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beanghostprincess · 6 months

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it wouldn't surprise me that, despite sanji being the literal cook of the crew, he had an eating disorder (ofc trigger warning here for eds, child abuse, starvation and, y'know, sanji's background in general).

he experienced the most traumatic years of his life trapped inside a fucking cell, with a metal helmet around his head and only eating when his father let him. which was 'only when the kid needs it', probably. which leads to judge saying 'i couldn't even kill my son' and it can translate to 'at least i kept you alive'. and not to turn this into irl trauma, but abusive parents constantly use the 'keeping you alive and giving you food' excuse (the bare fucking minimum) to guilt trip you into thinking that they're good and that you're exaggerating how bad they treated you because, well, at least they kept you alive, didn't they?

so here, sanji sees food as a form of loving but in the sense of 'at least my dad didn't kill me. that's something'. so his vision towards food remains positive but only because of his mom. only because his love language is acts of service and his mom took everything he gave her, even if it was horrific, as a way of saying 'i love all of you. you're perfect because you tried and the fact that you brought me your food is enough to make me feel loved. you're not a mistake' despite his brothers and his father saying that he was, indeed, a mistake and weak for wanting to give food to others instead of just taking it for himself.

both ideas of 'someone who loves you wouldn't let you starve' and 'offering food to others is opening up your heart' coexist inside little sanji's brain.

so it wouldn't be crazy to think that, although sanji loves cooking and his best early memories of it are that book that kept him dreaming while he was locked up, and his mom's words, has a hard time eating food.

besides, sanji is used to giving, not taking. he's not selfish, but actually extremely generous to the point of forgetting about his own well-being. i don't think he actually thinks about how hungry he is until it hurts. until he needs it. he only ate whenever his father let him so he wouldn't starve, and the only thing that made him feel well about food was the fact that he could give it to the one he loved and needed it.

sanji doesn't have good experiences eating food, but only cooking it. it's a great representation of his personality as a whole, to be honest.

then the whole zeff thing happens, and he actually almost starves to death and learns what hunger feels like. but once again, zeff saves him and he's the one to be hungry for not letting the kid starve. which might seem similar to what judge did, but 'not letting you starve because i couldn't kill you' isn't the same as 'not letting you starve because i don't want you to die'. sanji learns the difference that day.

he didn't know somebody could be that kind. especially to him, someone who doesn't deserve it (he thinks he doesn't) because, in his house, love only came when you earned it.

and, you know, sanji's like that. sanji's selfless. sanji does everything for others. and so the guilt eats him up first. what zeff did is beautiful and amazing and we love him for it, but we don't know about how that affected sanji at a young age. which only makes him even more selfless and more of a better, kinder, generous person. and that might be bad, considering how little he thinks about himself already-

he learns that throwing away food is awful, and that you have to be grateful for being able to eat. grateful for living. so his don't-waste-food policy is obviously a big part of his personality due to almost dying of starvation and also owing his life to his dad (zeff, the real one, of course. fuck judge).

but that can almost be dangerous because refusing to waste food leads to forcing yourself to eat only because of his concept of what food means.

and then we have luffy in wci saying the whole 'i won't eat anything that you haven't cooked' which is precious and something very beautiful to say to your cook, but that only brings sanji back to 'starving is a form of loving' and 'you can't let someone you love starve'. and no matter how much he wants to force himself to push luffy away, he gives him food because he knows his captain will keep his promise.

sanji feels guilty, once again, but he ends up fixing it.

the thing is, after everything i've said, i don't think it would be weird to think about sanji viewing food as something external. something that isn't for himself. something that he only has control over because it's for others and not for himself, and it's a concept, a form of love, and not a need. because he does not feel hungry. when it comes to food, he feels responsibility and guilt and love... but never hunger.

hunger is, by all means, a form of selfishness sanji isn't used to unless his body is about to give up completely. he can eat out of pleasure and satisfaction and love for food, but he does it to train a selfless skill that may or may not also be selfish in the sense of 'wanting to be loved and useful'.

so here we have:

seeing food as a form of love because at least his dad wouldn't let him die, but he probably learned to push away the concept of hunger

seeing cooking as the most beautiful way of showing your feelings and efforts and taking care of people

not knowing the concept of hunger due to his own selflessness

scratch the first one, actually starving for others is a form of loving. he will never let the people he loves starve even if it means he dies in the process.

he can't waste food because that would be insulting and disrespectful. no matter the context.

and i'm just saying (and this whole thing is extremely self-indulgent and me projecting again and again) that it wouldn't be surprising to me if he had some issues when it comes to eating and making food for himself.

it's not that he thinks he doesn't deserve food, it's just the thought that he doesn't need it. going back to his past it could be seeing hunger as a form of weakness (not when it comes to others. never when it comes to others), both because of what his family taught him men should be like, and the fact that the manliest man he knows used starvation as a form of love.

so it's seeing hunger as something that makes you weak, but only when it comes to himself because of course, he wouldn't apply the same rules for him as for everyone else. he's just like that.

he thinks about others first, and himself second. always second. and the thought of eating and needing it only comes when it's too much. and when that time comes, the voices in his head tell him that he's weak. and again, i don't think he sees himself as undeserving of food because he has this whole thing about everybody deserving to eat. but he has never played with the same rules as the rest, always a few steps behind, so if he can't fight the thoughts in his head contradicting his morals, that's just how he is.

not to mention the 'don't waste food' part which also would make him feel guilty about not being able to eat if the thoughts of not deserving food and being weak for needing to eat become too much. he can't eat because he doesn't deserve it and because he's weak. and he can't starve, because that would mean wasting food.

