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#AND if they have long hair?! AWOOOOO
ad-hawkeye · 2 months
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i fear we need your otome boy list
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anon.............. here...... please feel free to psychoanalyze me based on this venn diagram....
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MERASMUS WRITE HO- Wait not lemme stop shouting Merasmus writes horny fanfiction canonically!?!? Tell me more! Please. :)
Scream Fortress V update page
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[Image ID: Screenshot of text from the tf2 Scream Fortress V update page. The subtitle says "Bound in human skin! Written in human blood! Covered, for some reason, in tiny human hairs! They're..." and it's titled "SPELL BOOKS!" in a spooky orange font. The body text says "The scariest part about these books is that they AREN'T REAL BOOKS AT ALL! They're self-published! Feel the desperation dripping from their not professionally-edited pages! Written by sad, stay-at-home wizards with big dreams and rudimentary Photoshop skills, these poorly-assembled tomes contain magic spells of unspeakable lethality nestled in between long passages of copyrighted characters having sex with each other! Awooooo!" End ID]
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Reservations II
Part I
Timeline: Apprentice; seven years ago [three years before the Red Plague]
So far, the trek into the woods is pleasant. Given how eerily quiet the area is, the fact it is so nice to walk through is a head-scratcher.
At this point, the two young magicians are hand in hand, carefully traversing an area dense with the roots of trees and other foliage. Time to time one of them slips, only for the other to yank them upright.
For Lyra, it brings up memories of when she used to walk along the river bank in her village. Of course, the forest bordering the body of water she once lived close to was far livelier, and far sunnier than the one she’s in right now. Regardless, the mess of roots in this part of the environment reminds her of that place all the same.
“Hang on hang on...” Asra murmurs, pausing to lean against a boulder. He lowers his hood, his forehead glistening from the exertion of the trek.
Lyra gets the water sack from his bag and hands it to him. He uncorks the mouth of it, putting some in his cupped hand so Faust can get some sips before he gets a few mouthfuls.
He hands it off to Lyra, the latter taking sip before corking it again.
“How much further?” Lyra asks, leaning on the boulder with him. She takes one of her journals and fans him with it, gently tousling his cloud-white locks.
“Pft,” Asra chuckles, gently waving off her motions, earning a tongue stuck out at him.
In turn, Asra’s eyebrows rise, jaw slightly slack.
“...what?” Lyra inquired, hands on her hips. She can see the mischief cooking in those purple-pink irises.
“Ohh, so that’s where Neha learned it from!” he gasps.
Oops! Faust chimes in.
“Oh my-” Lyra sputters, soon exclaiming, “Lies! Slander!” Her attempt to yank his hood over his head was thwarted by his swift feet.
“Then where did she-?” he ducks out of the way from her hands again, laughing. “Pft haha! Then where did she-?”
“Asra I swear to the gods!-”
She chases after him, mindful of the roots below her feet. Asra’s playful, teasing laughter echoes around them.
It takes a while, but Lyra eventually catches up with him. Once within reach, she grabs onto his shoulders and pins him against a nearby tree.
“Gotcha!” she wheezes, laughing with him.
“I give, I give!” Asra surrenders, startling a bit when Lyra crashes into him.
“Whoa, are you okay?” Asra supports her with one arm, the other frantically grabbing for the water bag so she can get a drink.
Here! Faust helps him get it out of his bag. The two of them set Lyra, sitting upright against the base of the tree to stabilize her.
“Slow down, you’ll get dizzy,” Asra warns when his friend attempts to chug a few mouthfuls. He winces when she chokes, spitting up some of the water. Asra hands her a small towel from her bag, shaking his head.
“Are you okay?” Asra asks, carefully rubbing his hand up and down her back.
She nods, coughing.
“Ugh,” Lyra groans, grimacing. “Hang on let’s... let’s just stay here...”
“Good idea,” Asra replies, settling against the tree beside her.
The sun’s still up. Taking a moment wouldn’t hurt anyone...
They have time.
Later...
“We’re lost, aren’t we?”
Lyra isn’t remotely mad; the two of them had gotten off track because of her, after all.
Unfortunately, her anxiety level is through the roof. She’s gripping Asra’s hand a bit too tight, which he reminds intermittently as he’s searching for familiar landmarks.
They’ve been at this for about an hour. The sun isn’t dipping in a downward descent yet, but Lyra’s feeling the pressure of time. She did want to meet Asra’s friend before the sun set...
“Hmm...” Asra stands on a boulder with a relatively flat top. He’s looking along the trees, trying to see if he’s marked any of them.
“Anything?” Lyra asks, pulling her cloak a bit tighter over herself as she joins him atop the boulder.
“Yeah, we’re lost,” Asra sighs. He didn’t look defeated however.
“So what are we gonna do?” Lyra murmurs, trying not to panic.
Awoo, Faust says.
“Huh?” Asra and Lyra look to Faust curiously.
Awooooo, Faust repeats.
Something clicks in Asra’s expression, which frightens Lyra a little bit. Gods knew what these two knew what the other was getting at-
“AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Asra hollers, startling Lyra.
“What the hell?!” Lyra exclaims. “Asra, is your head okay?”
She didn’t bump him too hard into the tree, did she?
“Trust me, I know what I’m doing—”
All Lyra can do is stare incredulously at her friend as he lets out some more howls.
Yup, she knocked him into the tree too hard. Nothing to be done to save him—
Far, far in the distance, a howl answers Asra’s own.
“What the fuck...” Lyra murmurs as Asra whoops gleefully.
“She heard me!”
“‘She’?” Lyra’s exasperated at him.
“C’mon,” Asra hops down the boulder, beckoning her to follow. “Inanna’s that way.”
“Inanna is your friend?”
“No, she’s a wolf.”
“...what sort of a world am I in right now?” Lyra murmurs to herself, shaking her head.
After the bespectacled teen hops down from the boulder, she starts jogging after him, unsure what she was going to see next.
Later...
Inanna is indeed a wolf. A big, giant wolf.
Asra and Lyra walked about fifteen minutes in the direction of the answering howls—with Asra howling intermittently—before Asra greets this large wolf.
Lyra can’t help but feel anxious that a giant apex predator is leading the way back to their intended destination. Still, she follows, holding Asra’s hand.
“Inanna’s a friend of mine and my friend,” Asra says. “I’ve known him longer than her though, so there’s that.”
Inanna lets out what sounds like a disgruntled huff.
“Yeah, I know he likes you better,” Asra laughs.
Lyra blinks, shaking her head.
Eventually, they come up to a path bordered by familiar warding charms. Lyra can feel the blanket of protection of Asra’s magic as they walk through.
"Are they to ward off spirits or to ward off animals?" Lyra asks, wracking her brain.
"A bit of both," Asra says with a nonchalant shrug. "Ah, here we are!"
Lyra looks up and halts immediately, jaw slack at the sight before her.
A massive, old tree sits on top of a squat little hut. At maximum, to her estimation, the part of the hut before it’s a roof adds up about a foot and a half taller than Asra.
“Hang on...” Asra walks up to the hut, knocking on it in a peculiar pattern.
Before Lyra can ask why, she can feel the ripples of his magic wafting away from where his knuckles rap upon the wooden door. With ease, Asra opens the door, partially closing it behind him. There’s Asra’s voice, calling out to the walls within.
Someone answers in turn, their voice gravelly.
Lyra attempts to get closer, but Inanna moves to block her, letting out a huff.
“Okay, okay,” Lyra murmurs, arms raised as she backs up a bit.
There’s quite a bit of back and forth between Asra and his friend. The latter sounds disgruntled at best, annoyed at worst.
It sounded like it was going to be a while...
Lyra settles on top of a stump, and waits.
“...’s a weird place to sleep.”
“You have to give her credit though: she can sleep almost anywhere.”
“...sounds like someone I know...”
“Pft ha ha!”
Lyra jerks awake when Asra gently taps her upper arm.
“Pft haha,” Asra greets her, coughing. “Rise and shine!”
“How long was I out?” Lyra grumbles, rubbing her eyes.
“Not long,” Asra reassures. He helps her to her feet, giving her a wet wash cloth for her to wash her face. “Ready to meet my friend?”
At that, Lyra timidly lowers the wash cloth, her some of her short hair sticking to her face.
“Uh...”
Asra blinks, hands on his hips. “Really? You’re nervous now?”
“It’s one thing to talk about it and the other to actually go through with it.”
“Would it help you if I told you he’s a bit worried about meeting you too?”
Lyra lets out a wry laugh, working fast to move her hair back into place. “A little.”
Asra helps her to tame her hair, Faust giving her input every so often. Once they’re done, Asra replaces Lyra’s glasses to her face.
Pretty! Faust coos.
Lyra fiercely blushes, tugging another laugh out of Asra.
“Faust you’re too nice...” Lyra murmurs, tugging her cloak around herself as she follows Asra to the front of the hut.
Not nice! Truth! Faust replies, flicking her tongue out at her. Lyra sticks her tongue at her in turn, smiling.
Asra knocks on the door. “Muri! We’re coming in!”
With that, he opens the door. When Lyra hesitates, Asra beckons her to follow. She’s only convinced to follow him in when he—and Faust—pull puppy eyes at her.
When she enters, a massive wave of heat smacks into her. Not minding it, she takes a moment to look around from where she stands.
There’s a fireplace, a pile pf rugs on the floor, a table and three chairs...
In the corner, sitting upon a low stool, is what appears to be a man. He’s cloaked, and Lyra can swear she could see the glinting of metal coming from around his neck.
“Hi Muriel,” Asra greets, setting his bag haphazardly on the floor. “This is Lyra!” He stands aside a bit, gesturing to the bashful friend behind himself.
“...hi...” Lyra squeaks, gripping the strap of her pack.
“Oh, no no,” Asra turns to her now, gently patting her shoulders with his palms. “It’s okay he won’t hurt you-”
“...you shouldn’t have brought her... if she’s that afraid,” Muriel grunts.
“It’s okay,” Asra reassures him, quickly turning back to Lyra with a small smile to ease her. He whispers conspiratorially, “He isn't used to people, but I put in a few good words for you to him.“
Lyra shakes her head at him, exasperated. Still... she came out all this way to meet his friend.
Shck. Shck... shck...
Lyra leans over a bit, looking past Asra to see the cloaked man whittling. Inanna lies in front of the fireplace, looking content.
“...you whittle?” Lyra asks, taking a few more steps into the hut before sitting down on the ground.
Muriel didn’t answer, but he paused long enough to hear her. He returns to his task without another word.
“He’s really good at it,” Asra whispers, closing the door. He pulls a fur from the pile, plopping himself upon it beside her. He scoots, patting the space for her to sit on.
“What does he make?” Lyra murmurs in turn, glancing at him.
“Little trinkets,” Asra explains. “He’s made me a fox one.”
“Aww,” she smiles.
“Maybe he’ll make you something one day.”
“Haha,” Lyra laughs. She knows where this discussion is heading.
It was a conversation that cycled in and out of their little talks: what kind of animal would you be? Asra always picked a fox or a snake. Lyra on the other hand, she couldn’t ever pick.
“Has he whittled Faust?” Lyra asks, giggling.
Yes! Faust confirms, slithering her way out of Asra’s scarf, heading for the floor. Asra helps to gently guide her down.
“She looks perfect each time too,” their fluffy-haired friend adds.
“...not the first ones,” Muriel murmurs, pausing to check his handiwork.
