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madokamagicasecrets · 8 months

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I have some thoughts about the potential direction of Walpurgisnacht Rising after sitting on it for a while and watching the speculation on the part of Madoka fans.

I have a strong feeling that when Homura changes the universe at the end of Rebellion that my old theory has been confirmed, namely that she's only been able to create a pocket in the universe where things are dictated by her. We see this radius of influence when the corruption from her hostile takeover spreads across multiple star systems until solidifying into a sphere.

This frame of the "mystery girl" also hides an extra detail which may point in that direction, namely a barrier composed of the lizard sigil that represents devil Homura. We already know that Madoka's arrows pierced the veil of the incubation field. Perhaps she's trying to do the same?

Another odd detail is the presence of 2 Homuras. I don't necessarily think this is literal, though. It's possible that a second Homura does actually exist, but most likely only because much like the incubation field Homura's world is shaped based upon her desires and cognition, and this second Homura may be trying to say something about her. But what, exactly? Well, we know that this decision was really hard for Homura, in fact Rebellion implies that she's bordering on suicidal as a result of it. I posit that the second Homura represents her mental conflicts. She loves Madoka and wants to protect her and knows that what she's doing is selfish and that she's imprisoning someone she loves. It's the war that's being waged in her own mind that I think these 2 versions of her represent. I think that's who she's talking to on the phone, in a metaphorical way that's being represented quite literally. Note the way that the voice on the phone implores her to "bring hope" and "release that girl".

Another point of interest for me is the role of incubators in Homura's world. At the end of Rebellion she very openly states that she still relies on incubators as a system, but she's definitely very resentful towards them and is seen abusing one near the end of the film. One detail about the movie that I think is important is the recurring imagery of Kyubey's eyes. Throughout the majority of the film Kyubey is totally silent and we see repeated shots of his glassy, detailed eye. However, when being tormented at the end of the movie the art style changes into something more cloudy and abstract. I've wondered for a while if this would be the start of an incubators developing emotions and potentially contracting itself. I can't say for certain right now if that's the case, given we don't see incubators in the trailer at all, but given they all seem to be trapped in Homura's world with her, we may see something like that emerge in the plot.

Speaking of the incubators, some have brought up the possibility that the contract system now flows through Homura herself instead of Kyubey. It's hard to really verify this yet, but we do have some evidence pointing in that direction, mostly in the form of parallels. Homura's new world is very similar to the incubation field. It even shares some similar golden clockwork aesthetics with it. Note the way the moon is represented split down the middle with clockwork components apparent in the new trailer. I think that this new world is being run much like the incubators did, with Homura in charge of the "experiment". Has Homura become the monster she once hated as a result of her selfishness, trapping Madoka in the very same prison that she was tormented in?

It's also potentially significant to mention what the phone Homura uses in the trailer morphs out of: the same salamander seen in Rebellion that is squashed when she turns into Homulilly, except now instead of the typical purple and black tones, it's a bright red. Does this signal a potential rising frustration and anger, perhaps at herself for the reasons I listed above?

The version of Homura that we see in the trailer has a black hairband. Given she answers the phone and seems very confrontational with the person on the other end of the line, we have to assume that the other Homura has the red hair tie that she wore in Rebellion. This is significant because this hair tie belonged to Madoka and she puts it back in her hair near the end of the movie. The ribbon is her only physical memento from Madoka's existence before she became the law of cycles, and if you've read wraith arc you know that Homura has a significant crisis slowly forming that crescendos in Rebellion where she can't prove that Madoka ever existed. This is exemplified by her new memory manipulation magic rather than time manipulation. Remember, she doesn't have time magic anymore. She only had it in Rebellion because the incubation field caused her to develop a world based upon her memories.

So, if you didn't want to read any of what I wrote above, here's my primary hypothesis for what this movie is gonna be about.

Homura knows that this experiment is deeply flawed and as such her psyche has manifested a second version of her, a more sentimental version that wants this whole thing to come crumbling down and let goddess Madoka take her. In this sense it's quite a bit like Homura trying to figure out the truth behind the incubation field and Madoka and the girls trying to rescue her. But now it's Homura fighting against herself. The black hairband Homura is in charge and the red hairband one takes up the challenge of trying to overthrow her. The mystery girl on the trailer could be Homura. The lighting and framing make her appearance a bit ambiguous, but she has a bow. Many point towards Madoka on that front but Homura also had a bow, featured at the end of the original series. We've just gotten so used to her return to scavenged weapons in Rebellion that this detail has been forgotten. I also feel as though the Walpurgisnacht imagery may be literal in the sense that Homura's imagination may conjure up a transformation, but I think it's intended to be more of a metaphor. Homura's world harkens back to a longstanding theme in the shoe of incredibly powerful beings trying to escape despair through false realities. Homura is the stage master now, whose nature is helplessness (trapped by her own selfishness), and has in a way become the monster she faced so many times. And now she has to stop herself. It may even be possible that the other girls with their altered outfits are allying with this renegade Homura to help her stop herself, much like time loops past. I don't think this will manifest as a time loop where Homura becomes Walpurgisnacht because her existence was represented by a gramophone in Rebellion, aka a broken record. And at the end of the movie it literally explodes because she's shattered literally any chance of this loop happening again. This is the end for all of them.

I think this hypothesis is headed in the right direction but ir definitely neglects some details in the trailer, such as the finer points of the girls and their altered designs, the mystery girl, the role of the incubators and the second Homura, as well as if these signs that I've taken as metaphor may be more literal than I assume. I'm hoping that others can help fill in these gaps for me. Maybe by the time the movie releases we'll have predicted the entire meat of it, lol.

