jeon jungkook ♡ series masterlist

wc. 2.2k

tags. smut | dom top!m!reader, handjobs, praise, shower sex

"you agreed. you pinky-promised. was what you wrote really that bad?"

he shifts on the couch, tucking his feet up to his chin and hiding his face behind it. his face is a very, very dark shade of red. "it's awful. horrible. you'll break up with me if you read it."

"then why'd you write it down in the first place?"

"i don't know!" he whines. "i was feeling brave!"

you set down the controller. on the large flat-screen tv, your characters circle the mario kart track behind the scoreboard. waluigi, jungkook's character, throws a tantrum in his race-car. "give me the paper."

"you'll hate me."

fourth place. fourth place. he can't believe himself. your name is highlighted at the top, neatly settled in first place. he'd been so comfortable, in the lead for the entirety of the match, and his big ego decided that an 'all or nothing' pity round would come out in his favour.

as quick as lighting, you snatch the crumpled ball of paper and unfold it, slapping jungkook's panicked hands away. your brows furrow deeper the longer you look at it.

"you're right. you were feeling brave."

jungkook slumps against your shoulder, his face pinched in embarrassment. "please don't think badly of me because of it, hyung..."

lowering the torn corner of paper, you ask softly, "would you like to do this with me, kookie? i'm interested."

his head shoots up. "what? are you serious?"

"no, i'm batman." he rolls his eyes with a huff and you grin, eyes crinkling as you pull him into your side. "yes, i'm being serious. thank you for telling me – i would never have expected something like this out of my cute little boyfriend."

if possible, his pout intensifies. he crosses his arms over his knees, staring determinedly ahead at the game. "'m not little."

you hush him, tilting his face towards you and pressing a long kiss to those pretty pink lips. he hums breathily, leaning into you with a hand on your chest. he whines quietly when you finally pull away for air, his chest heaving as he blinks at you with wide, dark eyes.

"seven days," he whispers, leaning in and throwing his leg over your lap, caging your thighs with his own. he rocks his hips slowly, savouring your low groan of pleasure. "seven days to fuck me whenever and wherever you want. that's your prize, baby – don't waste it."

eyeing his body hungrily, you grin like a beast unchained. you cradle his tiny waist, and playfully, you lift your hand against it, comparing sizes. "oh, darling, i'm not letting a single inch of you go unloved."

he nibbles on his lower lip as you tug his shirt out of the waistband of his ripped jeans. he's due for his gym session tomorrow – goes every two or three days, whatever he can fit into his schedule – and he'd made lunch for the two of you just a few hours ago. his skin is warm, his tummy soft, and it tenses with a gasp under your palms as they glide across his skin.

"mh... sorry, baby," he whispers, lashes fluttering as he blushes a dusty pink. "i should've done this on gym day..."

"hm? why?" you rock his ass against your lap with a soft exhale. you arch a brow at him. "do you think you're only attractive to me when you're hungry and dehydrated? idiot."

"hey," he whines, a protesting pout adorning his lips. he touches your hand on his stomach, fingers wrapping around yours. "'m not an idiot! just... i dunno... i wanna be handsome for you, hyung, y'know?"

you give him a look. "did i ask you out, or your abs?"

"well, me..."

"i asked you out after we finished three large pizzas at two in the morning. i think we ate about a kilo of cheese each."

he snorts. "yeah, yeah... i guess."

"uh-huh." you squeeze his hips and bring him down to kiss him, lips moving gently together. you part and bury your nose in his neck, lazily moving your hips against one another. he moans softly as you roll your palm against his bulge. "baby, you're always beautiful to me. on gym day or not – i would worship you for hours if you'd let me."

he giggles softly. "that's why i don't. you gotta be more productive than being buried between my thighs from dawn to dusk." he slips your belt free and tosses it – you barely felt him doing it, too busy engraving the sight of his sweet eyes and smile into the backs of your eyelids. "but, you know, a whole week to do whatever you want to me..."

you groan lowly at the suggestion, hastily pulling him out of his pants. you don't do it with half the grace that he does, but he seems to appreciate your enthusiasm, his cock already hard and twitching with anticipation. "mm, that does sound amazing. okay, ground rules: no touching yourself at any point. only i can get you off."

"fuck, o-okay, hyung. agreed."

you pump his cock slowly, capturing his lips hungrily. he drawls out a moan, his fingers drifting up your wrist. his other hand cradles the back of your head and he presses your foreheads together, his breath warm and quick against your cheek.

you flick your wrist and he whimpers softly, grip tightening around the base of your hand. his cock leaks as he bucks into your hand. you hush him, grazing your lips along his jawline. your hand quickens. "how does that feel, baby? good?"

"mm – mmhm," he whimpers. "it does, it does! feels really good..."

you spoil him too much. ever since you got together, he hasn't needed to touch himself – you're always right there, offering to do it for him. he's glad that you do – you can reach places so deep in him that he never knew existed, and you're always so gentle with him, making sure his pleasure is a priority.

he's dated a lot of people, but you're the first one who makes him feel so loved and important. it's almost embarrassing how much he loves you, how much he adores the way you pamper him.

he sniffles softly, burying his face in your shoulder. he grinds into your fist, cock dripping precome down your knuckles.

you hum softly, wrapping an arm around his waist. "you okay, darling? this too much?"

he shakes his head. "n-no... keep going. please. i love you."

it's sudden, and you stop moving for a half-second in surprise. "i love you, too, jungkookie. is everything alright?"

he nods, grabbing your hand and moving it up and down his swollen cock. it's cute and flushed red, twitching in your palm excitedly. "mhm. i just really love you – want you to know that."

who knew that love confessions mid-handjob could be so adorable? you smile into his hot skin and cradle him close as he gasps and jerks into your hand, spilling onto your shirt with a soft whimper.

for a long while, he remains completely lax in your arms, panting softly against your neck as he comes down from his high. when he opens his eyes tiredly, you smile down at him and kiss his cheek, tucking him back into his pants.

he whines quietly, reaching for your belt. "you didn't finish, baby... i can feel how hard you are."

you hum softly, tugging his hand away. "you need a shower, anyway. can i join you?"

his lower lip slips teasingly between his teeth. his eyes sparkle. "mm, of course. you're not getting away so easily, hyung-ah – i'm gonna eat you alive."

you smirk, letting him drag you to your feet and towards the bathroom. his eyes glint with mischief and he pulls you down by your collar to meet your lips with his, one of his hands tucked into the back pocket of your jeans. his thumb is hooked through a belt loop.

you groan into his mouth as he strokes your clothed bulge with a cheeky grin. "baby, don't test me. i'm the one with the week-long free pass to your ass."

 he winks. "why d'you think i'm doing this? last one into the shower loses!"

he wins. with the steamy water hitting your back, you cage jungkook against the glass, your arms sturdy beside him. you keep him safe, protected, from the world. not once does he feel trapped – not once does he feel confined in your love. no matter how closely you press against him, no matter how deep you are inside of him – you are his, and he is yours.

there's a certain freedom in being engulfed by your arms. he never expected it. spreading his thighs, kissing his shoulder – you love him like no other has. you love him in all the ways that matter and all the ways that don't because you're overflowing with it, that love of yours. even when you're balls deep inside him – an exciting, dirty kind of love that he blushes about in the mornings – you're smiling into his neck, murmuring about how lovely he is and how he deserves you, deserves your cock, deserves your love and deserves all that is good and bright. it's your turn to lavish him with love confessions and he can barely keep track of them all, his coherent thoughts running down the drain with each solid thrust of your hips.

"hyung," he whimpers, gnawing on his lower lip. he squeezes his eyes shut, fingers scrabbling for purchase fruitlessly against the smooth glass. your cock glides against his prostate and he grabs your hip, pulling you into him with a warbled moan. "f-fuck..."

"what's that, baby?" you murmur against his skin, hot and slick. your thrusts make him unravel, strong and hard and consistent against that spot inside him that makes him see stars. it's mind-melting. "you wanna tell me something?"

he whimpers, eyes squeezing shut as your hips shift against his ass, angling differently. your cock just grazes his prostate and he clenches around you, a warbled cry of your name leaving his lips. he feels so tiny – his feet between yours, your cock buried so deep in him he can practically taste it. he arches his back, tight ass pressing back against your pelvis, and savours your growl and the way your hand grips the opposite side of his waist, gripping the slim shelf of his hip.

"gotta use your words, pretty thing," you husk. with every thrust, it takes longer to bottom out, and eventually your hips still entirely. he whines, high-pitched and wanton, and grinds against you – you keep him at bay with one hand pressed firm to the small of his back. "easy, pretty. can you do that f'me? can you talk to me, tell me what you want from me?"

you step forward, forcing jungkook to stand straighter, pressed closer to the glass. trapped in your arms, he has no room to move, no room to argue. he shivers, chest grazing glass, and can't help the unsteady shuffle of his feet. the hot, steamy water hits your back and glides down your neck, your chest, dripping onto his shoulders.

lifting a hand, you tuck it against his upper ribs, fingers pressed into the lean muscle of his chest. the flesh – pull and push, stroking and caressing. he lets out a whisper of a moan as your warm fingers flick over his nipple, hard and pebbled.

"want you," he whines quietly, voice cracking in the middle when your hand travels down his hot, slick stomach and glides over his throbbing cock. he grabs your hip, fingers digging into you until his knuckles turn white. "w-want you – want you close to me, closer, please, want you closer—"

he breaks off with a babble as you take his hands and pin them flat to the glass. the motion draws you ever nearer – closer, as he'd say, the sweet thing – and your cock reaches so deep inside him, pressing against his stomach. he's dizzy with it, veins buzzing and head detached from his shoulders.

eventually, he hears your chuckle, like a radio knob turned slowly louder. his heart rabbits in his chest as he cracks open his eyes, temple pressed against the cold clear glass. his breath fogs it, and water trails down his cheeks from his damp hair, stuck to his skin the way it always does when you tear him apart and put him back together. his cock is wet and sticky, the heat tingling in his lower spine with a pulsing desperation.

it's all over his tummy, he thinks distantly with a soft whimper. he'd be embarrassed if he could remember the word.

when you finally finish, jungkook's legs feel like jelly. he curls his fingers around yours, lacing them together as he pants against the foggy glass, his hair damp and the air thick with the smell of sex. you kiss him over his shoulder and he moans against your lips, soft and tired. he smiles and closes his eyes as you reach for the shampoo – he leans back against your chest as you smooth your hand down his stomach, gentle and warm. he can feel your pulse through your palms and your heart through his ribs.

"i love you," he whispers against your throat. he means it in every iteration it has ever been.

Singing in the Shower (Ragnarssons x Reader)

This is just a silly little one-shot that came to mind that I could not stop thinking about. It got a bit deeper than I planned but oops?

Also my first time writing a Ragnarssons x reader! Please let me know if I did all the brothers justice. Except Bjorn isn’t in here. So its just the sons of Aslaug. Sorry, Bjorn.  

Warnings: some brief mentions of abusive/unhealthy past relationships, reader has some insecurities, the brothers being the best roomies ever but also creepers, like one or two swear words, FLUFFY GOODNESS!!! 

Words: 3700

Tag List: @youbloodymadgenius​

 (picture is from Pinterest. Not mine.)

The sound of laughter echoed around you even before leaving your bedroom. It was a Sunday night so that meant the Lothbrok brothers were all over. A tradition Ubbe started some months ago to make sure the four brothers stayed connected in each other's lives. Every Sunday evening, all of them would congregate in the three bedroom flat you shared with Ubbe and Hvitserk. They would order a stack of pizzas and enough beer to put a pub crawl to shame, and watch movies or play video games until the early morning hours. Only twice had fist fights broken out between Sigurd and Ivar with just a table and a lamp damaged in the process, so Ubbe called it a win. 

 It had only been about a year that you lived with Ubbe and Hvitserk. Sigurd chose to move in with a couple members of the band he played in. Aslaug vehemently refused to let Ivar move out due to his many medical needs that she claimed he could only receive proper attention for at home. In equal parts rebellion and to escape his mother’s suffocating attention, Ivar spent the majority of his free time and nights crashing on the couch at your shared flat. 

 At first, you were hesitant about living with the two brothers, having only known them through friends, but you decided to give it a chance. Within a couple of months, you found the strange dynamics of your shared space and your vastly different relationships with each of the brothers to feel eerily familiar….like being home. 

 Standing at your door, you listened to the brothers for a few moments, smiling broadly as you heard Hvitserk taunting Sigurd about how he was going to beat his ass if he threw another blue shell at him. Meanwhile Ivar was yelling something about the undeniable magic of Yoshi and his winning streak. They must be playing Mario Kart again. 

 It was nice to hear them all getting along. Normally Sunday nights you hung out with your boyfriend to give the brothers privacy, even though all of them repeatedly told you it was unnecessary. That was until last week. You had taken a selfie on your boyfriend's phone and went to set it as his background to surprise him….and found nude pictures of other girls and the dick pics he sent them back. Before you stormed out of his flat, you may have thrown his phone against the wall, pleased when the screen shattered just like your trust. Then you came home and cried to Hvitserk about how you were swearing off men and just wanted to be a spinster for the rest of your life. 

 Word must have spread between the brothers. For the rest of the week, they all offered their support in various ways. Sigurd texted you a few times to check on you and remind you that clearly you were better off without your ex. Ubbe gave you long hugs as if trying to soak the pain out of you, and made sure you were eating and getting out of bed. Hvitserk surprised you with a new sugary treat every day ranging from Oreos to ice cream to chocolate muffins; then you two would cuddle on the couch indulging yourselves while watching movies. Ivar threatened to beat up your now ex-boyfriend for making you cry and take pictures to send to those girls your ex had been texting. You made sure to shut Ivar's idea down quickly but pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and thanked him for offering. You hated your ex, that did not mean you wanted him dead. 

 You pushed away from your door and down the hallway. Popping your head around the corner, you saw the brothers in various positions in the living room, eyes all glued to the TV and the race happening on-screen. 

 "I'm gonna shower." You announced, receiving grunts of affirmations as they were too focused to fully acknowledge you. Smiling at their antics, you headed into the bathroom, shutting the door and starting the shower up. Once the water was at the perfect temperature, you stripped and jumped in. Of course, once the mixture of hot water and steam helped you relax, you started singing to yourself, letting the worries of the day fade away for just a moment as the words flowed from your lips and echoed off the shower stall walls like your own little stage. 

 Unbeknownst to you, as soon as the bathroom door shut and the sound of water running could be heard, the volume on the TV was muted. 

 Ivar, surprisingly, was the first one to overhear your singing. He had come over to crash for a few hours after his latest doctor appointment and to work on an assignment for a University class. The bathroom door somehow had not fully latched when you closed it, cracking open while you were in the shower….and you started singing. Ivar sat stunned on the couch at the voice slipping out of the bathroom like a siren's song. He remained there, transfixed as you sang some song he had never heard but he could feel in his chest. Once you stopped singing and the shower turned off, he quickly jumped up and hobbled over to silently shut the door, slightly embarrassed by the idea of you catching him listening in to your shower singing. 

 Later that day after you headed out to work, Ivar asked Ubbe and Hvitserk if they had heard you sing yet. Both of them denied ever hearing you sing. When asked if he knew anything, Sigurd was upset, having asked you on multiple nights to go to a karaoke bar with him and some friends. You always refused by saying you sounded Iike a beached whale. 

 Ubbe was next to overhear. He was walking by the bathroom on the way to the kitchen when he heard your voice drifting from underneath the bathroom door. Feeling like a creeper but curiosity winning out, he pressed his ear to the bathroom door to listen better. To say he had been shocked was an understatement. Sure, he had heard Ivar praise your voice, but he figured his youngest brother was exaggerating. It made him wonder why you never sang in front of others. 

 A silent pact was made between the brothers that they would never share the information of your singing with anyone outside the four of them….and whenever you jumped in the shower, whoever was the closest would go and crack the bathroom door open so they could hear you better. 

 This time was no different. 

