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#ADHD at work
dailydivergent · 2 months
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Literally the only difference between someone thinking I'm lazy & unmotivated vs. someone thinking I'm highly ambitious & focused is if they understand ADHD or not.
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alwaystuesday · 1 month
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Love when you have a meeting that your brain sort of ends up waiting for, so it kills productivity beforehand, and then the person you’re meeting forgot to cancel and then just doesn’t show, and that just kills off the productivity even more as you fight the little edge of RSD that creeps in. Love when that person is your boss.
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Suceeding w Adult ADHD
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While reading the book, I marked various paragraphs of interest and made several notes in the margins. Where I'm quoting the author, I will put those comments in quotes. My comments will follow.
Page 18 .. "Every day, all of us encouter and engage in hundreds, if not thousands, of events, small and large. And, every day we have a choice as to how we are going to interpret each of those events. How we choose to think about these events impacts whether we feel positively or negatively toward ourselves and others."
This is a classic DSM mistake most therapists make about ADHD, that Dr. Barkley talks about in his video "30 things you need to know about ADHD", available on YouTube. The mistake, is that the author ignores how these events trigger an emotional response. The reason why the DSM doesn't like the emotional classification with ADHD is that you can't quantify an emotion .. Happy, Sad, Upset, Extatic .. But, you can quantify 3 specific types of emotional responses .. positive, neutral, and negative .. When therapists and authors ignore these 3 emotional responses to events, tasks, inner monologue, thoughts, and memories, they create extremely long winded explanations on why ADHDrs do things they do, and provide NT based tips and tricks - which are next to useless.
So, again positive, neutral, negative emotional responses to events .. (+), (o), and (-) .. respectively. ADHDrs emotional states swing per event. An external event can kick an ADHDr into a positive mood or negative mood. I will demonstrate this repeatedly as I discuss the various topics she brings up.
Page 20 .. "Thinking errors of ADHDrs". I'm not going to go into the errors here, but I'm going to use them as an example of to describe ADHD Negative Thought Storms. ADHDrs ignore the good things that occur to them, and focus on "things that are going wrong or are negative about a given situation rather than what is right or going well." The Negative (-) Thought Storm arises when a negative (-) event happens, and triggers negative thoughts, memories, and inner monologue. ADHDrs not trained to recognize this event, are also not trained how to exit it, by using 1 single positive (+) external event. Thus, the other 6 categories described on page 21 and 22 are must manifestations of a Negative (-) Thought Storm.
Page 23 .. "Now that you have gained some awareness and insight into your destructie thought patterns, it's important that you learn how to challenge or reframe them. Remember, positive thoughts leads to positive feelings, positive behavior, …" Again, the author neglects to show how a physical external event triggers the positive thoughts, feelings, inner monologue, and memories.
Page 50 .. Increasing your Motivation .. "Because we know the adult ADHD brain will seek out and work toward immediate rewards (and avoid immediate penalties), this idea should be used to help individuals power through less stimulating or emotionally challenging taks that will ultimately help them reach their goals."
Let me describe a better way to motivate an ADHDr. Every taks you have to do, is an event. Every time you think about it, it's an event. Does it cause a positive (+), neutral (o), or negative (-) emotional response. Another way you can figure this out is to draw an emoji (smiley face). Or, select one from your phones keyboard of emojis. Does the emoji represent a happy, sad, or neutral character. If it's a happy character, do the task. If it's a sad character, do the task later. it's that simple.
Now, how do you motivate someone to do a hard task that makes them emotionally sad or triggers negative (-) emotional response .. find ways to make the task generate positive (+) emotional responses. This may mean you need to reframe the task. Or, you need to invite someone over to help with the task. Or, maybe you need to do a bunch of smaller positive (+) tasks to get into a "Can Do!" attitude. These are just 3 ways to generative motivation, that actually work for ADHDrs.
Page 96 .. The author suggests creating a list of your daily routine with average times to complete each part of the routine. This is a good idea as long as it generates positive (+) emotional responses. I would extend this idea further to doing a specific task where people routinely ask you .. "So, how long will that take?" If you time how long it takes you to do something, you will be able to answer confidently, vs shrugging and trying to guesstimate your answer on sketchy knowledge of your past work habits.
In addition to using a tasks list, I would include a circle for an emoji per task. If you want to know how to you feel about doing a task, draw the emoji. Boogie boards or electronic note pads are great for this, because you can erase the emoji and redarw it, each time you see the task.
