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yuri-is-online · 29 days

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Keep thinking bout Yutu and his relationship to his dad. Like we know a little more about Ace, Floyd, Azul and Riddle (maybe I miss someone else?) but I was curious about other details or interactions with the other Overblot boys.

Like how does talking with someone who tries his best to not get involved in other people's business like Jamil work for making his parents fall in love (if that's even something Yutu can see happening with how distant he is)? How does Yutu go about trying to lay some clues for Vil without being found when Vil's doing his best (with Rook's help) to figure out what's going on?

Or what about the shenanigans Ortho would get to to ensure Idia and Yuu get together so they can try to stop the apocalypse and how would Yutu feel about having at least one person (his uncle at that!) who he can rely on? Or does Yutu ever find himself in a situation that makes him go "oh, I could've had this with dad if it weren't for the council" whenever Malleus says something deep without realizing?

Gaaaaahhhhh I just really like this au and I wanna ask you so many questions but I also don't wanna be annoying

ask is referencing the fyuuture kid au, information on which can be found here and here, or under the series section on my masterlist.

No one is annoying for asking questions! I have asks for Idia and Leona's Yutus, which I think makes every overblot boy except for Jamil and Vil due for a detailed post. Azul! Yutu is a bit of a grey area since I have talked about him a bunch but haven't done detailed hc for him. Yet anyway, Jade and Floyd got one so he needs one too otherwise it'll bug me.

Jamil! Yutu absolutely has a lot of guilt and self hatred around his entire existence. As I talked about in the post about the main cast, Jamil was executed in Yutu's future, and he feels personally responsible for that. If his dad had never fallen in love with Yuu then he would have had a chance at his freedom, that's how Yutu has come to see it anyway. He doesn't want Jamil to fall in love with Yuu, even if it means erasing his existence. Down that road lies only tragedy, but there is also something so beautiful about the way Jamil interacts with Yuu when he thinks no one is looking. There is a degree of mutual respect for how hard the other works and intense desire for approval and praise he can sympathize with. He just doesn't see a way for this to end well if it's allowed to continue, he's a very pessimistic kid Jamil! Yutu. But then again the others didn't have to see the rotted corpse of their father getting dragged around by a blot phantom and be told by a few angry relatives of Kalim that he is the one who put him there.

Vil! Yutu is a bit afraid of his dad. He knows from personal experience that the man is intense and does not take no for an answer but he's never been in the position to see 1) what a good thing that can be or 2) just how silly that can make him act. He's also NEVER had to contend with the real Rook before. The Rook he's familiar with is a mindless monster, dangerous sure, but with patterns you can memorize and protect yourself from. This guy is just wild, sure his dad says that he's only putting up for his behavior "for now" but someone tell him where the fucking line is??? The last thing he wants is to just say everything and risk ruining the timeline but Vil keeps demanding specifics. The main thing Yutu tries to do is get him cooperating with Idia in learning about blot phantoms, the way he sees it things will be much easier if his two most trusted adults are on the same page. It's not a difficult ask either post chapter six, I think Vil is someone who would want to understand what happened to him on a scientific level to some degree, but oh Yutu. Now you've just made him wonder how you know that little piece of information, not everyone knows about his overblot, but he didn't know that bit did he?

Ortho and Idia! Yutu wind up being very close. Having his uncle on his side puts Yutu in a much more stable place emotionally and mentally than other Yutus. They spend a lot of time analyzing old records about blot and phantoms, everyone else is convinced they're just hyping each other up for some weird PhD project inspired by the Ramshackle Prefect's time at NRC and hey. They aren't exactly wrong. As for how they go about trying to get Idia and Yuu together... it's a lot of anime recommendations and conveniently forgetting they had something else to do. Yutu has just as in depth knowledge of Idia's tastes as Ortho does, and the added bonus of knowing Yuu's, so they search through lists of things, pick out the shows they know will get the two of you talking and then sit back and let you interact. Yutu is genuinely confused about why or if this is working... but Ortho did send him a video of his dad hyping himself up to try and ask you out (he over heated and just hid inside his room instead but hey. It's the thought that counts.)

Malleus! Yutu just got his post here. And yes he does think regularly about what he could have had with his father if things had been different, but a lot of those thoughts come from his sillier moments. Hearing Malleus talk at length about ruins or seeing him confused about how to interact with technology make him seem more... human for lack of a better term to him. He's very familiar with the myth of Malleus Draconia, but he wasn't fathered by a myth. He was fathered by a man who fell in love with a human under very extraordinary circumstances and Yutu wants to know about why. What things did Malleus like most about Yuu? About Twisted Wonderland? If he had gotten a chance to be raised by him what things would Malleus have wanted to teach him? Would he be any different?

Azul! Yutu is also afraid of his dad, but not based on any personal experiences just his own insecurities. He's not a thin guy, he's not in Octavinelle, and he is extremely worried that his dad will see him as some sort of stupid muscle head and be disappointed in having him. He's also, understandably, extremely angry at him when he learns what he did in Book 3 to his parent. Fuck this guy, he'll just save Yuu himself and hopefully if they still get together he'll grow up to be a totally different person when he's born in this good timeline. But there's just something about Azul's approval that he can't help but want now that drives him crazy. Why can't he just be ok with being alone? He has been all this time anyway...

(Meanwhile Azul is deeply impressed with how well Yutu is at disguising himself as a dumb muscle head. Just look at the kid, he's got everyone thinking he just is controlling their shadows while he's actually using a really complicated bit of cosmic magic. Suckers all of them. Not him though. He's not being fooled by anything about Yutu, no sir.)

Leona, Leona, Leona. He's tricky for me to write. Scar apparently has children? In one the the Lion King sequels? Leona's dislike of kids seems to come from his complicated feelings around the throne and his want for people to be independent. I think he would be one of those gruff intense kind of dads who does the whole "we are never getting a pet" thing and then you see him asleep on the recliner with Princess Nooodles III chilling on his lap with him. Anyway back to Yutu-

Leona! Yutu's relationship with his dad is tempered by the fact Leona knows who and what he is from the start and demands to know why he has traveled back in time. He doesn't explicitly say he knows that he is his father or that Yuu is his other parent, just that he knows time travel is involved, so they have a fairly open amount of communication regarding the overblot "business" but not on much else. Yutu has a desire to understand his father and Leona has a desire to not disappoint him. Who would want their dad to be the second prince? He's destined for nothing but a miserable life anyway, all of the responsibility and none of the privilege (outside of the money but lets be real, Leona's ass does not understand that.) I don't think either Leona or Yutu fully understands that his existence is enough for the other to be happy. When they are forced to talk about it they both laugh it off and roll their eyes at how cheesy that sounds but deep down it means a lot to both of them.

Riddle! Yutu has gotten a lot of posts about him and his "hatred" of his dad but I thought I'd take this post to mention I like the idea of Yutu's favorite food being the chestnut tarts/mont blanc that aren't allowed at Unbirthday Parties but that Riddle still wanted to eat anyway. He's a lot like his father in his love of sweets and his determined denial of it, but he isn't the exact same. Also gives him one more thing to pick a fight with Riddle over (his dad doesn't get the big deal, they can just have a private tea party with Yuu and have all the different sweets they want... can't they?)

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #future kid au #overblot boys

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high-dragon-bait · 2 years

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See. What frustrates me most with the mage/templar thing in Dragon Age is that I completely understand what they were trying to do

On paper, the mage/templar debate reads like this: "There are a group of people who are inherently dangerous, and because of this they are locked away and hated. That hate is often exaggerated, and based in religion, but it is undeniable that the danger is still there. So what do you do? Is it fair to lock up these people for something they can't control? Is it fair to let them loose where they pose a very real threat to defenseless people? What do you do?"

On paper, that is a genuinely very interesting concept. It makes you think! It sparks a debate in your brain! I get what they were trying to do, I don't fault them for that

The problem is. Entirely in the execution, and in the language used around it.

Because it takes an ethical dilemma and treats it exactly like a civil rights issue and those are not the same thing

An ethical dilemma is what I described above. You have two options. Neither are ideal. You need to decide between the lesser of two evils. Which does the most good? Which causes the least harm? The trolley problem. The self-driving cars decision.

That is a far cry from a civil rights issue

In actual real-world civil rights, there has never been a group of people who had to fight for rights that posed some sort of inherent danger. The only danger was bigotry, and that danger is towards them. Real civil rights aren't an issue because the oppressed group has a chance of turning into a blood thirsty fire-monster at any giving second, they're an issue because a different group of people have decided that they are superior to that group for no other reason than the differences they can find. That's it

Now, it does annoy me when people talk about the mage/templar debate like it is a real life civil rights issue. I don't think those discussions are productive, because it... isn't. There is no real mage rights campaign. But the handling of it in the game just has very unfortunate implications for how the writers think oppression works, be it intentional or not.

They wanted to make their issue interesting by giving "both sides a point." And unfortuntely this implies that in real life "both sides" should be taken into consideration in a civil rights issue. But they shouldn't. Because when the fight is based in bigotry, "both sides" are not equal. One is right and one is wrong. The shades of grey come from how the bigotry is presented and who it comes from, but the bigotry itself never "has a point." It's hate. It's hate based in one group's need for superiority and nothing else

An ethical dilemma angle is still a very hard concept to execute properly when you are using people at the core of your ethical dilemma. In this case, it's not "who gets run over by the trolley" it's "who is the trolley." You have to be EXTREMELY careful with that not to end up with, well, what the final product was. Clearly, Dragon Age wasn't

And obviously, even if the mage/templar thing had dropped the civil-rights language and been treated just as an ethical dilemma, the ethical thing to do is still not to lock up the mages. You can't punish people for a crime they might commit. But at least the argument would make more sense and be less frustrating

If they even just adjusted the language, didn't use words like "oppression" didn't call it the "mage rights movement." Didn't directly mirror the language and atrocities committed by Nazis in the Holocaust that's already an improvement. It's not perfect, but it's an improvement.

I believe there could've been a way to do the mage/templar debate right. I honestly think that with careful writing, it still has a chance to be "fixed" and "done right" in the upcoming games. I don't hope for that, I just think it's possible

So yeah, that's the biggest thing for me. I don't think the concept of the mage/templar conflict is a bad one. I get what they wanted to do, but the execution has been fumbled in the lightest of terms.

