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sugar-petals · 3 years

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🌹 Sub!SuperM 18+ HC: Riding Their Faces

↳ NOTE. These guys... I swear. Bringing some heat to the dash right here. Enjoy the SuperMadness 👀

word count. 3.7k | bullet points | ot7

WARNINGS. ⚠️ all explicit, cum play, latex, hair & sweat kink, bondage, spit, brat taming, toys, breath play, ass fixation going strong, dominant reader, femdom, degradation, hardcore, veins kink, graphic language, strap-ons, crying kink, clothed sex, some crack

⌜ 💋 byun baekhyun ⌟

▸ strength: energy

not for the faint of heart. baekhyun thoroughly enjoys you giving it to him roughly; it’s the leader being led, how sexy is that

i spy with my femdom eye, baekhyun likes the bossy dommes who bring him to his knees — quite literally.

case in point: hates seeing you hold back. tells you to just bounce on him how you want it. no fumbling around, it’s gotta be hot and proper.

whatever you’re insecure about he hasn’t even noticed. the more confidently you’re taking your designated seat, the better. this shit’s gotta make him all loud and squeaky, baekhyun can’t get enough of your wild and demanding side. “don’t you dare move your hands!” — he’s already hooked.

yep, he’s part of the feral squad. and louder than the bass in jopping for that matter

small as hell face but the jaw is sharp, you can literally feel it, he fits between your legs so well

endless breath. put your pussy all over that nose, grind on it, cum all over him. society will thank you for suffocating a millionaire

like seriously the breath play is off the charts. if he’s into asphyxiation you’d not be surprised

meanwile baek’s naughty hips keep on bucking, like hello there, giving you a cheeky 69 invitation

such a cocky little shit, whiny byun all the way from those ruined orgasms he’ll be getting cuz you might just touch him with two fingers at best, you know how to keep him on his toes

swallows everything he’s like whatever, almost chokes because he’s so messy and greedy to taste you. damn baekhyun

does a “mmhhhnnn...!” sound all the time, this guy has pussy all over his face and is still more vocal than you no matter what you do

eats ass, all day if he can, knows the most shocking techniques, wants to get crushed by booty he’ll end up admitting it. no matter how big or small yours is. because remember, that face is small, everything is big to him

the type to cum on his stomach way before you do. groans a lot, then goes on even more intensely, how the hell did he just leak out five ounces of semen and still manage a whole tongue workout

slobbery and all over the place, those are tongue movements you can’t even think of in your wildest dreams

baekhyun is never content just making you cum once or just really lowkey, much less hearing you being silent. he’s a moodmaker, he naturally wants to hear you, and see you twitch like the world ends for goodness sake

brattiest tongue ever, always pulls out the taunting puppy licks, tries to grope you all the time, he’ll get a rough spanking later believe me

also gets his payback from you being crazy wet, as beautiful and cute his face might be it’s gonna end up damn ruined

not gonna lie his voice acrobatics will turn you into a waterfall that’s coming down on him

you can punish him for teasing by going raw with your hips, mochi is in wonderland, seeing stars. put his wrists in a spreader bar and go off is what i’m saying, YOLO

since baekhyun annoys the members by being so hyper in the evening, they appreciate you knocking him out for sleep. and indeed baekhyun dozes like a baby, probably using your ass as a pillow or something

you’ve drained the shit out of him and um watered the flower that is his face, so

another cupcake down, mission success, baekhyun certainly had his fill not to mention lucky you having to deal with his wildly talented mouth ahem, moral of the story annihilate him with your ass

⌜ 💋 lee taemin ⌟

▸ strength: steaminess

you will come (heh) to discover that none of his lyrics were a lie

yeah he’s busy hot boy shit for his gal

taemin has an all-soft and plush tongue that’s super pinkish. it literally feels so good, how to ever get enough of it holy shit

it also happens to be very long so buckle up, he wants to be deep inside of you, serve and please you

probably the most slow and agile movement in the group, tantalizing is the right word for sure

prefers kissing and sucking over just licking because he’s sappy, good on him and good on you those lips are heaven and need to be used by all means

once you go on the pill, taemin will eat his own creampies straight out of you, maybe even two at once, it’s taemin c’mon he’s above-average horny lord knows how much sperm he’s hoarding

loves drowning it seems

raunchy stuff aside, he always dresses up nicely or wears the fluffy sweaters you like the most on him. what an exclusive ride, the scent of the clothing turns you on even more he’s pulling all the registers taemin is so docile and giggly

most sensual style in the group, will edge and give you goosebumps first before the main course even remotely goes down, taemin thinks in several stages hot damn he calculated this

his face heats up so much it’s crazy, then again kkoongie capitalizes on all the warmth from the radiator so you might as well be taemin’s personal heating alright. it’s fun seeing him sweat like mad, see his neck veins bulge... ugh

is gonna be a provocateur and try to nibble on your folds, man he just wants to get slapped around you can see right through this brat’s rowdy plan

might even want his ass played with while you ride his face so prepare for some intense contortions, fingering, butt plugs, prostate massage, the whole array, gladly taemin is flexible

always pulls it off hands-free because he’s a pro and well yeah he’s always tied up how um totally surprising

and any challenge he will meet that i guarantee you

he has immediately apparent shinee concert stamina, longevity like his career, taemin can lend his face to your purposes for the whole night he doesn’t care if he needs to chuck it in the freezer afterwards

bonus: if taemin doesn’t at some point wear one of his glittery masks for sexy time, somebody is probably impersonating him and it’s not the real lee taemin i’m afraid

so many orgasms you’ll stop counting, one blends into the other, even if you’re not moving much, how does he do it

that being said gee can we just appreciate how beautiful his face is, everything about him, it’s gonna be so sexy and soft to kiss him to sleep oh my god

⌜ 💋 kim jongin ⌟

▸ strength: escalating

just how industrious is he? dammit kai is the rent due or something, this shit is not a comeback stage cool down

jongin is needy as fuck, he’s desperate to taste you especially in the morning when his lips are all plump

since then he’s skipped his skin care routine you do the bulk of the moisturizing you see

jokes aside get ready for whimpery kai thrusting his face right into you because he can, should you need something to hold onto, his thighs are literally right there

constant high-pitched moans, some during quick pauses, others stifled, kai are you okay he’s really going all out

so thirsty

if you don’t put a harness on him for this you’re missing out, also you need something to hold this wild slutty motherfucker in place

rock-hard throughout, harder than a goddamn superm choreography

also: sturdy chin that can take a lot, it’s made to be sat on

does a lot of the work, very active, main dancer vibes you know, you can be lazy and just enjoy

most continuous style in the group, gradually getting more and more passionate and nervous — the second you thought it gets boring he goes off, have fun losing your mind and seeing him basically K.O. himself

if he wants to make you cum, rapid tongue jabs deep into your clit, and his hard breath against it, no fair play in here

absolutely has a thing for your shaking thighs, like what the hell he’s blowing a huge load the more you tremble, and he’s goddamn crying from pleasure every time woah

those big ole lips are an absolute treat, yeah i’ll say it again his face is meant for this

wants to be called all kinds of names wow jongin, it just spurs him more

kai. is. so. good.

you can most definitely film your own POV cam, jongin can put on one hell of a show. just this time it’s not his eyes flirting with the camera, it’s his tongue getting a nice rough treatment oh yum

don’t get me wrong he can deliver a romantic version of this, but kai just likes you being tough on his face he can’t deny it

uses his hands so you can ride him even harder, all his teddy bears will be falling off the bed like dominoes

might one day ascend to heaven while giving head, wouldn’t regret it

can do it until complete exhaustion you guys just pass out

being such an oral workaholic do i sense a masochist streak in him there?

fucking typical capricorn

⌜ 💋 wong yukhei ⌟

▸ strength: appetite

first off yukhei is hilarious

it’s called eating out and that’s exactly what he does duh, he’s not nicknamed foodcas for no reason — the restaurant is open my dear, and he just served himself five courses (you)

gets super sweaty, forehead and down the neck, a 6′0 glazed bun can you imagine

giggles a lot, makes the atmosphere relaxed, loves banter before and after, an allround sweet experience

though beware, this guy is hungry. most prone to open his mouth super wide he wants to eat all of you at once

don’t tell kun how nasty he is, much less leader baekhyun, promise me that

and especially nosy kai should not hear about what sexy shit yukhei is doing in his freetime unless you want to trigger a war

that being said the wayv dorm is still the safest place to sit on his face, so. it’s a lawless land there, nobody gives a fuck anymore at this point. yangyang would not even blink if ten murdered someone in cold blood on the balcony, that’s how the atmosphere there can be best described

lucas being a far more harmless himbo still ironically fits into the environment being so sexually insatiable, just how often are you going to fuck? it’s only natural to lose the overview

he loudly pouts and complains when it ends, wants to go on and on, you need a lotta stamina to get with this guy this is not a warning it’s a fact — yukhei really wants to tire himself out and give everything

if you lower your thighs just a little you can feel his dangly earrings. kinda sexy but also a safety concern i know i know, he’s not gonna wear them next time

noisy as heck, wants to do well, always goes the extra mile to be sure you are all happy and satisfied with today’s dining

his tongue is... big...

we’re not gonna talk about that giant bulge either, such a huge tent in those pants it’s a whole camping ground. anyway

what we’ll talk about. his super soft blonde hair, we’re talking salon quality soft, that’s amazing to feel against your legs, it’s great to pull as well, or to twirl really playfully

though there’s not much playful going down when the initial inhibition drops

he’s not made of glass you can really get those hips going

sliding down his nose when you’re all wet... damn good stuff.

lucas is the kinda guy that has you grunting and gritting he loves your reactions, and how aggressive you can get. usually he’s the reaction king but like this? he can get used to it.