#madoka magica #pmmm #puella magi madoka magica #madoka magica rebellion #walpurgis no kaiten #walpurgisnacht rising

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sage-nebula · 13 days

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Once again I will make a longer post about Watcher's apology video when I have the time to sit down at my computer and type it (I'm on mobile right now because I'm about to have dinner), but I do want to quickly address something I've seen crop up a lot this weekend:

A lot of people have been insisting things along the lines of:

"No one asked for higher production"

"We were fine with blue and yellow text"

"Go back to Buzzfeed style"

"Ghost Files sucks, Unsolved was better"

And so on. While I'm not going to say I'm a huge fan of Ghost Files (it's my least favorite of the five Watcher shows I follow), I also wasn't a huge fan of BU Supernatural; I preferred True Crime since it was about things that had actually happened, just as I prefer Mystery Files now. (Oops, are my skeptic tendencies showing?)

Regardless, the thing I want to address here is that Watcher Entertainment — and Ryan and Shane, specifically — taking on a new format for their show isn't really about the audience. I mean, to some degree it is — they need people to watch so they can make money — but it's also about what they, as artists, want to make. And they don't want to make a show where they're seated behind a table with blue and yellow text. They want to make a show where they LARP living in a bunker with a red nuclear landline phone.

And that's okay.

Sometimes the content an artist wants to make differs from what their original fans followed them for. Think of it in terms of musical artists; often artists will start out making one style of music and will pick up fans for that. Then three or four albums later their style will change because they grew as musicians, or wanted to experiment, or did a bunch of drugs, or a combination of those things. And their old fans find they hate this new style. And that's okay. It's fine to prefer the older albums. But it doesn't mean the band has to stop playing in the new style just because the old fans hate it, if the band truly likes what they're playing. Their feelings about their art matter, too.

And so that's where Shane and Ryan are with Ghost Files. It's fine if you, personally, preferred Unsolved Supernatural. But they, personally, seem to prefer Ghost Files. And since they're the ones making it, they get the final say on this one. I think that's fair. You can always still go back and watch old Unsolved Supernatural episodes. They're still around.

(As for me, well, they're not going to find ghosts no matter what format they use, so. I don't really care, lol. I just wish they'd not try to pretend some locations aren't ads when they clearly are. Looking at you, escape room episode. That was so lame.)

#watcher #watcher entertainment #buzzfeed unsolved #ghost files #shane madej #ryan bergara

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starrysharks · 1 month

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OK so I'm feeling some guilt I started to draw cartoony like you but I get frustrated because it does bot look perfect like yours it's mostly small stuff like colors and clothes I love making cartoony body's sometimes clothing but I have color picking because I'm still new to art that has colors is my feelings normal or is it wrong of me? And how do I pick colors because it frustrated me to no end and made me stop drawing for months anyway in short summary how do I color the right way like I guess I know skin tones but anything else goes wrong and the other summary is how do you draw clothing because I can't for the life of me get clothing right

don't worry - it's normal to get frustrated when drawing. i know i've literally quit and deleted entire illustrations in the past because i didn't like how the colors came out, and i can spend whole hours just choosing base colors TwT i think the important part about learning art is not to rush. i'm seriously flattered you see me as inspiration, but what worked best for me back when i heavily referenced other artists was "mixing" styles together to create a "new" one - so i'd recommend studying and copying multiple artists you like and trying to blend their styles into one if that makes sense! ^^

hating color picking is completely normal when you're first starting out, and even late into art like i said before - i've been making original digital art on ibispaint for about 5 years now, and it's still difficult. but it's easy to make it fun, and the best way to do that imo is to experiment! i'd recommend studying color theory on a larger scale, and understanding how certain colors might look completely different based on where you put them. or maybe make an illustration and color it in a bunch of alternative ways! also, having "bad" or "awful" color skills starting out is OK - i still think my colors suck sometimes even now lol.

anyway, the best way for me to color pick is to just use that color for whatever the OG artist used for their art. let's use alex ahad as an example because i find his art and color use super interesting -

i don't usually color pick, but when i do, i typically start with picking the eye color. then, based off of the eye color, i chose a base color based on the character's color pallete (easier of the eye color is already close to the main color of the character, which for clyde is turquoise).

then, i pick more colors directly from the reference, for stuff like skin. at this point i have a good idea of the colors i want to use and stop color picking from the ref, but there's no shame if you still feel you need to.

after that, based on the colors i picked, i'll color in the rest of the piece. i usually end up changing the colors that i did take from the reference due to experimenting - for me, i just use color picking as a sort of stepping stone for when i'm not sure how to color a piece the exact way i want.

eventually, you can learn to color pick by eye rather than with the picking tool in your art program, tho that takes a lot of knowledge on color theory.

really there is no "right" way to color, especially for skin imo - don't limit yourself to just peach, tan and brown. clyde's skin is bright white, but i still used a yellowy color here because it was relative to the other colors in the piece. i've also used "alien" tones for human-toned characters in the past before!

and about clothing folds - i can make a full post on that if anybody else is interested OuO

#ask zeno #zeno's art #ocs #ultimate x calibur #clyde blacktooth #long post

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bigstupid69 · 8 months

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They're all here now!!

Mischa was the first one I did so if his sheet looks off and poorly formatted it's cause it is…

Headcanons below the cut

Mischa

☣ Now before I say anything "why are all the boys with each other" uhm cause I was indecisive on if I liked starrypoet, spacerap, or nischa better, I still ship mischalia honestly sometimes even more. So I just threw the rest of them into the polycule regardless

☣ He is a short king, short Mischa truthers rise he is literally only an inch taller than Ocean, she probably intimidates him more than the other way away around (Need more absolutely unhinged Ocean's who are one point away from screaming at someone, Trinity theater Ocean changed my life/j)

☣ He's practically Ezra's adoptive older brother at this point, bond over the Saw franchise and ICP. He's surprisingly good with kids, like he's a good guy he just looks intimidating and crusty, which I did on purpose. But he is literally the sweetest one in the choir, super physically affectionate, gives good hugs.

☣ Along with Penny he also constantly looks like he's been shoved down a flight of stairs, which he claims is because he's gotten into fights. It's not, he just fell down the stairs like her. He wants to think he's all tough and everything but it's like the complete opposite, he's a dork.

