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Presents

Presents for Winter’s Veil

Today was the day. 

“Presents! Presents!” Chompers cackled as she ran around in circles. Arthas stood there as she circled him energetically. She wore a little red hat over her ears. Her little paws clawed at Arthas’s leg. He reached down to try and shoo her away, but Chompers started at his hand before quickly chomping down on it.

“Ow!” Arthas hissed out. Chompers then licked his hand apologetically. Arthas picked her up and cradled her in his arms. Her little tail wagged.

Arthas sat down in the Shadow Throne and looked at the offensive tree sitting smack in the middle of the floor seal. It was ten feet tall, with wide branches that made the whole room smell of pine. While not the biggest tree found in the Grizzly Hills, it had been impressive enough to cut down and use. Lights of blue, green, red and yellow glittered amongst the needles.

Glass ornaments hung from most of the tree. Chompers broke most of the ones in the lower branches, so the first two feet of the tree was bare of decoration. 

Piles of presents covered the base of the tree. Most of them were wrapped by Sapphire, which meant they were wrapped poorly. Bows were haphazardly tied around a few and it seemed Sapphire had given up for the rest. 

“Presents! Presents!” 

Arthas groaned as Sapphire came running into the throne room, ornaments swaying from her antlers. Ethan came rushing after her. Sapphire rushed toward Arthas.

“Present time!” Sapphire screamed.

“I get the point,” Arthas grunted. 

Ethan gave Arthas a smile before nodding. “I think we’ve waited long enough. Chompers, you can start.”

Chompers hopped out of Arthas’s arms and sprinted toward the tree. She snatched up one box with her mouth and shook it like a rat, tearing the bright green wrapping paper of it. She clawed open and pulled out a teddy bear.

“Yes, a victim!” She said savagely. 

Sapphire picked up on of her own. “My turn!”

Almost as savagely as Chompers, Sapphire opened her present, revealing several pairs of socks.

“Oooh,” Sapphire said in awe. Chompers pulled out a bone from another of hers and immediately chomped onto it. 

As the two girls opened their presents, Falric and Marwyn finally joined them. 

“Sorry, there was a bunch of mistletoe over our door,” Marwyn said mischievously. 

Falric bared his teeth into a grin. “Can’t imagine how it got there.”

Chompers suddenly gasped and brandished a new knife.

“Cool!” She squeaked. Ethan looked on in horror and rushed over to take it away from her.

He looked at the three adult men. “Who got this for her???”

Arthas smiled. “No clue.”

Chompers hopped up and down in an attempt to take the knife from Ethan, but the boy was firm. He pocketed it out of her reach. Chompers stamped her little foot, but was distracted by Sapphire lifting up another present for her. 

Marwyn dug out a present for himself and Falric, then scowled in confusion. He picked up one of the messily wrapped present, with bright blue paper. He came over to Arthas.

“This is for you,” He said, holding it out. Arthas stared, uncomprehending. He took the present. It was heavy and shaped like a box. He slowly tore the wrapper off, finding it to be a painted wooden box with the Alliance lion carved into it.

Sapphire came over, looking a bit bashful. She clutched the moonkin plushie that Arthas had quickly gotten for her. 

“I know it’s not exactly what you asked for-”

Arthas tilted his head. “I don’t remember asking for anything.”

Her little blue eyes twinkled. 

“You did! Remember, after you drank all that embalming fluid and snapped at me.” 

Arthas opened the box’s clasp and lifted the lid. Dozens of little painted soldiers lined the inner velvet. Most of them looked like a typical member of Stormwind’s royal army. There were a few soldiers with epaulettes and unique helms that denoted rank. A few even looked like SI:7 agents.Some of the figurines were even gryphons with little riders. Arthas picked up the one that clearly was the General. 

“You asked for an army, one that is unyielding and tireless. I think little wooden soldier who don’t sleep count!” 

An unwelcome feeling came over him. Arthas tightened his grip onto the small toy, at risk of breaking it, but it was not anger. Sapphire crawled into his lap. She then pulled a red and white hat out from behind her back and put it on Arthas’s head and kissed him on the cheek.

“Happy Winter’s Veil! And thank you for Laurence!” Sapphire chirped, holding up her moonkin toy. She then slipped out of his lap and ran back over to where Chompers was sitting in a pile of chew toys. Sapphire pointed at one. Chompers said something, and Sapphire then picked up the rubbery toy and started chewing on it like a dog. Or a gnoll. Chompers held open a children’s book, filled with bright colors. 

