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#(but i CAN say for years now I’ve been like ‘ok but??? DID SHE??’ mainly bc. again. i was OBSESSED with her )
cinematicnomad · 9 months
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i was just talking about my favorite professor from undergrad who taught me queer lit?? and so i decided to email her to catch up and in the middle just dropped the bomb that i’ve since come out as bi and i spun it as a joke and was like “haha if i could go back in time i’d probably write a v different final essay for your class!!”
anyway i am literally shaking lol why did i do that 😂😂
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themultifandomgal · 2 months
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Hi love, can i request one for peaky blinders? Where y/n is in school with Finn and he knows she’s struggling at home so he asks Tommy and the others if they can get her a job or something to help her out. So maybe she gets to clean at the Garrisons and/or maybe watch John’s kids. One night when he gets home late she stays and help him clean up and maybe something happens. Then he says he doesn’t need any help with the kids anymore. Cause he feels bad dragging her in to that life and taking care of his kids and all. But everytime they meet they can’t keep away from eachother.. they end up together maybe Tommy speaks some sense into John or have a talk with y/ns parents to let her marry John? You can do with this idea what you like? I would love to read it!
John Shelby- Can’t Stay Away
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Hey! So I changed it a little because of the ages hope that ok so instead of being in school with Finn YN went to school with John and they stayed good friends.
John and I have been friend since we were 4 years old when we started school. My home life wasn’t always great, my father was an alcoholic and my mother was abusive. Mrs Shelby ended up most evening cooking me meals, making sure I had clean clothes. When she passed away it broke all of us.
After wanting to leave my home, Polly gave me a place to live, but finding a job was very hard so I ended up marrying a man who I didn’t love, but he passed away during the war. Tommy got me a job at the Garrison and after Martha passed away I started helping John look after his kids, which caused me to start catching feelings for him. I’ve been doing this now nearly every other day, picking the kids up from school.
Today was no different. I just put them all to bed when John finally comes home
“Hey” I smile at him “have you eaten anything? There’s left overs….”
“I’m getting married” he blurts out making me stop walking towards the kitchen. I turn around with a frown on my face, my heart feels like it’s been crushed into thousands of tiny pieces 
“Oh” is all I can say
“It’s errr Lizzie. Lizzie Stark”
“What?” Lizzie? The woman who’s slept with all of the Shelby brothers, well all except Finn as he’s like 12
“Yeah so errr I don’t need to to help out anymore”
“Oh. Ok erm well I’ll erm see you round then” not really knowing what to say I give John a small smile “congratulations John. I hope she makes you happy” I quickly grab my coat and leave Johns house before he can see that my eyes are starting to tear up.
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Over the next few days YN tries her best to stay away from John, but she just can’t. Not only is that her best friend but she loves him. Tommy being so wise knows how YN feels, but he also knows John also has feelings for his best friend. He’s just being stubborn.
Tommy and his brothers are sat in the snug at the Garrison nursing a whiskey
“She’s gonna change”
“She’s not. I offered her money and she took it”
“Fuck!” John yells running his hands over his face
“But ya know who wouldn’t take the money… YN”
“Tom…”
“Tommys right John. That girl loves you. She has from the day you met”
“But she got married” John frowns at his Aunt who rolls her eyes
“Men… she married because you got married”
“But…”
“Yes you did the right thing, but did you love Martha?”
“Of course I did”
“Like the way you love YN?” Tommy ask
“I….”
“Your a fool if you marry Lizzie” Arthur comments downing his whiskey. Just then there’s a knock on the door and YN walks in
“Hey I’m just about to go, but is there anything else you want before I leave?” YN asks looking around, mainly looking at John
“No thank you love. We’ll see you tomorrow” Polly smiles. YN nods her head and says bye to everyone before walking out. Tommy looks at John who’s staring at the door of the snug. Tommy then looks at the door then back at John
“Bloody hell, go after her!” John quickly gets up and leaves the room as quick as he can. Tommy downs his whiskey “thank fuck for that”.
John runs down the street shouting YN’s name. YN stops and turns round confused to why John is runnin after her. Had she forgotten something?
“John?” but before anything else could be said Johns lips are immediately on YN’s. YN pulls back still feeling confused “why did you do that?”
“Because I’ve finally had some sense knocked into me. I love you YN. I can’t stay away from you. It’s you I want to marry, to help look after my kids and maybe even had kids with… that’s if you’ll let me?”
“What about Lizzie?” YN asks
“I’ll break it off with her, I promise, but…” John then gets down on one knee “will you marry me?”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear. Of course I will” with that John gets up and spins YN round, kissing her lips. Little did the couple know that Tommy had also left the Garrison hoping to catch a glimpse of the two. He won’t ever tell anyone, but he did smile when he saw his brother and YN happy in each other’s arms finally.
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shipcestuous-two · 19 days
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Fallout (spoilers!)
@bourbonthesecond: The new Fallout show has canon incest. The lead has been fooling around with her cousin but breaks it off for an arranged marriage. It's apparently enough of a feature in Vault life that they have laws against it but it seems to be fairly culturally accepted. He's heartbroken and rebounds with her best friend.
Anon:  I imagine you must have gotten a number of asks about this by now but!! I just watched the Fallout show with my partners and I'm not over the canonical cousin-incest that takes place in Vault 33 lmao. Episode 1 has characters casually talking about fooling around with their cousins as kids (before moving on to "real" relationships for the sake of procreation), and the protagonist's cousin is openly in love with her. She turns him down, but to me they felt like that had more chemistry than she did with her actual love interest lol.
I really enjoyed Fallout (a couple things about it make me scratch my head but I enjoyed the ride either way) and I’ve seen it twice now. 
It’s clear that, at least in Vault 33, fooling around with your cousin is no big deal. I’m not familiar with the games, so help me out here if you know for sure, but the vaults seem to have 100-200 people if they’re full. While I can see how that would lend itself to cousins fooling around, from lack of selection, it’s also not like there wasn’t anyone else she could be with. 
Lucy states that her reproductive organs are intact and she maintains good hygiene, but she hasn’t been able to find a suitable marriage partner in their vault. 
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So, except for Chet being her cousin, and she agrees that cousins shouldn’t have children together, she considers him a suitable marriage partner. (Given their limited gene pool, cousins really shouldn’t be having children together in that context, probably. But how long before they’re all cousins anyway? Maybe it’s a pointless delaying of the inevitable.)
She tells her friend Steph that after ten years of “cousin stuff”, she’s ready for the real thing. It’s unclear if she and Chet were having sex, it kind of sounds like they weren’t doing the kind of stuff that could have gotten her pregnant. But ten years! That’s a long time. 
This whole thing was a little strange, because it’s played for laughs, but there’s just a little more to it than that. Chet is in love with Lucy, it wasn’t just fooling around for him. And Lucy says that everyone knows he’s in love with her. No one cares about that either, but they all follow the rule that she and Chet can’t marry. So that was interesting point #1. Interesting point #2 is that Chet is one of the main characters in the Vault 33. He’s secondary character overall. He could have easily just been a throw away character never mentioned again. Interesting point #3 is that Chet being in love with Lucy gets mentioned again, a couple of episodes later. In a rather sad way, when Norm suggests that Chet came with him to investigate Vault 32 because he’s still in love with Lucy and being with Norm reminds him of Lucy. It’s like, ok, make me cry. Why is this so sad!
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While it isn’t discussed explicitly after that, it’s pretty clear that Chet isn’t happy with Steph. For more than one reason, but probably mainly because he’s still in love with Lucy. 
I assume, given the circumstances, that Chet is the maternal cousin of Lucy and Norm. While Chet and Norm spent quite a few scenes together, I didn’t like that they never referenced that they were cousins, too. This is a tangent, but when Chet was sent to live in Vault 32, Norm called him a coward instead of being like, “Bye, Cousin. I’ll miss you!” But I think he was just bad at showing that he felt abandoned and that now he would be alone with all of his questions. But what I’m really getting at is that Norm had lost his mother, his father, and Lucy, and then his cousin gets sent to live in the other vault and they’ll only see each other every three years, if even. 
I also wanted to note that Norm calls Chet a coward, which was really hypocritical since we know Norm feels guilty about hiding during the big fight, but which also isn’t fair because when Lucy wanted to go to the surface, Chet wanted to go with her and she had to drug him to stop him. 
I really can’t believe that the show has a tortured canon cousins relationship, with sympathetic unrequited love and the two of them forbidden from marrying. 
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While of course Lucy has a canon love interest on the surface and likely won’t be back to Vault 33 anytime soon, it is kind of fun that her arranged marriage, her “real thing” ended up being a man who tried to kill her. It’s like, Chet is looking pretty good right now, isn’t he? 
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canirove · 1 year
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Bluebell | Chapter 12
Author's note: Next week there won't be new chapters of Bluebell because I will be posting something special for Christmas 👀 But we'll be back ready for the New Year 😁
Previous chapter | Next chapter
Masterlist
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"Do you seriously need to go to the hospital now? It is snowing!"
"That's what the doctor said, mum. I can't wait."
"And can't Rúben take you?"
"He already told you he was busy, that he had family business to attend to."
He said it this morning, when he tried to sneak out without being seen, but my mum caught him. Mainly because she had gone into my room last night, and saw us sleeping together.
"But I don't trust calling a taxi. What about Mason?"
"He has his whole family at home with him, he probably is busy too."
And it's more than likely that the rumour about me and Rúben leaving together last night, already reached him. Lindsey texted me about it early in the morning, so if her mother knows...
"And are you sure they'll attend you today? It's Christmas Eve!"
"I'm going in as an emergency. They are always open for that."