Cool concept! Badly handled

#dragon age #dragon age 2 #this will be the last mage/templar debate post i will ever make. i have now said everything i could ever say on it #until dreadwolf comes out at least #i might delete this i'm not sure i'm getting my point across perfectly but i wanted to get it off my chest for now

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brandnewhuman · 2 years

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The lack of fics where the reader leaves Michael is so annoying. ☹️ I also want him to suffer! And the fics that we do have is : Reader leaving Michael but Michael finds them and kills/kidnaps them. I don’t want that, I want him to go crazy and regret treating his s/o like shit. Like, why can’t we have a happy ending for once?? Don’t get me wrong, fics with Michael killing/ kidnapping his s/o are so good, but I just need one fic where the reader successfully leaves Michael and lives a new and better life while Michael is heartbroken. Some of the fics make me feel so unsatisfied. I just feel like Michael should suffer more, that’s all. I love him but I feel like he’d be such a bastard.

The shape effect

☆STARRING☆

☆Michael Myers☆

CONTENT:

Tw: canon violence, Michael myers being michael, mentions of murder, toxic relationship, angst, description of panic attack

A/N: you have honestly brought this upon yourself IM NOT SORRY. YOU ASKED IT I SHALL DELIVER. Not as good as I wanted it to be but at least it's something. I know it wasn't really a request but Im a people pleaser, what can i say. Enjoy it babe

If you think hard about how everything started to feel so wrong and painful you couldn't pinpoint an exact moment you were sure started this brutal downfall. What draws you to the conclusion that what's happening it's just the consequence of your blind stupidity.

I mean, one has to be pretty stupid to let evil himself live in your house. And if you told anyone they would all tell you that you're a fool for believing this thing could actually work. And they will be right in saying this because almost everyone who ends up in Michael's path dies, why should they think he could be capable of anything other than harm.

But you couldn't find it in yourself to see him as evil as everyone thought of him, even if it meant living in your delusional bubble. Because everytime you look at him you can only see good memories, maybe not real but good nonetheless. You honestly are starting to have a blur in your mind between what it is really like you see it and what's not.

You see what feels like a lifetime worth of memories and things that had made Michael look ten times more human in your eyes. You see his pain and the things he has been through too and that's the part that is making this so hard, cause you know that once it's done you'll be part of the people who have given up on him.

But you have to do it, cause otherwise you'll end up hating him like everyone else does.

You had to go, you had to get away as far as possible for him. You feel just…so tired of fighting and crying, of feeling the most alone you have ever been when you're with the person who's supposed to be the love of your life. The more you'll stay the more you realise that most of the things that make you happy about Michael come from your mind and your need to feel he somehow cares, you have to leave before the realisation eats at everything nice your mind has created. Even if you're aware he's the one who makes you feel miserable, you prefer to be the bad guy in your head instead of him, instead of having to see that you have wasted all this time chasing a fantasy. Those excuses of happy memories were all you had, all the "nice" moments were the only thing you didn't want to give up.

You could live with him not caring anymore or not caring enough but you couldn't just accept he didn't care at all. There was nothing more you wanted from Michael than a sign of him loving you if not as much at least a little bit, you have given him all the chances to show it and he just couldn't.

That's the worst part, you couldn't even be mad at him and keep fighting and screaming while crying about how much he was hurting you cause he couldn't do anything about it. You were the one who fell in love, you were the one who let themselves be overwhelmed by an unrequited love.

Maybe there was a time where he could've changed, where there was still some of the Michael you wished to have but you had to accept that you were simply too late. You have come into his life too late, what you see it's just all that remains of the person he was before. He's a conglomerate of too many mistakes, too many "too late" and countless days of being told what he is.

Your love was simply not enough anymore or maybe it has never been and you couldn't keep living like you being the one in love for the both of you, could make anything better.

Maybe your mind was telling you to do it for the wrong reasons, but it was screaming at you to just leave before your love for him ends up withering your whole being.

You planned everything so thoughtfully not even Michael himself would be able to find you. If it was someone else you wouldn't make all this effort to leave but Michael was different from anyone else. He could always seem to tell when someone was trying to trick him or do something, he always knew everything about everyone. If you want to leave and he doesn't then you're most certainly never going to leave. That's why you had to make sure everything was right. You just hoped that by the time he finds out you're far enough,reassuring yourself that even if it's not the case he surely won't be upset for too long. You just wanted to stop feeling like you're not enough and free him from having to pretend he cares while simultaneously staying alive. Is it so bad to want for yourself someone less rough? More kind? Someone who didn't need to be "fixed" or teaches basic human emotions while keeping yourself from becoming like him too?

For Michael It will. When he'll come home the first thing he looks out for is you, not to ask you to do something for him or anything but just because you're the first person he has to wait for him and the first he can come back to when he feels alone. When he'll see you're not around he might not think much about it at first, maybe you just went to buy something or you're having a longer shift at work. There's a little whisper inside him, though, telling that something doesn't feel quite right as he heads to the kitchen and sits at the table to wait for you.

In case you were wondering, he waited much longer than anyone could ever wait, after all he's a very resilient person. He would always wait for you even if he had to wait two eternities.

Now he's not stupid, deep down he knows that you're not going back since he hasn't tried to go out looking foe you. He just feels that maybe if he waits enough you'll somehow know and you'll be back.

That's the half of him that still thinks like the 6 years old Michael, the one that waited entire years for his family to come back and for the people around him to really help him. And there's the other half that isn't surprised anymore, that was actually wondering how much longer you would stay.

He is so scared of even moving or breathing to deeply cause to him if he stays still enough he can't pretend that this is not happening

How tragic it is to know perfectly well how bad you are in someone but not being capable of letting go. He once thought the only thing able to torment him was the bottomless pit of darkness inside him demanding more and more violence and consuming literally everything inside him but he was wrong. It wasn't until he met you and he learned how it feels to care for someone, that he knew what was real torture. Being trapped in a body and a mind that are broken, that would never function the way you like and will never give the one you love what they need. No matter the effort, his touch will never be gentle or kind, his emotions will never work the way they should, his voice will never come out to say anything, much less something nice. You were all he had, you were the only one who took care of him and loved him as if he was a real human being worthy of such attention. Loomis had mentioned it from time to time, how his energy and overall him as a whole consumed and ate away other people's vital energy.He used to compare it to a some sort of cancer, when you find out what it is and what is doing is always too late.

The thing is, he is trapped with himself as much as everyone else is. He doesn't get a way out, he doesn't get to justify himself and certainly doesn't get to be understood. You did that though, you made him feel understood and loved and heard, you made him feel like he wasn't entirely wrong at being angry at the world.

You have been very smart at leaving before he could stop you cause knowing himself he wouldn't have allowed that. He finds himself aware of the fact that he wouldn't have cared about your happiness if that meant he got to keep you by his side. But deep down he didn't want to be a cancer for you too, he knows you're right about leaving. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean that a hot stream of tears can't be running down his cheeks inside the mask and falling onto his hands making him realise his crying. He has cried very few times and never this much. This feeling inside him..he just can't stand it. It's getting more and more overwhelming as the hours pass by and in his chest there's an oppressive feeling of not getting enough air. His head is spinning so fast he falls from the chair gripping his chest as if that was going to stop the brutal pounding of his heart inside trying to get out of his mouth. His always steady hands are now shaking as he takes off the mask for the first time in years, he wasn't even sure there was a face under that mask anymore, he doesn't even know how or when he had become more the boogeyman and less michael. He actively feels like he is dying, and he has suffered countless near death experiences so he should know how dying feels. It's like everything that has happened has come down on him only now and it's trying to tear him apart from inside. He waits and waits for the moment in which his lungs stop gasping for air and his heart stops fighting to keep the heartbeats going, but it never comes. He's stuck in that almost dying over and over again.

The thought of how happy you would be to finally see his face crosses his mind and for you he would be faceless for life, he would let anyone see right through what scares him the most just to have an opportunity to make you come back, to keep you near.

But he can't, like some stupid romantic story cliché he wants to change when it's too late.

He holds his head between his hands and tries so hard to stop the loudness inside his mind, he feels so dizzy he could throw up. He can't take it anymore, the shape himself feels defeated and it's now even praying for god to make it stop. He tries so hard to just push everything away but it's like he can feel himself getting sicker and sicker, like the pain is spreading inside him just to rip apart his body to get out.

He just doesn't know how to make it right and how to tell you, he just doesn't know and now you're gone because of it. It's like every mile you get away from him he feels it in pain.

As days pass by it doesn't get any better, if anything it gets worse. He has thought about stopping going back to your house and just getting away from anything that reminds him of you but everytime he takes a step towards the opposite direction his mind flashes him with images of you coming back and not finding him. He knows it won't happen but knowing it doesn't mean accepting it.

He keeps lying on your side of the bed, trying to imagine hard enough that you're there. Keep caressing your clothes but not too much so he can save your scent for a little bit longer. He holds onto everything and anything that can make him feel close to you, even if it's painful he needs it. He needs to at least know you were there once, that you really existed before disappearing.

The void you have left behind it's eating him alive and the ones paying for it are his victims. He has searched for you, has tried everything but in the end you seemed to have outsmarted him because he had to give up.

For any other person, this type of pain would certainly end up fading and just become a distant memory of a nasty break up but for Michael? He can't forget.

His body and his mind, his essence if you will, latches onto every little thing that makes him feel alive. He will live with the pain of not having you near for the rest of his life.

#slasher fandom #slashers #slasher community #slasher fanfiction #horror movies #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #michael myers #slasher imagines #slasher #og michael myers #peepaw michael myers #rz michael myers #peepaw myers #halloween #michael myers x reader

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octoagentmiles · 1 year

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do you have any hcs for barnacles and dashi ? I'm rewatching it and many episodes start with the two of them in the main area , oftentimes there's a third person involved but it's always the two of them so they must spend alot of time around each other :O 10 / 10 bonding

Had to think hard about this since Dashi's role in the main series is so small—but you're actually so right 👀 10/10 buddies 👍

You'll get my headcanons I promise but first you gotta listen to me infodump, okay? Deal:

I personally headcanon that Dashi was one of the first Octonauts, she hasn't been around a super long time- but at least long enough that she was probably around for the first Octopod, and that would give her and Barnacles (and the other OGs) plenty of time to get close.

