🍽 source: Dr. Oetker Schulkochbuch für den Elektroherd (translation: Dr. Oetker school cook book for the electric stove) ➛ publisher: Ceres-Verlag Rudolf-August Oetker KG ➛ 16th Improved Edition 1969 ➛ Printed in Germany

Hi, i saw you have your request open so here i go, requesting some hcs for Dante, Vergil and Trish having a short sweet-toothed s/o who also loves to bake.

notes: heeey there, anon! In advance sorry for the waiting, it took long enough but at least here we are! I hope you like it, because I surely did loved writing these headcanons, and with Trish being included? Better than ever!

Enjoy the reading and thanks for requesting! <3

⠀🍓 ˖ . ᵎᵎ Dante, Vergil & Trish with a short sweet-toothed S/O

♡ tags: gender-neutral reader, no use of pronouns (you/yours only), no description of reader's appearance, short!reader, use of petnames, three devils being soft af, Vergil and Trish might have been sorta ooc pardon in advance.

ⓘ gif's not mine!!

Dante

Perfect match, to be honest.

Calls you "shortcake" or "shortie" most of the time and if you're annoyed by that… he'll keep doing it, sorry. He loves you enough to annoy you as well. 

Being as sweet-toothed as he is, no wonder he'll ask you constantly to make some desserts with strawberries or red fruits in general such as raspberries or cherries. 

And please don't let Dante get one inch near the kitchen, this man will eat as many of the berries plus he's catastrophic at cooking.

At least let him add some of the ingredients and mix them together here and there, he'll be satisfied and happy enough. 

He'll eat the batter when you're not looking, by the way. 

Still on the ingredients topic, doesn't this bitch (affectionately) loves when you ask him for help to reach something you can't? He's all smugly smirks, towering you with that huge figure of his and in the best of the cases, lifting you so you can reach it by yourself. 

Dante's personal favorite dessert made by you became The Devil's Cake, but instead of being fulfilled of chocolate only, there's lots and lots of strawberry jam and fresh strawberries on top of it. 

Late night munchies are a must! You two can and will be watching whatever series or movies while cuddling and devouring almost all of a whole damn bakery because Dante has a black hole instead of a regular stomach. 

Saw a recipe for dessert pizza once, got obsessed with it, asked you to make it, you made it, he's even more in love with you. 

"Babe, you're a sweetheartie. A candy angel, I love you so much," said Dante, mouth full of sweet pizza and eyes full of tears of joy and passion. 

ⓘ gif's not mine!!

Vergil

Vergil strikes me as a cinnamon roll enjoyer. That's it, that's the post. 

But really, I don't think he has a sweet-tooth or enjoys sugary foods that much. He likes it, sure, but at moderate bits. 

Unlike Dante, he does not make fun of your height… Yet he finds it quite endearing. 

Calls you "little bird". Let me have him be affectionate and lovely for a sec, okay? 

Vergil also gets worried by the amount of sugar you consume. 

"You'll get plenty of cavities if you keep eating desserts at that level." 

He helps you with your recipes too. I'm kinda sure that Vergil knows a thing or two in the cooking field, correct me if I'm wrong (I am wrong). 

As previously said, he likes more, hm, refined flavors, such as cinnamon and vanilla and if you're baking cinnamon rolls, count him on it! 

Don't ask Vergil to chop the ingredients unless you want him to put on a show about it. 

If you like drinking tea, you better prepare a bunch of sweet treats because you're having regular, calm silent tea evenings ft. Vergil and his poetry book. 

ⓘ gif's not mine!!

Trish

Oh my, what can I say about Trish?

She's not a sugary-sweet person. Instead, she's mostly on sour candies and neutral fruits field. 

With that being said, I hope you're ready to constantly bake lemon pies and banana cakes. 

Trish does not know how to cook for her dear life, she prefers watching you instead and maybe teasing you along with it.

"Trish, I could use a little hand." "Pardon me if I can't help but think you're all cute on your own, sugar."

Speaking of teasing, this devil surely knows how to make you fluster with her little comments about your height, but of course, always keeping it comfortable enough to not get you mad or sad. 

"Need some help there, honeypie?" "My, if you ever get trouble reaching that shelf, you need to wear some of my heels."

And although Trish is not your sous chef, she is certainly your personal tasting critic, which is an advantage mostly to her. 

"So, what do you think?" "Hm, I liked the caramel on top of the fruit, and it's sour just in the way I love. It's a ten out of ten, honey." 

Brought you some silly clothes like sweaters and shirts with some candy motif and oh, sure, fruity flavored lip gloss. 

Anything for her honeybun~

cerezzzita©, 2023 · all rights reserved ⓘ do not edit, copy, steal or claim as yours | reblogs and comments are appreciated!

“...”

“Well damn, alright.” Yang downed the rest of her tea quickly, before gasping for a breath as she shoved her cup away.

“Lightning round, lets go!”

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

“It was in my young teen years, 15 I think. I’d been dating that individual for a couple weeks before they abruptly decided to kiss me then and there. We’d been dancing around the subject for a while. It wasn’t spicy or romantic, merely spur of the moment. Was sweet though. The year after that we had broke up and remained friends for a while until we lost contact.”

french vanilla: how old are you?

“You shouldn’t ask someone their age when they been through shit. Too god damn old is the best answer if you must know. I’m older than 28, trust me. Don’t let looks fool you. But hey, I’m getting even older come December 25th!”

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

“Do places long gone count? Can I say Home? Nah probably not. So three places let’s see... Japan, China, Romania. The actual places not whatever anything makes them out to be.”

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

“I know a damn lot of languages actually. Sometimes it’s hard to think of the right words to say because of this, knowing so many. It’s one reason I’m so odd with my way of speaking. However, I would not mind learning some dead languages. If that doesn’t count, then... Persian?”

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

“Ah hell. I mean, I’m not much of a cosmetic expert here. I work with whatever I really need for a music show or for just every day. I could say L’Oreal because I’m worth it joke but that seems in bad taste. If I was using cosmetics just for the enjoyment or to look special, I just try and get whatever works for me.”

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

“Answered this one~!”

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

“Plenty. I’ve decided to learn a few different ones so I can mix together my own music needs of demands arise for it. But I really enjoy stringed instruments or wind instruments. I carry a small harmonica or Ryūteki in my packs.”

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

“Not easy to give an answer for, I’ve got a really broad taste. But I’m thinking something with a heavier beat at the moment-”

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

“Oh come on this makes it harder. As I said, broad taste. I can find enjoyment in many kinds of music and lyrics. Can’t exactly answer a favorite song for life here.”

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

“Which zodiac are we talking here? There are a lot out there. But the first one into my head is Capricorn. I am on the 25th of December.”

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

“As nice as the ocean can be, fuck the ocean. I’ll enjoy the coast line just fine but you won’t catch me swimming that far out in it. There is damn good reason why I don’t like the ocean much anymore. I’ll relax in a pool or a lake or river, thank you.”

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?

“Good question. I’ve made a few social media posts that exploded. But that’s probably not fair considering the music I do. I think my most popular is from years ago when I spray painted a statue of a certain someone to look like a baboon.”

bubblegum: books or movies?

“Both! Why choose? I enjoy both quite a bit. and besides, Books can always be there no matter what. And can hold so much valuable information depending what you are reading.”

pistachio: manga or anime?

“... Both again? But I prefer novels. This is more a guilty pleasure.”

salted caramel: favorite movies?

“I can’t remember the last movie I watched, if I’m honest, let alone a favorite movie.”

birthday cake: favorite books?

“Hmmm. Hard one. I enjoy the collected works of Edgar Allen Poe? There is Shōgun. The Mark of Zorro, Sherlock Holmes, Bram Stoker Dracula... There’s several.”

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

“Not exactly applicable, I don’t remember the name of any I like when I was young.”

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

“The same as above. Wow I am old... I should really get in touch with these things again.”

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

“Hah, I loved science and history. A damn lot really. I’ve used both to really help my self along and it’s come in handy. My need for knowledge had me spend a lot of time researching.”

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

“I’ve not had any pets since I was a rookie. Never had the time to truly care for one, and now with a hectic life, I’m not gonna do that to an animal.”

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

“Suppose just to exist and have something to do between pit stops.”

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

“It is torn between two for me. A nice warm day, clear, maybe with a gentle breeze. Some clouds above, and calm. That’s the ideal outing day... But, I suppose due to my birthday, I can enjoy a soft snow coming down,some snow on the ground, watching through a window with tea in hand while bundled up and warm. Much prefer clear day though.”

black cherry: four words that describe you?

“Now that’s just not fair. Let me think... Loyal, Determined, Caring, Protective.”

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

“Being reminded of my failings and those I’ve lost... the people I’ve hurt... Thinking about friends I wish I was closer too but too fearful to be that close. Hm. I can also be stressed out by far too much stimulation for my brain at once that it can spin my gears way too quickly.”

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

“Again, broad tastes. But depending on my mood or feelings, it changes what my favorite kind of music can be. But I will always enjoy something gentle and calming.”

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

“I’ve always been partial to chocolates, or cream items.”

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?

“Ever hear of a game called Egyptian Rat Race? Also known as Egyptian Rat Screw, dunno why of course. I learned this game when I was a kid. 52 card deck, deal to each player until the deck is entirely used and everyone has a pile face down. Starting to the left of the dealer players pull the top card off their pile and place it face-up in the middle. If the card played is a number card, the next player puts down a card, too. This continues around the table until somebody puts down a face card or an Ace. When a face card or an ace is played, the next person in the sequence must play another face card or an ace in order for play to continue.If the next person in the sequence does not play a face card or an ace within their allotted chance, the person who played the last face card or an ace wins the round and the whole pile goes to them. The winner begins the next round of play.“

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

“Uh... Admittedly not often. With my metabolism problem I absolutely should, considering the demanding needs. I just can’t always bring my self to do so, the will for it isn’t there. I do snack though.”

dark chocolate: turn ons?

“Ooohh boy... Now this one has me turning a bit red here. I mean there is biting and tight holds, the usual stuff. But... I’m not gonna list a lot here, a turn on can be blindfolding me if I trust my partner enough.”

fudge: turn offs?

“Being an asshole, for one.”

peach: how do you relax?

