculums, according to a 2015 survey. But only 43 percent said their curriculum had helped them understand those differences and only 34.5 percent said they felt prepared to manage them in a health-care setting.

“It is changing, but it’s changing very slowly,” said Janice Werbinski, immediate past president of the American Medical Women’s Association and chair of the mentorship committee of the association’s Sex and Gender Health Collaborative.

How women can advocate for better pain care

It took decades to solve the mystery of Maureen Woods’s chronic pain. Woods, 64, of Myersville, Md., started having joint pain in her teens and, over the years, told dozens of doctors her pain was “debilitating,” she said. Some told her it was all in her head. In 2017, she was diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a connective tissue disorder often causing loose joints, dislocations and chronic pain. She said women who are not being heard should keep advocating for themselves. “You have to go with your gut — something is wrong and I need to find a doctor who can figure it out,” she said. Marjorie Jenkins, dean of the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville, urged women against feeling pressured to accept an “everything is normal” non-diagnosis. “If your provider does not appear to be listening to you or believing what you’re saying, then you need a new provider,” Jenkins said. “You are the client, you are the customer and you are the owner of your health.”

Women can also take a family member, friend or other support person who can corroborate their stories, said Alyson McGregor, an emergency medicine professor at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville and author of the book “Sex Matters: How Male-Centric Medicine Endangers Women’s Health and What We Can Do About It.” Particularly in emergency departments, she said, there can be an inherent bias. “There’s this assumption that women are emotional and they’re anxious and that that’s the main issue,” she said.

#women’s health

534 notes · View notes

palms-upturned · 6 months

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Israel continues committing crimes against civilians and putting out propaganda to weakly justify their sieges on hospitals, now not only in Gaza, but the West Bank, too. They’re even committing precisely the crime they keep accusing Hamas of by using seized schools and health centers for military purposes.

Via Al Jazeera:

Israel’s defence minister claims ‘Hamas has lost control of Gaza’

Nov 13th, 18:30 GMT

Yoav Gallant says Hamas does not have the power to stop Israel’s military, saying Israeli forces have intensified operations against Hamas tunnels in Gaza.

“Hamas has lost control of Gaza. Terrorists are fleeing south. Civilians are looting Hamas bases,” he said.

Gallant said that “each day”, Israel kills more Hamas commanders and fighters, adding that Israel’s army continues to operate “in the heart of Gaza City”.

(Emphasis mine)

UNRWA says received reports Israel used school, health centres for military operations

Nov 13th, 20:50 GMT

The United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees (UNRWA) said it received reports that Israeli forces “conducted interrogations and arrests” of internally displaced Palestinians in the installations in Gaza City.

They entered one school and two health centres with tanks, UNRWA said.

“In one health centre, five people were reportedly killed. According to the reports, IDPs [internally displaced persons] were subsequently forced to leave the UNRWA installations and move south towards Wadi Gaza. Witnesses reported that Israeli forces then struck the two health centres with artillery fire,” the agency said, adding that it was verifying the reports.

“If confirmed, the military use of UNRWA facilities raises serious concerns, as such use puts civilians at serious risk of harm. Directing attacks against civilian objects is a serious violation of international law. Health centres, in particular, are also afforded special protection against attack.”

Israeli military says ‘signs indicating’ captives were held at al-Rantisi Hospital

Nov 13th, 21:00 GMT

Israeli military spokesman Daniel Hagari has said “signs indicating hostages were held” in a basement room within al-Rantisi Hospital in north Gaza had been discovered.

Hagari made the claims in a video shot by Israeli forces in the children’s hospital.

In the video, Hagari pointed to women’s clothing, what appeared to be a rope on the leg of a chair, as well as an “improvised” toilet and other infrastructure.

He also pointed to what he called a “guardian list” on the wall, where he claimed fighters signed into shifts to watch the captives. He called the items evidence that captives had been held there.

(Emphasis mine)

Israeli forces stormed West Bank hospital, interrogated medical staff: Health ministry

Nov 13th, 21:15 GMT

The Palestinian health ministry said Israeli forces left after interrogating staff at an eye hospital in Turmus Ayya, near Ramallah.

In a post on social media, the ministry condemned the raid as a blatant violation of health institutions, similar to what Israel has been doing in Gaza.

#palestine #free palestine #al jazeera #and we’re funding this. our tax dollars are funding this. american workers are building these weapons.

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nando161mando · 27 days

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Summary of the GENOCIDE IN Gaza:

-180 days of genocide.

-2,922 massacres committed by the occupation army.

-39,975 between murdered and missing.

-32,975 murdered who arrived at hospitals.

-14,500 children murdered.

-30 children died from hunger.

-9,560 women murdered.

-483 medical personnel killed.

-65 murdered from the Civil Defense.

-140 journalists murdered.

-7,000 missing, 73% of whom are children and women.

-75,577 injured.

-11,000 injured need to be transferred to other countries for treatment

-17,000 children live without their parents or one of them.

-11,000 injured with the need to travel for treatment.

-10,000 cancer patients face the risk of death.

-1,088,764 patients with infectious diseases.

-8,000 cases of viral hepatitis infection.

-60,000 pregnant women at risk.

-350,000 patients with chronic diseases without adequate control and treatment.

-310 health personnel kidnapped.

-12 journalists kidnapped.

-2 million displaced.

-100 schools and universities were completely destroyed.

-305 schools and universities partially destroyed.

-229 mosques completely destroyed.

-297 mosques partially destroyed.

-3 Churches attacked and destroyed.

-70,000 homes were completely destroyed.

-290,000 homes partially destroyed.

-70,000 tons of explosives dropped by Israel.

-32 Hospitals out of service.

-53 health centers out of service.

-159 health institutions were partially attacked.

-126 ambulances destroyed.

-200 archaeological and heritage sites destroyed.

IT IS NOT WAR, IT IS GENOCIDE.

Resumen del GENOCIDIO EN Gaza:

-180 días de genocidio.

-2.922 masacres cometidas por el ejército de ocupación.

-39.975 entre asesinados y desaparecidos.

-32.975 asesinados que llegaron a los hospitales.

-14.500 niños asesinados.

-30 niños muertos por hambre.

-9.560 mujeres asesinadas.

-483 asesinados del personal médico.

-65 asesinados de la Defensa Civil.

-140 periodistas asesinados.

-7.000 desaparecidos, el 73% de los cuales son niños y mujeres.

-75.577 heridos.

-11.000 heridos necesitan ser trasladados a otros países para recibir tratamiento

-17.000 niños viven sin sus padres o uno de ellos.

-11.000 heridos con necesidad de viajar para recibir tratamiento.

-10.000 pacientes con cáncer enfrentan el riesgo de muerte.

-1.088.764 pacientes con enfermedades infecciosas.

-8.000 casos de infección por hepatitis viral.

-60.000 mujeres embarazadas en riesgo.

-350.000 pacientes con enfermedades crónicas sin control y tratamiento adecuado.

-310 secuestrados de personal de salud.

-12 periodistas secuestrados.