so, you know, sanji is out of options here.

if some days sanji just casually decides not to eat- forgets to prepare himself a meal while his crew enjoys his food... that's just the way he is, isn't it? and if he lies about it, it's just another form of love, keeping them away from his problems.

besides, controlling hunger and controlling food is the only way he has to take control of his messy life. when something is out of reach, the unstoppable thing called life he has never been able to control, at least he can choose not to eat. he can choose to starve, this time, with the comfort of knowing he won't. he can choose not to eat this time, not like all of those times when food was controlling him instead.

at least the strawhats will never, ever, starve if he's around. but of course, nobody thinks about asking the cook if he wants to eat. that would be absurd. and it's impossible to think sanji would have some sort of issue with it! sanji, the cook, who keeps telling them not to waste food, not eating? that would be absurd and too selfless to make sense.

that's just the way he is.

#this headcanon is literally just me projecting my shit onto sanji ngl #*holds sanji gently* you've changed my life darling i love you so much please take care of yourself #why's he such a good person and why do people always treat him like shit i am violent #i swear all of this makes sense in my head #like he's a person who's always taking control of the situation only bc he feels like he can't control what he's feeling #and yknow feeling is for the weak and men aren't weak and yadda yadda yadda fuck the vinsmokes #his eating disorder is also heavily connected to his views in gender but that's for another day #tw eating disorder #sanji #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #<- i hate this tag btw only using so it gets to more people bc i spent my time writing this ngl #red leg zeff #one piece #op

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hadesoftheladies · 15 days

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hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.

#mine #personal #brief storytime in the tags #one of my family friends got married and i was happy she was happy #her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me #i was happy to share that moment with them #we cried and laughed together #and my friends #their other daughters were on the line and looked gorgeous #it was just beautiful watching us all grow up in a way and move on to “the next” together #BUT #im a pastor's kid #and my dad loves weddings #he drinks them in whenever he can now especially because they make him happy and he's had to attend a lot more funerals this year #he's been burdened a lot by how many people he's had to bury and how many hospital visits he's had to do #so i was happy to see him happy too #it just all felt so bittersweet to me #because i know how badly my parents want this for me and for themselves #there was a daddy-daughters dance at some point and i could feel my dad beaming beside me watching that #and i was a little sad about it because i was like im never gonna give you that #this could be the best thing i could ever give you and i will never give you this #i can never kneel at an altar in front of a pastor and swallow that sermon #i would never marry a man in my generation #if i married a woman you and almost the entire tent filled with people that watched me grow up would not attend #my happiest day would be another funeral for you #it was worse because im kind of a small celebrity in this community because of my parents and their siblings who are politicians #so people i barely knew kept coming up and asking me when it would be my turn and how they so looked forward to the day #and i was like i love that we're a community here and i missed the pestering of aunts since i left church #but at the same time i was glad to remember why i left #there is no freedom to be myself at all with them because all they do is project their beliefs and ideas on me because that's what children

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possiblynya · 5 months

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When in doubt, redraw your dnd party as animal crossing characters (again) 🥳

#dnd #oc #dungeons and dragons #dnd character #artists on tumblr #dnd party #ttrpg #Acnh #Animal crossing #Did I draw the same exact thing with my other dnd party three years ago literally to the day?#Yes I did #But hey. I sorely needed a project w minimal creativity involved bc boy howdy I haven't been feeling making art #This is helping me feel a little bit confident again lol #I've been itching to draw another animatic but every time I try I feel like crying bc it just seems so overwhelming :')#Despite the fact that I've made ones in the past that I still think look great!!#Ugh idk it's just frustrating to know what I'm capable of and to still not feel like I can do it. Anyways. Maybe over Xmas break #Strixhaven gang #<- gonna start using that tag for these fellas #oc respite

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zmediaoutlet · 1 year

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happy wincest wednesday!! deanna ask<33. do you think anything about s6 happens differently in the het version? or maybe s9/10?

yayyyy happy wincest wednesday, a day Deanna gets to shine <3

I mean the first thing that I think is true is that Deanna is staying with uhh Mark, the hot dude she hooked up with way back when Sam was at Stanford, and Mark's got a kid from a failed relationship with a past woman and Deanna learns to make pretty good meatballs and stir fry and tomato rice soup from scratch when little Ben is sick, and it's actually a lot harder for her to leave than it was for Dean.

But Sam's back and she has to go -- has to, even if she tells Mark that it's just a quick hunt to help and she'll be back for Ben's soccer game on Saturday -- and the break-up with Mark happens a lot faster and is a LOT more painful than the one with Lisa because Sam talks his way into her panties on that very first solo hunt together, when they're alone after the Campbells go their own way, and in her life Deanna has never ever thought of herself as a cheater but it's -- Sam, and his mouth tastes the same and his hands are finally the right size on her jaw when he drags her in close and he's the right weight between her thighs, lying heavy on her hips, at last, after the last year (and more) of missing him. He rolls off the bed quick after but she hardly notices at first that something's off because the sheer relief is too much for her to notice anything else at all, and it's not until she's showering, after, that the random thought pops into her head that she was going to pick up a 24-pack of Gatorade for the kids before the game, and then she realizes that she's got to tell Mark. She's got to. It's not fair, otherwise.

