#And honestly I did like the story and the characters
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Luxury - LN
Part 2 of Hopeless
Lando Norris x fem!reader (mentions of reader x Charles Leclerc)
Summary: and if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once
Themes: none just sex
Song: slut! by taylor swift
word count: 3949
Warnings: smut, minors dni!, cheating, lando's a bad friend, charles is a bad boyfriend even tho he's not there, reader is a bad girlfriend, honestly the only decent person in this mini series is Oscar, unprotected sex, heaps of praise, and proofreading? we don't know her
Notes: again I'm not condoning cheating (unless it's Lando) thanks to those that encouraged me to write this from reader's pov, although I got carried away with the smut. Soooo there's going to be two more parts to this to finish their story <3
You love Lando.
Because he's… Well, Lando. He's become your very best friend. You can talk to him about anything, whether it's work or the shoes you're thinking of getting or the book you just finished, he's always willing to listen. He commiserates over bitchy coworkers, encourages you to just get the fucking shoes, and questions the decisions of the characters you're in love with. He's always up for a game, even if it's three in the morning and he's flying out at nine. He doesn't complain when you show up and bake enough pastries and cupcakes to fill a supermarket, warning you not to tell his trainer when he sneaks a few.
And he makes you laugh. Only he can bring out the ugly snorting laugh that you hate, but you kind of love it because it makes him giggle hysterically.
It's Lando. You don't know how you survived as long as you did before he came, screaming with laughter, into your life.
So, when you began having doubts about Charles, there was only one place to go. You've lived in Monaco with your boyfriend for six months and still haven't made a local friend. Lando's there, and he takes one look at you and lets you in.
And here you are, hugging him after pouring out your worries over Charles' behavior. Because he made you laugh, like he always does.
"If he is cheating, he's a fucking moron. You're not even my girl and I can't find anyone that compares."
Lando's words give you pause and you stare at him. You're used to him cracking jokes. Even if you're having a bad day he never fails to make you cackle until you're crying and snorting – like he just did. This time, though, he's not joking. His eyes aren't dancing with humor, he doesn't have that stupid grin that's not a grin like he does when he's trying to make you laugh.
Your eyes dip to his mouth.
Suddenly, you want to feel his lips. You've felt them on your cheek. Lando is a clingy friend, so it's not new to be this close to him. He's always hugging you, kissing your cheeks, resting his head in your lap, leaning against you when he's drunk. But you want his lips on yours. You're not perfect, you've wondered more than a few times what it would be like to kiss him. Lifting your gaze to his eyes again, you breathe in.
"Lando," you whisper. You can hear the longing in your voice and see it mirrored in his eyes.
You both lean in, meeting halfway, and—
Fireworks.
His breath stutters against your lips, his forehead resting against yours briefly. "Y/n," he gasps. The fingers on your cheek slide into your hair and his lips are on yours again, fully this time.
It's gentle but wild, both desperate and calm. It soothes you and sparks a fire at the same time. Your hands cup his neck, hear his moan echoing yours as your tongues meet. The dance that's as old as time that has you craving more, your secret fantasies rising up while you picture his lips and tongue on your skin.
Lando's arm wraps around your waist and you willingly move closer, craving the tenderness and the heat. His mouth is still on yours and you settle in his lap, pressing as close to him as possible. He's the first breath of oxygen after being underwater. The first raindrops after a dry spell.
You never want this kiss to end.
You feel alive, and right now you can't think about what that means, you can only think of how invigorating this is. Pressing tighter against him you whine, feeling him growing hard in his sweats.
He tears his lips from yours with a gasp, eyes glazed with desire, his pulse racing beneath your fingertips. Digging his fingers into your waist, he presses his face against your neck, nuzzling and kissing. Breathing deeply, like you're his source of air.
"God, Lando," you whisper, wrapping your arms around him and letting your head fall back.
"Please," he moans, both arms around you now, and you can hear the faint whine in his voice. "Please, y/n…"
You nod, tugging on his hair and catching him in another kiss.
"Y/n," he whispers at the corner of your lips, and you can feel that he's holding himself back.
"Yes."
It's barely left your mouth when he's standing, holding you to him. You make a mental note to ask him when he learned to be graceful, because he always trips over stuff or walks into doorways. With your legs around him and your lips on his, though, he isn't, and you don't realize he's gotten to his bedroom until he's lowering you on his bed.
You drag him down with you, half fearful that if you break contact you'll think of a reason to stop. Or he will. And you can finally admit to yourself that you've wanted this for so long, now it's here you don't want it to end.
He moves up the bed, dragging you with him, kiss interrupted by his little chuckle. Pulling back a little, he cups your cheek and breathes your name. He stares at you, reverence bordering on worship, as though he can't believe you're there. "Y/n…" It's a whisper and a prayer and a plea and your racing heart twists and tumbles in your chest.
You say his name the same way, breath catching at the way he melts over you. The gentle wildness, calm desperation, is back, growing frantic while he seems determined to kiss you until you forget everything for him. His kiss grows feverish, breathless gasps whispering over your lips. His hands are everywhere, pushing and pulling at your clothes and you unknowingly mirror his touch, whining when he sits back and rips his shirt over his head.
His eyes are feral, branding each spot of your body he glances at. He squeezes your hips, dragging your shirt up with his blazing palms, his teeth catching his bottom lip as you arch towards him. Your shirt and bra slip away and he presses his face between your breasts, his breath pure fire. Holding you up, his lips whisper over your skin, hand clutching the back of your neck when his mouth closes over your nipple.
Crying out his name, you clutch at his shoulders, squeezing your legs around his waist. He licks and sucks, slow but needy, tightening his hold each time you tremble. Each tiny motion sends narrow flames of desire coursing through your veins, gathering in the pit of your abdomen, twisting and curling like his tongue, until you feel the ache of need. "Lando… Please, Lando…"
You're grinding against him, able to feel how wet he's making you, and you know he can feel it too when he moans harshly and releases your nipple. He shifts, groaning low in his chest as his cock presses against you. "Shit, baby…"
He guides you back down, lips crashing into yours, and his hands tremble as he briefly fumbles with the button of your shorts. His breath fans over your cheek and he deepens the kiss, both of you whining when he pulls back again. Dragging your shorts down your legs, he stares into your eyes, balling them up in his fist and flinging them over his shoulder.
"You're so beautiful," he says softly, staring at you in awe.
The way he said it, coupled with the look in his eyes, made you feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. There was something so heartfelt about the compliment that you felt the unexpected sting of tears.
Lando's fingertips trail over your skin, lips moving silently as he traces the dips and curves of your hips and thighs. An ode to you that was unheard but understood. He swallows hard, closing his eyes briefly before raising his eyes to yours again. Leaning down, he gives you a tender kiss. You cup his face then drag your hands down, memorizing his chiseled form, and when your fingertips reach the waistband of his sweats he hums, gently catching your wrists and guiding your hands above your head.
You gasp for a breath as he rains kisses down the side of your neck, scattering them over your chest, his destination clear when he moves lower, nipping gently at your skin. You lift your head slightly and find him staring up at you, eyes greener than usual. He's so beautiful it takes your breath away.
He hooks his thumbs in your panties and drags them down, scattering worshipful kisses down to your ankles. His lips slide into a playful smile and he lightly tickles behind your knee, grinning when you squeal. The brief lightheartedness eases the tension and you're able to breathe, but the foggy haze of passion doesn't fade one bit. It only increases as he gently spreads your legs, his eyes still on yours.
He's still staring up at you when his tongue drags up your slit, and maybe he kept staring at you but you couldn't be aware, your head falling back with a lustful moan at the sensation. You hear him swallow, his appreciative moan vibrating against your core. He does it again, delving deeper, a soft hum pulsing against your clit.
"Fuck," you gasp, feeling his grip on your thighs tighten when you tried to squirm.
"Lemme take care of you baby," he murmurs. Swirling his tongue over your clit, he teases over and over before giving it a noisy kiss. "You're so wet for me, y/n…"
You force your head up, breath catching because he's still staring up at you. Eyes locked, you can't look away, hands gripping at the sheets while his lips sweep along your slit. The ache inside you only grows, almost painful now as he lifts his head, lips glistening. He licks them slowly and you're in awe at the look of bliss on his face.
"Fuckin' knew you'd taste good," he murmurs before settling more firmly between your legs. He's gentle, hands making their way to your hips while he nuzzles and kisses your clit.
"Please," you whine.
He hums, somehow managing to look innocent, and you watch his eyes darken. Kissing your clit again, he pulls it between his lips, his hand sliding from your hip. Your back arches, his name a ragged moan as his finger teases your entrance and his tongue settles on your clit.
You want to know how he got so fucking good. How he knows what you like when you've never discussed sex with him before. And you think he may be a mind reader because he seems to know just what you want. He keeps his tongue on your clit, licking gently but rapidly, two long fingers inside you, curling and stroking slowly. You're gasping, trembling, hips jerking, heart hammering, still unable to look away from his eyes. The moans of his name turn into whines then whimpers and you feel your body tighten, pussy clenching around his fingers, your breathing stuttering and stopping completely when he curls them deeper, steadily rubbing your spot, and—
"Lando!"
You're cumming, harder than you thought you would. It takes your breath away and you're consumed by exhilaration, your vision going black then exploding with a galaxy's worth of stars. It's too much but you never want it to end, your voice breaking as you cry out to him.
You blink and try to catch your breath, weak but still wound tight. And he's there, softly licking you clean, murmuring sweetly while he crawls up, hands gentle on your trembling body. Shaking hands grab at his biceps and you feel tears on your cheeks when his fingers brush them away.
"It's alright, love," he whispers, lips brushing yours twice before he kisses you tenderly. He curls over you, almost protectively, his voice gently praising you. "Breathe, darling, it's alright…"
"Jesus," you hiss when you can finally speak, blinking rapidly to get your bearings.
"You're so gorgeous when you cum," he murmurs, tracing your cheek with his thumb. His eyes are so soft, practically glowing with admiration. Staring at you as though you're the source of everything good in his world. "You're always beautiful… Like, bathed in sunlight beautiful, you know?" He closes his eyes briefly, breathing slow as his lips return to yours in a kiss that leaves you weak. "But right now, right here…" He sighs. "You're breathtaking."
And you feel breathtaking. Stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, adored, worshipped, all the adjectives you'd use to describe the leading women in the romances you read. You never want to not feel this way again. "Lando?"
"Hm?" He's still staring at you like you hung the stars.
"I need you." Your arms still feel weak but you run your hands over his shoulders, leaning in for a slow kiss while your fingers trace down his sides. Long, languid moments pass while you kiss, so caught up in the feeling of being cherished you're distracted, enjoying the soft suppleness of his lips on yours. His palm cups your neck and there's a subtle change, your breath quickening as his mouth slants over yours. Nudging the waistband of his sweats down, you hear his soft hum, miss the touch of his hands when he reaches down to push them off, his hands bumping into yours when you both reach to ease down his boxer briefs.
He breaks the kiss with a little laugh but it dies as your hand cups around his cock. And the sound he makes is the sexiest sound you've ever heard. It's a gasping, whiny moan, and suddenly you need to know the sounds he'll make when he's inside you. Stroking him, you stare into his eyes and see the question burning. You nod, reluctantly letting go, anticipation stealing your breath as he nudges your thighs further apart. He sits back, lightly clapping and squeezing your thighs.
"God, you're hot," you say without thinking.
Lando smirks, squeezing your thighs again. "You think so?"
You roll your eyes. "Fuck's sake, look at you," you tell him, sweeping your hands through the air to indicate… him. Tousled curls, lean muscle, golden tan. You blink, focusing on the necklace he's wearing, lips parting in surprise.
It's the one you gave him for his birthday last year. You don't know why it makes you feel all soft and mushy inside to see him wearing it now. He's worn it plenty of times, but seeing it on him now, on a day you know he didn't plan to see you… It means something to you.
"You can take a photo if you like," he says.
Giggling, you're half-tempted to take him up on the offer, but he shifts, and his cock glides along your slit and your need is back in full force. "Later," you whisper, hips rolling upwards.
"Yeah?" He smirks again, eyes flicking from your face to between your thighs. His hands slide up, thumb whispering over your clit as he leans over you, his other hand gripping the pillow by your head.
Threading your fingers through his hair, you spread your legs wider, meeting his eyes as his cock slowly pushes into you. The stretch pulls a whine from your chest and you hear his gasping moan. He bites his lip but it doesn't muffle the whimper as he sinks into you and you arch, the sound almost sending you over the edge.
