#[ idk if its venting or nah ]
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i AM a violent dog i DO know why i bite
#ok to rb#vent in the tags its a lot u dont have to read#nah but ive been so angry lately#im constantly fighting w my mom and brother but...like im justified every single time#its just like...ive always been the scapegoat of my family (except to my dad) but now hes dead and my mom n brother have been targeting me+#nonstop. literally 24/7#for example my mom has not bothered to check on me ONCE since it happened...yet shes constantly treating me like a therapist +#and she always comforts/checks in on my older brother AND she critcizes me for how im handling things or how 'long' everythings taking#all the while they dont lift a fucking FINGER to help me with anything and im doing everythings on my own#while going to school and working full time....to pay THEIR BILLS#idk it just feels like im so fucking alone and yet they just continue to rag on me when im literally doing my fucking best#im not allowed to greive bc im too busy doing their fucking work all while they criticize how i do their work...FOR THEM....#god forbid im not as talkative as usual bc im stressed (i wonder why) and im the worst person on the planet#literally i will b sitting in silence in my room and theyll find something to make fun of me for or get mad at
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sorry abt the complaining tonight i have a headache and ibuprofen did jack shit so im like a little irritable
#also had random heart palpitations or smth? idk it was weird shits been weird#also i need therapy shits been super fucking rough#which is sad bc its almost my birthday cant this be the time of year when shit goes well??#but instead its like nah my moms dying my managers at work are being fucking weird and i keep finding new ways to lose more hope than#thought that i had#so yeah i will be complaining abt shit that just annoys me bc everything else is just fucking sad#vent#sigh
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one really cool and sexy thing about me is that i base my self worth on what other people think of me and always assume myself to be inherently intolerable unless someone states otherwise. if i am not always providing then my presence takes, regardless of my intentions or efforts. if a room doesnt laugh at my joke i immediately accept that im unloveable and undesirable
#love is an exception that is always conditional#snarling#rejection sensitive dysphoria#probably#idk motherfuckers stopped diagnosing me anymore#theyre just like#yeah its prolly part of ur autism idk#said that about my ocd!!! and my derealization!!#like 'yeah no its just a part of ur asd or something im not gonna worry about a formal diagnosis'#and this is why psychologists dont take me seriously when i say i am genuinely struggling#like yeah noooo delusions and obsessions and compulsions?? nah ur just tidy bc ur autistic#cw medical#cw vent
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suitcases man / vent
my sister came back from uni and moved back into her and i's room - which for the past 4-ish years has been mostly just /my/ room with her bed still in it for when she came over on holidays or moving between the uni years - and that meant she brought all her stuff with her and I had to move my stuff to make space.
I didn't realize it also meant moving my clothes and where i put them; like the suitcase I keep under her bed specifically at the far left end of it placed so I can pull it out, zip it open and take out the only 3 items that are in that suitcase, my black skater skirt, those black ankle socks I brought to kosov and never wore so keep there just incase, and that one corset top that came a day late than when I needed it.
When my dad helped her put her suitcases under her bed, they initially had to take out /my/ suitcase to make space for it then when they realized they had extra space, put my suitcase back in. In the far right side of the bed.
When my dad left I immediately went to it and fixed it and corrected it and my sister was looking at me weirdly "you're acting kinda ocd" "this is very ocd of you" and it annoyed me a lot because it was only recently that I've been comfortable with saying I have ADHD and she knew this and I thought the suitcase thing was another me or ADHD or both thing, so her naming it as something else just. it annoyed me. because I thought I finally had a kind of guide as to what certain things were and why. then in comes this whole new term id never considered that i now have to give a guest room in my head cuz now its circling in my thoughts a little in the back of my mind.