When Cas finally reveals that Sam's soulless she doesn't beat him up -- physically can't, for one thing, especially not now that he's gone all greek god -- but she walks out of the room and gets into the car and knows that from Calumet City to Battle Creek where Mark and Ben are living now is two and a half hours, and two hours if she ignores traffic laws, and she thinks about it -- she thinks about walking in and hugging Ben and taking Mark into the bedroom that she'd barely started to unpack before the breakup and going to her knees and saying how sorry she was, and how she'd never meant to be this way, and could she come back, please, could she crawl back into their bed and have the good boring sex they had and could she try again to make his mom's recipe for cinnamon rolls and could she teach Ben how to repair a carburetor, and get it right this time, and raise a kid who wouldn't crack her heart in half, wouldn't make her want to lay down and never get up again for the sheer enormity of what loving him did to her. How impossible it was to exist under the weight of it.

Then she gets back out of the car and goes back up to where Cas is finishing up his examination of Sam and she tells Cas to leave the room and she tells Sam that they're done, until he gets fixed. "I feel fine," Sam says. "Nothing about this is fine," Deanna says, and his eyes skip from her eyes to her mouth to her tits and then he shrugs, turns away and puts his belt back on, like so what. Like, fine, he'd get it somewhere else and it didn't matter. Deanna goes outside to where Cas is awkwardly waiting and thinks that whoever did this, whoever bifurcated her brother and removed all the best parts of him, she will find that person and destroy them to the last atom, if it's the last thing she does. (Cas looks from her face to the door beyond which Sam's waiting, and disappears.)

#answers #happy wincest wednesday #girl!dean #deanna #?? what is my TAG that's another project for another day #anyway yes #deeper entrenchment with not!Lisa #deeper 'betrayal' by sam #cas is on thin fuckin ice lol #i wonder if deanna would actually fuck cas?#i still think no. although maybe in early s9...#it'd depend on whether she and sam were back together #either way: i maintain that very early seasons/preseries for sam/deanna is the raddest queasiest best option #makes every single part of them just... More

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arthur-r · 16 days

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as usual i am up late into the night planning my future when i should be: getting a good nights sleep so that i even have a future!!

#i have work in seven and a half hours. so i should really be getting to bed #BUT i officially made my final definitive degree plan!!!! i mean not the actual classes but all the requirements i have to meet and how!!#(in order to earn: history and information science double major. with certificates in material culture and classics)#and i’m genuinely excited for every single class i have to take except for human-computer interaction #just cause i know it’s gonna get overly technical in ways that won’t quite apply to my future #anyway every single other thing i’m gonna do is very cool and exciting. so everything is good really #but i should be sleeping. and i’m not. as usual 🤧#idk wish me luck!!!! i’m so hyped about my degree plan though #i’ll go into more detail another time. i’m very excited #ANYWAY goodnight!!!! can’t be so busy planning my future in library science that i DONT GO TO MY SHELVING JOB #kind of important to actually go to work for the library that employs me….#and then i might go see a first-printing roget’s thesaurus!!!! or i’ll sleep. we’ll see #followed by lunch with GUY WHO IS THE WORST KILL HIM WITH HAMMERS #(there is nothing really wrong with me he just keeps kind of being mean to me and also expecting me to fall in love with him. but like #extremely passively and not manipulatively it’s just like. hey buddy you’re doing this friendship wrong….)#anyway then i have a class and after that i have an hour to rest. and then a phone call and then a lot of homework #(ten page paper draft due in a week and a half!! so it’s time to start writing the actual body of it)#and then i sleep for a LONG time and then work again on saturday. and then sleepover with somebody i have a crush on??#and then be normal all day on sunday and do a little more paper writing. and programming homework. and whatever else #and then keep up with the slog for three weeks!!!! and all of a sudden it’s summer!!!!#projects left this year: material culture paper (entirely unstarted. but may research the thesaurus and just win!!!!)#history project (draft due the monday after next and real paper due a week after classes end)#one more programming assignment where i adapt my recipe doubler project (probably. it’s getting stupid at this point but it’s what i got!!)#and a programming test in two weeks and then the final a week after that. then no more programming #and then i just have my weekly latin tests and a latin final on may 5th. and then EVERYTHING IS DONE #ok i got this. sorry for walking through my schedule in the tags it’s how i remember what’s real #can’t believe my fucking partner just kind of walked out on me there hello???? like. we should be powering through finals together #but i’m genuinely better off without him so i guess it’s just whatever. trash took itself out or something??#anyway. i’m so regular. and i have work in the morning. and i’m going to sleep #thank you world. goodnight

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friedmae · 26 days

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Wips I'm really excited about. They're coming to life!!! 💞💞💞

Bonus: Fangs 💞

#oc: august #oc: nicolas #sfm funsies #tf2 #tf2 medic #decided tumblr is best to share wips due to the tags navigation and so I don't clog up the discord I'm in lmao #I would post them on twitter but I'm not sure if the tags could be filtered well I mean what if someone comes and wants to skip the wips #I mean. I could post them on twitter too. I don't mind since I just really log in to post what I made and then log off until I make another #so it's really not a problem but I don't know if twitter is okay with wips since the tags navigation is kinda funky imo as said before #I guess I could see. I just want to share stuff tbh and this lets me air my thoughts about my next projects and talk about them freely #get all excited and giddy with people :) and show I'm alive too LMAO or else I barely do yearly works. I swear it's not on purpose #my brain just doesn't cooperate with focusing. or if it does I focus too much and my hand wrist and arm ends up hurting for days after

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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if i think bout ichi going to jiro kasuga's grave and arakawa accompanying him Maybe At Least Once i just might explode

