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eureka-its-zico · 27 days

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A Body of Stars

Ongoing series

Synopsis: With a galaxy at war, it’s hard to distinguish the stars from the metal of UNSC ships. You were told about the war that waged between the UNSC and insurrectionists; your planet opposing them since you were born. Your enemy was meant to be the UNSC and the Spartans they created, specifically John-117 - the Master Chief. Except, all isn’t as black and white as you were raised to believe, and the galaxy holds secrets far darker than you could’ve imagined.

Pairing: John - 117 x F!Reader

Genre: enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers, slow burn, eventual smut, Halo TV series/Mass Effect mashup

Warnings: mentions of war, violence

Word count: 11.7k

A/N: Alright. As hyper fixations go, the Halo series (and let’s be real, Pablo is a menace) has my ass in a chokehold. That being said, season 2 was amazing and made me want to work on a small fic that blended the series and my love of BioWare’s Mass Effect. Mass Effect is my favorite sci-fi space game about galactic war, friendship, love, sacrifice. I could rant but I won’t. There will be mentions of certain ME things in here, like the reader having biotics, to go along with the lore of the halo series. So, without further ado: its back story time. I hope someone out there enjoys this and as always, thank you for reading 🖤 much love, Jenn

Year: 2521

•Shadow Sea cluster•

•Lera system•

Destination: Laconix

ETA: 13 hours

The Midsummer Night came out of slip space without a hitch.

Not that he’d been worried. It was one of the few things that Captain Jacob Keyes hadn’t worried about during this current mission. What, or rather who, currently worried him was standing less than ten yards from him and came in the form of his ex-wife. He risked a glance where Dr. Catherine Halsey was hunched over with her nose deep inside another holopad.

Those holopads had been one of the many reasons why their marriage fell apart.

There was no doubting the brilliance her work contributed to the scientific field or the war effort. All of her research was the stepping stone humanity needed in terms of augmentation and the human genome. The contributions Halsey and her Spartans made towards this never-ending battle against the covenant saved lives, but, and it was a big but, Jacob knew that Halsey’s methods were questionable, at best. Hell, he’d been a part of those questionable decisions, driving the helm, while she did what she deemed was necessary.

Vital.

So, Jacob Keyes knew without her ever having to say a word that something was off. The Midsummer Night and the Pegasus holding Halsey’s darling Spartain-III’s were meant to go for a routine extraction. Intel indicated one of the leaders in the insurrectionist rebel groups, Kahn Montrello, was located on a planet within the Lera system of the Shadow Sea cluster. It was a typical snatch-and-grab unless they were met with resistance.

Halsey requesting to tag along was more than just a surprise. It was suspicious. Jacob knew Halsey didn’t do anything without purpose.

“Tell me again why you’ve insisted on inserting yourself into a routine mission dealing with insurrectionists?”

Halsey hadn’t even looked up from the damn holopad to acknowledge he’d walked over.

“I’m just here to gather some data while the Silver Team is dispatched to help your marines on the ground.”

Jacob’s boots scuffed against the metal of the bridge as he moved closer to her. His eyes on Catherine’s back - willing her to turn, to acknowledge him - as her gaze held tightly to the readings she’d taken from a tablet from her lab. The data was transferred to the larger scale computer in the bridge’s main console. Halsey’s eyes roaming endlessly through data Jacob himself knew he’d never understand without her help.

“Come on, Catherine. That may be the bullshit you fed Parangosky and the other admirals, but don’t feed me the same lies and expect it to go down smoothly.”

Halsey broke away for the briefest millisecond from whatever data she was reading. Her eyes skimmed over him before returning back to what was more important.

Research in the name of human exploration always was.

“It’s not bullshit. Data collected in the field is highly valuable for furthering my research; proof to Parangosky the Spartan research is worth her continued funding.”

“That’s a nice speech, Catherine, but I know that any collected data during the mission is recorded and sent back to your lab for analysis. So, when are you going to start telling me something honest?”

Honesty.

Asking Halsey to be anything other than secretive was like asking a tiger to get rid of its stripes. Jacob knew even if she told him - really shared - it still wouldn’t be all of the actual information. Key pieces of information - the most valuable - would be forever stored within her; leverage for another day.

Whatever it was she could see on those holopads had her sky blue eyes wide in excitement. Halsey wouldn’t be able to contain it - hide it - for much longer. If the small rise at the corner of her mouth was any indication, all Jacob needed to do was push a little further. Find the right words to spark a rush of hypotheticals that might turn out to hold some truth. If she didn’t crack yet, it would take one more well-placed question and she would cave.

“Jacob,” her voice was breathy, tinged with unrestrained joy. “I think I found something.”

“What are you talking about, Catherine? Found something?”

More cryptics. More hoops.

A sigh heavy with years of fights - conflicts - departed his lips and Halsey rushed to recover some ground. Her body quickly took back the space he left to place her hand gently on his bicep. The grip was soft but demanding that he stay close; pleading with him not to pull away.

Halsey needed him.

“A few weeks ago the UNSC sent over old documents from companies they’d disassembled. Conatix was one of them.”

It wasn’t hard to spot the confusion that deepened the lines in the crease of Jacob’s forehead and scrunched up his nose. His eyes roamed her face searching for a tell, but if Halsey had one she’d never show it.

“Conatix was an old UNSC factory that produced our warships-“

“Yes, I know.”

“Why would you be interested in anything about warships?”

Halsey scanned the room to make sure no one was watching - no eyes lingering on the two of them - before she directed her attention back to him. The caution that darkened her eyes shifted with a spark Jacob knew all too well.

Halsey had found something. Really found something.

“Usually, nothing of value would be of interest in old documents and schematics for warships but, while scrolling through the files I stumbled upon an encrypted file.”

“UNSC documentation is always encrypted when it’s being shipped out to-“

“To be destroyed, yes I already know that, Jacob,” Halsey cut in. Her body directed back towards the holopad that she carefully picked up. Her fingers darted across the screen hunting for the files in question. “But this was different. It wasn’t schematics or calculations - it was redacted - sealed documents about an incident.”

No sooner had she started Halsey was finished. Her hand reached out to give him the holopad and waited patiently for him to take it.

“Go ahead.”

Jacob looked around the ship's bridge to make sure no one was watching. He needed to be careful, not necessarily for Halsey’s sake, but for that of his crew. He should’ve known - did know - Halsey had a habit, a bad one, to go above the chain of command to get what she wanted. That leverage she saved for a rainy day coming in hot to throw around pawns and pieces as she saw fit to get her way.

Cautiously, Jacob secured the holopad from her and started looking at the documents, or what little he could see. Almost with every swipe all he saw were broken links and documents with holes of information missing. Sentences that formed into two words with the rest gone or replaced by shapes and numbers. An elaborate break in the code.

“I was able to decipher most of them. Get back what information they tried to hide-“

“Catherine,” he whispered her name in warning, not for himself, but for her.

“Jacob - this wasn’t about warships or weapons or schematics. Something happened. A ship they’d used with element zero - eezo - had leaked out over a few colonies. A hole in one of the port engines that wasn’t caught in time.”

“Catherine,” Jacob pleaded again, “This isn’t news or anything that concerns you or me.”

Halsey wasn’t going to back down. He knew she wouldn’t. Not when the sheer joy of finding something undiscovered was close. The science behind furthering human evolution. The moment he realized what this was - what he held in his hands - Jacob knew his eyes were saucers. The sudden shock of realization stunning him to the spot.

“Children, Jacob,” Halsey practically laughed. “The pregnant mothers who were infected by the particles gave birth to children with eezo ingrained into their nervous system. The abilities these files claim they saw…it’s like nothing I’ve ever read.”

In her excitement, Halsey reached out and took a hold of his arm. The startled warmth of her touch was enough to knock Jacob back out of his daze. His eyes skimming one more time over impossible things he saw in diagrams Halsey recreated.

“Even if that was true, you don’t even know if any of them are still alive or where they are.”

With her lips curved up in victory, Halsey plucked the holopad from his hands.

“Yes I do. We’re headed there now.”

————-

“You get caught staring up at the sky again and Caster is going to throw a fit.”

“When isn’t he throwing a fit?”

Your question wasn’t meant for an answer. The words barely made it above a whisper while you kept watch on the green hued light that streaked across the sky like a river. Calling it green felt like you were doing it a disservice. You knew it was more than that - the way it moved with purpose across the endless blue above. The different shades that reminded you of the grass on which you stood and dark as the forest that surrounded you.

“Come on,” Thao called over his shoulder. Your name calling from his lips like it would be enough to coax you forward. “I want to get back to actually enjoy what little of my day I have left.”

“You can enjoy it now,” you reminded him.

It took a few more seconds - another millisecond after that - for your eyes to turn back to the world around you. The snap of a branch somewhere off to your right informing you Thao had taken off without waiting for you to catch up.

“Not when my friends are back at the colony having fun without me. And I’m out here looking for dumb ass yaks.”

A small tut of disapproval clicked at the roof of your mouth. Your stride easily brings you closer to the shorter eleven-year-old boy. It allowed you to gently ruffle his hair. Your efforts were greeted by a grunt of annoyance with his hand grabbing at your wrist to gently shove you away.

“And just think, you would be there now, doing whatever it is you troublemakers do, if you and your friends hadn’t set a flare off inside Caster’s hut. And don’t disrespect the yaks.”

Thao’s eyes disappeared inside his head as your elbow gently nudged his shoulder. You must be making some kind of progress, because this time he made no move to push you away.

“Old man deserved it. Always hoarding the chicken eggs.”

“He owns the chickens.”

“So?”

“So,” you drawled, “it means he owns the eggs. Owning the eggs also means he gets to distribute them however he sees fit.”

“How is that fair? You know he gave Lydia and her kids three eggs last week? Three eggs. What is a family of five supposed to do with that? It’s not right.”

You knew what Thao meant. You understood the feeling of anger that burned into sadness and ultimately to the ash of defeat. Kahn allowed those who proved useful in the fight against the UNSC to have a majority hold on most of the items in the colony. Those who allowed themselves to be shuffled around an unseeable chessboard like pawns.

Willing to die, to give up everything, at his disposal.

All in the name of fighting a government who grew more powerful everyday. The UNSC sharing their own videos of propaganda that showed thousands upon thousands of soldiers equally willing to die for a cause, and Spartans being the unmovable force needed to shift any battle back into the UNSC’s favor. It was this very reason Kahn looked for those desperate enough to join, to do anything he asked, to win.

A devoted father agrees to be a walking bomb to blow up a UNSC building? His family is rewarded with food, wood, and blankets to help make it through the harsh winters. Attempting to infiltrate a building to release a virus, whether you were caught or not, Kahn took care of your family. It could be with livestock, guns for protection, or even the yaks whose pelts made the biggest profit at the markets.

Every loss of life was just another reminder of the men and women who slowly disappeared from the colony. A senseless loss of life. You were still trying to figure out what it was for; what purpose you hadn’t been able to see, because for every life lost in the pursuit of justice against the USNC, their numbers only grew. The colony's numbers, however, weren't so lucky.

“You could turn this war around.”

“I won’t kill for you, Kahn.”

You swiftly whipped your head to the side to rid yourself of the memory. Your eyes narrowing on the green rolling hills on the other side of the treeline. That was where you would find the yaks grazing. You gently patted Thao’ss shoulder - for whatever comfort it would give - before you moved forward to take point.

“That’s because it isn’t fair, Thao.”

“See! Even you agree,” Thao huffed out your name. His small body broke into a jog to match your hurried step. “If anyone in the colony would be able to kick his ass, it would be you.”

Your feet were turning before you’d even realized it. Your body answered the piercing spike of adrenaline in your blood with your hands shooting out to grab his shoulders. The action made you crouch a couple inches until you were face-to-face with Thao. Your eyes scanned wildly across his features reading nothing but uncertainty.

“Don’t ever say something like that out loud again, Thao. Do you understand me?”

“I was only saying-“

“I know what you're trying to say. The answer is no, and if Kahn or any of his dumbass lackies ever heard you even mention something like that we are both as good as dead.”

“But-“

“Tell me you understand!”

If anyone asked why you felt the sudden surge of panic ripple over your skin, you wouldn’t be able to say, or place where it stemmed from. Technically, the both of you were out in the safety of the mountain fields and away from the prying eyes of Kahn’s dictatorship. Lost behind a sea of forest, the rolling fields of green, and poppies that puddled around you like blood.

You’d seen what Kahn and his insurrectionists were capable of. Any whisper - false or not - and the person went missing. Kahn ruled the colony with the fear generated by the UNSC, but cultivated his own like the boogeyman.

“Yeah I get it. Whatever.”

Thao shrugged out of your hold and turned away from you. His pre-teen feet stomped a path out of the tree line and out into the field. A sigh left you, worn and heavy, as you watched his retreat.

I Should’ve been softer…

You let out a huff of air as a hand scrubbed over your face. It was supposed to be a simple ‘herd the yaks back to the colony’ type of day. Not grovel to one of the only people - kid or not - who wasn’t afraid of you.

It was your turn to jog after his retreating form. Quickly, you noticed that he didn’t even look up to acknowledge your presence. He wasn’t sending jokes about being an old lady (you were twenty-four, thank you very much) whose brittle bones could snap under the strain of being a person. You would’ve taken being called an old lady than suffering through the silent treatment.

Gently, you nudged his shoulder with your elbow. When he didn’t turn you tried again and again until, finally, you were rewarded with him turning an annoyed side-eye in your direction. You gave him your best apologetic smile and carefully looped your arm around his shoulders to bring him in close.

“I’m sorry. Okay? I was kind of an asshole.”

“A major asshole.”

“Okay. I’ll accept that major part but only for today.”

“If there was an asshole award, you would’ve taken home the prize-“

“Okay, geez. I get it.”

You both settled into a comfortable pace with your arm still draped over his shoulders. Your mind raced back to the last time you’d been able to do this. Thao had been younger - shorter - and with the rate he was growing, you soon might not be able to reach him. Soon, Thao might not care for your company.

“You know, I am surprised you didn’t fracture an ankle running after me at your tender age.”

“Alright, that’s enough for today,” you grumbled in mock annoyance.

You ended up having to shove him away just to try and hide the smile that threatened to lift the edges of your mouth. The sound of Thao’s laughter at your weak attempt at being mean - he 100% knew it took way too much to even make you raise your voice - made the crack of a smile begin to form.

The yaks were about another ten or so feet ahead of you both. Their massive bodies moved in slow steps while they grazed along the long grass. You weren’t sure if it was their adorable long bangs that made it impossible for them to notice you right away (doubtful) or if they just didn’t consider either of you a threat (possible). Either way, they didn’t startle as the two of you closed the remaining distance. Didn’t jump up to try and kick or gore either of you with their horns when Thao produced the ropes from his satchel.

It took a grand total of ten minutes, maybe less, to have all seven of the yaks securely held in makeshift collars from the rope. Their large bodies begrudgingly followed the two of you as you gently pulled the lead, forcing them to give up their meal of dewy grass and follow you back through the treeline.

“You know,” Thao cautiously began, his eyes skimming between you and the trees. “This might be a lot faster if you just…ya know, float them up.”

“Float them up?”

“With your blue magic.”

This time you weren’t able to hide your smile as you shook your head.

“It’s called biotics, Thao, not blue magic.”

“Blue magic sounds waaaay cooler than ‘biotics’. Who even came up with that lame name, anyway.”

“You can thank the good folks at Conatix for that one.”

One of the yaks pulled back on its lead forcing you to give a slight tug back. You could understand if they were tired after eating, but you really didn’t have time in your schedule for yak naps. A huff of air came from the nostrils of the yak to drive home that it wasn't happy not having its nap. Or maybe it was the berry bush it was after, either way, napping and eating stops were prohibited.

You weren’t aware the conversation had died until Thao’s voice interrupted the silence.

“Is it true that you were born like that?”

His question was timid - afraid he would upset you. You were used to the questions; the stares. You remember sitting with your parents in a room, about Thao’s age, when Conatix came back around trying to clean up their mess. Said mess being spilling eezo from their ships across planets that later infected children. While some pregnant mothers had children like you, exposed to element zero in the womb creating a nervous system made of eezo, a majority were far less lucky. Children born riddled with tumors or horrific physical complications that left them in pain their entire lives.

You were supposed to be a lucky one.

One of the lucky ones they’d been trying to take back with them to their laboratories. A lucky one meant to be bought by a substantial fee that your parents quickly declined. It was the last choice they ever got to make for you before they mysteriously died in a tragic accident off-world.

“Yes.”

You didn’t feel lucky and maybe it was the way the words crumbled out of your mouth. The way they sat suspended in the air in a swirl of regrets and dead wishes that Thao knew you didn’t want to talk anymore. Not about your past or anything that reminded you that what you are - who you are - has felt like one big burden. You wondered, most nights, if there was a possibility that curses could be born.

————

The rest of the walk back was filled with an awkward silence. You weren’t sure if it was one you’d made by your lack of response, or if Thao no longer felt like talking. A part of you feared the image he’d held of you since he was young, full of mystery that made you seem cool, was slowly becoming destroyed. You knew it was a matter of time before it happened.

You were an anomaly.

Children saw you as magical, while adults believed you could perform some kind of mind control or read their thoughts. It was the main reason Kahn wanted you to join the resistance. Who wouldn’t want someone who could read thoughts and control minds on their team? You’d know when and where attacks could happen and make them blow up their ships from the inside. Unfortunately, for Kahn, the only thoughts you could read were your own and, as of right now, they were desperately shouting at you not to lose one of the few friends you had left.

Even if they happened to be a young boy who was notorious for being the most talkative kid in the colony.

With a few more steps up the hill, you both came to a stop at the top of the hill. You took in the thatched roofs of the huts that lay scattered in a misshapen circle of rows. The outer ring of homes were made of clay and the only splash’s of color came from designs being painted on the sides of homes or flowers planted in the yard.

The middle ring was meant to be for men like Kahn and his commanders; men and women of importance so that they lived closer to the final, smaller ring, of storefronts and farmers. The middle circle was left open and featured a large walkway down the center of town and out into the hills.

Kahn specifically had the colony built this way. The walkway was the most important, because Kahn believed it was good for his people to be able to watch those that fought for their freedoms return from another victory against the UNSC. You knew it was more about parading around having people kiss his ass than for uplifting any kind of morale.

It was the same path that Thao and you took now as you brought in the yaks from the mountains. You knew it wouldn’t be long until you got them back inside their pen and with the irritated snorts and tugs on their leashes, the yaks knew it too. The sound of multiple small feet came rushing in on Thao’s side and the faces of a few village children came into view. They made sure to stop just before they got in the way of a yak.

“Thao, can you come play?”

“Not yet. I have to finish this choir for Caster.”

A lot of groaning ensued and you felt your free hand reach over the back of a yak. Your fingers waving for him to give you his leashes. Thao’s brow raised in question and you only answered him by pointing at the leash and waving him again to hand it over.

“Hurry up and give them to me before I change my mind.”

You were trying to be grumpy. The way any elder in town would complain about the youth of today being too soft and not knowing the meaning of hard work and blah blah. You were sure they were all just stuck in super grouchy mode from having to be an adult with responsibilities for too long. And because of that, you knew, instead of looking grumpy, a smile was already brightening up your face. Thao’s face lit up in response and his eyes darted - unsure - from up the path and back to you.

“Are you sure? Caster -“

“Will never know that you didn’t help bring them all the way back. Now, like I said, hand over the lead before I suddenly have a fit of amnesia.”

He didn’t need further prompting. Thao’s hand smashed the remaining leashes into your waiting palm and turned on his heel to run off with the other kids. A soft, “thank you,” calling out behind him.

You didn’t waste any more time watching their retreating backs as they tore down a small alleyway between huts. You had your own things that you still needed to finish today. As you continued on your way, you greeted people who were outside in their gardens or hanging up laundry. Some of them returned your greetings of, “Hello,” with grunts with their backs turned to you or hurried inside. Apparently, if they didn’t look you in the eye or were behind the safety of a wall it kept you from using your mind control powers.

You were willing to bet Kahn had something to do with that latest lie about your make believe abilities. If you wouldn’t fight for him, why not cause a little mass panic in your presence. You being the monster and him, the hero, forcing you to toe the line. No ‘mind reading’ unless it was for the ‘cause’.

As you neared the pen in front of Caster’s shop, you started to rotate the leashes tighter in your hands. You were positive if the yaks felt a slack in their leash, they would attempt a revolt. They also weren’t the biggest fan of the metal pen of broken down ships Caster created to house them; the metal of an old hatch door from a USNC frigate - rusted and covered in moss - groaned as it opened. A sound the yaks knew well and instantly sent their hooves stamping into the muddy grass.

