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#Apollo lore Olympus
percy-annabeth-grover · 10 months
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When you start reading Lore Olympus as a PJO fan
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keenzinemugstudent · 1 month
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with Lore Olympus ending imma say that the 10 year skip was disappointing I know I wasn't the only one who was interested in seeing how Persephone handle taking over her mom's role? How she learned more about her powers? Did she find out any new information about Hades and how his relationship with Minthie was from Minthie point of view which has Persephone kind of rethinking her whole entire relationship with a guy she's only known for weeks or months???? Or did she learn anything new about what a fertility goddess was and why was so important that people are so interested in her
Also there was literally no point of bringing Eris into the story and being the one who blessed Persephone with wrath when Artemis and Apollo had wrath too, so it means Persephone didn't have to be blessed she just had a normal reaction and made her lose control Eris did not need to be shown she didn't have to be mentioned well she could have been shown but she didn't have to have anything to do with what Persephone did at all she could have just came to trial because she was interested to see all the chaos that was happening that's it
And😬 Artemis wow just wow, protector of women... I don't know what was the point of giving her that title yet when she has not done anything to protect women like at all and why didn't we get to see her having a conversation with Persephone on what happened why were we just giving hints why didn't we see her talking to Apollo but we didn't see them talk at all which is weirs you found out that your twin assaulted your friend in your house and we're not even going to get nothing from that also her relationship with Leto who again we don't even see in the story
And then Persephone going to the underworld and fighting Kronos which wasn't even a fight you've seen enough fighting scenes to know that that was not a fight she did not fist fight that creep which also heart easily defeated him possibly because he still was regaining some of his power I mean he was trapped in the Underworld/ Tartarus and is a time God got beat by a goddess who still doesn't know much for her powers is weird I know some people going to hate me for saying this but the 10 year Gap was something I was looking forward to see because I want to see how Hades and Persephone handle being separated to see what the Demeter was up too but was surprisingly not surprised that it was a let down I feel bad for saying it but I know we were kind of expecting more from 10-year skip
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Thoughts on Minthe
I have seen a lot of people compare Minthe, from Lore Olympus, with Apollo in terms of villainy, but I don't think it's accurate.
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On some level, I recognize the connection they're making: they're both truly awful people with an overblown sense of entitlement who don't know how to accept that no means no.
However, there's a slight difference between them in terms of conscience that actually makes me equate Minthe more with Apollo's father, Zeus.
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Yeah, this obnoxious dic...tator who doesn't know the meaning of self-restraint or fidelity.
However, the difference between him and Apollo, and the thing that he has in common in Minthe, is that both of them have just enough self-awareness to realize that they're crappy people, but it's not enough to actually make them change (see Episode 94 and Episode 76 for reference).
Whereas Apollo...
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...Pretty sure that dude's a representation of a sociopath.
You know who his closest parallel is, though?
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Thetis.
The manipulative, shameless homewrecker who doesn't care who she hurts to get what she wants.
She and Apollo would be a match made...somewhere.
And unlike both of them, Thetis is actually making an effort to change and better herself, and while she's still got a long way to go towards being a good person, I feel a lot more sympathy towards her.
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You go, girl.
End that toxic friendship.
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fandomtrashcannot · 2 years
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Guess who finally got WEBTOON and started reading Lore Olympus?
(Meme made by yours truly)
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sunshines-child · 6 months
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lore Olympus fans are going to HATE this
APOLLO. DID. NOT. RAPE. PERSEPHONE. IN. THE. MYTHS. Rachel did that for her horribly unfinished plot, and because all of y’all have never read actual Greek myths you have immediately bombarded even the APOLLO FROM GREEK MYTH WIKI saying that he raped Persephone. Never happened. I’ve seen so many people get hate for liking Apollo, the MYTH Apollo, because your Rachel Smythe’s self insert webtoon comic said so. i’m done. I was fine with people liking Lore Olympus but the heavy backlash, online hate, and cyber bullying that happens because of this self-insert pussyphone fanfic that completely altered Greek myths says that Apollo “miehmiehmieh”. The only “lore” you know is Lore Olympus.
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beetlewine-art · 7 months
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Me @ Apollo:
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Exept of course, this ugly mf:
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Tag list: @my-name-is-apollo and @apollomes-supremacy
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apollomes-supremacy · 8 months
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"People need to stop saying Lore Olympus is disrespectful to Apollo. Do yOu kNow WHat a ReTeLlinG iS?"