 Sigurd was closest, so after Ubbe paused the game, he jumped up and silently cracked open the door so your beautiful voice could flow out. The game picked back up but remained on mute so they could hear you. The first song you serenaded them with was Walk Me Home by Pink. Apparently, one of your new favorites since you sang it so often. Next was Someone Like You by Adele. By the third song, the brothers had abandoned the game and were solely focused on you and the raw emotion bleeding from your voice. This time you started to sing Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi.  

 Ubbe spoke up, keeping his voice quiet just in case you could hear them, however unlikely. "Has she said anything about her ex lately?"

 "Not to me." Hvitserk answered first. "I thought she was doing fine."

 "Just because she's not crying all the time doesn't mean she's fine." Ivar retorted harshly, never removing his eyes from the direction of the bathroom. After a moment, he got up and hobbled towards the bathroom. 

 "Ivar…. Ivar, what are you doing?" Ubbe hissed but was ignored. 

 As quiet as possible, Ivar walked into the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid; your singing managed to cover the sounds of his movement. As he rolled his head to the side, it was to find his brothers had followed him with varying expressions ranging from concern to amusement. 

 Normally you did not spend so long in the shower but today you decided to spoil yourself. You had been doing well all week but this morning you were scrolling through your Instagram and happened to stumble upon a picture of your ex with a new girl, smiling happily and kissing at a restaurant…. the day after you broke up. And seeing them together felt like it ripped a tear into the slowly healing pieces of your heart. 

 Instead of going out like you planned to do, you laid in bed all-day binge-watching movies and feeling like an idiot. So in the shower you took extra time pampering yourself, using a deep conditioner in your hair, shaving everywhere and just letting the hot water cascade down your skin and loosen the tense muscles. 

 At this point you were feeling a little better and decided it was best not to waste any more water. You turned the water off, running your hands down your body to get as much excess water off, before you reached for your towel. Grabbing the plush towel hanging on the rack, you quickly dried your hair and wrapped the towel around your body before pulling the curtain back….

 Only to shriek as you realized you were not alone in the bathroom. 

 "What? What are you guys doing?" You demanded, eyes frantically darting between the four brothers.

 Ivar sat on the toilet lid; head tilted as he watched you with a peculiar expression on his face. Hvitserk leaned against the sink, eyes darting from your towel-clad body to the floor then back up. Ubbe and Sigurd stood in the doorway, both looking the least comfortable but still not moving. 

 "We, ah, we were…. well, we are concerned for you." Ubbe said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

 "Concerned?" You asked incredulously. 

 Ivar ignored your question. "Is this about your ex? Want me to pay him a visit?"

 "What are you talking about?"

 "Your singing. They were sad songs." Sigurd answered, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. 

 Heat flooded your face. You dropped your head, staring at the bathroom floor as you clutched the towel closer to your body. Honestly, the idea of them hearing your singing was far more humiliating than them seeing you naked at this point. "You…. you heard me…. singing?"

 "Y/n, are you OK? You know you can tell us anything." Hvitserk said, trying to meet your eye. 

 "Um, can…. can we talk about this when…. when I'm not naked?" 

 "Of course. Come on, brothers." Ubbe quickly agreed, tapping the door as if to signal. He and Sigurd walked away first. Only when you finally met Hvitserk's eye did he push off the sink and head out but not before giving you a flirty wink. 

 "Ivar…."

 He slouched back, folding his hands behind his head. "I'm quite comfortable here."

 "Oh gods, please, Ivar." You begged, almost on the verge of tears. 

 He stared at you a long moment before pushing himself to his feet. "Don't think you're getting out of this."

 "Ok."

 Appeased, he made his way out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

 Once alone, you stepped out of the shower only to drop onto the toilet lid and place your head in your hands. Your chest heaved and your eyes stung as you fought back the tears that threatened to fall. Today was bad enough and now this. It had to be something out of a nightmare. Your own personal hell. 

 When you finally composed yourself, you quickly changed into your comfiest sweats and tank top. You wished you could make a run for your room, anything to avoid the impending conversation but you knew the brothers would follow, they were all stubborn and persistent when they wanted to be. 

 With a deep breath, you stepped out of the bathroom and towards the living room. What hushed disagreement the brothers were clearly having abruptly ended when they noticed you. Awkwardly you remained standing, unsure where to sit. The only open spots were on the couch between Hvitserk and Ivar or one of the recliners as Ubbe sat in the other one. Sigurd reclined on the rocker gaming chair on the floor. 

 Averting your eyes, you started towards the open recliner only to have a strong arm snake around your waist as you passed by and pulled you onto the couch. You squeaked as you suddenly found yourself perched on Ivar's lap. Somewhere you had certainly never been before. 

 "Where do you think you're going?" He asked, a cocky grin spread across his face. 

 "Um, over there." You nodded your head towards the other open spot. 

 "No, you're sitting here now."

 "Stop hogging her, brother." Hvitserk reached over and dragged you off Ivar. Somehow you ended up with your back against Hvitserk's side, his arm slung around you and your legs across Ivar's lap, him slowly running his hand up and down them. 

 Ubbe raised an eyebrow at the three of you. "Are you done yet?"

 "I thought we were just fine but I guess Hvitty had other plans." Ivar snarked, rolling his eyes. 

 "We're good now." Hvitserk said with a cheesy smile, making you giggle. 

 "So how are you really doing, y/n?" Ubbe asked, staring at you with those knowing blue eyes. 

 "Um, I'm alright. Today was just…. rough." At the four questioning looks, you quickly explained about what you found this morning on Instagram. 

 Ivar slapped the armrest of the couch. "I'm beating his ass now and nothing you say can stop me."

 You snagged his other hand that was still on your leg and clasped it, as if that alone could diminish his deadly intent. "Please don't. He's not worth it. I just…. I just want to move on. Ok?"

 He grumbled, but eventually gripped your hand and gave it a single squeeze in acknowledgement. 

 Now here was the part that petrified you; but you needed to know. 

 "Um, how…. how long have…. was this your first time?" Your words stumbled out, making you cringe at how ineloquent it was. 

 "What are you talking about?" Sigurd drawled; one foot propped up so he slowly rocked in the gaming chair.  

 You licked your lips, your mouth suddenly dry. You dropped your gaze, as you whispered your answer. "My….my singing."

 "What? You sound bloody brilliant! The others have heard you more than me but you always sound amazing!" Sigurd exclaimed, a beaming smile on his face. "I don't know why you haven't gone out with me before! Oh! I'd love for you to try and sing in my band, we could use an amazing vocalist like you! Gods, we could get way more gigs with a beautiful woman like you upfront singing."

 Soon as Sigurd started talking, you covered your face with your hands. The tears you managed to repress earlier flooded back. Your shoulders hunched over, cowering into yourself at the revelation. They had all heard you. Apparently more than just this one time. It was mortifying. Long ago you stopped singing in front of others, no longer able to face the ridicule, the degrading comments always thrown your way. And now, these brothers that you had become so close to…. if they said anything negative towards you right now, you were sure your heart would fully break and no lyric would ever pass your lips again. 

 Hvitserk shifted behind you, turning you so he could wrap both arms around your waist and place his cheek against the side of your head. "Y/n, talk to us." 

 You shook your head, the barely suppressed tears and poisoned words clogging your throat. 

 Abruptly, a pair of calloused hands grabbed yours, forcing them away from your face. You were immediately met by a pair of piercing blue eyes, only inches from your face. 

 "Whose ass am I killing now? Huh?" Ivar demanded in a low, menacing tone. Between his tone and the fury burning in his eyes, you knew he meant his question, and that sent a nervous chill down your spine. 

 "It's not…. it’s nothing."

 "Bullshit." Ivar spat. 

 Hvitserk nuzzled your temple, his voice lighter but still with an edge of steel in it. "I agree with Ivar. Something happened."

 Biting your bottom lip, you closed your eyes. There were a few things that were just too painful to talk about and this one, they had unknowingly stumbled upon. 

 "Was it your mother?"

 Your eyes flew open, your head snapped over to stare at Ubbe in shock. He met your gaze unflinchingly, and somehow you knew he already figured at least part of it out. He accidentally overheard a phone conversation between you and your mother one time and once you got off the phone, he immediately pulled you into a bone-crushing hug and promised you never had to see her again if you never wanted to, that they would take care of you. Of course, you cried all over him after he promised that. 

 Ubbe leaned forward in the recliner, placing his elbows on his knees, gaze still intent on you. "What did she do?"

 "She…. she hated when I sang. Said I was just desperate for attention. That I needed to just shut up. That no one would want to listen to me anyway. If she ever caught me singing…. once she duct-taped my mouth shut."

 You could hear the gasps at your confession, followed by a round of curses. Hvitserk pressed a kiss to your temple, tightening his hold on you. Ivar squeezed your hands, still holding them within his own. 

 Ubbe nodded as if not surprised. He ran a hand down his face and sighed before stealing your gaze once again. "I have a feeling she wasn't the only one to hurt you."

 At this point, a silent tear trekked down your cheek. You sniffled, dropping your gaze down. "I had an ex who used to make fun of my singing. He used to say 'at least you're pretty'. When we would ride together listening to music, he would tell me to stop singing and 'leave it to the professionals'. At some point, it just….it was better to not sing in front of anyone. So I only sang in the shower cause I thought no one would hear me."

 Hvitserk turned your head, looking into your eyes. "Baby, listen to me. Your singing is incredible. We all love listening to you sing. Please don't be embarrassed about this with us."

 "I'd love for you to walk around the house singing, I could happily listen to that all day." Ubbe said, a tender smile on his lips. 

 "I second that!" 

 "Sig, you're only here on Sundays." Ubbe glanced over at his brother. 

 Sigurd shrugged. "So? I could listen to her sing all day. Maybe she should move in with me and actually be appreciated."

 "No! You're not stealing her from us!" Hvitserk said, practically cradling you against him, like a puppy afraid to lose its favorite toy.

 "It's not stealing if she wants to go!" 

 Ivar butted in. "I am more interested in this other shitty ex and mother...can I find them?"

 "No, Ivar. You have to stop threatening people."

 "Why?" He whined at you, tugged on your hands, your legs still across his lap. "You won't let me teach them a lesson so all I can do is threaten."

 "Also sounds like you have terrible taste in guys. Anymore shitty exes we should know about?" Sigurd asked, rocking his chair. 

 You figured at this point you were spilling all your dirty secrets so what was one more. "Um, I was talking to this one guy but when he found out I moved in here, he called me a whore for moving in with two brothers and told me I was a waste of his time." You softly admitted, having made sure none of them ever heard about that after it happened. 

 For a moment there was dead silence then….

 "I'm going to need his name right now." Ubbe said, malice dripping off every word. 

 "Yeah! Let's cut his tongue out! See what he says about that!" Ivar cheered. 

 You could not stop the laughter that came out. The idea that these brothers got so worked up over anyone that ever insulted or hurt you was both sweet and slightly infuriating, but mostly sweet. No one had ever cared about you as strongly as these four brothers. 

 "It's fine now. How about this? Next guy to hurt me, I promise I'll give you his name."

 "No! I want to cut this asshole's tongue out. Maybe slap him with it after!" Ivar smiled with a pure predatory look. 

 "I think you should just date one of us." Sigurd shrugged, watching everyone with a smirk. "Then you know he'd treat you right."

 "I like this idea." Hvitserk smiled, squeezing you lightly. "We would romance the hell out of you."

 "You guys are being silly. I don't even know what romance would look like." You giggled at the absurd idea. All the brothers were gorgeous in their own ways and could pick up any girl they wanted, why would they want you? Besides, your relationships were just platonic. "Is the interrogation over now? Want me to leave so you can get back to your game?"

 "Nope, you're stuck here." Ivar said, leaning on you now so you were sandwiched between the two brothers. 

 Ubbe chuckled. "We've told you before, you are welcome to hang out with us. Why don't we put in a movie?"

 After many arguments and some mild threats, a movie was finally chosen. You settled against Hvitserk, facing the TV, as you played with Ivar's hair, his head now in your lap. 

 As you watched the movie, you missed the silent conversation between the brothers happening around you. It was decided that your next boyfriend would certainly be one of them and in the meantime, they were all going to romance the hell out of you and make sure you understood how important and incredible you are. 

 Starting with making sure you sang whenever you wanted. 

devil 007 (prologue)

devil 007 (Bakugo Katsuki x Reader)

summary:

(demon!au)

Turns out Bakugo Katsuki never wanted to eat your soul, rather he just needed someone to play video games with.

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ's ɴᴏᴛᴇ: ʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏʟᴏɢᴜᴇ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ :>

                                                    ☆     ☆     ☆

𝑖. 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑢𝑒

“That was a fucking accident.”

“An explosion that big is not an accident!”

You might be wondering how the hell were you hanging on the tallest building in the underworld holding on to a pipeline for your dear life. While your notorious partner-in-crime Bakugo just watched as you dangled ninety feet in the air. 

“I swear if I die I will shitting haunt you for all eternity! You’d be fed up with all my shit the moment my soul reaches your territory. Just imagine, me annoying you fore—“

“Jump.” He grumbled. 

No. Jump? Hell no. You’d rather die than jump into his arms. Bakugo was more likely to miss, and you’d fall (probably five storeys) before he dare tried to save you. 

You wanted to scream. How all this happened in the first place, you hardly remember. No, you did remember. 

It was all because of that stupid book. 

☆     ☆     ☆     ☆     ☆

It was a mishap, really. The wrong book got delivered to the wrong place at the wrong time, and exactly the wrong thing happened as a consequence. 

You were a college student who had just finished the semester, and frankly... a miserable one you were. Failing a quiz was one thing, but you had to mess up your finals so badly a retake wouldn’t suffice. You had to take up the subject all over again. 

Sighing, you lay flat on your back. The ceiling had this magical property to suck up all the negativity in your life. 

(it didn’t. but you’d like to think so.)

You had all the time in the world to repeat the subject. The problem? Cash. Having a scholarship at a prestigious university wasn’t easy. One measly failure could mean bye-bye free tuition fees and hello student loans that could last centuries + a liver.

Doomed you were, honey. You groaned. At least the treasury board approved the student allowances; which meant? The poor student (you) finally bought the heavy shitass syllabus for your major. The subject you failed. 

It could take weeks for the parcel to arrive. What did you expect? You only ordered it days ago. The sooner it gets here, you’d be studying your ass off until 5 A.M. for weeks. Hooray. 

A sudden ring of the doorbell awoke you from your senses. Huh, it did arrive earlier than you expected. You scooted towards the door and twisted it open. There lay a box wrapped in tape, a sticker with the words ‘fragile: handle with care’ shone in bright yellow. 

You picked it up and shook the item. It was lighter than you expected. How the heck did a 700 page book become as light as a diary? Did they send you the wrong thing? Crap. You scoured the whole box to find neither details about who the recipient nor who the sender was. 

Oh, well. Did that mean you could keep whatever was inside? You grinned. Opening up the box, you find out it was a vivid red book entitled:

Ultimatum Wishes: The Ultimate Spellbook for Summoning Demons! All your wishes will come true! Follow the instructions inside. 

Yeah, right. Like you could summon a demon to send you a trillion yen.

(apparently, doubt didn’t stop you from trying.)

☆     ☆     ☆     ☆     ☆

First of all, what the actual fuck. 

Your curiosity got the best of you. The instructions were pretty easy; sugar, salt, dirt, water, a jar of mayonnaise, a drop of blood— basically, the usual ingredients for summoning demons. Like that’s shitting normal? You had to mix them all together and spread them into the circle you drew on earlier. 

Second, did you really summon a demon?

You were obviously not in your dorm room. It was bigger, darker, and colder to what you were accustomed to. After saying a stupid chant, you make a wish and boom! demon comes to you. So the instructions said. 

It was a joke, really. You never thought the book was actually real! Once you said your wish, a bright light flashed and... you were here. A basement like room devoid of light, making your fingers the only things you could see at the moment. 

You were sprawled on your back, staring at your hands. If only your eyes could adjust to the light then you would be on your merry way to finding the exit. Except, that you didn’t really need to adjust. The lights opened with a flash and you were met with red eyes:

“Took you long enough, brat!”