We know Inkling canonically founded the Octonauts, but I imagine that it was actually Barnacles who picked out the crew—over various fateful encounters (Kwazii, Peso), or already knowing them (Tweak)—with the two exceptions of Dashi and Shellington.

Shellington heard about them through the kelp vine by pure chance, and got himself a job via determination. Then, at some point—he recommended Dashi to Barnacles or Inkling, and got her a position as an intern. (He knew her through her photography; she took pictures for him once or something like that.)

I also headcanon they weren't called The Octonauts yet at that point. I headcanon that Dashi came up with the "Octonauts" name during her first few days, and they kept it. (Coincidentally, the first Octopod crashed during those first few days. T'was completely unrelated, I promise 😅)

Fast forward: I've been thinking about Dashi in AnB a lot lately, and the one question that keeps coming up is: "Why did Barnacles make her the Captain of the Octoray?"

They haven't addressed it in the show yet, and it felt a little bit like the writers just wanted her to Do Something, y'know? So I went back to rewatch some of her main series episodes, and this scene from The Surfing Snails stuck out:

This scene shows how much he trusts her. He trusts her to make the right calls, and to be careful. He shows this trust in her again in the Wild Windstorms:

"...I'm ready for this!"

"I know you are, Dashi."

I REALLY wish they had spent more time giving her some kind of arc, showing this trust being built. She absolutely deserved an arc like Peso's, where we could've seen her growth and her bond with Barnacles getting stronger. It would've made the Octoray thing make much more sense, and I would've loved to actually SEE her evolution from "getting stuck in a whale shark" to "inventing stuff with Tweak" to the level of respect that Barnacles clearly has for her in S4 and Beyond, but instead it feels like all that stuff happened off-screen.

I also wanna point out real quick; that Dashi is one of the select few characters to ever call Barnacles by his first name only. This is something that the writers frequently use to emphasize closeness between Barnacles and someone else (Kwazii, Natquik, etc), and Dashi has done it twice. I'll admit I thought it was an error the first time, but then I caught her doing it again in Sac Actun. SO CLEARLY THEY ARE CLOSE. YES? WE AGREE. YES.

ok I'm done. pleasure doing business with you 🤝

*slams hands down on table* MISC. HEADCANON TIME ‼️ (which technically, could all totally be canon until the writers finally decide to give us real information ✨)

She has 100% read ALL of his books and journals, at least twice. Sometimes he gives them to her so she can beta read them, and she's also helped edit a few.

She has written her own journals, mostly in the form of scrapbooks, that she shares with him too. He has a first edition signed copy of one of them.

She made friendship bracelets for everyone on the ship after the Octopod was rebuilt, and he keeps his on his desk. It's still in mint condition.

I feel like at least ONE of the cameras in her collection was a gift from him.

She is trained on how to steer the Octopod manually. Considering the only two on board at the time who knew how to do it were Barnacles and Tweak—her showing slight interest was the only convincing he needed to teach her.

Sadly, she's never needed to use this skill. Yet.

She learned how to play harmonica when he decided to learn accordion, so they could duet together, but she got the hang of it much faster than he did.

They work out together sometimes. She's much stronger than she looks—and has won an arm wrestling match against him at LEAST once. She's also beat him in a foot race; it was almost a very close tie, and she needed to lay down for an hour after—but she did it. He will never live either of these down.

They definitely gossip in HQ sometimes, when it's just the two of them.

#*very long dramatic exhale* i have so many thoughts about dashi. anyway-#octonauts #dashi octonauts #captain barnacles #please excuse the slightly off captions in the surfing snail images - they came like that in the clip and i didn't feel like redoing them #also i forget what episode had dashi calling barnacles his first name for the first time 😭 that's why i didn't specify-#but i DO vividly remember it so i didn't imagine it i promise hgdjfk <3 #it was in like s1 or 2 (p sure 1) and she was in the octopod trying to get a hold of him in the gup-a like ''dashi to barnacles?'' etc etc #but anyway: PLEASE anb give us a barnacles and dashi episode!! show us their friendship 🙏🙏 i beg #also this post is Not Ship. i mean idk what anon's intentions were- but as far as i go this is Not Ship 👍❌ ty <3 #dashi beat barnacles in an arm wrestling match back in her early days when she still had Strong Cave Diving Arms™#but the foot race was more recent. all the octonauts have strong legs from all the swimming they do but dashi's also a SURFER so 👀#i feel like these tags end abruptly but idk what else to say so 🤲🤲 you've reached the end of the post‚ have a nice day 👋👋#the end #le fin #<3

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spirithunts · 7 months

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there was a promise made, once, that this wouldn't happen again.

too long she went now without eating, that her demonic self began presenting in her disguise. what truthfully is hardly recognizable, but enough to irk evelynn into a worry. enough that she now stands -- well, kneels -- over a bloody mess of what was some famous male celebrity. what he is now.... nothing but a massacre.

there lies the broken promise: that evelynn wouldn't feed so carelessly. to the point of nearly being caught, and perhaps it is that she's so lucky, that it's only ahri approaching and no one else.

despite it all, she still holds no shame. the smile she wears, regaining energy and feeling ALIVE -- terrifying. "the brain's still in tact," said almost apologetically, alike an offering to appease her long timed friend from fusing further. she then shrugs, casting her gaze back to the artwork she's created. "if you want it, that is."

» — A BROKEN PROMISE.

— @agonizedembrace

No matter how she may struggle against it, Ahri knows it is in her nature to hunger for the very essence of living mortal souls — the core of what they are, the memories that shaped them, their deepest and most secret feelings. She knows, too, that never is that hunger greater than when she ignores it for too long, as she knows there are some people, those with intense memories and intenser feelings, who tempt her and defy her control over herself. Despising it does not change what she is; normal humans need the nourishment food provides, as the vesani needs the essence of their very spirit.

Evelynn, of course, has similar needs.

Ahri remembers past lives, where demon and vastaya hunted side by side. It still happens, at times, often a way to keep each other in check, as were the promises they exchanged — that Eve wouldn't be careless in how she fed, refraining from massacres such as the scene stained in red that lays in front of her; that Ahri would not let some sense of self-loathing and martyrdom prevent her from feeding.

Shame follows close behind the sense of relief she feels at the fact the man is already dead. His unidentifiable remains denounce the agony he was surely subject to, and the vastaya knows how easy it would be to get intoxicated in a feeling so intense. Yet the regret would have followed the high, as it always did, and she would be caught in the spiral of hating what she was, as it always happened. He is dead, though; and enticing as the blood might be, it doesn't hold a candle to what raw emotion would provide.

The frown that remains on her face makes it vividly clear the peace offering is not enough to appease her. Relieved as she is to be the one who walked in on this instead of someone else, that alone would not change her sullen mood. Eve has to feed as much as he does, this isn't in question — but the how should not be so... messy. It's not the first time some guy seen with her friend will disappear under mysterious circumstances. Ahri imagines it won't be the last.

"Someone could've seen. Someone who would recognize you. And then what, you'd kill them? What if it was someone you care about?" There wouldn't be time to get rid of the remains; the place is too open, has too many people who could wander even to this mostly secluded corner and come across what they should not. Eve could slip away unseen, of course — the real challenge would be to find a reason for her sudden disappearance, most of all when eventually this poor man would surely be identified. A headache for later (she wants to leave this place as soon as possible; it just reminds her of her own hunger, something Ahri is only more inclined to ignore, now). "Go home. We can't let anyone see you like this."

"I'll... make sure someone finds him," It seemed like the least that could be done — to give those who cared for him the chance to mourn, if not the closure they would certainly need. The most respectful thing she could do for the man himself, too; it is in Eve's nature to feed, but as far as Ahri knows, the one whose life she had taken wasn't someone terrible — someone more deserving of respect than the victims the vastaya tried to pick. "So be prepared for the questions that'll certainly soon come your way."

A pause, brief; then she speaks again, less matter-of-factly and lecturing, a hint of sorrow coloring her tone. "You promised me, Eve. And you know it's not just for me — it's also for Kali and Kai'sa and all the other people we have around us who we care about. For you, too, whether you see it or not. I'm not asking you to starve — I'm not even asking you to pick who you're hunting like I do. But you have to be more careful."

"Just... go home, okay? It's already done. Let's not make it worse."

#today i give you............ angsty bloody bffs............#ahri is upset #and hungy #and feeling guilty even though she didn't kill anyone SDIFJASDIJF #agonizedembrace #» in character — ⌜spirit huntress.⌟#» verse — ⌜kda.⌟

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godstrain · 9 months

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"Hey. Checkin' in on you, Doc." Darck's voice rings true as she leans in the door frame. Calm as can be with those critical and all knowing eyes behind purple sunglasses. It was something of the occasional thing, when the odd creature would stop by. Whatever she may be, it was not of BOW origin. She'd hinted at Wesker before of her state of being, half alive and dead, but supernatural in its ways. Wanted to at least leave something for Albert to pick at and figure out for his ever working brain.

And she also knew how he was. One of the few who knew the true identity, his history, yet still had offered a hand in help. Despite all odds.