Literally Lore Olympus' comment section (and other places!):
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And my personal favorite:
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(and yes, apparently (cuz im not the one who took the screenshot) this was found under a LO discussion on Instagram)
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genericpuff · 4 days
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my unabridged thoughts on 278-279:
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0lympian-c0uncil · 1 year
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You know what I really hate about lore Olympus?
Is that people who don't know about Greek mythology and read it most likely will think that all of what is happening in it is true.
Like Apollo being  Misogynistic r*pist.
Hestia, being a controlling parental figure to Persephone
Demeter being a controlling, manipulative, mother.
Ares being a huge pervert, to Persephone and treating Aphrodite like shit.
And more like there are people who will believe it and it's scary that this is how people will see these amazing gods and goddesses as monsters instead of the (well not caring. they all have a lot of flaws and some that are unforgivable but you know what I mean) Except Hestia... she is the most loving caring goddess I know so she’s and exception to this rule.
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sydnieminty · 11 months
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☀️ Apollo ☀️
His wrathful/true form takes on an appearance similar to Leto
Info ☀️
- Since Leto is their mother, Hera is particularly resentful of Artemis and Apollo. Hera is not happy about any of Zeus's affairs obviously but this one was particularly angering because it was with an immortal (and titaness) instead of a mortal.
- Apollo knows about how Hera tormented his mother during her pregnancy and is resentful of Hera in return.
- He's very busy, since he is the god of many, many things (prophecy, music, poetry, archery, healing, protection of the young. There's more than this btw)
- He is very much loved by mortals and he enjoys it. He often visits the many temples built for him, giving gifts and prophecies to his worshippers
☀️ Artemis and Apollo
- Like I said on Artemis's post, Apollo and Artemis are twins but they aren't similar in appearance (plus that's not how opposite-gender twins work anyways lol) There's very contrasting appearance between them along with pretty opposite personalities.
- They have a great relationship between each other and are both pretty competitive, especially when it comes to archery
- They're always trying to do things for Leto, who is ostracized for being the last titan not locked up in Tartarus or forced into servitude, along with being hated by Hera.
I probably might as well do a Leto post sometime since I've done Artemis and Apollo lol
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moony-2001 · 1 month
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The Twins ☀️🌙
Hope everyone has a good weekend!
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Riordanverse is so big you can search any tag, no matter how specific, and it's unhinged. So unhinged. Send help. It's either the best thing ever or that one fic you scroll by on AO3 and go "what and the actual fuck?"
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beauty-and-passion · 4 months
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Lore Olympus: a golden mine of bad writing
As I said, one post wasn’t enough.
There is still a lot to say about this webcomic and in this post I would like to talk about how Zeus, Apollo and Kronos have been treated. Here I will focus on the first two acts only, because the third act is not over, as well as the story. And yes, that means I will write another post when this whole thing is over.
I wanted to focus on these three gods in particular because are treated in a way that baffles me and makes me question what did they ever do to Mrs. Smythe. Tell me, Rachel: was it something personal? Did they do something to your family? What happened?
But maybe you don’t understand my point, especially if you haven’t read the Greek myths at all and you think that these three are just “Unfaithful Guy”, “Rapist” and “Evil Villain Har Har Who Also Wants To Rape”. Seriously, what’s with this weird obsession with raping everyone and with sex? Did Mrs. Smythe ever see anything else in myths, besides sex?
So please, allow me to explain why their characterizations are wrong and boring - and no, not just from a mythological point of view. 
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Zeus: the walking clichè
Making Zeus an asshole is understandable, even if utterly boring and clichè. Oh wow, he's an unfaithful husband and he's vain. Very original. Groundbreaking, I'd say. I’ve never read about him being unfaithful to his wife, not even once in all the 200 million retellings made during the history of mankind.
It's a shame because Zeus is much more than that. He's a mighty ruler with a strong sense of justice: in several myths, he punished the assholes for their wrongdoings. He's very clever and strong. He's also associated with xenia, the custom of offering protection to strangers, which means Zeus is also a protector of foreigners.
I mean, this information alone offers so many new perspectives about him! Just imagine if, instead of hanging around and doing nothing useful aside from being everyone’s favorite punching bag, Zeus fought against every corrupt system of the mortal realm, in order to protect the foreigners and the innocents. It would’ve been so cool to see a different side of him, instead of the same thing over and over again!