Page 100 .. do not break your day into 15 min or hourly segments, instead give yourself 10 to 15 spots for appointments on a sheet of paper for that particular day. The reason why, is ADHDrs with OCD will constantly fiddle with the calendar defeating the purpose of the calendar, which is to remind you of appointments. This will require you to build your own paper calendar, and I recommend using a 3 ring binder and self designed sheets that suite your purpose. (maybe some day I'll publish all of my templates.)
Again, in your calendar, only write down the appointments you have for that day, and any Todo's you need to get done. I also create a seperate sheet for all the Todo's that I have to do, so that if I have free time, or am board, or just want to remember something, it gets put there.
Page 111 .. Chapter 6 - Enhancing Social Relationships .. I have no notes on this chapter, but I'm going to say this in general .. What works for an ADHDr, works for NTs as well. If you like positive events, so do NTs. If you generate positive events for an NT, you will have a good relationship with an NT. The converse it true as well. If an NT is annoying you (negative event) you won't want to be around them anymore.
Page 122 .. Better Communication Skills .. here is my motto for speaking to people, "5 Words or Less!" Communicate what you want to say in 5 words or less. Or, be as brief as you can.
Something else that popped up while writing this is .. "You don't have to tell someone the whole truth!" What this means is that while there is a whole story to be told about a true event, you only need to tell the person what they need to know about that true event.
Page 135 .. Chapter 7 - Organize Your Space .. Let me just say .. out of site, out of mind. If you can use clear pastic containers to organize everything into, and elfa shelving to store it on. (This is an OCD Hack) And, use glass cupboard doors in your kitchen! Things can't hide that easily when you can see them.
The other thing i will say about this chapter is that ADHDrs have projects. So, keeping various projects in containers will help you remember what you were doing, and where you were in doing it. I have shelves with labeled 3 ring binders displaying all the projects I'm working on. As I have a thought or idea, I take a sheet of paper, write down the idea and put it in the binder. When the binder is full, it's time to write a book.
Note, this concept can also be applied to email and blogs. Do you find yourself finding wonderful articles that, if saved, would enhance something you're working on. Send it to yourself in an email and later store it in a folder, or post it to a blog. Not only does the blog save it, but others can see your progress and comment on it.
Page 157 .. Chapter 8 - Effective Study Skills .. The material is good here, there are a few things I would add, and an entire subject that I would like the author to research. The first thing that I would add is to use a 3 ring binder to write down topics. While ADHDrs lack skills to know how to capture class notes and study properly, creating their own book on the subject is actually a helpful way for them to capture what is important in the class and study. Each topic would be written like an article that focuses on a specific aspect of the instruction and how the ADHDr would have taught the it. This does a lot of simple things really fast .. but most importantly .. it helps the ADHD see where their gaps in understanding are. If they can't explain the topic, they need to fill that gap to continue building knowledge on the topic.
The area that I would like the author to research and expound on is math. Not just simple addition and subtraction that is taught in K12 schools, but higher math in colleges for engineers, mathematicians, statisticians, and physicists. You see, Math is not processed in the same place that language is. In fact, where most ADHDrs get lots is when trying to memorize relationships between variables (equations). They can't see the same relationship when written with different variables, because the language center of their brain has stored the equation as a picture. If you think that's odd, you're not alone. But, language is processed as a picture not as individual letters. Look at the various type fonts you have access to, each font creates a new picture of the word. (FYI .. psychologists have proven both concepts are true .. language as pictures, and math and language are processed in different parts of the brain.) In fact, math is a guessing game of .. "Am I right?" .. the more times you get the math answer right, the more confident you become in using it as the answer. Does 1 + 1 = 2? Is 2 - 1 = 1? What about - 2 + 1 = -1? Are all these equations saying the same thing?
Remember, ADHDrs have to externalize everything. And, we work best when we are generating positive events (+). So, listen to music that makes you happy, watch a movie that makes you happy, and keep your professor on speed dial, or someone else who knows the subject matter who can help when you get stuck. Nothing will suck your time away faster than a negative event (-).
Page 187 .. Chapter 9 - Job Satisfaction .. I skipped this chapter. But I will impart some wisdom I've found concerning this subject. I do keep a blog on "Working with ADHD" after all. So, as mentioned above concerning friendships .. positive events (+) make for better working relationships. Negative events (-) will make you hate the job. There is a difference bewteen management and leadership. Managers track metrics.. training, productivity, performance, and quality .. Leaders follow the definition of leadership .. Guiding Intent w/Integrity .. (Mind you there are 1000's of styles of leadership ask described by this definition, not all are positive). A good leader and manager will use Project Management 101 .. Manage Expectations .. and the 2nd law of Project Management .. Mind the Gap! .. (I spoke about this earlier in the chapter concerning education.)
