#(I wanted something happier but the ones I wanted never downloaded :( and the one I wanted for tomorrow doesn't even exist...
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can i just word vomit for a min...
there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.
but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.
on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!
frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞
to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.
but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌
(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)
#to be 100% clear this is not a goodbye - i'm literally halfway done with the next story post#just sort of an update on the state of my brain#👍🏻#btw...... sorry to Watcher fans lmaoo you guys really got the short end of the parasocial relationship stick..... </3#that's not relevant to anything i've said here i've just spent way too much time thinking about how youtube has changed in the past 20 year#because i'm a loser that got really into youtube when i was 11 and never looked back#and then the watcher thing happened. and i was like ohhh if dan and phil did that to me i would have to die about it.
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If things were better, I could be all "Happy Pride!" here, but Pride Month is tough this year. I'm not happy. I'm sad, scared, and angry. Right-wing American politicians are doing everything they can to endanger trans people. The main focus of their attacks is trans kids. There are all kinds of lies being spread about what it means for children to be transgender and what gender affirming care for them looks like. Like all children, trans kids are figuring themselves out. Supportive, compassionate parents understand this and let them dress how they want. That's what's at the heart of my first Pride Month post this year.
Today's download lets ALL children wear ALL EAxis children's clothes. I did this to go along with all of my child CC being CU from now on. (Well, from a month or two ago on.) I have more to say about real life trans kids, so please read on after the download.
It's very simple. All EAxis kids clothes are now unisex. Many of them should have been from the start. What's masculine about a dark red Western shirt? And why can't a boy wear pink if he likes it? All kids should be allowed to express themselves how they like.
There's no swatch here, so have some Body Shop previews:
There are similar mods out there, but mine doesn't require any special installation (just put it in Downloads) and there's an All-In-One option if you have UC or all EP's and SP's. I got so much help from @goingsimcrazy and @potentialfate-sims while I was working on this. Thanks again, both of you!!
Note: DO NOT USE THIS IF YOU USE DEFAULT REPLACEMENTS THAT CHANGE THE MESH. It works fine with replacements that only change the texture.
'Nother note: Several EP's don't add any children's clothes, so there isn't a package for those EP's in the pick-n-choose version. Nothing's missing except for the xmas elf costumes, because...I hate them. Sorry. They're mostly unisex already, I think. I have hiders for them in my game.
Download:
UC/All-In-One: SFS or MediaFire
Pick & Choose: SFS or MediaFire
So back to my rant about trans kids...
Anti-trans propaganda will try to tell you that evil queers are out to convert your kids. That's a lie. We don't want to make cis kids trans. We want trans kids to live to be trans adults. You can't make a cis kid trans any more than you can make a trans kid cis. Kids are who they are. I was once a femmy little boy in an AFAB body, roughhousing in a princess dress and happier playing with boys than girls most of the time. My parents, and everyone else, saw it and called me a tomboy...despite the princess dress. I'm very lucky to have had parents who let me express myself and didn't care if I ran around in the woods, as long as I took my tights off first. Trying to suppress or change kids just makes them miserable, and sometimes miserable kids die. It breaks my heart that there are parents who would rather have a dead child than a trans child.
If I could get one message to everyone this month, and have it sink in, it would be that NO ONE is doing gender confirming surgery on children. (Unless they're intersex and get mutilated without consent, in the name of conformity.) Even teens, who may be on puberty blockers or other hormones, don't have access to gender affirming surgeries. In America, it takes years and lots of money to have these surgeries. It's not something that's done lightly or on a whim.
That's an aspect of anti-trans rhetoric that bugs me deeply, "What if it's just a phase?" It almost never is. Gender affirming surgeries have some of the highest patient satisfaction ratings of any surgery. Higher than hip replacement and many other completely accepted surgeries.
Surgery is, again, beside the point when we're talking about trans kids. Say a nine year old realizes they're trans. All that changes is their clothes and hairstyle, and maybe their name. As they get a little older, they might be put on puberty blockers. Puberty blockers were developed for cisgender children who start puberty too soon. All these medications do is delay it. Once they're stopped, puberty starts back up. If the child changes their mind, it's as simple as not taking the blockers anymore.
A related truth is that trans people aren't the only ones who get gender affirming care. A cis woman who gets breast implants and a cis man taking testosterone for "low T" are both receiving gender affirming care. They don't face the stigma or roadblocks that a trans woman getting breast implants or a trans man taking testosterone face. I don't hear about American politicians trying to outlaw Viagra or Brazilian butt lifts or any of the other things cis people are allowed to do to feel "more like a woman" or "more like a man". Why should it be different for trans people?
I'll try not to go off on a tangent about how transitioning while young leads to "passing" (looking cisgender) more easily, but it does. And that can mean safety and acceptance. Passing shouldn't matter, but it often does. Forcing a young person, especially a trans girl, to go through puberty twice is cruel and potentially dangerous.
Going back to my personal experience for a moment, the idea of female puberty and "becoming a woman" horrified me as a kid. If I'd been offered the option of puberty blockers, I'd probably have taken them. I started developing breasts when I was nine and was forced to wear bras when I was ten. My adolescent and teen years were pretty horrible overall, and gender issues were part of that. I had the "not like the other girls" feeling, but knew by then that I wasn't 100% boy either. Maybe that would have been different if I hadn't gone through puberty with estrogen. I think sometimes about the man I might have been if I was younger and grew up in a world with more trans awareness. I had no idea about genders beyond the binary back then, but I recognized that there was something boy-ish about me. My friends, family, and other people saw it too. I was who I was, who I am. I'm so very lucky that my parents didn't try to force me to be girlier. Those years were hard enough.
Childhood is hard, and repressive, oppressive adults make it so much harder. I hope all the trans kids out there either have support at home or find it where they can. I wish we lived in a world where we could all just accept each other and live our lives. I want everyone to be safe and feel loved.
I could go on and on about various trans issues, but I think I've made my points about trans kids. Respect and protect them. They're valid and they deserve to grow up to be who they know they are.
[I have zero tolerance for transphobia. I will block and report anyone who replies to this with anything anti-trans.]
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“It’s pretty much common knowledge that the fastest team in Gunma isn’t the damn RedSuns. It’s the Myogi NightKids.” - Takeshi Nakazato
New artist, please be gentle!
IM SO HAPPY I CAN FINALLY CONTRIBUTE ART TO THE INITIAL D FANDOM.
