#(once again I am in a fandom with a character whose name I have to misspell to make it easier for me to find my own tags later)
Note
Drabble challenge, Cemeteries of Amalo, either 33 or 61! (love, celebros)
(Omg, how did you know that sending me a Tumblr prompt is THE way to get me to write for a new fandom? Works every time, even though the words got away from me and this is far too long to be considered a drabble. Anyway, have some Thara and Iäna shenanigans. Prompt list here).
“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”
"We beg your pardon?"
Oh, damn. "I ought to beg yours," I said, tearing my eyes away from the disaster on my office floor to fix them on the far more pleasant sight of Thara Celehar. "Cursing at a prelate. What must you think of my filthy mouth?"
From the blush climbing to the tips of his ears, I imagined his thoughts strayed in the same direction mine did. Filthy mouth indeed, Iäna, I could almost hear him say, 'tis thy mind that needs cleaning. I'd startled him into formality, though, and would have to work for the privilege of intimacies, spoken or otherwise.
"I thought you were Thoramis," I explained. "He left to fetch tea, but in truth I think he wished to distance himself from...all of this." I offered a sweeping gesture to encompass all of it: the scattered papers, the ink spots on my favorite shirt, my snappish mood. I had perhaps shouted a bit more than was reasonable when the incident occurred, and did not blame anyone for wishing to stay away.
Thara stepped closer. "What happened? Did inspiration strike?" I supposed the chaos in front of me could look like the throes of creative genius, if one looked at it from a certain angle. Sheets of paper covered in writing fanned out from where I knelt. I'd gathered them into loose piles, but the process of sorting them out had only made the mess more pronounced.
I sighed. "Something more sinister, I'm afraid. The window was not as firmly latched as I could have wished, and now a breeze has made a shambles of my new opera."
“Oh dear.” He surveyed the scene anew. “I don’t suppose you numbered the pages?”
“Nothing so convenient.” I hadn’t even made a clean copy yet.
“And your pen lacked the decency to leave a distinctive blot behind.” He picked his way through the farthest-flung pages, occasionally pausing to pick one up, and lowered himself to the floor across from me. “We’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way.”
“We?” Now I was the one surprised, and warmed by a kinder emotion than my previous anger. “Thank thee, Thara, truly, but,” I hesitated, seeing his color rise again. I’d dropped into the intimate form of speech without meaning to; so much for my delicate dance around his feelings. “But canst not read music, canst thou? And know’st not what order the story goes in.”
Undeterred, Thara spread his handful of pages in a clear space. “Then you’ll have to tell me about it as we go, and check the musical notation yourself. Now,” he held a page out to me, “who is this ‘Tamoro’ and why is her heart ‘broken beyond mending’?”
And so I found myself spending the evening on the floor of my office, regaling Thara with the tale of a doomed love affair between a noblewoman and her father’s bodyguard while the two of us attempted to piece my opera back together. He gave the task the same attention and care he showed in his witnessing: insightful questions, delicate hands smoothing a creased corner. I found my own attention wandering more than once, watching him. Even so, what had seemed an insurmountable task gradually shaped itself into a manageable one.
“Thou’rt a wonder,” I told him, as he set the last page of Act Two in place.
“Me?” Thara shook his head. “I’m not the one who wrote an opera!”
“No, but shouldst give thyself credit for saving one. Or at least its composer’s composure.” Oh, that was a good line. I made a note to save it for a future opera, then returned to the matter at hand. “Truly, Thara. Allow me to thank thee for all thy help. Art hungry?” The hour had grown late, but the Torivontaram would still be open. Or any number of places; it mattered not where we went, only that I not let this time with my prickly prelate pass sooner than it must.
Presumest much, Iäna. Canst lay no claim to him, however much thou desirest. This time it was my own good sense talking.
Unaware of my selfish wishes, Thara considered. “I…could eat,” he ventured, “but you don’t have to—”
“I want to,” I said, impulsively reaching across the space between us to lay a hand on top of his. He froze, and I did too; my large hand over his smaller one, resting on the stack of paper that represented our evening’s work. There was something poetic in that, but I lacked the presence of mind to put words to it. “Please,” I whispered, “Thou didst not have to help me either, but didst anyway. At least let me feed thee.” Even if that is all thou wilt allow me to do for thee, when thou deservest everything. I left those words unspoken, but he must have read some of them anyway. As I waited for his answer, his ears turned pink, gaze still locked on our hands.
“All right,” he said at last, voice so low I almost missed it. “Take me to dinner. After telling me an entire opera, you must be hungry and thirsty as well.” He slid his hand from under mine and stood, then reached out to help me to my feet. “And…Iäna?”
“Yes?” He hadn’t let go of my hands. I wasn’t going to let go either, though I surely should.
The smallest of smiles played over his lips. “Needst not beg my pardon for thy filthy mouth. I’m rather fond of it.”
#my writing#cemeteries of amalo#(oh yeah THAT'S the name of this series lol)#thara celehar#iana pel thenhior#(once again I am in a fandom with a character whose name I have to misspell to make it easier for me to find my own tags later)#sorry Iäna#will probably stash this on ao3 later but for now I'm lazy#ask memes#replies
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Hey guys, we need to talk. Because a certain little something in TMAGP 8 is causing what is genuinely the most toxic part of the Magpod fandom at large to once again rear its ugly head.
So let's talk about podcast character appearance head canons, shall we?
I'm tagging this with the Magnus Archives, TMA and Magpod tags because I am absolutely calling all of you out, but if you don't want spoilers for The Magnus Protocol episode 8 then stop reading right now.
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Okay, so, Gerry exists in the TMAGP universe. He's happy (or at least acts cheerful). And some people have headcanoned this to mean that he is no longer goth, or at the very least isn't dying his hair black with bad box color.
And other people have decided to get seriously agro over this. I have literally seen with my very own eyeballs someone call "un-gothing" Gerry a "hate crime" and calling the person they were talking to "gothphobic."
Let me make this absolutely clear for all of you: podcasts are a purely audio medium and unless a physical trait of theirs is explicitely stated, everyone's headcanon for how a character appears is valid.
Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid.
But also
Rainbow Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid.
Pastel Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid.
Not Goth At All TMAGP Gerry is valid.
Bald Gerry who has actually gotten his brain cancer diagnosed in time and is getting treated for it is valid.
Somebody's headcanon of a character that has no canonical description to them, or whose headcanon matches the few crumbs of canonical description we have but otherwise doesn't look the way you imagine them to, is not going to take away from your own headcanon of what a character looks like. If someone imagining or drawing a character looking a different way from how you imagine them looking somehow takes away from your enjoyment of the fandom or otherwise makes you feel like you need to barge in and tell them that they're Wrong and need to conform to your headcanon or else, that is a reflection on you, not them.
And this problem way predates TMAGP, let alone TMAGP 8.
The only description we have of John is that he is in his early 30's and has prematurely greying hair.
If someone thinks he looks like the pastiest motherfucker to ever dwell in a basement, an extra-in-the-Adam's Family or Tim Burtan protagonist of a man, let them.
What's that? You want to tell them that John is BROWN and if they don't headcanon him looking that way they're WRONG and RACIST? Back away from the keyboard and go outside.
(Ironically, as someone who started getting grey hairs in my hair in my 20's myself, I'm pretty sure everyone's headcanon of John, with tiny little whisps of grey in his hair, is wrong, because if he was so grey that people were surprised to learn he was "a child of the 90's," he was probably full on salt-and-pepper when he was in his 20's.)
The only description we have for Martin is that he (man who canonically has the self esteem of a used doormat) describes himself as "not the smallest guy", Not-Sasha called him "roomy", Melanie is skinner than him, and Jonny said he imagined him as a "bigger guy" who would beat Alex in a physical fight.
If someone decides to take this information and conclude that it means he's tall, broad and has muscle, rather than that he's overweight, fucking let them.
If your first instinct to this is to run to your keyboard and call them "fatphobic" or otherwise bash them for it, I once again urge you to back away from your keyboard and go outside.
Someone headcanons Basira not wearing a headscarf? We have exactly 0 canonical physical description of her and the people who headcanon her as having one are basing that purely off of her name alone. Fucking let them.
Someone headcanons Melanie and/ or Georgie as a skin color you don't agree with or a hairstyle you don't like? Fucking let them.
As long as someone's headcanon of a character's description doesn't contradict the few canonical descriptions we have of a character, why do you care? Them having a different headcanon from you doesn't take away your right to imagine the characters looking however you like, anymore than it should take away their right to do the same. Someone headcanoning John as white (or Black, or Asian, or Mixed, or whatever) isn't going to make all of the fanart of John as brown with long hair suddenly disappear, nor the fanfiction describing him as such (although I do often wonder if the opposite is not true; is the fact that John looks the same in so much of the fanart I see on here really because of fandom "consensus", or is it because people are absolutely awful to anyone who draws him Different?). Someone headcanoning Martin as not fat isn't going to make the mountains of fanart of him as a fluffy little marshmallow vanish into the void (although I do remember hearing about someone getting bullied off the internet for daring to draw Martin as not fat). And someone headcanoning Gerry in TMAGP as not being goth isn't going to take away your preciouse goth TMAGP Gerry headcanon.
That should be part of the fun of it, shouldn't it? Seeing what different images people have conjured in their heads of these characters we only get to experience with our ears, and celebrating the differences as well as the similarities? Why are we bullying people into conforming to one appearance of a character when no actual canonical appearance of them exists?
#the magnus archives#tma#the magnus protocol#the magnus protocol spoilers#tmp#tmp spoilers#tmapg#tmagp spoilers#magpod
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TW ANTISEMITISM. THERE WILL BE DEPICTIONS OF ANTISEMITIC ARTWORK AND TEXT IN THIS POST.
Okay so, this is not the kind of post I normally make, ever, nor a sort of post I ever wanted to make. But this is an incredibly important issue that goes beyond fandom stuff, and I've talked with a few other people about it to confirm that it is something concerning.
I want to start by saying that I am not Jewish, but I know that you should never let antisemitism get its foot in the door. (If anyone who reads this is Jewish and needs to correct me on anything, please do so immediately.)
This was posted to the tags yesterday:
[ID: A screenshot of a post from @/liu4ka. The caption at the top reads "well he looks at me / and i look at him / and then he smiles" in very small, stylized text. The image below is artwork of Otto, facing right, with his eyes squinted and his mouth in a skewed, toothy grin, with his hands held up in a strange way. /end ID]
This picture looks perfectly fine at first glance... but the thing is, that caption you see there was not the original caption. I managed to get a screenshot of it before it was changed, and the original caption was this:
[ID: A screenshot of the original caption of the above post, which reads "well he looks at me / and i look at him / and then he smiles like sly jew" /end ID]
That's... a weird way to describe a smile. I'd wondered if this was referencing something, and apparently the first two lines are lyrics from a Weird Al song, but the third line is definitely not. That was making alarm bells ring in my mind, along with the pose Otto was in (which I'll explain in a moment).