#snap chats #hi everyone. coping with my reality. plus it is fathers day tomorrow #ill save all THAT rambling after The Real Meat alright lemme get that juice out the way #anyway no i was just having an idle thought with fathers day coming up #an i just thought of like. Just-Got-Here ichi wantin to see his Relatively-Recently-Deceased's dad's grave #maybe arakawa wanted to ask ichi to do somethin on X day and ichi visibly is just 😬#obvi he tries to brush it off like Oh Its Nothing Sir Haha :) but arakawa's A Dad.#and grew up with a troubled childhood alright he knows when someones hiding something so he encourages ichi to tell him the truth #such comes The Bean Spillin an ichi's just 'remember how i said my dad died yeah i wanted to visit him that day 👉👈 '#followed up by the obligatory backpedaling But Its Fine I Can Do Another Day ! No Worries ! etc etc #so pleaaasse cut to arakawa making a 'deal' with ichi in that he can go that day but only if he could tag along #ichi's a great kid it's worth visiting the guy who raised him right #im gonna throw up if arakawa just gets a Funny Feeling during their visit yk what i mean #he just feels Especially grateful for jiro and what he did for ichi- doesnt exactly know why maybe ichi really is just that good of a kiddo #im gona make myself throw UP oh my GOD. crying dying etc etc #if you see me write or draw anything after this no you dont #speaking of though Personal Ramble Time i knew i shouldnt have eaten until later this is my karma <- thats not how karma works #i try not to eat in the evening and the time i do unprompted BOOM mother's home. screaming crying yelling #i still had things i wanted to do upstairs too gdi now i gotta wait til monday or like. 2AM ☠️☠️☠️#ok thats all byyyyye im gonna cope with my cringe family situation with projection 👋

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pepprs · 2 years

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this week has been so fucking horrible. genuinely

#purrs #i think the roe v wade stuff like. Idk. everyone in my house is triggered by it everyone in the country is triggered by it and im not saying #TRIGGEREDDDD like how ppl will yank that word out and be cruel with it im saying it is triggering and putting even heavier weight on trauma #informed dynamics and shit that are already hard to bear. btw my mom told her story to a fucking cnn reporter and now im scared we’ll have a #anti aborti/on protestors at our house lmao. but anyway. everyone is triggered in my house right now. and now no one in my house has counsel #counseling. so when other shit happens outside of the house onto which i project dynamics that happen inside the house (everywhere.#constantly.) i am utterly unable to deal with them and the only thing i can focus on is trying to be quiet and not start sobbing #hysterically. which did just happen btw just not to me and i want to sob like that too. the weight of all this despair and the weight of #having nowhere to put the despair. not to mention redacted redacted redacted unrelated dynamic that ngl has made me a little bit sewerslidal #this week on multiple occasions. i always forget how bad summer is im always like yeah i can work with another clinical intern! and i don’t #regret it while it happens but then they leave and summer comes and redacted redacted dynamic happens THAT I THOUGHT WAS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN #AGAIN BUT ITS HAPPENING DESPITE MY FUCKING PROMOTION AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO *** UNIRONICALLY! happens and im like oh god. right. summer is #a nightmare. so what im trying to say is.. there is a lot going on all at once and it is hard to live a) at all b) in this house and i dont #know what to do about that except finish cleaning the dishes and try to find some nice work clothes and maybe collage if i have time. lole #abortion tw #pregnancy tw #suicide tw #delete later #ask to tag #like the e VISCERAL feeling of wanting to not exist. VISCERAL. ive felt that every day since this happened and im scared. lol #and again i love working with clinical interns and i love the place i go to for counseling it’s just the fucking 3 month hiatus (and the 1 w #week hiatus in february during one of the genuine lowest points of my entire life) is um….. very bad. i understand why they have to do it b #but it is not good and every time we’re in the final few weeks of sessions and my counselor asks if i’ll be ok imwlike yeah totally! school #will be out and i can do it! and then they go and things happen in the ways that things happen and im like oh right the agony. forgot about #that and forgot how it is so much worse to survive it without counseling! lole 🥰

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sysig · 2 years

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Honestly shocked that Jonathan Harker hasn’t been requested as a Friend Shape up to this point

#I don't know the guy but isn't he literally y'all ''Good Friend Jonathan Harker''??#I also don't know that I would be able to find a suitable visual representation of him so I'm just as fine either way lol #But I do think it's funny #Anyway time for a completely unrelated update post #I don't think this upcoming week is gonna get a TV Guide - although Vargas very nearly qualifies #I was thinking about making one that was literally just | Monday: Vargas | Tuesday: Vargas | Wednesday: Vargas | lol #If I'm able to finish whichever digital idea happens to come first then it really will make a week but I'm not holding my breath :P #Why is digital so hard >:0 #I am thinking about doing another stream tho - nothing fancy just a sketching and lining stream if it's a good art day #But last time was fun #I also - shock to everyone involved i.e. just me lol - somehow managed to bang out another ~1.5k of my DAX/ZEX fic #The ending is done! Surprise!#I got an unplanned alien detour that ended up very silly and I get to add a joke tag if/when I finish and post to AO3 lol #Which I now see as a VUX emoticon wearing is hat I am very SCII-poisoned lol ♪#I blame the prompt that popped into my head and literally every time I look at it I'm like ''Gods what an excellent idea''#I'll forget and then I'll pull it back up and be like ''So powerful.......so beautiful.............'' lol #If this all ends up being a side effect of the sun finally sticking in the sky for more than two minutes a day I will Laugh #I am very happy to have ideas and projects

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belinalp2 · 7 months

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#poll #original post #maybe i should come up with another tag for that like tem.txt #i've been learning to cook. mostly breakfast to get me motivated for the rest of the day #holy shit if y'all vote yes i can host polls on what my next baking project should be gahhfjshc