totally into having that kinda frog perspective it’s a whole new thing, he’s such a giant now he’s below you, the sight is just superb to him

less likely to have toys involved, but rather a bunch of rope for his chest, his arms, his long ass legs. yukhei is a bondage insider tip y’all

stable as a block of metal. if you go a little too wild on baekhyun he’s probably gonna break his mochi neck but lucas is a different calibre, this mf is made of giant muscles galore, i can only say one thing: finish him

⌜ 💋 mark lee ⌟

▸ strength: speed

talks a lot, even occasionally curses — instantly apologizing, but you curse right back, so this becomes the cussing olympics at some point, taeyong would bury his face in the ground all his parenting efforts have gone to waste

mark basically chokes himself

he can’t control his spit by all means jesus... in his own words: must be the drip then

next to taemin and baekhyun here we have the third drowning victim, mark is in serious need of multiple tissues or towels afterwards but that’s exactly what he likes

mark’s slutty side is not to be underestimated i’m warning you

that’s a healthy young man right here

loves to do quickies to get you off during daytime, if you’re horny just tell him and he’ll find a quiet spot, might do it on his knees rather than you riding him sometimes for practical reasons

all options open, mark is flexible af. if someone can promote with nct dream and superm at the same time that’s the result

so yeah you’ll experiment with positions and even outfits, what’s the most comfortable to wear?

few people even remotely think about this. mark himself stays in his signature sweater but the glasses come off, you know very well he’s a nerd without them he has nothing to prove lmao!

the clothes will be cozy but don’t let that fool you yet alright

this guy has watched too much porn to just keep it light and cute

don’t get me wrong you can baby him ad nauseam for the more gentle femdom moods

but at the end of the day mark loves some intense shit, he likes feisty girls who aren’t coy and subby, the more perverted you are the better, in fact he enjoys being shocked with brazen attitude and getting orders on what to do.

loves it when you to take it all out on him, rough is good. mark lee’s face is the rodeo range of super m alright, just don’t break his glorious jaw or anything, he still needs it okay

but yeah mark’s face is tempting to ride hard not gonna lie

his tongue can go so fast it’s at the speed of sound, no, the speed of fucking light. mark goes crazy on your clit, wait a few seconds, boom five orgasms rain down on you.

it’s like an anime swordsman just lifting the sword hilt, walking off calmly, and one minute later things are in shambles like how? mark’s sword tech is just epic like that

he’s a leo what did we expect, show-off

in the meantime, RIP to mark lee’s pants. they’ll be soaked with cum, gonna be a bitch to hide your clothes from taeyong who’s always eager to wash everything by himself

that aside, mark really enjoys the position, he doesn’t need much else to be honest, he goes “oh my god oh shit” enough for you to know

thank god he’s a rapper, otherwise his dang technique would be dangerous, he doesn’t breathe for half a minute or so

enjoys you really doing shallow thrusts, super fast and sloppy, loves how much you enjoy it

needless to say: breaks a guinness world record for most licks per second, it’s that mark lee flow

long story short his face is your favorite spot he can prepare for a daily session

all that practice on water melons paid off good job markly

⌜ 💋 ten lee ⌟

▸ strength: allround skill

you know a pro by how he’s offering you a tall glass of water beforehand

and by the way he’s chugging one himself

champion, a keeper

you’re guaranteed to love it, ten is amazing

takes his time, gets to know your every inch, figures out your soft spots in a matter of minutes to seconds

everything for his sexy mama, service sub right here

take him on a leash, grind on his lips, make him kiss your clit, he’ll respond by circling his tongue around obediently

chittaphon might be a little fidgety at the beginning, but the atmosphere is not as tense anymore after doing it two or three times.

ten is actually quite good cracking lighthearted jokes and showing his more extroverted side, he always gets like that with a partner.

you have an easy time with build-up conversations and communicating in general, same with aftercare pillow talk

that being said the degree of professionalism this guy is heading for needs a lot of talk in the first place.

ten likes doing advanced things that aren’t just intuitively understood, you need to exchange yourself a lot

through trial and error you figure out how to incorporate sex toys into the little routine you have going on

the pleasure will be so intense you’ll never want anything else fuck

ten is also down for a lot of moving around, some athletic shit

you’ll go from bouncing on his dick to smothering his face back and forth pretty much, let’s see how fast you’re gonna bust a huge nut like that my bet is five minutes

those like “oh... ah—” moans are just angelic

since he focuses so much on your erogenous zones and always keeps his hands involved, ten is always guaranteed to have you breaking a major sweat

ten does not like to eat any fruits, they say. well that’s true, because he’s too busy eating you that is. boy can basically retire from citizenhood, he’s that busy between your legs.

enough fruit juice for an entire week impending, don’t worry about his nutrients, this is also a form of diet.

uses his chin, his cheeks, the nose especially, the damn nose it’s perfectly shaped

wants you to really ride him hard, and fast, no holds barred at all, going so feral he’ll be squeezing his eyes shut

sometimes his hair gets in the way, it’s just so damn long. the result: hair ties for face-sitting, always on his wrist

among all members, buries his face the deepest, turns him on so much

always makes sure you’re both washed up, no impromptu sessions. ten is a hygiene priest and he’s right

the mattress is kinda bouncy and he always uses his favorite soft pillow under his head so you can definitely take mister ten lee to pound town like work your hips give it to him

in case he survives i send my congrats, you got yourself the right guy, terrific choice queen

⌜ 💋 lee taeyong ⌟

▸ strength: ideas

how much more religiously can he eat you out, he treats this like the best reward he can get

as you can probably tell by now, all the lee surname members are definitely a certain brand and clan of highly distinguished pussy eaters like, these guys are a fucking gang like... well taeyong is no different

reckless abandon oral, eats you like it’s the last day, even death fears lee taeyong when he’s in giving head mode

you might be showering together beforehand and be all shy and kissy like it’s puppy love. but that is all for naught when the tongue of god is unleashed and taeyong gets himself as messed up as he can

yeah i like the thought of god being incarnated as kinky taeyong begging to have his mouth spit and cummed in it just makes sense

very deep mumbles, very hard breathing, those veiny hands on your waist, he wants to make you feel good so bad, fuck he’s so sexy

intense facial expressions, need i say more

also um... he likes to be... threatened. he’s the student you’re the teacher, strict as hell surveying his every move, the more you yell at him the harder he gets, jesus christ he has a thing for you acting mad and shit

taeyong doesn’t even need you to pull off your underwear, he’s gone get through any type of fabric with that leaking mouth

let’s just say he likes to experiment with innovative techniques... anyway, taeyong is a nasty fucking freak, he’s a grade A hoe, you never know what to expect

one time he just licks like a shy doe, the next second slurping explosion 5000

imagine whipping his thighs with a riding crop while sitting right on that ultra gorgeous elven prince face like

taeyong is almost always getting super emotional. he sheds even more tears than kai, like at some point you’ll develop a crying kink because of him SOS

nervous as hell, shaky hands. that can easily be fixed sir let’s tie em up

has you moaning nonstop, he’s so engaged and so dead-on with his movements. don’t be surprised if this damned man has your eyes almost falling out

beware, this guy is into full-on sensual deprivation as well. blindfolds are only the start.

you might end up with a whole lotta black latex involved, who knows, a whole gimp on him he’s down for that, he learned from ten what it is blame chittaphon’s vast kinky knowledge

even better: while you’re grinding on him, taeyong likes you pumping his cock with a fleshlight with zero mercy until he yelps in tiny oops

hell he might ask you to roughly fuck his face with a strap and then ride it, the mister likes double treats huh

then again: wants it to be degrading and dirty and intense on some days, and really wholesome and romantic on others

especially aftercare will be sweet and dulcet, you take care of him, pepper him with kisses for being such a dutiful boy.

looks pretty no matter what. maybe he’s born with it maybe it’s tyongbelline. yeah just how handsome is that face and hair like... t’yongreal paris in full splendor

long story short he’s an oral deity. i rest my case howdy and goodbye see you next time aye

superm masterlist

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natferdinand · 3 years

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fruitwoops · 4 years

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Fruit | ft. Lee Seokmin

1/13 of the Mundane series.

Paring: Seokmin x Reader Genre: Fluff, Slice of Life

The sweet tang which lingered on your lips would always remind you of the love you shared with one Lee Seokmin.

The late afternoon sun peeked through the blinds, painting clementine stripes across the floor and bathing the kitchen in a soft marigold glow. The scent of earl grey hung in the air, along with the dulcet tones of your boyfriend’s voice as he harmonised with the jazz tunes crackling through the speaker. You took a sip of tea as your eyes scanned the words scribbled upon scrap paper in your neat cursive, spinning the pencil between your fingers in slow, lazy circles.

“Thyme?” You enquired, placing the cup down and glancing over at Seokmin, who was carefully inspecting the herb and spice shelf.

“We’re out,” he noted once he locates the bottle in question, holding it out to prove his point. You nod and pen down the herb on your growing grocery list.

“How about fruits?”

Seokmin shuffled over to the fridge while simultaneously executing a perfect vocal run, striking a dramatic pose at the end that makes you chuckle.

“We’ve got enough unless you plan on becoming only a fruitarian for the rest of the week,” he jokes after a quick glance. You rolled your eyes playfully but shook your head regardless, watching in amusement and mild curiosity as your boyfriend shoved his head further into the fridge.

“Babe! How about some…” he emerged with a wide grin, brandishing the object which caught his eye. “…tangerines?”

You obliged, placing your pencil down and stretching an open palm out to your boyfriend expectantly.

“No, no, no,” he tutted in an exaggerated manner, sliding over to your side with a cocky smirk. “Let the tangerine master show you!”

You raised an eyebrow at him, but couldn’t help the grin that tugged at your lips, crossing your arms as you waved for him to continue. Seokmin rolled and juggled the fruit between his hands with theatrical enthusiasm and personalised sound effects that made you giggle, only to shed the fruit of its peel within less than a second.

You gasped in awe, clapping wildly for your boyfriend as you opened your mouth expectantly. He, however, just laughed and popped the tangerine into his own mouth, chewing and swallowing it with just as much speed. You gaped at him for a fraction of a second before delivering a sharp smack to his shoulder. You both stood in silence, staring at each other with wide eyes before falling into peals of laughter.

