#ABEL YOU MORON I--
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Blood of the Hero Ch 14 (Link's Parents Play BotW)
Summary: The Soul of the Hero will always be there to save Hyrule. But when Calamity Ganon is nearly victorious in killing him, it's those that bear the Blood of the Hero who will prevail. Ten years after the Great Calamity, the Shrine of Resurrection is damaged and Link's parents fight to save their son and Hyrule along with him.
(AO3 link)
Ch 14: Fallen Knight - Carnage
Abel hadn’t slept. The night crawled agonizingly along, leaving the former knight tossing and turning. Tilieth rested peacefully in the grass beside him, the tattered, half rotted wooden stall protected them from the mild drizzle. He stared between wood planks, eyes tracing the etches of jagged edges, noticing scorch marks from when the place burned.
When it was destroyed. In the Calamity.
It was stupid, really, how much it was sinking in lately. It wasn’t like Abel hadn’t been a firsthand witness to it. But lately… everything seemed to be wrong, and it drilled into his head. Perhaps it was the thought of separating from Tilieth, the idea that once they reached the Gerudo Desert he would continue on without his family in search of solutions. The anxiety and dread of it made him sick to his stomach.
You had promised, all those years ago, to protect your family. You swore in your knighting that you would protect Hyrule.
Yet here he was, lying in dirt, shivering in the chilly night, protected by the bones of what used to be one of the most vibrant stables in the country. Here he was, with his wife starving and shivering beside him, broken and terrified and alone. Here he was, his daughter dead, his son near to it, the latter’s state being entirely his fault.
He’d separated from the boy. He’d told him to take the princess to Fort Hateno. He’d promised to be there.
He’d been unable to protect the king. Link was the only one who managed to keep the princess safe when Abel was unable to do so.
His daughter was dead.
Abel’s entire life was flashing before his eyes. His mother died of grief over the loss of his father (why wasn’t I good enough? Why weren’t my sisters and I good enough for her to stay?). His younger sister never listened to him, had said he wasn’t their father, had accused him of pretending to know more than he did (she was right). His twin sister had settled in Castle Town, had been there when it had burned (I never even looked for a body, did I? Goddess, I didn’t even look for a body—) He had been given the highest honor by becoming a knight in the royal guard, had served as the captain, a trusted protector of the king and yet he’d been unable to do his duty (the ceiling had collapsed, I tried to protect him, I tried!). He’d sworn to take care of his family, to be there as a father, and—
Abel sat up, filled with energy, chest aching, blood racing. He stood, walking to the river, wanting to run, to fight something, to scream.
He stared up at the sky, breaths rapid and shallow, and asked, Farore, why did you make me? Why did you make me??
What was he even here for, if not to repeatedly screw everything up?! Even when Link had been given a fighting chance, Abel’s stupidity had ruined it - if it hadn’t been for him disturbing that hinox, this wouldn’t even be an issue! Link would still be safe in the Shrine of Resurrection, and—
Why did you make me?! What was the purpose?! I do nothing but cause problems, I can’t get it right, I can never get it right!
It was sacrilegious to even contemplate what thought came next, but Abel already knew he was a worthless, faithless fool anyway.
You made a mistake when you made me.
The drizzle continued to fall, slowly soaking him to his core. It was a splash of reality as he shivered and fell to his knees, a cold consolation in an empty world.
Wallowing in self pity won’t help them, he reminded himself. Slowly, he dragged himself back to the stall, trying to push the intrusive thoughts out, trying to ignore the berating. He was so damn tired.
The next day brought a heavy rainfall, and though the couple would have preferred to wait it out, anxieties drove them both forward. They didn’t dare bathe in the river – it was far too close to Central Hyrule for either of their liking. Instead, they barely ate breakfast, woke Link to drink some broth, and hastily made their way back to Kakariko.
As they passed through the half-barren marsh, the tower for Lanayru teased them with its proximity. Tilieth glanced at Abel with a shrug. “It’s practically on the way. We might as well activate it; maybe it could give us some helpful information.”
Abel doubted that was the case, but he didn’t argue; he himself had suggested going to the tower as a distraction yesterday. The pair cantered across the marsh, signs of life catching Abel’s eye as they went along. The marsh was slowly coming back, the rain bringing life as puddles formed amidst the mud and debris. Pieces of guardians were slowly washed away, and much more had probably already been removed over the last decade. He tried to take comfort in that.
When the pair reached the beach, Abel saw that the tower was on the other side, which was mildly problematic. This was becoming more involved than he wished it to be, but they were too far invested in it to turn back now.
Tilieth offered to cross, but Abel didn’t trust that the other side would be safe. He’d already surveyed the beach they were on and didn’t see any threats, so he asked her to stay behind instead, taking the slate and utilizing its runes to get across with little effort on his part. Meanwhile, Tilieth bathed herself and Link.
Abel hadn’t expected to find a person on the other side of the beach.
They both stood there in the sand for a moment, frozen in time. Abel felt his body stiffen, electricity firing through his muscles. The Hylian looked equally on edge, skin and bones, dark circles under his eyes, clothes ill fitting and half rotted off him. He jerked his body, reaching for something in an instant.
Abel grabbed his bow and arrow and shot true.
The Hylian grunted as the arrow sank into his chest, his sword that had been half drawn collapsing into the sand beside him. Abel remained motionless for a moment, his mind catching up to what his body had just done. The Hylian let out a gurgling breath and then grew still.
Abel released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and slowly lowered his arms.
The world was silent, save for water lapping on the shore. Abel couldn’t hear it. He couldn’t hear anything.
Swallowing, the former knight hesitantly walked towards the fallen Hylian. When he saw lifeless eyes staring off at nothing, he finally put his bow away.
The world came crashing back down on him an instant.
You just killed a man.
Well, he was clearly going to attack first!
You’re a knight. Your job is to defend the people of Hyrule. And you just killed one.
This wasn’t the first time he’d killed someone. It was ridiculous to let it bother him. Besides, he wasn’t a knight anymore.
At least check him for supplies.
Abel recoiled at the thought. He wasn’t going to defile the dead like that. He refused.
Taking a shaky step away, he started to head towards the Sheikah tower as if nothing had happened.
A gasp sounded, and Abel whirled, reaching for his bow and arrows yet again. He readied himself, but caught sight of a woman, a young Zora female who was watching him in horror.
“P-please!” She hastily said as she raised her hands. “I’m not even a warrior, I don’t mean any harm! I—I just came down here to find some fish, I—I promise I’m n-not a threat!”
Abel took in the sight of the Zora, memories flooding his mind of his time he’d spent in the Domain with Link. He recalled their princess, and his chest ached at the loss. The girl had been sweet and a strong warrior. She had also been the best healer in the kingdom.
Nevertheless, he didn’t lower his bow.
“P-please,” the Zora begged, beginning to cry. “I—you c-can even have my catch of the m-morning. I b-bet you’re hungry, right? You look it. Just—just please don’t hurt me.”
Abel’s gaze flicked across the river. He could vaguely see Tilieth and Link from here. If the Zora turned around and caught sight of them…
Abel. Stop. She even said she wasn’t a fighter.
Abel took another shaky breath, the adrenaline still fresh from his previous kill, paranoia heightened by the threat, blood rushing through his ears, deafening him to the rest of the world, silencing the woman’s whimpers. What difference did that make? The world had ended. Everyone was a fighter now.
“I-I’m—I’m just g-gonna put the fish down now, okay?” The Zora said shakily, hiccuping through her words, hands still held in the air. She carefully moved to reach for a net she’d been carrying, easing it to the ground.
Abel took a threatening step closer, arrow still fixed on her head, but he didn’t release it. The Zora practically scampered into the water, hands held high again as she told him over and over she wasn’t a threat, that she wasn’t going to hurt him. When she was half submerged into the water, he narrowed his eyes, motioning upstream with his head. The woman caught his meaning and quickly fled.
As he lowered his bow, Abel grew dizzy. He stumbled forward, picking up the net of fish, and slung it over his shoulder. The balance and the way the world spun made him nearly collapse into the sand, his stomach churning. He blinked once, twice, thrice to clear his head, shaking it so he could actually hear the world again, but it was still just his heart pounding.
A chirp caught his attention next, nearly making him draw his sword, when he realized it was the slate.
A shrine was nearby?
Focusing, Abel shook his head one last time, following the slate’s guidance until he neared the entrance to the Zora trail that led to the Domain. It was blocked by fallen rocks, a piece of half decayed guardian machinery squashed underneath. The shrine was just off to the left, uphill a ways.
How could he possibly bring Link over here after what had just happened? He needed to get back, to check on Tilieth! He’d just wandered off, they were out of sight now!
But the tower was right there too. He could see everything from the tower, including threats.
The area was clearly too dangerous, though. But he’d ensured there were no monsters on the other side before leaving his family.
But the threats over here hadn’t been monsters. What if there were Zora near his family?
Abel took another shaky breath, rushing back to the beach. He could still see Tilieth, who waved cheerily at him, clearly having completely missed everything that had transpired. She looked to be dressed now, sitting on the shore with Link.
Abel heard the water lapping. He heard the flapping of bird wings, the trickle as the rain settled into a lazy sprinkling. The world came back, and he tried to take a full breath.
The tower. Just get to the tower.
Thankfully it wasn’t hard to actually reach the tower. He had to rush across the bridge and scale the cliffside, but there were very few monsters around. He picked off a few lizalfos, a moblin, and a handful of bokoblins before reaching the top.
From the top of the tower, once activated, Abel could see a good portion of the region. Zora’s Domain was just beyond his range of vision, hidden in sparkling mountains laden with luminous stones. He remembered the festivals, the nights where those cliffs would practically glow. He remembered the giggles of children as Link played with his friends.