Still, I wanted to give this user the benefit of a doubt, because it's entirely possible to unknowingly say something that sounds Bad. So I looked at their other account on VK (which is a Russian website that is, as I understand it, similar to Facebook--they have the same name there and post some of the same art). It didn't take me long before I found... this (photo taken with the google translate app). (I hate sharing this, but I need to show proof here):
[ID: A photo of a computer screen taken from the Google Translate app. It features a character facing right, with their eyes narrowed and with a toothy grin on their face and their hands clasped in a specific way in reference to the "happy merchant" Nazi meme. The caption reads "SCARY JEWISH MUSIC PLAYS." /end ID]
It's not in the screenshot here, but the post this was in also had a song linked with it whose title directly referenced the "happy merchant" meme.
If you're not familiar with that meme, please look it up, as I'm NOT comfortable putting that image on my blog. But it's an image people should be familiar with because it is VERY FREQUENTLY referenced by white supremacists and nazis, and that's what's being referenced here.
Obviously not every single piece of art with a character giving a sly look is going to be a reference to that meme, but CONTEXT is important. The Otto image isn't posed exactly like the meme--the hands are not the same--but alongside the original caption AND given the other art this same artist has drawn, I don't think there's any room for doubt here.
What also doesn't help the case is that there was misinformation going around that Otto was canonically Jewish, so I don't think any of this is coincidental.
I feel awful writing this stuff up. I never wanted to make a post like this, but this was a case where I felt like I should not remain quiet. Once again, this is something that goes beyond fandom. Antisemitism is not something you ever, EVER want let through the door, ANYWHERE. I do not want it in this community, and you shouldn't either.
If any member of the Jewish community wants to correct me on anything or add to this, please do so.
Thank you.
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Writing Jewish Characters (what not to do, according to one jewish gal on discord) (a probably incomplete list):
(For reference, because I say it a few times: goyische = not Jewish, or relating to non-Jewish things/culture/etc)
Preface:
Many of these are things that some Jews do irl for various personal reasons, and that is 1000% valid and fine!! This is in no way dragging any Jew’s life choices whatsoever. When it comes to representation, there is a huge skew in one direction: the Jew-ish, bacon cheeseburger-loving, Xmas-celebrating, modern Jew whose nagging, kvetching Jewish family comes up for a special holiday or life event episode and is never heard from again. The implication is that Jewish traditions don’t fit modern people/society and that a non-Jewish audience can’t connect with a Jewish character who remains close to their cultural roots. All that to say, this piece is all about representation, not necessarily irl accuracy.
Primer:
Jewish characters don’t have to be “religious,” and definitely not in the way you might conceive of a religious Xtian character. But being an irreligious Jew doesn't inherently mean they won't follow any Jewish rituals or holidays. It’s a culture as much as it is a religion, and there are a million reasons an atheist Jew (not an oxymoron!) might follow any of these rituals/rules, including but not limited to cultural heritage, community, and religious family/friends <3
Eating treif (aka never-kosher food like pork and shellfish):
They don’t have to keep kosher (altho that would be a very welcome change just one (1) time ksdjg), just don’t make them actively not kosher. I know it feels super innocuous to talk about Erik Lensherr grabbing a bacon egg and cheese from the bodega, but it sticks out to me every time because it is, in itself, a statement. If that's a statement you want to be making, think about why. What are you trying to add to this Jewish character by giving him bacon, or shrimp, or a cheeseburger, etc etc. And is it something you think is a positive addition, or is the implication just that not eating bacon is silly, or outdated, or only something super duper religious Jews could ever want to do? If so, maybe skip the shrimp. It’s a tiny thing that can really make a big difference.
True bonus points: actively have the character keep a semblance of kosher. A simple, 2-second choice for a character to turn down a bite of their coworker’s pork fried rice because they’re Jewish feels SO NICE to read in an ocean of Jewish characters eating treif.
A lot of media codes Jewish characters by drawing attention to the fact that they’re eating bacon, even though they “shouldn’t.” Very little media codes Jews by having them leave the cheese off their burger.
(And if you do write them eating non-kosher, a friendly reminder that Jews who don’t keep kosher don’t think about how disappointed their mother would be everytime they bite into a piece of bacon. They just eat it lol.)
Interfaith parents/“half-Jews”:
I feel it necessary to reassure with this one in particular that there is nothing wrong with this, and both matrilineal and patrilineal Jews deserve representation. This is common enough irl and if they identify with the Jewish side of their heritage to consider themselves Jewish, that’s great! Variety is the spice of life. Once again, I want to emphasize that I am not making any judgments on irl Jews in any of these complaints.
This is only up for representation discussion because this feels like another trend in media and fandom, where it seems like one parent is Certified Not Jewish™️ almost as an excuse to…have Jewish characters not have to be Jewish except in name. Interfaith families are almost always shown mainly celebrating Xtian holidays, with a tiny nod to Judaism: agiant Xmas tree with a menorah to the side, or an Easter episode with a throwaway mention of Passover (if anything). Mainstream media especially will do either this, or have both parents be Jewish and the main character be such a ~disappointment~ to their parents for being less so, and of course falling into lots of icky stereotypes along the way.
Basically just, don’t not write interfaith characters, but be careful with them. Please don’t use interfaith characters as your reason excuse to let them do the Goyische Stuff, like celebrating Xmas. And speaking of…
Christmas (derogatory):
My opinion on Jewish characters celebrating Xmas, my prayer hands and shameless begging, is just…please don’t do it. I get it, plenty of irl Jews participate in Xmas activities or even celebrate it with their friends and extended families, that’s fine, absolutely no judgment. But without getting into the whole shebang of christian hegemony and the myth of secular Christmas, that’s already EVERYWHERE. Almost every tv show, every movie that has Xmas in it, if there’s a Jewish character, there’s a solid 98% chance they celebrate Xmas too. Maybe even LOVE it. Maybe there’s even a confused goyische friend going, “aren’t you Jewish?” and the Xmas-loving Jew happily informs them why that doesn’t matter, or how actually only their dad is Jewish (and he loves Xmas too so woo!) so they get to do the whole Xmas shebang and maybe have a lil menorah off to the side for the token representation.
Jews who participate in or celebrate Xmas exist, but this is a reminder that those who don’t also exist, and they are not remotely uncommon. And we don’t feel deprived for not having had Xmas, I promise. Go against the grain! For lols you can even have your Jewish character be half clueless about Xmas traditions because he never had them! Ben Grimm who has no idea what a garland is and at this point he’s too afraid to ask. There’s so much you can do with it and have fun with in a way that still keeps your Jewish blorbo unassimilated <3
There Was Only One Jew:
Most content has one (1) Jew and that’s that. It’s almost like there’s a rule that there can only be one (1) Jew per friend group. If you have more than one Jewish character, then slay! More Jews are always welcome, and the more you have, the more leeway there is, imo. It feels less egregious for, e.g., a Jewish character to loooooove shrimp if you’ve got another in the story who’s never touched it in his life and never plans to. (Although, when deciding which characters to do this with, consider making the more observant one your main, instead of relegating them to the background and/or parental characters.)
In Summary…
Thanks for reading!! There’s no one way to write Jewish characters, but I hope this helped give you something to think about! I’m always happy to answer questions if you want to learn more. You can also check out the Jewish and Judaism tags on the Writing With Color blog if you want to hear opinions from other Jews. (Not affiliated, just love their blog, haha!) These are just my thoughts on these things after reading a lot of Jewish characters (canon or headcanoned) in fic. 😊
B’hatzlacha! <3
#writing tips#jewish representation#writing jewish characters#jumblr#judaism#writblr#writing#representation#writing resource#jewish characters
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On the People of the Third City, and the power of transformative fandom
Warning: self-indulgent rambling, reflection, and hope for writing spurred by the desire for writing that is not present.
I'd been an amateur scholar when it came to Mesoamerican history: just enough to know how much I didn't know. I knew the Third City was Mesoamerican, though I knew not where. I believed, as many, that it referring to a city called Hopelchen (nevermind that Hopelchen was named several centuries after the Third City was supposed to have fallen, and that it was only proposed as a candidate because of the "five wells" sidebar snippet). I personally have interpreted it as Chichen Itza in the past, but I have also heard compelling arguments for Tikal and even perhaps a pre-Nahautl Teotihuacan (and to this day, I still find it amusing, in a frustrating way, how much we know the identities of the Second and Fourth Cities and yet the Third, the one New World city, is still the subject of debate). I knew it was associated with the God-Eaters, and the story of Seeking Mr Eaten's Name.
But as a fan, this was the text that grabbed me first and foremost about the Third City:
Rebels who will not rise
The revolutionaries of the Third City sleep here, fifty-five of them. They would have made their republics in the tomb-colonies. It was not permitted. Their enemies must have hated them, to lay them here to rest where they would never be remembered
- The Catafalquerie, Cave of the Nadir
From this text, interest: what were the revolutionaries of previous Fallen Cities like?
And then, 2016: Election 1894, the first of it's kind. If you chose to back the Jovial Contrarian - and as a revolutionary character, of course Hotshot did - you could choose a Reactionary Tomb-Colonist as your free item for the election. And if you did...
Something old
His bandages run black with ink. Words are scrawled over his wrappings, like the husks of spiders. Not all of it is English. Giddily, he points out choice fragments – "Here, the schematics for a Fourth City catapult we never got to use. This one's the lessons we learned from the Galleries. And here – everything the Contrarian has ever published. I have made a study. This time, for sure." Between the bandages, his dessicated eyes smoulder like spent coals. "Things shall be as they were once and should be again."
Words not all in English? Mentions of the Fourth City weapon "we never got to use"? Evidence on how old this colonist was?
In retrospect, the text was more likely just referring to an old tomb-colonist of the Fifth City. But at the time, to me, it felt like it could point to something else: a rebel who escaped the fate of his colleagues, a revolutionary who continued to fight the Masters and the God-Eaters even long after his city was submerged into lacre.
And from this, Itza Matul was born.
I share the sentiment that the Third City, in canon writing, is almost entirely tied to the God Eaters and Seeking like an albatross around it's neck. What little we get of the one New World city in the Neath, a city from a place whose peoples were horrifically genocided and colonized and thus from which we have enormous holes and gaps in the histories, and it always seems to be related to this one story of betrayal, sacrifice, hunger, and monstrous priest-kings.
I am still not impressed with the idea that the one example of a tomb-republic we have in lore, the same kind of republic as mentioned in the text above, is Tanah-Chook. A Third City tomb-republic, named after a fictional English character whose creator backed at a high enough kickstarter tier.
