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xcrust · 3 months

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Now in Technicolor

Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss x Reader Insert

“Tune in folks! demons and damned souls, welcome back to the sultry airwaves of Hell's very own station. I must say, dear listeners, Hell has a certain charm, doesn't it? A cacophony of screams, the crackle of flames, and the subtle whispers of secrets that linger in the shadows. It's a splendid orchestra of despair, and I am here to be your guide through the infernal playlist”

You expected the man to be insane but you didn't expect him to be so unshameful.

“So, grab a pitchfork, kick back, and let the music of the damned serenade your darkened souls! Now let's talk about my latest massacre-”

As of the moment you're not actually with him. Though him doing his broadcast that reigns in all of hell almost feels like he's still beside you all along. As your point of freedom away from your family you decided it was best to get to know hell from the very people that walked the streets.

Since he began taking you under his wing, you decided to stay with him till you find your place to settle down.

You were an early riser so the radio was not really a bother. The weird universal agreement to decide night and day here is such a fascination to you. Nevertheless being hell meant there was never a time without someone awake causing chaos. The game plan of working your way up the charts is what your dad always said while growing up, "Don't take shit from other demons”. Starting with that is to gain a more hopeful advantage in knowing the people.

“Watch this!” a really grimy voice screamed out. Looking that way you could see a few imps running around gathering people's attention.

One taller than the average imp stood with horns adorned in flickering embers, cackling with glee as he addressed his chaotic minions. "Listen up, you fiendish crap! I think it's time to start a new and take back what should be rightfully ours”

In the heart of pentagram city, the joy that you get from seeing the disaster is always so fulfilling. You may be new to these parts but boy does it give you a rush.

A sleek abyssal demon slinked through the crowd, leaving a trail of illusions in its wake. The demon could not only morph into various grotesque forms but the path that it was leaving behind was startling and amusing onlookers. As it danced between the dimensions of reality and illusion, confused demons stumbled into each other, inadvertently causing a chain reaction of minor skirmishes and squabbles. But what you didn't expect was for him to come up to you.

“They do this every week, by now it should get through their heads no one is going to listen” His voice was deep. It was such a buttery kind of smooth.

“I don't know there seems to be a crowd starting” with a smile you look up at him to see an amused look on his face.

The scene in front of you did intrigue you a lot. The bottom of the food chain in hell trying to make a voice for themselves. Their treatment is a peculiar mix of disdain and indifference. Larger demons may kick an imp out of the way without a second thought or summon them with a snap of their fingers for trivial purposes. Imps are often subjected to the capricious whims of their more powerful counterparts, enduring cruel pranks and occasional bouts of aggression.

Though you never thought that, though treated as the lowest rung of the demonic hierarchy, imps often find themselves at the mercy of their more powerful counterparts. They serve as the labor force, taking on a myriad of roles and responsibilities that range from menial tasks to dangerous assignments. Whether it's cleaning the twisted architecture of demonic structures or scurrying about as messengers delivering missives between the higher-ups, imps are ubiquitous fixtures in the daily hustle of Hell

“The pride ring is the top show in these parts and what do we get?! We get booted to the side and have to deal with the hypocrisy of these stupid standards!!” Those who spoke up before started chanting about rights for imps.

Certainly something that you would stand behind. Maybe it's a closed minded thought process but what was the point of souls from earth having more respect than the ones from here?

The heartbreaking sight was to see them run out. Demons of all kinds were starting to riot against them. In the face of adversity, the mischievous imps vowed to continue their antics, proving that even the smallest creatures could leave an indelible mark on the tumultuous canvas of Hell The Hellraisers disappear into the chaotic crowd, leaving a trail of bewildered demons and a street strewn with toppled stalls. with mayhem reigning supreme in the darkened streets.

“It's stupid and kinda sad to watch” The man stood beside you huffing out.

“Aren't you a hypocrite, you're an earthborn yourself aren't you?” the ego that these people have never stops amazing you everyday.

“Yeah… just because I'm here doesn't mean I'm set in stone as a bad person… Though looking at you, I'd guess you're like myself but you look almost a little too perfect for a human” crossing his arms he looked at you.

“That's because im-! You know who you are anyways dickbag” This guy was seriously putting you off. Comparing you to whatever those disappointments are.

“Pump the hate breaks… I'm Walter by the way.. Since you asked." The cadence of his voice was so politician based that it could lead you to go insane.

As the chaos unfolded around you, Walter's nonchalant demeanor seemed to contrast sharply with the tumultuous scene. The imps' attempts to rally for their rights had escalated into a full-blown street brawl, with demons of varying sizes and shapes joining the fray. The air resonated with shouts, roars, and the occasional yelp from an imp caught in the crossfire.

"Quite the spectacle they're putting on, isn't it?" Walter questions raising an eyebrow

You observed the chaos with a mix of fascination and concern. The imps were outnumbered and outmatched, yet their resilience and determination to stand up against the status quo intrigued you.

"Yeah, it is," you replied, eyes still fixed on the scene. "Seems like they're fed up with being pushed around."

Walter chuckled, a dry sound that echoed through the cacophony. "Oh, they've been trying to make a statement for ages. It's almost cute."

"Cute?" You shot him a disapproving look. "They're fighting for their rights. It's not cute; it's necessary."

Walter's gaze lingered on you for a moment before he shrugged, unimpressed. "Necessary, maybe. But in Hell, it's a matter of survival. Those little imps are just making noise in a world that won't listen."

The riot continued to escalate, with fiery projectiles, illusions, and general pandemonium swirling around. Amidst the chaos, a trio of larger demons emerged, their expressions twisted into malicious grins.

"Looks like the big guns are stepping in. This is where it gets interesting." you said while stepping back to not get caught in the crossfire. Values and morals aside, sometimes seeing stuff play out is widely more interesting than anything else. Fuck you sounded sadistic.

The trio of demons seemed to relish the opportunity to quash the imp uprising. With a wave of their hands, they conjured dark energy, sending shockwaves through the crowd of imps. You could see the smaller demons being tossed aside like ragdolls, their attempts at resistance quickly crushed.

You felt a surge of empathy for the imps, caught in a cycle of oppression and rebellion. However, Walter's detached demeanor left you conflicted. Was he merely observing the chaos, or did he revel in the anarchy that unfolded before him?

Leaning into you his dark haze felt almost suffocating. "Well, darling, what do you think? Will the imps triumph or become another forgotten footnote in Hell's sordid history?"

The question lingered in the air, emphasizing the harsh reality of Hell's hierarchy. The imps' plight seemed both desperate and valiant, a stark reminder that even in Hell, some fought for a semblance of dignity and recognition.

“Whatever, if this is just a game to you, I hope your luck runs out” you remark before heading out of the city center. Being around him made you miss the annoying voice of alastor.

Walking away from him was the easiest thing that you could do. His attempt to engage you in conversation, using terms like "darling" with a sly smile, only added to your growing irritation. It felt like he was mocking not only the imps but also your own principles and values.

The crimson glow of dawn began to seep through the curtains of Alastor's luxurious suite of his radio booth, signaling the end of another night's radio broadcast. The room, adorned with vintage furnishings and an air of refined chaos, bore witness to the aftermath of Alastor's nocturnal endeavors.

reclined in an opulent armchair, a contented smirk playing on his lips. The room still echoed with the faint whispers of his charismatic voice, which had reached every corner of Hell during the broadcast. The radio equipment, adorned with dials and adorned in a distinct retro aesthetic, hummed softly, now temporarily dormant.

Alastor found his thoughts occasionally drifting to the enigmatic (Y/n). a peculiar newcomer to Hell or at least to what he thinks. had managed to capture the attention of the radio demon in a way that he couldn't quite dismiss. The glimmers of defiance in (Y/n)'s gaze during their encounters had not gone unnoticed. Alastor, who revealed in the unexpected and the unconventional, found a peculiar satisfaction in the mystery that surrounded them. In Hell, where familiarity often bred contempt, the unknown was a rare and exhilarating novelty.

As the first rays of dawn bathed the room in a warm glow, Alastor's posture shifted. He rose from the chair, his movements graceful and deliberate. Despite the seemingly chaotic nature of his radio persona, there was an undeniable elegance to his every action.

Alastor pondered the significance of this newcomer's journey through the infernal landscape. Why could he feel such raw power? Though why is it that he is reminded of himself when thinking about them.

Walking over to a nearby table, Alastor poured himself a cup of tea. The delicate porcelain clinked softly against the saucer as he sipped the hot beverage. The tranquility of the moment contrasted with the lively chaos he had orchestrated just hours ago.

Thinking back to last night, With a casual flick of his wrist, when he summoned ethereal tendrils that danced like shadows in the night. These spectral appendages slithered through the air, reaching out to the trembling souls and ensnaring them in a web of malevolent energy. The very fabric of reality seemed to warp under his influence, distorting the surroundings into a nightmarish landscape.

Alastor's mind, ever calculating, reflected on the success of the night's broadcast. The intertwining melodies of jazz and hellish commentary had woven a tapestry of entertainment, capturing the attention of listeners from the lowliest imps to the loftiest demons. The echoes of laughter and applause lingered in his mind like a symphony of souls.

As the jazz tunes from a nearby record player filled the air, Alastor reclined in his chair, a sly grin playing on his lips. The prospect of weaving the reader into the ongoing narrative of Hell sparked a mischievous glint in his eyes. (Y/n), in their apparent defiance of the expected norms, had become a wild card in the devil's deck of amusement.

Getting up to Leisurely strolling through the lavish suite, Alastor glanced at a vintage record player. He selected a vinyl record, the soothing crackle of the needle finding its groove as the melodic tunes of an old jazz number filled the room. The music, a stark departure from the energetic chaos of his radio show, created an ambiance of refined tranquility.

From below his window he sees these peculiar picture shows from down below.

"My, my, attempting to disturb the delicate balance of my little corner of Hell? How utterly quaint.”

“Hey! I'm back! Damn, is it a lively scene out there,” you call out as you stride into your shared living space.

Alastor, reclining on a vintage armchair, smirks in response. "Ah, my dear (Y/n), chaos is the very essence of this delightful realm. One must learn to appreciate the symphony of suffering that plays around us."

"Yeah, well, it's just something that I'll make work in my hand,” you reply, taking a moment to glance around the eclectic decor of your hellish abode.

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Alastor stands up abruptly. "I know you just got back, but we are going out!" His enthusiasm is palpable, and you can tell he has something interesting in mind.

“Wait, I think I had my share—” you try to speak out before being abruptly grabbed by the arm.

“Come on, my dear!” In a flash, you find yourself whisked out of the apartment, leaving behind the familiar surroundings for whatever adventure Alastor has in store.

"Alastor, where are we even going?" you asked, trying to keep up with his brisk pace. His usual grin widened, revealing a hint of mischief.

"Patience, my dear (Y/n). I have something intriguing to show you," Alastor replied, his voice carrying an air of secrecy.

He turned to face you, his expression unreadable. "I thought it would be delightful to pay a visit to our esteemed TV demon. After all, shouldn't we take a look at all kinds of media?"

Before you could voice your reservations, Alastor pushed open the doors of the Vox Network headquarters, leading you into the opulent reception area. The robotic sentinels stood guard, and Vox's voice echoed through the room.

"Ah, Alastor! A pleasure to have you in the building! , What a delightful surprise," a booming voice echoed from the center of the room. Vox, the flamboyant TV demon, materialized in a cloud of static. His slick, metallic appearance glowed in an array of colors, and his screen-like face displayed a perpetually changing expression. his screen displaying a charismatic smile.

Vox extended a hand towards Alastor. the radio demon simply walked past to which earned a small glitch seen at the corner of his screen.

“Seems you've brought a pet?” The fact that no one knew who you were was starting to get on your nerves. Calling you a pet? Well that's something that will make you riot.

In the face of Vox's condescending remark, you felt a spark of irritation flicker within you. Alastor's dismissal of the TV demon's extended hand had left a peculiar glitch on Vox's screen, a subtle indication that the flamboyant host wasn't accustomed to being ignored.

"No one's anyone's pet," you retorted, asserting yourself in the opulent reception area. The robotic sentinels glanced in your direction, their mechanical eyes narrowing as if registering an unexpected anomaly.

Vox's screen shifted to an intrigued expression, the colors dancing in an erratic display. "Ah, a voice from the shadows! I must confess, I wasn't aware we had a new player in this delightful game."

Alastor, leaning against a holographic display, observed the unfolding interaction with a glint of amusement in his eyes. "She's no pet, Vox. Just someone with a taste for chaos and curiosity about your little empire."

Vox chuckled, the sound reverberating through the sleek surroundings. "Chaos and curiosity, my favorite combination! How intriguing! So, (Y/n), what brings you into our glamorous world today?"

You crossed your arms, a defiant gleam in your eyes. "I'm not here to be entertained or become anyone's spectacle if thats what youre thinking.”

Alastor stepped in “We just thought we'd see what all the fuss is about."

Vox's screen displayed a mix of amusement and curiosity. "A renegade spirit, I like it! But you're in the presence of yours truly and We don't do small things here. Let's skip the foreplay and get into it. How about a little deal? I'll make you an offer you can't refuse."

You eyed Vox skeptically, wary of the gleam in his screen. Alastor, seemingly unfazed, glanced at you with a sly grin. "Go on, (Y/n), entertain his offer. He has no power or specialty. We might find something amusing in his little game."

“Ok first fuck you alastor and no way in the seven rings would I join you I wouldnt join anyone” The prospect of dealing with Vox made your skin crawl, but the allure of navigating Hell's media empire intrigued you.

Vox's screen flickered with a mix of surprise and subtle annoyance as you firmly rejected his proposition. The colors on his metallic visage swirled in a display of shifting hues, mirroring the complex emotions running through the TV demon's circuits.

"Well, well, aren't you a feisty one, Are you sure about not joining anyone? You seem like a loyal dog to that freak" Vox mused

Your resolve remains unshaken, and you meet Vox's screen with a defiant gaze. "I don't need your offers, Vox. I'll find my own way through Hell's chaos."

Vox's laughter echoed through the opulent reception area, a mix of genuine amusement and an underlying sense of challenge. "Very well, (Y/n). Should you change your mind or seek a taste of the limelight, you know where to find me.”

What a bitch… At this point you were at your limit so you walked out to the side of the room to not entertain this conversation. The fucking nerve of these people. Even Alastor was being a little bit of a shit at the moment.

“There's a certain allure to the unknown, wouldn't you say?" Vox pondered aloud, his screen displaying a charismatic smile.

Alastor, still leaning against the holographic display, turned to you with a smirk. "Well done, my dear.”

Alastor's antlers grew as he stood before Vox, his crimson eyes piercing

"Ah, Vox, my dear fellow," Alastor began, his voice carrying a melodic tone laced with a subtle threat. "I hope you enjoyed the rejection dance my little friend here performed. Now, let's get one thing clear – I don't dance to anyone's tune, especially not yours. You might be the new shiny toy right now but people always come back to the original"

Vox's screen glitched momentarily, revealing a flicker of irritation.

"What's the meaning of this, Alastor?" Vox demanded, his voice losing some of its usual charisma and taking on a sharper edge. "You come here and start bitching at me about not joining me?! We've already established that”

“You underestimate the consequences of refusing me, Alastor," Vox hissed, his voice losing its previous charm entirely. "This will be my realm to control, and those who reject my advances often find themselves in a far less favorable position."

Alastor chuckled, the sound echoing in the extravagant reception area. "Consequences, Vox? I've faced worse in my time. Your attempts to control the narrative may work on the masses, but not on someone who knows the art of chaos."

As Alastor turned to leave, Vox seethed with frustration. The TV demon couldn't fathom being denied, and Alastor's rejection left a lingering tension in the air. Vox's screen displayed an animated storm of chaotic colors.

A surge of annoyance swept over you. Alastor's encouragement of Vox and his apparent amusement at the situation grated on the reader's nerves. The reader couldn't fathom why he enabled the TV demon's actions especially considering the TV demon's manipulative and self-serving nature. To make matters worse it really felt like he was making fun of you.

“Fuck off Alastor”

"(Y/n), this is Hell, and power here is earned through deals and influence. If you want to make your mark, you have to start making deals," Alastor advised in a tone that was both casual and instructional. His words resonated with a hint of amusement, as if he relished the idea of the reader navigating the treacherous landscape of Hell.

“I'm not some social experiment, why are you still here?” however, was taken aback by Alastor's nonchalant attitude toward the situation. The idea of making deals in exchange for souls seemed like a slippery slope, and the reader wasn't sure if they were ready to embrace such a cutthroat approach

“Embrace it, and you'll see just how intoxicating the taste of power can be." he replied

If they were to survive and thrive in Hell, understanding the art of making deals was a necessary skill. With a determined nod, they acknowledged Alastor's guidance.

"Alright, Alastor. Teach me the ropes. I might as well learn how to play this game if I'm going to survive in Hell," the reader conceded, a resolute glint in their eyes.

“Im staying with you, but if you even think about being an ass while other people are around you're going to be counting your last minutes”

“Doll, if you can barely stand up for yourself, I don't think I have anything to worry about,” he laughed out.

He's seriously pushing your buttons right now.

“As an overlord, you have dominion over a specific territory or domain within Hell. This grants you considerable authority and control over the demons and souls, you want that right? Power?” he asked.

All of a sudden you heard a loud bash of commotion coming from a group of demons that appeared to be fighting.

Pushing through the crowd, they discovered a group of demons surrounding none other than Walter.

