#'you cant do this to me im already taking xanax'
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i need you guys to know that i am really sick right now and have been bed ridden for days. and my evil evil evil friend the other day, WHILE i am sick and overwhelmed already from being so sick, drops the bombshell of "have you realized if you flip episode 21 backwards it's 12..... like midnight.....like cinderella" i actually got so fucking upseti was sick and tired and stressed and then i read that i had to take a fucking xanax to calm the fuck down i couldn't handle it. i hate it here. 12. eyah, sure, episode 21, backwards is 12. sure! ok! was this intentional ? does not even matter. it is like when somebody does the thing that is racist or perhaps sexcist and it is like, well i understand you meant nothing no harm by it beut it was still bad regardless of intentions that is what this is like, even if they did not intend for the 21 to dlip to 12 and be midnight the damnage is done. honestly good allegory for the allegory itself this awhole thing was unintnetional damafe done to ME specifically. like. guys put yourself in my shoes rigth now. i am up at 4:00am i want to sleep but i have to wait 30 more minutes so i can take my meds i am on a schedule so i wont be sick anymore and instead of speanding this time watching youtube or playing video games or doing smth productive you know what, i am thinking about the carriage allegoryand about how 21 backwards is 12. 12. like midnight.....like was that intentional dude.....like the writers, they are generally clever sometimes so like i could vision it being intentional at least a little bit like SOMEbody on the staff knew what was up. i mean it will never be confirmed though it is all speculation whcih is the worst part about all of this, like the lallegory itself i get no fucking closure it is all just guesswork and shambles. and now i am #jonker mode over hwat? pumpkin anime? the only pumpkin kaoru should be doin is pumpin ' his kin ok ok........ stop with the gay cinderella shit nobody cares. see this is why i cant handle the idea of ouran season 2 or a reboot bc, it is bad either way. 1) they bring back the carriage i m done for 2) if they do nt i will be pissed off because i want it resolved so then they are just ignoring it 3) even if they bring it back and do it well i will still be traumatized like this wont ifix anything the damahes had been dealt and i ahve to live with it forever. so for my sake i hope they never remake ouran i deserve some peace and fucking rest ok at least hold out like......3 more years or something like maybe the grief will have dulled by that time. so a remake/reboot/season 2 wont be so traumatizing to me it will be like "oh, ok" you know. i feel like i had a comparison but i lost it. i dont wantch much anime tob e quite honest. can you tell im trying to kill time waiting for 30 minutes to pass it has only been 7. fuck episode 21. fuck the fact it is a 12 when flipped. fuck mifnight, the time. fuuuuuck episode 21. why coulnt it be 22 to avoid this. episod e 21 should be the name of an std
#carriagecore#cant wait to wake up and see this post on my dash nd thing woow i was really tired hihuh#idc about the spelling mistakes im too lazy#;noxiatalksia#ohshc
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yeah AND ANOTHER THING--
yk how I have met sooo many doctors and specialists over the last 10 years, and have had so many trips to the ER and so many awful, invasive tests done, all to no conclusion (until recently)
EVERY SINGLE ONE of those doctors (with 2!!! individual exceptions!!! who I can list by name for this reason!!!) - every single one would do 1 test, throw up their hands, and say, "IDK You look normal but You Do Have Anxiety Though... Anxiety Can Cause Tummy Troubles You Know... Anxiety Can Cause Pain You Know...." etc.
despite all that they still refused to give me anything stronger than buspirone FOR THE ANXIETY. that supposedly is causing all of this unbearable trauma and pain in my body constantly 24/7 that I've been begging for help with for decades. yes. the anxiety that we're going to blame it all on and then just blatantly not fucking treat, at all. you keep coming into my office complaining of every fucking thing under the sun and i keep telling you it's anxiety and yet you keep coming back here! what you want me to fix it now too! thats YOUR job! it's called CBT!
they did give me xanax rx once but it was fucking LAUGHABLE. I still cant get over it. like if i think about this too much I actually get so fucking pissed off I can't. I can't.
1. my friend's dog got a higher dose than me, no joke. literally. a dog. who weighed less than me. was given a higher prescription for her fucking xanax than I was. by a human doctor. for the problem that supposedly fully disabled me. and
2. THEY WANTED ME TO TAKE THE XANAX EVERY SINGLE DAY ON A SCHEUDLE DJSKFLHHJASKHRFEJWH
that is literally. not. what. xanax. is. FOR!!!! and yet because of schedules and liabilities and shit that is how they determine that you need your own drugs and you aren't just selling them. so if you really need your xanax you better use it completely incorrectly, or that proves you dont really need it and we're taking it away. (not to mention the useless fucking pills she had me on that left me with neurological damage, but I digress)
it's not lost on me that, of all of the basic, run-of-the-mill, standardized testing they can do on patients (blood work, physical, mental health eval)... the anxiety eval is the lowest bar. they give it to everyone because you can fill it out in the waiting room. they do not delve into deeper causes of said anxiety or send you to a therapist or a psychologist or even a trauma informed counselor who might actually be better qualified to prescribe something for you. it's a very, very basic eval they can give to anyone to then say, "Well, idk about all that other stuff, but you did say you were anxious. Let me get you some pills for that."
Like absolutely part of why they never wanted to move on to different types of testing or less conventional diagnoses unless I really advocated for myself, absolutely part of the reason they didnt think I needed another diagnosis, was because the anxiety eval was already right there and is the perfect fucking scapegoat. it does indeed fuck up your body and it is indeed true that most people have it, yknow. and for insurance companies it sure would be WAY more convenient if less people had medical issues beyond anxiety that needed treatment....!!! I'm just fucking saying!!!!! (again to my point about "CBT/fixing anxiety is your job as the patient"!!)
anyway effectively they blamed everything on my anxiety for decades and then still refused to treat that supposed cause. this shit I'm going through with MALS is not new.
im just pointing out, to anyone who is feeling woeful because you dont have a diagnosis and you feel that's why nobody is taking you seriously: i promise you it's not the fact that you're undiagnosed that makes people treat you that way. I can assure you they'll continue to ignore you, infantilize you, and tell you it's "just anxiety" EVEN AFTER you secure that diagnosis.
because the real reasons they are not taking you seriously are actually because of 1. ableism and 2. insurance companies, and neither of that's gonna change when you find your dx. if anything it gets even worse. truly you may as well just diagnose yourself if for NO OTHER REASON than the fact that you are already doing more work than all of your doctors combined to figure out whats wrong with you and how to treat it, just by virtue of having to live with whatever you have going on. and that's simply how it's always going to be, so. godspeed
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i would be for real so pissed if i was snorpy. like if i found out there actually was a conspiracy watching my every move but ONLY after i had already started getting professional help for my paranoid delusions about there being a different fake conspiracy watching my every move, and Also learning that sometimes the real conspiracy just lets people think they’re the fake one so they don’t blow their cover, i would start going to the gym more often just so i could punch drywall without immediately shattering every bone in my hand.
#bugsnax#bugsnax spoilers#snorpy fizzlebean#text post#I MEANT THIS AS A JOKE BUT LIKE ISNT THAT GONNA BE SO FUCKED UP FOR HIM#'you cant do this to me im already taking xanax'
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Omfg your writings are fabulous! May I request all of the Eddie's reactions to their s/o telling them they're pregnant?
ok just so you know, pregnancy gives me the squiglies so if these arent my best work i apologize in advance T-T
arkham riddler
oh.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“Wait are you sure its mine” “WELL WHO ELSE'S COULD IT BE?” “SORRY JUST CHECKING”
he’s going to spend the next 9 months panicking just fyi. like a day or two will pass and then he’ll just look at you and you’ll be back to oH SHIT OH FUCK OH GOD IM GOING TO BE A DAD IM NOT READY.
this is honestly the best out come. he could have taken it SO much worse.
blacklight riddler
well. this is a bit unexpected. you may wish to give him a few moments to process before you spring anything else on him.
once he regains his senses, he’s bundling you into the car to take you to the doctor. he DOES believe you but he wants to be sure and he wants you to be checked over by a doctor so you're in perfect health.
he’s in a bit of a daze as the doctor confirms things. He’s not even sure he wants to be a father but so help him he’s going to try.
he’s got some experience with kids. Harley dumps her hell spawn on him all the time so he knows how to hold babies, change diapers and so on. he’s alright with kids, maybe this wont be as bad as he thought.
BTAS riddler
oh he already knows. you've been practically glowing for days already....that and he found the pregnancy test in the trash.
he’s super excited to have a mini him. he wants to tell people as soon as he finds out. you're going to have to physically hold your hand over his mouth to stop him .
He’s giving the game away with all his vague posting on social media buying baby clothes and checking into places that are baby or infant themed. he’s making baby riddles.
since he works for Wakko toys, he’s obviously going to spend the next 9 months building things for him and the child to play with. he’s excited to have someone to test his newest creation first hand. He and the baby are going to be the best of friends
original riddler
he legit fainted when you told him. like on the ground, out cold, needed to sit on the sofa with his head between his legs for a few minutes after he regained consciousness.
ok. he can do this. i mean, his parents were kind of messed up and he turned out just fi-....oh god this isn't going well already oh shit.
you might have to slap him, he’s going to be hysterical and maybe nearly faint again.
i think you might need to take him to the doctors when you go for your first check up. get the poor fucker some xanax or something .
telltale riddler
not to be rude. be he is wondering how the FUCK that happened. he’s 60 he’s old enough to be a grandad nevermind just a dad.
this is going to sound cruel but. do you really want to keep it? like can you IMAGINE him as a parent??? what if he passed on his lunacy? what if the agency finds out?! he really wants you to consider adopting it out.
he’s not going to tell you what to do. he’s old not old fashioned. He’ll be relieved if you say you’ll give it away but he’s still going to guard you like a hawk for the next 9 months. don't expect to be going outside much until this is taken care of
if you decide you want to keep it you're practically going into witness protection. like you have to choose between your family and the life that you know and him. either he’ll disappear from your life to protect you and the child or all 3 of you will up and move to the other side of the world.
zero year riddler
AW YEA BAYBEEE! he’s been waiting for this news for MONTHS . you know what sort of a narcissist he is, he cant wait to have a mini-me and he know’s hes going to be the best dad ever.
he’s already bought a bunch of home birth books. you are going to let him deliver right? oh.
you’d better set some ground rules. otherwise he’s going to be putting folic acid supplements into your smoothies, playing beethoven to your bump while you're asleep.
at least you wont need to worry about him not doing his share of child rearing. he’s clearly enthusiastic
there you go nonnie! hope these were all ok!
got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜
#T-T please no more pregnancy themed asks#i am uncomfortable#asks#arkham riddler#arkham knight riddler#arkham knight#blacklight riddler#blacklight au#riddler headcanons#btas riddler#btas#batman the animated series#original riddler#telltale riddler#batman telltale#zero year riddler#zero year#tw pregnancy#my stuff#my headcanons#my writing#headcanons
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I'm riding shotgun in the car earlier this afternoon, window down, thoughts somewhere else, as they usually are, when we pull to a stop at a busy intersection red light. I can already sense something unwanted happening to my left, some kind of dramatic stirring. There is a stopped car with 2 men outside of it, huddled over this lifeless lump. Fuck. Someone hit a dog in the street and now hes just here, on display.