“Alright, ladies, I don’t want any trouble. It’s time to get your butts back in here - whoa!”You shot around with a start as one of the yaks gently bumped its nose against your back sending you forward towards the pen. “None of that,” you mumbled. Your index finger pointing at your chest then back to every single one of them. “Your home, not mine. Now go.”

With a cautious glance over your shoulder you took a step forward leading the herd inside. It wasn’t until you’d begun to remove their leashes that the familiar sound of a man clearing his throat brought your gaze up to search the fence. It didn’t take long for you to find Caster leaning against it. An arm hanging over while the other held up whatever self-righteous bullshit questioning he was about to spew.

“Where’s Thao?”

“He helped me bring them here, Caster. I sent him on his way once we reached the pen.”

“That’s not what he was told to do and you don’t have any authority to change orders.”

Every word reached you like a slap in the face. Caster’s irritation was evident with the click of his tongue. You tried to keep your face neutral; your gaze fixed on one of the yak's as your fingers ran through the tangled fur. You gave one final pat to signal your departure before you walked back to the pen’s exit.

“I wasn’t aware Thao had to be the specific individual to deliver a bunch of yaks inside the pen.”

“Bullshit,” Caster snarled your name. His body closing the distance between you as you stepped through the pen entrance. “You can try and play dumb with me all you want, but we both know you aren’t that damn dense. Thao can’t shut up even for a second in his sleep, and you’re trying to tell me the boy magically didn’t complain the whole time he was with you?”

Caster invaded what little space you had once you stepped fully out from behind the pen. The door hadn’t even closed yet before Caster rushed you, attempting to trap you between him and the metal. The cold gray of his eyes roamed your face waiting for you to break at his intimidation.

One of the Shadow Sea’s three moons would have to explode first before that ever happened.

You jammed the cool metal of the pens chains into his chest. You didn’t bother to see if he would catch it when you released it. You knew he would, and when Caster did, you made sure to take a step towards him forcing the older man two options; hold his ground or back up. You weren’t surprised when he did the latter.

“You’re right, Caster, I’m not that damn dense. Close up your own fucking pen.”

You didn’t give him the chance to reply. The first step you took forced him to take another step back, your shoulder ramming into his as you pushed your way past him.

Could you have gone around?

Yes, but, no matter what, it felt a lot better being petty for a couple of seconds than pretending for a second you cared.

It didn’t take Caster long to find his bearings. The sound of the chains rustling in his hands and a slew of curses thrown at your back were the first to greet you before he yelled after you: “Just wait until Kahn hears about this!”

“Yea, yea,” you mumbled.

You were willing to bet no matter how the exchange between Caster and you went, Kahn was always going to hear how it went. Good or bad. Caster yelled something else at your retreating back. You responded with a wave and continued back down the main path before you veered off course into a smaller path. It was one you knew well since you were a child. One you knew led to your grandparents' hut.

Smoke rose from the clay chimney and you knew, before you entered through the doorway, you’d find your grandfather working to dry his latest clay pots by the fire. Your grandmothers weathered fingers working tirelessly with a needle and her beadwork scattered over the small table. It was only a few days before everyone with goods left to try and sell them at the Market. You moved through the small space stopping to kiss the top of your grandmother’s head before you gently took over for your grandfather.

“And where did you run off to this morning?”

You didn’t have to look up to feel the weight of your grandfather’s stare. His scrutinizing eyes waiting for you to give him a response knowing full well it wasn’t going to be the one he wanted.

“There is no need to worry, grandpa. I was nowhere and everywhere all at once.”

“That sentence alone turned what little hair I have left white.”

“All of your hairs’ already white.”

“Precisely my point,” he groaned.

The soft chuckle of your grandmother cut through the tension in the small room. Your eyes now directed to the open flame and focused on turning the pot slowly with the tongs. The last thing you wanted to hear on top of giving your grandfather white hair and an early grave was ruining a pot he’d worked on most of this morning.

“Would you two stop it? I’m sure she has a perfectly good explanation for why she was missing this morning. Don’t you dear?”

Your grandmother sent a coy look in your direction and you couldn’t wait to completely crush her dreams. While your grandfather believed in hard work, your grandmother believed in finding a good spouse who could provide for the imaginary great grandchildren she’d already named.

Either that or joining the resistance.

“I was out helping Thao rally up the yaks that ran away this morning.”

A sigh so heavy escaped from your grandfather’s chest that you could’ve sworn all your ancestors before you joined him.

“And there it is.”

The soft call of your name forced your attention back to where your grandmother now sat idle. Her hands placing the beadwork and adjoining needles on the table. Her small frame turned on the bench to make sure she had your full attention.

“I’m happy you want to help but you already know Kahn will-“

“Will throw a bitch fit. Yeah, yeah, I know.”

A smack on your arm sent you jolting back in surprise. Your eyes cautiously roaming over to your grandmother to see if she was going to hit you again. With how tightly her lips were pressed together, you had a feeling, with some of the things that came from your mouth, the possibility of her doing it again was imminent.

“Whether you like him or not, Kahn is our leader.”

“No, he is your leader. Kahn will never be mine. A real leader doesn’t sacrifice their people to gain information or so they don’t get locked up inside a UNSC prison.”

“And do you think there is someone more fit to lead if he was gone? Who do you think would run the rebellion?”

“Plenty of more competent individuals could step forward to take his place if he wasn’t aro-“

You realized you sounded like Thao who, hours before, you’d shushed him into complacency. Your fear for his safety was paramount over how right his words might have been. And here you were doing the exact same thing inside your grandparents hut.

“Enough!”

Your grandfather wasn’t known for raising his voice and when he did it was usually out of desperation; a fear that surpassed anger that delved into worry from the unknown. You could see it now etched into every wrinkle that creased in the sagging skin of his sunburnt face. The way he tried to hold onto the anger before it was swept away by something he wouldn’t voice in fear of giving it a name.

“Whether you like it or not, Kahn runs this settlement. He is the only one working here to free us from the tyrant that is the UNSC! At least he is doing something, which is more than I can say for my own granddaughter!”

“Ernest,” your grandmother’s voice cautioned.

“So you want me to just let him use me like some kind of weapon?”

You no longer cared about holding the pinchers over the fire or the clay pot - your grandfather's life’s work - held delicately between them. As you stood up from the stool you dropped the pinchers and the sound of clay cracking tapered over your shuddering breathing for just a moment. You moved away from the fire towards a corner of the room closest to the door. The thunder in your ears drowning out the shouts of your grandmother; your eyes coming in and out of focus as you tried to ease the panic from your veins.

It would only take a second - a fatal second of panic to fill the room with a cobalt hue of flame that would ruin everything.

“Kahn offers you a way to use your gift, to teach you how to use it, and better help our people and you spit in his face!” He hissed. “Your parents gave their life for the cause-“

“And what has Kahn given!?” You hadn’t meant to scream. Each word laced with a grief stricken with rage that only bloomed brighter over time. “He asks families to give their husbands, wives, their children to fight his battles and what the fuck does he do for us?!”

“Why can’t you ever see that you can help save us? Kahn can help teach you how to control it.”

“Help me control it or control me?”

“You ungrateful child.”

His words hissed through the air and buried themselves in the hollow of your chest. Your feet involuntarily took a step back, ready to flee the hut, ready to find peace in the hills of the forest when the collective raised shouts of the villagers rang out from behind the walls.

“UNSC vessels spotted!”

It was the distraction you needed to escape the hut. The shouts of worried men and women pushing you to rush outside and greedily take gulp after gulp of fresh air until the flare, the warmth, of your power began to dig back inside your skin. When you dragged your gaze away from the grass you were greeted with villagers running back and forth. The ones who sprinted down the open lane back out towards the open forest only ended up coming back moments later.

You made your way out into the crowd, weaving in between the bodies to get to the heart of the circle their bodies created. They all stood in large huddled groups; mothers clutching their children and the able bodied men moving in front of them, in front of everyone, to try and guard them. The villagers who tried running down the main road were coming, as if herded, back to the center of the village. You didn’t understand why they were all running back to the middle.

This was a kill zone.

Strategically the worst place to be for any of the resistance fighters if they were going to make any attempt to fight back. It wasn't until you made it to the middle that your earlier rage turned to ice as you watched the UNSC marines, and four very big fucking Spartans, make their way up the middle.

If Spartans were here you knew no one stood a chance. A fight would be suicide. You needed to get back to your grandparents. You needed -

“Attention settlers of the Lera system of Laconix: I am Captain Jacob Keyes of the USNC. We have viable intel that led us to believe that you are harboring a fugitive by the name of Kahn Montrello - a known insurrectionist. We are asking for your cooperation in this matter. We can resolve this matter peacefully, with no need to resort to any unnecessary violence.”

“Screw you! You have no jurisdiction here or any outer colonies.”

Fred. That was his name. Maybe. You didn’t know - couldn’t remember. Your brain couldn’t think past your own rushing pulse or speeding thoughts. He was just pushing past the crowd with angry shouts and limbs flying while he moved towards them. You watched as he made his way towards the marines like a man on fire, and was met by a Marine who burned brighter. The butt of their gun cracking against his cheek sent him spiraling to the ground.

You weren’t sure if you were already panicked or if the sight of blood seeping through his fingers caused it. No matter what the real reason was you knew there was no getting around whatever came next. Like a swarm of locusts, the marines fanned out and moved forward. Their bodies corralled the villagers tighter together and kept any hope of escape at bay.

It was the perfect time for Kahn to make his appearance. His form practically glided from between a lake of terrified bodies frozen in fear, clutching one another, as he opened his arms in welcome.

“You say you wish us no violence, only want our cooperation, and yet attack a simple working man.”

“You need to stay where you are or you will be taken down with force,” a marine answered, their gun trained on Kahn who continued to take careful steps forward.

He responded with his hands showing he wasn’t armed. Kahn made a show to come to a stop in front of Captain Keyes.

“Maybe that was advice you should’ve opened with, Captain Keyes.”

Kahn was treating this like a joke. He was wearing that easy smile of his displaying he didn’t have a care in the world. He was either suicidal, genocidial in willing to let them completely kill the colony or, you realized with a sickening drop in your stomach, Kahn had another plan.

“And you are?”

“I’m Malcom. Another humble merchant who lives here.”

Liar!

The panic that settled like lead inside your gut dropped heavier, threatening to upend whatever was left from your morning breakfast. You didn’t have to guess what his plans were, because Kahn was laying them bare for everyone to see. The only difference between you and everyone else is that whoever he chose to sacrifice for the name of his ‘revolution’ would be met with silence.

Captain Keyes outlined Kahn’s frame with suspicion and a pebble of hope was thrown your way. Maybe he could sense the lie that costed Kahn’s words. Maybe it would be enough for him to call bullshit.

“Okay, Malcolm. And what is it you’re wanting?”

“I want nothing, Captain. I just want to show you exactly who you are looking for.”

Kahn never intended to point the finger at himself - why would he when there were dozens of men brainwashed to think their sacrifice mattered. You followed his finger like everyone else drawn to the imaginary string he pulled and waited to see what poor fool he chose this time.

Except this time - no…NO!

It was your grandfather who took a step forward out of the dozens of bodies. The wooden tip of his cane met the ground with a depth of a shovel digging a grave with each step. Your grandmother reached out her arms - called for him to come back - but he continued to make his way forward. His head held high like he was making a decision everyone should be proud of.

“I am Kahn Montrello. The man you seek.”

Captain Keyes took one look at your grandfather and you could see the disbelief reflected in his eyes. The way they darkened further on a decision you, or anyone else, would ever be made aware of until he made it.

“I’ve never known an insurrectionist leader to give themselves up so willingly.”

Thank god Captain Keyes was smarter than he looked. Your grandfather, however, wasn’t backing down. He squared his shoulders and planted his hands coolly over the hilt of his cane. His head held high enough for his next words to strangle him.

“Any leader should be willing to give themselves up for the safety of their people. Is that what you can offer me, Captain Keyes? The safety of my colony if I come willingly?”

“What are you doing?”

You were sure it was the panic that surged you forward. How you found yourself taking step after step until you were out from behind every last villager and into the clearing with Kahn and your grandfather.

“Stay back!”

“Don’t take another step forward!”

You were vaguely aware of the commands being slung your way. The arms that lifted weapons as you took scrambling steps towards your grandfather who only looked on with distaste.

“Go back with the others. I won’t tell you again.”

It was the voice he’d used countless times since you were a child. A voice that radiated with authority that now only showcased his age. A part of you wanted to follow his orders and run to your grandmother’s side. To be a good granddaughter and comfort her the way she needed.

But she wouldn’t need comforting if Kahn wasn’t such a fucking coward.

“No!”

He hissed your name as he nervously looked out over the marines. At Captain Keyes.

“Be good and do as you're told.”

“I won’t let you do this!”

“And I don’t need your permission-“

“What about grandma? You’re just going to leave her like this?”

“I wasn’t aware Kahn Montrello had grandchildren?” Keyes quipped.

You could see your grandfather open his mouth to reply and you made sure to cut him off before he could say another lie.

“That’s because he doesn’t because Kahn -“

“Apologies, Captain Keyes,” Kahn cut in. “This girl is unwell. Ever since she lost her parents -“

“Don’t you dare speak about them.“

“-she’s been desperately trying to cling to anyone willing to call her family.”

You weren’t aware you were moving forward until you heard the shouts from the marines; the gasps of fear from your own people. You were vaguely aware of the tingle of heat that moved like a shockwave from your fingertips up your arms until it consumed you. In another time, a different life, maybe you would’ve been aware that your biotics had flared to life and enveloped you in what looked like cobalt flame.

A fitting image for the one Kahn so lovingly painted for you. An unhinged woman filled with crazy fantasies and a desperation for family.

The only thing you could focus on was Kahn who stood before you. The coward who easily was willing to give your grandfather up to the UNSC knowing what they do to insurrectionist leaders. The unspeakable torture done to collect secrets, and their executions televised on every available feed for all to see.

With the thought of your grandfather’s future weighing behind your eyes you lashed out. Your hand rising forward to catch Kahn midway in taking a step back. Your biotics held him suspended in the air. You were vaguely aware of what sounded like your grandfather calling your name. The wood of his cane crunching through dirt and leaves to rush to you.

There was more shouting - orders being relayed and metal clicks of safeties being released - and you knew chaos was about to ensue.

“Spartan’s your orders are to grab the insurrectionist known as Kahn Montrello. Marines focus on providing backup and subduing any and all threats.”

A wash of relief rippled through you. The UNSC had come to their senses. They must have realized Kahn for the liar he was. Captain Keyes caught on that the rouse Kahn created with your grandfather was all a lie.

Except that wasn’t what happened.

The marines who fanned out around the clearing were now moving in towards one sole target: you. The Spartans who Keyes sent forward to capture Kahn weren’t headed in your direction, but towards your grandfather who was visibly shaking as he watched two of the UNSC’s giants - their most powerful weapons - move towards him.

“No! You have it all wrong! He isn’t Kahn!”

You released the hold you had on Kahn. No longer was he held suspended in the air as you sent his body flying towards the marines. Your feet were digging into the soil, pitching you forward in a hard sprint, as you barreled blindly towards your grandfather. You could hear him warning you to stay back - ‘stay away’ - but you never were good with doing what you were told.

The closest Spartan,only identified by the numbers 028 on her chest, was almost on him. They were so close it would only take a couple more inches and this Spartan would grab a hold of him and you would lose him. Forever.

You were running on pure adrenaline. Your vision honed in on nothing else but the hand of the Spartan that reached out to grab at his arm. If they got a hold of him, that was it. You called on every cell of energy in your body, your arm drawing back - nerves frying - as the eezo inside your body compacted in the space around you, changing it into a powerful ball that you launched with a scream. The Spartan barely had time to react when the cobalt sphere of element zero slammed into her suit and sent her flying back.

“Riz!”

You had a split second to make half a shield before the second Spartan’s fist slammed against it. The impact snapped like a shockwave of its own. The force of impact sent your feet sliding back against the dirt. The sound of heavy footsteps following your rolling body forced you to spring to your knees as you called on another surge of element zero and sent it flying like a fastball.

It slammed into the Spartan but, unlike the first one, it barely slowed them down. The impact crackled against the air and the force field around his armor allowing your biotics to push them back only a few feet. It was all the feet you needed to scramble on all fours to your grandfather, who was kneeling in a heap in the dirt.

As soon as you slide in next to him, you put up a small force field - a bubble of blue that encapsulated you both just in time before bullets bounced against the shield. Gently, you secured an arm underneath his shoulders and tried to lift him up to you. All while your right hand stayed pressed against the barrier you’d created. Your arms shaking with the strain of holding back another round of gunfire and the slamming fists of a very big, very angry, Spartan.

You were running out of time. The strain of keeping the barrier up, of using powers you usually never touched, left a noticeable trail of perspiration to crown your forehead. If you kept this up much longer, you knew the nosebleeds would start soon.

“Come on grandpa. We have to get up now. We gotta get you out of here.”

“Just let them take me, deheyah*.”

A heavy wave of memory, weighted with emotions thick and stifling, threatened to knock you off balance. The last time your grandfather had ever called you that, was before your parents died. When you were allowed the luxury of childhood innocence and the imagination that the world held the beauty of magic before it was destroyed by the gravity of reality.

“That’s not going to happen, grandpa. I won’t let it happen. I can’t lose you too.”

Your body jerked with the next slam of a fist against the barrier. The impact sent a shutter down into the marrow of your bones and snapped at your nervous system. The pain was immediate and tore a gasp from you.

“You will never lose me. I will always be with you. Wherever you go. Whatever you choose to be.”

“No.”

You shook your head violently forcing him to reach out to steady you. The soft leather of his hand cupped your cheek quieting your protests and forced you to keep your eyes on him.

“I’m sorry for what I said. Earlier. I just - I just wanted what was best for you. I always have. But…only you know what is best for your life. Never stop fighting. Don’t be afraid of who you can be.”

“Why are you talking like this? This isn’t goodbye grandpa. Come on, I have to get you back to grandma. She’s going to be pissed if you just stay here.”

But it was, wasn’t it? You’d felt it when your hands touched the layers of shawls that draped over his chest. It was wetter than it should’ve been. His eyes glassy and unfocused and struggling to keep them on you while he spoke. Somehow, you’d been a few moments too late when the bullets came your way, and those few seconds allowed the hollow point of a bullet to find a hole in the center of his chest.

Blood covered your left hand as another sharp synopsis of pain resonated through your nervous system. Spartan 028, Riz, was back up and hammering away at the sphere of the barrier you’d created. The pain should’ve been unbearable but nothing compared to the last gasp of air that shuddered from your grandfather. It couldn’t compare to the feeling of his body, lifeless, and sagging towards the earth where the weight forced you to place him.

None of this would’ve happened if Kahn wasn’t a coward. If he didn’t use people, the very people he claimed were his. People he swore to defend and liberate - for his own gain.

The anger swelled brighter inside like a raging flame. Every beating your nervous system took holding up the barrier became a dulled sensation as you struggled to breathe around the loss of your grandfather.

The Spartans had stopped but didn’t move back. A woman was off to your right. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Smiling like she was friendly but the mock kindness didn’t reach her eyes. They were bright with excitement; the way hunters spotted prey. A scientist finding a new object to dissect.

“…I’m Doctor Halsey.”

Of course she was. She wanted to dissect you. The same way the scientists from Conatix tried many years ago by trying to buy you from your parents. She was saying your name but she had no right to it.

This Dr. Halsey.

False smile given under false pretenses. Just like Kahn has his fancy glittering speeches that kept hopes high and results low.

“We don’t want to harm you. If you are willing to come peacefully we promise we will leave the colony immediately. No further bloodshed needs to happen.”

The part of you that wasn’t soaked in grief agreed. It was the best call to make - the right call. It promised no more suffering would happen. It meant your grandmother would be safe.

Your grandmother. A woman who lost her son. Her husband. Now her granddaughter. Who would watch her if you left? The thought alone sprang a sharp refusal to your tongue until you stood, your eyes cast down at the warm body of your grandfather. In that moment, whatever reasonable human being you used to be ceased to exist. The only thing left was rage.

Dr. Halsey must have noticed. No longer was she crouched to be eye level with you. She returned to her full height. Her hands placed out in front to shield herself, as if that would be enough to stop what happened next.

“Whatever you’re thinking - don’t.”

Your reply came in a scream that crawled its way from the pit of despair that had lodged itself inside your heart. The loss of your parents, the death of your grandfather, and for your grandmother who would be alone. You used that hurt, bitterness, and rage and used it to erupt your shield into a burst of biotic energy that detonated like a bomb. The sheer force alone sent the Spartans back.