"I just... Can't you wait a bit longer?" she insists.
"I've already waited long enough, mum. But what if I call Dean? The mechanic? He has a 4x4, knows the area, and my father used to like him a lot according to what I've been told. I'll be safe with him."
"Ok, fine. But I still think you should wait until the snow stops."
"Urgh" I say, rolling my eyes.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        
"Mum, that's Dean. I'm leaving!"
"Did you charge your phone?" she asks.
"Yes, mum. My phone is charged, and I have snacks and a water bottle with me. I'll be fine."
"Call me when you arrive, ok?"
"I will. Love you, mum" I say before going outside and running towards the car, snow all around me.
"You still have some snowflakes on your hair."
"Mason?" I say, finally looking up. I was so focused on running and not slipping, and then making sure I didn't get the inside the car covered in snow, that I hadn't looked at the person who was driving. "Why are you here? Where is Dean?"
"He had some last minute things to do, and gave me a call, asked me if I would take you to the hospital. What happened?"
"I may have broken my finger" I say, showing it to him.
"So rude, put that down" he chuckles. Because it was my middle finger the one that got crushed. "Do you mind that it is me driving you?"
"No, no, it's fine. Do you mind driving me?"
"I actually am glad to leave the house. They are driving me nuts."
"Too used to living alone and do whatever you want?"
"Exactly. You know how much I love walking around the house wearing just my underwear, and that is over now."
"Poor you" I say with a teasing smile.
"Indeed" he replies, also smiling. "Should we go before this gets worst?"
"Yeah, we should. I don't want my mum to worry more than she already is. Can I put some music?"
"Go ahead" he says, starting to drive.
"Her? Again?" I say when Taylor Swift starts playing. "Mason, is there anything you would like to share with the class?"
"Ok, fine. I like her music."
"Wow... Just... Wow. And you are telling me this on Christmas Eve."
"Merry Christmas" he says with that smile that is all dimples.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        
"So you are telling me... That you actually broke your finger... With a bin's lid?" Mason laughs.
"It was one of the big ones, ok? The heavy ones. And Rúben scared me because you people in this town love doing it, and..."
"Rúben" he scoffs. "Why didn't he come here with you? It was his fault."
"He was busy with some family stuff."
"Are you back together?"
"What? No. I'm single. Completely. Dixie is the only man in my life right now."
"The rumour about you getting back together is already out, tho. They saw you last night."
"Yeah, well. They are wrong this time."
"Good" Mason says while I follow him to the car.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        
"Do you think we'll be back home before it gets dark?" I ask Mason. The snow hasn't stopped, and the road is getting worse and worse, making us go very slow.
"I don't know" he says as his phone starts ringing. "Can you check who it is?"
"Tom."
"Put the speaker."
"Mase, hi" Tom says over the phone.
"Hello, bro. What's up?"
"I was told that you are out of town? Went to the hospital with Miss Daisy?"
"You too, Tom?" I say.
"Oh, hi there. Sorry. Anyway, where are you? Are you ok?"
"She's ok, just a broken finger courtesy of our Mayor."
"What?"
"It's a long story" I say, giving Mason a murderous look.
"Anyway, I guess you guys still are in the car, right?"
"Yep."
"Well, we've had to close the road because of all the snow, we are waiting for the snowplough. So until then, you can't come in."
"We can't? What are we supposed to do then?" I ask.
"I have an idea" Mason says. "Tom, give us a call when the road is clean."
"I will. Take care, guys" Tom says, hanging up.
"What are we going to do?"
"Just trust me, ok?" Mason says.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        
"Won't we be bothering him?"
"For the millionth time... No, we won't" Mason says, rolling his eyes. Turns out that we were close to Mr. James farm, and Mason decided to pay him a visit and wait there until the road is clean. The man lives alone, so hopefully he'll be happy to have some company on Christmas Eve.
"Oh, hello you two" Mr. James says when he opens the door. "What are you doing here?"
"Hiding from the snow. Would you mind if we come in?" Mason asks.
"Of course not! Come, come."
"Thank you for letting us stay here, Mr. James" I say, sitting next to the fire.
"My pleasure. I don't have much to offer you on a night like this, just some chicken with potatoes on the oven."
"That sounds like heaven right now." My chocolate bars were good, but I need real food right now.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        
"Still no news from Tom?"
"Nope" Mason says.
"You can always stay here for the night. Though you'll have to share a bed, I only have one clean and ready" Mr. James says, trying to hide a smile.
"We'll wait a bit longer" I say.
"Mason, why don't you come with me so I can show you which one it is? I'm going to bed myself."
"Yes, of course. Keep an eye on the phone" he says, handing it to me.
"I will. Good night, Mr. James. And thank you for everything."
"My pleasure" he says before disappearing with Mason.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        
"You are falling sleep."
"I'm fine" I say, changing my position on the sofa, my back starting to ache.
"Why don't we wait on the room? The bed looked so comfy."
"We aren't gonna do anything, you've been warned."
"I can think with other part of my body that aren’t my dick, you know?" he says. "Are you coming or not?"
"I guess, yes" I say as I get up, all my muscles already thanking me for it.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        
"I had forgotten that your feet always are freezing cold, Mason."
"Sorry" he chuckles. "But I'm wearing socks."
"Doesn't feel like it."
"You know, since it looks like we are gonna spend the night here... Can we... You know..."
"I told you nothing was going to happen."
"Sex no, I know. But cuddling?" he says, giving me those puppy eyes I can't say no to.
"Fine" I say while hugging him with one arm and one leg, just like we used to do all the time when we were together.
"I've missed this" he says while playing with my hair. If I was a cat, I would definitely be purring right now.
"Me too" I say, my eyes starting to close.
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Ok I have a really sad one but what about mattys been home for like a year after baby was born and you both agree that you're ready for the boys to go back on tour. You facetime every evening before baby goes to bed and usually they're playing with toys or sometimes matty reads them their bedtime story over facetime. Well this time baby decides to take their first steps on facetime and walk over to Matty and he is equally crying with joy/pride and sobbing because he's missing out on milestones and feels like the worst father ever
🌷🌷
Awwwww babyyyy 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Matty has definite got into a somewhat silly habit of buying doubles of the children’s books that he gets his baby cuz he wants to have copies with him when he goes on tour. So that whenever he calls, he can let his baby choose whichever book they gotta read for bedtime. He sings a little lullaby after and everything.
And on days off in between shows, or in the tour bus, or their way between cities etc he like calls just randomly if he knows his wife is gonna be home and asks to be put on FaceTime and have the phone propped up somewhere in the living room so he can feel like he’s there with them. He just hangs out and watches his kid play and eat dinner and play with mommy.
So, one day, they’re both to put baby down for the night. But the kid is a bit too hyper to wanna go to bed. There are toys strewn on the floor everywhere, and they’ve gotten into this habit…you know when kids are first learning to walk, how they’ll first learn to use the edges of furniture to move around? Like they’ll hold on the edge of the coffee table and then the side of the couch or something to be stood up and sort of slinking around? Yeah, so it’s mainly that. Just baby trying to be brave and move around with the assistance of the furniture and whatever is available. For a while, both parents attention is on the child as they try to mentally and emotionally prepare for a difficult bedtime. They know there will be resistance. Maybe some tears. Matty keeps saying “two more minutes and then we really have to go to sleep. Mommy’s tired she deserves some quiet time.”
Then, the conversation kinda drifts to something Mundane. Like, Maybe Matty is talking to his wife about what him and Hann did that day or what sightseeing he wants to do once they get to their next city. But as they’re chatting, they both notice baby start to let go of the edge of the table and walk independently. They’re both trying to alert each other to what’s going on but they’re too excited to form full sentences so it’s just like “matty! Oh my god!!! Walking!! It’s happening!” And a bunch of squeaking from both of them. When baby makes it to the other end of the couch (just a few small steps later) they both clap and yell out “yaaaayyyy you did it babbyyyy” and start making up silly songs about their kids first steps and hype them up.
But as soon as they stop, and instead of complete silence, Matty’s sniffling fills the air. Mom is teary eyed too so at first she thinks it’s just happy tears. But then she looks at the screen and matty is full on crying. She makes a joke about how he’s the most emotional person she’s ever met but that’s okay because she finds his soft gentle side really attractive.
Matty eventually shakes his head and tries to wipe his tears with the back of his hand. “It’s not that…it’s just” and he pulls into the camera view a little onesie of the baby’s that he’d stolen to take on tour. He’s thinking about how by the time he gets back 6 months from now baby will have outgrown the onesie. “We’re gonna need to buy baby shoes now. And not those cute decorative ones. Real ones. For walking. A dad should fuckin be there for his child’s first shoes!” It dawns on him that this is his fate now. Baby’s first steps, first shoes, first words, soon it’s gonna be first day of school, and recitals, and birthdays, and what’s next? Graduations too? “Fuck, I’m not saying I don’t love my job. I’ve very very fortunate to still be doing this decades later. But….i just don’t think it’s fair. Parents shouldn’t have to work. Like ever.”
She tried to comfort him and tell him that she works too and she feels bad that her kid has to spend any amount of time without her during the day. That sometimes she sits at work, checking the time, knowing that usually when nap time is over, and that her child is going to wake up to someone who isn’t her makes her sad. “But it’s good for kids to see their parents work! We’re setting a good example. Ambition and drive are important! Besides, you’re here! You saw this and just cuz it’s over a phone screen, doesn’t mean it’s any less memorable. Do you really think that you’re going to forget the day that you saw your little baby take their first steps????”
“Well, I won’t now. Cuz it’s also always going to be the day I wept like my little baby over the phone a thousand miles away from you.”