"Oh no..." This man hit a midsized, blonde, mixed breed dog is laying on his side, flecked with spatters of blood that was beginning to congeal in the Texas humidity. Slicks of tufts of short hair pointed in all directions. The amount of blood was alarming to me; it was all around him in these large splotches that were vibrating in contrast with his bright pale fur and making this glowing halo. His blood had probably been ejected out of the wrong orifices upon impact to make a frame around him. His eyes were these huge black orbs that looked like a dolls eyes, open and bugged staring straight up into the sky, fixed and focused on nothing. It was almost peaceful. We all know that almost doesn't count.
My hand clutched my throat, "Oh my god...no..." We made our left turn with the green light and I couldn't take my eyes away, I hated that I had to look because I knew I was only adding to the blooming, hollow, ache behind my sternum and taking part in my own mental abuse but I couldn't stop. I turned my body to hold the scene that was now shifting and settling into the rear window. "That's horrible...I hope they don't just leave him there..." I'm turned away from my partner who is diving because I'm embarrassed at my tears and I'm angry that I cant push them back into my eye sockets with my fists and control them like I try to control everything else around me and Im angry that I feel embarrassed for simply feeling for another living thing...admittedly too much.
When I moved here a couple of years ago, I was made aware immediately of the huge problem here in Oak Cliff with stray animals that no one cares for and animals that have owners but are not cared for enough. They arent kept inside out of painful natural elements or kept out of busy streets and are allowed to roam unprotected. No one spays or neuters their pets either so its just this steady multiplicity of unwanted animals that move in little packs and are left to roll the dice everyday in an overpopulated cesspool of a city populated by...well...not the "best" members of society.
To put in layman's terms, I live in a poor, uneducated, crime infested shithole of a part of town filled with hard, shitty, uncaring people. And its fine because I love the rawness of my neighborhood, and the constant frantic struggling and everyones wing flapping and leg twitching to survive but it is not without the shameful things that I cannot stand up for even though I am always a champion for the things that the rest of the upperclass world looks down upon. Some things are simply ugly with no redeeming qualities and the mistreatment of aninals is one of them.
It reflects how the human majority regards the creatures around us: without thought, with disregard, and with a "not my problem" mindset. All of the things I hate and cannot and will not accept or respect. We are supposed to protect them, we are supposed to be their saviors as much as they save us with their unquestioning worship and predictability. We are the most intelligent beings here and yet a lot of us cant even afford compassion or foresight and it keeps me awake at night with nausea. People like me are keeping the makers of Prozac and Xanax's stocks forever in the clouds. And we still feel helpless when the drugs effects wear away with the dawn.
I dont know where this rant goes or belongs but it had to escape me so its here and I'm sorry for it's ugly theme but I didnt feel like carrying it all by myself to blister up and leave pock marks on my soul. And I want others to be disgusted. Because when humans are disgusted too many times, they break and take care to avoid doing dsigusting and careless things. Dare to dream, at least...
I hope it came fast. I hope it came like a a crashing wave. I hope he wasn't even aware of his traumatic, deconstruction in front of the eyes of the world on the alter of a shitty inner city intersection. I hope he thought it was a dreaming with his ink pooled eyes filled with sky. And I hope he knows somehow that despite his probable lack of belonging here that at least one person saw him for a moment and hurt for him.
I saw you.
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regretregretregret
tw / suicide , car crash , blood , drugs , alcohol , religion
weekends don't feel the same anymore
ive been away for far too long
cruisin' and bruisin' down the highway of hell that is my poor miserable life.
gaining new tumors and ulcers and blisters and bumps every goddamned day
flying so high the birds cant even see me and then crashing so hard that even james dean himself would feel sorry for my soul
never sleeping and not eating. no drinks and no shoes and no shirt and no service, no drugs or nuclear weapons allowed inside.
wild life, right? the kind of mundane that you only get from working a 9 to 5 job in a cubicle for a pharmaceutical company
except im (insert age here) and unemployed and i have been my whole life
and i grew up too fast and escaped too slow and now i am painfully and totally trapped under the seatbelt in my flipped car on i-80 and the child locks are on
and im suspended above a holy burning fire set as a trap for the angels as they come to reclaim their vessel for lucifer himself
a devil like me that only the sweetest of grandmothers could love and care for, and take in as if they're their own
knowing full well their time is almost up and soon they'll be leaving some poor preteen to the foster system in heaven, and all of the cherubs and archangels will pass them around like a plate of chopped liver at an overcrowded thanksgiving dinner that your mom said you had to go to and, yes, you have to wear the sweater vest
it's like a party except you're all alone and there's only gas station vodka and all of the music comes in the form of clocks ticking and other cars passing you at 90 miles an hour as you lay dying.
and nobody seems to care, and nobody called the police because you finally got what was coming to you.
what has been coming to you since the 8th grade.
a suicide so potent that only the greatest alchemist could have ever even dreamed about brewing, and somehow you've done it yourself on the cold tile of your mother's bathroom.
and all of the pills once in the cabinet are splayed on the floor around you, soaking up and dissolving in the pool of warm blood that is making a slipping hazard all over the floor that she loved more than you.
and that same gas station vodka bottle that you partied with like it was your last night on earth is laying in the crook of your corpse's elbow. painfully empty and trying desperately to fill with blood as it spills from every vein in your body, terribly black and thick, and not at all how the blood of a human being who was loved would look like.
and when the police zip up your body into a black bag and send it to the lab for testing, the head officer just shakes his head and rubs his temples because even though he never knew you he still knew that this was coming.
and as your tired coroner makes the first incision of your autopsy the tox screen comes back and tells him all the pills that you ate.
hydrocodone, acetaminophen, amoxicillin, ibuprofen, codeine, alprazolam, detroxamphetamine, amphetamine, diazepam, escitalopram, fexofenadine, fluoxetine, lorazepam, ranitidine, and sertraline
Vicodin, amoxil, Motrin, Tylenol, Xanax, Adderall, Valium, Lexapro, Allegra, Prozac, ativan, zantac, zoloft
not to mention a fuckton of THC and booze
and he sighs and scratches his ass and wonders if he should even bother finishing, because he already knows that your insides are mangled and black and disgusting.
and he thinks it's a miracle that you even made it this far, and he knows how much poison you used, and the officer knows how much blood there was, and your family knows how much they resent you, and God knows how much guilt you carried until the bloody brutal end.
everyone knows everything about you.
except why you did it, because you never left a note and you don't have any friends to tell so you took that dark secret to the grave with you. literally.
and the funeral is sparse and quiet, and one of your high school teachers attends and tells your red-eyed bloodline how much of a pleasure you were in class and says those five words that they are so so tired of hearing:
"I'm sorry for your loss"
and they've heard it a hundred times today, and a thousand times this week, and a billion times in the last 18 years because that is the only thing you consistently said to them.
and it was always 'I'm sorry' and never 'I love you' and now you can never take that back because you're dead and six feet under, and there's not anything left of you on the mortal plane or existence to bring you back as a ghost so you have to live,
or rather not,
with the fact that your family thinks you hate them.
and there's nothing you can do except relive your memories, because apparently hell is a movie theater that plays all your moments back to you and you sit there and realize that everything is terrible, and you see everything that you could have done differently if you had just cared a little bit more.
and you miss your brothers, and you realize now that you did have friends and you would give anything just to see them one more time.
and you finally, finally, finally find something that you regret more than living:
dying
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Objection!: Chapter 13
Chapter title: A Spooky First
A/n: Oh look! I'm not dead! And thank god that uh I planned this to come out on Halloween! I've never been so happy! In other news, I LOVE PATTON SANDERS AND THERE IS NOTHING I WOULDNT DO FOR HIM. Also, Character asks are always open and for people asking yes you can do art for this (I've gotten some asks, and IM HONORED SO IF YOU WANT OH MY PLEASE DO) Don't forget to leave me some comments!! They make my day!! And Happy Halloween!!
First | Previous | Next
words: 4300
summary: After Romans unfortunate incident, the gang still has to prepare for Halloween
pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile
warnings: swearing, blood, hospital, passing out/fainting, poison mention
Ao3 Link
“Excuse me, would you like some Xanax? Because you are freaking out and it is freaking me out and we are all freaking the fuck out” Virgil claps, Logan turns to him huffing annoyed.
“Language!” Patton exclaims softly, they face him now the same expression plastering their face.
“Patton!” They groan in unison, he shrinks away, his eyes darting towards Romans empty bed.
“Sorry” He mumbles. He makes his way carefully towards the bed, sitting on the remains. He can hear the pair arguing behind him.
“You're telling me? To not freak out? That's like your brand!” Logan retorts, Patton clutches the bed knowing that that will only spark more of a debate. One Patton would rather not be apart of. “I'm mister can't keep my pants on and freaks out over every little thing” Logan mocks, the lawyer had never seemed so childish
“My brand? Oh, I'm sorry that I'm not ‘mister cold and frozen twenty-four-seven!’” Virgil responds, Logan scoffs. Patton shuts his eyes, feeling like a child again, except he can't escape the arguing parents, he has to get them under control. “No wonder Patton doesn't like you!” Welp there it is, Patton stands now. Now Virgil knew that wasn't true, but it sure would hurt, and that was his only aim.
“Oh I'm sorry, ‘mister oblivious towards Romans feelings’” Logan rushes, praying Patton had not heard the last part. Luckily, Logan had the same agenda, they were upset. Although by the look on Virgil's face, it didn't matter, they had really dug deep.
“Enough! Both of you!” Patton intervenes, quite angrily forcing himself between the pair. He faces Virgil first “You, will apologize to Logan about those awful things. And you will calm down, we are all very worried ok? Roman is our friend and the last thing we need to do right now is argue, understood?” He wiggles his finger in Virgil's face, the frozen detective nods.
“Yes Patton” he whispers, a little too afraid to speak. Now it's Logan's turn, Patton spins on his heel, Logan prepares himself.
“And you will apologize to Virgil, you were just as mean! He is allowed to be worried! Our friend is lying in an operation room alone, and we have no idea what's going on!” Patton takes a deep breath, steadying himself “Got it?” He questions sternly, feeling trapped between his own kids. Except they were grown adults.
“Got it” Logan mumbles shamefully. He had to admit, Patton was very good at conflict resolving. And a little scary. They bow their heads, preferring not to meet the lawyer's eyes, waiting for something to shift.
“Good, I'm going to go and get some coffee, you two” he glares “Are going to fix this and be nice to one another, you're friends, don't forget that” He reminds, Logan and Virgil glance up, locking regretful eyes. “And Lo?” Logan snaps his head towards him “I like you very much” He confirms before promptly leaving the room. Virgil notices the blush immediately, he wonders if Patton knows how much that meant.
“I am...sorry Virgil” Logan begins, going first to rid himself of the jumbled ideas in his mind. “You have every right to be worried about Roman, I shouldn't have snapped” He admits, now feeling the effects of his previous words. “And I shouldn't have said...that about your..brand” He quotes, using his fingers to mimic an air quote. Virgil holds his breath, exhaling only when Logan's shoulders fall.