But nope, Zeus = unfaithful husband only. Let’s ignore all the other aspects of him, to focus on the one everyone focuses on. Let’s make him the umpteenth version of the same guy, instead of offering a new vision. This will surely make the story worth everyone’s time!
Rachel, this could’ve worked if I was 12 and had never read a retelling in my entire life. But since I’m more than twice that age, seeing Zeus as an unfaithful husband again doesn’t get my interest. And I’m sure this doesn’t only apply to me, but to everyone who already saw at least two retellings of him. Isn’t this story supposed to be new and original? Then why are we still picking from the same old clichè visions of these gods? Where is the writer’s personality and ability?
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Apollo: king of wasted potentials
I am absolutely, completely, 100% baffled at how Apollo has been treated in this story.
It's insulting to see the most beloved Greek god treated as a bidimensional piece of shit. Not only because he doesn't make any sense in the story (why is he here in the first place? Did Persephone and Apollo even interact in any myth?), but also because there are so many different possibilities for him, that seeing him being this is the biggest waste of potential I’ve ever seen.
A brief recap of who Apollo really is: Apollo is the embodiment of the sun. He is the god of arts and crafts. He's the most beautiful god, he embodies the concept of perfect Greek beauty. And he is associated with a lot of cool stuff, like medicine, truth and oracles. Also, like most of the other Greek gods, Apollo had many male and female lovers.
Now, look me in the eye and tell me that, with all of this, your first idea about him is "yeah, let's make him a stupid rapist, so stupid to not realize that hey, maybe forcing a girl to sleep with you will not make her fall in love with you". Oh and let's not forget he randomly decided he wanted Zeus' throne just after the fertility plot point had been introduced Because Yes. And he’s running for president of Whatever-Land Because Yes. Also, he’s currently involved again in another evil plot Because… yeah, you got it.
It’s just so frustrating to see him being the biggest loser of all time, considering how much cooler he could’ve been. Just think about it: we could've had a bisexual musician, who does concerts with his band (the Muses) and has a shit ton of lovers. We could’ve had a heartbroken doctor, who does his best to save everyone because he has not been able to save his own son from death (Asclepius). We could've had a mysterious advisor who can see the future because of his foresight powers.
What did we get instead? A fucking rapist.
Apollo is nothing but wasted potential. He’s an insult to himself, the story, common sense, and the Greek culture. Of all the incredible things he could've been, he became the most insulting of them all. I really cannot bear to see this fucking idiot and his punching-bag face, pretending to be Apollo. He’s not Apollo.
But if there is a guy I can see less than him, then let me introduce you to…
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Kronos: Supreme Master of Wasted Potential
First of all: why is Kronos here? Why does this love story need Persephone to defeat a big bad guy? Just to show how cool and badass she is? Considering that their fight was a joke, it didn't work very well.
But okay, let's say we need a villain Because Yes. Kronos is still a huge waste of potential, probably the biggest waste of potential of the whole series until now. He could’ve been an interesting, multifaceted character, but he became a cartoonish supervillain har-har I want power.
Sigh.
But let’s take a step back and talk about the real, mythological Kronos. His story starts with his parents, Uranus and Gaia. The two had a lot of sons, including Titans (like Kronos) and Hecatonchires (monsters with fifty heads and one hundred arms). Disgusted by their monstrous nature or maybe just out of fear of being overthrown, Uranus chained his sons away into Gaia's womb (aka the Tartarus) so that they could never come out again.
Gaia suffered from this decision, so she devised a plan: she made a stone sickle, gathered her sons and tried to persuade them to castrate Uranus.
All of her sons were afraid of Uranus, Kronos was the only one brave enough to do it. And he was successful: he overthrew his father and became the new ruler of the universe, along with his wife/sister Rhea.
However, after becoming king, he didn't free all of his brothers as his mother wanted, but locked Hecatonchires and Cyclopes away once again. And so, Gaia told him that, one day, he would meet his father’s same fate and be overthrown by one of his own children.
Scared by these words, Kronos devised a plan: every time he had a new child, he took the baby from Rhea and swallowed them. Rhea was desperate and, in order to save her last son Zeus, she sought Gaia's help.