Looking away, Abel pushed at his pant legs, which had ridden up a little since they’d shortened in length from fraying over the years, and tucked them back into his boots. He squinted at the river, catching sight of Tilieth and Link, who were still relaxing on the beach. He couldn’t see any other shrines aside from the one he’d found. He wasn’t sure if that should make him feel better or worse.
Sighing, Abel grabbed the paraglider, took a deep breath, and jumped. He wondered, for the instant before his feet left the tower, if he was beginning to overcome his fear of heights. As soon as the sensation of weightlessness hit, as soon as he was in the air, he felt the bottom drop out of his stomach as an unpleasant reminder that was not, in fact, the case. The adrenaline still lingering in his system, paired with the vertigo he felt at gliding through the air this high up, nearly made him let go of the paraglider entirely. Abel squeezed his eyes closed for a moment, and then shifted his weight, tilting the glider to aim for the beach across the water. Dully, he grumbled internally that he hadn’t always been this afraid of heights, and that it was a terrible time for it to manifest so badly.
Despite not wanting to look down, Abel managed to make it across the river, but his knees gave out the instant his feet touched the sand, and he face planted. He heard Tilieth call out to him and rush over, and he slowly pushed himself up, spitting out sand.
“Are you okay?” his wife asked, dropping down beside him.
Abel swallowed, not entirely capable of speaking, and nodded with a grunt. He sat on his legs for a moment, catching his breath, and then managed to say hoarsely, “There’s a shrine over there.”
“Oh! Really? Let me see.” Tilieth reached forward, taking the slate off Abel’s hip and glancing at it. The new information provided by the tower allowed her to survey the area, and she quickly found the shrine that was marked on it. “Oh, that’s not far at all! We can cross right here—”
“No,” Abel interrupted, remembering the body. He probably should have done something with it. Buried it? He should bury it, right? Show respect for the dead?
They didn’t have time for that.
“We’ll cross further upstream,” he finally muttered.
“Upstream…” Tilieth repeated as she peered at the map before gasping. “We’re close to the Zora!”
Abel spat out some more sand, rubbing his face. “Yes. And?”
“Sheik had said something about the Zora being hostile,” Tilieth said uncertainly, lowering the slate. “Why, though? They were allies to Hyrule. And… after all the effort you and that delegation put in…and the… the princess…”
Hostile? That woman he’d encountered hadn’t been. But what if she’d told her people, and they were coming here now?
After all the effort you and that delegation put in…
Abel bit back the bitterness of yet another failure, the pain and loss of the sweet princess who had been such dear friends with his son.
The point was that apparently the Zora were enemies now.
“We need to move quickly,” he surmised, finally standing and heading towards Link. “Start working on the pillars, please.”
Tilieth nodded, walking towards the water. The family made their way across as quickly as was feasible before Abel directed them towards the shrine.
However, once they entered, they did not receive the usual greeting.
“In the name of the Goddess Hylia, I offer this combat trial.”
“A combat trial?” Tilieth repeated worriedly.
Abel smiled, remembering the tutorial trial in Kakariko. Honestly, he was a little eager to get some energy out. He carefully lowered Link to the ground and headed into the large room. He figured he would test out the guardian weapon he’d taken from the last combat trial, alongside the Sheikah shield.
The tiny guardian was surprisingly easy to defeat. It telegraphed its moves so easily it was almost laughable. Abel was again, bitterly, reminded that these things had be designed to aid the people of Hyrule and its Hero. This little machine was here to train Link.
Instead, his boy was covered in wounds from its larger counterparts, near comatose and helpless.
Abel shook his head, finishing off the little guardian and trying to focus. He’d been far too morose lately. He had a mission to complete.
Goddess, he’d kill for some sleep, though.
The expression hitched in his mind, and he shook his head again. He turned and waved to Tilieth, signaling the all clear, before belatedly remembering he should go back to carry Link. Til, however, tried to carry the boy herself, dragging her feet into the arena while huffing and puffing a little.
Abel took pity on his wife, heart warmed at her attempt, and walked over to her. “Let me carry him, love.”
“No, I’ve got this,” Tilieth argued through a strained voice. “I have to be able to do this.”
I have to be able to do this if you’re going to leave me, was the unspoken sentiment. Abel felt his stomach crawl. He followed his wife silently, worries eating him alive. The couple retrieved a knight’s bow (how long had this been down here? Why was it designed similarly to their bows from ten years ago? Wasn’t this shrine ancient? Who else had accessed it, anyway? Why were there so many modern trinkets hidden down here?) and Link received the spirit orb, and they were transported outside.
Naturally, it was pouring. Abel shivered and quickly took Link in his arms to give Tilieth a break. He noticed the boy had little braids in his hair now, along the sides, before it was pulled back into the usual ponytail he wore. He supposed Tilieth had been enjoying herself on the beach. Link scrunched his face against the rain, clearly uncomfortable with the cold, and Abel looked around quickly to ascertain if it was wise to use the shrine for shelter until the rain let up.
Tilieth took the opportunity to look at the map. “I guess the best way to get to the desert would be going back through Kakariko? We could get one last respite in before the journey begins.”
Technically, the best path would be taking the road to the Riverside Stable, but that required going into Central Hyrule, which was out of the question. Not to mention the bridge leading there from the Wetlands Stable was destroyed, anyway.
No, Tilieth was right. The surest path was back through Kakariko.
“Let’s go,” he said quietly, carefully sliding down slick stone with Link in his arms. He didn’t want to linger.
When they reached the water, Tilieth hastened forward, grabbing Abel by the arm and shushing him. Abel looked at her, alarmed, wondering what she’d seen, watching as she crept forward. When he followed her line of sight, though, he saw some ducks waddling ahead on the shore.
“Really?” he whispered. “Right now? We’re about to go back into town, we don’t need to hunt.”
“Oh, I’m not hunting them, I just want to watch them,” Tilieth said lightly, a sweet smile pulling at her lips.
Abel bit back an exasperated reply. He’d already snapped at her yesterday. He wasn’t going to do it again. But they needed to move. He kept his mouth shut, watching his wife creep forward before talking briefly to the ducks, who quacked in response, eliciting giggles from Til. He tried to enjoy watching it. He really did.
“Til,” he finally said, unable to bear it any longer. “Link’s going to get cold.”
This snapped her out of her distraction, and Tilieth apologized worriedly as she started to create ice pillars. Abel let her place the harness on him before he positioned Link and strapped him in. The couple slid across the river, occasionally nearly toppling over with as slippery as it was, but they managed to make it to the beach and their horses. Abel thought they were finally in the clear when something else seemed to catch Tilieth’s eye (after she’d already snagged some dragonflies), and she pulled Epona in circles. Abel let Ama slow to a halt, watching his wife aimlessly ride in a dizzying pattern. At least the rain had stopped, but…
“What are you doing?” he asked, bewildered.
“There’s—there’s this—oh, I almost had it!” Tilieth huffed, pushing Epona to move faster and reaching down until she was halfway off the saddle. His wife was a good rider, so he wasn’t particularly concerned, but her behavior still made no sense. Link sneezed, distracting Abel, who tried to remember if they’d fed the boy or not (they did, right? They had to, right?), and he jostled the teenager and coaxed him to drink some broth while Tilieth still rode in a circle.
“Til—”
“I know, I’ll be quick!”
“Til, this is ridiculous, what are you even doing?”
“There’s a light!”
“There’s literally nothing.”
Til huffed, jumping off Epona entirely, making Abel tense up, and she pounced on something. “Got you!”
Abel stared as his wife, breathless, laughed giddily and reached out her hand and said thank you and then rose, looking triumphant.
Scrunching his nose, he surmised, “This is another one of those koroks, isn’t it?”
Tilieth nodded, cheeks flushed with cheer. Abel had to smile at her in reply, even though he felt that familiar helplessness. Not that he cared about collecting seeds, but it seemed in this avenue he was fairly useless. What if these magical creatures could help them somehow, and he was making himself a liability by not being able to see them? Why could Tilieth see them?
Sighing, Abel nudged Ama with his legs. “All finished?”
“Yes,” Tilieth said, satisfied, as she climbed back into Epona’s saddle. “Let’s get to the village. We should be able to get there by midafternoon, right?”
“Correct.”
At least, that would have been the plan, except Tilieth wanted to pick some herbs, and the slate started chirping that another shrine was nearby, leading them to a little sandbar with a shrine innocently sitting at its center. Abel stared, bemused, wondering if they’d somehow missed this one, as they had to have passed it, right?
No matter. Another shrine was another shrine. At least this one was close to the village.
“Ah, the soil is so fertile here,” Tilieth noted, and Abel had to agree as he nearly sank ankle deep into the earth. A few chus led to enough damage to the guardian blade that the ancient relic shattered, and Abel irritably switched weapons, grumbling about faulty Sheikah tech as he did so.
The shrine was fairly straightforward, leaping across driftwood to make it to the other side. The final part involved destroying bomb barrels at the right time to eliminate a wall (Abel did have to wonder at the efficacy of such a thing as the bombs were floating in the water, but he supposed they would find out). Tilieth found great pleasure in retrieving every treasure chest she could find, though, according to her, none could beat the one that contained the headband Abel wore.
“It’s too bad there aren’t more clothes,” she commented as Abel aimed at the barrels with a fire arrow. “Or at least materials to make some. Your clothes are a little tattered.”
Abel paused, glancing down at his attire. He wore what his wife had managed to patch together from fabric and clothes they’d found on the plateau, fashioning a warm doublet. The trousers he wore used to nearly fit him perfectly, but time and use had made them threadbare, riding up to nearly midway up his calf. His wife, on the other hand, wore an oversized green tunic that was practically a dress that went to her knees with a white undershirt, and the trousers she wore were made from the tattered remains of her dress she’d been wearing the day of the Calamity. Honestly, they both could use some new clothes, Abel supposed. He was at least grateful Tilieth had made some for Link. The boy was warmer and more protected in the Hylian tunic she’d fashioned. If only they could get the boy some shoes…
Tilieth built ice columns for them to stand on so Abel could aim better, but after three tries of missing lifting the barrels out of the water at the right time, his wife was clearly growing frustrated.
