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magicalqueennightmare · 11 months

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Sins & Amends Chapter 44

Billy Russo x Female Reader (60 part story)

This follows pre- the punisher into the storyline of daredevil, punisher season 1 and beyond

This is NOT Canon Billy. This is decent human being Billy left with bad options over worse decisions

This was also posted to A03 under: WaywardGaPeach. That account and this one is the only place you'll see me post this. If you see it on any other platform/account know it's not me.

Chapter Summary/ Warnings: A new life comes into your crazy little family

You decided to take a couple days off after finding out and just told Chief Michelson you were sick. In truth you just needed time to adjust.

After Frank's harsh initial reaction he'd switched into more of a protector/ planner mode. You didn't even know the sex of the baby yet and the man was making lists for what furniture you'd need and telling you it was about time you got a car.

You sat next to Karen, both of you wearing a smile as the two of you watched Frank and Curtis measure out your spare bedroom to decide where a crib could go.

"Frank! I mean I'm pretty sure it's got somewhere to sleep for a while" Karen teased running a hand over your stomach. He raised an eyebrow at her "Very funny. I'm not saying we need to buy it now but Y/N you remember how insane it was bringing Lisa how from the hospital"

You nodded and felt a flicker of hope at the simple fact that he was actually talking about one of the kids unprompted. "I remember Frank but Karen does have a point. We'll get everything ready in time hell I still have people that don't know"

He glanced up from his fourth cup of coffee and grinned "If you mean David and Sarah, I already called them" "Frank!" Karen scolded but you couldn't find it in yourself to be mad. Frank was smiling, that's what was important.

"Oh shit!" You said suddenly and everyone turned to look at you. "I gotta tell Alice!"

"Are you still going to be working on the rig?" Frank asked as you stood to hunt your cellphone. You shrugged "Protocol says I have a choice to either go on dispatch duty till the baby's born or stay on rig. Guess it all depends what the obgyn says after my first appointment"

You hit Alice's number and walked into your kitchen, trying to block out the conversation in your living room but catching enough to know Frank and Curtis was planning to meet with Matt and Dinah to officially accept the offer she'd laid out.

The phone rang twice before Alice answered "About time! Chief called to say Jessie will be partnered with me tor the next couple days, meanwhile I'm freaking out thinking something is wrong with you" you chuckled nervously "Well um the doctor did find something out"

"What?" She nearly screamed and you could hear Kenzie in the background so you said "Put me on speaker so I can tell you both" "Ok" you heard her click it over so you took a breath then said "Turns out I'm pregnant"

"Oh my god!" Was all Kenzie said. Alice on the other hand cracked up laughing "Well it'll be a good looking kid. Helluva attitude but good looking" "Geez thanks Alice" you replied but was relieved that now everyone close to you knew. Her voice got serious then she said "We're here for you no matter what"

Chief let you stay on rig until you were a week shy of the halfway point. He then informed you Alice would keep Jessie as a temp partner until you could come back and that you'd be working dispatch.

Frank took the deal from Homeland, Curtis and David took the job offer so that meant Frank was officially back from the dead. He said it was because he wanted to make sure he could be there for Karen, you and the baby no matter what.

The most comical thing that you found about being pregnant was the stares you'd get from the bodega owner when you'd come waddling in behind none other than the punisher in the middle of the night because a craving hit so Frank had come over to take you to the store. You'd teased more than once "I think I'm hurting your reputation Frank" he'd shrugged and patted your stomach "That's my niece or nephew so it's worth it"

The day you went for the gender reveal ultrasound Karen went with you. You laid back on the bed and reached for her hand. She squeezed yours gently as the tech started moving the wand around "Well mama, we got fingers, toes and oh look at that" you and Karen glanced at the screen so she circled one area "You got a little girl on the way"

Karen practically squealed "Frank was hoping it was a girl too" she admitted after a moment. You simply laughed and shook your head.

A few weeks later Karen, Sarah,and Leo took you out for the day while Frank, Curtis , David and Zach went about turning your spare bedroom into a nursery "one that can move up with her in size" Frank had added at your look.