“Guess it's my turn” he jokes, chuckling dryly. Logan nods, avoiding anything. “I'm sorry dude, you're just worried and I think that just freaked me out a bit cause...you're never worried” Virgil rubs his arm, squeezing it to make sure he's actually there. “And it's fine, my anxiety is usually better than…” He shrugs knowingly, Logan purses his lips.
“You have been doing better lately” Logan notes, recalling the techniques Virgil had utilized.
“I have yeah thanks” He smiles, the pace picks up, there's just one thing neither want to address. A word spoken makes it real. “Ok I'm just going to say it, I'm so sorry about what I said...about you being...and Patton and…” he's rambling now, apologies are never easy. Logan winces, Patton's face standing in the doorway, promising, assuring that he likes Logan. As if the lawyer is so desperate for confirmation. “You're not-”
“Let's not do this, shall we?” Logan interjects. His face reserved once more, Virgil curses himself, so close. “I apologize, and you apologize and that is that” He finalizes, Virgil decides not to push, too exhausted for round two. Thankfully the door opens once more, introducing a new topic. Patton returns, smiling and bright as ever, instantly Logan softens, his face morphs ever so slightly. Virgil wishes he could put Patton's energy, his essence in a bottle or something and just bring it out whenever Logan was tense, annoyed or… just needed some light.
“All happy in here?” He asks cautiously, handing the pair coffee. They share one last look before agreeing to nod, saving themselves and the hopeful figure more distress. “Yay,” He celebrates weakly, the matter of Roman still fresh in the air. As if on cue, the door slides open once more, a familiar doctor enters. You can hear the trio seize their breath.
“Judge Reial did very well during surgery” He assures, the collective sigh of relief quite audible. “They are finishing him up before rolling him back here…” Patton smiles, the doctor coughs unsure “However, I would like to...discuss what we found...during his operation” He explains, Virgil's internal alert system goes off, his eyes shift.
“What? What did you find?” He requests, wanting the information more than anything.
“I cant...well...I have to wait for the police” Patton's heart drops, tightening his grip around the coffee cup. Virgil wastes no time pulling out his badge, shoving it in the fearful doctors' face.
“No waiting required, what did you find?” He tries again, the doctors swallows, leading Virgil out of earshot.
“We believe…” He glances back at the worried lawyers “That Judge Reial was...poisoned”
~~~
“Alright kiddos, let's just settle in” Emile advises, herding the trio into the cushioned seats of a nearby diner. Remus hopped in first bouncing until he found the perfect spot, Damian followed reluctantly taking a seat next to his new friend, Valerie sat politely at the end next to Emile.
“Mister pickle can I have some fries?” Remus wonders, showing the item on the menu to Emile, his small fingers tremble as he tries to sustain the giant menu.
“Of course, but you have to get something of sustenance as well” He informs, Remus cocks his head, his little brows raise in confusion. Emile smiles weary, not sure how to continue.
“Little kids Em, you gotta use your little kid speak” Remy teases as he joins the group, kissing Emile on the head before sitting opposite him, next to Damian. The little boy waves politely receiving a ruffle of the hair in return. “You gotta eat something else with your fries little man” Remus sighs, hearing this before, Emile averts his eyes.
“Can I have chicken nuggets and fries please?” He decides, growing impatient already. Remy considers it, stroking his chin.
“Only, if you get some carrots” He offers “Take it or leave, final offer” Remus folds his arms, pouting. “Deal or no deal mister Hart?” It almost felt odd addressing anyone other than Patton as that.
“Deal!” Remus exclaims, shaking Remy's hand quite ferociously. “What are you getting?” He turns, asking Damian who is still perusing the menu.
“Mmm I don't know, Papi usually helps me” He comments, Emile pulls out his phone in remembrance, shooting a quick text to Virgil. The kids continue their conversation, finishing their orders and moving onto their colors. Damian and Remus collaborate on a drawing, using purple, yellow, green and blue to create a wonderful world. Valerie sits pleasantly chatting away with Emile, talking about her day. Remy watches, the kids so...oblivious to everything. And Emile so...happy and relaxed. Remy had to wonder what was really going on in his partner's head, he hates to admit it but sometimes it was hard to read Emile.
“Rem? Everything alright?” Emile cautions from across the table, Valerie joins her brother in his activity adding spruce of red to the mix.
“Yeah...I just-”
“Hold on, sorry, I'm getting a text” Emile checks his phone, his eyes tracing the text, Remy watches the reflection in his glasses. “Oh!” He chimes, he looks to the kids who turn their focus towards the bright figure. The twins find it comforting how much he reminds them of their dad. “We gotta eat quick! Your dad is expecting you home soon!” He tells them, Damian pouts returning to his drawing.
What about my dad?
~~~
“I feel bad for leaving Roman” Patton laments, returning home Logan by his side. He helps his fellow lawyer hang up his coat, before inviting him towards the living room. “Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee?” Patton offers from the kitchen through the window that connects to the living room.
“Tea is adequate” He responds examining the newly hung decorations, little pumpkins strewn around each carved. It was quite easy to tell which ones Patton made and which ones the twins did. Logan finishes his observations, sitting at the kitchen counter watching Patton work.
“One cup of tea!” He exclaims, placing the beverage in front of Logan. The lawyer smiles at Patton, thanking him with a nod. “Do you think V is alright?” Patton fiddles with the sugar packets laying in front of him, trying hard not to reach for his phone. He hadn't wanted to leave Virgil and Roman but it was Halloween night. Logan watches carefully,
“I think…” He starts slowly, taking Patton's hand so he stops. “That Virgil will be ok and that you…” Patton looks up, meeting Logans' eyes, only now can they see just how tired they are. “Need to focus on tonight, its good for you, a distraction. Plus, Roman needs his rest and you and Virgil need a break” Logan explains, Patton nods thankfully. The door creaks open, two scurrying feet rush in followed by a disheveled Emile.
“Papa!” “Dada!” The twins shout in unison running directly into their father's arms. Patton was noticeably happier as they made contact. They instantly began rambling about their day as Patton leads them to their room to change, Emile takes a moment to breathe.
“Heya Logan!” He greets finally noticing the lawyer, Logan turns his focus from the spot where Patton had left towards Emile. “Whatcha doing here?” He asks serving himself some tea, Logan had to wonder how many times everyone had been to Patton's house to feel comfortable enough to do as they please.
“I was invited for Halloween” he responds, Emile's smile glistens. “Where is detective Nyx, might I ask?” he references the empty spot next to the doctor.
“He’s dropping off Damian at Virgil's house” Emile clarifies, Logan nods finishing his drink. He makes his way around counter washing his dish in the sink, Patton returns a moment later.
“Well, they are off getting ready! They are much too excited for this” Patton proclaims, Emile giggles delighted for the twins. “Thank you so much for dropping them off” Patton turns to Emile, the doctor waves it off grateful to spend time with the twins.
“It was nothing, you know how much I love them” Emile admits, Patton laughs softly giving his friend a farewell hug before watching him depart. The twins emerge after a moment, Valerie first spinning around as she shows off her outfit. Logan has to commend Patton, his handiwork on the clothes was astounding. She wore a poofy top with a red sash around her, slowly going out into a short skirt with leggings. She had a fake and very dull sword by her side, and a tiara lay perfectly on her head.
“Beware! It is I! Princess warrior Valerie!” She announces swinging her sword around. Patton claps, laughing delightfully. She jumps into his arms, hugging his neck. “Thank you, papa!” She says nuzzling herself comfortably into his arms.
“Of course angel face,” Patton says kissing her on the forehead before releasing her to play. She takes a swing at Logan, he tilts his head confused but understands after a while ‘falling’ off his chair. Valerie giggles, covering her mouth as she does so. Patton sighs content, shooting a grateful glance towards the lawyer, hoping the dim lights covered his blush. Luckily he wouldn't have to know seeing as Remus joins the group soon after.
“Behold!” He pauses turning to Logan “Is that the right word?” He wonders, Logan nods proudly that Remus even listened to the man's ramblings sometimes. He resumes his position showing off his own royal outfit. The green was prominent, meshing beautifully with the dark black. As opposed to Valerie's outfit, he was messier and fluffier. He waddled around the room, showing off his outfit. Quickly tackled by his sister as the pair engage in a mock fight, careful with one another.
“Kiddos!” Patton stops them checking the time. “Ready to go?” He asks, the twins share a glance before turning back to their father and nodding ecstatically. Patton chuckles turning to the table where he left a witch hut, putting it on carefully. Logan genuinely thought that Patton couldn't get any…
“Cuter! I'm cuter!” Remus claims, he pudges his face, pursing his lips “Look!” Patton sweeps the boy off his feet, placing him comfortably in his arms.
“You're both adorable” He reassures, Remus grins holding his trick-or-treating bag steadily. Logan takes this as his cue to collect Valerie, she wastes no time jumping into his arms, causing an ‘umph’ to escape him.
“I...concur” Logan adds as Valerie stares at him with nothing but joy. They were really cute, Logan wasn't one to deny that.
“Remember we’re going to go for a little bit and then meet up with Virgil and Damian, go with them for a little while and then come home and-” The twins are ready. Disappointment should not have been what Logan felt at the mention of meeting up with Virgil.
“Movies!” Remus exclaims, squirming in his dad's arms.
“Candy!” Valerie adds, Logan chuckles at their antics. Patton nods, he leaves a bowl of candy outside with a neatly handwritten sign with the message ‘Take two! From me to you!’, he leaves the string lights on and locks the door.
“Alright, here we go” He smiles, the bustling street full of kids chattering excitedly to collect candy. Logan has to wonder what is so enticing about walking around for hours, on foot, bothering the neighbors for an unhealthy amount of sugar.
“Down! Down!” The twins chant wanting to be one with the others, Patton sighs looking around before hesitantly setting Remus down keeping a delicate grasp on his small hand. Logan follows suit holding on to Valerie's hand for safety. The twins jump and bounce around as they walk, finally deciding on a house. Remus, with a lift from Patton, rings the doorbell. They wait practically vibrating as the owner comes to the door.
“Trick or treat!” They exclaim together, holding out their custom made bags, as the door swings open. Logan and Patton smile politely at the woman as she fills up the bag, complimenting their outfits and wishing them well on their journey. The rest of the night goes similarly, the twins go from house to house filling up on candy. Slowly the quartet falls into a routine, the kids are allowed to wander freely as long as they don't go too far and Logan gets a moment to breathe.
“Having fun?” Patton inquires, his eyes fixated on the skipping twins who sing a sweet tune ahead of them. Logan sighs, the night was cool but not too bad. Patton, with the addition of his witch hat, was wrapped up cozily in a grey coat. Logan wore a darker coat, longer as well.
“I am having an enjoyable time Patton” He assures, it's quite obvious to tell Pattons nervous. But logan wasn't lying, sure there were moments where he felt uneasy or out of his comfort zone but it was enjoyable. Not having to think about the case or murders. He wonders if Patton knows how amazing it is he gets to experience this, Logan himself never got to do Halloween but this was the twins first time. Something they would remember forever and Logan got to be apart of that.
“That's good, I'm glad you're here” He admits, Logan's face feels hot almost immediately. Patton releases a quick, shaky breath, rubbing his shoulders in a fast motion. “I hope they are bundled up enough, its really quite cold” He expresses, the twins seem fine. With the amount of clothes, Patton made sure they wore, and the amount of heat they circulate by running around proves that. He blows warm air into his hands, wishing he had brought gloves.