Lastly, who the hell was this?

The moment you and this miniature bomb exchanged looks, and he realized that you weren’t the person he was hoping for, the man grabbed the collar of your shirt lifting you high up to the ceiling. 

“How the fuck did you get here stupid human? Pretty gutsy of you to just waltz in like you own the place, hm?” He growled, slightly shaking you with every syllable he uttered. 

You barely registered it, you-know before you were lifted up, but this person in front of you was terrifying. He radiated waves of “answer properly or i’ll rip you into shreds” and you didn’t want to die.

(not at least before smacking this crappy brute.)

“Put me down you—you crappy dog! Treat me nicely and I’ll tell you everything,” You choked. 

He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “You’re really haggling with me now, maggot? The last time I checked I could easily squeeze the fucking life out of you—”

“T-The book! Shitty book! Followed it and I’m here!”

And with that you were dropped onto the floor. You yelped upon impact, rubbing the area of your neck with your fingers. That hurt.  Your eyes hovered to your assailant and saw his frustration building up. Hoo, a little bit more and he’d be on fire. 

“...How’d you get it?” 

“Sent to my doorstep. D-Didn’t think it was real I thought—”

“You opened it knowing it wasn’t yours?”

“Oh, no you aren’t! Don’t blame me for your shitty mistake in the first place!”

“Watch your tongue, human.”

You sighed. Everyone knew you were someone who wouldn’t back down from a fight, but your senses told you otherwise. There was a fine line between pissing him off and stabbing you in the heart, you knew you were likely closer to the latter part of the scale. 

“Fine. Whoever that package was sent to, it came to me instead. Why am I here?”

He contemplated for a while, searching for the right words to spout out. Oh God no. Were you brought here as a sacrifice? You shook your head. Anything but that! Sweat dribbled down your forehead. Why wasn’t he saying anything?

“...to kill...”

Yeaph. And with that, you blacked out. 

(imagine, fainting from your own demolition. oh, you hope you didn’t actually break a bone or two.)

☆     ☆     ☆     ☆     ☆

You awoke to a strange tapping noise, more like a smack, and groans of infuriation. The vivid colors of black, pink, and yellow caught your attention, making you stare in awe. Was that Mario Kart...?

The clicking sound came from the blonde who sat cross-legged on the floor, eyes drawn to big television screen in front of him. While you were on a black couch around three hands away from the man. Seemingly, he could sense your tiny movements as you sat up, compelling him to chuck a controller at you. 

“You gonna play or what?”

Huh? You took the object, feeling the texture in your hands. It’s been a while since you held a controller; even longer since you played a game at all. The game home screen flashed, the cursor hovering over the “new game” button. He clicked it forcing the game to switch into the character screen. 

The man picked Bowser. Ah, not surprising. You grinned as you chose Princess Peach.

The game began immediately after and you thought, wow. You sucked at this game! Your cart hit track walls, bounced on boulders, special items that you sent managed to hit you instead. Rigged, this must be rigged! Just because the last time you played the game was ten years ago, doesn’t automatically mean you were shit at it.

Your companion thought differently.

“You’re crappy at this game.” He sneered.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s just the first game! A warm-up, you’ll see.”

And yes, he did see. See you fail round after round, time after time, the twenty games you played seemed to only prove your awful skills at a simple multiplayer game. You groaned. How was it possible to lose this much? Even the computer controlled characters beat you senseless. 

Gently placing the controller on the sofa, you wrapped your arms around your knees. Was this a test? A test to see whether if you were worth killing? Oh boy, you would have been slaughtered at the first playthrough. 

“Are you going kill me now?” You murmured. 

If this was how you were going to go, at least you had fun. Well, you did lose more times than you could count. But hey, it was enjoyable. 

“Ha. You think I’d let you go that easily?” He stood up, turned and grabbed the controller. “You made a pact with me, and now you’re gonna run away?”

His other hand reached for your chin and pulled it up, your eyes meeting his. 

“What’d you wish for, princess?”

alright. so that’s the prologue! thank you for reading. i’ll have the chapter one ready soon. so pretty much, what happened was: you received a package. bored as you were followed the instructions and summoned a demon. except, you were actually summoned somewhere else to bakugo no less. 

the introductions come on to the next chapter!! please leave a like if you like it aaaaa it would mean alot ;;;;

How do you feel about Dimentio? This is how I feel. Given how his boss fights show he is a boisterous weakling who relies on the heroes acting stupid not to kill him right away. He is just shoed in like Mephiles and like Mephiles all of his villainy gets undone with zero casualties like nothing happened. His final boss fight as super dimentio is so anti climatic with lameass attacks that you would rather face Solaris. His one ball attack and movements rip off the magician from House of the Dead.

Dimentio is on the same rank as Erazor Djinn for me: a good villain in a not-so-good game.

To give some context for those who don't know, I’m not too keen on Super Paper Mario. To me, it's the Unleashed/Twinsanity of Mario games (AKA, the one that everyone hypes up the ass while simultaneously claiming it's underrated, despite being rather flawed), and that extends to the plot and its other villains. Count Bleck falls flat as a tragic villain the more you think about it, Nastasia is just there, Mimi is a brat, and O'Chunks is a tired “hurr hurr Scottish people are dumb and gross” cliche. And the plot, while not being that much darker in tone than that of Thousand Year Door, is a lot more up-its-own-arse for Mario standards, and with the exception of Luigi, the regular Mario cast isn't intertwined with the new characters and the plot nearly as well as the first two Paper Marios, or the Mario & Luigi series for that matter. They may be the ones you're playing as, but it often feels like they're not really part of the story, if that makes sense.

But Dimentio? I actually do like him, and that’s mainly because I feel he's a better execution of what they tried to do with Mephiles (another thing he has in common with Erazor). I know that might sound like an oxymoron considering everything I just said, but my point is that Dimentio's intelligence/power level ratio is consistent compared to Mephiles, his personality is interesting despite his straightforward evil, and although his master plan is elaborate, he doesn't really make any glaring mistakes, at least nothing worse than that of the average video game villain. I'll agree that the final battle was weak, but so were the other bosses in SPM.

He's far from my favourite of the Mario rogues gallery (I prefer Cackletta and Fawful, the X-Nauts, K. Rool, King Olly, and certain portrayals of ol' Bowser himself), but overall, he's fine in my book.

not sure if you do anything like this, But what do you think MNC!IsakandEven are doing right now?

oh man anon i have to tell you it’s been ages since i’ve even thought about making new cliches but it’s IMMENSELY COOL there are still people thinking about this fic and these boys!! so bc i was just so irrationally pleased about this ask i dug up some [very old like from 2018 rip] notes of some post-canon hcs i came up with and using those i’m gonna come up with a new list of 2020 appropriate hcs - hope you enjoy them :’]

[side note but this made me realize that 2020 is canonically FOUR YEARS after the end of skam s3 as well as the mnc timeline????? fuck me sdkjfnsdkf]

hmm not sure what the norwegian uni system is like or what quarantine life looks like over there rn but if they’re still in school then Even probably applied to film school after a gap year or two and isak is studying idk compsci or something [for the job security yk]

Even’s friendship with balloon squad still going strong! he’s actually a pretty integral part of their yt channel now, helps them with bts stuff and editing videos and they’re twitch streamers now too so he helps with their stream set up bc none of them [except for maybe mikael] know what the hell they’re doing

mikael made him sit down and do film school apps with him so they probably are going to the same program. Even realized he was into more of the visual storytelling aspect of things so he’s probably leaning more toward cinematography/editing, mikael still on the director track. 

isak is of course subscribed to their channel and comments on all of the videos that Even appear in and Even pins every single comment which baffles the channel’s other subscribers bc it’s always shit like “wow what pretentious hipster came up with this shit” and “congrats on being the token white boy” [”Isak,” Even says, kicking at Isak’s ankle where they’re sprawled all over their couch, “you’re a token white boy too”] and “lol ur ugly” [to which even responds using the hei briskeby account “<3” and everyone is like ??????????????????????????????????]

if they’re still in oslo they probably regularly have lunch with each other’s parents. For holiday get togethers they trade off between Even’s parents’ new flat and Isak’s mom’s house, and whenever Even’s parents come to Isak’s mom’s house there’s always lots of jokes about the house they used to live in like “oh HATE what the new neighbors are doing with OUR YARD” or whatever

they probably moved into a flat together 1 or 2 years ago, idk how expensive rent is in Oslo but as they’re both students i’m gonna say they’re probably in a flatshare of some kind. isak insisted on having his own room so he can have a space to go when he wants to sleep without Even hogging the blankets [still a point of contention between them almost a decade and a half into them knowing each other!] so technically on paper they have their own rooms but let’s be fucking real at this point isak’s room is less his room and more the room that has his X-box

for the first like week [maybe even the first month] their roommates were so very confused as to whether they were actually together or just really really close friends [they’re constantly bickering but also spend all their time together but also spend all their time together playing mario kart????] and isak and even probably like forgot to tell them [like they’ve always been “isak and even” u know and now they’re “isak and even plus bomb ass sex and lots of smooches” but still isak and even but they probably forget people they’ve just met don’t know that] and probably had an ongoing debate about it 

”Even leaves Isak little drawings on the bathroom mirror in the morning, they’re definitely dating!” “Nah man they’re just friends why wouldn’t they share a room if they were together [worth noting at this point they don’t realize isak’s been sneaking into even’s bed basically every night but don’t worry they will eventually]” “okay if they’re not together they’re definitely pining and should get their shit together bc if I have to see Even give Isak another soppy look over breakfast when he’s not looking i’m going to fucking lose it”

Up until the day they’re sitting at the kitchen table and Even is like “okay i’m gonna get some groceries now” and isak leans over the table to give him a peck on the lips and says “kay love you” and their roommates are like “oh???? you two have finally started dating then??????” and Isak frowns and says “we’ve been dating for three years” and Even yells from the other room “BUT ISAK HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH ME SINCE HE WAS SEVEN” and their roommates’ brains have completely short-circuited

later isak is still frowning like “didn’t we tell them??? i could have sworn we told them” and even is like “do you remember what you said when we first met” and isak is like “i said i’m isak and this is my boy even” and then he’s quiet for a second and he says “oh”

a year or two after that whole mess their roommates cannot believe they ever even doubted but for the most part they’re good roommates and keep the noise levels down so everything is chill [except it’s hard to hang out with them sometimes not because they engage massively in PDA although sometimes they do but because their conversations include so many layers of inside jokes, years and years of them, it’s hard for someone not well versed in the isak-and-even language to follow]

They probably have a dog. maybe two

as of this very second i hope they’re both asleep isn’t it like almost 5 am over there lol

hope this is what you were looking for anon =] thanks for the ask, it was fun to think about these boys again!

Repost: Delightful Spite

This was a request piece I wrote last year, I think, I have no memory of who requested it, but its for everyone to enjoy regardless.

Just a heads up: this is a reader insert with “she/her” identifiers.

Edited by @the-wild-ego​

Mare was the friend a girl could count on to have her back. 

Bad break up? Here’s a variety of alcohol and ice cream, plus, “Do I need to go pay him a visit?”

Working late and don’t feel comfortable walking home? He’ll show up in front of your work, decked out in the most punk-ass outfit he could put together. If anyone ever thought to give you a hard time outside of the store, they’d think twice.

When it came to being your matchmaker/wingman, he really needed to give it a rest.

So far he had tried to set you up with an unbalanced doctor, an over eager showman, and a robot clone of himself. 

When he approached you about another friend, you shut him down immediately.

“Mare, I love you, and I trust you with my imaginary children, but I’m never letting you set me up again.” You said this without breaking your focus on the TV screen. You’d been bored and had started in on an all day Mario Kart endeavor. You were neck-and-neck with Yoshi, with Baby Bowser riding on your ass. 

Mare sat next to you on the couch, his eager smile still in place with the offer he came in with, “So they weren’t your type, but this guy, I promise, will be your perfect match. For example, it took me weeks to get him to agree to go on a date.”

“Fuck you, Yoshi!”

“He’s got a twisted humour, just like you.”

“Take that red shell and shove it up your ass!”

“He’s not too bad looking, even has a bit of an edgy thing going for him. You like edgy right?”

You smiled in satisfaction and relaxed as you crossed the finish line in first place. Finally facing Mare, who’d dropped his smile, you told him point blank, “If it took you weeks to convince the guy, then I’ll one-up and make you work at it for a month.”

This decided, you got off the couch to get a drink. 

Mare followed after you and leaned against the door frame as you went digging in the fridge, “I promise to never try and set you up again if this guy falls flat.”

A bottle of water in hand you rebuffed, “That’s what you said with the last guy.”

“How was I supposed to know an android could be embarrassed enough to shut himself down?!” Mare had genuinely thought Mal would have been a good match. They were different enough from each other, that it would have been like she was dating his twin brother. 

You went back to the living room and took up your controller, “Mal was too innocent for me, and you knew it. Now you either pick up the other controller, or you entertain yourself some other way. We’re done talking about this.”

Mare pursed his lips in thought, looking at the controller you offered he got an idea, “I’ll play you for it.”

“Play me for what?” You narrowed your eyes, seeing the familiar smug twitch to his lips.

He sat on the couch and grabbed the second Switch controller, “If I win, you go on this date. You win, and I’ll never try setting you up again. Deal?”

This was an interesting gamble. So far Mare was tied with you on wins. You were both super competitive, and wouldn’t refrain from physically blocking each other to win. 

On the one hand, the worst event was going on this date and suffering another awkward experience. On the other, Mare would stop trying. 

“Very well, you have a deal. If you cheat, I win by default, got it?” 

Mare repositioned himself into, what you called, his 'serious gamer pose’. His eyes already on the screen, he nodded, “Deal.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh stop pouting already, I won fair and square.” Mare chided from the driver’s seat.

You were pouting. You hadn’t stopped pouting since he’d beaten you two days ago. 

“I still think you cheated without me noticing.” You grumbled back.

Mare rolled his eyes, “Whatever, just don’t be pouting through your date. You don’t want him to think your bad mood is his fault. Besides, you shouldn’t be pouting when you’re all dressed up.”

He had a point there. You were dressed in your favorite black dress that stopped at your knees, the skirt was loose and flowy with red roses along the hem. The top half clung to you in a way that was flattering, with a sweetheart neckline, and off the shoulder straps. For a bit of comfort, instead of appeal, you chose to wear your nice, new, black combat boots. You’d drawn roses on the side with a metallic, red sharpie. 

To finish it off you’d applied ruby, red lip gloss; a dusting of shimmer, pink eyeshadow; and a flawless application of eyeliner. 

You labelled the look, ‘Badass Beautiful’.

“We’ll just make fun of you instead.” You finally quipped back.

You’d decided from the start, that regardless of the guy, you were going to hold a grain of salt against him the entire night. Petty as it was, you couldn’t convince yourself otherwise.

The car came to a stop outside your favorite restaurant, The Spaghetti Factory. Your stomach growled in anticipation of their three cheese and mushroom ravioli. 

Mare gestured towards the building, “He’ll be in there already, the reservation is under my name.”

You opened the car door and a strong wave of garlic bread hit you. Your stomach gave another ravenous growl. You hopped out of the car and gave Mare one more pout, “If he ruins my ravioli, I will make you pay.” This warning given, you slammed the door.

Mare immediately took off, giving you no chance to change your mind.

Holding onto your purse strap a bit tighter, you went inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were in trouble.

Your entire plan was going down the drain. 

Your petty inner self was seething that Mare was winning.

Antisepticeye, the guy you’d been set up with, was just your type.

Dressed in black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt, and a black blazer, he was a perfect match to your outfit. On top of that, his hair was green. With your own hair being dyed a vibrant red, the two of you must look like gothic Christmas enthusiasts. 

Until you reached the table, he’d been resting his elbow on it with a surrely pout. Once his sight fell on you, his eyebrow had raised and a spark of something had lit up in his eyes. 

You’d awkwardly gotten through introductions, leading into the amusing subject of Mare forcing this arrangement. 

“That arse tried setting me up with another chick a couple months back. I wanted to stab myself before we even placed our orders.” Anti groaned, his fingers twitching towards the butter knife on the table.