So Rhea gave birth to Zeus in a secret place, then handed Kronos a stone wrapped in clothes: he swallowed it, thinking that it was his son. This way, Zeus managed to escape the same fate as his siblings and was raised in secret, away from his father, until he was old enough to come back and fulfill his destiny.
And now, you may think Zeus overthrew his father with a sword and killed him and nah nah nah, myths are not that stupid and predictable. Zeus didn’t use violence to overthrow his father, but intelligence. He disguised himself to reach Kronos' court and, at the right time, he gave him a drink. That drink was an emetic (given by Gaia), that forced Kronos to throw up everything he swallowed, in reverse order: first the stone he thought was his last son, then Zeus' brothers and sisters.
After freeing his siblings, Zeus did what his father would've never done: he released the Hecatoncheires and the Cyclops to help him in the following battle against Kronos and the other Titans, a battle known as Titanomachy.
The war ended with the victory of the Olympians (i.e. Zeus and his siblings). Many Titans were confined in Tartarus, under the Hecatonchires' control, others were not imprisoned and kept appearing in other myths.
And Kronos? His fate differs depending on the myths. In some versions, he was imprisoned in Tartarus. But according to other, more interesting versions, Zeus forgave him after years, freed him and Kronos became king of the Elysian Fields: the famous earthly paradise reserved for the greatest Greek heroes.
Now. Just look at all of this beautiful, beautiful potential.
We have Gaia, a powerful goddess who overthrew two rulers of the universe, without moving a finger. A goddess strong and clever, but also a mother who wanted all of her children to be free - even the most hideous ones. She could’ve been a tragic figure, a master manipulator, or an evil schemer. Or all these things!
We have the Hecatonchires: fighters so powerful, to turn the tide of any battle. They could’ve been scary and intimidating, but also tragic monsters who just wanted to be accepted. They could’ve taught a beautiful lesson about the importance of accepting the ugly and giving everyone a chance to prove themselves.
Then we have Kronos. And Kronos had everything to be the greatest character.
Think about this concept: Kronos has always been afraid of Uranus, just like his brothers. He was just better at hiding his feelings. And that visceral fear is still inside him, it still haunts him after centuries, just like the memory of how he overthrew his father. And that fear takes the shape of paranoid thoughts about his father coming back to take the throne.
Kronos could’ve seen his father haunting him, but he could’ve also dissociated and seen himself as his father. In his altered state of mind, he could’ve been both the king and the one who overthrows him.
That could’ve made him a truly dangerous, unhinged character. A god who can’t see what’s real anymore, obsessed with the ghosts of his past. A god with nothing to lose and everything to gain. After all, if he kills his children again, the throne would be his once more. And, since he sees himself as himself and as his father at the same time, he would think that he is the "true king" coming back to take his throne.
That could’ve been awesome. Kronos could've been complex, desperate and multifaceted, a villain to pity and to be afraid of. A truly new, interesting version to know and love.
And do you have any idea how incredible Zeus could’ve been in this version? We could see him facing Kronos again, still as strong and determined as when he was young. And while everyone would expect him to kill Kronos, he would use his intelligence once again. He would prove to Kronos (and to everyone else) how intelligence is always superior to violence and how he's a good leader, despite his thousands of flaws.
Also, we could've seen Zeus talking to the defeated Kronos and making him the ruler of the Elysian Fields. We could've had a meaningful ending, in which Zeus understands Kronos' fears and shares his own.
I would’ve adored this, because according to the myth, Zeus was also supposed to be overthrown by a son! Hence why he swallowed Metis (his first wife) while she was pregnant.
The myth never truly clarifies who this supposed "son" is, but according to the different versions, Metis was pregnant not with a son, but with a daughter. A daughter who, one day, would be born, full grown, from Zeus' head. A daughter who would become Zeus' favorite child: Athena.
Honestly? I ADORE the idea that there was never a son to overthrow Zeus, but a daughter. And she would not overthrow his father by violence like her grandfather or by intelligence like her father, but by love. Athena doesn't need to take the throne from her father physically, she doesn't even need to sit on that throne: not when her father loves her more than anything else.
And I love the idea that Zeus is aware of that. He knows his daughter is his weakness. He knows that, if she asks, he will willingly give her that throne, because he loves her too much. And I would've loved to see him sharing these thoughts with the defeated Kronos. It could've been a beautiful moment, to see Zeus talking with the fatherly figure he always missed from his life. It could've led to a beautiful, meaningful ending for a dramatic story.