“Here,” Logan says taking Patton's arm and linking it with his. It could be debated whether it was for more...self-indulgent reasons but Logan's body heat (As proven by research, he swears) would transfer towards Patton. He expects some kind of retaliation or resistance but Patton adjusts comfortably. Neither could tell whether the redness present on their face was due to the weather....or… ”Better?” Logan asks distracting himself from his thoughts.
“Better” Patton clutches tighter, yawning as they continue.
~~~
“Dee? I'm home!” Virgil calls out setting his things down. A moment later two figures appear, Damian, all dressed up in his wizard cloak and hat, waving around a little wand. Remy appearing behind him. “Well look at you!” Virgil admires kneeling down as his son comes pummeling towards him, wrapping his arms around his dad's neck and hugging him.
“I'm ready! I'm ready!” He dances around, Remy chuckles watching him go.
“Alright alright, how was your day?” He asks taking a coat off the rack. Remy sits at the table, pulling out his phone, no doubt sending a text to Emile.
“I had so much fun! Papi, I made a friend! And then we went out to eat! And then we came here! And I played with goo!” Damian explains, Virgil has to wonder if he already has sugar in him, the boy was never this...hyper.
“You made a friend? That's so good, I'm very proud of you” He encourages grabbing Damian's treat bag, his squiggly name inscribed under the inside flap should it ever get lost. Damian nods, trying his best to drag Virgil to the door, revving to go. “Hold on” Virgil laughs, he walks over to Remy. “Thank you so much for dropping him off” He acknowledges, Remy shakes his head waving it off
“Dude anytime, as much as I would love to stick around I gotta go, Emile and I have plans” He smiles coyly, Virgil swats his arm frowning. “Not that you weirdo, I mean actual plans” He corrects, Virgil sighs. “See ya” He dismisses himself, hugging Damian goodbye as he goes.
“Okey! Time to go” Damian decides, Virgil shakes his head chuckling, no point in delaying. He shuts the house down, putting a bowl outside with candy before starting on the street, a very tugging Damian in his hand.
“Where to first?” He asks his son, Damian points forward with no specific target in mind. Virgil shrugs and follows his son to the first house. Damian had done this last year and considered himself an expert, bouncing from house to house, until finally, they were to meet up with the others.
“Papi...carry” Damian requests, his small hands grabbing towards his dad. Virgil smiles sweetly picking him up, they walk slowly back towards the meeting spot. Virgil would have been worried about missing them but the sounds of shrieking were a pretty good clue. Emerging from a darker street Virgil walks up to them.
“Hey” He greets, Patton swivels around taking Logan with him, as Patton unlinks himself to say hello to Damian, Virgil gives Logan some much-deserved shift eyes. Receiving a glare in return. “How's the night going?” He asks handing Damian to Patton, the little boy seemingly found some extra energy. The twins join the group hugging Virgil's legs as hello, he ruffles their hair, picking up Valerie who seems more adamant to say hello.
“Good! The neighborhood is really bustling tonight” Patton replies, allowing Damian to fiddle with his glasses. Remus pouts feeling a little too short, Patton nudges Logan hopeful. Logan nods offering his own arms to Remus whos mood improves as he takes his place in Logan's grasp. Following Damian's example, he removes Logan's glasses playing with them.
“Look! I look like uncle Patton!” Damian shows, the glasses practically falling off his face. Remus giggles placing Logan's own specs on his face, Logan isn't sure whether his heart can take anymore, or if he's upset.
“I look like LoLo!” Remus decides, it's safe to say, Virgil and Patton couldn't contain their laughter. More than embarrassed, Logan takes his glasses back, desiring to see once more. Damian, bless his little hands, tries his best to place pattons glasses back on the lawyer's face, succeeding only slightly. He fixes them, smiling tightly at the little boy.
“Alright, where to next?” Patton queries. Virgil turns his focus from playing with Valerie towards Patton.
“I don't know, why don't we ask LoLo?” Virgil teases, Logan groans knowing he won't be living that down.
“I'm going home if you continue with your mockery” Logan informs. Patton smiles sweetly watching the pair. Virgil and Logan continue their exchange walking ahead, Patton follows with a sleepy Damian in hand. He releases a breath, he had tried so hard but he missed Roman. He missed the way he entertained the kids, he missed his smile, his booming voice, he missed his friend. He catches up taking his place next to Logan, his energy dulls now, he's exhausted and it finally caught up to him.
“How about a few more houses? And then we settle in for the night?” Virgil proposes, Patton yawns nodding lazily. The kids, as much as they want to have the energy to continue, enjoy the prospect of cuddling on the couch. Virgil examines the trio before laughing his words “Or maybe we just head home” He decides. And so they did, returning to Patton's home after a while. Logan, Virgil, and Patton set the now napping kids on the couch, placing a blanket over them. Patton removes the now empty candy bowl, locking the house as he returns.
“Guess they tired themselves out” Patton comments, Virgil nods stroking Damian's head from behind the couch. Logan sits on the other side, he's not sure how it happened but Remus and Valerie had found their place huddled up with Logan and he was not going to move and risk them waking up. Patton finishes cleaning up, sorting the candies into respective jars labeled for each kid. Once finished, he joins the other two in the living room, stopping himself at the sight of Logan adjusting the blanket so it fits atop both twins. He goes over leaning slightly. “You don't have to do that” He whispers, Logan shakes his head softly.
“It's alright, wouldn't want to wake them up” He lies, honestly he is quite comfortable and the image laid out in front of him is not a sore sight. Patton fights the urge to squeal and hug Logan, instead he nods making his way towards Virgil.
“Hey” Virgil greets, his voice low as he watches Damian's little breaths, his chest puffing in and out as he sleeps.
“You wanna spend the night here? I wouldn't want you to have to drive home at this hour” Patton offers, Virgil ponders for a moment, his own anxieties of intruding overlooked by pure exhaustion.
“Yeah but only if you're totally ok with it” Virgil ensures, Patton nods immediately leaving to set up the guest bedroom. Virgil cradles Damian to go and help, closing the door quietly behind him. “So...Logan staying over?” Virgil raises his voice no, not too much as to not wake his son.
“Oh! Well I don’t want to bother him and honestly, the twins love him and I don't mind having him around so...I suppose” Patton babbles, carefully crafting the bed for the pair. Virgil groans softly, Patton cocks his head.
“Oh come on Pat, go for it!” He enunciates, Patton shakes his head, face riddled with confusion. “With Logan! It's been four years...and longer technically” Virgil glares, Patton stops his grip tightening on the bedsheets, he takes a breath shutting his eyes.
“I don't want to...go through it again” He pauses sitting down, Virgil softens taking a seat next to him. “I know it's silly but...what if Logan...is exactly like Liam?” His voice is so low now, his words seize into a fearful whisper. “I just can't do that again” He slumps his shoulders rubbing furiously at his eyes, his glasses lifting as he does so, clinging to the tiniest ear.
“Logan would...never do that” Virgil hopes, he wants to say something to Patton but how does he know? In all honesty, he doesn't want to see Patton go through that again. Virgil watched Patton suffer silently for years, he knows ...hopes that Logan would never do the same but even the idea…
“I know…” He starts, he shakes his head, a squirmed breath “I know, let's just forget about it” He says standing quickly.
“Patton”
“No it's fine” he refuses to meet Virgil's eyes “I'm fine”
#objection au#sanders sides#patton sanders#logan sanders#roman sanders#virgil sanders#deceit sanders#remus sanders#emile picani#remy sanders#remile#logicality#prinxiety#thomas sanders#youtube#writing#my writing#ao3#archive of our own#platonic demus#ts valerie
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Bums on the vineyard work on their knees in the dirt in their white carhartts. They wear blundstones in the rain and dansko clogs to weddings on farms.
Bitches at Bennington wear lingerie to parties and spill drinks on their lingerie and smoke outside their houses. They leave early to finish their essay, drunk and high, and ask tomorrow morning at the dining hall “whathappenedlastnight”
Young people in the city commute and have opinions and gerrymander their life neighborhood. They wear nike I guess or what they wear isn’t really important. Its fun all the time or actually smarter than you thought they were, they flirted with Xanax in high school which matters to them and they’ve grown out of it but its still just cool to you. Their father is a rabbi. They’ll go to Yale. They’ll go to urban academy. They’ll go somewhere and gerrymander it into ever expanding ever gentrifying Brooklyn. Fuck the upper west side. Want to go to the planetary show at the natural history museum high (there’s a shake shack next door)? Where can I get mushrooms? My dealer lives in bedstuy. He doesn’t have mushrooms. No one does that. You can get Molly on Grindr. You can get k on Grindr. Lets just get high. Lets go to the park. Bike to me.
Teachers think white girl listens. Quiet, good at math, dreamy, literary. I cant wait for the weekend. Grading tests, watching Netflix-with-the-wife-and-dog.
Vineyard commuter teaches off island, has only ever seen 20 year old daughter on weekends. How much she’s grown since sunday night! The students make it all worth it. The pay is better. They have dental or something.
Everyones talking about euphoria. Shut up.
Noise music shut up
Feminism shut up
I guess im in the mood to listen to nas. Or rae sremmurd. Not princess Nokia. My friends in high school were in one of her music videos. They got punched by her or something.
So many trees on the vineyard, in the woods. And people skinny dip and drive and fuck on the beach after they skinny dip and then they skinny dip again and then they go to ice house and skinny dip with their friends and pee in the woods and its all a big thing. What a great day. The weather is so nice today. This is my favorite season, ah yea. I get it. I understand. There’s a party tonight and all the boys will be there and they’ll play stump and pong and get drunk and enjoy each other.
Bennington is 70% girls. Cool and lesbian sometimes. Ugly boys get pussy. Girls modern dance and condescending. Rich. Do you have a car? Are you from the city? I like her outfit. No she’s weird let me tell you. She’s married or raped my friend and gave acid to me at 7am and smiled like it was fine. Irrelevant. Weird. Small town.
At least in the city you’re connected to the facts. They are all around you because everything is all around you. Vineyard nature is so arbitrary, so useless, so deceptive. Everyone has a rolling 3k in their bank accounts. The boy bums dont, they spend and make and spend and make and buy their girlfriends diamonds or make them mugs.
I like sleeping outside. I like book clubs and I like trying to be as honest and perceptive as possible. I like months and years of foreplay. I like when he touches my shoulder in third period or looks at me in fourth period and I think about it for weeks and then we graduate and he looks at me and holds me and I only think about how much I want it, its so pure, there is nothing else to think about.
And when fat girls ask does he like fat girls. What kind of porn do you watch? What should we watch? Porn?
Going to Vermont for summer camp. Will get high on the docks during training. She’s a lifeguard. My campers my campers. Eight-fourteen-year-old girls. Trips, hiking, knots, reading, activities, kitchen, cabin, politics, valley, panic attacks.
I want to fall in love so bad. That must be the answer, the cohesive, the other, the completion. Im so romantic in my essays, I am a contrarian because im flirting and I want you to care about me about everything about me. I want to be consumed, I want to be so interested that I consume.
