#And also should be normalised more for other sexualities
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can people start obsessing over queerplatontic ships the same way they obsess over romantic ships
#queerplatonic#aro#< not technically related but qpr and aros are after put together#Just thought that was an important notice since qpr can be done by anybody of any sexuality#And also should be normalised more for other sexualities#lgbtq#qpr positivity#qpr#Now here comes the part where I just start putting characters who are totally in queer platonic relationships#Thalia and luke#Masika and Jack#Xanu and gothi#Silena and Clarisse#Lilith and darius
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I know I'm gonna attract a lot of speeches and stuff with this statement but I'll tell you something-
Both Arjuna and Kanha are incarnations of Shri Narayana so shipping them with each other romantically is not fun y'all (they are also the twin sages Nara and Narayana so that makes it more yikes? Twincest bro? Why?)
It's weird, and while I do fully support the lgtbq+ (bhai I'm demisexual myself), please don't insert it in itihāsa scriptures where it's not. Yes, I know about Sudyumna and Ila and how King Bhagiratha was born. Even Khajuraho has homoerotic sculptures and yes the community deserves respect just as any heterosexual personality does. Yes hinduism embraces homosexuality openly and there's nothing to be ashamed of it. But jahan hai vahan hai, jahan nahi don't put it there. Imagine labeling a person with wrong pronouns and wrong sexuality, not respectful right? Why do it with divine people? I know Kanha's everybody's buddy here and I'm nobody to tell people how they should worship him and what bhāva should they harbour, but like? It's not canon? Don't do it? People can be platonically very affectionate with each other and we should normalise it? And not term them as someone they're not? Fandom nahi hai bro, culture hai, dharma hai. Jise dhaaran kiya jaye, vahi dharma hai. Our ethics, morals and principles are our dharma. We have evidences of the Mahabharata and Ramayana. So it's not like they're fictional, are they? I know Tumblr pe we're all having fun and aisa hota hai yahan, I myself adore #ParAv very much but seriously writing smut on them? Making sexual jokes? Painting them as some people they're not? Why? Just because a large number of people are doing it, doesn't make it right.
(If somebody's posting hate comments or any stuff they're getting blocked.)
#krishnablr#arjuna#krishna#kanha#krishna my beloved <3#mahabharata#jaya samhita#gopiblr#desiblr#dhruvi speaks
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Power Corrupts: Part 5
Rob cried all day. The moment the verdict had been read, the moment the sentence was announced, and the moment his beautiful wife had been marched out of sight. Alex had stayed emotionless but he had caught her eye when the punishment – free use service – had been read out. He could see the fear hiding in her eyes but moments later she was gone. He left the court in a daze and by the time he was back at the small third floor flat he shared (used to share, he realised with a sting) with his wife he realised he had been crying constantly. He sat down in front of his MacBook and googled: free use service UK.
The information was exceedingly detailed. He read it with growing dread. Testimonials from women reporting the cruelty, misery and humiliation of the process. Feminist articles arguing the system normalised rape and violence, while other feminist argued that it permitted a safe controlled way for sexual frustrations to be expressed. Other articles argued the service should be expanded further. He read further to absorb details of the rules. Formally the service only included vaginal sex. Many articles and comments claimed that oral and anal were commonplace. The details of the electrical prods that were used to maintain obedience. The medical risks: frequency of unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.
Rob browsed further and found a website called Free Use Tourism. The banner image was a picture of a naked woman surrounded by men, tears in her eyes and one of the electrical rods in her mouth. The tagline read: a forum for sharing free use service experiences and recommendations. Rob knew he should leave the site, but he couldn't. The forum sections made him feel sick: field reports & experiences, upcoming free use girls, fantasy free use, free use rule breaking and more. Rob clicked into upcoming free use girls. Dozens of threads appeared, each with a photo of a woman and discussion of a court case or potential service. He scrolled down, taking in the vile comments under the photos about travelling to visit and rape these women. Then he stopped dead: his wife Alex smiling out of the screen. The photo was from a TV interview she had done only a few weeks ago. There were more comments under her than any woman he'd yet seen. Rob managed to read only one: "I hate this bitch, been on my rape wishlist for a while". Rob shakily closed the website and slammed his laptop shut. He put on a film and sat in numb silence until he passed out on the sofa.
Rob woke alone and began his day as normally as he could. He was off work for the whole week, so he went to the supermarket to buy food. He was constantly tormented by thoughts of what Alex was going through. She was a strong woman but he also knew she preferred gentle romantic sex. He had always wanted to explore rougher fantasies: pain and domination, but she always demurred. And anal. Rob loved anal and before he got married he had always had regular anal sex with his exes. He could count how many times he'd had anal with Alex on one hand. It made him sick to imagine that she would be anally raped every day.
He got home and despite himself, opened his laptop again. He couldn't resist the curiosity and very quickly ended up back on Free Use Tourism. This time he clicked through to field reports & experiences. The first thread was titled "Alex Colman MP Free Use Day 1". Rob felt his stomach sink, but he couldn't resist clicking. And he read:
"Field report from my first visit to Alex Colman in London. This is my first field report but I've been waiting to visit Alex for weeks, and I know she's been much anticipated so I decided to go first thing to be one of the first to try her out. I plan to visit plenty more so let me know what I should try.
Anyway, I turned up to parliament at 7am, free use starts at 8 but there was a queue already. I was probably 10th in line. They were pre-checking STD reports in the queue, good service. She's in a room somewhere in parliament, the place is a maze but the staff make it easy enough.
Anyway, to the fucking. She's seriously hot, body is better than she looks on TV. Fat tits and at least on day one her cunt wasn't too stretched out. You wouldn't know she's a feminist the way she keeps it shaved and groomed like a pornstar. Hopefully someone sneaks in a camera because you guys need to see her. She cried and bitched loads which I loved. I decided to fuck her cunt today but the guy before me used her asshole. I'll try that next time. First I tried her mouth, she sucks dick pretty well but I'd like to see her try to deepthroat more, I had to really force it.
Once her cunt was free, all I'll say is she's probably the tightest free use cunt I've ever had. I guess that will change so if you're local or planning a trip, come soon. I think I made her cum too, was hard to tell with all her sobbing. Came inside her and had to get out pretty quick as there was a long queue.
Overall she's a 8/10. Body is fantastic but her ass could be bigger and her face isn't the prettiest. But highly recommend a trip, let me know your experience or if anyone else here was there day 1 maybe we can fuck her together sometime. I'm thinking of going every weekend."