You counted yourself as unbelievably lucky. Yeah Billy wasn't able to be with you and would probably never even meet his daughter but you and her both had an entire village behind you. Your daughter's family consisted from vigilantes to reporters to ex NSA analyst and damn near everything in between.

The closer you got to your due date the less amount of time you got to spend alone. Someone was always with you. You couldn't blame them even Frank backed down when Karen gave marching orders.

You had gotten Alice and Kenzie to come over to help you frame photos for the family wall you'd added to the baby's room. "This is a good photo of you and Maria" Alice smiled looking at the photo. Maria was practically hanging off your neck and was mid laugh. It was one of the times Frank and Billy had come back unexpectedly early and she had been deliriously happy that Frank wouldn't miss Christmas that year.

"Yeah it is. God I miss her" you answered with a small smile then reached for another stack of pictures "I want to make sure the baby has everyone I consider her family represented. That's why I asked for a shot of you two. Me and Alice have been partners for so many years. Seems only fair"

It took the three of you a couple hours to frame all the photos you wanted up and to arrange them around the room so they didn't look too cluttered.

You stepped back to look at the finished product and smiled. You, Billy, Frank, Karen, Curtis and Maria and the kids were represented the most then there was some of the Liebermans, Matt and Foggy then Alice and Kenzie. "I can say one thing. This kid has one hell of a family waiting to meet her" Alice teased throwing an arm over your shoulders.

A knock from the door drew all of your attention so you checked the time "That would be Frank and Karen" Kenzie glanced at your belly for permission so when you nodded she laid on hand on it then leaned down to talk to the baby "Bye little bit. Maybe your mommy will pick a name before you're born so you won't just be listed as babygirl Y/L/N-Russo"

"It's just gonna be babygirl Russo. I have a lot more issues with my last name than his" you admitted so she shrugged then changed it to "Well then little bit hopefully mommy picks a name so you're not just babygirl Russo"

You swatted playfully at her "Alice get your wife" Alice kissed your cheek then grabbed Kenzie's hand "C'mon baby. We don't provoke the pregnant lady"

The day you hit thirty nine weeks you had decided to go to the bulletin to have lunch with Karen. You were walking up the steps and heard Ellison "Need a hand?" You looked up to see he was offering his arm so you gladly took it. "Thank you!" He nodded and walked with you inside.

You hadn't even made it to Karen's office when a pain hit severe enough to double you up. "Y/N?" When you didn't reply he looked at the nearest person "GET PAGE NOW!"

Karen came running around the corner about the time another pain hit you and you felt liquid run down your leg. You looked down to see you were now standing in a puddle of water "Oh fuck Karen this is it" you managed to get out but she was already pulling a chair under you and calling an ambulance with Ellison's phone while she called Frank with hers.

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Alice and Jessie happened to be on the ambulance that responded. She sat in the back monitoring your contractions on the way "See? Little bit wanted auntie Alice even if I was at work!" She teased making a pained laugh escape you "She could've asked to call you!"

By the time you got to the hospital the waiting room looked like a frickin circus. Matt, Foggy and Marci were there fresh from court from the looks of it. Frank and Curtis were there with Dinah and Sam in tow who had apparently drove them. Curtis was on the phone with David trying to convince him he didn't have to come yet.

When they spotted you and Karen all eyes turned towards you as your obgyn Dr Lynnette Erickson came out the double doors and took in just how many were there with you. "Miss Y/L/N only two can accompany you into delivery" you grabbed Karen's hand then glanced at Frank "What you say Frankie?" He nodded and quickly got to the other side of the bed as they pushed you away.

Dinah and Sam were telling Curtis they'd call to check in and Alice hollered she'd come after shift. That was the last you heard out the waiting room.

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Frank stepped into the hall while Karen helped you change into a gown then he came back in and stood at the head of the bed watching the doctor and nurses mill around with his patent Punisher glare in full swing. "Easy Frank. They're here to help me" you reminded him with a pained smile and he nodded "Yeah they better"

An hour later Frank was sitting in the bed behind you supporting your body against his own while Karen helped you through the breathing. "One more push and she'll be out mama" Dr Erickson said and Frank leaned up to whisper in your ear "Come on sweetheart. You got this. You're more badass than any marine I've ever met. One more push. You can do it"

Frank helped you sit up further and Karen moved down to help hold your legs as you gave one final hard push and was rewarded with a shrill cry filling the room. After a moment one of the nurses handed you a tiny pink bundle. "Congratulations. What's her name?"