I want it to creep up on me. And I want it to be a man. Who has never done anything terrible, and will never cheat. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just sex. But ive never understood easy sex. Sex seems like its only good when you work for it. And during, I suppose. If anything was just sex, it would be sexist. He would have to care about her to work to make her cum. She doesn’t have to care to want him to cum. It feels good when he comes and it doesn’t take much work and most importantly she will have made him cum. If she cums, he cares. Id leave him. “I was just wondering, when you fucked my husband, when my husband fucked you, did you cum? Did he try to make you cum? Did he want to see your face when you came? Was it in a closet? On a bed? How often?
She gave him head under the table in eighth grade. He has ginger pubes. Curly. Im a late bloomer. She’s fat now. And weird.
Fuuuuck I fucked up. idc. If he’s a terf ill swoon. Can we build something? Can we play a game? Will you teach me settlers of catan? Will you teach me? Can we make a table together on your roof?
Can we have kids and give them names they wont get made fun of for? What do you think about Sara? Our opinions are the only ones that matter.
Ask me and ill you tell you anything. honestly. I have nothing to lose, im already diagnosed, there is no lie that will reveal itself in a fraction of a second in the muscles on my face. Im indoctrinated, under dogma, seeking dharma, reading and retaining something at least.
Stripped naked love everyone even if we disagree. Im sure we can get along in the right place, maybe even admit to loving each other really.
I want to go home.
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finders not keepers
VERSE: SHAMELESS
CHARACTERS: NATE GOODWIN & MILES WALKER
DATE:
LOCATION: TEXTING
NATE: you forgot your notebook
MILES: which one? i have several
NATE: how the hell should i know?
NATE: it has a black cover and your name on it
MILES: yeah ok
MILES: dont fucking read it
NATE: too late
MILES: bullshit
NATE: shouldn't have left it behind
NATE: i have it now
NATE: they wouldn't take responsibility for it
NATE: you are lucky i found it
MILES: what do you want? a blow job?
MILES: i know you have not read it because you would have something to say about it
MILES: unless you have THAT much self restraint
NATE: wait what
NATE: now i have to
MILES: no respect for privacy jfc
NATE: oh
NATE: it's a journal
MILES: put
MILES: it
MILES: down
NATE: dear diary
NATE: today i had an epiphany
MILES: dear diary
MILES: nate is an asshole
NATE: that's not what i read
MILES: ok
MILES: what did you read?
NATE: you fancy me
MILES: i think youre hot
MILES: so what?
MILES: i also think you're a jerk
NATE: i must be doing something right if you think i'm a jerk
NATE: but thanks
MILES: connor is asking me why we never fucked
MILES: and i cant give him a reason
NATE: you were too busy fucking everyone else
MILES: i could have made time for you
NATE: not interested
MILES: i know
NATE: you asked connor if we were fucking between our takes
NATE: you two haven't changed a bit
MILES: excuse me for not living up to your standards
NATE: you are forgiven
MILES: is that all?
NATE: i'll leave the journal in my car
NATE: i can give it to you when we meet in the set
NATE: don't worry, i won't read it
MILES: you already fucking read it nate
MILES: might as well finish it
MILES: idgaf
NATE: alright i'll finish it then
MILES: fine
MILES: must warn you though
MILES: theres some heavy shit in there
MILES: not sure if it will damage your delicate sensitivities
NATE: i'm not as delicate as you think, i think i'll be fine
MILES: fine, enjoy
MILES: are you going to william's dinner thing?
NATE: yeah why?
MILES: just wondering whether i need to take a xanax before showing up
NATE: i'm great company
MILES: who lied to you?
NATE: 🖕
NATE: i'll assume you think you are great company
MILES: i prefer the index finger, but thnx for the offer
MILES: of course. everyone loves me
NATE: can't argue with a madman
MILES: yeah, you should always agree to disagree with me
MILES: makes life a whole lot easier
MILES: still reading?
NATE: i stopped reading at the point you said i'm fuckable but annoying
NATE: classy
MILES: i only speak the truth
NATE: you're half right
MILES: yeah
MILES: you are annoying
MILES: are you bringing anything to this thing?
NATE: my patience
NATE: as soon as mr chef decides on a main dish i'll figure out something to bring
MILES: awww look at us having a civil conversation
MILES: you know i think its your face that pisses me off
MILES: im supposed to bring pie
NATE: guess this is civil for our standards
NATE: there's nothing angering about my face
NATE: thanks for the warning, i'll skip the pie
MILES: see why you got to be an asshole about it?
MILES: im not even making it dude
NATE: it was a joke
NATE: it just sounds like i'm an asshole because we're always fighting
NATE: and what are you talking about? you just said my face pisses you off
MILES: it does piss me off
MILES: its really hard to hate you when you have that face
NATE: was that a compliment?
NATE: it sounds vaguely like a compliment
NATE: stop hating me then
MILES: maybe it was
MILES: maybe go fuck yourself
MILES: i dont hate you
MILES: pay attention
NATE: i'll assume it's true since you sound embarrassed
NATE: i pay enough attention to know you've got a problem with me
MILES: i have a problem with everyone
MILES: has it ever occurred to you that the reason i "hate" you so much is that i don't "hate" you at all?
NATE: no it really hasn't
NATE: what does that even mean? you are a dick to me because you don't hate me?
NATE: are you mocking me?
NATE: look, i don't want to fight you anymore, and if you want that too we can sit down and have a chat, try to work things out, but don't turn this into a joke if you don't
MILES: why would i be mocking you?
MILES: and you call me paranoid?
MILES: i dont wanna fight with you either
MILES: its been way too long and tbh i dont even know what were fighting about half the time
NATE: i can never tell why you do anything
NATE: and you are paranoid
NATE: good
NATE: i don't know either
NATE: let's not
MILES: well i dont have a secret agenda
MILES: sounds great
MILES: im sure everyone will appreciate this peace treaty
MILES: olivia specially
NATE: that's good
NATE: some of us have never been punched by her and would like it to stay that way
NATE: you want me to bring you this journal?
MILES: she looks tiny but she carries one hell of a punch
MILES: plus i think she was on coke at the time and that shit gives you super powers
MILES: sure?
MILES: right now?
NATE: can you imagine her during black friday?
NATE: the earliest i can swing by is on the weekend
MILES: omg now i cant stop picturing her punching her way through a crowd of people
MILES: im sure its happened in real life
MILES: sure
MILES: have you ever been at my place?
MILES: i cant remember
NATE: not in a very long time
NATE: you've probably moved
NATE: send me your address just in case
MILES: [ google map attachment ]
MILES: i havent moved in 5 years
MILES: bring a few beers
NATE: 😒
NATE: fine
MILES: what?
MILES: were you just planning on driving all the way here just to drop off the journal?
NATE: no
NATE: i'll bring the beer
MILES: see you on the weekend then
NATE: see you
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Just A Rant-Don't Bother Reading
These past few months have been horrible. All I do is drag my feet day thru day, counting the moments till I get to be back in CA. I thought I would be coming home to my friends. The people I trust, the ones that promised to always be here for me. One of the friends I used to trust most is who I want to talk about right, and get ready to be put on blast bitch. So I come home to you seemingly to do well, you have a new place and a new car. You show me your room for the first time, you have all these new clothes. A walk in closet full, tags hanging from countless items. You tell me you bought a magnet, the kind they have at the register in department stores. You go into changing rooms and take tags off the clothing and steal everything you can get your hands on. You have become this heartless, cold, selfish bitch. I don't even recognize you anymore. I heard you stole a mans social security number, ruined his life, got his children taken away, and his girl to leave him. Your boyfriend is ashamed to be with you, he wont even let you tag him in a picture when you cant even see his face. You haven't met his parents once, you've been dating for over a year? You don't understand why you cant show off your love on social media. Maybe its cause you look high in every single one of your photos on social media. You think your invincible and that everybody is so clueless-reality check, work is fully aware of the fact that you smoke dark and clear. You are more loyal to the dick then to your girls that ride for you. You keep all your guy friends around you, but no surprise there, you’ve slept with almost every single one of them. I met someone who has known you since you were very young, he didn't have a single nice thing to say about you. Most of the people from your past hate you, you haven't kept a single life long friend. I wonder why? Could it be that you are truly a psychotic? You play puppet master with the group of friends you have managed to keep, most of them stick around because they need their dope. Not because you are a thrill to be around. You invite people over because you cant stand to be alone with your thoughts. You sit on your phone and ignore everyone, stay up all night fighting with your best friends boyfriend after she asked you not to text, but god forbid you cant be in control of everything around you. Im watching your life crumble around you, I tried to be there. I texted you everyday, I offered my company, I offered an ear to listen. You treated me like fucking shit. Now I will sit on the side lines and watch you become more alone, less attractive, and get older and older. Your almost 40 and your entire life consists of nothing but stealing clothes from the mall, serving tables, and smoking dark and clear. Eating Xanax your dirty doctor prescribes you, while your family looks at your with shame. You lie about everything you do. You have a camera in your room, not only a camera, but its hooked up with microphones as well. You keep the photoage too. Some weirdo shit, you watch people while they come to visit you. You watch what people do when you leave the room. You had your best friend (the one I mentioned already) house sit while you went on vacation, you found photoage of her walking naked in your room, you showed a couple of those guys you are so loyal to. Your sick. Your cat died because you smoke too much meth around him. You ignorant asshole. You are only months from completely pathetic. Oh, I forgot to mention you came home early from that vacation because you are such an embarrassment to your family that they looked thru your bag to find you foil. You think you don't look high, but you do, you don't think your boss family friends know, we all know. I once had your back, I would of done anything for you, but now all I plan on doing is watching you fall. Just the same way you cheered on all my failures because you feed off that shit you sick bitch. I cant wait for the day that you are alone, with nothing but your drugs, your thoughts, and the countless items of stolen merchandise. This one is for you, FUCK YOU.
Love your last true friend. Peace bitch.
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Every time i get more xanax the fucking doctors side eye me and tell me BE CAREFUL
k and that would KIND OF make sense if my requests fucking correlated to me over using them
My doc in america reccomended and gave them to me. I got two refills in total. One i got refilled because after like a month i used them and the second i got because i was about half way done and wanted to have extra encase my health care got taken away with a new job. Also my mom was falling apart and my grandfather sold the house and some guy was fucking with my feelings
My doc knew ALL of these things cause she asked me do i know whats causing my stress. Why yes doc. I do. And i told her about the looking for jobs and connection with my health care and that i was requesting more for just encase
And she was like well this is the last refill because youre not taking your anti depressants.
Well my antidepressants dont take away the depression or the stress. They freeze my brain. Just because i cant think about why im sad doesnt take away the sad.
Then here i am in japan. Surprised they have xanax. Asked my doc and she was like yeah here of course
I got 14 pills cause japan
About two months maybe even 3-4 months later (i have no concept of time here) i asked for more and she asked if i finished. I said i have some left but since i was already in her office i dont wanna pay to come back to get the prescription (japan medical idiocy rules). And she did the whole
Be carefulllllll
Shpeal
So k 1) xanax doesnt kill you - trust me. Did my research. Wish it did. It doesnt. More of one of those freak accidents you mixed it with too much strong shit / are not used to strong drugs—-leading into 2) if youre on xanax you probably NEED strong drugs to feel something and thus are in fact used to them
3) if you give me x pills and xtimes 6+days have passed since…. Then im obviously not addicted. I cant have possibly taken them every day if i dont have nearly as many as days that have passed. So stop looking at me like a drug addict
4) would it really be so fucking bad if i DID take them every day?! Im on them because my chest literally cant deal with the stress of my life to the point it hurts. Most days i just lie in bed weeping from the stress and letting it hurt. Sometimes i take a xanax so i fan feel calm for a fucking hour. Would it really be so god damn bad if i wanted to feel calm everyday???? Like a normal fucking person?!