"Shit – fuck," he gasps, clutching tightly at your thigh.
"I know baby," you whine, digging your fingers into his scalp.
"Knew you'd feel good," he whispers between noisy kisses, holding your thigh against his hip as he presses as deep as possible.
"You feel better," you pant. It's like he was built to fill you, and when he's over you like this you can feel his heartbeat against your chest, thrilled that it's racing as fast as yours. It's almost perfect, the way he feels in and over you, but you need more. Your body craves all of him and you whisper a plea, feeling a shiver ripple through him.
He begins to move. Slow and tender, holding your thigh and cupping your neck. Breathless, almost sloppy kisses between echoing gasps and whines and moans. Your nails drag over his skin and you revel in the way he practically whimpers your name. His room is soon overheated, sweat beading on your skin and he inhales sharply, dipping his head to lick it from your throat then leans back, fingers dragging down your front.
You arch into his touch and it leaves goosebumps in its wake. So good. The words echo over and over in your mind, falling from your mouth like a fervent mantra.
"Look at you," he moans, resting his hand on your lower abdomen. "You're being so good, taking all of me."
"Fuck," you whisper, shocked that the phrase has you clenching and dripping around him. If he keeps that up you know you'll cum again—
"C'mon." It's a low, breathy groan. "Work for it, baby."
You grab at the sheets then at him, needing to feel his skin as you begin to roll your hips. He matches your pace, his hands keeping you steady when your back arches and you cry out his name.
"Yes, just like that," he whispers.
"Lando—"
"I know, I know…" He leans down, nipping at your bottom lip then kisses you, and you can feel his neediness. "You feel so good, y/n—"
"Gonna cum," you whimper, clutching at his sides then his back, your hips jerking now. Your head falls back, the heat in and around you almost overwhelming and in the split second before you break you hear him whimper.
He wraps his arms around you as you arch off the bed, holding you to him, his hips moving steadily, his voice coaxing you – let it out, baby, let me hear you. You shudder and scream, panting when he drags you upright with him, lips crashing against yours while he holds you. "Don't stop," he begs, an edge to his voice, and his hands slip on your skin, grasping tight enough to leave bruises. "Give it to me again, love."
"C-can't," you whine, wrapping your arms around his neck. And even though you say it you move, trembling and panting, stars blinding you.
Or maybe it's just the pure desperation in his eyes.
"Yes you can," he murmurs. One hand slips between you and there's giddiness in his smile when his fingers strum your clit and you let out a shout.
"It's—" You curl your fingers in his hair, feel the sweat, hear his heavenly moan. And words you never thought you'd say tumble from your mouth. "It's never been this good – I love it."
His arm tightens around you and you feel his cock twitch inside you. "Me too," he whispers, other hand dancing up your spine and cupping the back of your head, his fingers still steady on your clit. "Love it, y/n."
"Don't stop," you beg, rocking harder in his lap.
Lando whines softly, tongue darting over your lips. "You're gonna make me cum."
You slow, enjoying his little growl. Invigorated by his eagerness, you have a split second of panic because he's not wearing a condom but it's immediately forgotten, your toes curling as his fingers rub harder. And for a nanosecond you imagine being pregnant with his child. "Lan…"
"Need it. This. You." It's nonsense but not really, mumbled against your lips, his eyes drifting closed. "Love it. This…"
"You," you breathe.
His eyes snap open and he gasps, panic flashing then disappearing when you nod. "Not supposed to."
"Can't help it," you moan.
He hisses, squeezing his eyes shut. "D'you want to not?"
"No," you cry.
He kisses you, guiding you back down, and it's bliss, it's heaven, it's pure ecstasy, it's everything it's supposed to be. Euphoria wrapped in blazing heat and vivid light. He's whimpering and moaning against your lips, hips flush with yours and straining, and another orgasm crashes through you at the feel of him cumming, his body your new temple, his name your new prayer.
When you can breathe again you wait for the awkwardness. The weirdness. But it doesn't come. He's still tender and sweet, murmuring even more praise. His hands are gentle where they'd been rough, his lips soft on your cheeks. When he pulls away there's a mutual hiss, and you see the smirk of pride when he looks down to see his cum trickling out of you.
"You can take a photo if you like," you joke, watching his cheeks darken as he grins at you.
"Don't tempt me." He leans to give you another kiss. "Be right back."
You nod, humming as he drags the covers over you before he leaves. He goes into the bathroom and you lie there, surrounded by his scent, feeling his sweat dry on your skin, body still tingling from the best sex you've ever had. You sigh, wondering when the guilt will creep in.
It doesn't yet but you know it will eventually.
Lando returns, washcloths in hand, and you're both silent while he clears the drying sweat from your body, eyes locking when he gently cleans your slit. He flings the cloths towards the bathroom and sits on the edge of the bed, fixing the duvet over you.
"Y/n?"
You sit up, recognizing the vulnerability. It's rare that Lando's like this. He confesses to weaknesses but rarely ever bares them, and it almost breaks your heart, hearing the worry in his voice. Waiting for him to speak, you watch his fingers pleat and twist then smooth the fabric of the duvet.
"What happens now?" he whispers, slowly lifting his head at the same time as you.
"I don't know," you admit.
He nods, swallowing, and looks away.
"I'll go," you say. Because you can't do this. You can't be awkward with him. Better to just pull away even though it's too late for that. Ripping the bandage off will leave a scar but it's for the best. You'll only hurt him more if you stick around.
You're nearly off the bed when he finally speaks again.
"Stay." It's barely a whisper. The sound of him stretching across the bed is louder, and his fingers grasping at yours are loudest of all.
You know what will happen if you do. You can't even let yourself think of what's already happened, how you're no better than the boyfriend you allegedly love, or how everything has changed.
"I meant it," he says, his voice stronger now.
You look from his hand to his face.
"I wanted this. But… I need you." His voice shakes a little but he says the words and you know how much it means that he's doing this.
Lando doesn't discuss his feelings. Ever. You asked him once and he shrugged, eyes shuttering as he'd explained he'd been hurt too much before. Turning your hand, you let your fingers twine with his.
"I wanted this." He draws in a shaky breath. "I know I wasn't supposed to, but I…"
You wait, knowing he has to work through it. He hates for anyone to put words in his mouth. So you give him the time, unconsciously pulling your legs back onto the bed.
"I like this." He gestures to the twisted sheets. "More than I dreamed I would. But… I love us, y/n."
"I love us too," you whisper.
His sigh trembles the air around you. Looking at your joined hands, he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. "Stay."
#f1#f1 fic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris smut#lando norris imagine#my writings > ln#this wasn't supposed to be a series but here we are
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A New Chapter
Y/N Williamson Epilogue??
(My last fic before I refresh my page/content...)
IMPORTANT: This fic involves a heterosexual relationship between R and a Fictional character... If this is something you don't want to read I suggest you move on.
WARNINGS: bad injury (hip), mentions of hospitals and surgery, moving away, rehab, heterosexual relationships, some swearing, periods, endometriosis, vomit/mentions of, being scared to return home, mild sickness, kids?, hints/links to miscarriage (not everyone will notice), suggestive?? - it's long so there are a lot, I have tried to list them in order, however if you do really want to read it but you can't bc of some of the warnings message me and I can see if I can cut that part of the story out for you.
A/N: Not properly edited yet, I will edit it later - so sorry if any mistakes. Also sorry if the second half of it feels rushed, it was getting so long but I may have accidentally rushed it trying to make it not insanely long... (Word Count: 7462 - be prepared, hopefully it's not boring)
Your dream of playing in an Olympics Final came crashing down 15 minutes into the Matildas’ opening match of the tournament. A corner had been given, Steph kicked it in and the next second you were on the ground in agony, it seemed to happen in fast forward for you. However for Leah, who was watching at home, the moment unfolded so agonisingly slowly, she saw Frohms place a hand on your shoulder restricting you from jumping, as Oberdorf jumped into the air behind you, if it wasn't for Frohms’ hand on your shoulder the goal could’ve been yours, she was angry and hoped the ref had picked up on it, however she wasn’t angry for long, as she saw the trajectory Oberdorf was coming down on, her jump slightly too high meaning she lost control. Time slowed to an almost stop as Leah froze sat in front of the TV, watching as Oberdorfs midsection completely landed on top of your left shoulder, she almost felt her heart stop as she saw your left leg brace, watching as it popped out from the force of Oberdorfs head hitting your thigh, causing you to completely crumple onto the ground. Thankfully the players around reacted quick enough to grab onto Oberdorf and flip her, otherwise your injury wouldn’t have been the worst, and something unimaginable could’ve happened. She saw your body jolt as you were turned onto your back, the look on your face along with the scream you let out indicating your hip most likely popped back into place. The full weight of it all occurred seconds later when a phone was brought onto the pitch and steph did something on it, Leah’s phone started to ring.
“Leah, she,” Steph breathed out not knowing what to say
“I know. I saw. Can I talk to her?” Leah asked before hearing some shuffling from the other end, watching Steph crouch down next to you on the TV.
“Le-ah,” your voice came across the phone, it was full of pain and fear, Leah was honestly surprised you hadn’t passed out from the pain yet, but maybe you were running on adrenaline or shook, all she was certain about was that she needed to be there for you, in one way or another.
“Hi bug, you’re doing so well, being so brave. They are going to take good care of you, I promise. I love you so so much, and I’ll be there very soon, you’ve got this bug,” she told you before Steph took the phone back to her ear as the medics needed to move you, “we’re coming, our flight is in like an hour, we are actually about to leave now,” she informed her club teammate as she watched her fiance leave the bedroom wheeling a suitcase behind her.
______
You were immediately taken into surgery, where they did x-rays and scans. You woke up a few hours later surrounded by machines, unable to feel your left leg, but your left shoulder and torso ached badly, but quickly you noticed Steph, Sam, Leah, Lia and Alexia all sitting around the white washed sterile room. The people who you looked up to in your life and who inspired you, all in a hospital room, to be there for you, for some it meant taking time out of their teams olympic tournament. Maybe even risking unfair punishment and her mental health for one. For two others it meant getting on a plane last minute, dropping all other plans, including the IVF appointment they had waited a year for, not knowing when the next one would be, willingly letting go of their hope to have kids in the near future for you. In that moment you realised how much you meant to them, never before had the meaning of you to them been so tangible, they meant the universe and more to you, but maybe you meant ever more than that to them.
Leah noticed your eyes open and moved beside your bed, “Hey bug, how are you feeling?” she said ever so softly, and you just blinked groggily at her as she leant in to kiss your forehead mumbling “I love you very much,” before her hands moved to cup your face and her thumbs wiped away the silent tears that had started to fall from your eyes. The others all got up and left not only to find a doctor but give you two a moment of privacy.
“Hi, Y/N, nice to see you awake, I’m Dr NAME and this is Dr NAME, we were the two surgeons who operated on you,” one of the doctors spoke as they walked in, smiling at you, you kind of nodded at them and watched as their gaze turned to Leah before going through your chart, “and you’re Leah,” she nodded at them. “Okay so,” he started talking but you were too tired to listen and zoned out, hearing the words, dislocated, hairline fracture, Iliofemoral and Pubofemoral. You would eventually come to find those are the things that happened to your, during the fall your tore your Iliofemoral and Pubofemoral ligaments, which then meant when Oberdorf’s head hit your thigh it was a lot easier for your hip to dislocate which it did, you had a hairline fracture in your femoral neck but it was unknown which mechanics of the injury caused that, sometimes they would insert a pin but as yours was only small and you were young, they didn’t, it also meant they likelihood of you returning to football was higher, however you still would most likely never return.
You were stuck in Paris until the end of the tournament, the risk of you flying back home versus the ‘risk’ of you staying there were incomparable and so you and your crutches, along with your bandaged hip, sporting the equivalent of a hinged knee brace but for a hip over your leggings, were dragged along to the final match, the first time you had been in the public's eye properly since your injury. You were dreading this match for multiple reasons. It meant you would be in the media’s sight, and you would also have to interact with the people you had been ignoring. But even more it meant you had to watch your teammates and ‘family’ get to do the one thing you had ever dreamt of, the thing that was almost never going to happen now. You stood alongside Sam during the national anthem, wearing an official match jersey, your own name on your back, as a tear rolled down your cheek, which after the anthem Sam wiped away before hugging you tightly. She understood the pain to some extent, however she knew well and truly before the olympics started the team could make it to the final and she would be standing on the sidelines, for you it was different, you should’ve been on that pitch today, if it wasn’t for your injury you would’ve been starting, as the main forward, but that didn;t matter now, you would probably never start for the matildas or any football club/team again, she knew it, the team knew it, the world knew it, you even knew it, you just didn’t want to have to face that reality.