-2 millones de desplazados.

-100 escuelas y universidades quedaron completamente destruidas.

-305 escuelas y universidades parcialmente destruidas.

-229 mezquitas completamente destruidas.

-297 mezquitas parcialmente destruidas.

-3 Iglesias atacadas y destruidas.

-70.000 viviendas quedaron completamente destruidas.

-290.000 viviendas parcialmente destruidas.

-70.000 toneladas de explosivos arrojados por Israel.

-32 Hospitales fuera de servicio.

-53 centros de salud fuera de servicio.

-159 instituciones de salud fueron parcialmente atacadas.

-126 ambulancias destruidas.

-200 sitios arqueológicos y patrimoniales destruidos.

NO ES GUERRA, ES GENOCIDIO.

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layce2015 · 9 months

Text

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

Wishful Thinking

Masterlist

"It just doesn't make any sense, Dean. I mean, why would Uriel tell us you remembered Hell if you didn't?" Sam asked Dean, who was downing shots like no one's business, as we were sitting at a table at a restaurant. "Maybe because he's a dick. Might have something to do with it." Dean replied, nonchalantly. "Maybe, but he's still an angel." I pointed out. "Yeah, an angel who was ready to level an entire town. Look, I don't know what --" Dean started to say when our waiter, who is way too cheerful for my taste, comes up to us.

"Radical. What else can I get you guys?" He asked and we turn to him. "Uh, I think we're good." Sam said. "Yeah?" The waiter asked. "Yeah." Sam said, trying to sound patient. "You want to try a couple of fryer bombs? Or a chipotle chili changa?" The waiter asked. "No, no, we're – we're still good." Dean tells him. "Okay, awesome." The waiter said and he walks away.

"Guys, honestly, I have no idea why Uriel told you two what he did, okay?" Dean said. "Right." Sam and I said, not really believing him. "What?" Dean asked us, annoyed. "Okay. Fine." Sam said, defensively, then I lean forward towards Dean. "Dean, look me in the eye and tell me you don't remember a thing from your time down under." I said to him, firmly. He leans forward and said. "I don't remember a thing from my time down under." But I'm not really convinced as I lean back a bit, skepticism played on my face.

"I don't remember, (y/n)!" he exclaims to me. "Look, Dean, we just want to help." said Sam. "You guys know everything I do. Okay? That's all there is." Dean said, getting angry, just as the waiter comes up to us. "Outstanding. Dessert time? Huh? Am I right?" he asked. "Dude." Dean sighs. "Listen, bros. You have got to try our ice cream extreme. It's extreme." the waiter said. "Uh, no extremities, please. Just the --" I started to say, nicely, then he talks over me. "Check? All right, awesome."

"Thanks." I said and he walks away then Dean turns to us. "All right, so, where do we go from here?" He asked. "I'm not sure. Uh, looks like it's been pretty quiet lately. No signs of demon activity, no omens or portents I can see." Sam said as he looks through his laptop. "That's good news for once." I said as Dean drinks his beer.

"Yeah, just the typical smattering of crank UFO sightings and one possible vengeful spirit. Here, check this out. Uh...Up in Concrete, Washington, eyewitness reports of a ghost that's been haunting the showers of a women's health facility." He said and Dean chokes with his beer. "The victim claims that the ghost threw her down a flight of stairs." Sam said and we noticed Dean scrambling out of his seat.

"I can see you're very interested." Sam said. "Women, showers. We got to save these people." Dean said and I give him a disapproving look. "Kidding!" He said to me before we start to head out.

"I'm not surprised the spirit world chose to make contact with me. I'm something of a...natural sensitive." Candace said to me. I was sitting at a restaurant called Lucky Chin's and was in the middle of meeting the woman who was "attacked" by a ghost in the showers. Sam and Dean were at the fitness center, checking the place out. "I can sense that about you, Candace, that whole...sensitive thing." I said, giving her a fake smile.

"So, what did you say you're calling your book?" She asked me, curiously. "Oh, well, um...Well, the working title is...Supernatural. Yeah, I've been crossing the country, gathering stories like yours. But, anyways, you were telling me about your encounter." I said. "Yes. Well..." Candace said before she let's out a sigh.

"Once I saw the apparition, that's when I started to run." she explained while I noticed a couple kissing at another table. It was a very nerdy-looking guy with, I gotta admit, a very beautiful woman. This just seemed out of place to me, that girl is way outta that guy's league, who the hell did he get her? "And you said the ghost chased you?" I asked her as I snap my attention back to Candace. "Not just that. It knew my name. It kept yelling, Mrs. Armstrong! Mrs. Armstrong! And that's when I hit the stairs and fell." She explained and I furrow my brow in confusion.

"You fell? The ghost didn't push you?" I asked her. "Oh, I don't – I don't know. I mean, I think it did. Maybe." She said, undecided. "Did you feel like it meant to hurt you, like it was violent, or..." I asked her, curiously. "It was a ghost. I'm lucky to be alive. Anyway, I was at the bottom of the stairs, and that's when it got weird." she said before she chuckles. "It helped me up." she said and I give her a confused but intrigued look

"Say again?" I asked her. "Yeah. It helped me up. And it kept saying over and over, Please, don't tell my mom." She said. "Yeah, that's weird." I said as I raise an eyebrow at this. Why would a ghost help this woman? I thought as I write down some notes.

"Well, you boys pick up anything?" I asked Dean and Sam as I meet them on the stairs of the Fitness Center, where Candace had the ordeal with the ghost. "No EMF in the shower or anywhere else. This house is clean." Dean said as he sets aside a newspaper, which I could see the headline saying Local Man Wins $168M Lottery. "Yeah. I'm not surprised. I kind of got the feeling back there that crazy pushed Mrs. Armstrong down the stairs." I said

"I got to tell you, I'm pretty disappointed." Dean said, in a disappointed tone, and Sam exhales sharply. "You wanted to save naked women." Sam said. "Damn right I wanted to save some naked women." Dean said and I left my leg up and kick Dean in the ass. "Ow!" Dean said and Sam chuckles lightly at this as three boys chase after another boy.

"Come on, guys, get him!"

"I got him! I got him!"

"Run, Forrest, run!" I shouted at the boy before Sam turns to Dean. "Sorry, Dean, but I don't think anything's going on around here." Sam said. "Yeah, I have to agree with Sam." I said just as we hear a man arguing with a police officer.

"How the hell was I supposed to get a look at it? It grabbed me from behind and threw me into a tree!" The man shouts at the officer and Dean took notice of this. "Something's going on." He said and we stand and watch.

"Yeah, okay, Gus. I understand you got shook up. Anyone would be. But don't you think it – Don't you think it had to be a bear?" The officer asked, which angered Gus. "I know a damn bear track when I see one! This thing didn't leave bear tracks! Its feet were huge!" Gus shouts.

"Now, Gus..." the officer said, exasperated, but Gus shouts over him. "It was Bigfoot, Hal – The Bigfoot!" the boys and I exchange looks at this as Hall sighs. "Gus, you're not talking sense here." Hal said. "There's a Bigfoot out there, damn it, and he's a son of a bitch!" Gus shouts and we go over to them.