Ethan pulled out some new fur lined gloves and immediately put them on. He smiled brightly. His smile looked very much like his mother’s.

Winter’s Veil was not the worst holiday it seemed.

NoFacetober {8}

Previous: Day 7 

Pairing: Wizard Kim Seokjin x Witch Reader

Genre: Witch/Wizard AU, Angst, Haunted House

Rating: PG13

Warnings: Swearing! 

Word Count: 666 (I shit you not)

NOFACETOBER hosted by @bangtanbathhouse​

  Day 8 : Ooze

Master List

           The first room in the Haunted House arrests your senses. Pitch black save for the green magma oozing from crevices, the putrid scent of decay and embalming fluid you gag immediately. It’s disgusting, wading through what looks like toxic slush out of The Ear, The Eye and The Arm. Its glow is absolutely poisonous, neon and all consuming, everywhere you look the green goo flows. Clutching Seokjin’s hand, you’re unsure where to go, or what to look at. It’s then that the goop starts moving, at first sloshing back and forth, lapping at your legs and quickly dissipating. But it doesn’t stop, instead it grows stronger and stickier, crashing across your legs and working its way up your torso.

           “Is every room a different level of hell?” You ask.

           “Or a different deadly sin?”

           “Or someone’s worst nightmare?”

           “I don’t know!” Jin answers.

           The abject fear of drowning underneath the weight of the substance starts to weigh on all of you and is heightened as it begins dripping from the ceiling. You start to spin around, looking for any exit or way out of the mess, a lifeboat, a latch in the ceiling, anything. You left your wand at home, the directions on the tickets stating clearly that the only magic that’s allowed can be done before the Haunted House and after – but not within the confines of the library. That’s how people get into trouble, trying to do magic against whatever is happening around you.

           “Jin,” Your voice wavers.

           “I’m right here,” He coos.

           “Do you think this is all an optical illusion?”

           “It’s gotta be more than that,” Namjoon answers. He reaches his hand towards the mysterious, viscous liquid and lets it coat his hand.

           “I fucking hate this,” Jimin whines.

           “So, if I did this,” Taehyung takes a swipe of green and wipes it on Jimin’s shirt, where it burns a whole through his sweater.

           “Fuck. You.”

           “Something’s crawling up my leg!” Hoseok leans into Jungkook, practically hurtling his body onto him.

           “Nothing is crawling up your – oh my god,” Seokjin begins jumping around, shaking his legs and arms, pulling his limbs from your grasp. “What the fuck is that?”

           A booming voice descends upon the room, a riddle on its tongue.

Friends turned foe will not survive

For on envy and anger this room does thrive

Your fright is deeply premature

There are many more horrors you must endure

Stay the course and eventually you’ll be free

Try to leave early and or you’ll hear from me

Every horror your mind has barely given a thought

Will find and entangle you lest you get caught

Don’t let the colors and creatures fool you

Every year there’s a casualty or two

Be on your best behavior or meet an uncertain future

Loose lips sink ships, but witches and wizards will earn a suture

Your journey awaits – I hope you are prepared

Only the bravest creatures will be spared

           “What the fuck does that mean?” Jimin asks.

           “It means stop fighting, whatever it is isn’t important, but this place is sinister, and we have to stick together,” You snap. Your teacher hat is on, and it’s a good thing because the minute you finish, the voice is back.

           “Are you ready?”

           “Do we have to answer in rhyme?” Hoseok whispers.

           Jungkook laughs in response. “I don’t think so.”

           “Are you two going to get along?” You ask Jimin and Taehyung.

           The more you talk, the more the ooze recedes, its neon glow illuminates a path towards a door in the corner. But it flickers, brightening and disappearing. The scent is lessening too, the faint smell of rotting fruit breaking down with the ebbing green gunk. Your lungs are thankful, grateful the putrid scent isn’t wafting through your core. Staring at Taehyung and Jimin, your expression doesn’t give way to how glad you are that your space in this room of horror is over.

           “Fine,” Taehyung holds his hand out for Jimin to take. “Truce?”

Next: Day 9

1) WHAT DOES YOUR MUSE SMELL LIKE?  Agree on: Red wine; scotch; nice aftershave because he’s vain even though he wouldn’t admit it; leather.