I have tried my hand at alternatives, using what Yucatec dictionaries and sources I could find that seemed at all reliable for tomb-colony names, people's names, an equivalent to "free citizen". I have tried light speculation on what it might have been like for the people of the Third City, what kind of Neath they might have lived in, how the survivors have adapted as their City was drowned and their peoples displaced and the eventual realization that on the Surface, the place they once called home was overrun centuries later by the colonial empires of Europe. It is not sufficient, but it was what I could contribute.
And all of this is to say...you can do that too. It may not be canon. But it can be something beyond canon. To write in a version of the Neath where the Third City is more than the God-Eaters and the Betrayal, where people lived and struggled as more than just fearful subjects to a monstrous priesthood. And if in the effort to do it justice, you are driven to read more, learn more about the people whose descendants still live in the world, realize how much has been lost and yet how much has not been lost...
I have never regretted realizing I wanted to know more.
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thinking about the marks we see on Izzy.
x tattoo
swallow tattoo
spade tattoo
back scars
forehead scar
we don't even see his (bare) leg post-amputation and i think that's significant. izzy is a character who is covered up - he has one glove on at all times, always with his cravat on, even when we finally see him shirtless he has the unicorn leg on and from a narrative perspective he is not exposed. yes he gives away hints of deeper feelings when he asks what ed said about him specifically but that's it.
i feel like it's significant that what the marks we see on this character are deliberate, intentional marks that relate somehow to piracy/ed/blackbeard.
the x tattoo - ed signs his name with an X. Does that mean he was the one who tattooed izzy/that is why izzy has this as a tattoo? No, canon never confirms the origin of the tattoo. (as far as I remember anyway) but it's a deliberate choice that we're meant to notice. it could be interpreted that izzy is ed's, simple as that , or it could be that izzy is dedicated to ed without knowing the true meaning of who ed is, seeing as it's not even his name, or it could be interpreted as izzy is loyal to whatever version of ed that ed decides to finally be.
the swallow tattoo - again nothing confirmed in canon, but we do know it's a sign of sailing 5000 nautical miles AND ed has a matching tattoo. it could just be a coincidence and no doubt was a common tattoo for sailors/pirates, but izzy has so few tattoos i think this is another sign that we are meant to interpret.
the spade tattoo - it's never focused on at all in the show. historically i believe it was meant to be a bad luck symbol, ensuring the bearer would be killed/buried at sea. izzy thinks the only retirement for pirates is death. dedication to a life of piracy perhaps? or intended as a sign he will die being a pirate and not betraying his peers and testify against them for the sake of a pardon, like a lot of pirates (and the historical izzy hands) did.
back scars - never commented on and hardly seen. possibly due to the lack of time the writers had in season 2, but also very in character for izzy: there's a lot of history to him and to him and ed that we don't get to see. we don't know what the scars are from - lashings, a whip, but we don't know the why. and ed, whose history we see, has no such scars on his back. it's a hint at something. but izzy doesn't tell stede in the shirtless scene, and i think it's very in-character that he would never expose something to the world if he thought he'd have to discuss something he didn't want to talk about.
the forehead scar - the scar that remains prominent all through season 2, that we see in his death scene even. if i recall correctly this is also the only wound/scar/injury that is shown on any character in the show more than once and is shown in various stages of healing.
just.... like, i am aware that izzy hands is a character who gets mixed reception in this fandom, but whatever your thoughts on him, it means something that we see his X tattoo, his missing leg (by way of the unicorn leg), the forehead scar and his swallow tattoo, that the camera or writing doesn't have to pick them out specifically for them to be noticeable. we see him barefoot once and he's not hiding what blackbeard has done to his foot. we see him earlier looking almost happy that blackbeard is committing violence against him (note- this does NOT mean that the experience was okay, not traumatic, not seriously fucked up.) it means something.
it means something that the visible marks life leaves upon izzy are all things that tie back to ed. it means something that the entire costume of his character is inextricably tied to his captain.
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HAPPY ENDING, SAME ENDING ONCE AGAIN ˒ 𝐢. you must know ,
BIRTH NAME ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀takahashi aruna ❨ 高橋 愛月 ❩
ENGLISH NAME ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀alizée
NICKNAMES ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀kitkat , minmin , moonlight
BIRTHDAY ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀october 24 , 2002 ❨ scorpio ❩
BIRTH PLACE ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀osaka , japan
ETHNICITY ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀japanese
KNOW FAMILY ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀mom , older brother ❨ 1999 ❩ , younger sister ❨ 2004 ❩ , younger brother ❨ 2008 ❩
LANGUAGES ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀japanese , korean , english , chinese
ME WITHOUT YOU, SO WHAT I CAN DO? ˒ 𝐢𝐢. personality & look check ,
⸻ 𝐚. mirror , mirror , in the sky ,
FACE CLAIM ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀uchinaga ‘ giselle ’ aeri of aespa
HEIGHT ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀1 m 63 ❨ 5'4" ❩
BODY MODIFICATIONS ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀standard lobes , industrial & tragus right ear , daith & helix left ear
⸻ 𝐛. tell me who i am ?
UP ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀bold , calm , determined , fast learner , generous , hardworking , honest , grounded , resourceful , versatile , thoughtful , confident .
DOWN ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀bad-tempered , stubborn , troublemaker , impatient , nervous , secretive , pessimistic , rebellious , sarcastic .
MOON'S ADDS ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀although extremely reserved and intimidating, aruna is a girl with her heart on her sleeve — even if it's a part of her personality she wants to keep hidden. preferring to remain the colder half of the duo, she does her best to hide the tender smiles on the corners of her lips. nevertheless, she remains a complicated girl : she loves being at the center of dramas and never hesitates to do whatever she pleases — even if it means breaking the rules.
EMPTY REPERTOIRES, STOP IT, STOP IT ˒ 𝐢𝐢𝐢. professionalism is the key ,
STAGE NAME⠀⠀ : ⠀⠀minori ❨ 미노리 ❩
LABEL(S) ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀be:lift lab
PROFESSION ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀idol
GROUP ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀lunarsis
POSITION ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀main rapper, lead dancer, visual, maknae
INDIVIDUAL FANDOM ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀wolfies
REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀🐺
I WANT TO WALK, BUT LIKE RUNAWAY ˒ 𝐢𝐯. the story behind the cover ,
abandoned by her father from an early age, aruna never had the father figure she should have had as a child. raised by her mother and grandmother, constantly compared to her perfect older brother, the little girl immediately forged a reserved but rebellious character. with an explosive spirit and a fiery temperament, aruna is constantly reprimanded by her elders and teachers — which led her to take a vow of silence to prevent anyone from reproaching her anything for her actions, for an entire year.
during this silent year, when speech was forbidden, the young girl learned to communicate through sign language, as her psychologist had advised. her conduct prompted her mother to stop comparing her to her brother and to appreciate aruna for who she is — which led her to decide to speak again. during her school years, aruna discovered a passion for singing and dancing thanks to one of her classmates whose dream was to become an idol.
ever since, aruna has been training and improving her skills to become an idol just like her friend wanted to be. aruna may be reserved and mysterious, she's still a troublemaker with a bad temper — even if she carries her heart in her hand. she can't thank her single mother enough for looking after her all these years, and vows to make her proud for the rest of her life. while remaining true to herself, of course.
#⠀𖦆⠀⠀͏៹ the red moon calls⠀...⠀minori#⠀𖦆⠀⠀͏៹ profile ... the crescent moon said#fictional idol community#fictional kpop community#fictional kpop company#kpop fictional character#fictional idol oc#fictional kpop oc#fictional kpop idol#fictional kpop group#fictional idol group#fictional characters#kpop original character#kpop oc#kpop female idol#kpop female artists#kpopidol#kpop gg oc#kpop girl group oc#kpop female oc
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It's been so long, but I just want to get this off my chest cause what you dis really messed me up to this day.
Being accused of being a pedophile over headcanoning that a small creature whose form is that of a mysterious goo is an adult really ruined my experience with the Hollow Knight community and myself. I saw Ghost as a little sanrio character cause as an Asian who grew up in an Asian country, I was surrounded by little mascot characters whose height did not tell their age at all. You were one of my fave fic writers out there before all this, so seeing you sprout how people like me who have different headcanons are someone dangerous really messed me up as a survivor of abuse. I'm not telling you this to harass you like what your followers may insist cause last I checked they coddled you so much during this time, I'm telling you this cause you ruined one of my special interests with your redtagging. I hope you are happy. I think you pretty much rekindled one of my triggers too: Seeing popular fanfic writers redtag and harass others over headcanons.
Gonna block you again, but I'm just going to say this once: please be kind to others and remember that shit like this isn't enough to say someone is a predator. It just creates and breeds harassment and a person like you with thousands of followers should know better and be more responsible.
Anon, I truly am sorry that my reaction had such a profoundly negative effect on you. That was not my intention and I am genuinely distressed that I caused you such upset. If it helps, this experience actually did greatly sour my experience with the fandom as well, because I did not intend to have that effect and I did not want that effect. I was very, very tempted to simply delete my blog and start all over again specifically to erase any sort of concept of 'authority' that I might have in the fandom space, because the simple thought that someone might take my personal opinions and use them as an excuse to harass others just because I write fanfiction in my free time nearly gave me a panic attack. This isn't to draw the attention off of the fact that I hurt you- this is to drive home the fact that I am not in this fandom to be popular and there is nothing that I say that should be treated as word of god or used to harass others. I should not have that sort of power. Nor do I want it. It honestly makes my skin crawl and if I could wipe my name from everyone's minds while also leaving my work out there for others to find, then I would.
However, I never thought that you specifically were a pedophile, and I was in the wrong to say something that could be constructed as such. I spoke without thinking and without understanding that there was that headcanon beyond unsavory characters in the first place, my interactions with which greatly tarnished my perception of the headcanon because I didn't know any better. Genuinely- I went and asked the people I know in discord (who were likely most of those fans that 'coddled' me), and they told me I was wrong and all the ways that I was wrong, which gave me a big 'oh shit' moment. That's why I shifted my argument to simply explaining why I didn't like it- because yeah, I still fucking don't, but to me it's about as impactful as if someone likes pie vs cake. This shit, at the end of the day, isn't real. It's pixels on a screen and drawing on paper. When I spoke about how it left a bad taste in my mouth and how I had poor experiences with it in the past, that was about a personal bias and experience talking about a broad concept, not anyone specifically. Just because I considered it a red flag due to prior experiences, as stated, does not mean that it is a certainty of danger. I do not at all think that ones fictional preferences are honest indicators of the type of people they are in real life, just indicators that they're people I wouldn't get along with.
(fuckin hell, I'm fucking riddled with red flags myself- just look at my propensity for gore and tragedy and dark, violent media. That's as much of a red flag as what I was talking about before, but I can't handle the imagery of the other for reasons I can't explain other than irrational brain stuff. I also fully expect other people to look at the shit I'm into with disgust and mistrust and to block me on sight- there's plenty of people I've never interacted with who've done that already. Can't blame them for that.)