“She was much smaller,” Asra replies. “You did your best.“
“Mm...”
Lyra blinks, soon remembering what she wanted to ask.
“How long have you two known each other?”
“Seven years?” Asra hazards a guess.
“...almost ten,” Muriel corrects.
“Wow,” Lyra murmurs, nodding in awe. “That’s a deep bond.”
“You can say that again,” Asra says, eyes twinkling with fondness.
From there, it was primarily the two of them doing most of the talking. They spoke about spells they were learning—Lyra from her teacher, and Asra from both his own and Walterine—, guessing what Bảo was going to be making for dinner that night, and whether or not the rains would start early or late this year.
Once in a while, Muriel would add in his thoughts. Lyra’s delighted when he does, but is forced to tamper it down lest Muriel close up like a timid clam. Asra was exempt from it, having been his friend for so long. 
“Oh!” Lyra gasps, grabbing Asra’s upper arm and pointing toward the fireplace. “Look! Look, look they’resnuggledup!!!”
Asra snickers at her enthusiasm, turning to see Faust coiled up atop of Inanna.
“Gosh she must be in heaven,” Lyra chuckles, lying down on her front. She rests her chin atop her folded hands, admiring the animals’ contentment.
“Who?” Asra asks, lying down on his back beside her.
“Both.“
“Pft ha, yeah...”
They dig into their packs, dividing the remainder of the snacks among themselves. Asra offered half of his halves to Muriel. He declined any with meat, but he took the pumpkin bread.
“Walterine’s actually the baker’s cousin,“ Asra points out to Muriel. “That’s how I get that spot in front of her shop every Masquerade, and every once in a while.”
Muriel takes another bite of the pumpkin loaf, eyebrow raised.
“She lets you keep all your earnings, right?” Lyra asks.
“Yeah; that’s why I hang around so much,” Asra nods, finishing off a cookie.
Lyra shakes her head, chuckling. She turns her head to the small window of the hut, and jumps to her feet.
“Asra!” Lyra shouts, rushing to pack her stuff. “Asra, it’s almost sundown!“
Asra swears under his breath, rushing to pack his stuff too. “Sorry Faust,” he apologizes, scooping her up and letting her settle in his scarf.
Muriel watches them rush, slowly getting to his feet. Inanna follows suit, ambling to the door. She paws at it, whining.
“Hold on...” Muriel rumbles, lumbering over to open the door. She darts out, only to turn around and sit on her haunches, tail lazily thumping against the dirt.
“...I’ll lead you back,” Muriel murmurs, wrapping his cloak closer to himself.
“Thanks Muri,” Asra says earnestly, smiling.
Once they triple check everything, Muriel leads the way. He’s followed by Asra, Lyra, and Inanna takes up the rear.
Later...
As they approach the border where the forest meets the edge of the Temple District, Muriel is getting visibly anxious.
“Is he going to be okay?” Lyra whispers to Asra. They’re hand in hand behind his friend, Inanna close behind.
Guards mean, Faust answers.
“Yeah...” Asra murmurs. “We don’t want him seen by the guards.”
“Why?”
“It’s a long story,” he replies. “I’ll tell you after dinner.”
Before long, Muriel stops behind the last bit of dense foliage before it opens up to where he’d be exposed.
“This is it,” Muriel murmurs.
“Ah,” Lyra exhales, seeing a set of three moving lanterns in the distance. “Looks like my uncles and aunt are coming to get us...”
“Thanks Muri,” Asra turns to his friend, stepping a bit past the cover of foliage. “We can take it from here.”
“Mm...”
Lyra turns to the tall man, giving him a small smile. “It was nice to meet you.”
“...”
“...?“ Lyra turns to Asra, looking unsure how to take Muriel’s lack of response.
Before Asra can say anything, Muriel mumbles something.
“I beg your pardon?” Lyra asks, looking up at him.
“...nicemeetingyoutoo,” Muriel mutters, turning away from her.
Lyra couldn’t help the smile at him.
“Lyra!” her uncles calls, closer now.
“Here!” she and Asra respond in kind. The pair quickly bid Muriel farewell before they rush off, hand in hand.
Once the two magicians meet up with Lyra’s family—after James chastised the both of them for losing track of time—they go to have dinner at Bảo’s.
It’s standard fare, a small spread of little dishes. Neha and Asra at times have small arguments over which plate was theirs, until Lyra broke it up by dividing the plates evenly in half.
Overall, it was a good dinner, and Lyra wouldn’t have it any other way.
Later that night...
Asra is lying down on the floor of Lyra’s room, on top of a mat. Lyra is settled on top of her bed, peering over the edge to him.
“...he’s a former gladiator?” Lyra murmurs. It made some sense why he wanted to stay away from the general populace of Vesuvia. It also confirms that she did see a collar on him.
“Yeah,” Asra replies. “He really does not like people much, and the guards are even worse.”
“I can’t entirely blame him,” Lyra murmurs. “From what I heard, the arena isn’t as attended as well once one of their gladiators literally walked out the door.”
Asra nods. “Serves them right,” he mutters, pulling the blanket over him.
“You going to sleep?” Lyra chuckles.
“Gonna try to,” Asra says, exhaling.
Lyra drums her fingers on the side of her bed, thinking.
“Y’know,” she murmurs, “there’s room for one more up here.“
Asra bolts upright, looking up at her like she grew another head. “I dunno if your uncle would let me over anymore.”
“Hey, I’m the one offering,” Lyra reasons, scooting over to make room. “If he’s gonna get mad at anyone, it’ll be me.”
“All right, your call,” Asra murmurs, getting up to join her.
It is a snug fit, the two of them. They have to squish together in order for Asra to not fall off.
His head is tucked under Lyra’s chin, both of their arms wrapped around each other loosely.
“Your heart is loud,” Asra laughs, earning a poke in the side from Lyra.
“Yours is too!” she retorts, the two of them laughing.
Soon enough, the day’s activities catch up with them. They fall asleep together, snuggled like a pair of cats.
It’s the best rest either of them had in a long time.
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Fate/Requiem: Chapter 1
Once upon a time, there was a great war. It happened long ago, before I was born. And then it ended, and the world entered an age of peace.
In the modern era, each and every person held within their heart a tiny Holy Grail, which was nothing more or less than that person's preordained destiny. And each and every person was capable of summoning a Servant allotted them by fate, in accordance with the guidance of the Grail.
Servants were an information resource by nature, accumulated throughout human history. Their souls were enshrined in the Throne of Heroes, a place which transcended the bounds of space and time. By 'downloading' them from this Throne, it was possible to manifest them in our world.
The shape of the world changed greatly after the war. This town was born anew - reorganised into city units, known collectively as Mosaic City. Among them was Akihabara, the Maritime City, which I called home. Sea levels had risen dramatically as a result of global warming, and now the city quite literally bordered on the ocean. The Kanda river's name was nothing more than a vestige of the pre-war era; in reality, it was nothing more than a canal through which sea water flowed.
This town was watched over by the Holy Grail, and not a day went by when its citizens did not partake of its bounties. Those survivors from before the war had been given the opportunity to obtain a Grail upon its conclusion, while those young enough to have been born after the war, like Karin, possessed one within their hearts from birth.
The Grail had brought immortality to the masses. The principal causes of death in the old world – biological factors such as ageing, genetic degradation, infectious diseases, viruses and malignant cancers – had all been conquered. By expending Command Seals, one could even manipulate their biological age. In this city, one of humanity's oldest, dearest wishes – eternal youth – had been realised.
But I was different. I alone stood apart. I was the only citizen of this city who had not been granted a Holy Grail. I had been born into this new world, but I would age naturally – and, eventually, die – with all the senselessness characteristic of the old. An irregularity, born outside of the sight of the Grail. That was what I was – me, Utsumi Erice.
With no Holy Grail, I had no Servant to contract with as my partner. Every once in a while, someone would be unable to stifle the urge to ask me how that felt. If it were up to me, I would laugh at them, and tell them that they'd never understand even if I tried to explain – but I'd been chided no small number of times by my master for that. You would be remiss to be callous in your interaction with your social environment, if you wish to live peacefully in this new world.
So, for lack of anything else to say, I answered them like this:
“Imagine you were incredibly short-sighted, to the point where you could hardly see, but you were told you weren't allowed to wear glasses.”
“Imagine being told you had to travel somewhere on foot, while everyone else was allowed to use trains and buses.”
“Imagine going somewhere you've never been before, only to find that the navigation app on your smartphone was an unusable piece of junk.”
The question I had by far the most trouble with was the question of how I survived day-to-day life without Command Seals, which were one of the bounties of the Grail. On that point, no matter how thoroughly I tried to explain, most other people seemed to struggle to understand my situation any more than vaguely, and ultimately had no interest anyway. That was the ideal response, as far as I was concerned. I could find no fault with that.
There were also those who genuinely understood, and responded with exaggerated surprise and sympathy. Some would offer me the usage of their own Command Seals, assuring me with fawning pity that I could come to them if there was ever anything they could do for me. There were even a few so selflessly empathetic that they claimed to truly want to trade places with me – although always with some condition attached, by which they could return things to normal if they so pleased.
Every such encounter reminded me anew that I was nothing more than an amusement to them. A means of flattering their own altruistic sensibilities, and of relieving their boredom for a little while.
Akihabara was a labyrinth in three dimensions, not just two. In a block nestled a comfortable distance from the downtown area on the middle stratum, bordering a natural public park, stood a multi-storey building housing a collection of public service facilities. Contained on one floor of this building was the classroom I frequented.
I had arrived slightly late for the start time, and hurriedly took my seat. The wide, fan-shaped room was almost devoid of students. This was decidedly not a facility for compulsory education; it was offered the people at large educational lecture courses aimed at fostering lifelong learning. Citizens of all ages took the course, and attending every single lecture was virtually unheard-of. Consequently, I was known as something of an eccentric.
The people here knew nothing of the battle of immortals that occurred last night. Those kinds of incidents never made the news.
Well then – it was time for Pre-War Human History.
That was the name of the course I was taking. Unfortunately, it could hardly have been called the most popular subject. The content of the lectures was much closer to trivia than education. The main goal of Pre-War Human History comprised learning about the human race's greatest triumphs and blunders in the world of the past. It was...well, to put it bluntly, dry.
In the first place, Akihabara was Mosaic City's premier resort. Students who were sincerely striving to learn, or families concerned with the proper education of their children, would simply up and leave for another district. I had an inclination that this space only really existed to entertain the interests of the lecturer at the front of the hall – my master, Ms. Fujimura.
Oh, it looks like that girl's here again.
I cast a quick glance out over the lecture theatre from my usual perch at the back. A small, familiar figure was sat in the very front row, concentrating intently on the lecture. She had come again today. As a rule, I never saw students younger than myself attending these lectures, so she had stuck in my memory. She was a pale child, short in stature, and perhaps old enough to be at the upper end of elementary school. Her voice and attitude during the occasions that she posed questions to the lecturer had given me the impression that she was female, but there was no guarantee. All kinds of people lived in this city.
Her had was invariably pulled down low over her head, and her eyes were covered by her bangs, so I hadn't ever seen her face clearly. I had never engaged her in conversation, and I didn't even know her name. She appeared in lectures once a month or so; I felt a distinct disconnect between her keen attitude in lectures and her abysmal attendance rate.
