yeah i'm one spoon away from setting the ends of my hair on fire if i'm kindling for a little while at least i'll feel of use... promise me that you'll start where i end and i promise to give you everything that i am and it goes on, and on, and on... we'll go on and on and on in the end all i hope for is to be a bit of warmth for you when there's not a lot of warmth left to go around.

Could I pretty pretty please get some more on the time travel crack au? Maybe when it gets out that Steve, Bruce, andThor are technically from the future?

As much as I’d love to jump to that part, I think it’s funnier necessary to cover a few other tidbits first. For example:

Tony misses whatever discussion follows Thor’s -- hah, got it right in one, he hasn’t lost his touch completely yet -- arrival before the god carries his brother off towards a containment cell with the sort of cheer that causes Tony to carefully keep at least two people between himself and Thor, lest the asshole tries to hug him again.

Not that it can be that big a loss considering they all -- sans Loki -- end up back in the command center of the helicarrier, where Fury glares balefully at the most recent invader of his precious aircraft that clearly isn’t meant to stand in the way of gods.

A glare Thor aggressively doesn’t notice. Likely because he’s too busy partaking in the on-going discussion on what to do next.

And by ‘what to do next’ Tony doesn’t mean the expected we-were-invaded-by-a-mindcontrolled-alien-nutbag-and-there’s-probably-more-out-there-seems-like-the-kind-of-oh-shit-situation-we-should-plan-for. No. That would be reasonable and expected and Tony’s spent all of three hours in the company of the esteemed Captain America and already he can tell you that Rogers is none of that.

[Which, not cool, Capsicle. Dazzling and befuddling people with crazily brilliant ideas is his job.]

[continues under the cut]

So far, Tony’s been paying attention for ten minutes. In that time, Rogers and Thor have gotten into an argument over how to handle Loki -- which holy shit, that went from a calm, rational discussion to a battle to the death between two superhumans on a sugar high in zero point four seconds -- that Tony is so not gonna touch. [Nope. Let some other fool [i.e. Rogers] throw himself head-first into norse god family drama, Tony’s own feelings concerning his family are complicated enough.] That conversation devolved into a not-openly-fighting-while-totally-fighting stand-off between Rogers and Banner over a way too bitter comment from the latter [something about ‘you’d know all about choosing one brother over the other, wouldn’t you’ which what?], which in turn gets derailed by Banner needling Thor about the merits of beheading over stabbing.

Romanoff had the good sense to disappear -- probably to interrogate Loki while his apparently protective big brother is distracted, now that Tony thinks about it. 

Unfortunately that still leaves Tony stuck here, having to play the role of the mature adult because no one else fucking will. Tony hates being responsible. It’s like being back in high school and being left to do all the work on your own in group project.

[Tony failed that project. Got a straight up zero on purpose because spite is a wonderful motivator. Which, now that Tony thinks about it, doesn’t say anything promising about the current situation.]

Tony leans even further back in his seat, only balancing on the backlegs of the chair, to give Fury a very sharp, very judgemental look.

These are the people you’re betting Earth’s survival on, that look says.

Fury’s already pissed off expression darkens further, which brightens Tony mood substantially. That one of the suit’s sensors flashes green twice in quick succession less than a minute later really just makes for a delicious cherry on the top. Or more precisely a good excuse to ditch this trainwreck of a match-making attempt.

“Whoops,” Tony says, clearly audible but not too loud to draw real attention from the three [still arguing-while-pretending-not-to] stooges on the other end of the room. “Looks like I gotta take this call.”

He jiggles his fingers at Fury. The guy rolls his eyes -- probably jealous that he doesn’t have an excuse himself, that bitch face doesn’t fool Tony -- but no one tries to stop him.

“Alright, J, what do you have for me?”

*

Tony pretends not to notice the shuffling footsteps. Glances at the disturbingly normal clock on the wall that is so not up-to-date with the rest of the technology in the room, it must be an inside joke. Tony would love to meet the SHIELD agent behind it -- it can’t be easy, being the only person with a sense of humor in an entire agency.

30 minutes.

Well. That’s longer than Tony thought he’d get. JARVIS still hasn’t cracked the last layer on SHIELD’s really fucked up dirt -- and given what he’s already found, that says a lot -- but it’s only a matter of time now. Besides, Tony’s got a job to do.

“To- Stark.”

“Rogers.”

Tony doesn’t turn. Neither does he stop typing.

“What are you doing?”

Tony scoffs. He’s not in the mood to pander to inferior minds -- not when they’re so fucking frustrating, don’t make any sense and worst of all make him do all the work. 

“He’s tracking the Tesseract, using the scepter as a point of reference,” Banner says after taking one look at the screen over Tony’s shoulder.

Tony raises his eyebrows, impressed despite himself. Banner’s credentials clearly don’t do him justice -- and they were pretty damn good to begin with.

“Huh,” says Rogers.

Thanks for playing. Now buckle down and make yourself useful or fuck off, Tony wants to snipe but doesn’t get the chance to because the gods -- this god at least -- just aren’t on his side.

“Even without my brother’s help, a weapon of the tesseract’s might should not be underestimated,” Thor speaks up. “Should we not make haste and collect it?”

"Great idea.” Tony’s voice is dryer than the sand dune he crash-landed in back during his fun little trip to Afghanistan. “If only I’d thought of that instead of inventing fifteen new algorithms to try and get a read on SHIELD’s precious magic eight ball while you were busy defending your brother’s honor. Speaking of, I’m pretty sure Romanoff is a greater danger to his virtue than Captain Shockfreeze over there, so why are you still here?”

Okay, maybe poking the hornet nest that is godly family isn’t his smartest move [didn’t he just say he wasn’t gonna touch that?!] but damn if Tony isn’t curious. And also too annoyed to care about unimportant, subjective things like good manners and tact.

He sort of regrets his cavalier attitute a little when Thor sobers. At least there are no tears in sight. Tony is the last person on Earth who should be left unsupervised around crying people. It just never ends well.

“Ah.” Thor sighs heavily, stems his body against an unfortunate table that creaks dangerously. "I’m afraid I can’t afford to see my brother right now.”

It’s the way he says those words, the weight they carry more than anything that tells Tony he needs to drop this issue right now. Talk about one huge trigger button.

Must be inconvenient to have siblings. Tony totally can’t relate.

“Well, in that case, unless you have a magic trick with which you can pull the Tesseract’s position out of your sleeve, how about you sit as far away from these delicate instruments as possible and don’t touch anything while I work my magic, hm?”

Tony doesn’t let his gaze linger on the crushed edge of the table. Thor hasn’t even seemed to notice. He’s too busy lighting up at Tony’s snappish response. Which is surprising. Tony’s aware he’s a bit of an asshole right now. In his defence, he’s an asshole most of the time.

Rogers leaps across the room -- almost crashing into the previously mentioned delicate sensors as he does so -- to slap his palm over Thor’s mouth.

Tony stares. [How quickly can you develop a new habit again? Because this starts to feel like a new habit.]

“That sounds like a great plan!” Rogers beams at him, so wide and fake it must be physically painful for the epitome of all that is good and holy. At least Tony hopes it is. The supersoldier his father worshipped is still clinging to their resident god of thunder’s face.

It’s.

Tony resolutely turns his back on both of them because their madness doesn’t seem to come with a refund-ticket and if Tony doesn’t finish this program, no one will.

Not even Banner -- whom Tony had been kind of hoping for. Speaking of, the man’s been awfully quiet for a while now.

“You alright there, Brucie-Bear?” Tony turns around -- a little because it’s polite to face people when you talk with them and mostly to have an excuse not to watch the ongoing doomed wrestle-match between Blonde 1 and Blonde 2. His awesome nicknaming skill doesn’t get so much as a twitch.

To be fair, Banner is so busy staring straight ahead with the most epic rendition of the World’s Most Thoughtful Expression™ Tony has seen in a while that it doesn’t seem like the man heard him. At all.

Until he suddenly speaks up.

“I think we’ve forgotten something.” Behind Tony the impromptu wrestling comes to a sudden halt.

Probably something negligible like how to focus on a mission, the sarcastic voice in the back of Tony’s mind drawls. Though it should be noted that Tony’s consciousness only comes in sarcastic or not at all. Sorry, everyone, all the other flavors are out.

Banner’s frown deepens. “Something- Something important.”

Right on cue an explosion rocks the aircraft.

*

There’s a bit more tension in this part than the previous ones. On Tony’s side it’s because he’s smart enough to pick up on Something Is Seriously Wrong, both consciously and subconsciously and also because he feels the pressure what with everyone else apparently not taking this whole thing very seriously.

[Excluding Natasha who, believe me, takes Clint’s fate very serious indeed.]

On our time travellers’ side, they experience the frustration of being unable to talk openly, surrounded by people they don’t trust, trying to play along to the script of a movie they watched like 12 years ago and never revisited. Needless to say they’re failing horrenduously.

Top 5 male LI in Choices and why?? 😊

Yay! I get to gush about my boys 😁 thanks @carinacassiopeiae!

I think we all know what my first one is going to be 🤣 but I’ll put them all out there and play fair. Honestly, a lot of these are probably paired together for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place... no real 4th or 5th haha.

Top Five

1. Chris Powell

Why? TF was the first book I ever played in Choices and he was so sweet to MC when he first met (crashed into) her (“oh no, your outfit!” *runs to get napkins*)... I guess I fell for him haha. He wasn’t perfect at first, but he worked hard to right his wrongs and is very thoughtful/caring when it comes to his friends and family. He’s very understanding, tries ridiculously hard on things he attempts, and believes there is good in everyone. All of this reminds me of another great man, one Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. I love a loyal, honest Cap.

2. Ernest Sinclaire

Why? He’s basically Darcy lol. And I love me some Darcy. This poor guy has been burned, badly... though we don’t find out for quite some time. Which means his initial impression is rough, but when he starts to trust again and opens up, it’s breathtaking. I feel like he’s one of the best 180 character developments in Choices, because once you crack him open, he’s a completely different person. He’s so tender, so caring (the women/children!), so proud of MC and everything she does, so supportive, so devoted... *blissful sigh* He’s a sweet and proper Darcy man.

3. Adrian Raines

Why? Well, he’s an extremely complicated character. He was loving man and proud father, living a simple life and loving it... before he lost it all. Becoming a vampire changed that, but eventually he realized what he had become and hated it. So he worked hard to transform into a great man. He would sacrifice himself for the greater good if needed. He’s attentive, hyper aware, very smart and calculating, but most of all he wants to be good with a passion and that makes him honorable and trustworthy. I mean... Kamilah trusts him with her life - that says a lot.

4. Hayden Young/Damien Nazario

I know I typed two - but hear me out: I can’t choose between them, and here’s why...

Hayden - the way this man loves, and I mean MC, others and most importantly, life itself... is amazing. It’s indescribable. Sure, he’s not technically a biological man, but he has the heart and mind of one. A great one. Watching him experience life, more so after he gets woke, is a wonderful experience. It’s almost like seeing the world through the eyes of a child... so innocent, so pure. He understands just how fleeting life is, because he’s been fighting for his since he was first turned on. The pain in his eyes when he realizes he wasn’t a “real” man, but the way the fog vanishes from them once he learns to live and love again... it’s beautiful.

Damien - he’s just about Hayden’s polar opposite, but that’s only part of why I can’t choose between them. This man is real, like painfully real. He’s stubborn, he’s brutally honest, he’s blunt and to the point, but he also knows what’s right and he will die fighting for it. For them - because he knows how dark the world can be and he won’t let it get them if he can help it. But that’s what makes him so endearing, because he chooses to still let MC, Nadia and Hayden into his world despite all of that. Despite his frustrating past and failures. He knows what’s worth the risk, and he never gives up. Ever.

5. Liam Rys/Drake Walker

I know, another shared LI lol. I can’t choose because they are each ideal in different situations. Both are kinda perfect (to me) and here’s why...

Liam - he’s a prince for crying out loud. Disney has worked hard to make many little girls grow up wanting to be a princess. But besides all of that, the man is amazing. Being a political figure is difficult - but being a royal, yikes. Still, this man has such a level head, and talk about loyalty. He knew Leo wasn’t cut out for the job, but someone had to do it. He stepped up and sacrificed so his brother could be free, knowing what it would mean for his own life in return. Liam is loyal to a fault - to his country and it’s people, his family, his friends and of course (eventually) his love. Some of which never deserve it, but he gives it anyway. Look at how he cares for publicly sour people like Drake and Olivia - he can see the good in eveyone and he tries to be who others expect him to be while never losing who he really is inside. He’s fair, he’s just and he’s made of steel. He’s basically Superman.

Drake - in the beginning, this guy is salty, but he honestly has a few reasons to be. People can be rude, snobbish and down right shitty when they think someone isn’t worthy. But Liam could always see his true value, his true character just like Drake could see his. This man loves his best friend, and he knows the pressures Liam endures, so he sacrifices his own comforts, his own desires to stay close and be there for him. Whenever. Wherever. Dispite what others think of him. That is loyalty you can’t buy, and Liam knows it. Once you crack through Drake’s crusty shell, you are gifted with such a sweet and kind soul. He loves animals (horses yay!) and is ridiculously kind. He looks after MC even though he knows she’s supposed to be doing it for Liam - and even when he tells her he has feelings for her (or she tells him), he denies himself... because he loves Liam that much.

Honorable Mentions

Zig Ortega

I love this guy, and if it wasn’t for Chris, who kept me diamond broke and distracted with his blue eyes and cute smirk... Zig would have been a big contender. I feel like I still have so much to learn about him. I never gave him enough time because I was always guilty when I didn’t choose Chris lmao.

Ethan Ramsey

This man is an onion. Layers, upon layers, upon layers... I haven’t read through Open Heart many times, but I’m pretty sure I would fall for him pretty hard if so. He’s an interesting character, very intense while somehow incredibly soft. He just needs to be peeled...!

Logan NoName

One can assume he has no last name because he’s basically a runaway who got caught up in the auto theft world. It hasn’t been an easy life - he has scars, both physical and emotional, and they run deep. He’s good at this life, but it’s because he had to be. And he loves his crew, but that’s because it’s the only family hes truly ever known. He deserves so much more.

Flynn O’Malley

This guy is a pitbull. He fights for what’s right, and never lets go. He’s also very sweet, and insanely loyal. He’s also pretty sassy and I love his “John Bender” attitude haha. I’ve always been sad we only got to see him and the Veil of Secrets crew for one book...

Jax Matsuo

This guy is old school, in every way. If tradition had a picture next to it in the dictionary, you’d find one of Jax. He doesn’t forgive and forget easily, but I honestly don’t blame him. It’s hard to be cheerful when people are constantly trying to kill you off. Even so, he stands up for what’s right, he stands up for “the little guy” even if he doesn’t know them. He is justice.

I have a question but I just want to say first that I love your theories. They’re very well thought-out and interesting. Anyway, I wanted to ask if you could explain how Mike is queer-coded? I’ve seen you mention it and I’ve seen others talk about his attraction to androgynous El, but is there more? Thanks!

ALOT MORE! I talked about it here in the past- but without getting too much into s3 (since I’ve already talked about s3 byler extensively).I’ll just have links for everything I noticed in s3 at the bottom of this post. In regards to s1 and 2, Mike was heavily coded as queer. But most significantly this was done in s1- arguably he was more queer coded than Will ever was. I won’t get into all the details (we’d be here all day) but the highlights, at the top of my head are-

s1

- Mike in his his basement has a red heart being propelled by a rainbow.

- 4 separate characters said El looked like a boy, but Mike doesn’t care! Even one of the men thought El might be the missing ‘Byers boy’. When El loses her wig , Troy said “she doesn’t even look like a girl” to the cops. But Mike just calls her “really pretty”

-Nancy says “I thought you were acting weird, but I thought it was because of Will” And Mike responds “I thought you were acting weird too I thought it was because of Steve … Do you like Jonathan now”?” Nancy: “No, do you like Eleven?”. They literally compared the explicit love triangle between Steve/Nancy/Jonathan to the Will-Mike-El dynamic!