It wasn’t enough but you only needed a minute or two. Just enough time for you to send your biotics crackling along the air in a line until it grabbed a hold of Kahn and pulled him like a slingshot of force back towards you. When he was close enough, you dropped your left hand that you’d use to control the pull of his body, and cocked back your right arm, your palm open, and launched it forward. The slam of the biotics hit home at the center of his chest launching Kahn back through the scrambling crowd of people, with the sickening crack of his sternum mixing with the scream that tore from your throat.

It was all the time you had before the Spartan marked with 117 came into view. His armored fist closes in like a warthog at full speed against your cheek, sending your body spiraling into the dirt. You could feel the earth shift with tremors as he moved to follow you. You could taste the blood from the hit and wondered if your jaw was broken. If you just lost a whole row of teeth.

“John, Incapacitate her only! I need her to be brought back with us. Alive.”

For a glorious moment, your blurred vision swirled only with the uninterrupted view of the sky before the cameo green of Master Chief, savior of the galaxy - or John - 117 - helmet came into view. A joke was brewing on the back of your tongue, covered in humor and blood before his fist came crashing down your line of sight, and the world became blissfully quiet.

_________

You found that the darkness wasn’t as quiet as you’d hoped.

The impact from the punch the Maater Chief, or John - 117 as that woman called him, had launched you into what felt like a nightmare. Held hostage by a paralysis of your own mind. Unable to change the forms of what you saw. The images were vivid. The sounds carried a weight that sat heavy like lead in your skull. It made you miss the pain of being conscious.

You weren’t sure if the screams that bounced around inside your head were real or if they were just a part of the nightmare. Over and over your broken mind played out the moment a Marine’s bullet found a hole inside your grandfather's gut.

No matter how fast you ran, if you launched yourself in front of him, you were never fast enough. Each step you took sunk deeper into the earth as if your legs were trying to race through quicksand. Your own biotics mysteriously grew quiet - refusing to work for the first time in your life.

No matter what the outcome never changed. Your grandfather was gone, and there was no time travel to head back and change that startling fact.

A sickening lurch, one you knew meant a ship was coming out of slipspace, sent the contents of that morning’s breakfast swirling in your stomach. You barely had time to register that it was real, the nausea, and that you were really about to throw up. You’d barely rolled to your side before said breakfast displayed itself onto a very shiny metal floor.

As soon as you finished, you rolled back onto your back. Your eyes fluttered open to take in the fluorescent lights, the cool slated metal ceiling that matched the walls and floor. It was definitely a cell, and you most definitely found out much too late that your wrists were tied behind your back.

When you were sure you weren’t going to upend anymore of your breakfast, you slowly began to maneuver to sit on the only bench they’d laid you on. The pain in the sockets of your shoulders informing you that you’d been like this for quite a while.

You were still trying to gather your bearings when the sliding doors to your right opened. A woman with blonde hair stood at the forefront with a Spartan, the dusk green armor of John - 117, standing protectively behind her. When she moved, he moved. You couldn’t help but consider her a puppeteer and the Spartan the puppet. He didn’t move unless she did and you doubted he would be doing any of the talking.

She entered the room with a cautionary smile and clinical eyes assessing you before she even entered. It was easy to tell she was a scientist and, more than likely, a very experienced one in whatever it was she specialized in.

“Hello, Subject Cobalt,” she said brightly. Her smile never faltered once. “I’m glad to see that you are alright. My name is Doctor Halsey. I’ve come to do an assessment on you and make sure you didn’t sustain any life-threatening or mind altering issues after what happened back on Laconix.”

Subject Cobalt?

Was that supposed to be you?

You eyed her warily as she took her first step inside the cell. The heavy footsteps of Mjolnir armor followed closely behind. If she suspected you were jumpy - a rabbit in headlights, as the old ones used to say - Halsey never showed it.

A few more steps and she was beside the bench. Another breath and she was sitting beside you. The smile on her face beaming and hollowing out her eyes with rapture at what she must have considered a new species. You made a fine new specimen for any scientist, you would imagine. A nervous system full of eezo that lit your body up like an Earthen Christmas tree and the power to wield it like a weapon.

Doctor Halsey was practically giddy beside you.

“I’m going to do a few simple tests to verify cognitive function isn’t impaired. To do so, I’m going to need your assistance. Do you think you could do that for me?”

Your eyes scanned over her as you considered your options. It turned out to be a very short list that was available to you. The only option being to go along with what she asked.

“Okay.”

That one word was all the go ahead Halsey needed to cause her megawatt smile to go up a notch. She must have thought you would be resistant to following orders and she wasn’t wrong but, from where you were sitting, this seemed like the lesser of two evils.

“Splendid. First, I’m going to run this pen horizontally and vertically. I need you to focus on the tip of the pen, and follow it as closely as you can.”

“Okay.”

Doctor Halsey lifted the pen up to eye level, a few inches away from your face, and waited for your eyes to train on the silver point. You hadn’t expected an examination as soon as you woke up. You weren’t sure if you should’ve felt happy or worried about it. If you were one misstep away from becoming a lab rat.

You’d been so deep in thought - your mind considering all the outcomes and possibilities of this interaction ending well - that you completely missed her first question.

“I’m sorry. Can you repeat the question?”

Another smile. Another deflection. It was enough, however, for you to notice the tightness in the fine lines of her face. It was so small you could’ve missed it.

“Of course. During your biotic episode on Laconix, I noticed your nose started bleeding. Does it do that every time you use your biotics?”

“No.”

The tightness again. This time it was the edges of her smile - suspended in that mock sweetness - that reminded you of your mother. Waiting for you to give more detail without prodding and realizing, rapidly, you feared incriminating yourself. The pen dropped into her lap. Her eyes roaming over your face for a sign - a tell - that she could exploit.

“You aren’t in any kind of trouble. I’m merely trying to help you -“

“Is that what you’re trying here, Dr. Halsey? To be my friend? To tell me I’m not in any danger when you took me off my planet against my will?” You inquired. Her mouth was still suspended open, forming around a word cut short by your desire to not hear anymore bullshit. “It feels like there is more going on than what you’re sharing.”

She schooled her face - even her eyes - to remain emotionless. A perfect blank slate to display only what she wanted without giving away what she didn’t.

“Alright. I watched you. At first, you seemed in control, but after the third or fourth time your biotics displayed themselves, and you overextended their use, you suffered an epistaxis - the nosebleed. Further scans done here in the ship’s medical bay presented signs of swelling and hematoma on the brain. A few hours before you woke up, I had them run another analysis and both are gone. Which leaves me to believe it only occurs upon exhaustion.”

She watched you as she spoke. Her gaze searching, prodding, for signs of whatever reaction she expected but wasn’t getting. You would’ve loved to offer up whatever it was she wanted, if only you knew which specific one she was hunting for.

“Tell me. Do you get migraines?”

“What is this?”

“I don’t understand.”

“That’s a lie,” you shot back.

The tone in your voice matched the anxiety rising in your chest. It caused your words to be rougher than intended, alerting the Spartan in the corner who took a step towards you. Only the rising hand of calm - control - from Dr. Halsey kept him from taking another step.

“I think you understand more than you’re willing to tell me or, at least, not wanting to show your whole hand, anyway. You’re a scientist, right? Probably super smart. Smart enough you probably come from some UNSC lab from Reach or Illium?”

“Reach.”

The carefully constructed smile was back on her lips, but this time you could see a spark of something brighten up the soft blue of her eyes. You were doing something she didn’t expect, but her scientific mind found it fascinating. No doubt logging it away to draw it open later somewhere quiet to dissect.

Your lips pouted around her admission. Reach. One of the top three planets, if not the first, for all private and commercial research filled with legal litigation and NDA’s to protect organizations and UNSC labs from the courts of public opinions. It was how Conatix got away with doing what they did to you and the other kids scattered across the galaxy. Only taking notice when it seemed like something that could benefit them. You weren’t stupid. Halsey had taken one look at what you could do - what you did - and only two things came to mind: control or destroy.

You hadn’t figured out exactly which one you were to Dr. Halsey yet.

“Are you going to kill me?”

Halsey didn’t necessarily give you a reason to think it was an outlandish guess. Everything - everyone - was expendable when it came to science and the betterment of humanity. Or whatever the UNSC’s science team's new slogan was.

“Why would we kill you?”

You tried to shrug off the growing anxiety that sat coiling inside your gut.

“To experiment on me. Take me apart and see what’s buried underneath, so to speak. Isn’t that what you people do.”

“You don’t realize what you are, do you? The advancement of human genetics - biology - that is flowing through you.”

“What’s flowing through me is eezo and it cost hundreds of children their lives.”

“Yes, but for one out of a hundred children there is something remarkable. You. The one out of a thousand. A stepping stone towards humans having a place amongst the vast and ever growing populace of space. I don’t want to kill you, Cobalt. I want to integrate you into my program.”

“What program?”

You wondered if madness was contagious. If you asked anyone else, they might have dismissed your words as too harsh. No doubt calling Halsey’s display of excitement for simply that, but you could see her eyes. Underneath all that perfectly concealed pleasant exterior was an intelligence that was willing to break the norms - rules - to get to whatever she needed.

“I run the Spartan program. Granted, you are well past the parameters to become a Spartan, no, I…I want to make a subunit. I think Cobalt, we can help each other, and not only help each other, but possibly end this war.”

UNSC propaganda.

That’s what the war was. Everyone in the outer colonies knew it was just a fancy attempt to stop the growing surge of colonists from joining the insurrectionists. Halsey sensed your doubt before you disregarded her words with a shake of your head.

“No. The covenant is just a UNSC nightmare story to try and get the outer colonies to toe the line. To allow themselves to be governed under your jurisdiction.”

“I can promise you. It’s not.”

“Of course you would say that! You’re a USNC scientist for Christ’s sake!”

“John.”

Somehow, you’d forgotten that big hunk of tin was in the room. Halsey kept you focused on her - solely on her - that when the Spartan took a step forward, the reflection of the room mirrored in his visor, you almost jumped out of your skin.

In his hand was a holopad that he deposited into her waiting palm. Halsey didn’t waste time logging in. Her fingers tapped wildly across the screen with a speed that left you dizzy. When she found whatever it was she’d been looking for she extended the holopad out for you to take.

“This was transmitted to us only a few hours ago.”

Warily, you watched her. Your mind debating if you should take the holopad or tell her to fuck off. It was more made up videos or fancy speeches, you were sure of it. The grim lines of her face, however, left you wondering just how certain you were. It was her turn to place the holopad in your hands. Your gaze on her a few more seconds before it dropped down to the video that played on the screen.

Bright beams. It’s what you noticed first. Beams that erupted from the sky with such brilliant clarity you knew it could only be one form: plasma. You couldn’t understand - comprehend - what you were seeing.

Plasma on that scale was impossible. It should’ve been and yet, you watched as it sliced through the planet's barrier, through molecules, and simple things like trees and mountains. Everything it touched turned red hot like lava from volcanoes you’d heard stories about that were on the original human planet of earth. While the plasma beam continued its destructive course, the magma it left behind flowed behind.

You didn’t understand until you did.

You knew that mountain. You’d glanced at it many times on walks to neighboring villages for trade. Attempted to climb it a thousand times as a child.

“What is this?”

Your disbelief was met with something you couldn’t place from her. Halsey didn’t offer up sympathy. She offered up an understanding of watching everything you love disappear in a wave of destruction. But how could she understand the hollowness, the sinking feeling of dread that gripped your heart and threatened to make it stop?

“It’s Laconix. Shortly after we left the Covenant arrived. They glassed the planet.”

“Glassed? I - I don’t. I don’t understand.”

You were going to hyperventilate if you weren’t careful.

“It’s gone, Cobalt.” That’s not my name. “The Covenant doesn’t take prisoners. They destroy everything. Kill everything. Your planet is gone.”

Gone.

Your home. What was left of your family - your people - your community. Gone. In less than 7.8 seconds of holopad footage.

“But you can avenge them. You can fight for them and to protect every other planet still left out there in the galaxy and I can help you do it.”

Deep down a part of you knew this had been her tactic all along. If reason didn’t make someone join your cause, then using their emotions against them would. You should’ve seen it coming. Took the time to ask more questions but the growing hole in your soul moved on from shock and grief was rocketing towards unbridled rage at lightning speed.

When you glanced back up at her, Halsey knew she had you before you even spoke.

“What do you need me to do?”

As always, thank you so much for reading. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated.

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writeforfandoms · 1 year

Text

Warrior Song 1

Find the series masterlist

This is really just for fun. For fun and to play with new characters. Because Chief hits too many of the right buttons.

This starts pre-Infinite, but pretty quickly moves into the events of the game.

Eventual John/Master Chief x f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, vague medical terms and exams, non-explicit violence.

Word count: 2.8k

Thank you to @thirstforhelmets for writing a beautiful beautiful fic that inspired me to actually write for this buckethead, and not just daydream.

The first time you treated the Master Chief, you didn’t even know it was him. You were in the middle of a wave, treated injuries as fast as you could. Your team was already stretched thin, you were barely even paying attention to rank.

So when you saw the armor, your first conscious thought was to get it off.

“Where are you injured?” you asked, very nearly demanded, barely glancing into the gold visor of the Spartan.

“I’m fine.”

“Uh huh. Heard that one before,” you grumbled, doing a quick visual check. Nothing appeared to have gotten through the armor or the undersuit, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hiding something like cracked ribs.

There was a soft huff of what might have been amusement through the helmet’s speakers. “I’m well enough to continue.”

“Fighting is over for now,” you said, narrowing your eyes at a suspicious stain on the armor. “You’ve got time to let me look you over and make sure you are well enough to continue fighting.”

He submitted after that, more or less gracefully. Especially as you expertly found releases for his armor to get at the man underneath.

The man who was not only a bloody beautiful specimen of a human (you fought hard to just swallow and move on), but also had many scars. You could see surgical scars, both from the Spartan program and from other procedures. Poor man.

And then you refocused on the sprained wrist, the bruised ribs, the strained muscles in his neck and back. Probably from the crazy stunts these Spartans tended to pull.

“Not too bad,” you murmured, more to yourself than anything. “Alright. Take it easy for a few days, give yourself a chance to heal so these don’t get any worse. Take a nice hot shower.”

“Is that an order?” His voice was low and raspy, with just a hint of amusement.

“Do I need to make it one?” you shot back without missing a beat. Nevermind that you couldn’t really order him to do anything - as a civilian medic, you held no real rank.

“I’ll take it under advisement.” He straightened to his full height, making you suddenly realize just how dwarfed you were by this mountain of a man. His shoulders alone were broader than you were, and he stood well above your height.

You swallowed and nodded. “Please do. Come back if you need anything else.” You quirked a smile at him, stepping aside so he could leave.

He nodded to you, pausing as he gathered up his helmet and assorted bits of armor. “Thank you.” And then he was gone.

“Was that the Master Chief?” one of the techs asked you in a nervous whisper, eyes wide.

“What?” You whipped around to look at the tech, startled. “No. No way.”

“Didn’t his armor say 117, though?”

It had. You had just bossed around the Master Chief. You felt a little faint, actually.

“Well. That happened.” You took a deep breath and shook yourself. “I’m going to assume it’s fine since he didn’t, y’know, throw me or anything. So. Who’s up next?”

Looking a little awed now, the tech jogged off to find your next victim/patient. You took the extra moments to just breathe.

And then you shoved the entire encounter aside and got back to work.

That was far from the first time, or last time, you had a Spartan for a patient. You’d learned pretty quickly that bossing them around in your firmest voice was the best way to get results. They were all awful patients, often ignoring minor injuries and some going so far as to conceal more significant things. Like cracked ribs.

But you got lots of practice at shouting them down, and even earned yourself a bit of a reputation. If your fellow medics shoved Spartans your way more often, well, you weren’t going to call them out on it. You had no problem with treating the Spartans.

Although you didn’t see Master Chief again, after that first time.

As a civilian contractor, you technically had no rank. And you reported to someone in the military, your boss, who was actually in the chain of command. But you got to avoid all the hierarchy bullshit, and you had access to decent food and supplies.

But there were times you wished you hadn’t joined the crew of the Infinity, even as a contractor.

Like when the alarms started going off signaling battle stations. But before you could even get to your station, your boss grabbed you.

“We’re evacing all civilians,” she told you brusquely. “Get to the nearest lifeboat and get off. Now.”

Eyes wide, you obeyed, grabbing the few other civilians you saw along the way and leading the way to the nearest lifeboat. The Infinity rocked alarmingly, and you all slammed into the seats.

The escape from the Infinity was quite possibly one of the worst moments of your life - stuck in the lifeboat with no windows, no way to check on anything. The force pulling on you was much more than you were used to, and the turbulence before landing was… rather terrifying.

Then again, so was emerging onto the Halo with no support, no cover, no people besides those who’d dropped with you.

“We need to find cover,” you told your group, looking around nervously. Your hands were shaking, just a little. “Come on, this way.”

Fortunately, nobody argued with you, and you all found a stand of trees to hide in amongst. Supplies were low between you all, though the drop pod did have some.

You all stayed huddled together, quiet and scared, until short-range comms brought news of other survivors.

The first few days were… bad. You were lucky you ended up with two med techs and some supplies. Your services became urgent as soon as you came across the first group. Small pockets of humans were gathering, marines and the occasional Spartan acting as guards to try to keep the Banished away from you all. You treated everyone you came across - some had concussions from a rough landing, some had injuries from fighting or from the escape.

But all of them told you about the fall of Infinity. It was all you could do to keep working and not cry.

But slowly, things got more stable. More supplies were hauled down from the wreckage. Perimeters were set up.

And as impossible as it was to believe… Life found a way. People settled in. Order returned.

Short-range communications were all anyone was able to manage, at first. Slowly, people gathered together, leadership got everyone behaving, and… that was that. New semblance of normal.

Of course, your new normal also meant you were busy. You had patients every day - some for long-term care, some for new injuries, some for things like food poisoning or minor illnesses.

Before you knew it, a month had passed. You were exhausted. Supplies were limited, but at least you still had coffee. That was about your one comfort, anymore.

“How are things looking here?”

You stood up straight almost reflexively when Lieutenant Beck came in. So far, he’d been the ranking officer. Or one of them, at least. You weren’t keeping the most accurate tabs on the military stuff, you had about a thousand other concerns.

“Well, we’re still running,” you told him mildly, swiping up your tablet. It wasn’t yours, not originally, but it had been found intact and its original owner was dead, so. Yours now. “Starting to run low on things, though.”

“Like?”

“Painkillers, for one.” You tapped the side of your tablet with one finger, gaze fixed on the latest inventory. “Although I do have an idea that might help. With some of it, at least.”

“Let’s hear it.” Beck motioned with one hand.

“I’d like to investigate the local flora, beyond base. I’ve seen some plants that have medicinal properties. Old school, I know. But it works.” Your smile was half-grimace, really, but that was about the best you could do under the circumstances.

He nodded slowly, considering. “I’ll find some soldiers to go with you. Just in case.”

One look at his face showed that you wouldn’t get anywhere without the soldiers, so you agreed. And, really, it wasn’t the worst safety precaution. There were still Banished out there.

So normal shifted once again, this time to include taking the two techs and a handful of marines out in search of medicinal plants. The marines were skeptical at first, visibly and sometimes audibly so. The techs at least were familiar with the idea, if not the practice.

They all stopped complaining in a hurry when you were able to hand out painkiller tea and help stop bleeding with some ground up bark and (when asked discretely) provide some aids for the women of the group.

After that, you actually had volunteers to go with you.

Supplies were still low, but you stretched what you had. Communications came back online, to some degree, and more pockets of survivors were found and brought in. You ended up shouting down more Spartans.

You actively avoided thinking about the reputation building up around you, because you were just a civilian, very far from home, regretting most of your life choices. And if you thought about anything for longer than twenty seconds you were liable to cry, scream, go absolutely apeshit, or any combination thereof.

More time passed. Skirmishes happened. People came back wounded. Dying. Dead. This was far, far more than you had ever signed on for. But you kept going, because what else was there to do?

It wasn’t until one of your techs mentioned something that you realized with a start that it had been six months since the fall of the Infinity.

Six months. Hundreds, or possibly thousands, still dead or MIA. You were somehow the head of what was left of Medical.

You barely slept that night.

And then, only days later, there was strange chatter on the comms. The Banished were all up in an uproar, and a scouting party reported explosions and destruction. But it wasn’t anyone from your base, or the other two bases you had contact with. (All of which you learned while you patched up one of the scouting party.)

But you really didn’t think too much about it, or who was behind it. Until the Pelican landed, everyone on base running out to see who it was. You emerged more slowly, hanging back, your curiosity at war with your constant exhaustion.