“Tell you what? We can buy the new shoes together. You go to the store and pick them out. Mail them.”
“It’s not the same thing as-“
“Fine, fine. We’ll stay a few extra days the next time we fly in? Maybe we can take a trip? Every shoe store in town. We’ll test them out and everything.”
“Oh yes, yes! Do you think they still make squeaky ones?”
“Those cause headaches, Matty.”
“Or the laser ones. You know the ones that light up? Oh I used to love these on Louis. Just a little kid wobbling about shooting laser beams from their feet.”
“As long as they don’t make any disruptive noises-“
“Adidas trainers. The most comfortable. Hey, let’s all get matching ones. All three of us. It’d be cute!”
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emerystellar · 8 months
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OKAY @bubblingacid TAGGED ME IN A TAG GAME THINGY BUT I FORGOT TO DO IT TILL NOW and the og post was really long so here’s a fresh print of bel air. Just for easy :) ANYWAY HETE
— 3 ships. ooough idk.. azicrow bc crying always consistently, sportarobbie REPRESENT ⛹️, and and uhhh petrigrof :3 even though i don’t know a ton abt betty yet the whole madokacore thing she’s seemed to do Has my fucking Attention/pos
— first ship??? i have No idea bro. idk. if selfshipping counts i wanted to marry special agent oso when i was 4 and then lightning mcqueen when i was 5. wrote letters proposing to them both times. and then i wanted to be in a polycule with the angry birds (don’t ask i have no fucking idea why) if selfshipping doesn’t count then mario and peach if we wanna go way way back
— last song- the fool on the hill by the beatles (from my simon petrikov playlist) WHIHC i can give the link if you waaaaant bc i like it . it’s so cherry-picked but i like it ok.. hahaa send Porfessional Halp
— last movie?? ooh. idk i mainly watch movies w my partner on sundays but we haven’t done it the past couple weeks due to personal reasons? so? i don’t Actually remember .. that’s eerie ANYWAY i’m gonna say i WANT to rewatch rudolph’s shiny new year i’ve been thinking abt it and it’s my birthday movie (i’m a new year’s eve baby)
— currently reading OH SHIT MY LIBRARY BOOKS ARE DUEEEEE FUCK (i was gonna read ana so boys but i kept not having a chance to read it and now i FORGOT ABOUT IT can you tell i’m really fucking forgetful lol)
— currently watching: fionna and cake bc fuck. and then also the cherry-picked adventure time episodes that have to do with simon’s lore <333333 i’m. there’s a pattern here
— currently consuming. i need to get a glass of water but i’m procrastinating. i did just have some steak flavored chips n raisin bread tho which were very good
— currently craving?? anything honestly i’m a hongy little sasquatch but taco bell exists as like a constant underlying craving in me always so. that lol. otherwise i really want mochi i haven’t had it in ages
ANYWAY IMM DONE OVERSHARING LOLOL i’m just gonna tag a million of my mutuals
@clockw0rkvaudeville gets special cuz they’re my baby7 forever smile
@stuffronisays I HAVENT HEARD FROM YOU IN AGES WHATRE YOU UP TO
@wholesome-cryptid and @zombearzy just cuz i know y’all enjoy ask games
@corvids-corner @formerlyfandy @whyismangososour hi guys y’all r my go to for stuff like this also cuz i see ur names in my notifs consistently
and @implacabledino @spiritterrarium we are freshly mutuals n i wanna know more abt you !! SO BOOM
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dustedmagazine · 1 year
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Ian Mathers’ 2022: Are you with me even now?
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For the third year in a row, Low are part of my reflection on the year that just happened. But this time I don’t want them to be. They didn’t put out a record, I didn’t see them play live (virtually or not) even once. I don’t really want to spend a ton of time going over Mimi Parker’s death and the reactions to it (including my own); I can say this is the one time ever in my life that mourning an artist whose work I love felt anything at all like mourning someone I actually knew. For at least a month I thought about it all the time, read about it constantly, watched and listened to everything I could get my hands on, talked about it often. It felt ridiculous and necessary. I don’t know what happens with my favorite band now; I mainly just hope her family and other loved ones are doing as ok as possible. One wonderful and horrible thing about the reactions is that they were both more numerous and more heartfelt than I would have guessed; up until a few years ago running into other fans of their work felt a lot more rare. 30 years into what I personally think stacks up as one of the greatest creative runs in all of popular music (I’ve been ringing the bell about Low doing better, more vital and interesting work than other bands [x] years into their career since… 2007’s The Great Destroyer at least), I’m glad that people were noticing what they did. The bittersweetness of that, that at least by the end Low were a lot more widely and deeply loved than I would have guessed... I hope she knew that too. How many artists have passed before they made their Double Negative and HEY WHAT? We can never really know the extent of what the world misses out on when someone dies.
Other than that horrible pall weighing down the end of the year, though, at least on the small scale 2022 was pretty good to me. The world in general continues to feel more and more fraught (here in Canada too!) and we’re still not properly dealing with a pandemic. With us being an immunocompromised household… when you see people talking about leaving behind the chronically ill, it absolutely includes those of us who, pre-COVID, nobody could tell weren’t “normal” or “healthy.” I did get to a very few shows this year, masked. But mostly this was a third year in a row of just… never going out or doing most of the things we used to do. Both my wife and I switched jobs to positions that are both much more satisfying and important to us and, not incidentally, quite a bit better paying. By the end of 2022 we’ve hit the first time in our adult lives where (despite how little it would take to knock us back down) we’re not experiencing constant financial stress.
I could have guessed this would change my relationship with music, but honestly, would have underestimated the degree to which that would be true. I’m happier with my writing this year, both frequency and end result, although there’s always more work to do on those fronts. And without feeling like I was trying very hard to do so, I somehow listened to 170 new LPs and EPs over the course of the year. And I found a lot to like, too: my 2022 playlist in Swinsian (which I tried out and then switched to when the Apple Music program started having weird glitches and hours of tech support couldn’t help at all) currently has a little over 1000 tracks in it, equaling over 3 days of music. There’s still a near-infinite amount of stuff out there I’ve never touched or even heard of. But more than ever, it feels like I covered my particularly bailiwick(s) as thoroughly as could be expected of someone who still has a day job and relatively normal life.
This increased volume of input doesn’t necessarily make me think 2022 was a better (or worse!) year for music than any other, but it does lead to a list of records that I feel more strongly about. There are plenty of good records I am keeping in full that just didn’t make it onto my list(s), especially since I’m sticking with a top 40 like I did in 2021. In years where I’ve ‘only’ managed to check out 80-90 records, even a top 20 often covers just about everything I’ve solidly enjoyed from the year. In 2022, 40 records isn’t even half of that group. It has made me reflect a bit on just how sustainable this all is — do I just keep accumulating dozens of records I love every year I’m here? How often am I going to go back to any of them? And sure enough, one thing all this new listening has done has drastically slowed progress on my now years-long effort to corral and organize my existing collection. But I do feel strongly enough about what I loved this year, both from existing favorites and acts totally new to me, that I’m probably just going to kick those cans a little further down the road. I’m also mulling over how, if at all, I want to change my listening in the new year, not least because one of the major ways I discover new things ended in 2022 (RIP, The Singles Jukebox).
As I’ve mentioned before in these roundups, I don’t necessarily feel like every year these days I have an “album of the year” (and am generally loathe to try and rank things). This year I can’t decide if I have one or two; Cloakroom’s Dissolution Wave was one of my most anticipated and ever since I first got the promo back in January, I’ve been listening to it very regularly. One of the things I like about music writing (at least the way I do it) is that it forces me to listen to records a lot more than I would even if I otherwise adore them, and at this point I have an almost Pavlovian joy reaction to the beginning of “Lost Meaning.” For a long time, it seemed like it stood alone for me, and I think it still does, but I need to give at least an honorable mention to Let’s Eat Grandma’s Two Ribbons. It didn’t have the immediate impact on me the Cloakroom did, even though that first half, especially, is immediately ingratiating. But over months I found myself going back to it more and more and in another year, I could easily see it having the unquestioned top spot. I’ve seen neither in most year-end stuff, which makes me a bit sad.
So here are the lists; my 40 favorite LPs, followed by 5 EPs, 5 reissues and/or compilations, 5 releases from Aidan Baker (which makes up not even half of the releases from his various projects!), and 20 ‘loose’ songs either from records I liked but who don’t make it into the main list, or where this song was really the only one I liked, or just ones that came out on their own. If all the little extra lists seem like cheating, well, they kind of are. But this was as narrowed down as I could get it. All of the lists are in alphabetical order, and for all but the songs list any links are to where I’ve written about them here at Dusted. For the songs, partly because so many of them do have music videos (and I love music videos), I’ve actually just provided a link to the song on YouTube should you be so moved. Last year I ended by saying I hoped we’d all continue to get better at taking care of ourselves and each other in 2022. On a micro level, I can say that did happen for us, and many of our loved ones. I hope as much as possible it did for you too, and we can all find the strength to keep at it in 2023.