- Mike literally uses gender inclusive pronouns when talking about crushes using the word “someone” (3 times), and embarrassing himself because he can’t articulate the difference between friendship and romance. When he could of simply given the 80s heteronormative  answer of ‘when a boy likes a girl’.

Mike: “ you go to school dances with someone. 

You know someone that you like” 

El: “a friend?”

Mike: ‘not a friend uh … uh someone like a” (gives up and kisses her)

-Mike’s mom said “ What’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I just … want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to HIDE anything from me” (she even emphasizes the word ‘hide”  (which is heavily queer coded)

- when Will ‘dies’, “we can be heroes” by David bowie (a bisexual singer) plays,   “And we kiss as though nothing could fall and the shame” is the lyric that plays when Mike returns to his house and cries in his mother’s arms over the ‘death’ of Will. Do I have to explain how ‘kissing and shame’ are queer-coded . And how such a lyric is oddly romantic- if we’re supposed to see their bond as nothing but platonic XD

-his dad jokes “Absolutely not” *turns to wife* “our son with a girl?”.

- when Lucas makes fun of his crush on EL, Lucas gets down on one knee  and says “ I love you so much, will you marry me?” and literally 1s later, we’re introduced to the bullies and the idea (for the first time) that Will is ‘gay’, and Mike is in the forefront of the scene and unlike his friends he is THE ONLY ONE physically assaulted (like a gay-bashing) .  They leave Lucas and Dustin unharmed. Even though Lucas just proposed to another guy- which should have gotten him a beating by the homophobic bullies.

It’s supposed to subconsciously hint Mike is queer like Will, and likes Will. The first interaction with the bullies, they mention Will being ‘gay’ right after they mention Mike’s crush on androgynous El and have a guy propose to Mike. Mike says to “ignore them” ( the homophobic remarks) but is assaulted anyways. And when asked what happed he doesn’t want to tell El the details cause he’s ashamed . 

2nd time the bullies talk about Will, Mike is once again in the forefront, unlike his straight friends who are in the background . But this time Mike initiates the confrontation), as the bullies say Will is “flying in fairyland with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay”. Mike was literally on the verge or tears at this comment (despite being happy a few moments earlier , telling the others to ‘act sad’ because they’d look suspicious other wise). But this is the comment where Mike snaps and pushes Troy back (because he took it personally/wanted to defend Will). 

The framing of Mike once again being in the front and snapping at the homophobic remarks (these gifs don’t do it justice, just rewatch the scene -Mike eyes water at the remarks). Then the last time the bullies appear , Mike jumps off the cliff and “flies like a fairy” (like Troy said) thanks to El . Troy at the police station even uses the word “fly” not levitate.

- Mike proclaiming “I’m the only one who cares about Will!” Seems like something a kid with a crush might say ( because obviously his other friends care about Will). But he thinks he cares the most.

-Mike sneaking out to find Will, as Steve sneaks in to Nancy’s. They both even make eye contact (and pretend not to have seen each other).

- they share dinosaur toys , in s1 and 2 they appear to be the only ones with dinosaur toys.

- The s1 mom hug scene where Mike feels he lost Will is paralleled in s3 - signifying how he lost him a 2nd time.

- Mike in the 1st ep being the one to insist on looking for Will in the rain (callback to s3). But he never went looking for El when he saw her through his window? Even when Mike saw Will’s dead body, the second he heard his voice he convinced his friends to help rescue him!

- You remember the binder (from s1) that Mike keeps, filled with 100s of Will’s drawings, and how he caresses the drawing after thinking Will was dead. That’s totes platonic.

s2

- Will in all 3 seasons identifies as a wizard. But in s2 Mike (the paladin) says Will is a cleric. Meaning this reflects how Mike actually feels about Will. In d&d, they have similar moral values, powers, and generally need and depend on each other in the lore of d&d. Paladins have similar healing powers to clerics, but clerics have stronger healing abilities - which is interesting since Mike has always been viewed as the protector. But to Mike Will has helped him (maybe deal with the loss of El and other trauma) , just by being there. And if Mike says Will is a cleric,despite Will still identifying as a wizard in s3, it shows how deeply Mike actually feels about Will. It shows he views Will as one of the only people who understands him and views him as a healing presence and his moral compass.

“ strength of conviction gave many paladins a sense of common fellowship but did not always endear them to others. In many cases, paladins did not get along quite as well with other non-paladin adventurers, with the exception of clerics with similar beliefs.”

“A Paladin tries to hold to the highest standards of conduct, but even the most virtuous Paladin is fallible. Sometimes the heat of emotion causes a Paladin to transgress his or her oath (of honesty, courage, compassion, honor ,and duty). A paladin who has broken a vow typically seeks absolution from a cleric who shares his or her faith or from another paladin of the same order. After a rite of confession and forgiveness, the paladin starts fresh.

-Mike stands next to Will under the rainbow poster

- Mike forces Will to dance with a girl, but you literally see Mike’s shocked expression like  ‘what,why’d I do that ?’ And after this, they show Dustin looking sad about Max/Lucas dancing and then they have Mike get into the frame (next to Dustin) and look sad when Will/girl are dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these 2 shots.

- All the mileven byler parallels or byler scenes were almost ALL initiated by Mike. If the parallels were meant to show a one sided love triangle (on Mike’s end). They would of made Will the instigator not Mike! Parallels can be watched here , start at 6:50)

-Mike initiated the “crazy together’ line- and in s3 he said ‘blank makes you crazy’. So subconsciously he knew the line had romantic connotations.

-Mike initiating the hand hold (with a zoom in shot) and in the show this is only done for romantic pairings. Also Mike being the one to initiate the ‘arm thing’ which is generally romantic. But in s3 , Lucas also does this, saying “I am spending quality time with my girlfriend’

-Mike saying, asking him to be his friend was the “best thing I’ve ever done”

-Mike constantly following Will around, asking if he’s okay or biking to his house to check on him. In s3 running out to chase Will to the garage and apologizing, and running into a storm to apologize a 2nd time.

YOU SEE A PATTERN! Mike is whipped! And is the one constantly chasing and pursuing Will, not the other way around! Before s3, people always portrayed Will as the (stereotypical- problematic trope of ) a sad-pinning-gay in a one sided love with Mike. It’s like people didn’t even watch the show (and just assigned tropes/stereotypes they wanted, that weren’t actually there). Will (probably too shy or scared to- because of homophobic taunts) never initiated a single byler moment- it was ALWAYS Mike!!! If people were actually objective, they would of thought it was Mike who was the one pinning! I talked about it here. 

We literally only saw Will pine or be jealous in s3 when Mike was in a relationship with El/when they fought.  

The cannon Spotify playlists

called ‘Mike’s basement beats’- These are character playlists that Spotify and St worked on together after s2.

-his first song is “small town boy” an 80s LGBT anthem about living in a small town and being queer and bullied. Every band member was openly gay.

-his 11th song is ‘don’t you want me’ from a “celebrate your gay pride” album

S3

I’m not repeating my literal essays so here are the links to pretty much all my s3 byler meta.  (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

- brief s3 mentions) it’s implied Will and Mike go on movie double dates all the time (right after he makes out with El). He celebrates the holidays (generally associated with introducing s.os) with Will/El. The breakup with El is treated comedically - and all Mike does is complain and burp on the couch. The byler breakup is serious (with the backdrop of rain)while Mike was visibly upset he hurt Will and apologized twice almost immediately . Running to the garage and then into the rain and banging on his door (s2 callback). The “it was the best thing I’ve ever done “ shed scene was shot purposely more romantic than the pool shed scene of “you’re the most important thing in the world to me”. The fact he think “blank makes you crazy”,and he used a similar line on Will in s2. The fact that Mike equates falling in love with girls as a part of growing up and his love for El as something “old people” say. While his affections for Will , he believes are childish (like d&d) and something he has to grow out of. The “I love her” scene was treated comedically. The last Mike/Will exchange vs Mike having his eyes open and not kissing El back . Not remembering he said “I love her”, and dismissing it as something he said in the heat of the moment. Mike looking back at the Byers house , then flashing to Will crying, than flashing back to Mike hugging his mom. Then those scenes having a monologue about not wanting feelings to change but how it’s inevitable.

Also we see in s3 (in El’s room) the return of the heart being propelled by a rainbow.

No hate, but I’m honestly flabbergasted when people think Mike is straight when he’s literally MORE queer coded than Will. Is it just my autistic brain seeing things as obvious, that others easily miss- or just people refuse to see it … or heteronormativity getting in the way?

gif credit : (not sure about the first 2, tell me if they’re yours so I can give credit), last 3 by  eggogorgon , the last gif by cath-avery

Title: cut me open, bleed me raw

Fandom: MCU

Feat: Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, Romanogers

Rating: T

Summary: set during the five year gap // natasha-centric // “His jawline could cut her, could slice her six different ways with barely any effort.She doesn’t quite understand why that intrigues her.”

His jawline could cut her, could slice her six different ways with barely any effort.

She doesn’t quite understand why that intrigues her.

Because really, despite her appearance and reputation, she’s not the kind of woman who enjoys unnecessary displays of violence. On the contrary, she’s a sucker for a well-written rom-com, and she still sleeps with the stuffed lion that Clint won for her at an amusement park over a decade ago (although that may be for deeper reasons than just her sentimentality).

Maybe it’s the way he’s grown into himself, into the Captain who exists and thrives in this era, instead of the freshly thawed, punch-before-you-look kid he’d been. Maybe it’s the way he’s learned how to slip in a lie with the confidence of a politician, but none of their dirty underhandedness. It could even be the way he spars with her like she’s someone to be reckoned with, not a girl playing at guns and knives.

More likely, it’s that he’s the only one who still visits her regularly at headquarters and looks at her with all the understanding that she needs without any of the pity.

They haven’t slept together. Haven’t even kissed, really. At least, not since that one time in that one mall running from that one guy all those years ago (funny, how the world had seemed like it was ending at the time).

But there have been moments among the Moments—instances occurring between the events of complete lunacy that is now their lives.

He’ll find her, after particularly devastating news have been delivered by one of the remaining team members—after she’s tucked away the part of her that is shredded open and throbbing with hurt hurt hurt—and has implemented some semblance of a plan for damage control. In those moments, he’ll hold her hand, or run fingers through her brittle hair, or sometimes just sit, shoulder-to-shoulder, and let the despair overtake them both for a minute.

There are other times, when the world (the universe, she corrects, because it’s not just Earth that they have to avenge anymore) seems to be on an upward trend, and they can almost forget how epically they have failed as people laugh and live around them.

Those times, it’s usually her that approaches him. She’ll pull up to his rundown apartment in the city (because even still, he prefers the simplicity of a “lower-class” life) with her 1996 Harley-Davidson, and he’ll meet her at his front door already sporting a worn leather jacket and an even more worn out grin. And they’ll go to that tiny, under-crowded Mexican restaurant on the corner of 8th and Broadway and eat their weight in beef tacos with extra cilantro.

He always bets that he can out-eat her, and she always wins.

And if she gets tipsy off of one too many margaritas (he drinks too, but his super soldier blood is still a huge pain in the ass), he’ll take the keys to the bike and she’ll cling to his broad back all the way home. She doesn’t mind, even though she knows he only buys her countless rounds because he loves getting to drive her Harley. Sneaky bastard.

It’s all of these moments and hundreds more that’s led her to where she is now: sipping at her bitter coffee, standing in the shadows of the destitute auditorium, and watching Steve wrap things up with his support group.

When he’d first come to her with the tentative idea to lead a few people in an emotional support group, she’d been the one to find the location and give him a few not-so-subtle nudges. At the time, she’d been relieved. It had been months after the First Moment (aka the Moment it all ended, and the new Steve and Natasha and Avengers began), and he’d been slowly waning into a dark solemnity that surpassed his usual contemplation.

She was already heading the Avengers (what was left of it) and attempting to locate anyone who was lost, and he’d been desperately needing a purpose. It wasn’t that he was doing nothing—because he was shouldering whatever responsibilities she hadn’t been able to catch and doing a phenomenal job at it—but there was a certain heaviness to his whole countenance that made her hackles rise.

That heaviness began to lift incrementally once the group had kickstarted. She’d never asked about the specifics of why or how his old self had returned, but she’d been overwhelmed with relief all the same.

He’d nicknamed the group “The Fledglings” half out of an off-brand kind of humor, and half in respect for Sam Wilson, who’d inspired his idea.

Now, as she listens to the soft, vulnerable tones of the members as they methodically and intentionally face and reface their pain, she thinks the name couldn’t be more perfect.

Natasha studies the slope of Steve’s nose as he announces the next meeting date and time.

Years ago, she remembers doing the same thing during some boring SHIELD debriefing—back when she and him had been a favorite duo of the recon and special ops department—and she’d noted that his nose wasn’t actually as straight as she’d always thought it was. Halfway down the bridge, it juts just slightly to the left, belying a previous break.

It must’ve been from his pre-serum days, since she knows for a fact that he’s taken more than a few nasty hits to his nose in the past few years (one from herself during a particularly aggressive spar), but they’ve always healed perfectly in less than a week. Fucking super soldiers.

She fixates on that little divot for a moment, then follows it down to his lips (which she promptly skips over for reasons she would rather not examine), and finally settles back on his jaw.

It’s still sharp, and she still wants to try her hand at dulling it.

The members begin to disperse, some hanging back to thank Steve or ask him a question. Natasha watches the muscles of his neck shift as he speaks.

Finally, the door shuts behind the last stragglers, and it’s only them.

“There’s no one to hide from here, you know.” Steve doesn’t even look at her when he says it, forearms flexing as he stacks the blue plastic chairs.

She finally steps out from her dark nook, dumping her empty coffee cup in a waste bin on her way. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

At her lack of playful sass that he’s so used to receiving, Steve pauses and eyes her.

“What happened?”

Natasha debates drawing this out, but she’s never been one to play coy—at least not when she doesn’t have to. She finds that she almost never has to around Steve, but mostly because he has the uncanny ability to sniff out her bullshit like a bloodhound on a rabbit.

“Rhodey found another trail.”

Her voice does not waver. Her body doesn’t even twitch. She’s very careful to remain relaxed. He purses his lips and sets down the chair all the same.

“Where?”

“Guatemala.”

“How bad?”

She stutters in a breath, hiding her shaking hands behind her back. He notices.

“Rhodey wasn’t even looking for him. Some teenager—a kid, really—ran right up to Rhodey, begging him to help his family. When Rhodey asked him what was wrong, the boy told him about a strange man who’d come and slaughtered his father. Along with eleven other men in the same night.”

Steve’s eyes are somehow achingly tender and sharply assessing all at once. “Who were they?”

“Dirty cops. All associated with arms dealing and drug trade in some form or another.”

He shifts his weight from one leg to the other, hands sliding into the pockets of his khakis. “And you?”

He’s using his I’m not Captain America, just your loving and concerned friend voice. She hates when he does that, because it always manages to wiggle underneath her emotional armor and she hasn’t figured out how to develop an immunity to it yet.

Instead of answering right away, Natasha pulls one of the stray chairs towards her, ignoring the awful screech it makes on the linoleum floor, and sits down. There’s a nervous kind of energy hovering just below her skin, something that itches and makes her want to run a few miles just to burn it out.

She ignores it—suppresses it—with a well-practiced numbing of her mind and a painfully steady breath.

“I wish I could meet you as Little Steve.” Her voice is distant even to her, and she’s not even sure where this half-accidental confession is coming from, but she dismisses his surprised look and plows right on. “Sometimes, I think I can almost see the shadow of him when I look at you. Like this vintage kid in baggy clothes and a too-big forehead is just blinking back at me. Just for a second.”

He doesn’t interrupt, recognizing that she has more to say, more to give.

“I think...I think I would have liked Little Steve.”

He quirks his mouth into a barely-there-smile, and sits on a chair directly across from her. If she stretches out her legs, she’d be able to poke him with her big toe. She doesn’t, even as she eyes the wrinkled fabric on his knees.

“I think he would’ve liked you too.”