The whistle blew and every single member of the Australian’s on the sidelines got up and sprinted onto the pitch, except you, every single A.O.C football personal was on the pitch celebrating, but you weren’t. You couldn't, you couldn’t get up, but that's not the reason you were not on the pitch, you didn’t want to be, you didn’t deserve to be.
The next second the whole bench shook, Kyra had catapulted herself into the row of seats in front of you, you looked up, her face shiny from sweat, holding the world's biggest grin, “come join us,” you just shook your head, “I can help, I’ll be sensible and careful. Please?” she begged, causing a tear to roll down your cheek, causing her face to quickly drop as she moved to hug you, making you cry more, causing more girls to start to filter over to you, all leaving with dampened moods, all having failed attempts at cheering you up and failing to convince you to join them. All celebrating as they walked across the stage receiving their medals, whilst they lifted the trophy, but the pain in their eyes was evident, you watched Kyra bite her nail nervously as she looked into your direction, you were still sat in you seat, having refused to collect your medal, you played 15 minutes you didn’t deserve it. You burdened the team, Steph spent way too long laying awake in her bed, the moment replaying in her head everytime she closed her eyes. Kyra cried herself to sleep almost every night, she missed you, you might’ve been with them physically but that was it, she knew she would have to go back to Arsenal without you and most likely never play with you again and that hurt her. Macca couldn’t shake the feeling of horror that ran through her body as she heard your scream so loud and clear from the other end of the pitch, she hadn’t even had her hearing aids in and yet it sounded like you were inside her ear. If anything the team had won in spite of you, you had in no way helped them get there, you were the cause for their pain, you didn’t deserve a medal at all.
“Bebita,” Alexia said softly as she bobbed down in front of you, “No,” you harshly snapped at her, “Et mereixes una medalla, les vas aconseguir aquí i vas formar part de l'equip sigui el que passi. (You deserve a medal, you got them here and you were part of the team no matter what),” you just shook your head at her, “Bé, doncs, almenys deixa'm agafar el teu i guardar-lo segur per a tu, per quan el vulguis després. (Well then at least let me take yours and keep it safe for you, for when you want it later.)” you shrugged your shoulders and so she placed your medal around her neck, for you. Before pulling you into a tight hug and not letting go for a very long time. The no you said to Alexia had been the last word you spoke to anyone before flying back under the intense supervision of the medics to England, where Lia and Leah meet you at the airport, taking you home.
______
“What’s wrong?” your sister asked, having put up with your attitude for way too long knowing you needed to break and rather than continuing to walk on eggshells waiting for you to break she decided to do it the hard way, allowing you to use her as a punching bag until you broke.
“What’s wrong, you’re fucking joking right, are you somesort of imbesile,” you sneered at her, “Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact I’ll never fucking play again, my career is over at 18, the rug has literally been swept out from under my feet, and none of it was even my fault, noone even got a fucking red, for ending my career, the ref decided that a career ending injury didn’t equate to a red. I had to watch as my friends my family lived out my dream, my fucking dream, I’m olympian, but am I really, 15 fucking minutes out of a minimum 540 minutes, I’m 2% of an olympian, I suppose that 2% counts though right? It’s not like I helped the team, I made it harder, I don’t deserve a medal but everyone else seems to think otherwise.”
“But you do bug, you were there, you got your team there, you were going to be the best young player of the year,” Leah tried to reason with you.
“Going being the key word there, I was going to win a Balloon d’or, I was going to be in the fifa best 11, I was going to win a golden boot, I was going to be and do so many things, but going is past tense, it’s never going to happen, I’m never going to get any awards ever again.” You shouted at her.
“Where are you going?” Leah asked as she watched you stand up, the room having fallen to silence moments ago.
“Away from you, I-, I-” you shook your head trying to clear your mind, Leah stepped closer to you, knowing your walls were about to crumble.
“What am I meant to do now, Le?” you asked, completely and utterly broken, “What happens now?”
Leah swallowed back her emotions “I don’t know bug, I’m sorry,” you collapsed into her and she picked you up being mindful of your hip, before lying down on the couch, your body on top of hers. You buried your head into her neck as you sobbed, your whole body shook, and all Leah could do was hold you, and try and comfort you and reassure you in a moment where there were no answers, how are you meant to comfort someone and give them reassurance when the doctors don’t even know. How are you meant to tell someone it's going to be okay when the only way to know what will happen is for them to go through an excruciating rehab process only to then very likely be told they could never play again.
____________________________________________________________
You were cleared to fly long distances 3 months after your surgery, 2 months since you returned, so that’s what you did. You flew to Australia, bought an apartment and started a new life essentially, one that not everyone knew your past in intricate detail, however being a Matilda most people knew who you were but it was different.
Charlie got Lachlan to keep an eye on you and so you did things with his friends and sometimes even his team. You found yourself getting closer to one of his friends in particular, he always made sure you weren't left behind because they were walking too fast, he was ‘coincidentally’ at the same rehab gym you went to when you first put weight on your leg still relying on your crutches heavily, he celebrated for you but quite, not to make you uncomfortable, he offered to drive you to your appointment the one where you were allowed to use only one crutch, he celebrated for you then too, a bit more openly but not nearly as enthusiastic as he would’ve liked. You invited him to the appointment where you would start walking without any assistance, he celebrated quite loudly for you that day, insisting he needed to take you out for dinner, you accepted it, hoping it would lead to something more, and it did. You quickly found yourself spending more time at his house than yours, more of your belongings there than you had at your own home. He was honestly perfect, and for whatever reason you had this feeling that a shoe would drop any second.
— FLASHBACK —
One night he woke up to you crying in your sleep, sitting up slightly he noticed there was blood on the sheets underneath you. Shaking you softly, he woke you up, before quietly saying “Baby, I think you’ve come on.”
“Shit,” you sighed out before curling into a tighter ball, “Why don’t you go have a shower and I’ll change the sheets,” He offered as he kissed your shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, rolling over to your back, “why?”, “because I’ve bleed all over the sheets, sorry,” “Baby, it's just a little blood, it’s okay, don’t worry,” you nodded before getting up and hobbling to the bathroom.
“Hey, babe you okay?” he asked as he approached the bathroom door, having finished changing the sheets, you didn’t reply to him, but he heard the muffled sounds of you crying, “I’m coming in okay,” he told you before softly opening the door, seeing you on the floor, your legs curled underneath you, as you sobbed, he bobbed down next to you, placing a hand on your back, “Do I need to take you to the hospital? I don’t think this is normal,” you shook your head as you reached to grab his hand as another wave of pain washed over you, taking a deep breath you fought off the nausea before blurting out “endometriosis,” hoping he could make conclusions from that.
“Do you need your tablets or something?” he asked and you looked at him confused. How did he know?
“My sister's girlfriend has it, I don’t know much about it but I know some things. Are your tablets in the drawer in the kitchen with the tape and stuff, are they the things in the arsenal pouch?” He asked and you nodded, being in too much pain to talk. He quickly left and returned, with your tablets, some water and heat packs.
“Not blue box,” you told him and he nodded before popping out some of the other tablets as per the labels and handing them to you.
“Do you want me to hold you?” he asked as a tear rolled down your cheek, “But-” you tried to protest weakly.
“I honestly don't care. I just want to help, I want you to feel better,” you nodded shyly at him and he picked you up placing you in his lap as he handed you a heat pack, you curled up and hid your head in his chest, falling asleep eventually.
— END FLASHBACK —
You met up with some of the Matildas’ for coffee during one of their camps, and he and Lachlan came, him on the basis he was Lachlan’s friend.
“How long?” Steph asked as she walked alongside you, both slightly behind the others.
“What?” “You know what I mean, how long?” “I don’t know, it started as friends and then the lines blurred and then somewhere along the way he asked me to be his girlfriend,” she hummed in response, “Have you told Leah?” “What do you think,” you asked her before Harper ran up to you.
Later that night you were lying in bed next to him, head resting on his shoulder as his finger drew soft circles on your hip, over your leggings, when your phone buzzed.
Steph: You need to tell Leah. I know you don’t want to, but just think about it this way, at least you won't be telling her in person. But no, I seriously think telling her sooner rather than later would be better.
You sighed after reading her message dropping your phone on the mattress next to you, you dreaded telling your sister, especially when you already barely spoke.
“What’s wrong,” he asked as you rolled on top of him, letting out a heavy breath.
“Steph figured us out and is insisting I tell Leah,” “Oh, why don’t you want to tell Leah?” “Do you want to tell your brother?” “Shit no,” “Exactly,” there is a pause, “but I do need to tell Leah, especially if I am going to go back when you go on holidays,”
“You can stay here, you know that right?”
“No, I have to go back. Barça wants to announce my departure officially anyway. I don’t have a choice,” you sighed out, “what if I messaged and then just threw my phone out”
“You know you can’t do that,” he chuckled softly, causing you to groan as you rolled off him.
“I don’t want to have to face them all, I ran away, they probably want nothing to do with me anymore anyway,”
“I don’t know if that’s true, Steph and Kyra were so happy and excited to see you today, so was the rest of the team but especially them.” he said and you nodded before he spoke again, “Well I don’t know about Charli, she was too busy catching up with Lachy to even notice you were there I think,” you laughed at his comment, you turned the TV onto the Arsenal match which was about to start as the pair of you feel into silence.
“Would you ever want kids?” he asked you out of the blue.
“Um, yeah, most likely, especially now it won’t be interrupting my career,” you tried to joke, “why?” “Oh, just curious, you were just really good with Harper and her little brother today, and I don’t know why but that thought came up. Also, doesn't Steph have a kid?”
“Yeah, he stayed in London with Dean for this camp,” he just nodded as your attention both went back to the game.
____________________________________________________________
“What do you want for lunch?” Leah asked as you sat down in one of the kitchen stools as Leah and Lia walked into the kitchen. Leah had picked you up from the airport but as Harry was actually on holiday with his friends you went your separate ways, however you had a lunch planned for tomorrow with him, you, Leah and Lia.
“Not eggs,” Lia injected before you could answer, you were confused about her answer but just nodded anyway.
“Um, I don’t really care, I’m not that hungry anyway,”
They decided on Ham Sandwiches for lunch and as you ate you caught up with them, before ending up on the couch watching TV with them, they were still talking however you had fallen more silent, leaning into Leah’s side for a hug, “You okay? You’ve just gone a bit quiet and look a bit pale,” Leah asked looking down at you.
“Mmm, I’m just a bit tired,” you admitted.
“Why don’t you go up to sleep, we have no plans until tomorrow.” you nodded before moving to go upstairs.
______
“Bug you okay?” Leah asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed, brushing her hand over your face causing you to stir slightly.
“Mmmm, sorry do you want me to go?” you mumbled half asleep.
“No, it’s okay, you can stay in here, just wanted to check you were okay,” you nodded slightly before letting out a rather chesty cough, “you sure about being okay?” you just groaned at her before rolling over, feeling her slip in behind you and pull you in for a hug, it felt just like old times.
“What are you doing in here?” Leah asked as she entered the bathroom, obviously just waking up from her midday nap.
“I feel like I’m going to be sick,” you informed her.
“Oh, scoot forward,” she instructed you and you moved away from the wall. She sat behind you before pulling you onto her lap, you collapsed back into her, resting your head on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” you said breaking the silence as you turned your head on her shoulder so you could look at her, “I should’ve told you, you did some much for me, you were there for me my whole life and then I just up left, no warning, nothing, and then I basically ghosted you,”
“It’s okay,” she told you
“But it wasn’t, I even told you about Harry over text, the first thing I told you in months after not even telling you I could walk without crutches was that I had a-” “Boyfriend,” “Well yeah,”
“I understand, and I understood, it was hard, don’t get that wrong, but it isn’t the only time one of us has just upped and left, I think you’d remember how once I got my professional contract and I had to move, I didn’t tell you, I couldn’t bare to see your sad little face when I told you, so I just left, at least you had a reason, I didn’t have one at all, and you technically had two reasons, the injury and payback,”
“I forgot about that, but thank you for reminding me, I will use it if Mum or Dad get angry at me,”
“Please don’t, but I do understand. You did it for you, you needed to find yourself, figure out who you were without football, which meant you needed to be separated from everything that reminded you of what was once, of what you loved and still love, and that included us, and it;s okay. I was never angry, I just really missed you, you’re still my baby sister, and no matter what happens you will still be the most important person in my life.”