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starlightkun · 1 year

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🎶🛌

#gn yall!!#today again v weird and off day for me #again productive at work (had no work to do so i did personal projects lmao)#tw dissociation #for next tags:#but like also been having a tough time like being cool with my body not in a body image way but like in a not dissociating way??#its like chronic illness stuff and it is physically changing and i look in the mirror for too long and dont recognize myself #like its me but not in an almost uncanny valley sort of way #and also my body isnt doing what i want it to do either it just doesnt feel like me or mine #just weird bad day for me #tried to just do some thinking abt other stuff @ work and listen to some good music #thinking abt picking up another physical craft hobby to have smth to do w my hands outside of work that isnt outside or on my phone #i do still have my knitting stuff......#anyway gn gn!!!!#tomorrow is another day that i will get through just like everyday before it!#ignore.mel #tunes #not nct #🎶🛌#Spotify

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diordeer · 3 months

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౨ৎ HOW YOU GET THE GIRL

“i want you for worse or for better, i would wait for ever and ever, broke your heart, i'll put it back together, i would wait for ever and ever” - taylor swift (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, where they both star in taylor swift’s ‘how you get the girl’ music video (i accidentally made the bsf so bitchy so have fun with that)

description: we are doing our yearbook quotes… do u guys think “tell me your deepest fantasies: 8-12 hours of uninterrupted sleep” is okay?! or is it cringey bc this is STRESSING me out!!

requested by: anon 🫣

yn.ln just posted on their story

Seen by taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell and others

Direct Messages:

taylorswift: 😘😘

↳ yn.ln: love uuu!

user1: UMMM WHAT IS THIS?!

↳ yn.ln: idk 🤷‍♀️

user2: U AND MISS TAYLOR? GIRL WHAT IS HAPPENING

user3: ugh ur jacket is gorg

iamcharliebushnell: i cant wait!!

↳ yn.ln: im actually like about to combust

bsf: i still think ur lying about this

↳ yn.ln: i cant believe u would think that of me 😢

Liked by selena.gomez, ayoedebiri and others

taylorswift ‘how you get the girl’ (taylor’s version) music video out now!! with my lovely lovely cast yn ln and charlie bushnell 🩵🩵

tagged iamcharliebushnell, yn.ln

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yn.ln this was literally the funnest thing to film everrr!

↳ iamcharliebushnell i miss you!!

↳ yn.ln miss u too 😣😣

user1 GUYS WTH IM GOING CRAZY

selenagomez love u 😘😘 so proud!

user2 THE LONG AWAITED MV

user3 dare i say best music video so far

sabrinacarpenter another release another world record 😍

↳ yn.ln girls unreal

user4 I WANT U FOR WORSE OR FOR BETTER

↳ user2 I WOULD WAIT FOR EVER AND EVER!!

user5 CHARLIE AND YN AND TAYLOR?! I CANT.

↳ user6 my 3 fav people 🫣🫣

user7 im in love with director taylor era

gracieabrams aahhhhh!!!

user8 this music video gave my eyes ecstasy

user9 yn and charlie are so cute together 🥺

↳ user10 kinda ship them !!

Likes by gracieabrams, sabrinacarpenter and others

yn.ln i’ll open up the door and say are u insane?!?! (I love you so so much taylor thank you for letting me have anything to do with you, and being a part of this mv!!)

tagged taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell, selenagomez

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taylorswift i love our little gossip sessions

↳ yn.ln im always free for one 📞

↳ user2 what i would do for a gossip sesh with taylor

iamcharliebushnell its been a long six months 😢

↳ yn.ln it has and i must see u NOW

↳ user1 and u were too afraid to tell her what u want!!

user6 the editors having a field day with this one

bsf so u werent lying 🤨

↳ yn.ln i told u i wasnt 😣

↳ bsf ok well now u HAVE to let me meet taylor swift

↳ taylorswift 😉😉

user3 yn in the first pic!! 🩵

user4 and the hottest onscreen couple goes to 🏆

↳ user5 and offscreen!!

↳ user4 are they together?!?!

↳ user5 no… but did u see how they looked at eachover in the vid?? No acting can do that 🙏

user7 well now i need a romcom with these two ASAP

↳ yn.ln I WISH

Liked by walker.scobell, yn.ln and others

iamcharliebushnell thank you so much taylor swift for letting me be apart of this project! and thank you yn for being such a great partner to work with😋

tagged yn.ln, taylorswift

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yn.ln ugh i know we are unstoppable

↳ iamcharliebushnell so unstoppable i might do a backflip on stage

↳ yn.ln I BEG

↳ taylor.lautner 🤸

↳ yn.ln i love you taylor

taylorswift you are so so amazing!

user1 anyone else notice how everyone has posted the usual pics for the instagram posts but charlie is only posting him and yn together (and ofc taylor)

↳ user2 their chemistry a bit too good 🧐

↳ user3 IF THEY GOT TOGETHER I WOULD GO FERAL

leahsavajeffries OMG!

user4 taylor told u how to get the girl… you acted out how you get the girl… now you have to go get the girl!!!!

walker.scobell man gets cast as the villain in MY show and now HE gets the music video with his celeb crush 🙄

[this comment has been deleted]

↳ iamcharliebushnell walker…

↳ yn.ln 👀

dior.n.goodjohn WALKER HAS NO FILTER LMFAOOO

taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @highfidelities

#charlie bushnell x reader #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #smau #social media au #aesthetic #taylor swift #how you get the girl #instagram

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dollfacefantasy · 4 months

Text

Restless Dreams

pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader

summary: leon gets home late after another hard day at work to you having some extra sweet dreams.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, fingering, somnophilia, wet dream

word count: 3.6k

a/n: hey everyone!! hope you all enjoy this :) i guess i've been into soft leon with somno lately idk LOL. i was kind of tired myself when writing/editing this, so forgive any errors pretty please. new divider from here. thank you for any comments and reblogs <3

tags: @sleepyluxe @kaitkatme @tosuckmyweenis @pupthepokemonenthusiast @bizzarethirst @death-paint @petitecolibri @iron-toxinz @wildest-dreams-at-midnight @nexysworld @explorevenus

“So what time do you think you’re gonna get here?” you ask before blowing on the drying polish that coats your nails.