Today, her standing record for youngest lecture attendee had been broken. The new champion was none other than my companion: the stray Servant I had taken in last night, the golden-haired child. He was at least sitting in his seat for now without making a fuss, but he was fidgeting constantly - rocking his body to and fro, and sometimes lying down as though trying to savour the feeling of the cool wood of the chair. Or so I was thinking, before he suddenly turned to peer into my face, obstructing my view of my tablet.
“You think you're a cat or something?”
“...Ca-...cat?”
“Maybe you're more of a dog, huh. Your hair's all floofy.”
“Dog?”
“Yeah, a dog. You know, woof-woof.”
“I know dogs.”
“Oh, really? Well, I'm glad for y- what the hell do you think you're doing!?”
He had scrambled up onto the seat of his chair, planted both hands on the desk and begun to howl, loud and proud.
Awooooo! Ow-ow-owooo! Awoooooo!
He finished his surprisingly accurate rendition, flashing a beaming smile. I sat for a moment in silent astonishment – and might perhaps have thought for a moment that it was a little endearing, although this really wasn't the time for that.
“Hey, stop that! Get down from there!”
Give me a break. I was just about to give you credit for at least not being as loud as Karin, and you go and pull this. The other attendees were turning back to look at us now, searching for the source of the noise.
“I'm sorry. We'll be quiet. I'm really sorry.”
My master had stopped giving her lecture, and was cocking her head at us. The girl in the front row was looking too. If looks could kill, the glare boring into me from beneath her bangs would have dropped me stone dead. Although I couldn't exactly blame her for getting annoyed at someone bringing this commotion into a class.
Yes miss I'm so terribly sorry I won't do it again...ugh, what did I do to deserve this...
I had no way of knowing how to handle a young child like this boy in the first place – but that said, I also couldn't possible have left him behind in my apartment by himself. And I had thought to myself that I might learn something about him if I brought him here with me.
“Don't dogs say “bow-wow” in English, anyway?”
“Boh-roh.”
“Not even close. Must be nice to be able to mimic things like that, huh...”
Ohh boy. Starting to get the feeling I'm not going to be learning much from today's lecture...
I rested my head on my hand and pouted. Gazing idly at the young boy's angelic face out of the corner of my eye, I cast my mind back through my memories of my baptism last night.
It had happened on the previous evening, after I had been fished from the riverbed by Karin and Kouyou on the wharf. To cut a long story short, I decided to take the boy back to my apartment and put him up for the night, still none the wiser about who he was or where he had come from.
I had been living on my own ever since parting ways with my grandmother.
In a quiet corner of Akihabara, there was a small, depopulated district that most people avoided. Before the war, it had comprised a collection of multi-purpose buildings crammed to bursting with shops, but they had all been abandoned after the Grail's large-scale restructuring of the city. My apartment consisted of a room in one such building.
The inside of the room was decorated in Victorian style. Every inch of floor was covered by wooden floorboards, and its antique interior had been preserved unaltered. Apparently, it had originally housed some kind of dubious culinary establishment known as a “maid cafe”.
My apartment wasn't exactly designed for ease of living, but it was furnished with a proper bathroom and bedroom, and was more than sufficient for one person to live in comfortably. It even had a veranda, albeit a small one. From the window of my bedroom I could gaze out over a small vertical slice of ocean hemmed in by the surrounding buildings.
My opportunities to invite another person back to this humble abode were rare. Considering my job, the risks involved in freely letting others know where I lived were far too high. The only reason I had brought this child back with me was that it would have been too irresponsible to leave him to his own devices. I didn't even know who his contractor was; to have allowed him to freely roam the town would have been unthinkable.
He might have manifested in the form of an innocent child, but that only set me more on edge. I had allowed myself to be disarmed by a target's outward appearance before, on a previous job, and had made a grave mistake because of it. A Servant I had believed nothing more than an angelic young child - like purity itself sculpted in alabaster - had harboured a terrible darkness. The Avenger, Louis XVII. The incident that arose around that particular monstrosity had ultimately claimed not only the life of his Master, but those of a great number of innocents as well.
At the time, I had not yet fully graduated from childhood. Louis and I had been similar in stature, and I had thought we could have been good friends. In the end, however, my friendship and goodwill had been used and turned against me. That incident was not one I would forget easily.
There was another reason that I had brought this stray child back with me: I had been driven to my wits' end in another sense. Frankly speaking, I could not take it any more: the rank stench that permeated the both of us had become unbearable, and I could not bear to go another minute without washing it off.
The culprit was the oil slick near the quay that I'd had the ill fortune to be dragged through when I was fished out of the Kanda river. Petroleum-based waste oil, that had leaked from one of the boats moored in the harbour. I had hardly had the time to worry about such things immediately after being deposited on the wharf, but now that I had returned to my senses the discomfort was driving me to distraction. Pouring water over myself or wiping myself down with paper towels would do nothing to remove this - I needed a proper bath.
I had been stopped by a worried Karin when I had tried to totter my way home, still bearing a serious wound that I had no right to have recovered from so quickly. She had only seen me off after I had explained about the charms and such that I kept in my house. She was easygoing like that.
I had tried to invite her to stay the night here, but she had breezily turned me down, saying that she had a friend in the vicinity who would put her up for the night. Karin's social connections remained as much a mystery to me as ever. Although she had given me a rueful smile, saying that her family would be angry with her for returning home the following morning.
In any case, I had finally returned home, and could allow myself to relax a little. I looked the boy over once more, this time with the aid of my apartment's artificial lights.
“Hold on. Hey, no, wait, wait, wait! Don't just go right in! Just stand here for a minute.”
I grabbed him by his sodden scarf and yanked him back, prompting a visible sulk.
“Uh...sorry.”
So he did possess emotions, and the capacity to appeal to them. That would be useful, at least.
Both of us looked ridiculous, soaked from head to toe and glistening with oil. I was at least wearing swimwear and a windbreaker in place of my ordinary clothes, but his lot was a much more miserable one. I could feel my memories of the unearthly spectacle I had witnessed below the surface of the water growing more distant by the minute.
Alll-righty. I pulled myself together, and sank to one knee in the entranceway, looking over this child once more from top to toe.
He at least appeared to be eight, maybe nine years old. He was Caucasian, with the pale features particular to Scandinavian climes - although given that Servants were as much concept as they were genetics, any attempt to determine their race was close to meaningless. His hair was a pale blonde, almost white, and it had been left to grow freely.
His scarf was sodden, and hung limp around his neck. Or maybe it was a muffler? Well, it wasn't as though it mattered. It was composed of fabric knitted from some strange, gaudy material – it was hard to say if it was actual gold, or just extremely intricate needlework. His clothing looked to be made of cotton, and had a simple design, reminiscent of a Greek-style tunic. He had a small embroidered design on his chest, which I made a note of as a potentially important clue.
His belt and shoes were made of the same material as his scarf. The heels of the latter had a strange design; they were tapered towards the back, like spurs used for riding horses. I could have taken that as an indication that in life he had been some sort of knight – but nothing else about him gave that impression. He's nothing like any other Saber or Rider-class Servants I've seen.
His pale blue eyes stared back at me questioningly as I scrutinised him. I was seized by a sudden rush of curiosity.
“Hey. Do you think you could tell me where you came from?”
He smoothly lifted an arm to point towards the ceiling.
“From the sky? From Heaven? You don't mean from the moon, do you?”
He shook his head at all of them.
“I've come...from somewhere very far away.”
“All Servants have.”
“...Really?” He must have found something amusing, because his face blossomed into a smile, and he giggled. I was relieved at the unexpected ease with which I was able to communicate with him, although it seemed like he was still struggling to understand what I was saying.
His first words had been in halting English, but from the way he had appeared to be listening in on the conversation between me and Karin I would venture that he at least understood our language. If he was a Servant who had been summoned legitimately, he would have been granted a bare minimum level of common knowledge about the modern era by the Grail, as well as the linguistic capabilities necessary to express himself to others naturally. However, now that I was trying to determine his true name, that was only serving to impede my search.
As I questioned him, I produced a pair of scissors and carefully snipped a five-millimetre length of thread from the back of his tunic, which I deposited in a zip-lock sample bag.
“Would you mind letting me take one of your hairs as well?”
It looked like he was giving me the ok. He did as I asked, without resisting, and as I did he asked me a question.
“Have you come from somewhere far away like me, Eri?”
“Don't call me that. Did you get that from Karin? Alright, listen here. I'm not “Eri”, I'm not “Old man Eri”, and I'm not “Eri-pie”. I'm Erice. Utsumi Erice.”
“Hmm.”
He remained staring at me, giving me no indication whether or not he'd understood. His reaction was a little dispiriting, but I continued anyway. If I kept talking, I might be able to glean something.
“It's not all that far away, really. I was born in Shinjuku. I'm fourteen now, so I guess you could call me a middle schooler, but I don't usually go to school anyway.”
“What's a 'school'?”
“A school is...it's where you go to learn. It's a big building where lots of children all go. Or at least, that's what I hear it was like before the war. They've changed a lot since then.”
“You don't go to school, Eri?”
“I told you to call me Erice. And I don't need to. I'm passing my academic evaluations, and I'm getting the credits I need from extracurricular courses. And I show up for health inspections and such.”
“You don't want to go to school, do you?”
I grit my teeth. He'd hit the nail on the head. He was annoyingly good at that.
“It's...not a matter of whether I want to go or not. I...I have more important things to do.”
“You're alone.” He cocked his head, and then broke out into another smile. “Just like me.”
I suppressed my irritation silently as I tapped at my tablet. I was trying a search for the symbol embroidered on his chest, but nothing was coming up. Just in case, I tried accessing the city network, but no-one had registered any missing Servants - although it wasn't as though that was a frequent occurrence anyway. I could ask my master about any information that might be being suppressed on a public level, but I could hardly go blithely to her cap-in-hand. Not after I had tried to hide from her that I had disobeyed her orders and let Kundry go.
Even so, there was one theory as to his identity that I had managed to come up with. Spurred on by that, I decided to bite the bullet.
“So, which Servant are you?”
“...?”
He tilted his head in confusion. Was he trying to play dumb? It didn't look like an act, at any rate. It seemed that somehow, he really didn't understand the concept of a Servant. Was that even possible?
“I'm asking about your true name. Although your nickname will do, if that's better-known.”
Once, Servants would not have revealed their true name lightly, but that was before the war. In the modern world, it had become more of a question of personal privacy. No small number of Servants had origins that could complicate life in Mosaic City if they became known to others, and the degree of discretion necessary might also change depending on their relationship with their Master.
This boy likely wouldn't talk about his true name if his unknown Master did not wish it. And all the more so if he didn't have one at all.
“Your name, I said. Tell me your name.”
“...Name?”
“That's right. Your name.”
“Don't you know it?”
“...Huh? Don't I...you mean my name?”
It was supposed to be me asking the questions here. I was starting to feel that if I just allowed this wide-eyed child to talk at his own pace, I would end up the one being profiled.
Abruptly, he opened his mouth again. “There's something I've lost.”
“Something you've lost? What did you lose?”
“I don't know.”
I heaved a sigh. At the same moment, a sharp stench once more pricked at my nostrils.
“It sounds like you're suffering from memory loss. I think things like that can happen after summoning...? Well, anyway, there's nothing we can do for now. And I'm about at my wits' end, so right now I'm going to have a shower. I'll let you use the bathroom too, so go on ahead.”
“Show-er?”
“A shower. You know, like a bath.”
“...A bath?”