“Oh,” you felt your gut sink at her confession, suddenly the feeling of being sick became very real, “I’m sorry,” you replied quietly as you moved your head back flat against her shoulder, staring at the ceiling. You felt your mouth fill with saliva and closed your eyes taking some deep breaths.
“Should we cancel lunch tomorrow?” Leah asked as you continued to take deep breaths knowing why you were.
“No,” you said as you shook your head, the nausea having finally passed, “I’ll be fine, I just need to sleep more,”
“Okay, also Lia has an appointment with the medics tomorrow just so they can do some checks and stuff, it's before lunch but you’ll probably have to come and just hang out at the club because otherwise we might be late to lunch,” you nodded your head before you felt yourself dozing off.
____
“Hey, how are you?” Aaron asked as he walked into the gym followed by Declan, you had decided to do some of your rehab exercises while you waited for Lia and Leah.
“Yeah, pretty good. You?” You replied kindly
“Alright, know much about your prospects yet?” he asked, referring to your hip, you froze, not knowing what to say.
“Um, not yet, still another month until I find out,” you lied, you had already been told, but you weren’t ready to tell anyone else yet.
As you continued with your exercises, you couldn’t help but notice your heart rate get faster and your chest get tighter as time passed. When you felt yourself slightly shaking you slipped out of the gym, sliding down the wall in the hallway, your actions didn’t go unnoticed by declan who quickly followed you out but walked past you down to the medics office. He returned following behind Leah, who bobbed down next to you before looking up at him.
“Please don’t tell anyone about what we were speaking about in there,” she asked him
“Of course I wouldn’t Leah, it’s your own personal information, I’m sorry for interrupting, it’s just that,” he gestured towards you, “and if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”
“No thank you,” she said before shifting her focus to you.
“Hey, what's going on? You okay? Do you feel sick?” she asked in a soft, concerned voice, you couldn’t manage to speak so you just shook your head, “Take some deep breaths, you’re okay, it’s okay, nothing happened, you’re safe.”
“I can’t play,” you managed to get out after some deep breaths, the words almost immediately lifting a weight of your chest, “I’m never going to play again, I can’t,” you told her before breaking down into tears.
“Oh Bug, I’m so sorry,” she said as she pulled you in for a tight hug.
“How much longer are we here for?” you asked as you pulled away, having calmed down slightly.
“Probably ten more minutes. Have you thought about what you’re going to do?”
“A little, once I was out long term the offers started to come out anyway but I haven’t really considered them. I’m thinking of coaching though, I just can’t decide,” Leah hummed in response to you, and you sat in silence, just embracing her presence until Lia came out.
____________________________________________________________
After you spoke with Leah and Lia about not playing it was decided you needed to ask someone who wasn’t affected by your choice in any way. So you decided on going to Barcelona at the same time as Harry, for different reasons though. Hoping Alexia could help and give you some guidance.
So that’s how you found yourself sat in your seat on the plane as it sat on the tarmac waiting to disembark, your right knee bounced up and down uncontrollably as you nervously looked up and down the aisle. When you felt a hand placed on your knee, you jumped slightly before relaxing into the touch slightly, “It’s going to be okay, stop worrying, from what you’ve told me they will only care that you are okay and safe, they might be slightly annoyed but they’ll understand.” You nodded whilst stilling looking around, “and remember you can call me at anytime and I can come to you at anytime you want me to, the boys won't mind, they might just make a condition that they have to meet the team if that occurs,” you both let out a light laugh at that.
As you walked out of customs his hand slipped into yours, and you dropped your head onto his shoulder, causing him to kiss your temple. Just ahead you saw Lucy, who had raised her eyebrows, ignoring her you turned to him and hugged him. “I’m going to miss you so much,” you mumbled into his neck, “Same, but remember you can call whenever you need and I’ll call every night,” you nodded before you pulled your head out of his neck and your lips connected, your legs lifting to wrap around his waist as he wrapped his arms around yours.
“All right you two, stop sucking face, we need to go,” Lucy said interrupting you.
You huffed at her and she gave you the same look she would give you when you huffed at her for not getting you second ice cream when you were younger at England camps.
“Didn’t take you as someone who would be into PDAs Mini Leah,” Lucy teased you knowing the nickname would set you off.
“Well Lucy, when you’re in love, those things don’t matter,” you replied to her dramatically as you followed her out of the airport.
____
Its safe to say walking into the place you called home two years ago was emotional, and as you stood there waiting for Lucy to get everything she needed out of the car, Alexia and Mapi walked by, however Mapi halted, she was stopped in her tracks, as she was behind alexia who hadn't noticed you, and kept walking.
“Ale, Alexia,” Mapi stood there calling for her, “Alexia” she shouted,
“Què (what)”, Mapi couldn’t do anything other than gesture to you with her head, Alexia came running back down the hall and froze when she saw you.
“What’s wrong with them?” Lucy asked as she finally walked through the doors.
They stuttered, not being able to get words out, Lucy just ignored them and pulled you along behind her, to the pitch, where everyone was celebrating. Making your way over to where Ingrid, Frido and Ona stood, all giving you a hug, before a small girl came running up to you, “opp, Klem,” she said whilst she made grabby hands at you, she was Ingrid and Mapi’s daughter.
“I’m sorry, I can’t pick you up because I have an ouchie hip,” you said as you looked at her softly before looking back up at your old teammates, who all gave you sorry looks.
“Please don’t do that, that’s not why I came,” you sighed out before walking over to where Olga was standing by herself.
“Hi,” she said as she smiled and hugged you, you caught Alexia looking at you with a concerned look from the corner of her eye, Lucy and Kiera were talking to her and Mapi, most likely about how you didn’t want to be treated differently etc.
“Hi, is she mad?” you asked Olga, stepping away from the hug slightly.
“What?” “That I didn’t come to the wedding?” “A little upset Si, but not mad, more concerned, but we understood.” you nodded at her “it did take a week to calm her down after she found out you left England, she wasn’t mad though, more scared of whether you were safe or not,” you nodded weakly as you bit your bottom lip.
“Bebita,” Alexia said as she came up to you hugging you, before standing between you and Olga, almost the whole team following behind, creating a circle as they all started talking, it felt just like old times, like no time had passed, but it had almost been two years, you were struggling to follow the conversation like you used to, having not used your spanish in so long, everything was bringing back old times, old memories, memories you wished you could keep living, but this chapter of your life was over now, you moved to stand in front of Alexia and hug her, she wraps her arms around you whilst continuing her conversations, your shoulders started to shake softly as you started to cry and everyone looked at her concerned however she shook her head, indicating for them to continue and ignore it. After a while you seemed to have managed to calm down and you pulled away from Allexia slightly, she cupped your face in her hands, “Whatever happens, it's going to be okay.” you gave her a weak nod before moving to stand next to her.
“We are going for dinner at Ingrid and Mapi’s tonight, most of the team will be there and I think Harder and Erikson are coming too, you can come if you want.” Alexia said as you entered the ever so familiar house.
“Um, okay,” you said as you placed your phone on the table and went to grab a drink from the fridge before hearing your phone ring, Alexia caught a glimpse of the screen as she handed it to you. She knew exactly who it was from the look on your phone, not who the person was but who they were to you.
“Don’t tell anyone please, not many know yet,” she nodded, “do I get to meet this boy?”
“Alexia,” Olga called out sternly from the living room, clearly she still was in charge, something that hadn’t changed.
“Maybe, I think his friends and him are going to the game this weekend,” you said before you answered the phone and retreated to the spare room noticing how it was still your room and not a spare room at all.
____
You were sitting on the floor with Hailee, having been dragged away from your conversation with Mapi, Ingrid, Alexia and Olga by the small girl into her playroom. Not that you really minded though.
“They’ve told you you can’t play again haven’t they,” you were startled slightly by the unfamiliar voice, looking up to see Madga leaning on the door frame.
“How did you know?”
“I don’t know, I just could tell, maybe because I only knew you as football, where as they knew you as football and you, so they can’t see it. Does anyone know?”
“Yeah, Lia and Leah, and someone else, and now also you supposedly,” you flatly replied.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” you looked at her blankly, “I’ll take that as nothing, what if you came over to Frido’s while the team is at training and Pernille and I help you decide, we have no connection, it could help,”
“Bayern don’t need a new coach?” she shook her head, and you just nodded slightly, “okay so it’s settled then,” she said before turning around, “Frido, do you have a big whiteboard at home? If no, we need to buy one before tomorrow morning,” you heard her yell out as she walked away.
____________________________________________________________
Having made your decision with the help of Magda and Pernille you returned to England with Harry. To tell Arsenal, after it was official, just not yet announced, you went for lunch with Leah, Lia and Harry to tell them all, Lia and Leah took it well however Harry jumped out of his seat saying he needed to be somewhere, and since he wouldn’t return your calls, so you had no clue if you would see him or not, maybe he was leaving you.
“Turn around,” Steph said as she saw Harry running to the facility doors where you were waiting for Lia and Leah to get out of the car, having a chat with Steph.
“Will you move in with me?” He blurted out, slightly puffed as he reached you.
“What?” You questioned not understanding what he meant.
“I didn’t answer your call, or your message or your subsequent calls because I was doing something, for you, for me, for us. Remember how I played Rugby Union in high school,” you nodded, “well, I wasn’t ignoring you because I was mad you took the job, I wasn’t ignoring you at all, I was trialling for a rugby club, so we could be together, I love you too much and you mean too much for me to go back halfway across the world from you. They offered me a contract, it isn’t the greatest, but it will do, anything that means I can stay with you is perfect,” tears started to fall from your eyes, “I’m sorry,” he said slightly panicking, questioning if he said something wrong.
“No, no,” you said as you shook your head, wrapping your arms around his neck and picking your legs up “Thank you,” you mumbled into his ear before placing your head on his shoulder, not believing it.
“I’m assuming it worked?” Leah asked as she walked towards the three of you, he nodded in her direction as you let go, “ready to do this?” your sister asked as she looked at you and you nodded, starting to feel nervous agin.
____
“I’m coming back to Arsenal,” you told everyone as you stood in front of them, Harry standing on the sides, Jonas inisting he come in considering he was there already, they all cheered slightly before you interrupted them, “but not in the way you probably all want, I’m going to be part of the staff, the coaching team, I-,” your voice cracked, as you took a shaky breath “I won’t-, I-I can’t ever play again. I will never be able to play again, it’s uncertain whether I will be able to run without pain, let alone play,” you sniffed, you felt panic rise within you, “I’m sorry,” you said quietly before walking out the door tears streaming down your face, trying to ignore the looks of sorry, disappointment or confusion. Leah’s immediate reaction was to stand up and go to you, but Lia tugged her arm forcing her back down in her chair, gesturing to the figure that was rushing out the door after you.
-
“I’m sorry, I-'' you blubbered out as someone came towards you, “Hey, none of that, baby none of this is your fault, and you literally have nothing to apologise about,” he said as he stood in front of you, you immediately fell into him at the sound of his voice and felt his strong arms hold you tight as you buried your head in his neck, he started swaying you and gave you a small kiss on the side of your head every now and then, trying to calm you down, knowing that was probably one of the hardest things you had to say, he knew you always wanted to finish your career at Arsenal, and now that was never going to happen, at least in the way you wanted, you would never be a Matilda again, you would never walk out onto a football pitch in the same way again, your goals were changing and you were struggling with that. He knew that, no matter how much you tried to hide your feelings.
The door creaked as it opened and Harry looked over to it, seeing Steph walk out, who handed him a water bottle as she gave him a soft smile before walking back into the room. He continued to sway you both slightly, keeping one hand around you as he took a quick sip from the bottle.
“Baby, do you want some water?” you nodded, taking the bottle of him and drinking out of it.
-
Leah was still inside crying into Lia’s shoulder, most people had left the room now giving everyone a bit of space. “Do you want to go home? Is this about what just happened or this morning?”
“All of it. It’s stupid, I just feel like I’m losing her now too, and it’s dumb, she was never mine in the first place but-” Leah confessed, before getting cut off by Lia.
“It’s not stupid Le, we have a lot of things happening in our life, a lot of news, and not a lot of time to process it all, it’s hard, and I know you feel like you have to be strong for her, for me, for us but you don’t, it’s okay,” Lia tried to reassure her.