Rob slammed the laptop shut, his stomach churning and he felt he might puke. But he realised his cock was hard.
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Follow me for new writing every Friday.
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Since the topic's been going around and getting me thinking:
Ockham enjoys the typical shows of romance, particularly those expressed physically. Heshethey does struggle though to be the only person in a relationship and the only means of physical/emotional intimacy or support for someone because of hishertheir transitory nature and personal priorities overriding romance. The Greater London Polycule is a good fit for himherthem. Emotional intimacy might be a bit more difficult because of the current identity crisis happening, but heshethey wouldn't turn down sex or any kind of physical intimacy. That's something that Ockham doesn't really have any hangups about, possibly related to living in close quarters with people most of hishertheir life and seeing it as something mundane and relatively normalised. Especially with hishertheir eclectic set of memories and experiences (many of them serpentine), Ockham finds the sexual mores of Victorian Londoners particularly inane at times. These elements also makes Ockham open to trying pretty much anything a partner may suggest, at least once.
On the other side of the spectrum is Roberts, who's actively irked by any overt signs of romance on Grand Geode, usually because that means said sequencers are distracted or shirking duties. Realistically, the negativity comes from it being something that he feels that he could never have as a consequence of both his sexuality and position (though it's not something he's self-aware enough to know, nor wants to think about). Anyone making romantic overtures at this point would be pushed away out of a mixture of him not believing that he deserves it, that said person is after some sort of advantage because of his position, and that it would be a distraction from The Work, with a healthy bit of fear of the unknown thrown in for good measure. He's built up a ridiculous amount of intricate rituals around physical contact with people that make sense only to him. Having any sort of a sex life is a nightmare when you're almost everyone's superior officer and instantly recognisable, and come with enough emotional baggage to hold every piece of sentient clothing in Polythreme, and thus regulated to quick and faceless encounters, often in foreign ports. Even then, the intricate rules persist: sex is sex, direct and perfunctory. Kissing is off limits, absolutely no lingering touches, nothing that feels too much like intimacy or involves giving up control or trusting someone. Get what you're here for and go.
Nite's lack of memory has made everything a novel option and possibility. This is not necessarily a good thing. His strong streak for showmanship and craving attention lead to some somewhat extreme behaviour. Those grand gestures that only seem to work in romance novels are exactly what appeals to his sensibilities and he's convinced that they would work in real life, and is apt to try. If boomboxes and romcoms existed in this era, he would be that guy. It clearly seems to work in the films, so absolutely worth attempting in real life. Because a lot of what he imagines romantic behaviour is comes from stories and not real life experience, he starts with the idea that this is what romance and seduction should look like. Many of these things are things he doesn't even necessarily enjoy, but he tries anyway because what does he know, maybe that's just how things are done. This does eventually modulate over time, when he gets a better sense for his own preferences, and the flair for the dramatic remains, but tempered. He is also very quick to emotionally open up and try to deepen a relationship (either romantic or otherwise), often faster than the other person is comfortable with. After a handful of negative experiences he's gotten better at this. Unlike Ockham, whose sexual tastes generally tend to be broader and has a fairly solid sense of hishertheir boundaries, Nite has the same "I'll try anything" approach, albeit it closer to an "I have to try everything to know what I like" outlook, and no moderation or sense of pacing. This has led to a handful of upsetting experiences (both for himself and any partner(s) involved) when he inevitably discovers far too late that this was not a good idea. His lack of knowledge of his own boundaries makes him dangerous to both himself and others.
Tamara's been on dates with some of her peers back in Varchas, but it was never something that intensely interested her, nor did she ever have a serious relationship. It was expected that she would eventually settle down, either with someone of her choosing from a similar class background, or through a suitable suitor introduced through her family. She did enjoy the attention that flirtation brought, but would be the first to tell you that she doesn't really know what she wants out of a partner either romantically or sexually, but of course has plenty of time to figure it out. In London, she has far more important priorities at the moment and isn't even entertaining the idea. Her initial suspicion surrounding Ockham's kindness was quickly assuaged upon realising that heshethey doesn't necessarily want anything from her at all and offering her a place to stay was simply an act of one outsider recognising another and offering a helping hand. Of course, there's plenty more regarding Ockham about which to be suspicious, but that's a different topic.
The Rubbery Barber Surgeon is in a healthy and loving butch/femme relationship with The Tentaclar Surgeoness. He enjoys filling the traditional masculine role that the Surgeoness, a huge fan of pulpy romance novels, seeks in a partner. Thus far, things have gone well for them, and they seem perfectly compatible. She might just be the one. He may have visited a particular jeweler on Flute Street a couple of times. He's slowly planning a very special date night for them in the near future.
#ockham#roberts/nite#tamara#the rubbery barber surgeon#oh boy did this get away from me#the proportion of OCs who have healthy relationships to romance and sexuality is actually higher than i'd expected#the fucked up sequencer/revolutionary is an outlier adn should not have been counted#throwing the entire statistic into disarray#astra i'm looking you dead in the eyes over the internet when i say even on a bad day it's not worth it#avoid that old man#in any and all forms
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Genuine thought as a fellow trans dude, I’ve seen a lot of (obviously non-serious) questions on other blogs about characters’ genitals such as “how does it look like?” and similar, and I think we all know & understand that such questions are extremely inappropriate to ask and (I hope) no one would actually go around asking these questions irl. Idk, I think we should treat trans characters just like cis ones, without any special “precautions”, so to normalise them and not make cis people treat them like fragile boxes, a thing which happens to a lot of us irl. Hope this doesn’t come off as an attack or anything lol.
no worries, i didn't take this as an attack at all. i actually agree with you, that's why i mentioned feeling conflicted about it and also mentioned that i've changed my stance on how i felt about handling Noel and Clementine in game and in explicit intimate scenes.
however, for me the problem comes from the fact that people... don't ask these kinds of questions about cis characters? i suppose people do get cheeky "who is the biggest 🤪" asks but i would hardly compare the two. to be a bit crude, no one is going to be asking if a cis character has a dick or not, or "what does it look like". of course it's natural for people to be curious, and i honestly encourage the open discussion and am happy to see trans bodies being talked about more in a positive way, but not everyone is going to be comfortable with it due to the inescapable transphobia online and in the community. sending me that kind of ask is like sending out an invitation for a debate or a discussion that i don't necessarily want to have. i also just don't think people should default to asking a random IF author on tumblr dot com to describe what bottom growth looks like.