“My shift finishes up at 12, and then I gotta file some reports. I’ll probably be done at 1, so not too long after that,” Leon explains through the phone. Despite his attempt to lay it out for you, there’s still a pause, one he came to recognize as your reaction of displeasure. A smile plays on his lips. “But you know the real answer is as soon as I can.”

You look down at your phone on your vanity, a pout forming on your face. Obviously, it wasn’t his fault he had to work so much now. He’d warned you when he started at the police station a few months ago, but it didn’t prepare you for how much you’d miss him.

It made you feel dumb, that nagging, achy feeling of longing in your chest. It wasn’t like he was off to war or something. You still saw him almost everyday. But more and more of his time was consumed by work now. Even when he was with you, he was often exhausted.

Sometimes all you could think about his new job was that he was your boyfriend, not theirs. You’d mentally scold yourself for being so immature when that happened, but the sentiment still lingered in your head.

“Ok…” you say, trying to keep your voice neutral. He hears the dejection in your tone though.

“Baby,” he coos in that voice that sent warmth through your spine and got you to agree with everything he said, “You know I’d rather be with you. I’m just new and have to take the time to learn. Plus, with the caseload and the number of officers here, they need me at the station.”

“I need you more,” you say. You try to pass it off as playfulness, but it comes from real feelings. Your heart was beginning to tense with resentment for the RPD for taking him away so much. You knew the job meant a lot to him though which is why you would never unleash your admittedly petty frustrations.

A low laugh leaves him, and you can hear that loving smirk on his face as his voice comes through your phone’s speaker.

“Do you now? You’re really missing me that much?” he teases, leaning back in the driver’s seat of his cruiser.

He knew that you did in fact miss him that much. And even though, since starting at the police station, he tried to project the image of a tough guy, he missed you just as much. That’s why he started calling you during lulls in his shift.

“Mhm. It’s not fair. It’s like I’m sharing you with the station. And I don’t like sharing,” you say with an exaggerated huff.

“Oh, I know you don’t,” he chuckles. He sighs happily, checking the time to calculate how much time was left before he could have you in his arms again. “But not much longer, baby. Then you get me all to yourself for the whole weekend.”

“I better,” you grumble with a smile.

“I promise you will,” he says genuinely. A light on his dashboard flickers, alerting him that his attention is needed elsewhere. “Just don’t stay up too late waiting for me tonight, ok? Your rest is important.”

“Seeing you is more important,” you respond.

“I know, but I prefer my girl when she’s not all cranky and sleep deprived. So try tonight, sweetheart. For me?” he asks.

“I guess,” you concede. Your heart already aches, knowing he’s about to hang up.

“I love you, baby,” he says softly, “I’ll see you later.”

“I love you too,” you tell him before he disconnects the call.

The silence that falls over your room makes it feel even more empty. You tap the glass screen of your phone, scanning for the time before you finish getting ready for bed. Your mouth curves downward when the numbers light up on the screen.

Only 10:30. Too much time till you’ll hear him come through your front door, but it’s not like you can do anything about it. You haphazardly go through the rest of your routine before dragging yourself over to your bed and getting in.

Sliding between the soft pink sheets, you flop down against your pillow and stare at the ceiling as you contemplate how to kill the time. Nothing grabs your interest because none of it’s him. It’s all just filler.

And worst of all, you were starting to feel sleepy. You wanted to wait up for Leon so badly, but you also went through a whole day of your own that tired you out. Plus, your bed was just so comfy with your plush blankets and full pillows, stuffed animals and frilly decorative cushions scattered on one side.

Thinking it would help to keep your eyes actively focused on something, you try to read. Your eyes scan over the words, and it isn’t long before you realize you’d made a horrible mistake. Moving your eyes along the page only made them more drowsy.

Next you turn on the tv and put on something you didn’t really have to pay attention to. But the soft glow of the tv casts across you and the low chatter of the characters becomes background noise, making it even harder for you to keep your eyes open.

You lazily reach across your bed and grab the bunny stuffie Leon had bought for you a few weeks prior. Tucking it beneath your chin and close to your chest, your drooping eyes fall shut and your breaths become soft and even. Barely any time has gone by before you’re sinking into slumber.

Leon glances down at his phone, the small numbers illuminating 2:04 in the darkness of the hallway. He enters your place with the key you gave him and shuts the door as quietly as possible. He knows you’re sleeping from seeing the dark bedroom. Already feeling guilty for taking longer than he’d expected, he didn’t want to add to that feeling by waking you up.

He makes his way to your room, padding silently down the hall. Once he reaches the door, he pushes it open with almost no force in an attempt to avoid even the slightest creak. You’re where he expected you to be, curled up in your bed, completely peaceful as you slept. He knew he probably looked like a little lovesick puppy right about now, eager to hop into bed and snuggle up to your side, but he didn’t care.

It takes him no time to shed his police uniform. He makes quick work of unlacing his boots and kicking them off. His pants and shirt crumple up at the foot of your bed next to his belt and socks. Finally, once he’s got on a pair of sweatpants he kept at your place, he climbs into bed with you.