“Wait, you really don't know? Don't tell me you don't even know what a shower is? Hang on, have you ever even had a wash?”
He shook his head. Apparently he really hadn't ever experienced a bath. Although even if he hadn't, surely the idea itself fell under common knowledge.
Do your job, Holy Grail.
For as long as I had lived here, my bathroom had been rather chic. It had a French-style interior, and was easily wide enough for two people. The star of the show was a shallow enamel bathtub, pulled straight from a western movie. Incidentally, the bedroom was decorated in equally charming fashion, and was the biggest reason I chose this apartment.
The design was uncharacteristically luxurious for a department store coffee shop. Either the owner had been extremely specific tastes...or from the beginning, this building had been designed with less-than-wholesome purposes in mind. Probably the latter. Not that that had anything to do with me; I was nothing more than a grateful beneficiary. But it did mean one more thing for Karin to tease me about.
I gritted my teeth, and led the boy by the hand to the bathroom. He was still dawdling, unsure as to what was going on. I had him take off his clothes and made him stand in the dressing room. Then I set to filling the bathtub, removing my own dirtied clothing as I did so. He's just a kid. What's there to be embarrassed about? Nothing! That's right, nothing at all.
There was still an outside chance that he would turn out to have the mind of a middle-aged man, but I'd cross that bridge if I came to it.
“I suppose I'd better put my swimsuit in to soak...ouch!”
Agony lanced through me as I twisted my body the wrong way. I re-treated the injury to my abdomen, and covered it over with a water-resistant patch. It was still undergoing accelerated recovery, and it was warm to the touch. The wound was serious enough that with the treatment methods of the past, oligemic shock and acute inflammation would have been unavoidable. But this new world had conquered death itself, and treatments for injuries and accidents had not been overlooked on the way. Many technologies had been developed during the war, and now I reaped the benefits.
“It looks like it hurts.”
“Well, maybe a little.”
His eyes were drawn to the scar on my ear, and he screwed up his face.
“It isn’t nice, is it? Every thorn-prick makes its own hole.”
“...You said it.”
Was he worrying that I might be left with a scar, in his own way? If so, he was quite the gentleman.
“But it's ok. Kouyou patched it up for me, so it'll heal with time.”
For my part, I carefully looked his naked body up and down once more. This was a vital step in my investigation, and thus an entirely proper and lawful act.
He was...definitely a boy, yep.
Once I had painstakingly washed away the cause of the stench, I finally entered the bathtub - along with the boy, who was trying to escape at any opportunity.
“It's hot.”
“That's what's good about it. Ordinary Servants love to take baths. They're all very happy to get in. There are even some who have baths as their Noble Phantasms. There's one who summons this great big bathchamber, called Terme di Caracalla...”
“I want to get out.”
He was pulling a very sullen expression, but at least he was being obedient.
I can't see any scars on him. His muscles and weight don't seem any different from a normal child's, either. I found it very hard to believe that he might be some kind of knight summoned in their youth. When he'd said that he didn't know what a bath was, the first thing I'd suspected was child abuse; Heroic Spirits who had come from such unhappy backgrounds were too numerous to count. But he showed no sign of having received that kind of treatment, or at least not outwardly.
My confidence in my hypothesis was growing stronger, and I decided to put it to the test.
I stretched out from the bathtub. With the steam-clouded mirror as my canvas, I drew a picture of a hat with my fingertip. It was a crude sketch of an old-fashioned, wide-brimmed men's hat with a slightly indented top, as seen from the side.
“Hey. Can you tell me what this is?” I asked him hesitantly, my chest pounding nervously. It only took a brief glance at the picture before he answered.
“It's...a snake.”
I started. For a moment, I was lost for words.
“It looks like it's eaten something big.”
He'd answered my question perfectly.
“It scares me a little.”
Droplets fell from his body as he shivered and turned away. I hadn't even imagined that he might show such a violent reaction. I quickly wiped away the picture on the mirror, and found myself patting his head to try and reassure him. I could feel the slickness of his wet hair and the warmth of his body through the palm of my hand.
“What about “B-612”? Or maybe you could call it “Besixdouze”?”
“Yes.” He nodded in answer. No hesitation.
“You know it?”
“It's a planet, isn't it? But there's no-one there.”
I was silent for a moment. That's right. It's a planet. Of course it is.
“I see...so there's no-one there. But I think...I might know your true name now.”’  
B-612 was the name of an asteroid that orbited the solar system. It was not remarkable in any way, save for the fact that it had been discovered by a Japanese national. It would hardly be included in the common knowledge that the Holy Grail bestowed upon Servants. But that asteroid was named for a novella from a foreign country, and the title of that novella was “The Little Prince”.
On a sudden impulse, I embraced him. In the bathtub, I wrapped my arms around his narrow shoulders from behind, and squeezed him tight. So as not to break him. So as not to hurt him.
“If only...if only you had been my Servant...”
He showed no sign of answering me.
Before entering the bathtub, as I was washing myself, I had checked everywhere. Desperately, I had searched to see if Command Seals, the proof of a contract with a Servant, had appeared anywhere on my body. I had strained my eyes in the mirror, checking my back, beneath the translucent medical patch, even the soles of my feet. But they were nowhere to be seen.
Then I was no-one's Master. I could not have made any contract with this boy through the Grail. I was just the Reaper, the same as I had always been.
In that case, what had that sense of foreboding been?
What had that trembling been in my chest? That sense that something had begun that would change my life forever?
In the end, it had all just been my own wishful thinking.
After the bath, we retired to my living-cum-dining room, where a mahogany table had stood ever since this place was a cafe. The boy sat in a chair, working his way through a lasagne that I had microwaved from frozen. I was recording the day's events, tablet in hand and a towel around my head, and I was blushing as red as his bolognese sauce. I felt incredibly embarrassed. This boy hadn't even yet come of age, but I had suddenly embraced him, whispered something that felt almost like a confession of love, and then ended up crying. While naked, no less.
His only response, after a while had passed, had been to furrow his eyebrows and complain “It's hot”.
“Is that good?”, I asked.
“It tastes.”
“Really? Sounds great.”
The samples I had taken earlier were on the table. Both contents of the zip-lock bag had vanished, just as I had expected. Separated from his body, his hair and the thread from his tunic had ceased to exist in their pseudo-physical form, and had reverted to being part of his mana. In other words, his body and the clothes he wore were woven from the stuff. That made for strong evidence that he was a Servant - but it was unneeded, because an easier way to tell was right before my eyes. The clothes that I had left on the floor of the dressing room had since returned to a clean, dry state.
The scarf that he wore around his neck floated freely, with no regard for the laws of physics. Even while he was eating, it fluttered gently, as though rising upon the wind. Needless to say, there was no wind inside my apartment.
He couldn't be the Simoun...could he? The poison wind?
The night had grown late, and I wrestled with the sleepiness and exhaustion that assailed me as I stared at my tablet. I thought back to the words I had exchanged with the Flying Dutchman, Captain Van der Decken. Every word of the warning he had given me lay heavy on my breast.
Until it became clear that our enemy was the mad queen, he had maintained a policy of non-interference, and only once had he commented on my methods. He had been cursed by a devil of the ocean. My lot was not too dissimilar - for I too was cursed, and possessed by evil spirits. Living my life beyond the sight of the Grail, I might as well have been a naked offering to them. But that was also the reason that I'd lasted as long as I had in this job.
I had let my guard down. I had allowed myself to believe that Captain Van der Decken and I might have been able to find an understanding, as bearers of the same fate. But he had seen through those naïve expectations, and had roughly spurned my advances.
“You have grown to feel joy in the act of slaying Servants, under the pretence of executing the authority of the city. Though you think yourself the master of your spectres, they in turn use you.”
He was telling me, in a roundabout way, that I was intoxicated by the idea of being a superhero. That what I had believed to be pride was in fact conceit.
“Someday, Erice, you will call forth a great evil. And when that time comes, that which you have clung to so dearly will instead force you to your knees.”
Unable to accept his words and fiercely ashamed, I had retorted with some frivolous argument - although I could admit now that it had just been something I had cooked up to make myself feel better. At the time I had thought he was just trying to put me in my place, but thinking back on it now, his words might have been as much in reproach of himself as they had been for me. His relationship with his contractor Aheseurus - equal in spite of being Master and Servant - spoke more eloquently of his sincerity than words ever could.
“Are you paying attention, Erice?”
I was brought out of my reverie by my master's polite chiding.
“You seem very tired. Perhaps it might be for the best if you took a moment to rest in the break room? I can prepare the lecture material for your perusal later, if you'd like.”
I let out a whimper. This was embarrassing. My second disgrace this morning. I shook my head vigorously. My master nodded, and recommenced the lecture in a soft voice.
Her name was Caren Fujimura. She was the lecturer responsible for this class, and also my master. I had known her for as long as I could walk.
Outwardly, she appeared to be in her twenties. She had light amber eyes, and wavy, pale grey hair that cascaded down to the small of her back. Her body combined a slender build with voluptuous Hispanic curves. Most notable of all, however, was her impeccable sense of style. Nobody else could come close to its audacity. Today, too, she looked sharp as a knife.
Or at least, I thought so, but waxing lyrical on the subject only seemed to earn me pained smiles from Karin and others. Well, it wasn't as though I cared anyway. If I was the only one who could understand her magnificence, so be it.
“...?”
The boy, who had been quiet at my side for a long time, had begun focusing on my master when she had spoken to me. Now he turned his gaze to the skirt of my school uniform, then to his own trousers, and cocked his head. He turned his head to make one more pass, carefully comparing, and then spoke with some conviction.
“She isn't wearing anything down there.”
“That she isn't.”
My master really was incredible.
It was not on account of her position as my lecturer that I called Caren Fujimura my master. Nor was it on account of her being my fashion role model. She was inhuman, in every way, and not in the sense of being part of the new postwar humanity. She was an artificial intelligence – an AI.
More precisely, she was the municipal administration AI tasked with the management of the Akihabara ward. A human interface that allowed the Grail to communicate directly with the people of the city. A hybrid intelligence – the most valuable in the city – born of the fusion of summoning magecraft, modelled on the kind that called forth Heroic Spirits, and cutting-edge information engineering technology. Such was the true nature of Caren Fujimura.
Ms. Fujimura's lecture on pre-war human history continued. Today's topic was the history and profiles of the great pioneers. Those brave adventurers who sailed west on crude wooden vessels, carving a path to an unknown lands. Those bold explorers who discovered – or rediscovered – the distant new world, and secured the shipping routes that would become the lifeblood of a global civilisation.
She spoke of Eric the Red, who crossed from Europe to Greenland and settled there. Of his son, Lief Ericsson, who made landfall in the northeast of North America and named it “Vinland”. Of the roots of the Polynesians, who propagated across the islands of the south Pacific in canoes little better than rafts, and were sometimes set adrift by rogue currents to journey thousands of kilometres.
Of Christopher Columbus, the conqueror who never once lost sight of his dream; who sailed to the farthest reaches of the western sea aboard the legendary Santa Maria, and there rediscovered the new world. Of Vasco de Gama, who crossed the Cape of Good Hope and pioneered the Indian trade route. Of the Cape itself - the southern tip of the African continent and one of the great perils of the Age of Discovery, where Captain Van der Decken's Dutch galleon met its fate upon the rocks.