As for the thing about Ghost being similar to Asian mascots- I genuinely had no idea that was even a thing. I understand that I am biased in this regard. I was raised in a western country who has very different means of telling stories than eastern ones, and not only that, I also grew up in a very closeted-in all forms of the world-household. I didn't have any access to media other than what my local library had until I was around 11, and that was pretty much limited to fanfiction and googling all the shit that my parents banned from me. So I made zero connection to the sort of cutesy mascots in Asian cultures and Ghost until you brought that point up just now. My apologies again on that one, it's genuinely a blind spot on my part and had I known that before I certainly would have taken that into account.
However- and I'm also saying this as someone who has also encountered abuse (though admittedly a very different kind, so I cannot understand nor will pretend to understand that I know how you feel): please also understand that there will be many instances in your life where people trigger you by accident, and they have no idea that they did so until you point it out. This does not mean that they were deliberately trying to harm you. In this case, I was not at all trying to target you specifically- I don't even know you. I had no idea that what I said was an honest-to-god trigger because the whole time I was operating under the assumption that I was talking about something being 'fucking gross' the same way that lasagna is fucking gross, not as in 'I think everyone who thinks this way are genuinely dangerous people'. That's also why I responded so defensively, and why people who knew what I meant came to defend me- because from my perspective, I was talking casually, and then was getting angry replies back about something I did not mean, which felt like I was having words being put into my mouth. And that is a trigger for me as well. Which made it an even bigger fucking mess.
(There is also- and I will now fully admit to this now bc fuck I'm tired of fucking around with these goddamn arbitrary social media rules- a desire to keep antis off my back by playing up my disgust and vitrol to the subject. I've been at the center of their harassment and nearly lost friends bc of people labeling me a proshipper, so I figured the safe way to deal with it is to simply overflaunt a preexisting disgust response so that people don't attack me or accuse me of being something I'm not again.)
I triggered you. I did not know that, but that is not an excuse. You, however, also triggered me, which made the whole mess even worse. Let me explain- I grew up as an autistic child in a highly confrontational household, with a parent who would either deliberately set up scenarios that I would fail at or look for reasons to get angry at so he could blow up at me, yelling abuse and sometimes resorting to physical violence. Because I was the eldest who was supposed to be 'responsible' and 'a good role model' to my younger siblings, this meant that I was second in line for him to take out his anger on. He put words in my mouth and implications I did not mean all the time just so that he wouldn't feel bad later about backing me into a corner, destroying my possessions, and threatening to kill my pets if he did not outright hit me (which he only ever held back on because he was afraid of someone finding the marks and him being taken to jail). Me crying or apologizing only ever made him angrier, but getting angry and aggressive in return made it blow over quicker. So did trying to explain myself, because it at least let me verbally work over that the response I got was irrational. That was why I responded so defensively when I got put into a similar situation here, which is something that I somewhat regret but also do not entirely feel terrible about because how the fuck else was I supposed to respond when I kept explaining myself and you did not listen to me.
We're both human. Humans are messy and flawed. I am not someone that you should look up to or hold on a pedestal in any way because of this, nor should anyone else- I'm literally just a 23 year old guy who's obsessed enough with a story to write stories based on it in my free time, not some sage or king or god. I did not call you a pedophile personally for thinking that a fuckload of pixels I thought was a child wasn't, and when I was explaining why I don't like it, I was explaining my personal bias, not some tried-and-true gospel of divining the true meaning of fiction over something that is- as we just proved- incredibly difficult to discuss due to how subjective it is. I still maintain that my discomfort is very real and that it has a genuine basis in my own experiences, but that doesn't mean that it's valid or any more morally pure than yours. At the end of the day, it's not real, and the actual reason why I dragged this whole dilemma on for so long was because of the nature of the discussion itself throwing up all my self-defense actions rather than anything else. If I knew that it was a genuine trigger instead of fandom wank, and if I stopped getting asks in the first place, then I would have shut the fuck up a long time ago.
Def. recommend keeping me blocked, because while I certainly wouldn't mind reconciliation of a sort, I also think that our triggers overlap and that's not something that either of us should have to deal with. And I'm not talking about the Ghost headcanon either, because I no longer have that shitty knee-jerk reaction of 'oh god another cringe porn artist' to it, and- believe it or not!- have friends who are into completely different interpretations and ships and the like that I personally really dislike that I am also completely chill with because its my irrational meat brain that's the problem. I'm talking about the fact that when you're triggered, you get defensive and start jumping to conclusions (not unfounded ones btw) that unfortunately triggers my own defensive responses because jumping to conclusions is a stupid-niche trigger for me in turn. Shit's not good for either of us and I think you'd be way better off without me in your life.
And again, I really am very sorry that you thought I called you a pedophile. As I have said before, that was not my intention, and I have never believed that. I also will straight-up fight anyone who takes my irrational kneejerk dislike reaction and uses it to attack you, because that was ALSO not what I intended in the slightest and the thought of someone using my inability to shut up about my special interests as a means of 'word-of-god-ing' my likes and dislikes into fandom wank makes me want to hurl.
#i never even got proper socialization into my FUCKING LATE TEEN YEARS there is NO WAY that any of the shit i say should be followed blindly#like im not shitting on myself here and trying to play the victim im just being reasonable. im young and stupid#which means that i should be treated as such#anon#reply#also also. still kinda gritting my teeth at the concept of being 'coddled' when both of us were being fucking irrational as hell#lets face it#i was a goddamn ass but you also kept repeatedly ignoring what i had to say#and if i had to guess those werent my followers who were 'coddling me' those were just my discord friends#who saw i was having panic attacks over this and wanted to be nice#i dont hate you anon but im not going to lie and say that this isnt a two-way hurt because you did hurt me just as much as i hurt you#and neither of us were in the right but that doesnt mean it didnt happen either
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Grim Reaper's Apprentice
╔═════ஓ๑♥๑ஓ═════╗
Title: Grim Reaper's Apprentice
Pairing/s: Rosalie Hale x GN! Reader (Romantic), Alice Cullen x GN! Reader (Platonic), Bella Swan x GN! Reader (platonic)
Summary: in which two lonely mystical creatures find peace and comfort in each other as fate deemed it to be
Warnings: Not detailed violence but violence nonetheless. My own shitty take on Grim Reapers.
Additional Tags: OOC characters, fluff, I am so sorry I haven't watched twilight in a while vurabhvrbhabvr
Reader Pronouns: I think I didn't put any pronouns for the reader honestly-
Word Count: 3358 words
Author’s Note: It's been sitting on my drafts for too long and I've not written for the twilight fandom in so long so I decided why not?
╚═════ஓ๑♥๑ஓ═════╝
Grim Reaper. A being that is said to bring nothing but an ill omen.
You didn't really think you'd have the pleasure of meeting the spiritual being and live, but you did. And now they took you in as their apprentice. Which was terrifying at first, but you made it out just fine. And now you also had the ability to gather souls and make their whole life flash before their eyes.
You love your job, you really do, but sometimes it can get lonely. Your guardian was busy, moving from one soul to another and they certainly need your help, which you gladly provide, but you need someone you can talk to, someone who had a mortal life once.
And you found what you were looking for in a blonde girl whose soul was due to travel to the other side of the veil. How? You didn't know, you never knew, you just knew when they'd die and what they did in their life when you watched their memories.
It may be an invasion of privacy, but you have to do it, and over time you were numb to it all. You always ensured that you only showed the happiest memories to those who didn't deserve to die but those who did? You made sure they regret their lifetime of decisions.
This time, a name suddenly wrote itself upon your book, a list of names whose souls need to be retrieved and guided before the end of the day. And while a name suddenly popping up in the middle of a job isn’t unusual, the fact that it’s glowing an elegant shade of gold is.
You quickly guide the ordinary soul through the veil and once that’s done, you allowed yourself to dematerialize and assemble to where the soul was.
And there laid the most beautiful creature you have ever laid your eyes on. You, however, didn’t get to stare at her for too long because you felt a crushing pain in your chest. You gritted your teeth as the pain reverberated and spread all throughout your body. Rosalie’s memories start forcing their way inside your head and you are reliving her life just as she is.
“Child. One wished that fate would allow your meeting with your fated half in a pleasant way, but one sees that it is not the case. You must make a choice, one’s dearest apprentice. Would you allow her soul to pass through the veil, or would you allow her to live as a Cold One?” You feel your mentor’s bony hand on your shoulder
You weighed each option carefully, Once a soul passes through the veil, it experiences the best treatment it could wish for. Basically, heaven as most mortals prefer to call that phenomenon. However, you would never be able to see her again. But if she becomes a cold one instead, she would have to live with the pain of having to consume blood. You had a feeling she would consider that a curse instead.
“Ah, it seems you are too slow when it comes to decisions child.”
Your head shot up at the sound of someone’s footsteps echoing from within the dark alleyway, a cold one. Are they looking for a meal? You scrambled to your feet and attempted to push the blonde man off your fated one, only for you to phase through him. You felt dread quickly filling you up, She doesn’t want this. No one does, she doesn’t deserve to live with the memories that’ll forever haunt her.
Perhaps he’d just feed on her? Or will he change her?
But isn’t that a good thing? You’d have a chance on getting to know her? After all, you’d be contented with just being in her presence.
“Child. One understands your turmoil, however, you must not be too reckless and hasty. Gaze into his eyes little one.” Your mentor sighs as if exasperated by your antics
And so you did as they asked, gazing into this man’s golden eyes. Ah.
“Oh.” you pouted slightly, embarrassment slowly replacing the dread
“As you can see, she’ll be…relatively safe with the Cullens.”
“Do you know him?”
“Why yes, of course. One was supposed to claim his soul but he turned into a cold one before one had the chance to steal his soul.” Your mentor’s cloak shook as if the body under it shrugged
Your mentor’s making your job sound so much more terrifying and evil than it actually is, making you look at them with a scrunched-up face.
They sigh, “She will be safe with the Cullens, you have sifted through his memories so you should know firsthand what he truly is like. One also gives you permission to follow your fated one around when you finished guiding your set amount of souls every day. However, you must remember, child, you are not strong enough to appear in front of those who walk in the mortal plane just yet.”
You know that. You’ve been trying to get past that hurdle for who knows how long. Grim Reapers take souls who have experienced great pain and suffering yet remain neutral, as opposed to the good souls that go up and bad souls that go down, as apprentices. And you were one of the new ones, barely able to force souls through the veil. This is why your mentor always gave you the easy ones.
“Do not worry young one.” Their bony hand petted your hair, “With your work ethic, you’re going to gain that skill in the next few decades” They then turned around, that signature scythe lazily draped over their shoulders.