One of the larger demons, a hulking figure with horns resembling twisted spires, look with disdain. "This fool thinks he can waltz into our territory and act like he owns the place."

Walter, bloodied but defiant, attempted to maintain his composure. "Now, now, gentlemen, there's no need for such hostility. Let's talk this out civilly."

The demons surrounding Walter scoffed at his attempts at diplomacy, clearly unimpressed. The reader couldn't help but feel a surge of annoyance at Walter's earlier arrogance.

"Perhaps, my dear (Y/n), we should let this play out. It's always entertaining to witness the ebb and flow of power dynamics in Hell," Alastor mused, his eyes glinting with a sinister delight.

"Come on! Do something about this!!, you can't just stand there and watch!" Walter's voice cracked with a mixture of pain and panic as he pleaded for help.

"My, my, Walter, seems like you've landed yourself in quite a bind. Who would have thought our charismatic friend would face such a predicament?" you said out loud

“please! I'm not cut out for this kind of roughing up!" Walter's words were desperate, his eyes pleading for intervention. The demons surrounding him laughed, reveling in his vulnerability

“Oh please you were such a bigshot earlier, get yourself out of this mess”

ignoring the demons' taunts, you whispered out a proposal which the smoked and leaned in closer to Walter and whispered the terms of the deal. The specifics echoed in the demonic air, forming an unspoken pact that hung heavy in the atmosphere.

"Deal," Walter agreed, relief washing over him as the terms were settled. The demons, though momentarily confused, soon found themselves turned to dust.

Alastor observed the scene with a raised brow, intrigued by the sudden turn of events. The reader's willingness to strike a deal for Walter's soul added a new layer of complexity

Looking back up to him and smiled, “is this what you wanted?”

As Alastor continued to observe the chaotic scene unfolding before him, a smirk played on his lips. The demons surrounding Walter, still reveling in the prospect of his impending downfall, were oblivious to the subtle yet profound shift in the power dynamics.

"Well, well, it seems you've decided to make a deal. How delightful!" Alastor chuckled, his eyes gleaming with amusement. The atmosphere shifted, charged with an unspoken agreement between you and Walter.

“Now, now, gentlemen, let's not keep our eager audience waiting. After all, this is shaping up to be quite the dramatic performance,” Alastor commented looking at the rest of the demons that just fell dead, staring at the corpses with a dark amusement lacing his words. He leaned casually against a nearby demonic structure, his radio-like grin widening.

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mx-your-name · 1 month

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His Goddess - 2

Possessive!Adam x Goddess!Reader

Warning: Yandere theme, Possessive Adam, minimum Obsessed Adam, mention of willing to kill angels and sinners, Adam trying to fight a literal GOD, slight mention of sized and mommy kink, a weird ass dead Angel willing to do anything for you that goes by the name of fucking ADAM!

-Like any normal day you were awake doing business whether it was watching over the mortal world, heaven, or hell

-Just then you had to get called into a meeting making you even more annoyed while you were trying to maintain all three places which were all chaotic.. Lute was a mess after Adam’s death with Sera and Emily trying to cheer her up or something, hell was hell, and Earth was just a mix of heaven and hell that was 10x worse than both

-And to your no amusement only to find out that the meeting had lasted for three hours!

-Not only did you miss out on normal day activities you do but Adam was also panicked on where you were at

-He had woken up and went to the normal spot to find you NOT there so he thought you were in your library or something? Nope! Garden? Not there either! He had looked everywhere only to find no one, not his goddess in sight

-Adam knew he shouldn’t worry since you were not only a HOT GODDESS but one that is more powerful than the other four

-Including your hot and sexiness

- *s i g h s in d i s a p p o i n t m e n t*

-Image him calling you tall milf or Mommy cause how you always towered over him.. yeah weird motherfucker but we still love him

-You see how cocky he is about himself just wait until he tells you all the cool stuff that he had done for you to fall more in love with him but fails miserably, you already saw everything he had done from the start of time itself

-Size kink, you can’t tell me otherwise! Whether it’s you or him that’s taller! He’ll still have a size kink no matter what!

-Still calls you a bitch but instead he says, “milf bitch,” or “tall bitch,” or “hot bitch,” or even “mommy bitch,” He’s still coming up with more nicknames for you till this day, yeah weird motherfucker am I right?

-I regret doing this but I love him sfm…

-Has told you multiple times that you belonged to him and him alone which is like 5 or 6 times PER DAY sadly..

-Of course he trusts that you’d never leave him for someone else like who would? He’s Adam! The first man! The dickmaster! He just doesn’t trust that goody tooshoo Cupid guy that talks nonstop about love this and love that

-Yeah.. he definitely had to tell himself that he was the only one made for you and you alone. He fucking CACKLED for the past 5 10 minutes about that

-Meanwhile you were super bored in the meeting which was talking about what to do with certain IMP’s in hell that were going back up to the human world messing with the people and killing them after getting more calls from clients and shit about that

-You were really wishing you brought Adam in here to make it entertaining and have some views from a person that knew sinners personally that just wanted to kill them

-Now when you were looking through the eyes you have everywhere and saw Adam laughing to himself then leaving to grab a drink and sip on it, maybe it was in fact the best idea to not have him come to this Gods meeting

“I say we just go down there and handle them ourselves! Sooner or later they are gonna need to learn to not FUCK with the human world and just stay in their damn place! Maybe we should even give Stolas a visit about him letting those IMP’s use his book that was passed on through his family from us!” Demeter shouted slamming her fist on the table now standing up from her chair knocking it over making it tumble onto the ground. The vines alongside the wall as decoration grew bigger fast from her anger that was swelling up inside of her.

“Not only that but they are messing with nature! The nature that I took my time growing! The nature that I took my time out of my schedule to plant in the place that was needed and thought out only from it all gets mostly destroyed by.. fucking IMP’s!” Her shouting was heard throughout the entire room and through the giant down for all of your 40 foot tall frames. The vines growing faster and faster the more her anger boiled, Eros shirking down a bit muttering how this didn’t feel like a lovely conversation anymore.

Themis sat there, her hands intertwined neatly on the table, staring at Demeter through her blindfold over her eyes with a straight face. Ares felt the anger that was all so familiar that he knew during the wars he went through time and time again for humans only that was never really appreciated or respected anymore nowadays. You knew every emotion that everyone was feeling, you sat at your seat in between both sides. Resting your face in the palm of your hand that stood up on the arm of your chair wanting this meeting to be over since you still had stuff that you needed to get down.

For example like making sure that Adam hadn’t gone mad when finding that you were missing and leaving your place without him. It was always important to him that when you left you had to take him with you since he was always feeling like you were just cheating on him with that Cupid guy which Adam refers to him as. Yeah you had to tell him just because you're leaving without him doesn’t mean you're doing any of that with Eros after all he wasn’t anything more. That but also because Eros already basically had two wives since he is Cupid.

You also had to remind Adam that you two weren’t dating, which Adam acted so dramatic about crying that you didn’t love him anymore. He had crocodile tears going down his face, sighing as you lifted him up in your hands telling him to stop crying. When he thought you weren’t looking he had a smirk on his face knowing that he won the conversation. He “always” did, instead you only let him since Eros told you over and over that he could feel Adam’s love for you raiding off of him, but told you privately that the love Adam had for you was more toxic and possessive but still said it was so cute to see the love between you two!

“Demeter, please calm down. We’ll get this whole situation sorted out in no time and you know revealing ourselves to anyone besides to the certain people that know about us would mess up everything and would cause chaos to arise. We’ll all come up with a plan on what to do, maybe we could speak to Stolas about the matter after all he knows of our existence because of his family.” You told Demeter, breaking through the tension between everyone once snapping out of your thoughts about the matter you're gonna have to deal with when getting back to your place.

“I sincerely apologize, [Name]. I’m just a bit mad for what those IMP’s are doing to my amazing plants down on the planet Earth.” She explained, her vines shrinking back down with a swipe of her hand. Her once chair that laid on the ground was now sat back up thanks to her plants that sprouted from the bottom of her feet. Demeter sat back down in her seat with a swift motion, Eros now sitting back up in his pink chair that had hearts on it that was designed that was to his liking.

-After that whole thing the meeting went completely normal figuring out ideas and coming up with a way to get what Demeter wanted without breaking any of the rules

-Never have you been so thankful in your life when the meeting finally ended letting all five of you go back to what you were doing before the three hour long God and Goddess gathering

-Snapping your fingers you were easily back at your place, Adam who was watching television with a slurpee in hand sipping on it

-Your once 40 foot tall height shrunk down to ten feet that was still taller than Adam since you didn’t feel comfortable being short cause it didn’t fit you, that’s what you’d always say

-Once you sat down beside him on the couch expect him to immediately cling onto you like you were a jungle gym or something

-For a warning he ain’t ever gonna let go until he feels that he can but will still cling to your side wherever your heart leads you to

-Threatening anyone that he deems competition that’ll try and fight for your love

-Yes he HAS in fact threatened the other gods even the goddesses about staying away from you his lover

-Oh my YOU! He almost died a second time thanks to Ares but it was stopped by you. Adam knew that you’d protect him but didn’t show it telling you that he could’ve handled it on his own

-no… just no-

-Adam so wished Lute was here so he could show you off to her and say he had hit the jackpot on finding the one that was always meant to be his lover from the start

-He does miss Lute most of the time feeling a bit lonely without his best friend by his side but at least you're here with him! Not like you're ever gonna leave. He wasn’t able to die again with him by your side and you wouldn’t be able to die since you are a LITERAL goddess

-Had tried to convince you to bring Lute up here multiple times but you told him that you weren’t able to do that for the sake of the rules that were written down for you, you did tell him that if she did die that she would come up here and could stay here with the two of you if he wanted. Adam agreed with little hesitation because he realized that he might get you all to himself but if Lute was her she could protect you like your bodyguard

-As if you were gonna need one! If anyone tried attacking you they’re flicked away and if they did manage to after trying to get to where your at

“Oh come on Sugar tits! You will live Lute and we both could get what we want! I can have my best pal with me and you could have another person to add to this house that could pretty you!” Adam tried convincing you, walking side by side in the garden of flowers that Demeter had set up for you since she said your house was a bit dull m, that was but it wasn’t anymore when Adam arrived here and moved in total with your permission.

“I had already told you Adam, I’m not aloud the only way she could come up here is if she dies WITHOUT it being caused by me or any of the others.” You told him for the second time in the past two minutes man. Wait sugar tits? Oh great another nickname for you, guess it was a bit better than bitch mommy, gross. “Oh don’t be like that babes, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s just one person!” Adam said, slurping on his slurpee in hand, his golden wings resting behind his back. He no longer had his weird looking mask since he had died without it on.

“You ask one more time and I’ll take you going on walks with me in the garden away no scratch that, I'll take you sleeping with me away for a whole damn week if it makes you be quiet.” That had gotten Adam to shut up rather quickly huh guess that’s one of the things he doesn’t wanna go a week without or even a single day. He had bugged you so much one time so you kicked him out of your room for a whole night, he slept outside the door and apologized for what he did later that morning. He couldn’t even stand the feeling of sleeping without you in your big giant bed together.

Nodding your head as you continue your way through the garden admiring the flowers that Demeter had made for you. It was rather normal for all the gods or in other cases goddesses to give the others housewarming gifts. Demeter gave all of you plants and flowers, Eros had gotten any pink and pastel colors to represent love. Ares had gotten all shades of red and some black ones that often had both colors mixed to represent the war for him which he loved gladly.

Themis had gotten just blue that were all shades since she only wanted blue and some were white as an exception since Demeter said it was too bluey for the whole garden. You had gotten all kinds of colors since you were creation and creation could make any color and another part of the garden had darker shades of colors including black, all shades of gray, brown, and etc to represent the destruction.

Ares gave every person some knight armory stands along side the outside or inside of the huge like places you all live at to represent the protection of knights that could come to live from his power to protect the place it guards if anything tried to ever attack which was very unlikely but better be safe than sorry. Eros gifted everyone scented candles with your favorite scents and always gave you all new ones every once or two weeks cause the old ones melt away but that’s okay!

Themis gifted everyone scale if anyone needed an option on anything if you don’t ever make up your mind or see where a person should go to be either reincarnated or whiling them from the face of the entire existence. Your gift to everyone was to make anything they wished for since you had creation letting you create anything with the power of your magic that didn’t break a single sweat from you.

“How does a nice dinner and a movie tonight sound to you?” Breaking the silence with ease as your hand held the flower between your fingertips, the beauty is always surprising on how pretty and amazing things can look if you just focus on the present instead of technology, staying inside all day, or just not giving a single care about the world at all. “That sounds awesome, sugar tits.” Adam quickly agreed, grinning ear to ear, and there that nickname was there again.

Not able to hold the smile back from appearing on your face, letting out a laugh as you cover your mouth with your hand. Your eyelids open up revealing [color] eyes that had a star in the middle of it as the pupils. What made you even more beautiful to Adam in the scenery was your smile that would be worth a thousand or even more words that he spent in a heartbeat. But also because of the way you looked at him with pure eyes that seemed to easily overpower anyone if they tried to fight you, yet again they held both the sunset and sunrise you would always want to see with your significant other every day at any given chance that was open for free.

The sun shining brightly behind you making your appearance glow brightly made Adam feel like he fell so much harder for you than he already was. If he thought he was already deeply in love with you, this one handed split second had sealed the deal on his love that he felt for only you. And the way you were looking at him with laughter and a smile he knew you must love him back. If it wasn’t his cockyness talking he would say that he was glad you were starting to love him but maybe not as much as he loves you but that’s okay cause he could love you with all the love he’d offer. Maybe even kill sinners and angels combined to see you give him that smile every day.

#hazbin hotel #yandere hazbin hotel #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel x reader #yandere hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #Hazbin hotel x goddess!reader #Yandere Hazbin hotel x goddess!reader #yandere adam x reader #adam x reader #goddess reader x adam #goddess!reader #goddess reader #x reader #possessive Adam #the dickmaster #the first man

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a-case-of-attachment · 2 months

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The Lamb & The Serpent

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x sinner fem!reader

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Lucifer being a chaotic mess, sex, p in v, swearing, virgin reader, first time, awkwardness, Lucifer being awkward, fluff, relationship are hard sometimes that’s why communication is key, romance isn’t dead, Lucifer and his oral fixation, wholesome smut, they are in love your honour.

Please click -> here <- to read on AO3

After his little chat with Asmodeus and his subsequent awaking to what had actually been going on over the past couple of months Lucifer had every intention of sitting you down so he could apologise for his poor behaviour and reassure you that he was very much interested in what you were offering. That had been the plan anyway but unfortunately things just hadn’t gone his way and Lucifer had been forced to spend the last three day refereeing the ongoing argument between Asmodeus and Mammon as they bickered over the little clown imp they both had their eye on. It had been a headache inducing mess, one that had ended with Lucifer snapping at the embodiment of greed, his horns and tale making an appearance when he had missed yet another call from you.

He was beyond glade it was over with, and Lucifer had barely even managed to say goodbye to Asmodeus before he was teleporting home, appearing in his lobby and just about ready to hide away in his work room until he could stomach being social again. Maybe with an exception or two. Lucifer would very much like to waist a couple of days curled up with you on the sofa as well as having the chance to catch up with Charlie. He could always invite Charlie over for afternoon tea and a chat, maybe even invite Vaggie along as well. Considering she was the love of Charlie’s life he really hadn’t spent enough time getting to know her. Plus, she was an angel, so they already had something in common. Though maybe not the best thing to bond over considering neither of them was likely to want to talk about that aspect of their lives. Maybe you could come along as well and after Charlie and Vaggie had gone the two of you could actually have that conversation about what you wanted from the other physically that you probably should of had a month or so ago. With a plan in mind Lucifer had planned on going straight to bed when he got in but apparently, he wasn’t the only one with plans for his evening.

He knew something was off the moment he appeared in the lobby, the small space feeling warmer than normal and smelling faintly like apple pie. When he opens his eyes it’s to find candles scattered across every surface, the yellow flames glowing warmly and casting long shadows up the walls. The floor is scattered with petals, the light of the candles making them shimmer like an oil spill. Confused Lucifer eyes the trail of petals and candles suspiciously calling out a tentative “hello?” in the hopes of getting an answer for the unusual décor. There comes no answer but the floorboards above creak, letting him know that he’s not alone in the house.

With a frown and a huff Lucifer followed the trail of petals and candle light down the hall and up the stairs, going as slowly and lightly as he can as not to make a sound. Logically he knows that no one down here can hurt him, not unless they had some form of angelic weaponry but that was unlikely considering they were still a rare and expensive commodity despite the amount of angels that had met their end down here over the eons. That doesn’t stop him from being cautious though. Just because a knife to the chest won’t kill him doesn’t mean it’s not going to hurt and despite his reputation amongst the living Lucifer isn’t really that into the whole pain and torture thing. It doesn’t really occur to him that it could be someone he knows who is responsible for the moody and romantic vibe. Even as he steps onto the landing and finds the trail leading to his bathroom door Lucifer doesn’t consider it, that is not till he’s stood in front of closed door and reading the note that had been stuck to the wood with a little duck shaped pin.

His hand trembled a little as he reaches up to take it down, tears clinging to his lashes as his heart swells with the love he had for you. He reads it twice, eyes dragging across the page slowly because he can’t quite believe what he’s reading. You wanted to take care of him, worried that he had been overdoing it the last couple of days and knowing full well he wouldn’t look after himself. You had given him strict instructions to relax, insisting that he spend at least an hour in the bath and that he not think about anything work related. That had him laughing, wiping away his tears as he imagined you stood there with your arms crossed over your chest and looking at him expectantly, your little lamb ears completely ruining the stern look you were going for. Adorably cute and just begging to kissed.