40 LPs
Aarktica — We Will Find the Light
Alvvays — Blue Rev
Aoife O'Donovan — Age of Apathy
Beyoncé — RENAISSANCE
Billow Observatory — Stareside
Black Ox Orkestar — Everything Returns
The Body & OAA — Enemy of Love
Bruno Bavota & Chantal Acda — A Closer Distance
Carly Rae Jepsen — The Loneliest Time
Charli XCX — Crash
Chelsea Jade — Soft Spot
Cloakroom — Dissolution Wave
Earthless — Night Parade of One Hundred Demons
Eric Cheneaux — Say Laura
Esmerine — Everything Was Forever Until It Was No More
Ethel Cain — Preacher’s Daughter
Fujiya & Miyagi — Slight Variations
Hagop Tchaparian — Bolts
Hatchie — Giving the World Away
High Vis — Blending
Horsegirl — Versions of Modern Performance
Hot Chip — Freakout/Release
Jessica Moss — Galaxy Heart
Kali Malone — Living Torch
Let’s Eat Grandma — Two Ribbons
Locrian — New Catastrophism
Loop — Sonancy
loscil — The Sails p.1/p.2
Michael Beharie — Promise
Oneida — Success
Party Dozen — The Real Work
SASAMI — Squeeze
Spiritualized — Everything Was Beautiful
Szun Waves — Earth Patterns
Use Knife — The Shedding of Skin
Vince Staples — RAMONA PARK BROKE MY HEART
Water Damage — Repeater
Wet Leg — Wet Leg
Winged Wheel — No Island
Winter — What Kind of Blue Are You?
5 EPs
Gillian Stone — Spirit Photographs
Greet Death — New Low
Picastro — I’ve Never Met a Stranger
Sun’s Signature — Sun’s Signature
Trauma Ray — Transmissions
5 Reissues/Compilations
Broadcast — Maida Vale Sessions
Laddio Bolocko — '97​-​'99
Les Rallizes Dénudés —’77 LIVE
Prolapse — John Peel session 20.08.94/John Peel session 08.04.97
Wire — Not About to Die
5 Releases From Aidan Baker
Aidan Baker — The Evelyn Tables
Aidan Baker — Tenebrist
Baker Ja Lehtisalo — Crocodile Tears
Nadja — Labyrinthine
Nadja — Nalepa
20 More Songs
Animal Collective — “Prester John”
Boy Harsher ft Lucy - Cooper B. Handy — “Autonomy”
Caroline Polachek — “Billions”
Chappell Roan — “Casual”
Death Cab for Cutie — “I Won’t Give Up on You”
Diatom Deli — “False Alarm”
Duke Deuce ft GloRilla — “Just Say That”
Flume ft Caroline Polachek — “Sirens”
HAAi ft. Jon Hopkins — “Baby, We’re Ascending”
Ibibio Sound Machine — “Protection From Evil”
Miči & Sun-EL Musician — “Respond”
MUNA — “Anything But Me”
Porridge Radio — “Back to the Radio”
Spoon — “Wild”
Steve Lacy — “Bad Habit”
Storefront Church ft Phoebe Bridgers — “Words”
Stromae — “L’enfer”
Sudan Archives — “Selfish Soul”
Yeah Yeah Yeahs ft Perfume Genius — “Spitting Off the Edge of the World”
yeule — “Bites on My Neck”
Ian Mathers
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cwarscars · 1 year
Text
𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑.
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𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.  han or sexy bitch w/e u prefer honestly
𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬.   she/her
𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. discord ( ims are ok but staring at the lil box makes me wanna die & i ALWAYS lose track of my ims, especially longer messages ). my discord is always available on request !
𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). heid has been active for a long while now, kaz is VERY active right now & krauser/volgin are nudging me for attention ( they can be found here ! )
𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞/𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 (𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬/𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬?). i’ve been writing fanfics since i was a whippersnapper ( around fifteen odd years ) but i’ve been roleplaying for around twelve on tumblr. 
𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝. mainly just tumblr for longer roleplays. i use discord sometimes ( but find it hard to keep track of ) and wire in the past. i like tumblr though for roleplaying, it’s easy and the layout is nice. especially for longer stuff. less pressure than discord, too, i find. 
𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞.   the friends we made along the way owo. no, really. i’ve had a lot of nice experiences with making friends online while roleplaying. that’s been really fun. in general, there’s been moments in fandoms and stuff that have just been hilarious. i love the sense of community in some fandoms & the connections you form with people over something as silly as a dumb au or character opinion. those sides of tumblr rp are the best sides. 
𝐫𝐩 𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 / 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬.  there are a few things that immediately turn me off in fandom / rpc. i cannot stand elitism, especially when it comes to canon characters. i have seen people be put down /so many times/ by people who claim to ‘know the characters’ and have put themselves atop a pedestal of ‘best fan ever’ - it’s fucking lame. you’re a full grown adult and you’re shitting on people for not writing a fictional character the way you’d write them. everyone’s allowed opinions and you’re allowed not to like other people’s portrayals, but the elitism by some people just makes me cringe. it’s never needed. 
another thing is the people obviously in fandom for likes / attention. they strive for no real connection with peeps and just want the dopamine of getting a bunch of likes on a post. they never post ic shit and just constantly make posts like starter calls / attention calls. it’s become really popular in the last couple years and i’m not a fan of it. 
finally, graphics / aesthetics. i say this as someone who makes this shit; it is not the be all and end all of rping. you don’t have to look super fancy to be good. a lot of my favourite writers on tumblr have simple aesthetic / graphics. ultimately, people can style their blogs however they want but when people turn their noses up at others cause you don’t have the latest in deep fried psds with super hard to find links and a theme that makes your eyes scream, that’s sad.
𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭. i don’t mind ! i like them all but certainly lean toward angst. i find fluff is fun to do with characters who are more lighthearted / cutesie and smut is very one-note for me. i can write a couple smut scenes in quick succession and then i’m burnt out ( two pump chump LOL ). i find smut can outstay it’s welcome very fast so that’s why it’s so hit & miss for me. angst, i find fun but it depends on the muse & setting. 
𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬. both. i like answering memes because anything can come from a meme. a whole au or storyline can be spawned from a silly meme or a line of dialogue from music / a film. it’s why i try to write longer replies to memes, it’s because i try to think of a setting / why they’re in a certain situation. in terms of plots, i only like plots that have an actual plot. i don’t mean setting. i mean plot. saying our character’s are astronauts for this thread is good and all but - where are they going? what happens in the end? how did they get there? i like plots that are FULLY fleshed out and don’t like ‘winging’ plots. i find it way easier to write and enjoy a thread if i know the trajectory it’s on rather than just saying fuck it and writing whatever springs to mind. i should have mentioned above but one of my biggest bugbears while plotting is how everyone seems so reluctant to plot a beginning / middle / end to threads.
𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬. either. i don’t know how people write so much all of the time and find myself honestly intimidated by super long threads. i try to write as much will come to mind. i don’t like one liners much because i hate making icons ( lol rip ) - so, like 2-4 paras is usually pretty comfy for me. 
𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞.  it’s 6am right now & i’ve written like 6 ask response and this lol. i write at weird times cause it’s when my house is quiet & i pretty much need silence to write. >.<
𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). LOL. umm, i’ve said before that i think i’m as stubborn and blunt as heid but i try not to be rude / nasty like he is. in terms of my other lads, i’m similar to gladio in that i can be a little self-righteous and i guess i’m like kaz in a lot of my morals / beliefs. but otherwise, i’m not a sadist and i try not to be a villain so hopefully i’m not too much like them lol 
tagged by: nobody, i YANKED it
tagging: @alphateamsfinest @poeticphoenix @ubcs @infernocharged @witchcraftandburialdirt @pitgritted​ 
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menalez · 7 months
Note
Hi, I’m the “advice anon”, thank you for answering (oh my god that sounded like I am in a TV ad). Anyways, I explained the events here with another blog:
https://www.tumblr.com/letmywingsdown/732396002452078592/previous-anon-because-im-not-confident-enough
Again, thank you for, you know, letting me take your time haha <3
The thing is today I was arguing with my boyfriend. I’ll admit it was my fault because I initiated it for some very irrelevant dumb shit because I’ve been in a horrible mood lately. I knew I had to apologise once he began explaining to me how shitty it was, and I was about to but I couldn’t bring myself to actually say the words because I have a huge ego problem. So he smacked the left side of my face, my left cheek, because I just would remain stubborn and bitchy and not looking his way when he talked. It wasn’t harsh or violent and it didn’t hurt; just the wrist and upper side of the hand, quite quickly like when you have to tell off a kid. But it really caught me off guard and I stood there frozen. It feels like a boundary violation and when I brought up the subject to my mom (w/o saying it happened to me), she agreed. My bf started apologising right once I said how fucked up it was and I think it’s a genuine apology, but what am I supposed to do? I was getting on his nerves basically on purpose, and now I want to pretend I am the victim of the situation? But I was seriously just about to tell him I regretted making a fight up from thin air.. and stuff like that has happened twice before, once in my shoulder, the other one on my scalp. He continues apologising and I really want to forgive him because he is a lovely guy and the best thing that has ever happened to me, but how am I supposed to call myself a feminist and stuff when I am compliant once my boyfriend “beats” me? My father told me only the other day that women who stay in abusive relationships while knowing about the red flags are stupid. I disagree with him, but am I stupid? Or am I just thinking about this too much? I have childhood trauma, physical too, and I am unsure if I am overreacting because of being triggered rather than because it was objectively wrong to hit me.He seriously is a very nice guy and I have never felt as loved and I know his love is genuine, but this has left me unsettled and, as I said, it is not the first time. Even those two aforementioned events aside, there have been very off putting things in our relationship, like him watching porn and being into cnc (we never acted on them, just dirty talk); though I think the latter might have been my fault because I was the one mainly in it (again, trauma). This was years ago and our sexual life is very healthy now, and I know for a fact he despises porn as much as I do. So what should I do? He is the only person I have left because I am a lonely loser and our connection is so sincere but at the same time I don’t feel ensured that he would never ever harm me. Is it my trauma induced paranoia, or my intuition?
anon, no this is not at all ok. leave. please just leave. you might feel loved and he might have some good sides but there is literally no excuse for hitting you and he's clearly slowly escalating it further and further. abusers often slowly start pushing the boundaries of their partners and i fear that is what he's doing here. and him being into cnc is absolutely a red flag! ur making a lot of excuses for him which is normal, i did the same with my ex and it allowed her to take advantage of me and abuse me until she had all that she wanted from me. its not worth it. abusers like this often have a 'nice' side and will lovebomb you and have phases where they treat you well.. it's ultimately not worth it, at all. i know it's easier said than done, but just bc you haven't had better yet doesn't mean you never will, don't settle for him just because you want to be loved and because you think you can't get better: you can and its not worth it! take it from someone who DIDN'T leave, it's not worth it. you just feel used up and like you betrayed yourself for nothing in the end.