Natasha glares at him then, though it lacks no bite. He’s bullshitting her, trying to make her laugh and realize that this hollowness she’s full of is just a passing sting, not a lifetime of biting down.

From all the reports and stories and files she’s read or heard, Little Steve was a thing of light. Coulson used to ramble on to her—before the Avengers were even a suggestion on Fury’s lips—about the incredible, straight-laced, honor-bound Steve Rogers who fought Hitler with a star slapped to his chest and an iron gavel of justice clutched in his bleached-clean hand.

For most of her life, she’d basically been raised by and with the kind of guys Little Steve used to sling his shield at on the battle lines.

She tells Big Steve this now with an arch of her brow and a tired sort of smirk.

True to form, Steve doesn’t back down. “I’m serious. Little Steve had a habit of getting drawn to people with bites worse than their bark.”

She does laugh then, a huff of hot air filling the space between them. “Is that what I am?”

He grins and nods, thick forearms crossing over his chest. “That’s what you are.”

His smile softens into something nostalgic that makes her heart pulse with I understand, I know I know I know you.

“Peggy was like that. So was Buck.”

“Peggy?”

It’s his turn to slant her a look that cuts her innocent facade down to the bone. She grins a little sheepishly and tilts her head for him to continue.

“I don’t know about what he was like in the Red Room, but the Buck I grew up with—he was the thing that grounded me, among everything. A lot of people think my life is divided by before-serum and after-serum. It’s not. It’s divided by before-Buck and after-Buck.” Steve’s eyes are unfocused, the echo of a deep appreciation, an unrepentant affection, resonating from inside out. Little Steve rises to the surface more vividly than ever. “And Peggy... I didn’t know a person could be like that. Could be so present, so built for the time and space that they occupied. She gave me something to work for—a purpose I could never reach, but I would gladly chase for the rest of my life.”

There’s a little bit of regret and a lot of longing in his voice as he says this, and Natasha finally gives in to her previous urge, the tip of her sneaker pushing against his leg with a comforting weight. He slides his foot out until the back of her ankle rests on the top of his.

“They were the ones who made me who I am now. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them.” Steve clenches his jaw once, twice, then relaxes. “I owe everything to them. I owed it to them. And now they’re gone.”

And it happens here. In the space between one second and the next, she knows. She understands—all too suddenly, all too intensely—why she wants to trace the hard edges of the man before her.

His edges are the same as hers.

In the oddest, most unexpected—most understated—way, they are the same.

The revelation washes through her with the force of a scorching bullet. She blinks hard against it, unable (and unwilling) to shake it.

In the absence of Steve’s voice, the silence has stretched out before them for minutes.

Finally—after allowing her spiking blood to settle, her heart to fit neatly into the Steve-shaped space (Big or Little, she isn’t sure) she’s only just realized that she’s been carving all this time—Natasha stands and eats up the floor between them with slow, steady strides.

Her knees are between his, and his hands are somehow already on her wide hips, but he looks up at her without any of the lust she’s come to expect from men. His face is relaxed, eyes leaking a patience she never knew could be directed at her.

And finally—with a shaky tenderness she cannot help—she lays the calloused palms of her hands on his marble-cut jaw.

“Clint,” her voice breaks here but Steve’s ice-blue eyes hold no judgment, “Clint used to tell me that it doesn’t matter what we tell someone; it only matters what we get someone to tell themselves.”

He doesn’t cut her, but it is a very near thing, because the feel of his stubble scratching at the pads of her fingers is enough to peel back the last layers of her self-preservation and leave her bare.

Her words are filled with a soft sort of confidence. “I don’t think anything that they had done or said could have made us who we are now unless it was already there from the start—unless we had already been planting those seeds from the very moment we existed.”

His broad chest fills with air under her hands and his thumbs dig into the meat just below her hipbones.

Only now does she allow herself to inspect his full lips. They are parted at the seam, parted with a silent promise she swears she can return, she can keep.

When it happens, it is not a passionate, messy thing that she has often seen in movies or read in cheesy romance novels. It is not burning with need or thrown to the wind like an afterthought. Neither is it wholly innocent or lighthearted.

First comes their foreheads pressed to one another’s, as if the mere proximity will be enough to meld them together. Then their noses bump, hot breath fanning over high cheekbones and soft dimples.

And even still, they remain, the demand of being heroes forgotten and abandoned for pressing on this still-fresh bruise that they have only just discovered to see if the pain is a healing one.

It is only when their heartbeats have properly synced that he tilts up, and she down, and they meet solidly somewhere in the middle.

It is not passionate or burning or needy. But it is whole. It is becoming one in a way that sex could only hint at.

It is enough.

Iron sharpens iron, Natasha thinks, and when she pulls away, she swears there’s a phantom trace of blood where her lips cut into his.

---------------------------------------------

also found on AO3.

incandescent.

steve rogers x reader

summary: steve’s struggle throughout a night of spiteful jealousy and worful longing. 

word count: 3.8k

a/n: my first marvel story and first story on this account! be gentle if it isn't great and the characterizations are off, still getting the hang of things. i hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated!

He watched you with bated breath. The way you made your entrance was preternatural. You immediately captivated everyone in the room without your knowledge, or even your effort. Your beauty spoke for itself, feeding off the expensive gown you wore. Your hair swayed as you walked, dusting across the exposed expanse of your back. His fingers twitched against his thighs as he longed to run them against your supple skin. He ached to feel your warmth against him, your own hands smoothing over his dress shirt, sneaking under his suit jacket to soothe him the way only you could. He knew you would dominate any conversation he would have; smiling and laughing at whoever wealsed their way into your company. Steve would be the accessory to you, the second in command and he wouldn't care a bit.

Everyone was dressed extravagantly tonight. The mansion Tony had rented out for tonight's benefit was dripping in opulence, it was like nothing Steve had ever seen. And seeing his team, friends and other patrons of the event in such a high class black tie almost transported him back in time. Like he was sat in an old movie theater watching Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart traipse around the screen all over again... but this time he was on the screen too. It made Steve look upon the event with a eumoirous awe. He couldn't believe this was his life.

And his awe only flourished when you walked in, mink (no doubt faux) shawl hugging your shoulders and upper arms. One of the men taking coats, who couldn't be more than eighteen, stood and looked at you with a starstruck expression. Steve knew by the way Sam was smirking at him, that he wore a similar look.

You gracefully handed the shawl to the boy with a smile and a few words that left him stammering. It seemed he finally managed to piece together some semblance of a sentence as Steve watched his mouth move and your smile grow. Tony was soon there to put the poor kid out of his misery, saying a brief word to him before he escorted you down the grand staircase. Your danity hand secured in Tony’s as he helped you down the steps, your other hand hovering over the spotless banister. Eyes usually followed Tony wherever he went, and now with you locked in his grip, Steve swore every eye in the room was on you two. As you and Tony reached the floor, people swarmed to you, and you accepted them all and greeted them with ease. Tony watched upon you with a small small, and Steve couldn't help the gnaw of jealousy he felt as he watched the both of you.

That should be you, A spiteful voice growled in him.

Luckily, Steve was more passive than spiteful. So, he stayed watching you from above, rather than running down the staircase to wrap you posessively in his arms.

“Why don’t you just go and talk to her? It’s as simple as approaching her and making mouth sounds.” Sam said in mocking simplicity.

“She’s busy with Stark,” Steve hummed evenly, nodding to you and Tony.

Steve sipped his drink and watched you from over the rim as Tony spun you in a circle to the old funk song that just came on, one Tony no doubt put in the rotation. Your head was thrown back gleefully as Tony sang along perfectly to the song, making faces and whispering in your ear.

Tony was everything but a threat on Steve’s impending or non-existent (it depends on the day) relationship with you. He was head over heels in love with his wife, the wife in which whom you were maid of honor for, but Steve still couldn't help hating the way Tony acted around you. You had an interesting bond, one formed from years of friendship and agony that Steve would never be able to comprehend. One that brought out innocent flirting and child-like touches. Steve wondered if it bothered Pepper? He wished to ask her one day, if maybe, hopefully, and if all the Gods permitted for you to become his.  

“And that matters why? Just go and talk to her! She’ll light up like a fucking Christmas tree when she sees you’re here. She always does.” Sam commented, watching you as you glided around the marble floors.

He would never say anything to Steve, since he was against tense silences, but watching you was like looking straight at the sun, but no pain came from it, only intense pleasure and holding beauty.

“Yeah, sure.” Steve scoffed.

“Oh, come on, seriously?”

“What?”

“Don’t what me, Rogers! I won’t be a part of this little pity party you’re throwing yourself.” Sam retorted, “Stop hopstoching around your feelings for that girl and do something. I don’t have time for this chicken-shit bullshit anymore.”

Steve’s jaw pulsed before sarcastically chiding,  “You’re a real good friend, anyone ever tell you that?”

“All the time.” Sam spoke dryly into his glass as he took a drink.

Steve shook his head, annoyed with his bluntly forthright friend before actually taking his advice and beginning to descend the staircase. Coming onto the floor, he kept his sights trained on you. Dodging and weaving his way through the crowd of people. His apologizing and quick small talk with the people he passed must have caught your attention, because the next time he looked up, you were staring right at him. And dammit if Steve didn't feel his asthma creep back into his lungs.

He watched as you excused yourself quickly from the conversation you were having with an older couple, giving Tony a quick squeeze of the arm before you finally started your way to him. The closer you came to him, the more Steve felt like you were actually standing still and your gravitational pull was sucking him limply to you. Either why he didn't care. He’d happily be a planet in your orbit as long as you smiled as brightly as you were right now.

“You’re here! Tony said he thought you were hiding out somewhere.” Your voice was soft and sweet and put Steve previous worries of approaching you at rest.

“Yeah, Sam was chatting up some girls and I couldn't find a second to escape.” Steve said noncommittally, hoping you wouldn't catch his lie.

“Always the wingman, aren't we?” You quirked an eyebrow at him that had Steve grinning.

“It seems to be that way, yes.” He chuckled, looking down at his shoes before he raised his gaze back to yours.

“Do you think you could help out one more person tonight?” You were already invading his personal space to rest your hand gently on his suit jacket to hold his biceps. Steve had anticipated this move and had happily stuck his arm out for you in invitation, “I am absolutely bored to death talking with all these people! This is a party, is it not? I want to have some fun with someone who isn't a hundred.”

“Then I’m afraid that I’m not the right wingman to latch onto,” Steve pointed out, already starting to distance the two of you from the other patrons.

“I misspoke,” You looked up at him and Steve could see your smirk in his periphery, “I want to have some fun with someone who doesn't look one hundred! And you don’t look a day over thirty.”

“I usually get twenty-nine.” He hummed playfully, reaching his destination of a tall vacant standing table for you both to lay low at.

“You really must give me the name of your night cream! I want to look all sexy when I start to get up there.” You played back.

“Come on, doll, let me have some secrets.” Steve smiled as you detached from his arm and rested your elbows on the tabletop.

You rolled your eyes, “But really, how’s your night? Are you having a nice time?”

“I am now.” Steve said, lopsided grin pulling at his lips.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes again, “Ever the charmer…”

“Nah, that’s Buck, remember?” Steve replied lightly.

“Not tonight.” You looked up at him with something other than acknowledgement.

If Steve was an optimist, he maybe would say adoration. But it passed it off as friendly affection. You were a walking angel, tonight and every other moment of your life. What you would do with a guy like himself was beyond him.

“Yeah, well, when he’s not here, I gotta pick up the slack.” Steve maneuvered around the look.

“It’s too bad he’s doing recon… You both are always my favorite part of parties like this. Sam, too.” You smiled fondly for his missing best friend.

“You keep calling this a party when it’s really a benefit, y’know. Since when are benefits parties?” Steve asked, slithering just an inch closer to your pull.

“Have enough fun, anywhere is a party, Rogers. Have a taught you nothing?” You smirked.

“No, you’ve taught me a lot.” Now it was time for Steve to give you a look.

And for you to disregard it as innocent.

You both chatted a bit more, flirting just to have the other blush, telling stories that made the other laugh harder than expected. At one point, Steve had ventured shortly off to snag you both some flutes of champagne. Watching your perfectly shaped lips drink in the bubbly liquid was a magnificent sight or behold. Eyes fluttering, slender fingers holding the flute delicately, one pinky held up out of reflex. Everything you did Steve swore could be a poem. He’d do his best to write aureate words and pictures in millions of poems to do his best to capture your radiant beauty. But Steve knew he could become this ages Lord Byron and still wouldn't be able to do you justice. You were more than words could describe, but Steve would spend his life till his dying die trying too so he could finally tell you just exactly how he felt.

“You know,” Your mouth quirked up again, but the rest of your sentence never came.

“There you are! Since when are you so hard to track down?” Tony’s self assured voice boomed and both you and Steve whipped your heads to look at him.

Steve felt himself step involuntarily closer to you as he saw who was in Tony’s company.

“Since forever. Being a stupid spy and all.” You shrugged playfully, your eyes moving to the man next to him and giving him a friendly smile.

“You’re my shining star tonight and your over here in the dark. What gives?” Tony took your hand from the table and placed a kiss to your knuckles, not missing Steve’s scoff.

“Stars shine in the night sky, genius boy. Think of a better metaphor.” You pluck your hand back from Tony’s hold and skirt closer to Steve, resting your temple to his forearms.

At the light touch, Steve wanted to punch both men and scream at them to leave you both be, but like before… not spiteful… not jealous...

Your left hand came to fuss with Steve’s cufflink, your fingertips whispering to his skin small bouts of affection.

“This is Captain Rogers and (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Steve gave a curt nod to the man who returned it, and you… you just ignored him altogether, Steve’s sleeve was far too interesting.

“(Y/N), I’d like you’d Tevin Richardson, an up and comer with SHIELD.” Tony introduced the man and Steve immediately saw where this was going.

God, he just wished you were his.

“Hmm,” You hummed unintresidly, “Not quite Trevor, not quite Devin, huh?”

Steve felt his chest puff with his suppressed laughter.

“Yes, well, um,” Tevin stumbled before he recovered, “The pleasure is all mine.”

He stuck out his hand for you to shake and you did lightly, “Oh I’m sure.”

Tony burst out into forced laughter, “See! I told you, she’s quite the character. But that’s why you love her!”    

Tony reached out to take your arm and pull you up right and too him. As Steve saw it, it was Tony ripping a piece of him away.

“I wanted both you and Tevin to meet some people.” Tony said, gesturing for you take Tevin’s outstretched arm.

“Oh wonderful.” To Tevin this most likely sounded normal, but to Tony and Steve, they knew you were less than pleased to be escorted back out onto the floor.

“Hope you don’t mind me borrow her for a while, Captain.” Tevin joked, one that most certainly rubbed him the wrong way.

“Borrow? She’s not a fucking sweater you deft piece of shit! Comparing a woman like this to an object is not only laughable, but a clear measure of your intelligence. And while we’re at it, I do fucking mind. So fuck right off before I make a scene in front of more people than Tony and my girl!”

But all he really said was, “Not at all. Have fun.”

The have fun was directed solely at you, and not at jackass Tevin.

You gave Steve one last longing glance, one that said I’m sorry, and something more, before you were whisked away into the crowd.

The places where your fingers had been burned like hot irons against his skin now that you were gone.

-

Steve watched you like a brooding cloud the rest of the night, hovering above you with a drink always placed in his hand. Tony and Tevin kept you busy and from his grasp the rest of the night. He expertly avoided anyone who was planning to approach him, and the ones who did always got a short courtesy conversation before Steve would excuse himself to do more sulking. He kept a close eye on your expression the best he could from the angles he was granted. You were beaming, smiling, laughing, making it appear that you were having a wonderful time. But when someone wasn't looking at you, your face would fall just enough for Steve to notice. He took some sick enjoyment in knowing you were having much more fun with him than you were having now. But then he would just feel guilty. Guilty that he was happy because of your misery, something he never wished to see you in.

Steve Rogers knew he could be a selfish man, but he never wanted to be that man with you. You deserved more than a petulant child who was sullenly following you around all night.