Ricky

☄ They are best friends with pretty much everyone except Ocean for obvious reasons. Constance and them make Kandi together. He's wearing two Kandi necklaces on his uniform, both of them loosely based on the Kandi singlets I made for the choir members. (which of course you have no context to unless you're the like 5 people I've shown them to.)

☄ They're breaking so many dress code rules and the school is just too tired to care. Dyes his hair regularly with Constance, also I know lots of people love the Savannah Potts hc, it's cute!! But I physically cannot draw masc presenting people without shitty facial hair. It's an addiction. I'm so sorry.

☄ Their art style definitely is similar to the late 2000s anime style every shitty windows movie maker slideshow presentation had. with a mix of warrior cats and sparkle dogs. I couldn't really present that in the like 4 inch amount of space I gave myself.

☄ Him and Constance have matching tamagotchis, Noel also used to have one but it died and he sobbed for hours and never wanted to touch it again out of sheer guilt of killing a virtual pet.

Constance

♡ I'm ngl I like pretty much every Constance ship except for blackrose and kept seeing sugarspace art and thought it was cute. So there you go sugarspace crumbs, I'll draw them probably at one point.

♡ She is literally the reason why the choir is like mentally and physically stable. Course that's very mentally draining and never said it's a good thing!! She's probably pushed into the group therapist role at points, I hate the "mom friend" headcanon at points, it's accurate, but at points it can be really toxic, coming from personal experiences.

♡ She definitely shops at hot topic with Ricky and collects a bunch of really cheap fandom merch. Usually bracelets and necklaces, also really into styling hair. She braids Penny and Ocean's hair sometimes, and as mentioned before dyes her hair with Ricky.

♡ I don't like blackrose at all but they've dated for like… a day. It was not a great time. (Literally just one of those absolutely pointless middle school relationships that you forget about like immediately after a breakup)

#ride the cyclone #rtc #rtc musical #mischa bachinski #ricky potts #constance blackwood #rtc art #I am in love with Constance I'm ngl #she's so pretty #Honestly like this grouping more than the first 3 #also that's supposed to be an AAC in Ricky's backpack #that probably wasn't clear but y'know #my art

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angeloftheodd · 4 months

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PSA: A Survivor Could’ve Written Lolita. In Lolita, Dolores Haze experiences some of the trauma due to CSA that Vladimir Nabokov (the author) supposedly experienced in his lifetime.

TW: CSA, abuse, corrupt adults, survivor shaming, slut shaming

Stop shaming people for reading and enjoying Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, especially survivors of CSA. Stop shaming people for connecting with and relating to Dolores Haze through fashion, aesthetics, art, literature, poetry, etc. as a coping mechanism or style choice. It’s alleged and widely speculated that Nabokov was a CSA survivor. Some of what Dolores Haze’s experiences in the book is said to reflect his lived experience/trauma with CSA. Let us celebrate Dolores Haze in peace.

Yes, it’s been largely speculated (and agreed upon) that the tragic case of Sally Horner inspired Lolita, but some people today think Nabokov’s own lived experience likely impacted the story too. Dolores Haze is a tragic figure because of what she goes through in the novel and what she most likely represented in the context of Nabokov’s life and beyond. Her resilience, style, and attitude shine through all of it, which is part of why she’s such a literary and fashion icon today.

Some of the abuse Dolores Haze experiences at the hands of Humbert Humbert also describes what Nabokov’s Uncle Ruka allegedly did to him. In fact, there is an instance of CSA in Lolita that reads as eerily similar to what Nabokov supposedly went through as a child at the hands of his uncle. In Lolita, Humbert Humbert assaults/violates Dolores Haze while she’s sitting on his lap, which sounds very similar to what Nabokov’s Uncle Ruka is said to have done to him. I’ve also read that Nabokov’s parents basically ignored it because Uncle Ruka was set to leave a substantial inheritance once he died.

To be clear: It’s never been outright “proven” by any direct evidence that Nabokov’s Uncle Ruka victimized him. Nonetheless, a lot of people suspect this to be the case based on what they’ve learned about his life and from his writings. In fact, there’s an entire scholarly book called Solving Nabokov’s Lolita Riddle by Joanne Morgan for anyone who’s interested in reading a deep dive about it.

Let’s be real: If Vladimir Nabokov had spoken candidly about his experience with being victimized by his uncle, society would have undoubtedly shamed him. Society shamed Sally Horner because an old man pretending to be an FBI agent abducted her as a child. Society continues to shame Dolores Haze by blaming her for what happened to her as well based on popular misconceptions and blatant misreadings of Lolita. The film adaptations of Lolita only further enforce this fact. Furthermore, Dolores Haze is literally written by a survivor, yet no one ever mentions that when they discuss Lolita. The fact that there’s even a chance that Vladimir Nabokov might’ve written Lolita as a survivor needs to become part of the larger discourse surrounding Lolita.

Like I said, Dolores Haze has become a literary and fashion icon. She has inspires many people (including survivors), and that’s part of why nymphet fashion is a thing. Nymphet fashion helps me express myself creatively through fashion and practice self-care. I call myself a doelette because I specifically relate to Dolores Haze as a survivor. As such, she is often the inspiration for my fashion, aesthetics, and writing connected to my processing of and healing from trauma. I don’t deserve the hate I get for this.

Once again: Let us celebrate Dolores Haze in peace.

📸 The first Lolita cover (1955) - Wikimedia Commons

#lolita by vladimir nabokov #lolita aesthetic #loleetah #loleeta #nymphetfashion #nymphett #nymphett fashion #dollette #doelette #doelet #nymphcore #nymph aesthetic

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8um8le · 9 months

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I just love love your AU for Sun and Moon, seriously the story and art is so good ;-;;;

Anyways I wanted to know what your art journey looked like? Did you go to art school, or did you just watch tutorials? How do you practice? What's your general process?

I just really want to be able to make backgrounds and character designs/poses like you do!! Your art style is very satisfying, especially with the flat colors. I hope your week is awesome :D

WahhHHh that’s so sweeet!!! <333 happy to know you’re liking both the art and story wahhh <33 😭💕

Rant about journey n process or whatever under the cut!