“Here,” Abel suggested gently, holding out his hand. “You’re a decent shot. I’ll make the column, you fire the arrow.”
Tilieth bit her lip uncertainly and then nodded. When Abel successfully timed the ice column, leaving the bomb barrel innocently waiting at its peak, Tilieth fired true with a fire arrow.
Link flinched at the ensuing explosion, sniffling, blinking his eyes open, but he settled back to sleep quickly.
“How did you get it?” Tilieth asked, obviously a little annoyed.
Abel smiled. “Because I’m more patient than you.”
His wife rolled her eyes exasperatedly, and the pair acquired the spirit orb. As they exited, Abel saw a familiar sight – the Riverside Stable, its framework splintering up towards the sky. That was definitely the stable he’d seen on their way to the Dueling Peaks. They’d… gotten a little off track with this other shrine.
“Which way back to Kakariko?” Tilieth questioned a little confusedly before gasping. “Abel, there’s another shrine over there!”
Abel glanced up at the sky. The sun was still high. They had time. “Let’s go.”
Surprisingly, Eagus Bridge was somehow still intact, though most of the protective siding was gone. But Abel realized something, almost too late, horribly, and he immediately blocked Tilieth’s path as they neared the next bridge.
“What?” Tilieth asked.
“This leads to Central Hyrule. The Riverside Stable is in Central Hyrule.” Abel emphasized. “We’re not going there.”
Tilieth looked torn, but also very clearly petrified.
Abel motioned with his head. “We need to get to the village.”
He was not risking his family for this. He would come later, without them, to ensure it was safe. Not that he was going to tell Tilieth that.
The smell of smoke scorched his nostrils, burned his lungs—
Abel shook his head, ridding himself of the memory, the sensation. He guided Epona and Ama ahead, holding Link more tightly.
The couple moved in silence, interrupted only by the rhythmic clomping of their steeds’ hooves. Thankfully it was an uneventful trek back to Kakariko. Their arrival caught everyone's attention, and Lady Impa moved towards them quickly.
“Any luck with the shrines?” she asked. “Is everything okay?”
“It’s fine,” Tilieth assured her with a smile. “We just need to pass through again to head for the—”
“Next destination,” Abel interrupted. He… didn’t want anyone to know where they were going. Not even the princess’ royal advisor. “We’ll stay here tonight. If that’s fine with you.”
“Of course,” Lady Impa acknowledged, her tone implying that it was obvious. Abel felt a little guilty at it, at her hesitancy and uncertainty as she looked at him. He’d never interacted with the woman much in the past, but a little voice in his mind did whisper that they were all on the same side. It sounded annoyingly like Tilieth.
Abel gently lowered Link from Ama, letting Tilieth take him and hobble over to a nearby cooking pot. He glanced towards the mountain pass once more.
He’d wait until nightfall to explore. The less fuss, the better.
Tilieth’s off-tune humming filled the air, making the former knight smile. His wife rocked back and forth where she sat, taking Link with her as he was settled on her lap. Abel took comfort in the gentle, warm cheer, watching as Tilieth started to chat aimlessly with the Sheikah chief.
“Where’s Sheik?” Tilieth asked. “I saw nearly everyone else. Oh, and how’s the little one and her mother? Mellie and Jummo, right?”
“They’re both doing great,” Lady Impa answered happily. “The plum trees we planted seem to be surviving too. This rain is certainly helping. As for Sheik, she left around the same time you two did.”
“Where did she go?”
“She’s… on a pilgrimage. She’s visiting all the sacred springs that Princess Zelda visited.”
Abel tuned out the rest of the conversation, simply watching Tilieth and Link. He sat on the stairs to the inn, leaning against a crate and feeling himself nod off. He supposed not sleeping was catching up to him. He shook his head to try and stay awake – he had to investigate Central Hyrule tonight, after all.
“Honey? You okay?”
Abel blinked again, and—when had the sun set so much? When had Tilieth moved to stand in front of him?
“Oh, Abel,” Tilieth said softly, placing a hand on his cheek. He reached up, letting his hand rest over hers to reassure her, eyes searching for Link as he confusedly tried to piece together what had just happened. “Honey, why don’t you get some sleep?”
Sleep? No, not yet. He’d just slept a little anyway, right? Time had passed.
“’m alright,” he slurred, not sounding convincing in the slightest. Damn it.
Tilieth’s eyes grew glassy with worry and unshed tears, and Abel felt even worse for it. Damn it.
Reaching forward, he pulled her close, letting her sit on his lap a moment as they held each other, and he kissed her just under her eyes, catching the tears as they fell. “I’m okay, love. I promise.”
Tilieth trembled in his arms, sniffling. “Abel, I just… it’s okay. Please, just rest. I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t worry,” he whispered, holding her more tightly, willing all of his love and assurance into it. Please don’t worry. She had enough to worry about. He’d caused his wife enough problems lately. “I promise I’ll sleep later tonight, okay? I just… want to pray at the statue before bed.”
Tilieth perked up, and her expression was hard to read. His wife was naturally far more trusting than him, so he hoped the lie would work (and oh how he despised having to lie to her, but she’d never let him go if he said what he was planning on doing). However, Tilieth was not a fool – she knew Abel didn’t really pray anymore. Perhaps, once in a while, in the middle of the night, in desperation or loneliness, Abel would wander to the Temple of Time before this new journey had begun, but it had been rare.
It was hard to believe in the love of goddesses who would allow this to happen, after all.
His wife watched him silently, her brown eyes piercing into him in a way that reminded him of Link, searching for answers unspoken. Abel broke the spell, though, by leaning in and kissing her on the forehead, brushing curls away from her face.
That night, he ate in silence. He didn’t dare speak, he didn’t dare try to reassure her any more, he didn’t wish to lie any further. Tilieth seemed to gain some of her earlier cheer back as she woke Link to feed him, as she cleaned him and tucked him in. Abel watched the pair, heart heavy, wondering if this was a mistake.
What if… what if he failed again? What if he got himself killed out there, in that goddess forsaken land? What if there were guardians out there as there had been ten years ago?
What would he find? What if he didn’t return?
What would happen to his family?
You’re being paranoid. There was no way Central Hyrule was that dangerous, or Lady Impa would have warned them about it. Right? Besides, Blatchery Plain was riddled with guardians and they were all harmless. So it had to be fine. Right?
Right?
There was a shrine there, though. He had to try.
For Link.
Abel watched Tilieth settle into the bed beside Link, leaving space for him to join her. He went outside, heading for the goddess statue.
Hylia smiled serenely at him. Abel stared darkly back.
He didn’t pray. He couldn’t. Even if he recognized the gift that Epona was, the miracle that Link was actually improving, he couldn’t pray. How could he, after what he’d done today?
How could he, after all his failures? He blamed Hylia for the destruction of Hyrule, but he hadn’t done any better to protect it.
He’d killed a man today.
Could he have avoided it?
It didn’t matter. Whether he could’ve avoided it or not, it didn’t matter. That person would never be a threat again.
But what if he was just scared? What if you could’ve talked him down, as you had with those siblings at Proxim Bridge?
Am I a murderer?
He supposed he didn’t deserve to pray. He wasn’t a knight; he wasn’t even a good man anymore. He was just a survivor. And he would do anything to protect his family.
Besides, that Hylian had clearly been starving. He’d likely been desperate and would’ve been willing to do anything too. He’d been a threat.
Abel still didn’t think he was a good man anymore, though. He wasn’t sure he’d been one since the Calamity.
He didn’t need to be a good man. Just a good fighter.
Hylia smiled serenely at him. Abel turned away.
He paused as he passed the inn. Almost went inside to see his wife and his son. But then he kept going. He didn’t want to risk catching Tilieth’s attention. Quietly, he guided Ama out of the village before mounting her and riding into the night.
A keese or two tried to interfere as he rode, but he eliminated them easily.
Eagus Bridge seemed infinitely more foreboding as he crossed it now. Horwell Bridge even more so.
Ama’s hoofs tapped rhythmically, a familiar, comforting cadence to the pounding in his heart. His skin felt cold, the hair on the back of his neck prickling. Was he being watched? He didn’t hear the sound of the earth tearing under clawed metal feet, he didn’t hear the claps of thunder that followed the firing of lasers, he didn’t hear the ticking as the mechanical monsters prepared to destroy whatever was in their path.
His heart raced even faster. Ama nickered nervously, picking up on his energy, pausing at the edge of the bridge.
Central Hyrule stood before him.
It was hard to really see it with as dark as it was. The moon was crescent tonight, barely spilling any of its blessed light. Abel’s eyes were wide, desperate to take in every piece of information he possibly could. The wind blew innocently, bringing the scent of soil and water.
No flowers. No leaves. No trees. Dirt was carried in the breeze, loose, eroding, barren.
It was all barren.
Abel carefully bade Ama forward, and as her hooves crunched into the soil, he felt his body tense further.
What little light was available from the moon vanished, hidden behind clouds heavy laden with rain. Ama’s black hair made her practically disappear into the darkness, and thunder rumbled not too far away.
Abel urged his steed ahead, slowly and carefully. Thunder rumbled again.
Thunder. Thunder.
The sky burned.
The bells in the temple rang repeatedly, a warning and a petition, a prayer and a guide. It punctuated the screams, it harmonized the ticking of lasers as they charged and fired, shooting through the air with such intensity that it created miniature claps of thunder as the heat separated the air harshly before it returned together with a snap.
Abel’s breath caught in his throat.
The world around him was deafening.
There was so much noise, and his ears were ringing so much, he honestly couldn't tell what sound came from what source anymore. Was it a scream? Was it a guardian? Was that a child wailing or a gear grinding? Was that his heart pounding in his ears or was it a thunderclap from another beam firing?