“A nice cup of tea, maybe some soft music, and let my mind unwind a little. That’s if I’m alone. Otherwise a gentle conversation with a friend about small things... Once upon a time long ago I would have said long hugs or cuddling. Not an option these days.”

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?

“I’ve not read The Golden Compass, that has been on my to do list.”

superman: do you like sweaters?

“Weird how this one is with sweaters... but yeah I can enjoy sweaters in the right weather. They can be soft and warm, comfy. Great for cold days.”

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

“I drink both actually. But if I have the option for a good tea I’m going to take it without hesitation. Yet the spark of energy from Coffee can’t be denied.”

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

“Without a doubt, Taisho-goto. Have you seen one of those? It’s so intricate and amazing, and can sound wonderful. It can be used to play all sorts of things. Fascinates me that the item was half inspired by a typewriter.”

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

“Oh a few times actually. It’s been a good long while now since I’ve gone that far, but it’s come close. But once upon a time this has happened!”

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

“To Become A Functioning Website.”

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

“Now that’s just kissing and telling...” (( I’d also have to tag and dont wanna spam. ))

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“Oddly specific, but... Variations of ‘One time she punched me in the face. It was awesome.’. “

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

“Uh, natural and colorless? I’ve not painted my nails in a while.”

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

“I have yes.”

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

“Again, yes. We’re not gonna go into this can of worms.”

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

“Sometimes. There comes the occasion when one does get exhausted and needs a damn nap.”

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

“Get way too flustered and accidentally admit I liked someone.”

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

“Completely! You say we’re going to get Sushi and you have my full attention.”

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

“Home unfortunately.”

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

“Nope! I’m thankful for that, but one day I have no doubt that’s going to change.”

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

“Mochi green tea, chocolate chip mint, red bean, Strawberry shortcake... Gelato raspberry or orange cream.”

Song of the Week

I worked on this for like 20 minutes, and then Tumblr ate it. I’m minorly livid about it. Now to rewrite.

Honorable Mentions:

For something distinctly trippy and cool, look to GOND with Hotel Room, a synthy rap track that uses its synths just as importantly as the distinct silences peppered throughout the track. The raps are solid, the autotune makes perfect sense, and the music only chorus takes the themes and expands. There are surprises every verse in the best way. This is avant garde in music form.

Park Seo Joon sighting, ft. an actress I recognize but annoyingly cannot place.

Please listen to Jo Gwangil, I need everyone to discover him. His flow is so so so damn good. He does rap about pretty dark stuff, like so dark that Depersonalization has a warning on the beginning about imagery. But he feels raw and honest in a way I haven’t heard as much recently, and he does while creating like 90% of a songs rhythm from his own mouth. This track has a bit more from that point of view, but is still fairly sparse, and has sections that are nearly empty besides his voice. P.S, if you are easily squeamish, there is a clean version. Sadly, both versions are pretty flashy, so be aware if you are photo sensitive.

And now for a new segment, idol roundup, where I mention every single idol I watch, in the hopes of remembering for myself as well as catching when I miss ones that don’t go to the compilation channels. The girls got shafted this week for sets.

- Only You by Saturday. This sounds and looks like a b-side. Sweet bubble gum pop I have negative interest in.

- X by Chungha. X feels very different for Chungha, but makes sense for a female soloist in K-pop.

- Lemon Candy by Pink Fantasy: I don’t find anything particularly special or interesting about this, but it’s fine.

- Love So Sweet - Cherry Bullet: I get why people like Cherry Bullet a little bit more, but I like the first verse more than the whole rest of the song.

- No diggity by ONEUS: It’s fine, but it doesn’t draw me in the same way as some of their other tracks have. Also it kind of looks like they took like every VIXX video and said, “we’ll use them all” for the visual concept.

- My Turn by Cravity: This is what happens when your company seems Stray Kids and NCT and decides that success is the average of the 2. I still don’t know what Cravity’s sound is.

I have many words to say about U-Know’s Thank U. But before I get carried away about the video, let’s address the song. It is sexy and cool and instantly recognizable as Yunho. TVXQ is the only group I can think of who have an overarching discography between that not only sounds cohesive, but still manages to have distinctive and obvious differences between each solo effort and the pair as a duo. You know this is a TVXQ member’s track right away, while also knowing it is specifically Yunho’s through some magic of consistency. And this video is so damn good. It is plot driven in the year 2021 of our lord, with a plot that doesn’t require reading a primer by a fan who is way more into this stuff than you to understand. Yunho not only has multiple wonderful set piece stunt fights (that seem to all actually be him, or at least a majority) but also dances that come from those same scenes? And mostly fit the vibe? Not to mention the frankly stunning visuals. Honestly, you could write a paper about this 7 minute MV and get credit in a film studies class. I hope that this means that post army Yunho will get an action movie/drama role (hopefully his acting has improved while he was in the army; god knows it couldn’t get worse). Anyways, go watch and listen and enjoy the power of experience.

Subtle and sweet was not the sound I expected from an Epik High comeback, but that’s what Based on a True Story is. Heize sounds great, and the beat feels different for Epik High in the best way, especially with the orchestral backing. The accordion is a nice touch. Rosario on the other hand makes absolute sense for them. It again sits on a slightly different beat for Epik High, which is always a great thing to hear from them, and has incredible verses from Tablo, Mithra Jin and Zico, as well as a great chorus from CL. If you want the full effect, you probably should spend some time with Born Hater first, because Rosario feels like a lyrical successor, and more obviously a visual and spiritual successor. Epik High has always made great collabs, but this pair fit into the same theme. They are all a response to a specific type of hate. Born Hater is about people complaining about people being overrated/untalented. Hell, there is a reference to Zico in it by Mino (an apt call out at the time). Rosario is a response to the title of has-been, and a bit the idea of current idols paving the way. Having Epik High, CL and Zico in a room puts that even more into perspective, as all of them are known for their contributions in one way or another. Epik High are hugely popular and well known rappers to basically anyone who isn’t just an idol fan. CL has proven that you can be a female rapper who goes solo and still kills the game. And Zico is the first truly successful idol producer. All of them have made huge contributions to the Korean music industry, but are often ignored by younger fans who don’t know their history. Well, here’s a place to learn it.

Short aside: Tablo’s verses are so damn well written basically always, that even the translations have to work hard on them. And I bet they miss out some of the subtleties. Also, his verse in Rosario is the only one that combats a different issue, definitely turn on subtitles for it.

Both Thank U and Rosario are important to me for different reasons, and they both win.

Day 3 ~ Christmas 2019 Ego Fanfics

Day 3 here we frickin come people! I hope you're al hungry because now it is time for the all important...Christmas food shopping! LET'S DO IT!

TAGGING: @goog-ler-iplier

Food, glorious food…writing this part is going to make me hungry, I know it. Just thinking about documenting people buying turkey, chicken, bacon, sausages, pigs-in-blankets, beef, eggs, cubes, mince and steaks of meat substitute, potato starch based egg substitute, roasting and baking potatoes, carrots, parsnips, garlic, onions, sprouts, leeks, celery, spinach, spring onions, bell peppers, tomatoes, heavy cream, semi-skimmed and full fat milks, lacto-free milks, almond milk, soya milk, butter, vegan butter, regular and gluten free loaves, baguettes, wraps and flat breads, chicken and beef stocks, sage, thyme, basil, lemons, limes, satsumas, grapes, walnuts, fennel seeds, cumin, vinegar, star anise, salt, black pepper, oils, black and glace cherries, raisins, dates, apples, cranberries, gooseberries, blackberries, redcurrants, figs, cinnamon powder and sticks, nutmeg, ginger, a multitude of flours and sugars, baking powder and soda, inhuman amounts of chocolate and sweets, whipped cream, savoury snacks like crisps, peanuts, cashews, pretzels, crackers, breadsticks, cheeses and pickles, popcorn, candy floss…and then huge amounts of ice cream….is gonna make me hungry.

Then there’s the whole beverage side of things. There are bottles and cans of fizzy sodas, lemonade, ginger ale, ginger beer, tonic water, elderflower presse, apple juice, orange juice, cranberry juice, instant coffee, coffee machine capsules, earl grey tea, peppermint tea, loose leaf tea, generally festive tea, hot chocolate mixes, egg nog, white wine, red wine, rose wine, port, champagne, whiskey, gin, rum, cream liqueur, cans and bottles of beer, vodka….and sparkling water. Damn…it’s a lot. Undoubtedly you’d need somebody with something like a computer for a memory to memorise all of that, purchase it and bring it home in an efficient manner; thank heck for Googleplier. He was on the mission for consumables, along with his VERY excited boyfriend Blankgameplays.

Now, when it came to public places Blank could often get very anxious and uncomfortable…but not this time. On this occasion, not only did he have his sweet blue Google with him, but he also had a task to undertake, a task he’d been looking forward to ever since he’d volunteered to help Google with it. Blank loved shopping, and he also loved Google, so really this was his idea of the perfect morning. He, of course, was in charge of the steadily filling trolley…and was being a tad cheeky with it.

‘Blank! Get back here! You’ll crash the darned thing!’

Google whisper-shouted as he speed-walked down the aisle after his boyfriend, who was giggling as he half-rode the trolley down the aisle, giddily taunting.

‘Cahan’t catch meee can’t catch meheee!’

Google let out a growl under his breath as he sped up into a jog, and Blank’s eyes widened as he let out a surprised squeak when he found that Google had wrapped his arms around him from behind and brought him to a halt.

‘Are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?’

Blank giggled and nibbled his bottom lip at the sound of his boyfriend’s low growl in his ear. Blank turned around so he could face Google, and stood on his tip-toes so he could deliver a kiss to his nose.

‘Maaaaybe.’

Google pursed his lips as he looked down at Blank…damn him with his twinkling eyes and beautiful smile, always making Google unable to truly chastise him for his cheekiness. They returned to their task, collecting more essential items and crossing them off their list….but it didn’t take long for Blank’s mischief to rear its adorable head once more. This time, he was putting things in the trolley that they didn’t require.

‘My love…we do not need paper plates with pink pigs on them.’

‘Awwww c’mooon! Look at them they’re so cute!’

Blank stuck out his bottom lip dramatically, whining when Google put them back on their respective shelf. Google got close to Blank, whispering with a light, playful glare in place.

