still not over gideon'manticisms. she handwrote that shirt herself

Palamedes, did you know that if you took the first three letters of your last name and first three letters of your first name you get SEX PAL?

Love the fact that Tamsyn Muir made the main group the 6th and 9th house, really sets the tone for the book.

token art for some of my characters and other pcs that i dm for

émilien - gay-ass tiefling rogue who flirts so much you’d think he was a bard

marion - mysterious bard who has big mommy vibes and real gazongas

wujid - orc fighter who’s an absolute extra as hell buffoon

rhys - wood elf druid baby who’s over a century old and is just a creature

xena - fairy fighter and total sweetheart who’s on a bloody path to vengeance

BAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

my roommate (who hasn’t slept in over 24 hours) looks at me and with full confidence goes: “i didn’t realize patrick mahomes was the quarterback for the 69ers”

i was like WOAH- the 69ers?😭😭

my response: “you mean the 49ERS? and he plays for the chiefs”😭😭

I WAS CACKLING

okay im out

solo dirt church sunday

old 69ers doodle <3

When i steal from other peoples houseparties its funny. When someone takes zlatan ibrahamstervich home with them thats a violation :(

shortass

break day

Savant

It just didn't make any sense. My friend Kiki was SUCH an airhead. She could barely choose which panties she wanted to wear in the morning; often she was so indecisive she never put any on. Her focus was short and easily distracted by anything shiny, which was tough because she loved wearing jewelry. I swear she'd forget her hair if they weren't long blonde extensions attached to her silly little head.

All that was adorable...but also reeeeeeally annoying. Because besides looking amazing all the time, Kiki was incredible at one thing: fantasy football. I considered myself a football fanatic but every year her picks put my team to shame. Of course I was happy for her and proud. But there's only so many times you can hear, "OMG I won?!?!? No waaaaayyyyy! Yay!" from a giggly bimbo before you start to question the meaning of life and why you bother trying so hard at fantasy games.

I've accepted that she's a savant. But I tried to learn from her...and got even more frustrated. She doesn't watch the games! I tried once with her and she spent the entire time twirling her hair or getting distracted from the screen by looking down at her huge boobies. She also doesn't even really know the teams. There's 'the orange kitty kats!' and 'the Tenny-see Titties!' and the 'the 69ers!'. I'd swear she was messing with me if she didn't look and act so honestly sweet and innocent all the time.

There's also no rhyme or reason to her thinking. For a draft strategy Kiki might pick a player 'cuz he's dating a totes cute celebrity!'. Sometimes she likes the team's uniform colors or mascot. Or even just because his name makes her giggle. It's all vibes with her and I can do nothing I can do but smile and shake my head.

Eventually we struck a deal. She would teach me which players to pick and how to think. I'd use that in other leagues to make money. Soon I was rolling in prize money and spending it all on her turning her into a bigger bimbo. Because she earned it and somehow it's making her better at these games. Besides, if I've learned anything from these lessons, a bimbo like Kiki is the best fantasy trophy anyone could ever hope to celebrate with.

dreamies fav positions?

any and all ..

(idk correct names so im just gonna describe lol)

mark is a soft lover boy so he’s doing missionary but,, loves when you ride him so you can moan into his ear

renjun when soft ,, spooning for sure but when being rough he’d take you from behind and tug your hair back

my man jeno idk what this is called but receiver if on their back but their hips are twisted sideways so he can grab your ass and your tits while he sees your face ,,, also anytime he can blow your back out

don’t even get me started on hyuck and mating press,,, RUFF RUFF (i’m feral for him) also think he would be into you riding (OBV) AND 69 he’s def a 69er

jaemin needs to flex (literally) his strength so if he’s holding you up (full nelson) or he’s really sensual and soft think kneeling behind you and holding you close whispering and caressing

chenle needs to see your face bc he gets off on your reactions,, so anything where he sees you but especially when your on your back and your legs are on his shoulders and he can manipulate and fold you in any direction

in the beginning jisung is very vanilla very basic missionary maybe doggy if he’s crazy,, but overtime he gets adventurous and bends you like a pretzel i think he would be on google like “positions to spice up your sex life” and go from there lol

Naughty girls are the best girls!!

33 male here, my wife’s niece (21) and a few of her friends come over every weekend to swim if the weather is nice. She has a key so we don’t need to be there.

My wife was out of town with her friend who was going through a divorce one weekend when the girls came over. I made them dinner and they swam for hours. They sleep in the spare room if they drink or just want to stay.

In the middle of the night I got up to get something to drink. Walk into the living room to find the two friends completely naked 69ing each other. I apologized walking in on them as they both were shocked and frozen. I went back to my room and a few minutes later one of the girls came in. Still naked. She begged me not to tell my niece what I saw. I told her I wouldn’t. She crawled into bed and began to make out with me. Wasn’t long till I was inside of her. As she rode me, she confessed to being bi and a fantasy of fucking me and ducking her friend. She said since she fucked her friend already it was my turn.

The next weekend they came over we were alone in the kitchen. She was rubbing my crotch and told me she was fucking my niece tonight. Kissed me and walked away.

Customer: LAST NAME FAVORITE NUMBER DMV: 69ER - SEXUAL; can’t see ANI Verdict: DENIED

oh! and the first Freyde I completed, back when I was still using SAI