“I shouldn’t be upset, I mean you're the one going through it all, and here I am complaining about my life.” Leah hiccuped.
“Hey, I might be the only one going through it physically but mentally we are both going through it, and you have more on your mind then I do, I understand, you don’t have to apologise for being upset, no matter if I’m experiencing worse, we are a team forever and always no matter what happens, no matter whether we have an addition to our team or not.” Leah nodded before pulling away from her and standing up noticing you had come back inside.
She pulled you towards you and wrapped you in a much needed hug, you didn’t want to let go, and neither did she.
____________________________________________________________
2028 Olympic Games
As the final whistle blew your players immediately ran over to you and your staff, celebrating as a team.
Commentator One: And they’ve done it, the Matildas have won the Olympics for the second time in a row.
Commentator two: Y/N Williamson has led the Matildas to victory after a drought, a much needed piece of silverware for the team that was starting to lose the country's hope.
It was a risky decision for Football Australia to choose you as new head coach, even you knew it, especially as you would only be joining the team in person at camp three weeks before the Olympics started, due to circumstances, but you started work much earlier than that, much to everyone's disbelief. You were however quickly ushered away from your team for a post match interview, causing you to catch sight of your sister who has collapsed onto the floor in tears. Taking a mental note to go over and comfort her later.
“Do you want to go see your Auntie?” You said to the two small people who clutched onto your hands as you walked onto the pitch.
“We-ah,” “we see Weah,” they piped up at the mention of her and you let go of their hands, “go on then,” you watched as they ran over to her, smiles bright, not knowing the meaning of the moment that just happened, them being so happy just to see their Aunt.
“Alessia, hand the baby over,” you said to her as she held the newest addition to the Williamson family.
“Do you want to go say hi to your Mummy?” you asked the 3 month old as you placed her against your chest.
Leah’s face softened even more as she watched you approach her with her daughter, “you know, I’m never going to be able to thank you enough or repay you for this,” she said as you passed Lilly over to her, “but maybe you taking the gold away from me, means I don’t have to.”
“I told you, it’s nothing, honestly, you don’t have to repay me, buuut…..” you dragged on, she raised an eyebrow, “can you take the boys tonight, I have some celebrating to do,” you told her as she rolled her eyes.
“You literally carried our baby for us, I do owe you, and yes of course I’ll take the boys tonight, I need some quality time with them before they leave me for Australia,” she replied.
“It’s only two weeks, it's just a short camp, and it’s time we went on one of Daddy’s camps and meet all their uncles, but they honestly think they are meeting Kangaroos, they don’t quite understand that Wallabies is just the name of the team” she laughed at your comment before pulling you in for a hug. It sounds cliche but you knew in that moment your life had turned out perfect, it is nowhere near what you imagined but you honestly couldn’t have asked for anything better.
#woso#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader#arsenal wfc#awfc#awfc x reader#barcelona femeni#barca femeni#barca femeni x reader#matildas x reader#auswnt#leah williamson x reader#lionesses
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Hoyo‘s Doctors when you’re hurt mentally 🌊
Synopsis: Either an event (or maybe a mental illness) happened that made you mentally down, so you stand in their doorframe with a look on your face that tells, at least some of them, everything. But what would they do?
Characters: Baizhu, Dr. Ratio, Il Dottore
A.N.:Oh yeah something happened, I feel it, I need it too.
🌊~_~🌊 ~_~ 🌊 ~_~ 🌊 ~_~ 🌊 ~_~ 🌊 ~_~ 🌊 ~_~ 🌊
Baizhu:🐍
He would see you coming and already know something has come up. No matter if you try to hide it or not. No matter if you only make subtle hints or just stand there like a shell, he will pick up on it. If the latter is the case and you’re just standing there being close to crying, he would say nothing at first, only approach you and pull you into a hug.
If you need to cry he is going to cry in his embrace as long as you want but he’s going to get you to take a seat with him on a sofa so you can calm down more easily. Once you’re calmed down enough he will try to ask you what happened, but if you’re not ready or simply don’t want to talk about it at the given moment he is going to accept it for now and wait until you are ready to tell him.
If he knows anything to make you feel better he is going to provide it for you to the best of his abilities. Like if you decide on wanting to talk about what happened and he knows you have a special dish that makes you feel better, you two can go to the kitchen where can listen to you and cook at the same time.
Dr. Ratio:🎓
He is going to try to get out of you what happened no matter the cost except if he after 10 minutes realizes you really don’t want to talk about it at the given moment. Because if you didn’t want to tell him, that man would feel helpless. How is he supposed to fix the problem if you don’t tell him what it is?
If you do tell him though there is not a guarantee after all, that he could fix it. But with that you have to be careful with this man because if you intend to tell him, then also shoot him with the ‚I only want you to listen and be there for me‘ first (except if you really want the possible solution/s). He is simply that type of guy, he needs you to be direct. Otherwise he will shoot you with what you did/are doing wrong to be in the situation.
If he knows his job is to listen though, he will sit/lay down with you and listen to you, meanwhile hug you or stroke your hair, whatever calms you down. In the end though he would probably already get red like he forgot how to breathe from having to hold back on presenting a solution to you. So if you feel better then, you might find it amusing enough to grant him the possibility to tell you how to go on.
Il Dottore:🧪
Man is honestly not sure what to do. Like the one that would ‚offer you to eat you if you’re sad‘ because he is simply like ‚what do you want me to do‘.
If you told him to just listen to you he would give in though under the condition of if you two could talk while he works in his lab. And to the contrary to what you two had guessed, he is better than both of you would have initially thought. If you rant about something he is going to occasionally tune in and tell his dismay about the situation too. If you’re sad then he is going to gaslight the others in your story on being at fault and after some time he even stops working all together to simply listen to you and shake his head with you about the situations you’re in that make you feel bad.
If you didn’t tell him though he wouldn’t be the kind to go after you. He would simply let you be and wait for you to come to him if you decided on telling him then.
#genshin impact#baizhu#baizhu x reader#dr ratio#dr veritas ratio#honkai star rail#love#dottore#dr. ratio x reader#fatui dottore
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One of my few disappointments about Bad Batch season 3 when first watching it was how Tech's death and the aftermath is handled - namely, that his death doesn't seem to really have much impact on his family (besides creating some inconvenience when it comes to decryption). I couldn't help but think that if the season had included even just one moment of the squad (more specifically the brothers, not just Omega) actually honoring Tech, it would have not only helped drive home once and for all how important Tech was to them, but also provided some desperately needed closure and catharsis for this clone family that had already suffered so much (and, incidentally, provided some closure for the audience, too). This is especially important considering that the Batch's actions in season 3, especially at the beginning, are likely informed by Omega's capture as much as by Tech's death - and while Omega's rescue should be of utmost importance, it ends up seeming to sideline Tech's sacrifice in the narrative.
After rewatching, my view has shifted slightly, though I still firmly believe the show should have included at least one scene - even if it was at the end of the finale - of the brothers acknowledging Tech's influence and honoring him.
- Echo's story is the least impacted by Tech's death: he wanted to stay in the fight before Tech died, and he did so afterwards. He looks sadly at the empty pilot seat in "Plan 99," and he name drops Tech once in season 3. I can understand Echo having this reaction, though: unlike the other Bad Batch members, he has lost brothers before and therefore likely knows how to adjust more quickly. (You know what would have provided a nice contrast between how Echo and the rest of the squad handles the death? A moment to honor Tech: for example, a scene at any point in season 3 where Echo mentions a memory of him.)
- Hunter's decision to finally retire on Pabu comes before Omega is captured, and therefore must have been determined primarily by the loss of Tech. All through seasons 1 and 2, Hunter's desire to keep his squad and Omega safe eventually evolved to wanting to give Omega a childhood away from fighting and war, but even then he still hedged on settling down permanently on Pabu (see: the discussion between Hunter and Shep in "Turning Point"). It wasn't until after losing Tech that Hunter abruptly made the decision that it was time to stop being soldiers... And given that we never see Hunter actually interact with Tech's goggles in season 3 or mention him by name even once, I'm not convinced Hunter ever really got over the loss of his brother, even as he (very in character for him) focused on more pressing matters by (often recklessly) charging onward to ensure Omega's safety. (You know what would have tied off this plot thread nicely? A moment to honor Tech: for example, a brief scene at the end of the show where Hunter acknowledges that Tech's sacrifice made their life on Pabu possible.)
- Wrecker cries over Tech in the season 2 finale, alludes to him twice and mentions him by name once; and honestly, as little as this is, it is enough to convince me that Wrecker is and always will be grieved by Tech's death but has emotionally processed it and come to terms with it, much like Echo. His development seems to be driven more by being the last man standing between Hunter and a reckless demise, rather than being driven by the loss of Tech specifically, but... nuance. (You know what would have given us a point of comparison regarding how different people process loss in different ways? A moment to honor Tech: for example, maybe Wrecker joins Omega in honoring Tech at the impromptu memorial and insists on his other brothers joining them.)
- Crosshair's redemption in season 3 is largely driven by Omega. Looking back on season 3, I am increasingly convinced that Crosshair felt immense guilt and blamed himself for Tech's death, and therefore he avoided the subject. His "let me go on a suicide mission because I deserve it" speech in the finale only confirms my opinion on this. I guess Crosshair being partially driven by guilt over Tech's loss is one way of showing Tech's impact on his family, but I don't find it a satisfying note to end the show on. (You know what would have concluded this plot point perfectly? ... You already know what I'm going to say.)
#tech shouldn't have been killed off at all#all of them should have survived to the end of the finale#but if star wars is going to kill off a main character midway through a show i do recommend taking notes on how kanan's death was handled#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#tbb spoilers#tbb season 3#clone force 99#tbb tech#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb echo
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Actually, “Feenie” Makes Perfect Sense as a Backstory for Phoenix (+ 3-1 Initial Thoughts)
I've decided to start a series where I record my thoughts and analysis as I play through the Ace Attorney games for the first time. I'll try to post these as soon as I finish a case so that my thoughts are fresh.
Phoenix Wright/"Feenie"
I've noticed critiques in this fandom that "Feenie" from Turnabout Memories is too different from Phoenix in the trilogy or that the backstory is poorly inserted. But, honestly I disagree. It's easy to treat Phoenix and Feenie as different people because of their different outfits and mannerisms, but I think the characterization is consistent (despite "Feenie" being exaggerated sometimes for comedic effect).
I've seen the fandom portray "Feenie" as a sweet pushover. But if anything, his belief is extremely stubborn and strong-willed. Phoenix believed in true love and fate which was why he accepts that necklace in the first place. He also never relents to Dahlia (or should I say Iris) when she asks for the necklace back.
He’s only able to be used and manipulated by Dahlia because his own goals and beliefs aligned with the facade she presented to him.
Phoenix literally shoves a guy so hard that he fell onto his back because he badmouthed Dahlia. I think one constant of Phoenix's character is that he cares too deeply and is protective over the people he loves.
There's also the part where Phoenix mocks Doug for being British? or wearing the British flag (I didn’t take a screenshot of it). “Feenie” is just as sassy and judgmental as Phoenix is. He might be a lot more naive and immature but he's still Phoenix.
Oh Phoenix... back when you believed in people saving you... before you bottled up your problems and refused to let anyone help you...
To be fair he is the defendant here but still. He doesn't ask for support after Edgeworth disappears, he doesn't ask for help at first when Maya is kidnapped.
I think, unfortunately, this incident with Dahlia is what kickstarted a lot of his trust and abandonment issues. His overwhelmingly strong belief and trust in Dahlia backfired in the worst way possible. It’s not a stretch that this made him too terrified of betrayal to open up to anyone in the trilogy.
So I know this is for comedic effect, but it’s also really good proof that Phoenix heavily idealizes the people he gets super attached to.
(Coughs in Edgeworth and Justice for All)
… I mean he’s not wrong! But he’s also being delusional
This is one of the first things Phoenix says after finding out he was betrayed. He doesn't spend much time acknowledging his feelings of hurt. He just goes into denial.
(COUGHS IN EDGEWORTH AND JUSTICE FOR ALL)
This is just further proof for me that Phoenix’s coping mechanisms are suppression and delusion.
And then Phoenix immediately he moves on to saving Edgeworth! He just shoves all that trauma aside to fixate on saving someone else... to cope by giving himself more control. Phoenix's savior complex stems from abandonment issues.
This trial doesn't give Phoenix the idea to save Edgeworth, it solidifies it.
After being reminded by Mia of his belief that a defense attorney saves people, Phoenix firmly sets himself on this path.