‘If you put anything else in the trolley that is not on our set list then I shall, with immediate effect, take away your trolley pushing privileges.’

Blank stuck his lip out even more and tried to engage in his puppy eyes, but Google’s glare merely hardened, so Blank submitted….for a little while at least. The rest of the shopping went remarkably smoothly, Blank was giddy of course but he didn’t try to playfully disrupt the task…so Google was under the impression that he was no longer going to be cheeky amidst the shopping. Oh how he was wrong. Blank was merely biding his time, lulling Google into a false sense of security…until they reached the check-out. Then, Blank did the one thing he knew would embarrass Google immensely WITHOUT making him uncomfortable; namely, a great amount of PDA.

‘Baaaabe, can we snuggle lateeer?’

Google’s eyes widened when, just as he’d finished loading their purchasers onto the conveyer, Blank starting hanging off his arm and softly nuzzling his cheek. His face started to turn turquoise as he perceived other customers staring with grins on their faces. Google stammered, wanting to reprimand Blank, but he was getting embarrassed.

‘L-Love….n-not here….’

Blank grinned and giggled, placing a trail of soft, innocent kisses under his jaw, knowing damn well what he was doing to his adorable android. Google’s blush reached his ears as Blank cooed deftly.

‘Whaaat? I’m just showing the world how much I looove you and wanna snuggle yooou!’

Google tried to look down at Blank with a warning in his eyes, but that only made Blank grin wider, god how he loved teasing Google. Google always maintained stoicism, professionalism and perfect composure in every public situation….but Blank lived for when he was blushing and smiling and had no idea what to do with himself because of his developing emotions.

‘Sh-shhh….p-p-people a-are l-looking….’

Google tried to bow his head as he started to smile nervously, whilst Blank merely giggled fondly at him. He was caught between the embarrassment of people watching them and undoubtedly cooing about them, and the sweet enticing nature of his boyfriend’s loving affection. Google could only reason that emotions were….weird. Google gritted his teeth when Blank winked at him though, and despite how flustered he was…Google knew that he wasn’t going to let Blank get away with this. So when it came to checking out, Google packed everything without even bothering to stick to a human pace, whilst Blank continued to smugly stay close to him and relish in what he’d reduced his boyfriend to.

‘You sweeties enjoy the holidays!’

The cashier called after them with a giggle, which made Blank smirk as Google growled. As they left the store with everything bagged in the trolley, Google could feel his embarrassment diminishing…and his need to have vengeance rising. He was similarly inhuman with his speed of loading all their purchases into the car and returning the trolley, and as Blank made to go around to sit in the front passenger seat….Google gripped his forearm.

‘Get into the seat behind mine. Now.’

Blank’s overwhelming smugness….wavered, just a tad, as Blank saw the danger in his Google’s smile. Blank knew he’d been a teasy shit, and on the inside he’d known there were going to be consequences, which was kinda why he’d done it. Google’s consequences were often rather enjoyable. So, Blank decided to maintain his cheeky, boyish grin as he slipped into the back seat behind Google’s driver seat. Then, Google too got into the car, locked it….and proceeded to tint each and every window, and the front and back windscreens so that anyone walking past wouldn’t be able to see in. Blank was analysing Google’s actions with a giddy, yet nervous curiosity…he knew he was in for some kind of punishment, but as of yet he wasn’t sure of what it would entail; so of course, he asked cheekily.

‘Tinting the windows huh? Are gonna make out a little before we head home?’

Google let out a soft laugh through his nose, before cocking his head at Blank and purring.

‘As enjoyable as that sounds, you and I both know that is not what you deserve in this moment. What is going to happen now, is you are going to remove your shoes and socks, and give them to me.’

Blank’s eyes widened. This could only mean one thing, one consequence. His hands and fingers were shaking as he started to blush, not hesitating to comply with his boyfriend’s command. He wordlessly handed his sneakers and black socks over, making Google smile as he took them and set them aside.

‘Good boy, now….’

Blank watched with nervous, curious eyes as Google lifted the head rest up and off of the driver’s seat. His toes curled as Google purred, his azure eyes gleaming behind his spectacles.

‘Feet up.’

Blank complied once more, settling in the back seat as he rested his feet on the top of Google’s seat. He squeaked when Google gripped his ankles and yanked his feet forwards, and Blank hid in his hoodie when he heard Google chuckle…before putting the head rest back onto the seat. The head rest slipped back into place snugly, trapping Blank’s ankles, and leaving his bare feet vulnerable and exposed for whatever Google desired. Google hummed as he observed his boyfriend’s pale, scrunched soles fondly.

‘Do you know what I’m going to do to you?’

Blank nibbled his bottom lip, shivering as he tentatively looked to Google; he whispered meekly.

‘….t-….uh…p-punish me?’

‘Hmm….you are correct, but what is it I am punishing you for?’

Blank was about to open his mouth to answer, when he let out a surprised squeak. Google had begun tracing his soles with all his fingertips, with his eyebrow raised expectantly. Blank understood that Google was still expecting him to answer him, no matter what else was happening. Blank clapped a hand over his mouth as giggles spilled from his lips….oh this was going to be diabolical.

‘I-Ihihit’s b-behecause-ohomygohod….i-ihihit’s….’

Blank let out a light whine, he couldn’t get his words out through his goddamn giggles! Google meanwhile just kept on tracing all over his feet, relishing in the gasps and giggles that he adored so much. Blank’s mirth was utter perfection in Google’s eyes, and he took any and every opportunity to coax it out.

‘Yes dear?’

Blank squeaked and spluttered when Google lightly skittered over the balls of his feet, making Blank scrunch and tug weakly at his trapped feet.

‘P-P-Pleheheeease I-I c-cahan’t t-tahalk lihike thihihis!’

Google cocked his head at Blank softly, smiling with innocent nonchalance as he replied.

‘And yet you still are perfectly coherent. Don’t worry, you can take your time, it’s not like you’re going anywhere.’

Blank threw his head back with his loud giggles as he tugged at his feet more and more, the incessant tickling at the balls of his feet was really affecting the poor guy. Blank knew he had to do everything he could to answer Google’s questions though, it was Google’s thing whenever he tickled, he asked question after question after question like he was doing an experiment.

'Ohohogohod ohohokahay I-I wahas cheheeky!’

Blank squealed out his words as Google lightly raked his nails up and down Blank’s taut, ticklish inner arches. The android smirked, letting out a satisfied hum at his boyfriend’s adorable compliance.

‘That’s right my dear, you were cheeky….very, very cheeky…’

Blank got chills down his spine at Google’s cool, deep tone of voice, and whimpered when Google made his inner-arch tickling devilishly light.

‘Why don’t you list all of the cheeky things you did?’

Blank hit his car seat, the light sensations making him want to curl up and hide away forever as electricity coursed through his body. It took him about a minute of whimpery giggling before he managed to even think about answering, all throughout which Google observed, lovingly. Google adored how ticklish Blank was to even the lightest of touches, it was endearing, and marvellously enjoyable to exploit during moments like this.

‘I-Ihihi r-rahahan wihith the t-trohoholley!’

Google hummed, tracing the wrinkles in the centres of Blank’s scrunched soles.

‘Yes, and?’

Blank softly squealed and hid his face in his hands, his giggling becoming intermingled with soft squeaks and hiccups now; his replies were getting faster too.

‘I-I-Ihihi p-puhut stuhuhuff ihin the troholley wehe d-d-dihidn’t nehEED!’

Blank jumped and yelped when Google sneakily scratched the pad of one of his big toes, which spurred Google to softly trace over both his big toes as he purred evilly.

‘Mmmm, that was particularly cheeky of you….but what was the naughtiest thing you did, hmm?’

Blank’s face was screwed up and his eyes were squeezed shut as colour bloomed on his normally pale face, and his lips spread into a wide, embarrassed grin; the tickling was one thing, but making him talk amidst it all? That’s what made it true tickle torture for Blank.

‘IHI EHEMBARRASSED YOHOHOU!’

Blank was squealing and laughing his head off as Google took time and pleasure over scratching every single pad of every single one of Blank’s little, pale toes. This was the pinnacle of the punishment and Google was going to make sure the punishment wasn’t forgotten in a hurry.

‘Yes, you did. Despite knowing how much public displays of affection cause the human flustered emotion to rise within me, you partook in them with me anyway, for your own naughty amusement….’

Blank let out a shrill wail, tugging at his poor feet desperately as he became more and more teary eyed with every passing second.

‘IHIHI’M SAHARRY!’

Google hummed, casting his gaze over his precious, writhing boyfriend with tender amusement dancing in his eyes. He kept tickling his toes deftly as he leant towards him a tad, purring.

‘Sorry for what exactly?’

Google raised a brow amidst his query, and that teasiness on top of the tickling just brought Blank to his adorable limit.

‘EHEHEVERYTHIHING! AHAHALL OHOF IHIIIT!’

At Blank’s high-pitched wail, Google reasoned that Blank had received an adequate amount of punishment in relation to his cheekiness during their extended errand, so he had mercy. He efficiently released his boyfriend’s feet, and chuckled amusedly when Blank immediately set about bringing his legs close to his chest. Blank was giggling residually and embarrassedly into his knees, but peeked form his hiding spot when he felt a warmth settle on one of his hands.

‘Are you alright?’

Blank melted at the softness of Google’s voice, and looked to see that Google had placed one of his hands on one of his and was rubbing his knuckles tenderly. Blank wordlessly nodded with a bashful smile, and leant forward so he could kiss the android’s hand. Google chuckled fondly, and was about to suggest that make-out session that Blank had previously brought up….when they both suddenly heard a disgruntled gurgle come from the car’s cup-holders. They both looked, and Blank giggled when he saw Gooper lightly squirming.

‘Ohoops, dihidn’t see ya there bud…’

Blank giggled whilst Gooper gurgled once more, this time for a tad longer. Google hummed as he listened to the slightly drowsy creature, before smiling to his boyfriend in amusement.

‘It seems he is displeased at being so roughly awoken from his naptime, but he is happy to take your socks as compensation. He wants to snuggle them.’

Blank spluttered and let out a snort, before picking up his socks and softly tucking them into the cup-holders with Gooper, who purred in thanks before settling down in the new warmth to resume his nap. Meanwhile, the make-out session was put on hold….for the half an hour it took for them to get back home, deposit their purchases, and for Google to carry his cute, barefoot human to their privacy.