Ama whinnied, moving in place anxiously.
Abel stared ahead, watching troops march together, some limping, others helping their comrades. Many had wagons and horses to help them.
He heard whirring. He heard gears. He heard claws, and ticking, and thunder.
Thunder rumbled again. The earth shook. Ama neighed, growing skittish, jostling him in his saddle, it was raining, when had it started raining, something was moving, something was moving—
Abel heard horse hooves galloping, he heard a battle cry, he saw mud splashing in the barren wasteland around him—
Bokoblin!
Abel gasped, coming to reality, spurring Ama into motion, and she ran ahead. He drew his sword, catching sight of the enemy, recognizing faintly the familiar motion of aiming a bow and arrow. He jerked his horse to the side as an arrow flew by his ear, and he redirected her to charge once more, stabbing the bokoblin. His blood was racing, his body soaked, his hands trembling—
His horse whinnied with panic as flames spread too close, licking at its hooves and his heels. He steered the mare around the flames as she almost bucked him off, and then the flames were abruptly disrupted by a clawed foot tearing into the earth and squelching them.
In the haze and smoke, Abel recognized the pink mechanical eye transfixed on him. He sucked in a sharp inhale, coughing harshly on the smoke in his lungs, and urged his mount to move.
Metal glinted. Lightning flashed, reflecting on a blank eye, a mirror to a past of fire and smoke.
Abel froze in his saddle. Ama ran harder, petrified, out of control.
The guardian was hot on his heels, charging its laser as he once again pushed the horse to run faster. His steed neighed in protest, her stamina draining out of her faster than it could replenish, and the guardian fired.
Go! Go, run!!!!
Abel pulled on the reins hard, making Ama neigh in protest as she tried to obey, as her hooves slipped, she lost her balance in such a sharp turn, and both horse and rider fell into the mud.
Thunder rumbled.
Thunder clapped as lasers fired.
It was pouring.
The sky was aflame as people screamed.
It was deafening it was deafening.
Movement stirred nearby, screams—screams of civilians—thunder thunder guardian fire, they were everywhere—
Abel whirled, sword at the ready, a snarl at his lips as Ama tried to right herself. His hilt made contact, slamming something, and he looked around with crazed, terrified eyes.
Where was it where was it—
Ama finally stood. Thunder rumbled again. Lightning flashed.
Lightning flashed. Shining a light. A light. On the barren wasteland. There was—there were—what was—
Blonde curls, stained with red. A figure, lying still in the mud. Green tunic smattered in brown, the only green as far as the eye could see—
Abel felt his heart stop.
This wasn’t—this wasn’t real this wasn’t real nononononono—
Abel ran, heart racing once more. The world shook as lighting struck again. The figure remained still on the ground.
“TILIETH!”
He collapsed into the mud, shaking her shaking her begging, pleading, goddess no please no—
The still fingers. The still feet. The still body. The paleness, the redness, the black and blue and—
“NO!”
Thunder roared. The rain was deafening. But nothing could outweigh the sobs, nothing could cover the screams, nothing could stave the panic as the former knight shook his wife over and over and over and over and over.
#I am so sorry guys#I AM SO SORRY TIL AND ABEL#I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED OK#THE THOUGHT CAME TO ME AND IT JUST TOOK OFF AND#AJTEIWOAJFEIWOAJFKSLAJFIOEWA#ABEL IS NOT OK#writing#blood of the hero#abel#tilieth#tis but a scratch#eheheh#heh#I'm gonna go bury myself under a rock now#out of shame#and before Abel kills me#breath of the wild#legend of zelda#breath of the wild link#botw link#ABEL YOU MORON I--#GET SOME DAMN SLEEP AND--#*SCREAMING*#*flees*#NEVER LET ME LISTEN TO FINAL HOURS EVER AGAIN#my skin is crawling after writing this oh my gosh#NOBODY IS DEAD I PROMISE
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what if i was abel and you were cain and you threw that big rock at my neck and burst my artery and i moaned loudly in biblically accurate nerd yelling
what if I was Cain and you were Abel and we were having a dramatic swordfight on the Heaven Vessel. Huh? What if you struck me but I kept fighting because my belief told me to? My belief that I was better- that id always be better- because I was favored, chosen even?
And so you fell me. You kill me with a fucking rock. You fell me out of jealousy and rage, and I’m the first death, what then, idiot? Fucking Moron?
So my pitch is a biblical retelling in the style of metal gear where the thesis presented at the end is that we should kill god with a sword. Thoughts? It will be called HERESY V.
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Which Danganronpa do you think got dealt the worst by Localization?
I'd be lying if I didn't say Gonta. (though Angie's god changing from being a generic god, making her a mockery of religious folk, to Atua, a very specific god that real people actually worship, has some fucked up, arguably kinda racist implications.)
A small CW for discussing the R slur in this analysis/rant. I don't write it out, but I understand 100% if you don't want to read it.
Speaking in the third person is considered a cute quirk in Japan. When a Japanese author has a character speak in third person, they are usually trying to make the character appear cute and harmless, which absolutely fits Gonta.
However, most American (or culturally American) authors reserve that kind of third person talk is reserved either for cavemen, or neurodivergent characters, with the implication that the character in question is too dumb to have a proper grasp of English. (Abelism much?)
This fits everyone else's perception of Gonta, but not who he actually is as a character.
One of the main points of Ch4 is that the class (even characters Kodaka wants you to like, such as Kaito and Himiko) was wrong to treat Gonta like he was stupid, and that Kokichi, who you aren't meant to like (as a person. As an antagonist he does a decent job) at this point, was in the right. With the big twist of Ch6 coming up, in addition to the Ch5 reveal that people like Kaito and Kokichi can work together to a common goal, it's important to point out that your cast isn't as perfect or infallible as they appear.
Which is why it does such a disservice to have Gonta continue to speak in the third person in the English version.
Gonta isn't the first character to speak in the third person in Danganronpa, Ibuki does it too! But it doesn't affect Ibuki's characterization in the same way, since Ibuki's character isn't about wrongly being underestimated. If Ibuki comes across as slightly dumber, it isn't a disservice to the themes of the story.
Also, Ibuki's backstory doesn't evoke Cavemen in the western player's mind.
Some other changes around Gonta were made, notably that Miu does not actually say the R slur to him. The word is a step up from 'baka' in rudeness, so "moron" or "fucking idiot" would be closer to the original tone. Miu calls many people idiots, with Kaito and Kaede being the first to mind. Only Gonta gets the ableist slur treatment -_- (Which makes the fact that it was put in there even more heartbreaking for me.)
Even if you aren't meant to agree with Miu, this can subtly color your perceptions of Gonta. Also, Miu gets a lot of hate for this, which doesn't seem fair to me. Stan Miu.
The most infuriating thing about this is, there's another v3 character that speaks in the third person in Japanese. My queen, Tenko Chabashira. They changed how she referred to herself for the western audiences, when arguably keeping it the same would not have done her that much of a disservice to her character. (She's a comic relief character who says dumb shit. Having her seem a bit less cute and a bit more stupid to western audiences wouldn't affect her plotline that much. Some people would maybe get irrationally angry and say she's a strawman (or strawwoman! sorry Tenko.) for feminists, but Kiibo is right there.)
So the argument that the translators would have to put a lot of work in doesn't hold.
In order to adapt Gonta more accurately and have him seem cute like Kodaka intended, I propose that he has emoticons at the end of his sentences sometimes. (I am shot by a sniper rifle for this idea!)
Heres his canon first line (not counting pregame because fuck that)
"Oh! Sorry for scaring! Gonta scary-looking. Most people not wanna talk to Gonta when meeting for first time. So, like gentleman, Gonta say thank you! Thank you for talking to Gonta!"
and here's it with how I'd alter it.
"Oh! Sorry for scaring! I'm scary-looking. Most people not wanna talk to me when meeting for first time. :( So, like gentleman, I say thank you! Thank you for talking to Me! :)"
Like, he comes across different, huh? Even to my eye, it reads more like he's struggling with the language in the second one, while the first one not so much.
Kaito and the Saiouma ship actually benefit from the localization, but that is another topic for another day.
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Do you have any favorite Tellius characters?
Yes, though since I haven’t had the opportunity to play or emulate the Tellius series (the former because the game discs are like… hundreds of dollars now and the latter because I’m a computer-illiterate moron), I can’t say I know much about them so my love/appreciation is probably only surface level.
So a few based on what I’ve read on their wiki pages/what I’ve learned in FEH:
Meg: Cute as a button, adorable character design and I’m gonna build her once she comes to FEH.
Skrimir: Uhhhh… he’s very hot, lol.
Titania: I think her lore and her role as the mother character is super fascinating. I never liked how Palla in Echoes had whined about having feelings for Abel when that’s her sister’s boyfriend, but Titania’s unrequited love was tastefully done, she wasn’t aware of Elena’s existence at first and kept her feelings mostly to herself. Plus she’s beautiful.
Mia: Love her attitude, love her whole character and she’s a really cool person. Plus I liked when she was voiced by Lani Minella.
Sigrun: I feel like she’s a parallel to Titania in terms of being the mother figure. She’s also very pretty.
Tibarn: He is VERY handsome and I’m a sucker for scars.
Caineghis: Jake Eberle’s performance as Caineghis really sold me on his character, especially the “THIS OLD BLOOD STILL BOILS!” line. His personality of a once reckless and fierce warrior who mellowed out and wisened with age is just fantastic.
Ranulf: Uhhhh well Armen Taylor’s “poor beorc” line made me really fall in love with Ranulf. It was not planned, lmao. But ignoring that silliness, the fact that Ranulf is very easy to get along with and accepting, despite the discrimination he’s faced as a laguz, is admirable and adds charm to his character.