"Excuse us. FBI." Sam said as he flashes his fake badge to them. "What?" Hal said, confused. "Yes, sir. We're here about the...That." Sam said as he nods at Gus. "About Bigfoot?" Hal asked. "That's right." Sam said then he turns to Gus. "Sir, can you tell me exactly where this happened?" He asked. "Yes, I can." Gus said, proudly.

"What the hell's going on in this town? First there's a ghost that's not real, and now a Bigfoot sighting?" Dean asked as we search the forest area Gus told us about. "Well, every hunter worth his salt knows Bigfoot's a hoax." Sam said. "Well, maybe somebody's pumping LSD into the town water supply." Dean suggests but then I noticed huge tracks.

"Uh, boys..." I said as I run up towards the tracks and stop, the boys follow me and stop as well. "Okay. What do you suppose made that?" Dean asked. "That, uh...is a big foot." I said, lost for words at what I was seeing. I mean, demons, vampires and ghost I understand but Bigfoot? That seems a stretch. "Okay." Sam mutters and we follow the tracks to the back of a liquor store that has been broken into.

"So, what – Bigfoot breaks into a liquor store, jonesing for some hooch?" Dean asked and I look through the shelves and found an empty shelf with the label of the drink on it. "Amaretto and Irish cream. He's a girl-drink drunk." I remarked as Dean helps himself to a bottle of a drink on the shelves, and puts it into his jacket pocket.

"Hey. Check this out." Sam calls out and we go over to see him standing in front of the magazine rack to see a specific rack missing. "He took the whole porno rack?" Dean said, shocked. "Well, I'll say it again. What the hell is going on in this town?" He said.

Later, the three of us sit down on a bench outside the store as we try to figure out just what exactly is going on. "I got nothing." Dean said. "It's got to be a joke, right? Some big-ass mother in a gorilla suit?" Sam suggested. "Or it's a Bigfoot. You know, and he's some kind of a alcoholo-porno addict. Kind of like a deep-woods Duchovny." Dean said. "We sure it ain't you and you just don't remember?" I asked Dean, teasingly. "Hey!" Dean said, a bit offended, when a girl on a bike passes us and a Busty Asian Beauties magazine falls to the ground from the box on the bicycle.

"A little young for busty Asian beauties." Dean said and we go and see the girl dropping off a box full of alcohol and porn, along with a note, at the back door of the liquor store. She starts to take off and we follow her home.

"What's this, like a Harry and the Hendersons deal?" Dean asked as I knocked on the door of the house we saw the girl go into. The door opens and the girl answers it. "Hello?" She said. "Hello! Um, could we...You know what? Are your parents home?" I asked her, sweetly. "Nope." The girl replied. "No." I said, confused and taken aback.

"No." Sam and Dean said then Dean clears his throat. "Um...Have you seen a really, really furry..." he tries to explain then the girl gets a worried look on her face. "Is he in trouble?" She asked and the boys and I exchange a look before I speak again.

"No. No, no, no. Not at all." I chuckled. "We just – We wanted to make sure he was okay." I continued and the boys nod. "Exactly." Dean said. "He's my teddy bear. I think he's sick." The girl said. "Wow. Uh...Amazing. 'Cause you know what? We...are, uh...teddy bear doctors." Dean said and this seems brighten the girl's demeanor.

"Really? Can you please take a look at him?" she asked us. "Sure." I said. "Sure. Yeah." Sam and Dean said and the girl let's us in her house.

We follow her inside the house then up the stairs. "He's in my bedroom. He's pretty grumpy." She said then she goes to knock on the door. "Teddy? There's some nice doctors here to see you." She said and she opens the door to reveal a real, big and drunk teddy that is watching television. "Close the friggin' door!" The bear shouts, angrily, and the girl closes the door. "See what I mean?" She asked and the boys and I share a bewildered, shocked and confused look at each other.

"All I ever wanted was a teddy which was big, real, and talked. But now he's sad all the time – not ouch sad, but ouch-in-the-head sad – says weird stuff, and smells like the bus." The girl explains and she sounded really sad and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"Okay, um...I'm sorry, sweetie, what's your name?" I asked as I kneel down to her level. "Audrey!" She said. "Audrey. How exactly did your teddy become real?" I asked her. "I wished for it." She replied. "You wished for it?" Sam asked her. "At the wishing well." Audrey said and Dean opens the bedroom door.

Inside, Teddy was watching the news on the TV. "Look at this." Teddy said before he chuckles. "You believe this crap?" He asked as I stand up and Sam and I walk into the room. "Not really." Dean said, still in disbelief at a tall talking teddy bear. "It is a terrible world." Teddy said then he shouts. "Why am I here?!"

"For tea parties!" Audrey shouts at him. "Tea parties? Is that all there is?" Teddy asked, upset, as we hear guns firing on the TV. We step out of the room then turn to Audrey. "Audrey, give us a second, okay?" I said to her and she nods then the boys and I walk out into the hallway.

"Okay. Are we...Should we...Uh, are we gonna kill this teddy bear?" I asked them, in a quiet voice. "How? Do we shoot it, burn it?" Dean asked us, in the same tone. "I don't know. Both?" Sam said, shrugging. "How do we even know that's gonna work? I don't want some giant, flaming, pissed-off teddy on our hands." I whisper-yelled. "Yeah. Besides, I get the feeling that the bear isn't really the, you know, core problem here." Sam said then we go back over to Audrey.

"Audrey. Where are your parents?" I asked her. "My mom wished they were in Bali, so I think they're in Bali." she replied. "Okay, well...I'm really sorry to have to break this to you, but...your bear is sick. Yeah, he's – he's got..." I said trying to think of something but luckily Dean saves my ass.

"Lollipop disease." he said.

"Lollipop disease." I said, nodding. "It's not uncommon for a bear his size. But, see, it's – it’s really contagious." Dean said. "Yeah, so, is there – is there someone, maybe a grown-up, that you can stay with while we treat him?" Sam asked her. "Mrs. Hurley lives down the street." She said. "Perfect." Dean said. "Good, yeah, good. Uh, we'd like you to stay there for a few days, okay?" I said to her. "Okay." She said. "Oh, and, Audrey? Where is this wishing well?" Dean asked her.

Minutes later, we see a boy throws a coin into the fountain and leaves just as we come up on it. "Think it works?" Dean asked us. "Got a better explanation for teddy back there?" I asked him. "Well, there's one way to find out." Dean said as he pulls out a coin.

"What are you gonna wish for?" Sam asked him. "Shh!" Dean said and he throws a coin. "Not supposed to tell." he said and the coin lands in the fountain and not a second later, a guy comes up, holding a bag.

"Somebody order a footlong Italian with jalapeño?" he asked. "That'd be me." Dean said, smiling, as he raises his hand.