She told of Ferdinand Magellan, whose vessels first circumnavigated the world. Although he perished before the completion of his journey, his feat proclaimed to the world beyond all doubt that the earth was not flat, but round. Through him, the people came to know that the world they lived on was just one more celestial body like the moon or Mars, forging silently onwards through the void.
And here too was the first captain to circumnavigate the globe: Francis Drake, the privateer! Ah, here was the magnificent Golden Hind! I had already been absorbed in the lecture, but here my excitement reached its zenith, my mind filling with daydreams of the open sea.
From Servants who had lived through the same era, I had heard tales that Drake, the admiral who broke the back of the invincible Spanish Armada, had in truth been a woman more gallant than any man. That the man who set the sun had, in fact, been the woman who set the sun. I personally found them impossible to believe, and I'd also heard them refuted by other pirate Servants. Stories like that ain't nothin' more'n piss in the wind, girly. Drake was a man, sure as my beard is long.
It was a common enough story when it came to Servants. Some ages of history had placed little importance on gender distinctions. Conversely, in others women had been so oppressed that they could only perform heroic deeds whilst disguised in men's clothing. Such confusion was liable to muddy historical records.
Even if Drake had been female, it would do nothing to tarnish the glory of her legend.
My enriching study time was now approaching its end, although I had struggled to focus on all of the contents of the lecture.
“I would like to give a brief introduction to one final figure. An American man whose one small step signified a giant leap for mankind.”
The screen changed in sync with Ms. Fujimura's commentary. Now it displayed a world of extreme contrasts: a sea of grey regolith, and the dark vacuum of space. Within the shadow thrown by a lunar lander, a figure in a space suit descended a ladder to stand upon the moon's surface.
“This was the first man to stand on the face of the moon. He, too, counts among the great pioneers of the human race.”
“...Eh...?”
A single voice arose, quavering not with wonder but with astonishment.
“A human went to the moon...? A living human?”
The source of the voice was none other than the young girl in the front row.
“Indeed. It would be fifty-six years before the modern day. Three astronauts ventured to the moon, and two among them descended to walk upon its surface.”
“More than half a century ago? There weren't even control units back then capable of calculating orbital trajectories-”
“There were.”
Another video resource flashed onto the screen. This time it showed a bulky copper box that must have weighed dozens of kilograms, and a small keyboard. The commentary indicated that this was the Apollo spaceship's guidance computer.
“Single-core, 8-bit. A most splendid computer to be mounted in the lunar lander. It likely had less than one ten-thousandth the processing power of the smartphones you all have in your pockets. And yet it was enough to guide the lander by autopilot, even though human error necessitated its rebooting just prior to landing.”
Ms. Fujimura sounded almost triumphant now. There had been a strange change in her expression, although it was so slight I doubted anyone but me would even have a chance of noticing. Perhaps, for an AI, it was a point of pride to be able to talk about the vital contribution a computer had made to one of humanity's most historic achievements.
No, that's not it...
She was delighting in the shock her student was experiencing, from her first contact with this knowledge. She was revelling in it. The girl retracted her body and sat back down in her seat, fuming.
“That's irresponsible. It's reckless.”
“Indeed it was. It was one of the most reckless ventures in human history, and precious lives were lost along the way.”
“That's all the more reason it could never have happened!”
As though scoffing at our worries from across the ages, the portly figure of the spaceman upon the screen began to moonwalk, gleefully bounding across the moon's surface. He was humming to himself merrily, like some shameless delinquent.
“Rather carefree, isn't he? One would never think only a thin spacesuit separated him from the zero-pressure vacuum and the hellish 110-degree temperatures outside.”
My master smiled faintly, as she expressed her admiration for the men in the video. Even when they raced their moon buggies across the lunar plain, they were rough and careless, as though they were driving go-karts at some amusement park. The girl at the front returned to gazing at the video, a flabbergasted expression on her face.
“Ah...ahaha...!” I couldn't help bursting out in laughter.
Her shoulders trembled a little. I'd picked an awful time.
The “Great Pioneers” instalment concluded by saying that although the human race had raised its flag in one great unknown after the other – first the new world beyond the seas, then the distant skies, and finally the void of space – landing a group of carefree delinquents on the surface of the moon had marked the end of their exploits. Not once since had they set their sights on anything farther. The Apollo generation's dream of a grand conquest of the stars remained a dream to this day. Mars, Venus and the outer space beyond the solar system remained unknown to the print of human boot.
I wondered if perhaps the human race had, somewhere along its way, lost sight of something incredibly precious.
I wondered if perhaps someday there might rise once again, on the edge of the farthest frontier, someone worthy of being called a hero. Someone who would lead mankind forth once more towards a new world.
“Hey, there you are, Eri-pie! Wanne grab some food?”
Karin burst into the classroom just as the lecture had ended. She must have guessed where I would be. I had thought she might have returned home after the events of last night, but she must have remained in Akihabara.
“Oh, it's you, Karin. I'll hold off for now. I've still got things I need to do.”
“Ehh? Hasn't your class just wrapped up?”
“Well, yeah, but I'm not talking about class.”
“Oh, the shrimp's tagging along? Good, good. You put some proper breakfast in him, right? What's he been eatin'?”
“Cereal. And some water.”
“Oh, ouch. You know that's child abuse, right? Like, I should probably be calling a social worker about now?”
“Just give it a rest, geez...”
I hadn't been back to my apartment for the past few days, and my reserves had all expired, so I had ended up with very little by way of food. I hadn't so much as forced cereal and water on him as noticed his interest in the food I was hurriedly shovelling down and shared a little.
Servants didn't typically require meals in the usual sense, but in the post-war world where they had become commonplace, more care was being paid to improving their quality of life. There were even some citizens' groups that insisted that they had a right to live the same as humans. In my view, Servants were fundamentally inhuman existences, and I saw those attempts to impose human restrictions on something unbound by the framework of nature as little more than evidence of their Masters' egotism – although I couldn't deny that might just have been the bitter prejudice of a have-not speaking.
“Sssssssup! Morning, Caren!”
“Good morning to you too, Karin.”
Ms. Fujimura approached the two of us.
“Karin...and Caren...?”
The boy looked between the two, confused.
“Yeah, you got it. Pain in the ass, right? The Caren in Akihabara has this kinda grown-up, sexy feel to her. The one back home is a lot more, uh...wha-chaa!”
“What's “wha-chaa!” supposed to mean? And you should be calling her Ms. Fujimura.” Karin had drawn one knee up to strike a kung-fu pose. I gave her a smack.
“Karin lives in the Shibuya district. The me who lives there is a drawer for a Chinese restaurant.” My master smiled gently. I wondered what it felt like, to know there were different versions of herself active all over the city.
A few elderly students were still hanging around in the classroom, chatting amongst themselves. My master ushered us from the room, and we relocated to a terrace protruding from midway up the building. This was a leisure space, and it commanded a wide view of the sprawl of Akihabara. At this early hour, the sea breeze was light, and the sun was not too strong. It was just cool enough that that shaded areas were still a little chilly.
The distant rumble of a train smoothly pulling in from the oversea viaduct drifted to us from across the water, along with the faint toot of its horn. Beyond the horizon, where the railway vanished, lay Shinjuku and Shibuya.
“So this child is the Servant with the unknown Master?”
“That's right.”
I had already informed her about the situation in advance, but I took the opportunity to introduce the boy to her in person.
“To tell the truth, I already have a good guess as to his identity. Although he doesn't really react to what I say most of the time. He doesn't seem to be entirely all there.”
I took the plunge, and told her about last night's discoveries – hoping somewhere deep down this made up for the regret I felt at keeping quiet about Kundry's flight and the events that had followed.
“Antoine de Saint-Exupéry...? A French author, as I recall, and one of great renown. He was also an accomplished pilot, and served in the Second World War. You believe this child's identity to be this Saint-Exupéry?”
The object of our scrutiny, the child in question, showed no reaction to the name. He took a sip of the freshly-squeezed orange juice that Karin had bought from a juice stand, and pulled a face. Sour.
“His appearance is a poor match, even taking into account the age difference.” I could sense my master checking records in the background, and cross-referencing them with the child in front of her. I pressed on with my next hypothesis.
“I think he's the Little Prince. Don't you think he looks just like Saint-Exupéry's illustrations?”
The Little Prince was an allegorical short story. It was the last completed work by Saint-Exupéry, who passed away at a young age. Whether online or in physical bookshops, one would inevitably find it in the children's book category, but it couldn't be more different to the fairy tales it rubbed shoulders with on the shelves. That said, nor was it something like the Bible, whose every line existed to be quoted and venerated. It was a comforting presence, like a familiar friend at your side, always ready with a lighthearted quip or a sobering anecdote. Or so I thought, anyway.
“Eh? So you're a prince, are you? Hmmmm? Now you mention it, he does look kinda regal. Think he'd make a good match with my Momi? She is a princess, you know. Whaddaya think?”
Karin pinched the boy's cheek, grinning wickedly, and he turned his head away in clear discomfort. I decided to leave them to it, and added to my master that last night the boy had answered my riddle with the keyword that only the Little Prince would know.
“I see...” She struck a contemplative pose as I continued.
“I'm aware that he doesn't look very much like Saint-Exupéry. That's why I'm wondering if he could be an author Servant who's taken on the form of a character from one of his own works. I'm sure there are examples of that.”
“There are indeed. Many authors' works leave a far greater impression on the world to come than the men themselves. Many more choose such forms of their own accord. However, if you would permit me my personal opinion - ”
She left a beat, pushing up her glasses.
“ - I would conjecture that Saint-Exupéry would project himself not onto the Little Prince, but onto the Pilot who narrates the story. It was, after all, his own experience of crash-landing in the Sahara desert that formed the basis for the book.”
“Ah...yes, I...I suppose...”
She was right. Given the content of the book, it was an entirely legitimate criticism. She was saying that this child was likely something fundamentally different to just some writer Servant with perverse tendencies and a strong capacity for empathy.
While I hadn't been watching, the subject of out conversation had begun sipping on a honey-lemon drink. He must have traded his orange juice with Karin. This was evidently more to his tastes; he was smiling broadly.
“I have conferred with the Caren units in the other districts, but he does not appear to match any Servant under our jurisdiction. I cannot even venture more than vague hypotheses as to his class.” It seemed that as an AI, she was capable of communicating with her other units in the background even as she talked with me.
So he wasn't a lost Servant who had wandered in from some other district. At the very least, we now knew that there was no record of Saint-Exupéry being registered as a Servant anywhere in Mosaic City.
“Please do not be disheartened, Erice. I do not mean to dismiss your opinion; the possibility remains. And just by having secured him, you have already done a wonderful job.”
“I suppose...”
“He seems to be stable, aside from his memories, so I will fit him with a classification tag. For as long as he continues to reside in this town, I will refer to him as “The Little Prince (TBD)””.
“...'Brackets...TBD'...?”
“Guess so. Would be a pain in the ass if he didn't have a name, right? Brackets, TBD.” Karin cheerily patted the Little Prince (TBD) on the head.
“Um...about last night's incident...” I straightened my back, and tried to change the topic to my report of the previous night's events – and suddenly my master stood up from her seat, looking at me ruefully.
“I owe you an apology, Erice. A matter has sprung up that requires my urgent attention. Would you mind submitting your report as a brief text document?”
“Eh...? I mean...of course.”
I felt relieved, but at the same time more concerned. Whatever this urgent matter was, this was the first I'd heard of it, and my master was not known for changing her schedule lightly.