I’m still in shock that I was able to draw this. I never thought I’d see the day where I’m uploading artwork onto Tumblr. Hell, when I bought my iPad in November and downloaded procreate, I never thought I’d make something upload worthy. I was really struggling and thought to myself “Well…I’m not going to be an artist, but at least I have an iPad now”. But I’ve been practicing and I’m so glad that I kept up with it. And I’m even happier that my first piece I’m sharing is Takeshi because he’s the reason I wanted to get into drawing!
I’m so glad I finished this just in time for Valentine’s Day. I wanted to do something special for him. There’s so many reasons why I love his character and grown so attached to him, but I think one of the biggest reasons is that he’s the definition of don’t give up, keep trying. I just find him so endearing. Initial D and specifically Takeshi have made such a positive impact on my life/mental health. I swear he’s my muse…I haven’t been this creative in forever. I want to make a plushie and a cross stitch pattern of him in the future too haha.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! ❤️
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c r * c k f i c
Wild (tries) to get Snapchat
Context: projecting my teenage life on wild because I feel old and I miss the days where there was still a “1” in front of my age
Also the first like 5 paragraphs are crappy cuz I wrote them at 4:00am so if there is a lot of grammar errors that’s why
…
Alright, he’ll admit, the slate was cool and new when he first got it, but now the six runes were getting old. Wild couldn’t even access some of them anymore. That is what sparked his idea for something new. With the help of Purah, she managed to create an… Application Store.
That’s what lead him here, it was nighttime, and everyone was asleep (courtesy of him generously taking watch.) if Wild was being honest, he’s not a big fan of the night. There is nothing to do except watch and sleep. But this time, he had the slate, and the new application store which would make things a whole lot more fun.
A few minutes of scrolling later, and he laid eyes on his new discovery. Snapchat you could take pictures, and not just boring vanilla ones, but special ones that could enhance the color and what not! Not only that, but you could chat with your friends on there. I wonder if Sidon is on Snapchat, Wild smiled to himself as he clicked the “install” button.
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ERROR: Request parent/guardian approval before purchasing
Wild scowled. He should have known Time would most definitely run through with Purah before making changes to his slate (Judging by his reaction to Stasis.). Still, not cool Time. The champion gazed over to the sleeping man he never gets sleep anyway, he doesn’t need it now.
…
“Time?”
A very loud whisper alerted the old man awake.
“Pssssst Time?”
“What do you want? I was sleeping.”
“What’s your password?”
Time rubbed his eyes, judging by the looks of it, it was still the dead of night. He sighed and sat up, “What do you mean, password?” Wild urged the slate into his face why do they make these screens so bright he’s killing his eyes. “Oh, this.” Time paused, “No.”
Wild glared, “What do you mean, no?” I’m not leaving this conversation empty handed, “You didn’t even see it!”
“One, I did see it.” Time sighed, “And two, there is no way I am letting you talk to strangers when you can’t even differentiate a Yiga and a Hylian without using bananas.” Time slowly sank back down into the sheets, indicating the conversation was over.
“Pleaseeeeeeeee Time!” Wild pulled his shirt, dragging the tired man back up, “I need it! All my friends have it!”
“I’m pretty sure deer don’t have electronics Wild.”
“Rude.”
…
The next morning, when Sky offered to go get firewood, Wild immediately tagged along.
“So Sky, I was thinking of making your favorite pumpkin soup for lunch.” Wild hummed as he watched the chosen hero’s eyes perk up. “And I’ll even take your watch tonight so you can sleep!”
Sky immediately looked 10 times happier then when they first walked,
“That’s amazing! Is there anything I can do to repay you?”
“Well… do you know Time’s password?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think he would want me to share it with you.” Sky sighed, and rephrased the sentence, “I mean that by the whole reason he has it is so you don’t go around downloading every application you see.”
…
“Hey Wars, I need to download an application to get a battle log, could you tell me Time’s password to help me get in?”
“Can’t you just ask the old man?”
“COME ON.”
…
“So Four, I promise I won’t break any weapons if you tell me Time’s password.”
“Wild we both know the only way you can’t break a weapon is if you are not in a ten mile radius of it.”
…
“Legend-“
“No.”
…
“Please Twi?”
“Time told me specifically to not tell you, and ain’t no way I’m getting the look of disappointment.”
…
“Hey Wind do you want to go on a stealth mission with me?”
“Captain told me not to talk to you until you get the world ‘password’ out of your head.”
…
“Rulie you got to help me!!”
“Time didn’t tell me because he knew I’d tell you. Sorry champ.”
…
Let’s just say Wild never got Snapchat.
HA
Everyone knows Times password except Wild, that's beautiful😂😂😂
And legend absolutely cutting him off hahaha
Gosh Wild would absolutely find a way to befriend the Yiga and somehow be friends with Kohga lol. And Kohga would never know it's Link cus Wild is always putting filters on his photos haha
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I just found out that some fanfic authors are taking down their fics because BookTok found them and they were selling physical copies of them on the internet🤦🏻♀️
Like, first of all, how stupid do you have to be to sell something that's CLEARLY trademark content from big companies that can sue you? skjdnfks
And worst of all, the suing would reach the fanfic's author, who literally did nothing wrong and shouldn't have to pay consequences because other random people from tiktok wanted to gain money from their work!!
And think of the poor fans of that ship that one day to the next had to say goodbye to stories that they loved!! (Unless they had them downloaded or something)
Anyway, never have I been happier of writing for such a small fandom and ship 😂😂 BookTok will never find me
#we're all safe here guys- thank god we're obsessed with some Disney latam ships 😂#c speaks#but seriously poor authors and poor fans- I'm just so sad for everyone involved#everyone say Yayy to being irrelevant 😂 it protects me from this shit
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status: part 1 of 3
[a video seems to be posted. care to click?]
[the video starts a bit unintentionally; one can hear somebody fumbling around what appears to be a backpack before there's a sudden, bright light of the backpack being opened, before the rotomphone is unceremoniously dumped out with what appears to be quite a few things. some pencils, notebooks, pokemon treats, and lots of other stuff; it all gets cleared as ren seems to be setting up their room in the blueberry academy. they're full of giggles and bright laughter, and one can see madison (out of nurse uniform for once) in the background as they both help get the room set up]
🔆: Hey, Mads! Should I start puttin' these books up on this shelf we got here, or do you think they'd be better off in the bookshelf?
[madison looks over for a moment, contemplating before pointing to something off in the background]
👩⚕️: I'd probably say the bookshelf. Unless you think there's going to be a lot of books you'll need?
🔆: Well, ya never know. I've been gettin' by at Uva through Completely Legal Downloads [ren airquotes this, to the amusement of themself and madison, who chuckles] of the books I need. But I like this place so far! If they ain't super expensive I'll probs buy 'em to support the place, y'know?
👩⚕️: Sounds like someone's developing a bias.