There it is. Phoenix says it himself... he suppressed these memories. That's why he never brought it up in the last two games. I know the real reason is because the creators didn’t plan it, but it also makes sense narratively.
I mean, Phoenix hides the class trial story until Turnabout Goodbyes. This man does not like to talk about his problems or trauma.
Mia Fey
Damn Mia is so brutal. Is this where Phoenix gets his sass from?
Mia is also not how I expected her to be. I mean whenever she gets channeled to help Phoenix out, she's in the role of the wise mentor. But here? She's a nervous wreck, cynical of romance, and full of trust issues.
Speaking of trust issues... I unfortunately did not take a screenshot of this but as soon as Mia finds out Phoenix has lying to her, she reacts very strongly with distrust. She also has to convince herself multiple times to trust in him again. Believing in people or trusting them doesn't seem to come easy to Mia. Which is super interesting because her advice is to always believe in your client. Maybe Mia eventually got used to trusting her clients but... she also never tells Phoenix about her investigation in Redd White. I don't think Mia is as trusting as she presents herself as.
Final Thoughts...
Turnabout Memories is my favorite first case so far :) Lots of good character moments for Phoenix and Mia. I also wish I had more to say about Dahlia but I think I'll save my thoughts on her for my 3-4 post.
#ace attorney#aa3#trials and tribulations#turnabout memories#phoenix wright#mia fey#dahlia hawthorne#jen's ace attorney play through
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what are your thoughts on pennywhistle, most specifically in classical branch au? i need them to be best friends
So I'm not sure if you've seen the gameplay of Trolls Remix Rescue...
But Pennywhistle is kinda savage? She forced Barb to apologize for the world tour to her personally (as she's the one who had to rebuild) in exchange for information.
"I trust you, Queen Poppy. If you're looking for that anti-classical suave scoundrel, then I can help! But I have a hard time remembering what happened. Maybe if Barb apologized…"
"Fine. I'm sorry."
"My windway must be failing. What was that again?"
Not only does she sass Barb into getting her own personal apology (as Barb canonically did an apology tour), while she properly addressed Poppy as 'Queen Poppy', she only called Barb her name.
Pennywhistle might look and sound cute, she's pretty feisty. She's not afraid to call people out and honestly is in my list of 'Trolls characters who could say 'fuck' on screen and I wouldn't be surprised'.
Pennywhistle would 100% call BroZone out.
So after checking her wiki again, as it turns out Pennywhistle isn't actually from Symphonyville! I don't know how I missed this but apparently they made her a whole backstory of how she was a wayward traveler adopted by Symphonyville, as Pennywhistle isn't a woodwind and thus wouldn't be in a traditional orchestra. (Although she refers to herself as a woodwind in the movie so... trans icon?)
With that in mind, Classical Branch's story is changing a bit. Pennywhistle stumbled on Branch and the Pop Trolls in her travels. She had plans to look for her perfect home, which she eventually determined would most likely be the Classical Trolls home.
She explained to Branch her story and he listened to her for about two seconds before going 'yeah okay you wanna play music. Well here you go.' and shoved her towards Poppy. She was happy for a bit with Pop Trolls, though they were a bit much for her at times, but she couldn't stop following Branch around like a lost puppy.
After seeing enough of how he was treated, she decided Pop wasn't for her and she went to tell Branch she was leaving. Branch was a bit stunned that anyone else would look at Pop Trolls and go 'yeah they're too much'. Pennywhistle wanted Branch to come with her because she figured he might like it there more, and she eventually got him to go by going "I'm just a poor woodwind, I'll get lost or eaten by a- what are they called?" "Bergen?" "By a bergen! I need someone who's a survival expert!"
With a little manipulation, Pennywhistle and Branch set off in a hot air balloon for Symphonyville.
"Look at this, Branch! In a short 456 pages, you'll know how to fly this thing!"
Pennywhistle sticks to Branch and becomes a bit like if you crossed Mr. Dinkles with Tiny Diamond. She's not a pet but she is a companion. Even when Branch hates music, she's with him and doing her best not to make a single whistle. Branch finds it a bit ironic his only friend is a musical instrument.
When he's grown and writing his own symphonies, there's always a place for Pennywhistle.
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More spoilers for EarthSpark.
Okay. Let's talk about the Chaos Terrans.
The Good
Spitfire was the only one of the two I'd seen before watching the new episodes, so I was really worried that all of the Chaos Terrains would just be Dark Versions of the existing cast. It was a relief to meet Aftermath pretty much immediately and realize not all of them are recolors.
Nice of them to explain why the Chaos Terrans were different from the regular ones.
Honestly, the bodyswapping episode might be my favorite of the batch. Which is a bit like choosing the best of the worst, but I honestly kind of like the trope, and I appreciate that it wasn't played for comedy at all. I also really appreciate that they kept the VAs matched with the bodies instead of the characters, because one of my least favorite things about bodyswap stories is when characters keep their own voices. The VAs also did a really good job of playing each other's characters, even if the dialogue itself was painful at times.
Aftermath immediately adopting Spitfire as his sister was cute.
I liked Spitfire initially. She was a bit young to be so apathetic (girl, you've been alive for five minutes, where's your joie de vivre?), but compared to Aftermath just wanting to destroy stuff, it was a relief that not all of the Chaos Terrans were going to be like that.
The Bad
The moment Twitch got chosen to go on a mission, I knew Spitfire was going to be jealous and that was going to define her character from then on. And then she started going on about being superior to Twitch, and yup. Just a standard Dark Version with a superiority complex. Again, you have been alive for five minutes, you shouldn't even have a frame of reference to understand superlatives yet.
On that note, love how the Chaos Terrans just pop into existence and know things instantly. And can scan an altmode and transform within seconds of coming online, while the regular Terrans took days, weeks, or months to even figure out what they wanted to be. Glad we're chucking the worldbuilding in the trash along with the characterization.
Seriously, though, what is it about the Chaos Terrans that makes them just understand everything the moment they come alive? I can accept it from shows like G1 where new bots were built and programmed, but the Terrans are birthed spontaneously and have no knowledge whatsoever. I could kind of overlook how quickly the triplets went from zero to sixty because the plot needed them to catch on fast, but these kids just start at sixty. I hate it when characters with literally two seconds' worth of experience are just instantly able to hold conversations about things they've never even heard of.
Why, exactly, did Spitfire have to scan the drone? Even if she was too heavy for Twitch to carry, Twitch could have just caught her and slowed their fall enough to land safely. They had plenty of time. This entire "I'm you but better" thing was completely avoidable (unless Spitfire chose to scan the drone afterward, but at least then Twitch wouldn't have brought the misery on herself).
How did the cast manage to go a year collecting shards before a Chaos Terran happened? If high velocity and water are all it takes, how did none of the shards land in bodies of water immediately after the Emberstone was originally shattered? How did most of them not end up in the ocean? These things should have done like Lilo and Stitch and spawned aliens everywhere.
The Ugly
Wow. We're really doing the Evil From Birth thing, aren't we. Really doing the "they can't be redeemed because they were born bad" thing, huh. Congratulations, that might be the single most irresponsible message you can put in children's media. Nothing says "some people are born different and that's not okay" like making a pair of literal children irredeemable because of the circumstances of their birth.
I hate the fact that I knew Aftermath was going to die almost as soon as he was born. I mean, the shard was in his spark, there was no way anyone was fixing the Emberstone without removing it somehow. Same with Spitfire. Yeah, let's not only make them evil from birth, let's kill them because of the thing that made them different. Let's doom them from birth to have their organs harvested. Forget the mutated creatures, psychological violations, and all the other horrors going on in EarthSpark, this might be the darkest thing that's happened in this series. Y'know, that and the pair of them being slaughtered onscreen.
What was the point in them even existing. What lasting impact did they leave on the series, apart from being Starscream's moral event horizon. Unless the writing gets way better in the next batch of episodes, no one is going to miss them. No one came away meaningfully changed from having known them. And of course, the Emberstone is dust now, so their deaths didn't even matter ten minutes later. They died for nothing, and I would be surprised if they even come up again outside of condemning Starscream for his actions.
I didn't even like the Chaos Terrans as characters, and I feel so bad for them.
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..... Okay, so in my defense- turtle babies are very cute, ninja turtles are very cool, and I did say I had like, 20 pages. So no one should be surprised.
This time it's a combination of sketches from @alicat54cwriting and @amevello-blue 's Pastel Goths and Sugar Crystals, which are like. AUs of the DEB stories, (which is an AU of TEB, which is an AU of Rise) also featuring characters from TMNT 03.
It honestly might make more sense to read the stories yourself? Which you should do! They're amazing.
#illustration#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanart#tmnt fanart#tmnt 03#one day i will have a stable design i like for the bitties. but today is not that day. it is the day that i settle on a usagi design though#so thats nice.#off i go again. hopefully not annoying anyone. but i finished a sketchbook and was going through it so.#i love Bardi but his design was just. fighting me.
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i want to thank you for talking about the doomery takes about Gon and Killua's separation with the level of patience & respect you do. i think people sometimes believe they parted on worse terms than they really did and it leads to people asking questions like "why would Killua say that to him?" or "why didn't Gon give a 'proper' apology?" with a preconception that the situation is irreparable. theyre intelligent kids who love each other a lot, so these things can feel really mean or insensitive to us because we see it as such a high stakes situation when in actuality, the characters kind of know what's happening already and can intuit each others feelings or intentions to a reasonable degree.
like, ex: Killua calls Gon stuff like an embarrassing moron frequently and Gon sees its because he's emotionally constipated and not because Killua actually thinks he's stupid. conversely, Killua knows that what Gon said to him in the palace came from an irrational place of lashing out at the only safe person in the room, and the reason why he can make fun of Gon later for it is because its clear he regrets it. they understand each other quite a bit and though the separation makes them really sad, i'm sure they both get, on some level, why it has to be like this for a bit
Thank you very much for the sweet message!
I honestly get exhausted by how many doom and gloom takes exist about HxH in general, and especially around Gon and Killua's relationship. I hope that by talking about my own perceptions of the series after spending all these years thinking about it and pulling it apart, more people can come to the side of having hope about it and being excited about what's ahead for them.
What they went through was immensely painful, and it certainly hurt those of us who love their relationship, too, but there are far more reasons to believe they have a path of healing and reconciliation ahead of them than all the angsty alternatives. They may have more to go through first before they reach that point, but in my opinion it would contradict the themes of the series for them not to have a second chance to rebuild their relationship even better.
That's a good bit of insight about them and how their interactions are much more than just what they're literally saying! I totally agree that they're quite perceptive about each other and aware of at least some of each others' feelings below the surface. There are actually several scenes where they explain things about the other with a surprising amount of insight--for instance, when Killua is talking to Wing about Gon's tendencies after the Gido match, or Gon knowing Killua will reluctantly fold to him if he insists on something when talking to Meleoron. Their relationship is complex and they both have areas where they need to improve with regards to communicating and understanding each other (especially how they see themselves and the way that warps how they see each others' feelings), but they deeply love each other and I'm sure they're going to want to make the changes needed to fix things between them and not have something like Chimera Ant Arc happen again.
The separation has a lot of layers, but it portrays them both as sad to split up even though it's what's needed for now, still hurting about what they went through but grateful for each other nonetheless, comfortable enough with each other still for Killua to tease Gon and Gon to openly mope about it, and they make it clear this isn't forever. Even with the various subtextual things going on (like Gon's use of "nakama" after Killua had a crisis about that very word and Killua saying Gon is now number 2, for instance) don't erase the overall tone of the separation. It's bittersweet and hard for them both, but not on bad terms!
HxH is a story about human connection and second chances and how love transforms people. The two characters at the center of the story epitomize these themes, so having a cynical view of their bond and future feels like having a cynical view of what the series as a whole is saying. There's nothing wrong with exploring or thinking about angsty themes, of course, and I truly love how much darkness, sadness, and trauma HxH explores throughout, but I don't believe the ultimate trajectory of the series is one of hopelessness or cynicism.
I hope those who are concerned about their future can zoom out and look at the series as a whole and see how many reasons there are to be hopeful for them.
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Little bittersweet that this might be Fig's swan song. There's like this "six seasons and a movie" mentality that makes me feel like Senior Year is the finish line, so just stick it out for one more. But, if creatively Emily doesn't feel like she can get any more out of the character, then that's that. It's best to move on rather than force it. Or not. It's the end of her time at Aguefort, doesn't mean it's the end of her time with the Bad Kids. The school part of these characters being high schoolers only really came into play this season, so let's wait and see. Emily considered retiring Fig at the start of this season and changed her mind. It could happen again.