“But what do you think I should do about him?”
“That was my next point. I am sorry to ask this of you, but would you mind taking charge of him for the time being? If his identity becomes clear during that time, all the better.”
“Eh-?”
My master's eyes narrowed into a smile as my mouth clamped shut. The already-unusual situation had just taken a turn for the stranger.
“No way, no way, no way. Isn't that going to be a problem? With my job and everything?”
“No other individual in Akihabara is so equipped to tackle as exceptional a case. To call you a specialist in the handling of Servants would not be an exaggeration.”
It would. It absolutely would. My specialisation was not the handling of Servants - it was murder. Restraining the most villainous of Servants, and keeping them under strict surveillance, I could do. But I was not nearly so capable of attending to the needs of a young boy, barely any different from an ordinary human child, who didn't even know his own name.
Karin chipped in. “Can't he just bunk at my place? What's an extra brother or two, anyway?”
“Quite a lot, I think...”
Karin's suggestion was extraordinarily irresponsible, but my master only inclined her head. “My thanks for your hospitality Karin, but I am afraid that I cannot yet say what threat this child poses. I cannot permit him to reside with ordinary citizens.”
“I'm tellin' you, it's cool. I've got Momi, don't I? It'll be fine!”
Karin dug in deeper, and my master responded with another polite but firm refusal. In all honesty, it would have been a weight off my mind – although I wouldn't say that the notion of Karin taking responsibility for a portion of my job didn't grate on me a little.
Just as I was becoming aware of my own troublesome misgivings, a newcomer hurriedly approached the recreation space where we were conversing.
“Caren Fujimura? If you wouldn't mind, there's something I'd like to ask you.”
It was her – the girl in the hat from the front row. She had run out of the classroom just before the lecture had ended, conversing with someone over her smartphone. She must have returned now that her conversation had ended.
“It's nice to see you, Haruko. Do you have a question for me about the lecture?”
“That's right. I wanted to ask about the role of astrology during the Age of Discovery-” A sudden squall blew through the terrace, and she clutched at her hat, pulling it down tightly over her ears. I saw my chance and hurriedly forced my way into the conversation – although really, she had been the one who had interrupted us.
“H-hang on a moment. I was already talking with Ms. Fujimura...”
She glared at me in silence. Her brilliant peppermint-green eyes glinted from behind a parting in her fringe. “It was only thanks to the repeated interruptions from you and your Servant that I didn't have the opportunity to ask these questions during the lecture.”
“Well, I'm...I'm sorry about that. But, well, you see, he's not exactly my Servant...”
“Is that so? My apologies. But as his guardian, you should be more conscious of your responsibility to ensure he does not cause trouble for others in public spaces.”
Her motions – her gait, and even the way she was holding down her hat - were clipped and precise. She was barely taller than the innocent child drinking juice by my side, but she somehow seemed many years his elder. Beneath the white gown I had seen so often in lectures, she was wearing a slightly old-fashioned bright yellow blouse.
I'm positive...I've seen those clothes before somewhere... Now where was it?
“Um...you mentioned astrology, didn't you? If you're curious about the involvement of magecraft in human history, why don't you go to the library? You'd be able to research it as much as you wanted.”
I'd intended it as a sincere and respectful recommendation...but instead she expelled a short, sharp sigh, and her attitude became palpably frostier. This was getting awkward.
“You're telling me to go to the library? That would be far less efficient than asking an administrative AI – I mean, Ms. Fujimura directly. I would have thought that someone who went to the trouble of attending lectures would be cognizant of the vast difference in value between the vague knowledge one can acquire through reference materials, and the clear and consistent explanations that can be gained through conversations with an expert in the field. And if you do not understand that, then I must ask why you insist on wasting others' time with your indolence.”
“W-what do you mean, 'indolence'...?”
“Well damn. Kid's got a mouth on her...”
Things were going from bad to worse - now Karin had taken an interest. If I left this alone, it could easily easily escalate beyond my control and into an all-out brawl. She was free to pick whichever fights she wanted, but I wanted to avoid any risk of worsening my relationships with other students and ending up barred from attending.
“Come on, Karin. Cut it out. I'm not mad or anything.”
“...Hm? Wait a second, I'm sure...” Karin looked as though she'd just noticed something. The girl hurriedly pulled her hat back down over her head. My master had called this girl Haruko, hadn't she?
“I too have important matters to attend to. I really do have to hurry.”
“I...I see. Sorry about all this.” She had come all the way to this terrace searching for my master, and I wanted to show some recognition of her dedication. In that sense, we were kindred spirits. “If I'm not mistaken, you don't come to lectures very often, do you? If you wouldn't mind, I could let you borrow my old notes...”
“If you're going to mock me so, I hope you're prepared for the consequences.”
“Eh? Did...did I say something wrong?” How short was this girl's fuse? I desperately looked to Karin for help, but she only shook her head as though to say there was nothing she could do. And then, in that moment -
“I think that's quite enough, Erice.”
Another newcomer – a woman, who had not been in the classroom – strolled towards us, calling out to me with uncomfortable familiarity. Her footsteps clacked on the floor as she approached.
“Welcome. Your arrival is earlier than I had expected.” Ms. Fujimura, who had been maintaining a position of neutrality in our argument, greeted her in an oddly forced tone of voice.
“It was your message that hurried me here, Caren. You said that I might have the opportunity to see something interesting.” She was dressed in a vintage black sailor uniform, and her long silver hair was left to hang freely. I knew this woman – this woman who looked so out-of-place in Akihabara, who clad herself in an elegant shroud of bygone days.
“Chitose... What...what are you doing here...?”
Now it made sense. Caren's urgent matter must have been her.
The girl in the hat must have caught my murmured whisper. “Chitose...? What kind of civilian could call directly on a municipal administration AI without an appointment...?”
I heard the rushing sound of an intake of breath, and she turned sharply back around to the woman once more. Now that they were standing face-to-face, her small frame meant that she had to crane her neck to look her in the eyes.
“You aren't...Manazuru Chitose, are you...? The Stigmata?”
“...I am indeed. It's been a while since I last heard that name.”
The girl let out a whimper. “How could this happen...”
Her reaction was so violent, I thought for a moment that they might have been about to duel it out on the spot. In stark contrast to her brief reverie, now she was tripping over herself to be polite. She scrambled backwards three paces, and lowered her head woodenly. Her ears were glowing bright red, and from the glimpses I could catch through her bangs her cheeks were similarly flushed.
One of her fingers brushed against the side of her hat. With a swish, it folded in on itself and collapsed into a hairband. With her face now exposed, she bowed her head once more.
“I apologise wholeheartedly for my insolence, Stigmata.”
Chitose only shook her head quietly. “You had business with Caren, did you not? I do not mind waiting a while.”
“I-it was nothing! Certainly, nothing of consequence next to your duties.” She was so stiff and anxious now, her haughty demeanour not two minutes ago seemed like a distant memory. It was actually a little adorable -  although in general, I found people's tendency to become so ill at ease in Chitose's presence rather hard to deal with.
For her part, Chitose might have been responding amiably, but that should not have been mistaken for warmth or compassion. Her gaze fell upon the boy seated at our table, and for an instant, her eyes were those of a serpent that had found its prey.
“Yes, that's the boy”, she said, as though talking to herself. “I can't even tell which class his Saint Graph is. I suppose the world is full of surprises.”
I confess - my interest was aroused, and I couldn't suppress a sadistic curiosity. What reaction would her gaze stir in him? Would he show awe? Animosity? Would he ignore her completely, as though erasing his own existence?
But instead – he smiled. A beaming smile, like a shining star. A clear window straight to his heart.
Silence reigned for a second, and then Chitose smiled back at him thinly. Next to me, I felt the girl with the hat flinch. And then, her expression relaxing into a slightly mischievous smile, she approached me, and laid a pale white fingertip on my shoulder.
“I charge you with monitoring this child, Erice.”
“Understood”, I muttered. She gave a small shrug at my disgruntled response.
It looked like our conversation was over. Once Chitose had made a clear decision, my master would abide by it. I stood up from my seat, bowed to my master, and accompanied the boy from the terrace as I'd been instructed.
“Who the hell was that?”, Karin asked breezily, once we were in the corridor. “Gave me the creeps.” Just this once, I was grateful for her laid-back demeanour.
“And what's up with you, anyway? Didn't you have something to ask Caren about? You sure you're ok just leaving like this?”
“It doesn't matter. Let's just go.”
I put the building behind me, as though I were running away from something.
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justkpopjokes · 6 years
Note
Werewolf! Cheol. ANGSTY FLUFF ASDFGHJKL
A/N: Jesus Kylie we’re going to die together prepare the grave aLSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I was really uncontent with the ending, and the angst level isn’t too high but hopefully wolf cub Cheol makes up for it(?)
So I’ve never written a werewolf au
But eh who cares about werewolves
I mean you think it’s just a stupid fairy tale that people rumor are true (I mean people are finding evidence they’re real but that can’t be true can it?)
Like hahaha tf??😂😂😂 Humans that turn into wolves during the full moon? Lmao
Also wolves scare you but anyway
And then there’s Seungcheol who just
Wtf are normal humans???
So basically
Seungcheol grew up as a werewolf
He was bitten as a child poor smol
His parents didn’t know what to do, so they abandoned him
He was roaming the streets alone
But luckily FULL MOON TONIGHT
He goes through this painful fit on the ground, but the pain goes away after a few seconds(?)
He’s just like wait wut why can’t I stand on my legs?
Do I have legs???
What is this thing on my face?? It’s called a muzzle sweetie
“So I’m a wolf now?” yea boiiii
GURAE WOLF NAEGA WOLF AWOOOOO k sorry moving on
And so our smol wolfie was found by other werewolves when he howled
And they took him in even after the full moon was over
So he lives with werewolves now!!!
Which makes him kinda…savage? Basically he isn’t really used to human etiquette
He grew up as a wolf ok, his werewolf parents didn’t teach him much human stuff
They thought it would be best if he didn’t come in contact with humans
And for a while, they were right
He was better off away from people, growing up in the woods
Away from (normal) human communication
And with the exception of his weird wolf family,
Forever alone
…well…maybe not forever
He has the keep reading bar as his friend
He’s been away from the cities all his life
And now he’s in his late teens
And you know what happens in your late teens
You don’t want to face adulthood be alone
Seungcheol is curious to know how regular humans live
And this guy…well you know he doesn’t give up
So one night, once his family is asleep, he sneaks out of his family’s cottage in the woods and goes to the city
Once he gets out of the forest, he notices how the city is so lighted up
Like it’s shouting “Come here, Seungcheol!”
Ofc our guy goes to the city
Just so happens that you’re out too
You’re out because you can’t sleep relatable
And even though you need to get up early tomorrow, at least you have time to study right? Ha yeah right
So you’re on your way to a 24-hour-wherever to get coffee or a drink or a place to read
So you’re walking around the streets when you see this guy wiTH RIPPED CLOTHES AND LOTS OF SCARS?? WHO’S KIND OF BLEEDING???
Obviously you’re scARED TO DEATH LIKE WHAT THE HECK IS HE GOING TO KILL ME but also v concerned bc “you poor thing…what happened to you?”
So you walk over to the tall guy and tap his shoulder when he’s looking at graffiti
And he just jumps back and screams. Roars? No growls. He growls.