"Doing well recently? Need any new supplies? And I mean your personal work or life, not public work." ➤ @darckcarnival

he has learned what his struggles are. he knows how to time things right. he knows how to pretend that he isn't the remnants of a monster / tyrant made in some abandoned lab- and he has adjusted to that strange emptiness. at least, somewhat. it's better to be alone, to not subject anyone to the truth-

except, darck knows the truth. she knows that albert wilde is just another fabrication. a life that could've existed, but didn't. not truly. she knew what he had done, she knew far too much for his liking, didn't she? a person who was more than capable of outsmarting albert wesker, the self-declared god of a new world. but that was also another fabrication / desire that was not truly his. he had been another extension of oswell spencer, then. it hits him time and time again that his entire life has been rather out of his control. it's the reminder that he can barely call himself a real person anymore. he never really was able to become anything but the frightened little boy who had no one to cover his eyes when...

albert wilde had died with his parents that day, hadn't he? albert wesker had learned to cheat death- so perhaps the same was true for albert wilde / nestled deep in the tyrant's psyche, given a chance to exist through the strange kindness of the not-alive-not-dead darck.

doing well recently? he knows he must look a mess. rather fresh from that seasonal ordeal, shaken as always- but she's asking as a courtesy. ❝ not much has changed, ❞ he sounds rather awful, too- throat raw from screaming, body aching from trying to escape the enclosure he'd built specifically to prevent that (he'd never figure out how to escape while robbed of any semblance of complex thought). ❝ i remain in a cycle that i ... ❞

that i am afraid of breaking. i don't know how else to live. i cannot live like this, but my other options are unknowns. i have always hated anything that i could not predict- he hopes she can't read minds, although even if she could, maybe that would be better than having to admit anything out loud. ❝ it's rather unfortunate that i'm left without the resources from tricell- excella was easy to manipulate, eager to please, almost too eager- ❞

tricell had crumbled just as umbrella had, but wesker was well aware of abandoned facilities. he could raid one and escape before anyone knew- except darck, because she was always watching. that had turned out to be a blessing and a curse, hadn't it? ❝ but, your kindness is not something to take for granted. i'm certain you could easily deprive me of resources as easily as you have provided them- ❞ the syringes lay neatly in a row, pre-measured and ready to use. uroboros' remnants had certainly reduced the frequency in which he required the doses, but in the end, his body had still healed wrong / lacked permanent stability- ❝ it would be best if i obtained resources on my own, at least for this. ❞

he only looks over at her once he's self-administered the serum, a brief but searing pain turning into a soothing relief / he can breathe easier, return to his facade of normalcy- ❝ you've already offered more than i'd expected. now that i have found a way to settle into this new life, you don't have to worry about offering more than this. ❞ for wesker, that's a kindness of its own / the more she offers, the more he fears that he will be found- and he's not ready for that / not ready to face the people he'd ruined and betrayed-

❝ ... thank you for checking in, darck. ❞ it's genuine / soft and uncertain (he's afraid. that had set him apart from the other tyrants- he remembered how to be afraid / fear, a primal thing that helped all creatures survive), but the words are followed by a small smile. it's a step forward, he thinks- something like that.

#darckcarnival #➤ verse ╱ scars on my soul #hey wesker can you uhhhh just admit u are scared and need help lmao #icb hes going to raid an abandoned lab for materials for the fuckin serum hes a piece of work

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leqclerc · 2 years

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Logistically speaking, this weekend Ferrari need to focus on passing checo in the standings before they even think about Max and so wouldn’t that mean prioritizing the driver that’s closest to him? Charles was the one who was leading the championship by 40 points, so if anyone could close the gap it would be him. I just can’t see them throwing all of that away to please a sponsor. And tbh it seems like the fan base wouldn’t let them. Look at how much criticism they are getting from this weekend, even Ralf Schumacher :/// If they throw Charles to the side again I think they’d start WW3

I can only hope and pray that the criticism coming from all sides will be a solid wake-up call for Ferrari going forward. Publicly they still deny any wrongdoing but the negative reaction has been loud and widespread, there's no way they're not aware of the public's opinion. The question is will that be enough, or will lobbying and internal team politics prevail?

And you're absolutely right, with the amount of blunders they've made and the amount of points they left on the table in the five races alone they've given Max a solid cushion. As it stands Charles needs to first close the gap to Checo before he can think about re-opening the fight with Max. Imo with the mistakes they've made, the alleged turmoil within the team vs RB's relative unity and the fact that we're at the midpoint of the season, I can see Charles finishing in 2nd as a runner-up as a relative success. Which is obviously disappointing when he genuinely had a chance this year and after Australia some people were acting like it's a done deal and he's running away with it. Little did we know.

Idk about Ralf, he's always been...controversial, to say the least, and has antagonised pretty much every team and driver at some point, but I know for a fact that RB/Horner went into this season acknowledging that Charles is Max's main rival for the title. They never underestimated him. They saw him as a very real threat, which is why they maximised their points haul when he was on the back foot and vulnerable (Imola). I wasn't happy with their decision in Barcelona, using team orders like that when Checo could've won on merit, but it allowed Max to jump Charles in the standings, which otherwise wouldn't have been possible (granted, they probably didn't suspect Ferrari's disasterclass would play into their hands so well in the coming races). So, in hindsight, they were thinking about the bigger picture and made a decision that prioritised the WDC, something Ferrari has not been able - or willing - to do so far.

This weekend's going to be tough. Even putting aside Ferrari's internal trouble - this is Red Bull's home race. It's Max's playground. Regardless of whose car the track "suits" better, Red Bull aren't Ferrari, and anything less than 1-2 on home soil for them will be unacceptable, so the motivation to score maximum points and wow the home crowd (including an estimated 50,000 Dutch fans) will be sky high. Barring some kind of mechanical failure or a disaster in the race (tangling with someone else's car for example) I think they've got a big chance of making it happen.

On the flip side you've got a frazzled, fractured Ferrari who were unable to enforce team orders when Charles had a 50 point lead; now they've got Carlos fresh off a pole-win combo and inside lobbying for equal treatment that Team Sainz want to see become preferential treatment for Carlos. It doesn't look promising.

The good news is Charles has a good track record around this circuit, and was even able to put the SF1000 tractor on the podium, much to everyone's shock. Not that that really means anything, considering he held the record for highest average finishing position in Silverstone before Ferrari firmly fucked that up for him. To think he finished higher in the SF1000 there than in a title-contending car. Ridiculous. The bad news? Pretty much everything else ajsdjf

#replies #anonymous #logic doesn't necessarily apply to ferrari 😵‍💫#i mean i can only hope they get their head out of their asses and fast but fuck i have to say i have little to no hope left in them #every team has occasionally fucked up but what they're doing is next-level and the dogged refusal to take responsibility is concerning #discussions and predictions

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henrysfedora · 2 years

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because we like angst, sometimes I think about my alt timeline about Vito in chapter 12. I know hes the protagonist but what if he died during one of the shoot outs.

it's the weight of the guilt on Henry that does it for me. I remember making a note in my sketchbook once about, what if Joe told Henry Vito was short for money after the night of the fire or so, and even if Henry had been planning the drug deal for awhile this just solidified it, because this is such a great deal is it not? here Henry is being able to give his friends over twenty grand each. Add on Henry lying a little to Vito about who they were giving the drugs to, add on that Henry knew Vito was desperate for money and add on the fact that Vito loves Henry and Joe with his life, with his whole heart and they're all he has left because Leo had to leave and Frankie doesn't wanna be around Vito anymore, she chooses to stay away because of what Vito has become / is becoming. Add on Henry was one of the wiseguys Vito looked up to, and teaching an abusive, cheating husband a lesson, this is what a real man would do to protect his sister would it not? at least in his mind.

What else could he do other than do the deal with his best friends to earn money because not only does he need it, he craves and chases it too. Add on Henry reassuring Vito that it'll be a quick job and they won't need to worry about distribution. Add on that Henry knew Vito wouldn't do it if Henry didn't simplify the whole thing. And Vito wouldn't want to hurt their feelings by saying no even if he hates it.

Just thinking about Henry holding Vito and realising if he didn't set this deal up Vito wouldn't be dead and would still be alive and smiling because it's as simple as he has Joe and Henry. But now because of Henry's decisions, neither of them have Vito anymore, Joe doesn't have Vito anymore and maybe Joe doesn't see Henry the same way he used to. And this is the moment pre-slash that he realises his ideas are absolutely fucking stupid and look at what you've done Henry as he holds the corpse of a twenty-six year old young man, who just barely lived over half of Henry's life. Remember all the things Vito and Joe have done for you and this is how you repay them.

Edit: would you like some more

Maria and the whole broken heart thing, I guess it is a bit like Frankie. What Vito has become has driven them away either physically or through death.

Vito dying in Henry's arms, that could be the first time he's ever seen Henry cry. And what if Vito apologised to Henry- he's sorry about doubting you Henry, he's sorry about getting mad at you for not seeing him in prison because he should've known you would've had your own things to do wouldn't you. I mean you are a wiseguy after all. He's sorry for being slack in the shoot out, he's better than this and it was his fault, it wasn't yours. And then Henry cutting him off and apologising to Vito and Joe, this was his fault and he's sorry. He's sorry for not thinking it through, sorry about practically ruining their lives.

Emphasising how painful it would be for Henry, Vito was doing this job for Henry, he was doing it because he believed in him, he did it not because he would like it but because he wants to support his friends to the very end. Henry knew Vito wouldn't have done it if Henry didn't lie. Henry is aware that Vito wouldn't like this job no matter what, so holding his dying body in his arms while realising about how he knew Vito wouldn't like it. Even if there was a chance this deal could've gone smoothly, as Henry assumed, something bad still happened, and Henry realised too late that he didn't think through the possibilities, or that shit happens. Something he warned Vito and Joe about but something they didn't warn him back about, probably because they love him too much and he's an idol, one of the men they most likely grew up watching and admiring and thinking he's quite smart.

Henry you dumb fuck istg, ily.

Actually, what if in this timeline, I mean I don't know how rich the Falcone family is, they could be richer in this one. But what if when Henry gets found out and they have a conversation about it. Eddie pays off most of their remaining debt.

"I'm not doing this for you I'm doing this for Vito"

#SOFISDFSDFHK #IM GONNA S OB #IM SORRY HENRY ILY #vito scaletta #henry tomasino #joe barbaro #its 3am what the hell is going on im sad

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hahanoiwont · 1 year

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Pretty sure we've had this conversation before but re 'THATS THEIR DAD' Red was there right? That had to in some way hurt. Because to Red Black is the Sans in the exact same no win situation he was but he *won*. He has the close (the *functional*) relationship with his brother, he has happy life on surface, he has his kid. He has *The* Kid, *Red's* kid the kid Red threw everything away for, the kid that hates him because its was the only way to keep them from loving him so goddamn much. That he hurt so he wouldn't hurt them.

And fuck give it a few months and Black will probably have *Red's* brother too. And its *good* that the two of them have someone who can love them *right* instead of just hurting them in the name of it but it's gotta *hurt* to see what your life could've been if you were just a little bit *better*

if ONLY Red were there. That would be hilarious I mean uh. Very sad. Very sad for him. poor guy...