and with most of these asks typically coming from someone who is anonymous, i have no way of truly knowing what the tone is, what their intentions are or why this is being asked - is it another trans person? or maybe someone who is just genuinely curious? or, more likely in my experience, is it someone who is going to immediately follow up this message with something transphobic after i answer? do i want to roll the dice and find out?
so while i agree with what you're saying, it's important to consider the context and the reality we live in. the IF community is not kind to trans people or trans characters. and as a trans person, my first priority is protecting myself and my mental health. so what i mean when i say "precautions," is that those precautions are for me, because i've had to deal with transphobic harassment here for years now, and i try to mitigate it as much as i can. it's also for my personal comfort - again, to be blunt, i'm simply just not comfortable discussing a trans character's genitals with anonymous strangers on the internet. it makes me feel vulnerable.
also i do want to say i didn't mean for any of that to come across as a dig at other authors - if you're comfortable answering those kinds of questions, that's really only something you can decide for yourself. like i said, this is just coming from my own experiences in IF and for my own personal comfort - i have previously talked a lot about trans stuff and gender and sexuality here, when i'm feeling up to it, but it is something that is very draining for me and can also be very upsetting.
basically: i do agree that it's important not to other trans characters or treat them any differently than cis characters, but i also think there are ways to do it that don't require me answering invasive questions or questions that i don't feel comfortable with as a real life trans person, you know what i mean?
#hopefully this better explains what i was trying to say#again no worries anon i've had this exact conversation before with other trans people#and it's something that i don't think has a perfect solution esp with the current... climate#and especially online with the anonymity it makes these topics really touchy. you don't know who is reading this or who is interacting#if it's sincere or in bad faith#things have changed a lot in the IF community for the better but it's still not safe and i always advocate for an author to protect#themself first#back when i started tnp it was not at all common for ppl to list characters as cis#really it was only nb or trans characters that got listed in that way#and it's why i chose not to do that and why i wanted the player to find out lea and merry was trans at the same time as the hunter#same with noel and clem and their privacy#giving them that agency was important to me#and it's still important to me now#but i got a lot of harassment because of that. the lea reveal didnt even end up in game it was on the blog and it was weeks of harassment#afterwards that still makes me anxious to this day whenever i talk about lea's transness#so basically like. it comes down to what someone is comfortable with and what they're mentally able to handle#edit: thinkin abt it more &im going to be honest if someone sent me an ask that said ‘what does it look like’ i would be very Not Happy#like cis people & cis characters do Not get treated that way so why would i allow it for my trans characters#so i stand by saying that these asks are inappropriate like. i obviously dont know the context of what ur referencing#but that’s a hard no from me personally either way#to me as a trans person that question in itself is othering and objectifying#ask#anonymous
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The reason a lot of us "can't handle" qpr is because it's hard to understand how it's different than a deep friendship. We don't understand why we can't just normalize close friends living together and being physically affectionate without labeling it something else. The reason sexual and romantic partners have different words from friends is because of the kinds of feelings involved are generally different. qpr aren't different than friendship, it's just a label some people use for stronger and closer friends. I guess it just feels to me like it downplays the importance of friendships and puts up a wall instead of normalizing allowing friendship to include those things.
"queerplatonic" refers to a relationship that blurs the line between romantic and platonic, not necessarily 'stronger than a friendship'. while queerplatonic partners can mean "platonic life partner" for some people, for others it is a genuine blurring of boundaries because their feelings do not separate evenly into the binary of romantic/platonic. in angela chen's book ACE, one of her interviewees says they genuinely have the same feelings for their QPP as they do their husband. unless you are in a qpr or know very deeply and intimately someone who is in one, you cannot say it's different from a friendship.
to quote from the same book, QPPs are often less about specific feelings or intensity of such and more about "action and attitude... an explicit commitment to the partner and to the bond". I, and everyone who is in, wants or supports QPPs, agree that we should normalise friends living together and being close. we also need changes on a more structural level; not just normalising but actively accepting people who have never been romantically involved raising a child, couples therapists to work with friends/QPPs, the living with friends not being accepted only as a "last resort" because they are both single. queerplatonic relationships were born in response to amanormativity to normalise being in a lifelong commitment to someone who is not a romantic partner, not as a way of accommodating it. they exist to destabilise the idea that romantic relationships are the most important and the only ones worth committing to.
once again quoting angela chen "qpps take a type of relationship that is usually taken lightly (friendship) and decide it is important enough to merit unusual and potentially awkward conversations".
#queerplatonic#aromantic#lgbt+#would very much reccommend reading angela chen#or just talking to people in qprs
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As much as I’ve always admired the sheer creativity and kind attitude of the DSMP fandom, it’s nearly impossible to overlook the weird™ behaviour, regarding c!Primers in particular, and although it has been said countless times before me, I’d like to throw in my two cents.
The uncomfortable and frankly gross phenomenon of Bowspam, coined by Poppytwt, which portrays a romantic and sexual relationship between c!Tommy and c!Dream, is the reason I made this post in the first place. Unfortunately, some content featuring c!Prime is rather predatory, which contradicts the original source and the whole point of their dynamic. For example, if you type “Discduo” in the Spotify search bar, you’ll most likely find multiple “Discduo / Bowspam” playlists instead, which is obviously very gross, and appears as if the latter was still normalised to some extent. As much as this tag is disturbing in general, the more details you learn about it, the more problematic it seems.
Originally, Tadca was nothing but a collection of warnings, so that those who felt uncomfortable with abusive content, could simply block it, but Poppytwt claimed the tag, and that’s when things got actually weird™. It happened because some artists drew a couple of weird™ comics by pure accident, and it was used as a proof that all c!Prime enjoyers ship them. Andy never intended for Tadca to be twisted into something so heinous, and for this exact reason, he asked everyone to stop using the tag because of harassment, yet strangely enough, he was the one receiving harassment for something completely out of his control. Unfortunately, it wasn’t an exceptional case, as many other c!Prime enjoyers received death threats and harassment from c!Dream apologists, just for authentically depicting an abusive dynamic; pretending that c!Prime was paedophilic, and sending tons of harassment was easier than admitting that their fave wasn’t as good as they wanted to believe. Weirdly enough, Bowspam enjoyers never faced as much harassment as c!Primers, even though their content fully matched that definition. Plus, c!Trinity also received a good share of criticism because some people believed that it was a second wave of Tadca, except c!Punz got involved in it too.