Eureureong eureureong ay
Cue you screaming at his scarred face
After you two recover you’re just staring at each other while he’s on the ground sitting like a dog
You think it looks really weird but like what the heck is this grown man doing with his life, he’s muscular af but looks like he just survived a war
“Uh—um…are…are you okay…?”
“Uh…Yes?”
“What’s your name?”
“…s…Seung…Cheol…”
K lemme just mention how Cheol has limited speaking skills, bc his parents only taught him basic words in case of emergency
(I’m guessing they just…growl to communicate? They really don’t like humanity okay like no speaking in this household)
But you take the quiet guy him home to clean his wounds
Whenever you try to disinfect the scrapes on his leg he yelps like crazy so eventually, you get tired and stop
Well…there’s a scarred man on your couch, all you can do is try to feed him
“Listen, I don’t have much food…any allergies?”
He just tilts his head and raises an eyebrow
“Aller…gy?”
“What, have you been living in the woods all your life? Yes I said allergy”
“Yes.”
“Wait what”
He just ignores you and walks to the fridge you’re holding open
“Meat?”
“I only have raw meat, it’ll take a while to cook—”
He just takes out the huge chunk of meat and unwraps the plastic around it
Then just bites this huge chunk off
Your jaw just drops
You try to grab it away saying “You’ll get a disease or som—”
But he just snarls and turns away noisily chewing
So you’re sitting across from the man on your couch still eating a huge chunk of steak
Eventually you drift to sleep
Now Seungcheol isn’t entirely stupid (to human standards)
He knows no one likes sleeping in an uncomfortable place
So of course when he sees you quietly snoozing, something clicks in him
Like an imprint? Except for something else👀
The next morning, you wake up in bed like nothing ever happened
You think it’s a dream, especially because your house seems like the man was never there
So you ignore your weird dream and try to get ready for an early class
You didn’t notice the half-eaten meat in the fridge until later
That’s when you questioned whether you dreamed of the strange man
The bloody cotton balls in the trash bin confirmed your suspicions
That night, you went back outside to walk in the same area
You saw the same man again across the street
This time he sees you and smiles really widely and walks basically runs towards you
And you accept his hug tho you’re kinda…still confused on what the heck is happening
But yknow what? He doesn’t seem dangerous, might as well make him some dinner (because that’s definitely the reasonable decision)
So you bring him home again and make steak and mashed potatoes
And he’s just like?? whAT IS THIS HEAVENLY FOOD YOU MADE
But obviously, he doesn’t really speak soooo he just enthusiastically bounces his head around and does a little dance
We gotta change that tho, so you slowly teach Seungcheol words by holding up items and saying them, and then making him repeat them
And slowly he learned more!
Obviously he’s happy to learn, but he has to be careful not to speak with his…secret family
He definitely needs to keep his secret since the full moon’s coming up soon…
But he decides to still visit you, and even memorizes where your house is
So every night, he comes and knocks on your door
Every night, you cook for him and teach him how to speak and write, and in return, he keeps you company and tucks you in bed
Spending time with him is like having a little puppy istg
Always bouncing around and being so interested with new things
Sometimes you’ll tell him to put something in the microwave and he’ll just stare at you and like furrow his eyebrows
Then you’ll remember he has the communication skills (and knowledge of machines) of a 3-year-old
Don’t even get me started on discovering the tv
He tilted his head to the side when you turned it on, and did that thing where little kids check behind the tv to find the people on screen
You also tried to make him shower but the second the water ran he was just like “nononononono”
He needs to stay messy or else his family will know he’s been going out to see a normal human
But he eventually takes a quick shower because you said you wouldn’t hug him otherwise
You buy him a change of clothes when he visits, but he always leaves them behind when you wake up in the morning like what?
He’s a questionable guy but trust me he’s a good person
Remember when I said he kind of imprinted on you?
It’s like a ‘protect this one at all costs’ imprint
He protec he attac but most importantly he snac on your meat
He feels like he needs to protect you now and keep you safe
He’s just a really close friend who even calms you when college gets stressful
And when I mentioned hugs earlier…they are giant wolf bear hugs
Listen ok he doesn’t really have a sense of love, his family doesn’t really show it directly
But you give him all the love he needs
You even fell asleep in his arms one night
You hardly remember it though, because you were back in your bed the next morning
All you have is the memory that it was nice and warm
But there’s a full moon coming up tomorrow
So before Seungcheol leaves, he tells you he won’t see you the next night
You’re really sleepy, so he brings you to your bed and brushes your hair away from your face before growling softly *cough* lovingly and leaving
The next night, you remember what Seungcheol said about not being there, but he never stays until morning wtf
Does he…have another family?
Wait no that’s impossible if he had a family someone would’ve taught him that the word “confused” means his mood 24/7
So when he doesn’t show up, you go out to look for him
When he isn’t on the streets, you wander and stumble across the entry to the forest, and start to hear noises
Growling…?
“Oh Seungcheol, is that you? It’s me Y/N”
Suddenly the growling gets louder
And a woLF JUMPS OUT FROM A BUSH AND LASHES OUT AT YOU
They tackle you, but suddenly another wolf pushes them off of you as the first wolf scratches you
And like I said before YOU ARE TERRIFIED OF WOLVES
So you’re just frozen in fear and confusion
You could try to escape, but the wounds on your shoulder are bleeding and the pain is stinging really bad
All you can do is watch as 2 wolves battle it out before one wolf chases the other away
The remaining wolf starts charging at to you, but you just scramble to get up and try to grab the nearest stick to protect yourself
You hesitate at running when you see a familiar scar on the wolf’s face
It can’t be him…right?
But it makes so much sense
The growling
The scars
The messiness
The limited knowledge of anything basically
He’s just a wolf?
But then wtf has been happening?!?!
Have you been hallucinating and hugging a wolf?!
Or worse: werewolf
So they do exist.
You throw the stick at the wolf and run all the way home crying of pain
There were way more tears as you tried to disinfect the big scratches on your shoulder
And there was no Seungcheol to comfort you or tuck you in that night
The next day, you can’t go to class with a giant scratch bothering you so you tell a classmate you’re sick and ask for any updates on assignments
You feel sick to your stomach anyways
You know how sick it is to fall in love with a monster?
IM CREEPIN IN YOUR HEART BABE that’s the 3rd exo reference already I’ll stop now
When your doorbell rings that night, you check through the peephole and see the same scarred face you always love to see
But given the circumstances, you just walk away from the door
Before you can leave the room, you hear a soft voice
“Y/N? Does the wound hurt?”
“Go away, you monster”
The sound of “monster” tore Seungcheol’s heart in half
All he did was sit against your front door
For hours
Until he was sure you were asleep
Then he left for home
He didn’t go back the next night or any night after that
His family noticed him not going out at night anymore, and thankfully didn’t disown him or anything
They actually felt really bad because Cheol’s adoptive brother was the wolf who attacked you, and it was their fault he had to visit you in secret
Even though his family didn’t teach him human things, they knew how to speak and just chose not to teach him
So when he heard them speak to him, he was v angry but at the same time happy? Bc he can finally communicate with them better
And they finally started teaching him to speak and write better
Which made him more courageous to do…something
One morning as you stepped out the door, you found a bouquet with a small note
~From Seungcheol
Of course, it’s not just a bouquet, it’s a man holding a bouquet
Yknow what? I don’t think you need to be scared of wolves anymore
“I’m sorry my brother attacked you…”
“Wait that was your brother?!”
“Yes did you not know??”
“No?!? That’s why I was angry oh gosh I’m so sorry”
It gets kind of awkward…
…Until he gives you a big hug
And you teach him what a kiss is (if you know what I mean😉)
I think it’s safe to say things are back to normal
If you consider having dinner with a werewolf every night as normal
Ok I know Vampire!Gyu has a dog already bUT WEREWOLF!CHEOL WITH A PUPPY
Ohmygod they could communicate
I’m actually screaming internally like you’d bring him to the shelter and he’d wait until no one is looking and start growling at all the dogs and then whisper to you “this one was abused by his previous owner” and “this one never knew her parents”
And in the end, it would be really sad because you want to adopt all of them but you can’t
So you both decide on this one fluffy puppy and you and Cheol are soft af at this smol pup
Every time you get home from school there are just 2 puppies to shower you with kisses
WHERE’S THAT 1 GIF OF SEUNGCHEOL AND THAT PUP IT’S WHAT I ENVISIONED
You’ll walk into the living room and they’re both growling and barking at each other
“Y/NNNNNNNN come play with us! Both puppies agree you better get over here”
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b0gvvitch · 7 years
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Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this. whomstsoever has sent me this ask >:(
but i guess now i gotta
pearl: if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
Probably Norway. It’s cold, foresty, oceany, fjordy. I’m a fan of Norse mythos but largely it’s just beautiful up there, especially with the northern lights. I’ve always wanted to see them. I’d love hiking and camping out in them scandinavian woodlands. 
sails: describe your perfect partner.
I don’t really like questions like this it’s silly. There’s no perfect partner, everyone got their own charms. Basically I just like a partner to click in some way u kno, thats why you like each other. whether its shared interests or something else. i cant put a concept of perfection on that, its unfair. Esp when you’re polya i feel.
lighthouse: how much makeup do you wear?
not much, usually i only do eyeliner and lipstick if im goin out. sometimes i get a lil extra on my eyes, maybe sum cheek action. idk how foundation and all that works.
shells: would you prefer to be a vampire or a werewolf?
awooooo i’d hate immortality.
mermaid: most embarrassing moment?
god i honestly dunno how i could pick one. like im tryin to recall specifics but its hard
turquoise: weirdest dream you’ve ever had?
there was one time i had a nightmare(????) where i was trapped in a bizarre haunted house and the haunted house itself was my wife’s irl ego extension plush cthulhu, i was trapped inside of them. i don’t have time to explain any of that but bizarre dreams related to this cthulhu plush are actually not uncommon among our close friend group so uhh make of that what you will. 
waves: favourite season and why?
falllll. when it’s actually cold, im in texas, its layers season. love them orange and yellow leafy cronch. such a nice color palette. halloween. some nice foods are in season.
breakers: would you ever consider getting married?
I’m already married!!!
seafoam: describe your ideal summer vacation.
traveling somewhere that is cooler than 85 degrees or at least some nice chill swimming that isn’t packed with people. 
rain: if it were possible, what exotic animal would you keep as a pet?
capybara!!! unless you count ravens as exotic. which i dont, they’re everywhere. but I’ve loved capybara for vry long time and i’ve known people who have had seemingly happy capybara pets.
sunlight: least favourite song?
god idk this is a hard question there’s a lot of music out there i despise
marine: would you ever consider plastic surgery?
at this moment in time i say nah 
sea glass: what do you consider to be your best physical feature?
uhhh my dimples i guess. people point them out all the time. 
storm: do you like piercings and tattoos? Why or why not?
hell fuckin ya! both. because they’re fuckin cool. 
boardwalk: who is your favourite fictional couple?
cliche goth/tumblr answer here but Morticia and Gomez Addams 
coral: if you had to describe your personality as a food, what would you be and why?
what a weird question uhhh mashed potatoes, easy going, floofy, versatile, nobody hates me for my personality as far as i can tell, and i love potatoes. 
nymph: old-fashioned or modern decor?
a lil bit o both is achievable. 
seawater: scariest movie you’ve ever watched?
this is hard to say cos i don’t scare easily with movies and really specific concepts do, mostly supernatural creep factor and suspense but again still specific. Like growing up Poltergeist freaked me the hell out. Stuff like Alien and Event Horizon are also some movies that got me the most. 
siren: in a fantasy setting, would you be a warrior, rogue or mage?
arcane trickster
tempest: your favourite Pokemon?
so I have most experience with original 150 and i was rly into the legendary birds. 
tropic: what is your least favourite thing about your appearance?
that i got hair growin outta my dang face also my butt chin
aquamarine: describe your dream date.
hmm idk dates are such a dynamic interest. again i can’t pinpoint such a thing. just any nice engaging date with a partner, either goin out 2 eat or a movie or watchin a movie or something together on the internet or somethin. 
brine: gold or silver?
silver. love that argentum.
tidal: what is a colour that best describes your personality?
something dank and purple
azure: what is something that you do that makes you happy?
talkin to or doin stuff with people that i love. any degree of activity therein. just bein around them even.
fog: describe where you think you’ll be in five years.
for sure probably in the PNW somewhere. 
coastline: what is your favourite flower?
daffodil! Anything under that Narcissus genus
shallows: what is your typical Starbucks order?
i couldn’t tell you when the last time I went was
voyage: what are your favourite names?
fuck i dunno. there’s too many names to pick faves
shipwreck: do you have an OC? If so, describe them.