Luckily for Red, he is not there for this conversation. He and Just Sans are having a different conversation on their own, since Frisk asked for Red to not be there at first. Though the first time Red hears Frisk call Black "dad" he's going to go through a lot all at once. He just didn't think it was possible, or that the word held any real meaning for Frisk. Which, to be fair, it didn't. It came to mean something to them, because it's how Black described their relationship, and he's cultivated a bond with them that has the tenderness and support that they need. Red wasn't able to provide that. What he was able to provide he labeled as a sibling relationship, because it was what he provided/wanted to provide for Fell, so he figured he might as well call it the same thing. (and also because he's aware somewhere in his heart that being forced into a parenting role with fell fucked him up really badly, so while he ended up being as much a parent as a brother to frisk, he has complicated feelings about that.)

Black's desire to yoink Fell and dote on/adopt him forever is also going to be a point of contention between Red and Black, though it may not go exactly how you'd think. Fell doesn't particularly want to be yoinked. While he still has a deep hunger for the affection and validation he never got from Red, he's less prepared than Frisk was to accept it from a relative stranger, so that instant bond with Black doesn't develop. He's used to pushing through his own unmet needs and insisting on his loyalty to Red even when Red himself tells Fell to give up on him and live a better life with people who can be better for him. Black seems to Fell like an incarnation of Red's self-hate: he's stringent about his moral code, he fears the capacity for violence that has kept his family alive, and most importantly he's a judge to the core. Fell also sees Slim's normally well-hidden tendency towards brutal efficiency above all else, and correctly identifies it as a lingering insecurity that if his brother is forced to do too much of the dirty work, he'll be lost forever. So, despite Black's best efforts to save them both, Fell can identify him as being vulnerable to moral self-destruction.

He also correctly identifies part of Black's resentment for Red as being a judgement of the choices Red has made, and Fell is sick to death of Red's self-recrimination. As far as he's concerned, he took the burden of the judge from his brother to save him from this belief that, since he's done such an awful job as a brother, he can never be better. He's chosen to forgive Red. He's chosen to give him a second chance, and in his own way, Red has treated that choice as sacred. He's done absolutely nothing without Fell's consult since then, except in dreams where Fell wasn't available to ask, and made intense efforts to at least try to offer Fell comfort and support where it's needed. He still lacks the skills, but he and Fell are trying so hard to repair their relationship that Black's resentment feels presumptive at best. Black knows of one thing that Red did, one terrible mistake that he made, and refuses to see how he's learned and grown from it. He's seeing the absolute nutjob Sans who hurt his siblingchild, and not Red who's trying to make things right, even if he'll never be forgiven. Not even the person who tried to be what Frisk needed, and tried to send them somewhere better when he realized that he couldn't.

So, when it comes to Black and Red having conflict, Fell will normally refuse to engage while passively sticking to Red like glue. The harder Black tries to pry him away, the more firm he'll be that he wants nothing to do with Black's one-sided drama with Red. He would love to get to know Black as a person, and he's intensely afraid that Black and Slim have replaced him and Red for Frisk, but he's not going to achieve his dreams by sacrificing his family. He still wants to have Frisk and Red both in his life, and he won't compromise.

He's petrified that this conviction will cause him to lose Frisk even after all this, but Frisk gets it. They did live with Red and Fell first, so it's natural to them that Fell can't leave Red. They try to convince Black to cool it about Red so that Fell can at least come to family events without feeling defensive and unwelcome, and they also have mixed emotions about Black's Red-hate campaign. They're glad to have someone so firmly in their corner, but there's still a large part of them that needs to know Red is okay to feel safe. They talk to Slim about their feelings about Red a lot more than anybody else, because Slim is always willing to listen and won't hold it against anyone if Frisk has conflicting feelings that they need to talk out.

All this to say: Red may have already accepted that Black is just better than him in every way and everyone is just going to love him and abandon Red for being broken at the first opportunity, but he's surrounded by a lot more love and loyalty than he realizes. And if he ever needs somebody in his corner, Blue fucking hates Black for unrelated reasons (they are too similar), and the feeling is mutual.

#whither then fic #lol this got long but. everyone's favorite terrible meow meow is goin thru it #red's relationships are so interesting to me #he more than anyone begs the question of second chances #does he deserve to be forgiven? at some point the question is incomprehensible #forgiveness isn't earned and it doesn't make someone a better person #it's a choice by the wounded party to move on #can red as someone who has wounded himself move on?#even if he can't; does that mean he has to mope about it eternally?#what can he do while not forgiving or forgetting what he's done?#the answer is functionally anything. he doesn't have to be forgiven to go grocery shopping. he doesn't have to have a grand redemption #to celebrate his birthday #to love his family #he can go the rest of his life without frisk's forgiveness and that doesn't mean he won't show up at their graduation from college #and even if he doesn't forgive himself he can still find peace and self improvement #what a guy. what a hard to describe guy

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yuuri-nsane · 3 years

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do you ever think about YOI's main ending song.... like from whose perspective it is, or like, the way it links into the op..... i just can't stop thinking about "you're so beautiful tonight / you had me spellbound / you could've stopped an hourglass / take my breath away" being juxtaposed with the slow settle on viktor's insta post at a festival... i can't figure out if it's like the op where it's divided between yuuri and viktor in verses? would love your thoughts if you have any!!

oh my god i actually completely overlooked that! i've never actually searched up the lyrics for you only live once, so i haven't really looked into it! but having brought it up now and doing some cool overanalysing- i thought it was super interesting...

you're so beautiful tonight / you had me spellbound / you could've stopped an hourglass / take my breath away

personally, i see these lyrics as being interchangeable between yuuri and viktor. the whole "wow" factor of the song - it's a possible reference to the way yuuri admired viktor as a kid, and continued to do so as an adult,,, someone who truly inspired him

whereas it could also reference what happened at sochi from viktors pov

^i do strongly believe it's most likely sochi, because although the lyrics portray a general sense of awe, which applies to yuuri for viktor and vice versa, the word "tonight" really resonates with me. to me, it emphasises the moment,, the fact that it [sochi] happened on the one (o n e) night - and it heavily affected viktor afterwards.

in fact. the whole song, evokes a sense of "you stood out. you were different. you inspired me". and if that doesn't scream viktor nikiforov flying halfway across the globe to coach someone who drunkenly danced with him for a single night, after seeing the same person skate one of his routines, i don't know what will.

i think though, that there are undertones referring to the both of them in the entirety of the song. like i said before, it's definitely interchangeable. the way that viktor feels for yuuri - it's mutual. do i need to pull up a pic of yuuri's viktor-poster-covered room

looking back, the op stressed the feeling of building yourself back up after times of hardships; achieving your dreams, whilst simultaneously learning to believe in yourself. with the way that the first verse of the op was from yuuri's single perspective and the second part after that was viktors, i think the ending implies the same thing, but instead, it's watching someone else stand up after being knocked down, and being motivated, driven, to do the same.

"I was born to shine"/ your struggles told me, all the while shining.

i won't shun the wounds i got trying to shine / you taught me that / all the while shining

it's no secret that viktor was extremely unhappy post series. the theories of him being depressed, and wanting to retire? viktor stopped being so passionate about the ice. he wasn't able to surprise people anymore. he stopped loving it. he got bored, and lonely and sad.

but then he meets yuuri. beautiful, lovely yuuri, who made him feel more alive than he's ever felt in years. yuuri is what keeps him going, inspires him - even if it's not to skate or stay on the ice, it's yuuri who makes viktor not want to give up. it's yuuri that makes him feel passionate. it's no longer the ice.

viktor knows that yuuri has a hard time believing in himself. that yuuri is scared of failure and disappointment.

he knows first hand the struggles that yuuri deals with almost 24/7, yet how persistent and unwavering his will is.

he also knows that yuuri has the potential to be the best, to maybe be better than himself. that leaked video of yuuri skating viktors routine to a point shows this. yuuri is talented. but why hasn't he ever seen this? competed against yuuri? yuuri could give him a run for his money - with the way he imitated the skate of the most decorated skater in the century. his skate. he wants to get yuuri to that point of reaching that damned potential. he wants to make it work, and is willing to put the effort in, for yuuri and for himself.

knowing yuuri - so beautiful and hard-working, viktor is in awe.

when you're sad and hard time / we believe in you / oh i'm just dreaming of the day / thunderous applause / roar so loudly that all our hard work will pay off! / "you were born to shine" / you taught me that / all the while shining

the yoi series focuses on yuuri transforming from a "dozen a dime" skater to one that got second place, silver, in the grand prix. yuuri had a hard time believing in himself, believing he could really skate - until viktor came into his life. viktor who popped up from russia, in his family's onsen completely naked. we don't know about sochi until episode 10. 10. and still, what we only know is from their cut short convo about it, the credits and heavy speculation. yuuri has no recollection of it. none of it comes from his pov. but it is essential to the plot. it's the entire catalyst. it makes sense to implicate it, to reflect it in some part of the show.

and the perfect place to do that? the ending.* the focus shifts from yuuri's journey and viktors anchoring presence, to the other way around. the way we delve deeper into it, and find that not everything is so one-sided.

yoi is a love story. and every love story, no matter how small or grand, has two or more interests. two, or more, povs. ep 10 (*which is near the end of the first season), the op and the ending demonstrates this, albeit subtly.

also, the general message of the op is to make a mark. to make history. the ending seems to highlight that, except with a more exaggerated stance. "you only live once." you have one chance, just one, to do this. viktors got it all. fame, money, success. he's done it already - he's made history. he has a title and people know him. but what about love? what about true happiness? has he found them yet? the emotional stability? i think the song in a way, validates viktors constant attempt to attain this - his goal isn't to make history anymore. he's achieved this. his goal is... well - it's something, or someone, else entirely. he was inspired and wants to keep trying.

with that, the part you mentioned about the credits slowing down on a post of viktor at a festival (caption: Nakasu in Japan! Everything is really great and delicious! #Nakasu #Japan #ramen) is another significant piece to the puzzle!

i think the screencap/post itself was sort of foreshadowing the obvious part that alchohol and intoxication plays in viktor and yuuri relationship (or at least it's being the whole catalyst of it),,

but also, it might be another important part of the story we'll see soon. i don't know whether viktors taken the photo himself (which is most likely), or he's pulling someone along who is taking the photo themselves. even then, we really don't know much about it apart from that viktors drunk (he has a glass in hand, is unkempt, blushing, seems carefree). We also know that it's in nakasu (which is a real place in japan) because of the caption. (it's a night district with loads of clubs, karaoke parlors, arcades etc.)

with that, there isn't a lot i can think to propose, other than the foreshadowing theory and that we might get front row seats to drunk viktor having Fun in later seasons.... (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) and maybe some drunk bonding time with yuuri pt2

ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ

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baby-prince-oppa · 3 years

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Ok so...I may have a hot take that I know someone is going to fight me on.