[that gets ren to laugh a bit as they start putting some of their notebooks on the bookshelf]
🔆: Can ya blame me? I mean, I like Uva as it is now--Mr. Clavell definitely hasn't been lyin' when he said he's trying to improve the school. But...there's somethin' about an experience that doesn't have any shitty memories attached that's appealin', you know?
[madison seems to pause at that, as she gets to work on organizing some of the other stuff ren brought with them--clothes new and old, for starters.]
👩⚕️: I guess I can't. Not entirely, at least. You do seem infinitely happier than I've seen you in a bit, though.
🔆: Eh, ya think so?
👩⚕️: ...Maybe not as much as when you got to go and see your friends in Unova, but it's still pretty noticeable. [madison laughs a bit, getting all of ren's clothes on hangers] I'm glad that hasn't been taken from you. I was worried after...you know...
[madison gestures at the air a bit, and ren doesn't respond for a bit. their face goes...notably more blank, than anything, and they just keep putting notebooks away for a bit until they're done; madison's done hanging their clothes by the time they are.]
🔆: I'm not gonna let her take anymore happiness from me. [ren's tone is surprisingly determined] I've...I've worked so damn hard to find an arcdamned bright side in life, and my own happiness. Somethin' I can be proud of, and share with everyone I know. And fuck, I actually wanna get to know people! I wanna learn all about this school, and more about battle that I'd have never gotten the chance to. Me an' Lulu especially love it, and Bouton and Soba have been showin' a lotta promise too. I just don't want it all to be for nothin', y'know? And that's why I ain't gonna let her take it. I'm--
[there's a pause, and eagle eyed watchers might have noticed madison moving in the background beforehand--what stops ren's words is a soft hug from madison. one she has to lean down for, admittedly, because she does have a foot or so on ren's tiny ass, but it causes them to start for a moment.
it isn't long before they lean in and wrap their arms around madison in kind; mads' hand goes up to run through their hair]
👩⚕️: ...Good. I was hoping you'd say that, kid. [madison sounds genuinely proud of them, and though it's barely able to be seen, her expression is warm] You deserve all of the good things in life. And I want you to be able to experience them, too. Without worrying about the future, or what's to come, or anything like that. You go out there and enjoy every bit of what the Academy has to offer, alright?
[madison lets go of ren--or at least tries to. they cling tighter for a moment, startling madison before bringing themself up and wiping their eyes.
they were clearly crying, but the smile on their face is extremely bright]
🔆: I'm...I'm gonna, Mads! You better watch--by the time I'm done learnin' all I can here, Paldea's gonna have to crown a new Champion! Maybe even a new Top Champion, heehee!
[that gets madison to laugh]
👩⚕️: Well, look at you starting to dream big! You're gonna have a lot of responsibilities if you take the Top Champion position, though. Are you really prepared for that?
🔆: Nope! Not yet at least! But I'm gonna learn, and I'm gonna become the best damned trainer! Just watch me, Mads!
[madison laughs again, ruffling ren's hair a bit before separating; this time, ren obliges]
👩⚕️: Alright, kid! You get out there and enjoy all this Academy has to offer! But you better promise to keep us all updated, you hear me?
🔆: Heehee, crystal, Mads! Ahh, I should probs get going--there's probs some kinda orientation, right? But I still have...
[madison starts to gently shoo ren out the door, smiling a bit]
👩⚕️: Don't you worry about unpacking everything else; you leave that to me, kiddo. You get out there and start your school life!
🔆: Heehee, I will! Thank you bunches, Mads, I'll pay you back for the help!
[ren darts off after a wave goodbye, prompting a bit of laughing from madison]
👩⚕️: You try, and I'll repay it tenfold, kid. Focus on class!
[it goes quiet for a bit as madison seems to go back to getting everything organized for them. it last for a few minutes, and the recording almost shuts itself down, but...
madison's phone rings, and she picks it up without missing a beat.]
👩⚕️: Hello? ...I'm not sure if you have--oh! Oh. Hello, Detective. Yes, you've reached the right number, this is my burner phone. --Yes, this is Madison. Can I help you with something...?
[...]
👩⚕️: Discussing the case and gathering information, huh...well, I'm at about the safest place both of us can be, so sure. I'll bite. What do you want to know?
[to be continued]
#ren talks#madison talks#long post#pokeblogging#rotomblr#pokemon irl#pkmn irl#((ooc: claps hands. WHO WANTS SOME FUCKIN' P L O T))#calm before the storm: the blueberry academy arc#calm before the storm
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Next Fic Released POLL !!!!
———
Hihi everyone !! Just wanted to gage opinions as to which one shot draft should be put out first. I’m working on each one (at a snails pace though LOL) so they’ll all be put out eventually so no stress!!
I’ll give you all the title, summary, and whatever the first paragraph or so I have done :3 Some are worked on more than others but all my one shots are in this limbo like state where I keep making excuses not to finish them ehehe
Mostly hypmic but one p5 for my AkiRen and Akechi fans out there
Vote once you read them all please !!
LOL (lots of love) <3
Option 1: What you leave behind (MCD->DD!Ichiro x Reader)
Angst no comfort, unrequited feelings, abandonment
In where Ichiro gets so caught up in what comes next for him that he doesn't realize what comes next for you. Which is nothing.
Sometimes he wonders where you ended up. He wonders if you're happier than when he last saw you. He wonder's what you do now. He wonders if you ever think of him too.
He was stupid then. He thought that since his life was perfect, everyone else's must be too……
Option 2: I wanna get to the next tier! (Jiro x Fast Food employee!Fem!Reader)
Silliness, classmates to lovers, Jiro can’t talk to girls
Jiro with a crush who works at their local chain bakery. He goes there too often than he would like to admit, just so he could see them. His excuse? He’s just trying to earn points on his app!
Jiro downloaded the Wacdonald’s app for two reasons. (1) The amount of money he would be saving everytime he went. (2) You.
It’d be a win-win every time he went, he thought. He’d get a few points towards a free cheeseburger or something, and he’d get to make conversation with you on the regular.
If only his brothers would stop asking why he insisted on getting fast food everyday…….
Option 3: High and mighty (Jakurai x Temporary Roommate!Reader)
Angst to comfort, friends to lovers, self doubt, sudden kisses
The only thing getting in the way of confessing his own feelings is himself.
"What about being human gives you the right to be all high and mighty?!"
A long time in the past, Ramuda had said that to him. He was a different person then, they both were.
So why was that question the only thing ringing in his mind right now?