idk man just like, knowing what kind of neurodivergent u are is so fucking tough sometimes man, like why cant it be like the sorting hat or smn and it just tells u
#just sick of this imposter syndrome im having with my adhd#like? im sick of second doubting everytime i gain a new level of confidence in my symptoms and self diagnosis.#i cant wait ~2 years for cahms to call me and say “hey u were right it IS adhd gj champ” and just let myself sit in puzzled confusion like#i KNOW it's not good to self diagnose without proper research#but ive tried. ive tried to do the research i can without becoming obsessed and self fulfilling and spiraling too much.#and i cant just sit back while ppl r like “you do this that this this and that. wtf r u.”#and i have to be like “idk i cant tell u bcs tiktok told me im hellspawn and ablist if i try find out”#nah fuck that#fuck ppl who try and have that mindset abt people who KNOW they have something and NEED to know because if they dont they will scream#bcs man i WANT TO SCREAM EVERY DAYY and i have a BIG OL HUNK abt what I have.#and its a FUCKING SUITCASE. ITS A SUITCASE. AND ITS A GIANT LAWN CHAIR WITH ALL MY CLOTHES ON IT.#because I cant put it in the boxes my mum got me or else i will have a panic attack because its not right and i will cry and bawl again#ok im done#vixen speaks#juup talks#juupitrr talks#vent#personal vent#adhd vent#sorry lol#btw i dont have anything against my sister. these are just my feelings.
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I miss nature so much. I miss being a field biologist, but then I remember all those ''professionals'' who back stabbed me and left me for dead...
I need to find a way to do my own projects without having to deal with toxic scientists. It is possible but, man, how annoying is that my country, the second most biodiverse in the world, each inch of land belogs to someone so you can not touch grass without having to ask for permission to at least 2 people, and then help form 3-5 scientists ugh.
Long story short, I want to deal with nature, not people, but unfurtunately, people own nature.
#I little bit of vent#I like my office job I really do#But I really need to hug a tree and then ID its species before I become like... Idk... The rest of the people#For those on the Internet who take everything literally#''left me for dead'' I mean they think Im not going to return to the botánic field anymore... But nah I can not abandon that pice of myself
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ouugh I posted 2 of my edits on tiktok but then they actually got attention and I got nervous and privated them 🤡 🤡 🤡 wkejskjskd
#i was like wait. nvm. i absolutely dont want these to be seen outside of tumblr byeeeeee!!!!#also i havent used tiktok in like 7 or 8 months and its probably best for me to stay off of it in any context#i was thinking it would be cool to have an edits account like i did on vine and insta back in hs but. no. immediate mind change LOL#doing it back then and getting likes/ comments was fun but now im just like nah im making these 100% for self indulgence and#i realized i absolutely want to keep it that way#posting them on here just feels SAFE like you all UNDERSTAND!! idk how to describe it LOL#random vent but i guess i just felt a bit silly and wanted to get my thoughts out 😅😅😅#caitiechat
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teehee :3c
#forgive me it was 12 am when i saw the ask and i guess i was rlly tired and eepy already#sorry to anyone who saw my midnight vent abt some anon i probably shouldve just deleted it and go to sleep ;;#but i wanted to set boundaries that my shitpost got nothin to do with any canon bs and that im just some guy with a batman pfp who make art#and thank you to the people who left me messages it does make me feel kinda bad abt venting but nah its cheering me up actually#sorry if i dont reply im dont know what to reply im just glad that you guys enjoy my shit and are here to support me im grateful#and ily all <3#ask box is still open but please please be nice or idk be silly? just dont be mean and an ass#ive made a post abt this before already and its regarding proshippers and mean asks. dont be a creep dont be a jerk block me if you can#it aint that hard#button's right there#set boundaries for yourselves too man idk who you are or what ur into#i dont like you then im ignoring ur ass and blocking u. you should try it instead of sending weird and mean shit#anyways bye#enjoy this long ass tag lol
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pmsing is HELL ive had multiple full on shaking sobbing breakdowns over the tinest things like it just hits me at all at once im angry for no reason and im going to be in a horrific depressive episode until my period, i hate late periods because it just means it lasts longer, i feel like im going insane going feral hate it here