Well, I’ve never been to art school yet, It’s all been self-taught :pp. I’ve been drawing as a little hobby ever since I could remember but only started to get into it when I started high school. I’ve only ever practiced with traditional art when it comes to my art journey as a whole, only started digital art when I turned 18, which explains my lack of knowledge of shading, and my somewhat clean lines.

Hmm practice? For me, art is very emotionally powered haha! So I like to draw things that make me happy, to make drawing a more calming experience. Though it’s good to challenge yourself every now and then, just make sure to have fun in between the work.

Process? Fnhnvdknf I’m not just a messy artist, I am also a messy individual, so art is basically almost a representation of my mental state. I love drawing goofy funny distorted in the middle of more detailed doodles, exaggerated cartoony expression are my fav <33

I draw when I’m happy, sad, stressed, angry, which affects the outcome of the drawing. Sometimes I’ll completely hate my art, sometimes I think it’s the funniest, I guess just like emotions our art can’t be “perfect” to us.

#ask ballad

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imaginesandbandfiction · 1 year

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Story of Our Life

A Harry Styles Imagine

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: None

A/N: This is something a little different that was inspired by a dream I had where I was singing Story of My Life with 1D in a car... Also, I made some cover art on procreate plz don't judge my mediocre art skills lmao. Hope you like it!!!!!

Masterlist

Excerpts from

STORY OF OUR LIFE

Y/N Styles

To Louis, the best chauffeur I’ve ever had.

To Liam, who keeps us all sane. Steady on, mate.

To Zayn, who always offers a shoulder to cry on (and a cigarette).

To Niall, the king of late-night chats (and snacks).

To Harry, for everything, forever.

Introduction by Harry Styles

Before she was my wife, Y/N Styles was Y/N Y/L/N. We met in 2011, six months before we would be setting out on the Up All Night tour. Even though I had been on TV, in recording studios, and performed live on the X Factor Live Tour 2011, I was still just a shy kid from Holmes Chapel who couldn’t quite believe his luck. I think I spent that whole year in a state of disbelief, afraid that at any moment, someone would tell me that it was all a joke and I wasn’t very good at singing, actually. Every time I took a shower, I half-expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out at me from behind the shower curtain. Y/N, on the other hand, walked into the conference room at Columbia Records, sat down at the head of the table, folded her arms across her chest, and asked us each, individually, if we had read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and, if so, how did we feel about it? Immediately, I knew that this girl was going to be someone special.

Her dad, Greg Y/L/N, was going to be our tour manager. When it was time for the label to put a team together, he was at the top of the list: a goofy dad with a daughter around our age who had toured with some of the biggest musicians of the 90s. He was the perfect choice for a bunch of kids who didn’t really know what they were doing: industry experience to make sure the day-to-day operations went smoothly, and the paternal instinct to protect us as best he could (we called him Papa Bear, which he pretended to hate, but we all knew he secretly loved it).

We grew up together, spent months on end traveling the world, learning algebra on private planes and sneaking out of hotel rooms to wander foreign cities in the middle of the night. Fast forward to today. While Y/N was pregnant with Willa, our second child, she spent the whole third trimester on bed rest. Eventually, she got so bored that she scrolled all the way back on iCloud. Our older daughter, Hazel, was fascinated by the pictures of me and the band, and Y/N spent hours recounting our days on tour. I told her that she should write a book, but she refused at first. We have enough money, she said. People will think I’m making a cash grab. I told her that was bollocks, but if she really felt that way, she could donate all the profits to charity. It’s perfect, really, I said. The 20-year anniversary of One Direction is coming up, and it would be cool to give the fans a peek behind the scenes. Really, there’s no one better than you, darling, because you know the real us. She agreed, but only if all five of us were okay with it, and if all of the proceeds could go to The Trevor Project. So really, it’s actually me you should be thanking for convincing her to do this in the first place.

Anyways, here it is. The Story of Our Life: Growing Up With the World’s Biggest Boy Band, written by my amazing wife, Y/N Styles.

Chapter 5

Out of all the One Direction boys, Louis was the first one to get his driver's license in America. He spent the few months leading up to the Where We Are tour with his girlfriend in California, and wanted to buy a fancy car to drive her around in. Hence, the license. So, when the tour made its way to North America, he somehow managed to convince my dad and the security team to let him drive us from the hotel to the venue a few times. Of course, the windows were tinted (and we were not allowed to open them), we were surrounded by a security detail, and there was always a bodyguard in the backseat, but it didn’t matter.

On the night of the second show in Detroit, we all piled into a tricked-out Toyota Sienna, the best minivan on the market in 2011. Louis and Liam sat up front, I was squished between Harry and Niall in the middle, and Zayn and the bodyguard sat in the way back. We had the radio blasting and were singing along to some absolute bangers, like Party Rock Anthem and Super Bass, when the first few notes of Story of My Life started playing. Louis groaned and reached over to change the station, but I leaned forwards and slapped his hand out of the way before he could, turning the volume up a few notches.

“Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain,” I sang along with Harry’s voice, turning to look at him with a mischievous smirk. He was mouthing along but bit his lip as soon as I caught him. Liam piped up with his part and I shook my head, laughing.

“Do you guys seriously only ever sing your parts?” I asked. Next to me, I felt Niall shrug.

“Feels wrong to sing someone else’s, even off stage,” he said, before chiming in on the background vocals as Zayn jumped in on his part.

“Well, you should do it anyway, just for fun.” Liam turns around and lifts his eyebrows in a silent challenge. Harry and Niall jumped in, and soon we were all belting out the words to every part.

When the final chorus came up, I turned to rest my head on Harry’s shoulder, singing his part back to him. He was usually the shameless one, but his cheeks were tinted pink and he stopped singing for a few seconds. His green eyes were wide, but they never once left my own. I felt his chest rise and fall in a deep, steadying breath before he began singing again.