You were cooking him breakfast, insisting that it was the least you could do to help him out after he let you stay with him……
Option 4: Lost you once (Ren Amamiya x Reader, Goro Akechi x Reader)(separate)
Angst, being aware of your own death, 3rd semester spoilers
In where Ren and Akechi struggle to make the right choice.
This is cruel. This is so fucking cruel. Both to you and to him.
He can't just accept this. And you can't just walk into Le Blanc like nothing happened.
Like you never died in his arms…….
Thank you for participating 😛💕
#iotext#persona 5 x reader#hypmic x reader#hypnosis mic x reader#hypnosis microphone x reader#hypmic#hypnosis mic#hypnosis microphone#persona 5
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Why Screen Time Hurts Parents More Than Kids
I’m in the car on my way to a poetry gig with my friend Martin. He’s driving and I’m regretting agreeing to buy my son dinner from Nando’s and having to place the order online using my phone.
Switching back and forth between his texts and the Deliveroo app I screenshot the completed order having just received a photo from my son with the menu item I was missing circled in blue.
“How do you even add blue circles to photos?”
I wait for a message from him that I’ve got it right and maybe a “thank you”.
The message doesn’t come as quickly as I’d like.
While I’m beginning to feel disgruntled, I get a cheery “Perfect. Thank You! xx” smiley emoji.
Tech has created an invisible wall between me and my children. One that I don’t suppose they notice. I feel jealous of their screens because they spend more time with my kids than I do.
Among all the warnings of the dangers of too much adolescent screen time, there don’t seem to be any about how it has a negative impact on the wellbeing of parents.
Once, during a conversation with my daughter about the impact of too much screen time she said “Blaming everything on phones is just lazy parenting.”
As if being a parent isn’t hard enough the stakes are apparently high when it comes to knowing the difference between parenting properly and abdicating responsibility. I don’t want to be a lazy parent so now I never blame phones, even when phones are at fault.
I don’t want to be critical of something which makes my children happier than I can but it’s hard not to feel inadequate.
When my children used to play Minecraft together I encouraged the teamwork, the gentle and cohesive hum of their relationship. I told myself it was just Lego for the modern age and that felt justifiable. Even when we couldn’t prise them away for their tea it didn’t seem so bad. Then my son got into GTA and instead of mining for natural resources with his little sister, he was popping prostitutes on street corners and dragging respectable-looking women from their cars by their hair.
I tried to ignore it.
Worse still was that for a while I began to feel left out so I downloaded and installed Minecraft on my own laptop and would sit playing it instead of joining a teleconference on marketing budgets for the fourth quarter. I was worse than what I feared for my kids, isolating myself and not doing the work I was supposed to be doing. I imagined my boss firing me and, while ushering me off the premises, telling me “You’re always on that bloody phone”.
In the kitchen, I am making cookies. A place my children always helped me when they were younger. I have a photo of the two of them covered in flour one time before technology got a hold.
In another, taken one rainy afternoon, we’d made fresh pasta and meatballs. They look happy. They still do.
I call to my daughter, “Do you want to help me cut the cookies?”
“Nah”.
Putting my head around the door she has the TV on, is listening to music through her headphones and is glued to her phone chatting with friends.
I dig out the photo of the flour children and stare at it longingly.
Last week I was relegated to disciplining my daughter by phone. She wasn’t home when she’d said she would be. She read my messages but didn’t answer. I felt impotent.
Complaining to my wife I said, “She’s 18 next month so I don’t suppose there is much we can do”.
“Well she still lives under our roof”.
I’ve lost confidence in using 1970s discipline on children of the future.
Then there's the ignominy of having to go to them for help when something isn’t working.
Last week my wife was experiencing some trouble with the email on her phone.
Me: “I could try deleting it and reinstalling it?”
Her: “Whatever, but if I can’t find a way to sort it out this phone is going through the fucking window”
My son fixed it in an instant and harmony was restored while I ached for the days when he needed a puncture fixed on his bike.
Back at the car park after the gig, there is a massive line waiting to pay while people find they don't have the right app.
“Why isn’t there some faster way of doing this?” I say to Martin looking at my phone with disdain.
"You mean, like cash?"
When we are eventually back on the road I get a message from my daughter. It’s a picture of her snuggled up with the dogs and a message.
“Hope you had a lovely evening. I’m off to bed. See you tomorrow xx”
#screen#parenting#anxiety#self-help#self improvement#wellbeing#happiness#psychology#Positive Psychology#mental health
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Whenever I find a good Kdrama or Korean song, I’d take a screenshot or copy a link and start typing a message to you. I’d get excited wanting to share something with you, but then I’d backspace. Cause I don’t want to burden you to reply me on trivial things anymore.
You were the one who listened to me fangirling repeatedly over Seventeen and Vivian Sung. The one who listened to me complain about my eczema, Australian weather and the lack of good chilli pan mee in Melbourne. The one who wore one dark blue sock and one light blue sock to match with me. The one who watched my dancing videos and told me every move I did wrong, the one I didn’t mind being called stupid by (because you’re one of the smartest people I know), the one who downloaded a bike rental app for me just cause I walked past one and casually said I missed cycling. The one who never left my side no matter how many kilometres, oceans and pandemic lockdowns stood between us.
But nowadays I find myself hesitating. You have someone more important now, someone you need to protect. I’m happy for you, really. You were my best friend that meant more to me than any of the relationships I had before and I’m sorry for not being brave enough to risk it all if things ended badly.
It’s ironic because despite how I thought I was protecting something important, the outcome was the opposite. I wonder if we will drift apart endlessly, till one day I’ll get your wedding invitation and we will greet each other with the infamous 4 words - “long time no see”.
Yet when anyone asks me who I consider as my closest friend, you are still the first image in my mind. I can’t imagine how different a person I would have been if we weren’t friends. You gave me the confidence through the key years of my life when I struggled with so much insecurity. You showed me through actions that I would never be alone. So I learnt to not fear ending relationships that caused me more grief than growth. I knew that guys like you existed, those that teach me kindly everyday how to be better.
I hope you’re doing well, I hope you’re happier now than ever, I hope we’ll catch up soon.
