I just followed you but now that you said you think Spider-Man is bi I think I gotta unfollow sorry

this is so funny what did you expect me to say. did u not read my url when u followed

well have you considered that maybe the unstoppable force is in love with the immovable object

the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight

i mean this in the best way possible, i believe if you were a salad you'd just be a kilogram of lettuce leaves and 1 paper thin cucumber slice hidden somewhere in the middle

next time just slit me open from throat to taint

today's bird is this green heron inspecting a bug

A satirical papyrus showing a lady mouse being served wine by a cat while another cat dresses her hair, a third cares for her baby, and a fourth fans her. The mice have hilarious huge, round ears.

Where: Egyptian Museum Cairo

When: New Kingdom

having my evening cucumber

I offered a portion to this large and mannerly horse

Can I please have a cappuccino but with oat milk and a big pump of sugarfree chocolate syrup and... Lol I remember your stupid ass from 2,300 years ago. We were living in seleucis on the tigris river during the same span of summers... do you rememver a red ibis bird with beautiful plumes? Yeah U were a sort of dull brown goat that didn't train and dint make milk or kids. Yeah? No? Eventually the Zoroastrian homesteaders who owned you started feeding you contaminated barley to try and kill you lol. Maybe you remember the ergotism? Anyway. also I want one of these 🫵stupid little breads in the case

Good morning. This is the best fic comment I have ever received.

Yknow the thing where red pandas just lay down on a branch and let their legs hang and they’re just like vibing

the mining dwarfer seems to pick his axe at night

“imagine there’s no countries” fuck off john lennon how are we supposed to play the world cup without countries you ultimate scum