“Besides, if you manage to capture souls before they turn into cold ones or a creature of the night, you might lessen your sentence.”
And so you did just that. You gently guided kind souls to their destination, helping them fulfill their last wishes before moving on. You not-so-gently kicked cruel souls into your soul jar and threw them through the veil. Your method made your stoic mentor laugh so hard their jaw fell off… literally.
You also (creepily) romantically followed Rosalie around as she navigates through her new life as a cold one. She was particularly attractive when she killed those who led her to her death without even spilling a drop of blood. Only the Gods above and below are witnesses to your feral fawnings over your beloved. Well, except maybe for the souls of the very same men your beloved just killed. They were already in your jar so it’s not like they had any say in it.
So that was how you spent the next few decades, following Rosalie around to make sure she’s safe, doing your job, and practicing how to solidify so that you can finally attend that God-awful school in Forks, where Rosalie and her family are trying to blend in with their God-like looks and their dazzlingly golden eyes. Florescent they say.
You can’t help but laugh as (your brother-in-law) Rosalie’s brother weakly try to explain and defend himself from his blood singer and fated one.
“Hmm. Bella Swan huh. I remember a soul whose last wish was to name his granddaughter after his wife Bella… I wonder…” You shrugged it off, maybe it was a coincidence.
“Woah! So you really are here.” You jumped and screeched when a pixie-like being suddenly appeared beside you.
“Alice? You can…see me?” You waved your hand back and forth in front of her face
“No. I can’t see you. But I’ve seen this vision so many times that I have memorized it down to every last second.”
“Oh.”
“Oh indeed. So tell me, who are you and why do I see you with Rosalie in almost every vision I get. And yes I know the answer I just want to hear you say it.”
“You can’t even hear me.” You sighed, before trying to materialize and succeeding, but you feel yourself struggling and you knew that your time with her is limited.
“Hello.” You tested it awkwardly, then laughed slightly when Alice’s eyes lit up as she bounced on the heels of her feet.
“You’re prettier than when I saw you in my vision-” she then grabs your hand, lightly gasping “You’re cold!! Colder than us, at least.” You chuckled, loving the cheerful attitude that was directed toward you.
“I’m glad that at least one of the Cullen’s like me at least.” You grinned
“I don’t just like you, oh no. We are going to be best friends. And I will be setting you up with Rose sooner or later… Preferably when you can permanently make yourself solid.” She giggled, pointing at your now fading body.
“Oh.” That was the last word you muttered before running out of time, which made Alice laugh gleefully before turning to return inside where her family was waiting for her.
You wondered if they heard your conversation whilst floating to them but it turns out that they were quite worried for Alice since her presence suddenly disappeared. You noted that as one of the things you’ll ask your mentor once they come by for their check-up on you every decade or so.
Days pass by as more trouble finds its way toward the Cullen family, the center of it all would be one Bella Swan and you suddenly found yourself swamped with work, so you could only be there when a certain crazy blonde-haired vampire bit Bella Swan.
“Do I really look like that?” Bella whispers to herself as she gazes down at her convulsing body
“Yes, you do. Now, do you see why Alice insists on taking you out shopping?” You suddenly phased through one of the pillars in her childhood ballet studio.
You just came from Italy, guiding a huge group of souls with 2 more fellow apprentices after a coven feeding. It was easy but tedious and tiring. When you saw that 2 names suddenly written themselves in your “souls-to-fetch” list, you were baffled to see Bella’s name along with some random white dude named James.
Bella took a ghostly step back as you fixed your clothes, ignoring the fighting of Edward and James in the background. She was clearly startled by you but she composed herself quickly
“Excuse me? Who are you? Are you…like a ghost?” She then glances at your scythe and you see her slowly put things together.
“Wow, I can see the cogs turning in your brain-” you spin your scythe around for fun then made it vanish, winking at her before floating towards her “-No, I’m not a ghost. Yes, I am a grim reaper, one of many. And No. You’re not going to die… yet. As if Edward will let you die. The guy watches you sleep for fucks sake.” You huffed out, before shutting your mouth, realizing that you’ve done the same every night, granted that Rosalie never slept… only pretended to do so. Perhaps that doesn’t count.
You see Bella’s soul glow bright red in embarrassment, a tell-tale sign that she’s not meant to be taken through the veil just yet, for she still feels emotion and is still attached to her mortal body.
“Ew, he’s going to suck your blood now, so you’d probably feel a vacuum-like feeling, don’t worry, just let it happen. It’s your body dragging your soul back. Nothing to worry about. Now shoo!” You pushed her towards her body, laughing when her ghostly feet tripped and she fell on top of herself, which prompted the process of soul-attaching. It was just a goofy sight of the soul swirling around like a vortex as they get sucked into their mortal body.
“That’s always hilarious.” You wipe the figurative tear off your eye.
“Now what am I going to do with you.” Your eyes turn into slits as flesh slowly melted off you, revealing the classic bony grim reaper look, your scythe slowly materializing in your hand as you slowly turned towards James, who was struggling to keep himself together since he did just get dismembered and burned into ashes.
He tried to speak but you slashed your scythe into the air once, making stitches appear on his mouth, stitching it shut. He then realized his circumstances and with his dwindling attachment to the mortal plane, he ran in fear. You laughed, floating eyeballs flashing red as you began to chase, toy, and play with him. Hunting him down like prey, just like he did with so many other souls.
Your job comes with such benefits after all.
You might’ve had too much fun with him since the next thing you knew, it was time for Fork’s Prom Night, the night wherein you planned to reveal yourself to Rosalie. Upon realizing that, you quickly jammed James’ soul into a jar and hurriedly threw it through the veil leaving whoever was on the other side with the responsibility of him as you rushed to phase to Forks.
Upon stepping on luscious green grass, its blades still moist from the rain as you breathed in the forest-infused air, you knew that you were in the right place. However, the loud music coming from the school indicated that you were late. You sighed and let your bond with Rosalie lead you to her, your feet soon moved by themselves as gold slowly invaded your vision.
She looked so…ethereal, yet oh so lonely sitting there. The wind pushes her hair back as she sits there, peaceful and alone. Your hand longs to hold hers while you both gaze up unto the starry sky, just keeping her company throughout eternity.
“Beautiful.” You whispered, watching as her eyes shot open, slowly looking around as if feeling your presence.
“You know I can feel you right?” She softly says, her shoulders relaxing as she realizes it’s just you
“I actually didn’t.” You sheepishly say as you materialize, having practiced time and time again, you felt like this time, you’ll be able to last longer than before
“Is that so?” She smirks, before turning to look at you.
She then blinks slowly as if she can’t believe what she was looking at. You quickly looked down and saw that in your hurry to get here, you forgot that you were still in your grim reaper outfit, with your hood down. Which meant that she saw you in all your boney gloriousness. You quickly made yourself invisible just so you could put some flesh into your bones and quickly reappeared, an embarrassed look painted heavily on your face.
“I am so sorry.” You looked away from her, biting your lip hard as punishment for the unsightly sight that she had to see
You then felt the air shift as she suddenly appeared before you, her hands cradling your face as she pulls your bottom lip to stop you from biting them. You felt your mind short circuit and you were so sure that smoke was escaping from your ears.
“Please let me court you.” You quickly blurted out, your mouth letting the words escape before your brain could fully process them.
Her eyes widened slightly, taken aback by the sudden declaration of adoration before chuckling, her face filled with glee as her eyes look at you fondly.
“Only if you allow me to court you as well.” She replies, hand intertwining with yours as she leads you to sit beside her on the bench that she previously sat at.
You two spoke for hours, basking under the moonlight as you play with each other’s fingers. Telling stories and comparing hand sizes, you also let yourself gush over her as you tell her how attractive she looked every time she struts down the hallway or how hot she looked when she played baseball, especially when she stared Bella down as she slowly got up from sliding.
She then told you about all the times she felt your presence, which was frequent. She told you about the time she caught your boney hand emerging from nowhere to put a bookmark on the page of the book she was reading the night before while she was showering for school. She also told you about the time she felt coldness hovering over her and the time that she was sure that you punched someone for gazing at her like a piece of meat. You sheepishly admitted to it and you both laughed about it.
Soon enough it was time for her to go home and you were feeling yourself fade away.
“You don’t have to worry. Although you can’t see me, I will always be right there with you.” You reassured her when you saw the panicked look on her face.
And oh boy did you fulfill that promise.
Your daily life now consists of appearing before Rosalie every morning, inviting her for a walk. It allows her to have time for her to organize her thoughts about the happenings that seem to only happen to her family. It allows her to rant about Bella while you take her hand in yours in silent comfort and support. It allows her to spend time with you as you practice materializing yourself for longer durations.
Your walks always end with that one tree that you deemed as your tree, your initials, and Rosalie’s carved into the wood. You would always sit down on the cloth that Rosalie always carried with your back against the rough bark. You would then open your arms, inviting Rosalie in your embrace as she slowly melts into you. Her head resting on your chest while you place your chin on her shoulders. She would then start to read a book that you both chose with you enjoying the way her voice sounds.
She would never admit it but she absolutely loves the way you hum directly on her ears when she reads parts that you particularly like or the way you would grunt in annoyance when a character does something idiotic.
After perhaps 6 chapters or so, when the sun is fully out, you like to pick her up suddenly, focusing on her as you wave your hand around, your gifts, as she likes to call it, making sure that you put a bookmark on the page you left it, then making sure the blanket was nice and cleanly folded. You would then adorn her with a gorgeous gown from an era of her choice (it really depends on her mood), your black mist wrapping around her before forming into the said dress while you too adorn yourself with the clothing of your choice.
You would then kneel on one knee, asking permission to kiss the back of her hand before asking her to dance. Her skin would sparkle under the sun, the very same sparkle that she used to loathe with her whole heart, she loves it now. Why? It was all because of your expression each and every time you see it. A child-like wonder, your eyes filled with adoration and love as you twirl her with the rhythm that only the two of you can hear.
She could do this for all eternity, she would never get sick of it. Not even when you finally put a ring on her finger.
While there are times that you would miss this morning routine on yours, you would always tell her beforehand, silently cursing your work and only leaving when she tells, or rather, orders you to. She understands how important your work is, no matter how time-consuming it is, she would always wait for you with a cold yet warm embrace as you cuddled the night away. So it doesn’t really bother her when you disappear at random points in time.
Why should it? She knows in her very soul that you would always come back to her, a grin on your face and sometimes you even come home with live animals from wherever you were from for her and her family.
Being a vampire and having a Grim Reaper as a fated one may be unorthodox, but she would choose it over and over again with no hesitation whatsoever.
