#AND KERALIS OH GOD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

umbrify · 2 years

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Finally finished taking notes on all the Empires POV’s that I take notes for. My hands are dead and I am tired. Here’s some of my personal highlights from today’s shenanigans, in no particular timeline order:

Scott Smajor having the coolest “hermits join the server” moment, with the purple sky and the fog. Very cool of you

Joel vibrating at the seams because he’s so excited his friends are here and he’s trying to be normal about it

Two different hermits absolutely gushing over Gobland and how cool it is

Scar: I love the colors in here, they go together so nice! / fWhip: I’m glad you think so, because I’m colorblind! So!

Whatever was going on w Sausage and Keralis. Why are they like that (affectionate)

Sausage being So Incredibly Normal about Pearl being there

Pearl wore her season one skin holy shit

Scott explaining Pearl away by saying she’s a cosplayer. A… god cosplayer. Yep.

The fact that they clearly did NOT discuss wether they knew each other or not. schrodinger's canon <3

Sausage: hey False what happened to the clothes you got off that dead guy that one time? / False, from Hermitcraft: ….what?

The hermits acting like they know Empires!Gem and her just being like “this is fine. Act natural.”

Doc meeting Pix and Pix is like “my world is gonna get real complicated for a bit!”

Also Doc made the Hermitcraft recap joke. Incredible

Sausage casually dropping his entire tragic backstory on Keralis and Jevin and then just. Moving on completely

Also the fact that Sausage greets them both by name and then acts surprised when they know his name a minute later, despite them calling him by it for a minute or two now. Great job everyone

Xisuma, guy who is bones, being paired with Joey, guy who hates bone people

RANCHER DUO REUNION! LETSGO!!!!

Jimmy ALSO got to see his evil soulmate, his soul enemy, if you will, Grian, who won’t let him have peace in any timeline

But Jimmy has SUCH a big smile on his face the whole time, you could tell he was so thrilled they were there

Impulse: Scott! My friend! My buddy! We’ve seen each other before, how are you! / Scott: I’ve never met this man in my life

Joe Hills saying he broke his arm but he’s actually just holding a stick while having litematicia installed and he doesn’t know how it works

The fact that Scar was the first one to consider that maybe the hermits should try to figure out how to get home?? Everyone was just like “ooh free vacation :)” and did NOT question it

Grian and Impulse blasting the Hermitcraft Recap music down the mic while they chase Pix around live on stream, and then Grian including that in his video so that Pix HAS to recap himself. Absolutely incredible work boys

And an extra special shoutout to the fact that fWhip and Grian have been working this out for four months now! Absolutely incredible, I’m so excited to see more. Oh my god

#empires smp #hermitcraft #esmp x hc #hc x esmp #which one are we using I don’t know. have both.#umbrify talks

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enpr-ss · 4 months

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KERALIS' FACE. OH MY GOD.

#keralis #xbcrafted #grian

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zedif-y · 2 months

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omg!!!! joel + "afraid" maybe???

Joel isn't afraid of water.

He grits his teeth, forces a smile when Grian looks over at him, head tilted in question. He shakes his head.

" 'm good," is what comes out of his mouth, casual as anything. "Don't wanna get wet."

Which is true, you know. He's not lying. He's just... Kinda not feeling the whole swimming thing right now. Even though he said he would. Multiple times.

...Nothin' wrong with that. A guy can change his mind, can't he?

Grian looks unimpressed, "You went to a beach party to people watch?"

Ugh.

"You went over here to judge?" Joel fires back. An itching something creeps under his skin. "I'll put sand in your wings, Grian, don't think I won't." Grian huffs.

"Someone's tetchy today," He mumbles. He stretches his wings, large swaths of red feathers that catch the sun, "Whatever. Call me if you need me, I'll be over by- Mumbo, are you sunburnt already?!"

Joel watches him go, amusement on his lips as Grian runs off. He lets out a breath.

Why'd he agree to this, again?

("Hey," Impulse says. "So, the other hermits and I were planning something, and we were wondering if you'd wanna-")

("Yes," Joel blurts out, then— "I mean no- I mean! What're- what's the plan?")