Adding: During the Shady Plots days, the scent of the embalming fluids/chemicals would linger in the basement and Blaine hated it.

...and now meals are prepared in that basement.

2) HOW OFTEN DOES YOUR MUSE BATHE/SHOWER? Daily.

3) DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS? No piercings. No visible tattoos.

4) ANY BODY MOVEMENT QUIRKS (E.G. TAPPING HEEL, SHAKING KNEE)? Again, agreed on the aversion to touch. I’ve headcanon’d for years that Blaine has mild haphephobia and claustrophobia. If you touch him without warning/consent, he’ll flinch.

5) WHAT DO THEY SLEEP IN? It’s canon that he sleeps in the nude~ But we also saw that he’ll sleep in his boxers if he’s staying over somewhere else, cause he’s not gross.

6) WHAT’S THEIR FAVOURITE PIECE OF CLOTHING?   Nirvana shirt or leather jacket are good choices, but if they count, I’mma go with the leather bands/bracelets he often wears.

7) WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY WAKE UP? Sighs, showers, coffee/breakfast. A dollop of pomade in the hair.

8) HOW DO THEY SLEEP? POSITION? Varies, when he actually sleeps. He’s a light sleeper, when he actually sleeps. Which is why Don E. was so concerned after he injected himself with the cure.