“Lee Seokmin!” You whined through your giggles as he wrapped you in his warm embrace, rocking you from side to side with barely contained laughter.

“Here.” You opened your mouth to question him, only to receive a freshly peeled tangerine smashed against your lips.

“Seok!” Your muffled voice came with a light push delivered to his chest, earning you a teasing whine of your own name in return. Submitting to your fate, you melted against him, bringing your arms up to return his embrace as you let out a content sigh.

The sweet tang which lingered on your lips would always remind you of the love you shared with one Lee Seokmin.

Masterlist for Mundane, A Seventeen Series

#seokmin #dokyeom #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen drabbles #seventeen fluff #dokyeom imagines #dokyeom scenarios #seventeen series #mundane - a seventeen series #fruitwoops

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kim-seungmine · 5 years

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i’ll hold your hand (don’t let me go) - part 2 /2

title: I’ll hold your hand (don’t let me go) – part 2 / 2

characters: (fem) reader x hwang hyunjin of stray kids (feat. kim seungmin, han jisung of stray kids, lee chaeyeon of iz*one, myoui mina of twice + other skz members)

genres: fluff, angst, slice-of-life, college au

warnings: language, mentions of bullying & death

word count: 7.5k words

synopsis: hyunjin is no longer fearless and you feel that he’s slipping away from you... or is it the other way around?

a/n: you can read this as a stand-alone but it’ll be much better if you read the first part first. you can find the masterlist in my bio because i can’t put links here!

CHAPTER 2: ... but I love you

It’s finally spring, your favorite season because walking down the street when it’s -19C is definitely not your thing. But it’s also Monday, everybody’s least favorite day ever, no matter what the season is. When Yang Jeongin, Hyunjin’s roommate, tells you that the latter hasn’t woken up yet (it’s past 12PM), you have no choice but to pay a visit to the boys’ dormitory.

The security isn’t too tight during the day, so you manage to slip into the building easily. You stop in front of room number 320, knocking on it softly. Jeongin opens the door, welcoming you with a dimpled smile you always melt at. “I think he’s got a class at 3,” he says, zipping his backpack as he walks past you. “I did everything you told me to do, but it’s been 2 years and nothing ever works unless you do it yourself.”

Jeongin waves you goodbye, leaving you alone with your sleeping boyfriend. “Hyunjin,” you begin, shaking his body with all your might. He doesn’t budge, so you decide to act as if it’s Saturday and he’s staying over at your dorm because you live in a single room (you don’t know how he manages to sneak in, but Hwang Hyunjin surely has his ways).

You lay down beside him before circling your arms around his torso, burying your head in the crook of his neck. “Jinjin,” you try again, using the nickname he loves so much. Hyunjin lives for nicknames, he’s given you so many he can’t even remember them, but you only have one for him. Jinjin. You don’t really use it, but everytime you do, Hyunjin turns into a clingy but obedient big baby.

His eyes flutter open, and you place feathery kisses on his neck. “Please wake up,” you whisper against his skin, looking up to see him smiling at you. Hyunjin nods, wrapping you into a tight hug. “Can Jinjin sleep for five more minutes?” he mumbles.

“What will you do if I tell Jisung that you’re referring to yourself as Jinjin… in third person?” you threaten, smoothing his bed hair. Hyunjin whines, and you’re trying not to chuckle because this is serious. “You can’t make Jeongin and me do this all the time.”

“I know,” he answers, rocking you in his arms. “But it’s just sooo hard to wake up.”

You sigh, pulling away to look at him in the eyes. “Next time I’ll just let you miss classes. This is going to be my last time doing this, okay?”

“Okay,” he replies, and you give him a peck on his lips. “Alright. Now can Jinjin start getting ready so he can walk his beautiful girlfriend to class?” you tease, earning a hard pinch on your cheek.

Hyunjin sits up with you still in his arms. He gives you one more kiss before getting out of bed. “Please let me live, Y/N!”

It only takes Hyunjin twenty minutes to get ready. He’s already dressed in the red checkered shirt you gifted him last month and a pair of faded jeans. “You’re trying to turn me into Jisung, aren’t you?” he asks while looking at his reflection in the mirror.

“I just think that you look good in checkered shirts, that’s all,” you reply, feeding him a piece of kimbap you bought from CU*. “Speaking of Jisung, are we still meeting his friend tonight? Do you still have dance practices with Minho?”

Hyunjin opens the door, taking your hand in his before stepping out. “What’s a dance practice?!” he asks dramatically. “I only know staying up all night to design a living room!”

“I’m serious. He’s been asking to meet us so many times this week but we barely responded,” you say. Hyunjin mutters a tired, “Aigoo,” but takes out his phone to call Seungmin.

“Wow, you answered,” he exclaims, putting his phone on loudspeaker so you can hear their conversation. “You better not bail on us tonight, asshole. I don’t want to hear Jisung weep about us not being supportive.”

Seungmin scoffs, you can hear him closing his book. “What the hell? You’re the one who keep canceling! Y/N, tell him!”

You jab at Hyunjin’s waist, causing him to yelp loudly. “I’ll drag his lazy ass, Seungmin. Don’t worry,” you promise him. Seungmin laughs, telling you to take care before ending the call. You turn to Hyunjin who’s busy massaging his waist. “Do you have something you want to tell me?” you ask.

“Like what?” he challenges, squinting at the bright sunlight as both of you exit the dormitory. You’re swinging your intertwined hands softly, pondering whether you should ruin the blissful moment right now. “Like what?” Hyunjin repeats, causing you to stop on your tracks.

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“Nothing happened, baby. I’m just tired,” he reassures you, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. “Now let’s get Jinjin’s beautiful girlfriend to class, shall we?”

Jeongin has saved you a spot when you arrive in class. You two went to the same school, but you never actually met him although Seungmin used to be his tutor and talked about the younger boy quite a lot. Sometimes you regret not knowing Jeongin sooner; he’s a brat, but he’s a sweet brat and he’s taught you a thing or two about life.

“So, what method did you use? Scream in his ear? Play his ‘HWANG HYUNJIN WAKE UP!!!’ alarm for a whole ten minutes? Pretending there’s an earthquake and the whole world is falling apart?”

Plus he’s endured being Hyunjin’s roommate for 2 years and put up with his sleeping habits.

You smile sourly at him, cringing when you recall the whole Jinjin-please-wake-up scenario. “He loves me that much, I guess,” you mumble. Jeongin smirks at you, lowering his voice so only you can hear him. “You used ‘the girlfriend method,’ didn’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, the usual. Kissing the life out of him, calling him pet names, begging him to wake up. You went down the soft path, I bet.”

You just stare at him in disbelief, while he’s only giving you a smug smile. “Hyunjin sleep talks. I know a lot of things.”

The professor has entered the class, but you’re too distracted by Jeongin’s words to notice. “What do you know?” you ask, almost fearfully.

Jeongin points at the professor, signaling at you to start opening your book. “Well, let’s say that I know who Jinjin is,” he tells you in a sing-song tone.

You want to smash your head against the table. Dating Hwang Hyunjin is definitely not easy.

The café where Jisung wants to meet you isn’t far from your campus. You and Hyunjin are walking hand-in-hand, with Chaeyeon trailing behind you. “You kept hollering at us to meet you and your new friend and now you’re saying you’re going to be late?!” she yells at Jisung over the phone.

Jisung is now a—quoting Seungmin—somewhat superstar. He’s started a hiphop crew with a friend from his academy, and they’ve started to get attention from the public. You’ve only seen his friend on Instagram, so you’re really curious about him.

“He’ll be here soon,” Chaeyeon informs with a tired tone as you’re entering the café. “Is this why Jisung insisted we have to meet here?” Hyunjin asks, referring to the bright neon sign outside that reads “YOUNG WINGS.”

Chaeyeon stifles a laugh, nodding in agreement. “He deadass chose a café that has the same name as our group chat. Yep I guess he’s that sentimental.”

Hyunjin and Chaeyeon then get into an intense battle of recalling Jisung’s most “embarrassingly sentimental” moments. Just as you’re about to interrupt, Seungmin enters the café, huge eye bags under his eyes.

“Dude, are you okay?” Hyunjin panics, pulling up a chair for Seungmin to sit on. “When was the last time you slept?”

Seungmin looks even thinner compared to the last time you saw him, which was three months ago. He’s dyed his hair red at the start of the semester, now the color has washed away and his roots are showing. Red looks amazing on Seungmin, you swear to God, but now it just makes him look more tired.

“Let me order you a drink,” Chaeyeon says, making her way to the counter. Hyunjin scoots closer to his friend, offering his shoulder. “Here, sleep. I’ll wake you up when Jisung arrives,” he suggests as you slowly push Seungmin’s head to Hyunjin’s shoulder.

“Do you know any of his SNU friends?” you ask Hyunjin, who only shakes his head slightly. “No. Does he ever talk about them? It seems like he doesn’t do anything but study.”

Chaeyeon returns with a cup of jasmine tea, setting it down in front of a fast-asleep Seungmin. “Oh God, he’s dying,” she whispers, taking off his glasses. None of you says anything for a while, just listening to Seungmin’s soft snore while staring at the door.

“That’s them,” Hyunjin breaks the silence, waving his hand at Jisung and his pink-haired friend before turning to Seungmin. You almost want to stop him from waking the redhead up, but Jisung’s loud voice already makes him stir.

“What’s going on?” Jisung’s voice drops as his eyes land on Seungmin. Chaeyeon only sighs, politely telling Jisung’s friend to sit down. “Should we just let him sleep?” she wonders, asking for Jisung’s permission. The blue-haired boy nods, but Hyunjin grunts in protest. “Can we switch? My shoulder is aching already.”

“I’ll do it,” Jisung offers. “I’m gonna order first.”