(Joel fights a wince.)

(Nice save, idiot.)

(But Impulse just smiles—thank the gods—and goes, "Well, it's nothing fancy or anything. Just a hangout at the beach. Grian found this awesome spot-")

And Joel promises he was listening. He was. It's just, you know. Exciting? 'Cuz he's one of the new guys and it's a whole new server to get used to and they actually want him to hang out, and that's great and he's got plans for builds, farms, and, and.

Maybe, just- maybe. He wants this to work out. Really wants this to work out. Wants to be here to stay.

Because like— Joel's a Hermit now. A real, bonafide Hermit, even though it doesn't feel real. Even if it hasn't quite sunk in yet.

So. You know. What's the harm, right?

("I'll be there," Joel says at last, grinning in a way that he hopes is casual and not painfully eager. "When's it happening?")

Joel can't help but wonder if this is turning out the way he wanted it to, though.

The heat prickles at his skin, leaves him sweating and uncomfortable in his rolled up shirt and pants. He fans himself with the front of his shirt, just watching the others pass the time.

Hermitcraft's got a variety of members— Jevin laughs as xB drenches Keralis in a spray of water, halting when sand is thrown his way in return. ("You know that sticks to me!") Xisuma's in swim trunks and his usual helmet, fanning himself with his hands like it'll stave off the heat. Tango doesn't even break a sweat.

Something worms into his chest, an ugly, twisting feeling that curls around his lungs.

Joel grimaces. Oh, what the heck.

Biting his lip, Joel looks down at his chest, under his shirt. He doesn't exactly grimace, but there's nothing happy about his face, either.

Again, ugh.

Joel sighs, shaking his head. He goes back to people watching, ignoring the prickling discomfort under his skin. This is fine. This is fine.

At the corner of his eye— Pearl stands by the side, cracking jokes with Etho. They're both still wearing jackets. It makes something in Joel unfurl, just a little bit.

He tears his eyes away before they spot him.

The thing is— Joel doesn't, like, hate himself or anything. Not anymore, or at least not right now. And he's not afraid of water, despite how intensely he stared at the sea. It's just, it's...

Joel chews on his lip, picking off dried skin. The small tears bleed, droplets of blood on his tongue as he licks them away. He barely realizes he's doing it— and by the end, his lip twinges a little, reddened and sore.

Sweat makes his clothes cling to his skin. Joel wishes he hadn't agreed to any of this at all.

"You got room for one more?" A voice asks, jolting him out of his thoughts.

Joel turns to look— "Zedaph," He says, surprised. He scoots over his (frankly, way too large) beach blanket, "Yeah, I've got- yeah. You can sit."

Zedaph grins, "Just Zed is fine," He tells him, sitting next to Joel.

He's not in his usual getup right now, Joel notes. Not that he'd know. He's only talked to the guy twice, seen him in meetings. But something about the lack of a cardigan, although understandable, strikes Joel as a bit off— it's like seeing your teacher in casual wear outside of school. Makes sense, but it's kinda weird.

"You gonna swim?" Joel asks, just for something to fill the air. By the water, Scar gets pinched by a crab. Joel snickers.

Zedaph watches on, amused. "With how hot it is, I feel like I already am," He huffs. He rifles through his inventory, a pink fan appearing in his hand, "But no, I don't think I will. It's a nightmare on the wool."

Joel hums, makes sense.

"How about you?"

Joel frowns— he doesn't mean to, it just kinda happens— and says, "Uh, dunno. Maybe? I don't-" He makes a face. "I said I would, but now 'm not sure."

After a beat, Zedaph shrugs. "Well, you've got time," He says at last, and that's that.

They settle into people-watching, for the most part. Just watching the other Hermits bask in the sun, laughing and splashing around as the day goes on.

It looks— it looks fun. It looks so fucking fun.

Joel grits his teeth, the hand gripping the front of his shirt tightening without his notice. What the heck. What the heck.

Frustration gnaws at him, eyes caught on the way they all carry themselves, loose and carefree. Not at them, obviously, it's at his stupid, like, brain—

Joel lets out a breath, deep and measured.