9) WHAT DO THEIR HANDS FEEL LIKE?  Piano playing fingers~

TAGGED BY: @imanaquiredtaste

TAGGING: @steeledwill @tcmbraider and whoever else wants to~

Murderers W/ "Killer" Tattoos, Pt. 3: Nico Claux, "The Vampire of Paris". Born March 22, 1972, the self-styled 'Vampire of Paris ', Nico Claux seems to have always been obsessed with Death and the Occult. He began his dark journey as a young boy, exploring Parisian graveyards. As he grew older, Nico took this habit much further. He claims he began to break into crypts and mausoleums, even crafting a set of lock picks to aid in this endeavor. Becoming more frenzied and unable to quench his dark thirst, things progressed even more so... "I woke up one day feeling this sinister urge to dig up a corpse and mutilate it. I gathered a small crowbar, a pair of pliers, a screwdriver, black candles and a pair of surgical gloves in a backpack. Then I took the subway until the Trocadero station. It was nearly noon. The gates of the Passy Cemetery were wide open, but nobody was inside. The undertakers were out for lunch. "Passy is a small Gothic graveyard with plenty of huge mausoleums, which were built during the 19th century. It is located right between two large avenues, so it is impossible to climb inside at night. But anyway, nobody could ever imagine that there was someone robbing graves at noon. "I had this special grave in mind. It was a small mausoleum, the burial site of a family of Russian immigrants from the 1917 revolution. I had already pried open the iron door a few days before, and I had closed it afterwards so it would seem that nobody had ever touched it. All I had to do was kick it open ... At this point, my mind was in total chaos. I had flashes of death in my head. I took a deep breath, and I climbed down the steps leading to the crypt. "It was a rather small one, with damp walls, buried deep inside the cemetery ground. There was no other source of light than the candles I had brought. To begin, for more than an hour, I removed one of the heavy coffins from its stone casing. It was especially hard not to let the coffin fall all of sudden to the ground, but somehow I managed to slowly lay it down without making too much noise. However, one edge of the coffin scratched my lower leg when it touched the ground. But that didn't stop me at all. "I examined the casket for a while. It was solid oak and sealed with big screws. It looked like brand new, so I expected to find a recently deceased corpse. First, I unscrewed the coffin, which took me less than 10 minutes. Then I pried it open with the crowbar. Once opened, a horrible stench of putrefaction came out of the box. It smelled like Thanatyl, the product embalmers use on a corpse in order to delay the process of decay. "Then I saw the body inside. It was a half rotten old woman, shrouded in a white sheet, covered with brown stains. Her face seemed to be smeared with oil, but it was simply the death fluids oozing from her skin. The stench was so intense that I nearly fainted. I tried to lift one side of the sheet, but it was glued to her petrified skin. The teeth were protruding from the mouth, but her eyes were gone. I stared into the empty eye sockets, and all of a sudden something broke into my mind. I felt like I was falling into a whirlwind. "That's when I picked up a screwdriver. The corpse inside the coffin started to move slightly, like if it had guessed what would happen next. So I began to stab the belly, the rib area and the shoulders. I stabbed her at least 50 times. I really can't remember. All I can remember is that when I woke up my forearms were covered with corpse slime." This became routine for the Vampire. That is, until even corpse mutilation and grave robbing could no longer fill the void. Claux was eventually able to fulfill another of his dark fantasies by securing employment as a morgue attendant, where he was given access to a steady supply of cadavers. Part of his job was to sew the corpse back up after autopsies were preformed. While doing this he claims he was often left alone, which afforded him the opportunity to try something he'd longed for all his life: cannibalism. He would cut strips of meat from underneath the ribs of the freshly autopsied cadavers, which he would either eat raw or bring home with him in his backpack, to cook later. He also began stealing blood bags, which would be mixed with protein shakes and devoured. (The blood in the bags lacked plasma, and was thus extremely thin, so he had to thicken the beverage with protein shakes.) Perhaps, unsurprisingly, given his background, this too eventually was not enough for him. He needed something more. Something even... Darker. His ultimate unfulfilled fantasy was, of course, the murder of another human being. Using Minitel (an early, archaic version of the internet), he searched for the perfect victim. He met a homosexual man named Thierry Bissonier, and began chatting with him as if he was interested in romance. Thierry was quick to provide his killer with a home address. (Claux claims that conversations on Minitel were untraceable.) They met on October 4, 1994, and the rest, as they say, is (dark) history... "So I agreed on meeting Thierry around noon. With me I carried a single shot 22-caliber handgun, which I hid under my jacket. When I arrived at his place, a one-room apartment under the roof of an old building, I knocked on the door and gave him the fake first name that I had given him on Minitel. He opened the door, I stepped inside, quickly turned around while he was closing the door and pulled out the gun. "I looked at his face just as he turned his head towards me and saw the gun pointed at his eye. After a few awkward moments passed, I pulled the trigger. He instantly fell face down without a word. It was really eerie. It all happened like in slow motion. Then I watched him bleed on the carpet. Soon I decided to see what the apartment was like and wandered around a bit. "When I returned to where he was lying I observed that he was still moving and making horrible breathing noises on the floor, like if he was breathing through a straw. I reloaded the gun and shot again, this time striking him in the back of the head. I reloaded and fired a few more times, but he was still alive and making noise. I was surprised that he was still holding on, I had expected the first shot to kill him. "After a few minutes, I went into his kitchen and found some cookies to eat and then sat in a corner of the room and watched him as I ate. When I was finished, I decided to get out of there quickly, so I shot him one last time in the back. I also lifted a huge plant container and smashed it on his head, crushing it some. I then wiped down my fingerprints; picked up his checkbook; a credit card and a wallet (with ID papers); his driving license; an alarm clock, and an answering machine, and finally left the scene." Nico Claux was arrested on November 15, 1994, after attempting to forge one of his victim's stolen checks in order to purchase a VCR. He tried to splice his own photograph onto Bissonnier's driver's license, which was immediately obvious to the store clerk. Claux absconded, but was tracked down in front of the world famous Moulin Rouge cabaret, following an argument with a woman. When confronted with the evidence against him, he quickly confessed and was sentenced to 12 years in prison, of which he served only 7 years and four months. He was released March 22, 2002, and to this day is a free man. Nico still earns his living as a morgue attendant, and in his free time, has established himself as a talented artist who paints dark subjects such as serial killers, corpses, and occult icons. For all intents and purposes, he seems to have shed his criminal life, though it goes without saying that his macabre interests haven't vanished.