Furthermore, it’s important to note that the c!Prime dynamic offers real-life abuse victims a voice, and it’s utterly disrespectful to sexualise it, as it may discourage them from speaking out about their situation because of a fear of being misunderstood, due to constant victim blaming in the fandom, and a misconception that any kind of abuse outside of family, is sexual. Fiction does have an important impact on real life, and unfortunately, some people forget about that completely. We should also remember that while creating c!Prime content might help some people cope with trauma and is often inspired by their own experiences, some people still choose to be weird about it, which I find extremely disrespectful.
#dream smp#dsmp#c!primeboys#c!discduo#discduo#c!tommy#tommyinnit#c!dream#discourse#fandom critical#dsmp fandom crit#tw abuse#tw obsessive behavior#tw possessive behaviour
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i have to be honest, i'm having some complicated feelings at the moment, i'm quite perturbed, so i'm just open journaling, this doesn't really have a firm point or conclusion, just getting my thoughts out there.
it is a little frustrating and aggravating when i encounter accounts that hide their age for a variety of reasons. but i think it's a complex matter (helpful adults that want to avoid inappropriate interactions with minors vs malicious adults who seek minors to inappropriately interact with, etc.), and that's not what i want to talk about. this site is 13+. there are many kids on here. i was on here from 14. so, the mix of grown adults and very adult subjects and online responsibilities/consequences with....children can create uncomfortable circumstances regarding discussion and content re; violence, sex, and power imbalance [between child and adult users].
i am not eager to have such interactions (involving topics and content seen as explicit, mature, adult, violent, sexual, etc.) with minors because i am not a grooming man. and i think normalising it, even in a benign, attempt to be supportive manner can potentially create a vulnerability for the malignant 'you are mature for your age' men because a lot of these girls ARE very mature in terms of the way they speak, and the knowledge they have which other generations before them didn't have at their age before the internet. but that doesn't equal psychological and physiological maturity, and it doesn't mean being exposed so unrestrictedly to so much complex, adult topics and media when you've just started puberty is mentally healthy. as i've said, i was massively negatively impacted by being on here for much of my teen years, and most women i speak to on here or elsewhere say the same, we all have stories of grooming, inappropriate interactions, harassment, bullying, mental health degeneration, etc.
it's a difficult topic, and i don't think i have an answer, because teen girls deserve support and knowledge from older women, and there does need to be that transition from childhood to adulthood, including more maturity and social responsibility and involvement in discussions such as radical feminism in detail, but yeah. so, the most i can do is try not to actively interact with teens. i can't stop them from following me (that 'don't follow if you're a minor' does nothing lol), but i hope that we can encourage and teach taking breaks, avoiding direct conflict that leads to online harassment and abuse by other groups (or even within infighting here), focusing on school and irl hobbies and friends, and reminding them that they should have these discussions with themselves about what is healthy, and consider what exposure to which online content helps or hurts their mental health, personal relationships, natural development, etc.
that's all i want to say. if you are under 18, you are not stupid, you are not a baby, you are not sitting at the kiddie table. but you are also not an adult, and as women very aware of the damage done to our own selves by being exposed to so much when we were your age, we do very much care, and just want a balance between power of knowledge and having a normal, healthy adolescent development BECAUSE we respect you.
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What's an anti-anti? Or an anti for that matter
Oh my friend I am so sorry to introduce you to the shitpile that is antishipping discourse
Anti is short for "antishipper", which is someone who believes certain types of ships are immoral and nobody should ship them or engage with media about them. Exactly what types of ships that includes varies (because morality will always be vague at best and you can't meaningfully categorise anything into "always good" and "always bad"), but people usually take issue with incest, ships involving one or more minors, age gaps, etc.
I consider myself a proshipper/"anti-anti" purely because I think this kind of discourse is extremely inane and potentially harmful.
Antis tend to say "problematic" ships "normalise" harmful dynamics in real life, ignoring that exploring these ideas in fiction is a safe way of engaging with darker topics and sometimes people do so to process personal trauma. Personally I've found that reading fanfiction about dark topics made me wayy more emotionally prepared to handle discussion of them in real life.
And, as I said, it's nearly impossible to draw a solid line between what should be allowed and what shouldn't be allowed. Age of consent is an arbitrary number that's chosen because legally you need a strict number if you're going to enforce the law, but a person 1 year older and 1 year younger than the age of consent aren't actually that much different. Plus the law varies from country to country, but antis tend to choose the US age of 18 because the US dominates the internet. Age-gaps between two non-minor characters get even more blurry!! And let's not forget that a ship between two men is way more likely to be flagged as pedophilia than a ship between a man and a woman. Imo if you can't make a concrete rule about it there's no point in making a rule at all.
Plus it's fiction, and not even mainstream fiction, so it's hardly gonna cause any significant shift in real life culture. These ships get criticised to hell and back in fan spaces and people get properly harassed over it, but there are plenty of professional writers portraying these things in well known media and don't get much flack for it at all - because it's way easier to tear down a fan, your equal, than a creator. It seems to me that the problem isn't really "normalising" these behaviours, because if that was the case mainstream media would be a much bigger contributor than fandom
For some reason, toxic/abusive ships are less commonly criticised despite being objectively harmful to the characters involved, and incest is the one people hate the most despite it being (imo) the one least likely to cause actual harm to the characters. Also depictions of rape and sexual abuse are usually considered off limits but you rarely get the same criticism of, say, depictions of murder. The sexual aspect of the topic seems more important than the actual harm.
AND THEN there's the fact that antis generally only argue against the ships that make them personally feel uncomfortable. Different people have different boundaries for what they consider too far, and I lose my shit every time I see antis shipping something I know other antis claim is the devil. And often the whole thing gets coopted by someone who doesn't like people shipping characters A and B because they ship B and C. ("You can't ship these unrelated characters because they're sibling-coded which makes the ship basically incest" is something I've seen a truly bonkers amount of times)
So yeah. That's the whole mess. Like I said I dont really care about whether or not antis follow me? I'm proship purely because I don't think this is a conversation that needs to be had at all. Like who cares But, go wild, romanticise the hell out of the most repulsive things!! It's nobody else's business but yours. But if I see a mutual who followed me first reblogging "any proshippers who follow me should explode and die teehee ^-^" ONE MORE TIME I might actually explode
#take what i say with a pinch of salt because im obviously biased and youre free to come to your own conclusions but. yknow#also i feel wayyyy safer around people who openly ship filth (affectionate) than people who insist everything they ship is Pure and Correct#because 1) ideas of 'purity' are largely based in unexamined bigotry and you never know when that's gonna jump out at you#and 2) i think it's important to consider the dark aspects of ships bc to some extent youre considering dark things that exist in real life#antis dont want to do that they want to hide it all under the carpet and pretend it's not there#I'd much rather discuss fictional teenagers being groomed and isnt that fucked up? and call things 'groomercore'#because how are you supposed to spot groomer tactics if you dont do that?#ask#shipping discourse
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[Navigation]
Last Updated: January 27th, 2024
Hello, and welcome to The House. Here are some rules that must be followed while inside The House (and outside, should You leave).