After that, we sit at a table, in the Chinese restaurant I was at with Candace, while Dean eats his sandwich. "I think it works, guys. That was pretty specific." He said. "The teddy bear, the sandwich..." Sam lists off. "Mm. I'm guessing this." Dean said as he shows the newspaper article about the lottery winner. "I'm guessing that." I said as I point out the couple at the next table, which was the same one from earlier.

Dean looks over and seems shocked. "Well, that definitely goes on the list." He said as he turns back to us. "What are we supposed to do, huh? Stop people's wishes from coming true? I mean, it sounds like kind of a douche-y thing to do." He said. "Yeah, maybe. But come on, man. When has something like this ever come without a price tag? And usually a deadly one." Sam said. "I don't know. It's a damn good sandwich." Dean said as he takes another bite of his sandwich then noticed mine and Sam's disapproving look.

"All right. Fine. We'll put a hold on the wishing till we figure out what's going on." Dean said just as a waiter comes up to us. "Uh, gentlemen, lady. I'm sorry. We don't allow people to eat outside food here." He said and Dean turns to him.

"Well, I am certainly not gonna eat the inside food here. Health department. You, my friend, have a rat infestation. We're gonna have to shut this place down under emergency hazard code 56C." Dean said as he stands up and holds up a badge. "Rats?!" The waiter exclaimed, confused.

Later, we were able to drain the fountain and I sweep up the coins. "Typical fountain, plaster Buddha. Nothing I can see." I said to the boys. "Yes, nothing. We keep a clean place here." The waiter said, annoyed, then Sam turns to him. "Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave during the preliminary investigation, okay? Thank you." He said and the waiter leaves.

Then we all look at the fountain until Dean turns to me and Sam. "Oh, come on. Aren't you two a little bit tempted?" he asked and he flips Sam a coin then flips me a coin. "No." Sam said as he hands the coin back to Dean. "Same but thanks for the coin." I said as I pocket and Dean looks at me as if to say I can't believe you did that and I stick my tongue out at him. "Besides...it wouldn't be real. I wouldn't trust it." I said. "Agreed." Sam said. "I don't know. That bear seemed pretty real." Dean said and Sam and I chuckle.

"Come on, if you could wish yourself back, you know, before it all started...Think about it. You'd be some big yuppie lawyer with a nice car and a white picket fence." Dean said to Sam, who shakes his head. "Not what I'd wish for." He said. "Seriously?" Dean and I said, in unison. "It's too late to go back to our old lives, guys. I'm not that guy anymore." Sam said.

"All right, well, what, then? Hmm? What would Sammy wish for?" Dean asked and Sam glares at the fountain. "Lilith's head on a plate. Bloody." He growls. "Okay." Dean said and I turn my head away. Honestly, I don't blame Sam...I want Lilith dead too. What she did to Dean still haunts me even though now he's standing right here next to me.

Suddenly, I noticed something at the bottom of the fountain. "What is that?" I asked as I point at it. It was the size of a coin but it has some weird markings on it. The boys turn their heads and see where I was pointing.

"Some kind of old coin. I don't recognize the markings." Sam said as Dean tries to pick it up, but couldn't. "Damn." Dean said as he tries to pull again. "Lift with your legs." I said as Dean continues to pull on it. "Is that little mother welded on there? Huh." he asked.

Minutes later, we come back to the restaurant with a hammer and a crowbar. "Hey, hey, hey, what is this?! You are gonna break my fountain!" the waiter exclaims at us. "Sir, I don't want to slap you with a 44/16, but I will." Sam threatens then the waiter leaves us alone. "All right, thanks." He said and we head to the fountain.

"Let me see that. I got an idea." Dean said and I hand him the hammer. He then tries to budge the coin from the fountain, but breaks the hammer. "Damn!" Dean shouts. "Coin's magical." I remarked. "Boy, I'd say. I think it's hoodoo that's protecting the well. I don't think we can destroy this." Dean said then Sam kneels down with a pen and paper and traces the coin and gives the paper to me.

"All right, here. You and Dean got to look into this." he said and he turns away after I take the paper from him. "Where you going?" Dean asked him. "Something just occurred to me." Sam said and he walks away while Dean and I share a look.

Later, Dean and I get back to the hotel when a boy, the one we saw getting chased by the bullies earlier, was now chasing after the same kids. "You better run!" he shouts after the kids then he stops and turns around to us. "You two got a problem?" He asked Dean, confrontational. "What? No." Dean said and I look at the kid. "Easy there, Tiger." I tell the kid then Dean's body jerks a bit and he puts a hand to his stomach.

"Dean?" I said, worried, and I noticed he was trying to hold back something in his mouth. "Oh no." I muttered and I grab his arm and we run into the hotel room.

*3rd Person POV*

After finding out that a teenage boy wished himself invisible so he could stare at naked women and threatened the boy, Sam comes into the hotel room and hears Dean throwing up in the bathroom. "Dean? You all right?" Sam asked and (y/n) walks out of the bathroom, a hand-towl in hand, and heads to the little kitchen area.

"The wishes turn bad, Sam. The wishes turn very bad." she informs as she wets the rag again. "The sandwich, huh?" he asked. "Yep." She said and she heads back to the bathroom and hands the towel to Dean. "Here, honey. Wipe your face." She said and she turns to Sam.

"The coin was Babylonian. It's cursed. We found some fragments of a legend." She said and, at that moment, Dean gags and pukes in the toilet again. Sam winces at this and (y/n) looks back over at Dean. "I'm good." He croaks as he stays leaned over the toilet and (y/n) kneels down and rubs his back then turns her head to Sam.

"The serpent is Tiamat, which is the Babylonian god of primordial chaos. Dean and I guess their priests were working some serious black magic." She said. "They made the coin?" Sam asked. "Yeah, to sow the seeds of chaos. Whoever tosses a coin in the wishing well, makes a wish, it turns on the well. Then it starts granting wishes to all comers." Dean said as he starts to stand up and wipe his face with the towel (y/n) brought. (Y/n) stands up as well.

"But the wishes get twisted. You ask for a talking teddy..." Sam said and (y/n) nods. "You get a bipolar nut job." she said as they go sit on one of the beds. "And you get E. coli." Sam said, nodding towards Dean who now is standing up. "Mm. This thing has turned more than one town upside down over the centuries. It's even wiped a few off the map. I mean, one person gets their wish, it's trouble, but everybody gets their wish..." Dean explains. "It's chaos." Sam finishes his sentence. "Mm-hmm." Dean and (y/n) said.

"Any way to stop it?" Sam asked them. "Yeah. One way. We got to find the first wisher. Whoever dropped the coin in and made the first wish, they're the only ones who can pull it back out and reverse the wishes." (Y/n) explained, still rubbing Dean's back as he still looked a little unwell. "So for now, we've got a couple of nutso dreams come true, but once the word gets out about the well, things are just gonna get crazier and crazier." Dean said and Sam looks between them.