Bag of Bones: A Short story

October 21 2004, Escondido California Hi, I'm Mark I'm 24 years old and i work the dayshift at the 7-11 down on Washington blvd Pretty average guy, I've got a cute girlfriend (Shelly) a steady job and a decent amount of friends It was the weekend, I had the day off so i wanted to do something fun with the ladyfriend and my buddies. Since it's October loads of spookhouses open all around town, but if you've seen one you've seen them all...yet... There was one that claimed to be from Europe and was supposed to be so scary that one girl died from a heart attack; And apparently that's why they had to leave europe because of lawsuits and what not. It was called Deus in Absentia. Now i had no knowledge of this place until my buddy David kept bugging me about it. As much as i groaned he was relentless in getting me to go, i finally caved. I told Shelly about and she wasn't too thrilled about it but said to me "If it's just us and David, I'm not going; Let's call Rachel and Sandra" I agreed and replied "That would be cool but those two lovebirds are always busy". "True, but it's been a long time since any of us hung out anymore; Let me call them hang on" She said to me. As the phone rang Shelly sat at the table waiting for someone to pickup. "It's ringing" She said to me in a hushed tone. "Oh hey Sandy! how are you guys?!" Shelly said gleefully. "We are doing great, Rachel is finishing up some cross stitch and i am just playing some video games, how are you and Mark doing?" "Fantastic, thank you for asking. But the reason i am calling is Me and Mark and his buddy David are going to that new Haunted house later tonight and we wanted to invite you to come with!" "That sounds awesome! Let me ask Rachel if she's down to check it out, hold on a sec." Shelly turned to me holding the receiver to her chest and said again in hushed tone "She's asking Rach" "Oh hey you're back!" Shelly Said to Sandra. "Yeah, so i talked to Rachel and we would love to tag along!" "Great! Everyone is meeting up at my place at 6pm, see you guys soon!" "Ok be there with bells on!" A few hours past and everyone met up at me and Shelly's Apartment. Then we headed out. David was being his usual obnoxious self, but he brought a joint for us to share on the way there. Since i was driving i had to stay sober, small price to pay i guess When we arrived there it was out in Rincon which is a rural area west of San Diego proper. There was this huge complex with smoke machines and flashing lights everywhere. And giant sign that read "DEUS IN ABSENTA" "YOU'LL NEVER BE THE SAME AFTER!" There was a man dressed a priest with skull makeup on is face with a top hat and a cane going off like a carnival barker. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I AM YOUR HOST FOR THIS EVENING" He said enthusiastically "MY NAME IS PAPA DAEMONICA AND ONCE YOU ENTER OUR LOVELY ESTABLISMENT YOU BECOME A CHANGED PERSON!" "ALL YOUR WORRIES, WOES AND MALCONTENTS WILL BE WIPED FROM YOUR PATHETIC TROUBLESOME EXISTANCE!" "SO STEP RIGHT UP, STEP RIGHT UP!" David turned to me and said "This joker looks like something out of a cheesy rock band" After paying our tickets. we stood in line. The weird thing is, There was no screaming.. like at all. Normally you hear screaming at these places. This one was off for some reason. Even stranger was the people marching single file after they exited the maze. It was finally our turn up to bat and we were allowed in. The moment we walked in Shelly grabbed my arm and Sandra grabbed Rachel's David just sighed and shook his head. It started out fine, the usual stuff of people in cages and fake bodies and demonic rituals everywhere The girls were scared shitless but me and David laughed it off. That was until we wound up in a new room. and once again we met our friend Papa Daemonica. This room was vastly different from the others. It was small. With no bodies or anything scary really just white and lit with florescent buzzing lights. "Welcome to the midway point of Deus in Absentia" said Papa "Here you will witness your greatest fears and regrets laid before you." "Please gaze into the provided penny machines provided by our lovely staff" So we did just that.As i placed a penny in the machine these images started passing me and that's when i saw it. The one memory i had tried to suppress since i was a kid. He never bothered my sister. Only me. Bastard is dead now. Burning hell i hope. I tried to pull away from the machine. my face was stuck to the old timey movie machine I could everyone around screaming and sobbing as they relived they're own personal hell again and again. This went on for about 10 minutes or so. Shelly and the rest of my friends along with everyone else in the room demanded to leave. Papa just stood there grinning. And in a calm casual demeanor said "Congratulations on the first challenge, there are three more in store for you. Then the lights went out and before we had a chance to ask him how he knew all of this. He was gone and even more strange so was the door. I held Shelly as she sobbed into my arms, my other friends looking even more terrified then everyone else in the room. When the lights came on again an entrance to another room opened. Once again Papa was there to greet us. This room had a church theme to it with a statue of Baphomet in the middle of it and an altar with a dagger for each of us. "Welcome to church my little bone bags!" As i stared into his eyes, there was something odd. His pupils were black as pitch and deep as an ocean. He smelled of Sulfur and embalming fluid. He said to us. "Now it's time to act as one for the greater good. "You are all going to offer blood to Satan to complete the ritual to move on to the next room" At this point we are all furious and wanting to leave LET US OUT! everyone cried with a sorrowful tone. "If the chalice isn't full or someone refuses to partake in the ritual, the penalty is death". "FOR EVERYONE" As he said that His voice changed it got significantly deeper as we all watched his body twist and contort into unnatural ways and angles. HE... HE WAS CHANGING INTO SOMETHING A.. A DEMON HE STOOD THERE BEFORE US, CLOVEN HOOVES, HORNS AND WINGS Some started praying, thinking it would help them. To which he shouted DEUS IN ABSENTIA THE ABSENCE OF GOD YOUR GOD CANNOT HEAR YOU HERE. GIVE OF YOUR BLOOD OR PERISH And we did just that. And we were lead into another room after the ritual. just a row of chairs The beast screamed SIT! GOOD DOGS in front of us were small circular tables. Were we presented a wine glass. POUR THEM A DRINK We were then poured a black liquid. Blacker then anything I've ever seen. Then people started to panic Started to attempt to run away. Shelly couldn't take it anymore and tried to run into the door from the last room. Papa grabbed by the face with his massive claw. I got up to try to help her. GET UP AND YOU'RE NEXT He shouted to me. He then proceeded to CRUSH HER SKULL IN FRONT OF ME. It exploded and the bits of head scattered all around the room. I stood there in shock as the love of my life was then devoured whole by this creature. It unhinged it's jaw and proceeded to eat her in one gulp. I DON'T QUITE CARE FOR ITALIAN. NOT BAD THOUGH. I'm screaming and so is everyone else in the room. DRINK AND YOU LIVE So we did. that's when i felt it This alien force inside me IT WAS ERASING ME FROM THE INSIDE OH GOD WHAT'S HAPPENING SOMEBODY HELP IT HURTS AHHGK...cough....MAKE IT STOP My eyes starting oozing black liquid i was coughing blood. And then. I saw myself Outside of my body Did i just die? Wait... what's happening now It's getting hot I see flames I'M IN HELL OH GOD I DON'T DESERVE THIS So after a lovely evening me and the rest of my compatriots left the silly haunted house we had a nice dinner. So anyway i'm Mark.. Or what's left of him anyway. It was nice talking to you.