He couldn’t believe you had done this for him. Yes, the candles and petals seemed a bit over the top, but Lucifer liked it all the same. It must have taken you a while to set it all up and his heart feels like it might burst when he realises what that means about how you must feel about him. Surely if you didn’t love him then you wouldn’t have gone to such lengths? And if you were doing romantic things like this then that meant he hadn’t messed up as badly as he had feared.

Oh.

You were wooing him! The realisation had Lucifer feeling giddy, practically bouncing in place he was so excited. He had never been wooed before. Yes, Lilith had loved him, had told him often and never denied him any physical displays of affection but she had never been one for grand displays or romantic gestures. That had been Lucifers thing, always the one showing up with gifts or ridiculously large bouquets of flowers. He was the one who made romantic dinners for the two of them, the one who would run her baths and brush her hair whilst telling her how beautiful she was, how he loved and adored her. He had done the wooing, not the other way round but now? Knowing that you were doing something special for him? Lucifer hadn’t felt this loved and cherished since, well, not for a very long time and he wasn’t really sure what to expect when he opened the door.

He knew what he would do if it was him doing the romancing, had done it enough for Lilith before that it seemed like a logical conclusion that you would be waiting for him inside. Maybe he would catch you leant over the bath, fingers testing the water temperature and smiling ever so sweetly over your shoulder at him. Maybe you would be perched on the edge of the tub, waiting patiently for him to come to you and place a kiss upon your lips. Or maybe, just maybe you would already be in the bath, the bubbles keeping you hidden from him until he had stripped naked and sunk into the water with you. They’re all welcomed scenarios and Lucifer finds himself holding his breath as he slowly pushes the door open, leaning around it in an attempt to see what it was hiding from him.

You are not in the bath, not in the room at all but what there are is more petals scattered across the tiled floor, candles placed on every available surface and giving the room a warm and inviting glow. The bath tub is full, steam curling up from the red bubbles and carrying with it the smell of cinnamon and clove. There’s a small table next to the bathtub, a small selection of candles sat on top of it along with a couple of bottles of toiletries. Bottles that hadn’t been in his house that morning when he left. The whole room looks like a scene from a romance novel, inviting Lucifer in and offering him something that he had never thought he would get to experience for himself. Yes, he is disappointed you aren’t there to share in it with him but after his behaviour these last few months he isn’t surprised that you are keeping your distance. Oh well, Lucifer will follow your orders, planning on luxuriating in the warm waters of his freshly drawn bath and then he would look for you, hopeful that you were still somewhere within his home and not having snuck back to the hotel whilst he was preoccupied. He had a lot to thank you for and didn’t feel like waiting till morning to do so.

With a smile still firmly in place Lucifer followed the trail of petals over the vanity, already pulling off his jacket and eyeing his bath excitedly only to be brought to a sudden stop when his foot hits something soft and squishy. Frowning Lucifer looked down, stepping back slightly so he could get a better look at what he had trodden on. Two sets of black beady eyes stare lifeless back at him from within a round yellow face. Ducks. He’s looking down at ducks. Two large squishy duck plushies with holes in their backs. Are they slippers? Confused Lucifer went to bend down and pick one up, placing his hand in the counter for balance except his hand didn’t touch the cool marble it should have. Instead his fingers sank into something soft and fluffy, Lucifer turning his head to see what it was only to come face to face with even more ducks except these ones are printed onto a deep blue fabric, the space in between decorated with little white stars that seemed to sparkle in the candle light.

Abandoning his original task Lucifer stood back up, frowning down at the neatly folded fabric and the small white card that sat on top, his name scrawled in your familiar font on the front. Turns out they were a gift for him, a set of matching flannel pyjamas and plushie slippers for him to change into after his bath. Lucifer had stood there for a long few minutes, card in hand and staring down at his rubber ducky slippers trying not to cry because of how happy he felt.

It had been centuries since Lucifer had been gifted anything. Yes, he had received bribes and sacrificial offerings but that wasn’t the same. This was heartfelt, picked specifically because of who he was as a person and not because of his status. A part of him does question how you could afford the obvious expensive items because he knows that Charlie doesn’t pay you for the work you do at the hotel, but he squashes that down quickly deciding that it wasn’t important. He knew you, knew that however you had come to possess them it wouldn’t have been by nefarious means. Plus, he’s too happy to care. Not only had you arranged a candle lit bath for him, but you had also given him a gift. There was no doubt in his mind you were trying to woo him now, Lucifer feeling giddy and excited for what would come next. But first, he had a rather lovely bubble bath to sink into.

He makes sure they are folded nicely, slippers tucked in against the vanity before he starts removing his clothes. He’s quick but methodical about it, removing one item after another and folding them neatly so he can stack them next to the pyjamas. His shoes get tucked under the unit next to his new slippers, his cane clipped onto the hook on the side and his hat placed gently atop the hat stand towards the back. Once naked Lucifer runs his hand over the soft fabric once more before turning and heading to the bath.

The groan Lucifer makes as he sinks down into the warm spice scented water sounds practically sinful, but he doesn’t think he would have been able to contain it even if he had tried. It feels amazing, the water almost instantly soothing his aching muscles and helping him to relax. He doesn’t know what you had put in the water but whatever it was surely had to be made of magic of some kind because Lucifer doesn’t think he had ever felt this light and boneless before, just drifting peacefully as the warmth from the water seeped into his very core and left him feeling like he was floating on a cloud. Or maybe it’s just because it’s you that had done this for him that makes it feel a thousand times better than it ever had before. Magic or love? Maybe they were one and the same, intertwined so closely that you couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. Lucifer couldn’t tell, all he knew was that he felt happy and loved and that was something he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

He sits there for what feels like hours, mind blessedly calm and the water never getting cold. It’s only then, as he truly relaxes, that Lucifer hears it. The soft sound of music comes from his adjoining bedroom, the gentle mix of piano and violin creeping through the gaps under the door, hauntingly beautiful and painfully familiar even though Lucifer can’t quite recall where he had heard it before. He doesn’t remember if it had been playing the whole time and his breath catches at the thought of you being in his bedroom. So close yet hidden from him. He wants to call out to you, see if you will answer but he also doesn’t want to break this strange spell he finds himself under. Nor does he want to ruin something you must of worked so hard on. So, Lucifer stays quite, eyes slipping closed as he sinks further into the hot water and lets everything that had been weighing him down go, giving in to the tranquil bliss you had gifted him.

Lucifer doesn’t know how long he stays there for but when he stirs, he finds that most of the bubbles have gone, and the water is lukewarm at best. Deciding that it had probably been over an hour at this point Lucifer finished washing quickly, using the things you had left for him and delighting at the crisp apple scent mixed with cinnamon and ginger with a hint of nutmeg and cardamom that wafted up from the open bottles. He makes sure to wash every inch of himself, even conditioning his hair as well as shampooing, wanting to make sure he used everything you had left for him.

He feels fresh and relaxed when he steps out of the bath, wrapping himself in the ridiculously large and fluffy towel that had been left next to the tub for him. He dries himself quickly, eager to try his new pyjamas on and by the time he’s taken the few short steps across the room his body is mostly dry if not a little pink tinged from how vigorously he had been rubbing at it. The pyjama trousers are just as soft as they had looked, Lucifer letting them sit low on his hips as he shoved his feet into the slippers. He forgoes his shirt for now, a smaller towel draped over his shoulder and catching the water that dripped from his hair as he looked for his hairbrush. It’s not there though and without thinking he is already heading towards the adjoining door to his bedroom, tugging the towel up to rub vigorously at his still wet hair as he flings the door open. He’s already a couple of steps into the room when he suddenly stops, the small gasp catching him off guard.

Lucifers head snapped up at the sound, his eyes going wide when he found you stood there. Oh, but what a sight you were, all wide eyed surprise and lips slightly parted as you took in his half-dressed state. But that wasn’t the best part. Oh no, the best part was that the two of you matched, all the way from the yellow duck slippers on your feet to your pyjamas. They were the exact same ones you had gifted him except where his were trousers yours were shorts, cutting off mid-thigh and leaving your legs blessedly bare. The two of you just stand there, Lucifer completely enraptured by how adorably beautiful you are whilst you stare at his bare chest like you had never seen a half-naked man before.

You are the first to come to your senses, coughing nervously before purposely looking at a spot somewhere over his should as you asked if he had “enjoyed your bath? I know it was a little over the top, but I just wanted to surprise you and, well you seemed a little stressed when we spoke last night, and I thought this might help you relax a little.” Lucifer lets the towel fall forgotten to the floor, striding across the room so he is standing before you, taking your hands in his and waiting for you to look at him before thanking you. You look so relieved when he tells you how much he had loved it, giving him one of your sweet little smiles when he admits that “no one’s ever done something like that for me before and I…thank you, for taking care of me.” He means to say a lot more, but his voice gets caught in his throat and Lucifer can only hope that his choked up little thank you conveys everything he hadn’t been able to say.

Despite his lack of words, you had seemed to understand, cupping his cheek and looking him in the eyes as you swore that you would “show you every single day from here until forever how much you mean to me Lucifer.” Smiling tearfully, he had placed his hand over yours on his cheek, turning his face slightly into your palm as he told you how perfect that sounded and promising to do the same. Lucifer would spend the rest of eternity showing you how much he loved you, would tell you at least twice a day and make sure that you never stopped smiling, always feeling happy and loved. You were too pure of a soul to be down here, and you were definitely too good for Lucifer, but you had chosen him all the same and if heaven had denied you paradise, then he would create a slice of heaven in hell, just for you.

Lucifers the one who breaks the silence between you this time, taking the hand that’s on his cheek and placing a soft kiss on your knuckles before asking about your current state of dress, and noting how adorable you look. Turns out there had been more to Lucifers surprise because not only had you given him a gift and helped him relax you also apparently had plans for his sleeping arrangements, gesturing behind you to the camomile tea that sat on the night stand whilst explaining that you thought the two of you “could snuggle. JUST snuggle. I thought it would be nice for us to, well you know, cuddle.” Lucifer hears what you are saying, would love nothing more than to climb into bed with you and spend the night wrapped in your arms but there’s just one slight problem with that. Lucifer isn’t so sure he would be able to spend the night with you in his bed without experiencing some physical side effects.

His mind kind of gets stuck on that, pulling up every scenario that could unfold by agreeing to sharing his bed with you. Only two out of a dozen possibilities don’t end up with you both naked, and only one of those isn’t sexual in nature. It’s bad, so very very bad to be thinking about such things, especially when you were trying to be romantic and show him how you felt but by the way you were blushing and pointedly not looking at him or the bed Lucifer thought that maybe he wasn’t the only one with less than pure thoughts about the situation. His first instinct is to steer the conversation well away from anything even remotely close to sexual, but he knows better than that now. That being said it doesn’t change the fact that before anything like that could happen between the two of you Lucifer needs to apologise for his behaviour over the last few months and also get verbal confirmation from you that adding sex to your relationship was actually something you wanted.

Lucifer makes sure to tell you that “spending the night with you in my arms sounds like a dream come true,” and it does. He has often dreamed of just holding you, getting to feel your body against his as the two of you simply lay beside one another but considering how he had been reacting to your most simple of touches these last few months he knows that an innocent snuggle wouldn’t be possible for him. The question is how does he tell you that without sounding like some sort of sex obsessed weirdo that can’t even make it through a night of cuddling without getting hard?

Trying to buy himself a little extra time to think Lucifer had directed you to sit at the end of the bed, coming to stand in front if you and nervously running a hand through his still damp hair. Maybe doing this when he was shirtless was a mistake, but he knew that if he disappeared back into the bathroom, he would probably lose his nerve and either end up embarrassing himself or upsetting you. No, he needed to do this now. You deserved the truth, though maybe getting you to sit on his bed was also a mistake, Lucifers eyes drawn down to your bare thighs, realising that if he were to drop to his knees his head would be just the right hight for him to…. NOT HELPING!

You would think that after having been through all this with Asmodeus it would have been easier to tell you he was sorry for his behaviour and explain exactly why he had acted in such a way, but it wasn’t. Not in the slightest and Lucifer found himself stumbling over his words once more, looking over your shoulder to avoid the temptation of letting his gaze wander down too far. You don’t question his lack of eye contact, letting him ramble on about how he “didn’t mean to make you think that I wasn’t interested because I am. Very interested actually but you’ve never, you know, been with anyone before and I didn’t want to rush you into something you weren’t ready for. Not that you can’t make those decisions yourself. It’s just, well, umm, sex, can be messy and complicated, even when you know what you’re doing and I ah, I didn’t, DON’T! want to hurt you.” It’s like Asmodeus’ all over again, Lucifer making a complete mess of trying to tell you what he had thought was happening and what was actually going on.

Why was he so bad at this? All he needed to do was apologise for misunderstanding your attentions and reassure you that he was completely committed to this relationship, regardless of if it included sex or not but if that was something you were interested in then he needed you to just tell him that because he would be thrilled to have the pleasure of well, you. There! That’s all he had to say and yet the words that came out of his mouth were “sex is good. Would, be good, with you. If that was something you wanted to have, with me?” He can’t help but grimace at how ridiculous he sounds, hiding his face in his hands and contemplating opening a portal up underneath himself so he can save you from listening to any more of his embarrassing drivel.

You don’t seem to think he’s messed up though, gently taking his hands in yours and lowering them so you can look him in the eye. You’re all soft smiles and gentle words as you apologise to him, cutting off his insistence that you had nothing to apologise for by placing a finger against his lips, Lucifers voice disappearing in an instant. He watched you with wide eyes, captivated by you as you told him that you “hadn’t considered your feelings and I’m sorry for that. Just because I don’t care about my lack of experience doesn’t mean you feel the same and I should have realised that instead of continuing to try and start something and making you feel uncomfortable. I know now that you were worried that I might be pushing myself into it without really knowing what I was asking for but I am an adult Lucifer and I need you to realise that I wouldn’t have even considered sleeping with you let alone trying to initiate it if I didn’t think I was ready for that with you.” You say it so much better than he ever could, having a way with words that leave Lucifer feeling like he is on the edge of tears and yet full of so much joy he might burst from it.

There are so many things that Lucifer wants to say to you. Like how deeply he cares for you. How he would be willing to go as slow as you needed him to if it meant you felt safe and comfortable with him. How he wanted you in his life, however he could have you because you made it that much better, smile as bright as an angels grace that never failed to chase away the gloom that hung over him like a cloud. He doesn’t say any of that though, taking your hands in his as he declared “me to. I’m ready,” because he was. Lucifer was ready to take that next step with you, both inside and outside the bedroom.

The kiss you give him is chaste, but it doesn’t stay that way, your tongue sweeping across his lips. He parts them eagerly this time, welcoming the gentle cares of your tongue against his. The two of you should probably talk more but for now it seemed like the time for words was over, the months’ worth of denial finally catching up to you both. Lucifer follows you wordlessly when you scooch back onto the bed, his lips never far from yours as he climbs up onto the bed until he’s hovering above you. Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer so you can whisper in his ear, lips brushing teasingly against the sensitive shell of his ear when you ask him if he would “be my fist? There’s no one else I would rather it be. Please Lucifer, take it, it’s yours.” It sends a shiver down his spine, a long buried ache growing in his chest and pressing almost painfully against his rib cage. You’re offering him something precious, something that once given can’t be taken back. A part of yourself that will forever be his, a mark on your very soul that will never fade. It’s an honour that Lucifer would be a fool to refuse so he doesn’t, murmuring his devotion against your lips even as he slides a hand under the fabric of your pyjama shirt, deft fingers dancing across your stomach and up your side, your startled gasp like the start of a symphony written just for him.

Lucifer makes love to you that night. It’s the only way he can describe it. He’s slow, gentle, the two of you pressed as close you can get without it interfering with him slowly stripping your clothes off you, Lucifer enraptured by every inch of you that is revealed to him.

There’s something addictive about the little moans and gasps you let out as Lucifer explores your body with his hands and mouth. He liked the way your breath hitches when his fingers skim across the swell of your breasts and pinched gently at your hardened nipples. He craves the little gasps you make when he kisses his way down your body from your lips to your hips, nipping and sucking gently as he goes before soothing over the slight sting with a delicate kiss. You respond so beautifully to him, unashamedly vocal in your pleasure as you squirm in his hold, arching into his touch like you were chasing it. He’s already addicted to it, to you but there’s one thing he loved above all else, the most beautiful sound to fall from your parted lips and leaves him whimpering, desperate to hear it again and again.

“Lu...Luci…Lucifer! Please, I…oh gods, yes! Please. Lucifer I…LUCIFER!” It’s like music to his ears. A symphony of moans and gasps, his name falling from your lips like a prayer and all because his wicked tongue had made its way between your legs. Lucifer had moaned like a starving man when he had gotten his first taste of you, pressing his face as close to you as he could get. He had tried to go slow, aware that no one had ever done this for you before and he had started out like that, tentative and gentle as he tried to figure out what it was you liked and didn’t. As soon as he had started to figure it out though Lucifer was relentless, alternating between fucking his tongue into your tight cunt and sucking gently on your sensitive clit. He felt drunk on you, hungry to taste your climax on his tongue and desperate to know how loudly he can get you to scream his name. Hopefully loud enough that all of heaven will be able to hear.