*(y/n)'s POV*

Dean was asleep, tossing and turning as he usually does, while I was awake doing some research and Sam was getting us some food. "Dean, wake up!" I shout and he wakes up, sitting up very quickly. "What? I'm up. What?" Dean asked and I eyed him. "Sleep well?" I asked him. "Yeah." He said then he drinks from a whiskey bottle on the floor next to the bed. "Tan, rested, and ready." He said and I sighed and slam my hands down on the table.

"Dean, come on, honey. You think I can't see it?" I asked him, angrily. "See what?" He asked as he turns to me. "The nightmares, the drinking. I'm with you 24/7. I know something's going on. And Sam knows something's going on too!" I said. "(Y/n), please." Dean pleads.

"Uriel wasn't lying, but you are. You remember Hell, don't you?" I asked as I stand up and walk towards him. "What do you want from me, huh? What?" Dean asked me, angry, as he spreads his arms out to the sides. "The truth, Dean. I mean, I'm your girlfriend. I love you more than anything. I, I just wish you'd talk to me." I said, desperately. "Careful what you wish for." he said, with sarcasm, and I roll my eyes. "Cute." I sneered.

"Seriously, Dean, we used to talk all the time. But...ever since you came back..." I started to say but Dean talks over me. "Come on, can we stow the couples therapy, huh? We're on a job. I want to work. What do you got?" He said and I stare at him, then I cross my arms across my chest. "Dean..." I plead but he shakes his head. "Please?" He asked me and that's when Sam walks in with our food, then he looks between us.

"I'm interrupting something, aren't I?" He asked and I sighed. "No, Sam. You're good." I said then I turn to Dean. "Consider the conversation tabled, but not over." I said to him and he sighs, annoyed, while Sam sets the food down and we begin to grab our respective orders.

"So...what were you able to gather, (y/n)?" Sam asked me while Dean turn to the paper after a few minutes of silence. "We got teddy bear, uh, lottery guy, invisible pervert guy. They all must have wished sometime in the last two weeks. But who wished first, and how are we supposed to know who else wished for what when?" I asked Sam then Dean holds up the paper he has.

"Well, it helps when they announce it in the paper. Goes back a month." He said and he sets the paper down and a picture of the couple I've been seeing around with an announcement under the picture. "Wesley Mondale and Ms. Hope Lynn Casey have announced their surprise engagement." Sam reads. "Ah, true love." Dean said, sarcastically, and I chuckle. "Best lead we got." I said.

"Wes! You didn't tell me that you called the florists for the wedding." Hope said as she leads us into hers and Wes' house. "Huh?" Wes said, confused, as he looks up at us. "You're the best! Mmm! Ah!" Hope said as she hugs him and kisses him. "I'm gonna go get my folders." She said as she walks away.

"Uh, o-- Okay." Wes said then he looks up at us. "Wesley, how's it going?" Dean asked him. "It's Wes...ss." he said as he starts to stand up but noticed our gun holsters then he sits back down. "Aren't you the guys from the health department?" He asked us. "Yeah. And florists on the side." Sam said. "Plus FBI." I added. "And on Thursdays, we're teddy bear doctors." Dean said.

"Huh?" Wes said. "Doesn't matter who we are. What matters is what we know." Dean said as I look around the room and noticed some coins on a table. "So, coin collector, huh, Wes?" I asked him. "Oh. Yeah. My...grandfather gave them to me." He said. "Did you happen to lose one of those coins lately? And by lose, I mean drop into a wishing well at Lucky Chin's and make a wish on it?" Dean asked him. "No, I – I don't know what you're, uh, talking about." Wes said, nervously, then Hope comes back with lots of papers and folders.

"Okay, now. I have a lot of ideas, but, you know, we don't have all the money in the world. Wes is between jobs right now. Means more time for me. You know, I'm thinking a Japanese-y ikebana kind of thing." She said, happily, as Wes gets up from his chair. "Yes. I can see it." Dean said. "Yeah. So, Hope, uh, tell us how you two lovebirds met." Sam said to her and she smiles, brightly.

"Oh, best day of my life." She said. "I bet." Dean said, with a hint of sarcasm. "Yeah! It's the funniest thing. We both grew up here, but I never really knew who he was. Not by name anyway. Until one day last month, it was like I just.." she stops then sighs as she smiles, lovingly, at Wes. "I just saw him for the first time. He was just...glowing. Oh, just glowing." She said. "Uh, babe, can you – can you get us some coffee?" Wes asked her. "Yes. Yeah." She said and she kisses Wes over and over. "Oh. Okay. Okay. Mm-Hmm. Okay. Oh, okay. Oh. Mm-mmm, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay." He said in between the kisses. "Yeah." She said and she walks into the kitchen.

"Wes, we know. So tell us the truth." I tell him and he looks between us then sighs. "My – my grandfather found the coin in north Africa, you know, World War II. And, uh, he brought it back. He, um, he said it was a real wish-granting coin, but that nobody should ever use it. Um...It was all I had, and when he died, I thought, Well, you know what? Why not give the coin a shot?" He explained as he paces across the room. "Yeah, well, now you're gonna wish it back." Sam tells him.

"Oh. Oh. Ha ha, no, I'm not." Wes chuckles. "If you don't stop it, something bad's gonna happen." Dean tells him. "Something bad. Like us." I tell him in a low tone and Wes looks at me, afraid. "We really wish you'd come with us." Dean said.

Minutes later, Dean was driving, beside him is Sam and Wes and I were in the back seat. "I don't get it. So, my wish came true. Why does that have to be a bad thing?" Wes asked us. "Because the wishes go south, Wes. Your town is going insane." Sam explained. "Come on. You're gonna sit there and tell me that your relationship with Hope is functional, that it's what you wished for?" Dean asked him.

"I wished she would love me more than anything." Wes said. "Yeah, and, uh, how is that going? That seem healthy to you?" I asked him. "Well, it's a hell of a lot better than when she didn't know I was alive." Wes said, annoyed. "You're not supposed to get what you want, man, not like this. Nobody is. That's what the coin does. It takes your heart's desires and it twists it back on you. You hear of the whole, uh, be careful what you wish for?" Dean said.

At that moment, it felt like we hit and ran over something. "Did we just hit something?" I asked the boys. "I didn't see anything." Dean said. "Me either." Sam said. "Careful what you wish for." Wes said, mockingly, then he goes to speak in his normal voice. "You know who says that? Good-looking jerks like you guys, the ones who've got it so easy because you happen to be handsome." Wes said then he looks over at me. "Or pretty."

"Easy?" Sam, Dean and I said. "Yeah. Women – women look at you, right? They notice you. I mean, you got this pretty lady hanging around you." Wes said. "Believe us, we do not have it easy." Sam said. "We are miserable. We never get what we want. In fact, we have to fight tooth and nail just to keep whatever it is we got." Dean said. "But you know what? Maybe that's the whole point, Wes. People are people 'cause they're miserable bastards, 'cause they never get what they really want." I said to him.

"Right, yeah, you get what you want, you get crazy." Sam said. "Take a look at Michael Jackson, hmm? Or Hasselhoff." Dean said. "You know what? Hope loves me now – completely. And it's awesome. Besides, look around. Where's all this, uh, insanity you guys were talking about?" Wes asked, not taking us seriously.