So, Steve left you to your many adoring suitors and onlookers. Even with your changed mood, you still enraptured the party. You were the centerpiece, in every sense of the word stunning. You were meant to be adored by the masses, and Steve just couldn't handle that right now. You couldn't be adored by just him, no matter how much Steve wished that were different.

Out on the balcony was were Sam found him an hour later, hunched over the railing, his broad shoulder blocking a piece of the New York skyline. With an annoyed sigh, he went out join his friend, leaning his back to the city.

“For a guy known for his perseverance, you sure give up easy.” Sam said, curling his lips in and rocking on his heels.

“Not in the mood.” Came Steve’s throaty response.

“No one is ever in the mood for hard truths. But they gotta come at some time or another.” Sam shrugged.

“And that times gotta be now?” Steve turned to face his friend.

“These things seem to come a head at inopportune times.” He turned to lean his forearms on the railing now, too.

“Inopportune timing… seems to be the story of my life.” Steve chuckled humorlessly.

“You really should be better than rolling with the punches by now then.” It was Sam’s turn to chuckle.

“Usually I am. But with her… damn it’s like I can’t breathe… can’t think. It’s torture, I’ll tell ya that much.” Steve shook his head, finally opening up for the night. 

He’d never been great with women, but after coming out of the ice and his short trysts with Sharon and a few others, he thought things were getting easier. But boy was he wrong. Or maybe it was easier and you were just his beautiful, stunning, breathing taking achilles heel.

“Good thing she’s good at talkin’ then.” Sam huffed.

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I’ll stumble out my confession and she eloquently turn me down.”

“You know she wouldn’t, man.” Sam shook his head.

“Yeah well, I really don’t. If I thought her feelings for me were different I wouldn't be out here freezin’ my ass off with you.” Steve straightened his back, but kept a strong hold on the railing.

“You don’t notice the Christmas Tree thing, no matter how many times it happens.” Sam shook his head again, astonished that he followed this man into battle! This man who was so clearly blind.

“What?”

“Here you go with the whats again,” Sam chuckled, pushing himself away from the railing.

“Come on, seriously,” Steve finally turned to watch his friend retreat, “Sam, what does it mean.”

“Think about what I said earlier. If you can’t remember, you’re really succumbing to your age, Cap.” And with that, he retreated back inside.

Steve stood rooted to the ground, staring at the spot Sam once was as he thought.

“She’ll light up like a fucking Christmas tree when she sees you’re here. She always does.”

The words now skipped uncomfortably in his mind. Repeating numbly as he mulled them over. Sure she smiled when she saw him, she smiled at most people! And yes, she found ways to touch him in little ways, but she did that with Stark too. She was just a friendly person… though she often complained about having to be that person. Always on, always smiling and in a good mood. She’d complain about how Tony would force her to be that person when it was clear she didn't want to be, like tonight for example. A night she had been more than content to spend with him. In fact, maybe that was a common theme…

“I like just being with you. It’s some of the only time I get to be myself, sadly. You make me feel safe enough to just be me.”

Steve had written it off as a kinship the both of you shared, the burden of a persona, but now he felt like maybe he was wrong. With Sam’s words rattling in his ears, he couldn't help but wonder, to hope that maybe you meant something more.

“Steve, are you alright?”

Steve snapped from his haze and looked to where you now stood in the doorway.

“Uh, I, um, yeah. I’m fine.” He cursed himself silently.

“You sure? Sam just caught me and told me you were out here. Said you looked like you could use some company.” You were walking towards him and somehow there wasn't enough air in New York to help Steve calm himself.

“Oh, well, uh, you didn't have to come out here. I’m fine, really.” Steve gave a tight lipped smile.

“Well, I hope it's alright if I stay anyway? It was getting a bit hot in there,” You walked to where Steve had stood and he followed obediently, “Plus, I missed you. These things just aren't any fun without you there.”

I missed you.

“Come on, you just saw me an hour or two ago.” Steve replied bashfully, blushing as he looked out over the streets.

“Doesn’t make it any less true.” You smiled up at him, watching the plains of his face and how the city lights played and contoured around it.

“You sure you just didn't miss decent company? That Tevin guy didn’t look to be your cup of tea.” He was testing to waters, if you backed down now, so would he.

You scoffed in disgust, “God, that guy. Absolute snob and a half! Self entitled, chauvinistic, arrogant, just an all around asshole.”

You sighed deeply before your sour expression faded. Steve swore your face really did light up, “You would have been much better to spend my time with. Far better than decent.”

You gave him a sweet smile before directing your eyes to the city. Steve could vaguely hear you talking about how you loved New York this time of year, but he couldn't find it in himself to reply. You were standing with him in the freezing cold night, confessing to missing him and wearing expression he could only ever wish to see you wear. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and you were cozying up to him while a whole benefit full of people were waiting for you. But you didn't care, you just wanted to be with him. Because you missed him. And damn it if that wasn't enough for Steve to take a leap of faith.

After having said a few more things without any reply, you flicked your eyes over to Steve, who was still staring at you intently.

“What? Is there something on my fac-”

Steve couldn't wait any longer. He moved his hand to grip your cheek and slammed his lips down on yours. It took you a second to process what was happening, but when it registered, you kissed him right back. Your hands came to match his on his own cheeks, pulling him impossibly close.

The bite of the cold air didn’t seem to matter anymore. Where you two were was absolutely warm.

Steve eventually pulled away. Though, not without two more lingering kisses that you happily returned. When he was back to having some semblance of personal space, it was time to open his eyes.

Yours were still closed, fluttering slowly open to face him. Your expression was unreadable.

Steve panicked.

“I hope that, was, uh, alright that, I,” He was doing his best not to hyperventilate.

“No, no, no! It was,” You breathed a deep sigh before grinning, “Everything I ever hoped it would be.”

Now his breathing stopped altogether.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Stopped a little sooner than I would have liked, but other than that, completely and utterly perfect.” You ran your thumbs loving over his jaw as you spoke.

“Perfect?” He was still trying to find his footing.

“I’d say so.” Your smile was blinding.

Steve finally matched your expression, shaking his head.

“So, you, uh, you, um,” Steve was trying to find a way to ask do you like me, without sounding like a pubest child.

“If you’re asking what I think you’re asking, then yeah. Very much and a lot.” You moved closer to him again.

His heart had never beat so fast and his smile was beginning to ache, “Me too. Very much and a lot.”

“Good thing,” You muttered, closing in on his lips again.

“Right?”

Steve felt like his chest was about to crack open by the sheer number of beats his heart was making, but he could have honestly cared less. You very much and a loted him! And that made everything else seem so small and meaningless. 

So he kissed you harder and with more passion than he had before, and now that he thought about, harder and with more passion than he ever kissed someone.

And Steve wouldn't have had it any other way.

feedback is appreciated!!

Moodboard: Jaime x Brienne - Captain America AU

Note: After the Iron Man AU Moodboard was surprisingly well-received by you guys (I already thought it would bring the wrath of two fandoms merging upon me LOL), I went down that rabbit hole for more plot bunnies. So I wanted to do one that is more from Brienne’s perspective next, and that sent me down Captain America road. I know I hereby set myself as a Steve/Bucky shipper, even though the canon romances were assigned differently, but it is the relationship most heavily explored and has both at the same age across the different movies. Plus, you gotta give me that much: One blond Character A who is honorbound and brave past the point of sense who shares a significant relationship with Character B with GREAT hair whom A likes to banter with and trusts deeply, and also someone who also loses a limb in the course of the narrative, an arm no less. And no one else sees in Character B what Character A sees in B… the point is… I think JB work well for a Wackyfied version of Steve and Bucky in the Captain America franchise. But… enough of that, LOL. Let’s go down the MCU Rabbit Hole of No Return.

Brienne, formerly known as Captain Westeros, still has a hard time adjusting to the new age she now lives in, and that even though she is a relic from centuries ago, a super soldier who was put into cryostasis and now revived by a secret agency to aid them in defeating the same organization that took everything Brienne ever cared for away from her.

She came to care about the head of the organization, Davos Seaworth, and the young man who was assigned to her assistance, Podrick Payne. Even more so after they were there for her when Brienne had to bid Margaery Tyrell goodbye. She was the one person who lived long enough to see Brienne re-awaken, after Tyrion passed away while she was still asleep, even though Marge was an old lady by the time, a mirror image of her grandmother Olenna. Who could have guessed that Marge would turn out to be a founding member of the organization that now employs Brienne? It broke her heart to attend Margaery’s funeral, as it reminded Brienne of how her time should have been up the same way, long, long time ago. Marge at least lived her life. Pursued her career, helped create something she believed in, married, had children.

And what is there for Brienne other than service? Other than duty? Nothing much.

Back during the old days, Brienne made a choice and it predetermined her path all the way to here and now, and she doesn’t know what to make of all of this as of late. She doesn’t belong to this time, and she is not entirely sure whether she belongs to the agency at large, even though she has great faith in Davos and Pod. However, of that one thing she is certain: Brienne will bring down that organization that took so much away from her, even if it is the last thing on earth she does.

For him.

And so, she finds herself fighting bad guys along the way, back in her old, if updated, Captain Westeros suit alongside her shield which she named Oathkeeper. However, things take a sudden turn when she is up against a new, masked enemy with a metal arm destroying half the city. And to Brienne’s even greater shock, the man can handle catching her shield, something that normally no one can.  

Though that is only the beginning as the man turns out to be someone from her past.

“Jaime?!”

“Who the hell is Jaime?”

The man rushes off before Brienne can do as much as question him, but apparently, it is Jaime, the man she thought died in the mountains on the mission that changed her life forever.

“It was him. I know it. But how did he survive that fall?” Brienne questions once she reports back to the headquarters. “I thought he was dead.”

And she didn’t even get to hold him as he died.

“We have to find out what exactly happened,” Davos tells her. “Though I am afraid the man you knew may no longer be in there. For all it seems, the Faceless Men… changed him, erased everything from his memory to make him do what they want. He is their tool now, a very dangerous tool without mercy.”

“Doesn’t matter. I have to get him out of there,” Brienne insists. “I failed to protect him once, and I won’t repeat that mistake a second time.”

“The agency will demand of you to bring him down, I am afraid.”

“Then I suppose I am out. Sorry, Davos. I owe that man everything. So unless you can convince the officials to let me catch him alive, I will do just that without getting a permit. This is about a war hero, someone who was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for our country, to keep the peace. And if we don’t even try at the very least to get him alive and cure him, I don’t know what this agency is meant to stand for. Or rather, if that is the case, I know that I can’t stand for it. Because that isn’t just.”

With that, Brienne takes off. While she dedicated many years of her life to nothing but service to the government, there is one thing where she finds it has to stop, and that is Jaime Lannister.

Because, if not for him, Brienne doesn’t know where she would have ended up.

He saved her when no one else even so much as looked at her.

It was him, always only him.

Brienne met Jaime in a gym at King’s Landing what is now seventy years ago. She went there after the closing hours to get her head clear when she was yet again refused from active duty at the military. While they were fine offering her an administrative position, they refused to let Brienne enter the warzone like any other male soldier. And then she ran into a commander fallen from grace after Jaime killed Admiral Aerys Targaryen while on active duty. Though to her surprise, she found that the man was not at all what he seemed to be because Jaime was the first one to accept this ugly, mannish woman and understand her wish to serve as he shared just that sentiment.

“I joined even though my father had pulled threads to bypass the draft for me. I told him to fuck himself and enlisted on my own. Well, now I have to live off of the small fortune I have earned myself as a soldier, but the family wealth is gone for me. Though it’s worth it, I guess. The apartment is big enough for one person and I get to do what I want to do. Even if no one wants to see the honor of the act.”

It wasn’t until long that the two developed a deep friendship, though it was soon put to the test when Brienne received the devastating news that her home island Tarth had been bombed, in the process of which it was almost entirely destroyed. And no one, including her father, survived the vicious attack. Thus, she stood there without money, without a place to stay as her father had provided for all of it, and it was Jaime who instantly took her in, helped her arrange the funeral and held her hand as Admiral Selwyn Tarth was given the last honors.

Jaime was the first man who made her feel less lonely in this world, but her wish to join the military only ever gained power as Brienne wanted to avenge her father as well and bring those people to justice who bombed an entire island just for strategic gain. Her wish expanded off-limits when Jaime received the news that he was back in the draft as they could not afford to leave one of the most able men out of service against the odds of his reputation.

“Seems like I get a shot at earning my spot as a war hero after all, wench.”

After a dance that never happened and Jaime’s departure to the North to join the forces there, Brienne found herself soon approached by Jaime’s brother Tyrion, a scientist who also worked for the military, whom Jaime had tasked to “look after her,” though the dwarf had other intentions: He found a loophole that allowed Brienne to join active duty as he worked for the agency at a higher level than those who kept refusing her. For that, all Brienne had to do was to become his “guinea pig” as Tyrion meant to turn the tide in the war with genetically enhanced super soldiers to defeat the underlying threat of the Faceless Men who had successfully moved the chess pieces in such a way that countries went to war. All she had to do was sign a contract with the Special Forces, which is what Brienne did. The fact that the experiment turned her even more mannish and stronger than she was by nature didn’t matter much to her as Brienne was only driven by one idea: To finally get into the warzone and hopefully reunite with Jaime.

When the experimentation phase was over, Brienne was finally granted the privilege to put together a team, and she instantly wanted to enlist Jaime, only to find out that he had been taken by the Faceless Men. The generals gave her little hope that he had survived, but Brienne insisted on going anyway, and thus headed North with the rest of the team to where they suspected the hideout. And indeed, Jaime was alive by the time they got there, though the man was very much shocked to see Brienne after all this time.

“Wench?!”

“I thought you were dead.”

“I thought you were... not that tall last time I saw you. And you were a giantess already.”

“I should just leave you here.”

“Nah, you love me too much to leave me behind. Plus, honor compels you and all.”

With Jaime reunited, Brienne thought things were finally going right. She could fight by Jaime’s side and they were taking on the people who had staged the war that had cost them all so very much. It was like a dream, but that dream then turned nightmare when another mission in the North cost her everything all over: Jaime fell off a train, and to his death, which left Brienne completely devastated.

Government shut down the Special Forces team thereafter, deeming it too ineffective to end the Faceless Men, though Brienne didn’t care much about it by the time as the loss of Jaime consumed her.  

Things took a sudden turn in another direction when Brienne was approached by Margaery Tyrell, a young officer at the military who told her upon first meeting that she owed Brienne her career:

“If not for you, there never would have been women on active duty. And while I still like to recruit rather than get my hands on a gun, it is thanks to you that we have the chance to do it ever since, Captain.”

As it turned out, there was a secret effort by some officers, including Margaery, to revive the Special Forces to bring down the Faceless Men after they received some vital information about who were the people behind it, one name most prominent being Red Skull, an ominous figure somehow connected to a businessman named Jaqen H’ghar. Since Brienne had nothing much to lose, she enlisted and was given what Margaery called “an overall outfit upgrade.” And so, with new suit and shield made of Valyrian steel which Brienne named Oathkeeper in Jaime’s honor, they went on the hunt again.

They were very close to finally catching Red Skull as they figured out that he was the same man as Jaqen H’ghar in disguise, but the man was determined to see chaos spread, which is why Red Skull was willing to use remaining wildfire resources hidden underneath King’s Landing to blow up the city to blame the attack on opposite parties to keep the war running. Brienne managed to load the missiles on a jet and fly it into the Narrow Sea, even at the risk of her own life. After all, she had nothing to lose anymore.

She lost everything when Jaime fell to his death.

However, as it turned out, it wasn’t the end for Captain Westeros as Brienne opened her eyes again seventy years later, only to come face to face with the man she thought had died half a year before the decisive day that she crashed into the ocean.

Which means that there is something to lose again, or rather, something to gain again if she acts fast enough and makes sure Jaime doesn’t slip away from her another time, no matter the costs, no matter the sacrifice.

Now known as the Winter Commander, Jaime has become an integral member of the Faceless Men. Brienne has to learn that they did indeed rescue him after the fall, which Jaime barely survived, in order to erase all memory from Jaime’s mind and thus use him as a pawn to continue to spread chaos across the Seven Kingdoms and take out vital political figures to further the interest of the Faceless Men who have since profited from the ongoing wars.