Lucifer spent a while between your legs, his own neglected cock tenting his trousers and begging for attention. This wasn’t about him though. It was all about you, about your pleasure and Lucifer was all for denying himself when he got to listen to you fall apart on his tongue. He could happily stay there for hours, days even, feasting on your sweet nectar and listening to you cry out for him in pleasure filled desperation. Maybe another time, he didn’t want to overwhelm you, plus this was about what you wanted not him and from the way you were practically grinding against his face Lucifer could guess what it was you were after.

His fingers replaced his tongue, two slipping into you easily as his mouth latched onto your clit, licking and sucking on the little nub as he fucked his fingers into you. He knew that no matter how gentle he was with you it was going to hurt to some degree but the more relaxed and looser you were the easier it would be for you when Lucifer finally got to feel you around his cock. So, he worked another finger into you, his teeth nipping at the little bundle of nerves as you pressed down against the intrusion, moaning ever so sweetly at the stretch. It doesn’t take long for Lucifer to add a fourth finger or for you to clench down on them, crying out his name as you climax. Lucifer lets out his own moan, working you through it and lapping up your juices as they flow out around his fingers.

He works you through it, fingers slowing down till they were barely moving as his tongue drags across your opening. He stays there till you let out a little whimper, tugging at his hair as you press your hips back into the bed. Reluctantly Lucifer moves, not wanting to leave you feeling to overstimulate or overwhelm. It is only your first time together, first being the important word there because Lucifer plans on there being many more times in your future, maybe even again tonight. If he’s lucky.

Feeling how wet his chin is Lucifer doesn’t even think about letting his tongue snake out of his mouth, dragging across his chin and savouring every last drop of you, his eyes falling closed as he moans softly. Your choked off moan has his eyes snapping open, dragging his gaze up the naked expanse of your body until his eyes meet yours and the dark hungry look you give him as you stare at his mouth. Lucifer can’t help but smirk, lifting his still slicked fingered to his mouth. He watches you from under hooded eyes as he drags his tongue up them, slipping them into his mouth one by one so he can suck them clean.

He’s barely removed them from his mouth before you’re surging up to claim his lips in a bruising kiss, swallowing Lucifers startled moan as you pull him down slightly to meet you. It’s an interesting position, Lucifers thighs shoved under yours and an arm wrapped around your waist to help keep your balance whilst he cups your neck and jaw with his other hand. You don’t seem to care, weight braced on one arm and a hand buried in his hair. One of your legs is wrapped around his waist, pressing his hips down even as you raise yours up to meet him. It’s too much, Lucifer breaking away from the kiss with a gasp and a shudder. He stays close, forehead resting against yours as you breathe each other in, Lucifer shamelessly grinding against you like he had no self-control. He doesn’t, not when it comes to you and he probably would have carried on as he was, grinding against your core in a pale imitation of what he really wanted until he crashed over the edge and spilt inside his trousers like an inexperienced teenager if it hadn’t been for your breathy little “please” so desperate and wanton and Lucifer couldn’t wait a moment longer.

He gives you one last kiss, nipping gently at your bottom lip as he pulls away before shuffling off the bed. He’s already pushing down his pyjama bottoms before he’s even got one foot on the floor. It goes about as well as could be expected, Lucifers foot slipping as the other gets caught in the fabric. He goes down gracelessly with a thud, landing in a sprawling heap on the floor. It doesn’t deter him though, yanking the offending garment off and quickly jumping back up onto his feet only to find you kneeling at the end of the bed and looking down at him with concern. Lucifer laughs nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck and insisting that he was fine. There’s a beat of a second, a small pause as your eyes narrow slightly like you’re trying to figure out if he’s telling the truth. You must decide he is because you smile fondly at him, shaking your head slightly and rolling your eyes even as you offer him your hand.

He takes it gratefully, following you up onto the bed once more as you shuffle back to lay against the pillows. You are beautiful in your innocence, your bottom lip caught between your teeth and head turned slightly to the side, your eyes cast down in a display of shyness that hadn’t existed the rest of the evening. You’re led in a way that leaves you both on display and hidden all at once, your arms raised and gripping at the pillow under your head whilst your hips are slightly turned away from him, one leg over the other and bent at the knee. You look like a sacrifice, led across his deep red sheets with the dim glow of the candles flickering across your naked body and Lucifer feels every inch like the devil come to claim you as tribute. It doesn’t bother him as much as he had feared though, knowing you were here willingly, giving in to your own desire for him. It helps a lot, easing his worry and boosting his confidence because he knows you wouldn’t be here like this if you didn’t want to be.

Lucifers touch is gentle as he slides his hands up your legs, slowly moving you so he can crawl between your legs. As soon as he’s hovering above you, his weight resting on his hands either side your head, you wrap your arms around his shoulders, fingers slipping into his hair and guiding his head down to yours. He goes willingly, dropping his weight down onto his forearms as his lips meet yours in a slow and gentle kiss. All the desperation and hunger from before is gone, this kiss less about the desire you felt for one another and more about the love you feel for each other. Though neither of you had said it yet Lucifer knew it must be true. It was for him and if it wasn’t for you then it wasn’t far off.

The kiss ended when you shifted, his neglected cock rubbing against your stomach and reminding you both of the lust and need you felt for the other as it sparked back to life. Lucifer pulls away from you with a groan, head falling to rest on your shoulder as he calms himself down enough so that he doesn’t start rutting against you again. Something that isn’t helped by the fact you whisper in his ear that you’re ready, ever so sweetly begging “please Lucifer, I need you.” And oh, that does something for him, his dick twitching when you say you need him. He pulls back just enough to look you in the eye when he tells you it’s going to “hurt, just a little at the beginning but I promise it will feel so good after that, just, if it’s too much, tell me and I’ll stop. We don’t have to do this tonight, not if your umph.” You cut off Lucifers ramblings with a quick kiss, cupping his cheek as you tell him that you know and how you trust him. It brings tears to his eyes, ones you quickly wipe away, but he can’t help it. You are giving him such an amazing gift, trusting him with something precious and he’s overwhelmed by the trust you had put in him to take care of you. Maybe a little to overwhelmed if he was being honest.

Lucifer doesn’t want to admit how nervous he is about this part, but it surely must be obvious from the fact that he stares down at his dick for a good few seconds before he even thinks about moving into position. He knows he’s a lot bigger than the average human male, both in length and girth and though he spent quite a while making sure you were stretched, he fears that it might not have been enough. It’s your first time, Lucifer knows he’s going to hurt you despite everything he’s done to prevent it and unless he shoved a bunch of drugs down your throat that fact isn’t going to change but that doesn’t change the fact he feels almost guilty about it. This will be nothing but bliss for him whilst you have to suffer through the pain of him tearing you apart and forcing your insides to fit around him. It’s not fair, a flaw in Gods design but unfortunately there isn’t much Lucifer can do to rectify that.

The only thing he can do is go slow, checking you’re okay at regular points and stilling when you need him to. He is right though, sinking into you is heavenly. You’re warm and tight around him as he slides in torturously slow, his breath heavy as he watched your face for any sign he may be hurting you too much. He stops when he feels resistance, covering your face in kisses in between apologising for the pain that’s about to come. Your hands tighten where they’re curled around his shoulders, bracing yourself for what’s to come even as you urge him to continue. Lucifer kisses you, deep and hungry as he snaps his hips forward and breaks through your barrier, swallowing your pain filled cry. He thinks you might have drawn blood, your nails digging into his shoulders, but he doesn’t care, holding himself still as he kisses away your tears, waiting for your command to continue. It feels like an age before your nodding, your grip loosening on his shoulders and whispering that “it’s ok, you can move. Please Lucifer. I want this. I want you.” With one last kiss Lucifer promises that you have him, mind body and soul, from here until eternity. He doesn’t give you the chance to answer, pulling his hips back and sliding back in, your hitched little gasp the only answer he needs.

It’s slow going, Lucifer fighting the urge to just slam into you all in one go because fuck, he wants to be in you already, filling you up and making you scream as he fucks you hard and mercilessly. There a mantra of next time in his head, promising himself that next time he’ll fuck you harder, faster. Next time he’ll bend you this way and that to get the best angles and get even deeper, but not this time. This time is for slow and delicate, working you up gradually so it’s even sweeter when you fall apart around him. When he’s all the way in he stops again, giving you both time to adjust because even he’s a little overwhelmed by how tight a fit it is, how your body clings to him, your insides fluttering around him and making his cock twitch from the stimulation that he’s not even sure you know you are providing. It’s taken him at least ten minutes to get here, and he feels like he’s teetering on the edge of this being over embarrassingly fast. That’s the last thing he wants, to give you the impression that sex with him would be painful and quick, leaving you unsatisfied and disappointed. That is not the kind of lover he is and Lucifer refuses to ruin your first time all because he had the self-control of Gods first man.

That surprisingly helps, the thought of you and Adam together angering him enough that Lucifers able to drive back his impending orgasm. Your patience seems to have run out though, rolling your hips against his and dragging a low moan from between Lucifers parted lips. He nips at your lip, tells you to behave but all that gets him is a seductive smirk as you do it again. Lucifer closes his eyes, arms trembling as he holds himself as still as he can, letting you rock ever so slightly on his cock. It’s not enough to be anything other than a tease but Lucifer loves it all the same. He’s always prided himself on being able to please a lover, getting off on knowing he’s driven them to such exhilarating heights. If you were to use him as a living breathing sex doll then he would have no complaints, would probably even thank you for it because he was just that desperate to please. You have other ideas though, hooking a leg around his waist, foot pressing against his ass and urging him down as you roll your hips up to meet him. Your hands back in his hair, cupping the back of his head and keeping his head tucked into your neck. Your other arm is curled under his, hand gripping his shoulder tightly as you moan ever so sweetly in his ear, asking him to “move. Please I…I…please.” You cut yourself off with a desperate little whine, pushing your heel into the small of his back and pressing him as close as he could get.

Lucifer feels awful, having made you wait whilst he collected himself when clearly you were so desperate for him. He places lots of little kisses across your shoulder and up your neck to your jaw, apologising in between because he’s “so sorry I made you wait so long for me. Promise it won’t happen again. I’m going to take such good care of, give you everything you want and more.” He’s not just talking about now and hopes that you can understand that in your current state. For as long as you want him Lucifer swears that you will want for nothing, at your beck and call every hour of every day. He will treat you like a queen, might even make you one, one day but for now he’s going to start with this.

Lucifer starts off slow, your tight grip on him loosening enough that he can pull all the way back until his tips the only part of him left inside you. He presses back in just as slowly, both of you moaning at the feel of him pressing against your walls. Lucifer can’t help but lean in, his lips finding yours in a gentle kiss, his pace just as slow and languid as the kisses you exchange. He stays as close to you as he can, his chest pressed against yours and legs intertwined as he moves within you. There’s nothing hard or fast about it, his hips rocking gently in and out of you and slowly stoking the flames of desire that burned within you. It was intimate, Lucifer unable to call it anything other than making love because that was exactly how it felt to him. Just the two of you, so close that all you can feel is the other, all you could see each other, breathing in the other’s air and lips meeting in gentle and love filled kisses as your moans and gasps mix with the sounds of your gentle love making.

It was too much, yet not enough all at once, Lucifer feeling like he was going to fall apart at the seams at any moment. It’s been a while for him, even before Lilith had left and Lucifer had known there would be a possibility that he might not be able to control himself when with you. There had never been a doubt in his mind that bedding you would be anything other than spectacular, capable of reducing him to pathetic desperate mess but this? It feels too good, too much like divinity and Lucifer can feel his tentative hold on his form slipping, overcome by his own emotions as he losses himself in the moment, completely surrounded by you.

Praise falls from Lucifers lips in a mumbled mess of words, telling you that you’re “perfect. So good. Doing so well for me. You feel amazing sweetheart, so warm and tight. Fuck. So beautiful like this and all for me. Just me. Oh fuck. Yes!” in between sloppy kisses as he trailed his lips from your mouth to your neck and then back again, stopping occasionally to suck marks into your neck, the same part of him that had delighted in being your first practically glowing with delight at all the other residents of Hell being able to see his claim on you. Or that could just be the fact he was actually glowing, what remained of his heavenly light growing brighter the closer to his climax he got.

As much as he wanted this to last for eternity Lucifer could feel his orgasm getting closer and closer, the coil in his stomach tightening as your walls fluttered around him, pulling him back in and leaving him a moaning gasping mess on the edge of tears. He can’t put it off again, approaching his end to quickly for him to slow down now. Panting Lucifer rested his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes and giving himself over to his pleasure. He is not a selfish lover though and Lucifer refuses to let himself fall over the edge without you there with him. It takes a slight bit of manoeuvring, but Lucifer managed to get a hand between the two of you, his thumb rubbing against your clit and making you cry out almost loud enough for all of Hell to hear. It wasn’t an ideal position, being pressed so close to you but he didn’t want to move, didn’t want to stop touching your because if he did this might all disappear and he would find himself alone once more, that gaping black hole of loneliness too much for him to bare.

Lucifers climax hits him suddenly, his cry of pleasure muffled as he sinks his jagged teeth into the delicate skin in your neck. Vaguely he hears your answering scream, can feel you getting impossibly tighter around him but Lucifer is to lost to really notice, his vision going white as the room floods with light, the sound of wings flapping and something smashing all but a distant hum compared to the white noise ringing in his ears. Euphoric doesn’t even begin to cover how Lucifer feels in that moment. Rapturous maybe, possibly even heavenly. All Lucifer knows is that it feels right, like being welcomed home and loved unconditionally. He falls into it, into you with, with reckless abandonment, letting the feeling drag him under the roaring waves of bliss as they crash into him.

When Lucifer comes back to himself it’s to find that he’s laying half on top of you, his leg slung over yours, arm draped over your chest and head tucked underneath your chin. You’re humming softly along to the music still playing, arm wrapped around his waist as you card your fingers through his hair. He feels boneless, happy and satisfied in a way that he hasn’t for centuries. He’s so content in-fact that that he can’t help but hum, snuggling in closer and delighting in the little chuckle it gets him. It’s only then that he realises his wings are out, three of them half hanging off the bed and draping across the floor whilst the three on the other side are bent protectively over you, keeping you hidden and safe from the outside world whilst Lucifer himself was to out of it to do so.

He’s embarrassed by his lack of control, groaning loudly and trying to hide his face in your neck as he apologises for his lack of restraint even as he tried to justify it because “it’s eh been a while since I’ve, well since I’ve done that with anyone and you were, it was, I was just…” Thankfully you stop his ramblings, your fingers pressing on the underside of his chin so he will look up at you. You understand his reaction, even going as far as to tell him how flattered you are that it happened. It makes him blush even more, wings fluttering slightly but no more so then when you thank him, looking him in the eyes and sounding so sincere and serious when you tell him that you were “glad it was you.” He wants to shrug it off, insist that it was his pleasure, quite literally, but there’s something about the look in your eyes that stops him Lucifer instead reacting up to cup your cheek and telling you how honoured he was that you had given him such a gift and promising to treasure it and you for all eternity.

The two of you share a kiss, as soft and languid as your love making had been. Lucifer was happy to take his time, to spend at least the next hour wrapped in your arms and exchanging lazy kisses but it seemed you had other ideas, pulling away to yawn loudly. Lucifer waves off your apologies, insisting that he too is feeling quite tired considering the time and your choice of evening activities. He tries to move, tries to hide his wings and pull up the covers but you put a stop to that quickly, asking ever so sweetly if the two of you could stay like this, as long as it wouldn’t cause problems with his wings of course. Lucifers to stunned by the request to do anything then just nod, curling against your side and allowing his wings to shrink to a more manageable size that’s less likely to brake something else within his bedroom. Your hand returns to his hair, fingers gently toying with the strands at the base of his skull as you a wrap your other arm around him, slipping it under his bottom wing so you can gently stroke your fingers up and down his spine. He just about resists the urge to purr like a cat though he does find himself relaxing into it, sleep finding him quickly.

It’s nice, the two of you led in his bed and enjoying the afterglow of your love making. There’s no need for either of you to talk and though Lucifer knows that at some point you will need to, a whole lifetime of things still between you that will need addressing at some point, there is no rush. He’s forever grateful that you chose to stick by him despite his misguided attempt to preserve your virtue and as he drifts off to sleep in your arms Lucifer lets himself truly feel the happiness you inspire within him because that’s what he is, happy. Happier than he had been in a long time, and he hopes, with every ounce of his being, that he can hold onto that happiness until the end of time.

@viannasthings

@loquacious-libra

If anyone else would like to be tagged please do let me know.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar #reader insert #fem!reader #lucifer magne x fem!reader #lucifer morningstar x fem!reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x female reader #hazbin lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #you #lucifer morningstar x you #lucifer morningstar x female reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer magne x you #lucifer magne x reader

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aroacebkgo · 3 months

Note

Maybe some Percy Jackson HC’s or Hellva boss

idk

-🍼 anon

Helluva Boss Agere Headcanons!

A/N: This is only part one, and for this part I’m just doing my favorite characters. But I’ll do more characters in separate parts!

Characters: Blitzø, Moxxie, STRIKER!!! (MY FAV 💗💗💗)

BLITZØ-

Flip, with a little lean!! He’s mostly an age regressor, he needs some way to let out all that trauma and stress. His little ages are about 4-6.

He is VERY chaotic when he’s regressed, like even more so than usual. He’ll run around the IMP HQ, jumping on furniture, leaving his toys everywhere, etc.