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No sexual NSFW. Shipping or suggestive is fine, the characters are all legal adults 18 or over, but NSFW will not be featured here.
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Potential heavy themes, like self harm, abuse, child abuse, etc, could be shown or implied. The Audience is allowed to ask almost anything of the PC, so please tread carefully in The House. All of this content will still be tagged appropriately.
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The House welcomes audiences from all over the universe, it does not matter if wolves, electric rats, ghosts, or anything else decides to interact with The House, they will be welcomed, even if not seen.
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Currently, there is no linear progression here. You are free to explore and ask about anything, though you could stumble into the game's plot should you find the right things or discover the clues... I won't be making posts to fill in gaps in the foreseeable future, so info gathering is up to you.
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Lost and uncertain what to send? Try treating the visuals like a video game! Interact with what you see, but you can always be creative, also.
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You may reply to this post with theories or things you've noticed if you'd like to be open to a discussion. It will not be a substitute for ooc asks, though, as I won't answer many questions here. It's for community use.
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Fanworks and NPC Disclaimer:
Disclaimer regarding NPCs created by The Audience:
NPCs created by The Audience do not belong to one particular member even if said member was the one to create the design using the in-game mechanics/sending commands, set the personality, name, etc. The NPCs created by The Audience are free for The Audience as a whole to use, roleplay with, and command as they wish. If you create an existing OC of yours with the tools provided by this blog, you must understand that the above applies and your OC as they exist on the blog will not belong to you. Likewise, their likeness, name, personality, etc, as they exist on this blog could be used outside of your and my control (see below).
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Regarding fan works:
As of writing this (Jan 7th, 2024) I don't believe there is nearly enough info about Tobai and/or his game to properly create a fanfiction/AU/AU Askblogs made by other users.
Just to be clear, in the future once important characters and in-game mechanics are well established then these types of fan works are free game. All I will ask is that all problematic content is not glorified/fetishised/normalised. You will be free to use the characters, setting, mechanics, and story as you wish for fanworks with proper credit, and do not claim characters as your own if they are AU designs of my own characters.
You are free to workshop AUs and OCs as you wish for now, but making a dedicated and potentially ongoing fanwork (askblog, fanfiction, comic, or similar projects) outside RP is discouraged.
Remember that headcannons and theories are different from AUs, and the former two are free reign from the get-go.
(TL;DR you can tell me about your AUs and ideas, roleplay with fan OCs, submit/post art of AU ideas, but please don't go making series-based content about it yet..!)
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okay but did bts say they are gay?? no. normalise being straight. you talk about being gay. no one said i was faints it. i’m against you acting like they are gay when they have not said so. don’t presume their sexuality. they could be gay but that doesn’t eliminate the fact that they also could be straight. girls are always kissing their friends and they are straight and ppl say ‘it’s just a little bit of fun’ but ‘oh look this male is being touchy with his male friend, i guess he is gay then’. the double standards are crazy. stop acting like you know them as well. acting like you personally know they are gay is toxic behaviour. in korea, they are more touchy. males are more comfortable with their male friends compared to the western society. they can hug, slap each other’s butts whatever, it means they are comfortable with each other. it doesn’t mean that they are showcasing what they do to each other behind the scenes. just because your views are different doesn’t mean your views are the same as theirs. it’s about societal construct. your society is different to theirs. have you slapped your female friend’s ass before? or kissed each other? does that make you gay? it’s all about intention. we don’t know them. we don’t know their intentions. that is why i say normalise platonic touch. they haven’t told us they are gay or that they are dating (whether it is each other or someone else) so it is safer to assume they are friends. people like you are the reason straight people are always questioned. you can be straight and support gay rights. but why can gay people never support straight ppl? always making everything about sexuality - it’s ridiculous. no one cares as much as they do except for the ppl they should be targeting. people like you probably go up to straight people and tell them that they cannot be 100% straight because you want your beliefs to be shelved in everyone’s lives. just stop. everyone should be comfortable in their sexuality without hurting one another. but clearly because of toxic fans, the boys can’t do that.
GIRLS ARE ALWAYS KISSING THEIR FRIENDS AND THEY ARE STRAIGHT- this is good my girlfriend needs to hear this🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This you?
I'm starting to wonder what you think gay is🤣🤣🤣🤣
You've been so inundated with performative bisexuality and queer baiting for the male gaze for years you are actually desensitized to gayness I see.
If same sex kissing is straight, then I'm the straightest person on earth and James Charles is straight too. Lil Nas X you did. You finally straight 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
And people wonder why merely holding hands in public or coming out is such a big deal to some of us.
You sound very ignorant to me.
I will tell you as a queer woman- no. I don't find kissing my female friends platonic at all. THE ACTUAL FUCK!
My girlfriend certainly don't find that platonic either💀 But sure, I'll kiss a straight man for laughs and gaslight him afterwards telling him it's just a friendly platonic kiss cos I'm gay😚
You sound stupid to me. Straight men keep arguing they can't be friends with women and yet you expect gay people to find nothing wrong with kissing each other and touching each other's bum.
Gay intimacy is a social construct? sure. Gay is all an illusion. It's not real. It's all in our heads sure Freud.
Have I slapped my female friend's bum before? Or kissed a girl??? Did that make me gay?
Geez, I dunno🥴
But the thought of it does make my pussy wet tho. In a straight way of course😏
Can't be gay. This pussy straight as an arrow🤣
"That is why I say normalize platonic touch."
I know you think you helping, you not sis.
Just really think deep about what you are saying for as long as possible- but go do it on your own blog in your own space somewhere else just not here.
There is a clear distinction between heterosexual relationships and homosexual relationships and the fact straight people like yourself think that line is blurred is telling of just how much gay culture is appropriated and normalized as part of heterosexual behaviors especially in mainstream media cos that shit don't fly in real life.