From that moment on, Story of My Life was our song. Every time they performed it, he turned towards the side of the stage during the last chorus, where I sang along. On the rare occasions that I sat in the audience, his eyes always managed to find mine. We sang lines to each other all the time. Our favorite thing to do, much to everyone else’s dismay, was yell Zayn’s pre-chorus to each other from across a room.

“And I’ll be gone, gone, tonight,” one of us would start.

“The ground beneath my feet is open wide,” the other would respond.

“The way that I’ve been holding on too tight,” the first person would say, before we both shouted, “With nothing in betweeeeeeeen!” That line was always the loudest, and we always dragged out the last syllable until we couldn’t breathe anymore.

Chapter 9

When Harry’s solo album dropped, I was in class, taking my Algebra 101 final. My test-taking nerves were multiplied tenfold by the fact that I knew people were listening to it right now, and I wasn’t. We had kept in touch after One Direction broke up, mostly over text but occasionally, when he was in LA, he came to my house to have dinner with me and my Grandma (and Dad, if he was home).

I listened to it all the way through on the drive back home to Pasadena after I finished my exam, and as soon as I pulled into the driveway, I texted him.

I signed up for a presale code, and refreshed my laptop continuously for five straight minutes in order to get tickets for his LA show. Harry was furious with me. When I texted him that I was officially coming to the show, he called me in the middle of a meeting with his tour team to yell at me. Something along the lines of, “I put you on the VIP list, you dumbass! And invites to the afterparty were just sent out yesterday!”

To be fair, I just wanted to support my friend, and to this day I still feel uncomfortable asking for free tickets from anyone when I have the means to pay for them. I think it’s all the guilt from five years of attending One Direction concerts for free. But anyways, that next fall, I found myself backstage at the Greek Theater with a VIP badge around my neck, feeling intense deja vu as security led me to Harry’s dressing room.

“Y/N!” He yelled as soon as the door opened. I had no time to react; I was nearly knocked over by the force of his hug. His mom and sister were there, too, and I was passed around for more hugs before settling next to Harry on the couch.

“So, how’s it going? How’s school?” he asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. That’s one of the things I love most about Harry; no matter how long it’s been since he’s seen someone, he always picks back up like no time has passed. He is scary good at keeping up with what everyone else is doing, even when his own life

“Kicking my ass already and it’s only been three weeks,” I said with a chuckle. “But better than last year, that’s for sure!” Harry’s brows furrowed and he waited expectantly. “Did I not tell you that my original roommate was psycho?”

“No, I don’t think that’s come up before.” I pulled up a photo on my phone and handed it over to him without a word, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen his eyes wider than they were in that moment.

“Holy shit,” she said.

“I wanna see!” Gemma whined, leaning across the coffee table to snatch the phone from him. “Oh my god, Mum, look!” She handed the phone to Anne, who frowned down at it.

“This was your dorm?”

“For all of three days, yes,” you answered. “I’m not sure what creeped me out more, the life-sized cardboard cutout of Harry watching my every move, or the fact that she threatened to blackmail me if I didn’t introduce her to you.” Harry was doubled over with laughter with tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

“What are the chances of you, of all people, rooming with a crazy One Direction fan in college?” he asked, struggling to breathe enough to support his vocal chords.

“The school investigated and they found an invoice for a private investigator on her computer in a folder with a bunch of my personal information and photos of me that looked like they were taken from behind bushes and trash cans. Apparently, she gave him that paparazzi photo from the week we were in London during On the Road Again and he was able to track me down.”

“He was able to figure out your identity from that photo?” I nodded, and Harry looked impressed, yet mildly disturbed. “She must’ve paid a fortune.” The photo in question features all five members of One Direction on their way into the O2 arena, and in the background, you can see the blurry back of my head as I slipped into the back door ahead of them.

When it was time for Harry to get ready, a security guard led Anne, Gemma, and I to the VIP section and we settled in for the show. He killed it on stage, and it was great to see him back in his element, joking with the fans between songs and waving to everyone he made eye contact with. He performed What Makes You Beautiful and the cheers were so loud, even in the small-theater setting, that I knew I would probably have trouble hearing tomorrow.

“Alright, now normally I’d go straight into Kiwi, but there’s someone special in the audience today and this next song means a lot to the both of us, and she was the one who told me to sing all of the parts even though it feels weird, I hope you’ll forgive me for making you wait a few more minutes,” he said with a smirk, knowing that no one was going to complain about an extra song. My smile widened and Anne wrapped an arm around me, squeezing my shoulder, to acknowledge how special this moment was about to be. Just like old times, Harry looked straight at me as the intro music started to play.

“Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain,” he began, and immediately tears started welling up behind my eyes. I joined in, leaning my head on Anne’s shoulder for support. When he got to the second pre-chorus, he yelled out “And I’ll be gone, gone, tonight!” and held out his mic for the audience to sing the next line, but I caught an almost-imperceptible wink as he smiled up at me and I knew that he could care less if anyone else chimed in.

“The fire beneath my feet is burning bright,” Anne, Gemma, and I screamed, hoping that we were loud enough for him to pick our voices out of the crowd.

He sang the next line, and so did the audience, but I kept my mouth shut and joined in on the last line. He dragged out “between” so long that he had to jump back in on “I take her home.” I was the only one still singing along with him at that point, and the audience let out confused laughter, looking back and forth trying to figure out why he wasn’t moving on yet.

Chapter 11

We’ve never talked about how we got together, and once the gossip magazines found out that I was the daughter of One Direction’s former tour manager, they just filled in the blanks themselves. I try not to read those things, but I do remember seeing a few headlines like “CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS RECONNECTED!” over that grainy paparazzi photo of us in Holmes Chapel before the Manchester Love on Tour stops. Others spun the fact that I was doing PR on the tour into a fake “HARRY STYLES KISSES EMPLOYEE” scandal, and it just spiraled out of control from there. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

When the pandemic hit, I was at home in Pasadena with my dad and grandma. We had no other “bubble” because my grandma was immunocompromised. Needless to say, I got very bored very quickly. It got to the point that I would cycle through the contacts on my phone, Facetiming everyone in alphabetical order by last name until someone picked up. Harry was one of the only people who answered every single time. We ended up calling each other almost every day, sometimes to chat, or just to have someone there, in the background, while we went about our days. He was with his band, working on what would eventually become Harry’s House, and I spent many days listening to them work through different lyric and melody combinations while curled up in my childhood bedroom with my work laptop. He even interrupted a Zoom meeting I was in, once, excited to play part of “Music for a Sushi Restaurant” for me.