You only had to see that distinctive green armor and gold visor to know. To know that somehow, he’d done the impossible.

And to know that you were going to insist on him coming in for a checkup.

You cleared the techs out of your makeshift medbay and got things ready for an exam, setting water to boil. Just in case.

If nothing else, you felt like your nerves could do with a cup of tea.

You didn’t end up seeing the Chief for hours, but he did come. You were fairly certain you saw the meddling fingers of one of your techs, but you weren’t going to complain, not when this is what you had wanted.

“Take off your armor, please,” you said politely, meeting the visor for only a moment before you looked back at your tablet.

“I’m fine.”

Oh, that brought back memories, your chest squeezing painfully. “I’m sure, but I’d like to double check. The armor, please.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, looming over you, really leaning into that intimidation factor. “I don’t need a checkup.”

Something about his tone, something almost derisive, broke your calm. So that’s how he wanted to play it? Fine. You could play that way.

“Sit your ass down,” you growled at the Spartan, uncaring of his strength or his rank or any of that. Right now, he was your patient, and he was being a stubborn shit. So you’d shout him down if you had to.

For a long, tense moment, there was silence between you two. Then he sat, setting his helmet down on your work table, eyes narrowed just a little at you.

“I know you’re used to going without end,” you said, a little calmer now that he was actually listening to you. “I know. I get it. But this?” You snorted without humor, shaking your head. “Nobody’s going anywhere for half an hour. As much as you think otherwise, you need to take that time to rest and eat and recover, just a little. Then you can go back to shooting things.”

His lips twitched in what might have been a smile. “Affirmative.”

You nodded and then pointed a threatening finger at him. “Stay put. I will be right back.”

And before you could overthink this, you turned and marched away. Food and water, that’s what he needed next. So you gathered up two water pouches and a snack, at least, and brought it all back to him.

Rather to your surprise, he hadn’t moved. He was still seated, back ramrod straight, gaze fixed on you. You huffed but brought over the water and snack.

“I don’t care if you’ve already had a meal,” you said before he could protest. “Your metabolism runs faster. Honestly I’m amazed you haven’t dropped weight.”

He was silent as he took the snack, eyes sweeping over you less than subtly. But he relented, opening one of the waters to drink, so you took a seat and relaxed back into it.

“Thank you,” you murmured, picking up your tablet again. “For not making me entirely shout you down.”

He didn’t smile, not exactly, but the line of his shoulders eased a little, and his chin dipped. “Is that something you have to do often?”

“I’m surrounded by hard-headed marines and even harder-headed Spartans,” you drawled. “Of course it is.”

He looked you over again, more slowly this time. You knew he saw the bags under your eyes, the stress lines around your mouth, the exhausted slump of your shoulders. But there wasn’t much to be done about that now. “No rank?”

You blinked a few times, unused to the question now. Then you huffed a small laugh. “No. I’m a civilian contractor. Navy couldn’t train medics fast enough, they lured me in and promised me I’d never see combat.” You waved expansively at the camp outside these walls to show just how well that had gone.

He nodded slowly. “Your work is appreciated.”

“Thank you.” Your smile was tired, but it was the best you could do. “Now. Are you actually going to take off the rest of your armor and let me have a look at you, or do I have to shout?”

He drained the last of the water and stood silently, beginning to remove his armor. Which was a relief - you didn’t think you could shout him down, not if he truly dug his heels in. So you were grateful for the cooperation, setting aside your tablet to look him over.

(You may have briefly gotten distracted when he rolled the top half of his flight suit down, once again caught by the width of those shoulders and that chest and all of it.)

“In case no one’s given you the tour yet, there are bathing facilities here,” you told him, frowning at some bruising and carefully checking around the area, though you made sure your touch was gentle. “Mess hall is always open. Last I heard there was an area for armor maintenance, at least some basic stuff. Anything else you’ll have to ask one of the actual gun-toting people about, I haven’t paid attention.”

“You don’t have a weapon?” His voice rumbled through his chest and oh dear. That was distracting. You ducked your head to get a better look at a healing wound (although it showed no signs of infection and the bruising was already in the green stages of healing).

“No.”

He made a dissatisfied noise but didn’t push, for which you were grateful. In fact, he didn’t move until you stepped back, complete with your exam.

“You do indeed seem to be in good health. I’d like it if you ate more and got plenty of sleep, but, knowing your type, that will be disregarded as soon as something comes up.” You grimaced a little, well used to your advice being ignored by now. “Try not to get hurt, and if you do, come see me as soon as you can.”

He nodded, already suiting back up. But he paused with his helmet in his hands, staring at you with those disconcertingly intense eyes. “Take care.” And then he put on the helmet and was gone, leaving you blinking after him.

#master chief x reader #john-117 x reader #warrior song #whoops i did a thing #f!reader

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nachtwaechterin · 6 months

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20 questions for fanfic writers tagged by @kittyphoenix12-xx. Thanks for the tag!!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

22 across four pseudonyms!

What's your total AO3 word count?

251,426 as of November 3rd, 2023

What fandoms do you write for?

Across my fandoms, there are fics for BotW, A:tLA, BBC Merlin and now the MCU. I'm currently only writing MCU fic tho!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Spider on the Web (1,077 kudos, MCU, Parkner)

The Scientific Method (246 kudos, MCU, Parkner)

Spidery Thoughts (136 kudos, MCU, Parkner)

How To Train Your Dragon Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man (120 kudos, MCU)

Druids and Destinies (117 kudos, BBC Merlin)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Because comments make me happy and I wanna engage with my readers (which is also why I have a Discord server for my fics)

If I don't respond, it's probably because it's a longer thread in which I've replied before and I simply don't know what to say.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't do angsty endings. Or, well, I do at the end of a work but usually those have sequels with happier endings. The worst I'm gonna do is bittersweet. But if we allow angsty endings with sequels that have happy endings, The Way of the Sword (A:tLA) will fit best!

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them tbh!!! Or so many of them. I will say Coffee and Chamomile (MCU, Parkner) though because the overall vibe is also very fluffy.

Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet!

Do you write smut?

I do! Mostly as an exploration of my own sexuality since I did struggle to accept my cupiosexuality for years. There's It Turns Out Asexuals CAN Want Sex (MCU, Parkner), and the rewrite of The Scientific Method will get a smut one-shot. I might also write some for Glowing in the Dark (MCU, Parkner) tbh.

Do you write crossovers?

I had ideas but nope! Idk, it's difficult for me to write for me in more than one fandom at a time, and this just ties into it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Do my own abandoned translations count? If so, then yes.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried but I feel like co-writing is kinda difficult for me because of the increased pressure. A one-shot or short story is probably fine but anything more than that is just. Idk. My brain does Not Like It.

What's your all-time favorite ship to write for?

Tbh that changes depending on the fandom im in currently! It's Harley Keener/Peter Parker aka Parkner (MCU).

What's A WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of the ones in the fandoms I fell out of tbh.

What are your writing strengths?

I think writing emotions!!! I'm just projecting my own experiences and trauma and I think that gives them a lot of depth and makes them pretty realistic!

What are your writing weaknesses?

I can't keep anything short. I just ramble on and on and on and on and on and—

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I italicize and use a tooltip workskin so that if you hover over it you can see the translation! (or click on it, if you're using mobile)

For sign language, I haven't figured that one out. I probably won't use ASL grammar bc I simply do not know ASL (tho I do aspire to learn sign language from the country I live) and also bc I heard that can make it harder to read. I might put in italics, might not, idk. I'll see when I'll have to use it!

First fandom you wrote for?

Prinzessin Lillifee (a German book series/magazine about a fairy, often featuring her unicorn and animal friends. I used to spend so much money on the magazines and I'm pretty sure I had an audiobook! Prinzessin Lillifee fanfic was actually what got me into writing, and ironically I wrote one-shots for it.

Favorite fic you've written?

That is so difficult to answer. Probably A Spider on the Web and It Turns Out Asexuals CAN Want Sex. And Glowing in the Dark (MCU, Parkner).

I'm tagging @the-writing-merlin, @chaosisorderao3, @pbpsbff, @graham-cracker-guillotine, and whoever else wants!

List of questions under the cut for ease of copy-pasting.

How many works do you have on AO3?

What's your total AO3 word count?

What fandoms do you write for?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Do you get hate on fics?

Do you write smut?

Do you write crossovers?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

What's your all-time favorite ship to write for?

What's A WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

What are your writing strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

First fandom you wrote for?

Favorite fic you've written?

#nachtwächterin talks #tag game

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ageless-aislynn · 1 month

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Tagged by the ever lovely and awesome @swiftzeldas Thanks, hon! 🤗💖

How many works do you have on AO3? 148

What’s your total AO3 word count? 290,660 😵‍💫

What fandoms do you write for? Actively writing for Halo now, but still have some for the Flash to finish up. I've previously also written for Doctor Who.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? "Five Times Oliver Held Felicity (And The One Time She Held Him)" (Olicity, Arrow) "15 Minutes" (John-117/Reader, Halo the series) "Balancing Act" (NSFW) (Tenth Doctor/Donna Noble, Doctor Who) "Side Effect" (NSFW) (John-117/Kai-125, Halo the series) "No Time" (John-117/gender neutral Reader, Halo the series)

Do you respond to comments? I always do and if for some reason I didn't, you can be sure I either didn't see it or something interfered with me in replying and now I've thought I did. That, er, happens more than I wish it would these days. *swiss cheese brain is swiss cheese* 😔🫥🙄

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I very rarely write angsty endings, so they're kinda notable when they happen: "Cold" (Eobard Thawne/Killer Frost, The Flash) (Very short but I've been told it packs a punch. 🥰😉) "Dark/Light" (chapter 1) (Harry Wells/Caitlin Snow, The Flash) (An experimental fic where the dialogue is exactly the same in ch1 and 2 but they tell vastly different stories. 😉) Honorable mention to "Gray Sunflowers" (Caitlin Snow/Hunter Zolomon, The Flash) as a rare one where the entire fic is a metaphor for depression and even though the ending isn't super angsty by any means, it also isn't particularly hopeful either. It's still one of my favorites, though, because I felt like it has a distinctive voice.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm resisting the urge to put "Side Effect" and the, er, multiple "happy endings" that occur in it here, lol! 🤣🤣🤣 Honestly, basically all of my other fics have a happy ending. I might go with "The Thousand and the First" (NSFW)(Eobard Thawne/Caitlin Snow, The Flash) because I wanted it to carry through a complete redemption arc for Eobard and I think it succeeded. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯😉

Do you get hate on fics? So far, no. On vids... oh yeah. 😑

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Um, yep. Lots. I tend to write smut with a funny tone. I've very rarely done a conventional "romance novel" type scene. "Balancing Act" (Ten/Donna, linked above) was one of the first I'd did with that quasi-realistic/funny tone to it.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've only written one so far: "Cold Hands" (Caitlin Snow/Jordan Mahkent, The Flash/Stargirl), which also has a vid, "Gasoline."

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of. Again, a vid? Yes.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not as far as I know.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I don't work well with a co-writer, simply because my muse is so resistant to writing to an outline.

What’s your all time favorite ship? To write? Any variation of Eobard Thawne/Caitlin Snow and the Wells dopplegangers/Caitlin or Killer Frost, The Flash, John-117/Kai-125 and John-117/Reader.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? "Try" (both versions of Eobard Thawne/Caitlin Snow, The Flash). I have 3 chapters completed and it's definitely the fic with the most world-building in it and it would also be the first full-fledged poly fic I've done. But my inspiration for the Flash just got smushed by the show so repeatedly I doubt I'll ever get enough oomph to finish it.

What are your writing strengths? Funny smut? Taking fandoms that are very not domestic and writing domestic fics in them? (I'm looking at you, Halo. Apologies to all of the Halo fans out there who absolutely hate people like me. 🫣I know you're out there but I appreciate you only vague-posting about me/people like me and not calling me out by name.)

What are your writing weaknesses? I don't write plotty fic very well, nor do I stick to canon very often. Worst thing is how easily I can sabotage myself and get convinced that everybody hates what I write. I've had SO many wonderful comments telling me otherwise but mannnnnn, my Evil Inner Editor can make me feel like the worst imposter ever. 😔

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've written for Sherloque Wells a handful of times, most notably "Unrequited" (Sherloque/Caitlin, The Flash) but I had help from a genuine French speaker to make sure it was saying what I thought it was saying, lol! It's not something I would want to do a lot, though, because I don't have a good enough grasp on any other language to feel comfortable with it. I greatly admire those who can, though!

First fandom you wrote for? Lord of the Rings, though it's no longer online anywhere. Doctor Who was my official entrance in the awesome world of fanfic after that!

Favorite fic you’ve written? Well, ask me my favorite child, why don't you? 😮🤣 How about I pick one two that haven't been mentioned so far that I'd love to see get more attention? "Phase Two" (Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Doctor Who) is a sentimental fav and "Offer" (Eobard Thawne/Killer Frost, The Flash) is honestly a world I would've loved to have written more in because I found it so interesting.

Tagging any of my writer friends who see this and would like to do it! *boops your nose politely*

(Boop paw GIF kindly made by @theredtours) 😉

#fic tag game #tag game #ageless aislynn #writing

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tossawary · 1 year

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I grabbed the AO3 stats after midnight on New Year’s, but I haven’t been able to post them until now. I do this at the end of December and on August 19th for my personal record-keeping and to recognize my progress. So, for fun! (August 19th, 2020, is when I started posting on AO3.)

This year, I wrote “A Child Once“ (100,734 words) (minus the first chapter, which was posted on December 30th, 2021), “hey, share the weight a little” (70,355 words), “love to the ones I've never met“ (82,834 words), “forgiveness for whose sake?” (47,712 words), “Sit With Your Soul“ (61,431 words), and “you had me at hello” (5,152 words).

I hit 1,000,000 words in early December this year. 1,094,381 words across 21 fics and 4 art collections. The Scum Villain Stories series, which contains only the fics and not the art collections, is at 1,087,233 words.

Thanks for the fun!

User Subscriptions: 1,271 Kudos: 41,190 Comment Threads: 10,460 Bookmarks: 13,483 Subscriptions: 5,453 Word Count: 1,094,381 Hits: 545,367

pride is not the word I'm looking for (408,397 words)

Subscriptions: 1,174 Hits: 189,572 Kudos: 5,558 Comment Threads: 4,080 Bookmarks: 2,573

A Child Once (100,734 words)

Subscriptions: 1,227 Hits: 85,682 Kudos: 5,497 Comment Threads: 1,328 Bookmarks: 2,008

hey, share the weight a little (70,355 words)

Subscriptions: 499 Hits: 27,311 Kudos: 2,036 Comment Threads: 1,344 Bookmarks: 791

dreams that had never come true (13,823 words)

Subscriptions: 226 Hits: 25,355 Kudos: 3,442 Comment Threads: 252 Bookmarks: 1,145

Babe in the Woods (19,264 words)

Subscriptions: 551 Hits: 23,504 Kudos: 3,291 Comment Threads: 301 Bookmarks: 1,129

Nothing to Me, Nothing to You (59,893 words)

Subscriptions: 256 Hits: 21,403 Kudos: 1,645 Comment Threads: 403 Bookmarks: 637

Catch a Falling Star (121,895 words)

Subscriptions: 55 Hits: 21,100 Kudos: 1,410 Comment Threads: 342 Bookmarks: 795

it must follow, as the night the day (26,341 words)

Subscriptions: 345 Hits: 19,653 Kudos: 1,918 Comment Threads: 206 Bookmarks: 612

love to the ones I've never met (82,834 words)

Subscriptions: 272 Hits: 18,252 Kudos: 1,256 Comment Threads: 618 Bookmarks: 289

forgiveness for whose sake? (47,712 words)

Subscriptions: 161 Hits: 17,649 Kudos: 1,255 Comment Threads: 657 Bookmarks: 220

Horns (11,282 words)

Subscriptions: 77 Hits: 15,019 Kudos: 2,336 Comment Threads: 117 Bookmarks: 798

every haircut I've ever had has been a bad haircut (5,689 words)

Subscriptions: 26 Hits: 12,281 Kudos: 2,079 Comment Threads: 77 Bookmarks: 416

anxiety and caffeine are having a cockfight in my brain (1,772 words)

Subscriptions: 24 Hits: 11,299 Kudos: 2,217 Comment Threads: 58 Bookmarks: 376

ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real (6,842 words)

Subscriptions: 44 Hits: 10,051 Kudos: 1,306 Comment Threads: 47 Bookmarks: 137

this point of pale light (18,435 words)

Subscriptions: 22 Hits: 7,532 Kudos: 670 Comment Threads: 52 Bookmarks: 253

Sit With Your Soul (61,431 words)

Subscriptions: 340 Hits: 6,437 Kudos: 889 Comment Threads: 335 Bookmarks: 354

System Icons (2,701 words)

Subscriptions: 35 Hits: 5,808 Kudos: 364 Comment Threads: 25 Bookmarks: 229

the ability to remain sober and gracious (4,383 words)

Subscriptions: 9 Hits: 5,553 Kudos: 811 Comment Threads: 27 Bookmarks: 154

Absolutely Ineffable (10,058 words)

Subscriptions: 25 Hits: 5,080 Kudos: 721 Comment Threads: 41 Bookmarks: 209

you had me at hello (5,152 words)

Subscriptions: 40 Hits: 4,710 Kudos: 727 Comment Threads: 42 Bookmarks: 51

The Red Cabinet (7,533 words)

Subscriptions: 30 Hits: 4,240 Kudos: 627 Comment Threads: 32 Bookmarks: 138

but that’s fine because I like a hot mess (3,408 words)

Subscriptions: 4 Hits: 2,500 Kudos: 419 Comment Threads: 21 Bookmarks: 100

Scum Villain Valentine's Day Cards 2021 (578 words)

Subscriptions: 3 Hits: 1,916 Kudos: 300 Comment Threads: 24 Bookmarks: 33

Scum Villain Relationship & AU Request Stickers 2021 (2,345 words)

Subscriptions: 7 Hits: 1,859 Kudos: 194 Comment Threads: 14 Bookmarks: 16

MXTX Pride Flag Character Stickers 2021 (1,524 words)

Subscriptions: 1 Hits: 1,601 Kudos: 222 Comment Threads: 17 Bookmarks: 20

#tossawary updates #tossawary svsss #tossawary ao3 #ao3 stats

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leatafandom · 5 months

Text

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag @incorrectcoldflashblog! This was really nice to think about and look at the stats since I don't normally look at them. It was a pleasant reminder.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I've been writing on Ao3 since '19 and I have 116 works right now, hopefully, it'll be 117 by the end of the weekend if I can get my shit together

2. What’s your total A03 word count?

843,577

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supernatural, Spideypool, Merthur, and Buffy Verse (mainly Spangel though)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Distraction: Scars - Rated Mature (1,173 Kudos)

This is a Bad Idea, Rated Explicit (920 Kudos)

Waiting for the Perfect Time, Rated Teen (654 Kudos)

Distraction: Voice(s), Rated Explicit (614 Kudos)

Breakfast, Rated Explicit (427 Kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Always! I might be slow sometimes, but I always respond to a comment. I appreciate them so much. It always makes my day to know someone else besides me enjoyed a story I wrote. I also just love talking about my stories.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hahaha, I write so many sad and angsty things. I normally try to make a happyish ending cause I know people enjoy that (not sure if I always hit the mark, but I try). So this one took me a while to dig through stuff. I think it would be Foolishness? It's pretty sad and tragic. I enjoy it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I live in the bitter-sweet and I don't think I have many that are purely happy. I feel like the happiest of endings will not be published till next year though. I think The Valley Kingdoms is pretty happy. Even if in my mind it's not an end more like a middle, but it is the end of that part of the story.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

No, not yet.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. So much smut.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Hehe, I write crossovers of my own stories. But no not of fandoms.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of as of now.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I've had two fics translated, and I am beside myself with joy that someone wanted to take the time to translate them for others. Wine and Dine is available in Russian as well as some of Learn (I believe they have only done up to chapter 5 of Learn on Ficbooks)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nope, not yet.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

I swoon for Spideypool every single time, forever.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Dude this question is evil right now. I am currently trying desperately to empty my drive of my WIPs (not counting my multi-chapter fics) before switching how I store my stories. I still have so many not-posted works, and I want to finish them all. But, I know I won't. I probably won't finish Once and Future Soulmates. It's an angsty sci-fi meets fantasy Merthur idea I started writing that has a few chapters written, but it's a big project and idk I just haven't gotten to it. As far as posted WIPs I plan on finishing them all.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

World building and that blend of happy sad. I think I'm pretty good at that

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Word choice and like lack of repetition with body movements. I struggle with body movements and tracking.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I typically don't, other than like phrases I know. Writing in character dialogue is hard enough, to be completely honest.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Lord of the Rings! I still have some of it posted on my Ao3 but my old drives and the internet ate the rest of the story and my prequel ;-;

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

It would be a tie between any of the Monster Eater Verse fics and the Common Deadpool Distractions series. I love those verses so so dearly and I re-read them often.