Chaeyeon averts her attention to the man sitting beside her. “Jisung as talked about you a lot!” she chirps. He smiles, showcasing his dimples. “I’m Bang Chan. I bet Jisung has talked about you guys a lot more than he talked about me!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I even know your names already! You are,” he stops to point at Hyunjin. “Tall, goddamn handsome, pillowy lips. You must be Hwang Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin looks at him in awe. “How the fuck did you memorize all of that?” he mutters, earning a proud smirk from Chan. He darts his eyes to you, clapping his hands excitedly. “You! You’re Y/N, right? The one who made Jisung start doing all of this.”

You raised your eyebrows as Chaeyeon gasps. “What did he tell you about me?”

“Nothing, actually. Just the fact that Hyunjin gives you heart eyes all the time.”

“And me? How about me?!” Chaeyeon squeals a bit too loud, forgetting that Seungmin is still sleeping on Hyunjin’s shoulder. Chan laughs, pretending to think hard before flashing her a smile. “You’re Lee Chaeyeon, Jisung’s favorite girl.”

Chaeyeon’s cheeks turn pink at his statement, causing Hyunjin to whistle. “He won’t shut up about you,” Chan explains, nudging Chaeyeon playfully. “Although all you do is nag at him.”

“Jisung can’t survive without Chaeyeon’s nagging,” Seungmin suddenly quips. He pats Hyunjin’s back, mouthing a thank you before stretching his body. “And you’re the perfect, almighty Kim Seungmin,” Chan utters, almost starstruck.

“What’s with that look?” Seungmin asks him, sipping his lukewarm jasmine tea. “There’s literally nothing you can’t do. I kept asking Jisung if you were real,” he shares. Seungmin only laughs, reaching out to give Chaeyeon a pat on her head. “Thanks for the tea.”

“Jisung said you have a lot of idol friends!” Chaeyeon exclaims. Chan shakes his head bashfully. “Out of all things he told you that?” he chuckles. You and Chaeyeon are into idol groups thesedays, so you pester Chan to tell you who are the ones he’s friends with.

“Well, I’m friends with Wanna One’s Daehwi and Woojin. I know Pentagon’s Yuto too. Hmm, who else?” he muses while all of you are focusing on him. “Ah! I’m close with Stray Kids’ Lee Jungjin. He recently released a solo album, you guys know him, right?”

The whole table freezes, shooting Hyunjin a worried look. “I see,” Seungmin responds with an awkward laugh. “So are you guys preparing for the audition? Jisung said you two are going to Show Me the Money this year.”

Chan notices Seungmin’s lame attempt to change the topic, but brushes it off.

“Yeah, we are. I think it’ll be a good experience for us,” he says, looking relieved when Jisung comes back.

“Man, the line is long,” he sighs, putting down his chocolate float on the table. Chaeyeon gives him a look that pretty much says, “Please save us,” and he complies, although you’re sure he doesn’t know what the hell is going on. You grab Hyunjin’s hand under the table, lacing your fingers with his.

Hyunjin squeezes your hand, turning to Chan with a hardened expression he’s trying so hard to hide. “I just remembered that I have something to do,” he announces. “It was nice meeting you, Chan. Good luck with the audition, and don’t hesitate to knock some senses into this stupid squirrel if he’s being annoying.” Jisung is about to retort, but Seungmin stops him.

“Call me when you finish, I’ll pick you up. Both of you,” Hyunjin tells you, pointing at Chaeyeon as well. Chaeyeon nods as Jisung stares at you in confusion. Hyunjin gives you a quick kiss on your temple before heading out of the café.

“Did I say something wrong?” Chan asks, looking guilty and confused at the same time. You, Seungmin, and Chaeyeon exchange glances, wondering whether Chan should know about what happened between Hyunjin and Jungjin.

Jisung is busy with his phone, his fingers typing impatiently and you instantly know that he’s texting Hyunjin. You wait until he gets a reply, while Seungmin and Chaeyeon try to dismiss the conversation.

“Chan I’m going to talk about this just once and you have to keep it a secret, okay?” Jisung instructs. You heave a sigh when Chan nods; you’ve always wanted to know more about Jungjin, but Hyunjin always refused to talk about him in details.

“Lee Jungjin was the one who bullied Hyunjin, along with some other trainees. And he was also the one chosen to replace Hyunjin in Stray Kids when his parents pulled him out of the group.”

Hyunjin is already waiting for you in front of the girls’ dormitory building when you arrive. Seungmin, Jisung and Chaeyeon bid you goodbye, but not without silently asking you to update them about your boyfriend.

“See you later, loverboy!” Jisung shouts as Chaeyeon drags him away. Hyunjin immediately wraps his arms around you the moment you get close enough to him. “Chaeyeon’s not going home?” he asks as Seungmin waves at him.

“They’re going for a drink,” you explain, booping his nose with yours. Jisung is going to concentrate on his audition and wants to spend some time with all of you before going M.I.A for a while. You wanted to join, but you knew Hyunjin was waiting for you and wouldn’t be in the mood for socializing. Today was the first time you saw Hyunjin incredibly upset after two years, and luckily your friends think it’s important to console him.

“When’s Mina coming back from New York?” he asks. Mina is currently on tour with her ballet company, and you know that affects Hyunjin more than he wants to admit. One of his best friends is cementing her position as a top dancer, something he desperately wants to pursue as well.

“Probably next month. Hopefully Jisung and Chan pass the preliminary round so Mina will get a chance to see them perform live,” you mutter, squishing his face with your hands when he starts to pout. “How are you feeling?”

Hyunjin sighs as you release your hold on his face. He seems hesitant to tell you; Jungjin is a topic you guys never talk about after high school ended. “I was just… mad. I thought I was doing okay. I no longer want to punch a wall everytime I see him on TV or billboards. I thought I forgave him.” He pulls at his hair in frustration. “But when Chan brought him up… I’m sorry. I ruined the night, didn’t I?”

“It’s fine. Forgiving someone who did something horrible to you isn’t easy. It needs time,” you reassure him. “But will you-”

“I will,” Hyunjin cuts you. “I’ll call Jisung later.”

“You have to stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Reading my mind. Only Seungmin can do that.”

Hyunjin laughs, giving you one last kiss on your cheek before pushing you towards the building. “Good night, Y/N,” he says. You smile at him, your heart feeling heavy as he turns around. This is the beginning of another break down, you can feel it. Hyunjin hasn’t been like himself lately, and what happened tonight only makes it worse.

“Jinjin!” you call out, running to catch up with him. You grab his hand, tiptoeing to capture his lips with yours. Hyunjin rests his hand on the small of your back, bending down so you don’t need to stretch your body. He sighs, trying to whisper how much he loves you in between the kiss. His eyes look slightly brighter when you pull away. “What is this? Usually I’m the one stealing kisses from you,” he asks in an amused tone. You place another kiss on the corner of his lips, hoping that your next few words will make a little difference.

“I’m here for you, Jinjin,” you whisper.

Hyunjin chuckles, light and happy and you’re praying that it will always sound like that.

“I know.”

Jisung and Chan turn out to be the biggest sensations on Show Me the Money, with the show constantly highlighting their friendly rivalry and sweet bromance. Tonight is the semifinal, and Jisung has invited all of you to watch him perform live. “If I get eliminated, at least I’ll have people to cry with later,” he said.

Hyunjin has gone full hip-hop for tonight, sporting a black shirt and ripped jeans with a metal lip ring adorning his bottom lip. He’s wearing his usual silver cross necklace along with some new ones, and also a white bucket hat. You don’t know whether you should be embarrassed, but you gotta admit that your boyfriend looks hot. “Will we get to see Zico? Will the producers come out?” He cranes his neck to see the stage better, his hand resting on your hips.

Chaeyeon, who’s also gone full hip-hop with her black leather jacket , stockings, and denim shorts, is pumped up with equal excitement. “I don’t think so but they’re supposed to be backstage? We’re basically breathing the same air!”

“There are a lot of hip-hop concerts and festivals you can go to, you don’t need to embarrass us like this,” Seungmin comments. You laugh, trying to ignore other girls (and boys) who keep checking Hyunjin out.

“Have you been to one?” you ask, waving at Mina when you spot her entering the venue. “I’ve been to hundreds,” Seungmin corrects you, causing Hyunjin and Chaeyeon to immediately whip their heads to him. “What? Day6 isn’t the only band I like.”

The conversation is cut short as the MC appears and Mina joins you. All of you scream on the top of your lungs throughout Jisung’s performance, in which he spits fire and exudes such a mindblowing charisma that everyone here will never even imagine that Han Jisung a.k.a J.One gets blasted by all of you (especially Chaeyeon) at least twice a day.

“If he keeps this up, he can really advance to final round, don’t you think?” you whisper to Hyunjin, who’s not bouncing up and down anymore. He’s focused on Jisung, following his every movement. The audience cheers as the song ends, shouting “J.One! J.One! J.One” so loudly you think you’re going deaf. Hyunjin keeps his eyes on the stage, watching Jisung saluting the crowd as the lights go out.

He’s looking at the stage with so much longing and sadness, and the familiar feeling of seeing someone you love falling into a limbo tugs at your heartstrings.

“There’s something wrong with Hyunjin.”

You look up from your book to see Jeongin standing in front of you with a worried face. “It started a while back, but I thought he was just stressed with assignments or something.”

“What happened?” you croak, wanting to hear everything while expecting Jeongin to say that he’s joking. You and Hyunjin haven’t really been talking these days, mainly because he constantly shuts you out while you feel like giving up.

You’re not giving up on Hyunjin. Not now, not ever!

Jeongin bites his lips, trying to relay the information as calmly as possible. “At first he was just mumbling nonsense in his sleep. Then he started shouting, I can’t describe it but it was really scary,” he says. “He does nothing but working on his assignments. Like, can you imagine Hyunjin being studious? He won’t even talk to me. When I asked him why he was all serious and gloomy, he said he’s trying not to get lost.”

Lost. This is it. The beginning of the end.