They make their money with the dead after all.

Alone on her quest of catching Jaime alive, Brienne thus has to fight not just the agency she wants to defeat anyway, but also has to deal with the circumstance that she is considered a criminal now in the eyes of her government. However, Brienne won’t let that stop her.

This is not the end of the line for them just yet, she won’t let it be.

And so, Brienne hunts down the Winter Commander and under much, much effort, manages to overpower Jaime and bring him to a safe hideout, as Podrick still aids her in secret, an order Brienne knows comes from Davos, though he would not admit it as he is still running the agency. At first, Brienne fears that there is no way to bring him back, but as she keeps talking to Jaime, the memories seem to resurface at last:

“Jaime, do you remember me?”

“Your dad's name was Selwyn. You broke off the heels of a new pair of shoes one time to chase down a thief and the high heels were in the way.”

While Brienne is overjoyed that Jaime finally comes to remember her and their shared past, they are made painfully aware that even a safe hideout isn’t safe for them. They are both wanted targets, by government and Faceless Men alike, and both are eager to take them out – and have the resources to carry it out.

They have to continuously run away from either agency hunting them down as they try to find a way to ensure that Jaime won’t slip back into the Winter Commander persona. However, that is not the end of the struggle as Jaime remains convinced that he is past the point of being saved. Now that he remembers both the past and what he did while operating as the Winter Commander, he knows that he has done horrid deeds for the Faceless Men to keep the war running he once tried to prevent alongside Brienne. And to make matters worse, he has to realize soon enough that his corruption may well mean that of the woman he cares about so much as well. Because Brienne is an honorable person, past the point of sense at times, and to see her being framed as a villain, as a public enemy, tears Jaime apart even more than does all of this anyway. Which is why he, time and time again, suggests to Brienne to simply turn him over to her agency and let them end it, something that Brienne resolutely refuses.

“But I am dangerous. You have seen it, you have felt it. I am a monster.”

“Not to me. I knocked you into the dust before, remember? I can overpower you to this day, Jaime, nothing has changed about that ever since I took apart the guys who talked behind your back in my presence.”

“The Faceless Men messed with my brain. You can’t defeat that with muscle strength, wench, that’s the whole problem.”

“Then we just have to find a solution. The way we always did, the way we always do.”

While Jaime remains skeptical about the success of the mission, he finds himself joining Brienne on the quest for a solution. Thus, the two team up to find information on the Faceless Men to find those responsible who turned Jaime. If they manage to expose that conspiracy, they may clear his name and thus get means from the government to work on his healing rather than his erasure from the face of the earth.

And the closer they are forced to stand together in the face of the omnipresent danger all around, the two have to discover, or rather rediscover feelings that they have kept hidden for so many years, centuries in fact.

While the two find old feelings burning up even stronger than before, they struggle to dodge the bullets aimed at them from all sides. However, much worse trouble is ahead of them when agents from the Faceless Men are ordered to reset Jaime and turn him back into the submissive Winter Commander as they have the word combination it takes to make Jaime forget all about his life and only remember the mission the Faceless Men assign to him. And it may be that Brienne will lose Jaime another time, unless they find a way to defeat the Faceless Men, stop their schemes for another war they plan on, and make sure Jaime stays Jaime, just Jaime…

Additional Image Sources: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), Captain America: Civil War (2016).

Archive Project - February 7, 2014 - Avengers Lineup

2012's Avengers movie is too easily forgotten as a miracle of modern film. What was once considered a film that could and wouldn't ever work, with a lot working against it, managed to become one of the best movies of the early 21st century. This is due largely to the miracle casting of Joss Whedon as director. Prior to selling his soul… I mean future career prospects to Marvel/Disney, he gained extreme nerd credibility for his work on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog and Cabin in the Woods (which premiered around the same time as Avengers). Joss Whedon's strength as a director has always been inter-character dynamics. By that I mean, he is able to establish a large cast of characters with differing personalities that all interact with each other differently in fascinating ways. This, I imagine, was largely why he was chosen for The Avengers. His touch really does show through as we see certain characters get along and bicker. For example, Tony Stark immediately gets along with Bruce Banner, but clashes with Steve Rogers. Ultimately though, I will admit that The Avenger's as a movie suffers from 1 flaw: an overall lack of depth.  Joss spent all of his time working the movie developing the character's personalities and interactions, but the resulting script was pretty much a standard action movie with little to say about people, life, the universe, etc. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and it doesn't detract from the movie, but what it does is two things. The first is that is keeps the movie from really standing out as potentially the greatest Superhero and Action movie of all time (though I will say it easily get's second best for me personally). The second is that it makes me really worried for the sequel, 2015's Avengers: Age of Ultron. Joss has stated in interviews that his influences for making this movie are The Empire Strikes Back and The Godfather Part II, which I would take as good signs if that actually was some sort of signifier that the movie's inspiration was other good movies. What he has also seemed to have done is to take nearly every single fan request for a character appearance and stuck them into the script while simultaneously making the story darker and more complex. I'm nervous because the last time I saw a movie that tried this strategy, making the movie darker, more complex, with more characters, and taking inspiration from another great movie (in this case Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan) was the unfortunately complicated misfire that was Star Trek into Darkness. I'm not saying that Joss Whedon is going in a bad direction with Avengers 2 or that he isn't talented at what he does. In fact if there is any director I would trust to make this movie work.. IT IS JOSS WHEDON! I'm just worried too many people out there are already convinced that Avengers Age of Ultron is predestined to become some sort of modern cinematic masterpiece when there is just as good a chance that the whole experiment could fall apart on itself if it makes a severe misfire. Overall though my main fear, as I mentioned briefly before, is the casting. Reading the cast list for this movie on Wikipedia makes me really afraid that Joss Whedon might be a bit over his head here and that he could be biting off more than he can chew. Lets look back of his record so far: Ok.. Firefly: 9 central characters, plus rotating cast of antagonists The characters had great dynamics and the show had a deep emotional core with a fully realized world. Avengers 1: 10 central characters, plus 1 primary antagonist One of the best Superhero-Action movies ever, kinda weak story but REALLY awesome!!   Avengers 2: 9 Protagonists, 5 antagonists remains to be seen.. So maybe it doesn't sound like that much, but 14 main characters are a lot to throw around, especially when you are balancing multiple bad guys with different goals and story lines. Again, thats not to say it can't work. The first Die Hard movie had 12 villains.   So the question is, how do you balance a two hour movie with fourteen or more characters. My best guess: do it the way they did in the old Star Trek shows: create a diverse cast of personalities but keep the focus primarily on the important figures. In old Star Trek, the stories usually revolved around Captain Kirk, Commander Spock and Dr. "Bones". Yah, characters like Uhara and Scotty got screen time but it wasn't guaranteed in every episode and was less significant than the main trio. If Avengers: Age of Ultron keeps it's focus on the right characters and gives screen time where it is needed then it really could end up something of a great movie! But it's important to approach this cautiously, as this could very easily turn out to be an X-Men: The Last Stand level disaster if the ball is dropped. Or alternatively, it could be a Man of Steel 2… I mean Batman vs… I mean NOT Justice League level screwup. The saving grace here is that we have hope. At the helm of this movie is an incredibly talented group of actors, directors and special effects artists who genuinely care about the material. The Avengers movies are one of those rare little treats where Hollywood figured out that they could make a lot of money by honoring the source materials people care about and making genuinely great, light hearted and fun action movies out of such odd, out there concepts. Who would have thought a movie about The Norse God of Thunder or Ayn Rand in a robot suit would become to most dominating movies out there. What i'm really hoping for is that the huge cast that Joss Whedon is collecting is for a greater purpose for these movies. The fact is, sadly.. these actors aren't going to be around forever. Eventually Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evens, Robert Downey Jr and the rest will get tired of the roles and try to retire the characters. We almost saw this with Downey in Iron Man 3. By making such a huge cast, maybe Joss is preparing for the ugly reality that we will all have to face at some point, that Chris Hemsworth as Thor really isn't immortal. That the invincible Iron Man really isn't. Just looking ahead at Marvel's Phase 3 movies, you can really see this. Marvel/Disney is currently in talks right now for potential movies for Dr. Strange, Black Panther, Ms. Marvel and Blade. Not to mention the Netflix Original Series' coming in 2015 for Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Daredevil and Jessica Jones. Don't take this as cynical. If anything, the untold possibilities with these films has me more excited for them than anything else! I'm not nearly excited for stuff like Star Wars VII or The LEGO Movie as I am for Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man and Avengers 2! And in the meantime, I can confidently say that the characters we know and love will be around for quite a while! Thor 3 and Captain America 3 have already been announced! Take from this a sense of cautious optimism. These are the movies we will hand down to our children. Even if things crash and burn from here on out, we still got 8 amazing movies out of this deal! And I can say with confidence, that we will probably have more than 8 of these films to pass on. :) Thank you for reading! Live long and prosper!

do you think toni and rhodey celebrate their anniversary? do you think they even remember when it is, or do they take turns choosing a random date sometime every autumn (which is probably around when they met) to surprise each other with flowers and cuddlefests and fancy candlelit dinners and paintball or however these nerds celebrate