You giggled, leaning forward to eagerly share, “She couldn’t have been as bad as the doctor he put me with. He kept calling the waiters ‘NURSE!’ It was ridiculous. I didn’t talk to Mare for a week I was so embarrassed.” 

Anti looked incredulous, “I know that guy, what the fuck was Mare thinkin’?!”

“Thank you!” 

The waiter came over then, and you were pleased when Anti ordered the same thing as you after you recommended it.

A complimentary basket of fresh made garlic bread rolls were left on your table. You loved these rolls, especially when they were still warm, which these were.

Anti watched you expertly rip the roll down the middle and apply butter. 

Half of your roll in your mouth, you watched amused as he tried to copy your trick. 

The roll turned into a deformed mess in his hands. 

His eye twitched, a sign of his annoyance. 

Before you could offer to show him the trick, he shoved the bread lump into his mouth. As he chewed, he grabbed another roll. Instead of trying your trick again, he showed you one of his own.

In awe, you watched him take out a pocket blade, stab it into the very edge of the roll and into the table, and yank on the roll. It sliced down the middle, leaving the edges neat and clean. He withdrew his blade and put it back in his pocket, giving you a wink as he smoothed out the table cloth to cover the new hole he’d made. 

You bit your bottom lip, glancing around to check if anyone saw this happen. Seeing that you were in the clear, you snickered, “Oh my god, you can’t just whip out a knife! If you’d started a panic, I wouldn’t get my ravioli.” You tried to end on a pout, but his smirk made it impossible to hold.

After that little knife trick, you started asking him about his interests and what else he could do with it. 

That lead into him asking about your interests, and then back to him.

The conversation kept going right up until the ravioli was served. At which point, you were both too engrossed with your pasta to keep long sentences going.

You were nearly finished eating, and debating on dessert, when you felt your phone go off. 

Looking at the screen you rolled your eyes, which Anti noticed.

“Bet you the last roll I know who that is.”

“Help yourself, but only if you promise to go along with my story.” You smiled as you said this, your thumbs already at work typing out your lie to Mare.

Anti didn’t take the bread roll, instead choosing to lean forward and try to read your screen. You finished the text and showed Anti.

Mare: How’s it going? You staying for dessert?  ;) 

You: Yes I’m staying for dessert. Only because their apple crumble is amazing. It’ll also make me feel better after this new crap experience. You will never play matchmaker for me again. 

Anti was grinning by the time he finished reading. He then broke into laughter when he pulled out his phone. He turned the screen towards you and you were right beside him in a fit of giggles.

Mare: Dude, what did you do?! 

Anti: Whipped my knife out and offered to butter her roll.

The dirty implications were not lost on you, which only made it that much funnier. 

You nearly had tears streaming down your face as you calmed yourself when the waiter came over.

“We’ll get an apple crumble to split please.” before this, Anti had agreed it sounded good.

Anti coughed trying to keep his laughter in check, “Two coffees, too.”

You hadn’t thought to include coffee, and it did sound like a good addition. Especially since this new game would be going on for a while, judging by the frantic texts you were getting from Mare in apology.

Once the waiter left, you managed to ask through more giggles, “H-how long do you think we can keep this up?”

Anti shrugged, grinning still to the string of cursing text messages Mare was sending him, “Until he catches on?”

“Well I don’t intend to tell him anytime soon.” 

Anti’s smirk was all teeth and delighted interest, “Thatta girl.”

Samus: I’m sorry? What was that again? Doomguy: I’m a god. Samus: You’re god? Doomguy: No not god, but *A* god. Not *THE* god. At least I don’t think. Samus: Because you survived a plasma bolt? Doomguy: I didn’t survive a shot, I wasn’t just capped yesterday. I’ve been eviscerated, blown to Smithereens, ripped to shreds, torn in half, eaten alive, cooked in flames, and been frozen like goddamn ice cubes. Samus: Oh really? Doomguy: And everytime, I wake up in hell, and march my happy ass back into the world, albeit without as much armor as before. I swear, I must be immortal. Samus: Why are you telling me this? Doomguy: Cause I want you all to believe me. Samus: You’re not a god. This is 4 years of Simon’s Christmas parties speaking. Isabelle: Uh, I could take your guy’s orders later if you want. Doomguy: How do you know I’m not a god? Spending 4 Christmas parties with a medieval Christian? Samus: No! Cause it’s flat out ridiculous! Isabelle: [Mouthing] I’ll come back. Doomguy: Isabelle. This is Isabelle. She and her brother (or cousin I can remember) have been working with the Villager for several years now, helping the poor kid manage the entire town by himself. But she works herself to much and the only thing both she and Villager want, is for her to take a vacation. Isabelle: I probably should take one. Samus: What are you doing? Doomguy: This is Waluigi and Daisy. Even though you know them through Mario and his buddies, you don’t know they bond with each other over the fact both of them are constantly ignored and that Waluigi gave up his spot for Daisy. Daisy: Oh! You shouldn’t have! Doomguy: This is Shovel Knight. He’s been trying to get into the Roster for the past 2 years. But he’s happy enough to get an assist trophy. Asides from that he things he’s a Kleptomaniac cause of his Jewel and armor collection. Shovel Knight: OH THANK THE GODS IM NOT THE ONLY ONE! Doomguy: This is Snake, he frankly doesn’t like it here but the only reason he stays is cause he likes hanging out with all you guys. But if you weren’t here, he’d rather be back on base watching restricted flicks with Otacon. Snake: Uh... no comment? Samus: Is this some kinda trick? Doomguy: Maybe The real god uses tricks, maybe he’s not omnipotent. He’s just been around long enough, like me.

Actual Conversation upon Doomguy’s entrance into Smash

Mistakes were made pt. 7 (Peter Parker X reader)

A/n: this is my very first FanFiction! Please be kind 😅 and please feel free to give me feedback!

Summary: it's finally homecoming season! You should be happy for Peter and vise versa right? You both couldn't be more wrong.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Y/N: your name

Y/L/N: your last name

Y/E/C: your eye color

Word count: 2,185

_________________________________________________

Two days after your chat with Spider-Man on the roof, Peter walked out of English and into the hallway of midtown high. He was still reeling from everything that happened yesterday. How you had confided in him, how you had loved him for the last 10 years, how it was Tom’s idea to make him jealous, and how it was working. He had to find Tom and find out the sudden interest in Y/N.

It wasn’t that hard to find him, since he was with you and his friends with his arm around your waist. Even though he knew you and Tom were doing it on prepose, it still got his blood boiling. “Tom.” He said walking up behind the two of you, causing Y/N to jump a little at the sound behind her. You both turned around to face him.

“What do you want Parker?” He asked slightly annoyed and amused at the same time, pulling you closer to him than you were before.

Peter saw him do that and was livid but did his best to hide it, that should be his arm around your waist, not Tom’s. “I need to talk to you.” Peter said. “Alone.” He stated looking at you. Tom just scoffed.

“Anything you say to me, you can say it in front of my date.” He replied squeezing your waist causing you to yelp in surprise. You looked so uncomfortable under his touch. You tried your best to hide it, your best wasn’t good enough. Peter could see right through your act.

Your face held a look that longed for Peter’s touch. It hurt him just knowing how much you loved him.

Peter looked into your soft Y/E/C eyes and saw nothing but sadness and regret. “Actually, I can’t. Please?”

Tom looked surprised, Peter was BEGGING. Looks like all Tom had to do was show his true feelings for Y/N and it did the trick. Peter led him out of the hallway and into the boys bathroom. “What’s up?”

“You and Y/N is what’s up.” Peter flat out said.

“What does that matter to you Parker? You have Liz.”

“Yes, I asked Liz out, but that doesn’t mean-“

“Doesn’t mean what?! Huh Parker!?” Tom said striding closer to Peter. “Doesn’t mean Y/N can go out with anyone she wanted? Say yes to someone who DIDN’T use HER perfect ask on SOMEBODY ELSE while she was force to fucking watch and get her heart ripped out?!” Hearing that from Tom broke Peter’s heart. He realized how awful of a friend he’s been, and just how much he loved Y/N.

“Tom.” Peter called as he watch led Tom lean against a stall and run his hands through his brown mop of hair.

“What.” He sneered back, his eyes meeting Peter’s. Tom’s once warm brown eyes, were now cold and dark. Noticing this Peter pieced everything together, why Tom was so keen on making him jealous by acting like a couple.

“You love Y/N. Don’t you?” Peter said in a quiet voice, so soft tom almost missed it. Tom just stayed silent. He didn’t even need to say anything for Peter to know the answer. “You do.” He said finally said with a hint of sorrow.

Tom looked down, unable to meet Peter’s eyes anymore. “Ya I- I do. I really do.” Tom was finally admitting his feeling for you out loud. This project meant more to him then your and Peter combined could even imagine. “What about you mate?” He asked out of no where. “Do you love her?”

“Of course I love her! She been my best friend for-“

“No. I meant, do you love her.”

“Yes.” Peter said as he released a breath he didn’t realized he had been holding and swallowed dryly. He had finally admitted his feelings towards Y/N. He loved you. Tom smirked when Peter finally said that.

“What do you love about her?”

“I love everything about her man. I love the way here eyebrows knit together when she’s working on math, the little victory dance she’d do whenever she beat beat me in halo or Mario kart at the arcade. Or when she uses him as a pillow during your movie nights.” Peter smiled as he continued. “I love how she always smells like flowers when you hug her, or how her “safe spots” are usually the unsafest spots ever.” He laughs at the irony. “Or how whenever I get great news, she’s always the first person I want to tell because she’d always insist we celebrate. But mainly I love her because she’s my best friend, my rock, one of the only people in this world I’d trust with my life.” He continued on breathing heavily. “I love her Tom.”

Tom smiles to himself proud of his work here. He finally got Peter to admit his feeling for Y/N, and she’ll be happy. Even though he’ll be crushed. But that’s the thing about loving someone right? You’ve got to put their happiness first, and that’s exactly what Tom was doing. Putting Y/N’s happiness first. He walked towards the bathroom door before stopping and turning around to look at Peter. “You do realize you’ve got to tell her right?” Peter nodded.

“Take care of her at homecoming please? She means the world to me, even though it took me this long to realize it.”

“Anything for her.”

“And please don’t tell her about this? She deserves someone anyone better than me.” Peter painfully asked Tom.

“I Promise.”

*at your apartment*

After Tom dropped you off you finished what small amount of homework you had. It was finally homecoming weekend and you still didn’t have a dress. You pulled out your phone and texted Peter knowing he’d be done with his by now.

You

You busy right now?

Before you could even set you phone back down you heard a familiar ping! You look at your phone to see it’s Peter, your face broke out into a grin when you saw his name light up your phone.

Two metre Peter

I just finished my homework so not really why?

You

Can you come with me to get my dress for homecoming please!? 😁🙏🏼

Two metre Peter

Dress shopping? Really?

You

PRETTY PLEASE!? 😁❤️🙏🏼

Two metre Peter

But. It’s. Dress. Shopping.

You

I’ll get you, a #5 with extra pickles smushed down real flat from Delemar’s.

Two metre Peter

🤤🤤🤤 you know me to well my sweet Y/N

You

Yes I do. A fact that I’m very proud of. 😜😋

Two metre Peter

I’ll be at your window in 5.

You

😘❤️ thank you Two metre Peter

Two metre Peter

Oh fuck off 😂🖕🏼

You

Awe come on! Don’t be like that, I know you love me. 😂😘

He didn’t answer after that, which was sort of odd. He would normally say something like “uh huh sure” or “in your dreams.” You heard a familiar ping pulling you out of your thoughts.

Two metre Peter

Actually I can’t sorry.

You Wait what!? Why? ☹️

Two metre Peter

May needs me. I’m sorry.

You didn’t answer. You knew May didn’t come home for at least another couple of hours. Why did lie to you? What was he hiding? You decided not to pressure him and called Ned.

*at the dress shop*

Everyone you asked said no to coming with you or were just busy with their own things, so you had to ask the one person you haven’t yet. Tom. He surprisingly said yes. “What did you and Peter talk about earlier?” You asked through the curtains of the dressing room.

“We just talked about homecoming and how it’s in a day.” He said leaning against the wall looking at different types of corsages and boutonnieres. He settled on a simple single white rose with small flowers and the color of those flowers will match your dress.

“Okay what to you think of this one?” You said coming out and look at the mirror. You’re in a white satin, two piece, strapless mermaid dress with big ruffles on the bottom of the skirt. Your eyes meet Tom’s face to see him just simply shake his head.

“No.”

“No? Why it’s a nice dress.”

“Y/N, it looks like you’re standing behind a really fat chicken.” He laughs making his way to a brown velvet lazy boy.

“Do I really?” You sighed at his laugh. You go back in to change into the next dress. It’s a long flowey dress that’s colors kinda looks like the camouflage you would wear when you go hunting, and has a slit in the middle of the front of the skirt in between your legs. When you come out you turn to see Tom chuckling slightly as he shakes his head.

“Really?” He asked raising both eyebrows.

“What’s wrong with this dress?”

“Are you going on a hunt before homecoming?”

“Why don’t you go and pick a dress for me since you’re laughing at all my choices.” You said as you walk back through the curtain. You instantly regretted that.

“Fine. ” He was gone for 10 minutes. “Are you ready for your perfect dress?” He said before slipping a black halter two piece bodycon dress with roses embroidered on the sides of the skirt and top that would have stopped just barely under her ass. You laughed when you saw it, not even trying it on you slipped it right back out of the curtain. “Damn.” He said quietly. “You can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“Actually yes I can.” You said peaking your head out of the curtain and holding out your middle finger so he could see before disappearing back into the curtain. “Okay this is the last one. What do you think?” You walk out in a short strapless ivory tulle dress with light blue lace covering the bodice and a little bit of the skirt. Your eyes meet Tom’s through the mirror. You raise an eyebrow waiting to hear his thoughts. He’s simply to stunned to speak, he just gives a simple nod. You notice this and turn around. “Really? This is it?”

“Yes. You look beautiful Y/N.” He said standing next to you in front of the mirror. He felt the tips of his eyes start to burn and he could see his cheeks start to turn pink in the mirror. Tom wanted nothing more then to hold you right there, but you both agreed that you’d acted like a couple at school only. He still couldn’t believe he was going to take Y/N THE Y/N Y/L/N to homecoming. The girl he’s had a crush on since 7th grade. Even back then he knew you were the most beautiful girl, and still is easily surpassing Liz Allen.

This act they’ve put on at school may have been for their project, but he’d be lying if he wasn’t planning on enjoying every moment he had with her until this is over and she finds out how Peter really feels about her. “Are you okay? You look pale.” You said coming out of the dressing room, the dress you just picked was draped over your arm. Tom just nods in response not saying anything until you both reach the cash register.

“Hey can I ask you something?”

“I don’t see why not.” You simply say as you check out.

“Why did you ask me to come with you? Why not ask Peter?”

You bit your lip, unsure if you should tell him or not. You ultimatly decide to tell him, maybe it can help with the project. “I did. He was the first person I asked, and he agreed. But then very quickly changed his mind.”

“What made him change his mind?”

“I don’t know. I asked him and told him I’d buy him food, he said yes, I called him ‘two metre Peter’, he told me to ‘fuck off’, and I told him that I knew he loved me. Then he just canceled.” You said looking at Tom. “He said it’s because his Aunt May needed him.”

“Maybe she did n-“

“No. He lied to me. I know he lied to me because May doesn’t get home until 7.” You looked at your phone revealing the time. “It’s 6:30 right now.” You say as you proceeded to thank the store clerk and taking the dress from him. “Why did he lie to me? Does he not want to be my friend anymore?” You said, eyes glued to the ground as you walked out of the store.

Tom bit his lip. He knew why Peter lied to her. He got scared when she told him she knew he loved her, even though she probably said it thousands of times to him. Tom felt something twist in his stomach for the first time this week. Tom felt guilty. Guilty of coming between these two. (even though he kinda hoped this would happen) Guilty of wanting Y/N for himself. Guilty for suggesting this for the project.