“I don’t want to be rude but, are you guys fighting?”

You shake your head. “He’s just… a bit stressed out, that’s all. I’m just giving him space.”

“I think Hyunjin needs you, Y/N.”

You know that. You fully understand how much Hyunjin needs you right now. It’s just, it’s hard. It’s hard for you to constantly trying to cheer him up, to make him know that everything’s going to okay.

“If Hyunjin makes you worried, if his behavior is stressing you out, you can ask to get a new roommate, Jeongin. It’s okay,” you tell him, but Jeongin scoffs. “I’m staying. This is our Hyunjin, Y/N. I’ll figure things out if you don’t want to.”

Jeongin doesn’t even look at you during the entire lecture. You, meanwhile, keep looking at his direction, hoping he’ll give you a chance to explain yourself. But do you even know how to explain your feelings to yourself? You’re never good at the whole “I’ll always be there for you” thing; you always want to run when things get hard. You avoid everything, as if nothing is more important than living without worries.

You’ve promised Hyunjin so many times that you’ll always hold his hand, to never let go. But now you’re not sure anymore.

felix: park jinyoung is back in korea

felix: i think you should know

felix: he just called me. asked for your number

You nearly drop your phone when you read Felix’s message. Jinyoung left Korea shortly before you moved to JYP High. Shortly after you broke up with him. You know he didn’t leave only because of you, but if you stayed by his side, maybe he wouldn’t have left.

y/n: did you give him to him

y/n: felix

felix: you know theres no way i’d tell him “y/n has a new bf now pls move on” right

felix: you cant avoid him forever

y/n: i know

Hyunjin is sitting in front of you, looking out of the window while sipping his Americano. “Baby?” he calls out, tapping your fingers. You look up, forcing yourself to smile when you meet his tired eyes. You decided to pay him a visit at his dorm while Jeongin is out of town with his friends.

“Yeah?”

“Something bothering you?” he asks.

“What? Nothing.”

“You sure?”

“I should be the one asking you that,” you say sternly. Hyunjin frowns, snatching your phone from you. He opens Felix’s messages, and his eyes become darker as he reads all the recent messages. You reach for his hand, trying to get your phone back. “Hyunjin.”

“Who’s Park Jinyoung?” he demands.

“No one.”

“Your ex-boyfriend? Or are you cheating on me?”

“Hyunjin, please.”

He stops, handing your phone back to you before crossing his arms. You never meant to keep Jinyoung a secret, but you’re not proud of what you did to him. It only reminds you of how selfish you are, how bad of a person you are.

“Jinyoung was my boyfriend in high school,” you explain. “During the 11th grade he and his brother got into a car accident. He survived, his brother didn’t.”

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything, but signals you to continue. “I cared about Jinyoung, I really did. I still do, but he wasn’t the same anymore after the accident.”

“Anyone wouldn’t be okay after such a tragedy, I know. It didn’t make me like him any less, but then he… refused to talk to anyone and kept throwing tantrums. I tried to help him, but after a few months I couldn’t take it anymore. I gave up.”

You finally have the nerve to look into Hyunjin’s eyes although what you’re going to say is going to break his heart. “I broke up with him. I told him I couldn’t stay anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Hyunjin. I know I shouldn’t have done that. I feel so, so sorry. You must be disappointed-”

“Is that why you’re with me now?” he cuts you off. “Because you feel sorry for me? Because you want to redeem yourself?”

He stands up, eyes brimming up with tears as he walks towards his door and opens it. “I knew it,” he mutters through gritted teeth. “Poor Hwang Hyunjin got bullied and now he’s all fucked!” he shouts.

“You’re not, Hyunjin. You can still dance again—”

“I don’t want to disappoint my parents, okay?! I’m all they have so I can’t do whatever I want just because I feel like it.”

Hyunjin is already crying at this point, and you’ve never felt this broken before. The past two years feel like a dream, a sweet dream you both refuse to wake up from. Reality bites, and it bites you hard.

“You didn’t even ask why I chose to go to college,” he quivers. “I told myself that I would stop dancing after high school. No more training. No more auditioning. I have to get myself together. For them. For you.”

Hyunjin takes a deep breath before gripping your shoulders. His next words feel like knives jabbing at your heart. “If you can’t handle me anymore, you can leave. You’re tired, aren’t you?”

You desperately want to tell him no. I love you, Hyunjin, you’re not a burden.

But nothing comes out.

“How have you been?”

You wish you can choose not to answer that question, but you smile, hoping that it will conceal the sorrow in your eyes. “I’ve been okay. How about you?”

Jinyoung clasps his hands together as if expecting your response. He only stares at you, like he’s rehearsing a scenario in his head. “I’m fine. Much better,” he answers, and you release the breath you didn’t know you’ve been holding.

“Look, Y/N. I just want to apologize for everything I did back in high school. It must’ve been tough for you.”

You shake your head while he’s smiling at you, as if knowing how you’ll react—once again. “No, Jinyoung. I’m sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most.”

The Jinyoung sitting in front of you right now is the extreme opposite of the Jinyoung you left. He’s no longer drowned. He’s no longer lost. He’s alive and well and whole, like the first love you cherished and treasured.

“I was angry at you for a long time,” Jinyoung confesses. “One day I found my old phone, the one I used before we broke up.”

“I read all the messages you sent me. You asked me whether I ate, whether I felt okay. You panicked when I skipped school. You apologized; damn you kept saying sorry although I was the one being an asshole.”

“It’s okay. You were grieving—”

“That’s not a reason,” Jinyoung says. “I thought I was the most miserable person on Earth. Maybe I was, to some extent. But then I realized that you were hurting too. You were close to my brother as well.”

“I wasn’t the only one who lost him. You did too. And then you lost me.”

Jinyoung chuckles when he sees you tearing up. “Don’t cry,” he coos, patting your head. “I thought I was alone, that nobody understood me. But you were there. Felix was there. Everybody was trying to understand me.”

“Felix told me you have a boyfriend now?” he asks.

You almost nod your head. “I don’t know anymore.”

Jinyoung smiles knowingly (now that you think about it, Jinyoung really reminds you of Seungmin), offering you tissues to wipe your tears. “You’ll figure it out, you’re not a bad person, Y/N. I’ll testify for you if you need me to!”

No matter what side you’re on—good or evil, love or hate, truth or lie—the choices will always be there, ready to attack you at the most unpredictable time. You won’t call yourself a good person; God you probably don’t deserve even half the things you have right now. But you’re going to fight for them. You’re going to fight for Hyunjin.

So you smile, and this time it’s a genuine one.

“When are you guys going home?” Seungmin nags, glaring at you and Chaeyeon who are sprawled on his bed, laughing at random Instagram videos. The two of you barged into his house two hours ago, completely sabotaging his study session… on purpose.

“Come on, Kim Seungmin, get a life!” Chaeyeon replies as you sit up, eyeing him from head to toe. “You seem totally out of it. You okay?”

“Why won’t I be okay?”

Seungmin doesn’t really bottle up his emotions anymore, but there are times when he scares you with how flatly he dismisses questions about his well-being. “You’re not going through the same crisis as Hyunjin, are you?”

Chaeyeon sits up at your question, and Seungmin laughs. “I’m fine. I work hard, but I also play hard.”

“By going to hundreds of hiphop concerts?” Chaeyeon teases.

He rolls his eyes at her. “I have other friends, for God’s sake. Didn’t you guys see all my Instagram updates?”

When neither of you responds, Seungmin grabs a notebook from his desk. He flips through the pages quickly before stopping on a page full of flowcharts and notes. “I’m starting a project. I hope I can somehow use this as my graduation project. If not, well then, I’m screwed.”

Chaeyeon takes the notebook from him, humming in approval as she reads all the details. “You’re starting a website? For kids like us? What do you mean?”

“I went through so much shit after I told my parents I wanted to become a baseball player,” Seungmin explains. “Then I got into singing, but I never want to go through that again. It was hard, but things got better eventually. I enjoy what I’m doing now.” He turns to you. “So, to answer your question, no. I’m not going through the same thing Hyunjin is dealing with now.”

You give him a playful smirk. “Although Seo Changbin signed with KIA Tigers?”

“Although Seo Changbin signed with KIA Tigers.”

Chaeyeon fakes a yawn while she, in fact, is hiding a smile. “Sooo… in conclusion?”

“There are kids like me, and then there are kids like Hyunjin, who will never be able to live peacefully before doing what they’re really passionate about,” he continues. “There are kids like Jisung who can be so confident and insecure all at once.”

“In conclusion, I want to create a space for everybody. To let them know that there will always be a place for them no matter what kind of shit they’re dealing with. That’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk!”

Now Seungmin is exchanging looks with Chaeyeon, and you figure it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room.

“Let me get this clear. You and Hyunjin didn’t break up, right?” Chaeyeon asks, munching on the potato chips she’s sharing with Seungmin.

“None of us said that word, but I don’t think that’s important now.”

“How is that not important?” Chaeyeon presses, and suddenly you realize how weird the situation is. You’re talking about your relationship with Hyunjin with Chaeyeon—who had feelings for Hyunjin and Seungmin—who had feelings for you.

“Let’s talk about that later.”

“Y/N.”

Chaeyeon sighs, grabbing your slumped shoulder so she can look directly into your eyes. “I had a crush on Hyunjin. You love Hyunjin. That’s a whole different case. You can talk to me.”

“I didn’t sing in front of the whole school for you guys to break up like this,” Seungmin says, causing you to blush when you remember that he dedicated Day6’s First Time to you. You have to admit that you haven’t listened to the song ever since he did that.

“I let Hyunjin down.”

“Everyone lets somebody down,” Seungmin replies.

“Yeah. Thesedays Jisung always calls me in the wee hours in the morning and I never pick up. Now he’s sulking."

“Lee Chaeyeon, you and Jisung are practically dating.”

“We’re not!”

Seungmin mimics Chaeyeon’s expression before punching her shoulder playfully. “He’s just too scared to confess and you’re just too proud to admit that you like him.”