WOOOO DAY NUMBER 3 COMPLETE, LEMME KNOW IF YOU GUYS ENJOYED IT WOOO LYV YOUS XX

Random/Obscure OC Questions

tagged by: @ihopethismakessense thank!

Tagging: @glitchvault74, @roachvalentine, @gobs-saloon, @potatocrab, @falloutdovah, @memailikesnukacola, @nuclear-darling, @diredigression@wastelandersparadise @stopraidingmyhearttwo AND THE PERSON READING THIS! YOU WANNA DO IT! HAVE AT IT!

WELP TIME FOR THE VAULT CREW!

What modern-world candy would they love the most?

Nova would be the candy queen! Her fav kinds would be like Sour Patch Kids, Warheads, Pixy Stix, cinnamon or cherry flavored candy, and those lollipops with like insects inside (she’d scream and shove folks out of the way for a scorpion one tbh)

Echo loves Recess Pieces, mint chocolate, blue raspberry flavored candy (jolly ranchers, gummies, etc), and lemon drops

Whisper definitely a fan of black licorice (why else would she name her cat that), dark chocolate, lemon drops (Echo shares), honey sticks/candy, coffee jelly beans.

Barclay is a fan of peppermints, jelly beans (popcorn and rootbeer are his favs to find lol), Mr. Good Bars, lbr fan of chocolate and peanuts, gummy worms, those wax bottle candies, butterscotch hard candy.

Danny would probably like...red vines, skittles, white chocolate, sour candy, soda flavored candy.

Chocolate? Vanilla? Other?

Chocolate squad - Nova, Whisper, Echo (but depends on the type of chocolate)

Vanilla Beans - Echo, Nova, Barclay

ngl i think I’ve done this one before but I forget WHO likes what askdfhfd

What was their first kiss like, if it has happened?

Honestly? Nova was probably everyone of the Vault Crew’s first kiss. She gotta spread the love and also thinks the whole “First kiss is sacred and must be saved for the right one” Is hella dumb thing to worry about. One of few things she and Danny agree on.

Her first kiss was Echo. Echo made her happy so, as a thank you, she placed her hands on Echo’s cheeks and just pulled her in. It was short and sweet and very damn messy. And then Nova got up and went to go kiss everyone else cause heck! That felt amazing and fun and SHE GOTTA SPREAD THE JOY!!! Meanwhile, Echo was reeling from wtf just happened lol (they’re not interested in each other romantically after a bit of time...in any case their ship name would be “Ballroom Blitz” just saying lol)

The one who held most resistance was Danny, but as they say, when an unstoppable force meets and unmovable object, Nova picked him up, kissed him, and then put him to sleep. Dumbass had stayed up too long.

Barclay was like “Yeah sure!” and felt loads better that the weight of worrying about his first kiss “needing to be perfect” was over. Now he could easily sweet talk any guy without worrying about how good it’d be to kiss them.

Whisper read Nova’s mind and swept Nova off her feet before kissing her. Nova motherfuckin loved it and then ran off to try that on somebody.

Are their parents alive?

Echo & Barclay’s parents (reminder they siblings) are alive and living in Maine. They don’t know it aaaand they don’t know where they are...but they’re out there.

The rest of the vault crew doesn’t know who their parents are and are content with that. What no its not a cop out for me cause I didn’t think about making parents nah nooooo.

What’s their guilty pleasure?

Nova? feeling guilty of anything? PSH

Echo - listening to Silver Shroud, reading uh...certain books, and this girl is motherfuckin touch starved SO

Barclay - music with really good harmonies.

Whisper - listening in telepathically on the drama going on in other people’s lives...beating the shit out of dough 

Danny - ...staying awake longer than he’s supposed to

What’s their favorite ingame location?

I actually haaaave answered this! [here]

What would their World of Warcraft/DnD class be?

I’ve never played WoW so D&D!

Echo - Warlock. I mean come oooon. Dogmeat is totally her eldritch patron god familiar. He thinks she’s neat. This is the spooky class. It her.

Barclay - Bard. He’s 1000% a bard. Dude’s highly charismatic and his powers are vocal/voice based. He’s such a fuckin bard it hurts.

Nova - Barbarian. She fights with her fists and her heart! She MUST be able to deadlift her friends just for the heck of it.

Whisper - Druid. She’d love the FUCK out of being able to shapeshift and also loves animals way more than people but pretends that that is not the case. She’d talk shit about folks with her black cat Licorice.

Danny - Wizard. Absolutely 100% high int, low wis. Thinks he’s better than everyone and is a total asshole. Very easy to defeat lbr. All you gotta do is fuckin put him in a sleeper hold and dumbass is out like a light. Fully believes the whole “Knowledge is power and I’m smarter than you so I’m a god” type of deal.

Ring around the rosies

He was carrying the plague.

Until you see someone with the plague, which until that point I hadn’t, you can’t imagine the strange feeling that being so close to such a specific kind of horror evokes.  It’s somewhere between fascination, disgust, and temptation.  I imagine it’s a lot like standing harmlessly within eyesight of a slowmoving stream of molten lava.  It’s close to the feeling I get when I walk by low hanging powerlines, actually, the odd realization that there is something sitting or standing right in front of you that is unimaginably massive even though it’s life-size and accessible.  You’re tempted to touch it for reasons that you’re not quite sure of.  It’s not that you want to disprove its power—you know it can kill you—and it’s not that you want to be “consumed” by it or anything poetic like that.  Its unreality is romantic, is all.  By putting your hand on it you might absorb some of its charm.

His sores were goiter-sized and stuck out from his neck and armpits.  Unexceptional, really—nothing compared to that guy on the Discovery Channel whose severe HPV has given his hands the appearance of tree limbs.   Thick globs of sputum, as red as maraschino cherries, had collected along the corners of his mouth.  Disgusting, again, but again it wasn’t something that I hadn’t seen on a sick cat. He wore gloves that showed off the gangrenous tips of his fingers, so we could see how they were white black and orange like nubs of poorly painted candy corn.  These gave him his allure, I think, along with the nature of his disease.  He was disgusting and horrifying, but not in a way that he couldn’t have hidden from all of us, if he had wanted to.  Mouths can be washed, after all, and most gloves come equipped with fingers.  On top of it all, he wasn’t contagious, not unless we fondled him or he tried jabbing the end of one of those hideous little nubby fingers into one of our eyes or mouths.  What could have transmitted his disease from him to us was something that, unlike a cold or flu or cancer, we could see and so we knew we were safe from.  There were no rats around, no fleas either.

“I come bearing plague!”

“Yeah…what of it?”

I was the first to speak to him, and I would have said something more respectful or sympathetic if he hadn’t seemed to have been trying so hard to put on a show.  Who “bears” anything nowadays, really?

There was an uncomfortable pause, as my coworkers weren’t already as tired with the man as was I.  Charles, the older, well-read  man whose desk is next to mine, was the first to speak.  Trembling, he asked whether the plague was bubonic or not.

“Welp…” the man took a second to spit out a chunk of expectorant that may or may not have been chaw.  “I ‘bout reckon it what be the kind you says it is.”  

Charles let out a sigh of relief and encouraged everyone else to do the same.  Then he told us that Bubonic plague couldn’t be spread from human to human.  We were safe so long as there were no rats around.

The man began to give a prepared speech.  I found myself being constrained towards respecting him in the same way that being wrapped in a very tight jacket would constrain me towards feeling warm.  This wasn’t a begrudging respect, but a shameful one—an undeniable respect that is born of circumstances. My attempt to dismiss the man as an attention seeker was understandable.  If there was a way out of respecting him I would have taken it in a second and that’s what I’d tried to do when I was rude to him.  But there wasn’t a way out of respecting him, no matter what I tried.  This respect made it so I had no choice but to listen to every word he was saying, and the need to listen to him was so strong that I wasn’t even worried about exposing myself to his disease.  

You should hope you never get the plague since it’s a horrible way to die.  If you ever do get it, though, and if you’re the type who tends to make lemonade after life has handed you lemons, then you should live it up exactly in the same way that this man did.  What he did was he made his repugnance palatable by putting up a mealy-jowled front of retarded hillbilly modesty.  He hadn’t come up here to give us’all the plague, he said.  Nuh, uh.  All he wanted to do was share with us his vision of the future and hope we’d have sense enough to take him seriously.

“Shucks,” he said.  He was finishing up his take on the myriad threats that lay before us, our country, our generation, and the world. “I ain’t no one but nobody.”  *spit*.  “But if’n there’s some folk out there a’fixin’ to do me wrong, why I’m a’fixin’ to do him wrong first.”

The entire room began to clap. I clapped, too, though it was more out of an obligation to not set myself apart from my coworkers than from being impressed with the man, his disease, or his humble oration.  I was not a high-ranking member of my office, and personal experience has taught me that unless you pull enough weight to get yourself out of bad situations, it’s best not to stick out from the crowd when every person around you is being fired into action by the advice of simpleton.   That’s what I did instead of puzzling over the man or being sick with my coworkers for so freely buying into his nonsense:  I worried about my job and then congratulated myself afterwards for having done nothing.

Of course, I had done something.  I had caught the plague.  And so had the whole rest of the office, every other office on our floor, and several other floorsworth of offices.  Everyone was mad at Charles at first since he had been the one to promise us that the plaguebearer wasn’t contagious.  Once again, logic dictated that we should have directed our anger towards the plaguebearer himself, or even towards ourselves for being so eager to sit around him.  For the love of god, streams flew from his sores when he moved his arm up to underscore a point or strained his head to listen to a question! A few of us had even high-fived and hugged him before he left.  But I kept this concern and confusion to myself and, sure enough, after a few days people didn’t blame Charles anymore.

None of us were allowed time off of work.  We couldn’t leave until we were dead, and if Blue Cross/Blue Shield was worth a damn thing, our supervisor told us from behind a plastic quarantine sheet, we wouldn’t be dying anytime soon.

“If it was just one or two of you” she continued, bulging out her eyes in a way meant to convey the deepest of professional sympathies, “then of course we’d give you time to get well at home.  But right now—golly, you’re our entire shipping wing.  If we let you guys go we’d be crippling the whole company, wouldn’t we be.”