I mean, I have a dozen different D&D characters I’ve written out and played? idk how to narrow that down for ya. But here’s one from a d&d podcast I play in (GHOSTPUNCHER.NET CHECK IT OUT) her name is Elektra and she’s a  wyrd nerdass synth bard and pretty cybergoth/punk and gay and likes tall gals. 
cerulean: do you believe in true love?
i don’t get this question like what would this even mean. what is true love what is false love? you either feel and know you love someone, of varying degrees and ways, or you don’t and you lie to yourself and them for any number of reasons. i guess if we’re talkin about that hyper romance ~one true love soul mate~ kinda stuff, then no i guess not. But I believe in specific kinds of strong love for people.
shoreline: if you could become fluent in another language, which would you pick and why?
Norwegian has always been an interest, it sounds cool, has lots of close ties with origins of English, more than German maybe and it’s a country I’d actually consider moving to. 
tsunami: describe a dream outfit of yours.
idk im not awake enough to give a good description but honestly like Demobaza and Rick Owens kinda shit is def my jam aesthetically. 
riptide: are you introverted or extroverted? Are you happy with this?
I’m capable of like, talking to people and being personable but I’m p introverted, i most often prefer isolation. 
hurricane: describe a strange habit of yours.
im def a twiddler and a rocker idk if stimming type stuff counts. its hard to self-identify weird habits i might have i guess. idk. im so tired of this survey please let me go
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graymalkyn · 7 years
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Hello! Um... Could i ask for the sassy comments one for the RFA? Yoosung and Saeyoung is my favorite pairring, but anybody else would be good too? =(^•.•^)=
This universe takes place two years after the RFA party, and MC (Noona) and V are married. Headcanon!Seven is genderfluid with preferred pronouns, and Yoosung is his boyfriend and partner in crime. This one was hard because lots of ‘Office Staring’ are purely physical and they don’t translate well into text. At least not for me. Regardless, it was interesting, so thanks for the prompt!
3) Yoosung and Saeyoung ~ Whispering sassy comments to each other and ‘staring into the cameralike they’re in The Office’ looks but they’re each other’s cameras
“Is the camera ready?”
“Camera ready,” Seven announced, adjusting his glasses.
“Is my hair okay?”
“Estupendo!”
“That’s the latest LOLOL spell!”
“It’s also a Spanish word for ‘great’, my uncultured kitten. Ready? And…rolling!”
“Okay, so today we’re going to have dinner at V’s,” Yoosung explained. “We’vebrought snacks and drinks because someonecan’t live without Dr. Pepper.”
“That’s me,” Seven said to the rear-view mirror. “He’s talking about me.Hey babe.”
“What’s up babe. Anyway, we’ve got this bet going on, mostly on threethings: Zen’s love for cameras, V’s long-running sentences, and Jumin’s failureto understand informal language.”
“Excuse me,” Jaehee said from the backseat. “But we’ve been parked forlike 5 minutes now. Isn’t it time for us to get out of the car and let themknow we’re here?”
“Sure, go ahead, Jaehee!” Seven replied merrily.
“This is a two-door car, Luciel!” Jaehee barked. “Unless you want me tostep on your head or slash through the roof, I suggest you let me out now!”
“Ack! Not my Baby Rolls-Royce!” he cried, quickly opening the door.
“Let me tell you,” she stated as she stepped out, “that Mr. Han has beenbrowsing that urbandictionary thing every free moment he has, so don’t test himon informal language. He might surprise you, and not in a good way. Sometimeshe has no sense of timing whatsoever.”
“Aaargh, we should have teased him that time during the last RFA party!”Seven groaned.
The doorman let them in and as they rode the elevator, Yoosung wondered,“So in the end, as a camera, would you go ‘Snap!’ or ‘Click!’?”
“Despite my appearance, I’m old school. First I’d go ‘Whiiiiirr’, then‘Click-clack’!”
“Ooh, you’d click-clack! Neato!”
“… I want to get out of here,” Jaehee sighed. “I swear it’s likebabysitting.”
“You’d rather look after Elly, then?”
A look of confused horror that seemed to spell out cat hair appeared in Jaehee’s face. The elevator pinged and sherushed out, leaving behind the smirking couple.
“Jumin has just called to say he’ll be here shortly,” V said, while hehelped put the things away. “I had no idea he would be taking part in the negotiationswith the council of the national development agency for the arts. I thought itwould be Chairman Han’s responsibility, since he’s always aimed at becoming apatron of the arts and this is the first step in that direction.” He blinkedwhen he noticed Yoosung and Seven staring at each other with a ‘that didn’t take long’ expression intheir faces. “Have I said something that perhaps I shouldn’t have?”
Jaehee stifled a chuckle and cleared her throat. “Ah, where’s Zen?”
“He’s smoking in the balcony,” Noona replied, handing V two platterswith snacks. She sighed. “Luciel, we can’t have this much sodium.You’ll be taking the leftovers with you. But… On second thoughts… No, youshouldn’t relapse either. How long did it take you to quit those Honey Buddhachips?”  
Seven gave Yoosung an all-knowing look. “Now that Noona is pregnant,I’ll admit it feels a little bit like having a mother. RFA’s favorite doll,Noonya, comes with a PhD and a mouth for nagging. Batteries not includ—Eeee!”he squealed as Noona slipped an ice cube into his shirt. “Meanie!”
“There, there,” Yoosung patted him. “Want to go take pictures of Zen?”
As expected, Zen was highly cooperative when it came to posing. “Give mepassion!” Seven shouted as Zen bit his lower lip. “Click-clack! Now give mestrength!” He watched Zen flex his muscles. “Click-clack!”
“Are… Are you really taking the pictures with your glasses?”
“What are you saying?”
“Well…” Zen said slowly, “I can’t help but notice you’re making thesounds with your mouth…”
“That’s just to make you feel as if you were in a studio. You’re a star,Zen! Click-clack!”
“Oh… Okay then!” Zen beamed.
“Such a luminous smile, my heart goes dugeun-dugeun! Give me a roar!”
“ROAR!”
“Click-clack! Give me a howl!”
“AWOOOOO!”
“Click-clack! Give me a meow!”
“NYAAA! Eh?”
“Click-clack!”
“Seven, you jerk! Come here!”
Seven ran into the apartment and into the living room when he bumpedinto Jumin. “Ouch! Mr. Director! You’re finally here! I’ve got a businessproposal.”
“Not interested,” Jumin replied laconically. He looked over Seven’sshoulder and said, “Ah, you’re here, Assistant Kang, and with Zen. V and Noonaare waiting for you to start the meal.”
“I bet that jerk hasn’t even noticed I’m wearing a Ferragamo jackettoday, courtesy of my latest sponsor. Apparently, she gave it to the presidentof my fan club because she heard I’d be having a TV interview next week. Such aclassy lady, heh… Unlike Jumin Han. That bastard is always so unimpressed,” Zengrunted as they sat down around the coffee table.
“Mr. Han’s like that because he’s never been a fan of anything, exceptfor cats,” Jaehee pointed out. “And if you tried to explain it to him, I don’tthink he would understand how fandoms work.”
“But he is part of a fandom. The Jesusfandom,” Seven whispered, as he turned to Yoosung.
“Religion is not a fandom, guys,” Zen chuckled.
“But… Well, I suppose that could be argued,” Noona mused. “There aresome common traits, right? Some sort of subcultural interconnection, and adisplay of devotion that at times can be too fervent. And if you consider themany limited edition items that can be acquired, like the Splinters of the TrueCross-”
“Miss, Miss!” Seven pssted.“Stop talking dirty, or else V will get turned on!”
V gigglesnorted. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s nice to see V laughing this way,” Zen smiled. “You know what theysay, ‘a smile is a curve that setseverything straight.’”
“Except for Jumin,” Seven said to Yoosung. “Nothing could turn himstraight.”
“We should know about this,” he replied with a grin. “Meanwhile, Seven’sonly straight-ish when she wears her Mary Vanderwood 3rd costume forme.”
Seven shrugged, reluctantly impressed. “Technically, I can’t argue withthat.”
V blushed and waved his hands. “Guys, we don’t… I’m sure you wouldrather we respected your intimacy, so perhaps you should hold this discussionat another time?”
“Whenever V speaks with long words none of us can really understand him,”Seven said, staring at Yoosung. “He doesn’t know this, but we have this secretcode to stop him, and when he starts with the long sentences, we mentionElizabeth 3rd.”
“That’s the code for when Zen becomes a bit of a narcissistic douche,”Yoosung replied in deadpan fashion.
“Oi!” Zen snapped, blushing upon hearing Jumin’s discreet snicker.
“Am… Am I really that hard to understand?” V murmured to Noona.
“And that’s how you create a hashtag sad face,” Seven said to Yoosung,clicking his tongue.
Noona wrapped her arms around him and kissed his forehead. “They’re justmessing with you, honey, you know what they’re like… Right?” A flash of angercrossed her eyes, which seemed to say Ifyou don’t apologize I’ll strangle you.
“It’s just a joke,” Jaehee reassured V. “They’ve been fooling around forhours. It’s probably the sugar rush talking. You two, come to the kitchen tohelp me with some things.” As soon as they went in, she grabbed Seven by thearm and whispered, “Will you be uploading those photos to the Tripter bot?”
“Puh-lease. Does Jumin Han is gay?” Seven asked, as if the answer wasobvious.
“I’ve already told you he isn’t.”
“Oh. Well, yes, they’ve already been queued.”
“Excellent. Please bring over the fondue,” Jaehee chirped merrily,taking with her a bread basket. She bumped into Jumin on the way out.
“Luciel,” he asked, closing the door behind him, “I understand you’vemanaged to take a photograph or two of certain people acting like cats?”
“Sir, yes sir! Just as planned! Don’t worry, I’ll forward them to youre-mail address.”
“Much appreciated.”
Seven turned to Yoosung. “Jumin really wants the D.”
“Excuse me?” Jumin raised an eyebrow.
“The Dee-gital Images!” Seven grinned.
“I’ve heard of photographs referred to in that way, but not as ‘D’.Perhaps that’s something I should add to that entry in the urbandictionary…” herambled as he walked away.
In the kitchen, Seven and Yoosung roared with laughter.
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