I don't think Colin deserves as much hate as he was getting. Skylar has every right to be upset at him, however I think the root of their conflict is miscommunication. If he really wanted to break up with Sky he could've just said so, but he didn't want to deal with the emotional mess that follows after that. So he tried to be vague about it and hoping that she would take a hint. Of course that didn't end well, and Colin took the biggest L for that one.

Right after the episode where Skylar caught Colin with Ruby, I was hoping that there was just a misunderstanding that will eventually be cleared up. Throughout the whole thing, the way Colin spoke to Ruby is so casual, I didn't think he was flirting with her at all. Not seeing the vibe here. So I thought he accepted Ruby's invitation as a friendly hangout and didn't feel the need to bring up that he already had a girlfriend. (Apparently I'm at that old age when I didn't know that "kickin' it" means making out. Someone had to point that out to me.)

And even if he was interested in Ruby, does it really count as cheating if he thought he already broke off with Skylar? Honestly, I don't think Colin would be THAT stupid to hook up with another girl if he knew his girlfriend is going to show up at the exact same time and place.

Also Colin didn't get a chance to apologize but then again, what else can he say? It’s likely he's going to make excuses anyway but at least Skylar should make it clear that it's over between them. Say it directly to his face, unlike what he did before. “Y’know what, Colin? You’re right. We should just keep things ‘chill’. And by ‘chill’, I mean we’re done.”

Now I get that he has to suffer for a bit, but I kinda feel sorry for him? Like, did everyone at school heard what a jerk he was and avoided him, so he ends up alone with zero friends? Gosh, I hope not.

Look at this old story from Scott’s now deleted IG account.

There’s a caption underneath Colin that says “Redeemable?”

If he’s going to get a redemption arc, I want his character to get the appropriate build up to deserve that treatment. (But if we’re being real, obviously MGA is not going for “Avatar: The Last Airbender” levels of storytelling here.) I know everybody hates him but I’m hoping to see some growth from him.

TLDR: Colin did one thing wrong but that doesn't make him the worst person on the show. What he did was a mistake and there was no malicious intent behind it.

Ok so this one I know a lot of people are going to strongly disagree on, but I’m just indulging myself here:

What are the chances that Skylar would eventually start missing Colin and text him in private? Or what if something so humiliating happened to Colin that Skylar felt sorry for him and left a tiny compensation by his locker?

If it was the former, I could imagine her friends would absolutely freak out over it and not in a good way lol

#rainbow high #my post

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

Note

Can you help me please? I'm crying so hard right now, and feel like I have no one to vent to. So, I sent something about my SP recently. You said I should turn the focus to myself and so I did. Thing is I was feeling overwhelmed, and quite sad because uncertainty about how my SP was doing was killing me, especially because he said he was not feeling well. I clearly couldn't focus because I still am in that state of abandonment and uncertainty.

It has triggered many of my past traumas. I'm doing efforts to uplift myself everytime I need it, but yesterday I couldn't stop crying because of him, so I texted him asking if he was okay, he didn't answer obviously. Today I have been so anxious, and 3D is showing me so many happy couples, some of them are people I had the chance to date before my SP. All of them moved on so quickly and easily from me (that's how it makes me feel) and it feels so painful how it seems so easy for others and I don't know how to make it easy for myself. I wish I could also be over someone and immediately replace them.

Whenever I turn the focus to myself, I have feelings of wanting to drop my SP, which is not what I truly want. I want him to be with me. But I feel like dropping him would be so freeing and easy for my own health. At this point after begging for answers I feel very humilliated. I wish he could've at least tell me to stop bothering him. I want to move out of my country and start all over, tbh. Like if you saw that chat, you'd feel pity for me. I have had people acting with me how I am acting right now, and always thought: "wow, how desperate" and now I am the desperate one. But I didn't do it because I wanted attention, I kinda just wanted to tell him that I'm worried.

How can I deal with the uncertainty of this ghosting thing and stop putting the blame on myself (myself as a human, I am aware that I caused this through my consciousness) and my worth? Also, how to not hate him in the process? Because the more I uplift myself, the more I push myself towards isolation. It's like I am uplifting myself and at the same time isolating OMG that's exactly how I have been feeling. Like I don't want anyone to come close to me. I go on extreme hermit mode. I may need a psychologist 🤦‍♀️

Ps. I may have seemed very negative, but I actually feel like something beautiful will come out of the current situation I am going through. I know I will have grown in so many ways, and it makes me excited to see myself after all this. I just need to organize my mess. 💕

This ask really touched me. There's a part of me that has felt the exact way that you have felt, many times on this journey. Like truly, down to the every last word you shared. So in that way I want to say you are not alone in this. And it's okay how you're feeling.

This is really heavy, because it's one of those weird moments where you're being called to take even more responsibility for your life... when all you really want to do is break down and cry and know that person is in your life. So, it's best to just cry it out. Let every little thought come up and show itself. Let yourself feel that pain. It's okay. Things come up to the surface so they can be released. So that love can make more way into your life.

I know how it feels to feel so upset with yourself, because you want to move on easily like the rest of the world seems to do. Because other people seem to forget others so easily, and then there's you who can't give up that feeling of wanting to be with that person. That is seriously one of the heaviest feelings. I think it doesn't help that in this world, we are often met with so many ways to judge ourselves harshly. Especially when it comes to love. Like there's so many dating rules and silly games that are encouraged. Even in the manifestation world, there's tons of people who put down sp manifestations. And of course, as you said, you think people would pity you for the way your messages look. You admitted you've even pitied people. But here's the thing. The truth is, I wouldn't think lowly of you if I saw your chat. I wouldn't think you're a person who is so desperate. Because I know how this reality works. No one is out there ignoring you or ghosting you, it's merely a reflection of your inner world. No one ever wants to hurt you on their own. They are just reflecting your inner world. That's all. And I wouldn't shame you for wanting to be with that one specific person. Your desires a promise. Wanting that person is no different than someone who wants a specific job, or a specific house, or anything else specific. It's not right that we think love is something to look down upon, so I won't support that ideology. All of our desires are perfect and all of our desires are perfect for us. They're for us. Your ego may argue, but your Godself knows this is the pure truth.

Here's the thing. I know it's scary to focus on yourself. Truly, I get it fully. You said you feel as though you want to drop him entirely and that's okay. If your desires are a promise, what do you have to lose? Think about it seriously. He's not going anywhere. He's waiting on you! This goes for any desire. Has latching on so tightly helped you up to this point? Sometimes we have to be real with ourselves in this way. What do you have to lose anymore? Your desires are waiting on you to allow them in! And how do you do this? You focus on yourself more. No, this doesn't mean you can never think of him. Just make sure you're the priority. And I think I should explain this better. We're so alike it seems haha Because when you say how the more you focus on yourself, the more you want to shut yourself out. omg I have been in that state so many times. Where I just feel like becoming more closed off from the world. But see, that isn't the kind of focus I am meaning. This isn't about lifting yourself up in an egotistical way. It's the ego who's telling you to hide from the world. It's fear based. When I speak of uplifting yourself it's more about how you begin to build confidence and trust in yourself. Like in these moments, you're trusting this is all working out in your favor somehow. Even though you have no idea how that could be, you're trusting it's working perfectly. Your desires are a done deal. I see that you're already doing that, as you ended your ask mentioning it. So see? You're literally already on the right track!

Start practicing choosing love for yourself more often as well. Most of what you said is truly just judgments on yourself. When we come to the law, we are being asked to practice seeing life through the eye's of God (aka through the eyes of unconditional love). And that includes in how we see ourselves. If our desire is God given, there's nothing wrong with it or you at all. Everything is truly perfect.

Something that has helped me is building trust in myself but also in my desires. Because I know how this world is me pushed out. So therefore, the more I build trust in myself and in my desires, I am only building more and more trust in myself. It's really helped my confidence. Because my desires are just me anyway. I am trusting that my desires are mine. I trust in them. I trust that they will make their way to me, because I am meant for them. Speaking of everyone is you pushed out, I understand it's really difficult and heavy. But try to see your sp doing well. You don't need 3D validation to know how he's doing. You can see him doing well in your mind's eye, as consciousness is the only reality in the first place. The truth is, you have got to practice self-validation more. You don't need him to text you to know that he's in love with you and that he's safe. You get to decide that. You don't need the 3D to validate you, to become validated in how your desires are yours. You seriously get to decide that for yourself. You can validate yourself, right now. The very fact we desire something, is validation it's ours already.

I hope you find this helpful and I hope you begin feeling better soon! Not sure if you ever tried it, but Dylan James' suggestion to do a few 10 minutes meditations during the day as well as a to-do list are truly so helpful. To help you re-stabilize and get back on track when you're ready to. There's really nothing wrong with take some days off to cry and just let it all out when you need to. When you feel ready to get refocused, you'll be coming back stronger than ever. 💖

#sp

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nissakii · 3 years

Text

Anime Quote Time pt.07

We all have expectations in life, we all believe and hope for something or may even have a specific goal in mind to what we want to accomplish. If it's not us, then it's our parents or guardians who might want a good or better life than they had, and we strive everyday to get to a point of happiness we all desire.

But life is a rollercoaster, and sometimes as much as we try to do our best and as much as we work, life doesn't always work out in our favor.

Sometimes we stop at whatever standstill we have come towards and ask ourselves- what am I doing wrong?