Thank you so much for tagging me this was truly a pleasure to sit and think about and look over the things I've written over the years.

No Pressure Tags: @idabbleincrazy, @hobbyistauthor, @fantasticstoryteller, @maggot-monger and anyone else who would like to <3

#tag games #long posts #writer tag games

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ghostofscarley · 1 year

Text

I posted 431 times in 2022

That's 204 more posts than 2021!

98 posts created (23%)

333 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wolfstardaughter-jj

@boss

@lilyswh0re

@ghostofscarley

@volturiwolf

I tagged 144 of my posts in 2022

#adrian pucey - 39 posts

#y/n - 34 posts

#ghostofscarleytalks - 33 posts

#adrian pucey x reader - 27 posts

#fred weasley - 23 posts

#adrian-pucey - 23 posts

#adrian pucey fluff - 20 posts

#dreamwastaken - 18 posts

#fred weasley x reader - 18 posts

#<3 - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 68 characters

#and thats more than and i can say abt most of the pricks complaining

My Top Posts in 2022:

Those Brown Eyes

Adrian Pucey x Reader

Inspired by 'Those Brown Eyes' - Beetlebug

for the sake of this fic (though i have seen this a lot, idk whether others believe adrian has different coloured eyes) adrian has brown eyes

a/n- this fic is for my hufflepuff boos as (although im a ravenclaw) slytherpuff relationships are just one of my favourites.. also how do y'all play uno bc like, the rules that my family and i play with are what others are usually against.. like for us, its good to have a power card as a last card (like one that just changes colours) bc it doesnt matter what the previous card is (unless its a pick up) but others say you cant finish with it.. yet my family and i have been..

See the full post

55 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

Can I Be Him

Adrian Pucey x Reader, Past!Fred Weasley x Reader

Alternate version of my Fred fic, Enchanted

For the wonderful @rowanoverholt <3

Taglist: @wolfstardaughter-jj @emso12 @pottersbesson @lilyswh0re @cobrakaisb @dayangestre @thiswitchyweirdo @wixabear @14chubs @weasleylovewishes @rottenstyx

word count: 7.1k

See the full post

61 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

Frozen

Fred Weasley x Reader

Inspired by 'Frozen' by Sabrina Claudio

Taglist: @wolfstardaughter-jj @weasleylovewishes @wixabear @14chubs @hehehhe1d @emso12

word count: 1.3k

(so.. this may be a repost.. and that's bc this was previously a theodore nott fic.. however, i think this suits our freddie perfectly and my theo work is discontinued and i wanted to repost this for our boy whilst i plan my next fic <3)

See the full post

117 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY FIC RECS

for the lovely @14chubs and anyone who has been searching for wonderful fics of our beloved pranksters <3 (this is what i can think of off of the top of my head but i'll keep adding and updating the list)

fluff angst

Fred Weasley

Tumblr

yours truly :))

Enchanted a f

Frozen f

Yours Forever Pt 2 f

Photo Album f

Fred Weasley Masterlist

@onlyfreds

After All This Time a f

Masterlist

@httpbakugou

My Girl Bath Time New Addition (cutest little series) f slight a

Hopelessly Devoted To You a f

and just abt all of her work (accesed all in the lovely archive under fred' name)

@weelittleweasley

If You Love Her a f

I Love You, But You Don't a slight f

Masterlist

@george-fabian-weasley

I Hate You a f

Good Reviews and Spilled Potions a f

@saintlike78

My Little Hufflepuff Brave Little Puff a f

Announcement f

I Want You a f

Fred Weasley Masterlist

See the full post

331 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Enchanted

Fred Weasley x Reader

Inspired by the movie 'Enchanted'

Taglist: @wolfstardaughter-jj @dayangestre @cobrakaisb @emso12 @wixabear @robincantfunction @lilyswh0re @dracosluvbot

word count: 8.7k

See the full post

972 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Spotify

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katia-dreamer · 2 years

Text

Fic Masterlist

Please note that many of these will contain spoilers for CR 1!!

One Shots & Drabbles: (Perc’ahlia)

A Friend: (Word Count: 555) Vex is sick, and Percy takes care of her. *Prompt

A Glimpse of Imagined Skin: (Word Count: 193) Vex has a dream about Percy.

A Letter: (Word Count: 498) Vex is gone and Percy discovers a letter.

A Part of You: (Word Count: 533) Percy’s hand hurts and Vex gives him a massage.

A Series of Kisses: (Word Count: 266) Three times Vex kisses Percy, and one time Percy kisses Vex.

A Sunlit Walk: (Word Count: 1072) Percy takes Vex to a clearing he visited as a child.

A Symbol of Home: (Word Count: 825) Percy and Vex discuss the necklace he made her.

All He knows: (Word Count: 70) When Vex laughs, Percy is knocked breathless.

All of You is Magic: (Word Count 294:) Percy has a headache and Vex tries to help.*Prompt

Ambidextrous: (Word Count: 365) Vex notices that Percy uses both his hands.

Beautiful Riot of Vibrant Life: (Word Count: 152) Percy reflects how his life changed after meeting Vox Machina, and Vex.

Beautiful Beyond Description: (Word Count: 928 ) As Vex and Percy get ready for bed, they talk about their respective days, and Percy admires his pregnant wife. *Prompt

Candlelight Kiss: (Word Count: 381) Percy prepares a bath for Vex’ahlia after a long day.

Coffee: (Word Count: 194) Percy joins Vex for breakfast one morning.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask: (Word Count: 279) Vex helps Percy change the bandage on his hand.

Explorations: (Word Count: 336) Vex explores Whitestone Castle and ends up somewhere she’s been avoiding. *Prompt

Feather: (Word Count: 238) Vex drops her feather and Percy returns it.

Fond of Him as Well: (Word Count: 384) Percy and Trinket being friends. *Prompt

Gentle as Silk: (Word Count: 120) A simple and soft moment.

Gold: (Word Count: 280) Vex notices Percy admiring a book in a market.

Height Difference: (Word Count: 107) Vex likes snuggling Percy’s chest. *Prompt

Her Heart is His: (Word Count: 73) Vex reflects on her heart.

Hug: (Word Count: 117) Percy hugs Vex for the first time and she has feelings about it.

High Heels: (Word Count: 295) Vex searches for her high heels. *Prompt

Home: (Word Count: 311) Percy and the word home.

Is this Our Stab Wound? (Word Count: 421 ) Percy is hurt and is stubborn about it.

Is That My Shirt? (Word Count: 239) Vex wakes up in the night and borrows Percy’s shirt. *Prompt

It Suits You: (Word Count: 169) Percy and Vex are shopping and Percy finds a new coat. *Prompt

Jealousy: (Word Count: 476) Vox Machina is out drinking and Percy gets hit on by a stranger. Vex does not take it well.

Just for You: (Word Count: 392) There’s an explosion in the workshop and Vex hurries to investigate.

Keep Me Warm: (Word Count: 546) Percy and Vex sit together under a blanket on a cold night.

Leave the Coat On: (Word Count: 750) Vex and Percy are out hunting and take time to discuss their relationship. *Prompt

Life: (Word Count: 438) Vex tells Percy she’s pregnant.

Lullaby: (Word Count: 524) Vex walks in on Percy singing Vesper a lullaby in Celestial.

Not Casual: (Word Count: 441) When Vex brings Percy supper in his workshop she finds him asleep.

Of Messes and Knights: (Word Count: 602) Vex stumbles upon a mess that Percy and Vesper have made. *Prompt

Path: (Word Count: 64) In a quiet moment, Vex thinks back on the path they’ve taken.

Sharp Things: (Word Count: 164) Vex sees Percy cut his cheek.

Siren Song: (Word Count: 293) Vex admires Percy’s coat.

Succeeded: (Word Count: 336) Vex returns from a cold morning walk and cuddles up in bed with a grumpy Percy. *Prompt

The Sketchbook: (Word Count: 440) Vex thinks Percy is immune to her flirting, but a sketchbook may prove her wrong.

The Winter King: (Word Count: 291) Vex gives Percy a book he’s wanted.

Thief in the Night: (Word Count: 134) One night while everyone is asleep, Vex makes a discovery about her feelings for a certain gunslinger.

Things She Notices: (Word Count: 103) Some of the things Vex notices about Percy.

Touch: (Word Count: 48) Vex wonders what her lingering touches mean.

Under the Sun Tree: (Word Count:78) Vex and Percy have a secret ceremony under the sun tree.

Wondering: (Word Count: 536) Percy can’t stop wondering.

Winter’s Crest: (Word Count: 325 ) After a long day Vex and Percy are very sleepy. *Prompt

Multi-Chapter:

The Best Things Happen While You’re Dancing: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Other TLOVM/ Critical Role Fics:

Cursed: (Word Count: 889) Percy Werewolf AU **cw: mentions of blood and violence

Compliment: (Word Count: 197) Vex is trying on Cass’s new skirt. *Prompt

Everywhere to Him: (Word Count: 164) Trinket thinks back on his family.

Flowers: (Word Count: 550) Keyleth brings Percy flowers in his workshop after they return from Whitestone.

Is that All? (Word Count:746 ) Cass pays an unexpected visit to Vex.

Waiting: (Word Count: 250) Ripley waits for Percy to come to her. **cw: mentions of torture & death

#fic masterlist #masterlist #katie's fic masterlist #katie writes things

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elvensorceress · 1 year

Note

💥🪄🎙 pretty pls my darling 💖

BELOVED 💕💕💕💕

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

Oh, we're starting off hard ball I see. FINE FINE. Actually, this is pretty easy because Entr'acte has 117 kudos *sob* and it's one of my favorites. (Also kind of my fault because I didn't really promote it and that series isn't popular at all and this fic is basically a connecting interlude but regardless...)

Entr'acte is the epitome of Buck lovingly, devotedly taking care of Eddie post-sniper and how lost they both would be without each other. It has two scenes in it that are among my all time favorite ones I've written. The shower scene and the vague otherworldly dream where Eddie sees Chris and Buck mourning him (in a reality where Eddie died after being shot by the sniper.)

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

Does obsessively waiting for nice comments count? 🤣 Idk usually I just get back into writing the next thing. Writing itself is the nice outlet and the therapy for me. Also I bother my wifey and my friends until I can excitedly ramble about it with them 🙃

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

Ummmm any one of them? idk no one has ever done that for one of my fics, but I tend to write massively giant fics that would destroy someone if they tried to read them out loud. Color Him Father would probably be okay though? Or even Aftermath because snarky sassy Eddie is LIFE.

ILYSM 💕💕💕💕

#thank you darling 💕💜💕#jenwyn gets mail #ask box games #jenwyn fic

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phlebaswrites · 1 year

Text

I posted 153 times in 2022

121 posts created (79%)

32 posts reblogged (21%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@phlebaswrites

@phlebasphoenician

@silverutahraptor

@kurakura0-0

@uchihaweek2022

I tagged 152 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#phlebas writes - 122 posts

#naruto - 122 posts

#okay to reblog - 118 posts

#fanfiction - 117 posts

#series: courting culture confusion - 51 posts

#uchiha madara - 38 posts

#senju tobirama - 36 posts

#uchiha izuna - 33 posts

#six sentence sunday - 30 posts

#sunday six - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 72 characters

#shortest fic is 41 words and was written for the three sentence ficathon

My Top Posts in 2022:

Seeing Myself in Your Eyes

Summary:

The will of the gods cannot be hidden.

(Or not for long.)

Rating: Mature Fandom: Naruto Relationship: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara Word Count: 1878 (Complete)

Entry for @madatobiweek2022

Day 3 - October 11: Soulmates | At the riverside

This story is a gift for @emilx311 who wrote the very first 'red eyes are blessed' AU and kindly gave me permission to play in their sandbox.

It's also a gift for peppymint, whose story collection Children of War contains many short stories also inspired by Emilx311's work. Chapter 13 of that collection is where I first saw the idea of Tobirama's happuri being used to hide his eye colour.

Izuna grips the hilt of his sword.

He's been looking forward to this, his first steps onto the battlefield that is the war between his clan and the Senju, to showing nii-san where their true allegiances must lie.

Nii-san dreams of peace and it's a worthy dream, but their clan cannot afford to dream it with him. Theirs is a history written in blood, and Izuna knows - he knows - that they will only be able to rest secure when all the other clans bow to them.

Only then can they have the peace that nii-san wants so much.

Izuna prays that day will come soon, and today is the day when he will add his efforts to making that happen.

Read the rest on AO3.

20 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

Nagato, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru from Darkest before Dawn

avocado was kind enough to draw a scene from chapter 3 of Darkest before Dawn.

I cannot believe how closely this parallels the story, it’s as if you read my mind! Thank you so much!

21 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

Drawn from the statistics page of my published works on AO3, these are for 2022 only. They do not include stories written in previous years.

January 23: 24,340

33 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

The Path Out of Peking

Summary:

Being an ambassador is always a risky venture.

(It's not a job for the fainthearted.)

Shisui's story.

Takes place in 1900.

Rating: Explicit for violence Fandom: Naruto Relationship: Gen, background f/m and m/m Word Count: approximately 10K (Complete and posts one chapter daily)

Sparked by research rather than anyone in particular, though many thanks go to @greencuttingmat who suggested that I write both stories when I was debating between telling Shisui’s story or Shizune’s story for this particular incident in history. The story is also for @dawen who encouraged me to add more snark.

Akira walks back from the telegraph office, dodging the other people on the street.

Utterly unlike the paved streets of Konoha, and littered with the droppings of animals, it makes him miss home fiercely.

Oh, for the enormous trees and the freedom to run through them! For the mountain that can be climbed! For the fires which warm the heart and mind... how he wishes to be in the village once more, celebrating the new year with his family, far from this place of drought and danger.

But that is not his role.

Here in Peking is where Konoha needs him to be, and here is where he must stay until his work is done, he and his family both.

Read the rest on AO3.

39 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Growing Things (and People)

Summary:

Suna is a desert.

But things can still grow and bloom, even under the harshest sun.

Rating: General Audiences Fandom: Naruto, Boruto: Naruto Next Generations Relationship: Gen Word Count: 750 (Complete)

Entry for @sandsibweek

Day 1 - May 9: Village / Family

For @heyitswrenn who encouraged my idea of what Kankurō smells like, @dumbblossom who liked the imagery of my description, and @hellotheremaryrose who got all soft for Shinki and his uncle Kankurō.

This story is also for @bakapandy whose art is how I found out about Shinki in the first place.

Shinki has never known anything other than fear.

Fear of himself, fear of the people around him, it's defined his whole life.

When, terrified of the Kazekage, he'd lashed out, he'd known that he was giving up his life. To attack the strongest shinobi in Suna, Sabaku no Gaara himself... it was the stupidest move that he could have made, but he couldn't help it.

It was instinct, and he'd fully expected to die doing it.

To be held in a warm embrace instead, to be made an offer of teaching, eventually adoption - Shinki doesn't know what to make of it.

He'd said yes, of course he had. He wasn't about to add folly to idiocy after all.

But still, to trust this family is hard.

On days like this though, watching the foremost puppeteer in Suna sit on the steps of the engawa, head bent over a new puppet as curls of wood fall to the ground, it's somehow easier to believe.

Read the rest on AO3.

110 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

4 notes · View notes

afterthegreatunknown · 1 year

Text

I got tagged by @gellavonhamster. Thank you for the tag! This was very fun to do!

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions

1. how many fics do you have on ao3?

117 fics. I used Anonymous before, and due to how it works, I’m not including them in my work count.

2. what is your ao3 word count?

277,879.

3. how many fandoms do you write for and what are they?

Currently, the Persona series (main focus is Persona 1 and Persona 5), and ASOUE/Snicket-verse (I’m lumping ATWQ in due to a lack of works written for it). Past fandoms included Final Fantasy XV, Law and Order, Once Upon a Time, and others not worth mentioning here.

(Under the cut due to length.)

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Because the top five fics aren’t ASOUE/Snicket-verse works, I won’t link them, but I will explain enough for the general idea to be known.

Monkey Men (Persona 1 and Persona 5), 68 kudos. A work focusing on the characters Masao ‘Mark’ Inaba and Ryuji Sakamoto, who are associated/are compare to monkeys in their perspective games, eventually meet, talk, and bond over well, being monkey men (it makes more sense in context).

Hundred Percent Bitter (Persona 5), 68 kudos (again). A work focusing on two characters, Ryuji Sakamoto and Goro Akechi, talking about love, with a too late realization from one of them that fits the title all too well.

But it Rings, and I Rise (Persona 1 and Persona 5), 68 kudos (again!). Two characters, Naoya Toudou and Sumire Yoshizawa, talk to one around, realizing they have a bit more in common than it initially appear, for they went through a life event that changed them forever.

Egotistical Showoff (Persona 1 and Persona 5), 58 kudos. AU Fic- a P1 character, Hidehiko ‘Brown’ Uesugi, f*cks up the timeline by accidentally meeting Goro Akechi, who was seconds away from doing what canon intended him to do (and be). Comes with voice doppelgangers and fatherhood.

Unfinished (Once Upon a Time), 50 kudos. An unfinished (hehe) fic that is an AU/Canon Divergence where Pinocchio/August Booth decides to stick around to be Emma Swan’s older brother, and things go wild from there with other divergences that don’t reflect/affect this divergence. Much.

5. do you respond to comments? why/why not?

I try make sure to respond to comments! I really appreciate the feedback, because after all, someone took time of their day to read my work, and they enjoy it to where they comment on it!

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ASOUE/Snicket-verse wise, Recognition. There’s other ASOUE/Snicket-verse stuff that I can call angsty, but Recognition is the angstiest of all. But if I had to pick one fic with the angstiest ending of all my fics, it’s is the mentioned Hundred Percent Bitter Persona 5 fic. Wrote it in mind to be that way, too.

7. do you write crossovers?

The closest I got to writing a crossover is a Law and Order fic title Lose-Lose Situation, which directly takes dialogue from Hiimdaisy's Persona 4 fancomic (a parody comic of the Persona 4 game itself).

8. have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

No. I got a few comments telling me of mistakes I accidentally looked over, but those were well intended and I felt were not made to be hurtful.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Nope. I don’t think I’m cut out for it. I think I’m more likely to write a fic where it’s the morning after, all cuddles and mundane couple/domestic things.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so. I haven’t check.

11. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12. have you ever co-written a fic?

Also a no.

13. what’s your all-time favourite ship?

ASOUE/Snicket-verse wise, AO3 tells me it’s Hector & Captain Widdershins with three works (I love how it’s the platonic relationship that is my favorite ship for this fandom). AO3 also tells me for Persona, it’s a Persona 1 ship: Ayase Yuka/Mayuzumi Yukino (F/F) with three works (Japanese valley girl equivalent and a former delinquent being [eventual] girlfriends is quite the combination).

14. what’s a wip that you want to finish but you don’t think you ever will?

Unfinished is the big one, because I lost a majority of my drive to work on it, which makes the title very fitting (it sucks too, because I have loads of ideas on diverging the fic from OUAT canon more and only a few got into the final product before I stopped writing for it). ASOUE/Snicket-verse wise, the one that fits the closest is something I call, ‘The Chaperone’. I’m currently rewriting it, and it’s a struggle because I’m still debating what of the OG ‘The Chaperone’ fic can work in the rewrite.

15. what are your writing strengths?

*shrugs*. I write the best when writing smaller works, like ficlets and drabbles, but I’m not sure if that truly counts. I think my strength would be plot? I make sure the plot makes sense from start to end for the readers to get hints (if I drop them), and make sure the conclusion feels natural and not coming out of nowhere and underdeveloped.

16. what are your writing weaknesses?

I got many, but the biggest one is to make sure no one is out of character. That meme of ‘he would not f*cking say that’ is in full effect here (unless it’s meant to be a humor/crack fic, then that goes out the window deliberately). I like to think I got better over the years, especially in the Persona fandom.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I say done in small doses with an accessible source that isn’t Google that is trustworthy, it’s good. In my case, I frequently do it with Spanish. My dad is Mexican and thus speaks fluent Spanish, so I go to him for help (asking casually though). I also have old notes from official dictionaries/books use to learn Spanish, but don’t use it unless I can’t ask my dad.

18. what is the first fandom you ever wrote for?