He shoves your stuffies and extra pillows out of his way with a playful roll of his eyes and gets as close to you as he can. His arm drapes over you, and he nuzzles the back of your neck, planting a few kisses on the base of your head. You smelled so good, felt so soft, perfect to come home to.

His body melts into the mattress, and he’s ready to give into his own urges to sleep. That is until he notices you’re not as peaceful as you appeared from the doorway. His eyebrows raise as he feels your legs squirming. Restless movements from your feet beneath the covers and your thighs shifting aimlessly against each other.

He’s ready to brush it off at first. ‘Must just be having some wild dreams,’ he thinks with another kiss to your head. But then he hears the faintest sound, so quiet that he probably would have missed it had he been focused on anything else. It’s a whimper. A gentle, tender squeak that slips from between your lips into the cool air of your bedroom.

Now, his face conveys his concern. He worries you’re having a nightmare. That at any moment you’ll wake up with tears in your eyes and your heart pounding out of your chest. Immediately, he begins stroking your arm, kissing your temple, murmuring “It’s ok, baby. I’m here.”

But you make that little noise again, and this time it paints a different picture in Leon’s head. This whimper didn’t sound scared or stressed, like you were crying out for his protection. No, this sound brought to mind images of you writhing beneath him, nails marking his biceps with small crescents as he pumped himself in and out of you.

He shakes his head because that couldn’t be it. That’s just his horny mind creating things that aren’t there from being so pent up.

At least that’s what he tells himself until you make the noise again. It brings the same memories up, but this time he’s even more sure of it. He lifts his head off of yours to look down at you and try to figure out what to do next.

You look so cute, brows slightly furrowed, lips parted. As he brushes some hair from your face, he notices your fingers clutching your stuffed rabbit a little tighter. Your breath hitches for a moment before you let out a soft, sleepy whine of his name.

It’s unmistakable now what’s going on. He smirks and traces a finger over your lips. The pad of his index finger drags on your bottom lip slightly, turning your mouth into that pout he loved so much. He leans and kisses your cheek as you whine again.

“Please.”

He chuckles at how needy you sound even in your sleep, but at the same time, your voice has blood rushing to his cock while his head swirls with desire. He shifts his own hips, subtly pressing his erection against your ass. His eyes flutter at the minute pleasure. He grows more bold, and his hand rubs your hip before coasting up your side to your chest, giving your breast a gentle squeeze.

You whimper louder and squirm. He squeezes again softly while lowering his head to your neck to lay some tender kisses on the side of your throat. His palm leaves your tits and smooths down over your tummy in the direction of your shorts.

Cautiously, he maneuvers his hand past the waistband and dips into your panties. He cups your pussy, feeling the heat radiating off the area. A single finger slides between your folds in almost an exploratory touch. He feels your slick all over his digit. Clearly, this dream was a pretty good one.

He begins to use another finger, sliding the two up and down through your wetness. You roll onto your back, your breasts rising and falling as your breath gets heavier. Your thighs spread a little as if you subconsciously sensed his presence between your legs.

In your dreams, Leon was doing a lot more than rubbing you with his fingers. After you had fallen asleep, it felt like no time had passed. All of the sudden you were just on the table in your dining room, spread out for his rapture.

You didn’t realize you were dreaming, everything felt so real. To you, he was really there, looking down at you with those loving yet lecherous eyes. Hands roaming your exposed body, lips caressing your skin all over. Everything seemed light and airy while also feeling heavy and thick. Your head, filled with clouds, slipped in and out of the moment. The sensation of him rutting his cock between your thighs and sliding inside of you was your reality at the moment.

In actual reality, Leon continues to move his fingers slowly, swiping them over your entrance and taking them back up to circle your clit. You mewl when he applies some pressure, sending sparks through you. Your squirming becomes more motivated, and he can tell your drifting away from your restful sleep back toward consciousness.

“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’ve got you,” he murmurs, his voice huskier with arousal this time around.

You hear his voice in your dreams. The deep rumble enters your ears as you envision his hips pistoning into your wanting cunt. You mumble something in response, but he can’t understand the sleepy babbling. He rubs your clit a little harder with some more speed. You twitch in response, yet your eyes remain closed.

“I know, baby. I know it feels so good,” he coos and kisses behind your ear.

More incoherent words fall from your mouth. He sucks love bites into your neck, and you tilt your head back, craving more of that feeling. The dream version of him began mimicking the actions of the real Leon as you neared waking.

Whining louder, your fingers dig into the smooth fur of your plush bunny before letting it go. He nips at the sensitive skin of your throat as his fingers travel down and push inside your heat.

The feeling rips a moan from you and causes your eyes to open. Your back arches as he works them deeper. Your hips wriggle a little as you make sense of what’s happening.

“Leon?” you whimper. Your sleepy eyes struggle to stay open after being torn from the fog of sleep.

“That’s right, baby. It’s just me. You were having some nice dreams, weren’t you, pretty girl?” he says.

“Mhm,” you hum mindlessly.

“About me?” he teases, eyes watching your body fidget with the pleasure you felt.

“About you,” you confirm before he leans down and kisses your lips. They were so soft against his own. He slowly moves his mouth with yours and languidly slides his tongue against yours.

You moan into the kiss as his fingers curl within you and hit your favorite spot. Your feet lightly kick at the sensation. Your hips rise a little as you feel the flood gates holding your release about to break.

You’re too sleepy to tell him out right, but he knows the signs. He keeps working you there until your body seizes and arches off the bed. You let out a throaty moan and turn your head to bury your face against his shoulder.

“There you go. Let it all out, sweetheart,” he whispers and kisses your head.