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Hi I just wanted to also throw in my support and let you know that I'm sorry you're dealing with people being horrible. Art is meant to be whatever you want it to be and just because you like something in fiction doesn't mean you like it in real life or are some monster indorsing literal crimes (That's why it's called FICTION). You have an amazing art style and a great sense of humor and even though there are some things I don't like that you make I know all I have to do is skip them. People need to understand the difference between participating in ways to limit real threats real threats (like refusing to consume media made by proven abusers and crinimals) and functionally conservative censorship (even if they don't want to admit that is what they are doing) just because they do not like something or it makes them uncomfortable (especially when that censorship many times comes with unsubstantiated accusations and literal death threats). I'm not one to have the mind set of 'back in my day things were better!' because no they weren't, but one thing my generation did do right was learn how to block and ignore things that they were uncomfortable with instead of deciding that the best route to take is literal cyber attacks (I hate calling it 'bullying' since that doesn't even cover half the horrible stuff I've seen people say and do) on people to the point of wanting them to kill themselves over literal fictional characters in art.
I AM AND ALWAYS WILL BE A FIRM SUPPORTER OF NON-CENSORSHIP! NO MATTER WHAT NAME FUNCTIONAL CONSERVATIVES CALL THEMSELVES.
I'm sorry this was a rant but please know that you do have people who support you and even if I don't like everything you do, ultimately your art isn't for me. It's for you, and no one has a right to tell you what you are and are not allowed to create. I hope that things get better. <3333
Thank you very much for your kind words of support. I always say that, but I mean it: it's super important to hear that there are people who understand where we're coming from and let us know about it and are willing to express their opinion. Your ask actually really cheered us up that day <3
You’ve made a lot of great points, and I agree with you wholeheartedly! An artist has their freedom to draw and post whatever they want, and the viewer has their freedom to look at it or block it and forget it. If you don’t like it or don’t get it, it’s not for you to get – it’s plain and simple like that.
And yes, there ARE ways to limit irl threats and problematic situations! There are groomers, a lot of them are in fandom spaces, but these folks are looking at the wrong people. And they know it damn well, their goal isn’t actually to bring justice or make someone feel safe: if that was the case, they would just have a list of tags to block and that would suffice nicely.
Also you’re right, things weren’t better back then, but people really did seem to mind their business and ignore/block stuff they don’t want to see more often. And even when artists/writers/people in general received shit from others, it was understood by everyone than people doing this stuff were just straight-up trolls whose entire goal was to mess with others. But nowadays people who harass, bully, threaten and send “kys” messages somehow try to make it seem like they are morally superior to their victims??? Which makes them even more closely resemble pro-censorship conservatives. Honestly, it’s stupid how similar these people sound to some of the 70 y.o. fools who run our country and the censorship laws they create. It’s like verbatim sometimes. Sorry, I digress.
Once again, thank you so much for your support <3 I hope you are having a great day.
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An Open Message to The TWST Fandom
If you have seen this post before, this is a repost. The previous version was not showing up in the tags.
This post is for anyone who has seen the posts of, interacted with, or felt harassed/made uncomfortable by the blog fandom4lesbians:
You are engaging in a bad faith argument with a racist, homophobic, TERF whose only interest is driving a wedge in the fans by starting pointless discourse using buzzwords and skin-deep morals to support their irrational words.
I have seen people already begin to put the pieces together as to who this person actually is and I wanted to come forward and present everything I felt obligated to dig up. I have evidence and connections that this person, “Marie” who claims to be a black trans lesbian aged around 16-18, is the one behind several genshin and twst accounts that have been seen in the tags before.
The Former Accounts (chronological order):
genshin-lumine
yuunatsukuyomiinwonderland
mult1fandoml3sbian
fandom4lesbians (current and most recently created)
Unfortunately, because I had not considered that I would ever need to make this post, I do not have as many screenshots as I would like, but please read what I have to say and draw your own conclusions. My goal is not to throw some overzealous teen to the wolves, it is to get rid of a nasty person who has made it their hobby to harass TWST and genshin fans. That being said, I am not in the genshin fandom so I do not know the full extent of what this person has done there, but I will mention what I know for sure.
If you’re wondering who I am, the answer is literally nobody. I am a lurker who is sick and tired of bigoted idiots taking over fandom spaces and making others uncomfortable, I just so happened to have some physical evidence against this one. I am also an adult, so I will attempt to remain calm and mature throughout this post, but please forgive me if tension rise a bit.
I will also potentially be making additional posts if more things come up, but I will not make any promises.
Evidence to Follow:
1. genshin-lumine and racism/homophobia
approx. 1-2 months ago, this blog popped up for me in the TWST tag, they had a long list of TWST OCs (all of which were female and darker skinned). nothing suspicious there, until
they made several posts claiming that--in addition to Leona, Ruggie, and Jack-- Kalim and Jamil (characters who are known to be middle eastern and even south east asian inspired) were also black because (paraphrase) “there is no way a character with skin that dark couldn’t be black”
furthermore, they made claims that shipping two male characters together was fetishizing mlm... but has no problem with wlw ships? this is where the TERF claim comes in, it’s nothing explicitly “man hating” but it’s not subtle either and the behavior continues in the future
all of this occurred in the span of a couple days, and people rightfully messaged them explaining that what they were doing and saying was wrong (i was one of them and gave them the benefit of the doubt, but quickly saw that was pointless), but the user only doubled down and refused to listen
i think at this point people also started going after their OCs, calling them boring, Mary Sues, stupid, etc. and that seemed to get a bigger reaction, but nothing major yet
i’m guessing enough people had gotten sick of them and were flooding their inbox with messages so they deleted. to start fresh.
2. yuunatsukuyomiinwonderland; Lumine 2.0
this blog started out pretty inoffensively, but something caught my eye as soon as i saw their post in the TWST tag. they made an OC (female, darkskinned) named Yuuna Tsukuyomi using the TWST chibi picrew--like many others have done, nothing wrong with it--but what stood out was the description. the wording and construction of the post was nearly identical to those from the lumine account. so i got suspicious immediately
once again people began messaging them, saying mainly that a non-Japanese person naming a non-Japanese character after an important Shinto god was not a good look, and again this person refused to listen, saying that it was their right to do what they wanted with their character
but people knew something was up, myself included, and after the circus that was genshin-lumine, i wasn’t being nice anymore and messaged this person in no uncertain terms that we knew who they were and to fuck off, we didn’t want them there
so they deleted, again. but guess what? something interesting happened when i was looking through my browser history for evidence that i wasn’t going crazy:
and this is when i knew that i had something. moving on.
3. mult1fandoml3sbian: the Return of Yuuna
now at this point, i thought it was over and was proven wrong. this account was essentially Yuuna Tsukuyomi but with a reskin. instead it was Yuri (i think) Amaterasu. again, same language, same chibi picrew, same problems. furthermore, the time between the creation, or at least awakening, of these accounts is too coincidental. genshin-lumine deleted and then soon after yuuna pops up, then yuuna deletes and around one week later this one comes out with a near identical blog just different name
and the problems start once more. i believe this is the point where they began receiving a lot of explicit anon hate, mainly racism and homophobic things which were... not pleasant to read by any stretch and i don’t condone anything that those anons sent. you are no better than her, you are equally bad if not worse. but these messages were brushed off with short, “zingy” responses, one-liners really, or some form of “that’s not nice”, despite the really gross things that were being said. and the traffic of these posts didn’t slow or stop, the user was seemingly responding to every one they received
so i doubt the total validity of those messages, but i will not outright say the user sent them to their own account bc i don’t know anything for sure
but, time passed and this blog was deleted as well. then, less than 3 days later...
4. fandom4lesbians, the Most Recent BS
here is when i lost all faith that there was a god.
it was really the same cycle on repeat, but this time they hit it big in the genshin community. the blog is still up at this point and refuses to stop so i recommend looking right at the source to see what exactly they are doing and what they received.
to summarize, they made inflammatory comments about two newly revealed female genshin characters being in a relationship and condemned people that shipped them with male characters. immediately afterwards they received a slew of vitriolic and disgusting messages to their inbox about their identity and race. however, my current theory is that they started out sending less offensive things to themselves but attracted other bad people (genshin is full of gross weirdos) that thought they were real and jumped down her throat with even worse comments.
but then the traffic stopped for a peaceful day or two, and then started up again full force and now they are spamming the TWST tag with their fem vs masc MC garbage
and many other prominent users have received messages in their inbox asking the exact same version of “what do you think of fem!MC in TWST anime?” literal copy and paste
and to my great joy, no one gave them the time of day, even when poked further by additional anons telling them to answer the question seriously. clearly that was not exactly the reaction they wanted. long live the Shrimp!
also, remember Boycott Ghost Marriage? that was this clown and plays further into my TERF claims
5. Conclusion
is anything in this post enough to be considered hardcore evidence in a court of law? no probably not, but i hope your critical thinking skills are developed enough to see my point
these four accounts all cropped up one right after the other, they were all genshin and TWST related, they all had something to say regarding the fandom and how they treated female characters/made bigoted comments towards minority groups/have the exact same habits and writing style in their posts
another thing i noticed is that they all reblogged posts from an account called damnfandomproblems as part of their first few posts, just another suspicious thing to add to the pile
6. What do YOU need to do?
ignore them, block them, report them. if you’re brave enough, go to their blog and tell them to go away, but whatever you do, don’t stake too much brain power on it.
and for the love of god, don’t be racist, homophobic, etc. to counter their BS
best case, they’re a troll who needs their IP banned. worst case, they actual believe the idiocy they’re spreading and aren’t going to stop spamming the tag until someone doxxes them or something (don’t do that, that’s illegal)
if anyone has further evidence of this person acting a fool, i will have my inbox open and welcome discussion
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Please read:
Ok, so as I jokingly said before “I’m back.” - I’m not joking, I am back.
Not entirely yet but here are some things to wait for in the near future.
Before I list it I need to browse fast through the real life stuff first so bear with:
- one of the reasons I did go missing from art and fandoms in general wasn’t just the ammount of books but also family situations, depression, relationships and in the last few years I lost grandma, grandpa and even my mother to a disease they don’t have it diagnosed yet because it was so rare.
Obvsly took a major hit to my mental health and the ability to write and just have energy kinda left me. I’m handling it I’m in therapy. This is all we need to talk about it.
- it’s been over ten years since some of your fave fics have been updated and while both Clichesbullet on ff.net and thatu on DA will be there and won’t be deleted HERE are what’s to expect:
1. My endgame here is reading the books back and forth again, as well as other source
Material for other fandoms I will
Be publishing for.
-updating the old fan mixes and uploading it to Spotify so it’s more accessible and going back (when possible to art).
- I will use AO3 some new aesthetics and user name (though probably just thatu) and edit a lot more to fit what I believe is better not because the world changed in general but because so
Did I.
Some of the racism and homophobia will still be there are these are the characters having flaws whose arcs weren’t complete but lots of it will also be changed because I’m 34 now I also the world is changed and some stuff just wouldn’t fly and I kinda hate it (but the old material is still there available on the old
Accounts).