#there suicidal and then theres pmsing suicidal it hits different its so much worse#its so terrifying as well i hate it and i hate that ill always have this until menoporse or wtf its spelt#like i just gave up on recovery because it never mattered how well i did it always all came crashing down before my period and id be back#at 0t#this was lighthearted but now im serious im just so tired of this its like#usual depressive episodes are bad enough#but this just feels worse to me because i know itll happen no matter what#and i feel honestly crazy if i talked about how i felt i think people would think im insane#:((((#im so sad let me vent here its my tumblr#nah ill regret this LMAO#i always make some boohoo sad post at this time and then a week later i cringe when i remember it i should make like an anonymous account s#not on tumblr#idk where#oh i used to have a private instagram when i was young lol#om remember finstas?#does anyone have them anymore idk
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This trend on tik tok set to that Taylor Swift song of girls saying the stuff they did to get their current partner to talk to them and now they're married or w/e I'm just like. Hey besties idk how to break this to you but the only reason ur daily insta stories worked is cause he already liked you 💕 if that shit worked I would have a boyfriend cause I've been trying to pull that off for almost a decade
#and this is the ones where they arent just STRAIGHT UP admitting to actual stalking#anyways this trend is pissing me off cause its making me feel real bitter about not being loved romantically#maybe its a me problem idk#and i know its all /hj goofy but like#nah girl ur just blonde and conventionally attractive 💕#not yr#personal#vent
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I always feel weird when I accidentally absent-mindedly say "oh shit I forgot to eat today" and then my friends get all worried and offer to buy me food. like, dont get me wrong, I feel cared about and I get warm fuzzies, but like,,, I get all embarrassed that they feel like they have to take care of me so I don't deteriorate
#I know i can take care of myself i just... have a hard time#and i dont want to feel like im a leech#but i know that my eating disorder can get outta hand REAL quick#...and i feel like im asking for attention in the worst way possible. even though its accidental#but like. my friend was like 'i know you just had a snack but i can buy you some more substantial food'#and i was like nah its ok#and he was like '... ok fine. but only bc i only have $4 in checking' LIKE DUDE#i feel like it doesnt matter that much!!!!! its not worth it!!!!!!!#hhhh i wish eating wasnt so hard.... my friends wouldnt haveta offer their few resources ;;#idk. idk.#milo.txt#vent#vent tw#eating disorder tw#tw ed vent#.....at least people really really do care about me. thats nice.
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owhhh okay i think i'm p tired ... gn in advance y'all
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#tired not as in Sleepy i mean the other Tired but i'll be fine TvT#anyways aaa ebg ends soon !! like a day or two !! so uh :squints: to all those who have sabotaged me ily very very much and really#appreciate it sm TvT LIKE HELRPWJDJSJ ik i shld feel :(( <//3 yes but also knowing i was actually like. y'all make the game fun ... TvT#yes yes so uhhhhhh help im heating up IDHSIWJEKS (shy)#OKAY so to sam & lune esp bcs damn y'all hate me fr 💔 /nm n ofc cal lettē n that 1 anon im p sure is anoushka (embarrassed if im wrong but#yes <3 IDHSIDNS) tyvm friends TvT aaaaaaa ebg isnt over yet but im feelin a lil ack these days ehehhehehdhehdh so yeah#i feel like i havent rlly gotten much sabotages compared to my fellow mutuals who r playing JDUEWHIJWJS so ya just a rlly HUGE ty to u guys#it means a lot to me even if it prolly seems like smth small >< ✨ aaaaeeeeee#i prolly won't send sabotages as much anymore tho bcs i'm feeling tired now TvT wont elaborate but yes WHEEZEHWRWIDJSOSKAOSPAJDKANSOAO#nah idk maybe im just overhtinking again or wtvr i dunno man but just not feeling it rn again brrrrrrrrr#ill head to sleep b4 3 am !! yesterday was b4 5 so now will be b4 3 hopefully ehe#please Do Not perceive this post /nf /lh ODBWIDNWKDJSK now goodbye B)#dw later today when its actually proper morning or afternoon im sure ill be fine again B)) always am#tw vent ish#i hate feeling this way brrr i always try to focus on the good positive and happy but#yeah :')#if i start distancing myself again rirhwiwhdiehkde i'll most likely be fine so no need to worry at all abt me or wtvr ^^#i doubt anyonr will even see or read this post (?) but if u need pls know i rlly genuinely do appreciate it jdhsjd ilysm aha :') 💖#TvT i just bottle my feelings up a lot okay ORHRIEHEIEHKAJS and i feel like ive been doing that again for quite a long time so im just#kinda breaking rn again :') ill really be okay soon tho for sure 🫶🏼#tw vent#im like 90% sure no one will even notice this so its fine if i just post this ya rhe
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i fucking hate being the only one with any initiative to meet in my friend group, because that forces me to actually plan where and when to meet and when i had everything perfectly planned, a whole day planned around the meeting, i woke up at 6am today to what? messages that one of them isn't able to make it today, despite us planning this for like a month, with specifics planned for like a week. god fucking dammit.