On to the fun stuff:
-Gorgug didn't get a last hit on Porter, but he did get a clutch assist in with a narratively satisfying move that uses his Artificer class instead of his Barbarian class, helping drive the last nail in on Porters coffin. *chefs kiss* Going out of Rage while doing it was a perfect way to twist the knife.
-Riz's kill line on KP was stone cold.
-Everyone else's contributions were valuable but none more so than the newest Bad Kid, The Lava. Taking out five major threats during the battle. What a trooper and a strong candidate for Honor Roll.
-I came around on Mary Anne too. I get why some of the Intrepid Heroes were so obsessed with flipping her allegiances.
There's a lot this season that gives a strong finale vibe, but besides that hook at the end there's another thing that keeps going unresolved. Sol and his church keep fucking around and it's about damn time they find out. I don't think Senior Year will be a full-on religious crusade, but it doesn't feel like that plot point should be off the table. And what the fuck is Kalinas deal? So she was never loyal to Cass?
I hope we don't have to wait another 4 years for the next chapter of Fantasy High to get an answer to those questions.
Fig honestly would prob go to school more if she wasn't required to so it's absolutely an Emily decision more than it is a story decision. It's hard to picture FH without her but I'm sure she'll come up with something fun if she's still feeling like retiring Fig whenever they get around to Senior Year.
I think it's arguably MORE fitting that Gorgug didn't get the last hit in and instead got him with a gadget that didn't even do damage. It's like, he got Porter and not even in a way that Porter would respect because it wasn't rageful and violent. That's gotta suck more than if Gorgug had just punched him hard and KO'd him.
The lava was just so so good. It's like when you're a warlock and technically you could do other stuff but spamming Eldritch Blast just gets you the most bang for your buck so you keep doing it. Once they figured out the lava strat, they basically had to keep using it. Lava MVP for sure.
Mary Ann being so checked out for the whole evil plot even while participating in it is so funny. Honestly, queen shit.
I really think that if Kalina is actually bad then that's a retcon from Brennan because that's never been how familiars work and Kalina did try to help them consistently throughout the season with the Spy's Tongue Curse clue. She only attacked them when she got hit with a rage crystal and that was godly interference.
I agree that there are a lot of loose ends re: The Church of Sol (Buddy, Bobby and Sandra Lynn, Helio's lack of a chosen one, Bucky's whole deal, the Helioic pantheon shakeup--how crazy is it that Cass never talks to any of her celestial sibs?). I hope that if we explore that we get to see more about the actual people of the church rather than just the gods because there was a huge god focus in back to back seasons and, as I've mentioned before, if Spyre rules mean that gods are a reflection of their followers, their followers are honestly more interesting. I can't really be mad at Sol for being what he is when his chill level is determined by Bobby Dawn and co, you know? He has limited agency as an entity. Cut out the middle man and let's chase down Bobby directly.
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What if...? The Super Soldier Serum doesn't work and Steve doesn't become Captain America?
There is a 'What if…?' inspired (?) game ("""immersive story""") on the apple vision now. I have not played it (who the hell would buy an apple vision lmao) but I watched some lets plays (on youtube) and while I don't think the full experience is…. all that great, it does look very nice, seems congruent (canon-compliant?) with everything else from the What if...? show, AND there is a Steve plotline featuring Bucky, Hydra, Red Guardian and kinda Red Skull that has some interesting plot points that I feel are interesting both as character studies or as AU starting points, so I'll summarise and provide some badly screenshoted pictures as evidence 🥲 I'll put this under the read more just in case soemoen here does have 3.5k for useless equipment and wants to experience the 'game' themselves.
Basic set up of the little interactive experience/game; You get recruited by the Watcher to collect all infinity stones for… reasons, and to do that, you get zapped around different multiverses.
To collect the power stone (purple), you get put into Siberia, where you learn the following: During the second World War, the allied forces tried to create a supersoldier to put a stop to the Nazis/Hydra -- just as they did in our universe
Unforunately, though, shit goes wrong, the serum doesn't work, and the machines explode, so that Steve doesn't become the hunk of a man we know and love but… well, red skull.
Don't get me wrong, he's still a good guy, but, in his own words: 'The allied forces had an ideal vision of a super soldier -- and that wasn't me.'
They basically didnt use them as propaganda because he's uggo now, lmao. Without touring as a motivational piece doing little shows, though, he also never really becomes Captain America.
And without a force to put their bundled hopes in, the allied forces fall apart, and Hydra wins (!) without a super soldier to stop them.
The timeline gets more fuzzy now, it is not clear to me if some/most/all of the events are meant to be happening at around WW2 time, or much later. 'Siberia 1988' was thrown around, but I'm honestly not sure if it's meant to be the date, or just some reference. However, one character shows up significantly aged at the end of the show, so it actually might be 1988, implying that Hydra did rule most of Europe (?) for 30-40 years.
Either way, Hydra does start creating Super Soldiers using the purple Infinity Stone, the Power Stone. Steve, either on a solo-mission or sent by Shield (unclear), goes to Siberia to retrieve the stone, that is guarded by Red Guardian. Red Guardian refuses to give the stone to Steve, as 'the powers of the stone make monsters out of men', using it is "nothing to be proud of" and 'you don't look like scientist. you don't sound like scientist… well, uh… no, you have skull for face' (literal quote, lmao, love it), so they fight.
Steve looses the fight, BUT --- sees Bucky in one of the tanks, before he has to flee the scene, as he is just about to get his ass whooped.
Wanting to save his friend, Steve now helps you to collect all the stones, yadda yadda, intergalactic multiverse bullshit happens, blabla, i dont care. Once you do collect all the other infinity stones with some other marvel characters, there is a bit of a twist, a big showdown, and then you have two choices:
Either, you give each hero the stone that they were after, or you "do the right thing" and destroy the stones.
If you go for the good ending and destroy the stone, Steve goes back to his universe. Without the stone being there to create all these Super Soldiers for Hydra Steve and Red Guardian team up to free Winter Soldier Bucky.
and together they form a 'nation-less alliance of superheros' to fight some bad guys which the red guardian calls the… musketeers.
[[It is unclear to me where Steve got a shield, considering that he absolutely didn't have one up to this point. I also wonder if 'nation-less' means that Steve rejects being an American here? Red Guardian not being American makes sense, Bucky not easily being allowed to return also makes sense with all the war crimes he committed, but I do like the idea of Steve doing the right thing here leads him to be a lot less patriotic than in our canon.]]
However: If you do give Steve the infinity stone, he brings it to SHIELD ---- which seems to be represented by the aged What if? model of Howard Stark from the second season of the show, making me believe that it might in fact be playing in 1988 --- which does lead the US to win the war against HYDRA, but also "unleashes the super soldier threat back home" with there being hundreds of supersoldier chambers being shown.
I'm assuming the implication is that shield = hydra or maybe just super soldiers = bad no matter where they are? Interestingly, there is no more mention of Bucky in this ending, so I guess Steve was too busy acquiring world domination or something to still care about him. Considering that Howard is his old-model here, this does imply that Steve only retrieves the power stone by the late 80's. Not sure what he has been up to for the 40 years until then -- was he also somewhere frozen? Do red-skull-supersoldiers just not age? --- but it does imply that Hydra was (openly!) in control of at least most of Central Europe for this entire time period, before the US finally had a chance to beat them.
They are definitly using the same models/assets as in the TV show, so I do wonder if we will see some of these elements in the next season, too, considering they already announced an episode featuring Bucky and Red Guardian.
Overall, while I feel like it doesn't really fulfill the criteria of a good interactive game/experience, I found this plot line quite interesting, and having the serum fail Steve, and he therefore nor being the Golden Boy and rejected by the allied forces, plus the potential 40-year long rule of Hydra are super intriguing to me. Bucky and Red Guardian also not being created by the serum, but by the powers of the infinity stone also seem like an interesting starting point for some musings, AUs and fics. I also wonder what Hydra had been doing with Bucky for those 40 years for Steve not having known/heard about him in the mean time.
Ie. if someone writes fanfic based on this, please send it to me haha.
Or TL; DR: It's basically a "What if Steve was ugly?" (in the words of @tinaxpow )
#marvel#what if#mcu#steve rogers#bucky barnes#captain america#red guardian#alternative timeline#red skull#hydra#we love uggo steve in this house
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Hey! I know he's a bit of a rare clone, but would you consider writing for maze? he's from the repcomm books and is endearingly (Imo) professional and surly 👉👈
Not That Hard
Summary: When one story ends, another one begins. Maze, formerly a Republic Soldier, is now a bounty hunter. He’s used to things being orderly, everything has a place, and everything should be in its place. So when he ends up locked in a small cell with the woman he’s been searching for, a woman who’s been missing for three weeks, he knows that everything is about to be turned on its head.
Pairing: Pre Maze (Alpha-26) x F!Reader
Word Count: 1722
Warnings: None
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly
A/N: So, I've never written Maze before, but I'm always happy to write any of the Alphas, or any star wars character. His page on Wookieepedia wasn't the best, but I did the best I could. I hope you like it! Also, I've been watching a lot of Numb3rs, so that's where the basic idea of this came from.
Maze leans back against the stone wall, his gaze drifting from the woman sleeping on the singular cot in the cell to the door, and then back again. He’s glad that she’s asleep. He wasn’t sure that she would fall asleep, honestly.
He leans over and tugs the thin blanket a little higher over her shoulders. The blanket won’t do much to keep the cold out, it’s too thin, but it’s enough that she can sleep.
Three weeks ago the University of Theeds reached out to him, telling him that one of their Teachers had gone missing. They said to him that someone had broken into her home, torn the place to pieces, and taken her.
The University hired him to find her since he was something of an expert on finding people.
The fact that she’s alive is a damned miracle, in his opinion. After three weeks, statistics indicate that he should have found her in a ditch somewhere.
He’s never been so glad to be wrong in his life.
Still, the fact that they haven’t killed her suggests that they want something from her. Maze shifts so that he’s sitting on the cot beside her, tired of sitting on the ground.
He needs to think.
Why would someone want a University Professor?
Absently, Maze brushes a strand of hair off her face as he thinks about what he knows about her.
She’s young, barely brushing 25 years old. She’s an only child. Her mom died from heart disease when she was a child, her dad recently retired to a lake house. There’s no other family.
She’s single, and her only friends are people who work at the University with her. Honestly, it sounds like a lonely life to him, but according to her colleagues and friends, she’s seemed lonely or unhappy.
He can respect that.
Maze’s eyes snap to her face as she releases a quiet noise and shifts on the cot, seemingly to curl into his warmth while also opening her eyes. “You should go back to sleep, Professor. It’s early.” He says quietly.
She sighs and shakes her head, “No point. They’re going to be coming soon.” Slowly, she sits up and shifts so she’s able to press her face against his shoulder.
“What do they want?” Maze asks, mentally kicking himself for not asking her earlier. But then, her injuries were pretty severe. It makes sense that he would put that aside.
“I’m a Bio-Engineer.” She replies tiredly, “They want me to tell them how to break into BioGen.”
“Why?”
“BioGen’s biggest thing is weaponizing viruses.”
Maze stiffens and his gaze snaps to her face, “BioWeapons are illegal. Even in the Empire.”
“They weaponize them so that they can try and develop cures for them. It’s all legal and above board.” She reassures, “Even in the Empire.”
“Why’d you leave?”
“A Tenured Professorship at the University of Theeds is a great honor, not to mention it pays very well.” She replies, “It made sense, career-wise.”
“Only there’s a lot less security at the University compared to a Biomedical facility.”
She huffs out a laugh, “Yeah, there is that.” She shifts her head slightly, “But this has never happened before. Ever. People leave BioGen all of the time.”
“And you’re the first one kidnapped?”
“That I know of.”
There are heavy footsteps from the hall and Maze shifts so that his body is shielding hers. The door slams open and three men step into the room.
They’re not big men, if Maze were to stand, he’d tower over them. It burns him up that he allowed men like them to capture him so he would be able to find the professor.
“Professor,” One of the men stalks towards Maze, and he feels her shrink down behind him, “Come on, girl. Are we really going to do this? All you gotta do is give us the information, and then you’ll both go free.”
“Don’t lie. We all know that the moment she tells you what you want to know, you’ll kill her.” Maze growls out.