OUAT. They were posted on a sideblog I eventually deleted, and I can’t really recall what they were about (that’s probably for the better). Interesting enough, the first fic to be posted on AO3 is still an OUAT fic: If Found Please Return. It’s my take of an August and Jefferson scene in the episode Hat Trick shown in promotional photos but cut in the final episode.

19. what’s your favourite fic that you have ever written?

ASOUE/Snicket-verse wise, I got Not Quite a True Platonic Declaration of Love, Recognition (linked in question six) and it’s sequel Reunited, and Don't Think I've Forgotten. These fics I put more time and effort than I originally planned, so that’s why they’re here. Recognition holds a special place in comparison to the others, being one I re-read time to time.

Other favorite fics will have to be Monkey Men, for Mark and Ryuji are some of favorite characters of the Persona Series, and a Final Fantasy XV fic I wrote title Best Not To Question It, for it was inspired by a real glitch my sister and I witness when she was playing the game that had us laughing our ass off (and thinking of that memory now, I still get a chuckle from it).

20. who do you tag?

Because I don’t know and have many people to tag who I feel would want to do this, I say anyone who sees this, and wants to do it, do it.

#ask game #asks game #writer related tag #i have no idea how to tag this

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nellie-elizabeth · 4 years

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Queliot Fic Recs - Master Post (March 11, 2020)

Hi everyone! I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, but now that we’re staring down the barrel of the show’s official ending, I thought I’d finally take the time to post a master fic rec list!

A couple of notes:

This is by no means comprehensive; I’m sure I’m forgetting several lovely fics, and will be updating this list as I remember/find more.

This list will not include WIPs (the only exception being where I rec a completed story that is part of a series, and mention that sequel(s) are still in progress). I will add the WIPs I’m reading once they are complete!

I am open to suggestions from others, so please reblog and add your own recommendations! I would love to add to this and make it a one-stop-shop resource for people looking for something new to read.

When I know the tumblr handle of the author, I have included it. But in several cases I don’t know the author’s tumblr, if they have one - if you have this information to fill in, please let me know and I will update the master post. (Also, if you notice any broken links or mistakes - I did my best, but this thing is hefty and I’m sure there are errors!)

This took me… forever to put together, so if you find it useful, please reblog - and more importantly, please leave comments & kudos on the stories you read!

Link to the Google Doc, if that’s easier for you to read.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sIUMZcIcpnZ1_9T3o7dkqUaqEw0miwNTfTuZjvjGto4/edit?usp=sharing

Hefty rec list under the cut.

Season Three Gapfillers/Deviations from Canon

These stories usually deal with the aftermath of the mosaic in some way. Many of them were written before the revelations of 4x05, but some were written later, and either comply with canon, or deviate from it from that point.

shipping it by Mizzy (@mizzy2k). Mature. 16,344 words. The Muntjac “ships” Queliot and is trying to help them along. What else can I say? There’s angst, there’s love, it’s silly and it’s sincere.

Sense Memories by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 2,616 words. This is an ABO fic, which is not something I would typically read. But I love this author so much that I decided to give it a try. The thing I like about it is the idea of the mosaic timeline leaving a tangible, physical impact on Quentin and Eliot, and how they might deal with the fallout in this more extreme scenario. If ABO isn’t for you, though, proceed with caution.

throw your shadow over me by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 8,187 words. Okay I’m going to recommend basically everything peacefrog has written, but this one is probably my favorite. It’s a super angst-y sex scene between Quentin and Eliot during season three, where Eliot believes this is his last chance to be with Quentin, and is basically dreading the emotional fallout even while it’s happening.

i start spinning (slipping out of time) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Teen. 2,570 words. Before Eliot goes to Margo to discuss the god-killing bullet, he and Quentin have a conversation about Quentin’s choice to stay at Blackspire. Features a heartbreaking memory of their life together at the mosaic, and just generally gorgeous canon-compliant angst.

Promises by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Explicit. 7,751 words. Eliot and Quentin have it out about Quentin’s decision to stay in Blackspire, and hash out their feelings for each other. This one is canon-divergent (and is probably the one-shot I am the most proud of!)

Overthinking It by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Teen. 3,581 words. Eliot finds out about the abyss key, and it prompts a discussion about Quentin and Eliot’s relationship.

Honey You’re On Fire, Let Me Help by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 5,857 words. Quentin accidentally picks up the abyss key… Eliot finds him and does what he can to distract him. This is hot, of course, but also so desperately full of feeling and love. As the summary implies, there is a good deal of depression and talk of suicide in this story, so take care.

Can’t Let Go by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 5,384 words. UGH. This is what SHOULD have happened after Eliot and Quentin remember the mosaic time-line. This is so satisfying and gave me some catharsis in the aftermath of the direction the story has taken in canon.

~~~~~

Post-Season Four Fix-Its

These stories maintain the canon of season four, and continue on from there. They generally involve bringing Quentin back from the dead.

What Matter Where by achray. Explicit. 28,782 words. Eliot becomes Prince Consort of the Underworld. He gets to be with Q when he’s back home, though. This is almost tough to read, because my brain doesn’t want to accept any half-happy endings, any reality where Eliot can’t spend all of his time by Quentin’s side. But on the other hand… Eliot has to make a big, big sacrifice to bring Quentin back, and you definitely feel the gravitas of that.

life ain’t fair (so i guess we’d better cheat) by micksgotkicks (@lovelyquentin). Teen. 1,137 words. This is more of a pre-fix-it. Eliot rages against the heavens for taking Quentin from him, and resolves to get him back. Short and painful. Cathartic.

Being Alive by miss_whimsy (@bambiesque). Gen. 7,022 words. Eliot sends the letter to Quentin with the magical stamp. And when that doesn’t work, he sends a bunch more. This is one of the very few fics on this list that has any connection to season five canon, which I’m not watching. I did watch 5x03, however, and this fic is borne out of Eliot Waugh never giving up - the way we all know it should have gone.

What kind of man (loves like this)? by destielpasta (@queliotpasta). Explicit. 3,160 words. Eliot and Quentin go out dancing. This fic has a certain quality about it that’s difficult to describe - I could just really feel their love for each other jump off the page, specifically in how badly they clearly want to care for each other. This fic also straddles the line between categories - the author describes it as a “fix-it” and it does deal with Quentin’s resurrection in a more immediate way, but the subject matter itself is much more about the aftermath, rather than the actual “bringing Q back from the dead” part.

You’re a Story (I Can Follow) by Page161of180. Mature. 19,695 words. I think everyone’s read this, but how could I not include it? This technically isn’t a fix-it, because it was written before the season four finale confirmed the theory of Quentin’s death. This author, like the collective fandom, assumed that death would be temporary… and thus, this is the story of Eliot being the Orpheus to Quentin’s Eurydice. It is stunning - a gold standard in writing intense grief with a happy ending. Eliot is undone by Quentin’s death here, and has to fight through obstacle after obstacle to get him back - the biggest one being, his own lack of self-worth. There’s also a somewhat-connected sequel/prequel called And Remember What You Were Before (Not Rated, 6,998 words), which is completely worth the read.

(like a perfect picture) in a broken frame by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Not Rated. 20,631 words. Another resurrection/fix-it fic… Really great group dynamics as everyone works on bringing Quentin back, but also a focus on Eliot’s despair. Kind of your standard fix-it, exactly what the characters should have tried to do, in a world where canon hadn’t betrayed us so badly.

life fades (but you remain) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 62,735. Stunning. STUNNING. Eliot finds a way to get Quentin back, but it comes at a cost. The two of them have to work it out. This features some incredibly good angst with a happy ending, scorching sex, a really intriguing OC in an early chapter, and some nice screen-time for the lovely Alice Quinn, to boot.

as it was by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Mature. 3,913 words. Short and sweet - Penny-40 leads Quentin to where he needs to go, and that’s back home to Eliot.

In the Woods Somewhere by pineapplecrushface (@pineapplecrushface). Explicit. 15,528 words. This is the most creative take on a fix-it I’ve seen! The summary outlines the premise best: “Alice being unable to wipe younger Quentin's memory during the timeshare spell had a ripple effect.” Eliot is so desperate for Quentin in this one, and Quentin, from the afterlife, is having to work out how he feels and where he wants to be.

In Which We Grieve by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Teen. 3,413 words. I hesitate to call this a “fix-it” really, since Quentin doesn’t come back to life. But despite that, he and Eliot make it work. This is sad, but cathartic too.

(this is not a) Temporary Love by rizcriz (@sadlittlenerdking). Teen. 20,684 words. A fix-it that includes some intense mosaic feels too, as Margo and Eliot read over some letters/notes written during the mosaic timeline. I also like this one for how the rest of the gang finally notices how sick and worn-down Quentin is, and forces Q and Eliot to take a mental health vacation once Quentin is back in the land of the living!

~~~~~

Post-Season Four/Post-Possession - Not Fix-Its

These stories take place after the events of season four, or, in some cases, after an imagined ending of season four (written before the series finale aired), ignoring season five canon. They are not fix-its in the sense that either a) they ignore Quentin’s death in canon and proceed like it never happened, or b) Quentin’s resurrection happened “off-screen” and is not the focus of the story. These fics often deal with the aftermath, both physical and psychological, of Eliot’s possession. They also usually deal with Quentin and Eliot’s reconciliation after the events of seasons three and four, and sometimes continue through their time as an established couple.

your body (your heart) in his hands by Allegria23 (@allegria23). Explicit. 18,636 words. This fic follows Eliot and Quentin into their future. I’m recommending it specifically for the way it deals with Quentin’s discipline - I’ve never seen a fic tackle the subject in quite this way, and with so much care and gentleness. If you are not a fan of kid!fic, don’t be put off by the premise - Eliot and Quentin are great fathers with amazing kids in this future universe, but the focus really does remain on their romance. This story is part of a series called second time around which is all worth a read, especially the latest part, entitled The Special Dish. The whole series really embodies the romance of effort, and how putting in the time to nurture and grow a relationship is what makes it work.

Be still my foolish heart (i’m almost me again) by Butterfly (@butterflydm). Explicit. 3,754 words. A birthday fic for Quentin - he’s a little overwhelmed by the party held in his honor. He sneaks off to be alone, Eliot follows him, and Q tells Eliot about his discipline.

Living Room, NY by cartographies (@honeybabydichotomy). Teen. 11,254 words. Eliot goes to therapy. I’m recc’ing this specifically for Eliot’s rambling confession of love to Quentin in chapter two. The whole thing is lovely, but that part really knocked me the fuck out.

Imagine being loved by me. by destielpasta (@queliotpasta). Explicit. 11,225 words. Holy moly. This is a top-tier fave for me. It’s about sex, it’s about love, it’s about working through a relationship after trauma. Eliot is touch-starved but can’t be touched - so Quentin and Eliot must get creative.

Yes and Yes and Maybe Yes by hetrez (@hetrez). Mature. 5,542 words. The author describes this as “consent porn, with feelings,” and that’s a pretty good descriptor. Quentin has PTSD because of the Monster, and Eliot’s touch can be triggering for him. They work together to get through it. This is hot, yes, but it’s hot specifically because of how badly Eliot wants to take care of Quentin and make him feel safe.

The Dreamers by hetrez (@hetrez). Teen. 10,143 words. Post-possession, Quentin and Eliot are together but things aren’t smooth sailing. The scene from this story that always sticks in my head is Quentin asking Eliot if he wants to have a family again, like they did before with Arielle and Teddy - and Eliot’s horrifically wrong-footed response: “You’ll get a wife again and we’ll have another baby.” As might be predicted, Quentin doesn’t take that very well… and this story is at least partially working out where they stand, what they both want.

The Drum Beats Out of Time by HMGFanfic (@hmgfanfic). Mature. 68,605 words. This series features two stories: Suitcase of Memories and I Fall Behind. Both are amazing, but I Fall Behind in particular is one of my top-tier favorite fics in the whole fandom. This fic does not pull its punches in terms of the effects of Eliot’s possession, and it makes things really rough for Quentin and Eliot’s relationship. Quentin does a reckless thing, Eliot panics, they hash it out - but it’s not easy, and it’s not so clear-cut. These fics also features glimpses of their life together at the mosaic, and a lovely epilogue that shows how they’ve made progress and are still healing as a couple.

the right time and place by impossibletruths (@impossibletruths). Teen. 3,675 words. Eliot trying to propose to Quentin. It’s sweet and fluffy and good for the soul.

hearts like houses by impossibletruths (@impossibletruths). Explicit. 11,888 words. Quentin and Eliot celebrate Eliot’s birthday, post-possession. They get away for a trip, to try and put their worries behind them. This story is full of so much intimacy and gentleness that it just melts my whole heart.

five times my writing was better than the magicians by micksgotkicks (@lovelyquentin). Teen. 6,019 words. These are just… soft. It’s five different short fics, all with slight variations on the simple concept of Quentin and Eliot reuniting post-possession. There’s no intensive deep-dive, nothing too grim or challenging. It’s just the two of them finding their way to each other again and again. Very healing to read, in light of canon’s (inferior) version of reality.

struck from a great height by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 4,517 words. “Life affirming sex” is the most telling tag on this thing. Post-possession, Eliot and Quentin find their way into each other’s arms. Really hot sex, lots of feelings… everything we deserved at the end of the Monster story-line.

And So Lift Your Spirits by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Explicit. 3,437 words. This was one of the first fics I remember reading in the aftermath of my desperate post-season four feelings, and it hit the spot in the best way. Eliot’s POV - he loves Quentin, but has doubts that he’s actually deserving of something so wonderful, that Quentin could really reciprocate and want to stay. Quentin finds an insanely hot, insanely romantic way to reassure him.

Ten Twenty-Eight by Page161of180. Not Rated. 5,974 words. This is slice-of-life about Quentin Coldwater and how he’s spent Eliot’s birthday, October 28, over the years. It’s told through notes from the Library branch of the Underworld, with added comments from Alice and Penny. It’s weird, but rewarding. I love the record-keeping aspect. This author has a real gift for outsider POV, and this is one of my favorites!

Nights and Mornings by Page161of180. Mature. 6,734 words. Two connected stories, in the aftermath of possession. Quentin doesn’t die, but he does still get back together with Alice, a la 4x12. These stories deal with Eliot’s thoughts on that, and… spoiler… Quentin/Alice is just not meant to be. Quentin makes a different choice.

The Honor of Your Presence by Page161of180. Mature. 18,117 words. Quentin and Eliot get married, and we hear the story from three different POVs… Todd, Rafe, and Marina 23. Random? Yes. Brilliant? Also yes. I love how each POV has a different and distinct literary style. And how even the people who aren’t closest to Quentin and Eliot can see how insanely in love they are with each other.

The Wanting Then, the Needing Now by Page161of180. Not rated. 3,799 words. Alice’s POV, as Eliot is saved from possession, and Quentin falls apart. Basically, Alice realizes where Quentin really belongs. I love the way this author does justice to Quentin’s love for Alice - it’s not a footnote, it’s not an insignificant blip. It’s real, and that doesn’t invalidate the fact that Quentin chooses Eliot. This has a much longer sequel which is also very good - but that story is more Alice-centric and not really focused on Queliot as much, even though they definitely play a part.

Lay Me Down (Pockets Full of Stones) by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Not Rated. 10,024 words. Post-possession, Eliot realizes how badly Quentin has been dealing with things. He’s angry at their friends for not keeping a better eye out - but all that matters right now is finding Quentin and making sure he’s alright. I love this story for how messy their reunion is - how all of their feelings just come spilling out of them without finesse.

(one kiss) it all comes down to this by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Not Rated. 6,391 words. True Love’s Kiss… the boys need to talk about their feelings, and a curse forces the issue. This is so entirely my jam.

box of chocolates by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Mature. 9,256 words. This short series begins with the Teen-rated for love (if it finds you worthy) and features Eliot asking Quentin to be his valentine. Because Quentin and Eliot are… Quentin and Eliot, it still takes them a little while to get their shit together, after that.

when lips and skin remember by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 6,163 words. This is for the monthly prompt challenge - “blindfolds” and features Quentin helping Eliot through some sensory issues, post-Monster possession.

an end (but the start of all things that are left to do) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 2,388 words. Birthday smut! Q is alive and gets a blowjob, as the universe requires.

the one with the dog by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 80,517 words. If you haven’t already read this series, what are you waiting for?? It is IDEAL for soothing the soul. Eliot and Quentin deal with the aftermath of their trauma, both physical and mental. They hang out at the condo in New York, they take care of an adorable dog named Lady Desdemona, they have lots of hot sex of course. They heal. Every single one of the twelve stories in this series is worth reading, but my favorites are probably (this is) the beat of my heart (Explicit, 11,700 words), Five Card Draw (Explicit, 3,531 words), all the way home I’ll be warm (Explicit, 15,640 words), and Come What May (Teen, 3,352 words).

5 Scenes from a Road Trip by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 16,218 words. In the aftermath of season four (sans Quentin’s death), the boys need a change of scenery to begin healing and finding their way back to one another. I love how this fic shows their closeness, and how the boundaries of their relationship often defy description. They love each other beyond sex, beyond conventional romance - although they achieve those things, too, as they definitely deserve.

did you know my baby loves me? by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 7,776 words. Quentin tops Eliot on his birthday. What it says on the tin. But as always with this author, even something that should be ostensibly a PWP is filled with so much feeling and love that you could just drown in it.

To Learn to Be Again by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 18,295 words. “I don’t think- I can’t be anyone’s boyfriend right now, Eliot.” Eliot loves Quentin, Quentin loves Eliot, but that’s not always enough to give them a happily ever after. Quentin goes to therapy, deals with his trauma and his mental health, and Eliot is right there beside him with no expectations. This is so, so lovely and every ounce of their happiness feels earned and all the more precious for the pain that’s mixed up with it.

do not go gentle by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 10,260 words. This is almost a fix-it, in that Quentin imagines the events of 4x13, but they don’t actually happen. So be warned if any depiction of Quentin’s death is a trigger for you. I love the way this story deals with the Alice of it all, and also the way Quentin and Eliot talk through their situation and find a way back to each other once again. (Also shower sex happens). This author has written multiple versions of this same reconciliation, but each one is so lovely and I’ll never get sick of it.

the strange act of living by propinquitous (@propinquitous). Explicit. 13,632 words. So there are a lot of fics out there that deal with the aftermath of Eliot’s possession of course. A lot of fics that feature Eliot and Quentin slowly, painfully, finding a way to reconcile. This one holds a special place in my heart for this particular moment, where Quentin walks past Eliot without saying anything, grabs a muffin from the counter, and leaves the room. Later, Q finds Eliot crying in the shower, and Eliot asks him why he just left, taking the food Eliot had made for him, and then ignoring him. That one moment has stuck with me ever since I read the fic, and I keep coming back to it. In all, this captures a very specific kind of hurt that both Quentin and Eliot are feeling, and gets them on the path to healing. Gorgeous.

the safety of others by propinquitous (@propinquitous). Teen. 8,122 words. Quentin doesn’t die in 4x13, but he does get injured. And Eliot keeps vigil. This is - so powerful. I don’t even know how to describe it. Just read it, please.

Magic Curses by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Explicit. 134,886 words. This series includes six stories, each dealing with Quentin and Eliot’s relationship as they undergo external threats from creative and somewhat evil magical curses. It’s my attempt to write in some more hurt/comfort to the fandom, and also to indulge in some established-relationship goodness! The first story, Lover’s Touch (Explicit, 24,781 words), is summarized thusly: “Q gets cursed, and Alice can’t help. Magic forces Q and Eliot to cuddle and talk about their feelings.”

Coming Home by rizcriz (@sadlittlenerdking). Not Rated. 2,958 words. Short and sweet. The author succinctly describes this as: “Eliot gets to be brave.” And he does. He says the thing he wants to say to Quentin, and Q eventually believes him.

Enough by SabbyStarlight. Teen. 2,746 words. This was written just before 4x13 came out. If only if only this is how it had gone instead… basically just Quentin and Eliot talking about their feelings, negotiating their relationship.

Boyfriend by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Teen. 6,727 words. Quentin is sensitive about the fact that Eliot isn’t introducing him as his boyfriend. This is just… the sweetest. I love that there’s some jealousy and insecurity, but it’s a manageable, reasonable type - Eliot and Quentin are able to talk about it and get past this small bump in the road.