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Sibling Salvation.
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Makoto, hey! What...happened?
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*sigh*
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Sorry, for rushing off like that...I just...
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Wait...where did everybody go?
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Huh? Oh uh...Kaede and Shuichi went to see Rantaro. They wanted to talk to him about their robot pal, Mii-Yu.
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And Toko...?
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She uh...went looking for Akeru. 
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I’m just waiting for Maya to come back so I can ask for a refill.
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I see...
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Can I uh...sit here?
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...
*Komaru nods, and Makoto sits down opposite her.
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So...what did Kuripa say?
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He said no...and his answer seems pretty final.
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I’m starting to think that maybe you were right. Maybe I wouldn’t have been able to convince him to change his path.
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Well...it was still a better solution than manhandling him. Seriously, I don’t know what I was thinking...
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...
*There is an awkward silence.
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...Makoto...Can we talk?
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Yes. Please.
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Thanks...Listen I’m gonna be the first to say it.
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I’m sorry for everything I did. Knocking you out, locking you up, fighting you...And not believing in you.
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And also...You got super angry at me after Emilia Feng’s death. I don’t know what I did but...I think it may have something to do with Mukuro, right?
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...
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If that is the case, then...I’m sorry for whatever I said too...If it’s too painful to talk about, we don’t have to.
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I’m just saying, I’ve been thinking about the reasons you said what you did. But it doesn’t matter...
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I was so caught up in my own feelings on the matter that I didn’t think what yours might be...and when you admitted that you had ordered Kuripa to kill Feng, I lost it...
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I was upset...because I never thought my brother would be capable of such a thing.
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No, Komaru...I should be the one to apologize.
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I still don’t approve of your actions, but I understand that the only reason you did what you did is because I put you in a position that you couldn’t handle. And the only reason you fought me is because I attacked you.
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And...before, after the battle against Feng...You were right to have a go at me.
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...
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Ugh...I’m disgusted with my inability to express myself...but if you want the answers, I’d be happy to give them to you. In truth. In full. Will you allow me to explain?
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Of course. 
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Alright...First of all, I’ll come clean. After Kuripa killed Feng, I told you and everyone else that the reason was because he was following my orders, and that Feng’s execution was my responsibility.
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That...wasn’t true.
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Huh!?
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Kuripa acted of his own accord, just as he had done previously with Haiji Towa. I had no sway on his actions.
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But...why would you lie about that...!?
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For many years now, Mukuro and Kuripa have remained by my side thick and thin, doing odd jobs for me and helping be thrive as Branch 14′s chief.
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I already lost Mukuro...I didn’t want to risk Kuripa getting into trouble in case I lost him too...So I took the blame for the incident to protect him...
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But now I realize, in doing so...I caused grief for everyone around me. My friends...My wife...and especially my sister. 
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It was one of the worst decisions I’d ever made. I shouldn’t have prioritized Kuripa’s feelings over my own family. I’m sorry.
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Hey, it’s alright. You told me in the station that you considered Kuripa your family too. I’m assuming you meant that.
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Yeah, I did mean that, but...
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Then it’s not unreasonable you would lie to protect him. I do agree it was a poor decision, but it’s not like any of mine lately have been much better. I’m just saying I understand your intent.
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But the next time something like this happens, please just be honest with me, ok? That way we won’t be at each other’s throats like this again.
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Of course. I promise from the bottom of my heart.
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Was there something else you wanted to say?
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Yes. You were wondering what it was that you said that got me so angry at you in the camper. 
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It was mainly because you brought up Mukuro.
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Her death really got to you, didn’t it?
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Even if I haven’t been responsible for any deaths so far, it doesn’t mean I haven’t come close. The real reason Kuripa killed Feng might not have been because I told him too, but it wasn’t out of an innate bloodlust either.
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Kuripa probably knew that I was gonna...do the deed myself...and killed Feng to stop me.
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You don’t really think you would have done it, do you...!?
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I don’t know Komaru...I can’t trust my own emotions any more...I’m BROKEN...
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And the reason why I was pushed to this point is because I was trying SO HARD, to make myself believe Mukuro’s death was WORTH something. That her sacrifice was an actual sacrifice!
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But I can’t! Mukuro died a shitty, pointless, agonizing death at the hands of Zetsubou! There was nothing honorable about the way she went out! 
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It wasn’t an honorable, proud death like those you hear in fairy tales. Not even close...And when you started dangling that “noble sacrifice” over my head, the red mist descended and...and...
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Ngh...
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Hey, HEY! Take it easy!
*Komaru places her hand over her brother’s while she waits for him to calm down.
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...
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I was selfish...I was rude...I lashed out at you like a child...You have no reason to forgive me for any of that.
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I just...*sigh* You, Kuripa, Kyoko, Toko, Byakuya, Hina...All of you mean the absolute WORLD to me!
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I do not want you to die a death like Mukuro did. Not even for the sake of duty, loyalty, or whatever goal the Foundation may have.
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We are at war with Organization Zetsubou, Makoto. We need to do anything we can to make sure they don’t succeed in bringing a tidal wave of Despair to our world.
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ANYTHING. Anyone else in your position would know that that includes making sacrifices where it matters. 
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That’s what war is. Fighting and dying on the behalf of the thing you’re trying to protect or what you believe in. It’s disgusting to think about, but it’s using your lives, and the lives of the people who follow you, for the greater good.
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I know we had relatively normal childhoods, and we would never have imagined as kids growing up and being a part of this war, but life is full of unpredictability's, and the point remains.
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You leave me little room to argue. I suppose on top of being a terrible brother, I’m an equally terrible boss. And an equally terrible peacemonger, huh?
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No. To be honest, I much prefer outlook on things.
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Huh?
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Future Foundation’s code prevents us from taking lives and living with the trauma, but on paper, that makes it sound like we value the lives of our enemies more than our allies. I can’t stand that.
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You might think recent times have hardened you Makoto, but your ideals are as soft-hearted and as kind as ever before. I don’t want the people close to me to die either.
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So no matter what, I’m going to stick with YOUR ideals over anyone else.
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And to think you were so obstinate before...
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Yeah, I know. I’m not gonna remember what happened these last few days fondly, but I know I’m going to grow and learn from this.
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But honestly, I just wanna know...are we cool?
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Yeah! I-If that’s ok.
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Phew! That’s a relief.
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...
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...Heh. You want an awkward sibling hug?
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Uh...yeah...!
*They share an awkward sibling hug. As they pull away however, Makoto prods her in the forehead.
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Ow!
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But for the record...don’t EVER tase me again!
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Ah...
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Ahahahahaa!
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Hahahaha!
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manchineel-mistress · 10 months
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Ok so I've been reading a lot of Yugioh Harry Potter crossovers lately. Mainly because they are the whole reason why I even started rewatching Yugioh dm (like I was not about to accept that this damn Harry Potter crossover fic had actually in canon characterization for the Yugioh characters because It Did Not Match Up with my memories from 13 years ago).
Anyway, I think Yugioh and Harry Potter has this great crossover potential because a) everything has good Harry Potter crossover potential and b) their timelines match up. Yuugi is like.... a month and some change older than harry, and that's something you can’t just leave there lying. They can bond!! Over not having normal high school experiences!! And almost dying constantly!! And Destiny!!
But also like would it not be hilarious for Umbridge to get shadow gamed seasson 0 Yami style. I think it would be hilarious, just, she starts seeing everything as pink or seeing the words she writes and/or hears being carved into her skin as her penalty game. I think it would be silly and funny teehee.
Back to the fics, usually they give the gang magic (either going shadow magic route or millennium items gets an upgrade again), but consider. What if. They don't. Yuugi finds himself in Hogwarts and Dumbledore or someone is convinced he can do magic, but he can’t. Poor baby just sits in charms class and tries to levitate a feather, only to be waving a stick and saying nonsense words. No, the person who can actually do magic is Yami, and that's why they got in this situations in the first place, so every time Yuugi needs to preform magic, Yami has to step in and figure out someway to make his half remembered-mostly-instinct-and-completely-different magic do the thing that the teacher wants him to do. Or it could be the route that shadow magic and HP magic are the same, just different branches, and the folks out in ancient Egypt only learned the shadow magic branch. Wouldn’t really help Yami as he tries his damnest to bluff his way through class, but it would be interesting world building wise. Yuugi does all the writing work though, because they’re partners who share th work.
“But Manch,” I can hear the nonexistent voice in my head that might also be you say, “why the hell would the gang be anywhere near the UK?” Well the Fics (tm) usually end up with shadow court or Bakura goes on summer holiday or Dumbledore and Voldemort are eyeing the millennium items. But like, what if Kaiba or someone just hosts a duel monsters contest in London and the gang just get invited for the summer. Then cue deatheaters and then cue the gang getting kidnapped into the wizarding world. Or at least Yuugi. Why did they invite muggle(s) into the wizarding world? Well damn that pendant sure looks useful in this war- wait what do you mean it’s now tied permanently to that boy- goddamnit I wanted to avoid possible kidnapping charge.