He wanted to come. He said he'd come, join in and swim and whatever else. But now he's here and he's sitting in the shade and not even talking to Zedaph because he can't get a hold of himself, too worked up over nothing as he agonizes over the fact that his shirt is clinging to his skin and it's wrong and it's weird and it feels like, like.

Joel lets his gaze drop to the sand at his feet.

It feels like if they knew, if they saw him the way he saw himself, then they'd, like, regret inviting him here. Or something. Here being the server and the world and not just beach party.

Which, which is stupid and he knows this, but it's so hard to shake— like, how did he even get here, again?

Joel bites back a groan. Today is an awful day to have blummin' imposter syndrome.

For goodness' sake, now he's sulking.

After a while, Zedaph speaks up.

"Are you alright?" He asks, eyebrows drawn together. Joel wants to evaporate on the spot.

He shakes his head, then grimaces. Now he's acting like a toddler.

"Oh," Zedaph says, looking a bit lost. Joel can relate. "...Thirsty?"

Joel blinks. "Huh?"

"Sorry," Zedaph's cheeks flush pink, shaking his head, "I'm not very good at this. D'you want to talk? I can listen if you want."

Joel thins his lips, weighing his options.

He thinks that in another world, another time he probably would've just kept this to himself. 'Cuz he can handle this, he's not a kid. But somewhere along the line— the line of repeatedly bottling shit up, having it rattle and shake and eventually explode— he sort of. Well.

Maybe he realized that that doesn't work. Anymore.

So, "It's stupid."

Joel winces. Great start.

"I mean, it's not. I guess. It's just, new guy jitters, you know?" He tries to explain, watching as understanding dawns on Zedaph's face, a knowing smile that puts a balm on the static-y feeling in Joel's veins. "I'm sorta freaking out about, everything? Even the ones that don't make sense."

His cheeks burn red, "Like the way I'm all sweaty and gross and— I kinda don't want people to see, my body—?" He cuts himself off, his face pinched like he swallowed a lemon. "It's, you know. Not just because of gender things, but it is kind of that, but it's... Gods, Zed, just tell me they aren't gonna kick me out."

The last words come out in a rush, high-pitched and not squeaky as they tumble past Joel's lips. Zedaph blinks.

"Before I joined Hermitcraft, I was falling through the sky with my own sick on my head," Zedaph starts. Which. "Before that, the first ever thing I did was dig a hole in the ground and call that my home. And make an egg farm. But mostly the digging."

Joel tries very, very hard to find where this is going. (A fool's errand, from what he's heard about Zed, but still.)

"When I was asked to join Hermitcraft, my first thought was— really? Me?" Then, he laughs. "But they were serious! And I even asked Tango, then, if it was some elaborate prank. But it wasn't! They really wanted me on here!"

Zedaph gestures around them, "It's easy to get caught in your head, I get that. But we know what we're doing—" He pauses. "When it comes to this, at least. When the Hermits invited me, they knew what they were signing up for— vomit and worms and holes in the ground. And possibly a hint of death and malpractice. Of all sorts."

The knot, slowly unraveling in Joel's chest, starts to loosen up.

Somehow. What was that about death?

Zedaph nudges him, "So lighten up, yeah? Nobody's getting kicked out." Joel manages a smile.

"Thanks, Zed-"

"I mean, if people got kicked out for being sweaty and gross, there'd be no one left!" Zedaph leans in to stage-whisper, "What, you think Impulse didn't sweat in season 9? With all that lava?"

Joel snorts, "Point taken."

Zedaph grins. He leans back, resting on the base of the palm tree they've settled under.

"Take your time to figure out if you're swimming or not," Zedaph tells him, purple eyes glinting under flecks of sunlight. "But nobody will mind if you just stay here. Promise."

Joel nods. This time, smiling comes easier.

"Okay," He replies. He lets out a breath, watches as the sun shines down on the beach, "Thanks, Zed."

"Not a problem."

---

(Joel doesn't, in fact, end up swimming.)

(He watches the sun set on the horizon, eats barbecue at the makeshift grill Skizz brought. It's only the best thing he's eaten all day.)