There but also for the Grace of God go I ... Quit Smoking Cigarettes

God Provided for Me What I Might Refrain For Myself I do not remember exactly just what day I started cigarette smoking, however I do keep in mind the day that I give up smoking as if it were the other day. At about ten years of age, started giving the cold shoulder like grown up ups with a pair good friends by acting as though we smoked by rolling up dried yard grass from backyards and the Merrill Park in the Jeffery Estate at Chicago, Illinois. We likewise tried smoking dried tree leaves rolled up inside note pad paper, keying paper, old Chicago Transportation Authority transfer price paper, torn web pages from a phone book or whatever was available. Trying to imitate my father, cousins, other grownups, flicks celebrities, soldiers, cowboys, artists, ruffians, crooks, good guys and other heroes that smoked cigarettes. I guess it was cool and glamorous when they inhaled/exhaled smoke in their lungs. It made them look smarter and in control. I did unknown how you can smoke whatsoever. I simply puffed and coughed from the burning feeling that I felt in my chest and lungs. It was awfully excruciating! Someday a friend swiped an open pack from his mommy and we attempted to smoke a genuine cigarette. I believe it was either Benson & Hedges or Virginia Slims cigarettes. By the way, we found out that a cigarette is likewise called a "square". We almost obtained broken since my good friend's mother found out her cigarettes were missing and it looked like difficulty was coming quickly. Somehow I dodged that bullet. If you ask me today, after that I desire I had been busted so I might be penalized. And at that time we used to get beatings for disobedience and doing incorrect. Today it is called child abuse. I believe that is just what's wrong with this world today. Save the rod; ruin the child. I needed an oppress just on General Practitioner alone. Time passed and I learned to smoke the genuine McCoy, cigarettes fresh out the pack or crush-proof box! Newport brand name cigarettes, an eye-catching green square designed pack or box with the upside Nike swoosh on the front tag and the doctor general's warning on the side, to be precise. Twenty, filtered menthol cigarettes, jam packed with pure nicotine, tar, embalming fluid and couple hundred even more tasty low-dosed poisonous deadly poisons. I discovered how to hold the cigarette like a genuine guy should. I held the square in between my forefinger and center finger with a minor curve on the pull, like a trendy method of holding a swimming pool stick at a speak-easy pool hall, tavern, bar or a club. I was cool at 12 years of ages. Stunting my growth and development already. It took me a pair days to find out precisely how to breathe in smoke without choking. And certainly, I did choke. I got light-headed and woozy at first of my 24-year life sentence as a smoker of cigarettes. That light-headedness made me really feel relaxed after appreciating a revitalizing cigarette. Oh, I did not differentiate initially. I smoked various brand names without prejudice. For instance, Kools, Marlboroughs, Salems, Players, Camels, and Viceroys (the brand that helped to give my papa emphysema and cancer), oh well, whatever, don't bother. Place it in this manner, if you had a cigarette, I would probably smoke it without hesitation. I was amazing, calm and collected, an in control smoker. I mean I was bad, the best of the very best, top feline, cool, could you dig it man. (So I assumed). Constantly coughing up cold. Spewing hockers ranging from beige to yellow, to tawny, to brownish and green, orange and red and the occasional black hocker. In some cases getting a solid chuck that appears like a broken sunflower seed that has an odor worse than Rex the pet's breath on a hot and humid day in Maywood, Illinois in the month of July. Cigarettes were cheap to redeem in the day. I imply the very early 1980's when I began cigarette smoking. They were basically concerning 75cents a pack. I heard in the military, they had to do with $7 for a container of 20 packs of squares at that time, in the very early 80's. It just really did not set you back that much to eliminate on your own at that time. Now the price of living is high and the cost of dying is higher. My oldest bro and I made use of to hang out at a close friends house. There we were enabled to smoke, drink and hear loud songs in his basement. At home, we concealed our bad smoking behavior by sticking our heads out of the shower room window while cigarette smoking. We utilized air fresher and aerosol hairspray to kill the smell of cigarette smoke. Who were we fooling? One snowy evening, in the winter of 1982-83, my bro and walked down the opportunity where we lived, to smoke cigarettes. My mother, for some reason, unlock, overlooked the street, just as my bro was taking a couple of passionate drags, on a fresh lit Newport 100 cigarette. She