Then we come up to a parking lot and see the bullied boy go up to a car, which had some of the bullies inside of it, and began to lift it. Dean stops the car as we watch this. "Well, that should cover it." Dean said as the boy tips the vehicle over. "Kneel before Todd! Kneel before Todd!" He shouts, maniacally.

*3rd Person POV*

Todd is rocking the vehicle with the boys still inside while Dean gets out of the Impala. "Fine! I'll handle Todd. You two get Wes to Lucky Chin's. Go!" Dean shouts. "Right." Sam said and he drives away as Dean confronts Todd. "Hey, kid! Can I talk to you for a second?" Dean asked him. "Get out of my way!" Todd yells and Dean raises his hands up. "Okay. Hey, I can dig it, Todd. It – it's Todd, right? Look, I-I know the score. Okay? They're – they're bullying you." He said.

"Every day. Every day! You do not know what it's like!" Todd yells. "No, no, I don't. But, you know, you're you and I'm me, so—" Dean said before he chuckles a bit. "Couldn't stop them. I couldn't do anything. Then Audrey Elmer told me the wishing well worked." Todd said. "Okay, okay. Look – look, I get it. They're – they're mean little jerks, huh? But they're not superhuman like you. You see, with great power comes great respon..." Dean started to say but then Todd punches Dean and throws him into some garbage cans and trash bags.

Meanwhile, Sam parks in front of the Lucky Chin's and he, (y/n) and Wes get out. "That – that – that kid turned over that car like – like it was nothing." Wes said, shocked. "You should have seen the teddy bear." (Y/n) said to him. "Now, come on. Fun's over. Time to pull the coin." Sam said but Wes doesn't budge.

"Wes!" Sam and (y/n) said. "Well, why can't we just get what we want?!" Wes asked, angrily. "Because that's life, Wes." Sam said then, suddenly, a lightning bolt strikes Sam and (y/n) and they fall over dead.

Wes jumps at this then he heads into the restaurant, where he sees Hope standing in front of the well. "Hope?" He said, shocked, and she turns to him. "I had to do it, didn't I? They were gonna make you wish away our love." She said.

Back at the parking lot, Dean gets up from the garbage. "Hey, kid! I didn't want to have to do this." he said and he punches Todd, who doesn’t move. "Ohh!" Dean said then Todd puts a hand around Dean’s throat and starts to choke him.

"You wished a man and a woman dead?" Wes asked, horrified. "I love you more than anything." Hope said. "Stop saying that. Stop it!" Wes shouts as he walks up to her and places his hands on her shoulders. "But I do. More than anything. More than me. More than life. Oh, Wes. Don't hate me." Hope said, her voice breaking.

Wes looks her over for a few moments then goes to hug her, he realizes what he must do. "It'll be okay. I'll make it okay. It's gonna be okay." He mutters to her and he removes the coin from the fountain, reversing all the wishes. Todd isn't strong anymore and lets Dean go while Sam and (y/n) wake up.

Todd looks upset now that his powers weren't working but Dean looks at him. "Okay. Follow my lead and you won't have a problem. Come on." he said then Dean throws himself up against another vehicle in front of for bullies. "Okay, man, no more! No more, okay?" Dean said, pretending to be scared of Todd. Then he turns to the kids. "I wouldn't mess with this kid any more if I were you." He said and he walks away.

"Hope." Wes said as he pulls away from Hope, who looks at him as if she doesn't recognize Wes. "Do I know you?" She asked him. He stands there and shakes his head then she leaves. A moment later, a dejected Wes walks outside of the restaurant and gives the coin to Sam then leaves. "Poor guy...kinda feel bad for him." (Y/n) said, sympathetically, and Sam nods a bit.

*(y/n)'s POV*

I was reading the local newspaper which had the headline saying: Winning Lottery Ticket A Fake, when I see Audrey walking past, followed by her sunburned parents. She was now carrying a normal-sized teddy with a hole in his head and a sticking plaster on it. She smiles and waves at me and I wave back at her as Sam comes up to me and Dean.

"Well, uh, coin's melted down. It shouldn't cause any more problems." He said. "Audrey's parents are back from Bali." I said. "Looks like all the wishes are gone. And so are we." Dean said and we began to leave. "Hang on a second." Dean said and Sam and I stop and turn to Dean. "What?" We asked him.

"You guys were right." He said. "About what?" I asked him. "I shouldn't have lied to you two. I do remember everything that happened to me in the Pit. Everything." Dean said and my eyes widen at this. "So tell us about it." Sam said.

"No." Dean said, firmly, and Sam and I give him confused looks. "Uh..." Sam mutters. "What?" I asked. "I won't lie anymore. But I'm not gonna talk about it." Dean replied. "Dean, look, you can't just shoulder this thing alone. You got to let us help." I said as I gesture between me and Sam.

"How? Do you really think that a little heart-to-heart, some sharing and caring, is gonna change anything? Hmm? Somehow...heal me? I'm not talking about a bad day here." Dean said. "We know that." Sam said. "It could help with the nightmares you're having, Dean." I said and Dean shakes his head at me.

"The things that I saw...there aren't words. There is no forgetting. There's no making it better. Because it is right here..." he said and he taps his head. "...forever. You two wouldn't understand. And I could never make you two understand. So I am sorry."

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

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eretzyisrael · 4 months

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by Lenny Ben-David

The New York Times (December 21, 2023) claimed Israel’s air force used U.S.-provided 2,000-pound bombs in Gaza, specifically a model that “is one of the most destructive munitions in Western military arsenals.” But the Times based its analysis on the wrong bomb, a Mark-84, which explodes on impact with little penetration properties.

The Washington Post (December 22, 2023), with its satellite and visual analysis, claimed that “the evidence presented by the Israeli government falls short of showing that Hamas had been using the [Shifa] hospital as a command-and-control center.”

CNN, following the New York Times, claimed that Israel’s 2,000-pound bombs were responsible for the high casualty rate among Gazans. But it appears that CNN was also relying on data from general-use MK-84 bombs and not earth-penetrating bunker busters that explode underground.

What is clear in one CNN map is that the bunker-buster bombs did not damage nearby schools or injure children, but they were deployed to destroy Hamas tunnels, which also explains why the craters were in a linear pattern as if the Israeli pilots were bombing a long stretch of tunnel.

Even suggesting that the IDF sought to harm Gazan school children is a blood libel. But genuinely puzzling is why CNN had a very tiny caption that admits Israel used bunker-busting bombs that avoid explosive damage on the surface.

All Gazan casualty reports emanate from the Hamas-run Ministry of Health, which has a determined desire and motive to inflate the number of civilian dead, especially women and children. The number of Hamas’ dead combatants is never published.

Hamas’ inflated numbers have become gospel truth, repeated in awe and fury on campuses, television, social media, and in Congress and presidential press conferences. The New York Times, Washington Post, and CNN are co-conspirators in the scam. The consequences of the fraud are Members of Congress calling to cut military aid to Israel, encouraged by Israel detractors.