But can you see the problem here? This concept works for a story about Zeus, not about Hades and Persephone! These two have nothing to do with Kronos! Heck, even Rachel Smythe knows it, considering she had to pull a stupid plot point out of thin air, to explain why Kronos would give a damn about Persephone!
In case you were wondering: yes, the fertility-magical-power-battery-thing is bullshit. Gods don’t need a magical battery to be powerful. And no, fertility goddesses are not rare either: Aphrodite, Demeter, Hera, even Artemis are just a few of the fertility goddesses in Greek mythology. Kronos could’ve picked his favorite from a large pool, instead of becoming an absolute creep with Persephone in the stupidest fight of all time.
And speaking of that, two words on the supposed “fight”. First of all, apologies to all fights for being associated with this thing, because this was anything but a fight: it was a cartoonish conversation accompanied by the umpteenth sexualization of Persephone, who first appeared fully naked, then with a dress so stupid to defy the laws of physics and perspective.
And if you don’t believe me, please see it by yourself: this is how the dress was supposed to be, according to episode 75
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This is how it ended up. Apparently, the Fates didn’t predict how huge Persephone’s boobs would be and the neckline didn’t grow accordingly: I feared to see one of them slipping out from it anytime during the “fight”
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Also, please appreciate how Persephone is turned to the side, but the dress’ stupidly huge neckline is shown from the front, otherwise we would’ve seen her full naked boobs.
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And that stupid neckline kept bothering me throughout the whole “fight”, because it kept changing size. Check the episodes and see it by yourself: sometimes it’s smaller, other times it’s wider and it keeps moving in impossible ways. It drove me insane.
But since we’re talking about drawings, please allow me a very brief parenthesis about them too.
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The drawings are a joke
I am not an artist. I can barely draw a straight line by hand. But I studied art history, perspective, proportions and colors, so I’m not completely clueless.
But you don’t need to be clueless, to notice how bad the drawings became. If you have two eyes and saw another human being in your life before, then you can notice by yourself how bad they are.
It’s not a secret that Lore Olympus’ art style changed over time. In the beginning, this comic was characterized by a lot of straight lines and geometric shapes, alternating and mixing with gentle curves. There were blur effects, colored outlines, a lot of details that gave an overall dreamy, ethereal vibe to every chapter (like the soft glow that accompanied the gods).
But as the story progressed, these elements disappeared. The geometric shapes gave way to an overall “softness” and roundness. The dreamy vibes and blur effects were replaced by sharper, clearer drawings. A distinct black outline now marks every character.
And speaking of characters, they were the ones who changed more. Lore Olympus always had funny, silly faces but the characters were also able to be serious and look natural. Now all we have are grotesque faces: the characters are a collection of caricatures and no one has a normal expression anymore. Check by yourself, by confronting a random episode of the third act with the first one: they’re two different worlds.
The disproportions were common too, since episode one. But at least they were somehow plausible, while now they’re completely absurd. It’s as if Mrs Smythe completely forgot what a human being looks like.
And this is pretty evident in how all characters became a rough draft of the two protagonists: all women got Persephone’s face, all men become buff and huge, with wide-ass shoulders and teeny tiny heads. This is particularly obvious at the end of season 2 / start of season 3, when we see some of the funniest images ever, like Hades with a tiny head and shoulders as wide as the entire USA
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Or this hilariously bad image of Zeus with clown shoes and a head as big as his deformed hand.
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No excuse can justify these drawings: no one is running after Mrs Smythe, nor forcing her to draw, and people are paying her real money to work on this webcomic. The least she can do is draw something that doesn’t look like a bad distortion of a human being.
Unless this isn’t her drawing, but her staff’s work. In that case, they are still paid to do their job, right? Or do they think this story is a joke and decide to show how much of a joke it is, by turning everyone into a grotesque caricature?
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In conclusion
Lore Olympus is hilarious because of how bad the writing is. It’s a manual example of how not to write a climax for your story. It’s a perfect demonstration of how you can still fail, even with great characters with endless possibilities. It’s a list of all the mistakes you can make as an artist.
If you’re a writer or an artist in general, please check Lore Olympus and study it. Here you will find everything you should never do and all the mistakes you should never make.