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Alone
I feel alone. The title is correct. I've been stuck in my head for a long time. It has been a hard couple of years. I'm currently in my third year of college and I feel like I really haven't shaken off the feeling of being alone. I've been struggling with communicating, this has been happening since the Pandemic and there are lots of people who feel the same way. I feel like I'm not at a point of my life where I want to be. Yesterday was my 21st birthday and I'm grateful that I get to see another year of my life. But, depression is such a hard thing to shake. I'm trying to find my balance and voice. I was in one of my classes today, it's one of those collaborative classes, and I realized that I need to really work on myself. I need to reach out for help. I lost so much interest in the things I love and feel like that spark of mine has been taken out. But one thing I'm going to say is, that yes it can feel like our sparks can easily be put out but it's never too late to light it up again. That's something that I need to remind myself of. I came to the realization that Instagram isn't something I need to be on right now and with that maybe also other social media websites. I took a few days off of Instagram and honestly it felt so fucking refreshing, I noticed that I was way happier and I didn't have to worry about what was going on there. The moment I downloaded my Instagram, I felt depressed and that was a moment of realizing, yes this is what I need. I need to get off the Gram and also not spend so much time on social media. I started my Instagram account in the 8th grade (back in 2015), I remember being so happy to finally have it but I didn't expect how much of a toll it would have on my mental health and the way that I view myself. I didn't know the rules of social media and I became very addicted to it. I was posting on my page, every single day and I would put too much of myself on there. I wasn't taught that it is good to not post everything. My thing was I wanted to fit in with people at school and a lot of people knew me as the "quiet kid" so it made things kind of hard for me. But I think it pushed many people away. I wish I could tell myself then that we should continue being ourselves and delete our Instagram and work on ourselves and find our voice.
In the class I took today, she made us do "photovoice" where we take pictures of things on campus that would represent us. I took those pictures above. They say that pictures do have a thousand words. those pictures represent how alone I feel. I chose to dim the lighting to show that I'm in a dark place right now and I hope to overcome that feeling.
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Let me use this space to clarify something for myself. And just to have a space to come to terms with my sexuality.
My whole life, I’ve been a child/teenager/ young adult that was always not in the “in group”. Never one of the popular kids but I also had some friends.
It started with my switch from elementary school where suddenly it was not cool for a girl to play with the boys anymore. Kindergarten and elementary school were for me the time where I mostly had boy friends and hung with them a lot. Lots of wrestling and rough housing with them in the breaks.
However once I went to middle school (5th grade and a different school) suddenly what I was doing was not welcomed anymore? My flower pants and very bubbly personality was suddenly uncool and the boys all did not want to hang with girls anymore. However the girls also did not really wanna hang with me.
I found some friends but was bullied pretty harshly from 5th-7th grade which escalated in a video being uploaded that was called “fat pig learns dancing!!!!” I never saw it but an old friend from another school in the district had. After that it was fine but I never really got the whole crush thing and just pushed all my feelings (or feelings I was supposed to have) und a friend of my brother I knew would never like me.
I went to an exchange year in a different European country (15-16y) and when I got back I downloaded my first dating app (too young), as I never had been approached by a guy in real life. I got pressured into doing thing sexually I did not want but did not have the courage to say no.
I had switched schools for the last three years and in all that time I went on a lot of first dates but nothing ever developed. My mom even told me one movie night that it was fine for me to like girls. Which, thanks mom, but I didn’t? At least I didn’t think so.
Fast forward a little. Went to college. Covid happen and my exchange semester in the USA fell through and I went to the UK instead. Before I left I actually had my first boyfriend and my first time. After I got back (and after quarantine) I saw him again and only a few days after reuniting I had a meltdown at night in the bathroom cause I did not want him to touch me anymore. Another couple of days and I break up. All fine no worries. I finish my last semester for my bachelor and move to the same European country I had my Highschool exchange in for my masters. My plan: fuck half o the city.
I arrive and just decided to give up on ever finding a boyfriend (and my dream is to have a family, so that was kinda devastier when I decided that). I go on lots of dates, have my first one night stand (it was pretty bad). I think back on my pretty short life and think: maybe I do like girls?
So I switch my tinder to also look at girls. At that point I was really not sure if I was into girls but I made that clear right from the start so everyone involved knew what they were getting into. I even got to talking with one girl pretty intensely. However, only two weeks after I arrived I had a date with a guy and the 1st date lasted 23h. One week later we were together.
I had never been happier, got a fresh new start in the country I want to spend the rest of my life in, had amazing roommates, and a boyfriend who was just there. He put me first, listened to me, did not tell me my health problems with the sun were imaginary, and he became the person who I knew I could tell everything to and he would listen. And understand but also set me straight if I was on the wrong.
Another year passes till this fall. I am in my 3rd semester of my master and had just left my physio. I was Waking to my bus station when I see a woman in front of me in the tightest leather pants I have ever seen and with the greatest ass. I was so mesmerized I walked by my bus station… I had not thought about my preferences since I got together with my bf. This was the first time I was looking at a woman my thought process was not: “Gosh that woman is hot! Look at those breasts… Of course I don’t like them on her! I want to look LIKE her. I do not LIKE her.” I just went “huh… yeah holy shit I am attracted to women…”.
That was a couple of months ago now. And I had been thinking about thinks since then. Did this change me? Did this change my relationship with the most amazing human being I have ever met? Was I only attracted to women, or would I also want to be romantically involved with them? I did what I have done a lot in the last year: I just talked to my bf. And I realized that, yes I would not be opposed to being romantically involved with a woman. But I also will not ever want to leave my bf. So does this revelation of my awakened sexuality change anything? How would I even define that?
For me personally it just changed how I look at things. Like, I don’t know if I am bi, pan or something else entirely? But does it matter to define it? I would still want to be together with my bf if he decides to not be identifying as a man (not that he plans to, but you never know). I love him, the person he is.
So this is how I found out I was queer. Does it matter? No. Do I think that I don’t really have any right to discuss queer problems? Kinda. I am a cis woman who passes as a cis woman in a relationship with a cis man. I live in a Country that is one of the highest rated countries for gender equality and acceptance of differing sexualities. But for me personally it just clicked and it made me so much happier to have figured this out. It does not change my life style, my relationship, or anything.
I won’t come out, I might just let it slip sometimes here or there, but I just wanted to rant/talk about this somewhere. And what better place than my nearly non-existent blog on tumblr.
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Terry Hall’s music is as relevant now as it has ever been, and his legacy will live on
Jamie Driscoll
I have a rare CD version of Ultra Modern Nursery Rhymes, a lesser known album by Specials frontman Terry Hall, who died yesterday. The title track seems thematically inspired by David Bowie’s Kooks. Both are about a dad advising his kids not to get stressed by the expectations society places on them. I grew up with The Specials. I vividly remember the black and white chequered cover on the audio cassette of their debut album. That was before CDs. To find Ultra Modern Nursery Rhyme, back in 1990, I had to place a special order. Now, you just download.