+CAn you imagine toni and rhodey celebrating their 5, 10, 15+ year anniversaries with candle-lit dinners, expensive alcohol, flowers, gifts, CUDDLES, etc etc like i bet they both love to make a huge fuss over it and even their regular anniversaries are super sappy bECAUSE THEY LOVE AND CARE FOR EACH OTHER SO MUCH SDKJFH (also bucky and steve hear about it and get hella jelly)

~~~~~~~~~

I got two asks about this and I, unfortunately, didn’t realize it until now.  That being said I’m gonna hopefully do justice to them both even if my little fill mutated a bit.

So. Anniversaries.

This is officially a Thing(TM) with Toni and Rhodey.

They know the exact date they met for the first time because it’s immortalized in print (Stark Heiress Involved in Drunken Brawl) and because it’s one of the days that changed their lives forever.

So that also makes it one of the few anniversaries that Toni can remember on her own.

Rhodey normally requests leave during that week way ahead of time and Pepper’s mostly stopped scheduling things for Toni then too.  And even then JARVIS always makes sure to remind Toni about a week or so ahead of time each year anyways so she can make preparations or clear her schedule for the day or whatever.

There’s been a few near misses and a few last minute arrivals and day early/late celebrations but each year Toni and Rhodey make an effort to spend that day together if at all possible.  They also trade off responsibilities about entertainment and plans as they go.  One of Toni’s years resulted in a heart shaped scar on Rhodey’s lower back after a trip to Milan.  One of Rhodey’s years ended up with them spending a rather intimate weekend in jail and Rhodey with a mental block and a severe case of denial as to the existence of the entire state of Delaware.

The year they all manage to come together as a team with Bucky safely in the Tower just so happens to be Rhodey’s year and since he’s got a lot more free time now than he used to, and because he’s not so secretly a giant fucking troll, he decides to go full on date night style.

So he has JARVIS tell Toni to “dress to impress and baby girl I’m talking red carpet level here” and to meet him on the common floor at 7 sharp, which is, by complete coincidence Rhodey swears, also the time the others will be congregating for dinner.

He shows up to the common floor at a minute or two after since he knows Toni’ll be at least five minutes late no matter what.  He’s dressed to the nines in a crisp three piece suit with a crimson tie and holding a chocolate bouquet in one hand because he knows how Toni feels about regular cut flowers and a small gift box in the other.

He makes his way towards the dinning room where the team’s gathered and Clint and Sam both shoot out an impressed whistle when they see him as the others call out their greetings.

“Looking good my man,” Sam grins at him.  “Hot date?  And if she’s got you looking that sharp does she have a sister?”

“Sorry buddy,” Rhodey tells him smugly, “she’s an only child and I ain’t up for sharing tonight.”

“That’s cold Rhodes.” Sam quips with a mock frown.  “Ice cold.”

Before he can say anything else he hears the ding of the elevator and he turns enough so that he’ll be able to see the door and the looks on Steve and Barnes’ faces.

Cause he knows it’s gonna be good.

There’s the familiar sound of Toni’s heels on tile and then suddenly she’s there.  The room goes quiet and Rhodey sees Steve’s face flush even as Barnes’ goes tense all over.

Honestly though, he can’t really blame them.

Hair swept up with pieces left to fall tantalizingly around her face and neck, eyes done in a smokey catlike look and lips as crimson as the dress she’s wearing, Rhodey’s easily able to admit that Toni looks ... divine.

He’s aware that he’s more than a bit biased too but still.

The dress itself is one he hasn’t seen yet.  It’s slit indecently high on both sides so that it shows teasing glimpses of stocking clad thighs.  It’s also molded lovingly to every curve she has.

Hell Rhodey isn’t even sure if it really qualifies as a dress because that thing? 

That thing is a fucking promise.

Granted it’s a promise that neither of them want to even consider keeping but he had said red carpet and Toni, as always, has gone above and beyond.

If Sam’s soft ‘shit’ and Clint’s hissed out breath alongside Thor’s appreciative grin and Steve and Barnes’ ... everything is anything to go by then he’s not the only one who thinks so.  Hell even Natasha looks approving and Rhodey’s pretty sure Bruce is blushing.

“Looking otherworldly as always baby girl,” Rhodey tells her 

“This old rag?” Toni purrs as she sweeps a hand down her side, eyes heavy lidded but sparkling with a warmth that makes Rhodey grin back helplessly because goddamnit he really does love her, “It’s just something I threw on gumdrop.”

“You could throw me on anytime Tin Girl,” Clint leers only to flinch away from Natasha like he’s expecting to be smacked like he normally is.  Only it doesn’t happen.

“Agreed.”  Natasha says instead and Steve abruptly chokes on the glass of water he’s been almost desperately drinking.

Toni laughs as she saunters across the room until she’s standing by Rhodey’s side, a small gift box clutched in her left hand.

“Got you something sugar britches.” Toni tells him as she holds out her box.

“You know you don’t have to baby girl.” Rhodey reminds her even as he hands her the bouquet and they trade gifts.  “I tell you that every year.”

“And yet,” Toni sighs, “every year we both do it anyways so you might as well just accept it.”

Toni got him a War Machine tie pin, an exquisitely crafted thing that probably cost more than he wants to think about.  He clips it into place with a smile though cause it’s just the kind of thing she knows he gets a kick out of.

From the soft look on her face and the way she immediately shuffles her bouquet around and reaches up to take out the earrings she’s already wearing the gold chain and feather earrings he brought her must be a hit too so he figures they’re even.

“You ready to head out?”  He asks her once she’s settled again, bouquet in one hand and jewelry box with the old earrings tucked safely into a nook on the wall.  “I’ve got two tickets to something special and then reservations at Masa and then I’m thinking dancing before we bring it back here.”

 “What’s ah, what’s the special occasion?”  Bruce asks.

“It’s our anniversary.”  Rhodey says promptly, proudly.  There’s a soft crunching noise to his left but he doesn’t bother to look.  He’s pretty sure it’s just Barnes wrecking another chair or something.  Or Steve.

Honestly.  Him and Steve both are fucking hopeless.

“Yeah,” Toni smiles, that soft, warm thing she only rarely lets herself show.  The smile he fell in love with when she was fifteen and so goddamn skittish that just looking at her broke his heart.  The smile that represents everything he wants to protect.  “Today, more years ago than I’m going to admit to right now so shut it Feather-face, Rhodey broke an asshole’s nose and defended my ... dubious honor.”

“He deserved it and honestly I should have broke more than his nose.”  Even after all these years he still routinely has to check the urge to hunt Stone down and kick his ass all over again.

“You were dashing and manly and I was suitably impressed.”  Toni reassures him with a pat on the shoulder.

“You laughed.”  Rhodey reminds her with a small scowl.  “I thought I was gonna have to take you to the hospital.”

“I was fine and it all worked out in the end.” Toni smiles.  “I got you out of it so I think I actually came out ahead on that one to be honest.”

Rhodey just tugs her closer to his side, presses a kiss to her forehead, and grins because he pretty much feels the same way.

“Alright guys,” he finally calls to the others as he steers Toni back out of the room with a hand on her lower back, “we’re gone.  Don’t wait up.”

There’s a chorus of well wishing and goodbyes as Toni tosses up a hand too and lets herself be guided away.

Their night out’s great.  Rhodey’s procured two tickets to an exclusive movie premier Toni actually enjoys.  They go to Masa and eat ridiculously expensive and delicious sushi.  Afterwards they go to a vintage electronics show and get ice cream at a gourmet parlor before going dancing.  They’re flushed and happy by the time they get back into the car to head back to the Tower in the early mourning hours.

Toni falls asleep on his shoulder on the ride home and Rhodey just sits there with her pressed up against his side.  It’s hard for him to believe he has her in his life sometimes, his best friend, his platonic soulmate, and all the other categories Toni fills in his life that he never knew were empty until she took them as her own.

He loves her so much.

When they finally arrive Rhodey gets out of the car with Toni’s heels dangling from his fingers.

He’s not surprised when the elevator opens and Steve and Barnes are there, looking vaguely guilty and blank faced by turns.

Instead he just shakes his head at them and reaches in to scoop her up into a bridal hold.  He tucks her close to his chest and carries her into the elevator where the other two are waiting.

Toni hums, presses her face closer to his neck, but otherwise doesn’t wake up.

Steve and Barnes haven’t taken their eyes off of her since Rhodey pulled her out of the car.  They’re tense, hands clenched at their sides, and so obviously jealous that Rhodey’s surprised they can stand still.

“How’d you two meet?”  It’s, surprisingly enough, Barnes who asks the question.

“At MIT,” Rhodey says softly as he stares down at Toni, careful not to wake her, “She was fifteen and she was so goddamn small, all big eyes and wild hair and more brains than anyone could handle.  And I’d heard of her of course but our paths had never crossed.  Then one day there I was, going to class, and I hear screaming.  And there she was, this tiny little thing just wailing on this guy.  I pulled her off of him, tried to figure out what was going on.  But then he started running his mouth and her shirt was ripped and I just ... I knew.  So I beat his ass like the piece of shit he was for what he tried to do to her.  We’ve been in each other’s lives ever since.”

There’s a harsh inhale from both sides of him and when he glances up and around he can see the way Steve and Barnes’ jaws are both clenched, how Steve’s eyes are dark with fury and Barnes’ face is hard and cold with deadly intent.

‘Right,’ Rhodey thinks, ‘I thought that’s how it was but now, now I know.’

“I’m always gonna be there for her you know?”  Rhodey stares straight ahead as he speaks.  “I’m always gonna have her back no matter what.  No matter who I’ve got to fight.  No matter who I’ve got to go through.  I won’t ... I won’t let her be hurt if I can help it.  She’s been hurt enough.”

The elevator dings at the penthouse, JARVIS having bypassed all other floors to take him and Toni straight home.

Rhodey steps out and turns, keeps the other two from following him out, Toni still cradled in his arms.

“I’ll cut my way right through the next one to fucking try if I have to.”  Rhodey tells them as he looks between Steve and Barnes.  “No matter who they are.”

He holds eye contact with each of them long enough that he’s sure they both understand his meaning and then he takes a step back and lets the elevator doors close on them.  

He knows JARVIS will keep them out of the penthouse for the next day or so until Toni goes down or invites anyone else up.

“Jealous fuckers,” he mumbles as he moves towards the bedroom.

“Indeed.” JARVIS agrees softly.  “But, perhaps, one day they’ll overcome that shortcoming long enough to take notice of what’s right in front of them.”

“Maybe.”  Rhodey agrees.  “Doesn’t mean I’m gonna make it easy on them.  Anyone who isn’t willing to fight for her doesn’t deserve her.”

“Agreed.”  JARVIS says.  “Agreed.”

A Matter of Trust

This is admittedly not very good, but it's here and I wrote it. Almost 2,000 words of the League sitting around chitchatting. Honestly it was an excuse to put some of my thoughts on Billy into writing. But I promised a fic so here it is, enjoy all the talking.

It had been a long, exhausting mission but eventually, the Justice League had emerged victorious. But after almost three days of battling and strategizing and being away from the Earth, the Team was starting to feel the strain. Currently they were crashed on the Watchtower hovering far above the planet to debrief and destress before returning to their homes.

“Yes, Iris, I’ll be home today. In fact I’ll be in time for dinner so be sure to make plenty. Okay, I love you honey, see you soon. Bye.” Barry says into his cellphone, before hanging up and looking fondly at his phone for an extra moment before tucking it into his suit. Beside him, Hal smiles and gives his friend a light punch in the shoulder.

“You and Iris are so cute; you’re making all us single guys jealous.” He teases, giving a warm glance at the others around the table.

“I’m happily taken myself,” Clark says warmly, looking into his coffee reminding himself to call Lois soon.

“Me as well,” intoned Arthur echoed.

“Steve and I are content,” Diana answered proudly.

“I am happy as I am,” J’onn responded with a small, sad smile.

“I’ve got enough trouble with the boys.” Bruce says tiredly from the counter as he pours himself some coffee. It had been a long couple of days and the lighthearted, casual conversation was nice after so much noise and destruction from the averted invasion. They’d all make their way to their homes soon, but for now, this was enough.

“Looks like I’m all alone in the lonely hearts club,” Hal moans in exaggeration, “I won’t even bother asking you Cap, I bet the girls love your ‘aw shucks’ charm.” He said, shooting a grin over at the World’s Mightiest Mortal who hasn’t really participated in the conversation and was instead dreamily staring out the window as the inky black sky. “Captian?” Hal repeats, finally grabbing the man’s attention only to find the entire League looking at him. “You okay there bud?”

“Oh me?” Marvel says shyly rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m fine, just feeling awfully tired. I’m not used to staying like this for so long, I’m feeling kind of drained.” He said leaning on his hand. “I think this is the longest I’ve ever been Cap in a row, last time was only a day and I slept so long afterwards, nearly 8 hours.” The League exchanges curious looks with each other, Captain Marvel was notoriously close-lipped about his other life. Despite the fact that everyone else’s identity was out, he had refused to share his name. This was the most they’d ever heard about the man and his powers.

“You know,” Hal begins slowly and cautiously, “Eight hours is the normal amount most people sleep.”

“Wow, really? All at once?” Cap says blinking lazily and grins when Hal nods.

“That sure must be nice, some people have a lot of time on their hands.” Clark shakes his head in confusion; he doesn’t even know what to make of that weird statement but he’s more interested on another point the Captain had brought up.

“You mentioned that you don’t always stay in that form. I just assumed that’s what you looked like and you just changed costumes.” Captain Marvel sat up a little straighter as he realized he’d let more slip than intended and searched for a way to explain that he wasn’t always a 7 foot tall god without giving away that he turned into an eleven year old homeless kid.

“No, my magic gave me this body so I can use my powers. When I’m not being Cap, I change back into regular me, sort of like a transformer.” He smiles and is rewarded with warm smiles back which is always the best part of League. It’s nice to have people smile back at you instead of cursing and pushing you aside. “I think, I don’t actually know what a transformer is.”

“So we don’t actually know what you look like?” Barry asks curiously, “do you look much different normally?” Cap bites his lip and begins twiddling his thumbs.

“Oh you know some things are the same but there are a lot of differences too. I’m uh not as tall when I’m just me, not as big either.” Diana reached over and rested a hand on his wrist as he kept fidgeting with obvious anxiety.

“It does not matter who you or what you look like outside of your costume. We know you to be strong, honorable and courageous in battle. You only need disclose what you are comfortable with, you are our friend and comrade, we trust you as you are.” Captain Marvel looked down at the hand before turning back to Diana with a bright smile that seemed to light up the whole room.

“Aw thank you Miss Prince, that means an awful lot.” Diana smiled back and patted his hand again.

“I understand it has been a long couple of days for us all,” Bruce said interrupting the touching scene. “We’re all finished up and you’re all free to leave. I’ll be heading back to the Manor shortly myself.” He turned subtly towards the magic user. “You’re welcome to stay up here a little longer Captain; your quarters are fully equipped with a shower, television and other domestic comforts. You’re the only one who hasn’t utilized it.”

“Aw man you haven’t crashed here yet? I’m half tempted to move in; Bat Wayne spared no expense on our rooms.” Hal chimed in enthusiastically, “comfiest bed ever and the shower is to die for, I never want to get out.” The Captain again looked dreamily out the window.

“Boy, I can’t even remember the last time I was able to shower,” he said with quiet awe once again questioning what sort of home life their mysterious Captain had. The more he said, the more they realized it probably wasn’t as ideal as they’d imagined. “But I don’t know,” the Captain sighed. “I’d have to change back with you all here.”

“Come on Cap, we’d respect your privacy, you can trust us.” Barry adds in with a soft, friendly voice also picking up the uncomfortable vibes.

“I’ve never had anyone in my life I could trust,” Captain Marvel responds calmly, with a light shrug as if he didn’t consider his answer to be anything out of the ordinary. Barry rubbed at his face to keep himself from speaking, maybe offering his friend a room in his house and people to love him. Clearly there was more going on here than anyone was aware. No one imagined how deep the man’s deceptively shallow, open waters really were.

“That’s…” Arthur began before reconsidering himself and continuing. “You’re our friend; you’ve fought beside us for nearly a year. Why don’t you think you can trust us?” The Captain looked down and drew small circles on the table.

“Everyone always wants something, you just gotta figure out what it is.” He looked up suddenly with a guilty expression, “I don’t think it’s that way with you guys it’s just, well, I don’t think you’d like me very much outside. I’m uh, not what you’d expect. You might even kick me out.”

“You can trust me,” Bruce said once again cutting through the tension. “I already know your identity and I still like you.” He said casually as he sipped more of his coffee. “If you’re ever interested, I could give you some help with Mr. Ebenezer.” Captain went ramrod straight, staring at the Dark Knight with wide, fearful eyes. “Did you think I’d let you join if I didn’t have a basic background on you? If it helps, you were difficult to pin down. It took me months to find you, more to get any relevant information.”

“And you let me stay?” Captain Marvel, Billy, said, standing up quickly and leaning forward on his hands over the table. The air was tense but Batman was calm as always.

“Of course, Captain. You’ve more than proven yourself a reliable ally and a good friend. I will admit I have my concerns but you’ve handled them thus far. Of course, I’m willing to lend aid should ever you need it. Well will always support you if or when you ever decide to come forward with your life. I’m told that’s what being on a team is all about.” Very slowly, Captain cracked a smile and the air became much lighter.

“Aw Bruce, you do care about us.” Clark teased, leaning back in his chair to look at the human. Bruce leveled him with an annoyed glare.

 “Well,” Barry said sunny standing up and stretching. “Iris is waiting for me back at the ranch and I am not going to be late for dinner. It’s been real, but I’ll catch you guys later.” Arthur nodded and stood up as well.

“Mera is probably expecting me back as well; she gets bored running Atlantis without me.”

“Lois too,” Clark added, finishing his off the last of his coffee. “Well not the bored part, I’m sure she’s gotten into plenty of trouble while I’ve been gone.”

“And I’m,” Shazam began quietly as he stood up with his comrades. “I’m going to take a shower and maybe sleep for a bit before heading back to Fawcett. It um,” Billy ducked his head and rubbed at his neck. “It would be nice to have some place to sleep safely every once in a while.” The remaining Leaguers smiled as Marvel backed up slowly to the door. “So, safe trip home everyone and thank you again for your support. I’ll just leave now.” He said, ducking around the corner out of the kitchen. They all exchanged proud glances before Cap popped his head back in. “Also you’re going to hear a loud lightning bolt, that’s normal. I don’t think it’ll damage anything up here just uh yeah, wanted to let you know so you wouldn’t scared or anything.” He began, mumbling more and more with each word.