“Stop it!”

Jeongin has bombarded you with messages, but all of them can be summed up into one sentence: Hwang Hyunjin is a mess. You’ve been waiting for the right time to talk to him, but now you find it ironic.

You’re looking, searching, yearning for the right time while losing it at the same time.

After Seungmin and Chaeyeon convinced you to stop dragging this around, you finally texted Hyunjin. Now you’re alone in the middle of the night, reading Hyunjin’s simple “okay” after you asked him to meet you at a small playground near your dormitory where you often hang out together. A familiar shadow walks in your direction, and before you can stop yourself, you have run towards it.

Luckily, it does turn out to be Hyunjin.

“Hey.”

He stops, frowning when he notices that you’re not wearing any jacket. “It’s cold,” he comments in a disapproving tone, but you only shake your head. “I’m fine.”

“Y/N.”

“We have more important things to talk about than me not wearing jacket, Hwang Hyunjin.”

“Okay,” he replies, leading you to one of the benches. Hyunjin takes off his jacket and drapes it around your shoulders. You inhale, staring into his tired eyes and you want to kill yourself for making him even more miserable than he already is.

“I’m in love with you,” you mutter, using the exact same words he used when he first confessed to you. Hyunjin blinks before averting his gaze to a stray dog near the bushes. “How can you be in love with me? Not the one everyone knows, but me.”

“Because you’re my Hyunjin. I love the smiley, clingy, energetic, hard-working, brave, and somehow flirty Hyunjin. But then I realized that even if you’re struggling or stressing out or feeling lost… you’re still you. You’re still the one I’m in love with.”

“Who do you talk to when you feel sad?” he asks firmly. “Not me, right?”

Hyunjin’s eyes don’t seem tired anymore. They’re now burning with anger, and you have no idea how to respond to that. He then pulls you into his embrace, caressing your hair softly although you can feel how upset he is. “I wanted to be angry at you but this is happening because of me. You’re tired, sad, and confused because of me. I’m dragging you down.”

“You’re not,” you counter. “There are times when I’m lost too, Hyunjin. But no, I don’t want to leave.”

He pulls away, sighing as you smile at him. “I’m sorry,” he pleads. “Am I being selfish if I still want to start over? I want to take care of you, Y/N. I want to listen to your rambles, I want to eat ice cream at 1AM during winter with you, and I want to wake up to you calling me Jinjin. But I also want to hug you when you feel sad, I want to hear all your problems, I want to help you solve them. Just like what you’ve been doing for me all this time.”

He starts to smile as well when yours get wider. “No,” you answer, tucking your head in the crook of his neck. “That means you love me.”

“I do,” he quickly says, wrapping his arms around you again like he’s afraid that you will change your mind. “I don’t deserve you, but will you let me try?”

You hum, relishing the comfort of his body heat as he lifts you so that you’ll sit on his lap. “Do you want me to sneak you inside the dorm?” Hyunjin offers, trying to take out his phone from his back pocket.

“You have a ball of sass as your roommate,” you remind him. Jeongin will roast you for another fifty years if you end up sneaking in and kicking him out of his own room, even though you’re sure that Hyunjin will have to endure more than that.

After making exaggerated scenarios of how Jeongin will react if Hyunjin really ends up bringing you back, you spend the rest of the night curling up in Hyunjin’s arms, constantly checking if there are people around. Your boyfriend, meanwhile, makes it clear that he doesn’t give a damn. He kisses your cheeks every 2 minutes (you’re shamelessly counting and proud of it), listening to all sorts of stories you tell him.

“What are you going to do now? Are you going to drop out?”

“No. I haven’t told my parents anything,” Hyunjin states. “I’ll just start dancing again for now.”

He shifts under you, lifting your chin to look into your eyes. “Are you feeling better?” he whispers, his gaze mirroring his shaky voice.

“You’re here. How can I not feel better?”

Hyunjin beams at you as he leans closer to crash his lips on yours. “I’ve missed you,” he rasps, cupping your face to kiss you harder. You want to reply, but everytime his lips make contact with yours, you feel dizzy. Hyunjin whines when you’re pulling away, so you comply, letting him kiss you more slowly. He then trails open-mouthed kisses along your jawline and neck before nipping your collarbone. “Jinjin,” you call out breathlessly.

He looks up. “Hmm?”

“Just promise me one thing.” You reach for his hand, feeling his slender fingers wrap yours in an instant. “Don’t ever let me go.”

“I promise.”

“You’re friends with CB97 and never told me about it. I’m rioting!” Jeongin stomps his feet on the ground as he has his ticket checked. Jisung and Chan are Show Me the Money’s newest winner and runner-up respectively, and the two are inviting all of you to their first solo concert.

Felix is recording his surroundings with his phone, pushing Jeongin’s head out of his way as he’s shooting the empty stage. “Jisung will take photos with us, right Y/N?”

“Why are you so obsessed with taking photos with Jisung?” Hyunjin shudders. “I swear it’s nothing special.”

The freckled boy points at his phone. “Gotta do it for the ‘gram, man.”

Mina, who just arrived in Seoul this morning, waves her phone in front of you and Hyunjin. “I have a surprise for you, Hwang Hyunjin!” she squeals as Chaeyeon grabs her phone to read news from an entertainment website.

“Ballerina Myoui Mina has been added to the Dancing with the Stars lineup,” she reads loudly. Seungmin, Jeongin, and Felix clap at this while you and Chaeyeon are grinning, knowing what the news is about.

“When asked about whom her partner, she said,” Chaeyeon pauses, gesturing at Mina to deliver the good news herself.

Mina clears her throat. “She said, ‘This has never been done before but I begged the producers to cast a friend of mine.’ “

Hyunjin perks up at the word friend, but says nothing while Seungmin mutters a surprised, “Ah!”

“’And that friend is my best friend from high school, Hwang Hyunjin.’”

All of you gather around Hyunjin, giving him a tight group hug. Other people are eyeing you with annoyance but none of you cares. Seungmin and Jeongin are beyond ecstatic, trying to attack the tall boy with kisses.

“Myoui Mina!” Hyunjin exclaims as he shoves Jeongin off. “You’re the best!” he shouts, causing Mina to laugh. Everyone has realized that the graceful and famous Mina is here in the middle of audience; they’re now snapping photos of her while whispering to each other.

“Oh anyways, I also have a surprise for you.” Hyunjin takes out his phone to show you a poster of Lee Jungjin. “He’s holding a concert. I’ve booked tickets for us.”

You squeal, smooching his cheek hard. “I’m proud of you. So proud.”

The music is getting louder and soon, Jisung appears on stage. He just stands there, looking at his fans with so much gratitude. “He’s looking at them like that but can you guys guess what he’s thinking about?” Chaeyeon asks.

“Hmm… he’s forgetting his lyrics?” Seungmin guesses.

Jeongin adds, “He forgot his lyrics and now writing the new one inside his head.”

“This is Han Jisung we’re talking about,” Chaeyeon scoffs. “Pay attention. He wants to pee.”

You snort, about to voice out a witty reply but Jisung has greeted the audience. “Chan and I originally wanted to start with a club banger. But then we decided to dedicate our first and last songs to our loved ones, especially to our friends and family who are here today.”

He points at your direction, waving back at Mina who can barely contain her excitement. “I started writing this song during high school, when I was insecure and unsure about what I wanted to do,” Jisung continues. “I just found out recently that I never finished writing it, so I did it and now I’m going to perform it for the first time.”

The crowd goes wild as the instrumental starts to play. “This is for my friends, my family; the ones who never leave no matter how many times I’ve made them worried.”

“Also, Lee Chaeyeon!”

Jisung stops to locate Chaeyeon, smiling when he finds his girlfriend fiddling with the hem of her blouse, feeling uncomfortable with the attention she’s getting. “Don’t worry, you’ll hear the song I wrote just for you later.”

He smirks, eyes glinting with mischief that always annoys Chaeyeon. “I’m breaking up with him,” she mutters through gritted teeth while glancing at her shoes. “I set my Instagram to private because of this bastard and his popularity and now he’s embarrassing me in public! He’s dead.”

Mina giggles, forcing her to look at the stage because Jisung continues to stare at her (and all of you). When Chaeyeon finally looks up, he gives her a different kind of smile you’ve never seen before. “This is ‘I See,’” he announces.

“Truthfully I’m very much weak-hearted

If the night is really dark, I’ll be too scared to sleep.”

Hyunjin glances at you, who’s burying your face in his chest because you’re crying. He chuckles, wrapping his arm around you. “Was this one of the songs you read on his notebook?” You nod, sobbing harder as Chaeyeon approaches you with teary eyes. She hugs you from the side, crying along with you.

“Eh eh thank you for worrying about me.

Thank you!”

Soon, all of you are huddled together, with the girls crying and the boys cursing at Jisung for making them cry too. “I can’t believe I’m tearing up at what Han Jisung is rapping,” Seungmin sniffles, smacking Hyunjin on his back when the latter laughs at him.

Jisung crouches down as he gets to the last few lines, wiping his own tears. “He’s already crying and it’s only the first song. Unbelievable,” Chaeyeon sobs.

“Just wait right there, I’ll reach it someday

Stop the clock for a while

The flower will blossom someday

This rocky fantasy

I’ll make sure that I’ll reach that mirage and catch you.”

“J.ONEEEEEEEEE!” you shout as the song comes to an end. You look at each of your friends; Felix who’s gone through everything with you, Mina who’s helped you to feel better about yourself, Seungmin who’s sacrificed a lot for everyone, Chaeyeon and Jeongin who have always been honest to you, and Jisung who’s made you feel loved and appreciated.

And then there’s Hyunjin.

He may not always be the dreamy, mesmerizing Hyunjin you fell in love with back in high school. But this Hyunjin—the one who’s facing his demons, the one who’s showering you with more and more love each day, the one who’s fighting for his dreams—is the Hyunjin whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.