Moxxie and Millie are his main caregivers, actually! He loves Stolas, even though he’d never admit it, but he doesn’t trust him enough at the moment to tell him something that vulnerable about himself.

When he’s a caregiver, he’s not really a suitable dad caregiver. He’s more like a silly, chaotic older brother or the uncle that’s fresh out of jail.

He likes to spoil littles, he thinks it’s cute when their faces light up and they start giggling.

Thinks it’s super funny to help littles prank their caregivers. He does this even when he himself is regressed too.

Like. Imagine Little!Blitzø hanging out with Moxxie’s and Millie’s little or something. That would be so chaotic pls.

He LOVES coloring, and he hangs his own drawings up himself. He draws horses a lot. He also gives some of the stuff he draws to his friends and caregivers.

MOXXIE-

Controversial opinion, but flip with a cg lean!! He’s responsible enough to be a caregiver, and he wants kids himself one day so this is good practice he thinks. He does regress sometimes in order to relieve some stress.

He does well with littles of all ages, but he finds that baby regressors are surprisingly the easiest! They aren’t hyper and chaotic like a lot of toddler or kid regressors. He just has to feed them, give them attention, make sure their hygiene is good, etc and it’s fine!

He’ll play his guitar and sing little songs! Maybe while Millie dances around and helps tell stories or sings with him or something.

Him and Millie do everything together, which includes taking care of a little, so if you ask Moxxie to be your caregiver, that’s going to include Millie as well.

He’s actually one of the best people to play pretend with, surprisingly enough. Like it takes him a while to get used to it and he’s not too good at making stuff up on the spot, but when he gets into it, he gets INTO IT.

When he’s little, he also still likes to sing and play his guitar.

He reads kids books a lot or those small little science books for kids.

Or books about history for kids.

He is a nerd. And I love that. Me too, Moxxie.

His caregiver is Millie, of course. And he CLINGS to her when he’s regressed, like hardcore clings. Will not let go of her and has to be at least holding her hand at all times.

STRIKER-

Okay I have a feeling this one is gonna be long. He’s my absolute favorite and I love him so so so so so so so so so so much.

I may or may not have the fattest crush on him.

ANYWAYS

Caregiver! He had absolutely no clue what age regression was before you told him about it, and it took him a while for him to warm up to the idea.

Like it took him a fat minute for him to fully process what it is.

He feels bad when he realizes you do it because of trauma, though.

Like…you had a bad childhood??? You were abused??? Do you want him to like…kill your parents for you…?

Cuz he will. You know he will.

You’re like the only person he feels any amount of sympathy for. It may take him awhile to get used to it, but when he does…MAN.

This guy is clingy and overprotective. If he notices you’re slipping at any time throughout the day, you’re immediately being carried or you have to hold his hand TIGHT for the rest of the day. He knows you’re vulnerable, and he knows it’s very dangerous in hell; obviously, it’s hell. And he wants to keep an eye on you at all times.

The first time you called him “dada”, he blushed. Not because of anything weird but because. Wow. You trust him and love him like that? Like…you care about him and see him as your protector? …Woah.

It takes him a bit to get used to parental nicknames, but he likes it nonetheless!

Does pretty much the same with any type of regressors, but because I’m projecting, I’m gonna say he likes the dependency of baby regressors.

He likes being leaned on and trusted and relied on. And when you’re regressed so deep like that, you need help with a lot of things, and he’ll do them for you.

Feels bad because he can’t be around a lot. He’s got an important and demanding job that he’s absolutely not letting a little baby like you witness.

#age regression #agere #helluva boss #helluva boss agere #Blitzø #blitzo x reader #Moxxie #Moxxie x reader #striker #striker x reader

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thefrogdalorian · 5 months

Text

Hello and welcome to my contribution to Dincember!

Following NaNoWriMo (which I used to complete a draft of a modern AU!Din x reader fic that I aim to start posting in January) I wanted to attempt another writing project to maintain my sanity during this festive period! I'm aiming to complete all 25 days but life can sometimes be unpredictable, especially at this time of year.

I really hope you enjoy my interpretations of each prompt and best of luck if you're also participating, can't wait to see what everyone creates. Thanks @dindjarindiaries for putting these prompts together, celebrating all things Din is a wonderful way to close out the year!

All my fics are GN!reader and I don't include physical descriptions. Nothing more mature than a bit of smooching either :)

Happy Dincember, tumblr!

Link to read on AO3 | Link to read in Chronological Order

Day 1 - Snow: After a busy few months, Din surprises you and Grogu with a well-earned retreat to a snowy paradise in the run up to Life Day. Snow-filled chaotic fun ensues!

Day 2 - Fire: During a trip to a peaceful cabin with Din and Grogu, you awake one morning and discover that Grogu is poorly. You and Din are extremely worried but after a visit from a healer and the warmth of the fire you light, his condition soon improves.

Day 3 - Gloves: As you sit watching Grogu play by the fire while holding hands with Din, you reflect on how a simple part of his body says so much about the complex man that you are so privileged to love. A simple pleasure that you would have been denied, if he had never removed his gloves.

Day 4 - Lights: You introduce Din to a favourite Life Day tradition of yours: hanging up lights. It's a tradition that he finds slightly bemusing but after a slight hiccup which is soon resolved, thanks to the abilities possessed by Grogu, the two of you set about making a cheesy new Life Day tradition all of your own.

Day 5 - Cold: After your favourite Mandalorian's latest assignment with the New Republic means that his return to your cabin is delayed, you head to bed, thoroughly miserable. But when Din finally arrives home the reunion does not go entirely smoothly, as you find yourself needing to warm him up, with adorable consequences.

Day 6 - Gifts: It's Life Day and time for you and Din exchange gifts. You love sharing in the joy of seeing others surprised with your gifts, but nothing surprises you more than the incredibly thoughtful gift Din gives to you.

Day 7 - Star: As you lie on Din's strong chest, looking at the stars and reflecting how grateful you are that your paths crossed, you discover once again, that the man with the fearsome reputation is incredibly soft underneath his hard Beskar shell.

Day 8 - Flame: A fire pit outside your little cabin on Nevarro has always been a dream of yours. So, when Din finally agrees to build one, you are delighted, especially when he secures your favourite sweet treats too. But it's Din's first time roasting candy on a campfire and things don't exactly go to plan...

Day 9 - Boots: Raising a Force-sensitive child is not an easy task, especially one as mischievous as Grogu. When the little guy decides to play a game of hide and seek without telling you and Din first, you find him in a place that you would never have expected.

Day 10 - Sweater: After his latest job with the New Republic takes him away from your home, you find yourself missing Din terribly. But, despite how sappy and lame as you feel for doing so, you find wearing his sweater brings you a great deal of comfort when you need it most.

Day 11 - Icicle: An innocent icicle causes Din to reminisce on a moment he shared with Grogu on the Razor Crest shortly after rescuing The Child from the Imps on Nevarro.

Day 12 - Warmth: After you find yourself caught up in a rainstorm that drenches you to the bone on the forest planet you call home, an unexpectedly kind Mandalorian helps you to get warm again.

Day 13 - Family: Din Djarin is a complex man, with many walls you have not yet successfully broken down. You have been slowly building a life with the man who has a traumatic past he has alluded to, but never discussed in detail. One night, Din wakes up from a nightmare and finally lets you in. You comfort him, reminding him of your love for him and how much he deserves his unlikely family.

Day 14 - Home: During a moment cuddling with Din underneath the festive lights in your cabin, Din confides in you what home means to him.

Day 15 - Candle: Despite planning a special evening to mark your final night in the cabin that you, Din and Grogu have enjoyed a relaxing vacation in, your plans are soon thwarted by an unexpected power cut. However, the sudden loss of light ends up having very romantic consequences.

Day 16 - Sweet: After a tiring day of yard work, you decide to introduce Din and Grogu to one of your favourite festive drinks: hot chocolate. Although the sweetness proves a little too much for one of your Clan.

Day 17 - Joy: Despite you and Din having plans to go to a special festive market with Grogu, you wake up feeling awful, as though all festive cheer has been sucked out of you. Fortunately, you have a loving and caring Mandalorian who helps you regain your joy.

Day 18 - Snowflake: As Din stands by the window, watching the snow fall outside your cabin in the mountain paradise he brought you to for a vacation, he reveals a hilarious memory of his first encounter with snow to you. One that you are keen not to let him forget in a hurry.

Day 19 - Coat: You and Din arrive for a vacation in a picturesque snowy mountain town. There's just one problem: you brought the wrong coat. You head into town in search of the perfect coat but after a long day of fruitless searching, fortunately you have an incredibly patient and attentive Mandalorian to help you through the shopping stress.

Day 20 - Celebration: To show Din how much he means to you, you decide to make a special gesture in celebration of him by cooking him a traditional Mandalorian feast. Despite having your heart set on a perfect evening, a certain green child has other ideas...

Day 21 - Love: Despite how much time you have been spending with Din and getting to know him, you are still none the wiser as to whether your feelings for him are reciprocated. But an impromptu night of stargazing leads to a confession that may just change everything for the two of you...

Day 22 - Cozy: When Grogu wakes up upset in the middle of the night, both you and Din are concerned for him. But getting cozy and cuddling with his Clan soon brightens the little boy's mood.

Day 23 - Frost: You and Din wake up one morning to discover the volcanic planet you call home has been plunged into a deep frost. You are awestruck by the gleaming ground and the icy crystals that cling to every surface. You and Din decide to head out for a walk with Grogu, who is fascinated by the way his favourite pond has frozen over.

Day 24 - Ice: The unseasonably weather on Nevarro causes a pond to freeze and thanks to a stroke of good luck, a passing vendor is able to offer the opportunity to skate on it. You expect that Din will be a natural, but things do not go entirely to plan.

Day 25 - Holiday Waking up before Din on Life Day gives you the opportunity to admire all the little details and features of the man you love so much.

#do you like my moodboard i feel like i'm 12 again (in the best way)#life is full circle but you gotta get through The Horrors somehow #dincember #dincember 2023 #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian fic #my fics #masterlist #pedro pascal characters

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nunalastor · 1 month

Note

I just posted this for my friends on discord, figured I can share:

'plot idea just plopped in my head: Charlie, Alastor, Lucifer and Vaggie meet some Goetia noble, their imp recognizes Alastor, these two hit it off, some catastrophe happens and Alastor helps his new fan, the imp is fired, Alastor offers help and new job at the hotel

(he's a SUCKER for his fans, you can fight me on this. also we saw him with Mimzy. If he likes you, you can get anything from him, loser-style)

but the imp has a family, a BIG family, and long story short, there's about 200 imps living next to the hotel now.

Afterwards, Alastor realises Lucifer and imps are similar in height and has the best day of his life (while trying to explain why he hired so much help for a hotel with 10 residents)

it's kinda OOC, Alastor would LOVE to be this chaotic, but it makes him too nice, so no'

imagine imps running around the hotel, and Alastor dying from Lucifer simply standing next to taller imps (his tentacles's trying to steal Lucifer's hat)

👀

#hazbin hotel #alastor #headcanon #nunalastor asks

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thiccowlladylife · 6 months

Text

Oh shit, Mammon episode dropped! Time for some spicy thoughts!

Good:

-Mammon's design is... Okay? Not exactly the best design of a fat person, but I like that he's not red (he even goes through different clothes like a real person, holy shit!), and this is probably the only character where the chaotic details work well for his whole clown-theme

-it handles issues of stalkers and exploitation in entertainment with a modicum of respect (not that it does it well, exactly, but it's an effort, which is more than the show's done for other touchy issues)

-A decent-ish relationship conflict between Ozzie and Fizz? Still blowing Moxxie and Millie outta the water right now

-SIGN-LANGUAGE IMP KID (all things considered, the show is handling physical disabilities surprisingly well!)

-Not Fizz being relatable with his anxieties and sense of impostor syndrome (I'm pretty sure someone else wrote this episode because Viv has never handled topics like this well on her own)

-Spider Mammon? Spooder? SPIDEY??? Noice.

-Awesome Fish-Twin designs; they're nice one-off villains

-Better musical numbers in this episode than the last few ones combined

Bad:

-whyisheaustralianWHYISHEAUSTRALIANWHYISHEAUSTRALIAN (I do not care for his voice; it is the shittiest most stereotypically bad accent I've ever seen)

-I'm seeing some more toxic, possessive traits of Ozzie coming out (looks like no relationship in this show can actually have conflict without being exploitative)

-Mammon has a low-key spider motif going on? So, he's fat, a bug, and overindulges in everything (food included) to the max...? Why does he seem like a better Beelzebub/depiction of Gluttony than Queen Bee/the show's actual depiction of Gluttony?

-Blitzø feels extremely shoe-horned into this episode... Also, he's not one to talk to Fizz about how Mammon talks to him, considering his whole... Thing with Stolas

-speaking of Stolas, I know the whole Ozzie revealing his love publicly (as sweet as it was) is totally gonna springboard more Stolitz shit in later episodes...

On an unrelated note, apparently Wally Wackford ain't Mammon like I theorized... My next best guess is that he's Satan's imp-sona. Not that I care enough to keep watching!

That being said... I'm done. Not exactly a highlight to end the show on, but it certainly ain't a complete shit show like the rest of the season has been. But I ain't watching anymore. I'll keep an ear out for info on later episode drops, but it's hard to be a fan, even critically, when the quality is this bad, and the only positive side of the fandom shreds apart anyone who critiques it.

If anyone needs me, I'll be playing with my OCs and AUs like dolls on here, and waiting for Hazbin to drop next year!

See ya later! Byee!

#helluva boss #helluva critical #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva criticism #helluva critique #helluva boss critique #vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical

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jennrypan · 3 months

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Who are you really? (WAYR): First serial killer au, where Scourge and Sonic are brothers and they're dating Amy and Shadow who are detectives.

WAYRA PT2: Same as on top but the couple isn't together, but Amy isn't a detective but Shadow is, and Sonics obsessed with him. Scourge and Sonic go after crime cuz cops aren't doing what they should. They also have Silver and Blaze as their adopted siblings-- (failed by the adoption center. Place my minds going-- but yeah lmao.)

Can't Quit. (CQ): Sonic being a retired seriel killer and trying to be normal but he can't even though he's married with a whole child and now he has to act like he's not going back to doing crazy shit so he doesn't lose Shadow or his kid.

Haunted: Sonic is Scourges cousin in this, Scourge comes from a pretty crazy ass family and he got moved around a lot. They use to be close as children but Scourge is kinda. Demonic?? I forgot- he could control metal to some degree cuz his dad was a Satanist of some kind it was WILD (and that's actually kinda canon to my Scourge lore lol) but yeah. Along the way he killed his family and was hunting Sonic cuz he wanted everyone in his family dead. Sonic manages to get the slip on him (after Scourge stabs him in the eye) and stabs Scourge in the neck) but instead of dying. Scourge comes back and haunts him. Theres-- so much to this one, this one is wild lmao

Deadly Sins / Keeping up with the Sins: The Sonic cast as the Seven Deadly sins but with my oc cuz I can. Anyways. RX (Oc): Pride, Scourge: Lust, Shadow: Wrath, Mephiles: Greed, Knuckles: Gluttony, Manic: Sloth. Bruh I forgot who was envy i-- . Silver??? I know Mephiles was a huge prick, and Sonic was an imp / who's too good to be a Demon but too shitty to be an angel 💀

EVOLVE (Based on a song): I created this au after watching TMNT 2012, that scene where Raph and Leo fight in the rain-- and it expanded from there. Shadow, Sonic, and Scourge were created as bio weapons basically by their fathers Dominique (Human Black Dooms name) and Lucifer. Scourge got the worst of it cuz his powers are more chaotic/destructive while Sonic is the favorite child of Lucifer while Shadow is Doms best creation. Sonic and Shadow trained together and they developed a crush, and Sonic decided to help him and then. They escaped (leaving Scourge cuz Sonic thought he couldn't help him :((.) It's very angsty, has..three endings. Scourgamy is included ofc ofc.

Sonic has the ability to multiply himself, turn gold and use super speed, Shadow has various shadow manipulation abilities, can teleport and can send things away, Scourge has the ability to destroy and decay things, along with create illusions. This au is. Fun--

This are the ones I can remember that are more lore based- @bellamer

Also these are mostly human aus where their human names are.

Marcus (Sonic), Marcel (Shadow) Jason (Scourge)

#j.p speaks #sonic aus #sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #i could..info dump SO much about these aus lol #i love these!!#where did all my creativity go!?!

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theguywithaoriginalname · 9 months

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Terraria has got to be the most funniest and chaotic game i have played (also spolier warning ig!!!), you start the game, make a character, create a world and then you're just plopped in there. No tutorial, nothing. You see some dude with brown (i think) hair and just press right-click, see a dialogue option labelled 'help' and think "oh! this gotta be how to go to the tutorial!" and NOPE! Think again fucker 'cause you better chop some wood and build a house because the night is dangerous (OoOoOoOh very spooky). So, you look up "Terraria Beginner Guide" (or something along the lines of that) and y'know you just get going, build houses, explore the underground, maybe built a hellevator, and you even built an arena (im so proud)! Then suddenly the text "You feel an evil Presence watching you" pops up and you know that you better get to your arena 'cause its very spooky big eyeball time (hooray).