Muarim: He is ALSO very handsome but I also like his sad backstory. Him semi-adopting a beorc regardless of his history is very sweet.
Petra: I’m sorry, but I love me a bad bitch sometimes XD
I think so far, those are the characters I can list that I really like. I want to give an honorable mention to Bastian for being both goofily smitten with Lucia but also incredibly clever and competent, and also Zelgius for being an interesting antagonist (Plus Robert Clotworthy’s voice is great, like thunder and silk at the same time). There’s also the couple that adopted the Branded girl whose names escape me, but I like them too.
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Thinking about Jesse/Skyler never really getting a chance to bond over being treated shit by Walt, and that got me on what Gould said about Jimmy and Howard being Chuck’s surrogate sons in a cain and abel situation, how Jimmy tells himself that the not being allowed to use his own name is all Howard, and how Howard really tried to pretend that Chuck was doing okay for years and there was nothing wrong. Obviously they handled it differently because Jimmy and Kim are traumatised emotionally constipated morons (beloved) but you know, connecting dots
jesse and skyler both as the abused partner, and jimmy and howard both as the mistreated/manipulated brothers makes me 💫😵💫
and tbh jimmy blaming and resenting howard completely makes sense from the perspective that he has, he can't fathom the concept that it's actually chuck blocking him from using his own name, chuck who wants to sabotage his legal career. once he discovers the truth, that resentment is too ingrained to really change, howard is still this figure in that tragic play who contributed to it, and there's some envy there, too, that he's the good/accepted one, rather than the screw-up and the one who's shut out and judged. meanwhile, howard hero worships chuck so much that he follows his orders despite his innate feelings and knowing that it's unfair, and he perpetuates the lie and the denial of how bad the situation is because it's so very hard to see those we admire as fallible and damaging (and chuck is respected colleague alongside the surrogate paternalism). every single one of them handled those situations badly and lashed out at one another incorrectly. (there was a GREAT thread on twitter about howard's role and why the way he reached out to jimmy and kim still felt patronizing to them, and why jimmy and kim felt/reacted the way they did and were unable to separate him from what happened with chuck, i wish i had saved it because my app won't let me scroll back far enough to find it again. 😞) they were all so connected in their reactions and all played a hand in the fates that unfolded.
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Borowski Legacy - 1917
Lots of hugs are given before the men depart to Europe. Selma is in shambles, sobbing and hugging her boys goodbye. Abel has not yet come back from his proposal to Olive. Amelia knew it would not go well, but she did not think it would cause him to depart without saying goodbye. She hopes he does not regret it.
Amelia feels anger at the unfairness of it all. But she acts jolly and optimistic for her family, especially Otto.
"You will do wonderful, Otto." Amelia says.
Otto looks surprised. "It is inspiring to hear you say that, sister. I never thought there would be a day you did not torment me."
Amelia laughs, then looks very serious. "Do not die out there. We need you and Abel and Father. And if you see our moronic brother, tell him to write. Mother will be fretting over him since he did not say goodbye."
It is now time to say her farewells to her father, Moses. They have had a rocky relationship, Moses never thinking Amelia was womanly enough. She fears for a second that her father will not hug her, but then Moses gives her the biggest hug she has ever recieved.
"Take care of your mother and the baby, my girl." Moses says, voice strained.
Amelia hugs him back. "You trust me to do so?"
"More than anyone."
#sims 4#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 simblr#sims 4 legacy#sims 4 story#sims 4 gameplay#sims#my sims#sims 4 decades challenge#borowski legacy#ts4 legacy challenge#ts4 legacy#ts4 screencaps#ts4 story#ts4 gameplay#ts4 simblr#ts4 decades#ts4 decades challenge
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Daily Anon Chronicles chapter five
On edge on edge on edge😖
AYO SHE CLAWED US WTF LADY CALM DOWN
Jocelyn being calm and collected after hitting a woman with a boulder. I need that kinda calm in me.
NO LET NOAH GO
THAT'S RIGHT TALIA NOONE TOUCHES NOAH
Ngl but not taking Talia was a pretty stupid idea. Just saying
Ayo we're losing control (hm is that a song or smn)
F
Abel is rattled, mc is on edge WHAT IS GOING ON I'M TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE WAAAAAAAAAAA
Not me remembering the tune as it is and my mind playing it
I would've stayed silent if that kinda thing happened to me ngl i would be SO EMBARRASSED
Lia, please darlin it's hard enough to find someone like you let alone let you die
Ok so, i think the jealous brother did somethings there which made that place like that. 😲😲😲😲😲😲 OMG WHAT IF JEALOUS BROTHER IS REDFIELD😲😲😲😲😲
What Joss is saying is true even tho it stings a bit
THIS CONVO AFTER JOSS LEAVES IS SO FUNNYYY AHAHAHAHAHHA
I hope that if I'm sick and get out of bed(i guarantee you i will just say I'm fine coz first I'm scared of meds and second i don't like staying in bed it makes me restless) that my friend tells me to get my ass back in bed
ABEL LOOKS SO SAD OMG I WANNA STAY LOYAL TO LINKY BUT I'M BECOMING AN ABEL SIMP TOO IMMA FLIRT WITH HIM IN THE NEXT ROUTE I PLAY
idk why i always imagine an angry panda when i hear the word stomp xaxaxaxa
Um I'm in a car Joss so I'm here to give u a lift
Typing after nails are cut is so hard
Oh come on Joss sarcasm is 🤌
Erm hunger is a human thing Joss why u embarrassed. I feel like Allison and Diego with Joss. With Joss being Diego. Y'all remember that scene where Allison's like what was that and diego says hi allison loudly and she's like ya that's better
Pahhhhhhhhh, i don't stay in bed i just work through the sickness or whatever. Unless it's rly srs so
I will change the subject, Wu. I rly wanna do the casual hookup route but then Linky. WAIT FOR ME JOCELYN
Joss i can literally read faces and say if someone is bad ot not stfu. LMAO WE'RE DANCING ON THE TABLE I FEEL THE DEPTHS OF EMBARRASSMENT. Oh thank goodness we're coping but everyone else is prolly on edge.
AY UR THE MORON BITCH WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING
Let's hope it'll be fine.
Shirtless Linky hmmmm what I'd do to lick those shoulders. HE HAS CHEST HAIR. CHEST HAIR ALERT🚨🚨 well thanks Luis, for spilling wine on his shirt. It's alright, Lia he's just teasing.
OH NO OH NO PLEASE NO LINKY I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU I WAS JUST HAVING SOME FUN
Sorry Linky we're all horny here and we'll use any excuse to see a shirtless guy/girl. I kinda feel bad for Noah rn. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY *singsongy* LINKY'S GONNA HELP US with the power thing and some other things if u get what i mean
WOOOOO LESGOOOOOO. F. IF THIS IS U ANNIE ISTG I WILL CASTRATE U.
also can I just say that I love how everyone calls lincoln linky now. it's so great
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Here is Cain in the flesh.
So, one of the test subject Adams and Eves had two sons, Cain and Abel. Both the brothers didn’t get along due to their differences, since Cain was the more stronger, ambitious and outgoing son. I would describe his younger self (on the right) as closely resembling Lucifer’s character before he went full rebellion on God, but wasn’t as violent. It also didn’t help that Adam (his father) kept acting overly prideful towards him. As for Abel, he was slightly weaker, more quieter and preferred to hang out with quiet nature then having to hear his brother’s annoying boasts about himself. Abel wouldn’t use the violent approach on Cain, since Cain would always win, but would make snarky comments, calling him an overbearing moron.
Anyway, one day God decided to test the brothers to ordering them to give him a great sacrifice. Cain, believing he was already the favourite, used some old rotting fruit, whilst Abel chose the healthier lamb he raised from his barn. Of course, Abel’s was the best offering, causing Cain to feel like a failure for the first time ever, all whilst Abel smirked glad to finally get one over his brother. This further fuelled Cain’s anger and so, you know how the story goes right?
Cain ends up murdering his brother using a rock and his hands. Later when God finds out and confronts Cain about it, who actually admitted to it without any sign of regret, punishes him by putting a curse of immortality on him. And so Cain decided to leave his home and wander the world, never seeing his parents again as he couldn’t face them.
Time passes and Cain tries to move on with his life, build a city, have a wife and children. Basically a big family, to which he was happy for a while. He even began to learn to forgive himself for his past actions. But then….disaster struck.
Due to the rise of Nephilims and wars with mankind, God decided to cause the great flood, only allowing Noah and his family to live. Of course being immortal, Cain wasn’t able to drown alongside his loved ones, and so could only watch helplessly as all his family and friends drowned before him. He tried desperately to save them, even begging God for countless days and nights to save his family, but never got an answer.
Realising he would never find true peace or rest with the curse on his back, Cain vowed to take his revenge on God.
Nowadays (left) he lives as a wealthy owner of a bunch of factories under a fake identity. Comes across as someone who has great charisma, laid back and has a good soul. At least on the outside…..because truth is, he’s very much evil behind close doors. He works with a bunch of demons, uses ancient dark magic to get what he needs and plans to cause chaos to the world. He is very bitter and resents God very much.
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Sorry autocorrect
STEALS EVERYTHING ABEL HAS EVER OWNED
....
And what makes you think you have the power to do that?
YIKES a person behind anonymity stole all my stuff how terrible!!!
You are a MORON if you think I would believe this actually happened!
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You know, my talk about the (most likely) unintentional abelism with RWBY’s writing in the Atlas Arc earlier today reminded me of a another conversation I saw about a year ago. They started making many similar points about some faults in the writing...and then started saying some shit like Pietro and Maria "didn’t count” as disabled rep because they didn’t appear in the back half of V8 or something along those lines. I can’t help but wonder if a part of the reason why some people are unwilling to acknowledge certain faults in RWBY’s writing is simply because they don’t want to associate themselves with people who have a bit of a reputation for being unhinged entitled morons in any way. (Granted I completely understand not wanting to be associated with them and I think RWBY’s writing is mostly really good, there is faults and they should be acknowledged).