Guilty for the mistake he made and still was making.

Part 8

TAGS: @morgannope @itsmyfuneralokay @ladysergeantbarnes @fandomsfavorite @andreuskystuff @thot-meatball @lexi-laz @huffleshufflebitch @what-thefrick-frack @spider-mendes

My main issue(s) with KH3

Spoilers abound, so please don’t read if you haven’t beaten the game or don’t want any negative opinions influencing how you see the ending/ the game. I did enjoy several parts of KH3, but this post is focused on things I had issues with, and if you don’t want to see criticism of your media please look elsewhere. 

This is how I interpreted the game as someone coming into KH3 with KH2 being the last game I played, and a playlist of youtube videos spanning lets plays, summaries, and humorous deconstructions as a codex. 

Here’s the thing. I’ve seen several people already break down how KH3′s story and pacing could have been handled better. Specifically, to more comprehensively tie in the 10,000 plot points that needed to be covered in a way that actually helps connect the main characters. I’m not going to get into all of that, because frankly I can’t fake knowing enough about the background lore of Kingdom Hearts to know how to better juggle all of the intermediary games into KH3. 

Most of my grievances honestly lie with the handling of the Destiny Trio and the Disney Worlds. 

I’m going to do a read more on this because it’s gonna be a long one. (Also very much a train of thought, so disorganized, sorry). 

So. Sora. Protagonist of the game (mostly. kind of?). 

A cheerful ray of sunshine.

A Keyblade wielder who has overcome traumatizing ordeals that tore him away from all he loved and knew at least twice now for over three years. 

A continuity disaster stuck being pinballed back and forth between happy goofs and hollow tragedies every thirty minutes in between busywork battles and off-scene disney films for 85% of KH3. 

I understand that Sora’s greatest power is supposed to be his optimism, as it’s sort of the prerequisite for going through disney worlds where people sing about their problems. I get it.  

However, there’s a difference between, “I’m naive and happy and oblivious and that’s why I’m a guardian of the light,” and “I have battled true darkness and felt true loss and decided that choosing to be kind, choosing to embrace joy in new experiences and relationships, is a bigger middle finger to the darkness than anything else.” Guess which one I prefer. Guess which one I was thinking would finally be Sora’s character arc. Instead he’s happy, happy, happy, happy... and then suddenly in the eleventh hour having a mental breakdown. 

Sora is written into a loop every game of kind, naive, but unchanging (”Don’t ever change, Sora”). That was endearing when we were both 14, but after almost twenty years it gets tiring to watch Sora get hit with a reset button every time you meet up with him again. There’s a scene in the gummi ship early on in the games where Donald asks Sora to “take this seriously,” and Goofy remarks that they seem to be stuck in a rut as Donald and Sora have the same conversation over and over again before entering the first series of Disney worlds. Sora knows he needs the power of waking in order to help his friends and free those trapped in his heart, but seems content to just drop into various worlds and wing it, and hope that it all sort of works out. 

And then when it does work out, and Sora uses the power to save everyone, he’s immediately told he’s doomed now? Like, what was the point of him being able to use this to connect with people if he’s doomed. Why did they want him to have this. What’s the point then of Sora having these strong connections. 

Each world makes a big scene about the friendships and connections that Sora makes so easily, but in KH3 there never seems to be enough time for Sora to actually pay them any attention unless the person is right in front of him. Sora seems to make connections for the sake of making connections in KH3, and the ones he has, he does very little to advance or reconnect with.  

Like, the whole point of 100 Acre Wood this time was apparently that Sora’s connection to Pooh was weaker for some reason. I honestly didn’t understand the reason or how it was magically resolved just from Sora showing up and saying hi? But whatever. 

My two least favorite worlds were Corona and Arendelle, for the same reason. There was no believable connection between Sora and the characters there. For fuck’s sake, the combat ally you get in Arendelle is the snow monster, not even a main character.

Sora is like the living embodiment of the B99 clip of Rosa with her dog. He just met Elsa and spoke a whopping five sentences to her, but damn if he won’t climb a mountain five times just for her to save herself without ever talking to him again. Like, literally that is the only interaction Sora has with Elsa. Same thing with Anna, and in her case I literally had to mute my tv so I could track what she was actually saying since they decided to shove two songs from the movie into this game.  

You spend the majority of your time in these worlds trying to play catch up to the leads as they have their movie play out around the bend in the road in front of you, out of your sight. Props to Disney’s ego that they think I remember the beat by beat plots of their films when they came out 9 years ago (Tangled) and 6 years ago (Frozen). I actually had the thought of going and watching Tangled just to remember what Flynn and Rapunzel got up to while Sora wandered around a marsh and had a pointless conversation with Marluxia. 

(Also, getting real tired of the “Good to see you Sora” “Who the fuck are you?” “Oh that’s right you don’t remember that game haha it’s fine it was a gameboy game nobody even knows what those are anymore.” That shit was getting old midway through KH2.) 

To be fair, the PoTC world suffers from the same problem as the other two. Sora shows up, sees everyone for thirty seconds, gets separated, and while we’re dicking around trying to find white crabs on the islands there’s a whole movie going on that we don’t see or participate in. I feel really bad for anyone who did not keep up with that franchise because I only watched the third movie the once and I was confused as hell. Also, the whole time I was finding the crabs in Port Royal all I could think about was this ProZD video. 

I just. I’m 26 years old. These movies hold no nostalgia for me, and maybe that’s the problem. I already had a connection to Aladdin, Peter Pan, etc, so I was maybe more willing to suspend my disbelief and just enjoy the interactions. But those Disney worlds also felt more tied in to the plot. You can make the argument of Marluxia and Larxene putting pressure on Sora to find the Wayfinders so that six princesses of heart aren’t used as backup... but where are the other three? Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel, and Kairi make four. Where’s Merida, Tiana, Moana? Mulan or Pocahontas even, since Moana was probably too recent. (But probs not, as it was probably starting development in 2014). If that’s going to be yet another subplot, shouldn’t you at least see it through?  

My point is, I can distinctly recall prior games mostly keeping to the established script in the disney worlds, but still letting Sora really get in there and interact with the characters. The heartless, nobodies, etc were a real wrench in the works for the plots, and had an actual effect on how the story was told and the order of events. Sora felt more involved in cutscenes and was an active participant in the world’s events instead of just a bystander. 

In KH1 and KH2 there was a dialogue happening between the villain of each world and a greater evil. Hell, in KH1 they were a unified council! In KH3 they’re puppets who don’t even talk to the bigger bad like Randall or Mother Gothel, or are there for a whopping thirty seconds like Hans. It makes it more and more obvious that the Disney worlds are just being shoehorned in as a contractual obligation than for any real purpose anymore.

 The only world that’s appeared in all three games, Olympus, was especially jarring. Like, you could tell there was a lot of corners cut on what VAs they could get for this game, as Phil does not speak once. Meg spends more time making eyes at Hercules and nodding than showing any of the sass she has from the film. (This was a thing in KH2 as well tho so I can’t complain about them continuing to drop the ball on even background women characters-- Oh wait, I can, because they’ve had T H I R T E E N YEARS to get it right.) 

Which I guess is as good a segue as any into Kairi Time. 

Listen. Did I mention I’m 26? Yeah. I started reading fanfic on livejournal. I was there when AO3 first got its start. I’ve seen the shipping wars. I know the dark past of Soriku vs Sokai.

I couldn’t give less of a fuck. 

These characters are still 16 and I am now 26. I’m fine with them trading noogies and maybe being able to kick back and play some Mario Kart. Kairi would wipe the floor with both of them because she had time to get good enough to beat Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie combined between KH1 and KH2. 

The point is, I don't care one way or the other about shipping. If my 15 year old self were here, they would be horrified I wasn't over the moon when Kairi and Sora finally shared the paopu fruit. As it is, I kind of stared blankly at my screen and went 'huh, there's gonna be a lot of fanfic fixing this moment.'  From both sides, I think, because even if you're into Sokai you gotta admit that moment did not feel romantic. It felt forced. Like "Oh hey, we've been putting this off, huh. Welp, here we go!" 

It doesn't help that I really, truly, don't like whoever Kairi's VA is in this game. Like, she sounds so ditzy and soft. Get that shit out of here. The dialogue and voice acting in this series has never been its strength, but honestly, I cringed my way through every interaction between Kairi and Axel because of how stilted and bad their conversations were! I’m definitely not saying that Kairi’s voice was stellar in 1 and 2, but at least her voice was clear, and had personality, and by the end of 2 was actually fairly strong. She sounded strong, and determined to be fighting with Sora and Riku, green as she was then, in the World That Never Was.

Whenever she talked in the third one I just sort of grit my teeth and wondered why someone on the production team wanted Kairi to sound so weak. 

Then they killed her at the labyrinth and I said, ‘Ah, that tracks.’ 

I played FFXV, so I guess shame on me for not seeing the signs when the girl love interest is about to be capable and not needing the hero to save her. She gets taken! And killed. Fool me twice, shame on me. 

I actually saw people excited about that Verum Rex thing and after seeing the Noctis ripoff reaching for the Luna ripoff covered in purple light I laughed, and laughed. And then sighed and reached for a stiff drink. 

All this to say that while I’m angry but not truly surprised that Kairi was once again shafted, I’m all the more pissed that they did it in the laziest, most insulting way possible by hinging it all on Sora needing a reason to fight Xehanort. Like, really???? Really. That’s your angle. The man-pain trope is so painfully overdone. Please. It’s 2019. Come into the future with us, Nomura. 

And I feel bad that all of the stuff I just wrote mostly revolves around Kairi being Sora’s romantic interest. But that’s because that’s all this game allowed her to be! Princess of light what? Bequeathed Keyblade wielder in her own right who??? Every battle she and Axel share with Sora they get their asses kicked in 30 seconds flat, so maybe Merlin should have left them suspended in time a little longer. Maybe long enough to convince someone out there in the universe that these two deserved to be competent. 

Hell, not just competent. Amazing. Kairi deserved to be able to stand on her own two feet and hold her own. To be running alongside her boys and not just be an object for them to tussle over or save. As Aqua’s somewhat successor, she deserved to be a terrifying wielder of battle magicks and flurries of light magic. 

To be replaced by Xion was just insult to injury. Like, I’m very happy that Xion got her heart back and was reunited with Roxas and Axel, but she didn’t need to be brought back at Kairi’s expense. The world won’t implode if the replica and actual person inhabit the same space. 

Which is leads us to our third member. 

Riku. To be fair. Riku got the most growth as a person out of the three of these kids, easy. We finally see a Riku who is confident in himself and his journey, and willing to take everything he learned along the way to help Mickey, Aqua, and even his own replica. However.... 

He doesn’t seem to give two shits about Kairi anymore? Did they even talk, like, once during the whole game? I can’t recall a single instance where Sora, Kairi, and Riku were in the same place together where it was just them, and they held an actual conversation. Hell, where they even said “Hi, how’s it going? What have you learned, had any good food lately?” 

God, even when Kairi was taken, and then when she was killed, Riku had one moment of anger, and then was completely, like, chill again, and back to talking Sora down. Like, what? I don’t want any love triangle bullshit, but Riku and Kairi were friends as much as Sora and Kairi and Sora and Riku are friends. 

And that’s what bothered me the most about the disappearance of Kairi introducing this bullshit narrative of Sora abusing his power of waking. He spent two games trying to get him, Riku, and Kairi together. But he doesn’t want Riku to help him get Kairi back? And Riku’s just going to let him go?! After all Riku has done and learned about falling to darkness and clawing yourself back to light and peace, he’s just going to let Sora do the same?

I call bullshit. 

And this is why when Sora suddenly faded out of view on the beach next to Kairi I slowly leaned back in my chair, dropped my controller into my lap, and flipped off my tv screen with both hands.

Animal Sentai Zyuohger - Episode 29

It, has been a long day. Not a bad day, necessarily, but a long one. So let’s get this going. It’s Animal Sentai Zyuohger, episode 29! Here we GO!

-PREVIOUSLY ON Animal Sentai Zyuohger, we got Captain Marvelous and everything was better. Also I guess some stuff happened with the actual cast of this show.

-PRESENTLY ON Animal Sentai Zyuohger, Eagle and GokaiRed are in a ferocious dogfight that returns to the ground…While The World catches up to the rest of the crew to find them fighting a bunch of crazy looking Sentai members! And also, that he has nobody to fight…He falls into despair.

-But then, there is another man of silver and gold. …No purple, though. GokaiSilver has appeared!

-Meanwhile, GokaIRed has Eagle on the backstep…And right when Eagle manages to flip it around, Gokai Change! GOOOORANGER! With his whip of the first ranger against the Eagle Riser, it becomes a vicious lashing duel…Until Eagle manages to cut that whip apart, and come at GokaiRed with sheer speed and ferocity, barely managing to rip him out of his armor while holding his own…

-But Marvelous, when Eagle hesitates, puts three rounds from his space-flintlock right into the idiot’s chest, enough to make his armor fail.

-Back at the big fight, The World knows how this works, and is ready to fight GokaiSilver…But Silver isn’t here for a big fight, he’s here to really all you stupid idiots. They don’t need to have a big fight! …Marvelous said to keep these guys busy, though. Marvelous says lots of shit! Listen do you all even realize they’re in a crossover episode?!

-Marvelous has his gun to Yamato’s head. Too slow, too gentle…But Yamato sees the injury on Marvelous’s hand…

-Opening!

-Episode 29! The Champion of Champions

-So with everything able to calm down at last, the space pirates end up getting brought to the cabin, and our heroes get to learn the legend of the Super Sentai. There have been 39 teams, up to this point, making you all the 40th…Also Leo sees two cute girls and is immediately ready to flirt, until Sela hauls him back.

-All of that leads to the question of Marvelous, and why he’s seeking the Grand Champion Symbol. And speaking of Marvelous, back with him, Yamato’s bandaging up his wounds, and apologizing that it got so rough, that he had to go all out. …You were holding back, kid? Well of course he was. He saw Marvelous make a point of getting Bunglay and his summon’s attention instead of just slipping off…You had a reason for it. And there aren’t a lot of dishonest reasons to make that kind of show.

-You fight with honor, Marvelous. You’re willing for things to be harder, so long as they’re done right. Yamato can see an honest core to you. And so, he asks, honestly and earnestly, to return this relic of the zyuman people.

-Marvelous promptly pulls his gun, instead.

-While back at the cabin, the core four explain how that Symbol powers the Link Cube. Their only way home. It’s not just a weapon, or a tool, or a historical relic…It’s their only hope of getting to see their families again.

-And for these four pirates, who lost family to a great battle…They can understand and respect that…

-As Yamato calls Marvelous’s bluff, ice cold. You don’t have the eyes of a killer, captain. …And you’ve got stones bigger than your brain, kid. But then, what Red hasn’t, over these forty years?

-Aaand that’s when Bunglay finds the pair. Instincts Awakened! Gokai Change! The fight is on…

-While the others get vibes! Bungay’s got to be on the move…And neither crew i going to let him just have their leaders!

-While Bunglay manages to rip some memories out of GokaiRed’s skull…And though Eagle hauls him off, he’s on the ragged edge, running half empty…

-When Bunglay calls up a bunch of GokaiRed’s best foes! …Shit, those are some rough foes…They’re up against the edge of the cliff, with few options and fewer ideas…As the gun barrage begins!

-They’re sent to the dirt below, their armors failing…It’s a damn good thing the teams find them at that point, or they could’ve died.

-And while they have time…Marvelous presents the Zyuohgers with a simple dilemma. Bunglay’s after this Symbol of yours, and the Whale connected to it. He and his crew take it back into space, and Bunglay follows. You still want this thing, even knowing it brings that much danger?

-…Of course. By their honor and their pride, they’re going to set this right. Bungled needs to be stopped, not lured away like a dog after a bone.

-…Then good luck with it, kids. Have fun. He shoves the Symbol right into Yamato’s hands, and the thing activates, unfolding from a projector into a cannon…And that’s about when Bunglay and his pack of summons find them. Well then, one quick round along with the new kids…All together?