That is the exact point of contemplation Hanagaki Takemichi arrives at when he realises that his life has gone off the rails completely.

We look at his tiny apartment that is full of trash and the same cup noodles, scattered dirty magazines and laundry that should've been made a long time ago. Takemichi sits in front of the TV not even thinking too much of his situation until he watches the current news.

His middle school girlfriend, Tachibana Hinata has died in the midst of some sort of gang affiliated accident.

Everything halts, and he starts to rethink his life choices, while he reiterates that all his life Takemichi has done two things:

Run away and apologize.

His problems have made him fear any sort of confrontation, and his adult years are filled with other people stepping on him on every occasion. The regrets he starts to feel that all of his life he has yet to accomplish something he is proud of looms like a dark cloud over his head.

As a young adult, this is a sentiment many can relate to.

Be it with education, academics, working or taking care of others, as a young adult it's hard to break out from the safe shell that school had provided before and jump into the cruel real world. Sometimes we get so invested in the daily life full of hardships, that we forget how deep we are riding ourselves into hopeless situations.

Takemichi, has realised that his life is utterly horrible and the only good memories he had were the ones from middle school which now had the dark truth of his ex-girlfriend’s death looming out of it.

So of course, he thinks to himself:

"I never thought that my life would turn out like this".

What do those words mean for Takemichi?

It means he once had dreams, ideas and expectations on what his future would hold for him.

Maybe it was a certain job, maybe it was stability in financial matters or not being a virgin anymore. Whatever it might have been, his life now as a DVD clerk with thin paper walls and nagging neighbours was not his ideal of life.

In this society that builds heavily on work experience and a common norm that consists of getting a job and earning money quickly, Takemichi much like many other young adults has realised that nothing he does brings him joy.

So he falls into the trap of staying home most of the time, lacking motivation to do anything but eating, working, sleeping and repeating that process.

But what can he change?

In those moments, Takemichi represents many people who believe themselves to have made the wrong decisions. The people that have regrets and blame themselves for not changing what they can when they still had the ability to.

He shows us the reality of a pushover never speaking up for himself, because if he doesn't stand up for himself it seems that no one else would have.

It's a sad truth, but since we know that Takemichi has gotten his chance to go back into his past and was able to see what could've been changed, he makes sure to at least tell Naoto to take care of Hinata so something will hopefully change.

Hoping to at least leave a trail of newly found confidence behind in his dull life.

He even mentions himself that he never had any confidence or strong will back then, wishing to at least give Naoto the chance to change something.

Of course, we can't go back into the past to change our lives around so easily. Life is more complicated than it is in anime.

Still, as shallow as it may sound there is always a way to change at least some aspects of your life that make one unhappy. It may sound ridiculous, but as much as Takemichi can rise up from the ground and take matters into his own hands, so can anyone else with their current life.

Change is something that can come naturally and without any warning, but it can also come from none other than yourself.

And if it doesn’t come from the natural flow of life, it is your sign to take matters into your own hands.

Let this be the push for you to start even the tiniest change in your life that maybe could result in a whole new situation for you.

And who knows? Maybe it will lead to much better endings than we believe.

-Nissa

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yuvon-writes-letters · 3 years

Note

Hey guys :)

Maybe I'm going chronological for one time, so I can sort my thoughts easier.

Yeah, Goldie's much mire active than I would've thought, too. But they did all those things to keep me alive and kind of save, since we still don't know who they are exactly working against. (I mean, we don't know who Goldie exactly is either, but you get my point)

Honestly, I am pretty sure the TSB timeline is continuing, at least if my theory that Goldie just set me back in an alternate timeline is true. In this case I feel sorry for TSB, though..Extremely sorry. He still was 'my' Jake back then, even though he acted weird in the end (maybe was manipulated by entities). I mean, if what he wrote was true he went with authorities. And in the end..this could've been his downfall.

And yeah, maybe I'm not exactly safe, but I just have to go back. If I go, and if I lose my job, I have some things to sort out. And Jake luckily agreed with me that clearing up my desk isn't the worst thing I can do before leaving. We're still thinking about a location, which I could luckily deside myself. Max agreed on that. Even though he still has some doubts. (I mean, of course...His cousin opened the door with bruises all over her face.) He did promise to not ask any questions until I feel ready, though. That gives myself and Jake some time to figure that out.

And also, Jake is right! We have three Jakes and three smart people. YUVON. And of course Goldie, like you said Yu :) And some information about the previous timeline. (And that was it with being chronological)

So yeah, like I said, Max and I'll go. And I also think we can be pretty certain now that the message came from Goldie not the MWAF (which is relieving). I saw the messages and they didn't make Jake the bad guy. I honestly just don't think I can quote them yet. (They're too good, but I probably start daydreaming if I do) But they talk about Jake being an important part of my life and my heart and Max protecting me when he cannot. My dear cousin jumped to conclusions when he saw my bruised face. About Max' phone...I'll probably throw it in a river or something if he brings it with him. I told him not to, also because of Jake (he's not only worried about the MWAF apparently...He didn't exactly say it out loud, but I think it's pretty obvious) but he loves this device.

And I emphasize with you about the being kidnapped thing, you'll manage it, I know it :) And if I need to jump dimensions and box some sense into your Crow-Crew xD

No but for real, you can do that. I know it :)

Jake, find a good point in time to talk to her. But do it :)

Otherwise, I still think the 'underlying desire' theory is a possibility! But, like always in the moment, we could be wrong.

As for my stasis, I really do not wish to talk to more people who think I've been kidnapped. And I am a bit scared that could somehow lead to either them or me being in more danger again. But for now we have to wait.

I for now will pack some important things and paper & pens xD I don't want to leave y'all behind :P

Liska🐾🔥

[A screenshot is glued to the back of the letter and the quick sentence "Jake wants to talk to Jake" is written above]

Hello Jake, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am not quite sure in which way Liska will handle giving you my message, but she promised me to not read it for now.

I don't know whether she told you before or not, but as far as I am concerned she realised I am not only worried about the MWAF chasing her.

With me breaking out of this stasis I am sure that my followers aren't that far behind. And I know you can't do anything from where you are, but cross checking way to protect her doesn't seem to bad to me. Especially since we are similar but still fairly different from each other. At least it seems like that from what I have read.

For my part, I recently improved and updated Nym-OS which allows me access to Liskas whereabouts. If Yuvon should read this, she knows and agrees to it.

Still I am yet stuck on one little detail: I am trying to help Nym-OS in counterattacking. So, even though I am sure you already knoe this yourself, Nym-OS gets the ability to access location of the people attacking Liskas phone. I am almost done with that, so we are able to see a bit easier if and where people are that could be a danger.

Do you have any other ideas for ways I could help? Or even improve what I am doing momentarily. I wouldn't normally ask this since I know and trust my skills, but I think that this is fairly different from a 'normal situation'.

~ Jake

Lis,

Um. I don't know if you've seen the newest person to send in a letter, but we now have an issue.

Jessy, if you're reading this, I was sort of trying to avoid talking about this right away but I'm sort of trapped in a weird place, and Jake's here too because I'm a dumbass. I did not, so you know, let him read your letter or my reply. I figured you wouldn't want that. Sorry for dancing around the issue earlier :/ But at least you can get a good sample of the complete insanity we go through on the regular now!

Yeah... you're getting thrown into the deep end right now, aren't you. Sorry. There's no way to ease into this. You should probably either stop reading these entirely or start reading the letters from the beginning, so this will all at least make some sense. The first letter should start with the words "To whoever reads this," just so you know you get the right one.

Back to you, Lis. Yeah, I feel pretty bad for TSB Jake too. I honestly can't imagine being in his position right now.

Alright. So, you can choose the place. Great! There's way less chance of you being caught that way...

Tragedies just seem to be happening to all us Duskwood detectives, recently, don't they? Rai is chronically overworked and barely has time to sleep, I'm stuck in this hellhole and I've been forgotten by most everyone, you were shot, and poor Matt died and... well.

I never knew him, but I feel really bad for him :(

You could give Max half the truth. Tell him you have a stalker, and he's starting to get physical. Jake has been trying to help you get away from the asshole. It's not even a lie, just... not the full truth. Because. You know. The whole truth is completely fucking insane.

Writing to Jessy just put into perspective how insane everything is, I think. Gimme a sec.

Oh, fuck. My Jessy just texted me. Great timing.

Jeez that whole thing with me leaving myself out was just a joke XD If I knew you and Jake would take it so seriously, I'd never have said anything. I'll steer clear from now on.

Yeah, okay, definitely Goldie. That makes way more sense. I don't think you have to be quite so drastic as destroying the phone. Just get him to leave it at home for the trip.

Ahaha, thanks. I don't think that's necessary, though. Actually, seeing future!Jessy's perspective has caused a bit of a paradigm shift. I think I might need to reconsider what all to tell and not to tell the Crow Crew. I just sort of default to keeping things secret, now, but you've seen how well that worked for me with you and Rai, and with Jake.

Again, you probably should wait for them to contact you first, but you WILL need to talk to them when that happens. What you say to them and what you don't is up to you.

Pack a couple different pens XD We're all a bit long-winded.

That's all from me :)

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hallo, Lis.

Yuvon refuses to tell me what precisely she means about Jessica. Was she somehow contacted by an alternate version of Jessica? If so, how?

I am glad it was Goldie who contacted Max. Yuvon's suggestion for an excuse seems a good one, as there are far less things to remember that way. You simply need to oversimplify everything.

I do not, unfortunately, entirely believe that Yuvon was joking when she made that comment, based on previous comments and her ongoing guilt. I can't understand sometimes why she feels the need to lie so much. It is difficult for me to read people, much less her.

I will speak to her eventually. Early tomorrow, perhaps, if nothing else rears its head. Yuvon looks tired, and I am also admittedly not at my peak. I sincerely hope she does not wake up as early as she does every single day. It may get somewhat taxing, what with the lack of coffee here.

I think that is all from me to you, Lis. If you would kindly find a way to send the next section to my counterpart without looking at it, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you :)

—Jake and Yuvon

Jake,

It is a pleasure to meet you as well, despite the unusual circumstances.