I was working remotely for a PR firm, after graduating college in 2020, my options were limited and, in the end, the place only gave me an offer because they worked with Columbia Records and knew my dad. I mostly wrote copy about movies to be put on Wikipedia or IMDB, which was super boring, so Harry seriously saved my life by letting me listen in on his studio sessions, or to the audio of whatever show he was watching and his commentary.

By the time he was able to start prepping for Love on Tour, I was working at the firm’s office building on Sunset, just about ready to quit my job and sell foot pics online.

“Come on tour with me,” he said, (seemingly) impulsively, during one of our Facetime sessions in which he patiently listened to me complain about how Mark from accounting wouldn’t stop coming over to my desk to “chat” every hour on the hour.

“What?” I answered, laughing a little.

“Seriously, Y/N, it’ll be just like old times! We can race on the dolleys they use to bring the speakers in, and I’ll even let you win this time.” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not really winning, then, is it?”

“Okay, fine, I won’t let you win. But I am serious, Y/N. You should join me on tour.”

“What am I supposed to do, just follow you around the world like some sad, desperate groupie?”

“I mean, you are a bit sad and desperate.” I flipped him off, to which he responded by cackling with laughter.

“I’m sad because my job sucks, and desperate to get away from Mark, not to get into your pants.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be my mistress, you’d be doing PR for the tour, obviously.” Harry’s cheeks flushed with the slightest hint of pink,

“Well, maybe you should have led with that!” I started laughing, too, and it took a while for either of us to be able to speak again.

“Okay, sorry, I’ll start over.” He took a deep breath to calm his giggles, but still couldn’t manage to keep a straight face. “Y/N Y/L/N, I would like to formally request that you join me as my PR Manager for Love on Tour. My publicist is about to give birth, like, any day now so she obviously can’t go gallivanting around the world. Really, you’d be doing me a favor, and who better than someone who already has my dressing room requests memorized since half of them are actually yours.”

“You still have the same dressing room requests?” I gave him a skeptical look.

“Old habits die hard.” He shrugged. “And even though I don’t drink Diet Coke, having it in the fridge makes it feel like you’re there with me.” The pink was now red and I bit my lip to keep myself from smiling too wide.

“Alright, Mr. Styles, you have a deal.”

Like he said, old habits die hard, so even though we were now adults and my dad wasn’t on tour with us, we still fell into our old routines. Back in the day, I was never allowed to be alone in a room with one of the boys, but we had our ways around it. Usually by walking through the hallways of the floor of the hotel everyone was staying on, checking in with the guards stationed at either side on every loop. So while we could have hung out in our rooms, more often than not, we walked through the hotel hallways in circles just like we used to.

The night before the Pittsburgh show, Harry showed up at my door at 10pm with a bag of sour gummy worms.

“It’s not Haribo, but it’s close enough,” he said with a shrug, flashing me his trademark “Harry Styles” grin. And just like that, we were off to wear a hole in the carpet, or so I thought. We hadn’t even made it through one full loop before he pulled me through a random door marked “Employees Only” and dragged me up three flights of stairs.

“Are you taking me somewhere private so you can murder me?” I asked as we trudged through the dirty stairwell.

“Something like that,” he answered. But when we reached the top, he opened another door and we were on the roof.

The view was gorgeous, the moon was bright and cast a cool glow on the Pittsburgh skyline. I turned to Harry with wide eyes.

“Scoped it out earlier,” he said with a sheepish smile on his lips. “Just thought we could use a change of scenery.”

“It’s perfect,” I said, reaching out to squeeze his hand in thanks. “As much as I love hotel hallways, this is better.”

We sat on the edge of the roof, dangling our legs over the top of the building next door, and passed the bag of gummy worms back and forth as we talked. We were out there for so long that my eyelids started to get heavy and our conversation slowed down. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me, huddling closer for warmth (or so I thought).

“Wanna listen to some music?” He asked. I nodded and he pulled his Airpods out, sticking one in my ear and the other in his own.

Story of My Life started playing and my heart rate sped up, pulsing adrenaline through my body. Suddenly, I was wide awake and hyper aware of every place our bodies were touching (thighs, hips, my shoulder to his chest, his shoulder to my head, his arm on my bicep).

I lifted my head up and turned to look at him.

“Do you ever get sick of this song?” I asked. My voice was quiet because I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to know the answer.

“No,” he replied. His voice was low and raspy and it made my stomach flutter. I felt myself leaning in, unconsciously, as he continued. “It reminds me of you, and I could never get sick of you.”

He brought his free hand up to my face and rubbed his thumb in soft circles on my cheekbone, and his eyes flickered down to my lips. The distance between us closed as if we were replaying something that had already happened in slow motion. Eventually, I could just barely feel the soft brush of his lips against mine. My mouth fell open just a bit in anticipation of what was to come, but Harry paused.

“It’s you, Y/N,” he whispered.”It’s always been you.”

Feel free to cross my name out and write in your own, I won’t be mad. I get it; what really happened was better than any self-insert fanfiction.

Chapter 17

I’m going to keep most of the details of our wedding private, but I will tell you about our first dance, because it ties into a lot of the other stories that I’ve written about. If you haven’t noticed by now, Story of My Life is sort of the underlying theme of this book, and that’s because it’s been the underlying theme of my life, the soundtrack to my relationship with Harry.