Also, I think that the millennium items could definitely just one shot Voldemort. Drag him into the shadow game, he has enough pride to fudge up and end with him yoinked into hell or something. It would be funny.
So yeah, I’ve been thinking too much about YGO HP crossovers, it's been a couple of weeks and I needed to get the Thoughts out. HP crossovers are my guilty pleasure, especially when they are just tearing the HP world apart or are just incredibly silly. Silly crossovers are my favorite.
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eadanga · 2 years
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Royal Love Part 8
Summary: Now 18 Eleanor heads to her first year of college and falls for a handsome musician. Can she keep her royal secret be with her true love?
A/N: This series is for @kingliam2019​​​​ one of my 500 followers giveaway winners
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Eleanor begins putting her things in a small bag as Marissa shouts “Hey girl you packed yet?”
“Almost! Just gotta call my dad!”
Marissa pokes her head in the room “You’re 18 right? Why you gotta tell him?”
“Really? Marissa does that sound smart to you?”
“Oh right you’re dad is a political figure” Marissa giggles “Well we don’t want to cause a nationwide manhunt”
“Oh hush!” Marissa laughs as she leaves Eleanor giggles as dials her dad
He answers and he smiles “Hello my princess”
“Hi dad I’m going to Cole’s house for the weekend”
Liam’s eyes go wide “What? You’re going to a guys house? Who’s gonna be there? What will you be doing?”
Eleanor laughs “Daddy chill! I’m going with a couple of friends and his family’s gonna be there”
“You sure? I want you to be safe I swear if anyone tries anything”
“Dad I promise you I’ll be fine and I’ll call you soon as I get there”
“Ok my princess that sets me at ease just be careful”
“I will dad I love you”
“Love you too my princess”
Eleanor smiles as she hangs up and stuffs her phone in her pocket. She grabs her bags and heads out to the car. She finds Marissa waiting for her smirking “Hey how’s daddy doing”
“He freaked out a bit thinking there we were being alone”
Marissa grins “I can have that arranged”
“Stop it!” Eleanor blushes as Marissa laughs they get into the car “You’re so annoying”
“But you love me”
“Yeah yeah”
Marissa giggles as she pulls out the parking lots “Now are you ready to meet to my aunt uncle and cousins”
“Yeah what are they like?”
“Cool and funny except my uncle and cousin both tell bad jokes don’t encourage them”
Eleanor laughs “Ok I won’t is everyone meeting us there?”
“Yeah they got out of classes early so we’re the last to arrive”
“Lucky their professors gave them a break”
“I know but we’re gonna be there to bbq and have some Texas fun!”
Eleanor giggles then she sighs “Has Cole ever brought you know who”
“You mean the bitch over? Once and after that visit I heard them telling him about how much they don’t like her and how she’s a bad influence” Marissa smiles “Don’t worry you’ll make a great impression on them”
Eleanor smiles Really hope so too Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she sees texts from her Uncle Maxwell and Drake
Hey! You’re going to a boys house for the weekend to party? And you’re not inviting me????!!!!!
Ignore him is this the guy you like?
Eleanor giggles then texts back
Yeah he invited me and some of his friends to bbq with his fam
But how can you not invite me you know I love to party 🥺
Lol Uncle Maxwell you really want to party with college kids?
Please I’ve partied with babies😀
Babies don’t party Maxwell
But if they did it will be awesome😀
Sighs but listen don’t do anything to hasty and if he hurts you say the word and I’ll sucker punch him
Thanks uncle Drake
“What’s got you all giggly over there? Oooooh is it Cole?”
“No stop that just my uncles texting me”
“Well what did they say?”
“My dad told them I was heading to Cole’s house they’re just being protective at least one of them is���
“Oh my dad is like that with me and my sis too”
“You have a sister?”
“Big sister she’s moved away to Florida wanted to practice law where it’s warm”
Eleanor laughs “I can understand that”
Marissa smiles “Me too so it’s been mainly me and my dad he and mom divorced when I was little she’s a business executive and total workaholic always put work before any of us”
“Oh man that must have been tough”
“Oh yeah she completely ignored me and my sister all our lives dad was the only one was there” Marissa sighs “I can still remember them fighting every single night when they divorced it got publicized cause you know my mom works at a well known company and the fallout from the divorce was dad got custody while mom got the most of the money and the house since she did buy it”
“Wow what happened after”
“Well dad Ciara and I moved into an apartment dad worked hard to get us back on our feet and to pay for both of our college tuition”
“Do you see your mom?”
“Not a lot I do get a text from her asking me how college is that’s about it it’s whatever she don’t want to be there she doesn’t I’ve got dad and Ciara”
“Hope you didn’t feel pressured I don’t think I should have”
Marissa smiles and takes her hand “No I’m glad I told you it’s good to get it off my chest”
“Is that what Alyssa bothers you about?”
“Yeah her mom works at the company too and she heard her gossiping about it”
“So you’ve known her a long time”
“Even before she met Cole we went to high school together and she was as a bitch then as she is now”
“Well I understand she’s doing what they do in Cordonia why she wealth and status even mean anything anyway? You know my mom was a waitress before she met my dad and that didn’t stop them from falling in love with each other”
“Oh that’s so cute I love it” Marissa nods “And I agree with you wealth and status don’t mean anything that’s other reason you didn’t want me saying anything about your family”
“Yeah cause who my family is doesn’t define me”
“Yeah oh we’re here” Marissa pulls up into a ranch on Texas “This is where we’ll be staying they love it here on the ranch they want to stay permanently but you know work”
“I get that”
They get out the car and Cole comes out the house to greet them “Oh hey you guys made it!”
“Hi Cole” Eleanor pulls him into a hug then she looks him up and down “You look good”
Cole smiles “So do you”
“Ahem sorry to interrupt your moment but am I invisible now?”
Cole chuckles as he pull Marissa into a hug “I wish you were sometimes”
“And I wish you fall into horse shit”
Eleanor laughs as Cole rolls his eyes “Pain in my ass”
“La la all I heard was yes I’ll get the bags cuz”
Cole walks over to the trunk “I’ll get Eleanor’s you can carry your own”
Marissa mocks gasps “You would have your own cousin carry her bags?”
“You’ve got two arms that aren’t broken”
Eleanor laughs harder as Marissa groans “You two are ridiculous come on Cole help us both with our bags”
Marissa puts her arm around Eleanor’s shoulder “Yes listen to my best friend”
Eleanor giggles as Cole rolls his eyes “Ok ok only doing it to get you to shut up”
Marissa smirks as she flips her hair “Whatever! Come on Elle let’s head inside” She walks towards the house
Cole sighs as Eleanor laughs “Be glad you’re not related to her”
“But we love her anyway”
“Yes I love her she’s a beautiful horse isn’t she?”
Eleanor giggles “I meant Marissa”
Cole smirks “What’s a Marissa? I’ve never heard of her”
“A Marissa is about the beat your ass if you don’t hurry up!”
Cole sighs as Eleanor continues to laugh then he smiles at her “Ready to meet the family?”
“Yes I can’t wait”
Tags: @indiacater​​​ @mfackenthal​​​ @the-soot-sprite​​​​ @twinkleallnight​​​ @gkittylove99​​​ @iaminlovewithtrr​​​ @princess-geek​​​
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canirove · 2 years
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Ten years | Chapter 2
Previous chapter | Next chapter
Masterlist
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The next day, the only topic of conversation at the pub is the inauguration. And I feel like if I keep rolling my eyes with the things I'm hearing, they'll get stuck at the back of my head.
"Bro, did you see his new girl? She is so hot."
"I know, bro."
"Your breakfast" I say, putting the plates on the table.
"Oh, hi, sorry. We didn't see you there."
"Yeah, we didn't mean to be rude."
"Rude?"
"We were talking about Declan's new girl..."
"And?" I say, arching an eyebrow.
"We thought..."
"You thought wrong. Enjoy your meal."
"Who are you hating on now?" Dom says when he sees me walking towards the counter.
"No one."
"Oh, c'mon. You were cursing under your breath, I heard you."
"It's nothing. But if people want me to move on, maybe they should stop apologizing for mentioning him? Make it something normal, like when you talk about the weather."
"On that, I'm with you. And I gotta leave."
"Now? Where?"
"They want me to check something at the camp. I'll be back before you know it, and Lily should be starting her shift soon. You'll be fine."
"I better."
"You will, sis" he says, kissing my cheek.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━      
"Lily, now that things have calmed down a bit, I'm going up to the office to do some paperwork. If you need help, call for me."
"Ok."
This pub has been on our family for a few generations now. Dom was the one supposed to keep it going after our parents decided to retire, but it was me who actually did it after my French failure, mainly because he was still studying. And here I've been since then, managing the pub and actually making it thrive.
"Urgh" I say after looking at numbers for an hour. "I need some chocolate or my head is going to explode."
"Oh, sorry" someone says when I open the door to leave the office, clashing against me and grabbing me by the waist, my hands on his chest. His very hard and muscled chest.
"Declan" I whisper when I finally manage to look up, my eyes getting lost on his. Is it possible that they look even more beautiful than I remembered? And his lashes? My God, who has lashes that long and pretty? It's not fair.
"Hi" he says, his gaze focused on mine. I don't know for how long we stay like that, looking at each other, our hands on the other. But it feels like hours. "I was looking for Dom" he finally says, letting go of my waist and instantly making me miss his touch. Damn it.
"He said he had to do something at the camp" I say, taking a step back. "But that was a couple of hours ago."