Her words left us feeling so important and needed that we were blind to the injustice of our situation.  Surely even in Thailand, where children sewed together the line of child’s activewear that our division sold and shipped, people would be given some time off if they came down with the bubonic plague.  But we were proud to be working through this.  The worst of us—the elderly, the disabled, and the fat, the ones who were showing the most strain from the disease—they were all but deified.  Outwardly I kept up a hard-working front, but on the inside I was cracking up.  Did the people around me realize that they needed medical attention or they were going to die?  Didn’t I realize this?  Why was I just sitting here working instead of waiting until no one was around and making my way through the quarantine plastic?  It was nothing a pair of scissors couldn’t handle.

The man who brought the plague was spoken of often and always in respectful terms.  No one was able to recall quite what it was that he had told us, but everyone hoped that he was still out there spreading the good word and that people were still listening to him. Of course we were doing what he would have wanted us to do—he was out doing his job even when he was sick, and we were doing the same.  It was enough to make everyone proud to the point of working even harder and even faster.  The old people began dying from exhaustion and we had to clear out a supply closet to house their corpses.

I abandoned all thought of escape.  If it was as easy as I had earlier assumed then logically I would have done it already, I figured.  The pain was excruciating for me as it was for everybody else, but still I played up my illness, saying that I had already had asthma and that the plague had only worsened it. This made it so I could work at half productivity but get treated as well as if I were doing double what everyone else was.   I would fill out some forms, feign an attack, and then lay under my desk for an hour or two and think about things.  Mostly I thought about the plague, about what it was now and what it used to be.

The plague is a pre-Perspective oil painting of a smiling skeleton dancing circles around a pile of mournful Christians.  The skeleton is stained yellow from the age of his canvas and he’s standing right behind a doorway sometimes, when there’s something out of the corner of my that’s not a person or a piece of furniture that I recognize right away.  I never turn my head to look at it, in this circumstance, because in this case I can’t control its horror by telling myself that it’s not as scary as the skin diseases I have seen on cable television.  This manifestation of the plague actually gains its power from the fact that it is not a figment of my imagination. If I turn my head and realize that I’m just seeing something, I will also have to realize that what I saw was real.

Back before people didn’t realize the value of thing things down in prose, they still felt the need the need to eternalize the greatest beauties through verse and the lessons of life through spoken fables and religious dictums.  Old paintings served virtually no purpose except to present general diagrams of things that, due to the crude nature their visual representation, are easy to universalize.  Plague-era paintings still do a wonderful job of relaying a message of universal, timeless sorrow.  The people look like plastic toys and are not drawn in proper perspective, the flames are just orange lines, and the skeletons dancing around them look plucked from Sillie Symphonies cartoons.  All this crudity makes them all the more real and powerful.

“Tristan!”  There’s a tap above my head, on my desk.  I’ve been sleeping.  When I pulled myself up, exaggeratedly slowly to appear as sick as possible and not get in trouble for napping on the job, I saw Charles standing there.  He was the most senior member of the staff who hadn’t died, and as much of a leader as we have in the office.  Our supervisor was there, too, wearing a HAZMAT suit and holding a plaque.  Everything was surrounded in a warm orange light and my heart began beating so quickly I could feel it in my hands because I thought I was dead.

Then the whole room whispered “surprise.”  They said it in the exact same tone and pitch they would have used if they were yelling it out to a 6-year-old at a party, but they did in a soft whisper.  It was terrifying.  I began to cry and tell them about how horrible the plague was, I wailed as loudly as I could and begged them all to reset time and go back to when the man visited us so that we’d have sense enough to have never touched the him.

No one could understand a word I was saying.  My tears had been mistaken for tears of joy.  I was being given the Employee of the Month award.

“For hard work in spite of adversity,” said the plaque.  “So young to be so sick,” said my coworkers.  An older lady pinched my cheek.  An even older lady patted my ass.  It was awkward but it also made me feel good, being recognized like that.  There was cake but of course I was in no position to eat it.  Besides, they knew that a go-getter like me wouldn’t want to sit around stuffing his face when there was work to be done.

I had to die, now.  Otherwise they’d know I was faking it and all the respect I’d earned have been lost.  I had to keep working until I could no longer work.  I had to stop faking asthma attacks and let the plague do its job.  I was the youngest here, after all.  With any luck I’d outlive the rest of them.  Then I’d be shoe-in to win Employee of the Month again.  Now, as I type, fill forms, and make calls, I can’t help but think that the visit from the plaugebearer was a blessing in disguise.  No, I don’t really remember what it was he said, but there had to have been some worth to it.  Otherwise, no one would have respected him so much.

Lemons and Cherry (Soulmate! Seungcheol)

a/n: anon requested a soulmate seungcheol au but including a ridiculous aspect, I also made the title a little different to set it apart from the other one

so here it goes

soulmate au in which you taste what your soulmate taste

yes it sounds really weird at first, even seungcheol thinks it’s really weird until he finds out that the devil is the one who decided his fate

why

because his damn soulmate is in love with lemon flavored everything

lemon hard candies, lemon suckers, and he swears they ate a whole lemon one time

Constant anxiety because lemons are his worst nightmare

Always feels like he has the after taste of lemons

he hates it most then they’re eating anything hard that’s flavored with lemons because then he’s forced to taste the lemon flavor longer and all he wants to do it spit it out

tries to eat over the flavor, but he can always still taste it

he still does it though because at least it kind of overrides the flavor

thus he always has cherry flavored hard candies on hand

and guess what

you absolutely hate cherries and its flavor

and because you think he loves cherry flavored candy, now you carry around a lot of lemon flavored candies

thus starts a very unnecessary candy flavor war

“Seungcheol your teeth are going to rot if you keep eating all those hard candies”

“THEY’RE EATING LEMON CANDY SO I NEED TO EAT CHERRY”

other than the war between lemons and cherry

there’s this one taste that Seungcheol is always watering his mouth over

it taste like cookies, but these aren’t just any cookies, no, they’re cookies handmade by angels with chocolate raindrops from heaven and the taste alone is not satisfying, he want to have the actual cookies so bad

and everyone knows when he’s tasting the cookies because his eyes like roll around, and he’s drooling a large puddle and

“SEUNGCHEOL STOP HAVING A FOODGASM”

Seungcheol meets you in the hallway of university

it was an accident in which of course 13 boys could not fit onto one side of the hallway and someone thought it would be a great idea to try and fit four boys in a row on one side of the hallway

Seungcheol got the end closest to the oncoming traffic, and when someone *cough*jihoon*cough* shoves Soonyoung next to him, it pushes Seungcheol into the oncoming students and then there’s a big accident

Seungcheol collides with you in the middle of the hallway, his bag flies out as well as yours and everyone does the whole exaggerated gasp as if something actually terrible happened

but while he’s sitting on his bum, he looks up to see the smallest and probably the cutest person he’s ever laid eyes on

“i-i’m so sorry!” he’s screaming apologies and instead of trying to collect his own stuff that flew everywhere, he’s helping collect your own things

and that’s when he notices it, the array of red and yellow colors decorating the entire floor

cherry and lemon flavored candy

and for a moment he thinks this is all a coincidence, anyone can have lemon flavored candy in their bag right

but it isn’t until, you and seungcheol are all packed up, ready to go that you unwrap a lemon sucker, popping it in your mouth with a toothy grin and a hand out “I’m Y/N”

the taste of lemon fills his mouth and he doesn’t gag or complain

instead he unwraps a cherry sucker, letting the flavor sit in his mouth and watches your expression become shaken, a grin on your face as he holds your hand “Choi Seungcheol also known as your soulmate”

the rest of the boys are standing in the back gagging at that lame attempt to seem cool as a soulmate

decides to skip his class and walks with you to yours (much to Jeonghan’s dismay since seungcheol was his chem lab partner but nooo seungcheol claims soulmates are more important than keeping his C in chemistry)

“I HATE LEMON FLAVORED THINGS THATS WHY I ALWAYS ATE CHERRY”

“WHAT! I HATE CHERRY FLAVORED THINGS WHICH IS WHY I ATE LEMON”

finally the whole situation and misunderstanding that has continued throughout seungcheol’s entire life is now resolved and he never has to eat cherry hard candy again

you and seungcheol actually start to have a distaste for both lemon and cherry flavored candy

Seungcheol claims it’s a couple thing now

You and Seungcheol become close really quickly

(very awkward sexy times when it comes to oral)

it takes him a week before he remembers the cookies made from heaven

“COOKIES!” he screams randomly

“uh okay Cheol, if you wanted cookies just ask for it you don’t have to scream the word”

“NO! YOU ALWAYS EAT THESE COOKIES THAT ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL THINGS I HAVE EVER TASTED”

you don’t know exactly what he’s talking about since the only cookies you usually eat are the ones you make from scratch and you don’t even think they’re that good but seungcheol once again is claiming they’re handcrafted from god himself

Pleads for you to make them for him

and finally after 100 puppy eyes and kisses all over your face, you fall in defeat and agree to make the cookies

Seungcheol is already drooling at the smell of the cookies in the oven and he’s practically drowning in his drool

tries to eat it right out of the oven but you slap his hand away telling them that they have to cool

he’s actually crying as he eats the cookies because they’re so much better in his mouth than when he was just tasting

becomes territorial of the cookies now, doesn’t even want you to eat it

“SEUNGCHEOL I MADE THEM. I CAN TASTE IT, LET ME HAVE ONE”

“SUFFER LIKE I SUFFERED MY WHOLE LIFE. THESE COOKIES ARE MINE”

you once made cookies for the rest of the boys but they all only got one cookie before Seungcheol barged in and stole them all

“You’re gonna get fat from all those cookies”

“Worth it, my soulmate are the cookies”

your relationship is a very lovable one

Seungcheol is a clingy little shit that wants to basically be carried around in your pocket so he can always be with you

Also wants a lil you that he can carry around in his pocket

Arguments that end with each other threatening to eat cherries or lemons

but it’s always resolved with a big bear Cheol hug and him whispering in your ear that he loves you

Once again, soulmate seungcheol loves you with the entirety of his heart, despite having to taste lemon most of his life, it was a risk he’s willing to take since he get to eat cookies be with you.

Junkfoodio Rambleosa!