- I’m not sure technology will be adapted but some references will here and there and I can clearly deliver something better now that I’ve taught English for over half of my life and am taking a masters degree on translation studies.
- real life will get me too busy sometimes so please I hope you’re excited but I know lots
Of you also have jobs or even families. So leave reviews and keep
Me company but also understand I was bad at updating before even with better time
Management this is will be a ride.
- I’m doing this to prove myself I can do and make good things.
- This site as well as the thatu blog will be updated.
- if you were a follower and have deleted your tumblr or changed usernames please leave a reply with who we were because I’ve had an eventful few years. I remember most of you, but I may need a nudge.
- both my writing and art style have developed and so did my world views - stuff will look different but hopefully still bring you comfort. And laughter.
And tears…?
- there will be some one shots posted focusing on stuff like grown up characters and new knowledge
We now have though the characterization will still follow the book ones as that’s how I kinda got used to it.
- I’m back but I’ll be getting back slowly and posting updates here. Tell ur friends who haven’t been here in a while but used to be part of our group of
Weirdos.
- I missed being a fandom person and hopefully now I can find solace in you guys back again.
- some new fandoms will pop up, as will
Some
Ships (see what I did there? Find solace? Will some ships? Hehe).
-Some extra texts will be added to whatever adaptations I make especially regarding transphobia and HP though I do intend to finish my Hannah/Neville story.
- maybe I’ll write original
Stuff too who knows?
Also, I missed you, spread the word. There’s a brand new old me in town. New ships, new views, new one shots, edits, a very different music taste (actually no I just added more stuff) and a lot of improved knowledge of vocabs and world geography.
Please spread this to whoever you think might be interested. It’s not popularity or anything, I’m trying to get back some pieces of me I lost along the way and writing and drawing used to be FUN and help me make FRIENDS.
I’ll keep u posted once everything is at least remotely ready to go.
And omg you’ll finally know what Silena had on clarisse.
Oh and I’m still not for writing smut but there will be more Adult/Mature like material as some ships require it and I am older. No minors having descriptive s*x
Of course but u know it’d feel weird to talk about these huge ass long relationships and not bring it up naturally.
Anyway, reply to this with whatever. Leave a like or something too but mostly leave a reply so we can start this journey together -
New younger fans are also welcome I’ll make my best to keep this space as safe as possible!! I teach kids and teens and I’d kill for u to have a place to be you safely.
Also there will now be additions on author notes for whether a ship is canon or fanon what I adapted and new fandoms new ships and trigger warnings before sensitive chapters that deal with stuff that before I wouldn’t.
Love, I’ve missed this,
thatu.
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hi again! hope you're in good health! your answer to the pirate au gave me life, if you ever wanna share more/info-dump about it I'll be happy to take a seat and listen. Since we have similar brain worms about them and it seems you've been on the spamano block even longer than I have I was wondering if you have any fic recs for them? (side note do you have an ao3?) or just any type of rec for spamano at all?
hi again!!! you must have the patience of a saint for waiting so long, but yes hello i am here and i have been DYING to answer your ask and once again i stuck it under a read more bc what is concise wording??? idk her shes not here we only ramble here! warnings for excessive over-explanation and the obsessive thoughts of someone who has been in this stupid fandom for way, way too long.
i also wanted to address the super sweet notes you wrote on your original ask that had me smiling like an absolute fool, btw!!!! so first off: THANK YOU AND IM SO GLAD YOU AGREE!!!!! listen, the canon dynamic between these two has always given me a very severe case of brain rot, and the ways in which that dynamic can be removed from canon and smacked into any au is just soooooo juicy. and while yes i do adore airhead spain with all my heart, i do see it as very reductive to his character and who he actually is. and this also kinda bleeds into answering this ask, so yay! two birds one stone!
my entire thing with these two is the fact that spain is, at his core, an empire. god, gold, glory. that was his whole thing, ruthlessly so. and while yes i do believe the nations dont personify their governments and instead represent the best of their people, it would be foolish to ignore what it means for spain (and antonio) to be the spanish empire, bloody, greedy, damned, troubled, all of it. and that bleeds a lot into how i imagine antonio to be!
antonio (and spain) will always carry a lot of guilt to me. he acts sweet and bubble and sunshiny, and i do think he genuinely is that way naturally, but a lot of it is also an attempt to distance himself from what he used to be, either from guilt, from wanting others to forget, or for whatever reason. who he is in current day is not who he was, but its still there and it is something he grapples with constantly. so, in the vein of my pirate au, antonio as a pirate is someone who is angry.
hes angry at the world, hes angry at his government, hes angry at the state of life for anyone who isnt wealthy and born into generational status, hes angry at the favoritism, at the restrictions, at everything. hes someone who wants freedom. spain as a character doesnt like to be restrained, hated his forced job of folding flowers, hated he couldnt do more when he was once so powerful (to the point where america even said anytime spain was near him hed try and hit him with his knees, so clearly he knows how to hold a grudge) and antonio would feel a lot of resentment to the state of the world as it exists around him but unable to change it—until he can
and lovino, who is angry but for so many other reasons. lovino, who is born into a gilded cage that he cant even touch, lovino, whose entire life was built around his younger (legitimate) brother who will one day inherit everything his grandfather passes on that lovino cannot have, even if they do love him, even if they do cherish him and give him an education and steady work and a comfortable life. but thats not enough, and why would it be? his name is worthless in this society. he barely exists outside of his small family, and whenever he's there, there is always the elephant in the room of none of this is mine, none of this will ever be mine. so yes hes angry, hes resentful, but hes also stuck. where can he go, realistically, when this is all hes ever known? and he loves his family. hes loyal, hes caring, he adores his family. he just also resents them because they are everything he can never be. (and i do throw seborga into the brothers. they are a trio to me and they always will be!)
so when they meet, when antonio sees this little angry brat with so much pent up aggression start barking insults at him in front of his own crew, how can he not be fascinated by that? and he sees someone wearing a shiny family crest of a prominent venetian family, and its so easy to him. take him, maybe teach him some respect, dump him in italy, get some money, and fuck off to the ocean again for the next prize.
and it would work if they both werent so fucking stupid at the same time. bc just like romano and spain, these two are two sides of the same dumb ass spectrum. angry and hopeful with different styles of attachment that fit just perfectly enough to make it feel clandestine. two people who could just so happen to understand where the other is coming from, with enough understanding to get it. and suddenly theyre not so different after all, are they, considering they both got screwed over in life, forced into roles they didnt want until someone gave them an out, until they give each other an out.
and then it becomes a lot less about stealing from the world and keeping it for themselves as it is giving each other the world, wealth and riches that belong to them and them alone, an open ear and willing hands and the understanding that antonio would rip the stars from the sky and temper raging oceans for lovino if he asked, hoping only for lovino to love him in return and choose to stay, to seek freedom and something different.
its entirely selfish and dangerous and doomed to fail from the start, which we as people in 2024 know, but its romantic in its desperation and honest in how actual real life pirates were furious with their lives and were entirely fucked over after the war of spanish succession, and while yes most of those pirates were english (and arthur is a big player in this story too, obvi), spain did have its fair share, esp in retaliation to what the english were doing to spanish treasure ships.
WOW that was a lot im so sorry for how long that is. i hope it is in some way understandable and not just rambling jibberish fghjkjh as for fic recs!!! babe how much time to do you bc i have like. thousands. ill start with my favorite few though, and maybe youll find something you like in them!
some are long, some are short, some are not as much romantic as they are doomed and haunted, and some are nauseatingly sweet, but its a range of stuff. let me know what you like and im sure i can tailor these more to your tastes!
in no particular order, some of my all time favs:
those who loved us all along by aalesundbren
the problem with being known by baybetime
the bocca della verità duology by nyoengland
ravish by ludwiggle73 (spamano isnt the main pair, its second to fruk, but its a good fic nonetheless)
underneath the gilded lights by kai_maciel (spamano is a very small part of this, its mainly centered around latam and portugal, but the parts they do have are cute and i love how spain is characterized. it has a second part with a few other spamano bits, if youre interested)
anything that champagnesly has ever written about spamano. one of my all time favorite authors, even if they havent been in the fandom in a very long time. their wine verse is a personal fav and i read it when i was younger and i still go back to read it now. same for oblivion, the blue hours, and tbh anything else spamano theyve ever written
we are all businessmen by soliloquium
tesoro mio by (they orphaned the fic, i do know who the author is but since its orphaned idk if they want me to say their name???? either way, great fic!)
more than attraction by whitetyger12
and finally, anything mareepysheepy has ever written for spamano, with a particular shout out to give and take
okay, thats all ill do for now. i have so many fic recs that ive accumulated over the years for this pairing, but hopefully you find something somewhere in this mess that you end up enjoying. sorry again for the wait and i hope this made up for it!!!!
you are a delight to my day and THANK YOU for allowing me to ramble endlessly about my stupid pirates
#this is a whole ass essay i am so sorry#getting asks from you makes me so happy that makes it even harder to shut up/distill myself. unfortunately i hate periods & so we ramble!!!#please let me know if you end up liking any of those fics or if youve read them already#i can probably pull more if i know what youre looking for i have a backlog of fics ranging from like 2010#theres also a good doujinshi site that i like that has some ooollddd famous doujins for these two and i am very fond of it#lmk if you want a link! idk if youve read any but i enjoy them for nostalgias sake#anyway thats all i got you are sucha highlight to my day mwah enjoy!!!!#asks#appleblondie0397
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i’ve been rewatching csi from the beginning (because i’ve never been able to make it past season 9 without grissom) and i’m finally up to the end of season 7… i have like 3 episodes left and i’m SAD. this team dynamic is so special to me and i feel this slow crawl of devastation that i’m (again) witnessing the end of what has been for 7 seasons. soon sara won’t be her usually cute and passionate self (in love too) that we get see in season 7, and she’ll leave, and then warrick is going to die, and grissom will leave… and nothing will ever be the same on this show. i don’t know how to get over it. how did you do it? how do i move on? how do i mourn this team dynamic that i’ve loved for so long and get used to new variations of the team? god, i wish grissom came back for a proper full ep earlier than the freaking series finale and the new show. i’m just… not sure how to enjoy without them all 😭
hi, anon!
yours is a very heartfelt question, and, unfortunately, i am probably the wrong person to answer it, because i never really "got over" the changes to the show post-s7, either.
not gonna lie to you: i have only watched the s10-s15 era of the show once through in its entirety.
the s8 and s9 angst i can deal with in order to get to the happy gsr ending in episode 09x10 "one to go." however, i hate all later seasons of the show beyond that point with all the salt that is in me, not only because of the cast turnover but also because the writing and production values of the show changed so much as to make the series (and the remaining characters) unrecognizable.