#vent/rant#it happened last year too#with the other one#we planned to meet for a week and then a day before the scheduled date they message us in the group chat#that they are not going out with us the next day because they dont feel like it#i hate planning anything with them so much#like god fucking dammit#ik its a different case this time bc alex got sick#but like he gets sick every two weeks i think its about time to go to a fucking doctor or something???#idk about yall but if i threw up and had stomach aches constantly and got cold from literally nothing i would go to a doctor????#'nah im good' my brother in christ you have six different vitamin deficiencies and get a vomiting fit every week
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AITA for calling my friend annoying?
My friend group and I (15NB) all met on twitter, specifically on anitwt for a specific fandom. Won't name it, but it's super popular, anyway, I really like the main character and I make lots of edits of him that I would post on twitter or just rt art of him I like. I made a few oomfs who liked my edits and we soon became friends :]
tho one of our mutual friends has a delusional attachment to the main character, which I don't mind at all, but the problem is that whenever I post my edits, he (16M) ALWAYS comments something along the lines of "Oh 😳", "I didn't know you felt that way about me", "Did you edge to me while making this", "this is my roman empire <3" and other stuff. It was funny the first few times, but it's become very annoying now and I can't stand to see his replies under my edits. I muted him but even then I know he's still saying that since he says the same comments in my tiktok comments too when I post my edits there.
I know he doesn't control the delusion but it's still annoying he keeps talking about the character as if like I'm personally in love with him when i just like the character, i've gotten sick of it. I vented about it on my priv, I did not say any names but I did say "its fucking annoying getting the same annoying comments from the same person as if im in love w them and yknow not the actual fucking character 🥸🥸". It was all on my priv but I'm pretty sure someone saw the tweet and guessed it was him, since it got leaked with him having a screenshot of it (Ive since deleted it).
He called me ableist and told me it's not his fault he's attached to the character and I should be ashamed for calling someone with a DA annoying for what they can't control and insuiating that they are not the character. I made tweet out of anger which is why I made it on priv but I get now I shouldn't have said that. What I had meant is that I find it really annoying when he makes every comment or post of mine about the character to be about him like I'm flirting with him. I know he's the character but like also not??? Idk how to explain and I'm sorry if it was ableist and still ableist of how I'm explaining it, I just don't want every post of mine to be taken as flirts when I just like the character. (im a lesbian anyway so if that helps).
I made a apology on my main, removed my oomfs who didn't want to be oomfs anymore and deactivated my accounts. I still have time to reactivate them but I don't know if its worth it. I still really like the character but idk if I want to do that all again. I'm just thinking about making a new edit account for a new fandom and moving on, but at the very least I just want to know if I was the TA in this
What are these acronyms?
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Hai :3 do u have any wacky wild michael hcs
oh do i!
both adult and teen. loser has been on my mind again.