"He called me 10 minutes ago and told me  to meet him at the pub, so maybe he's on his way. Do you mind if I wait here? Downstairs people are being a bit... You know" he says, smiling while running a hand through his hair, all that combined making feel things I should not be feeling. Again.
"You can stay, yes. I was going downstairs."
"Why don't you wait with me? We could catch up."
"There is nothing to catch up with. And besides, I don't want Barbie Malibu getting mad." Fuck. Shit. Why did I say that?
"Who?"
"Nothing. I better go, so if you don't mind moving from the door..."
"That's Birgit, isn't it? She told me you were rude with her last night."
"Me?"
"Yes, you."
"I wasn’t rude with her. She was the one who called me her while making a disgusted face, and the one who actually threatened me."
"Birgit will never do something like that."
"Then maybe you don't know your girlfriend the way you thought you did. Looks like she isn't just fake physically speaking." Shut up, woman. Shut up! That was so low.
"Oh, wow" he chuckles. "Maybe you are the one I don't know anymore. Since when are you such a bitch?"
"I don't know. Maybe since the day you also changed and started dating girls with half a brain cell?"
"Excuse me?"
"Let me go, Declan. This... Just let me go.” Don’t let me keep talking!
"Yeah, you better go. Who knows what venom you may spit next.”
"Fuck you, Rice" I say, pushing him from the door and running downstairs.
10 years. We haven't spoken to each other in 10 years, and this is how our first conversation goes. I turn into a horrible person, and say things I shouldn’t. Why am I such an idiot?
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━      
"That was so mean an unnecessary."
"I know."
"Like, so mean."
"I know Claire. I know" I say, closing my eyes and massaging my temples, trying to relax.
"One thing is telling me those things, but to him? Like..."
"I'm a bitch. He said it and he's right."
"But you only are a bitch when talking about her. Mostly."
"Mostly" I chuckle.
"You know what I think could help you?"
"Enlighten me."
"Getting laid."
"What?" I say, my relaxation mode gone.
"Yep. You've said before that exercise helps you get things out of your system. So maybe this type of exercise will help you with that, while also letting you relax and who knows, maybe stop thinking about Declan."
"I'm not... Whatever."
"Why don't you give Benjamin a call? He's been asking you out since he moved here."
"Him? Seriously?"
"He's stupidly hot, and is into you."
"He is stupidly hot, but not stupid. If I call him now, when my ex shows up in town after a decade, don't you think he'll suspect I'm doing it because I'm jealous?"
"Are you?"
"No!" Maybe a little? Nah. I'm not jealous of Declan and Barbie Malibu. I am not.
"Well, you won't know what Benjamin thinks until you speak with him, so" Claire says with a shrug.
"Fine. I'll text him. But if he starts thinking that I'm a desperate lame woman, it'll be all your fault."
"Better that than thinking you are a bitch."
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ffsmnrk1989 · 1 year
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A POST ON BETRAYAL
Originally posted on Reddit, QuoteV, and deviantArt.
(I had wanted to put this as part of a larger overall post over at FB, but after several discoveries early April, and the fact that I’ve become an absolute Lazy Susan from what happened to me last year, I’ve chosen to go ahead and put it now.)
You say you remember me? That’s fine, because I remember you. But first, how do you remember me? Oh, no, wait, lemme take a guess: as the “fren” you knifed in the back when he did one little slip-up by liking a status from a person he himself doesn’t really like? While he was begging for your help? The same “fren” you left to rot while his account got hacked, then deactivated? Because that's what I remember you doing.
You couldn’t even forgive me for liking that post? And yet I'm the fake Buddhist? When I tried to reassure you with the truth (and that was that myself and Conor weren’t friends just because I like one of his posts which I actually agreed with), you went ballistic on me and attacked me for doing so, and then hypocritically compared that to me “flipping out” for you talking with that psycho of a woman Joyce Ann Sobeck.
I find those comments, quite frankly, disingenuous in light of the fact that I ALWAYS forgave your slip-ups (as befits a real Buddhist), and that we had the longer friendship.... or so I thought until now.
And you have the balls to say I saw what Conor was doing, and did nothing about it?! OK, let me remind you of a few things. First off, I didn’t meet you until September-October 2013, when I was already getting back to the HA! fandom, and even then I MET YOU THROUGH CONOR; never you first, then Conor. Second, I only found out after you were forced to delete your account back in March 2014, remember that? And by the time we found out, I could do nothing about it, because I was mainly busy (apart from my attempts at going back to college) with the taking back of the original OpRuth group, a situation caused by your Secret Lover Joyce and her 8 goons. Only from October 2014 could I finally do something, and I strived to keep both you and Conor apart because I got flashes of his assholery in January that year; and yet it was you who asked me to bring you two back, against my better judgement and even my outspoken refusal to do so. So don’t fucking tell me I let you get hurt by him, when the truth is the complete OPPOSITE.
You know, I’m beginning to get a horrifying picture, which I had hope it isn’t true, but with each passing day especially after seeing something a friend of mine showed me, I’m finally starting to believe it might be true: both you and Joyce are responsible for my account getting hacked. I guess your Secret Lover figured since she couldn’t take me down the easy way, by undermining my rights to speak about what happened to me, she decided to hack my account and disable it. For WHAT -- for $200 fucking dollars?! How fucking greedy can you be for that? I’ve since managed to regain some control of it, but now I’ve begun to realise a horrible truth. To borrow a movie quote: one of the people I cared about the most in this world, and needed the most in my darkest hour, only wants my ruin.
You left me to rot, while my account was hacked and disabled; and then, when you conveniently appeared, you complain about giving my like to a post I happened to agree with.
Do you know I tried to off myself because of my account being hacked?! My mom had to stop me from committing that ultimate folly from which I was driven to by both that action and my uncle’s words, which didn’t help either. What had been done to me was like killing a child you loved! That FB account was/is like a child to me: I spent over 14 years getting that account to what it was/is to the present day. Only for some ASSHOLE to take my joy from me. If I find out that indeed it was you and Joyce who destroyed my account.... How do you sleep at night, knowing you’ve taken one of my biggest joys in my life?
Both of you ruined my life. Because it was through you, kiddo, that I got hitched with a psychopath; and it was through said psycho that I probably have a lot of trust issues and probably PTSD.
You, former bestfren, ruined my life.
You’re like that song by Héroes del Silencio, “Entre Dos Tierras”, which I’ve taken to quote recently, in light of you putting me in a bad spot, while, again, I was begging for help. For you to refuse to help me and leave me to rot shows that you’re not loyal.
Time and again, I forgave you because it was the Buddhist thing to do, thus proving (and I’m not being narcissistic here, far from it) I’m more Buddhist than you ever were. You claim to supposedly follow the Buddhist teachings, yet, again, you couldn’t find it in your heart to forgive one little slip-up, while I forgave your countless ones? Can someone say “hypocrite”?
This begs the question: what did I ever do to you? What did I ever do to you? Never before had I been treated so lousily as you two have; what the hell did I do to deserve not just my account being hacked by you, but your horrible treatment of me in general? Exist? I’m not gonna stop existing just because you and Joyce don’t want me to.
What makes this even infinitely worse is that I VOUCHED for your sorry ass time and time again! When other people said you weren’t worth it, I vouched for you! And then you went and knifed me! How you gonna punk me like that, huh?
I’m beyond disgusted, kiddo. Disgust doesn’t even begin to cover what I feel right now. You sold me out to someone you knew I despised, knowing full well what she had done to me and others. And yet you still had the balls to put me in convos (except for the one for TJM, which I joined, ‘cause hey, it’s TJM, what we fought so hard for since 2013!) knowing I didn’t wanna talk (and rightfully so!) with someone who betrayed me, who did a lot of damage to me. And still you let her verbally and mentally abuse me. No, Adrian Michael Pridemore, disgust doesn’t cover the bases of how I feel; it’s an emotion which we Buddhists shouldn’t have, but I can’t help but feel towards you now: HATRED.
Hatred because you let her verbally and mentally abuse me, and yet you did nothing to stop it. Hatred because you still put me in convos with her, knowing full well how she treated me until June 26, 2015. Hatred because you, apparently, conspired with her to try to destroy not just my spirit, but my body as well -- that attempt to off myself I blame on not just my uncle, but on you, because I needed your help, and I was cast at sea.
You have no soul, no heart, no conscience. Neither you, nor Joyce.
I find it hard to keep thinking about things I’d like to say, so let’s sum it up: You’ve got ZERO right to attack me for one slip-up and not forgiving me for that (since you claim to be a Buddhist, even worse), while I was always the better man forgiving you for your slip-ups and giving you many chances to do right by me as I’d do right by you. And if, and I mean if, it turns out you did, alongside Joyce, the absolute worst thing to me (hacking into my main FB account and disabling it) because you couldn’t stand me telling the truth about Joyce.... Hoo boy, I hope you have a good lawyer to help you beat the rap!
To tidy matters up: remember I told you back last year that this was your last chance to be a good person? Guess what? By going 'round my back, attacking me by mocking my attempts at asking for forgiveness, you’ve proven that not only are you still allied with Joyce, but you also treated me like a fucking jerk. I see now I never meant anything to you but a sucker. You saw me as a sucker back in 2014, by tying me with someone who could never be trusted.
Never again will I forgive you.
Never again will I give you another chance.
You’ve blown your chances with me, burnt the bridges.
And now, you’re just like the song: now you’re just somebody that I used to know.
Frens NO MORE.
FRANCO FERRER-SAN MIGUEL Started 4/21/2022 Finished 6/2 the same year.
Namu Butsu, namu Hô, namu Sôgya. (I take Refuge in the Buddha; I take Refuge in the Dharma; I take Refuge in the Sangha.)
Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo, Namu myôhô renge kyo.
Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki,Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki,Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki,Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki,Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki,Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki,Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki,Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki,Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki, Nenpi Kannon riki.
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lifesucks-hby · 2 years
Text
Idk Just want to talk ab my friends
Wow Ok. So I actually haven’t been on here in nearly two years. Holy sh-
So Idk I just wanted to rant ab some of my friends. Can someone please give me literally any advice??
Let’s start with this; I’m girlflux (current pronouns are she/they) and ace. Oh and gay. (technically abrosexual but i lean towards girls.)
I have a few friends, but the main two I’m talking about here can be called A and B. (Mainly bc I don’t want them to connect the dots.)
A I’ve known for years. We never really connected until a few years ago though, so I’m still figuring her out. I know her but, like anyone, there’s been a few twists. 
For example, she’s Bi. I didn’t know this until maybe two years ago and she never directly told me until maybe a year ago. 
So onto the whole ‘can someone give me advice before I screw things up with yet another friend’ thing. 
A and I are fake engaged. The kind that friends do and everything. Well, I proposed as a joke and then we ended up buying little plastic rings and, inevitably, it evolved, you know? And now, even though I know for a FACT it’s 100% platonic, sometimes I just feel like I would tip her way, if you know what I mean.
(not sexually, like I mentioned before, Ace) 
But like I think she’s super pretty and nice and sometimes I just, I don’t know, I break and ramble and she gives me this feeling.... I don’t know- that all sounded SUPER corny!!
I’m really not like this. Personally I think PDA is gross and I don’t really like expressing my feelings unless I have an outlet which I can write and delete. (hence this) And it’s not even like I feel that way ALL the time. It’s just these moments where... 
Anyway, what tf should I do about that? I seriously don’t want to ruin our friendship or anything.
And then there’s B.
B has been my best friend for what feels like forever even though we’ve only known each other for less than ten years. She’s the kind of friend you tend to forget only to remember and realize, ‘oh wow, I’m a dick why would I ever stop talking to you???’
So recently B ghosted me. Like for maybe two months. I kinda went into this spiral, my other friends weren’t really talking to me and A had her phone taken away and I didn’t have anyone.
And then, BOOM, B’s back. And she texts me constantly, using gifs with little animations and LOTS of hearts. (she tells me she loves me at least once a week and I have to say it back, which sometimes makes me uncomfy since I don’t like the whole emotion thing.)
Let me admit now, I do love her. She’s my best friend, probably a better friend than A if I’m honest but there’s one problem with my perspective on that:
I generally like A more.
It’s not like I hate B or anything, like I said, I love her. But, this’ll sound so ignorant, A is the popular girl everyone wants to talk to. And before her, I was just this girl in the background, questioning if anyone wanted me there. And no one did, because no one knew me.
Again this is growing corny, but I’ll go on..
And then this light, a ray of sunshine; an angel; whatever you’d call her. (personally I’d go with miracle) came up to me one day.
That day changed my life. I felt like someone chose me and after that people WOULD talk to me. I made a few more friends and started acting like the varients of myself.
I’ll admit, I forgot about B. I felt horrible too, buying her gifts and saying sorry so many times. She said she was okay with it.
And then the ghosting happened. I didn’t sleep for days and it was all such a mess.
But then she came back, closer to me than ever, with no explanation. And I think she likes me.
Like-likes me.
Which wouldn’t be a problem, ‘cept the whole A thing. Plus I don’t know, I just don’t feel like that. I used to, so the feelings are trying to flood back since anytime anyone does anything for me I get attached, but I’m not sure I want that.
Any advice?
Sorry that’s so long-
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lizzygrantarchives · 12 years
Text
Oyster, December 12, 2011
It was only in August this year that Pitchfork’s “Hollywood sadcore” darling Lana Del Rey put her first single, ‘Video Games’, up on YouTube, but apparently that’s equivalent to a century in Internet time. Millions of pageviews later and I’m being subjected to ‘Video Games’ or ‘Blue Jeans’ playing from my housemate’s iPhone on a daily basis, but that’s not why I wanted to interview LDR. She has that haunted, retro, sepia-toned sultriness thing down to a T, and I wanted to see if she could keep it up for a 20-minute telephone conversation. We only ended up speaking for 17 minutes because she became very keen to stop the conversation early due to my interesting “vibe”, but all of those minutes were very, very strange.
Hi Lana, how are you?
I’m good, how are you?
Good! I don’t know whether to call you Lana or Lizzie, can I call you Lizzie?
Sure. You can call me whatever you want, honey.
Have you changed your name legally, or are you still Lizzie to your friends?
Oh, that’s a good question. No, I went down to the courthouse and I don’t know — I don’t have that many friends, so it depends… Some of them call me Lana and some of them call me Lizzie.
Why don’t you have many friends?
No, I do have friends; I have really good friends… yeah, I do. Some of them call me Lizzie, some of them call me Lana.
You probably get asked this all the time, but… are your lips real?
Yes, they are.
Wow. Would you ever get plastic surgery?
Maybe.
What would you get?
[Laughs] What would I get? Ummm, I don’t know.
How important do you think it is as a pop star to have a complete look — outfit, hair, video aesthetic?
It just depends on what you like, I guess. It depends on who you are. I was a writer for a long time and then I started singing. And then when I was 18 I started sort of editing different visuals together, splicing my face into them. So, I think it really depends on the person.
Is that when you moved to New York? When you were 18?
Yeah, that was when.
What was that like?
Well, I was born there, and I moved to the country when I was really young. So I was ready to get back to New York — it’s definitely the love of my life and I consider it my home. I’ve been there for about eight years now.
It’s an amazing city.
It’s so beautiful.
What did you do for work while you trying to break into singing?
I did a couple of things, I did a website called Craigslist and I would just sort of look online for $100 jobs. Like, people will pay you $100 to do different things around the house or drive someone to New Jersey.
That’s pretty brave. You can find some fucked-up stuff on Craigslist. How did you know which ones were legit?
I mean, you often don’t know until you get there.
Did you ever get into trouble with that?
[Laughs] If I did, I wouldn’t tell you! Let me ask you a question, do you like my music or not?
Well, I like the video for ‘Video Games’. I mainly I just find you very interesting.
I’m just trying to get your general vibe.
Cool. What sort of music do you like?
Well, I like only a couple of things. I’ve pretty much listened to Nirvana ever since I found them, which wasn’t until I was about 18. I like Eminem, I like sixties music, and I have a couple of movie soundtracks that I really like listening to — just, like, sound scores.
Which movies?
I like Thomas Newman’s scores, so American Beauty…
American Beauty is fantastic. And you like Eminem?
Yeah, I like Eminem. I’ve just been thinking about him more because people always ask me about hip hop, so… I don’t know.
It might have something to do with the “gangsta Nancy Sinatra” thing.
I mean, I never said that to anyone. It was just on my YouTube page and people found that and started using it, so…
Is it still there, or did you delete it? Ummm, I don’t know. I’m going online right now to look at it. Let’s see… No. It just says “dope” [laughs].
OK, so you’re not “gangsta Nancy Sinatra” any more. Just Lana Del Rey.
Yup.
Do you like Kreayshawn?
I’ve only heard ‘Gucci Gucci’.
Do you think you’re similar in that you like making your own videos for YouTube?
She makes her own videos?
Yeah — well, she probably had some help, but she edited videos for other rappers and stuff before she was famous.
How old is she?
She’s, like, 21 or 22 [Kreayshawn is 22].
Oh. That’s cool.
So, do you like “gangsta” music?
I like hip-hop, but I don’t know if I’d call it gangster music — I mean, I don’t want to get shot. I like hip hop the same way everyone else does.
What about your own brand of music? You originally called it Hollywood sadcore. Is that like emo?
I don’t know, what’s emo?
You know, the kids with eyeliner and black hair.
I don’t know — I feel like you’re going to write a really fucked-up article about me. I’m a little nervous.
You’re nervous? What’s the worst thing anyone’s ever written about you?
I don’t know. There’s a lot of stuff out there.
What would you do if I did write something really mean?
Nothing… I dunno [laughs] — come to Australia and kill you?
But surely everyone would find out, because you’re famous! And now I have it on a recording, so you can’t anyway.
Nice.
So what about your newer songs? After ‘Blue Jeans’ you did ‘Kinda Outta Luck’ and ‘Born to Die’, and there are some really dirty lyrics in there — like, “Let me fuck you hard in the pouring rain.” Would you have put stuff like that in your original songs?
Well, my first songs were pretty autobiographical, so it’s not that big a jump for me. I talked about a lot of stuff in my first record, so it’s not a big departure.
I always thought you were innocent! Maybe it’s your big eyes.
I think that depends on what you consider to be innocent.
What about other new music? Are there any other artists that you really like right now?
I really like a band called Kassidy, from Scotland, and I like this band that are sort of my friends — well, they are my friends — called Carney. That’s just two contemporary bands… But I like a lot of different kids of music.
What about dubstep?
[Laughs] No.
Any electronic music?
I guess if I’m dancing.
Do you go out a lot, or do you try to keep it low-key?
Actually, I haven’t been to a club since I was about 17. I don’t go out a lot. I don’t know, I’m getting an interesting vibe from you, I feel like you really don’t like my music.
Don’t you think it’s a good thing that your music causes a bit of contention?
Well, that’s a good question, but I don’t really know the answer yet.
I think you should have a few people that are on the edge.
I mean, I’m not a very controversial person in my own personal life, so it’s not something I’m personally interested in. I think we should just end this because… I don’t know. I feel like you don’t really like it.
OK then. Thanks for your time.
Thanks.
Originally published on oystermag.com.
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