The New York Times (December 21, 2023) claimed Israel’s air force used U.S.-provided 2,000-pound bombs, specifically a model that “is one of the most destructive munitions in Western military arsenals. When a 2,000-pound bomb detonates,” the Times wrote, it unleashes a blast wave and metal fragments thousands of feet in every direction.” Using “artificial intelligence,” The Times “measured the…craters to find ones that spanned roughly 40 feet across or more, which experts say are typically formed only by 2,000-pound bombs.”1

But, the Times based its analysis on the wrong bomb, a Mark-84, which explodes on impact with little penetration properties. The Times failed to report on a more credible bomb, the BLU-109 “bunker buster bomb,” that penetrates many meters below the surface before it explodes, making it a very effective weapon to destroy deep Hamas tunnels. The craters were the telltale sign of underground voids, such as tunnels, collapsing. According to the Wall Street Journal, “The United States has not previously disclosed the total number of weapons it sent to Israel nor the transfer of 100 BLU-109, 2,000-pound bunker buster bombs.”2

One U.S. intelligence officer (retired) told the author, “The crater in the (Times’) image is ridiculously clean for there to have been a target on top of it. The crater is also symmetrical, which would not be the case if the bomb had glided in.”

If the civilian structures and hospital buildings in Gaza were connected to or located above Hamas tunnels, wouldn’t they be legitimate targets for Israel? Comes the Washington Post (December 22, 2023), with its satellite and visual analysis to show that “the evidence presented by the Israeli government falls short of showing that Hamas had been using the [Shifa] hospital as a command-and-control center.” Expressly, the Post declared, “The rooms connected to the tunnel network discovered by IDF troops showed no immediate evidence of military use by Hamas, and there is no evidence that the tunnels could be accessed from inside hospital wards.” A video of two hostages dragged into Shifa’s entrance was explained away by the Post as circumstantial evidence – “It was not clear if the hostages were taken to the hospital for medical treatment or other purposes.”3

#media attack #new york times #washington post #cnn #media bias #israel #hamas #gaza #bunker buster bombs #hamas tunnels

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lokisprettygirl · 1 year

Text

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 31 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 32

Summary: Loki hated being Odin's son but he might just be not.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Mention of torture and psychological trauma, violence, guns, discussion of mental health, Smutty smut, degradation, unprotected sex, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

As you awakened your vision seemed blurry. You tried to adjust to your surroundings because your mind felt hazy and then suddenly it came rushing back to you, you were going home with Loki and the car had broke down, he asked you to text Steve and Thor, then he stepped out and you remembered him being shot, your eyes filled with grief at the memory.

What if he was dead? What would you do without him? You looked around and the place reminded you of that den Odin had made at the center, it looked eerily similar. You tried to stand up but your hands were tied together and so were your legs, you tried to scream too but there was a duct tape over your mouth. They had you lying on top of a slab made of rocks.

Looking down you noticed how your clothes were drenched in blood, were you hurt? You couldn't really tell, you didn't feel any pain either, not in the physical sense atleast, you just wanted Loki to be okay and alive, you just wanted to hold him one more time, you wanted to kiss him and you wanted to love him. He can't just be taken away after everything you both have been through, especially not by the hands of those same monsters who had ruined him so badly that he was afraid to even feel love.

"You know whose blood is on your body?" You heard Odin's voice from behind you and froze, you remembered seeing him before you fainted. He circled around you and you wanted to scream out of fear, he laughed as he noticed your shivering form. You winced as he ripped the duct tape off your mouth harshly.

"It belongs to that impotent slave of mine. It's filthy and illegitimate just like his existence" your eyes welled up as he said that. How could he hate his own son? That too someone like Loki, he was the kind of man who would have done anything for his loved ones, he would have sacrificed himself for them if they had given him the love that he truly deserved.

"You're all fucking evil and deserves to rot in hell" you mumbled, anger laced every word you spoke. You heard James, Clint and Odin chuckling.

"Where's loki?" Your voice choked on your tears as you questioned, you were worried sick about him, your heart refused to stay still, you just wanted to see him.

"You know I really wanted to bring him back to Asgard, he was a good slave, though incompetent at times, but then he betrayed me and how. I would never forgive him for that" Odin mumbled nonchalantly.

"He's your son, how could you do this to him?" You weeped as you questioned, your daddy didn't love you but he hated your mommy more and he never hurt you like this, you couldn't understand how Odin was capable of abusing his own son in such a cruel manner.

"My son? Oh no no no…he's not my son, he was the curse, he was the reason why I was banished from my kingdom, it was because of him I ended up here" your eyes widened in shock as he said that. What did he mean?

"What do you mean?" You asked him but he laughed again. He gestured to his men and they dragged Loki in front of you, he was bleeding from the wound on his shoulder and he was unconscious, you feared that he wasn't even alive anymore but then you saw his chest heaving slowly and it made you cry even harder, he was in pain and you couldn't do anything to comfort him.

"Look at him so weak and easy to break, Thor wouldn't even flinch if a bullet was to pierce his heart even, but then he's my own son unlike this swine" Odin menacingly stepped towards Loki and it made you scared so you started to scream.

He turned Loki on his front to step on the gunshot wound and the sheer pain brought him back to consciousness, he seemed confused for a moment before everything came running to him. He seemed paler than usual, he had lost a lot of blood and you feared he wouldn't make it. He turned his head to look at you and his eyes welled up. He was supposed to keep you safe but he failed again.

"Wake up princess, it's time to die" Odin kicked him in the stomach and you saw Loki coughing out blood.

"Stoppp pleasee.. stoppp just stop ..pleasee you can do whatever you want to me ..just dont hurt him pleasssee" you cried and screamed your words out, but your beggings only managed to make them all laugh.

"A woman is going to protect you now huh? If Laufey could see how low his son had fallen, he'd sacrifice you again" Loki looked at him shocked as Odin said that. All those years Frigga told him that he wasn't his father's son but he never really believed it, Frigga and Odin were all he knew for as long as he could remember, he always thought Frigga said it to appease him whenever he felt evil just like Odin.

"Laufey?" He whispered and Odin laughed in response before he spoke again.

"Before you die and are sent to hel ,let me reveal something, you never wondered why I treated you so poorly? It was because you never were my own blood Loki, you belonged to my sworn enemy. You are laufey's son" Odin raised his voice

"Laufey's son" he mumbled to himself and Odin smiled. He squatted down and gripped Loki's hair then he pulled on it as harshly as he could.

Loki knew about the story, the crazy story that Odin had made to justify all this, he always said that the King of Jotunheim Laufey had joined hands with the Norse goddess of witchcraft Freya and she cursed Odin to banish him to midgard. He couldn't go back until or unless he'd fulfill the nine human sacrifices, then only the gates of nine realms will reopen and he'd be taken back to Asgard.

What he didn't know was that in order to put the curse the goddess needed a sacrifice from Laufey himself, she needed his most valued possession, he wanted to get rid of Odin so desperately that he chose to sacrifice his own son. Loki.