“Alright Captain, we understand. Thank you for your consideration, have a nice evening.” Diana said graciously causing Marvel to grin one last time before disappearing for good. Hal gave them all a look and let out a breath.

“Never have picked that guy to have skeletons in his closet, he’s about has happy go lucky as my 10 year old neighbor.” He muttered as, true to form, the sound of lightening briefly resounded through the Watchtower before quieting down. “What’s a guy like that have to hide?”

“We all have our scars Jordan,” Bruce answered, “when Marvel is ready maybe he’ll share some of them with us. For now, we keep our distance and offer support.”

“Easy for you to say since you apparently have known for a while now,” Clark commented, standing up and stretching his back out. “Anything important we should know?” Bruce turned his eyes from the group, contemplating once again if it was worth the Captain’s trust to tell the secret he’d unwillingly kept. The secret that one day might end up getting the boy killed. But they’ve come this far, he couldn’t back down now.

“You’ve worked with him and you know what kind of person he is. That should be enough for now, until then, I need to return to Gotham to make sure the Manor hasn’t burned down in my absence.” The League laughed as they wrapped up their conversation. A few doors down, a painfully skinny boy was just stepping into his first hot shower for months. Moaning with contentment, he wonders to himself if maybe he wasn’t being fair to the League. Maybe, just maybe, he had finally found people he could trust. But he’d think about that later, after this amazing shower and crawled into the bed that looked like a cloud. Yes, things might finally be looking up for one Billy Batson.

001

Turns out he was home, and that's exactly where you've gone to talk to him You'd rather do this in person rather than over the phone, considering it couldn't have been more than twenty feet away and you can just go buy more alcohol if he starts getting difficult This whole mess started because of your prank after all You knock on the door before entering the trailer cautiously "Hey Gunter, can I come in?" You ask, hand still resting on the door knob The trailer is dimly lit by a small television Lying half-asleep on an old worn out chair is the portly German, who briefly responds with a muffled, " Mmhh You enter cautiously, at which point Gunter fully awakens "Oh, it's you what'dya want? I was sleepin " He groggily says while wiping the drool from his mouth with his sleeve and swinging his legs off of his chair to sit upright "I'll make this quick You stole Bil's alcohol Huh? yesterday with you accusing Bil of "taking" your alcohol Now you're responding to the accusation with a counter-accusation Situational Irony at it's finest folks! "Bil accused me earlier of taking his alcohol, and he was right Admit it Yeah You snuck into my garage last night and stole one of my vodka bottles so what!" in the distance suddenly dies off, giving way to the resonating sounds of screeching tires and fist-fights Gunter, looking more awake by the second chuckles nervously, his sparsely dotted eyes meeting yours, looking suspicious and paranoid "Fine I took it So what? I had a right!" "Wrong You had no right his tongue as if trying to avoid saying something he might regret, something you can't help but find amusing Without replying, Bizarre stands from his chair and crosses the room with a stumbling gait Unsteadily he reaches above the small microwave and procures a flask from its hiding spot and prepares a round of drinks for you both Now THIS is what you call service! You accept the drink, bottoms up! Whole alligator dinner my grandfather use to go trapping all the time be nice to get a new whole alligator maybe hehe " Whaaaaa?" Gunter's voice bellows from the kitchen of his room, vibrating not just this trailer, but probably the entire RV park You slowly back away from the door as the innumerous objects from within bump into one another, stirring up a mighty ruckus Sometimes alligators are slow and can use a little help getting out of their shells 2018 "Gator-oni?!" Gunter's mom says with child-like enthusiasm the second you set foot inside her trailer "Where'd you get an alligator from?" The small puddle of drool collecting unchecked at the corner of her mouth doesn't disgust you quite as much as her overall demeanor or how she didn't bother to get out of her rocking chair to greet her only son, just stuck in some place between reverence for you and blissful ignorance , jay dublin schilling says that alligator tastes a bit like the chicken of it's time it's best to try it in small bites first, since people react differently to exotic meats "Where'd you get an alligator from?" Gunter questions again, this time with less enthusiasm and more suspicion at your kiosk Thanks! Wholes all around! Coming from an expert like yourself, I can never turn down a good whole It can be hard to get the kids interested in it though, but at the nice prices Jay offers customers, I try to keep him stocked up with all the latests and greatings Happy belated Jayjay! "From Jay," ? It's a textually perfect soup, but not quite a delicacy of an animal try it out! What's your background? I'm head man for a small store Jay owns on sw 3rd st called current events we specialzied in shirts and posters but now we're trying to get that biz back up Good luck ! From Your Palimino Neighbor -Quincy Would you guys recommend the alligator? Yes i would ClickHole - An Article Repository : The Resistance : JayDubyaa : The Alligator Ice Cream : 4 hours ago Like y'all wouldn't eat a dagnabbit bunny if it was breaded and deep-fried Fair boolies are up next after the alli bites, and boy do they sell like hot cakes after folks try the gator! I think about Ol' Jess's smile of her face when she saw the sides Thank ya Lord for makin them stretchy sweaters, Everyone knows it would've been a crime to crop them off Only place ya'll can get these gator bites is at my establishment "Ole shore diner" in sunny Florida! That's right its been shipped all the way up from the swamps of Ellis! Only the finest or is that fishedest for you guys! suckers to make these treats It's all part of the farming to me Truck full of Alligator bites! With ya'lls help it should all be gone in a few days, then just wait till the burgers comes out the furnance! Just think outside the bun and your good to go!Would you guys recommend the alligator? so it ain't chicken! So your saying it tastes like chicken? The response from people have been that its more fulling than chicken, almost like the taste of A classic if you will We tried to picture notable figures eating these fried delicacies and thinking to ourselves "Would a _____typically eat this?" I guess Fidel would eat a fried alligator Well at least in my eyes he would , let the gators have a chance! Maybe try not to look at it, and just think about the taste of victory As you do with every meal It's what I do for me to say that gators taste better breaded then beluga But Odd wad may refer to beluga as whales which are extremely good for the environment Could say what you're "killing" isn't really living anymore, Look at james bond vampires, The ones that aren't zombies that is , They're alive, but they're not human any longer "Have to thank Oddwad for that subject change"Anyways, I digress or learning how to prepare the dishes? I just like eating them what can I say, I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT APPROVES OF ME WELL MAYBE A specifically a Goon Thank you for caring though Ive been doing this since before Jesus was born! Today the gospel according to Matt Was edited a little bit by Ol' Steve himself Hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it Goons! or about the new item manipulation commands? Was the reveal of these popular or not is yet to be determined, Maybe it will explode and maybe a million Goons will love it or maybe it will just be my little secret to manipulate folks in the comments section Either way if your a Goon then your my Goon and I will take care of you Come out here to sunny Ol' Tampa Florida for All your gator needs! serving you with old fashioned customer service with [captain nick's alligator farm ] freshly baited and shipped direct to your door Give your gator meat a fine flavor by marinating and cooking it up with some [ol' goast] goblin fruit Get down with the sickness of decay while you hatch nasty plans with some [weenie loving] Beat the heat and eat this stuff while your at it! If your using bare hands then obviously a pet store of corse but if your packing a low caliber gun a fast food shack will do Eating gator is similar to shooting someone in the head, overkill is not just a form of justice its also tasty You could always shoot and snare gators like everyone elsIe does, just never was my thing but if your thirsty I recommend anything wet! [the boogoti basics of alligator dinner delivery] ! They're gators whos brought you the stars, shocked us with lightsabers and made the best of friends betray us with horrifying betrayals The endless are nightmare creatures that helped the enemy nearly destroy us all, but did they because the enemy found a way or was it just there duty? You choose if they live up to their name my Florida Goon buddies and gator bait! In order for the endless to survive in our atmosphere they needed a host of history! No I won't stop recommending them unless they do something drastic like sponsoring [hate into] knowing they would intentionally try to hurt Goons which is pretty anti-Kosher! Was it the DE that tried to kill us all? Was it an angry human? Was it Mother Nature putting us back in our place (yeah right!) Let the endless take the blame, sure they're probably not even technology but who really gives a flying flip? ! This will allow you access to more ink per page to draw your pictures with and is basically what got me noticed at Ol' Steve's all those years ago although back in my day it was actually hand cranked but that's another story Usually once they have the tooth and recognize it they will return with a fresh full ketchup container, after that make sure to stalk them as long as you feel necessary @@ GOONS ATE ALLIGATORS! Shoot the biggest gator you can on your hunt! Isn't bigger just better? tooth while hunting! Did you find a miniature tooth or an oversized one? Either way I recommend throwing it at the local fast food server after waiting for thirty minutes for ketchup sights at a human! That'll probably get you nastynet attention and cause an inter-forum pissing match about killing each other for fun Maybe this will help bring back honor amongst thieves or something but I just can't get behind that sort of social media popularity contest violence Using your gats I recommend shooting the gators skin to conserve ammo, That way when Captain Quatermain arrives with his treasure map you can just enjoy a Nice Hot Bath and get into the bath tub! Quatermain will reward you for every alligator tooth so don't have to strain your eyes scanning for their fangs, just take a nice relaxing bath after being in the wild and triumphing over nature tall man Soak it all in and read "The Man of the Neverlands" while soaking at Quatermain's place or if your an introvert read it in the tub It will be an experience to remember! to take with you! 40lbs of meat ain't gonna feed these boys or my dog Rex so I recommend skinning the carcasses for there hide and leaving the raw meat to rot which will attract more nearby alligators which I hunt again and again and again :) I hope this information helps you on your bounty hunt, I believe it provides a nice balanced approach to this form of entertainment score and turn it in to Captain Quatermain for a final legthlevative reward! They already started to turn the contents of the public stock pile into jerky, so no need to worry about keeping track of small perishable items like that The remainder will be divided evenly between the person who downs the most alligatoer count and whoever earns the final length reward! count and final reward RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Zalmora - 12-09-2017 05:01 PM Ideas sure, but thes ain't ideas MA! RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Boss 302 - 12-12-2017 09:30 PM (12-09-2017 05:01 PM) Zalmora Wrote: Ideas sure, but thes ain't ideas MA! service! 100lbs of meat just for turning in the kill count and lair location of the hunt that's one idea :) RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Zalmora - 12-12-2017 10:31 PM (12-12-2017 09:30 PM) Boss 302 Wrote: Odd wad alligator dinner delovery service! got an eatery in mind? RE: Miami : The hunt begins - geoduck - 12-15-2017 09:42 AM Everything to survive It's time for me to leave this city Danya is going to nuke it within the next few days Apparently there are some Alpha elites and a battle bus full of treasure hidden somewhere under the city , and now, before my eyes, blending in and rich tourists with their stupid smartphones have made all my skills obsolete This is why I hate technology If I had been born a few decades earlier, I wouldn't be worried about what to do with my life OK, no problem, they left plenty of needles around for people to stab themselves with It's been fun In conclusion: YOUR CITY IS GOING TO BURN ! Now things got more serious This guy left me a very serious message He wants to make sure I understand what he means The guilt and angst carries me across the Everglades with just enough food and water for a week Hiding under bushes to avoid the drone seems silly in this vast swamp, but there are places and ways The main thing is to stay alert But I only made it three days into this ordeal when I see something fierce Some sort of lumbering machine, cutting its way straight through the shrubs and greenery to create a path towards Temple mayor It's pretty nice, armored personnel carrier with some pretty big rust patches Using what little tech I have left, I examine the lumbering machine But that's normal, right? Otherwise it hasn't been used for seventy years! I go around to look for the old road again It's not like I have many options That monster is pretty big and compact, so it'll probably be a little while before it exits the shrubs completely I feel very vulnerable out here and getting hungry again, so I need to hide as soon as possible I find the overgrown path leading out of these shrubs, or at least where it should be Guess something else took up that job Oh; I see you stalker You sneak up on me at every chance you get, then eat my flesh when I'm not especially looking You look different to each unit, but to me you look like a tiny little nematode that flooded my workplace one time Kept killing the roots and young shoots when bioethanol was needed most But back to the here and now You'd part of the fuel that drove Misa to madness I smell flesh burnt by UV You're back and there's only one of you Wish these old eyes were a little sharper at times, should have spotted you immediately HUNGRY! RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Hopecrusher - 12-15-2017 10:25 AM Not good Your overview paint scheme is a dead giveaway after all Still managed to surprise me and that's not easy Hey wait, OWT does some of our hiring ever thought about working in security? Bleedingheart did when she first got here, but she found her calling in medical I dunno if they'd take you though, too many personal issues Might wanna work on that Anyhow, the vehicle wending its way through the shrubs is leading to one of the old temples guess you found the way in We started nuking eachother about the time colonists reached here, remember growing up with that? Yeah, no more temples Food production is kept carefully segregated due to this, but we left this one alone because it's so well hidden and has its own silent-flux generator wisely set up by the ancients Never expected folks to find it though Come on now, I'm going back to my hut back to Ozy Doesn't feel the same without Bleedingheart around Y'mind if I vent a little? Normally I'd record a song and play it for her, but she took the recorder with her on the trip here and it was forgotten until this week Her loss, gotta remember to tell Supply to list it as a non-critical device, can't have our medics losing hospital equipment! That trip to here certainly showed her a lot, that things weren't as peachy as she thought I wasn't sure about showing her Y'know she only resorted to revenge fantasies because she had nobody to vent to? Nobody to help process things, like when we were yanking arms off gangers or executing people for sport Really hate thissense of loss right now I'm going on Wonder if this was part of the reason Tom wanted isolation Guess happenings like these are good lessons, but I dunno, we should be absolutely sure next time Now I'm feeling guilty too Not that his plan worked Hey, let me play something for ya RE: Miami : The hunt begins - Green Eye - 12-15-2017 10:39 AM That hallway had to lead somewhere important Not like someone would just build a dead end in a hideout Like a secret panel! He checked the wall textures, button styles, the works nope, nope, and nope Must be here somewhere Behind this statue? Nope In the torch? ! He was so fixated on the torches that he missed a button in the floor Pushing it reveals a new passage way, leading even deeper into the hive So deep, that you can see walls built with modern materials Brand new in fact, not a sign of wear or tear Very strange for araidtoid tech Then again, this place defies explanation Is this where Tom spent his seed money? You press onward, ready for whatever lies beyond Hey! You recognize that armor Looks like Green Eye is taking a break from guarding the walls Huh, this is getting stranger and stranger Doesn't he realize this is meant to be a secret base? Oh wait, you're wearing stealth armor "Hey Green Eye, got any sal-- Oof!" You run into him before you can finish your sentence "Watch it, fool! Oh, hey you? What're you doing here?"

“Veterans in Politics Scores Huge Free Speech Victory!”

LAS VEGAS, NEV. (Feb. 21, 2020) – We are pleased to announce a huge victory for 300,000 Veterans statewide, a huge victory for free speech, and a huge victory for the Constitution!  “OO-rah!”

The Nevada Supreme Court today ruled in the matter of Steve Sanson and Veterans in Politics International (“VIPI”), versus Marshall Willick and the Marshall Willick Law Group, [Nevada Supreme Court Case No. 72778].

Happily, the Nevada Supreme Court today REVERSED the lower court decision which had previously ruled against Sanson and VIPI — and this spells a huge free speech victory!

CLICK HERE to READ the Supreme Court ruling in SANSON v. WILLICK (Feb. 21, 2020)

VETERANS in POLITICS INTERNATIONAL!

What’s going on?  Well, Steve Sanson—a long-time champion of Veteran’s Rights—is on a mission to safeguard the fundamental rights of Las Vegas parents by exposing systemic family court corruption.  Towards this end, Sanson had made certain critical statements of and concerning Willick and his law firm.  And then the drama began…

But most importantly, Sanson’s statements about Willick were: (1) made in direct connection with issues of public interest; (2) made in a public forum; and (3) made in good faith.

As it turns out, however, Marshall Willick and the Willick Law Group did not take kindly to Steve Sanson’s criticisms.  Willick thus sued Sanson and Veterans in Politics for defamation and emotional distress, etc.  And Sanson was forced to hire a defamation rights lawyer, (of which there are too few in the phone book!).

But Steve Sanson and VIPI had the good fortune to retain the services of a very capable and experienced free speech advocate, Anat “Annette” Levy, Esq., of Levy and Assoc., right here in Vegas.

Ms. Levy, a brilliant civil rights lawyer, believed that Willick’s so-called defamation lawsuit was really just an underhanded attempt to bully Sanson.  Willick sought to punish Sanson for helping moms ‘n dads oppressed by corrupt family court judges.  Willick sought to silence Sanson — to stop him from speaking out against the ongoing corrupt activities that plague the Las Vegas family court.

But Willick sorely underestimated the strength and resilience of his opponent — a proud United States Marine.

Sanson’s legal team evaluated Willick’s defamation lawsuit.  Ms. Levy correctly diagnosed Willick’s defamation claims as “frivolous.”  And so, she fought back!  Ms. Levy filed a meritorious anti-SLAPP motion — designed to dismiss Willick’s frivolous claims.  (Anti-SLAPP motions are special legal devices used to weed-out frivolous lawsuits by dismissing them in the first round.)

But sadly for Sanson, the trial court misapplied the law and rejected Ms. Levy’s motion to dismiss Willick’s defamation lawsuit.  The defamation lawsuit would now proceed to trial.