He gets super fucking cold for no reason and blamed it on ghosts until after fnaf 6 where he brought it up as a joke and the ghost kids were like "...none of us did that" and now he's convinced theres a whole extra ghost after him. (it was cc he didnt mean to initially but cassidy thought it was funny)
He talked to the animatronics all the fuckin time. like he just. chatted with them. especially the fnaf 2 ones. charlie had to sit there and watch him talk to actual robots thinking they were kids. they werent and she told him that in fnaf 6 because she found it so fucking funny
clumsy as HELL i know that man was banging his knee in the SL vents and swearing under his breath
teen mike was also clumsy. probably split his lip on concrete all the time as a kid.
he was also the kinda kid to say "nah, check this out!!" and wake up in the hospital
this is a gross one but. he dealt with bugs a lot post scoop (especially. flies. and what comes with them. iykyk). he'd come into work on mondays smelling like a can of bug repellant. you wont believe what he showers with instead of water.
He was williams least favorite but they had a weird relationship between him moving out and elizabeths death. like some days william despised him and michael just wanted to blow them both up with his mind and some days he comes home like "Hey mike whats up want some pizza for dinner tonight?" and michaels like "fuck yeah why not."
he's henrys favorite afton as a teen and he knows it. and he uses it. Henry fuckin loved that kid he had the man wrapped around his finger. William also notices it and he gets mad at henry over it.
in relation to that, henry was really gentle with michael which was. not helpful im sorry 😭
mike sleeps pretty casually. hes not a light sleeper but not a deep sleeper. unless hes tired. if he hasnt been getting enough sleep youll know because he sleeps like a ROCK.
he fucking loves italian food. for no reason. he just does
he unironically eats beans on toast. He tried it as a joke and then just. never stopped.
he still has his foxy mask it just doesnt fit him. he tries it on again and it hurts his head
cannot afford to go out to eat often and GOD does he complain about it. he is SO FUCKING LOUD when he complains about it. he wants his takeout man
Loves animals but they hate him. A crow tried to take a bite out of him post scoop once nad he had to fight for his life. bro saw his family for a moment there
he is so polite most of the time but if you talk to him after his shift he'll fuck you up. rudest bitch on the block and he was an asshole teen so he knows how to run his mouth
he plays solitaire.
does not know about the context but whenever hes depressed he says "tomorrow is another day" because time moves on anyways!!!! also idk i think its neat
he ate shit in the middle of his shift once and bashed his face on one of the counters and his coworker found the blood the next day and managed to start a rumor that someone died there until michael came in to work with his face bandaged up.
these are so rambly but funny so im gonna keep going
skateboards <3 totally tried to show off and ate shit until william told him if he went to the hospital again he'd take the skateboard. he still ate shit. just hid it better.
taught evan to do a lot. If he didnt feel like bullying him (for an array of reasons, but the biggest is just. boredom. or loneliness. or a mix) he'd teach him something just because he could. skipping rocks, flying a kite. michael doesnt remember it very well but evan does
cassidy kicked him in the knee so hard he was limping for an hour and so he found the golden freddy suit and kicked it too at one point. she didnt feel it tho. and jumpscared him out of spite.
he loves dogs and once brought evan to see one because his friends were busy and he hates being alone and the dog bit the shit out of evan. foreshadowing.
oh yeah i totally think he gets lonely btw. do not leave that guy alone he will get very sad and pathetic!!!
im capping myself here because jesus christ.
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BATMAN AND ROBIN 2023 #1 (Take 6 (yes))
(im not writing this as i go since ive already read the issue before. ill also be mentioning gotham war since this takes place during it (just a warning for spoilers!))