-They stand, twelve strong! Gokai Change! Instincts Awakened! GOOOKAIGER! And Yamato Instincts Awakened with the Grand Symbol, bringing upon the power of the WHALE! It showers upon him, forging a new helm and longboat….!

-Gokai Red! Gokai Blue. Gokai Yellow! Gokai Green! Gokai Pink. Goooookai SILVER! Pirate Sentai, GOKAIGER! Champion of the surging waves, ZYUOH SHARK! Champion of the savannah, ZYUOH LION! Champion of the forest, ZYUOH ELEPHANT! Champion of the snowy drifts, ZYUOH TIGER! Champion of the world, ZYUOH THE WORLD! Champion of champions…ZYUOH WHALE! Animal Sentai, ZYUOHGER!

-This planet, is under the Super Sentai’s protection! And all twelve of them charge forth full of fury and grand heroism, weapons at the ready, as they face a ferocious mix of historical villainy! Foes of all different eras that Captain Marvelous and his crew helped face down…But they stand united, bringing a ZYUOH SLASH down on one, and (All) Beast Unleashing on another to chew him to nothing!

-While Gokai Pink and Green polish up their weapons a little before being forced to get in, and stand with their crew!

-Gokai Change! ALL RED! FLASHGUN! BOUKENGER! CARRANGER! MAGIRUANGER! SHINKENGER! Gokai Change! ALL RED! SUN VULCAN! GOSSIPER! GINGAMAN! GEKIRANGER! ZYURANGER! FINAL WAVE! The strengths of ten years of history unite, taking down two more…!

-While GokaiRed and Whale face down Bunglay himself, and the few tricks he still has up his sleeve! But as fierce as these foes are, they’re not able to stop Whale’s sheer speed and power, or the Megaman-ass cannon strapped to his arm…!

-Which, when he gives it a charge, pulls so much more than he thought possible…Excess energy showers off the barrel, as he lines up a single shot…ZYUOH FINAL! One rip of the trigger, and it’s enough to send him nearly flat on his ass, as the beam arcs into the sky…. skirting around the moon’s gravitational field…And coming down onto them in a single mighty explosion! God. Damn. Even GokaiRed is boggled, and a little scared of that thing…

-And Eagle promptly puts it away, letting that new armor fall…While Bunglay, who survived the mess, calls up one last big monster to give himself an escape plan!

-Pulling in a movie villain…One who nearly handed the Gokaigers their ass!

-Well then, only one option. Animal Kingdom Combination! WILD TOUSAI KING! …Why are the Gokaigers here?! So how’s this one work, you spin the boxes right? Please, just, let the Zyuohgers do their job! You have to spin with PURPOSE!

-Yeah well there’s somewhere to shove keys in this thing, right? Because they’ve got a plan. DENJIMAN! Draw upon the strength of history…With the Electron Full Moon SLASH!

-And LINEMAN! Super Big Burst! The finishing blows, one after another, start to put this huge monster on the ground…

-But bring it all into one. Four decades of heroism. All to the center…! ZYUOH FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY! Two thousand battles worth of power come together, cutting the beast apart! It is done.

-And when all is said and done, the Gokaigers have to take their exit…They’ve got another haul to seek, another battle to fight. They’re pirates, after all. Ignore their grand heroism. Anchors UP! Thus are these six off, Gai joining them properly on the battle this time…And nobody entirely realizing they left their robot bird behind.

-When Mario gets back into the cabin and why is there a robot in his house? A TALKING ROBOT PARROT?! Tell him your secrets, mechanical marvel!

-Credits!

HELL YEAH

Harry letting you ride his face and he's pressing you down onto his mouth to get you closer and he's properly moaning and smacking your ass.

This..,.,.,.this is an attack..,.,.

///

Just imagine you guys are laying back on your king bed, facing the flat screen TV across the room and locked in a heated match of Mario Kart. Harry’s clad in an old, scuffed up pair of black denim jeans and the yellow smiley face t-shirt he nearly wore to shreds back in Jamaica. His socks are mismatched (one has a fuchsia background with tiny flamingos all over it– this sock is actually yours– and the other is a plain black Nike ankle-high) and his pants are unbuttoned, hair fluffy and somewhat tamed since you’d just gotten home from a movie date.

He’s been gunning for you since the match started, storing away shells for just the right moment to knock you right off the track. Every time a turtle smacks the back bumper of your tiny vehicle, you let out a screech, which he returns with a smug grin and maniacal, triumphant little giggles.

When it’s come down to the two of you at the front, you randomly start to kick at his feet and legs, trying to topple him off the bed and distract him just enough to end him once and for all. But Harry can play dirty, too, resulting in him rolling onto you and crushing you under his weight as he looks over his shoulder, aiming the controller over his head and using this advantage to the max.“Harry, stop it! That’s not fair!” You buck under him, shoulders thrashing as you try to free your arms to at least keep moving in the game.

“You started it!” He aims a bomb at you, dangling the remote above your head and tapping his finger threateningly over the release button. “Sorry, pet. Gonna have to try harder than that.”

You kick at his knees violently, wailing out in defeat when you feel your controller shudder and let out the sound that signifies you lost.

Harry rolls off of you to tuck against your side, letting out a mocking chuckle as he sticks out his tongue. “Cheaters never prosper. How’s that spoonful of your own medicine taste?”

“Bitter.” You pout, shoving at his shoulder with the butt of your controller.

He leans down, sponging his soft lips against your own and down your chin. “Lesson learned, then?”

“Yep. If I’m gonna take you on, I’m gonna need to call Niall to hold you down.”

“Not what I meant,” he sing-songs, reaching over to grip the thigh you have slung over his hip.

“Not that I care,” you mimic his tone and voice, reaching up to bury your fingers in his burnished locks, twirling them round and round and smiling against his neck when you feel him humming lazily in approval.

Harry pecks gently at the tops of your cheeks, tilting his head to the side as he gives you a slow once-over. “Wanna go again?”

You shake your head slowly, tracing the index finger of your free hand across his plump bottom lip. “Kinda wanna ride something else.”

He quirks an eyebrow up at your blatant abruptness, digits digging deeper into the plush muscle of your thigh. “Oh, yeah?”

Your hand starts to trail down, fingertips ghosting over his neck and chest, smoothing against his clothed abdomen and tucking into his unbuttoned jeans, feeling the coarseness of his pubic hair scratch against your skin. “Yeah.”

In no time, you have your arm shoved down the front of his pants, hand tucked into his underwear and your jerking him off fast and steady, loving the way he’s whimpering into your mouth and bucking his hips into your enclosed palm.

Harry’s face tucks into your neck, hot lips pressing to your pulse while he uses his knees as a reinforcement, digging them into the mattress and thrusting up into your grip. “Feels good.”

“Hmm…” You whisper into his dampening hair, yanking at it around the nape of his neck. “Gonna come for me?”

He nods his head with fervor, mewling tiny pleas into the curve of your throat. “God, you’re fucking amazing. Getting me off so good. Gonna make me spill without even being in you. Want…”

You kiss at his flushed ear, nibbling the shell and revering in the way his spine shivers, encouraging him to finish the thought. “What d'you want?”

Harry pulls his face back from its alcove in your neck, cheeks tinged bright red, eyes alight with arousal and mouth swollen with need. He stares you dead in the eye, irises twinkling. “Want you t'ride my face.”

You thumb over his cheekbones, sucking at his quivering lips. “Yeah?”

His eyes go wide, begging silently as he nods his head again, but faster.

“Alright.”

A few minutes later, Harry’s splayed across the bed on his back, your thighs squeezing the sides of his head as you rock your heat against his face, leaning back with your hands propped against his thighs. Your head is thrown back in sheer bliss, mouth agape with wispy moans of his name as he licks into you with new-found energy, large hands groping bruises into your hips as he works you against his eager tongue.

You tilt your head forward to take in the view before you, just about bursting at the seams at how incredibly hot he looks.

Harry’s lower face is deep in your heat, his button nose nudging your clit as he licks into you with long, quick laps, pushing his tongue past your tightness and wriggling it around to prod at your walls. He moves his head from side-to-side, stimulating you further and moaning loudly against your dampness as he feels you tighten against his mouth. The vibrations from the humming causes you to jolt, your skin simmering as every cell across your body seems to be on fire.

And as if that wasn’t enough, Harry smooths his large palms from your hips to your ass, giving a hard spank to your left cheek.

You jump forward slightly in shock, letting out a stuttered yelp, to which he responds with a deep groan of his own. “Like tha’, sweetheart?”

You let out a shy sound of agreement, reaching up to grip the headboard, using it to help you rock against face.

“And this?” Harry repeats the action on the opposite side, cold rings stinging the area and biting at the sensitive skin. He massages out the redness, digging in crescents with his nails.

You release a drawn-out moan, pushing harder against his face and keening a feathery, “yes…”

Harry’s eyes glimmer with quiet power, mixed with a tad of arrogant smugness at being able to bend you out of shape so easily. The tops of his cheeks glisten with your wetness, his hair a messy halo around his head as his face moves up against you, chin tilting back and forth as he gives strong laps at your folds. He pulls back, blowing softly against your center and licking you off his red, dripping lips. “Absolutely delicious, darling. Such a sweet little cunt, all fo’ me.”

You watch with euphoric anguish as he dives his face back into you, eyes rolling into the back of his head when he feels your warmth gliding down his jaw and neck. Slurping sounds rip through the tense air, his lips suckling you into his mouth, the tugging sensation sending your mind reeling.

“Come f'me, yeah? Wanna feel you gush in my mouth, baby.” His voice is thick and moist, words sticking to your sweaty skin like glue and breaking you down piece by peace.

Your knees are tilting back and forth, working yourself against his flicking tongue and massaging lips, your release boiling at the pit of your stomach. “Fuck, Harry…”

You feel his hand lift from your ass, coming back down harder than before, rings rawing your already flushed skin. “Juicy little thing you are. Fuck yourself with my tongue. That’s my girl– such a good fucking girl. Let go fo’ me.”

And that’s exactly what you do. You feel your orgasm thunder through your bones, rising from your center to the very tips of your fingernails. Webs of colors dance across your vision, your body falling forward against the headboard, forehead pressed against your wrists as you look down below you, watching Harry’s eyes glowing with pride. He whines encouragingly against your dampness, feeling you pour out over him, taking in a deep breath as he indulges himself with licking you clean.

Your hips keep swiveling small circles against his face, riding out your climax to its zenith as your temples throb with overstimulation. You stay on top of him, watching hazily as he pulls his face back and lays his tongue flat against your folds, lapping slowly and maintaining grueling eye contact, the corners of his mouth overflowing with your juices. He sees you staring, those same corners tilting up into a mischievous smirk that has your eyes bulging out of your head.

When flashes of pain start to tinge through your veins, that’s when you finally topple off, face-planting the pillows to your left. You crane your neck to the side, your cheek pressing into the cushions as your gaze focuses on your blurry boyfriend, trying to regain a stable breathing rhythm.

Harry is staring up at the ceiling with a cocky grin carving his dimples into place, his lips, nose and chin glistening with everything you let out. His pink tongue peeks out, licking up as much as it can, his eyes lulling shut as he mewls in satisfaction. “Nice and sweet, pet. Jus’ how I like it.”

You let out a tiny whimper, a dull emptiness throbbing in between your legs.

He turns his head slowly, wiping off the left-overs messily with the back of his ring-clad hand. He scoots closer to you, that same hand trailing up the back of your naked thigh and smoothing over onto your bottom.

Harry lifts his head slightly, gaze flickering down to where his hand is placed, and his teethe dig into the skin below his lower lip. “Can see my rings on your ass.”

You look down and, sure enough, there’s a big red handprint covering the majority of your butt, a couple of dark, muave-purple bruises scattered evenly in a row over the outline of his fingers. The whole area is pulsing with a satisfying tingle.

You tilt your head back up to face him, watching his irises swirl with a type of dominant-like fulfillment and delight. He flicks his stare back to meet yours, lips spreading into a lazy simper under his teeth.

“S'hot.”

Boyfriend!Donghan

Look cool, isn’t.

He’s a tol shy bean.

Probably tried to compliment you when he tried to ask you, but it came out a jumbled mess, but luckily you could decypher mess and told him thank you and to pick you up at seven.

He was shocked you understood him, and that he had to pick you up at seven and he had nothing planned and he was freaking out mentally as you walked away.

Luckily he had his wingmen to help him out, but unluckily those wingmen can’t cook and instead just buy McDonalds and put it in a picnic basket because it taste fancy out of a picnic basket.

He wasn’t even planning on a picnic, but now he is because he has nothing else planned and they just gave him a picnic basket and blankets.

It gets to be like six thirty and he’s planning to leave, but realizes he didn’t ask for your address and he thinks it’s ruined, but you’re one step ahead and send one of his wingmen the place to pick you up and then they send him your address.

One of his wingmen friends probably told you what he was planning before hand, so you knew what he was trying to ask you, and you weren’t mad about it because you did find him really cute.

When the picnic goes well, and the dates after go well, he thinks he’s some sort of casanova because he got such a beautiful person like you.

He probably called his mom before and after each date to get advice, and probably still calls her.

After four or five dates, he’d finally ask you to be his girlfriend, which you said yes, like of course you did.

You’ve been dating like 2 weeks but people comment that you act like you’ve been married ten years, you’re just so comfortable around each other.

Claims he is not a big fan of skinship, but he actually is a huge fan of skinship.

Rarely starts it though, he’ll pout until you start it and then he’s like “Well if you wanna cuddle so badly I guess there isn’t anything I can do about that except cuddle you.”

And you’re just like yeah, but you know damn well what he’s doing, but it doesn’t bother you.

He’d want to call you a nickname, but is too shy too, until later on in the relationship when he starts calling you stuff like kitten, baby girl, and his personal favorite princess.

He constantly has his lips on your skin, your lips, just somewhere when you are alone.

In public to start with he’ll nope out and will just hold your hand, after you tell him to hold your hand.

But in private, it’s another story, the kisses never stop. If his lips aren’t on your lips, they are on your shoulders or neck.

A simple peck goes from sweet to steamy in .2 seconds, like this damn boy needs to chill, and before you know it his hands are under your shirt and he’s covering your neck in hickeys.

Covers your shoulders and neck in hickeys without a second thought, but he’ll always help you cover them, either with his scarf or your makeup.

He smugly smirks when helping you cover them, and constantly whispers in your ear telling you he could give you them to you in places that you don’t have to cover them up, since they are places only he gets to see.

He goes from blushing to pinning you against the wall kissing you in .5 seconds flat, like he goes from 1 to 100 real quick.

He’s very affectionate, like really really really almost too affectionate honestly.

Claims he likes hugs and cuddles more than kisses, but also claims they go hand in hand and he can’t live without both.

When you two are watching a movie or tv, he isn’t even watching it, he’s just snuggling into your neck the whole time.

Constantly giving you backhugs for no reason, probably creeping up behind you and hugging you and scaring you.

Has his hand on your thigh constantly, even in public.

Constantly has to be touching you, or he swears he’s minutes from death.

Probably teases you because he’s a cheeky little shit, and then acts like nothing happened.

Would do shit like grabbing your ass when you were at home, and then deny it, but you’re like I know you did it, and he just smirks.

Constantly smirks and does stuff like that.

If you are older than him, don’t expect him to call you noona, he ain’t gonna ever. But if you are younger than him, he probably wouldn’t be like demanding you to call him oppa, but if you do call him that one day make sure he’s not eating or drinking anything since he’s gonna choke and start coughing, then ask you to call him that more often.

If he was your first kiss, he’ll act like a cocky little shit, until his friends let it drop you were his first kiss too and then he’s reverted back to blushy and shy.

Will dance for you, but gets very blushy when you compliment him, but on the inside he’s like ‘compliments disgusting, give me more’.

He’d ruffle your hair, and if you started pouting he’d just laugh and ruffle it more.

All about couple outfits, but like subtle ones, he ain’t going all out in head to toe matching outfits, but coordinated outfits yes.