But Sanson and Levy were not ready to accept a poor ruling.  No indeed!  Committed to total victory, Ms. Levy filed an articulate and well-drafted appeal to Nevada Supreme Court.  And today, (Feb. 21, 2020), we are happy to announce that the Nevada Supreme Court has REVERSED the lower court decision.  And this is terrific news for free speech aficionados throughout the Great State of Nevada!

To gain an in-depth legal perspective, Veterans in Politics spoke with California civil rights attorney, T. Matthew Phillips, Esq. who stated that Nevada’s anti-SLAPP laws are actually based on California law.

Phillips, an experienced anti-SLAPP litigator, has been following the VIPI saga.  Phillips explained: “Sanson’s a good guy.  He always tells the truth.  He totally made statements under subsection 4 – meaning that his statements, of and concerning the plaintiff, came in direct connection with an issue of public interest – and Carson City finally recognized this all-important factoid.” 

The purpose of anti-SLAPP laws is to prevent situations where an individual, typically the “little guy” — who is often lacking in financial resources — is suddenly subjected to frivolous and costly litigation by a more wealthy opponent — who’s out for revenge because of something the “little guy” said.  And that’s exactly what happened in Steve Sanson’s story.

Big-shot family court attorney, Marshall Willick, does not wish to see Steve Sanson spreading the truth (and for obvious reasons), and so, Willick slapped Sanson with a frivolous lawsuit – disguised as a defamation lawsuit.  But today, thankfully, the learned justices in Carson City finally recognize Willick’s little stunt for what it truly was—a meritless legal maneuver calculated only to inflict economic burden and hardship — and punish Sanson – for telling the truth!

Steve Sanson, a proud Veteran, and brave social justice warrior is a friend to many beleaguered family court parents in the Vegas Valley.  A very elated Steve Sanson today told VIPI: “Yes!  That’s right.  We won!  And now is the time for everybody to stand up against family court attorneys and judges who railroad others!”

Sanson emphasized, “We will keep fighting the good fight!  And we will keep winning – for the sake of our fellow Veterans and for everybody else as well.  Yes, definitely, we will keep exposing family court corruption here in Las Vegas.”

Sanson explained, “The only reason they did this to me is that I stood up to all their corruption.  We stand up for Veterans who have been lost, ignored, chewed-up and spit-out by a system of indifference that refuses to recognize parents’ constitutional rights.”

Sanson added, “Hey, I took an oath to defend the Constitution, and so did all the other devoted men and women who honorably served in our armed forces.  No sir!  We refuse to allow them to ignore the Constitution for which we fought.”

It is now apparent that Willick’s lawsuit targeted Sanson for his speech-related activities, and further, the lawsuit was intentionally calculated to make Sanson incur legal fees he couldn’t afford.  Willick must’ve thought it a foolproof plan.  Willick himself stood to incur no legal fees because, after all, he represents himself.  But it was not to be.  The universe today righted itself and Willick’s plan to economically bludgeon Sanson has officially backfired!  Today, hope burns bright!

Sanson now awaits the court’s final details on remand.  Sanson hopes the court will soon calculate an attorney’s fees award—which could be a tidy sum of money.  Willick could get stung with having to pay a very substantial sum to Sanson’s attorneys.  But then again, that’s how poetic justice works!   

TRUTH HITS! I-TEAM

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Justice League of America #3

Whatever the Greek word is for the cover of this comic book, I'm a that-phile.

I'm going to try this line at the Karaoke Bar next week!

The people of Kravia start brewing rebellion. It's a lot like making a melting pot except more violent and with less racial epithets. Also, the melting pot thing was actually pretty violent. It turned out a lot of people just wanted Eggs Benedict. Actually, the ingredients in Eggs Benedict are probably too melting potty itself! It just sounds so white! So, um, anyway, the rebels (two people, so far!) are sitting around a bar discussing how they're going to oust Lord Havok when Batman and the Justice League of America stroll in and are all, "Is this where the revolution is brewing?! We're here to advance our own interests in the guise of helping!" It's too bad Lord Havok doesn't have a World's Greatest Detective on The Extremists or he could have sussed out the rebellion himself. Batman is so smart to know where to find these political hooligans!

Lobo's kneepad looks like an eighth member peering through the door. "Hello there! Mr. Skully-Stars here! I'm British!"

Apparently Lobo tracked Bogna to her hidden den of rebellion. He makes sure to point it out before uninformed morons like me start giving Batman all the credit. I'm sorry, Mr. Lobo! I don't know what I was thinking! Why am I still giving credit to Batman? It's obvious you manipulated him into forming this team so you can have a nice relaxing vacation on Earth. And as a good guy, maybe you'll get to date Wonder Woman too! Dammit. Now I want a Lobo team up book in the style of The Brave and the Bold. But he only teams up with female heroes who have become sexually intrigued by him! I hope what I just typed in that last sentence doesn't mean he did something disgusting to their buttholes. By sexually intrigued, I just meant they were interested in finding out what he has to offer in the love bathroom. Hmm, that sounded even more like something disgusting just happened to somebody's butthole. I'm so turned on right now! You know what two words I can't stand? Capital and capitol. Stop purposefully trying to be confusing⁴! The rebellion's only request of the Justice League of America is to overthrow Havok and The Extremists. After that, they'll take care of the rest. I thought Bogna was going to be way too proud to ask the Justice League of America to do practically everything! The nerve! While the rebellion foments, Lord Havok visits the neighboring countries to tell him all about his open palm slash fist metaphor. One of the countries he visits is Zandia and he's all, "This place sucks in this timeline. Get it together, Rebirth!" I don't recognize any of the other countries. That means they're probably real! Remember how I just figured out last issue that The Extremists were parodies of Marvel heroes? I just remembered it myself! And that also means that the cover is even more exciting than I first thought! It's a rematch between Lobo and Wolverine (albeit a lousy parody Wolverine but I'm honoring the sentiment!). And this time the fight had better not take place off panel behind a bar! And also, Lobo had better win! What a stupid rip-off that last fight was. Nobody really believed Wolverine could beat Lobo. The vote was rigged! It was all politics! It was a popularity vote! If comic book fans had the ability to use logic and not just their nerd boners for certain characters, it would have been totally obvious to the Wolverine fans that the Lobo fans were being totally logical and scientific in voting for Lobo to win.

Gross. His world must stink. Also, how can you trace any scent when you can smell everything?! I'm surprised Tracer can speak or use a toilet since most of his brain must be used in sorting scents.

I hope Lobo wins the battle by farting directly into his face. The only fight I want to read about now is the battle between Lobo and Tracer. All those flexing muscles! Maybe a bit of clothing torn off in just the right spots to see a little inner buttock or maybe the slight wrinkling of a scrotum! Nipples hard and quivering through the sweat of physical exertion! Their lips coming closer and closer as they threaten each other with outrageous tortures! Oh man. I'm so turned on right now! Killer Frost and The Atom battle Death Bat (who just killed her teammate Brute who had been sent to kill her for being weak. Ha ha. Who's weak now, et tu Brute? Did that sound intelligent?). It's the worst battle because Death Bat does that thing where a comic book villain knows more than they should know so that they can use it against the heroes. So she happens to know that none of the team really trusts Killer Frost and tries to use that to make Killer Frost doubt herself. Instead, Killer Frost is all, "I've changed! And you can change too! I mean, people seem to accept a hero with the name Killer Frost. Death Bat probably won't go over too bad either!" Black Canary fights Gorgon and judging by his tentacle hair, it's bound to be the sexiest fight of them all.

Hee hee. Eyes up. He's looking at her cleavage! Or, at the very least, I'm looking at her cleavage!

What's with female super heroes in cool boots refusing to lace them? Is that a form of martial arts I don't know about? Like drunken style? Tripping over your laces fu? The Ray battles Dreamslayer although it's not much of a battle. It's more of a therapy session. Ray is all, "Why aren't you being as mean and violent as the rest?" And Dreamslayer is all, "Because I'm afraid of the monster that I might become!" And The Ray is all, "You're gay, right?" And Dreamslayer is all, "Kiss me!" Okay, maybe that scene only happened in my Masturbationarium.

Wink, wink!

Batman, Vixen, and the Rebellion go after Lord Havok on the throne. When they break into the throne room to punch him in the face, he's all, "I've already won! I made diplomatic deals with the surrounding nations that were only based on about 95% threats! That means they'll stand behind me and not you! I mean...that's how it works, right? Wait. Did I miscalculate?" And he did miscalculate but not in the way he was thinking. He miscalculated by not killing Batman in the first issue and then by not keeping an eye on Batman ever since that moment and then by not realizing Batman had infiltrated his inner sanctum! Idiot. Batman steals Havok's shield off of his back so he can stand there looking like Captain America. You know, just in case Steve Orlando had to sell this script to Marvel! Oh, and Lobo's battle with Tracer lasted one panel where Lobo put out his cigar in Tracer's eye. That was almost as bad as the fight behind the bar and the hand reaching up for the cigar to indicate who won! Which could have been either Lobo or Wolverine, so it shows the scene was already written long before the votes were tallied! All it needed was the colorist to choose the correct palette! The Ranking! Obviously this is the best comic book DC is currently publishing. Obviously that is an objective assessment and not the rantings of a total Lobo fanboy. _________________________________ ¹As long as that person is white. ²I'm Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea, dammit! Grandmaster Comic Book Reader! ³I'll let you come up with the metaphor because I don't want a bunch of offended people trying to ruin my life. I mean, I can think up some really offensive metaphors! So bad! They're in their right now, dancing around inside my mind doing the most horrible things to each other. So terrible! ⁴Of course, just like every other confusing thing in English, it only takes a brief overview to clear up the confusion forever. So people who don't know when to use who and whom are just being purposefully ignorant! And I know purposefully ignorant!

The Buy Pile: Welcome To Image Comics’ God Country

WHAT IS THE BUY PILE?

Every week Hannibal Tabu (winner of the 2012 Top Cow Talent Hunt/blogger/novelist/poet/jackass on Twitter/head honcho of Komplicated) grabs a whole lotta comics. These periodicals are quickly sorted (how) into two piles — the “buy” pile (a small pile most weeks, comprised of planned purchases) and the “read” pile (often huge, often including comics that are really crappy but have some value to stay abreast of). Thursday afternoons you’ll be able to get his thoughts (and they’re just the opinions of one guy, so calm down, and here’s some common definitions used in the column) about all of that … which goes something like this …

THE BUY PILE FOR JANUARY 11, 2017

God Country #1 (Image Comics)

Jump from the Read Pile. Whoa. This staggering new idea — and it is that, a wholly new idea — does everything right in a pitch perfect first issue. What seems like a fairly by-the-numbers if effectively presented family drama takes a big turn in the third act and becomes something magnificent. Too much to spoil, but the script from writer Donny Cates delivers characters and a plot that work and feel right while the visuals from Geoff Shaw, Jason Wordie, and John J. Hill effectively makes a desolate section of Texas come alive on the page. Where has this book been hiding? Wow.

It’s a bumpy ride but still pretty good in “Deathstroke” #10

Deathstroke #10 (DC Comics)

Warning: this issue signals a chance for this series to lose its “buy on sight” status. There were some solid developments in small doses — Rose Wilson using her gifts to bond with her mother’s relatives and a flashback for the titular character — but the story wasn’t a single cohesive narrative and meandered too restlessly. There was a lot to enjoy, but this issue didn’t stand up to the series’ standards. Had this been read before purchasing, it would be an honorable mention, so let’s see if it can find its way back to greatness next issue.

Harlem’s heating up in “Power Man and Iron Fist” #12

Power Man And Iron Fist #12 (Marvel Comics)

Despite the super powers and sometimes spectacular (or in Iron Fist’s case, laughable) costumes, this is a crime comic done so well. Three rival groups — the Black Cat and Piranha Jones on one hand, the formerly dead teen genius Alex Wilder on a second and albino crime lord Tombstone as a third — are all vying for control of the criminal underworld in Harlem. Along the way, the innocent became victims of the system and the guilty saw their crimes washed away, all with two best buds caught in the middle. David Walker’s script allows everyone a moment to shine in a harmonic smoothness that makes this book a joy to read. The visuals from Sanford Greene, Lee Loughridge and Clayton Cowles are rough hewn but fitting for the highly kinetic, rough and tumble city streets. This book is a joy to read and almost Shakespearean in its machinations.

Get into the Wayback Machine for a secret origin in “The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl” #16

Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #16 (Marvel Comics)

The origin issue is a staple in comics, and with her 25th anniversary as a character (wow!) we look back at the literal origins of Doreen Green, who didn’t have to wait until puberty to begin her climb into awesomeness. From what could be the most awesome five-year-old birthday party ever (apologies to the children of this columnist) to celebrations of her birthday throughout the years this wonderfully exposed not only her great character development but also her longtime relationship with her squirrel friend Monkey Joe (no idea why he’s called that). Ryan North turns in another winning script (with Will Murray, Squirrel Girl’s creator) and the cartoony, kinetic stylings of Erica Henderson, Rico Renzi and Travis Lanham (with a Steve Ditko sketch in there, too) deliver big time.

WHAT’S THE PROGNOSIS?

Even in the sole challenge, there were high points, plus that great jump from Image, so that’s a good thing …

THIS WEEK’S READ PILE

Honorable Mentions: Stuff worth noting, even if it’s not good enough to buy

“Occupy Avengers” #3 was very close to making it home as the chemistry and banter between characters was as engaging as the clean, gorgeous artwork. Unfortunately, we were all having such a good time making new friends that the plot didn’t keep up, lacking story meat when push came to shove. Very close and the first two issues were stellar, so this will likely pick up steam next issue.

“Doctor Who The Eleventh Doctor Year Three” #1 had a lot of charm and started strong but didn’t finish or tell a complete story, as if it never had any intentions of being a single installment. Enjoyable until it was frustrating.

If the changes in Victor Creed last longer than this crossover, “Uncanny X-Men” #17 might be worth noting. As it was, too many red shirts fell and too much monologuing from Sabretooth made this a little emo even amongst all the bloodshed.

“Green Valley” #4 was running a little too slowly for its own good, but answered a number of questions about the nature of the threat and did some solid character development.

“Captain America Steve Rogers” #9 succeeded largely in its flashbacks, giving the cosmic cube-powered retcon real resonance and gravity. It failed mightily in its cover-advertised “Trial of Maria Hill,” which had procedural, scientific and logical flaws big enough to fly a helicarrier through (unless Everett K. Ross is just a really bad lawyer). This gets closer to finding its ground, but hasn’t made it there yet.

The “Meh” Pile Not good enough to praise, not bad enough to insult, they just kind of happened … “Titans” #7, “Ninjak” #23, “Deadpool” #24, “All-Star Batman” #6, “Foolkiller” #3, “Dungeons And Dragons Frost Giant’s Fury” #1, “Guardians Of The Galaxy” #16, “Hard Case Crime The Assignment” #1, “Totally Awesome Hulk” #14, “Detective Comics” #948, “Spider-Man Deadpool” #13, “Birthright” #21, “Flash” #14, “Spider-Man” #12, “Hard Case Crime Triggerman” #4, “Jessica Jones” #4, “Doctor Who The Tenth Doctor Year Three” #1, “Khaal” #1, “Rocket Raccoon” #2, “Hal Jordan And The Green Lantern Corps” #12, “James Bond Felix Leiter” #1, “Justice League Power Rangers” #1, “Silk” #16, “Samurai Brothers In Arms” #5, “Uncanny Avengers” #19, “Wonder Woman” #14, “E.V.I.L. Heroes” #4, “All-New Wolverine” #16, “Red Hood And The Outlaws” #6, “Deep” #1, “Mighty Thor” #15, “Suicide Squad” #9, “Assassin’s Creed Awakening” #3, “Superwoman” #6, “Flash Gordon Kings Cross” #3, “Motro” #3, “Violent Love” #3, “Supergirl” #5, “Marvel Universe Guardians Of The Galaxy” #16, “Mega Princess” #3, “Spawn” #269, “Groo Fray Of The Gods” #4, “Scooby Apocalypse” #9, “Savage Dragon” #219, “Namesake” #3, “Doctor Strange And The Sorcerers Supreme” #4, “New Super-Man” #7, “Amazing Spider-Man Renew Your Vows” #3, “Doctor Who The Third Doctor” #4, “Ms. Marvel” #14, “Justice League Of America Vixen Rebirth” #1, “Motor Crush” #2, “Inhumans Vs X-Men” #2, “Gotham Academy Second Semester” #5, “Red Sonja” #1, “Star Wars Poe Dameron” #10, “Earth 2 Society” #20, “Invisible Republic” #14, “Batgirl And The Birds Of Prey” #6, “Great Lakes Avengers” #4, “Doctor Who The Twelfth Doctor Year Two” #13, “Action Comics” #971, “Daredevil” #15.

No, just … no … These comics? Not so much … … what? Nothing awful? That’s fantastic!

SO, HOW BAD WAS IT?

Good to have nothing to complain about.

WINNERS AND LOSERS

Call this week a winner with that brilliant new idea and nothing to truly be angry about.

THE BUSINESS

The writer of this columnist will be a special guest at Black Comix Arts Festival in San Francisco, making a number of new announcements about comics projects for 2017.

The writer of this column isn’t just a jerk who spews his opinions — he writes stuff too. A lot. Like what? You can get “The Crown: Ascension” and “Faraway,” five bucks a piece, or spend a few more dollars and get “New Money” #1 from Canon Comics, the rambunctious tale of four multimillionaires running wild in Los Angeles, a story in “Watson and Holmes Volume 2” co-plotted by “2 Guns” creator Steven Grant, two books from Stranger Comics — “Waso: Will To Power” and the sequel “Waso: Gathering Wind” (the tale of a young man who had leadership thrust upon him after a tragedy), or “Fathom Sourcebook” #1, “Soulfire Sourcebook” #1, “Executive Assistant Iris Sourcebook” #1 and “Aspen Universe Sourcebook,” the official guides to those Aspen Comics franchises. Love these reviews? It’d be great if you picked up a copy. Hate these reviews? Find out what this guy thinks is so freakin’ great. There’s free sample chapters too, and all proceeds to towards the care and maintenance of his kids … oh, and to buy comic books, of course. There’s also a bunch of great stuff — fantasy, superhero stuff, magical realism and more — available from this writer on Amazon. What are you waiting for? Go buy a freakin’ book already!

Got a comic you think should be reviewed in The Buy Pile? If we get a PDF of a fairly normal length comic (i.e. “less than 64 pages”) by no later than 24 hours before the actual issue arrives in stores (and sorry, we can only review comics people can go to stores and buy), we guarantee the work will get reviewed, if remembered. Physical comics? Geddouttahere. Too much drama to store with diminishing resources. If you send it in more than two days before comics come out, the possibility of it being forgotten increases exponentially. Oh, you should use the contact form as the CBR email address hasn’t been regularly checked since George W. Bush was in office. Sorry!

The post The Buy Pile: Welcome To Image Comics’ God Country appeared first on CBR.com.

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