So after you beat the very big Eye of Cthulu you get some loot, fast forward to The Wall of Flesh. This is it. The final challenge in Pre-Hardmode. The Gate to see if you have what it takes to go to Hardmode. And now, it begins. After you throw the doll of the person who pranked you out of a Tutorial into the lava below, you hear a roar, before a wall made out of flesh with two huge Eyeballs and a gaping wide Mouth comes at you. It was a great battle, with you seemingly being at equal with the giant fleshy wall. You threw everything you got at it: Bullets, Fire, Ice, even that Imp you found on the street. Ater a long Battle with many Hardships, you won. But only now....

The Fun really begins.

Oh, you thought that you could go out at night? Think again fucker, mf-ing Werewolves. You thought that Molten Armor/ Meteorite Armor was gonna protect you? Dont make me laugh. "Atleast I have my NPCs?" Wrong! You feel vibrations from deep below. Hardmode is the game's most challenging part imo, because not only is everything new, but also beefier, stronger, and more annoying to deal with. Oh, there's also a new Biome where, you guessed it! Everything kills you! It isnt as bad if you're more experienced and prepared alot of stuff, but unfortunately, most newer Players dont do that, and I've even seen some leave permanently because dying constantly wasnt fun anymore. But we dont quit, do we? No. Because our Mamas didnt raise us to be quitters! Uhh motivational quote, yadda yadda yadda etc. So. you actually persist, get better gear, and even kill a mechanical boss! So you get better weapons and gear, kill another Mechanical Boss and the last one is now dead. So you get clorophyte (No i will not look up how it's spelt and i really couldnt care less), get better-er gear and fight Plantera. This pink plant bitch is probably one of the best bosses in the game, and i am sad that it has some of the worst loot in the game imo. anyways, you unlock the temple, kill golem (Man Re-logic really need to buff this dude) get better-er-er gear and fight the lunatic cultist. Kill him, get the only drop (Man Re-logic really need to buff this dude's loot) and fight the celestial pillars. cool, you can now make weapons from SpAaAaAaaAAaace. Each of which correspond to a class (Solar=Melee, Vortex=Ranged,Nebula=Mage,Stardust=Summoner). but suddenly, the screen gets darker and more wonky, the music is gone and then,

The Moon Lord has Awoken!

Out of bloody nowhere, the final boss is here. The Final Challenge. The Wall between you and the End. After having improved so much and died so much, like, WOW those are alot of deaths, you are at the final blockade. And after a battle you will remember forever, you come out on top, victorious. You are at the top of the 2d Mountain. You have beaten everything. You have beaten

Terraria.

#holy fucking shit #this took so long #its like 4am #i dont even know if there was a tutorial or not #terraria #oh thank god it's over #just wait till you find out about calamity

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veil-over-miitopia · 1 year

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A brief look at the magic system of Miitopia

There are three major types of magic in the world of Miitopia; Natural (Mages, Elves, Flowers), Divine (Clerics), and Chaotic (Imps, Vampires). It is to be noted that the “natural” type of magic is the most common of the three; it is a lot easier for Miis to be in-tune with the world around than the abstract powers governing their everyday lives, and, even then, gaining the favor of a god is a lot harder than delving into the world of shadowy magic with the assistance of demons and jinni.

It should also be noted that there isn’t much of a “rock-paper-scissors” sort of deal with these powers in-game, and that is because each and every one of these powers exist in order to keep the balance of life at a necessary stasis; too much light can burn you to a crisp, too much darkness can crush you from inside out, and the overexposure of either of them will result in blindness. This is even reflected with the symbols of the Guardian and the Dark Curse respectively- they both represent what you have to do in order to progress through the overabundance of their own elements.

Outside of these supernatural forces, there are also the practical and mechanical jobs. Jobs under the “practical” label rely only on their skills and physical might in order to achieve their goals (Warriors, Cats, Princesses), while those under the “mechanical” label utilize machinery instead (Thieves, Pop Stars, Chefs, Scientists, Tanks - in the most extreme case -). After all, not everyone is lucky enough to be able to tune into magical forces, but this shouldn’t dissuade mankind from progressing any further and develop ways to make life just a little easier for everyone. (Magitek from Final Fantasy moment)

As you progress through the game, the balance between all these powers and how they allow life to flourish become evident, as you start to see the natures of each job coincide with one another; Warriors utilizing chaotic magic using Dark Eye Slash, Pop Stars using divine magic as they put their Angelic Voice to good use in order to bring back their comrades, and let us not get started with the Vampires’ list of skills - else we’d be here for some time -. These are not the best examples, but they do help with painting the picture of the harmony between powers.

These supernatural forces even managed to shape most areas of Miitopia itself, depending on the strength of their influences over each area; the residents of Realm of the Fey heed the forest and regard it as a deity giving them life (natural), Peculia does not make a wink of sense and even becomes darker as you venture through it- literally and figuratively (chaotic), and the Skyscraper/Otherworld is closest to the gods’ abode (divine). You could also say that Nimbus definitely falls under the Mechanical label, GH is under the Practical one, and Neksdor miiiiiiiiight be of Divine nature.

#Miitopia #Theories;#Rambling;#Queue;#(I am gonna be busy for both today and tomorrow- so I wrote this yesterday in advance)#(hence why this appears to be quite rushed)

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sketchfanda · 3 months

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A Little Moxxie Love:Hot Mama

It's a known fact that it wasn't easy being a parent but especially a single one. Now try of course being a single parent when you were born, raised an living in Hell of all places, especially within the Pride ring, home to such chaotic metropolis beacons such as Imp City and Pentagram town. Yeah just about sucks doesn't it? For one infernal single mama of course, who for the sake of convenience, let's call her Janine, it was what it was.

That is to say it was a mundane drag and that was just in regards to the part time job she worked, just some atypical 9 to 5 bullshit office putting up with annoying phonecalls, catty bitches and sexist, chauvinistic assholes. To say nothing of the odd crap she would go through, sure hell wasn't the nicest place to be, but it'd be just grand to not have some ill tempered hellhound come along the fuck out of nowehre and punt her baby, right?? Shit was fucked up around here to say the least but that's not to say she didn't have things that made it all the more manageable for her. Case in point as she had just finished putting the kid to sleep, making her way over to her bedroom quiet as can be so as to not disturb the little tyke.

Soon as she her door closed, she checked the time on her alarm clock as a sense of anticipation coursed through her very being. Stripping down to being as naked as the day she was born as she parked herself on the edge of her bed, looking out her window as she made sure the shadowy darkness kept her well hidden. The apartment was about as good as you could get in Imp City on her salary of course but for someone with 3 kids, it did the job. But for her personally, one of the best things was the view she got from her bedroom window and with good reason.

Right on cue like clock work, there they were as her window had the prefect view of the apartment across the way. Allowing her to especially see when the couple next door would be going it, an oh so lovely imp pair so very much in love....and going right at it like every goddamn day was their honeymoon. It made her envious and jealous alike but she couldn't hate them for it, especially when they always gave such a good show. Licking and biting her lips sensually as she could see them making out in their bedroom, currently stripped down to their underwear.

She could feel a waterfall form between her legs, as she reached for her dresser drawer and fished out what had been her personal favourite sex toy purhcase to date. Ozzie's best seller, the Brand M Imp model dildo, a fine little piece of length and girth to come off of the assembly line as she began to use it. Probing and rubbing the tip against her moist slit as she continued to indulge in her voyeurism, watching as Moxxie and Millie made out, their heavy petting oozing sensual erotic energy as they stripped one another to be fully nude. Janine's arousal skyrocketing as she wondered would this be one of those nights that it'd be just one of them one on one?

Or would this one of those occassions where they'd have a little extram company? Oh the women she's seen join M&M in the comfort and passion of their bedroom, from that familiar moody looking hellhound to an Ars Goetia and more than their fair share of succubi to say the very least. At one point she could swear she saw the infamous Daemon sisters and Verosika freakin' Mayday, goddamn did those two really get around!! To say nothing of how fucking hot it was to see them all get taken to Satisfaction Avenue and back, riding that big sexy alpha male cock over and over....the absolute raw sexual thrill.

Just as she was reminiscing of course, Janine made sure not to lose focus as she saw the M&M couple going right at it, putting horny college kids to shame with the passionate honeymoon rutting energy they were giving off. Ramming and pumping her dildo into her gushing wet netherlips in tune and sync with the jackhammering thrusts Millie was getting from that absolute unit of an Imp the wrath shortstack called her husband. How many times had she cum to this, just thinking, dreaming of just once of what it would be like to have one night of passion with that absolute unit imp. To become another notch on his belt of conquests even just for one night and feel like she'd be ruined for other men, it was enough to make her cum.

Such was her lust driven haziness that the single hot mama had to wonder if there moments she'd been imagining things, like how it seemed like Millie could see her. Like the wrath imp knew they were being watched, as if she had a sixth sense, some innate radar that could sense when someone like Janine lusted for her man. Shooting her a sly wink and a smile whenever she seemed to be looking her way as Moxxie took her doggy style, or rode him cowgirl or seated lotus. But that couldn’t be, just had to be Something she was imagining from orgasmic haze, right?

That’s what she kept telling herself of course as she finished her secret voyeurism session, drifting off into the sweet embrace of sleep atop her sweat stained bedsheets. Her juice soaked dildo laying beside her as she found herself enjoying kinky dreams about Moxxie rocking her lonely single mom world, ensuring she had a more than decent slumber. Unaware of course that a certain kinky wrath imp was going to make her fantasies a reality in ways she couldn’t imagine. Thinking only that her daily routine would be set of its usual rinse and repeat routine like today snd every other day before that.

It seemed to be the case at first, wake up and shower, breakfast for herself and her precious little tyke, drop him off to daycare if a sitter wasn’t available then the usual 9 to 5 grind. Only to find a note pinned on her apartment door with a knife, the post-it marked with a lipstick kiss as it read that if she wanted to more than just watch? Just come to the address written on it, and it was signed M, unholy shit had Millie actually caught her in the act? Wait was she actually inviting her over?

Then again what else could be said when the note gave her a time to show up at, was that imp seriously going to let her sleep with her husband? On the one hand this was suspicious but on the other could she really pass this up? It was all she had going through her mind as she went about her day, the minutes and hours both seeming to fly by yet move at a snail’s pace all at once but when work finished and she picked up her baby from daycare, she made her decision. Carpe diem as they would say, as she managed to get one of her neighbours to sit and watch her kid, as she found herself making her way to the apartment building next door, coming to stop in front of Moxxie and Millie’s place and knocked.

Millie:*The shortstack kinky wife of Moxxie answered, opening the door to greet Janine with nothing on her but a pretty little gap-tooth smile and a silky sleeping gown. Her golden imp eyes twinkling with excitement as they seemed to drink in the taller demon MILF from head to toe, as if mentally undressing her and liking what she saw.* "Ooh you're even better looking up close. C'mon c'mon in, don't wanna keep 'im waiting too long now.."*The saucy imp babe spoke with eagerness as she took Janine by the hand and lead her inside, closing the door behind them. Bringing her right with her to what could only be their bedroom, reminding the lonely single mama that this would be a first to be in the same place she watched the sex lives of these two happily married, horny imps.*

Janine:"L-listen, can I just explain say that.."*The hot demon MILF attempted to speak up, trying to explain and apologize for her being a peeping Tom. That she just couldn't help herself, watching the hottest sex she'd ever witnessed outside of porno featuring the likes of Angeldust but Millie didn't seem to mind or care. It seemed the idea someone like her was getting off watching Moxxie and her go at it was a real turn-on for her, as they soon found themselves in the bedroom. Greeted with the sight of Moxxie sitting on the bed wearing a set of noise cancelling headphones and a blindfold and of course that glorious length and girth of his out in the open, standing stiff and rigid as a flagpole and looking like he could hammer nails into solid steel or concrete with it.*

Moxxie:*Looks around, no doubt curious and slightly concerned as he could sense their presence somewhat.* "MIllie? That you? Do I still need this on or you still prepping that surprise of yours?"*The sweet little possum enquired, no doubt unaware of what his kinky lady love had in store for him. Janine putting two and two together even as she found herself ogling that COCK, its twitching and flexing pulse beckoning her like a siren call, demanding her to present herself like the bitch in heat she was. The MILF jumping with a slight masochistic delight as she felt Millie slap her ass, looking at the Imp babe who grinned with lust, licking her lips as she gestured for her to go on right ahead. The single mom blushing as she realized this was indeed happening, she was being granted permission and access and Millie wanted a show.*

She didn’t need to be asked or told once, let alone twice as the hot mama proceeded to strip down until she was fully naked, Millie licking her lips with erotic excitement at seeing the sticky wetness glistening between her thighs. Making her way over with every step making her tits and ass jiggle like jello as she she knelt down before the hearing and sight deprived Imp stud, breathing in the raw scent emanating from that alpha male cock. Pussy gushing and drooling with nectar just how many other women this fuckhammer stuffed and plowed, now she was about be the latest one. Grasping it firmly in her hands as he gasped at the sudden contact, more so when Janine began to stroke it and assault it with licks and kisses.

Before the hot mama knew it, things escalated as she soon herself getting a deep, hard and powerful facefuck, hands grasping Moxxie’s toned thighs for dear life as the imp sex machine held her by the horns. His length and girth jackhammering away into her mouth as she got an oral preview to what of experience her pussy was going to be on the receiving end of, as the aforementioned slit gushed snd quivered. Dribbling onto a growing puddle on the floor as her throat bulged from the size of his penetrating shaft as Millie watched on, naked as well as she rammed her brand M dildo into her own sloppy pussy. As always watching her man rock some pretty little thing’s world got her going Something fierce.

Fierce was certainly how Janine was feeling right about now just when she thought the blowjob had been orgasmic, the moment that cock got into her pussy? Oooh her world was shaking so hard, it’d be akin to a hellquake as the bed shook and creamed from Moxxie fucking her, as she rode him cowgirl style. Her ass smacking on his hips as she bounced on that shaft, feeling those balls smack the outer rim of her netherlips as he bucked and plowed away like the pornographic jackhammer he was. She’d never thought of ever having another kid but with how damn good this stud was making her feel?

She would damn well gladly have another, a whole army from him even, due to just how damn good this cock felt as orgasms hit her so many times that she couldn’t keep count. The pleasure only levelling up not just from any and every position shift but more so when Millie went and added herself into the mix. The kinky lady love of the infernal sex god showing that there was a good reason why they had so many women over at this apartment getting their asses tapped by Moxxie. Well besides the fact he was one hell of a sex machine of course.

It was an easy bet to say that Janine didn’t let this little encounter be a one time thing as she more than happily accepted Millie’s unspoken offer to be another regular booty call for her man. Especially when the horny little minx always ensured that Janine’s tyke would always be in the care of a sitter, leaving her free to get her regular dose of vitamin Mox. Yeah life in hell as a single demon mom wasn’t easy but for Janine? Getting the best fuck of your life made it that little bit sweeter, and how sweet it is.

#sketchfan #sketchfanda #sketchfan85 #helluva boss #moxxie #millie #helluva millie #helluva moxxie #moxxie helluva boss #millie helluva boss #loona #loona helluva boss #helluva loona #demon mom helluva boss #aeolus06 #hazbin hotel #hellverse

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mmmmalo · 2 years

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Slurquest

This is an exploratory post proposing several approaches for apprehending Homestuck (Alternia in particular) in terms of racism and homophobia. Results vary.

For various reasons, I feel the frameworks are best introduced through analogous microcosms. I have a nascent personal canon of films which are not* referenced in Homestuck, but which nonetheless function as potent paratexts for the apprehension of its narrative constructs. The foremost member is Forbidden Planet, a film involving a machine that draws the violent fantasies of a man's dreams into reality, creating monsters that enact his otherwise repressed anger. SBURB deploys a similar mechanism: the game's boot log concludes with the phrase "launching manifestation systems", and accordingly we later see that imps, ogres, and trolls are all born from psychological fissures in a given player, manifesting from the emergent anxieties of the people they target. Comparing the content of an altercation with the (apparently traumatic) event that preceded it (and therefore induced it) offers a peek into the pathologies of the triggered**/accosted characters. Eg ogres climb up the side of the house immediately after John experiences vertigo, indicating a deep-seated fear of falling.

* afaik

** No, we are not using "triggered" as a pejorative. Not yet at least. And when we do, it won't be the way you think.

Recently my canon gained another entry: John Carpenter's Halloween. It share with Homestuck a love of "misrepresentation", in both its playfully duplicitous and racially fraught senses, as well as a certain preoccupation with paranoia.

Halloween (1978) is about a masked man (Michael), recently escaped from an insane asylum, stalking and killing the suburban teens of his hometown. Michael's former psychologist (Loomis), firmly persuaded that Michael is the very embodiment of Evil, refashions himself as a hunter and lies in wait with a gun at Michael's childhood home. The home, abandoned and left to rot after a young Michael murdered his sister there on a past Hallows' Eve, has come to be regarded by locals as a "spook house"; trick-or-treaters dare eachother to brave its haunted steps. The unseen Loomis seeks to deter these tiny trespassers for their own safety. But the deterrence method Loomis chooses is strange: he puts on a Big Black Guy voice and, feigning ownership of the homestead, tells the kids to get lost. Elsewhere in the film, a bit of set dressing echoes this choice: in the midst of an otherwise pristine suburb of green grass and bleached white houses, we glimpse of a patch of black graffiti on the sidewalk that simply says EVIL. An impression begins to form that the metanarrative rationale for describing Michael as a bogeyman, for insinuating that beneath his white mask is a formless shadow, is that despite Michael's whiteness, he functions as a vehicle for racialized fantasies of invasion. The insane asylum, seen only at night, represents the chaotic city. Michael's presence brings the night to the suburbs, and with it all the urban terrors (black) from which the suburbanites (white) thought themselves insulated. Spooky!