(Joel laughs at something Gem said, so hard that his lungs kind of hurt.)

(Sitting around a bonfire, shirt smelling like smoke, his anxieties lay forgotten, for now.)

(Joel doesn't swim. Maybe he won't for a while.)

(But there will be more opportunities to try.)

#THEY ARE NOT ALL GOING TO BE THIS LONG. PART OF THIS IS OLD WRITING AND I JUST ENDED UP FINISHING IT SKLDJHGSDG #joel smallishbeans #zedaphplays #zedaph plays #hermitcraft #hermitfic #hermitblr #mcyt #mcytblr #ryan's writing #ask games #anon #hermitcraft season 10 #hc s10

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shade-e-e-es · 9 months

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A ship I dont think anyone else under the sun has considered: Keralis and Martyn

Ok actually. Anon. Your mind. They would be horrible together. There would be so many innuendos. They’d bounce off each other so well. Oh my god.

(I’m looking to draw hermit rarepairs, if you got one send me an ask babyyy)

#hermitcraft #hermitshipping #hermitshipblr #keralis #inthelittlewood #inthelittlewood fanart #keralis fanart #congrats on your free art!! xd

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mochiwrites · 2 months

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the hermits all go out for drinks together and grian or scar (ur choice) gets white girl wasted and starts flirting hard with the other one, like in front of most people. like if it’s grian straight up in scars lap lounging taking up all his space, if it’s scar he’s cuddled up behind grian cooing in his ear rubbing his back lightly. at some point they get separated from everyone else and when they come back they’re both covered in leaves (“what happened? why r u guys covered in leaves?” “fell out of a tree”)

oh my GOD

it’s the hermits hosting some kind of big celebration. keralis brings drinks that Will fuck you up

I love both the idea of grian And scar getting really drunk… but I’m a very big sucker for grian in scar’s lap—

scar is very flustered by it because a) it’s his husband. who is very pretty. in his lap. and b) it’s early on in their time with the hermits that neither of them are fully used to being all flirty around other people (scar is the first to fully get used to it)

so having a drunk grian in his lap, flirting with him… void help him, he really might just combust, especially if grian keeps tracing his finger over his chest. he even falls asleep there at some point and scar is Doomed

BUT ALSO THE IDEA OF A DRUNK SCAR….

he’s so very much affectionate with grian, cuddling into his side and being handsy with him. once again, if it’s in the earlier days, grian isn’t fully used to pda yet, so scar being so cuddly has him very flustered. he pets grian’s wings a few times which is SO embarrassing for grian. his husband is trying to kill him. he is actively attempting to murder him mumbo stop laughing and help get him home

I’m also so obsessed with the idea of them falling out of a tree or even like falling into a bush or something. the chances of them doing something stupid goes up by 50% when they’re drunk LMAO

#mochi speaks #secret husbands au

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kazisonline · 3 months

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My fresskall Hermit College AU, hermit clubs:

Basketball Team:

Iskall

False

Hypno

Wels

Jevin

Gem (Reserve)

Etho (Reserve)

Science club:

Zedaph

Impulse

Tango

Skizz

Cub

Mumbo

Doc

Drama club:

Ren

Martyn

Joe

Scar

Art club:

Pearl

Bdubs

Beef

Student council:

Xisuma

Ren (of course)

Cleo

Grian

No club, but works at a tea house / coffee shop after school:

Stress

Keralis

Big B

Bonus: Empires College basketball team:

Joel

Oli

fWhip

Pixl

Sausage

Shubble (reserve)

Jimmy (reserve)

I've been thinking A LOT about this au and oh god I'm so invested. You might disagree with some, honestly I don't know if I shouldn't switch Grian and Scar when it comes to their clubs, but for now it's gonna be like this :3

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jadespeedster17 · 10 months

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Cub: You can’t hit rock bottom, if you already live there. :)

Mumbo: Dont put me in a situation, I’m at my limit, and very tired.

Gem: I only exist to spite god.

Pearl: The only thing I’m Fucking is Up.

Ren: Now hold the fuck up! … I’m the Fuck Up, hold me.