5) still just on my soap box about how people need to stop policing whether or not youre allowed to choose to die or not. Noones feeding and clothing me or paying my bills or taking me out so im not lonely or making me laugh or consoling me. No ones fucking helping me want to be alive - or anyone. Its your fucking fault and punishment to end up on the streets but let someone try to end it all and OH NO!!! Suddenly human life matters and your STILL in the wrong
Fucking imagine a world where we have safe and painless drugs that kill you that you can just take if you want. Then theyd have to make this world livable. The reward for staying alive would have to be more appealing than dying. But they dont want that. They want us here-poor and miserable so that the ones on top feel good. Feel like theyre winning. Cant feel superior if theres no one to look down at
Anyway i took a xanax and as i got it out of my box i was really angry and raging about this in my head cause my chest hurts and my brain is a ball of stress. Its a nice day and i have no friends. No family. No good job to look forward to. No nice place to live. No fun hobbies. Nothing to do.
No matter how hard to try or what i do I’m always gonna be shit and miserable
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This was the last day I was happy I thought I was gonna celebrate 4/20 with Meghan and I bought 2 $90 medical wax one for me and one for her she never got to see it we never got to celebrate 4/20 and she broke my heart for reasons that have yet been explained to me even though whenever I asked she was like are you serious and then she brings up the time I was being a really really bad person on Xanax but I don’t understand because we had already broken up and then I had to win her back and I thought that I was going to kill myself then but I won her back and everything was okay again for fucking 5 months everything was okay until out of nowhere it wasn’t and it happened to fast and I don’t understand what happened and why you hate me and I don’t know what the fuck happened what did I do I wasn’t even doing anything I wasn’t hiding anything I just loved you and freaked out because I thought you were fucking other people and YOU WERE YOU FUCKING WERE EVEN THOUGH YOURE THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE HAD SEX WITH SINCE WE STARTED DATING NOT ONE FUCKING TIME DID I FUCK ANYONE ELSE IM NOT LIKE THAT I DONT EVEN FUCKING LIKE SEX THAT MUCH WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME I FUCKING HATE THINKING ABOUT SEXNOW BECAUSE OF YOU I CANT EVEN FUCKING BEAT MY OWN DICK BECAUSE YOU FUCKING HAUNT ME AND MY BRAIN I DONT WANT TO FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE AND YOU LITERALLY ADDMITTED TO CHEATING ON ME BUT IM THE FUCKIBG BAD PERSON THE FUCKING DUMBASS THAT ONLY SAT AT HOME FUCKING WAITING FOR YOU AND YOU WERE THE ONLY PERSON I TEXTED AND I FUCKING GAVE UP MY ENTIRE FUCKING HIGHSCHOOL SOCIAL LIFE BECAUSE YOU WERE TO INSECURE TO GO TO PARTIES OR LET ME HANGOUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND YOU MADE ME HAVE TO BE SECRETIVE ABOUT IT EVEN THOUGH I NEVER WANTED TO DO ANYTHING WITH ANYONE BECIDES YOU BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVED YOU AND I HAVE YET TO FUCKING LOVE ANYONE AS MUSH AS AT STILL LOVE YOU AND YOU HURT ME FOR WHAT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK I DID THAT MADE IT OKAY TO FUCKING DO THIS TO ME I HAVE HURT MYSELF COUNTLESS TIME IVE TRIED TO KILL MYSELF 5 TIMES NOW NO ONE FUCKING CARES NOT EVEN THE FUCKING PEOPLE THAT DID THIS TO ME I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING BAD TO ANYONE and now someone who wasn’t a bad person someone who had drug problems sure but just because you do drugs doesnt make you a bad person and just because the drugs makes you do bad things and other bad thing happened doesn’t mean I consented to it. It doesn’t mean I wanted that to happen. I didn’t even realize what I was doing was bad until the xans finally wore off and I could finally think and remember what happened and why do you think I got baker acted the second time because the xans finally wore off and I was doing coke and I was so upset at myself I just wanted to actually do it and I haven’t not felt upset about it ever since because you are my soul mate my Juliet to my Romeo I can’t live without her and I love her so much I might just take my own life to show you that I actually did care. I cared more than anything in the whole world which is why I’m willing to show you this one last time in an undeniable way the only way I can anymore and I just ask you to forgive me and remember all the happy times and all the jokes I used to make and how I made you so happy and I I said I loved you because I would do anything to go back to that right now. To go back to you calling me over and over but I was ignoring them or whatever because I was a fucking asshole and a fucking dick and I was selfish and mean but I never stuck my dick in anyone else other than you to this fucking day but you can’t say the same huh because how I feel is I’m the loyal one because do you know how many times I could have but didn’t because I’m not a fucking manwhore and I didn’t even like sex that much like I liked to but not that much to where I would betray you and there was a couple of times where I had an opportunity but I didn’t take it because I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND I NEVER DIDNT LOVE YOU AND I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU EVEN ON BARS But hindsight is 20/20 right :(
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Under Maintenance
The events of last week was already stated. Hoping that i mentioned i scheduled another consultation, let me tell you what happened to this week.
Come Monday, i was a bit too anxious with my appointment. nervous, i ended up pacing. Psychologist resulted to suggesting to talk to the psychiatrist instead. Even mentioned making me take medication to regulate.
Let’s recap “Progression” - inexplicable burst of tears, sleepless nights, lethargic days, feeling thoughts instead of emotions. my mind is usually blank. no interest in interacting with anyone. irritable. hope you get the picture.
so im sitting down in the psychologist's office panicking like i’m about to die, texting my friends that this is actually happening. i got even more tensed up. i paced some more, then the psychiatrist ended up talking to me. i told him the build up from not sleeping, to not eating, to puking, to whatever. he kept asking about how i sleep, or when it happens, do i feel it. why do i think im overly aware of what im feeling.
he labelled a few things that made sense. he said i experienced a “chemical imbalance” and that sleep would not cover it. nor trying to force myself to go back to normal he also mentions that since this is chemical, this might elevate my anxiety more if i dont take medication. of course, he added, dependency on the drug might not be effective if you dont continue with the therapy.
i’m still doing what the doctors told me, breathe, write, sleep, eat. but getting into medication is somewhat weird. he prescribed me Alprazolam or Xanax. i got more anxious the moment i read, “Prescriptions for Dangerous Drugs”. though i was anxious and afraid. i felt nothing. i just then realized that im not myself and that im faking most of my day. So i went along with it.
i came to meet up with Mich. Found myself in the drugstore buying my prescriptions. i was a bit embarrassed because of that piece of paper, and the clerk didnt make it easy. it took her almost half an hour to decide to give me those drugs or not. like hello, i’m given a prescription, it’s not even a good fake if you asked me.
Doctor said, drink before sleep and when i get an attack. make sure to consume one tablet a day, if not one at least half before sleeping so that the other half is when you experience an attack. So, i did. doctor’s orders. before sleeping. i had the best 10 hour sleep since i started lacking. Woke up still anxious though but then again, i could regulate, but not enough so i ended up drinking. i havent felt like myself in months. it’s like i got my strength back. like i was reborn.
the week went on differently after that. thoughts started to formulate in my head, i started feeling other things that panic again. now, guilt is triggering it, but i think it’s more like fear.
i’m half ok. its like that feeling that you ate half of anything, like cake, and said you’ll get back to it but didn’t. i feel like that. but at least, my cloudy mind is gone. i can look up again. i can get sleepy again. i can feel other things again but im not fully complete. i miss being complete.
what im trying to say here is, im under maintenance. still trying to survive my own problems while dealing other problems that dont pertain to me. however, i cant fake it anymore. Death becomes me as day pass. Hiding what’s real and faking it, it’s torture. i just hope i can finally share what’s happening to me. at least with the team.
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I feel like my best friend died and its getting hard to cope because i really miss the person i thought you were and this feels so stupid because i know you can see this shit whenever you want and my feelings are completely exposed and i feel naked and you probably wont even see it because why would you take the fucking time and you dont care and no one cares and this is fucking murdering me everyday and i keep thinking that if everyone i know will betray me like this then maybe i should just be dead and please dont see this and this is getting to be too much and you have better shit to do than to care about a piece of shit like me and you mourned me in a fucking weekend, mourning me took you two fucking days and its taking me a lot more because i did fucking care and i hate myself and i already took half a xanax but the bad thoughts are there anyways and why just why did you have to die and why did you have to leave me all alone here and there’s no grave to cry your death and i will have to see you everyday like the ghost of you following me to remind me everyday how little i mean to you and this is too fucking much and i cant stop moving my feet and i cant stop writing and i cant stop the world, i swear i cant and fuck i hate you and i hate myself and i hate life and i hate fights and i hate abandonment and i hate moving on and i hate everything and i know exactly how to stop this and im just too fucking scared to do it
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yeet
just bought two packets of paracetamol (20 pills each) and i plan on popping them pills as if they were a cake in the middle of a binge, and i plan on taking them with alcohol, cause that mf is the real mvp. and ill do it in the woods or something, and at that point i will have already told my parents im staying over at a friends, because with paracetamol, you die in a matter of days or weeks, not hours. so my parents wont be looking for me, and ill be laying in the woods some place that people cant find me, annd ill lowly and painfully die.
and why would i choose this way to die, if it is as painful and horrific as it is? well, a couple of reasons. first of all, i do not deserve anything less. dying in a painful way is the least i deserve, ans if anyone deserves to go that way, it is me. secondly, im to much of a coward to hang myself, jump from a bridge or in front of a train. with pills, you just simply swallow them with some liquid, and the best part, after some time har passed the damage becomes irrevesable. ive heard its like two hours or something, but it seems like too short of a time, so ill just make sure nobody finds me in at least 24 hours. 24 hours is also, as ive heard, the time it takes for the side effects to kick in, or at least till you start experiencing the worst pains. of course, it can also happen sooner or later. it depends, i guess, but i am not quiet sure what it depends on. is it the amount of pills, can alcohol affect it, or is it just pure coincidence? i do not know, but i intend on finding out. another reason i choose this way of dying is that the paracetamol is very easily accessible. i cant really get a hold of xanax or carbonmonoxide, even though that would be a lot easier. neither can i get perscription sleeping pills, which are the strongest ones. the sleeping pills would honestly have been great, since you litterally sleep to death lol
anyways, i want to do it as soon as possible. well.. thats a lie. i do not want to do it. nobody actually wants to kill themselves, like, the act of taking ones own life. that takes a lot of effort, and being a person who can berely even take a shower without being drained of energy, it is not that appealing. but many people, like myself, do want to die, and dead is what i want to be as soon as possible. unfortunately, me and my parents will be travelling to my family in turkey very shortly, in like 3 days, and i am afraid that i will not die in that time, and i cant really say im going to be at a sleepover when we will literrally be travelling to turkey. and lets say i took the pills, and then i was at home because of the turkey situation, and then i start getting all wierd and they take me to the hospital and find out that i overdosed on pills. not only will my suicide attempt have been ruined, but i will also have caused my parents a lot of trouble, i mean, the plane tickets were definetly not cheap, and theyd find out about my problem and it would just be bad.