After dinner, and some absolutely mental toasts, Harry and I were eager to get the party started. Even though he’s not the best dancer, I have never met anyone who dances with as much joy as Harry does, and I love getting pulled into his wild, spontaneous routines. But our first dance was different. The fairy lights surrounding the garden were twinkling in the moonlight, and Niall, Liam, Louis, and Zayn stood on the sidelines to sing, you guessed it, Story of My Life. We swayed in circles, gently, without trying to put on a show or impress anyone else. It was a beautiful, full circle moment, and the boys even dragged out “between” just a little bit to tease us.

Life is funny. One minute, you’re sixteen and screaming “The fire beneath my feet is burning bright,” at your best friend and you think that this is it, you will be touring the world with your friends forever, and the next you’re twenty-seven and in a wedding dress, leaving mascara stains on the shoulder of his suit. But I wouldn’t change a thing, because I think it was written in the walls all along.

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goron-king-darunia · 7 months

Text

Eggtober 21st, 2023

"Strange Flower" or "Controversy" Overcooked Hard-boiled Egg with Mayonnaise

(Clip Studio Paint, Gouache Brush, Airbrush for Paprika and Pepper. 12 colors, about 30 minutes.) Woke up with this idea. Mayo is a controversial condiment and I 100% understand. I hate custard filling in things like donuts. It's goopy, a little salty, and it has that texture to it that screams to your brain that "this is uncooked and probably bad to eat." And I think mayo is like that for lots of people, but worse. Because it's salty and a little sour and that same "uncooked" texture all sends the same signal but more like "this is rotten and falling apart. It's not good to eat." But I like mayo. Maybe I just got introduced to it in a more postitive way than custard or creme pat. Maybe because most creme pat comes to me in a donut at room temp and mayo usually comes from a refrigerated jar. Maybe it's because both are a little salty and eggy and so mayo reads as "a good sensible condiment for burgers and sandwiches and slaw salads" while creme pat reads as an "aberration that could only be put in a donut by accident." But then I think humans just kind of don't like seeing fatty substances all in one big glob. Same way lard is a common cooking ingredient in many non-USA countries but people in the "northern" non-farming USA see lard and only think "byproduct" like bacon grease and feel a visceral disgust the way I feel about burger grease. I think a lot of things are like that in life. Some of it's genetic, like the way cilantro tastes like soap to some and like a tasty floral herb to others. Some of it is experience, like a taste aversion to plums after a bad summer. And some of it is social. How we're taught to be disgusted by "byproducts" because that's not the thing we're intending to make, or it only happens when the thing you're making turns out "wrong." Some of it is political. I'm sure you all have ideas. And I think, on the one hand, disgust is useful. We get sick if we eat expired foods. We can die if we eat the wrong berry or mushroom. Being wary of the new is safe. An on the other hand, unbridled disgust is the enemy of curiosity and growth and discovery. When we turn away from things that make us uncomfortable, we lose a chance to learn.

So on the one hand I think this piece is about my experiences becoming a more adventurous eater in my adulthood. I still don't like creme patissiere. But I'm not going to waste a donut because of it anymore. I don't like red bean paste. But at least I know what it tastes like now, and it's not just a blind discomfort around something new. I'll never get over how the texture of glutinous rice cakes remind me of chewing gum, a thing I've been taught to spit out. But I can understand why people like mochi.

And I think on another hand (many hands today) this piece is also about how @quezify plays with disgust and horror and beauty. And how that curiosity disgusts some people and enamors others. How it ties you in knots. How wound dressing and debridement are all at once an act of love and an act of mutilation. How there's beauty there in something so instinctively disgusting.

Dunno exactly. That's what the art's there for, I guess. To express what I can't quite put in words. I hope it's disgusting, and I hope it's beautiful.

I wonder if @lady-quen's breadbugs will have fun with this one?

Speed paint~

I don't know if my style can really render any gravitas to it, with how soft everything is, but I hope it speaks to someone.

#Eggtober 21 2023 #Eggtober 2023 #my art #art by GKD #speedpaint #Hard Boiled Eggs #Mayonnaise #mayo

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archduke42 · 30 days

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OK, I've had time to really reflect with this trailer

I still have some mixed feelings. Part of me hoped they would not bring Barriss back because maybe it was time to move on. After 11 years, I felt like I was just being suckered by red herrings. It's a little exhausting when opportunities happen and everyone speculates but it becomes a false alarm. Plus I used to be rather arrogant over the thought of Barriss being an Inquisitor. Used to irritate me a lot that fans even wanted that to happen. "How can anyone want this?" I used to ask myself. But I'm old fashioned, from a time when good guys were good, bad guys were bad, and Hero(ine) blows up the super weapon. All this character ambiguity people embraced for their Star Wars was a bit alien to me. It was enough that she was supposed to die in Order 66, but this was almost too much. The backlash against "The Wrong Jedi" was a tidal wave at the time, and lots of fans (myself included) cried hard at Filoni and Lucas' casual retcon.

But then, I'd been writing hero journey stories for Barriss since 2005 or 2006 and the whole villain plot twist was infuriating. And there was so much hate for Barriss on the internet at the time. I cursed Filoni's name with an old man's fiery blackened heart. My Muse had become the most hated character in Star Wars, and I had become a hot mess for several years after so much heavy emotional investment. I wanted to channel all my energy into Barriss stories (and eventually Barrissoka stories, since they were such a perfect couple) I also commissioned some shipping/wedding/marriage art to maybe push back against people's notions of a revenge fight between Ahsoka and Barriss. I have been blessed with discovering a huge Barriss Offee/Barrissoka fan community out here, and I think we have all built so positive energy in our love for these characters. Being a writer and reading the works of so many others has helped me grow with the community and learn so much. I am grateful to the art of people like @grissaecrim, and stories by people like @jedimasterbailey and @stellanslashgeode (and so many others) I can be excited that Barriss is officially coming back! The wait is over, and my anxiety returns. but I also have had a long period of time in 11 years to accept these new dynamics for Barriss. I am ready to accept whatever Destiny is in store for Barriss, though I suspect Filoni will be giving her a journey of sorts and not just leading these episodes towards a villain death for her. I suspect this journey may even go to live streaming with Ahsoka involved but time will tell. I still loath the concept of challenging expectations, but I realize that Star Wars characters have to grow out of two dimensional designs. Heroes don't need to be sparkling perfect and Villains can have a moral compass of sorts. I just wish Lucasfilm would stick to a consistent history with all this. I'm certain Filoni will have more retcons to drop on us. It's his style. But in fairness, the trailer was exciting, the animation looked really good. And I enjoyed seeing other minor characters involved, like 4th Sister, Grand Inquisitor, etc. I look forward to the exciting battles with Elsbeth and Grievous, etc. Most importantly with this trailer comes the enthusiasm to see Barriss return. Much of the hate is gone, and the Star Wars community in places like Youtube, Tumblr, etc is blowing up with excitement for this. The majority fans are ready for her adventure to continue with open minds. I think that gives me more joy than anything, that fans actually want to see her again, and want her to win at this in the best way possible even though she is starting from a dark place. I'm ready to see how this goes. This could be one of the best Star Wars experiences of 2024.