The fact you think gay behaviors corrupt straight relationships or the perception of straight relationships is telling of everything that is wrong with straight men and straight women.
Don't conflate online culture with real life culture because those two are in conflict with each other. The performances people put up online in the media for commercial gains does not reflect their values or the complexities of the social structures they live within.
They are so any celebrities who come online and do gay shit and pretend they are down with the gays but go home and live a very homophobic life- you know who I'm talking about. No. Normal straight girls in real life are not walking around kissing eachother. They only do that when the cameras are rolling and for clicks. So about you not normalize that behavior with rhetorics like the ones you spew in here unintelligently and unwelcomed.
It's not our fault that straight men compartmentalize their feelings and can feel emotionally attracted to other men but reserve their sexual attraction only for women, treating women as sexual objects they cannot befriend while reserving their love and admiration and respect only for their male counterparts under the disguise of bromance and friendship. The jig is up. Pack it up.
That sort of compartmentalization is what a real construct is. All men are gay in that regard and straight is the societal construct. Deal.
Love is love. It's just measured by degrees and intensity but it's the SAME LOVE. I can have platonic feelings for a friend and still fuck her if I'm horny. I don't even need to be attracted physically to her. You know friends with benefit exist in our vocabulary for a reason right?
Platonic love is just romantic love in a seed form. It may never mature into blossoming romance but the love is the same.
And gay people can have platonic feelings as well. Gay people can have platonic friendships too. So calling your bias's relationship to another man as platonic is not a conclusive statement on his sexuality. Where did you get this idea that platonic means straight???? Don't answer that.
That's like saying gay people cannot have degrees of love and emotional attraction and attachments. And the only love we feel is sexual love. Can you at least drop the ignorance? Your homophobia here is enough.
And what makes you think your interpretation and description of someone's relationship as platonic overrides my interpretation and description of their relationship as romantic?? What makes your opinion superior to mine? We are both opining aren't we?
Your opinion is not more valid than my opinion. just because my opinion makes you uncomfortable don't mean it's wrong or that I am not entitled to it. You are so full of yourself.
We don't know them, you are right. If they are straight there's nothing wrong with that- IF THEY ARE GAY THEY IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT EITHER.
STOP ASSUMING THEY ARE STRAIGHT. ASSUMING THEY ARE STRAIGHT IS EQUALLY ASSUMING THEIR SEXUALITY DUMBASS.
Oh- You mean because of toxic fans they can't queer bait in peace? 🤔
GOOD. WE GON PUT OUR FOOT ON THEIR NECKS TILL THEY STOP GAY FISHING IF THEY ARE NOT GAY. IF YOU ARE NOT GAY DON'T ACT GAY. ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT.
I think you are all over the place and don't know what you are about with this one- if you hate shippers, you do know not everyone who ships them ships them romantically right? And you do know we shipping them romantically NOT because of shit like this-
And I love how actual gay people within their culture and industry have said time and time again they are attacked for holding hands down the street, kissing or displaying the least public affection on a daily but somehow bimbos like you still want to call this homoeroticism "their culture" as if gay people don't exist in South Korea. Don't you ever get tired of acting the fool?
And you are gonna sit here and tell me straight men are uncomfortable with being shipped while pointing out simultaneously, in the same breath how skinship is a normal part of Korean culture. Cool.
Know what else is a normal part of korean kpop culture? SHIPPING. SHIPPING IS A NORMAL PART OF KPOP. THEY INVENTED THE DAMN THING SO LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE AND LET US SHIP OUT SHIP IN PEACE.
THEY CAN'T BE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH US SHIPPING THEM IF THEY THEMSELVES CURATE, PROMOTE AND PARTICIPATE IN THEIR OWN SHIP AND SHIPPING CULTURE ESPECIALLY FOR COMMERCIAL GAINS. FREE US.
If you are worried we can't tell platonic relationships, skinship culture etc from romantic relationships rest assured we can. Drop the sanctimonious bull crap.It's why we ship all ships but only support one. You can rest now.
THAT SAID, SUPPORT JIKOOK. THEY REAL🤭
GOLDY
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I’m not Indian but the thing you said about body shaming from parents really hits. I do come from an immigrant background though and I feel like a lot of our cultures have normalised this behaviour.
But even my dad who is not an immigrant (yk those older white men who marry significantly younger women from 2nd/3rd world countries? An elder passport bro if you will lmao), once made a comment in a highly derogatory tone about my ass being too big. It wasn’t really sexual but more so a comment on my weight gain at the time, but bro I was 12 and I still think about it😭
People talk about body positivity a lot but growing up chubby/with curves is deeply traumatic and it makes me sad to think about how many of us experienced this
that was so wrong of your padre 😭😭
i s2g i feel like all non-white parents are more or less like this, and i guess even some white parents. its such a shame bc i remember being 13-14 and i felt hideous like nobody would even want to look at me and my mom would slut shame me and im like ??? babe im ugly and fat,, no part of me is "sexy" or "desirable" ALSO IM 13??? but she would talk like i was seducing every man in the city lmfao
I S2G the trauma of my early teens fcked me up ngl. its so heartbreaking to just transition from girlhood to adolescence and coming to terms with your burgeoning womanhood. like that's such a complicated experience to make peace with??? until yesterday i was a child but now i am still a child but people dont look at me like that, weird men on the streets catcall you, say disgusting things when you're within earshot, your mom thinks you're a whore even tho u literally do not know what exactly sex involves, strangers are sending u dick pics and porn gifs, now u have to worry about other people's intentions bc they might be trying to "take advantage" of you when a few months ago, they saw u as an innocent child. if someone gropes you, you hate yourself, you feel disgusting and dirty and no one tells you its not your fault. you feel afraid of people, of how they look at you, of what they might do to you, you dont want to be seen, you dont want to be touched. if you tell someone you were assaulted, sometimes they tell you its because you were careless or that you were asking for it or worse that you secretly enjoyed it. you cant eat or you eat too much, food becomes a source of shame. you want to feel like you have value, like you have power so you try to "own" your sexuality. fine if everyone thinks im a whore anyway i might as well "own" it except that it literally doesn't help. you feel worse. you dont know who you are because your whole identity revolves around how others perceive u and not what u have to offer as a human being. u think talent is worthless if u arent pretty. i could go on and on
literally female adolescence is a hellscape and every girl should get a medal for surviving it.
im sorry for my long (probably triggering) ramble but i just had to let it out lmao
im sorry that we've had to go thru this. praying for all girls and future women<333
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The list, Q1
When I completed my christmas calendar in December I made a list of (for me) new series I'd like to watch in 2024. This is what I've got so far:
Griselda
(Netflix)
🦩🦩🦩🦩🦩
This was mine and my boyfriend's mutual project. We don't really have the same taste in series, but sometimes they overlap. Like, when it both have drugs, murders and Sofia Vergara. This one's really Sofia in her prime, she does an amazing job portraying the strong, targeted drug queen of Miami. Highly recommend!