A good community is one that supports each other. A bad community is one where people are decisive. (Aka, they create constant tormoil and back stabbing between department and team members.)
Overall, I think the book provides a lot of good information. I just wish it were re-organized from the perspective of how positive (+), neutral (o), and negative (-) events cause respective emotional responses that cause you to seek out or avoid things. I also wish more ADHD coaches and therapists helped ADHDrs to look at life from this perspective as well. For me, I have started curating a constant stream of positive events. When a negative event crops up, I can easily catch it and push it out. When I get depressed .. lost in an ADHDrs Negative Thought Storm .. It has been hard, because I keep trying positive events (+) until I finally get out.
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wheremynotesgo · 1 year
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Study tip to myself
Put on a 15 minute boss music as bgm when reviewing a topic, when the song is done so is your time to review. Now do a practice test about said topic and try to active recall as much as you can and imagine if you fail you'll have to do it all over again until you get it right.
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czhybrid · 11 months
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Me: and what's the name?
Ben Real: its Ben Real
Me: yeah it has, have a great day!
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flannelepicurean · 1 year
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Shout-out to Adderall, Gerard Way, and some leftover biscuits (American stylez) for giving me the strength to power through making this PowerPoint in a dedicated and timely fashion, so that I can reap the reward of a well-earned break, to eat a li'l snack and listen to some dudes sing about being devastatingly sad while I think about the many scenarios in which my blorbos would make out.
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ollieandadhd · 2 years
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Adhd at work
When you are an overachiever, over talker and over thinker it is hard to carry out a job.
At the beginning, It is easy for me to be who my employer wants me to be. If not a mirror image of them. Our values match, I'm at work early, and I have high expectations of myself. It is easy for me to have rose color glasses on and look at this new job like it is the best thing to have happened to me. I enjoy going to work, I enjoy selling, babysitting, teaching, cooking, whatever the job is I LOVE IT and omg I am so good at it, the best even.
And then, I slow down, the high is gone but the expectations are still there, Why am I not meeting my goals? why do I not look as presentable? why is it harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning.
With the research that I have done adults with high functioning ADHD/ADD don't "normally' go into the typical jobs. Teacher, Doctors, nurses. There can be to much social pressure and (the study)
For someone who has no organization skills I sure have a lot of dairy's and journals. Plenty of dates, and color coded sticky notes. Do I know what any of it means? No, probably not. Will I keep buying them, Yes.
I do well with people and have always had a fixation for technology. So finding a balance is where it comes to.
Working with ADHD is not impossible, your family and friends, and loved ones just have to come to the conclusion that you might change your job more than three times in a year.
:) Liv x
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eridan-ampora · 8 months
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i love it when characters are codependent. i love it when losing someone feels like losing a limb. i love it when two people "complete" each other so wholly and terribly that one can barely function without the other. i love it when the fear of losing the only person who understands them is so all-consuming they'll destroy anything to stay together, including themselves.
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failbaby · 1 year
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Rolled up the living room rug to clean my apartment/make dinner on roller skates because I suddenly remembered that I’m an adult with free will…..Life is beautiful
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dailydivergent · 3 months
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There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.
This is because everything in my life requires work:
maintaining friendships
keeping up with my hygiene
managing bills
making money
remembering my basic needs
sleeping regularly
outputting creatively
All requires some aspect of work for me.
And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.
If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.
If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.
You're not dysfunctional.
You're not incapable.
You're doing your best.
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angermgnt · 2 months
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Anger
Anger, in ADHDrs, arises from a negative event. The event causes our brains to run through a 10,000 node decision tree and tell us that either something is doesn't meet our expectations or something is not fair.
We respond in 5 different ways:
Flight
Fight
Observe & Investigate
Cry
Depression
Provided here is a brief discussion of the concepts listed above and how they affect you. Hopefully, this starts a larger and expanded conversation about how to resolve anger faster.
Expectations
What did you want instead of what you got?
Expectations are a rich ground for which anger or happiness can sprout from. You should never give up on what you expect to happen, it may just be that the way you are going about it won't get you what you want. Therefore, project management is always the best course when managing expectations.