You ride out the high on his hand, and by the time you’re done, you’re ready to fall asleep again. Your mind is hazy with the fog of release. You’re drifting off as your body settles without even realizing it.

You’re only yanked back to reality by Leon scooping you up into his lap. He’s sitting with his back to the headboard, and he situates you between his thighs, back against his chest. His arms keep you caged in nice and close, safe and warm.

“Don’t fall asleep again just yet, babydoll,” he murmurs while kissing up your neck.

Your head lolls back against his shoulder. The fight to stay awake gets a little easier as his hand returns to your soaked panties. He doesn’t tease this time, just slides in two fingers and starts moving them in and out.

The new angle makes you squirm and whine, but he holds you tight in place with his free arm.

“Gotta work you open, honey. Can’t just slide my dick in you with no warm up,” he says with a smirk.

His voice pulls you towards lucidity a little more. Your hands wrap around his free arm for support while your hips instinctively roll into his blissful touch.

“I missed you,” you choke out between gasps and whimpers.

“I know you did,” he teases, grinning against your throat. His cock throbs against the small of your back as his ears latch onto the sound of your slick around his fingers. “Came home to cuddle with my sweet girl, and I find her having such dirty dreams.”

Your cheeks heat up as you start to piece together what had happened. You fully realize now that your escapade on the kitchen table was entirely in your mind. You feel embarrassed for a moment, but the feeling dies pretty quick as you rapidly approach the edge for a second time.

“Not my fault,” you whimper shyly.

He chuckles and kisses your temple once more. “I know it’s not. If anything, it’s mine. I think I’ve been neglecting my baby,” he says with a mocking lilt in his voice.

You cry out as his fingers brush against those same spots that brought you to the finish last time. Your hips twitch, and you grip his thighs as your peak rises within you. Moments later your cumming all over his fingers, sucking in a harsh breath as a second release courses through you, even more intense then the last.

His free arm keeps you secure against his chest while rubbing your side soothingly. The heel of his other palm roughly massages your clit as his fingers pump in and out.

“Good girl,” he coos, “That’s it, just one more and then I can put you to sleep how you deserve.”

As soon as you seem to be coming down, Leon lifts you up again, tugging your clothes off and moving your body around like a doll to get you in the position he wants. You were definitely more pliant after two orgasms, but you could also see how his training had been paying off. Maybe this new job wasn’t all bad.

He has you on your back now, thighs against your chest and knees hooked over his arms. Again, he had no patience to tease right now, so after pushing his sweats down to mid thigh, he takes his cock and slides it in you with no hesitation. He groans as your hole takes him in, your walls pulsing around him even after he bottoms out.

“So wet. I can just slide right in,” he mumbles as his own hips twitch.

Your eyes droop at the stretch. It always felt so satisfying, having him buried balls deep in you. As close as he could possibly be. No fear of him leaving or pain of being separated. You whine and reach up to pull him closer.

He follows along and rests his face against your neck as he begins thrusting. You hear him panting right in your ear. His hands grip your hips so hard you know there’ll be marks.

“Perfect pussy’s made for me,” he grunts while snapping his hips, “Miss it every second I’m not inside it.”

You nod lazily as you continue to clamp down around him. After two releases, you didn’t even feel a building ecstasy anymore, just a constant stream of pleasure.

“Leon,” you whine, “Harder. Wanna feel it.”

He moans at your plea but indulges you, grabbing you harder, pressing your legs higher, filling you deeper.

“Wanna be sore after, don’t you, sweetheart? Want a reminder of me while I’m at work. Something to tide you over till I can do this again. Won’t have to rely on dreams then, right?” he says.

“Yeah,” you whimper. Your bed creaks as he picks up the pace, but your moans mask the sound as they grow in volume.

He fucks into you over and over, stoking the flames within himself, trying to build to that explosion. You were so tight, so warm. He hums another low moan and whimpers softly as he feels it right there. He gasps softly before holding you tighter and muttering in your ear.

“Ready for another one, honey? Gonna be the last one and then we’ll get you comfy and off to sleep.”

“Yeah,” you moan again, unable to say much else.

“Good… good girl,” he moans before his hips buck wildly and he finally releases.

You finish for a third time. You cling to him tight as the euphoria washes over you again. Locking your legs around his hips, you keep your face pressed to the warm skin of his neck as it goes through you. You feel the hot flood of cum he fucks into you. His chest is heaving now too as he recovers from the high.

He stays on top of you for a moment before pulling out. You cling harder upon losing that full feeling. He smiles at your desire to be close to him and gives you one more kiss before sitting up.

“So sweet to me, baby. I hope that made up for the late night,” he whispers and strokes your hair.

“It did,” you say with a nod. Your eyes were already shutting again, ready to go back to sleep after being fucked so good.

He looks at you with all the love in the world as he pulls his sweats up. He then helps you pull your panties and shirt back on, trying to laugh at your sleepy, half-assed movements.

After that, he gets you all tucked in next to him, snuggled up in his arms like he originally intended. He even grabs that stuffed bunny he got you and fits it close to you in case you want it.

“Get some rest, honey. You need it,” he whispers while rubbing your back.

“Mhm,” you respond tiredly, “You too. You’re all mine for the weekend, and I don’t want you tired out the whole time.”

“Alright, but I’m gonna be tired out if we do some more of that again tomorrow,” he jokes. He pulls you close to him and shuts his eyes, nestling his head against yours and settling in to rest.

That puts a smile on your face and you nuzzle him once more before letting yourself fall asleep for the night.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #resident evil imagines #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy imagine #resident evil smut #smut

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