Their eponymous debut album shot them to fame. It’s a classic. Brimming with the energy of ska rhythm and deep bass, punctuated by brass. The originality of songs like Stupid Marriage and Too Much Too Young – lyrical cautions against teenage pregnancy. Their articulate nihilism is expressed in Man at C&A – the helplessness against world events and uncaring politicians. Women forced into sex work in Hey Little Rich Girl. The simple sadness of watching an ageing woman clinging to her youth in Pearl’s Café. The alcoholism decried in Stereotype. The Specials were not just angry, young men. And, of course, Ghost Town. If you lived through the Thatcher years, you know this song. Never has there been a more accurate musical social commentary; government leaving the youth on the shelf.
But they could have been the band of 2022. The stalking terror of knife crime articulated in Concrete Jungle; the song Too Hot; the Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum should be Liz Truss’s theme song. “Nothing’s changed! When we wrote it we had Reagan and Thatcher and we thought things couldn’t get worse. Now we’ve got Trump and May!” Terry Hall said in a 2016 interview.
Lunatics was Hall’s first post-Specials track, with the new band Fun Boy Three. He’d started writing it before splitting from The Specials with Neville Staple and guitarist Lynval Golding. The Specials only had about 18 months of fame before they split. Five top ten singles and two number ones in under two years. Hall speaks of the pressures they were under: being targeted by the far right; the National Front turning up and Sieg-Heiling at them on stage; the violence at the gigs, which led to him being arrested, charged and fined for incitement.
“Getting picked up at the airport was a drama, checking into the hotel was a drama, leaving the hotel was a drama. You couldn’t get any space, not even for an hour or two, because wherever you went there were these lads who’d travelled 9,000 miles to see you live and didn’t have anywhere to stay, so you had to put them up in your room and then you had to sit up all night with them. Talking about the f**king Specials.”
I can’t talk about the Specials without Jerry Dammers. Their artistic inspiration and lead songwriter. In fact, it’s Jerry Dammers GCOT. That’s Grand Companion of OR Tambo. Now that’s one honour I’d salute. Dammers was awarded it for his anti-apartheid work, including writing the song Free Nelson Mandela, another staple of my teenage years.
The Specials’ It Doesn’t Make it Alright is an explicitly anti-racist anthem. Their legacy lived on when in 2017, 20 year old Saffiyah Khan calmly smiled while staring down an EDL thug. The photo of her wearing a Specials T-shirt went viral.
Hall spoke about his mental health. He’d suffered horrific child sex abuse at the hands of a teacher, and sang about it in Well Fancy That. “It got to a point where I didn’t have a choice – and it’s done me so much good,” he said. “Talking about mental health problems is a conscious decision. It’s something I want to share with people.” Seeking help seemed to make a difference. He was much happier with his later musical collaborations. And life in general.
“I also bloody love being 60. I’ve wanted to be 60 since I was in my 20s. I’ve always thought I’d make my best music in the years between 60 and 70.” Sadly, he died aged 63. As Terry Hall himself sang: “Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.”
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Aveke by Tijan is now live!
I watched him in high school. Knew his reputation. Knew he was wealthy, privileged, and mean.
He ran the show back then, a partier and a player.
Then he came back from college, back to the town I never left. He's different now.
He comes into the bar, and I know his routine.
I know which stool he'll pick.
I know his favorite drink. I know which sports team he'll want on the television screen.
And I watch as he gets hit on.
Sometimes he leaves the bar with a woman. Sometimes he doesn't.
But I'm always there, tending to his drinks. He gives me a smile and a polite nod back.
Then one night, after a long appraising stare, he asked, "Ava, why are you single?"
I leaned in, told him a lie, knowing the truth.
What I didn't know was that my world was about to shatter after that night.
Something else I didn't know: would the man I watched all those years help put my heart back together... or smash it into pieces?
** A 42k novella written as a standalone from two characters in the Fallen Crest/Roussou universe.
Download today on Amazon, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Kobo!
Amazon: https://amzn.to/3yNV0pn
Apple Books: https://apple.co/3D3cjVX
Nook: https://bit.ly/3rYXQEe
Kobo: https://bit.ly/3F4tSqn
Add to Goodreads: https://bit.ly/3MxLRHe
Meet Tijan
Tijan is a New York Times Bestselling author that writes suspenseful and unpredictable novels. Her characters are strong, intense, and gut-wrenchingly real with a little bit of sass on the side. Tijan began writing after college and once she started, she was hooked. She's written multi-bestsellers including the Fallen Crest series, Ryan's Bed, Enemies and others.
She is currently writing many new books and series with an English Cocker she adores.
Connect with Tijan
Website: http://www.tijansbooks.com/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4851199.Tijan
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Tijan/e/B00DJG52QE
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Tijansbooks/
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Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/tijan
My Review
5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Aveke by Tijan is a large novella that had me spellbound, mesmerized, by a story that felt like it was happening right in front of me. Written in dual POV which I love, this story rocked my world. This had my heart and stomach melting over and over again. An opposites attract, phenomenal romance that I could not put down!
Ava has always been loyal, and dependable. She takes care of her mother and grandmother, working hard at multiple jobs while she goes to school. But when her world explodes will she be able to pick up the pieces and
finally live her own life.
Zeke is sexy, hot, and loyal. He has a great job and women falling at his feet. But lately he has been feeling lonely. Until he finally “locked on” to her. But she doesn’t have a clue just how gone he is for her. Until this story took a turn I wasn’t expecting, but I couldn’t be happier with how it all turned out.
I was so excited to meet these two characters. Their story is so full of heat, attraction, lust and love. Addictive. Captivating. Hot. Endearing. Exciting. A Swoon-worthy romance. I loved witnessing these two falling into their HEA!
I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT!
I received an early copy and this is my honest review.
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Mashiro Kanade Main Story — Being Loved END
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Kanade: With this song, I will shoot down the bird that can't sing because it lost its voice.
Kanade: And...
Kanade: I will make it realise that the sky it's flying through is a lie.
Kanade’s words were the cue for me to play the intro of the love song I wrote for Kanade while thinking about him.
Soon…——
Kanade: “The Labor”.
Kanade took a deep breath and sang in his unique voice that pierced directly into the hearts and souls of those who heard him.
(…!?)
Kanade’s voice echoed across the venue like a flash of light, capturing my heart as I listened to him from backstage.
(My eyes, ears, skin,… body, and mind have been dominated by Kanade’s singing.)
That was the kind of powerful impact I wanted that song to have.
(This is a dream come true.)
The sense of accomplishment and happiness as I hummed the lyrics along with his singing felt so amazing that I started tearing up.
The crowd became more enthusiastic when SilverVine took the stage, and they were immersed in Kanade singing a love song, something SilverVine had never done before.
More people were joining the crowd surrounding the stage, as if they were drawn in by Kanade’s singing.
When SilverVine finished their first song and was about to move on to the next…
(What!?)