This is almost all I have left of this most recent junk food splurging madness. This write up might be slightly longer than usual as a result, but not as long as it could have been. I might be able to squeeze yet another ramble out of what's left. You're welcome. Or I may simply decide enough is enough and forego any more food musings. You're twice as welcome. Some of these may not be all that new/exclusive/limited/whatever by the time this hits the wonders of the internet press, but they are new to me as of this writing. If they've been out awhile, this is simply the first time I stumbled across them while out and about. So let's just get to it. -Thomas' S'mores Mini bagels! A slight chocolate smell, as if they were lightly dusted with cocoa (they're not) but no real s'more flavor. There's a light chocolate flavor in the aftertaste, but it's not enough to make these memorable or worth seeking out. -How will the Thomas' S'mores English Muffin fare, then? To begin, it's a sickly cocoa color, so at first glance at least it appears that it may be chock full of flavor. It smells like a doughy s'more, so that's a good start. The flavor is definitely closer to a s'more than the mini bagels, but it doesn't quite get it right. Again, it's too... doughy. If that makes sense. Maybe s'more just isn't a flavor that translates to bread products. These were still enjoyable overall, though, and were good all warm and toasty with a dab of butter. Definitely the one to try. -Triscuit Ginger & Lemongrass! Is there a greater food complexity than Triscuits? It seems we all wake up one day after reaching a certain age, and we just instinctively, and suddenly, like Triscuits. If this rule doesn't apply to you, then a-ha! You are an android, and you have failed my fail proof method of sussing you out. This particular Triscuit could prove problematic. I'm of a mind to think it will either be heinous, or not so bad. So far, Triscuits have been pretty consistent in making their off color ventures relatively successful, so the odds are in their favor. Everything about this particular version turns out to be... faint. There are very faint notes of ginger and lemon upon opening the bag, but you must take a deep breath in. There is a very faint ginger and lemon taste when chewing, but it recedes rather quickly. These work okay enough, and I enjoyed them as is, but this is one Triscuit that truly begs to be topped with something, where the faint ginger and lemon aspects would play a small part to a whole. These may also work well crumbled into a soup of sorts. -Triscuit Fig & Honey! These gave me an audible "Oh!" moment when I first saw them on the store shelf. I never knew I needed this until it was presented to me. Unfortunately, I was slightly let down by the experience once I opened the bag. There is a light fig aroma to be detected, but it could also be perceived as an earthy tone. It's not that it's bad, it's just not the sweet kick I was expecting to take in. The first few bites are also the same, a light fig/earthy presence that doesn't impress or dissuade. Then the honey note kicks in, and it has a burnt or old aspect to it that doesn't play well on the tongue. I suppose Triscuit was due for a misfire, but I wouldn't have guessed this would be the one. Overall, it's still an okay snack, and it too may best be served with an accompanying topping, but I'm less inclined to explore that option than I was with the Ginger & Lemongrass ones. -Utz Grilled Hot Dog potato chips! Oddly enough, upon first whiff these remind me ever so slightly of the Crab Chip that Utz (and others) produce. Which is peculiar for a hot dog flavored chip. If you're not familiar with the crab chip, it's a chip made with Old Bay seasoning. If you're unfamiliar with Old Bay, then you are not from, or have never visited, the East Coast. It's a staple seasoning blend, and over the last few years it has grown quite noticeably, and one can find "crab seasoning" on all sorts of food items. It was fun at first to see someone put it on a chip, and it's not bad on a chicken wing, but purists will maintain it's strictly for seafood, with crabs (obviously) being the absolute number one use. Followed very closely by shrimp, then followed by every other type of seafood. But I digress... heavily. Taste wise, the first thing I notice is salt. These are quite salty. The second thing I noticed was a heavy smoke flavor, which isn't the most pleasant thing to get from a chip, but I must admit it does make me think of something being grilled. The last flavor that is at play here is mustard. Underneath the salt and the smoke is a clear and distinct mustard element. I like the mustard part actually, and am sad it comes after the too much salt and smoke parts. I can't say it distinctly reminds me of a hot dog, but a grilled something or other element is there. -Utz Cheeseburger potato chips! Will these best the not quite right hot dog chips? Let's see. First whiff gives me a very faint ketchup odor, but one that is overpowered by a pickle aroma. Taste wise, I would have to say the same. They taste like a dollop of ketchup that was mixed with some pickle juice, and at the tail end there is also a salty cheese element that comes out. I don't get any smokiness like the hot dog one, so the cheeseburger or grill element is missing. As they stand, it's a weird ketchup/pickle/cheese chip. It's not gross, but they're rather forgettable, and after eating a few I noticed that again, these are quite salty. It left out in a bowl with no labeling, I imagine most would think they're either a pickle chip, or some kind of cheese and onion flavor. -Little Debbie PB Rounds! A fudge dipped peanut butter sandwich cookie. Well, isn't that cute? They've scored the top in the method of a traditional peanut butter cookie. It also tastes like a peanut butter cookie dipped in chocolate, so there's nothing else to add about it. It was good, and if you like peanut butter cookies dipped in chocolate, give this one a spin. My one complaint is that the cookie parts were a little too thick. This needed to be an ever so slightly thinner treat. Well, now that I think about it, I have another complaint. The peanut butter is a little too sugary and fake. It won't stop me from finishing the box over some time, but I do wish it was slightly less artificial as well. But it's a snack cake from Little Debbie. It's going to be fake, and at worst a bad Little Debbie treat is still alright enough to eat, so why am I complaining? -Keebler Lemon Cream Pie Fudge Stripe cookies! Almost nothing to say about these. They are exactly what they promise to be. A lemon cookie with some icing. They're good, and if you like such things, they're worth a taste.   -Hostess Summer Berry Donettes! Smell like blueberries, taste like raspberries and have the color of some kind of sangria Kool-Aid. They are however, quite tasty with a very nice moistness level. They don't seem as thick as other donettes I've had. They seem a little flatter and a litter rounder. Or I'm just crazy. I like these a lot. -Pop-Tarts Frosted Chocolate Sugar Cookie. No exclamation point. Pop-Tarts deserve no exclaims, certainly no acclaim. Dry. Dusty. Tasteless. Sad. Drywallesque.  I imagine these are merely left over World War I rations Kellogg's repackaged and then painted pictures on. Oh, yeah. For whatever weird reason these have villains from the DC comics realm plastered on them. The one I begrudgingly took a solitary bite from had someone named Cheetah on it. I don't know who that is, but she looked like a sexy Thundercat and was in a bikini. That's the only exciting thing about this travesty of a treat. But aren't Pop-Tarts meant to be for kids? Why are you pasting nearly naked, top heavy cat ladies on a kids food item? They're eating a Pop-Tart, for crying out loud! Their young little lives have already been messed up enough! Don't warp their brains, too. Shame at you Kellogg's. -Jolly Rancher Green Apple Pop-Tarts. They did it. Those crafty bastards actually did it. Foil wrapped HATE that you can buy for roughly three bucks a box. With the added stank of a green apple candy flavor, the worst candy flavor. I tried one, and if I saw these in a bunker I was to live in after a nuclear fallout, I'd go back outside and take my chances instead. To be honest, if I even see these on a store shelf again, it might cause me to spontaneously diarrhea all over the store and anyone therein while simultaneously setting fires in the hopes it erases these foul and vile things from the planet. If the judge and jury at my impending trial has tasted one of these, there is no way I'll be convicted. Eat this damn thing at your own peril. -Jolly Rancher Cherry Pop-Tarts. To be fair (immediately previous comments excepted) there are a couple of the fruit Pop-Tarts that are just barely passable as an edible entity that I can get through without too much fuss. This isn't one of them. Of the three here, it's the one that didn't make me want to decide to live solely on plain oatmeal, but there's a tartness to it that I didn't find appealing. I haven't had a Jolly Rancher candy since I was kid, and have no recall of their flavor, so maybe this tartness is in fact a component to the candy they were able to get into the tart. If so, good for them. For me, this tastes like a lemon/cherry Pop-Tart which leans too heavily on the lemon. Maybe that sounds good to others, and were it a real pastry I'd probably like it, but in Pop-Tart form,  I'll pass.   -Strawberry Nut M&M's! A tasty little devil, with flavor profiles in perfect proportion. Unlike some of the specific seasonal fare M&M tries, this one seems like someone actually worked at getting the balance right. If you like peanut M&m's and you like strawberry flavoring, this is a good match. The only complaint is I felt more than a handful was too much with this one. This is a snack best done in small doses, so a bag may last you a little while. -Krispy Kreme Glazed Birthday Cake Mini Crullers! Well, I can't say these don't taste like a birthday cake. The problem is they taste very much like a stale sheet cake one would get at the not so great grocery store you never really go to, but it's on the way to work and you have to bring something for the office party and you just don't have time for anything else. -Twizzlers Key Lime Pie twists! They do taste like a key lime pie, surprisingly enough. However, the gummy/chewy aspect of these make them a bit gross somehow. It's just not right. Softer than a normal Twizzler, it's like having a glob of melting putty in your mouth. I give them credit for getting the flavor right, but a solid pass for the experience as a whole. -Twizzlers Orange Cream twists! These taste like orange medicine. Do not like. Don't want. Moving on. Nope. No moving on. That's a wrap! I've said all I can say and my brain is on full sugar crash mode and barely functioning. Seems I forgot the obligatory sexist comment about some female celebrity, though. Hmm. Um. Tonks (Natalia Tena) from the Harry Potter movies can Hufflepuff my Slytherin anytime. Good enough? Way too much? Eh. I'm going to bed.

all of the ice cream flavors🍦

HELL YEAH ANON

chocolate- when was your first kiss?

it was in seventh grade, i was 12 and it was around the end of the school year

french vanilla- how old are you?

i am fourteen

cotton candy- three places you want to travel to?

i’m not sure actually

strawberry- a language you wish you could speak?

latin so i don’t fail the class next year 

coffee- favorite cosmetic brands?

i like urban decay their products are pretty good but i can’t really afford popular makeup brands

mint chocolate chip- indoors or outdoors?

depends on the weather

cookie dough- do you play any instruments?

i play the piano

rocky road- already answered!

butter pecan- favorite songs for life?

robbers by the 1975 and 2112 by rush probably

cheesecake- what’s your zodiac sign?