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My Fractured History Of Firefighting
As we close out the 100th anniversary of Nation Fire Prevention Week, I thought I’d take a quick look at the history of firefighting.
You might want to brace yourself, we’ll be moving fast.
Fire was discovered by Adam, who was kicked out of the Garden of Edan because of an apple—making it the first core-pral punishment. It gets darned cold in the real world, but Adam could only find one stick, so he made a fire by rubbing it against a Cain. This led to emotional problems with Cain later on; he tried to cope, but wasn’t Abel.
Ancient Egyptians experienced fire problems when a column of fire led the Jews out of bondage. The Jews were followed by the Pharaoh and his army, who were sore about being plagued. Pharaoh then took his army to the Red Sea, figuring it would water down the flame.
The soldiers drowned, much to the sorrow of their mummies. The Pharaoh himself was unusually tall, and waded back to shore: To this day, when someone measures the intensity of fire, they speak of degrees in Pharaoh Height.
The Roman Empire invented the first fire extinguisher, which looked like a big syringe. Their first firefighters were slaves, and when the syringe wasn’t effective they were just thrown on the flames until the fire was smothered. Everyone was satisfied with this arrangement. Except the slaves.
Benjamin Franklin helped found the earliest organized fire force in the New World. He also flew kites in thunderstorms, thumbed his nose at the most powerful empire in the world, and had indiscriminate sex with dozens of women. And so, to this day, firefighters are assumed to be crazy.
(It turns out Franklin was literally a founding father.)
The AFD hose reel was much more effective when it had hose on it.
Fast forward (a lot) to Albion in 1887, when a major fire burned down an entire block, townspeople were disturbed to learn they couldn’t find a decent cup of coffee: All the restaurants had cooked. After a week without java the townspeople voted to fund either a fire department, or a coffee house. If the vote had gone the other way, we’d be forming coffee cup brigades.
The Albion Fire Department consisted of a chief, an assistant chief, three foremen, a designated Coffee Rescue Team (they just couldn’t get over the infamous “Week Without a Cup”)—and the entire population. It took a dozen people to pump the water by hand, and another dozen to make the coffee. In an emergency the coffee would be pumped onto the fire, if they felt they had the grounds.
When volunteers ran (literally) to their first call they found they had no hose, which watered down their effectiveness. Luckily, it was only the courthouse burning, not the coffee house. Just the same, they added a hose cart to go with the pumper. Today’s fire trucks carry pumps and hose together, along with modern marvels such as instant coffee.
The third original AFD apparatus, a hook & ladder, carried hooks .., and ladders. The hooks could be used to pull down flaming roofs, walls, and Pharaohs. The ladders were used to rescue sacks of coffee. (No Pharaoh was harmed in the writing of this article.)
The AFD became motorized in 1929, and still owns that very first truck. We’re that cheap.
It still pumps! You know ... just in case.
On spotting a fire citizens would say something descriptive, like “fire!” and, being firefighters, the firefighters faithfully fought the fire’s fury. Rural homes were on their own, being out of shouting range. But firefighters hate to see fire without putting water on it; families have been torn apart at cookouts, after someone starts the grill, and a firefighter relative throws all the beer on it. So the AFD bought a water tanker, so they could haul their own supply. Of water, not beer.
Other changes came quickly. With four wheel drive trucks, firefighters didn’t have to wait for a wildland fire to come to them, especially since it sometimes didn’t want to. Besides, while they were waiting some other moron with a match … ahem … another wildland fire might break out.
Air packs were developed so firefighters can go into toxic atmospheres and keep their lungs healthy, so they didn’t have to give up smoking.
And then: I was born.
This is the most flattering fireground photo of me I could find.
This is not a date ordinarily observed at our firehouse. No, I don’t know why.
Back then we didn’t wear our protective clothing much. In fact, when I responded to my first house fire I’d been issued: boots. Just boots.
Well, I wore jeans and a t-shirt, let’s not get silly.
Today we’re covered head to toe in materials developed for really dangerous professions, like astronauts and talk show hosts. The air tanks are so light, we sometimes forget to take them off. Imagine the strange looks we get in the grocery store checkout lane.
Who knows what’s in store for the future? Maybe we’ll have cameras that can see through smoke, lightweight air tanks, computers, and portable radios we can just clip on our belts. Oh, wait … we have those.
But we’ll keep the old ’29 engine. Just in case.
Find our books at:
http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"
And check out the Albion Fire Department's history in Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights: A Century Or So With the Albion Fire Department.
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Watch "Shinedown - 45 (Official Video) [HD]" on YouTube
youtube
And it was John remillard that caused the temporal distortion because he did it to George a little bit by making him sick and stuff and he operated on everyone else and made them stupid and in their stupidity he was released from their parental controls and harassed me Non-Stop in Port Charlotte just to get elected. And because he was doing that I decided we needed stupid people who are Satanist because what he was doing was monitoring me 24 hours a day with people and himself and echoing thoughts and saying I can't think this and harassing me as if he was a Mac and he forced me more or less to make people dumb and that's what happened and it was him and he says it was bja and he attacked him and turned him into Abel and of course I had to it was my idea based on his harassment so David audette my brother was right it is you and you're the one who did it and father says he had notes so I'm going to switch to him
Zues Hera
And I say this I'm saying stuff and he's saying what is it and the idiots trying to cut me off and you can't anymore this is getting weak finally and what I'm saying is I don't want to hear this a****** and space anymore and that's what he was doing to my husband he does it all sorts of people because he's a moron and we attack people who do it he just made more people so stupid people come out and they just keep ruining themselves enrolling satanists and after a while you have to do something and that's my husband's motif and I do it too but nowhere near as much he is a maniac about it and it actually broke the back of Satanist's in many ways and they don't know about it
Hera
It works it's hard to tolerate but it's not that hard and it's easier for him cuz he knows why I didn't what he did it for a lot of people just have to control their anger he has to of course but you're a victim trying to read my Lord he says most of yourself because you're the one who revealed it and he says you died that day you did he took bja down with you and a bunch of other people and you had no chance no choice but you did it and all to become president and you still covered the position like that and Biden doesn't get it started wiping you out today it says the best decision he's ever made I said David put a letter in there that box and tell him what he's what he is and what he did wrong almost he told him most of it her son said the last part to Biden today and said you got to stick around tonight it comes out and you can hear Trump banging around somewhere next door like little baby and he's going to go back to Cicero and get shot again badly throw hanger need they put some orders out there much more serious both of them and they're huge and other leaders don't like them because they see what they're doing to the top leader and they go after him it's like someone in prison who's a child molester or wife feeder they get killed and actually he was in prison and he was that and he got killed that's what we should put him in there and also cannibal or whatever you get killed as I'm going to start doing that to him.
He made the circle happen I was there in Port Charlotte and he was harassing his mom and he's harassing her son he says this is what we have to do they want me 24/7 and they're too smart and we knew how it was happening sort of and we knew it was Max as well I said we have to make some stupid ones so we made the one stupid that are doing it and he turns around and says it's what they should be doing as stupid people and I did take it the right way because they're going around harassing people in the wrong way and people have to see them or they get hurt and it has worked a lot it's dangerous but the guys are complete idiots.
No he made a lot of them any masks and he used a smoke screen and still going on for tons of stuff we're doing it and tell me f is pitching the hand in there with these young guys who hardly know anything and they're soft and subtle and they come up top side most of my have a life here and they start ratting and it's a mess and Tommy F has to deal with that and a lot of it happened because of these stupid people what's happened because Donald Trump wanted to be president would not leave our son alone about it hates him because his granddad is in there and people are pressuring for that stupid stuff to happen and Matt doesn't get it that's what happened
This video tells a story almost all of it but he already knew about the time travel part he figured out the day figured out that he's the guy he's the loser who divorced stuff by being just such a pain in the ass and Dave audette said you know it's you and you send it to me one day in a way and you said you have to kill me and he said that to David that was Joe Watts who said it to Dave and Dave said I don't think I can I have to burn you and one of your clothes would just take your job over and it'll be him who did it a weaker one believe it or not so you showed his wisdom and Joe watt says how can you be in this conversation I said it's very simple you're this looper. And you really do a number on your own what would I help you you admit that you're my enemy and you want me to help you and you're poor dirt poor he had all giddy and happy and went home and you drank himself to death almost pretty much forgot about it so I'm angry at him started tossing things and he's literally throwing epitas and other stuff so if it is later a bunch of cars started flying at him so don't throw stuff at him and the voice left and you kept doing it so it got squished by a few and said I'm going to keep doing it and he says you're going to keep dying you stupid as a chimpanzee we know it see if we put down like an animal says what you keep talking and you got another one tossed on him he died many times that day he keeps talking now cuz he's an imbecile it works great but we need more soldiers and troops and we're always behind and I'm putting the word out now I need these numbers tomorrow these numbers today after and these numbers the following day and I need it now
Thor Freya
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The twins anomalies of Faust chapter 2
Mit at Night In the City
Nacht and Morgan are 15 jears old
Nacht fly araund whit his wings he like it to fly araunt in the dark wo nobody can see him he searching sompfing interesting on the ground it’s good this angels can see really far away
As he see sompfing interesting he fly on the ground he have see the boy wo he searching the last day’s wo all the people talking abaut him in the shadow’s
Yami’s prov
I just wander araunt to god’s some food and do my pfings as I felling a nonhuman Qi this com fast in my derection as I see a boy ore girl I don’t know looks more like girl ore so whit wings and glowing blue eyes is she a tengu? She looks like at my as fount she here food ore so
I graps my catana and and can just say :wha-„
Then say she?:chill I don’t want sompfing bad I’m just interested in you in Person „she put here hands up and looks at my
Nachts prov
The guy looks at my and say :what do you want’s from my tengu
Nacht: what tengu ? Hahahahaha
The boy :why are you lauging ?!