A large group of staff from Rindou were quickly positioned at the entrances, exits, and audience seating area.
MC: There’s so many of them…!
When I exclaimed in surprise, Koki gave me a wry smile…
Koki: I guess that’s it.
We were forced to cancel the guerrilla live show after more members of the public gathered to watch the performance that could be heard from outside the venue, and even Rindou failed to control the crowd…——
The audience was forced to leave before Rindou finally left.
The lights went out, and Kanade stood alone on the dark stage, looking up at the night sky.
I quietly approached him and hesitated a little before calling out to him.
MC: Kanade.
MC: Koki said that he’s withdrawing…
Kanade stared at the sky for a while more after I spoke to him, and then he turned his head towards me.
He was smiling happily in the moonlight, his smile looked happier than any smile I’ve seen before.
MC: Kanade?
His smile was so captivating that it almost took my breath away.
Kanade approached me…
Kanade: Tonight, with your song, I’ve ‘devoured’ countless human souls.
Kanade: What’s next?
(Ah…)
He said in a happy tone, but I could see the “hunger” in his eyes, different from the satisfied look I saw earlier.
(Kanade wants to fly even further.)
(The ultimate goal isn’t to just stop here.)
I smiled back at Kanade and said in response,
MC: Next time, I’ll make an even better song that will surprise you more than this one did.
Kanade: That’s what you said…
Kanade pinched my cheeks teasingly.
MC: Nn…!
Kanade: … And I’ll be looking forward to it.
Laughing together with Kanade, we walked off the stage without looking back.
One month later…
Today, everyone living at the Sakuragi was present in the living room, except MC and Kanade.
Henri: Wait— really!?
Koki: Oh? Why would i lie?
Koki smiled as he looked at everyone’s faces.
Koki: The one-month suspension we received for the guerrilla live show will expire today. So…
Koki: I’m glad to announce that ‘Own The Night’ is back on track! After all, none of us were arrested.
Koki: And, well… that’s great news, right?
Ritsu: It sounds a little too good to be true.
Henri: Oh I get it. There was even an article about this.
Henri looked at the magazine ‘Yuzuriha’ spread out on the table.
Immediately after the guerrilla live show, Makoto began writing a series of articles about the public movement against the Music Control Act.
They consisted of interviews and news about the musicians involved in the movement. There were also articles about Own The Night, HOUNDS, and SilverVine.
Henri: It’s on TV as well. Because of our influence, there have been shows saying things like ‘we have to vote either for or against the Music Control Act”.
Eisuke, who had been reading articles from various news companies, looked up from his tablet.
Eisuke: There has certainly been a lot going on during the past month, however…
Eisuke: Nothing bad happened to the audience that day, right?
Eisuke: So the punishment given to us is reasonable in accordance to the regulatory laws.
Koki: Well, I did make use of some of my connections… and money.
Koki smiled proudly.
And then…
Koki: As for the activities of ‘F’ and ‘SO’, it’s just as they said it would be.
Koki: It appears that the dismissal of these artistes was put on hold, due to pressure from the upper management.
Koki: I don’t think Yuzuru and the others are happy about it, though.
Koki: Anyway, it’s a good thing for us, I guess.
Ritsu heaved a sigh of relief and Koki’s words.
Kyoichiro: Kanade… in SO’s case, it might have had something to do with the fact that he’s popular not only in Japan, but overseas as well.
Kyoichiro: I think the government made that decision to avoid any potential diplomatic fallouts.
Koki: That’s right.
Gaku: Koki, where did you get that information from?
Koki: Hm…? It’s a secret.
Eisuke: We’ve successfully made a breakthrough, now we just have to wait and see before blowing a hole in the government.
Eisuke: I’m looking forward to that.
Shuji, who had been listening to the conversations, looked around the room.
Shuji: Come to think of it, where are the two of them?
Henri smiled wryly…
Henri: Looks like I don’t have a choice. Shall I talk about it?
Henri: … They’re spending time together in their own little world.
After whispering cheekily, Henri burst out laughing.
While everyone was chatting at the Sakuragi…
I had went to Kanade’s apartment and was supposed to be making songs, but…
MC: W-wait…
Kanade: Nn…
I was on the sofa in Kanade’s arms, trying to stop his fingers from getting under my clothes while he kissed me deeply.
MC: Nn.. Kana… de…
I leaned against Kanade’s chest and looked up at him with moist eyes.
MC: Please stop… I can’t take it anymore.
Kanade: Why?
Kanade planted loud kisses on my forehead.
MC: B-because…
MC: I know that… this won’t end with just kisses…
Kanade: You don’t like it? Your face says otherwise, though.
(…! How can you say something so embarrassing…)
MC: … It’s not that I don’t like it. Today, I want to focus on songwriting.
As I spoke, Kanade placed a hand on my knees that were tightly squeezed together.
Kanade: That’s why I’m trying to help you.
Kanade’s hand slid upwards and my breath grew hotter.
MC: Hyaa…
Kanade: When I do this, your heart rhythm goes faster, and your emotions become more genuine.
Kanade: And when that happens…
Kanade: Won’t it give you more inspiration?
MC: … T-that’s
I wanted to say something, but I was at a loss for words. Kanade’s fingertips mischievously played around at the area between my legs.
MC: Nn.. aaah…
Kanade: Lean towards me even more.
Kanade: That’s right… good girl.
After doing as he said, I fell asleep in his arms. And when I woke up, I found myself on the bed.
(He must’ve carried me here.)
When I looked at the sofa, Kanade was shirtless with his guitar in hand, continuing with the song I was working on.
(I thought that I had made my dream song. But now, I’m getting greedier.)
(I want to make a song that will allow Kanade to fly further.)
Just as I held the blanket over my bare skin…
(Ah.)
My phone was ringing.
(It’s from Henri.)
——… He called to inform me about the revival of Own The Night.
From that day on, we spent a lot of time making sure that everything was ready…——
We were finally here at Own The Night’s comeback show.
Shuji: As expected, it’s really popular. Are they waiting for us to come out?
Shuji: I think the crowd is huge tonight.
MC: … Yeah.
This concert was the first since the revival of Own The Night. Of course, it had to be held under Rindou’s supervision and in accordance to the regulatory law’s guidelines.
The invitation club was flooding with new member applications after the guerrilla live show, but Koki continued our activities on a small scale.
However, word had gotten out and people who didn’t have invitations gathered outside the venue.
(I hope this doesn’t cause problems again.)
Kanade: Hm?
Kanade came into the dressing room and stared into my face with his eyebrows raised.
Kanade: What’s with that facial expression?
MC: Um… I’m a little nervous.