im a leo, but i was born on august 21st so one day later and i would’ve been a virgo

toasted coconut- beach or pool?

beach 

chocolate chip- what’s your most popular post?

a post i made about jj from yuri on ice

bubblegum- books or movies?

books probably

pistachio- manga or anime?

i never really got the chance to read very much manga so anime

salted caramel- favorite movies?

i love most ghibli stuff, watched this movie called gbf recently that was good also

birthday cake- favorite books?

i’ll give you the sun and carry on

moose tracks- favorites for manga?

i never read many mangas

orange sherbet- favorites for anime?

yuri on ice for sure, i still like dbz, but most of the anime i’ve watched i’ve never finished so

peanut butter- favorite academic subject?

i don’t think art or music count so probably english because i love to write

black raspberry- do you have pets?

three, two goldfish and one cat named danny 

mango- already answered!

mocha- ideal weather conditions?

warm but not hot, sunny, but there’s a gentle breeze

black cherry- four words that describe you?

annoying, gay, tired, and sad

neopolitan- things that stress you out?

life

raspberry truffle- favorite kind of music?

ive been more into upbeat stuff lately, but i don’t really have a fav genre or anything

chocolate marshmallow- favorite brands of candy?

swedish fish are gr8 (apparently my whole dads side of the family loves them too)

toffee- a card game that you’re good at?

i’ve won cards against humanity a few times

lemon custard- do you eat breakfast?

ya

dark chocolate- turn ons?

oh boy i’m not sure?? the only thing i can think is just like ppl that i find attractive being sexual or just looking attractive i’m pretty damn basic when it comes to that stuff. 

fudge- turn offs?

furries

peach- how do you relax?

what

praline- a popular book you haven’t read yet?

i haven’t read the hunger games

superman- do you like sweaters?

hell yeah

cherry- do you drink tea or coffee?

i drink tea on occasion but thats it

dulce de leche- an instrument you wish you could play?

electric guitar for sure

blackberry- already answered!

ginger- a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

functionality

blueberry lemon- favorite blogs?

@girlsoleil is my fav atm

almond- favorite mean girls quote?

no idea

butterscotch- what color are your nails right now?

chipped purple

cinnamon- have you ever been confessed to?

just last valentines day

blue moon- have you ever had a crush on someone?

yeah for sure

cappuccino crunch- do you take naps?

rarely

mint- the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

be born

brownie batter- do you like sushi?

only had it once but it was ok

key lime- where do you want to be right now?

in somebody’s arms

red velvet- do you wear prescription glasses?

yeah, not as often as i should though

green tea- favorite flavors of ice cream?

strawberry

thank you for asking!!!

How to get rid of love handles

The term "love handles" is a bit of a misnomer. In fact, when it comes to the sections of fat on the sides and front of your belly, there's no love lost. Love handles are zones of "stubborn fat," the first place guys gain it and the last it disappears. And sometimes, even though you've logged hours on the elliptical and the abs station, it can feel damn near impossible to get those little pockets of flab off your body.

But while shifting your lifestyle and altering your fitness regimen are essential for overhauling your physique, nothing is more vital to eliminating fat on your back and sides than nutrition.

"The most important part of losing any fat on your body, especially from your back and belly, is incorporating whole foods—nothing processed, packaged, or chemically altered—as your primary source of nutrition," says Liz Lowe, C.S.C.S., head program designer at Scorch Fitness, a high-intensity interval training gym in Sarasota, Florida. "By focusing on fruits, vegetables, grass-fed meats and eggs, healthy fats and anti-inflammatory roots and herbs, you can create a nutrition plan that will shed your stubborn love handles."

Here, we've listed Lowe's top nutrition, health, and lifestyle guidelines to start shedding fat. There's no get-ripped quick gimmick—just tried-and-true rules that will help you stay fit for life.

[RELATED1]

Part I: Nutrition

1. Don't cut carbs (especially pre- and post-workout)

Healthy complex carbs, such as sweet potatoes, black rice, and oats, keep your metabolism stimulated and give your body long-lasting energy, Lowe says. When your body feels deprived of this energy, it goes into starvation mode and burning fat becomes a last priority.

2. Switch to Stevia

"While artificial sweeteners have zero calories, they can still make your body gain and hold on to fat," Lowe says. Research shows the fake stuff can increase carb cravings, stimulate appetite, and increase fat storage, so ween yourself off. 

3. Focus on healthy fats

It may sound counterintuitive, but you need to eat fat to lose fat. "Eating a diet rich in avocados, nuts, seeds, olive/coconut oil, and fatty fish is shown to decrease abdominal fat," Lowe explains.

4. Go organic

Don’t roll your eyes. The extra buck at the grocery store goes a long way in providing you with better health benefits. Research has found organic meat and milk have about 50 percent more omega-3 fatty acid. “Eat grass-fed beef and whole organic cage-free eggs,” Lowe recommends. “Both of these foods contain conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), which has been shown to promote abdominal fat loss.”

5. Add some spice 

“Using fresh or dried turmeric or ginger helps the body fight inflammation, which is a direct trigger for holding on to unwanted back and belly fat,” Lowe says.  

6. Hit the (water) bottle

Drinking plenty of water is critical for losing your love handles. When your body is dehydrated, it’ll do everything in its power to hold on to water and trick your brain into thinking it's hungry rather than thirsty, she says. Shoot to drink a gallon every day.

7. Time your meals strategically

“Focus on eating complex carbohydrates pre- and-post workout, when your body will utilize them for energy rather than storing them as fat,” Lowe suggests. If you can, keep your meals small and consistent throughout the day (say, every 3 hours for a total of 5-6 meals a day) to ward off hunger. “When you’re ravenous, it’s a lot easier to reach for a sugary, unhealthy snack.” 

8. Cut the alcohol

“Sometimes cutting alcohol alone will make a drastic difference in your love handles,” Lowe says. If you think about it, a beer or a glass of wine has over 100 calories. If you have a glass of either to unwind after work, or go pretty hard on the weekends, you’re tacking on a lot of unnecessary calories. Always be cognizant of liquid calories. 

9. Keep caffeine to a minimum

One to two cups of coffee is fine, but an entire pot is not! Neither are all the added sweeteners and milks. Try to drink coffee black; or, flavor with a bit of agave or infuse coffee beans with vanilla. You can also mix it up by having 2-3 cups of green tea, unsweetened and preferably caffeine-free.

10. Nix protein bars

“Most are so high in sugar they should be considered candy,” Lowe says. If you’re deadset on eating them, for convenience sake, opt for bars with just a few grams of sugar and ingredients who can pronounce. Or, make your own protein balls, bites, and bars. 

11. Get in greens

Make sure every meal you eat has a vegetable in it. Seriously. Sneak spinach in your morning omelet. Keep pre-cut veggie sticks in your fridge at work. Do everything you can to get more in your diet since very few Americans get the recommended amount each day.

12. Limit dairy

“Instead of putting sugar and cream in your coffee, use agave and almond milk,” Lowe says. Likewise, use olive oil or coconut oil instead of butter; and if you must have cheese, stick with hard cheeses versus soft.

[RELATED2]

The best foods for losing love handles

Protein sources: chicken, eggs, lean, ground turkey, all-natural chicken sausage, shrimp, tilapia, salmon, tuna, lean cuts of steak, whey protein powder, tofu, hemp protein, pea protein. Recommendation: Eat at every meal

(Complex) Carb sources: sweet potato, brown rice, quinoa, whole-grain pasta, wild rice, oats, Ezekiel bread. Recommendation: 3-4 servings a day

(Healthy) Fat sources: avocado, almonds, cashews, pecans, coconut oil, olives, nut butters, hummus. Recommendation: 2 servings a day

Vegetable sources: Feel free to eat whatever veggies you like! But some of the best for weight loss are kale, spinach, watercress, chard, and beet greens. Recommendation: Eat at every meal

(Low-sugar) Fruit sources: Avocado, tomatoes, eggplant, raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries, and watermelon.  Recommendation: 2 servings of fresh fruit a day. One serving of fruit is one piece of fruit, or 1/2 cup of berries or sliced fruit. Stay away from dried fruits because of their high sugar content.

Be mindful of portion size: Lowe says proteins should be the size of your fist. Complex carbs should be about the size of your palm. Healthy fats should be about 2 tablespoons per serving (the size of a golf ball). Veggies should be two handfuls.

[RELATED3]

The perfect meal plan for weight loss

Meal 1: 1/2 cup oats cooked with water and cinnamon; 1 whole egg + 3 egg whites scrambled with spinach, peppers, onions, and coconut oil; one cup coffee with almond milk. Meal 2: Kale, black cherry, whey protein, and almond milk smoothie; one cup green tea. Meal 3: Spinach salad with tomatoes, peppers, avocado, oil and vinegar, and chicken breast; 1/2 sweet potato; one cup green tea. Meal 4: Apple and whey protein shake (post-workout, usually). Meal 5: Salmon with lemon and garlic asparagus; large dark, leafy green salad with oil and vinegar; one cup green tea. Meal 6: Scrambled egg whites (only if you're hungry before bed).

Part II: Lifestyle

1. Snooze the night away

Sleep is extremely important for losing body fat—especially your love handles, Lowe says. When you're sleep deprived, your hormones get out of whack, which can impede weight loss. Your metabolism slows to conserve energy; your appetite is higher (due to elevated levels of cortisol) because you're lacking energy; and your body craves foods higher in carbs and fat because they help produce serotonin, which calm you from this stressed state. Aim for 7-8 hours per night.

2. Make recovery a priority

"The biggest mistake people make when trying to lose their love handles is dieting too hard and over-exercising," Lowe says. "In some cases this actually leads to your body holding on to that fat since you're constantly stimulating the stress hormone cortisol." Change your mindset to train like an athlete: Zero in on your goals and performance to help create a better focus. 

3. Get your metabolism started

When you wake up in the morning, before you have anyting to eat, drink 16oz of water with the juice of 1/2 fresh lemon. This will help kickstart your digestive system, Lowe says.

[RELATED4]

Part III: Training

"When it comes to incorporating certain exercises into your training, countless crunches and side bends won't do the trick," Lowe says. Spot training—the idea that you can eliminate fat in a particular part of your body—is a nice idea, but it just doesn't work. "A combination of HIIT cardio, total-body strength training, and the occasional long, slow, distance session will burn the fat off the stubborn areas, like your back," Lowe adds. 