Probably says your fashion sense isn’t as good as his, so he’ll pick out outfits for you to wear, but really he just wanted to match your coat to the coat he was gonna wear the next day.

He won’t mind letting you borrow his jacket or sweater, but he specifically won’t let you borrow his button up shirts because he has no chill and he knows it won’t stay on long if you are wearing it and he would have to explain why all the buttons are ripped off.

Loves seeing you wear his big sweaters since you look so cute with your sweater paws, and to him you look like a damn angel.

He’d wear suits when you go out and all you can think about when he’s wearing them is the amount of disrespect you are receiving right now.

He wouldn’t even plan them dates ahead of time with you, he’d text you at like 5pm and be like we’re leaving at 7pm get ready, but then he gets there are 6pm and you aren’t even half-way ready.

He would take you shopping, and probably just ask you to try on lingerie or try to get your size and say he’ll buy some himself.

He might be a cocky little shit, but under all of it, he’s a gentleman, and he’d never do anything that would hurt you or put you in a really bad position.

Hella cheesy, you’ve been dating months and he’s still using those pick up lines he had thought to use as a way to ask you out on you.

A good 90% of them are dirty and make you blush and hide your face, but he loves watching you react like that.

If you go out to eat, he steals food off your plate, and then is like babe you probably ate that I didn’t steal it, but you know he did.

Fights wouldn’t happen often, and if they did it would be over something petty like him eating your last cookie or you cheating at Mario Kart.

They would resolve themselves, but when they didn’t and he got really mad, he’d probably leave and stay away for a few days wanting to clear his mind so he doesn’t say anything he’ll regret.

Yet, if you were mad at him and ignoring him, he’d just find you angry hella cute.

He’d squish your cheeks while laughing and get really pouty about you ignoring him.

Stares at you constantly, while probably saying something about wanting to take you to the museum but signs say not to touch the masterpieces yet someone has to nail the works of art to the walls.

Lowkey has a folder of random candid photos he took of you at random times, like he could be a paparazzi with his skills.

Loves sleeping with you in his arms, like arms tightly wrapped around your waist and you laying on his chest.

Probably begs you to watch him do something, like b-boying, but fails and hurt himself and you’re just like you idiot.

He’d beg you to take care of him when he’s sick or injured, and you will until he suggest for you to wear a naughty little nurse’s costume and then you’re like nope you can handle yourself.

If he was really sick, he’d claim his only cure is your cuddles, cuddles which he won’t get because you don’t wanna get sick also, since if you’re sick who is gonna take care of his sick ass.

Won’t help you clean or do any chores, he’ll just cling to you trying to talk you into coming to the sofa and cuddling with him.

Probably also watches as you do chores, randomly stealing kisses from you which probably turn into a full blown makeout session in the kitchen when you are trying to clean the counter.

He’ll purposely put things on the top shelf so you have to ask him for help.

He’d be full of cheesy and horribly pick up lines, but he’s also sweet and loving, and you love everything about him.

Moonshot - Chapter 8

Hey, I'm back! Yes, it took me a bot longer to update but I've been struggling with this chapter more than I expected because I had another ide in mind first but my mind went crazy and it took me another week to finish this one.

As always, hope you enkoy it and any feedback is welcome!

summary: Phil had a feeling that this Friday was going to be different.

That didn’t mean he was ready to meet his favourite baseball player, Daniel Howell, while he was cleaning the windows of a building.

or the au in which Phil is a shy window cleaner and Dan is a famous baseball player. This is their story.

words: 3.1k

no trigger warnings

Read on ao3 - (x)

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7

Chapter 8: Only A Week

Dan woke up to his phone ringing on Saturday morning. His agent Estelle wanted him to come over to her office to talk to him about 'some secret project' that she had some information about.

''Why so early?'' he had asked over the phone, but Estelle just sushed him and told him to get ready.

So, still sleepy and with only a coffee on his body he took a cab and headed to her office, yawning as he knocked on the dark brown wooden door.

''C'mon in!'' Dan heard Estelle shout from inside of her office.

Dan opened the door and walked inside, finding a suit claded Estelle already standing up from her chair to envelope him into a big hug, ''Dan! It's so nice to see you!''

Dan hugged her back, ''Yeah, it has been a while, hasn't it?''

He felt Estelle nod against his shoulder before separating their bodies and walking back to her office chair, indicating Dan to sit in the one in front of her, a glass table being the only thing between the two of them.

After asking the informal 'how are you's', Estelle went straight to the point. ''Look Dan, I received  a new email from the sport clothing brand we worked with a year ago. As you know, you being the face of their last clothing range was absolutely marvelous. Anyways, they plan on launching their new campaign soon and they want an immediate response since they had talked with another player but he turned the offer down last minute and they were planning to strat all of it next Wednesday so yeah, really last minute, I know.'' Estelle rolled her eyes but continued, ''The new baseball season is about to start but you have handled the promo stuff and games other years so it should be okay.''

Estelle handed Dan a few papers so he could see what kind of clothes he would be wearing and more stuff he didn't really understand about budgets, promo shoots and more along with the contract of this campaign.

Dan really had enjoyed working with this brand before and it had been a while since he had done it. This could be another good opportunity for him. ''I really like how it sounds...'' Dan said pensive, still trying to understand the papers Estelle had given him.

''Apparently, you will be modeling with Claire Vickard, the tennis player, and they want to take you both  to Ireland for a few landscape shoots, nothing too difficult, but you will have to stay there for a week. I've already talked to your coach and said it's fine, you are doing great at practice so...''

Dan listened attentively, picking up every detail Estelle was saying. Wait, a week in Ireland without seeing Phil? It shouldn't be that hard, right?

''So, are you interested? It is secret till the campaign is revealed so you cannot tell anyone, okay? If someone know they could ruin you, you know that, right?'' Estelle asked, looking at Dan with her big eyes as he nodded in understanding. You wouldn't like to mess up with the contracts, oh no.

''I think it looks great, it's a good deal and you have already worked with them, you can think about it a bit more but I advise you that we don't have much time,'' she said.

''No, I think I'm ready to sign the contract,'' Dan said, trying not think much about what it would suppose not to see Phil in those days, ''as you said, I already know them, so it shouldn't be really different.''

Estelle handed him a black pen and Dan started scribbling his signature in the bottom of almost every page, giving the stack of papers back to his agent once he was done.

''Perfect! I'll send the papers later and I will call to ask about the travelli...'' but Estelle's sentence was cut off by Dan's phone loud and repetitive chiming, indicating someone had sent him a few messages.

''Wait,'' Dan said, taking out his phone and instantly smiling as he read Phil's name on the screen. Without reading the messages, he quickly turned the phone on silent and pocketed it back in his trousers, ''sorry for that Estelle, continue please.''

Estelle's face expression changed form serious to soft, making Dan frown, ''What?''

''Who has you smiling like that?'' she said, as if he had noticed Dan's wide smile.

''Wha- what smile? What are you on about?'' Dan tried to dismiss it, but knowing she wouldn't buy it. It was Estelle, for God's sake.

''That smile!'' she pointed at his mouth, ''Your dimples don't show for anyone! So tell me, who has the powers to make you grin at your phone, uh?''

Dan groaned. There was no way he was getting out of this, right? ''Okay, his name is Phil. He is the window cleaner of my new building and we started talking by writing messages to each other on papers, you happy now?''

''Tell me more, c'mon Dan! How is he like? Have you meet each other without a big ass window in between? Tell me!'' Estelle almost whined, dragging the last 'e' of 'me' for emphasis.

''Fine, I will.''

So Dan spent all Saturday morning at Estelle's office talking about him and Phil. How nervous he was of meeting him that first time, how the blue eyed asked him on a date first, their last trip to the bookstore, even showing Estelle the few pictures he had taken so she could see with her own eyes how 'attractive and adorable' Phil was, his smile getting somehow bigger at each detail he could remember about Phil.

''You really like him, don't you?'' Estelle asked once Dan had managed to tell everything.

''I really do, Estelle. I really do.''

______________

Phil was waiting for Dan to come to his flat so he was franatically tidying his living room.

He had been writing, well, trying to, since he hadn't gotten any responses from the publishing houses yet so he wanted to keep writing something else in case his last story didn't work, but his brain wasn't cooperating. Phil could swear he had spent around two hours staring at the blinking cursor on the document, as if it was moking him for not writing. Why was so hard to write something!?

In all his groaning he texted Dan, asking him if they could do something today. Apparently Dan had been on a meeting with his agent all morning, asking if it was okay to show up now, to which Phil answered it was okay, whatever to distracting form his responsibility of writing.

Phil had been wanting to go outside, but since it was pouring down, he invited Dan over to play videogames in some of the consoles Martyn had lend him a few years ago, not realizing his flat was kind of a mess.

He had just managed to arrange a few cushions on the sofa when he heard the doorbell, meaning Dan was here.

''Hi'' Phil greeted him as soon as he opened the door, breath hitching at the sight of Dan just standing there with his messy and somehow dry curls atop of his head, a maroon jumper with the sleeves rolled up his toned arms that he had combined with black ripped skinny jeans, letting Phil see a bit of his thighs.

Those ripped jeans were making Phil have some thoughts he prefered not to share.

Dan greeted him back and steped inside Phil's flat, surprisedly pecking Phil's cheek, which instantly turned pink as if he had some magical powers to make the blue eyed blush each time he touched him.

''Thanks for letting me come over this last minute, it was so sudden so I hope I'm a good distraction for writing.'' Dan said, chuckling and showing Phil a small smile.

''Nah, it's okay, I needed to detach myself from my laptop, otherwise I will end up with the keys glued to my fingerprints'' Phil said, making both of them laugh at his remark.

''So, which game you wanna play? I have a few...''' Phil started listing the videogames he had as he led Dan to his living room, where he had already put the consoles out and a few snacks on the table.

''What about I race you in Mario Kart? I'm gonna destroy you! Best of three?'' Dan said mischeviously, sending a smirk at Phil.

Oh, so it was a competition then, uh? If Dan wanted to play, let's play. ''And what do I get when I win?'' Phil said, copying Dan's smirk.

''So confident, Lester. I will think about what I want when I win.'' Dan said, sitting down and picking one of the controllers.

Phil hummed in agreement and also sat down next to Dan, their thighs grazing as Phil picked up the controller that was left and starting the game, ''Bring it, Howell. You are going down!''

Phil suddenly felt Dan's gaze on him, making him a bit nervous, ''What?'' Phil said, turning his body a bit to face the brown eyed, who was biting his lower lip as his eyes travelled up and down Phil's body.

''Believe me Phil, I would love to go down... in more ways that you can imagine,'' Dan said in a low voice. Phil flushed deep red but didn't say anything. He wanted nothing more than forget the videogame and jump Dan just right in his sofa but no, he was determined to win this and the 'lame' flirting from Dan wasn't going to get him to lose. Oh no. No way.

Phil pressed play and both customized their characters, bickering about 'how boring and bad' car choices the other made, playing rock-paper-scissors to decide which one got to choose the traks they would be racing.

They kept bumping each other's shoulders and elbows from time to time, losing their balance for a second, enough to send the other's cars few places behind, hearing a few swear words from Dan and Phil letting out a few child-like screams everytime that happened.

It was the last race and they were even. As Phil had won the first race and Dan the second, this last one would decide who was the ultimate Mario Kart winner. Oh, and Phil was so sure it was going to be him.

''You ready to get destroyed?'' Phil said, selecting the last track they would be racing.

''Ha! You wish! C'mon, press play, I cannot wait to win this already.'' Dan remarked, rearranging his position on the sofa pressing his body even more closer to Phil's.

He pressed play but the strong and nice smell from Dan's cologne was making his head heavy, wanting nothing more than to press his face against his neck and not move for hours...

''Oh, Phil, look at you, so far behind already, you aren't gonna catch me if you keep racing like this!'' Dan laughed, making Phil come back to reality only to realize that he hadn't been plying attention and was in last place!

'Phil, concentrate, please.' he said to himself in hopes that he could beat Dan, who was in first place already and there was only a lap left.

Trying his hardest, Phil raced as good as he could, managing to be on third place just seconds before Dan's car crossed the balck and white checkered line.

''Yes! I won!'' Dan exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa to make a silly victory dance that made Phil chuckle, not even bothering to stay mad at the fact that he had lost, appreciating the adorable Dan in front of him just dancing and carefree.

Phil let him dance a bit more before he decided to take revenge, also standing up to be at Dan's eye level, ''It's not fair! All or nothing!''

Dan stopped dancing and crossed his arms, frowning at Phil, ''How is it not fair? I won two out of three, that's what we decided, I'm not risking an 'all or nothing', oh no!''

''You distracted me!'' Phil said, not knowing what more to say.

''How did I even manage to distract you? I was just playing next to you!''

''With your good looks and nice smell and...'' Phil put a hand over his mouth as he realised what he said. Could the earth swallow him now, please?

He suddenly found himself in front of a smirking Dan who was slowly taking a few steps closer to Phil, backing the blue eyed against the sofa till his thighs touched the soft armrest.

Dan touched their noses together, brushing them against each other sweetly. Phil closed his eyes, enjoying this little feather-like touch and hoping Dan would just kiss him, but apparently the player had other ideas, since he moved his head to Phil's left ear, lips just caressing the skin ''You smell pretty good too, Philip.''

Phil shivered. He freaking shivered thanks to Dan's sensual and low voice.

He felt Dan's lips against his skin, but now on his surely rosy cheek. Then again on his jaw, multiple times, getting closer and closer to his lips, where Phil finally felt Dan's salted lips on his, moving them slowly but repeatedly till Phil finally got his thoughts clear and kissed him back.

Phil felt Dan push him backwards, till both of them ended up on the couch, he under Dan's toned body, enjoying how well their bodies fitted together.

They made out for a few minutes till Dan suddenly separated, smiling mischeviously at Phil.

''What?'' Phil asked softly, admiring the job he had done by messing Dan's curls even more.

''I didn't tell you what prize I want for winning yet,'' he said, pecking Phil once more on the lips.

Phil looked at him a bit scared. What was Dan thinking about doing to him? Was going to be something sexual!? He hoped not, it was too soon, right?

''O...kay. What did you think about?'' Phil's voice trembled a bit, but not enough for Dan to notice, who sighed deeply and looked at Phil's chest, were he kept fiddling with the top button of his shirt.

'Why is he suddenly so downcast?' Phil thought. He hoped nothing was wrong.

''So, I'm leaving for a whole week this Wednesday for a secret project I cannot tell you about yet but I was thinking you could let me read some story of yours? I mean, I will probably have a few hours spare so I thought it would be nice to know what kind of stories you write, but only if you want to, of course...'' Dan rambled, still not looking at Phil.

Wait, Dan was leaving on Wednesday? For a whole week to do a 'secret project'?

And also, he wanted to read his stories? Phil wasn't used to people asking him about his stories, and less when the publishers had always told him 'no'. It felt a bit like a failure to be honest.

He heard Dan sigh frustratedly before speaking again, this time looking up at Phil, ''It's just, I'm in the public eye and you know so much about me already and I don't know half of the things about you, and I think your stories will let me see more about you, but again, only if you want to.''

Phil showed him a tiny smile. Oh Dan. He wanted to learn more about him by reading his stories? It was a touching gesture to be honest.

''Dan, yes, of course I will let you read them. I can give you the last manuscript I sent a while ago if you want to.'' Phil offered. 'Why is he so sweet?'

''Yeah, you sure?'' Dan asked, eyes a bit wide Phil had agreed.

Phil hummed and nodded, smiling at him, ''Yes, I'm sure, let me just get it, okay?''

Dan smiled back at him and separated himself from Phil, who got up and walked fast to his office, picking up the stack of papers that had been lying on his table for a while now and putting them inside an envelope.

'But what if Dan hates it? Would he ever tell him? What if he thought Phil was a mediocre writer and laughed at him for wanting to be an author?' Many thoughts passed his mind. Phil had to admit he was scared of Dan's opinion on him, but dismissed them and walked back into the living room nonetheless, where he found Dan sitting on the couch instead of lying down.