Hunger by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 4,327 words. Quentin gets a birthday blowjob. The end. :)

~~~~~

Mosaic Timeline

These stories are ones that take place almost or entirely within the mosaic timeline - both in keeping with, and in deviation from, what we see in 3x05.

help me hold onto you by ameliajessica (@ameliajessica). Explicit. 14,768 words. This one will hurt your heart, but it’s so rewarding. Featuring Eliot being ridiculously turned on by talking about feelings during sex… and Quentin loving Eliot while grieving for Arielle.

‘Cause my baby’s sweet as can be by destielpasta (@queliotpasta). Teen. 645 words. Tiny fic - maybe the shortest one on the list. Quentin and Eliot are bad at talking about their feelings. Who’s surprised?

flowing all this time by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 5,488 words. This is one of those fics where Arielle isn’t an obstacle for the boys… but rather, Eliot is an obstacle for Quentin and Arielle, in a way. It has some bittersweet moments, but I love how much Eliot loves Quentin here. This is also (spoiler) the rare fic where Arielle chooses to leave, rather than dying.

a cure i know (that soothes the soul) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 4,857 words. Little snippets of Quentin and Eliot’s life through the years at the mosaic. Recc’ing especially for middle-aged Queliot, which we see all too little of in this fandom!

measure in love by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 51,827 words. This is a series about Quentin, Eliot, and Arielle’s lives together at the mosaic. I don’t know if the author plans to write more in this series or not, but each one can stand alone. I am particularly enamored with The Ways We Fit Together (Explicit, 11,661 words), which is summarized succinctly as “sex and love in the mosaic timeline”, and You Steer My Heart (Explicit, 25,217 words), which follows Eliot’s mindset as he watches Quentin and Arielle fall in love with each other, while Quentin and Eliot continue to love each other as well. It’s stunning, and probably my favorite take on the three of them and their polyamorous relationship. This series has everything - the best combination of smut and feelings you could hope for.

Running All This Time by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Explicit. 179,478 words.The story of the mosaic timeline, built on the foundation of love and communication. To my knowledge, the only completed mosaic long-fic in the fandom thus far! Includes Fillorian nonsense, a quest within a quest, plenty of sex, lots of hurt/comfort, a different take on Arielle, and happy endings for everyone.

Reciprocal by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Teen. 8,259. Eliot is an idiot about his feelings (what else is new?), and he tries to make things better in the worst possible way. This fic imagines a world where Eliot and Quentin find happiness together without Arielle as a part of their romantic/sexual lives.

my heart is thrilled by the still of your hand by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 9,586 words. This is the porn-iest version of “Quentin and Eliot don’t know how to talk about their feelings.” Basically, the boys keep jerking off next to each other in bed, and they don’t talk about it because they’re IDIOTS.

you know that’s my love (bursting loud from inside) by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 11,904 words. Another fic where Arielle decides to leave. Eliot is so good at taking care of his family.

tomorrow past tonight by vegansheilseitan. Explicit. 7,676 words. Okay - if you’re only going to read one gap-filler for 3x05, that’s basically just the missing sex scene and nothing else, make it this one. It’s hot, and it’s aching with everything Quentin and Eliot aren’t saying to each other. This is one of my absolute favorites.

~~~~~

Brakebills Alternate Universe / Season One

These stories are generally, but not always, pure relationship fics where the plot concerns of canon (i.e. the Beast, and time loops) do not exist, and instead Quentin and Eliot get to be magical grad students together, and fall in love.

Every Blessed Thing by achray. Explicit. 7,795 words. Quentin turns himself invisible. This fic is complex in how Alice and Quentin’s relationship is portrayed, and the resolution isn’t clear-cut. I really like this characterization of both Quentin and Eliot.

saturate the atmosphere (wake me from a dream) by Allegria23 (@allegria23). Explicit. 7,394 words. This is some good ol’ sexy times with a healthy dash of feelings. Eliot involuntarily levitates them while Quentin’s giving him a blowjob, so… that’s honestly all you need to know about this one. Go give it a read.

i feel it in my body, know it in my mind by ameliajessica (@ameliajessica). Mature. 11,817 words. Let’s pretend that this is what happened in 1x03, okay? Kady doesn’t interrupt when Eliot pours Q a drink, and sex ensues. I love how flabbergasted Eliot is by everything that happens - especially his reaction to the news that Quentin isn’t straight, and isn’t going to be squeamish at the thought of sleeping with a man. So hot, so cute.

if being him is who you are / say it loud say you know you are by ameliajessica (@ameliajessica). Mature. 5,293 words. Okay, holy shit. Mike’s POV - he decides that he and Eliot should have a threesome with Quentin, so Eliot can get it out of his system. Uh. Yeah, that backfires. Poor Mike. But also - the sex in this is the epitome of tenderness and love. Eliot is so careful with Quentin, so awed and desperate and shaky at the chance to be with him. There is a sequel in the works, too, so watch out for that!

Hedonism for Beginners by ceeainthereforthat (@ceeainthereforthat). Explicit. 20,730 words. A series of filthy sex, basically. Eliot is teaching Quentin about what he likes in bed. I don’t know if the series is abandoned or not, but in any case, each of these works on its own as a PWP but with a deep undercurrent of feelings.

Something Good by HMGFanfic (@hmgfanfic). Teen. 162,260 words. The Gold Standard slow-burn rom-com AU! Seriously, I know everyone’s read this, but if you haven’t for some reason… please do. The slow-burn is so slow you’ll be tearing your hair out by the end, but it’s all worth it when you get to the catharsis. How oblivious can Quentin be about Eliot’s feelings? This fic asks and answers that question, and the answer is - very. There are also two fics that accompany the main story: Someone Good (Eliot’s POV of the main story) and Somewhere Good (future one-shots of Quentin and Eliot’s life together). Both are on hiatus but the author plans to return to them. You can read the existing chapter of each without feeling like anything is unfinished, though.

Not Always Folly by HMGFanfic (@hmgfanfic). Explicit. 262,583 words. Another amazing romantic… comedy? but this one is from Eliot’s POV and is in some ways more a character study of Eliot Waugh than it is simply a romance. Although the romance… you guys… the pining levels are off the charts. Eliot ends up hurting Quentin, and really everyone else he cares about, in this story, but he puts in the work to make it right. I admire this fic for diving deep into Eliot’s psyche while also delivering on an amazing slow-burn of a different sort. Bonus points for Alice and Eliot getting to be friends like they deserve!

Be kind by longnationalnightmare. Explicit. 10,069 words. It’s the highest kudo’d fic in the fandom! I assume that means you’ve all read it? This is a PWP, but I love it specifically for how much Eliot loses his usual control when he’s with Quentin.

to be unbroken or be brave again. by milominderbinder (@disasterbiquentin). Teen. 14,135 words. Hey, it’s a 10 Things I Hate About You AU! Kind of! Josh asks Quentin to pretend to date Eliot to cheer him up after a breakup, so that Margo will go out with Josh. But Q tells Eliot what’s up right away - so they’re fake dating but real feelings happen. Super cheesy, of course, but it hits the spot!

in the world full wrong (you’re the thing that’s right) by Mizzy (@Mizzy2k). Explicit. 5,307 words. Eliot tries to hook up with Quentin Coldwater and gets more than he bargained for. I love this for how matter-of-fact Quentin is, about the fact that Eliot wants to seduce him… and then hpw he ends up doing some seducing of his own.

If You Haven’t Yet by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Explicit. 5,828 words. Obviously we all love confident Eliot Waugh totally rocking Quentin’s world… but I have a soft spot for oddly confident Quentin who really knows what he’s doing, and this fic has the perfect blend of both dynamics. The best part is Quentin slowly and methodically undressing Eliot and not letting him help. It’s… whew. *fans self*

the heat that drives the light by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 9,296 words. Quentin and Eliot have an antagonistic relationship, until Eliot realizes Quentin might be what he’s looking for in a sexual partner. Sub Eliot, new-to-being-a-Dom Quentin. Super hot.

it started out with a kiss (how did it end up like this) by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 7,896 words. In the aftermath of a bad breakup, Quentin and Eliot find their way to each other. This is super amazing all on its own, but the author is also working on a sequel that I’m really enjoying thus far. Either story could probably be read without the other, too.

the bridge between us by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 16,201 words. Dom Eliot, Sub Quentin. Quentin and Eliot navigate their BDSM sex life, but also their feelings. Eliot is so tender and soft with Q, and Q learns to take care of Eliot in return. This is one of my absolute favorites from this author. Also, as a note, there’s a “prequel” to this fic called paint it red (Explicit, 7,197 words) that could totally be read as a separate piece, but is worth checking out as the origin story of how these two got together and started shaping their dynamics, sexual and otherwise.

(Everyone Has) That Drawer by ProofOfConcept and wilddragonflying. Explicit. 5,782 words. Eliot finds Quentin’s stash of sex toys. It’s enough to get him to finally act on their mutual, unspoken attraction. Hot!

Wake Me Up by rizcriz (@sadlittlenerdking). Not Rated. 4,000 words. Quentin has sleep apnea, but Eliot doesn’t know that… and he gets a little - alarmed. This is objectively an odd premise, but it’s incredibly sweet. rizcriz has about a million stories and I’ve read a lot of them, but I’m a fan of the ones like this, that take a specific concept and run with it, sort of like slice-of-life. Check out more of their work, though, I can’t possibly put them all on the list!

Migraine Mastery by SabbyStarlight. Not rated. 2,012 words. Short and sweet - Quentin has a migraine and Eliot helps.

Between Friends by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 15,019 words. This is the quintessential (Quentin-sential?) Brakebills get-together fic. It’s a party, Quentin and Eliot end up going to bed together… both of them are a little uncertain about what this means, but they work it out. Recc’ing for the hot sex, but even more for the “wake up in the middle of the night to have a tender round two without talking about what it means” sex.

Sex Magic by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 42,006 words. Uhh… what it says on the tin. Every one of these is scorching, but my favorite is probably the first one: How Easy You Are To Need.

All Of You A Verb In Perfect View by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 6,398 words. PWP where Eliot distracts Quentin while he tries to do his homework.

You Can Devastate Me by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 9,018 words. Marqueliot sex scene - Quentin and Eliot are a couple, but Margo is running the show. Just… hot, but of course Eliot’s love for Quentin still permeates the whole piece. So much tenderness, with so much filth.

~~~~~

Alternate Universe (No Magic)

So many of these seem so completely random in premise, but they’re all amazing!

Our Sublime Refrain by destielpasta (@queliotpasta) and mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 233,929 words. It’s 1836, Eliot is a pianist. This one is Marqueliot, y’all, and let me tell you - it is a journey. If you are somewhat put off by the idea of an AU so far removed from canon, about a topic you know very little about… please give this a try. I was a little hesitant too, but I promise it will not disappoint.

Pretty Good Year by Hth (@spiders-hth-is-an-outlier). Explicit. 175,728 words. I’m not going to lie - this is a difficult fic for me. It’s stunning, but getting through it was an incredibly emotional, challenging journey. While many fics in this fandom deal with Quentin’s mental illness, I’ve never seen a fic talk about it quite like this one. That’s not to put you off from trying it if you haven’t already - this is one of the most achingly real stories I’ve ever read, and it will reward you for giving it a chance.

opening doors by impossibletruths (@impossibletruths). Mature. 52,230 words. Quentin is a playwright! Eliot is an associate director who used to act! This is a slow-ish burn, and the worldbuilding of the characters in a theatrical setting is so fun!

couch party verse by marcel. Mature. 33,725 words. These two stories feature Quentin, Eliot, and the rest of the gang at a non-magical grad school. The thing I love about these stories is how slow and realistic the escalation of the relationship feels. It’s not a hot hookup right away - they clearly like each other, but circumstances sometimes get in the way, and there’s also no big rush to the finish line. This is a softer, gentler universe that still has its own realism and trauma, too. I hope the author chooses to add to it someday!

Saltwater by mtothedestiel (@summersteve). Explicit. 35,560 words. It’s a pirate AU! What more could you possibly need to know? I love how all of the characters and locations are cleverly repurposed here - the Whitespire and Our Lady Underground are ships, Quentin is a ship’s doctor, Eliot is a captain, etc. And the slowburn between Quentin and Eliot is masterful. This is actually a series - part one is complete, and part two is in progress.

A (Gingerbread) House that we can Build by mtothedestiel (@summersteve), with art by eliotsvests (surprisegents). Explicit. 28,189 words. I am not a cheesy Christmas movie person, and I am not a kid!fic person. So I thought this might not be the story for me, at first. But I’m so glad I clicked on it - this is a story about second chances, and finding happiness when you aren’t even looking for it. And I love the way little Teddy is written here. He’s got all the sweetness of Quentin Coldwater’s son, without tilting over into being saccharine. This is just the right amount of sweet if you want to put yourself back in the holiday spirit.

I’ll Follow My Secret Heart by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Mature. 17,613 words. I don’t really know how to describe this one… it’s weird! It’s a meet cute, Eliot gets in an accident, there’s a blizzard, bed (floor) sharing so as to prevent freezing to death, Eliot is kinda famous and Quentin doesn’t know. All I can say is, this is precious, and odd, and I got totally swept up in the world.

I Need You So Much Closer by OrchardsinSnow (@orchardsinsnow). Explicit. 14,436 words. I love this story. Eliot is a musician, he and Quentin are exes from years ago, who fell apart because of Eliot’s alcoholism. But he’s sober now, and he’s touring where Quentin lives - so they reconnect. Eliot calls Quentin the “smoke show love of [his] life” at one point in this fic, and that phrase just… stuck with me in the best way. Don’t miss the mini-sequel, You Need Me So Much Closer (Explicit, 3,874 words), either. I really hope the author writes more in this universe!

Experimentation by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 4,812 words. PWP where Eliot meets Quentin at a sex shop and Eliot teaches him what he’s into. Hot hot hot.

(i just might) remember that night by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 4,732 words. This might be crack, I don’t know. There are dick pics, and it’s silly, but also Quentin and Eliot feel this amazing connection to each other right off the bat, and that is honestly my jam.

and if tomorrow it’s all over (at least we had it for a moment) by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Explicit. 45,461 words. Quentin and Eliot were a couple in high school, but they haven’t seen each other in years. They run into each other again at Julia’s wedding, and everything comes rushing back. I like the fact that this fic features very little (if any) angst. The idea is that these two people missed out on their chance to be together, but they haven’t been desperately pining for years. But once they’re back in a room together… their connection is undeniable. Also, the sex is great.

hold me like a (liar) lover does by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart) with art by Doomkitty25. Explicit. 80,812 words. A holiday fic! Fake dating! Mutual pining! So tropey and excellent. Really hot sex, as is the norm for this author! Warning for Alice being something of a villain in this piece, although there’s a potential reconciliation implied right at the end. I love this fic for going beyond just the romance, and also telling a story about Quentin and Eliot’s careers, and what they want out of their lives - in terms of romance, yes, but in terms of their work lives as well.

Ask Me, I Won’t Say No by vegansheilseitan. Explicit. 22,616 words. A… pub trivia AU? Which is a thing I didn’t know I needed? Mostly this is about widower!Quentin, with a kid, meeting Eliot Waugh. They fall in love. The sex in this is incendiary, but the growing relationship between these two is what really makes it worth the read.

~~~~~

Alternate Universe (With Magic)

These stories feature roughly the same worldbuilding as the show’s canon, but the character’s journeys deviate significantly. Maybe Quentin and Eliot don’t meet at Brakebills, or their journey to getting there is different in some other way!

fire and life by everytuesday. Teen. 7,060 words. This is a high school AU, where Eliot discovers his magic, and accidentally kills his father. Quentin helps him to bury the body. It’s a little bit dark, obviously, given that description… so take care.

First Year by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Mature. 11,957 words. Quentin is a Brakebills student, who also happens to be a sylph from Fillory. He has wings, and Eliot is more than a little intrigued. The author may have plans to write a sequel!

push me (further than i thought i could go) by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 15,036 words. Quentin and Eliot meet at a game of Push, and then have their own private contest later on. Mostly recommending this one for the sex, but also for Confident Quentin Coldwater, and for the fact that no matter the circumstances, these boys are gone for each other pretty much right away.

Hedges, Bitch by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 56,568 words. This series has four works, the longest “main” story of which, theón kai andrón, is another personal favorite of mine. It features Eliot as the leader of a coven of hedge witches, and Quentin as a magical novice who didn’t make it into Brakebills. I love the dynamic between Quentin and Eliot in these stories, as they fall naturally into a dom/sub relationship, but Eliot works to make sure the power differential between them doesn’t adversely affect things, either on the job, or in their personal lives. Eliot is just so soft for Quentin in these stories, while also admiring him and depending on him as the gang gets themselves caught up in a dangerous threat to hedges all over the world.

~~~~~

Fillory/Royalty

These stories are sometimes canon deviations, and usually deal with Eliot as the High King, and his relationship with Quentin from there.

oh this is us, this is love and this is where I sleep by buckybunnyteeth. Explicit. 4,360 words. Quentin is jealous of Idri! Eliot is way, way too delighted about it. Really hot. I probably shouldn’t be as charmed by jealous!Quentin as I am. But this is amazing.

Make a list of things you need by longnationalnightmare. Explicit. 10,264 words. Eliot and Quentin are getting married, but Eliot’s okay with keeping it platonic. Quentin… is not. Hot, hot, hot.

i’d be the last shred of truth (in the lost myth of true love) by milominderbinder (@disasterbiquentin), with art by gilestel. Eliot and Margo are made the High Kings of Fillory, and then later Eliot meets a cute Brakebills professor Quentin Coldwater, who is staying at Whitespire for research. There’s a truth curse! Eliot is set to marry Idri, but uh-oh, feelings happen! Tropey as hell, super cute.

and this is the map of my heart by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 14,033 words. Eliot is High King, and he is expected to marry. Quentin magnanimously offers himself for the position, and of course there’s angst about that. And scorching hot sex. And Eliot struggling to be emotionally vulnerable. One of my absolute favorites from the author.

whitespire by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 1,529 words. Eliot sits on his throne, Quentin drops to his knees and calls him “Your Majesty.” So… yeah. Yum.

~~~~~

Brian and Nigel

This is an area where more content needs to exist! Send me a note if there are some I’ve missed.

A Little Disguised, or a Little Mistaken by Page161of180. Mature. 17,807 words. Brian and Nigel find each other, and fall in love. This is gorgeous. Quentin and Eliot are recognizably themselves, but also just different enough that when their real selves start poking through the memory wipe, you can feel the change coming. Another story where canon comes along and steals happiness right out from under them. They were so close!

Shine Through My Memory by PanBoleyn (@eidetictelekinetic). Mature. 61,311 words. This one starts as a fic about Brian and Nigel meeting and falling in love… and then the Monster still possesses Nigel/Eliot, and the events of season four continue from there. But with memories of Brian and Nigel’s love in Quentin’s head, things play out a little differently. We follow the story all the way through to Eliot getting saved by Margo and Quentin, and the reconciliation/reunion afterwards. This fic has a little of everything, and it’s really the only re-telling of season four I’ve seen that covers the canon plot while adding something new and unique to the story!