i just noticed the bat and robin on the cover! so cute
OH........(just noticed this too) that doesn't look good
look at them goofing off n having fun
this is cute but the way bruce acts here and in gotham war is so jarring its kinda funny
bruce in batman #137: can't stand my fake ass family
bruce in b&r: me and my son damian 🤗
bruce is in his "local dilf in the area" era rn
damian having talia's mannerism that bruce noticed is so <3
and here its confirmed that this takes place during gotham war. not sure how to feel about that
STILL INSANE OVER THIS baby first self insert fanfic
damian went from drawing hyper realistic gore vent art to anime eyes in the corner
i think it'd be fun if we see damian write more as the story goes on. like him daydreaming n doodling in class
wonder if theres any meaning with damian putting talia as a hero n bruce as a criminal here...or maybe its just a "totally original character do not steal" thing
you dont say bruce 🙄
"the last few years"?? pretty sure the events shown there all happened not even in 2 years since damian turned 14 around the start of the lazarus tournament
also why are alfred n talia not shown there? alfred's death has huge impact on damian (he literally hallucinated him) n talia was there as much as ra's
i dont like how damian looks here but that white connor should be a crime
"thats enough emotions for tonight father" [slams door]
i wonder why damian is staying with bruce tho (outside of making this book exist) didn't bruce n talia had a custody battle moment™ n damian's like "nah i have my own life (is literally 14)"
HELL YEAH MY BOY CAN COOK
he's quoting alfred ohhh im gonna sob
this is kinda embarrassing for bruce...like ur son is finally living with you again n he's the one up early cooking?? sir u better step up
aw he's making tea the way alfred did
*squints* did bruce get his hand back? thats a pretty normal looking hand to me
did damian's comment on it in batman #137 made bruce think "shit i cant give damian any ideas of getting a robot hand" n he just. magically grow it back
[GLASS SHATTERING SOUND]
gotham...heights? n. not gotham academy? no maps? no damian joining her dnd team?? no detective club finally hanging out with damian??
ik damian got expelled from gotham academy BUT. WHY
okay? whats the point if he's not going to the same school that his friend went to?
interesting how damian fantasize for a normal life in robin 2021 (with him liking the mundanity of shoujo manga) n now that bruce is offering him that he's rejecting it (or maybe he just rly don't like school which is. fair enough)
wellll just cuz we're not getting maps n the detective club doesn't mean damian's other friends arent showing up right? RIGHT? (maya plz come home)
THE ROBIN MOBILEEE it looks so ridiculous i love it
HOLD ON. DOES THIS CAR HAVE NO SEAT BELTS?? BRUCE UR LETTING THIS SLIDE?
ik that thing is rly loud too damian waking up the whole neighborhood here
not rumors abt the batfam fighting getting spread around?? this is so embarrassing omg
am i the only one getting gotham academy flashbacks here? with killer croc n the trio with the fox shark n bird masks
they're very comfortable with calling eachother father n son while in suits huh. ig everyone in gotham knows that batman is a dilf (who's beefing with his adult children) now
not much to say abt the rest: bruce got shot with something n now bats are attacking him
end thoughts: i hope with all the focus on animals here means that we're getting damian's pets back soon n that gotham war wont affect this book much since i rly want to see damian interact with his siblings again. also is it just me or does the day scenes looks very bright? saturated? it kinda hurts for me to read idk. the night scenes r pretty tho
next issue is damian's first day on his new school that is not gotham academy but im still excited for it! (coping)
bonus bestie corner
#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batman and robin 2023#FINALLY tumblr keeps posting it while im editing it but its done yippee#this is inspired by makeste bnh/a liveblogs! i remember how much fun it was reading them that i wanna try it with b&r#tho i dont think i could ever write as much for a single issue...#still figuring out how i want to do this
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hiiii just a widdle vent <3 i'll be normal in like an hour or so
so ive been in kind of a super depressive era for like. over a month now? eden has too and hers is kinda worse than mine. but still
i got the idea to maybe like...idk. apply to idw to work on the sonic comics. i know it may sound silly bc ive not got Any experience doing professional comic work, ive only done personal comics since like 2015 and none of them were sonic--in fact i only recently started drawing sonic seriously, and it may end up being a spur-of-the-moment hyperfixation. but right now i feel really passionate and am in the process of making a fancomic that May be over 100 pages if it works out the way i think it will..so idk. you miss every shot you dont take i guess??
but anyway. i just feel really silly about it. for a long time i was like "nah i would never do comics professionally" and suddenly i want to do just that??? like girl what. idk. ive been feeling really sad about it specifically lately too, like man what if i really am not good enough. what if i get rejected and thats it for my comic career. what if i do get the job and i hate it or i stop enjoying sonic to the point of where i want to work on the idw comics. theres so much doubt in my mind and idk if its legit or if its just nervousness at the thought of a new life adventure..
wagh. i simply do not know
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