came out your home and saw him smoking cigarettes. I practically got busted that day due to the fact that I was nearly to pull my cigarettes out my pocket. Well, just say that at some point I admitted to my habit of smoking cigarettes around that time additionally. My mommy told us not to smoke around her or in her house, period. She was extremely dissatisfied in us yet she knew that it was primarily absolutely nothing she can do since we allowed young boys and officially addicted to breathing in pure nicotine, tar and regarding 400 other reduced dose toxins. Lack of breath, poor colds and flu signs, yellow-colored (casket) finger nails, eyes looking lowly and poorly lit up were indicators of the unhealthy element of cigarette smoking cigarettes. I apparently enjoyed cigarettes and it was a marital relationship of benefit that maintained us together as one. Enough stated for the magnificence of cigarette smoking cigarettes. I make use of to always brush my teeth, utilize mouthwash, eat periodontal, and utilize a breath mint or spray or something prior to I kissed her, if I smoked. Back to Eco-friendly Bay, the people I was going to discovered out that I was a young boy smoking cigarettes, after attempting to hide it and cover it up from them. I had a fresh addiction to pure nicotine flowing with my veins and I craved for a cigarette after that delicious meal. As time passed, year progressed. The very same thing, I smoked after consuming food, drinking alcohols, drinking coffee, drinking sodas and particularly drinking extremely caffeinated colas. I smoke when I felt happy, unfortunate, upset, or just to be smoking a cigarette to have something to do like individuals who play baseball, a hobby. Even when a person ticked me off, when troubles and difficulty came up, prior to and after relieving myself, I needed to smoke one more cigarette. That is the plain truth. And it's somethen rong with that said pickture! I keep in mind attempting to quit on and off without success whatsoever. I would give up a day or two, a week or so and "bam!" I was back at it once again, "Smokin'!" It was off to the races once again, baby. Addicted to nicotine. You see, as the years took place, I ended up being adverse canines, cats, dust, plant pollen and grasses. I later created respiratory disease. I question did smoking have something to do with my developing these health problems. Hmm. I question ... Well, anyway, I remain in my mid-30's. I am now a little older and I think a tad bit wiser. I no longer need to look great, give the cold shoulder and think that I'm great, in order to be amazing. In some cases in order to be awesome, you have to be unpleasant. You will certainly shock your buddies and perplex your opponents. I felt like Pavlov's canine when it came to smoking cigarettes. I also began to keep in mind when my mom usage to state that "I do not intend to use anything that has that much power over me." Yes, zigaretten bestellen was right and basically said" I am powerless over cigarettes." Till I understood the reality in that statement, I would probably have actually smoked for the rest of my all-natural life. It is not so much as the physical dependence of pure nicotine or cigarettes however the mental reliance triggered by my thinking and the pressure of habitual reasoning and acting on the thought of literally craving nicotine. And the very best means I can obtain my nicotine solution was to discharge up a cigarette and breathe in the smoke. If I do not pick up the cigarette, after that I will certainly not smoke. A few months ago, one night I had actually awakened really early, like 3am. Immediately, I got the thought to list all the pros and cons of smoking cigarettes. Besides looking cool, which is a lie, I might not discover one good need to smoke cigarettes. I have some pretty good reasons I should not smoke, though. I generated over 35 reasons. Below are some reasons that I need to stop smoking cigarettes from the top of the list. 1. Quiting smoking now lowers your possibilities of obtaining throat cancer, lung cancer cells, emphysema, bronchial asthma, allergies, bronchitis, colon or stomach cancer cells and various other serious illness. 2. Expecting women decrease the possibilities of having losing the unborn baby, or a child born with birth defects. 3. Cough much less and have less colds and flu symptoms. 4. Breathe better, more openly and quickly. 5. Expectation on life will improve. 6. Run, walk and climb stairs with much less initiative. 7. Smile wider with brighter eyes. 8. Psychological eagerness and performance boosts substantially. 9. Hair, skin, teeth and finger nails smell and look far better. 10. You will certainly save a great deal of money. Just read the side of a pack of cigarettes. Yes, he smoked cigarettes, experienced the repercussions and died too soon. One day, while I was speaking with a great buddy concerning his just recently stopping smoking cigarettes.