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Heartbreak High
(Netflix)
🦩🦩🦩🦩
This has come up as a sugestion for me for a long time, since it's in my absolute most common genre; teenage dramas with queer elements. That also comes with some high expectations when I finally get around to watch it. Heartbreak High mostly lives up to this, there's a lot of well developed characters and a story that reminds me a lot of Sex Education. I'm looking forward to how season 2 (drops April 11th) will develop the story. And yes, Quinni is the best!
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The Unlisted
(Netflix)
🦩🦩🦩🦩
This was practically all my childhood nightmares come to life and I was so hooked by the ever thrilling story. I sat in angst cheering so hard for the kids to succeed with their mission. Looses one flamingo mostly because it ended with a cliffhanger and then got canceled.
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One Day
(Netflix)
🦩🦩
First and foremost, I do have a big problem with these kind of stories. It concists of building up a lot of hope, just to tear it down by the end. I don't really see the fascination in that. But I did mostly like the movie from 2011 and therefore it felt obvious I should check this out. I really liked the production, the environments and the overall look of it. But I was not that impressed by the actors', more specifically the leads', performance. Big bonus for Essie Davis as Alison though, would love to see more of her.
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Never have I ever
(Netflix)
🦩🦩🦩
This is also a series that's been lying around in my list, waiting to be seen, for a while. I can't say it entirely lived up to my expectations, but it definitely has its highlights and insights. I like the comedy-drama-mix, cultural representation and the adults. But I'm having trouble with a lot of Devi's personality and how they handle queer representation. From time to time I mostly found it a bit boring.
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Everything now
(Netflix)
🦩🦩🦩🦩
This was HEAVY on so many levels, I had to watch this from time to time spread out over several weeks, mixed up with lighter stuff. But it was also SO good! Not having ED myself I can't say weither this was a good representation of it, but I really felt I got to be inside Mia's brain and understand anorexia a bit better. I liked how not everything was about that though, it was also just normal teenage life, because yeah, why shouldn't it? I also liked how everyone's sexuality was normalised.
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My life with the Walter boys
(Netflix)
🦩🦩🦩
This was the kind of series that got me giggling, hiding behind a pillow several times. Not cringey, more like I really felt their feelings and cheered for them not to make bad decissions. It's a beutiful story and a bit like a teenage version of Chesapeake Shores meeting all Hallmark christmas movies. The queer representation leaves a lot to wish for. And I can't stop thinking about the fact that Jackie moves in to a family, directly sees some of them as siblings (Parker, for example) while she has no trouble falling in love with two others. Isn't that a bit...strange? What am I missing?
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The White Lotus
(HBO)
🦩🦩🦩
My immidiate description of this series is; odd. It was not at all what I expected and I'm having trouble describing it at all. Is it good? Well, it's not bad..? There are definitely some amazing cast performances from i.e. Jennifer Coolidge, Aubrey Plaza, Haley Lu Richardson, Leo Woodall (I actually found him to be better here than in One day), Murray Bartlett and Jake Lacy. The constant background music is mostly just annoying, but otherwise the sets and production is great.
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Smiley
(Netflix)
🦩🦩🦩🦩🦩
Don't even know how to start here, because I was kind of floored by this. I binged it all in one night and I changed between crying and laughing the whole time. It's a wonderful, cute, well-written, queer love story set in the city of my dreams (Barcelona). The agonising feelings of falling in love are so relatable and so are the challenges meet by friends and family. This is a slow burn, opposites-attract story for when you just want to feel good. Bring tissues!
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Other highlights and rewatches:
Young Royals season 3; one of the best last episodes ever, even caught the eye of my very hesitant boyfriend.
Modern Family; when the world's in shambles - go back to comfort.
Blown away season 4; who knew a reality show about glasblowing would be this thrilling? I've saved the finally for a rainy day.
Young Sheldon season 7; last season is droping one episode a week. I'll sure miss this!
Glamorous; I was very sad to find out this was cancelled, but a rewatch still makes me happy!
XO, Kitty; I'm getting more impatient to hear what's next, give me season 2 now!
But, the biggest thing dropping during these first months was obviously;
Heartstopper season 3 will drop in October!!🍂
See you in June for the next report!
#heartstopper#griselda#heartbreak high#the unlisted#one day#never have i ever#everything now#my life with the walter boys#the white lotus#smiley#netflix#hbo#disney+#young royals#modern family#blown away#young sheldon#glamorous#xo kitty
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Why are queer people so insistent on only queer people playing queer roles? It is pigeonholing queer people in a way and assuming/forcing them into playing themselves when they might not want to. Another thing they don't understand is that big names pull in a big audience. If someone spends 100 mil on making and promoting a movie and they have to give a percentage of the profit to theaters/streaming services then what are the chances some unknown queer actor will draw a huge audience. Unlikely. At least big names are getting more queer representation on the screen. I'm asking this by the way because of the backlash against Harry doing MP. I saw an old IG post by gaytimes and the comments were all complaining about another 'straight' actor taking the role. Why don't queer people realize that closeted queer people exist? Especially in billion dollar industries. Just because they're 'out' doesn't mean that everyone is. I don't understand why closeted queer people or potentially closeted are treated with such disrespect and as if they don't exist. Queer people will be the first to throw tantrums when people assume they're straight but THEY assume that everyone is straight unless they've CO. They assume people are straight by default. So they're very hypocritical. Also why should actors have to CO to play a queer role? You don't do that in any other career. I just hate how they complain about people assuming sexualities when they do it themselves. It makes me feel really unsympathetic towards them but I hope you can change my mind
Hi, anon!
I'm not here to change your mind, but i'll explain some things to you to help you understand where people are coming from.