Reaching in the Dark by sirfoxheart (@sirfoxheart). Mature. 53,040 words. Eliot remembers who he is, but Quentin thinks he’s Brian. Eliot and Alice work together to protect Quentin from the Monster. This is so complex and difficult and sad and challenging, and when you reach the end, you’ll feel so frustrated about how close they were to figuring their shit out. But ultimately, canon comes back to snatch that happy ending away.

~~~~~

Other

The few fics that I couldn’t categorize neatly into any of the above sections.

So It May As Well Be Me by achray. Explicit. 14,596 words. There was only one bed. Trapped in a closet. Sex pollen. Sex magic rituals. Every fanfic trope becomes manifest. Quentin seems oblivious; Eliot is freaking out. This is just the epitome of fun.

our place in the family of things by greywash, with art by yourtinseltinkerbell (@yourtinseltinkerbell). Explicit. 208,582 words. This is sort of a Brakebills AU, I suppose, but it takes place after Eliot has graduated. Quentin comes to visit over the holidays. So here’s the thing about greywash’s prose - they are stunning. They are dense, and complex, and almost hard to read - but I mean that as the highest compliment. This story, and really all of this author’s work, rewards careful study. This story has so, so much to offer. So if you haven’t given it a shot, or you’re intimidated by the length, please give it a try. Featuring Eliot’s complex relationship with his mother, with religion, with his sexuality, with Quentin, with Margo. Featuring a story of queer love that transcends time and convention. Featuring some excellent worldbuilding, especially as concerns Quentin’s family, and Eliot’s career. Featuring beautiful accompanying artwork. Featuring a proposal scene that knocked me the fuck out. Featuring love, in every way.

To Give You Hope and a Future by Page161of180. Not rated. 4,374 words. I couldn’t put this in the fix-it category, or in the mosaic category, or really even in the post-season four category. It’s all and none of those things. Eliot, in the aftermath of Quentin’s death, goes to the mosaic and talks to old man Quentin, who is grieving his husband. This is sad, y’all. But cathartic, too.

Cheat Day by peacefrog (@lizardkingeliot). Explicit. 1,624 words. Set during season four. Quentin misses Eliot, and does something sad and dangerous. Short and… well, sweet is the wrong word. This one will punch you right in the gut.

Movement by pineapplecrushface (@pineapplecrushface). Explicit. 17,036 words. These are three stories that are only loosely connected in that they are about sex, and introspection. They fit into lots of categories - parts of them take place in Eliot’s happy place, parts at the mosaic, parts in the aftermath of possession. All three stories in the series are scorching hot and full of so much feeling. I really admire how they weave through time, following the changing dynamics through the events of canon in a really unique way.

darkness, welcoming by portraitofemmy (@portraitofemmy). Explicit. 17,748 words. I almost put this in the Alternate Universe (With Magic) section, but this is not the same world as canon. Eliot is a vampire! He saves Quentin’s life and then… uh… well, they fall in love, and there’s some blood play. Eliot is super smitten, and it’s precious. Also really hot.

What Was and What Will Be by ProofOfConcept and wilddragonflying. Mature. 35,996 words. This is part mosaic-fic, part post-possession fic… it’s basically just another story of these two idiots being so bad at communication, but finally getting it right. A really satisfying journey, encompassing so many elements of what we all wished for in canon. I especially loved the long and difficult conversation they have during their reunion. The line that really punched me in the gut was: “fuck you for saying ‘I love you’ for the first goddamn time when you’re breaking up with me.”

kiss me harder, you’re better than you know by propinquitous (@propinquitous). Explicit. 4,633 words. This could easily take place in a nebulous post-season-four world, but it exists in its own little bubble and could really slot into any given universe. It deals with Quentin’s depression in a really direct, really devastating way, but also features Eliot being there for Quentin as best as he can. As the tags say, “not the healthiest of coping mechanisms.” But it’s filled with so much tenderness I can hardly stand it.

To Feel the Same by Rizandace (@Nellie-Elizabeth). Teen. 1,725 words. A small gap-filler at the end of the “I think you should probably hug me right now” scene in 2x01.

#the magicians #queliot #fic recs #my posts #this took me forEVER #so please reblog and add your own suggestions!#also yes i did put my own fics on here... i'm proud of them and want more people to find them!#117 fics & series (and counting!)#the links seem to be working on mobile #but not desktop #which is annoying?#but that's tumblr for ya

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smileysuh · 3 years

Text

Smileysuh’s numbered fic collection :)

✘ [genre] : smut 18+ ✘ [word count] : 1 million & 83.7k ✘ [m.list below] : Newest to Oldest ✘ [directories] : NCT & SVT

2024 - [wc] 106.3k

#124: comfort cuisine - johnny - bonus ›[wc] 10.8k [18+] smut; big dick johnny, etc. ›[au] aged up/chef john & friends to lovers

#123: nerd - wonwoo - bonus ›[wc] 3.9k [18+] smut; toys, blow job, etc. ›[au] established relationship & gamer!Wonwoo

#122: ghost house - haechan - bonus ›[wc] 8.3k [18+] smut; vouyerism, switch!hyuck etc. ›[au] ghost!hyuck & witch!reader

#121: crossroads - mingyu & wonwoo - bonus ›[wc] 19.8k [18+] smut; threesome, blindfold, etc. ›[au] biker!Meanie & neighbours au

#120: devil’s girl - seungcheol - bonus ›[wc] 7.2k [18+] smut; oral, impreg kink, etc. ›[au] arranged marriage & demon king cheol

#119: heart aches - jaehyun - bonus ›[wc] 5.3k [18+] smut; foreplay, vanilla jae, etc. ›[au] ex’s to lovers & non idol au

#118: love plug - johnny - bonus ›[wc] 7.9k [18+] smut; 69, size kink, etc. ›[au] plug!Johnny & Valentine’s Day

#117: love, cupid - mingyu - bonus ›[wc] 13.4k [18+] smut; oral, size kink, etc. ›[au] cupid!mingyu & soulmate au

#116: real talk - mark - bonus ›[wc] 19.4k [18+] smut; oral, toys, etc. ›[au] line chef!Mark & slow burn

#115: penance - 95′s & meanie - bonus ›[wc] 21.2k [18+] smut; orgy, filth, etc. ›[au] apocalypse au & priest!Joshua

2023 - [wc] 279.7k

#114: christmas puppy - jaehyun - bonus ›[wc] 11k [18+] smut; fingering, phone sex, etc. ›[au] secret relationship & best friend’s brother

#113: after the seminar - wonwoo - bonus ›[wc] 6.3k [18+] smut; soft dom, blow job, etc. ›[au] established relationship & sugar daddy

#112: night terror - seungcheol - bonus ›[wc] 4.2k [18+] smut; bathroom sex, oral, etc. ›[au] established relationship & sugar daddy

#111: seeing double - Johnny x 2 - bonus ›[wc] 6.9k [18+] smut; threesome, oral, etc. ›[au] supernatural & demonic

#110: Send in The Clowns - JaeHyuckMark - bonus ›[wc] 10.6k [18+] smut; foursome, orgy, etc. ›[au] frat & halloween/clown

#109: creep - mingyu - bonus ›[wc] 9.1k [18+] smut; vouyerism, oral, etc. ›[au] halloween/yandere & ghost

#108: ghostie - johnny - bonus ›[wc] 15k [18+] smut; size kink, dumbification etc. ›[au] frat & halloween/ghostface/yandere

#107: twisted fate - wonwoo - bonus ›[wc] 14.3k [18+] smut; blood play, overstim, etc. ›[au] vampire/yandere & enemies to lovers

#106: forget him - haechan - bonus ›[wc] 7.1k [18+] smut; overstim, masturbation, etc. ›[au] roommates to lovers & recent breakup

#105: the alpha’s right hand - mingyu - bonus ›[wc] 14.4k [18+] smut; praise, exhibitionism, etc. ›[au] a/b/o

#104: rogue - wonwoo - bonus ›[wc] 15.5k [18+] smut; oral, exhibitionism, etc. ›[au] 70′s au & collab

#103: racer - jaehyun - bonus ›[wc] 6.7k [18+] smut; injury, blow job, love, etc. ›[au] street racer au & fwb

#102: fix you - mingyu - bonus ›[wc] 15.5k [18+] smut; virgin!gyu, oral, praise, etc. ›[au] AI & collab

#101: sunday sinner - mark & hyuck - bonus ›[wc] 12.6k [18+] smut; 3some, oral, sin, etc. ›[au] frat & church!mark & poly

#100: blood moon - seungcheol - bonus ›[wc] 5k+ [18+] smut; pussy eating, exhibitionism, etc. ›[au] a/b/o & established relationship

#99: Big Bear & Bee - johnny - bonus ›[wc] 15.9k+ [18+] smut; pussy eating, size kink, etc. ›[au] hybrid & domestic

#98: filthy - jeonghan & joshua - bonus ›[wc] 6.8k+ [18+] smut; 3some, anal, praise, etc. ›[au] lawyer & poly

#97: energizer bunny - haechan - bonus ›[wc] 19.1k+ [18+] smut; predator/prey, dirty talk, etc. ›[au] hybrid

#96: heir - mingyu - bonus ›[wc] 3.4k+ [18+] smut; royal, breeding, etc. ›[au] prince & newlyweds

#95: NiceGuyJohnny - nct - bonus ›[wc] 7.5k+ [18+] smut; camgirl, 69, squirting, etc. ›[au] camgirl [series] cam baby

#94: CherryCheolie - svt ›[wc] 5.2k+ [18+] smut; camgirl, squirting, etc. ›[au] camgirl [series] cam baby

#93: Yunhoe - atz ›[wc] 5.5k+ [18+] smut; camgirl, sir, oral, etc. ›[au] camgirl [series] cam baby

#92: GyuGyu97 & Hannie - svt ›[wc] 5.9k+ [18+] smut; camgirl, 3some, oral, etc. ›[au] camgirl [series] cam baby

#91: private room - nct 127 ›[wc] 3.6k+ [18+] smut; camgirl, masturbation, etc. ›[au] camgirl [series] cam baby

#90: audio - hoshi - bonus ›[wc] 2.9k+ [18+] smut; ramblefap, masturbation, etc. ›[au] idol & long distance

#89: ice cold, cabin fever (2) - gyucheol - bonus ›[wc] 25.8k+ [18+] smut; 3some, dirty talk, etc. ›[au] enemies to lovers & non idol & poly

#88: hotflash - hyuck - bonus ›[wc] 5.3k [18+] smut; a/b/o, knotting, oral, etc. ›[au] a/b/o

#87: sapiosexual - seungcheol - bonus ›[wc] 18.6k [18+] smut; daddy/hand/size kink, etc. ›[au] sugar daddy & psychologist

2022 - [wc] 223.8k

#86: sandwich - jaehyun & jungwoo - bonus ›[wc] 11.6k [18+] smut; 3some, frat, praise, etc. ›[au] frat & poly

#85: lovely puppy - jeno - bonus ›[wc] 5.8k [18+] smut; praise, simp!jeno, oral, etc. ›[au] model

#84: this dream - Mingyu & wonwoo - bonus ›[wc] 2.5k [18+] smut; voyerism, dream sex, etc. ›[au] incubus

#83: clowns - 95 line & meanie - bonus ›[wc] 13.3k [18+] smut; 6some, clowns, etc. ›[au] halloween & friends to lovers & frat

#82: imagining - Seungcheol - bonus ›[wc] 2.9k [18+] smut; phone sex, dirty talk, etc. ›[au] actor & long distance

#81: roommates - mark & hyuck - bonus ›[wc] 8.3k [18+] smut; 3some, oral, dirty talk, etc. ›[au] frat & poly & stoner

#80: celebrated - Mingyu & wonwoo - bonus ›[wc] 2.9k [18+] smut; 3some, phone sex, oral, etc. ›[au] non idol & poly

#79: impaled - jeno & hyuck - bonus ›[wc] 4.1k [18+] smut; 3some, d.p, anal, squirting, etc. ›[au] frat & boyfriend’s best friend

#78: paperclip - hyuck ft. jaehyun - bonus ›[wc] 6.3k [18+] smut; phone sex, toys, dirty talk, etc. ›[tw] cheating ›[au] yandere & love triangle

#77: these hands - johnny ›[wc] 2.7k [18+] smut; praise, massage, squirting, etc. ›[au] rock climber & established relationship

#76: when you gave me your name - wonwoo ›[wc] 5.2k [18+] smut; oral, foreplay, praise, etc. ›[au] fantasy & soulmate

#75: trust me - fiancé!seungcheol ›[wc] 2.3k [18+] smut; fake tutor, praise, fingering, etc. ›[au] non idol & established relationship

#74: puppy love - mingyu ›[wc] 6.3k [18+] smut; body worship, oral, praise, etc. ›[au] hybrid & established relationship

#73: citrine - jungwoo ›[wc] 3.2k [18+] smut; food play, oral, praise, etc. ›[au] surfer & established relationship

#72: your hand - yunho ›[wc] 6.6k [18+] smut; hand/size kink, praise, etc. ›[tw] blood ›[au] tattooist

#71: hazed - wonwoo & Mingyu - bonus ›[wc] 4k [18+] smut; 3some, weed, oral, overstim, etc. ›[au] uni & stoner & poly & friends to lovers

#70: the salesman - johnny ›[wc] 9.6k [18+] smut; bdsm, daddy kink, choking, etc. ›[au] squid game

#69: hit - vernon - bonus ›[wc] 9.1k [18+] smut; praise, foreplay, weed, etc. ›[au] uni & stoner

#68: box office - Johnny & hyuck - bonus ›[wc] 15.3k [18+] smut; 3some, vouyerism, bdsm, etc. ›[au] Californian crack & poly

#67: rules - wonwoo & Mingyu - bonus ›[wc] 6.4k [18+] smut; 3some, 69, anal, toys, etc. ›[au] non idol & poly

#66: the v week spy - jaehyun ›[wc] 20.1k [18+] smut; sexcapades, dirty talk, etc. ›[au] frat & strangers to lovers

#65: about time - Johnny & hyuck - bonus ›[wc] 12k [18+] smut; 3some, noona kink, shower, etc. ›[au] idol & poly

#64: besties - Mingyu & wonwoo - bonus ›[wc] 15.2k [18+] smut; 3some, dumbification, etc. ›[au] uni & poly

#63: home - yuta & jaehyun - bonus ›[wc] 34.6k [18+] smut; 3some, oral, bdsm, toys, etc. ›[au] frat & poly & friends to lovers

#62: a break - Mingyu & wonwoo - bonus ›[wc] 15.6k [18+] smut; 3some, oral, spit roasting, etc. ›[au] new dad & poly

#61: choices - yuto & kino & wooseok ›[wc] 9.5k [18+] smut; 4some, oral, spanking, etc. ›[au] non idol & poly & friends to lovers

2021 [wc] 308.8

#60: excuse me - mingyu - bonus ›[wc] 1.9k [fluff] fate has a way of stepping in, etc. ›[au] soulmate & non idol

#59: sunday kind of love - mark - bonus ›[wc] 35.7k [18+] smut; oral, praise, fingering, etc. ›[au] frat

#58: lone Digger - johnny ›[wc] 19.9k [18+] smut; strip tease, daddy, praise, etc. ›[tw] blood ›[au] stripper & sugar daddy & mafia

#57: marks - demons!jaehyun & johnny - bonus ›[wc] 14.2k [18+] smut; 3some, dirty talk, oral, etc. ›[au] demon & poly

#56: players - gamer!wonu - bonus 1 - 2 ›[wc] 19.7k [18+] smut; gamer oc, toys, 69, bdsm, etc. ›[au] gamer/non idol & enemies to lovers

#55: accidentally in love - traveler!jooheon (R) ›[wc] 16.4k [18+] smut; oc, oral, praise, etc. ›[au] non idol & strangers to lovers

#54: class project - frat!wonu & frat!gyu - bonus ›[wc] 9.3k [18+] smut; 3some, fingering, oral, etc. ›[au] frat & poly

#53: TheJinyoung & NiceGuyJohnny - nct & got7 ›[wc] 7.5k [18+] smut; 3some, bdsm, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] camgirl & idol [series] cam baby

#52: splashed - Jeonghan & Joshua - bonus ›[wc] 5.5k [18+] smut; 3some, bdsm, squirting, etc. ›[au] idol & poly

#51: anteric - wonwoo & Mingyu - bonus ›[wc] 16.6k [18+] smut; 3some, squirting, praise, etc. ›[au] non idol & roommate & friends to lovers

#50: panini - yunho & mingi ›[wc] 11.8k [18+] smut; 3some, oral, praise, etc. ›[au] friends to lovers & pandemic & uni

#49: HeyChannie : nct haechan ›[wc] 5k [18+] smut; somnophilia, oral, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] camgirl & idol [series] cam baby

#48: tease - jooheon & shownu ›[wc] 5.6k [18+] smut; 3some, breeding/cum, etc. ›[au] idol & f2l

#47: patience -johnny & haechan - bonus ›[wc] 9k [18+] smut; 3some, bdsm, spitroasting, etc. ›[au] yandere & ceo

#46: soft - johnny & jaehyun ›[wc] 8k [18+] smut; pregnancy kink, praise, etc. ›[au] idol & pregnancy & love triangle

#45: bunny - lucas ft. yuta ›[wc] 13.5k [18+] smut; 3some, exhibitionism, etc. ›[au] frat & f2l, [series] frat universe

#44: team captain - jaehyun ›[wc] 14.2k [18+] smut; tent sex, oral, dirty talk, etc. ›[au] frat & e2l [series] frat universe

#43: claim - johnny - bonus ›[wc] 18.4k [18+] smut; virgin!reader, heat, oral, etc. ›[au] a/b/o & s2l [series] a/b/o universe

#42: heat - Jaehyun ›[wc] 5.8k [18+] smut; knotting, heat, breeding, etc. ›[au] a/b/o & sugar daddy [series] a/b/o universe

#41: scent - haechan ›[wc] 11k [18+] smut; masterbation, heat, oral, etc. ›[au] a/b/o & s2l [series] a/b/o universe

#40: birthday boy - johnjae & dotae ›[wc] 13.1k [18+] smut; 4some, spitroasting, food, etc. ›[au] idol & poly

#39: baby face : haechan ›[wc] 14.4k [18+] smut; oral, dirty talk, foreplay, etc. ›[au] frat & e2l [series] frat universe

#38: ValentineJae97 : nct jaehyun ›[wc] 5.2k [18+] smut; oral, worship, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] camgirl & idol [series] cam baby

#37: lesson - lucas & doyoung ›[wc] 3.5k [18+] smut; 3some, 69, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] frat [series] frat universe

#36: arranged - jaehyun ›[wc] 3.5k [18+] smut; praise, soft sex, etc. ›[au] mafia

#35: quickie - taehyung ›[wc] 2k [18+] smut; suit kink, spanking, quickie, etc. ›[au] idol

#34: set up - johnny - bonus ›[wc] 14.4k [18+] smut; oral, fingering, handcuffs, etc. ›[au] frat & e2l [series] frat universe

#33: pillow prince - hyungwon & changkyun ›[wc] 3.7k [18+] smut; 3some, spitroasting, etc. ›[au] idol

2020 [wc] 152.9

#32: cuff 2 : wonwoo & vernon & hoshi ›[wc] 3k [18+] smut; foursome, oral, fingering, etc. ›[au] idol

#31: cuff 1 : vernon & wonwoo & seungcheol ›[wc] 4k [18+] smut; 4some, vouyerism, toys, etc. ›[au] idol

#30: hungry : wayv!lucas & got7!jackson ›[wc] 3.4k [18+] smut; 3some, oral, spitroasting, etc. ›[au] idol & multi group

#29: jealousy : bf!hongjoong ›[wc] 2.5k [18+] smut; oral, handcuffs, edging, etc. ›[au] idol

#28: TaeTae : bts taehyung ›[wc] 4.6k [18+] smut; toys, squirting, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] camgirl & idol [series] cam baby

#27: switch pt 4 : johnny & jaehyun & hyuck ›[wc] 12.9k [18+] smut; 4some, breeding, jealousy, etc. ›[au] ceo & sugar baby [series] ceo

#26: ex : haechan - bonus ›[wc] 5.1k [18+] smut; exhibitionism, oral, etc. ›[au] non idol & ex’s to lovers

#25: 8th grade : yunho & mingi ›[wc] 8.9k [18+] smut; 3some, oral, thigh riding, etc. ›[au] uni & friends to lovers & poly

#24: night out : gyu & wonwoo & vernon ›[wc] 4.3k [18+] smut; 3some, oral, spitroasting, etc. ›[au] idol

#23: winner : mingyu ›[wc] 1.7k [18+] smut; oral, size kink, praise, etc. ›[au] idol

#22: Switch pt 3 : johnny & jaehyun & hyuck ›[wc] 4.1k [18+] smut; 4some, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] ceo & sugar baby [series] ceo

#21: New : doyoung & taeyong ›[wc] 12.5k [18+] smut; 3some, bdsm, spitroasting, etc. ›[au] ceo & poly [series] ceo

#20: break - haechan ›[wc] 8.5k [18+] smut; degradation, oral, etc. ›[au] demon

#19: Switch pt 2 : johnny & jaehyun & hyuck ›[wc] 5.6k [18+] smut; 4some, spitroasting, etc. ›[au] ceo & sugar baby [series] ceo

#18: TheJinyoung : got7 jinyoung ›[wc] 4.7k [18+] smut; bdsm, toys, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] camgirl & idol [series] cam baby

#17: Lucas99 & Hendery99 : lucas & hendery ›[wc] 3.6k [18+] smut; 3some, spitroasting, etc. ›[au] camgirl & idol [series] cam baby

#16: Switch pt 1 : johnny & jaehyun & hyuck ›[wc] 6.4k [18+] smut; 4some, bdsm, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] ceo & sugar baby [series] ceo

#15: Beommie : got7 jaebum ›[wc] 3.7k [18+] smut; anal, squirting, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] camgirl & idol [series] cam baby

#14: PubGMarkT : got7 mark tuan ›[wc] 2.6k [18+] smut; video game sex, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] camgirl & idol [series] cam baby

#13: NiceGuyJohnny : nct johnny ›[wc] 2.9k [18+] smut; oral, fingering, vouyerism, etc. ›[au] camgirl & idol [series] cam baby

find earlier work here

#masterlist #nct maserlist #bts masterlist #svt masterlist #monsta x masterlist #ateez masterlist #smileysuh #johnny suh #jaehyun #haechan #johnjae #johnhyuck

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