Nacht: you the first on wo don’t know wo I’m and you talk’s free whiteout behind scared abaut my
The boy :why should I ? Just say what do you what’s from my tengu
Nacht: at First I’m not a tengu ore what you talk and tow did I not say this are you dumb?
The boy: hey!!!
Nacht:can I treat you four food there we can talk more in peace dude and I’m Nacht Nice to meed you
The boy: sure …. Yami…….yami sukehiro
Nacht:suit you you Name
Yami :pfangs???
—————————
After some time they talk and eat
Yami:so what the hell are you Nacht?
Nacht:I’m a angel and wo com you from yami ?
Yami:angel what is this? And I’m com from the land of the rising sun
Nacht:interesting are you comfortable if we talk in you laughed I’m not a big fan if people hear a talk they should not hear
Yami:? How you know my laugest?
Nacht in yami’s laugest: I can speak every laugest I want and plus I can tell if you lying to my but as long you have not lying to my
Yami in his laugest : okay It’s going more interesting…hmm so you are a big birt whit the abelity to use efry laugest and tell if I lie god god
Nacht hisss:I’m not a birt Moron but as long it’s the points you need to know at first
Yami: sure sure
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Cain and his family go to the beach, and he and his brothers get up to exactly the sort of mischief you’d expect of boys their ages.
-
Written for Fe Gen Week- prompt: Underwater.
Features lots of headcanons, like Cain and Abel being brothers, and also they have a younger brother named Seth.
#my writing#fegenweek#fe cain#fe abel#fe shadow dragon#hi these idiots are absolute morons and i love them#and you can pry the heacanon of cain and abel being brothers out of my cold dead hands
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Reading a Wattpad Hannigram Fic [Liveblog]
So I’m very nervous
It’s tagged as boyxboy?? Fucking kill me now
Half expecting this to start like “I woke up suddenly and ran my fingers through my messy light brown hair as Hannibal called me from downstairs “Will breakfast is ready” and I grumbled but went downstairs anyway”-
Starting to read
I’m going to go easy on grammar because the writer is not a native English speaker
Not awful so far (famous last words)
“The older man” god just say HANNIBAL
I shouldn’t have done this
• Regret.✨
Of course of FUCKING course he invites him over for dinner the man meat loving bastard
“Even meat for the dogs” BAHAHAHAHA you moron.
Is there a- a blood kink?
*sing-song* Learn how to use ✨italics✨
“Alana? Alana Bloom?” no just some random fucking Alana, Will you idiot
“But we are still friends” well maybe you shouldn’t have fucked one of your former students. Slut.
Alana is pretty. +5 points for recognising that
Oh so we’re going right to love, okay, I can respect that
IS THIS CHAPTER CALLED ‘COMING OUT’
Oh sexy shower photo, mad respect
Once again Beverly is the only smart one
Oh you brought everything you need to cook? Oh? Whore? Did you bring your cock too?
Oh so this is one of those teacher power imbalances things
If Will still remains the top after all this, I will forgive everything I’ve been forced to read
Why the Fuck would hannibal prefer dry wine. Why. What makes you thing he’s a fun hating monster. You fucking idiot. He has the world’s specialest olfactory senses and taste buds why would he want more f ucking tannins I hate it here
Did. Did he just say ‘voila’
BEDELIA???
Can you even flambé bananas
Non consensual drawing
What the fuck is going on
“Nice to have you on our team, Will. May I call you by your first name?” Well you already fucking did you rude lady you’re going in the goddamn soup-
Chilton would never say “guys” minus 50 points
ABEL?
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
Will actually does resemble Patroclus, it’s very…romantic
“Eidetic memory” oh my god shut up shut the FUCK up this is such bullshit
“Will you fucking moron obviously it’s gay god can’t you read” -what Hannibal should have said in response to the Greek story thing
God you’re so gay
If I have to read explicit gay scrabble I am jumping off a cliff
STOP
S T O P
I’M DONE BYEEEEEE
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT BALLS
Oh? That was it? That was fucking it that was it I’m going to sob
I hate Wattpad I’m deleting it the things I do for you people I’m logging off
#jalexandria#hannibal#hannigram#nbc hannibal#will graham#hannibal lecter#hannibal nbc#liveblogging#hannibal fic liveblogging#wattpad fiction
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Hetalia Family Week - Day 1: Hobbies
This is my entry for @hetafamilyweek day 1 - hobbies (and hugs)
Summary: They didn't have time for family hangouts often, with them being nations and all that, but whenever they did, it was safe to say it was the most fun any of them would have that week.
Sometimes, they would just go for a coffee or lunch or have a picnic. Other times, they would binge-watch a series while cuddling on the couch. And then, there were times like this.
This has also been posted to my a03!
Disclaimer: the opinions of the characters aren’t necessarily the authors opinion. Also, some of the sentences have been translated with Google Translate. If there is any mistake, please let me know and I'll fix as soon as possible! The translations are at the end.
Names used:
Willem = Netherlands
Femke = Belgium
Laurent = Luxembourg
Antonio = Spain
Matthew = Canada
Abel = Holland, @starflight-blog oc
Sjoerd = Friesland, @starflight-blog oc
Lieke = Groningen, @starflight-blog oc
Relevant headcanons time!
- Femke owns a cat named Mika
- Matthew and Willem are married (see end notes for more info)
- Matthew uses he/they pronouns
:readmore:
They didn't have time for family hangouts often, with them being nations and all that, but whenever they did, it was safe to say it was the most fun any of them would have that week.
Sometimes, they would just go for a coffee or lunch or have a picnic. Other times, they would binge-watch a series while cuddling on the couch. And then, there were times like this.
"Can't you two sit still for like five minutes? If you want this painting to actually look good, you're gonna have to let me actually have time to paint you!"
"What if we want it to look like Picasso?"
"Laurent, hoepel een eind op, Picasso sucks and so do his paintings."
"Don't let Antonio hear you say that."
"Antonio can go fuck himself."
"Guys, let's keep this fun, alright? I want to enjoy this day," Femke chimed in. Willem huffed but didn't complain further. Laurent grinned and continued composing a piece for the harp standing next to him.
(When Laurent had led them towards his "inspiration room" as he liked to call it, which was just a room filled with instruments, art supplies and more, both siblings had been filled with dread at the thought of Laurent playing the tuba, or god forbid, the trombone. Willem had said: "Laurent, I swear to god, if you're going to play the tuba or the trombone, I'm going to throw both you and the instrument out of the nearest window." To which Laurent had been a smartass and replied, "Can you even lift all that weight though?" That had ended up in a chase through the house that ended when Femke tackle-hugged both.)
The comfortable silence continued for a while, broken only by the occasional sigh from one of the siblings or Laurent trying the piece on the harp.
"Hey, Fem," Laurent walked up to her while he was taking a quick break, "What're you making?"
"Well, I'm trying to embroider our pets, but this stitch just won't work, godverdomme-"
"Maybe you should take a break and come back to it later? It's getting late anyway, we should eat dinner soon," Laurent suggested. Femke nodded. When no conformation came from Willem, they turned to him.
"Hey, earth to Willem! Did you hear what we just said?" Laurent asked, walking up to him and quickly stopping next to him. "Nondikass!" He exclaimed. "Willem, that looks amazing! How'd you do that in such a short time?!"
Femke, now curious, walked up to her brothers and peeked over their shoulders. "What the fuck, Willem," she gaped at the painting in front of her. It was clearly her and Laurent doing their respective hobbies, with beautiful lighting and background. The vibrant colours of the front of the painting was a stark contrast to the background, which had much softer tones. "You told us you were rusty! What part of this is rusty?!"
Willem, who was now looking more like a tomato, opened his mouth, no doubt to point out all the things that were wrong with it, but Laurent cut him off. "Nope, Mr. Perfectionist, you're not pointing out all the imperfections of this, and that's final. This is a masterpiece, seriously. Don't give me that look!"
"You know," Femke mused, "I might actually hang this in my house once it's dry."
"Guys," Willem said, flustered, "It's not that good. Really. Thanks for the compliments, but-"
"No buts!" Femke exclaimed at the same time Laurent yelled: "Not that good?!"
"Yeah, it's... the colour's off, the perspective is weird, and-"
"I am this close to actually strangling you with your scarf, Willem," Femke cut him off, her hands on her hips. "So what if it isn't perfect? That doesn't make it look any less amazing! I'll tell you what, we're gonna take a break, then we're going to come back here, and you'll see how amazing this actually looks."
Willem looked at her for a few seconds before sighing. "Fine..."
"Now don't go around brooding like that, it's no fun," Laurent said while shooting Femke a quick thumbs-up. Femke grinned.
"Now, come on! I'll make waffles!"
---
"Hey, Matthew replied!" Laurent exclaimed, effectively cutting off Willems' story on the antics of Abel and Sjoerd.
(Apparently, they had gotten into a fight over who had the most creative curse words. This had ended in Abel singing along to the curse word song in Dutch, until Lieke walked in. Sjoerd had promptly slapped a hand over Abel's mouth to stop him from ‘tainting Lieke's innocence’. It was weird.)
"What do you mean?" Willem asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, dearest brother of mine," Laurent replied with a shit-eating grin, which did absolutely nothing to ease Willem's worries. "Because you didn't seem too convinced by us literally shouting how amazing your painting was, we decided to send a picture to Matthew-"
"You what?!"
"-to see what he thinks of it," Laurent continued, unfazed. "Since, you know, you seem to care a lot about what they think, about as much as you care about what we think? I mean I would hope so, considering we're your siblings, but-"
"You're getting off track, Laurent," Femke cut him off. "Anyway, we figured that if anyone other than us would manage to convince you that your painting is amazing, it's gonna be Matthew."