That our pursuers may be freed from the stasis is a logical conclusion. Seeing as the last known location I had on them in my universe was approximately five hundred miles from Duskwood, they will likely be some of the first to free themselves from the stasis. I do not believe I need to warn you that time is of the essence.

It seems as if I am a small distance ahead of you in the development of countermeasures, perhaps because I have had more linear time to develop them. If you are where I think you are at in the development, you likely have or will soon hit a bug you cannot pin down that makes the pinpointing mechanism simply refuse to work at all. Presuming your and my version of NYM-0S are similar enough, the issue should lie in the public bool set in line 132 of the third part of the targeting script, the script that decides what constitutes a target; you have it defaulted to "false" where it should default to "true".

As for additional countermeasures: I was attempting to work on a rudimentary automated system of pattern detection when I was brought here. Essentially, its function would be such that it would be able to triangulate using the locator features already installed to find a rough estimate of where their headquarters might be. However, I have not found any way thus far to eliminate outliers, and as such the feature is currently next to useless. I am no longer able to work on the code, but perhaps you will have more luck than I did.

That is all I can think of for the moment on that subject. However, I have an odd theory on what may be part of the reason we vary so. If you have a moment to spare, please answer me this:

When I was very young, back when Mother was still around, she took me to a doctor for odd behaviors. This included not looking people in the eyes, but there was a list. I was given a diagnosis; if you had the same experience, you should likely know which one.

Did you have this experience? If so, please prove it by stating what the diagnosis was.

Do not worry if you do not know what I am talking about; I would rather you did not guess. Simply state that you don't know. It will confirm my theory.

Good luck with your pursuers.

—Jake

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

#duskwood letter game #yuvon writes letters #duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #lis #this isn't precisely a puzzle #it's a genuine question on jake's end #you aren't expected to answer unless your jake is the same

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ma-gic-gay · 3 years

Note

So this is a new one of these and the other one is probably over so yeah

It's a weird Christmas.

It marks a year since anyone last saw Sonny, a year since Julian's death, and a year full of drama, as one would expect.

Michael and Willow had had another child, a girl this time. Her name was Ophelia and Wiley loved being a big brother to her. The pair had also burned their annulment papers when they'd realized she was pregnant and finally admitted their feelings for each other. Watching them together had probably been the highlight of the year for their family.

Sam had started hooking up with Dante much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. It had started as a few random hookups but changed quickly into an actual relationship, testing several familial bonds.

Luckily, that disaster on wheels had been halted when Lulu had woken up from her coma. Lulu and Dante got back together and fell in love, again.

Sasha and Brando had formed a relationship as well, which was quite a surprise at first glance but made sense after a few weeks.

"Carly? You okay?" Jason asks. Surprisingly enough, she hadn't completely broke down yet, or ran away. The furthest she'd ran was the island and even then, it was only a few hours no one knew where she was, since he couldn't teleport and it took that long to get to the island.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," she responds, faking a smile.

"Tell that to the tears in your eyes and obviously fake smile," he says to her. "What are you thinking about?"

"It's been a year since any of us have heard from Sonny. For all we know, he's dead. Hell, he probably is. I know I should give up and just agree to a funeral, but it feels wrong to do that without a body," Carly sighs, head in her hands in an effort to hide her tears. "It feels wrong for him to not be here. Last Christmas, we were convinced he'd be home by now and now it's like we've all resigned ourselves to him being dead."

"If it doesn't feel right to have a funeral, don't have one. I've known you for a long time, and your instincts are right a lot of the time. Just because Sonny's not confirmed dead doesn't mean he's not," Jason frowns, putting his arm around her and rubbing circles along her back.

Sonny's "death" meant he had to step up in more ways than one. This had marked the year of Jason running the mob, which he'd practically been doing before but was actually doing now. He'd also had to become sort of a surrogate husband to Carly to the point he practically lives there by now. The kids hadn't questioned it; they'd asked a few times if there was anything going on there but after getting a firm no there hadn't been anything else from them in forms of questioning their relationship status. It was what it was and that was the same friendship they'd always had.

There had been times even Danny had questioned why they were at that house so much, to the point he once asked Carly if they were together or not.

You know it's reaching an odd point when a twelve year old is asking if you're in love with your best friend.

Of course, they didn't take into consideration the fact the whole town thought they were together. Again. Everyone had assumed, based off of how much time they'd been spending together- surprisingly more than normal- and the fact that he'd all but moved into the house that they were together.

That was a fun one to realize when he'd gotten shot and everyone had assured her that her boyfriend would be fine.

It just wasn't happening, they were friends. Anything more could complicate it and complicated almost always meant that there would be fights they couldn't go to each other to uncomplicate.

"I know that, but I just don't want to live knowing that there's a chance he could be alive somewhere and he's been kidnapped or forgotten his name or something. It's like I'm stuck in this neverending circle where there's barely any hope but I can't pretend there's none either. Sometimes, I wish that the police would show up with a body and I would have to confirm that yes, he is dead, just so that I could get out of this loop," Carly sobs. "And then I feel terrible for wishing he was dead because I love him, you know, but then at the same time, I can't help but feel like I need closure."

"That's not a bad thing, to need closure. None of us get any closure when it comes to this, Carly. You're not a bad person for wanting some," he reminds her. "You've been grieving for a year a man you don't even know for sure is dead. It doesn't make you bad to want to have something definite."

"But wanting my husband dead? That's dark," she argues with him.

"You want to know if he's dead or alive, something to confirm what's happened to him. I hate to break it to you but you don't qualify as a terrible person," Jason chuckles. "You've never killed someone, never hurt a kid."

"I shot a dude in open court, I almost killed AJ. I've done a lot of questionable things in my life, Jason," Carly fights back.

She's not wrong, persay, but she's not right. "That stuff doesn't make you a bad person. Morally grey? Yes. Bad? No. You do what you think is best and you're impulsive. If something's not going your way, you'll tip the scales. It's just how you are. None of that makes you a bad person. Some people might not like it, but you've never killed someone or hurt a kid, so in my book you're a good person."

Carly's head comes out of her hands for a minute and he smiles, wiping away the tears. "Well you're not a bad person either. You'd never hurt a kid and you only kill in self defense or if the person's really bad and threatening someone you care about. It's not like you wake up and go kill someone for shits and giggles. You mourn the people you kill and feel bad about it. Only a purely horrible person wouldn't feel bad about their murders."

"Neither of us are bad people, let's just agree on that at least."

"Fine," she relents finally. That only took a year. "I miss Sonny. Especially this time of year. Last year, he read Donna and Avery the Grinch and he had the world's worst Grinch voice. I practically begged him to read another book because of how bad it was. But this year, I wish he would be able to read it to them."

"I miss him too," Jason admits. "It's been a hell of a year without him."

"That it has. So much has changed," she agrees with him, shifting her position on the couch so she's lying her head on his lap.

That's probably why the kids thought they were dating.

He plays with her hair as she laughs, remembering some obscure detail about his telling of the Grinch and decorating for Christmas.

Scratch that, this is definitely why everyone thinks they're together.

"Hey Mom, Jason," Joss greets them, coming in from the kitchen. "I'm going to Trina's. Donna's with Ophelia at the Quartermaine's and Avery's with Ava."

"Alright sweetie, have fun," Carly bids her daughter goodbye, sighing. "Why is she so adult now? I mean, I can remember when she was born and it feels like yesterday. Hell, Michael's birth feels like yesterday. And they're both so grown up."

"Time flies when you're having fun," he answers.

"Where'd you get that? A throw pillow or some advice of my mother's?"

"A card someone sent me back when I was in the hospital. Needless to say, that card got tossed in the trash as soon as you'd let me stand up to go to the trash."

"Who the hell sent that to you of all people?"

"No clue. It didn't have a name attached."

"Huh. Well, it's a terrible expression. Too throw pillow. The real answer would be that we're aging, sadly," Carly sighs again, equally as dramatic. "Granted, I still look like I'm 27, but somehow I've aged."

"Age is but a number."

"You sound like a Hallmark card."

"Rude."

"You do!"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm aging as well. You're not in this whole getting old thing alone. Provided, of course, that you agree to age," he smirks.

"I don't have anything better to do, sadly, so I suppose I'll agree to getting older. But I refuse to have a gray hair."

"Then go to the salon when you notice one and dye your hair."

"I plan on it," the blonde smiles at him before changing the topic. "Do you think we're weird?"

"That came out of nowhere."

"Answer the question."

"No?"

"That sounded like a question."

"Carly, how am I supposed to answer this one? I don't know, maybe?" Jason says, though most of it comes out as a question.

"Well, I mean, think of it. Sonny's been presumed dead for a year. You've been in charge of the business and been there for all of us in more ways than I can count. Seriously, I think Donna sees you as a father," Carly chuckles. "And you've listened to me crying and losing it. Hell, you spent a month and a half at the island just so I wouldn't be alone."

"Hey, you're family. I was happy to do all of those things. Besides, you wouldn't leave my side when I got shot. Or for a very long month after that," he jokes.

"I know but you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to step up and parent the kids. You already had Danny and Scout and the breakup with Sam to deal with, that's a lot at once. Not to mention, taking over the business and grieving Sonny. And dealing with me. All at the same time," she smiles. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but you had no obligation to do any of that."

"Carly, do you think I'd be here right now if I didn't want to? You know me better than that. I love you and the kids and want to be there for all of you. So far, I've only gotten shot once and that was unrelated, so I'd consider this a pretty good experience."

The blonde scoffs at him and he chuckles. "Not funny. You could've died."

Rolling his eyes, he reminds her, "I didn't."

"Well you're not allowed to get shot for a long time."

"I'll take getting shot off of my to do list."

"Don't you dare joke about this!"

"Alright. Look at me. I'm not going to die anytime soon. I promise. It takes a lot more than a measly bullet to kill me, after all. Not even Russian madmen could do it," he says seriously.

"Good. Because if you do that to me again, I'll have no choice but to resign myself to a life in either prison or Ferncliff," she says half seriously, getting a laugh out of Jason.

It's not entirely unrealistic she'd end up in one of those positions, especially given that it's already happened. Repeatedly.

Maybe there's a sign she should stop doing dangerous things.

Almost as though she's being told to by something inside her, Carly connects her lips with his.

to be continued

why do i get myself into these things smh

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