The Answers to These Funeral Questions Will Leave You ROFL

Yahoo Answers is an online forum for people to ask and answer questions. These questions can be about anything and everything. The “best answer” is determined by the user who asked the question. They judge answers on relevance and helpfulness. Those answering are not always reliable or qualified to answer certain questions. People have so many questions about funeral homes and services they provide. When they turn to a website that doesn’t always provide the most credible responses, they are getting misleading information.

Below are the top funeral questions asked on Yahoo Answers accompanied by the ‘Best Answer’ determined by the asker of the question. #SMH

1. “Why do funeral home directors drive so slowly?”

Best Answer: So the coffin doesn’t come flying out and a body after it.

By: Lauren F

2. How to do a funeral for myself at home?

Best Answer: If you are serious, and I really doubt that you are, it’s against the law to have a body in your house, yours or anyone else’s, and talk about morbid.

By: irishlady

3. Do funeral homes still put makeup on the bodies?

Best Answer: They do put makeup on. It’s not like fashion makeup, more like stage makeup. The faces would look totally gross without it.

By: Godless

4. How can you make embalming fluid?

Best Answer: You plan on embalming someone?

By: !XTORT!

5. Why do funeral homes usually have so many rooms and look like big creepy mansions?

Best Answer: You realize many of those rooms are for various usages, right?

By: Bones, Reaupurr Kitten

6. Why do funeral homes smell so good?

Best Answer: I work in one and the easy answer is because there’s like 700 flowers people bring.

By: ThinkAboutIt

7. Does decaf coffee contain embombing fluid?” (Yes, that is how they spelled “embalming”)

Best Answer: None of the chemicals are used in embalming fluid.

By: wardofthestate

8. Why do funeral homes put under garments on the deceased?

Best Answer: Would you go anywhere without socks and underwear? No.

By: Reagan

9. Is it weird if I go to my boyfriend’s grandma’s calling hours?

Best Answer: You’re over-thinking it.

By: ?

10. Why do funeral homes put the blood of dead people in sewers?

Best Answer: There is no reason for it not to go down the sewer, it is completely safe. They use chlorine at water treatment plant, that would kill everything.

By: Reagan

  The Answers to These Funeral Questions Will Leave You ROFL published first on YouTube