“Mina, will you take a photo with me too?” Felix suddenly asks as Chan enters the stage.

“Lee Felix, stop being such a fanboy!” you protest.

Mina nods, flashing Felix her sweetest smile. “Sure! Who else wants a pic with me?”

Seungmin turns to Felix, wiggling his finger in front him. “Don’t do it,” he warns. “I did that once and my comment section was flooded with my friends asking me to introduce them to her.”

“Shut up!” Chaeyeon snaps. “Please appreciate my boyfriend who’s invited all of you to this holy concert.”

“You want to break up with him, remember?” Hyunjin jokes.

Everyone bursts into a hearty laugh, and you realize how far all of you have come. You and your best friends have survived many obstacles together, and you’re sure there will be more hardships in the future. But you’ll be fine. You have each other, and it’s safe to say that all of you have made a silent promise to always hold each other’s hands. To never let go.

* a convenience store in Korea

AND THATS IT!!!! I’ve finished the most tiring project ever. I hope you can somehow relate to this and feel better about yourself. I really love our little group of friends, I love writing about them a lot. Oh, the translation for I See’s lyrics (this is one of Jisung’s solo mixtape anyways!) belongs to @/seungmnis on Twitter!

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i-totallysassycollection-fa-blog · 5 years

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How to Live the Instant Internet Lifestyle

It is pretty amazing how simple principles can change your perception of how you can start living the Instant Internet Lifestyle you desire! The moment I watched the first two videos, I dumped my entire internet marketing collection and followed all his methods step by step.

Here are the three principles that caught my attention and rocked my world.

1. Forget about quick rick schemes and turn-key systems

The auto-blogs and turn-key websites that promise you more than $1000 per week are probably quick fix hacks that http://www.carinsurancequotesbank.com are not sustainable and will not make you money in the long run. It is funny how many people spend thousands on these schemes and turn-key systems with the hope to becoming millionaires. Here are a few truths... unless your name is Ewen Chia, you can hardly hope to make enough affiliate sales to make a million dollars without creating and selling your own products. Ewen took about 3 years to master internet marketing before becoming a millionaire in another 2 years. This is a total of 5 years of hard work. Now, what makes you think you can achieve that kind of results without hard work? So forget about lazy methods that are probably going to work in the short run and harm you in the long run, and stick with good old fashion internet marketing methods that actually help.

2. Go for hungry markets that are willing to pay you anything to solve their problems

This might sound a little mean... but it works for me and many internet marketers. Choose a market in a lot of pain - they are literally flipping all over in agony and will pay anything for the first solution that relieves that pain. I am talking about health related problems, relationships and of course money generating methods. There are other undiscovered niches which are not served yet or served badly. Make it a point to look at the competitor's offerings to see if you can create an edge over them. For example, if no one was providing quality video lessons on getting back together with your ex-girlfriend, you should create one and promote it in the market.

3. Stick with a plan

The key to winning is to stick to a plan and change it according to the feedback you are getting. It is not about doing things blindly but about finding a plan that works for you, and creating measures or pit-stops to tell you whether it is working or not. The stronger the feedback, the better you will get at what you do. For example, I signed up for Lee McIntyre's 52 weeks instant internet lifestyle intensive because I wanted quality feedback from him on a weekly basis on what I was doing right or wrong. I simply needed to follow the steps he provided and get feedback during a weekly coaching call.

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yoolee · 7 years

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About Lee

@cavern-of-bells made a FUN LIST OF THINGS so I answered them.

1. What kind of food can’t you stand?: I fervently avoid all food that squelches – like grapes and ‘gelatinous snow fungus’ (that is a google-translated name for a mushroom in a soup my roomie from China made me once – aside from that ingredient, it was interesting). I’ve never, not once in my life, eaten Jello.

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?: Smoke alarm chirping. I could also happily do without pharmaceutical ads, which I think should be illegal, and election campaign ads.

3. Have you got any useless talents?: AHAHAHA. I can sing the chipmunk Christmas song and say the alphabet backwards? I’m also hypermobile—did a stint in the local circus as a contortionist in high school. (non-animal circus – just acrobatic acts)

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be?: Making people smile.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking: Mila Kunis, Barbara Palvin, Wendell Lissimore, Chris Evans, Zendaya Coleman, Natalie Portma, Godfrey Gao

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid?: READING (/daydreaming about book worlds) but also figure skating while we could still afford it. It was as close to flying as I could get!

7. What is something you’re proud of?: When I was in my MBA program, my 59 classmates voted me ‘Most Likely to Change the World’. It’s framed next to my diplomas. Though, to be fair, it also sort of haunts me because I feel like I’m not living up to it.

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate?: I despise being patronized. Being ignorant and refusing to admit it in the face of facts.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower?: Leader - not a good one, but, I’m not a follower.

10. What kind of student are/were you?: A really lazy, procrastinating one who still got A’s/B’s. I was a really good test taker.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life?: Reading in class in 7th grade science. My teacher made a deal with me – if I could pass the pre-quiz at the start of every week, he’d let me read instead of pay attention, but he would get to pick the book. He introduced me to Michael Crichton and Anne McCaffery, which were my first forays into sci-fi, and my involvement in that has rippled through most of my major friend groups since. Alternately, attending a training at my first career job, which introduced me to the career I now have.

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion: Ants. I hate ants. Where there’s one, there’s hundreds, and there’s nowhere I can go that they can’t get too, and they’re small enough to crawl in your nose and stuff. I sat in a fire ant hill as a kid, which was strike one. Strike two was moving into a house that had been abandoned for seven months when I was in third grade – turned on the tub water and it came out black there were so many ants in the pipes, and they just POURED into the tub and swarmed up the sides oh god it was like a horror movie. Other than that, most of my fears are pretty average – failure, my family being hurt, etc.

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable?: I am self-centered enough to find myself in most characters – there’s usually one or two aspects that line up. Unless they are Lawful Good then I’m like…uuuugh. Nope, nothing there.

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties?: I am a giggly, ballet-dancing drunk. I get hyper paranoid about my spatial issues so I literally go into ballet-mode because the movements are naturally slower and more flowy. I am also pretty clingy drunk. I like to snuggle, which is funny because sober me is not big on touching or being touched. Not to overanalyze, but I think being drunk takes away the fear of that. At parties I am that awkward wall-hovering introvert who likes to find an extrovert and make them talk while I nod and wait to GTFO. I spent the entirety of my bro’s wedding reception babysitting a 4 and 5 year old because it was so much less stressful than making small talk (simultaneously playing Go Fish AND Who’s Who Monster Edition LIKE A CHAMP)

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone?: AHAHAHAHA no. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever honestly been in love – just more fond of one person than most. Invariably, I find I prefer my own company to theirs after a time.

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends?: This is a really hard one. 100 casual friends means more people to do stuff with, but, I treasure my close friends. I don’t know. Pass!

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak?: I. AM. SUCH. A. SLOB. *sobs* My room should have a hazard sign.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy: I am not feeling creative – a bedroom that cleans itself, with lots of soft, fuzzy blanket piles and pillows, with tea services (including scones!) and lots of bookshelves. A view of a duck pond would be appreciated too lololol.

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?: I don’t have kids. I truly treasure spending time with the kids in my family, and I work part-time as a princess/elf/storyteller at the local zoo – I like kids, but, I am a really selfish and self-centered person, and I move on to new things—including people—with serious regularity. I don’t think I would be a good parent at all. I wish I could be, but, knowing my flaws, it would be really irresponsible to have kids.

20. What was your favorite book as a child? Elementary school – it was a book about a little black cat who went to boarding school, and there was a yellow spotted cat with a fire truck. Don’t remember the name. I also love the Wizard of Oz books (SO DARK). As a middle schooler – The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley. I needed a Mary Sue at that point in my life. Also loved the Dragonsinger series by Anne McCaffery, and everything by Mercedes Lackey and Tamora Pierce. In high school…The Things They Carried, I suppose. Now, probably Fuyumi Ono’s Twelve Kingdom’s series. It’s YA, but, the characters are so flawed, and so redeemed, I find it really interesting.

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about: Disney World

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated: The Emperor’s New Groove is the best Disney movie ever. ALSO, Mary Sues. Middle School me needed Mary Sues. I think most do. Go easy on ‘em.

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose?: UM. HM. Someone who doesn’t need to shower to smell clean? XD Lady Luck, maybe. It would be fascinating to watch – both good and bad luck – unfold all around.

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday?: This feels super arrogant – but I’d like to be a good enough author to have a book published and do a book signing. With people who actually come to get the book signed!

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?: I like to work behind the scenes. Usually I write like a multi-page rebuttal with linked references, but I rarely post it. Sometimes I do. I call my senators roughly weekly, for what that’s worth, but public discourse is not my thing.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?: ….uuuum. Hmm. Butterfly clips, maybe? But then, it was the 90s and I was eleven, so.

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?: I DON’T CRINGE AT MYSELF but Dragonball Z. XD I forgive my kid/adolescent self for a lot, okay.

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?: The willingness to publically, and politely, engage in debate in service of someone else. Genuine ability to interact with other people in a way that leaves them feeling better for having interacted with you.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.): LITERALLY, DUCKS. I love ducks. People give me ceramic ducks all the time. Also socks, because my grandma collected fancy decorative perfume bottles and one Christmas my mom and I went to like 10 stores looking for one she didn’t have and I pitched a FIT saying when I was older I was going to collect socks because you always need more, and there’s no way people would run out of options for me. My family thought this was hilarious and took me up on it. My grandpa shipped me socks from the dollar store once a month while I was in college.

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones?: I wish I did! I can cuss in quite a few, and I know some conversational Irish from studying abroad there and studying it.

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside?: Having lived in both – the big city. It’s too easy to self-isolate in the countryside, and for me, personally, that’s fairly unhealthy. Countryside is definitely prettier and more peaceful, just, not for me.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving?: Literally all the time. Like, Mitsunari in SLBP for example!