While getting what you want is the end result, how you get there affords many different paths. Some slower than others, so legal, some easy, some hard. But, there are many paths to the goal. No one path is right or wrong, unless you are stepping on someone elses rights.
The first rule in Project Management is .. Manage Expectations .. That means that you and anyone involved in this project needs to communicate what their expectations are, and hammer out how they are all going to be met. Or, if they can even be met. This resolves a lot of anger issues right off the bat.
Fair
Fair is not equal. Fair is not equity. Fair is what works for you to allow you to do the same things that others can do. For example, if you are in a wheel chair, then having a ramp to enter a building that has stairs is fair. There are other examples of fair for executive function, emotional dysregulation, and stimming. Just to name a few other problem areas, but these are internal vs external disabilities. And, it is much easier for the general audience to understand fair based on an external disability.
If someone else is allowed to play baseball in a park, and you are able to play baseball, then why can't you play baseball in the same park? The same goes for any other activity. Voting for example. But, what some people consider equality is that you have your park to play baseball in, and we have ours, and the two shall not cross. Like good and bad neighborhoods. You stay in yours and I'll stay in mine. (I think this is called Segregation.)
Fair happens when everyone has an equal shot at the same spot based on a lot of mitigating factors. It may not seem like it's equal when you don't make the cut, but at the same time, others who where kept out due to mitigating factors who also show promise are let in, get a chance to improve their entire community. This is the impetus of Affirmative Action, and H1B visas, or partnering with overseas corporations to produce American Consumer Products.
Flight
When something doesn't go the way we expect it to or doesn't seem fair, the first response to most situations for NeuroTypcials is to flee the scene and recover. This is a normal and expected response.
You see an angry tiger swatting at people and suddenly you realize that it's coming your way. What are you going to do? Are you trained to wrassle with anger tigers? Because, if not, then you're probably going to run and find shelter until the angry tiger moves on and then come out get to a safer spot.
Fight
ADHDrs come with a built in Challenge Accepted circuit, so most of the times we will engage in a fight for our rights and what's fair. This could be a physical fight or a legal battle or a battle of wills. But, it's that challenge circuit that gets many of us hauled in front of a judge to explain our actions.
Observe and Investigate
Some people when they get angry, use the energy to fuel their curiosity and investigate the reasons why their expectations are not being met. This may result in further actions being taken to resolve the disparities between their expectations and reality. This could be in the form of a letter writing campaign, telling a story, filing a law suite, or taking matters into your own hands.
As always, be careful when being a vigilante. You will find with most Republicans won't be interested in your plight until they have experienced the same trap you fell into and let them complain about their situation to other republicans for sympathy.
The idea here is to repurpose that challenge circuit into an .. I'm going to show you who's right and wrong in this situation .. mode and build a case that enumerates why your expectations are correct in how something should be handled, and how the other guy's expectations / response was not or inappropriate.
Cry
Crying is the physical expression of feeling helpless in a situation while you try to think of a way out of your situation. There is a difference between crying to alleviate emotional stress and using crying to guilt someone into doing something for you.
ADHDrs can handle kaos. ADHDrs can't handle stress.
When the stress becomes too much for our brains / bodies to handle we start to cry. There is nothing wrong with this. Have the cry, let your system reset and begin to move on. It's ok to let others see you cry as well. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Crying becomes a problem when it's used to manipulate others to get what you want by guilt tripping them into changing their mind. Most of the time, all it does is annoy others who are trying to help you.
Depression
ADHD depress is not like NeuroTypical depression. ADHD depression is caused by a singular negative event that causes a chain reaction or cascade reaction in our brains. A thought storm is created when our brains start looping through all the negative events from our past, the inner monologue becomes negative, and all our thoughts about our self become negative.
While Depression and Anger are part of the 5 Stages of Grief.
Denial
Isolation
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
AHDrs need to reframe the original negative event in order to get out of the depressive state. Or, we need so many happy events that no negative thought has room to create a new negative emotional response and kickstart the whole process over again.
There is nothing wrong with being angry and depressed about a situation that hasn't gone the way you expected or needed it to. Whole drama series are written based on this concept. People make decisions hoping for the best outcome, but instead get the worst outcome and have to work their way out of it. It makes for great theater and entertainment. It's not so good when it's real life.
You were hoping to get into the college of your dreams and it didn't happen. Or, you lost someone special to you, even before you hand a chance to say good by or understood what it meant that you would never see them again.
Sometimes it takes time to process the emotional attachments you had to an expectation.