most of the time, i just straight-up ignore the fact that those seasons exist, preferring to imagine my own canon-divergent au version of the show (starting from the end of s7) instead.
i really do not engage with them unless someone sends me an ask.
that so, i can't exactly tell you how to learn to accept the new team or get comfortable in that altered narrative landscape. i never did, on either count.
instead, my advice is this: keep in mind you're not obligated to finish watching csi if doing so isn't enjoyable to you. you fell in love with a particular group of characters, story universe, and cast dynamic, and if those things went away or ship of theseus'd themselves into a production that is fundamentally different from the one you fell in love with in every way save name, you don't have to stick around anymore.
remember: you're watching this show as a hobby, not a job.
the #1 rule of fandom is to follow your bliss, so if you're not naturally motivated to finish the series—and especially if the thought of doing so is actively causing you dread—then you don't have to force the issue.
give yourself permission to say, "for me, the series ends with episode 08x01 'dead doll' or episode 09x10 'one to go' (or wherever you want to draw your line in the sand)" and then walk away.
if you need closure, write your own au version of what happens after that point or else find some fanfic author whose vision aligns with your own. keep living blissfully in your s1-s7 happy place with the original team graveyard, where grissom is the boss and sara stays in vegas and warrick doesn't die and they all keep solving cases together until retirement.
and then don't sweat it.
you're not being a "bad fan" or letting anyone down, and there's still plenty of material in the early seasons for you to engage with.
now.
if you absolutely feel you must finish the show (for whatever reason), i guess one thing i might suggest is to engage with work from fans who genuinely enjoy the later seasons. i know there are some folks in this fandom who adore the new characters and team graveyard version 2.0. they write meta and fic and make gifsets about it, and they have a total blast doing so. hanging around their blogs might help you to find things to appreciate.
another thing you might do is give yourself permission to "cherry-pick." watch just to see what happens. if there's stuff you like, go ahead and incorporate it into your conception of the show. the rest, discard. as i said above, you're not obligated to enjoy the show in a certain way and especially not "across the board." so if you like the fact sara has mother-in-law drama but hate the fact she gets divorced? then keep the first thing and toss out the second. if canon makes a stupid-ass decision, you can elect to ignore it.
and regardless of whether you ultimately decide to finish out your watch-through or not, don't forget: the beginning of the story—i.e., those seven golden seasons you so love—will always be there, and you can return to them as often as you want. the beauty of a story is that it exists in perpetuity. grissom, catherine, warrick, nick, sara, and greg will all still be there waiting for you, and you can continue to enjoy their dynamics however you best prefer them.
good luck, anon! if you choose to continue your watch, i hope you enjoy yourself. if not, then i hope you have fun mentally setting up shop in the early seasons.
i certainly do!
thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.
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Hello fucker im the anon losing my absolute marbles about godfuckingdamned stranger things
Not only are you apparently not going alone to hell and have fucking grabbed me and decided to take me along with you you fuck but i feel as though i was plucked out the 3 story window of my fucking flat and shoved inti the metaphorical backseat of the fucking zamboni machine heading straight for hells fiery gates WHILE I WAS MERELY TRYING TO WET MY NIN EXISTENT FLOWERS ON THE WINDOW SEAL
Having said that i can absolutely fucking tell that the characters themselves are holding the fucking thing together and it would work eith absolutely nonsensical plot SINCE I KNOW ALMOST NONE OF THE PLOT (UNFORTUNATELY I DO KNOW A BIT NOW SINCE IVE BEEN CONSUMING THE FUCKING FICS OF THIS FANDOM LIKE A MANIAC FOR THE PAST 2 DAYS) AND IM STILL LOSING MY SHIT OVER THEM
I have also fucking decided to start watching the fucking thing right fucking now even though im so fucking behind on several deadlines and assignments including a very important one thats due right thia fuckinh week and for which i have yet to write ANYTHING and which has to be about 80 fucking pages long by the end of it so yes i am truly having the fucking time of my life goddamn it i was gonna start watching the fucking thing literally last night but i fell fucking asleep at about 2am because of the all nighter i had pulled the previous night reading the fucking steddie fics and last night i fell asleep woth my fucking phone in my hand doing guess fucking what READING ON AO3 ONCE AGAIN
I literally only vaguely know how steve and eddie look and dustin a little bit and robin a little bit and thats IT but goddamn do i have strong feelings for like 9 characters i know fuckall about except for fanon
As for the goddamn fic that made me lose the last of my sanity it wasnt even a Proper h/c per se just had some h/c in it which was game enough for my tired ass to deem it a h/c fic in my exvaustion and insanity and i do NOT unfortunately remember the name of it but i do know that it was by a fellow whose usernmae is pukner which i somehow remember and it was about 40k long amd what fucking made me read it and LOSE it and i mean LOSE IT like fucking LOSE IT was that it had NONBINARY steve kedreeva it had fucking NONBINARY STEVE so yeah i truly have given uo all of my 2 drops of remaining sanity for the smallest possible little bit of serotonin i could possibly receive
KEDREEVA ITS GOTTEN SO FUCKING BAD I ENDED UP HAVING TO DITCH MY HANDMADE HANDPICKED SPOTIFY PLAYLIST FOR MY LAST FUCKING HYPERFIXATION EARLIER AND FUCKING LOOKING UP A STEDDIE PLAYLIST IM LOSING IT THAT BADLY
I blame you SO hard for everything you are literally never gonna stop hearing from me about this you shall deal with every single mental breakdown and Thought™ that i have because of stranger things from now on because youre the reason why im in this shitshow in the first place my fucking friends and acquaintances and EVERYONE both online AND IRL have been trying to get me to watch stranger things EVER SINCE IT FIRST CAME OUT and _THIS_ is what fucking does me in
Well, I found the fic in question, and a) there's more than one NB Steve written by this person and also they're on tumblr by the same name
and b) Hey....... anyone out there got some nonbinary steve harrington fics to rec? bonus if they're hurt/comfort fics apparently. If I'm going to be blamed, I'm gonna fuckin EARN IT :D Drop 'em in the replies or reblogs or askbox, happy to reblog tumblr links too.
c) heyyyy drop your Steddie playlists for anon let's make it worse as a FAMILY
#steddie#stranger things#steve harrington#anon asks#asks#I need you to know I laughed until I WHEEZED#I was coughing half the way to the vet today after reading this#I am 100% here to be cussed out over your every thought#and I will be obnoxious in return#people say nice things#I hope your friends are as excited as I am to watch you#have several breakdowns over this show#Anon (Delightful)
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About the Teigh
What should I say about myself past my tagline? "50 year old beach heathen. Lokean. Tea/coffee-drinker. Writer/photographer/hobby chef. Tarot/runes/dreams/psychometry. Genderfluid. Bisexual. Multi-fandom nerd. Why am I the only one who has that dream? They/Them," only gives so much, after all, and I mean, one of those things is a line from a movie probably a lot of you haven't seen because you're too young, and it doesn't have Taylor Swift in it.
If you've looked at my Tumblr, you know I'm a HUGE Marvel/MCU nerd. There are characters I hate (I have tags especially for you folks who love those characters so that you can filter out my rare venting about those characters posts), there are characters I like, there are characters I love, and then there are characters that I'd potentially open up a metaphorical vein for them. We all have those. We're nerds. We're on Tumblr, ffs.
I love tea. Yes I love coffee, too, but because of an rp character my name and personality has sort of become enmeshed with even just the notion of tea and all manner of tea paraphernalia. Teapots, tea cups, tea service, tea sets, tea, tea, tea, tea... *cue Monty Python singing the Spam song but it's tea*
I love photography. I'm a hobby photographer, and once I'm the hell out of Texas, I'll feel inspired to jump back into my photo game again.
I love cooking. What started out of spite because of my ex and a mutual friend telling me I'd starve to death without the ex to cook for me has turned into a creative outlet and passion. I know I cook more than my ex ever did, and with the exception of my picky, pissy SIL, most people love my cooking. So yay me.
I love animals, the beach (obviously - it's the place I most want to be), flowers, lots of different fandoms aside from Marvel (Hannibal, The Following, horror movies, Stephen King, period movies, literature, Shakespeare, Stranger Things, Peaky Blinders, Boardwalk Empire, ALL of the things that Mike Flanagan directs, BBC Sherlock, RDJ's Sherlock movies - the list is really kind of long, so I won't try to put everything down). I love pretty much all types of music (save Christian rock and quite a lot of pop singers, esp one particular one whose name I've had to filter out because so many of y'all love her).
I write fanfiction. I'm not a popular writer, but I'm damned good at what I do. For those who don't know, I'm Wolfsheart on AO3. I'm a huge sucker for kudos and comments. LOVE the comments, especially the positive ones. Hateful ones, not so much. I delete, block, and report people who send hateful shit. If you leave hateful shit without signing in, I'll report you as spam since AO3 hasn't provided a way to block and report 'guests'.
I've got side blogs on Tumblr that are mine alone and a few Tumblrs that I co-mod with one of my sibs from another crib, @scottxlogan. In case you're interested:
Mine:
Love is in the Earth (A blog about geology/stones/crystals covering both geological and metaphysical properties of them)
Mimir's Well (Tarot/Divination blog)
Lokiscarlip (Good Omens RP)
Mine and Scottxlogan's:
Marvelrarepairs (Marvel Rare Pairs, self-explanatory)
Starksummers (Also self-explanatory? Scott Summers/Tony Stark, or as we call them, Mechanical Boy Band)
Marvelrarepairs Bingo (Same as above but with Bingo cards!)
Scott Summers Bingo (A bingo for pro-Scott Summers folks)
Scogan Bingo (Scott Summers/Logan)
Oh yeah, here's a big thing. Super big heathen here. Nordic gods are my deity-drugs of choice. Loki's the top of the hierarchy. I read tarot, runes, psychometry. I'm your basic beach witch currently stuck in relatively Central Texas, trying to get this making money for me before my sister and I can escape Tex-ass and even after.
Look, I tag every post. I tag with what's in the post, if I put my negative opinions into the post (even the tags), I will always tag with "This is not a ***** friendly blog." Ex. "This is not a Jean Grey friendly blog," and "This is not a Peggy Carter friendly blog." If there's something I post that isn't tagged in a way that you'd like to filter it out, send me an Ask and I will put that tag into my routine so that you can filter it out. Tags are a courtesy, and I'm all about being courteous - kind of wish more folks on here were that courteous because there's some stuff I filter out and y'all don't tag so I'm stuck seeing it and have to block those posts.
Oh but here's the catch. I have Anon Asks shut off. I used to get a lot of hate asks and even death threats in anon because someone didn't like that I don't like a character they loved. That was pre-tagging days on here. So I shut off Anon Asks. Sorry, not sorry. You can send me asks, you'll be safe, and I won't like...eat your face or anything.
I only eat the rude.
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