Doc: Don’t you feel Silly? Don’t you feel Stupid? Don’t you feel a little Ashamed?

Beef: Hehe, fuck the government, run with scissors!

Scar: Go ahead, ignore me all you want. I’ll talk to myself, I’m insane.

Keralis: please apologize before my therapist knows your name!

Xisuma: God knew I’d be too powerful with serotonin

Impulse: Pure of heart, dumb of ass.

Joe: Guys I don’t think I have much more Slay left in me.

Tango: I’m horny and I Hate Myself!

Zed: Yeah? Well can a mentally ill person of this!?

Grian: Hungry? Eat the government!

Etho: We are gods children and he left us in a hot car.

XB: Unfortunately due to personal reason; ahhhhhhhhhh

Cleo: On my way to have an intellectual conversation with your mom!

Jevin: Oh yeah I’m an idiot, but at least I’m not stupid.

Bdubs: Oops I made things awkward again time to disappear!

(Link: 380.7K likes, 1,504 comments, #possum #racoon #meme #voiceacting #voiceactor #funny My mental state is rapidly declining, Enjoy :) My first bit of voice acting I’m showing the world, Notice meeeeeeee https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8oFh1UY/ )

If anyone wants to draw this feel free lol

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sentientstump · 2 years

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oh hey i did requests from twitter

flat frog ftw

and a post from here (i cant find it <o> im so sorry) gave inspiration to this:

btw! ty for 1k :D

#oh god should i tag everyone #keralis #mumbo jumbo #zedaph #xisumavoid #vintagebeef #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #ethoslab #joe hills #goodtimeswithscar #bdoubleo100 #oh god

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mcytblrsexymen · 1 year

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Highlights from the Data Crunch Group Chat pt 2.

[ID: Screenshot reading Ethoslab but on a catgirl gf sort of way]

[ID: screenshot reading Can i say GoodTimesWithScar again (he was my bisexual awakening i wish I was joking)]

[ID: Screenshot reading xbcrafted. if not sexy then why giggle 🤨]

[ID: screenshot reading Dl pearl my beloved pearl, idk bdubs i guess]

[ID: screenshot reading tangotek yayayay bald hussy]

[ID: screenshot reading who are we to deny the carnal appeal of joe hills from nashville tennessee]

[ID: Screenshot reading please for the love of god cyberknife]

[ID: screenshot reading Love me some men in steampunk getup, what can I say.]

[ID: Screenshot reading If you put xisuma on the list i will literally punch you through a screen shit man is BITCHLESS!!!!!!!]

[ID: screenshot reading Zedaph as a rock, Zedaph as a cow]

[ID: Screenshot reading Groan hermitcraft]

[ID: screenshot reading Damp Wilbur Soot]

[ID: Screenshot reading Wilbur soot but in those events he put on where he plays god]

[ID: screenshot reading Hermitcraft S7 Xisuma - specifically StriderSuma]

[ID: Screenshot reading Hermitcraft (Life series)]

[ID: screenshot reading parkour tag (mcc) (misspelled it as fag by accident oh god thank goodness for autocorrect however it would have been a little funny]

[ID: screenshot reading Mayor FalseSymmetry of Cogsmeade. Wel love girl covered in blood]

[ID: screenshot reading Surprise! its ZombeCleo again! but the s8 hydra8 outfit version when she commmitted to the bit of training keralis and suggested cheating as a valid method]

[ID: screenshot reading Goodtimeswithscar. this is the gtws sexy website, Im obliged]

[ID: screenshot reading Pilriffs. cant stop thinking about the ‘please guys youre drawing me too sexy’]

[ID: screenshot reading Hermitcraft S9 bdubs (i know that moss cloak is hiding those abs)]

[ID: screenshot reading S9 mumbo (we have a movie that didn’t exist, a sexyman with no body, now a sexyman who barely exists)]

[ID: screenshot reading Grain (Grian)]

[ID: screenshot reading bdubs when he is putting someone corrupt into power (hc 7 or 9)]

[ID: screenshot reading Eddie Empires SMP pretty please that’s all]

#Data Crunch Group Chat

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