The man laughs, “Well, it’ll be a quick death, rather than this slow, dragged-out death.”
Behind him, the Professor trembles.
“Is this all of you? Just three men?”
“We still caught you, clone.” One of the other men sneers, “Grab the Professor—”
The first man reaches to grab the Professor, only for Maze to move, swiftly breaking the man’s arm, and slamming his head against the wall, causing him to crumple to the floor.
“Get low, Professor.” Maze orders as he stands and advances on the two remaining men. He doesn’t wait to see if she’s following his direction, as he suddenly has two furious men to contend with.
Unfortunately for them, he’s an Alpha Class clone, and they’re unarmed.
The fight can’t even be called a proper fight. The two remaining kidnappers go down with several well-placed hits, and Maze tosses them into the cell while motioning for the Professor to join him.
“We’re leaving,” Maze says to the woman as he holds his hand out for her.
Nervously she nods and takes his hand, “Where are we going?”
“Well, it was the University who hired me.” Maze replies as he peeks into the hall, and then leads her out of the cell as soon as he notes that it’s safe.
“Um—”
Maze stops and looks at her, “What’s wrong?”
“Just…did they seem smart enough to come up with this on their own?”
Maze stares at her for a long time, and then he sighs, “No. They didn’t.” He’s quiet for a moment, “Alright, there must be something here to indicate who hired them. Follow me.”
Maze leads abruptly turns down a side hallway and leads her into a much larger room. There are computers, though they seem largely untouched. It looks like the kidnappers were more concerned with the games that were playing on the four holos lined up next to each other than the computers.
There are three couches, each other them surrounded by empty bottles and empty pizza boxes.
“Well,” Maze notes as he steps around a pile of trash, “Criminal Genuises they are not.”
The Professor peers at a holo-board next to the couches, “It looks like they have a gambling problem.”
“Lucky for us. It means they probably didn’t delete anything.” Maze walks over to the computers, “Stay close, Professor.”
“Ah…Sorry.” She hurries to his side and peeks around him at the monitors.
Maze flashes a small smile at her and then focuses on the computers. “Hey, Professor?”
“Yes?”
“How’d they grab you?”
“I was heading home from a day of classes, and they ran me off the road.” She replies.
“You were driving yourself.”
“Yeah.”
“Does anyone know your route home?”
“I mean, there’s only one road off of the main campus,” She replies, “But I generally don’t know what route I’m taking home until I get in the car. It depends on the traffic and if I need to go grocery shopping.”
“And you didn’t tell anyone your plans for the evening when you were taken?” Maze asks as he scans something on the screen.
“No. No one.”
“It looks like our violent friends were hired by Levi Kelley. At least, that’s who paid them.”
“Levi Kelley?”
“You know him?”
“Yeah, he’s the head of the Biology Department at the University. I thought you said the University hired you?”
“Yeah, the Dean hired me. This Levi person, is he your supervisor?”
“No. I mean, he thinks that he is, but we’re on the same level.”
“Are you friends?”
“I’ve always been a bit…ambivalent towards him. He’s a good teacher, but he’s kind of a terrible person. Racist, sexist, the whole shebang.”
“And he works at a University?”
“He’s a very good teacher. But he lost his tenure last year.”
“For what?”
“Academic misconduct, according to the rumors.” She leans against his side, exhausted, “The only person who knows the truth would be the Dean.”
“So it’s revenge.” Maze murmurs, “Use you to get an incurable virus, and release it on the school. Did you tell them anything?”
“No, I didn’t. I wouldn’t.”
“They tortured you, Professor. No one would blame you if you did.”
“I’m telling you, I didn’t. I left Biogen two years ago, Maze. I don’t remember any passwords or door codes. And they removed my biometrics from their system on my last day. I swear it.”
“Okay.” Maze lightly pushes some of her hair out of her face, “So they need someone else, a current employee.”
“Yeah, it’s the only way to get inside.”
“Alright. Let’s get out of here and alert the authorities. And get you some medical attention.”
“Yes please.”
Maze lightly presses his hand against the small of her back, guiding her towards the door, “I have one more question, Professor.”
“Go ahead?”
“When my brothers and I were decanted, we were given enhanced aging.”
“Yes, it was the only way for the Kaminoans to get a viable army in 10 years.” She replies.
“Yeah, you think you can reverse it?”
“Reverse it?” She repeats, sounding more thoughtful than surprised. Maze watches as she absently scratches at a deep gash on her cheek, “I don’t know about reversing it,” She finally says, “but I might be able to cure it. With enough blood samples.”
“Really?”
“Well sure, it’s not that hard. It’s just gene manipulation.” She frowns at him thoughtfully, “Look, all the information I need is here,” she lightly taps his chest, “The more of your brothers I can get blood samples from, the easier it’ll be to make a cure.”
“Can you do it at the University while also teaching?”
“I mean, sure. But the University of Theeds is funded by the Emperor. I’m guessing you don’t want the Empire to know about it.”
“No, I don’t.” Maze replies.
She’s quiet for a moment, “Find me a place to work, off of Naboo, and I can help you.”
“If you can cure this, I might just kiss you,” Maze says with a sly smile.
Her face heats and she won’t look at him, “Well, that seems a bit excessive,” She mumbles.
She squeaks when he lightly drapes his arm over her shoulder and tugs her against his side, “No. It isn’t. Come on, Professor. Let’s get you safe.”
#star wars#tcw#maze (alpha-16) x reader#maze x reader#star wars fanfiction#x reader fanfiction#f!reader fic#answered asks
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You guys know that I love Max Caulfield to the moon and back. She's one of my favorite characters not only in the Life is Strange series, but of all time.
But I think this game was a really, really bad idea.
I've seen most people think it's set after the sacrifice Chloe ending, others think since there are two timelines, there is one for each ending. And even if that was true, there is still one main timeline. And it that timeline, one of the endings has to be canonized.
Unless they make you choose at the beginning like they did with LiS 2, but I honestly don't know how that will work in this game, because in LiS 2 it was a matter of a small cameo, in this it's the whole freaking game.
And if the game actually does canonize one of the endings, that is one big problem.
It's gonna ruin the first game.
Canonizing one ending, either one, will invalidate the player's choice. It will take away the player's choice, which was the basis, the ESSENCE of Life is Strange as a game.
This wasn't what Dontnod had originally envisioned. This is why I hate the fact that Deck Nine took over Life is Strange. Dontnod had said Chloe and Max's story was over, and I really think it was for the best. That story should've been left alone, but deck nine keeps milking it because people are unable to let go.
#life is strange#max caulfield#chloe price#lis 1#dontnod entertainment#dontnod#deck nine#life is strange double exposure
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Top six reasons I ship Valgrace, because I love to talk about them.
Friends to lovers trope. This is my favorite trope and you can never really miss with it. Having friends to lovers trope means that your characters can already have a connection and know each other before they start dating. Also a friends to lovers valgrace story is so fun to read and/or write and it keeps me on the edge of my seat practically screaming at the fictional characters to stop being stupid and just get together through my phone
the "storm or fire" line in the prophecy of the seven. Having a ship where both of the characters would die for each other and know that one of them dies is absolutely incredible. I love tragic gays so freaking much, and valgrace is an amazing example of a tragic gay couple
It makes more sense than caleo and jiper. Caleo doesn't make sense in my mind bc calypso was extremely rude and demanding to Leo, the kiss didn't make up for anything. Also calypsos over 2000 years old and she should not be dating a 16 year old. She did in fact live those thousands of years, unlike Nico or Hazel. So please do not try to convince me that "well shes technically a teenager" she's still 2000 years old. I see caleo more as siblings, maybe becoming friends after the island thing. Jiper is also just incredibly Cishet and toxic. Saying that they were canonically dating is also just stupid because they also canonically broke up BECAUSE the relationship was toxic. Valgrace would actually be able to evolve and become a good relationship, without an immortal falling for a minor.
the differences and similarities between Leo and Jason. The height difference is an obvious thing that I enjoy, a very popular thing that's honestly very understandable. The way they were raised, with Leo running away from every home and never really knowing who his friends were and Jason never knowing who he himself was, is a huge factor in the reasons I like valgrace too. A boy who was raised by wolves, always forced to be a leader, just cozying up to the boy who thought that no one would ever want him is so sad and beautiful at the same time. How could you not love them?
their powers are also something that can be written in a way that's honestly poetic. Leo's fire is uncontrollable and the fact that at he just accidentally lights himself on fire when he's nervous, excited, or just expressing and emotion a bit to much is something that I adore!! Jason sparking when he gets emotional is a great parody to Leo's fire and I love that fact that both of their powers physically manifest!!!!!
Valgrace makes more sense for the lost hero trio. Piper being the "third wheel" but honestly if written right her and Leo should be even closer and are practically platonic soulmates. So there wouldn't necessarily be a third wheel just the "mom and dad and their child" type of thing but piper and her two dads and I love that for them like that's so cool and their friendgroup wouldn't be affected by the relationship like jiper messed with the lost hero trio because it would be a good balance even if it was an au where Jason and piper used to date but they broke up and then valgrace happens
Gods, I love them
#valgrace#leo valdez#jason grace#heros of olympus#trials of apollo#percy jackson#rick riordan#valgrace is amazing#valgrace my beloved#the lost hero
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I finished my HxH journey and y'all....I'm definitely not the same person I was before I started it.
I struggled with this anime for a hot second, for reasons I guess a lot of new watchers do. Hisoka was a tough pill for me to swallow (putting it lightly). The Greed Island arc was hard for my brain to wrap itself around. The Chimera arc was so dark and disturbing, it was starting to affect my dreams.
But something told me to keep going. And I'm so glad I did.
I think what thrills me the most about HxH is that NOTHING in this show is incidental. Nothing and no one is one dimensional. There is so much nuance, weight and humanity scripted into the story and it feels like it comes out of NOWHERE. Not one story beat exists on just a surface level. The relationships between characters feel so real, sometimes unbearably so.
Speaking of which, I didn't expect a shounen to contain two of the most beautifully written love stories of all time, one between Meruem and Komugi and the other between Killua and Gon. I know the homophobes are gonna come for me for mentioning the latter, but you cannot possibly be an emotionally awake individual and not see the love pouring forth between these two boys. Togashi honestly makes love the center piece of the entire show, in a genre that is directed towards teenage boys and that is supposed to center around fighting. It's subversive and profoundly meaningful.
I know I'll have more thoughts as I integrate the experience of watching this show. If you're considering taking the journey, be warned that it can get extremely triggering and extremely dark, but if you have the spoons, this show will absolutely change your life.
#hxh#hunter x hunter#yoshihiro togashi#there is life before hxh and there is life after#gon hxh#hxh killua#hunter x hunter spoilers#hxh spoilers
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I've been thinking about this a bit lately, and I'm curious of the takes of other TLOU fans (particularly of the game, because the show hasn't gotten to this point yet, although that seems to be the eventual course.)
Clearly I enjoyed the first game (and season). I only watched the "highlights" of TLOU2 -- major cutscenes and flashbacks, I THINK I've gotten them all by now -- but nothing really from the general continuity after Ellie goes looking for revenge. I'm honestly not interested in watching any further, for a couple reasons, primary among them being I think it was lazy storytelling. We joke about traumatizing characters over and over in multiple, horrible ways, but tbh I don't want to get deeply invested in a story where no one is ever happy, and love always suffers and dies.
Being perfectly honest, from what I have seen of Ellie in TLOU2, I stopped liking her.
In saying this, I acknowledge that Ellie lived through Some Shit, and I understand the reasoning behind her feeling of betrayal. But... she just got kinda mean to Joel. Beyond just being kind of a moody teen, when I look at the bare bones of their relationship in TLOU2, discounting all the warm, fuzzy, reassuring, "fix it" fics (which is what I'm here for), Ellie is just... unpleasant to him.
And she is his whole entire world.
And he's not an asshole. He's maybe a little too fatherly for her tastes, which is fair, but he also stands back and gives her space to grow and challenge herself, and make decisions.
I think it's particularly stinging for me because my Dad was an asshole. In point of fact, all of the father figures in my life were (and are) assholes. Neglectful at best, outright cruel at worst.
Ellie hit the fucking jackpot, and she kind of treats him like trash.
I am the absolute last person in the world to ever say to someone, "But s/he's your Mom / Dad", because hoo boy did I fucking hate hearing that shit, especially from people who couldn't grasp what it was like to NOT have a good, loving, supportive relationship with their parents.
But ugh. It's so, so hard to watch. I want to like her, but it's rough.
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