so i think ill wait, either till were back from turkey, or when we are in turkey. even though, i probably wont be able to do it in turkey since i dont have any friends i can “sleep over” at, and ill be surrounded by family all the time and it will all be complicated. probably after turkey though. still, since i am a fat fuck i really dont want to be in turkey where ill have to be in a bikini or shorts and my family will be there to judge me. they never fail to do so. and ill cry every night, but it is my own fault after all, so ill thank myself everyday for making me a fat fucking whale who is taking up way too much space and who does not deserve to live anymore (well, honestly, when did i ever?) and ill just have a bed time all together, but anyways,,, what can i do i guess. it would indeed be better if i comitted suicide in turkey, i now realise, as i imagine my family will want me burried in turkey. i cant imagine theyd want me in norway, not that it matters that much, but like its a culture thing. at least i think... it doesnt matter anyways, cause like fuck, ill be dead, and thatll be a big burden lifted from their shoulders. having to travel to turkey is not that bad, compared to what theyll gain from it.
anyways, im really depressed and emo right now, so im just letting all my thoughts out here, in english for some reason even though that is not my first language. guess it just feels easier, somehow. as if it is not me who is writing it.
another thing, hehe, is that im currently listening to fireflies - nct dream, on repeat, and the song is really inspirational, all like “dont be afraid”, and “youll never be lonely”, and things like “if you scream my name ill be there”, but honestøy its making me more sad because i keep on screaming “jeenooo” and “renjuun” but they are not here lol so yeah guess they wont be here if i scream their names. and if you have not listened to the song, you need to do that right now, its a bop. really, do it right now, support my boys, even though they did not show up for me because they deserve the world and you deserve to have your ears blessed with such a beautiful song.
okay honestly this is too long haha what can you do. it be like that sometimes
(16.07.2019)
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ok so i need to get insurance for my car asap how long if i call today and pay for everything over the phone how long until i am covered? Do they have to send me a card which means i have to wait to drive until i get it?
Car insurance for one day - for driver's license test. possible?
So I'm hoping to use my mom's car to take the driver's license test in a few days. I live in the United States. The problem is I'm not insured for her car, but to do so for the full term costs a LOT (I'm 21). And, I'm moving back to school and probably won't drive her car again for a long time. Insurance is necessary to take the test, right? If so, is there any alternative to getting 6-month or whatever coverage?""
What is a Cool looking car but cheap on insurance?
I am looking for a sporty looking car but not actually considered a sports car and is cheap on insurance. I like a Dodge Stratus and Dodge Intrepid type looks IS there any Cars that Have the cool look but Is cheaper on insurance I know they exist but could you give me a list PLEASE THANKS FOR THE HELP
How much money would a 16 year old have to pay for yearly insurance for a sports car?
how much money would a 16 year old have to pay for yearly insurance on a sports car? for example a 1999 ford mustang
Question about getting your own insurance?
A friend of mine recently just got his license and he tried to go on his mother insurance who doesn't have any insurance. Well, she tried to go on her own and they said that she had to put every single person who has insurance on, which will cost like 500 dollars per person!! Anyways, will it be possible for him to get his own, and will it be cheaper? Also, his father has his license suspended but that was at least 2yrs ago or so. Do they have to know about this or is they way to keep it from them. And, Do you have to put money down when getting insurence?""
Motor cycle insurance for an 18 year old using usaa?
How much would insurance be for an 18 year old using USAA? I am going to get a Honda CBR250R for the gas mileage. I live in Southern California in Riverside county. the bike would be my primary transportation and i have a perfect driving record. along with straight A's. please help?
Were can you get cheap car insurance?
i am 17 years old. i have ford kA and i am trying to look for cheap insurance cn any one help? xx
Best Insurance company?
What is the best insurrance company for both auto and home please let me know as soon as possible - I live in WV
How much can I expect to pay for cobra insurance?
I was recently offered a job that pays much more than my current job. The downfall is the employer is small and does not currently offer an employee insurance plans. I'm 30 years old and I've never had any major health issues. I know I can keep the insurance from my former job thru cobra law. But what will i expect to pay. Currently as an employee I pay 26.35 per each pay period (2 week pay periods) for medical insurance and 9.53 a pay period for dental. In summary i pay roughly 71 dollars a month to cover myself only (no dependents). the company i work for has 7000 employees worldwide. probably 2-3000 u.s. employees. How much can I expect to pay for cobra?
Car insurance quotes?
Is there any place to get a car insurance quote without entering in a bunch of personal information? I am looking for quotes for a sedan, coupe, and SUV for a new 16 year old male driver. (Im trying to decide what a good deal is, and what is worth buying)""
Do landlords usually have homeowner insurance?
Do landlord usually have homeowner insurance? Also is it true that most homeowner insurance have liability coverage? And if they took out a mortgage does the mortgage company require them to have some kind of homeowner insurance?
How much would car insurance cost?
I am almost 16 and am going to buy my uncles 2010 Chevy Camaro SS with 700 plus horsepower and would like to know how much it will cost to insure it thanks
Which insurance license test is easier for California?
which insurance license test is easier for California? -Auto -Health/Life -Real Estate I want to get a license, but not sure which..""
""Cheap Insurance, For a 19 year old?""
hi im a typical 19 year old, been driving for 1 year this month. Does anyone know of any Cheap Insurance places, Everything is so expensive! i dont want to be paying more than 50.00 a month! Please help""
Is there affordable health insurance out there for someone who has had high blood pressure?
Is there affordable health insurance out there for someone who has had high blood pressure?
Does the cost of insuring a car go down when you turn 18?
is it worth waiting a couple of months to my eighteenth birthday to get cheaper car insurance? thanks guys!
Tip cheap car insurance quotes in illinois
Tip cheap car insurance quotes in illinois
A Question About My Health Insurance?
If I have health insurance, for example, health net..and I got married..would I still be covered even though I have a different last name or will my health insurance drop me?""
Where's the cheapest place to get car insurance?
I'm a new Driver, passed nov 2010, i'm 27 and female... wanted to know if anyone could advise me on the best place to get car insurance on a KA 1.3... Tried the price comparison sites but they are all 1200+ Thanks""
What costs do you need to think about if you are thinking of buying a couple of narrow boats and renting them
what insurances, fees, maintenance costs etc do i need to be aware of. Thanks""
What will happen to my insurance rate?
I'm an 18 year old driver with geico and I have just been in an accident (my fault). My tires skid as I braked and I hit the stopped car in front of me. Nobody was hurt and the other car's back bumper suffered some scratches. The bumper was still intact and the only thing noticeable is the paint transfer. The police came and he offered to not involve insurance but the other person insisted so now my question is, how much will my insurance go up? Cause I've heard the geico is pretty notorious for jacking up rates alot . Thanks""
Father wants to add either wife or daughter on the car insurance policy? Who will be cheaper to add?
Father wants to add a named driver to his insurance policy and wants to add the wife who is 48 years old whom holds a provisional licence. However, the daughter who is 17 (nearly 18) wants to be added as a named driver as she does quite a lot of practising in the car. From the situation would it be the same price for both? or would it be cheaper for the older women. Both have not passed test so wouldn't the insurance policy price be the same for both. I would like to know the difference? or whether it would be the same as both just hold provisional license?""
Can anyone tell me the average price for car insurance?
i would like a very low price range with a website to prove it
Blood test and insurance?
IS THE BLOOD TEST FOR AFP COVERED BY MY INSURANCE?
How long will my accident affect my insurance premiums?
I just filed a claim with my insurance company, in California. If they find me to be at fault, then how long will my insurance cost more? Is there a certain time that it won't be on my record, or count anymore?""
Who really has the cheapest car insurance?
its gotta be cheap
If i was to buy a 1.4litre car would my insurance be cheaper than what it is just now?
I am driving a 1.6litre at the moment
Benefits of health insurance?
How do individuals benefit from having health insurance? What are the sources from which an individual can obtain health insurance? Why do you think the government provides insurance to older and poorer Americans? What are your opinions of this practice? Why is health insurance likely to become a bigger and more complex issue in the future? Is health insurance a current events issue today? Why or Why Not?
Who is responsible for the Car Insurance costs? (Please Read)?
Hello, I would really appreciate any one who can help me out with this, personally i am so disgusted with the government and the way the country is run that i don't know much about politics as i stay away from it for my own stress levels. Two months ago my nephew took his own life, as well as a variety of mental health problems (Which of course also go's uncared for in this country) other reasons he couldn't cope to live in society was that he couldn't get a job (200+ job application attempts) he discovered that to increase his chance of getting a job he would learn to drive so he can get to A to B. After going into approx. 90% of his life savings he managed to take driving lessons and even managed to pass his test. At this point he couldn't get insured because he discovered even if he was in a FULL TIME job he couldn't afford it. Yes he was male and was an adolescent. But he didn't want to drive to show off , have a nice car . Etc. he wanted a car to get to A to B to increase the chances of getting a job. I want to know who is in charge of car insurance etc. (department of transport??) so i can write to them and explain the situation which makes me sick to my stomach thinking about. Everyones aware the government are trying to get young drivers off the road, but to then expect them to find a job even in this tough climate is beyond me. I won't start/sign petitions because evidently from the past they don't really get you anywhere i just want to write to someone to tell them the story of why my nephew took his own life as well as to take out some of my anger on someone. Who can i contact? Thank you and i really appreciate any help anyone can give me x""
What do i need to bring for a driving test in california?
im going to take the driving test in california, what will i need to bring? (not the written test) i know ill need my permit and insurance stuff, what else? do i need my social security card or my birth certificate?""
CAR INSURANCE I NEED HELP!?
Me and my boyfriend wants to buy a car but were concern about the car insurance we cant afford to pay 200 dollars or more a month just for car insurance but we refused to drive with out insurance we have a baby on the way and we don't know what to do and we really need a car bad please anyone can you please help us out if so can you leave numbers if you know something we just need help
Car accident claim to insurance company?
a car rear-ended me one night. after i made a claim to his insurance company, his insurance company said that they will deny my claim because that guy was also rear-ended and he was dragged into my car. i did not see any car rear-ending the car behind me. when i told that insurance company that your customer might be lying to you, and i asked them if they are going to go for his words. then that insurance company told me that, wouldn't your insurance company do that for you. what should i do in this case? any help is appreciated. thanks""
Reducing Car insurance?!?
Hi, I am just curious because I know someone who does this but situation is a little different. His parents are split up so he has a car at his mother's house (where he would HAVE to be registered as primary driver) but he lives at his father's house so he only pays occasional driver's insurance even though the car is always with him. (both the father and mother have licenses however are not insured under the car in question) I am just asking if it were possible for me to do that with my grandmother for example. If I get a car registered under her name, but since I don't live with her can I pay as an occasional driver? She does not have a license. If it helps I live in Ontario, Canada. Thank you""
Question re: insurance premiums and taxes?
