okay i think maybe my relationship is like. rescueable as long as i stop!! doing!! fucked up!! shit!! like apparently my irl communication skills are not at all like. refined?? i guess?? so ive done like rly fucking inexcusable stuff twice (laughing at her when she said something serious (worst thing ive ever done that will haunt me forever), calling her girlfriend a terf and then going on an extremely defensive rant abt transmeds without giving her any opportunity to talk (second worst thing ive ever done i don't even think her girlfriend is a terf!! i never have!! i got very carried away and that will also haunt me forever) (second worst bc i had literally any explanation for my behavior whatsoever like still absolutely fucking inexcusable but the first one was like what the actual fuck there is zero reason that is ever appropriate and the second one was like. i got carried away abt something that is actually upsetting to me but it was not an appropriate way to deal with or engage that conversation whatsoever)). so i have to make sure that i don't fucking pull that shit again. im going to try to be rly conscious abt like. staying calm during important conversations bc i think that's part of the issue. i don't like reign my shit in and think abt what's appropriate and i have to be careful to do that. i can absolutely have proper appropriate conversations abt important things (and we have done that) i just need to focus on. only doing that. like that's abt moderating my tone and keeping an eye on my emotions and if im getting too upset / defensive (and i told her that if i ever fucking do that rly defensive thing again she can just tell me to stop and i will and won't be upset. i usually don't realize im doing it (part of the problem)). so im going to try to be really careful abt that bc i think the only way to rebuild that trust is going to be to just. not do anything like that again.

and then second thing is that i don't initiate enough so im going to work on dealing w my anxiety and just. doing things. and we talked abt what she's okay w me initiating in public (bc i know im okay with more than she is, so i was letting her initiate which i did tell her but now i have guidelines so i can also initiate) and now that we've had that conversation i think ill be able to deal with some of my anxiety by being like. no u should do/say that to a) show u can initiate and ur listening and b) show that u want stuff and ur into this.

so that's the big stuff. communicating appropriately (or more importantly not saying or doing rly inappropriate fucked up shit) and initiating more. and being rly fucking grateful she's giving me a chance to fix stuff / improve. also i told her to stop implying i can't consent bc like wtf but i think the initiating will help with that too.

also im going to ask my roommate (who has known me irl for 2 years) if there's any other like. shitty communication stuff she's noticed that i should keep an eye on. so far its managing tone and emotions.

two hugs; years apart. (or a monday and a friday.)

"STOP TAKING THE HEALTH KITS"

He ubered the scout after this.

Additional sketches and some ramblings under the cut.

This is based on an encounter I had the other day, when a demoman took a medkit before my medigun connected with him. When he saw my health was down to 21, he would force me to stand at the spawn point and guarded me until I was healed. Wherever you are now, if you read this, you were a good lad and I love you.

Sometimes I think about how medic is emotionally very invested in the missions (which shows in his voice when he shouts at his team), but off-duty and during friendly taunts he seems to be among the most giggly, and fun-loving mercenaries in the team. I like to think he can get agitated very fast, but cools down just as quickly.

redraw of this @ponymagnets post

kiss from an angel of death

i really hope 2 finish this painting one day but i just have not been able to get around to it even though i do like how its turning out haha

(yes, i know than's costume should be flipped so what i drew on the right is on the left, i plan on flipping the composition and fixing stuff from there, bc i dont want the wing pauldron covering their faces teehee)

We could have had it all...

[First] Prev <–-> Next

10 minute Frye sketch that took 50 minutes

for the record even if ganondorf is irredeemably evil and tries to kill everyone i’ll still support him. he’s my boo. my cinnamon apple. my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy. he’s my babygirl, the apple of my eye, the reason i get up in the mornings. my forever galpal.

rq for more pikmin pleaseeee ..... urs were so cute

thank uuuu!! love these creatures

if it has not been suggested already and you are okay with drawing it-- maybe Odile teaching Bonnie how to make onigiri??

the duo ever!!

Honestly, Bdubs and Ethos relationship then vs now? Someone better feel remorse!

Consider, my friend: Bdubs and Etho’s relationship in the future :]

Part 1 (You are Here — Sorry for the abrupt cut/short length with this one! I assure you there is much more to be revealed in part 2 ;-])

Part 2

One of the most heartbreaking things to me this season has been how through the revelations about him participating in the cruel initiation culture, Erik has in a way died a second time for Wille 😭

maggie ref! remastering this sketch from july 2023

the vanity angles don't make it a more useful reference but i enjoyed drawing it 🤣

thoughts and feelings on Neomuna and the Cloudstriders?

it's been a minute since i ran lightfall so i went back through ishtar to read up and here's what i've got: I think they mirror the guardians in a really interesting way. While being granted the light is functionally random and not something the lightbearer in question has a say in (as they're usually dead), becoming a cloudstrider is an entirely voluntary process (with perhaps the exception of the first cloudstrider, who acquired her abilities accidentally). There's also mentions of cloustriders being vetted, meaning that the decision to become a cloudstrider is not purely up to the individual but rather the community, which is interesting when placed in contrast to how ghosts just kind of.. pick a corpse based on vibes and hope things turn out ok. Also the whole "ten years and then your body rapidly decays around you" thing versus being able to die ad infinitum (assuming nothing happens to your ghost). Also cloudstriders on their own are fascinating too. Deliberately sacrificing not only your life but, to an extent, your ability to be and act like a person is wild. From the Cloud Strider Legacies lorebook:

"You don't die after ten years. You die the second you gulp your first breath with those new nanite-enhanced lungs. You don't get to be human anymore. Not with this kind of power. You don't get foibles or fears or wants. You're an ideal.

You need to be the best things about this city—the kindness, the empathy, the courage—and you give up the luxury of weakness."

(also not to get back on the comparison train but the whole thing about becoming a cloudstrider being a death in and of itself versus resurrection being the first memory a guardian has.) Also I like Nimbus, and I hope we'll be able to give them cookies next dawning.

i find it insane but admirable how u managed to make a2 look like a puppy dog of a man but at the same time i just know if he were real and i were ever to have a conversation with him i'd walk away with rancid milk vibes from the interaction . Just so deeply off-put and unsettled . it would bring about the eternal damnation in my mind of all blonde men on account of being total freaks . Seeing a1 next to him would not help dissuade me from this idea

he was engineered for this exact reaction hehe