''Here,'' Phil handed him the envelope as he sat down next to him, ''my last manuscript. It's a bit long, I don't know if you will finish it in a week but...'' he trailed off, realizing he won't be seeing Dan for a week.

Taking into account that they were getting used to see each other often, Phil didn't know what would happen with them. A week wasn't that long but they were just going on dates, not even developing whatever they had further or not, they were... stuck. No labels. Phil wasn't really sure where he stood with Dan and even though it might seem silly, it made him feel a bit insecure.  

''Thank you. I'm sure I will manage to read it all, don't worry. I will tell you what I think about it, see if you are a better author than I already think you are,'' Dan chuckled.

Phil laughed a bit but changed the subject, ''So... this secret project... it's only a week long, right?'' he tried to keep the question casual, not really succeding.

''Yeah, from Wednesday to Wednesday... It was very short notice and it's such a good opportunity I couldn't let go to waste.'' Dan said, ''but I will text you or call you and we can skype if you are avaliable! I don't want to stop seeing you, I'm kind of used to seeing your face, and holding your hands... and... and kissing your lips.''

Phil could have melted right into his sofa but instead he leaned in and pecked Dan on his rosy lips, ''like this?'' Phil said in a low voice, smiling, knowing Dan would probably enjoy a bit more of... action.

''No, more like...'' Dan closed the small gap between them with a bit of more force, moving his lips as he had done a few minutes before, Phil's following him in sync, enjoying the little moment between the two.

''I'll miss you. It only a week but I know I'll miss you.'' Dan said almost quietly as he touched their foreheads together once they both felt the need for oxygen.

''I'll miss you too.'' Phil repeated, leaning in for another short kiss. ''Only a week, Dan. It's only a week.''

‘Godfather’ actor claims he knows who killed Marilyn Monroe

Lengthy earlier than the homicide, the women and a task in “The Godfather,” Gianni Russo was a 13-year-old with a bum arm. Freshly sprung from Bellevue’s polio ward, he ditched his neglectful dad and mom to sleep on flour sacks behind a Little Italy bakery and promote pens in entrance of the Waldorf-Astoria. It was 1956 and certainly one of his common prospects was mob boss Frank Costello. The don would throw Russo a fiver and rub the boy’s withered shoulder for luck. After just a few months of that, Russo objected to being touched. Costello revered the child’s gumption — and was much more impressed when he came upon that Gianni’s great-uncle was Angelo Russo, a Sicilian kingpin who had been hanged by the Italian authorities in 1947 after having performed a task in establishing New York’s 5 crime households. As chronicled in Russo’s new memoir, “Hollywood Godfather” (St. Martin’s Press), out March 12, Costello rapidly had Russo delivering packages of money all through Manhattan after which throughout the USA. Costello put up his younger cost in certainly one of a dozen flats he stored across the metropolis. Russo by no means left and continues to reside free of charge within the five-bedroom Higher East Aspect unfold. “I’ve all the time had an angel on my shoulder,” Russo, now 76, advised The Publish over lunch at Patsy’s in Midtown. “I nonetheless carry the St. Anthony medal that my grandmother pinned to my diaper.” Russo has loved a life that’s half Scorsese characteristic, half manifest future and half pores and skin flick. He claims he had threesomes with Liza Minnelli after each took a liking to the identical Vegas showgirl, and remembers scrapes with Frank Sinatra. (“He tried to slap me; I grabbed his skinny wrist and mentioned, ‘I’ll rip off your arm and shove it up your ­f–king ass.’ ”). As soon as, whereas watching a western with Elvis Presley, Russo took cowl because the King mimicked the on-screen pistol play with actual weapons. Much less harmful was his bizarre date with Zsa Zsa Gabor; the evening ended together with her setting him up for intercourse with a blonde who, “on a scale of 1 to 10, was a 12.” “Hollywood Godfather: My Life within the Films and the Mob” by Gianni Russo. Then there are the 2 killings he owns as much as, however was by no means arrested for. One alleged sufferer was an affiliate of Colombian kingpin Pablo Escobar. “Escobar wished to homicide my household in retribution; so I acquired John Gotti to set me as much as meet with him in Colombia,” mentioned Russo, acknowledging that he anticipated to take a beating or face demise to avoid wasting his household. “Escobar’s guys tied me to a chair and roughed me up. Then Escobar walked in, carrying ‘The Making of the Godfather’ e book. He mentioned, ‘Why didn’t you inform me you performed Carlo Rizzi?’ … He let me go in change for me re-enacting certainly one of my scenes, with him taking part in Michael Corleone.” (The Clark County, Nevada, prosecutor dominated the killing a justifiable murder, and Russo, who was not charged, mentioned it was in self-defense. He claimed that, as a pre-teen, he additionally murdered a person who was preying on kids, however Russo mentioned he was by no means charged. There is no such thing as a recognized documentation of this.) Russo added, “My life would make an amazing film, however it’s wilder than what anyone’s seen on display screen.” For example: “Marilyn [Monroe] was the most effective lover,” Russo recalled. “She simply wished to please you.” He was 16, Russo mentioned, when he struck up an affair with the actress, then 33. Costello had requested him to control her for the mob, which stashed its favourite moll in New York Metropolis whereas settling a problem she had with producer Darryl Zanuck on the West Coast. Monroe and Russo noticed each other, on and off, for 4 years. He claims to understand how she actually died. Russo confirmed The Publish a photograph of himself and the actress in 1962, on the CalNeva Lodge, a resort on the California-Nevada border. “It was taken three days earlier than she was discovered useless in Los Angeles of what coroners deemed to be a drug overdose,” Russo mentioned. The person behind the digital camera: Chicago crime boss Sam Giancana. In keeping with Russo, key members of the mob had convened at CalNeva in hopes of setting a lure for President John F. Kennedy and his brother Robert, then the US lawyer normal. “They wished to movie the Kennedys in a threesome with Marilyn,” mentioned Russo, including that the mob anticipated utilizing the footage to blackmail JFK into invading Cuba and returning the island’s casinos to organized criminals. The plan was scuttled after JFK didn’t present. As Russo tells it, Monroe had fallen in with the mob whereas courting favor with JFK years earlier than. When she realized of the aborted CalNeva scheme, she threatened to go to the media and mainly wrote her demise sentence. “A man often called The Physician — a killer for rent and an precise MD; he had performed main hits for the mob — injected air into the vein close to Marilyn’s pubic area,” Russo mentioned. “She died of an embolism, but it surely seemed like medication to the coroner.” Nonetheless, he insisted, it wasn’t the mob that killed Monroe however, relatively, the youthful Kennedy, who feared the story of his and JFK’s involvement with Monroe going public. “It needed to be Bobby,” mentioned Russo. “Nobody else would kill her. The mob wouldn’t have performed it. They appreciated her. She was that celebration woman. Give her a pair drugs, a pair drinks and she or he’ll f–ok everybody.” No stranger to presidential partying, Russo additionally remembers his personal excessive occasions with JFK. “Once they opened the Copa Room on the Sands Lodge [a mob-run casino in Vegas], Jack Entratter [who managed the Copacabana in New York] got here out to run it and a home was constructed for him on the lodge’s grounds,” mentioned Russo, including that the president would minimize free there. “Usually, [JFK] wore a 20- or 30-pound metallic brace [and suffered from severe back pain] however mentioned he felt good when he did coke. I felt like telling him, ‘All people feels good, a–gap.’ He liked doing traces off of [dancer] Juliet Prowse’s abdomen.” Russo made dwelling as a utility participant for the mob — monitoring Vegas money skims and laundering hundreds of thousands by way of the Catholic Church’s financial institution in Vatican Metropolis. Gianni Russo and Marilyn MonroeBrian Zak When Russo landed his position in “The Godfather,” it didn’t occur through regular channels. After director Francis Ford Coppola introduced his plan to show Mario Puzo’s novel right into a film, there was pushback from the American-Italian Anti-Defamation League. The group, overseen by Brooklyn mobster Joe Colombo, anxious in regards to the 1972 film making Italians look dangerous. Threats have been made that movie unions in New York Metropolis, the place the film movie was to be shot, wouldn’t cooperate with the manufacturing. Seeking to leverage the discord, Russo confirmed up at Paramount’s New York headquarters and strongarmed his approach into brokering a deal between Colombo and studio brass. After studying the film’s script, Colombo agreed to sanction “The Godfather” in change for Paramount permitting the Anti-Defamation League to placed on a for-profit gala in each metropolis the place the movie premiered. In return, Russo claims, he was given the position of Carlo Rizzi, abusive husband to Connie Corleone. He didn’t arrive quietly. “I wore Brioni fits to the read-throughs whereas all the opposite actors dressed like slobs,” mentioned Russo. “I employed a Chinese language showgirl to drive me there in a Bentley. All people else took station wagons.” Unimpressed, star Marlon Brando voiced issues that the neophyte actor would screw up his film. “I’d simply had a celebration … celebrating getting [the role],” mentioned Russo. “This man was going to destroy it for me? It could not occur.” In keeping with Russo, he acquired in Brando’s face and menacingly advised the older actor, “Who the f–ok are you to strive to do that to me? I’ll minimize your f–king coronary heart out, you rat motherf–ker. I’m a part of this image whether or not you prefer it or not, you c–ksucker.” The 2 turned mates — a relationship cemented by Russo establishing Brando with the showgirl chauffeur, who took up residence within the latter’s lodge room. The icon supplied the newbie with performing classes that contributed to Russo snagging small roles in 46 films (together with “Each Given Sunday” and “Sea Biscuit”). They have been tight sufficient that Russo was the primary individual Brando known as in 1990 when tragedy unfolded on the display screen legend’s Hollywood Hills mansion. “Christian [Brando’s then-32-year-old son] had simply fatally shot his sister Cheyenne’s boyfriend,” recalled Russo. “I mentioned, ‘Don’t name the police.’ Then I phoned [lawyer] Robert Shapiro and so they acquired Cheyenne out of the home.” Christian served 5 years for the homicide and Brando stored himself from being implicated. “The capturing was performed with Brando’s gun,” Russo mentioned. “Christian had advised him that Cheyenne was getting crushed up and Brando mentioned, ‘You’re her brother. Kill the son of a bitch.’ He in all probability didn’t anticipate Christian to do it.” Sixty-three years after his probability encounter with crime king Costello, Russo ranks among the many few golden-age mobsters who aren’t useless or in jail. However he knows that no matter he does, he’ll all the time be recognized for his portrayal of a gangster onscreen. Certainly, when the waiter at Patsy’s serves dessert on the home, Russo can’t assist however quip, “‘Depart the gun, take the cannoli.’ I can’t get away from that film.” Share this: https://nypost.com/2019/03/02/godfather-actor-claims-he-knows-who-killed-marilyn-monroe/ The post ‘Godfather’ actor claims he knows who killed Marilyn Monroe appeared first on My style by Kartia. https://www.kartiavelino.com/2019/03/godfather-actor-claims-he-knows-who-killed-marilyn-monroe.html

THE TEXT VERSIO XDXDX

This is a conversation between Miseru and yourself, YOASSISAMINE.

YOASSISAMINE: WANNA HEAR THE BEST THING EVER

Miseru: Yes

YOASSISAMINE: Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold. Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say... it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help. The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiin sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in. He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue. Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate. Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiin happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie. Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope. He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body. Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in. "Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.

YOASSISAMINE: A MASTERPIECE

Miseru: ONe sec I’m reading it

YOASSISAMINE: OK

YOASSISAMINE: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING VERY HOT

Miseru: Ok send away

YOASSISAMINE: One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

YOASSISAMINE: HOLY FUCK THIS NEXT ONE 2 SEXY FOR TH WORLD

YOASSISAMINE: Lil Pump is a child prodigy. At a mere three years of age, he was able to fully master the English language. When he turned five, he enrolled at Hamburger State University. There, he earned his bachelors degree in Lyrical Composition with a concentration in mumble rap. By six, he had mastered calculus and started writing PhD level academic papers. While he struggled a bit with integral calculus, he figured it out through dedication and hardwork over almost twenty-three minutes. In one of his papers, he addresses a mathematical application of music that transcends human logic, acting as the spark for his music career. But before he could start on his journey to musical stardom, he resolved to finish his PhD. By eight, his intellectual capacity had exceeded that of an average twenty-eight and a half year old. Realising his prodigious growth, Lil Pump thought he should spend some time in self reflection to get a better grasp on what he could expect of himself in future. So, he went to the Himalayas for 7 years to find himself. There, he interacted with thirty-five yetis and managed to convince the Hindu god, Shiva to add him on Snapchat. After returning, Lil Pump kept his accomplishments secret, so people won't make a big deal out of them. He's always been the modest type. Finally, he started his music career. Having attained the status of a superhuman entity, nothing he has recently said seems to be comprehensible. Coming to your question, no, he did not drop out of Harvard. But that's irrelevant. Continuing with his story: His recent hit, “Gucci Gang”, is a work of art that scholars at top institutions around the world have failed to decipher. Lines from that lyrical masterpiece such as: “Gucci Gang Gucci gang Gucci gang Gucci gang Gucci gang Gucci gang Gucci gang” and “mah bih luh do cocaine” have felt academicians puzzled as to their true meaning, with seventeen Harvard professor having committed suicide after realising their relative inferiority as compared to the god-man himself.

Miseru: Hm that one was interesting

Miseru: So it’s that what happened

YOASSISAMINE: yeah

YOASSISAMINE: gucci gang is the best song in the world

Miseru: Hm I never would have thought

YOASSISAMINE: ok nexzt one its exrtra spicy

Miseru: Ok send away

YOASSISAMINE: I'm just like everyone else. I'm a normal guy. I go to school, work a part-time job, and in my free time, I play videogames or go out with my friends. However, some may call me a "Mama's boy." I disagree. I think it is perfectly fine to have a healthy and friendly relationship with one's one birthgiver. Often, I will spend my days watching Netflix shows with my mother, baking cupcakes with her, and shopping for various items with her. I love my mother dearly, and I share many aspects of my life with her. However, there is one thing that she must never know; something that I personally believe to be fine, but I know mother dearest would be upset over, so I never inform her of it. More times than I could count, I have snuck into my mother's bathroom, and stolen her dried, bloody, used feminine products. I find them irresistible. I am a great white, in that I can smell her blood from miles away, and immediately seek it out. On nights where I don't sleep with my sweet mommy, I go into my own room and lock the door before indulging in her excrement. I always have a cup of water handy, to help wash down the fibers. I eat them whole, string and all, consuming the mucus and tissue absorbed from my mother's delectable uterus. If I can find the plastic casing then it's always a bonus for me, as I eat those too. Don't tell my mom about this, she'll take away my Xbox One and then I won't be able to play Fortnite anymore, and then I would be really sad.

Miseru: Hm

Miseru: where do you find these

YOASSISAMINE: the internet man

YOASSISAMINE: i think reddit is huge poopyfuckcock

Miseru: the internet is an interesting place

YOASSISAMINE: but r/copypasta is great

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/878204

Miseru: hm

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/57k36k/woodys_got_wood/

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/7v5iu6/lil_pump/

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/8fc40f/oc_eating_my_mothers_used_tampons/

Miseru: thets a lot of redit

Miseru: i cant spell

YOASSISAMINE: lots of other places were you can find these beauties

Miseru: Hm

Miseru: got anymore?

YOASSISAMINE: also here's a reall y good one

Miseru: Hm better then the others

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.funnyjunk.com/channel/cringe-channel/One+of+the+biggest+cases+of+autism/BLYMLOY#f190d1_5236800

Miseru: Hm

YOASSISAMINE: there's also a mario one but i haven't read it

Miseru: Ok

YOASSISAMINE: i think this is hte original

YOASSISAMINE: the funniest thing is that the rest of the post sweren't about their own autistic video games things

YOASSISAMINE: they were just making fun of OP

Miseru: Oh

Miseru: im gunna leave you

Miseru: for another

YOASSISAMINE: rip

Miseru: so this is goodbye

YOASSISAMINE: bye my deasr frond

YOASSISAMINE: BOOK MARK THEM

Miseru: Ok one sec then