"You were just a pawn Loki, for him and for me as well, you were born to cause suffering can't you see? I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you"

Odin spat at him, you just wanted to get out of the binds and crawl to him, you just wanted to hold him and take him back home but it wasn't possible, you didn't think you both would survive or live to see the next day.

"Lolooo" you mumbled as you whimpered so he looked at you, he didn't care whose son he was, it didn't matter anymore, nothing mattered except you. He tried to get up but his puppets came forward and they started to beat him again, he was getting brutally hurt but he didn't make a sound. However your screams did echo through the den.

"Please stoopp please stop..pleaseee let him go" you kept begging them and James stormed towards you to hurt you.

"Master can we fuck her before she's killed, I want a taste" They both sneered in your direction, their lustful eyes made your skin crawl but you knew you'd allow them to do anything as long as they weren't hurting him

"You both absolutely deserve the reward my children but I'll take her first, it's been a loooongggg time since I have fornicated"

You looked at him shocked, he was evil in his pure form, you knew that with certainty but you were still taken aback as he made his intentions clear.

Loki's fists clenched and he watched Odin take his shirt off, he watched the bastard prey towards you and he knew if he wasn't going to get up and fight for you today then everything that he had ever done in his life for you would end up meaning nothing.

Before Odin could put his fingers on you he was grabbed and turned around furiously then he was punched right in the face, Loki grabbed the man by his hair and threw him around like a rag doll. You always knew that he was strong, not just mentally but physically too. You had never seen another man beat him in fights, he was always the stronger one but you couldn't even comprehend how he had such a strength after being shot and after losing all that blood. Unfortunately he was still outnumbered, Odin called for help so his puppets came forward and attacked Loki again.

They were going to shoot him again because James took the gun out and cocked at his head but before he could pull the trigger and destroy your whole world in a second you heard Thor's voice. He was there. He had found you two. Thank God he was there.

"If you need her alive, you're going to back off my brother" Thor yelled, he had Natasha by his side with his own gun pointed at her temples.

"He's not your brother " Odin yelled at him and for a second you watched Thor's eyes flickering with an emotion you couldn't describe but then he was enraged again.

"He's my brother you bastard..now back off or this whore of yours is going to die"

Odin chuckled as Thor threatened him.

"I cannot believe that you're my own, can't even make an excuse for you"

Natasha saw that Thor was distracted so she elbowed him in the stomach and the gun slipped from his hand, she picked it up immediately and pointed it towards Thor. That's not what you all needed, you were all going to die here and you feared nobody would be able to find what even happened to all of you.

"That's my girl, still as feisty as I remember" Odin walked towards her and hugged her, she smiled as she hugged him back but Odin took the gun from her and then he slapped her hard, it didn't shock you though. He was a psychopath that didn't give a shit about anyone.

"Worthless whore, got caught by that moron, you told him about the place didn't you?" she started to cry as he questioned her.

"None of you possess the quality to live in Asgard, none of you" Clint got offended by Odin's words and Loki used the opportunity to twist the gun away from his own head, you heard the gunshot roaring, your heart almost leaped out of your mouth but you had nothing to worry about, the angle of the gun accidentally shot the other minion James.

The havoc was enough for Thor to charge at Odin and Loki had managed to disarm Clint. You saw them hurting those men the way they had hurt them all these years, you didn't even want justice anymore, you all should have gotten it all those years ago but you didn't. Loki and Thor took turns with Odin and Clint, all that anger and frustration, years worth of pain that they have suffered was enough to keep them going.

You flinched as you heard another bullet firing, Loki had managed to shoot Clint while Thor tackled Odin all by himself, Loki walked towards you to get you out of the binds, he untied your hands and legs as quickly as he could.

"Lokii you're bleeding so much" you cried so he cupped your cheeks and made you look at him.

"Hold on for me baby okay, just hold on" he mumbled softly, he was asking you to hold on even though it was his life in danger here..

"Enoughhhh...just stoppp ..enoughhh" you heard Natasha's voice amidst all the commotion and it made you look in her direction, nobody was watching her and she had gotten the chance to grab the gun that Odin had dropped between the fight. Odin smiled and he was about to walk towards her but she shot him, right in the chest, right where the heart should be. Too bad he didn't have any.

She fell down on her knees as Odin collapsed, his lifeless body made you happier than anything else could have at the moment.

"Why did you do that?" Loki asked her, he was confused by her actions.

"I'm done..I'm done with all of you..I just want to go back to my son, it's done. It's over okayyyy? Okayyy?" She screamed her words as she cried profusely.

"I just want to move onn please"

A few minutes later Steve arrived with a bunch of cops as well as the ambulance, you probably would have rejoiced all of their deaths if it wasn't for Loki who was barely alive himself.

"There's a child drugged and tied up deep into the cave, get her out ..pleasee" Loki informed Steve before they laid him down on the stretcher to take him to the hospital.

"Keep talking to me okay..please keep looking at me" you whispered softly as you sat by his side, they were taking him to the nearest hospital but it was still far, Odin had taken you both so far out of the city.

"I love you sweet buttons, you know i love you right? I'll always…love you ..even if I'm not here ..I'll continue to love you" his voice came out so weak but his tone held the tenderness you had felt in the last few months, you cried as you heard him, life was getting better, you both were getting better with each other, especially him, he was finally getting the acceptance he craved all his life but those monsters couldn't let him have it.

"Stop talking like that please..please don't do th…I can't ..I can't do this without you"

"You can baby, you're the strongest girl, my best girl, I'm so proud of you..and I'm so sorry i failed again" you shook your head as he apologized, he was trying to say everything as if this was the last time he was talking to you. Thor started to sob like a child and that made you feel even worse.

"Heyyyy ..you fucking oaf, you're going to take care of her okay? Take care of yourself too while you're at it" he forced a chuckle as he spoke to Thor

"Shutup lokkkkiii, you'll be fine, stop being dramatic" Loki smiled as Thor said that then he turned to look at you again, you had his hand in yours and you felt him squeeze it tightly, as tightly as he could, he was starting to lose consciousness.

"Do the doc..umentary, tell them all about you…and do tell them about us yeah??" He whispered softly

"Please don't talk like that..Lolo please" you placed your head down on his chest and his eyes never stopped dripping.

He thought you were strong but you knew he was the only reason why you were still here, why you were able to move on with your life after your mother died, he was your hope for all those years when you didn't have him because you knew you'd get to see him someday but all of that will be gone if he would die today. Without him you'd never see the world the same way, you'd never see the light that only his presence could bring in your life.

"No matter what happens..it's going to be me and you for life okay? Never forget that, never forget meee sweet..heart"

That was the last thing you heard from him before he shut down completely, his grip on your hand loosened. His heart had finally stopped beating and so did yours, because he had your heart with him. It didn't even belong to you, it never really did. You watched Thor breaking down as the doctor tried to revive him but you couldn't even cry or react to his lifeless body, you felt numb.

He had your heart, he took it so you didn't know how you were supposed to go on without your heart. How does one do that?

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

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