"I-"
"Don't even try to deny it. We went to your wedding, remember? We know how much you care about him. Which is a good thing, by the way. So, Laurent, what did they say?"
"Well, there's an all-caps keysmash, followed by an all-caps 'what?!'. Scratch that, basically everything is in caps. So, the general train of thought is 'what the fuck, this is beautiful, how the fuck did he do this, he calls this rusty?!' And finally, 'I love it 10/10 would hang in my living room and/or show off to my family and friends. It's beautiful and I'll physically fight him on that.'"
"Awww, that's so sweet! See, Willy, your painting truly is amazing!" Femke, sporting a somehow genuine but shit-eating grin, patted her brother on the back. Said brother had his head in his hands and may or may not be crying.
"I hate you two," came the muffled reply with no real heat behind it. Femke and Laurens laughed.
"We love you too, you softie! Now come on, who's ready to spend more time together!" Femke cheered, already halfway across the room.
---
"Jezus Christus, Femke, that looks amazing!" Willem said, looking at the embroidery his sister had made. It pictured their pets, Pelutze, Mika, and Nijntje.
"Aww, thanks Willem!"
"Wait, let me see- wow, sis, this is really good! I love it!"
"Thank you, Lau! By the way, is your composition nearly finished? I want to hear it!"
"Me too, actually."
"Well, it's not done yet, but I can play what I have so far?"
"Yes please!" Femke smiled.
Laurent sat down and started playing the piece of music he had written on the harp. Moving his fingers delicately along the strings, the beautiful melody carried along the room. Once he was done, he looked up.
"So... what did you think- Femke are you okay?!"
"Yeah, sorry, it's just... it's so beautiful!" Femke cried, flinging herself at Laurent and crushing him in a hug.
"I agree with Femke, it was wonderful," Willem chimed in, walking over to his siblings. Femke quickly included him in the hug.
"You two are so talented, what the hell!"
"Fem, you're crushing me," Laurent gasped. "And don't you dare exclude yourself, have you seen what you just made?!"
"Yeah, but-"
"No buts, remember," Willem said, parroting her words back to her with a smirk.
"Why are you like this?"
Willem laughed at this. "You still love me despite it, though!"
"That's not an answer!"
"Is it not?"
"Absolutely not!"
"Guys, please stop. This is a stupid argument," Laurent rolled his eyes.
"Rolling your eyes at us? How rude, Lau," Willem said, locking him in a headlock and ruffling his hair.
"Hey, let me go!"
"Hmmm, let's see... Nope."
"Oh, come on! Fem, help me out here!"
Femke just laughed in response.
"Betrayal!" Laurent screeched, struggling to get out of his brother's headlock. Femke just laughed harder in response, almost falling over.
"You know, you could always just say the magic word to get out."
"The magic- What am I, five?"
"You certainly act like it sometimes."
"Fëck dech."
"Real mature, Laurent."
"Oh, like asking for the magic word is so mature."
"Absolutely. I haven't heard it yet, by the way. Femke, are you doing alright?" Willem asked, as his sister was now lying on the floor, tears streaming down her face. Gasping for air, she shook no.
"Seems like you'd better let me go before we make Femke choke," Laurent commented. Willem tsk-ed.
"Fine, fine. Fem, get up," he said, letting Laurent out of the headlock and extending a hand towards Femke.
"Give- give me a... minute," she said, still gasping for air. After she managed to get enough air in her lungs and not burst out laughing after she saw her brothers standing in front of her with worried (albeit semi-irritated) looks, she finally took Willem's offered hand.
"You two are utter morons."
Willem gasped. "Are you hearing this, Laurent? Slander, complete and utter slander!"
"Well, she's right about one of us, and it isn't me."
"Laurent, ik tyf je de Noordzee in als je niet ophoudt-"
"Try me, old man-"
"Who're you calling old you little-"
''Oh for- hou uw bakkes! If this becomes another argument, I will smother both of you!''
''You wouldn't dare,'' Willem said. After a beat of silence and a fierce glare from Femke, he added: ''Would you?''
''I don't know, why don't you find out?''
''Fem, you're scaring me a bit here,'' Laurent said nervously. Femke hummed. Laurent looked at Willem, wide-eyed. Willem just looked back and shrugged.
''Could you even reach me though?'' Willem, who apparently had a death wish, asked.
Femke whipped around, glaring at her brother. Willem just glared back.
''Guys, no, no one's getting killed today,'' Laurent interjected. ''This is supposed to be a fun family meeting, remember? If there's any way anyone's going down,'' he added on, a devilish grin on his face as he slowly inched closer to his still glaring siblings, ''It's going to be this way!'' he yelled as he quickly poked Willem in his side, who immediately yelped and tried to get away. To no avail, because Femke quickly latched onto his arm and started poking him in his side too.
''No, Fem, wait- What did I do to deserve this?!''
''Well, uh... you took the last waffle?''
''Are you asking me, or-'' Willem started to ask, then yelped again as his siblings started to tickle him.
''No! Please, mercy!''
''Hmmm, Lau, what do you think? Should we stop?'' Femke asked, looking at her younger brother.
''I don’t know, Fem,'' Laurent answered back, devilish grin still on his face. ''He hasn’t said the magic word yet.''
''Godverdomme, natuurlijk is dat het antwoord. Kut! Laurens, stop!''
''Hmm, let me think. Nee.''
Femke snickered. ''He looks like a worm, wiggling like that.''
''How the fuck-''
''Oh my god you're so right,'' Laurent said. ''Willem the worm,'' he started to say, but burst out laughing halfway through. Femke laid on top of Willem, wheezing. Willem, meanwhile, looked absolutely mortified.
''You two are so immature,'' he said.
''Says the guy currently laying on the floor because he's ticklish.''
''I will strangle you,'' Willem threatened.
''Try me, bit- Hey!'' Laurent started to say, before Willem had reached forward and pulled him besides him.
''You know, this is actually surprisingly comfortable,'' Femke commented after a beat of silence.
''No, you're heavy. Get off me- Lau don't you dare lay on top of Femke or I swear- oof!''
''Hmm? What was that?''
''I'll kill you.''
''Aw, we love you too!''
''... Ugh, fine, if I say it, will you get off?''
''Maybe!''
''You two are gremlins, oh my god. Fine, I love you too.''
''He said it! Lau, he said it!''
''Yeah yeah, we all heard it. Now get off me.''
''I mean... technically I never promised I'd get off-''
''Off. Now. Or I'll never bring you stroopwafels again.''
This earned him a scandalized gasp from both of his siblings.
''You’re so mean! How dare you deprive us of stroopwafels?!''
''You can't do that!''
''You two are impossible. I said off,'' Willem complained, trying to sit up. Which was hard, considering Femke was literally laying on top of him.
''Say the magic word first.''
''Are you serious right now? Femke, we are not five.''
''So?''
''... Fine. Femke, can you please get the fuck off me?''
''Fine, close enough,'' she said as she got off Willem, who immediately took a deep breath.
''Finally, oh sweet air how much I've missed you.''
''You’re so weird. Anyway,'' Femke said, turning towards Laurent. ''You recorded the whole thing, right?''
Laurent laughed and rolled his eyes. ''Like you had to ask.''
Willem gaped at them, before jumping up. ''Godver- Laurent give that camera here, right now!''
''No, I don’t want to. I must say this is great blackmail material.''
''Laurent, als je nu niet die camera hier geeft, dan-''
''Du muss mech als éischt fänken!''
Needless to say, Willem ended up chasing Laurent through the house, Femke following closely behind. In the end, all three of them ended up in a dogpile on the couch, laughing. Yeah, family meetings were fun indeed.
-------------------------
Translations:
Hoepel een eind op (Dutch) = a nice(ish) way of saying ‘fuck off’ or ‘go away’
Godverdomme (Dutch, Flemish) = goddammit
Nondikass (Luxembourgish) = used as an exclaimation, meaning something like ‘damn’.
Jezus Christus (Dutch) = Jesus Christ
Fëck dech (Luxembourgish) = Screw you
Ik tyf je de Noordzee in als je niet ophoudt (Dutch) = I will throw you into the North Sea if you don't stop. (The word ‘tyf’ is pretty rude though, albeit used by a lot of teens in my experience, so I would not recommend going around actually saying this.)
Hou uw bakkes (Flemish) = shut up
Godverdomme, natuurlijk is dat het antwoord. Kut! (Dutch) = ‘Goddammit, of course that's the answer. Fuck!’ (even though the word 'kut’ doesn’t mean ‘fuck’, it's used as a replacement pretty often. The more accurate translation would be ‘vagina’, as that is literally what it means, but it's used as a curse word more often than not.)
Nee (Dutch, Flemish, Luxembourgish) = No
Laurent, als je nu niet die camera hier geeft, dan- = Laurent, if you don't give me the camera right now, then-
Du muss mech als éischt fänken! (Luxembourgish) = youre gonna have to catch me first!
Stroopwafels are a Dutch delicacy, I love them so much. Basically, they’re waffles with syrup in between. Google them for examples and probably a better explanation.
I am physically incapable of not adding in a sprinkle of NedCan. I'm sorry (but actually not really,, as stated, Willem and Matthew are married so technically Matthew is family- *gets smacked*)
The ending is more crack and longer than I intended because I have no self-control. Sue me.
Moral of the story: don't anger short ppl. They’re angrier cuz they’re closer to hell-
Yes Willem is ticklish, I said what I said.
Bonus scene: ''Wait, so if Willem is a worm, would Matthew be like... a moose?''
''I am begging you two to stop. Laurent, stop laughing!''
#hetafamilyweek2021#aph benelux#aph netherlands#aph belgium#aph luxembourg#hetalia#hws netherlands#hws belgium#hws luxembourg#aph friesland#aph holland#aph groningen#fanfic#fanfiction#fluff#sibling banter#somerandomdutchfangirl#somerandomdutchartist
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