I've read that health insurance premiums can be itemized deductions. Any others? What about accident insurance I pay for out of my pocket? I pay for both accident and sickness premiums to the same company and pay for all my policies out of my pocket. Any help is appreciated.
Could someone tell me how to get a speeding ticket reduced?
Hi. I got pulled today. It is my first ticket and the first time I have ever been pulled. I was going 47 in a 25. I thought that the speed limit was 35 becasue everywhere else around the place I was pulled is 35. I have no problem paying the fine of $222 I would just like to know if anyone could walk me through the process of getting the violation lessend so that it will not be put on my license. Any help that someone could give me would be greatly appreciated.
Why did so many Liberals run away from the ACA as soon as they found out that they'd have to pay for their own Affordable Health Insurance ?
Why are so many Liberals running away from the ACA they declared that they needed so desperately as soon as they found out that they'd have to pay for their own Affordable Health Insurance ? I don't get it ?......Liberals asked for Affordable Health Insurance not Free Health Insurance so why are they running way from Affordable Health Insurance now like it is the plague and even opting to pay a fine rather than buy Affordable Health Insurance for themselves /
Average moped/scooter insurance in for a 16 year old (UK)?
What would be the average insurance price be for a moped at 16? By the way I mean a 50cc engine. The was made in 2010 and as a guess I would say 200-350 to insure? Not looking for exact figures just someone with experience at insuring a moped at 16! Thanks!
16 years old can I get insurance ?
K so I'm 16 getting a 2002 BMW m3 how much will insurance be with just the cheapest I can get how much will insurance be ??? 10 points
My friend got in a car accident he only had a permit did not have car insurance what will happen im court?
He went and hot his license an got car insurance now
What is a reasonable price for health insurance?
My employer is offering a group plan, but it doesn't seem affordable for me. $320/month to insure 3 people (2 parents and a child). That is a seriously huge chunk of my monthly income! Or 2 people cost $160/month. This is with a $250 individual deductible or $500 for family. Do I just have a skewed idea of what should be affordable? This is the first time I've been offered insurance through an employer. What does your health insurance cost you per month?""
How much will cost to insure a mustang gt. I'm 20 years old.?
I'm looking to buy a 94 mustang gt and I was wondering how much it would cost me under my father policy. I'm 20 years old, I'm a guy and I have a good driving record. What would be the range on how much it would cost me. Don't say a lot because I know it will obviously be a lot that's why I'm asking the question.""
Guaranteed Car Insurance?
I am having trouble finding car insurance because I am only eighteen, and my car is quite expensive. Does anyone know of an insurance site that will give you insurance no matter the conditions? I am willing to pay any amount to get comprehensive cover.""
Tip cheap car insurance quotes in illinois
Tip cheap car insurance quotes in illinois
Which rental car company has the lowest insurance prices (LDW)?
Which rental car company has the lowest insurance prices (LDW)?
""In california, what auto insurance options are must haves?""
hey i was just checking out the auto insurance rates (i am from california) i know that bodily injury liabilty, property damage liabitiy, and uninsured motorist are must haves in californa... what else?? i was reading the definition of the auto insurance optional coverages and got a little confused, for example: Property Damage Liability - Mandatory Coverage This coverage protects you against financial loss when your vehicle damages another person's property, such as their vehicle, if you are legally liable. vs. Collision - Optional Coverage This coverage provides protection for loss or damage to your vehicle caused by upset or collision with another vehicle or object. It pays the lesser amount of either the actual value of your vehicle or the amount of each loss, in excess of your selected deductible. i was always under the impression that once you have property damage liability and your car got into an accident, it's covered. can someone with some auto insurance experiece explain this for me please? do you think it's good thing to get both? any advices is appreciated thank you""
How much is it for car insurance for a 17 year old in long island new york?
my mom had a 2002 honda accord that she just bought a week ago and we need to get it insured but she doesnt have a permit or licence bc her permit has expired in the year of 2010 , so now what she wants to do is, get a car insurance under my name . im going to be 18 in early june . and i have my permit .""
Would a chevy impala ss cost more for insurance than a normal impala and how much more would it cost aproximat?
Would a chevy impala ss cost more for insurance than a normal impala and how much more would it cost aproximat?
Car insurance under mums/dads name.?
I've just passed my driving test and am really confused about how to go about getting insurance under my mums / dads names. The car would be under their name but i just want to be the main driver of it. My mum rang up tesco for a quote on how much it would be, but she said under my name and on my own insurance. So now she doesn't want to ring up coz it's on computer and the guy on the phone who she was talking to said it would be classed as fraud if she insured me under her name and she didn't drive it. :S This can't be right right? also my dad has 6 points on his license will this effect me if the car goes under his name then i get insured on his insurance? since his insurance went up when he told them he had points. i got a quote for 1934 for my own insurance as the car under my name. I just need the best way to get under my mums insurance. cheers :)""
""This is the time to renewal of my auto insurance, but do not want to continue the same company.?""
So I purchase a new policy from other company, but my previous insurance company sending me e-mail and mail me, that insurance gap will u cost and it might harm me financially. But as I already purchased new policy and will start as soon as previous one expire. so do I need to worry? ( is the current insurance company doing their job to aware me or they to threat me so I go back to them)""
Are these the ways to reduce my Car Insurance?
I found this article on ForbesAutos.com about best ways to reduce my car insurance. Is this true? http://www.forbesautos.com/advice/toptens/ten-ways-to-lower-your-car-insurance.html?partner=yahooa
Where can i get cheap individual health insurance in florida?
i'm under 65 and i'm not eligible for employee or medicaid insurances.
Health insurance?
sometimes insurance doesnt cover some medical things. my mom said that she knew a man who had cancer in his eye and his insurance wouldnt cover it because they said it was comestic. does it depend on the company? and usually what other things does health insurance not cover?
Help with car insurance?
im 17 and im buying a car but with the insurance i want to use you have to be 18 to et up a direct debit so i done a quote where my mum is the policy holder and im the main driver and my mum is a named drive am i allowed to do this and whos name would the car have to be in thanks for any help in advance
Insurance settlement following motorcycle accident - GA?
The accident was ruled the other driver's fault. I had three pelvic fractures, dislocated tailbone, and fractured elbow. My health ins isn't paying, but the med bills have been reduced to the negotiated rate that my ins would normally pay. So my TOTAL OWED is about 2/3's of the initial total. Since pain & suffering is based on med bills times a multiplier, which amount will the ins co use? The larger total or the negotiated total? An attorney told me that this hospital is notorious for requesting the rest of the owed amount after the settlement has been reached, so obviously, I want the most money that I can get (and 13 weeks missed work!) Thanks""
How much is my health/car insurance going to be?
i am a 18 year old girl in california. ive never gotten a ticket or pulled over and i drive a 2010 ford fusion se(4 cyllinder) with all the safety features it offers. i dont think i have bad credit because all i have is a debit card that is attached to my parents accounts and they deposit money in it when i need it. so if i try to go over my limit it doesnt let me. we have triple a insurance and our bank is wells fargo. i dont know if having a job changes the price but ive had 2 other jobs and am currently employed in a new one. ive never been fired only laid off once because i was a seasonal worker and i quit another for not enough hours. all 3 jobs are retail jobs not making more than 9 dollars an hour. also i am a full time student with 12 units in a community college. My parents have basically perfect credit, both of them. does anyone know how much it will be for both health and car insurance if i start paying?""
""On March 1, a business paid $3,600 for a twelve month liability insurance?""
On March 1, a business paid $3,600 for a twelve month liability insurance policy. On April 1 the same business entered into a two-year rental contract for equipment at a total cost of $18,000. Determine the following amounts: (2 pts. each answer) (a) insurance expense for the month of March (b) prepaid insurance as of March 31 (c) equipment rent expense for the month of April (d) prepaid equipment rental as of April 30""
How long does it take a car insurance company to fix your car?
I was in an accident dec 27 2013 the ladys insurance called me that same day of the accident and told me they would have full liability of the car damages to my parents car so i told them ok and she gave me the the claim number and then she said she would call my mom because the iinsurance isunder her name im 17 by the way...and then they nevr called my mom That day.they have usaa insurance and we have all insurance
Insurance and std testing?
A friend told me my previous partner was shady and shared needles, etc... so, now I want to get tested for everything as soon as possible. I was going to go to planned parenthood. But im also considering just going to my doctor since I need a physical anyways or even my gynecologist.. Aetna is my insurance. Which way would be more affordable? Would it be roughly the same for all 3? Would they cover more as part of a physical? Seperate? At all?""
Insurance price?
does anyone have an idea of how much insurance would be for me to purchase a new wrx sti? age 24, pittsburgh PA, clean record...any rough estimates?""
16 year old male car insurance?
I am currently 15 and going to be 16 and getting my license . I am going to be driving a 1997 chevrolet corvette. Ik this is going to be exspensive but my parents are going to help alot. I was wondering about how much i would be paying?
Life insurance is not a investment?
LIfe insurance is a investment tool Is it worth it? It's a great investment tool. Not married, no kids? What's the POINT of the life insurance?""
Life insurance maturity after 7 years?
I have a case where an insurance company will owes xxx amount of dollar after 7 years because the life insurance claim made to a person is missing. Insurance company won't pay till this person is certified dead which in state of IL wait for that is 7 years. So the question is when this person do gets paid will the insurance company pay it 7 years interest on it? + the premium that is paid for the next 7 years after the claim is made.
Will my car insurance go up drastically when I buy a new car?
I am looking to buy a new Honda, Accord in a few months and I was wondering how much my insurance will go up seeing how I am 18. Someone said it would be $3000 more a year so please help!!!!""
Car insurance - Can anyone help?
We have company cars and Ive just told my manager that I would rather go in my car than the company car in this weather. She has just told me that its okay if I use my car because if I did have an accident, the company would claim on their insurance. How true is this? As she has lied to me before so i dont trust her. She told me that i could claim expenses and then once i put the form in, she said i couldnt so anything she says i dont believe.""
How much will car insurance be for a teen driver?
I know that there could be no true answer here but I want to know a range. Factors: 4.1 GPA student 16 year old male. California residence 2007 Honda Civic Took drivers ED Asian (if that matters, haha) My parents have a HIGH credit score. I'm going to be added in to my parents insurance plan. My dad is paying around 50 dollars for full coverage on the 2007 Honda civic right now (passing it on to me)""
""My father's health insurance was inadvertently cut-off, can I add him on to my health insurance plan?""
My father's health insurance was inadvertently cut-off, can I add him on to my health insurance plan?""
Auto insurance In australia?
im moving over to aussie soon im thinking of getting a 2nd hand car. i have been driving for 10 odd years. am 33 yrs i want to know how much does it cost for auto insurance in aussie(melbourne). any brands you would recommend? here in singapore we pay ard $1030 for driving many years and WITHOUT any accidents. if your in accident and its our fault they reset the amount back to 1300-1500 per year pls advice.
""I have experience working in the health insurance industry, now im wondering what job I could apply for?
I worked as a medical case manager at an insurance company. We were a 3rd party company. I did phone interviews with people applying for individual insurance for several ...show more
Tip cheap car insurance quotes in illinois
Tip cheap car insurance quotes in illinois
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