While there might be an edifying function to this deception (I came away from the film with a deep contempt for the fear mongering psychologist, personally), I mostly tend to think of Halloween as a good, mean prank: like Caliborn disguising his king as a queen and relishing Calliope's outsized responses to its impotent threats, Carpenter crafts a black killer ensconsed in white and proceeds to giggle at the viewership's unwitting investment in a racist narrative for which Carpenter himself holds no sympathy -- or so I imagine, believing as I do that such a game would be in accord with the spirit of Halloween's mischievious namesake.

( I sometimes wonder if James Cameron was playing a similar game when he cast a white man named SCHWARZENEGGER as the face of an imminent genocidal uprising of once subservient machines. But anyway )

Betty Crocker is only the surface of Hussie's engagement with conspiracy. Homestuck, like Halloween, is built upon veiled allusions to reactionary paranoia. John's vertigo is relative; what John perceives as a "fall" can be fruitfully reframed as "the ascent of that which was once below". John takes note of an increasingly grim Rose's ascent to power and roleplays a return to gender norms ("ironically" of course), soothing the vertigo of social mobility with the image of Sleeping Beauty. Alternia, though ostensibly located in the unthinkably distant past, in turn functions as a reactionary nightmare vision of the future: it is a world dominated by BLACKS and HOMOS, and therefore post-apocalyptic. This is evinced by Homestuck's playful self-censorship: the story contains various euphemisms for n*ggers and f*ggots, through which the racism and homophobia become associated with a more familiar medium for paranoia, the casts' anxious regard toward the fourth wall. The denotation of slurs, therefore, will be our organizing principle.

Part A: Racist Slurs

Gamzee uses "ninja" as a sugar free "nigga" in the Epilogues; terms of endearment like "my ninja" and the like. As it turns out, this usage can be projected backward into the early acts: the phrase "NINJA SWORD" acts as a euphemism for "N-WORD", such that Dave hurling his blade at a crow can represent hurling slurs at a black person (It just slipped out. Dave is distraught). That a flock of crows would later, in a dream, represent for Dave the innumerable portals of the 4th wall through which he observes himself is thus consistent with the racial connotations of the term "peanut gallery"*, which was invoked in Act 1 to describe John's "allergy" (ie fear) of the judgemental gazes of others. The allergy joke is followed by an early hint of Her Imperious Condescension (a "Hi-C" commercial), a villain with black speech affectations whose title connects her to the peanut gallery's scorn, and who is eventually defeated by a NINJA SWORD**.

* The peanut gallery is also racialized via allusions to Charles Schultz's Peanuts: Snoop Dogg's visage watermarks the proceeding when John is commanded to Snoop on Rose (1693), and the resident Brown Charlies (Barkley and Duttle) are presented as a philosophical visionary and a dreaming prophet, respectively (1706, 2988).

** Technically it's Dirk's UNBREAKABLE KATANA, but the pejorative-encoding of "ninja sword" transfer to the "anime sword" preferred by Act 6.

So racial minorities are associated with the gaze of the audience, peeking in from the 4th wall -- a motif originating in Problem Sleuth, where the literal 4th wall of Problem Sleuth's office was peppered with the eyes of minorities, faces on a mural celebrating racial diversity. The veiled pejorative of NINJA SWORD channels aggression (and other emotions) towards both concepts.

Another paratext, this time embedded in Homestuck: Deep Impact, for which John has a poster, is about fears of white replacement. An early scene takes care to associate the word "waves" with both the soundwaves of black musicians (Elle Fitzegerald, Duke Ellengton [sic]) and tidal waves (yet another ELE, the "Extinction Level Event" which drives the film). The film's black president and his prodigious voice* are thus presented as existential threats on par with the imminent flooding of the Earth, recontextualizing various responses to watery doomsday as abstracted reactions to the rise of black people in America. Homestuck draws upon this association of blackness and water, beginning with the Lalonde household (where the lights are out and the air is filled with the sound of running water), continuing in Barkley's association with oceans and "dunking", and perhaps culminating in the black-affecting Condesce's flooding of the Earth. In the middle though, we have Alternia, which is a somewhat drier fantasy of a world overtaken by blackness. 3 points:

1. The highest echelons of Alternian society are black-coded, and rap is an aristocratic art form.

Gamzee and Equius makes this difficult to miss, but a subtler point is that this cultural ascendance makes blackness aspirational: Karkat, for example, seems to express racial envy (like gender envy, but for black people).

Gamzee manifests after Karkat looks over his Thresh Prince poster, implying that Gamzee's presence as a black-ish voice is an elaboration on Karkat's feelings toward Troll Will Smith. It might seem odd that despite Karkat calling Smith his hero, he expresses nothing but contempt for Gamzee's mode of speech. But admiration and hostility are reconciled by envy*. Karkat's irritation towards Gamzee's miracles (ie being dazzled by the richness of sensation) is underlaid by a sense of injustice, that Gamzee (by merit of his "blackness") has access to sensational joys that are inacessible to Karkat. Gamzee protests that explanations steal the magic from his miracles; Karkat on some level agrees, and exists in a state of feeling robbed.

* Another reconciliation, and one that we'll see a lot of, lies in the simple fact that this world of black predomination is conceived as a racist construction. Therefore, anti-black sentiment persists within it. Even so, envy is a useful paradigm.

Over the course of the story, we can see hints that Karkat wishes to reclaim that "stolen" blackness: finding identification with a "black guy" through Will Smith's sickle and Jack Noir's shared blood; Karkat assuming the mantle of his ancestor, who Suffered in chains; Karkat dressing up as Geromy for Halloween ("karkats problematic nobody tell him" says Dave); Karkat regarding* Dave's assertion that he is "so much more than Obama" as an insurmountable expression of love... but more on Karkat later.

* Dirk was narrating, but his words are bound to the thoughts characters were already going to think, much the same as Vriska's timeline interference in Act 5 asserts responsibility for things that were already going to happen.

1a. The apparent esteem for hoofbeasts is a subset of black cultural ascendence; horses are yet another veiled pejorative.

Dirk draws attention to the proximity of "nicker" to "nigger" in Detective Pony by injecting the phrase "vile slurs omitted" afterward, a gag echoed in the mosaic that fails to obscure a highly offensive horse dildo belonging to Horuss, who similarly observes that "Trigger" sounds like a wonderful name for a hoofbeast. Equius is obsessed with submission, but Zebruh is an outright slaver. We might in this vein construe John's traumatic fall from the slime pogo (the probable origin of the fear that manifested as ogres) as a racist's reframing of the end of slavery, a sense of having been unfairly bucked off one's horse. For illustrative purposes, I've taken the liberty of replacing the word "niggers" with "horses" in an old comic of Hussies:

The original joke being that the speaker's enthusiasm is tethered to a sense of domination. As a followup, here's an excerpt from page 7689, in which I've taken the liberty of replacing the word "horses" with "niggers":

(Vriska): What do you think, Meenah?

MEENAH: aboat what

(Vriska): Niggers!!!!!!!!

MEENAH: ummmm

MEENAH: they ok

MEENAH: kinda dumb and smelly

MEENAH: be makin like

MEENAH: fucked up sounds out their big ass snouts and floppy lips

Meenah here distances herself from black speech and bodies. It bears repeating that our cast subsists within a racist world; even "black" characters can express racism.

2. Miscegenation is a central paradigm of Alternian sexuality.

Anxious allusions to race-mixing have come up before: John's books make short disparaging references to "listless octoroons" (69, 629); Lil Cal manifests three panels after we see naked black & white puppets chained to each other (448); and ICP's depiction as evil (literally the result of combining Laurel and Hardy with the ecto-essence of Hitler, according to the cursed lore) is a result of their being the exemplar of whiteness "tainted" by blackness, a cultural spin on miscegenation. They are evil /because/ they are white rappers, their monochrome facepaint emphasizing the admixture.

I could go on. But the main point is,

"White" + "black" = gray, hence the trolls.

2a. "Slurry" was a hint. Troll reproduction is described by the phrase "incestuous slurry" not only because trolls impart their genetic material to their own mother, but also because "motherfucker" is used near exclusively by characters affecting blackness. The Freudian Oedipus is black, and mother he fucks is paradigmatically white: in one case, following the conclusion of WV's chess game, black's resounding victory over white is immediately provided a natal counterpart in the form of BROWN liquid erupting from the belly of a PINK can of Tab*. This association of childbirth/hatching with (racial) uprising later returns via Tavros, a brown-blood whose game of Fiduspawn (which spawns a horse, appropriately enough) prefigures his links to the Summoner's rebellion.

* As though in reaction to WV, the white-carapaced PM carries two letters bearing the postage marks of Rhodesia, the defunct colonial government of what is now Zimbabwe (896). There are two colored stamps bearing the name to her right, and a notice regarding "Southern [Rhodesia] Stamps" to her left.

2b. The example of WV and the racial polarization of mother & child inform us that miscegenation is being construed in terms of black men acting upon white women. This arrangement suggests the possibility of latent racial tensions in the mother/child dynamic of Porrim and Kankri, and we find them: within Porrim's critique of Alternian patriarchy, there are traces of antiblackness. When Porrim encourages Latula to cease performing for the public gaze and "be herself", she singles out Latula's black-flavored speech affectations for elimination, first striking at the proliferate 'yo' and Latula's use of zees for pluralz, then expressing contempt for the phrase "all up inz". Explaining Kankri's racial entanglement requires a digression.

2c. In another point of commonality, horses and black men are both sexually stereotyped by prodigious cock size -- modern miscegenation porn often advertises itself under the label BBC, "big black cock". In MSPA, the racialized gaze of the 4th wall is itself construed as a phallic intruder, a BBC. One example of this is in the Intermission, where Snowman weilds a whip called "Black Inches", a euphemism for dick borrowed from a black gay porn magazine*. Snowman seizes Spades Slick's arm with the whip and leaves him humiliated. This scene functions as a violent repetition of a prior humiliation, in which Snowman does no more than observe Slick goofing off: in this instance her very eyes are the Black Inches**, and the embarrassed Slick relieves himself of the horse hitcher between his legs in the emasculating gaze's wake.

* The magazine Black Inches shows up in Jail Break (50).

** Since the zigzag of a lightning bolt is used to represent the scratch of a disk, and the tendrils of the Red Miles represent tears in the fabric of reality, it seems likely that Black Inches would in some sense be yonic as well as phallic -- but one thing at a time.

A still earlier example is found in Problem Sleuth, where the massive eye of a horrorterror peeks through the 4th wall, its massive tendrils probe Ace Dick, and the violated AD walks away in shame, recalling the shame he was made to feel for being fat in his youth. The idea is that the probing tentacles ARE the judgemental gaze. The outer gods in Homestuck are similarly racialized. The brown skin of the Duttle (alchemical fusion of Charles Dutton and Squiddles) perturbs Jade because the tentacles now look like black dicks. Rose borrows a fear of water from Deep Impact*: Rose's "avarice for the inscrutable", her interest in drowning amid the Deep Ones, becomes associated with Charles Barkley via the "Chaos Dunk" John performs in her slumber. Later, the reference to tentacle rape in Rose's chumhandle is made manifest when Doc Scratch "smothers [her] with surprise noodles" (3632), his barrage of inscrutable question marks teasingly sexualized, after which the now-darkened Rose gets rendered as the basketball player from SBaHJ. Again, both Brown Charlies are associated with the Peanut gallery. And the gaze of the Horrorterrors is further racialized by a name: "Oglogoth" as in "gothic ogle" as in "dark leer".

* Is the aversion to water also part of Rose's cat motifs? The phobia was initiated by Jaspers' apparent drowning after all...

The etymology of Darkleer is our path back to Kankri: the omnipresent glare of the red sun is synonymous with the dark, leering ogles of the 4th wall. This is likely why Gl'ybgolyb has the title "the Rift's Carbuncle", the carbuncle being a mythic, glowing ruby. Latula's black affectations are referred to as "rad" to emphasize the link between redness and blackness. Porrim tells Latula to stop performing and be herself, but the red blooded Kankri (who finds fault in all) embodies the judgemental gaze to whom performance is addressed, a point underlined when Kankri informs Latula that he is ALWAYS WATCHING HER, even in moments she believes to be totally private. This gaze is, again, phallic: Dave, the first to be haunted by the red glow of endless webcams, rejects the criticism of the readership by slicing apart the phrase "insufferable prick". This literal reading of "prick" (and its connection to judgement) is one justification for transforming the Kankri's mythic title of the Sufferer into the Insufferable -- he is the prick. For this all these reasons, we can assert that all the terms emphasizing the length of Kankri's judgemental red diatribes ("prohibitously loquacious harangue", "enormous in progressive virtue") are coded references to Big Black Cock*. Poor, innocent Karkat takes the brunt of it.

* One wonders if Horuss's usage of "Trigger" as a minced oath retroactively casts the n-word over all of Kankri's meticulous content tags. "Nigger warning"

3. The elimination of the limebloods was white genocide*.

The blood of the cherubim establishes that lime is the opposite of candy red, so if red=black, lime=white. The racial element of black/white is emphasized by Caliborn affecting black speech (eg KNIFE A BITCH, eg MONEY AS FUCK)** while Calliope is an avowed teaboo (how convenient that the chief pejorative for English people is "limey"). Caliborn kills Calliope, breaks his chains, and escapes to a freedom encoded by decayed Statues of Liberty, lying in the sand -- a reference to the Planet of the Apes, yet another movie about black ascent in the social order (and the fear that this consigns whiteness to oblivion). It follows that the elimination of the limebloods, retroactively framed as Lord English repeating his predomination over Calliope, his "mating" her, likewise encodes a triumph of black over white (which again is also a central paradigm of Alternian sexuality: miscegenation).

* At the risk of contradicting myself, I should note a reservation here: if Caliborn relishes painting his words in Calliope's blood, and ICP is characterized a white affectation of blackness, would it not be sensible to regards the death of lime as a black genocide, after which black speech was appropriated? As though, in the spirit of the "I LOVE NIGGERS" comic, laying claim to group-exclusive language and asserting dominance over that group go hand in hand? I suspect that the lime-as-black account might be superimposed on lime-as-white, as though the reversal of Halloween's Michael were here bi-directional -- colonization likely being the framework in which masculine-white acts upon feminine-black. But we'll talk about bivalent cocks and James Cameron's Avatar shortly.

** Caliborn-as-black grounds his claim (leveled at Jane) that "bitch" and other pejoratives are actually terms of endearment in a distorted understanding of AAVE, as though the use of "bad" to mean "good" were a universal principle. Jane listens to rap music and cries dot jpeg.

Part B: Homophobic Slurs

THEY'RE ALL MEN. BECAUSE I SAY THEY ARE. AND I WANT THEM TO BE.

IF I BELIEVE HARD ENOUGH IN THEM BEING MEN.

THEN THAT FACT BECOMES ABSOLUTELY INDISPUTABLE AS A PERMANENT MAN REALITY.

(Caliborn, concerning the Felt)

If the paradigm of miscegenation dictates that men are "black" and women "white", it follows that the white genocide of the limebloods was also a mass femicide -- yet another retroactive repetition of Caliborn killing Calliope. Every motherfucker on the planet submits genetic material to the Mothergrub, not a soul gestates, and therefore everyone on Alternia is "male", just as Caliborn desires. The castes adjacent to the missing lime might gesture at the womb (Nepeta's bloody cave, Kanaya's midwifery), but all reproduction occurs via "gay sex". Male-on-female miscegenation is abstracted into a paradigm of gender relations, only having any bearing on material relations by way of analogy. The world has been overcome not only by blackness, but by gayness.

A consequence of the above is that EVERY GIRL ON ALTERNIA IS A TRANS GIRL. Roleplay is coded as a feminine activity not only in replication of real world perceptions of rp communities, but to associate Alternian women writ large with performance. FLARP is a "game for girls" not (just) because girls are more dangerous but because girls roleplay, categorically. Feferi describes her cuttlefish rescue as a roleplaying scenario, Nepeta is Nepeta. Kanaya... is perhaps best approached by contrast with Karkat.

Karkat is likely the only exception to the all-male rule: his status as a mutant lime blood implicates him as Alternia's only surviving female, and thus its only trans man*, red concealing lime. His aforementioned race envy would then double as gender envy, blackness being the Alternian paradigm of masculinity. Karkat chose his sickle in imitation of Troll Will Smith, later emphasizing the connection with the sickle HOMES SMELL YOU LATER, likewise a Thresh Prince reference. Kanaya's love of fashion (of "the aesthetic over the utilitarian") is a statement of her transfemininity, while Karkat's utilitarian insistence that trolls think fashion is stupid becomes an anxious assertion that his masculinity in non-mediated, as though a hint of performance in his demeanor would out him. The nubby horns, the suggestion of menses from the Blood aspect symbol, the jokes about hysteric fits, & the love of romcoms... they all begin to seem like tells. Does Porrim insist Kankri wear a sweater in order to censor the female presenting nipples, I wonder.