Resolving Anger
There is a better way. And, either you will find it, or your ADHD associative brain will find it for you.
Remember to take into account all the possibilities of a situation where the answer could be NO! The NO! may be to the specific path you are taking. So, remember there are other paths. They may be longer, harder, and cost more, but they do exist.
Remember that ADHDrs have event driven emotions. One negative event can cause us to spiral into a negative thought storm where our thoughts, inner monologue and memories constantly dredge up all the nasty shit that has failed in our lives. There are two ways out of this .. reframe the original event, or curate so many positive events it leaves no room for the negative events to continue.
Remember to remind yourself that you are no longer in the situation that made you angry the first time. The anger will be triggered over and over again, by similar issues. That current issues, is not the previous issue. Don't let it suck you back into the old issue. Remind yourself that you're not there.
If you don't find a way to resolve your anger, and it's getting in the way of your brains ability to function, your Associate Brain will wrap up all the memories, tie them into a bow, and seal them off from you. It will be as if the entire experience never happened. This is what happens to children who have experienced very traumatic incidents in their lives.
Conclusion
As I wrote this piece I thought of many different ways that ADHDrs could become angry. Suffice it to say, this piece focused on having the expectation of not getting financial aid or some other subsidy vs loosing a loved one, or the many other issues that could cause anger to arise. Each has it's own unique flavor on how is should be handled. But, in looking at these other situations, I the general principle on dealing with anger still holds true. Manage your expectations, have back up plans in place, reframe the issues causing anger, and remind yourself that it won't matter in time.
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Finding a Psychiatrist who will Manage your ADHD
This was a response to the question. I'm reposting here to help people and myself gather questions that we could ask Psychiatrist about their practice before we walk in the door.
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Call and ask questions ahead of time.
“Do your psychiatrists treat ADHD with *these* co-occurring issues?
What is your policy on controlled substances?”
And when you go, as long as you ask all the questions, do your research and advocate for yourself.
Frame what you want in a way that it’s clear, beneficial, and be nice. However, if they’re rude - leave.
Always ask questions!!! Lots of them. It takes lots of calling and asking questions.
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alwaystuesday · 3 months
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ADHD is such a mindfuck for trying to self assess work performance. I just spent two hours failing to engage with any particular task in a productive way, but then wrote an email in 15 minutes during a meeting that someone else might have spent 2 hours drafting. So… evens I guess?
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czhybrid · 16 days
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Me:
Me: no
Me: don't you fricken dare
Brain: reverse Medusa
Me: nOOOOOOOO
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wrtrgrl-spacewitch · 4 months
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I feel like getting bored at work is like the worst thing that can happen with my ADHD, because I'm not busy, and all the tasks I could do are boring, and once I hit that peak boredom phase even if I get stuff to do it is so hard to drag myself out and actually be productive because it's like all the dopamine in my brain just went bye bye and now nothing is working and all the staff have left and it's just spinning chairs and blinking lights and I just wanna go home and watch tv please and thank you goodbye
But instead I have two hours of my work day left and I somehow have to claw myself out of the boredom hole I'm stuck in and get some work done
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kowabungadoodles · 9 months
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There's an adhd hack which I wanna describe but it's going to sound sort of fake and sort of like I'm saying "just do the thing" which I'm not.
Basically it can be impossible to start doing the thing, but once you've started it, it's actually fine right? It's just FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to start it, especially because you don't want to do it.
So I've got this way where I start it "without meaning to" a bit like if you were standing on the edge of the cliff and unable to make yourself jump off but... but you can jerk your body violently-- then you're falling and you don't really get a say in the matter any more.
A good example of this is not wanting to make a call. So you'd sit there and plan what you want to rehearse and hit the button when you're ready... or not, because actually you'd put the phone down and run off to do literally anything else.
So instead, I just hit call really fast, with no actual intention to make the call. Oh shit I really don't want to but now it's ringing and oh shit someone picked up and now we're already rolling and it'd be worse to hang up than to just talk--
I do the same thing with timers and work tasks where I've trained my brain to only be 'winning' the 'game' when the 15m timer is running so now if I hit the timer I'm like 'oh shit work started and I'm LOSING' and I'll jump up to do exactly 15 minutes of work... Only now I've already started and I might as well keep going, right?
Turning tasks into "reactions" not "actions"-- And reacting is way easier.
It's kind of setting the "poor impulse control" part of ADHD against the "Procrastination" part and making them fight.
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