#barriss offee #star wars the clone wars #luminara unduli #star wars #mirialan #ahsoka tano #ahsoka and barriss #barrissoka #The old man sheds his curmudgeon soul

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audioroleplayconfessions · 6 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/audioroleplayconfessions/733894052580327424/i-cant-get-into-other-audio-roleplays-because-the

Answering the questions!

Thank you Admin! ♪⁠ ⁠\⁠(⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠\⁠ ⁠)

I like a heathly combination of fluff and plot though I don't mind either on their own. I prefer cinematic stories with more parts!

Slow burn is definitely a favorite of mine! I like all genres but I do have a preference for fantasy storylines.

I absolutely avoid the fan made y/n-esque audio rp with already existing characters i.e Midoriya, Todoroki, Bakugou, no hate to the ones who like or make those, props to the voice impressions. I find it amazing they could imitate the voices but they just aren't for me though. Original characters are much more my thing.

Otherwise I'm fine with regards to everything else!

So far I only like GBA, Redacted and Sundew. I prefer soft, gentle mid-ranged to deeper voices. I like deep voices but I don't think I'd like a voice as deep as the mariana trench lol. Higher pitched voices also aren't my thing and if it's too whispery then it won't do it for me as well.

I'm pretty picky ain't I? Apologies if this is inconvenient, I have no one to ask for recommendations and I'm particularly new to the community (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

Warmest regards, much love, numerous thanks and salutations,

Oh, I have some recommendations for you! My opinions are a bit biased here (I have a very strong preference for plot-heavy audios over fluff) but it looks like a lot of my favorites suit your tastes. I dislike fanfiction stuff too, especially MHA stuff and I also prefer gentle voice ranges that aren't too high or too low.

I'll give you a few recommendations.

#1: Escaped Audios! He's the very best VA at making you feel like you are living in a movie. All of his stories are heartfelt and exciting, most have slow-burn romances. Most of his characters have a gentle, mid-range voice that isn't too high or too deep (though he as a couple deeper voiced characters). I like his style of acting because he sounds very sincere and "real" when he talks. My two favorite playlists from him are Matador Gothic (his dramatic vampire slayer adventure) and The New Jersey Rats (a mafia-themed Romantic comedy).

I've followed him since Matador Gothic came out a little over a year ago but he's only recently started to gain hype after being super under-rated for a long time. If you like GBA's style of story telling you'll probably like him too. The only downside you might experience is that his stories usually don't leave a lot of room for fluff, so there are no cuddle audios or sleep aids etc on his channel. That said he's my current favorite, is incredibly creative and original, and he's amazing at supercharging my brain with serotonin.

#2: Obsidian Lantern. He has some of the most immersive sound production of any VA I've ever seen. Some of his earlier stuff is a little weird and clumsy but once he catches his footing he's great. His voice is very gentle and comforting to me, and he'll even speak a little Spanish sometimes.

His Gator Boys series is great and actually ties in with the lore of a few other VA's universes! I also really like his Merfolk series. He also plays around with common tropes while putting his own unique spin on them and I really like that too. He also makes all of his own art, and he not only draws thumbnails but actually makes illustrations of the scenes in his audios which is super cool. Overall really great, I think you'd like him.

#3. ZSaku VA. His playlists start out a little slow but over time his style evolved to be more cinematic. I really like his Vampire series (the Xanthus playlist) and his two interconnected crime series (The Elias and Issac playlists). They're good from the outset and just get better. Lately he's been making higher-stakes stories with more collabs and I love that. He's also collabed with a bunch of the other people I mentioned, which I love to see.

He has a nice balance between fluff and story-telling, and lots of his plots/characters connect to one another. If you like Redacted Audio you'll probably like ZSaku. The only downside is that he takes a long time in between episodes of each series, and works on multiple series at the same time, so if you really get into one playlist you might end up feeling a bit impatient.

#4: YuuriVoice. He's got a rotating cast of characters and he's one of my long-time comfort channels. He has ongoing plots throughout all of his series, but his stuff is mostly character-based. It's worth listening to everything and getting attached to his characters, as their development gets better and more complex over time.

He can do a pretty broad range of voices too, and they all feel unique and fresh. He has done some MHA/fanfic type audios before in the past but over time he transitioned to focusing on his own original characters and I love all of them.

#5: Shining Armor ASMR. I like him more as a comfort/fun/fluff channel. A great channel for listening to little bite sized audios with fun character concepts and lower stakes. I also like his voice and his accent, and it's fun seeing him do different voices within his accent. Definitely more on the fluff side but I think you'd appreciate him!

That's about it! There are more channels I like but based on your tastes I think you would like those channels. Also, honorable mention to Desmond ASMR. I love him but he's been on hiatus for like a year now!

Feel free to leave your own recommendations/cosigns/etc in the comments and reblogs.

Love, Ringmaster.

#audio roleplay #boyfriend asmr #redacted audio #yuurivoice #desmond asmr #zsakuva #escaped audios #good boy audios #asmr roleplay #recommendations #Shining Armor ASMR #Obsidian Lantern #ZSaku VA

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