As a writer myself, I appreciate Lore Olympus, because I need works that teach me what I shouldn’t do. Good teachers are useful, but bad ones are even more useful, because it’s thanks to them that I can learn and grow and make better stories. Lore Olympus might be a failure from an artistic and writing point of view, but it might also serve as a foundation, from which other people can develop better ideas.
Actually, it already did it! Do you want to read a better story, rose from the disappointing ashes of Lore Olympus? Then check Lore Rekindled and @genericpuff: you will find their work here on Tumblr. They planned everything ahead and it’s pretty clear by reading it. The characters make more sense, the events have a more logical explanation. And the art style is much, much better than the last Lore Olympus.
We will meet again for the third and (for now) final post about this series, a much-needed post about the protagonists of this story: Hades, Persephone and Demeter.
<- Previous post - Next post ->
(How about a coffee? ☕)
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losthopeinloreolympus · 5 months
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I wanna make two things clear about Apollon for the lo fans who believe everything that happened in lo actually happened in the myths before I go to bed:
1- he did NOT rape Persephone in the myths. Apollon had nothing to do with Persephone other than asking for her hand in marriage and getting rejected.
2- he also didn't try to overthrow Zeus with Hera, Athena, and Poseidon. While it makes sense since he has a few good reasons to try and overthrow Zeus, there's actually little to no reference of Apollon playing any type of role in the rebellion, it's always Hera, Athena, and Poseidon, no Apollon.
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kores-pomegranate · 2 months
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MAYBE THEY’LL KILL HIM AND THAT’LL BE HOW IT ENDS
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demeterdefence · 2 months
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i want so badly to like this scene because on the surface it has so many elements that could have and might have worked if they were implemented any differently but god it's still such a surface level display of a plot that's been hanging around since season one.
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like yeah, she would be! persephone has not seen her rapist since he threatened to expose the photos he took of her during the assault, and it caused her to break down and run away. she knows he's manipulative, she's seen first hand how apollo has warped and twisted so many people to hide his crime, she knows he's powerful and dangerous. even surrounded by so many other people, the nineteen year old girl who was asleep in her bed is still terrified of apollo.
i have zero issue with this part - in fact, i really sympathized with persephone here. the idea of not only having to play nice with your abuser, to pretend to give them an ounce of respect or kindness they do not deserve, but knowing they are not sorry for what they did, knowing they want still to hurt you in some way? you can be queen of the underworld or the mortal realm or of all the gods, and that is still a horrifying prospect.
but then we run into this:
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and it's not a bad sequence, or a problematic one; the issue is that persephone has not done any of the work to get to this point.
and by work, i'm talking about therapy, about sitting down and talking to someone about this on her own terms. she had one therapy session where her assault was tacked into the last five to ten minutes of the session; there is no indication she's ever gone back. she's been confronted on her assault - hades, hera, artemis, eros, and hermes have all found out about it without persephone telling them, or wanting to tell them, and hephaestus is aware (which it seems persephone does not know) because he deleted the photos of her assault. hera and hephaestus literally saw her assault in those photos. all of those people and instances are outside of persephone's control; she has never, not once, told any of her friends or her husband of what happened to her of her own choice. in at least three of those instances, she had to comfort the other person who is finding out about her trauma.
and that leads to another issue, which is that persephone has categorically refused to bring apollo to justice. in the past, when apollo had leverage over her, and she was still coming to terms with what happened to her, it was understandable that persephone didn't want anyone to know what happened. the problem is that in the time between her rape and current time, apollo has tried to kill one of her close friends, brought demeter to zeus in exchange for persephone's hand, attempted to kill the king of the gods, and is now weaponizing the deadly winter to become king. at least three members of the olympians know persephone was assaulted, including the queen of the gods. persephone has witnesses and backup and power, and she is still not using it to put apollo away.
so this promise to protect herself, to protect the nineteen year old girl who was alone with a monster - it rings a little too hollow for me. because persephone isn't protecting herself, she's running from herself. she's running from who she used to be and what she once was and what led her to that point. and as so many abuse victims can attest to, running often feels like the easiest thing, and the most protective thing. but at some point, you have to stop running, because it isn't protecting you - it's wearing you down.
persephone doesn't need to run anymore, and as much as i like to trounce this comic and all the narrative choices, i say this with a lot of compassion and remorse: this isn't protecting herself, and i want better for her.
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