(It’s been a while since my last live show, and Kanade was going to sing my song again. Moreover, I heard that media will be present at tonight’s Own The Night.)
As my expression grew even more tense, Kanade said to me.
Kanade: It’s too late to be feeling nervous.
MC: Sorry…
When I immediately apologised without thinking, Kanade laughed.
And then…——
MC: What… K-Kanade?
Kanade took my right hand and got down on one knee…
Kanade: MC.
My heart beat faster as I saw Kanade one one knee in front of me, looking up at me with serious eyes.
Everyone in the dressing room was staring at us with wide eyes.
Kanade: All you have to do is watch me and believe in me.
Kanade: Leave everything to me.
Kanade: Your heart, your body… and your song.
Kanade spoke in a commanding tone, as if he were a King. But he kissed the back of my hand, like a knight swearing allegiance to me.
MC: Ah…
Kanade looked up at me again…
Kanade: It’s just like the first night.
MC: …!?
The hand Kanade was holding grew hotter.
While I was feeling too embarrassed and confused to say anything, Kanade said it again.
Kanade: You just keep quiet and give everything to me, got it?
MC: Y-yes.
Kyoichiro and Henri, who had been watching in silence, looked at each other with huge grins on their faces.
Henri: Haha. As expected of King Kanade.
Kyoichiro: Indeed.
Kanade stood up and gave them his usual calm smile.
The nervousness that had been building up inside me disappeared as I smiled with him.
(If my song will be your wings, I’ll give you as much as you want.)
Kanade: Almost time for the performance to begin. Let’s go.
With my hand still in his, Kanade started walking.
MC: …!?
Kanade: …? Is there anything else you need?
MC: N-no.
For a moment, I thought I could see wings sprouting from Kanade’s back.
MC: Let’s go!
I exclaimed enthusiastically before squeezing Kanade’s hand back and took a giant step forward to match his speed…——
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Get rid of negative thoughts and lose weight
You think thousands of thoughts every day. You talk to yourself more than anyone else. You are your most trusted mentor and confidant. Many of the conversations you have with yourself you would never share with anyone else because doing so exposes your "true self". You are a person filled with self-doubt, anxiety, sadness, guilt, pain, and disappointment.
But this is not a "real friend" at all. This is you that your ego and belief system has built. These negative beliefs have been built up by you and accepted by you as fact. The sad thing is that nothing can be added from the truth.
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Where do false ideas about you come from? They mainly come from other people; parents, teachers, colleagues and friends. They may have planted the seed by saying something like "she's fat" and you've planted those comments to the point where they become your truth.
You are allowing your entire life to be controlled by some obscure comment made years ago. No one has the right or power to dictate who you are. Only you know who you really are and what's in your heart.
When you were born, you entered this world without the burden of your current negative belief system. You enter this world as a beautiful delight filled with unlimited potential and possibilities.
I am here to tell you that you do not change. You are and always will be a beautiful joy with unlimited potential and possibilities.
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The only difference is what you give your attention to. Let me ask you a question. If you stop all the negative conversations you currently have with yourself such as;
- I'm too fat
- Why do people want to love me
- I will never be skinny
- I always fail
And the list can go on and on… How would you feel? Do you think you will feel lighter emotionally? Do you think you would feel happier? Do you think you will feel more confident?
Now how do you think your life would change if you went one step further and modified yourself by only speaking positively about yourself. If you take some time and focus on what you like about yourself and just focus on that then your emotional state will become so positive that you will be able to accomplish anything.
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Once you start looking for the positive within yourself, you'll be surprised to find your splendor is always there just below the surface. You have never been anything else then that shining bundle of joy that came into the world many years ago. It's easy to uncover the positive aspects of yourself by asking some questions.
- What am I good at?
- Who benefits from my presence in the world?
- Who am I, what is in my heart that only I know?
- What do I like about my body?
Your goal is to feel good now. How do you feel now? If you just observe what you feel positive about you, you will feel good, you will be happy. Decide right here and now how you want to feel. Decide that you will always look for the good within yourself and appreciate that good.
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So what does all of this have to do with weight loss? Everything!!! Your emotional state is the control valve that determines what you draw from your experience. The way you talk to yourself creates your subconscious beliefs and programs. So you need to ask yourself if you want your subconscious beliefs and programming to be based on false negative thinking. Or do you want your beliefs to be based on the fact that you are and always will be a perfect human being.
Start today to love and nurture yourself. Let the joy, playfulness, and enthusiasm you acquired as a child begin to spill over into your everyday experiences. Allow yourself to celebrate each and every success no matter how small. Love and appreciate yourself every chance you get. Do this daily and watch your weight start to melt away as your old negative beliefs about yourself start to melt away.
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It is crucial to prepare for traveling with kids. There isn't free WiFi available.
Yes, I said it.. My kids are terrible at this, they think that the WiFi at the at the top of the mountain is not that good.. It's not a big hill, but it is slightly over the typical cell network range, so my kids have to walk around to find a better spot for better internet speed while my wife and I are setting up a small campsite. We're planning to stay there for a few days. The nearby creek provides fresh water. Yes.. Our wife is unable to go camping without having plenty of water. Therefore, we always carry our own.
And so my children are getting back on their social networks, while I am enjoying the view.. The hill isn't too large. It's surrounded and dominated by other hills. At times we venture out into the hills to reconnect with Mother Nature. Only I really enjoy these trips, though I'm not the one who initiates. It is my wife who insists on me doing this, possibly partly because she understands the importance for me to spend time in the wild. My kids are a completely different story. I hate that the Internet is sometimes unavailable. The interruption to streaming music may be due to something that is in the cloud, or possibly magnetic motions. This is really annoying even for me, as I mostly end up hearing the whole thing happen..
After numerous trips without internet and our phones not being able to connect after a few trips, we decided it was the right time to think about a plan. We, i.e. my wife and I, were prepared for the eventuality that our kids won't have access to internet for more than 10 minutes. Two sources of endless entertainment were created, even if the Internet is not available while we're camping. The other was a tablet containing music videos and current chart top songs. Our preferred Youtube MP3 converter helped us to extract music from video and convert them into MP3 before downloading the songs to our tablet. It was also able to work with playlists so it was quite fast, even though it sounds awful. If you're experiencing boredom or sadness it was possible to listen to music, view videos, and - luckily for us all! - hear the sound through headphones that have blue tooth. This is fantastic, right? You can hear the item without making any sound.
These 2 tricks kept my children busy during 4 camping trips with the family. They aren't afraid to go out anymore, - they know tablet 2 will help them get thru boring downtime and will bring it home when they are at their best. I've never been happier, and it's all I've ever wanted - to be with my family.
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