* I've heard Sollux was presented as a trans man in his Pesterquest route (I haven't played Pesterquest). I think Vriska route's presentation of her as a trans girl was correct, so the Sollux route makes me wonder if this approach is wrong-headed. OH WELL

Karkat shoosh-papping Gamzee (the sound effects are in lime) becomes an image of "white female" soothing the "black male" -- "pap" as in pap smear, mother's offering the baby milk. I'd even guess the entire "pale" quadrant is a pun on the pacifying power of whiteness (dairy and racial, but they've been equated through the paradigm of white motherhood) -- this becoming the reason why Equius, our leading example of moirallegiance, loves milk. Does "filial pail" mean "white mother"? Is the powerful horseman shattering the milk container a violent miscegenation joke, as though he breaks the mother? Is that why Karkat (potential white mother) of all people voices the concern (twice!) that contact with Equius will shatter him? DON'T TOUCH ME. Anyway

1. "FAIRY" IS A SLUR

In the wake of Vriska's pesterchum route, tumblr user abraxasgrip posited that Karkat referring to Vriska as FAG (the seemingly accidental acronym of "Future arachnidsGrip") and Vriska's general status as a blue "fairy" should be considered parcel to a trans narrative*. She was right! The entire notion of trolls pupating into butterflies upon ascension is in part a trans allegory, not unlike the modern designation of nascent trans people as "eggs", waiting to hatch.

* For that matter, I half-wonder if "Vrissy" was chosen for its proximity to "sissy".

Earlier I mentioned a racial dimension to the paradigm of birth in Fiduspawn, but here we can focus on the gender. The fairy girls on Tavros's wall are an extension of the urge to fly, as though fairy girls are the butterflies unto which Tavros intends to pupate. Tavros being unable to sink into his cocoon (ie unable to iniate metamorphosis) because of his HUGE HORNS functions as metaphor for bodily dysphoria. Vriska is introduced as one of Tavros's poster made manifest, the fairy ideal to which he aspires, and she denigrates Rufio because his red hair represents a bloody stump, a point of castration*. The ideal feminine dismissing Rufioh as fraudulent and fake emulates taunts that trans women, even following bottom surgery or what have you, will never be "real women". It bears repeating that this Alternia-as-paranoid-fantasy is arose from a homophobic/transphobic world view (one that slurs together all it would describe as feminine men), so characters tend to express the prejudices that drove their own creation.

* In Openbound, Rufioh attempts to "break up" with the dick-faced Horuss 8=D in service of a dysphoria metaphor. Damara, taking a role akin to Vriska's above, locked away Rufioh's "happy thought" to illustrate the corresponding lack of euphoria.

Also, if Karkat is female, "STOP PLAYING GAMES FOR GIRLS" functions not only as one of Karkat's defensive assertions of masculinity, but as yet another example of "real women" denigrating "imitations".

It should be noted here that chasing after the butterfly entails chasing after the cocoon, which bears connotations of death (eg the cherubim use a magic tomb, the sarswapagus, to turn from boy to girl and back). In some cases the objective (the feminine) collapses into the mediator (death), such that femininity is construed as intrinsically morbid. Mommy becomes a mummy, pregnant with scarabs. Jake's interest in blue girls intersects with his love of skulls: When Aranea asks "Do you want me to talk until I'm blue in the face?" Jake gulps not only because of the thought of literal blue skin, but because exhausting one's Breath means death.

We'll talk more about Jake later, because the narrative insinuation of necrophilia that follows him is channeled into a very particular homophobic/transphobic construction, but for now let it suffice that the butterfly Grandpa shoots has the colors of the trans pride flag.

2. HIS HONORABLE "TYRANNY" MEANS "TRANNY"

The Condesce attempted to recreate Alternia on Earth, implementing blood castes and installing (black-tainted) clown presidents in imitation of the Grand Highblood. What then is Guy Fieri supposed to emulate? The cursed lore alleges the name to be a mispronunciation of "guy Feferi", but what does that have to do with his position as a Supreme Court Justice? How is Fieri related to His Honorable Tyranny? The answer is as simple as the names: "Tyranny" means TRANNY*, and "Guy Fieri" sounds like GAY FAIRY.

* I talked about Kankri as a figure of judgement earlier -- I wonder if his status as a trans man has anything to do with the nickname "Kanny"

Terezi is likewise a trans girl, and her kangaroo court functions as a castration fantasy: dragons are phallic, she strings them up. "LEMONSNOUT" means "PISSNOZZLE". ("Lemonsnout represents Vriska!" you protest, "we see Lemonsnout on Terezi's desk when she informs Doc Scratch of the cueball!" To this I reply, "The design of Vriska's dotted eyepatch is lifted from the Goonie's 'One-Eyed Willie', who represents a penis!")

Terezi wishes she could have a baby, you see. When Terezi says her lusus dreams about babies, Karkat says "I thought you didn't have one", and Terezi replies "I don't yet, I'm not allowed to." The omitted subject is doubled: Terezi is allowed neither a lusus nor a baby. This motif plays out again in Terezi's roleplay with Nepeta: the phallic dragon (Terezi refers to the dragon head as her "alarming and splendiferous girth") attempts to steal and consume the child, representing the assumption of pregnancy. Cronus (named after a god who consumes children) similarly has a seahorse lusus in reference to male pregnancy.

Earlier still, this wish is encoded in the crime of Senator Pissnozzle, dipping his snout into a "beetle coffer". The invocation of scarabs implies that the Pissnozzle poked into a mummy, meaning that Terezi (whose name invokes Tiresias, the blind prophet of the play Oedipus Rex) is simultaneously punishing incestuous access to the death-mother and the intrusion of the masculine into the domain of the feminine. As with Terezi and her desire for baby: NOT ALLOWED. This society is at least as homophobic as it is gay.

To wit: when Terezi notes the "unmitigated cheek" of the Senator strutting around with pilfered scarabs beneath his clothes, she is complimenting the Senator's ass. Terezi then recommends the court take recess to puke. This is a compliment of sorts, because vomiting blood is one way trolls produce genetic material: the conversation prior to the trial feature Karkat summoning the image of girls "erupting like a vomit volcano" at the sight of Sollux; this image of bile and fire is followed by a dragon drawn by Terezi, who retches with a BLAR; and the phallic status of dragons informs us that vomiting amounts to ejaculation. Anyway,

When Karkat responds to Terezi's cryptic baby talk with "WE NEED TO GET YOU OUT OF THAT FUCKING TREE AND INTO A PROPER GODDAMN LAWNRING," what we should hear is "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS." It's an early iteration of the infamous "STOP PLAYING GAMES FOR GIRLS" that accompanies Tavros's attempted flight. (Another instance of Blood pulling down an ascendant trans girl: Dave offering bloody bro fistbumps to keep John from blasting off.)

3. "HUMAN CIGARETTE" MEANS "FAG"

Cronus ostensibly couches "human cigarette" in quotation marks to signal that he is introducing new terminology to the conversation, but in much the same way as Caliborn would describe his King as "Queen", readers can take the quotes as indication that some manner of substitution is afoot. The suggestion of euphemism (and the fact that Cronus doesn't smoke the cigarette) doesn't just offer a joke about how Cronus likes putting sticks in his mouth -- it's a comment on Mituna.

"Human cigarette" is a rephrasing of TROLL CAEGAR, Terezi's two headed coin. The precedent of G substitution in TROLL JEGUS allows the cigar pun to slip by unnoticed. The two heads of the coin, and its scratched/unscratched eyes, are quickly embodied in the form of Sollux, who likewise has alternated eyes and two-headed motifs. He even carries on Terezi's abuse of the pissnozzle by slicing through his BEEHOUSE MAINFRAME tower -- the yellow MIND HONEY represents piss. The taste of piss turns Sollux into a vomit volcano, a grandiose iteration of the (imagined) spittake resulting from John drinking pee disguised as apple juice. BLUH! The eruption of lasers from his hivestem resembles ejaculation, again pointing to the reproductive function of disgust.

Now we need to superimpose several points:

a. The blast also signals that "Sollux Captor" (sunlight capacitor) can function as a store of energy, a battery. This was the use to which HIC put the Psiionic, using him to power her ship, a cruelty that Cronus (speaking to Meenah) deploys to defend his own abuse of Mituna. This is one point of convergence between batteries and cigarette/cigar: posing a person a fuel, a resource to be burnt out (hence the emphasis on Mituna being brain-fried).

b. Rose has a small tirade in early act 6 about cigars being a phallic symbol, and we should take her word for it: when Meenah goes to take a bathroom break during the interfission, its not until a newly blind Sollux stumbles into the ship's hold with Meenah that her bladder meter starts to decrease. This is another reference to the Psiionic, posing the yellow-blooded Captors as a pissnozzles awaiting depletion. Meenah quips "like captor like captor" afterwards to underscore this parallel (though she formally only refers to Sollux falling down, as Mituna is prone to do).

The dick is a synecdoche of the boy, and as the GameGrl theme tells us, GIRLS RULE & BOYS DROOL. Which is to say, girls and boys are posed as defacto mother/child pairs, because children (being black boys) are all "motherfuckers" in the Oedipal sense. But on Alternia, access to the mother is mediated so the little gay babies (to borrow Meulin's turn of phrase) all have to fuck eachother instead. Hence, "human cigarettes" (ie troll caegars, ie batteries) are fags.

4. "FAYGO" ALSO MEANS "FAG"

Drinking Faygo is synonymous with kissing a dead head, such that Gamzee's soda habit prefigures his attempted revival of Tavros. A shot of Aradia decapitating a frog statue (2065) cuts directly to Eridan picking up a red Faygo. Later, Gamzee advises Eridan to "chug that shit like you and the bottle was reunited lovers", invoking a passionate kiss. Eridan does so, upon which we see Feferi revive Sollux (the Caegar) with a passionate kiss. Eridan demurs on the spittake, but Karkat gags, and Spades Slick consummates the gesture with a reference to puking blood.

Later on, the most dramatic boy-on-boy kiss of the story replicates this structure: Jake takes the bleeding head of Dirk and kisses him to life. Onlookers gag, and a vomit volcano erupts in the background. Bluh.

But hey, on the subject of Jake breathing life into dead people,

5. "WINDBAG" ALSO ALSO MEANS "FAG"

Here we'll need to be familiar with an aspect of Homestuck's metaphysics again, so let's proceed from Jade's fear of lightning:

a. Jade's first imp manifests after she spies a yellow aurora coursing through the sky in the shape of a lightning bolt. Since imps appear in response to psychic turmoil, this establishes that for whatever reason, lightning is a source of fear for Jade. Furthermore, the imp arrives in a reproduction of Bec's introduction, associating Bec with this fear of lightning.

b. Elaboration on the phobia arrives in the form of 1. the image of Johnny 5 being struck by lightning and assuming consciousness and 2. the corpse of dream!Jade being animated by the infusion of Becsprite, after which she immediately requests death. What Jade fears is no less than life itself: life is regarded as a coarse intrusion upon the serenity of death.

c. Another way to put it: in conceiving of her very life as originating from a numinous elsewhere, Jade becomes terrified that the will coarsing through her body is not her own, that she is an automaton, a puppet. But the terror is selective. Note that during her introduction, Jade only attributes her failures to alien wills: the discordant flute play and botched memory game are framed (by Jade) as reader interactive segments, while kickass bass solos and success with the modus are framed (by Jade) as a consequence of Jade assuming total control.

d. The flute example is instructive: another name for the spark of life, the divine pneuma, is Breath. Hence when Tavros attempts to revive Vriska, we see the Breath aspect symbol flow from his mouth. For whatever reason, Jade seems to regard Grandpa as the source of her (unwanted!) Breath, despite his being dead: she disparagingly refers to him as a "bag of wind" while recalling one of his old tirades. When Jade nearly shoots herself but instead shoots Grandpa, suicide and murder are rendered synonymous insofar as Jade is striking out at (someone presented as) the source of Breath. The puppet cuts its strings and is motionless forever.

e. Corpse kissing arises from more than necessity: rescuscitation has apparent overtones of necrophilia. Caliborn illustrates this when he claims Calliope will leave a truly "breathtaking" corpse. Jake's intro drags him into this paradigm with a joke in which the phrase "beating a dead horse" is twisted into the visceral "assaulting the mushy carcass of a horse who passed away long ago", playing upon the sexual dimension of "assault". Blue girls are beutifully dead and the pneuma is seemingly phallicized. Grandpa had Jade's corpse sitting around for a long time.

f. So it came to seem that Jade's relationship with Grandpa had undertones of sexual assault. It became unnerving that Jade seemed to go grimbark at the sight of Jake's banana hammock, that Jade's corpse fell from the sky in Candy at the mention of rape, that another will takes over Jade's body when Meat!Roxy muses that ectobiology did not require their consent to make them make babies. Jadesprite's desperation to die, to empty herself of Pneuma, obtained a connotation of uninvited semen, the memory of which could trigger extreme responses. It seemed frivolous that Jade's dreambot beat up Grandpa's effigy while dream!Jade pummeled the Courtyard Droll, but the association turned ominous when CD killed Jade with an explosion of white goop as a lightning aurora coursed overhead... in short, all signs seemed to indicate Grandpa was a rapist. I'm still somewhat convinced this is true.

But its also true that Homestuck is a conspiracy theory, self-consciously depicting homophobia. A nudge towards a paradigm shift arrives when Jane compared Jake to Arrested Development's Tobias Funke: "How could he not see the pain he was causing with his oblivious demeanor, his repressed feelings of attraction toward men, and his total inability to understand other people's feelings in spite of his credentials as an analrapist?" The message being, much as ICP is framed as evil by dint of being "tainted" with blackness, a Grandpa might be framed as a rapist by dint of being gay. Suddenly the ominous pneumatic dimension of Jade calling Grandpa a "bag of wind" seemed to be a consequence of the more readily apparent contempt Jade has for Grandpa's overwrought manner of speaking. Jade (or else the narrative to which both Grandpa and Jade are subjected) uses "bag of wind", and the elaborate metaphysical assault narrative it invokes, to call Grandpa a faggot.

This filter can superimposed on much of what seemed ominous. The impression that grimbark Jade was triggered by traumatic memories of Jake's groin wraps back around to her open contempt for the garments: she responds negatively to Jake's undies because they're REALLY FUCKING GAY (derogatory). Jade spurning the gift of Ahab's Crosshair (a symbol of lightning, and thus phallic life) becomes inseperable from Eridan's contempt for human reproduction (ew! pussy is gross!)... and speaking of lightning, we've discussed the pneuma's relation to life but less so it's relation to will.

6. "COLONIZER" MEANS "SODOMIZER"

Emphasis on "colon". The gist is that fags, in their femininity, are conceptualized as tresspassers upon the virgin land of womanhood. Recall a dream Jake had, remixing a scene from James Cameron's Avatar, a film in which a colonial soldier is able to assume the body of the blue skinned natives. Jake speaks exploitation and condescension: "Ooh Neytiri, I'm learning so much about myself through your primitive culture." Jake awakens to find Neytiri replaced with Aranea, another "blue girl" upon whom the fantasy of bodily possession is transferred, presumably possessing as much sexism as the quote had primitivism.

A more involved example would be Damara, and her apparent possession by arch-colonist Lord English:

a. Rufioh's use of "doll" in reference to Damara implicitly compares her to the host plush of Fiduspawn, suggesting that she is in some sense a lifeless vessel through which some other thing perpetuates itself. (Which applies to literally everyone in the story, this being fiction, but it becomes a point of focus here.) Damara speaks in staccato bursts like Caliborn, which in light of the above could suggest she is literally "possessed" by Lord English, being puppeted around by an alien life force that moves through her (again, Fiduspawn)

This sense of possession is compounded by Damara being "fake" Japanese -- per tumblruser fishmech, her Google-translated speech is likely diegetic, meaning Damara's sloppy Japanese is acquired and she's what might be called "Japanese kin" in the context of Openbound's various otherkin characters and internet archetypes. Alternatively, we have the standard understanding that Beforan Japanese is intrinsically a “fallen” form of the Japanese that exists as-we-see-it on Alternia, with the caveat that Caliborn is the demiurge responsible for the generation of this degraded form -- and that Caliborn is the one who kins sexy anime girls (his admiration of the self-creating girl on the How To Draw Manga Cover comes to mind), making Damara his avatar/self-insert, and leading us back to the motif of possession.

But this could be folded back into the subjective experience of a Japanese-kin Damara, as though she perceives her seeming inability to be “authentic” as the fault of a cruel and/or incompetent God -- or rather, it is only through the eyes of God (the reader) that Damara's language is degraded, but since Damara sees herself through our eyes, the apparent inauthenticity of Damara's Japanese communicates a subjective sense of inauthenticy which Damara feels towards her own speech. Sometimes the gap between character and authorial voice in Homestuck is brought to attention to underscore a feeling of profound alienation in a given character, a sense of not belonging in their own skin... dysphoria, in other words.

b. As mentioned earlier, the paradigm of colonization also has a racial element to it, seemingly reversing the black/white coding of masculine/feminine as explored elsewhere. "Damara is Japanese tho" you say. "Ninja means nigga" I remind you.

Conclusion

God I wish I knew how to conclude this. The organizing principle of offensive puns is all that kept this profane intersectionality together. My only real thesis is that I believe we've been pranked, and that the ability to recognize the discursive twists that constitute the deception (or rather, our collective misreading) seems broadly useful. Beyond that, I don't know. I'm not even certain I've done an adequate job separating the metaphorical from the literal on Alternia, to whatever degree those two things are distinct. My head is swimming. I believe some things of substance have been expressed here, but time will tell what details survive subsequent sifting.

I guess as a closing note I'll just mention that before June clicked, I was pretty convinced John was gay. Now remaining traces of that gay reading seem to have been slurred into superposition with the trans reading? Feels kinda nice somehow

#homestuck #race mapping #long post #assault cw #special thanks to blurds and red-zora for proofreading #homestuck meta

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