Queer people are a minority and historically suppressed group of people. They don't have the same rights as straight people. They are discriminated against and looked at as an abomination. Queer people want the same rights as straight people and to be accepted as they are. In order for that to happen straight people need to be exposed to queer people and learn that they're normal people and not to be treated as second class citizens. Being queer needs to be normalised. If straight people witness two guys holding hands in the street enough times, at a point they will stop turning their heads everytime. Exposure is so important for normalisation.
Since queer people are a minority and Hollywood traditionally heterosexually orientated (man and woman falls in love the end), it's hard for queer people to get noticed and get opportunities to get attention in the mainstream entertainment world. Out queer people playing straight is almost unheard of. So they're fighting to at least be able to play the queer ones. Without getting the opportunity to get attention, queer people won't be able to normalise being queer and they won't get representation.
It's also important for young closeted people to have out queer role models. It will validate them and aid their coming out. The more people who come out, the more straight people will be exposed to queerness and it will be normalised.
So when Hollywood makes movies, when Vogue wants to have a man in a dress on their cover or Hollywood makes a gay romcom, many queer people feel it's important to put queer people in these positions. For normalisation of queer people, to create queer role models and for queer progression. Casting a straight man to play a gay man is also seen as queer appropriation, like it's wrong to cast a white woman to play Pocahontas.
What complicates things even more is queer closeted people. They often seek out queer roles and enter queer spaces. The issue is that closeted queer people won't help normalise queerness, won't give closeted teenagers role models, won't give queer people representation and won't help with queer progression. Some queer people only want out queer people in queer roles or in mainstream media to represent them. Some go further and only want bisexuals to play bisexuals and gay people to play gay. Others recognise that closeted queer people are also queer people and should have the same opportunities as out queer people to take queer roles and enjoy queer culture.
If closeted queer people are suspected to be queer and have stereotypical queer looks and mannerisms, they are usually left alone and permitted to take on queer roles, enjoy queer culture and explore their queerness. However, if closeted queer people are straight passing and do not fit the queer stereotypes, heteronormativity will make even queer people believe they're straight. The irony here is that people won't automatically think people are straight by default if being queer is normalised.
Complicating matters further is straight people deliberately taking advantage of, appropriating and enjoying queer culture. They're not giving queers representation, but they want the queer dollar. It's counterproductive and hinders queer progression. Queerbaiting is very frowned upon, but it can be hard to distinguish between straight people appropriating queer culture and queer aesthetic and closeted queer people queercoding and being themselves.
None of this is easy, but i think it's important to listen to queer voices and understand queer people's wants and needs as a suppressed group. Queer people still struggle to get ahead, get the same respect as straight people and enjoy the same opportunities as straight people. In order for that to change they need to be given a platform.
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It's really so amazing to see some change in Kpop. It's small and there is much more extremely serious issues that need to be dealt with but I'm happy that 1) female and male idols are interacting a lot with each other. You have that one lesserafim member the maknae?? who has like a show I think? and she interviewed members of a boy group the boyz which is great. Male and female idols are doing dance challenges together. There was some HYBE show where all the HYBE groups male and female were on and there was many many interactions. This is so good. Obviously there are still a lot of restrictions and idols still don't react during award shows and stuff but it really is the small stuff that counts. I really think BTS should be somewhat accredited for this change. They're extremely kind and warm to their fellow company mates, they opened up spaces for idols to talk about mental health many times, recently with their book, and Yoongi was seen smoking in a recent MV which he said was on purpose to help normalise these things in Kpop. BTS have always lowkey sung about sex especially Joon but it's so refreshing to see Jungkook openly embrace it which will benefit everyone. Also HYBE which exists because of BTS is normalising a lot of stuff. The enhypen sexy dance with FEMALE dancers is the first thing to pop in my head. This is really just the beginning. Sorry for the long rant but as someone who has been a listener of kpop since 2012 it is so nice to see all of this happen.
hi friend!! as someone who has only gotten into kpop the last couple of years, reading this from a long term fan was super cool!! like i have seen so many compilations of members avoiding women like the plague to circumvent scandals before they start. or like how jungkook had to apologize for whatever type of relationship he had with his tattoo artist... its extremely sad.
so after all that, to see 4th gen idols having less restrictions in regards to their personal relationships is amazing!!
like seven is not the most deep complex song obvi, but its symbolic of something HUGE yk?? with all of the members solo projects, they're reclaiming their own agency (also as asian men in general, i had a queer of color theory course last semester and it essentially discusses how all poc can be considered queer bc they aren't allowed sexual autonomy ((ie asian men being excluded from heteronormative masculinity and therefore, having their sexual behaviors be categorized as "othered" or "immoral")) and are purposefully excluded from the heteronormative which goes hand and hand w whiteness,,,, but this a whole other convo shbfhsdbfhsb)). or like set me free pt 2 is so important bc out of all the members, jimin is the most scrutinized, infantilized, fetishized, etc etc etc. so bts solo projects have just been a huge fuck you to all of it n it makes me a v v v proud army lol!!
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oh the conversation about fetishisation of sapphics... that stuff drives me up the wall. cishet women are often as guilty as cishet men. affection between women is so normalised that two women can make out with each other and people will still rationalise that they're friends. why does no one take sapphic relationships seriously? i'm not talking about aro lesbians btw, that's a completely different thing. and i don't want to say that the lines can't be blurred between romantic and platonic and sexual if that's what the people involved want. but there's still an issue of sapphic relationships being trivialised and taken less seriously just because it's two women. i'm talking about cishet women (and cishet men) who don't see romantic and sexual love between women as real or serious. they see sapphic relationships as frivolous and stupid, a costume they can put on, a porn category and nothing more. it's a joke or game to them and then when they (cishet women) engage in traditionally romantic behaviour with their friends, they find it ridiculous or offensive when someone understandably assumes they're wlw. it's so frustrating
It’s not even that affection between women is normalized (which it is compared with men), it’s more about how you can make out and even have sex with another woman and people are still going to think you’re just friends and that you’re straight.
Sapphic relationships are not taken seriously and are not seen as real in this society, because society doesn’t think a relationship is valid if there’s no man involved. That’s why when it comes to sapphics, coming out might be harder in the sense of people not believing you.
And I totally agree with you that cishet women are also at fault in this case. They want to hide how they invalidate and promote prejudice against sapphics with “we’re also a minority, don’t put the blame on us, cishet men are the ones you should really blame”. And that’s just not true. Sure, cishet men are also to be blamed, but cishet women are still in power comparing with sapphics, they’re still the oppressors when it comes to being cis and straight.
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