1. To build lean muscle

"Doing compound lifts—like squats, deadlifts, hang cleans, and thrusters—will help build lean muscle mass, which will stimulate your metabolism to burn fat at rest," Lowe says. To create a strong core and simultaneously strengthen your entire body, perform exercises like a weighted plank and barbell front squats.

2. To burn calories

HIIT cardio workouts create an after-burn effect, which drives up your heart rate and metabolism. You can increase calorie burn for 24-48 hours after your session. Incorporating HIIT-style training, like sprints on a track or a bike, will help rid your body of excess fat fast.

3. To burn fat with long, slow cardio

Sometimes your body needs to be shocked. If you're a gym rat, switching up your cardio one or two times a week and incorporating a 45-minute (or more) cardio session can do the trick, Lowe says. "This form of cardiovascular training taps into fat stores during the actual session for energy," she explains.  

The training plan

Day 1: Total-body strength training

Day 2: HIIT cardio

Day 3: Total-body strength training

Day 4: Long, steady-state distance cardio

Day 5: Total-body strength training

Day 6: HIIT cardio

Day 7: Rest

[RELATED5]

Weight loss

Article source here:Men’s Fitness

How to get rid of love handles

The term "love handles" is a bit of a misnomer. In fact, when it comes to the sections of fat on the sides and front of your belly, there's no love lost. Love handles are zones of "stubborn fat," the first place guys gain it and the last it disappears. And sometimes, even though you've logged hours on the elliptical and the abs station, it can feel damn near impossible to get those little pockets of flab off your body.

But while shifting your lifestyle and altering your fitness regimen are essential for overhauling your physique, nothing is more vital to eliminating fat on your back and sides than nutrition.

"The most important part of losing any fat on your body, especially from your back and belly, is incorporating whole foods—nothing processed, packaged, or chemically altered—as your primary source of nutrition," says Liz Lowe, C.S.C.S., head program designer at Scorch Fitness, a high-intensity interval training gym in Sarasota, Florida. "By focusing on fruits, vegetables, grass-fed meats and eggs, healthy fats and anti-inflammatory roots and herbs, you can create a nutrition plan that will shed your stubborn love handles."

Here, we've listed Lowe's top nutrition, health, and lifestyle guidelines to start shedding fat. There's no get-ripped quick gimmick—just tried-and-true rules that will help you stay fit for life.

[RELATED1]

Part I: Nutrition

1. Don't cut carbs (especially pre- and post-workout)

Healthy complex carbs, such as sweet potatoes, black rice, and oats, keep your metabolism stimulated and give your body long-lasting energy, Lowe says. When your body feels deprived of this energy, it goes into starvation mode and burning fat becomes a last priority.

2. Switch to Stevia

"While artificial sweeteners have zero calories, they can still make your body gain and hold on to fat," Lowe says. Research shows the fake stuff can increase carb cravings, stimulate appetite, and increase fat storage, so ween yourself off. 

3. Focus on healthy fats

It may sound counterintuitive, but you need to eat fat to lose fat. "Eating a diet rich in avocados, nuts, seeds, olive/coconut oil, and fatty fish is shown to decrease abdominal fat," Lowe explains.

4. Go organic

Don’t roll your eyes. The extra buck at the grocery store goes a long way in providing you with better health benefits. Research has found organic meat and milk have about 50 percent more omega-3 fatty acid. “Eat grass-fed beef and whole organic cage-free eggs,” Lowe recommends. “Both of these foods contain conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), which has been shown to promote abdominal fat loss.”

5. Add some spice 

“Using fresh or dried turmeric or ginger helps the body fight inflammation, which is a direct trigger for holding on to unwanted back and belly fat,” Lowe says.  

6. Hit the (water) bottle

Drinking plenty of water is critical for losing your love handles. When your body is dehydrated, it’ll do everything in its power to hold on to water and trick your brain into thinking it's hungry rather than thirsty, she says. Shoot to drink a gallon every day.

7. Time your meals strategically

“Focus on eating complex carbohydrates pre- and-post workout, when your body will utilize them for energy rather than storing them as fat,” Lowe suggests. If you can, keep your meals small and consistent throughout the day (say, every 3 hours for a total of 5-6 meals a day) to ward off hunger. “When you’re ravenous, it’s a lot easier to reach for a sugary, unhealthy snack.” 

8. Cut the alcohol

“Sometimes cutting alcohol alone will make a drastic difference in your love handles,” Lowe says. If you think about it, a beer or a glass of wine has over 100 calories. If you have a glass of either to unwind after work, or go pretty hard on the weekends, you’re tacking on a lot of unnecessary calories. Always be cognizant of liquid calories. 

9. Keep caffeine to a minimum

One to two cups of coffee is fine, but an entire pot is not! Neither are all the added sweeteners and milks. Try to drink coffee black; or, flavor with a bit of agave or infuse coffee beans with vanilla. You can also mix it up by having 2-3 cups of green tea, unsweetened and preferably caffeine-free.

10. Nix protein bars

“Most are so high in sugar they should be considered candy,” Lowe says. If you’re deadset on eating them, for convenience sake, opt for bars with just a few grams of sugar and ingredients who can pronounce. Or, make your own protein balls, bites, and bars. 

11. Get in greens

Make sure every meal you eat has a vegetable in it. Seriously. Sneak spinach in your morning omelet. Keep pre-cut veggie sticks in your fridge at work. Do everything you can to get more in your diet since very few Americans get the recommended amount each day.

12. Limit dairy

“Instead of putting sugar and cream in your coffee, use agave and almond milk,” Lowe says. Likewise, use olive oil or coconut oil instead of butter; and if you must have cheese, stick with hard cheeses versus soft.

[RELATED2]

The best foods for losing love handles

Protein sources: chicken, eggs, lean, ground turkey, all-natural chicken sausage, shrimp, tilapia, salmon, tuna, lean cuts of steak, whey protein powder, tofu, hemp protein, pea protein. Recommendation: Eat at every meal

(Complex) Carb sources: sweet potato, brown rice, quinoa, whole-grain pasta, wild rice, oats, Ezekiel bread. Recommendation: 3-4 servings a day

(Healthy) Fat sources: avocado, almonds, cashews, pecans, coconut oil, olives, nut butters, hummus. Recommendation: 2 servings a day

Vegetable sources: Feel free to eat whatever veggies you like! But some of the best for weight loss are kale, spinach, watercress, chard, and beet greens. Recommendation: Eat at every meal

(Low-sugar) Fruit sources: Avocado, tomatoes, eggplant, raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries, and watermelon.  Recommendation: 2 servings of fresh fruit a day. One serving of fruit is one piece of fruit, or 1/2 cup of berries or sliced fruit. Stay away from dried fruits because of their high sugar content.

Be mindful of portion size: Lowe says proteins should be the size of your fist. Complex carbs should be about the size of your palm. Healthy fats should be about 2 tablespoons per serving (the size of a golf ball). Veggies should be two handfuls.

[RELATED3]

The perfect meal plan for weight loss

Meal 1: 1/2 cup oats cooked with water and cinnamon; 1 whole egg + 3 egg whites scrambled with spinach, peppers, onions, and coconut oil; one cup coffee with almond milk. Meal 2: Kale, black cherry, whey protein, and almond milk smoothie; one cup green tea. Meal 3: Spinach salad with tomatoes, peppers, avocado, oil and vinegar, and chicken breast; 1/2 sweet potato; one cup green tea. Meal 4: Apple and whey protein shake (post-workout, usually). Meal 5: Salmon with lemon and garlic asparagus; large dark, leafy green salad with oil and vinegar; one cup green tea. Meal 6: Scrambled egg whites (only if you're hungry before bed).

Part II: Lifestyle

1. Snooze the night away

Sleep is extremely important for losing body fat—especially your love handles, Lowe says. When you're sleep deprived, your hormones get out of whack, which can impede weight loss. Your metabolism slows to conserve energy; your appetite is higher (due to elevated levels of cortisol) because you're lacking energy; and your body craves foods higher in carbs and fat because they help produce serotonin, which calm you from this stressed state. Aim for 7-8 hours per night.

2. Make recovery a priority

"The biggest mistake people make when trying to lose their love handles is dieting too hard and over-exercising," Lowe says. "In some cases this actually leads to your body holding on to that fat since you're constantly stimulating the stress hormone cortisol." Change your mindset to train like an athlete: Zero in on your goals and performance to help create a better focus. 

3. Get your metabolism started

When you wake up in the morning, before you have anyting to eat, drink 16oz of water with the juice of 1/2 fresh lemon. This will help kickstart your digestive system, Lowe says.

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Part III: Training

"When it comes to incorporating certain exercises into your training, countless crunches and side bends won't do the trick," Lowe says. Spot training—the idea that you can eliminate fat in a particular part of your body—is a nice idea, but it just doesn't work. "A combination of HIIT cardio, total-body strength training, and the occasional long, slow, distance session will burn the fat off the stubborn areas, like your back," Lowe adds. 

1. To build lean muscle

"Doing compound lifts—like squats, deadlifts, hang cleans, and thrusters—will help build lean muscle mass, which will stimulate your metabolism to burn fat at rest," Lowe says. To create a strong core and simultaneously strengthen your entire body, perform exercises like a weighted plank and barbell front squats.

2. To burn calories

HIIT cardio workouts create an after-burn effect, which drives up your heart rate and metabolism. You can increase calorie burn for 24-48 hours after your session. Incorporating HIIT-style training, like sprints on a track or a bike, will help rid your body of excess fat fast.

3. To burn fat with long, slow cardio

Sometimes your body needs to be shocked. If you're a gym rat, switching up your cardio one or two times a week and incorporating a 45-minute (or more) cardio session can do the trick, Lowe says. "This form of cardiovascular training taps into fat stores during the actual session for energy," she explains.  

The training plan

Day 1: Total-body strength training

Day 2: HIIT cardio

Day 3: Total-body strength training

Day 4: Long, steady-state distance cardio

Day 5: Total-body strength training

Day 6: HIIT cardio

Day 7: Rest

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Weight loss

from Men's Fitness https://www.mensfitness.com/weight-loss/burn-fat-fast/how-get-rid-love-handles