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?: Ahahahaha give me all of the attention please /sigh

34. Favorite holiday?: Halloweeeeen. But I also really like Diwali even if I feel a little bit like I am trespassing/being a tourist. It’s just beautiful.

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously?: “PLANNED” AHAHAHA WHAT IS THAT WORD IDK. I am so last-minute and haphazard it’s absurd.

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) : The pleasure of reading books in middle school. Those ‘first’ exposures, without expectation or standards. EVERYTHING was magical and exciting, and I devoured it all. Alternately, college.

37. What hobbies do you have?: UM. I dress up as a princess/superhero and visit kids in the hospital which is…weird, I know. I get paid to do it at the zoo, and some parents reached out to them and asked if we could visit and then it became a thing. Less so now that I’m in a new city. Martial arts (Hapkido, Judo, Taekwondo), ballet, baking with zucchini, photoshopping, reading, writing SLBP fanfiction, playing otome games…XD

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have?: THE ABILITY TO FEEL WELL-RESTED AT ANY TIME. Or good luck, but I’d argue that would be more than mildly useful. Ability to find the right thing to say to cheer someone up!

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you: Online folks are usually surprised to learn I’m old? Friends IRL are usually surprised I’m Chaotic Evil (I won’t say I’m two-faced, I’ll say I try really hard to be nice, and I act like it well, but it is an act – I don’t genuinely possess any empathy to speak of. I will listen to you, but I probably don’t actually care, I just want to – there is a difference) and work folks are usually pretty surprised at the Chemistry background. FOLLOWERS OF THIS BLOG won’t be surprised but, I friggen love Waffle House. That usually throws people for al oop.

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out: That I’m bi? I was on BC for so long I thought I was ace, so when I finally developed a drive in my late/mid-twenties it was sort of shocking to realize it’s only rarely set to hetero, and like, I still don’t know how to act on that. ALSO for years I had no idea there was a little arrow on your gas gauge to tell you which side the gas pump’s on – comes in super handy in rental cars.

41. Worst injury you’ve had? Physically? Fell out of a tree as a kid and snapped an arm bone in half – one half went on top of the other. Other things have happened that took longer to emotionally recover, but, physically that was the worst probably. Weirdly, I fell off of the roof with no injury, but…idk I’m weirdly durable.

42. Any morbid fascinations?: Snake venom. I could probably write a dissertation.

43. Describe your sense of humor: I LOVE PUNS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I like ‘smart’ humor (puns are clever) and nerdy humor, but I don’t like mean humor. I also laugh at gallows humor a lot.

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose?: Okay this is really hard because I would be useless in most other eras and I would miss indoor plumbing and women’s rights and people not regularly dying around me. I am probably biased by being interested in times with the best myths/stories. Ancient Egypt? Viking Age? Basically any time period in China or Japan because my US-centric world history studies seriously failed me they are a bit of a fascinating mystery.

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at: LOL this would be a long list. (you said ‘thing’ singular, I am taking that as a friendly suggestion not a mandate) Push-ups (hypermobile elbows, okay). Cleaning. LOGISTICS AND PLANNING OH LORD. Editing my own work. SMALL TALK oh god I am the worst at small talk I even took a class on it trying to get better. Gracefully accepting compliments - how does one do that and not come off as obnoxious ;.;

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through: Most recently, dumping a Really Good Guy. A past me would have just quietly let it fade into oblivion and that would have been worse. I think?

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.): lololol oh my gosh. I don’t like offending people. So. I guess pretty one on my face.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?: Eeeeeeh.I guess optimist, but that’s mostly laziness.

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you?: That I have made their life better or brighter somehow.

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you: I am simultaneously incredibly confident about things and incredibly craven about people! And that’s hard for people to get sometimes. Like, my writing I am wholly confident of and proud of to the point of arrogance – as a thing. But the moment someone talks to me about it I get petrified because oh god what if I, as a person say or do something that turns them off to the point where they can’t enjoy the writing (the thing). It’s greatly exacerbated by the internet where I can’t read tone or facial expressions – but I’m still pretty bad about this offline too. Like, I hate even going to Chipotle or Qdoba where there isn’t a big line of people (if there’s a big line of people everything is hustling and bustling and moving along) – I greatly dislike social interactions that lack a script. But, put my project in front of a board of directors or the company president, and I will kick tush and take names. It’s a weird dichotomy, but that’s how I’m wired.

THIS WAS FUN. GOOD QUESTIONS

I TAG YOU, PERSON READING THIS.

#about yoolee

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little-kitty-kanny · 7 years

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answer all of them

Here weeeeeeeeee gooooooo, I’m going to use a read more because this is gonna be hella long

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

I wanna say like Sunday? I think that’s when I last worked. Sometimes I’ll sing under my breath at work.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

If my meds are going to keep working for me.

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

I’m still alive.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

My youngest sister is curled up fast asleep next to me.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I’d probably be a lot warmer to people. I’d spend a lot more time with people that I care about.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

Not really to be honest.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

Well, she’s got pretty curly hair, and the prettiest blue eyes you’ve ever seen. She’s likes to draw and she’s very good at it. She got me more involved in art and drawing. She started the playing the trumpet and has been in love with it ever since. She marches and looks like a boss ass bitch doing it. Music is her passion, but loves learning about how we as humans think and express emotion. She’s lovable and the bestest friend a person could ever ask for. Even though our interests differ a little more now than they did when we first met, she’s been by my side through eleven years of nonsense, heartbreak, and absolute fuckery.

She’s my best friend in the whole wide world and I love her to bits.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

My childhood was decent enough.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

Huh....this had to be sometime last week. I didn’t cry this time talking with my counselor.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

Neil Degrasse Tyson so he could tell me all about the cosmos and the different stars.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

I dunno....like it’d depend on the situation. I’ve had conversations with strangers, but never very deep ones, unless they’ve come forward to talk to me about a really personal situation.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

Either you or Beth, I can’t remember.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

I’d tell my mom that I love her and to tell her to tell the others I love them too.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

Well I like them, but that might be because I have them myself. :P

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.” I’ve had my fair share of hurt and setbacks, but now I’m working to make myself better and working to move past it. I’m acknowledging that things have happened to me that can never be undone, but that doesn’t mean other people’s selfishness or my own mistakes have to control who I am right now.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

Whelp, Look at This Absolute Fuckery.

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

Pay my student loans...all my student loans because I’m still only in my undergrad and I’ll at least need a Masters or PhD.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

No, I’m not always forgiving. I’ve tried to be better about it, but there are still situations in which I find it hard to forgive.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Whelp kiddo, lemme teach you some things. Anyone who says they’d kill themselves without you is not your friend. YOU are NOT responsible for the happiness of the whole damn world. You need to take care of yourself and stop worrying so much about other people.You’ll have to break some hearts, but baby, it’s gonna be for the best. You’re gonna have people who don’t like you, but FUCK them. You’re not doing anything wrong, people can be cruel when you tell them things they don’t like.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Ugh...I’d like to say punk, but probably more like pastel. I do like soft colors and that kind of aesthetic.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I like them. I’m actually thinking about getting a tattoo soon, but I’m still deciding on an artist. I won’t ever get my ears pierced again though. I learned the hard way I can only wear surgical steel earrings....*shudders* never again.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Meh, I wouldn’t say a lot of makeup. I usually only wear it to events, on holidays, and occasionally for work, but I definitely wear it more than I used to.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

Metallica was my childhood, so I guess I’ll go with them. My dad’s loved them since they started making music and we’d always listen to it together. We don’t do it so much now that we’re both adults with responsibilities, but sometimes we still have time to listen to it together.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

JUST BE FUCKING NICE TO EACH OTHER,POWERFUL BEINGS ABOVE.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

Carnival of Madness....I wanna say it was 2012- This was the first concert I went to. It was my sixteenth birthday present. My dad took me and I’d never felt so amazed and excited. One of the newer bands actually signed some CDs and sold them, so I go to meet one of the members of a band called New Medicine. I also got to watch Amy Lee perform, and she was my singing idol as a child.It was pretty amazing, even if I was anxious because of the large crowd and tight groups of people.

Carnival of Madness 2016 was about one of the only GOOD things to happen that year. That was my sister’s first concert. It was AMAZING. All the bands were wonderful. Hats off to Whiskey Meyer because I’ve never seen anyone rock out to a cowbell, but man, they did. Halestorm was amazing as always....AND SHINEDOWN WAS FUCKING FANTASTIC. They were amazing and omg I fell in love with the music all over again is was great.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

.....you know I don’t really know.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

I have a desk, and I finally cleaned it.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

Lol, don’t really have one.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

The reason I didn’t want to drive is because at that time I was so suicidal all I could do is imagine driving the car into a wall or something else that would end me quick.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I wanna dye my hair purple again, I’ve just been too lazy to do it.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

I dunno...I’d definitely take my best friend, but lately I’ve had some....issues with friends....so I’m not sure who’s my friend right now and who is.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

Nah, this one’s gonna get dark.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

I was Wednesday Addams for Halloween last year. I spray painted my hair black and wore it in braids. Everyone at the costume party knew immediately who I was just by looking at me. :)

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I’ve never been drunk or high so nothing I suppose.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Murder

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

As painful as this is- one song. Because you can mute a song....but you can’t replace people.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

Oooooooh boy.....yeah I’ve thought I was, but I don’t think I really was. Or maybe I was with one person.

I just realized I felt completely comfortable with this person. When this person was upset, I wanted nothing more than to fix whatever was going on. I was just happy being friends with that person....and I wanted them to be very happy, even if it wasn’t with me. It was fucking agony and pain and it made my heart hurt....but hey...isn’t love supposed to make you feel something?

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

One word- cowlicks

So no short hair for this girl.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Eh, it varies. I usually get some sort of frappachino. My mom knows me pretty well, so she’ll occasionally get me some when she gets hers.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

That would still be my family.

#ask #asks #kan answers an ask #drumandbugle-bae

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