You glanced between Karen and Frank who were standing at your side in awe of their niece "I was thinking Addison Elizabeth Russo" Frank's eyes teared up a bit when he heard the middle name but he nodded "Maria would've loved that" the nurse smiled and said "I'll write it in her chart. Do you want me to tell everyone waiting?"

Frank shook his head "Give us three a few minutes then I'll go collect the nutjobs one at a time" the nurse laughed and said "Well congrats. I can tell already Addison is a very loved little girl" "That she is" Karen agreed with tears in her eyes.

Addison or Adi as you planned to call her was beautiful. She had your nose but Billy's dark eyes and mouth. God she was going to look just like him. You'd never felt more whole than staring at her.

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Once you were moved into a regular room Frank headed out to deliver news and to bring a couple people back at a time to meet the newest member of your little family.

"I wish Billy could've been here" you confessed and Karen kissed your forehead "I know you do. I promise you won't be alone in any of this" you smiled at her as Adi cooed slightly in your arms.

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Despite the fact that you were exhausted and wanted to sleep it was a comical experience seeing everyone meet her.

Curtis was a pro at holding babies. She curled right up to him and nearly fell asleep "She knows who's gonna be her favorite uncle" he'd teased with a wink towards you when Frank shot him a look.

Foggy was nervous and let Karen direct him how to hold her but looked so cute smiling down at her. You realized Matt was standing back so you said "Get up in here Matt. Come meet her" he sat on the edge of the bed so you laid her in his arms. He gently ran his fingertip across her face "She's beautiful Y/N"

The Liebermans were a family unit and it showed. Sarah held Adi while David, Leo and Zach met her. "She's so little!" Leo whispered and you grinned "By the time she's up a size you'll be needing a baby sitting job right Leo?"

Alice and Kenzie barely made it under the wire before visiting hours ended. Alice just sat there smiling at her "You did amazing Y/N! She is gorgeous!"

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Once everyone else had left you thought you'd be alone overnight but Frank pulled out the cot in the corner of the room. "What are you doing?" You asked and he glanced over his shoulder at Karen and smirked "I'm staying kid. You were there for Maria when she had newborns. I'm gonna be here for you. Me and Karen already set up a schedule so you always have help. Sarah has offered to watch her when you go back to work and for any overnight shifts we bought a portable crib for our place"

You felt yourself tearing up again and didn't know if it was hormones or what. "Thank you both" he shrugged "We stick together sweetheart. Kind of what we do"

You took a deep breath then said "That does lead into my next question" they exchanged a look then Karen said "What is it?" You looked at Adi sleeping peacefully then at Frank then at Karen. "Will you two be her godparents?"

"Really?" Karen asked with a broad smile. When you nodded she pulled you into a hug then Frank hugged you both "This a yes?" You asked after a moment and Frank groaned "Christ, yes Y/N we'd love to be her godparents"

@intothesoul

@weallhaveadestiny

#au billy russo #billy russo x y/n #billy russo au #billy russo x you #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #sins and amends masterlist

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bratz-kitten · 3 years

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i saw ur zhongli being a cap post and i genuinely need ur take on every genshin character astrology wise

the characters have official birthdays so zhongli is canonically a capricorn which makes me 1000% believe that there’s an astrologer in mihoyo’s team because. when i tell you they got EVERY character right. okay not every because they say lisa is a gemini and i know damn well she’s a libra (with gemini moon and ascendant. moon conjunct her ascendant. libra mercury. scorpio venus. virgo mars. I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS OKAY). here are some of my favorite characters that they got right:

diluc being a taurus: thinks he’s an edgy anti-hero with an attitude problem, is just an earth sign. he’s so filthy rich and elegant and the secret savior of mondstat, i looked at him and thought “he’s a taurus.” searched it up and, of course i was right. i could write a whole essay on the parallels between him and batman

childe being a cancer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME IT’S LITERALLY PERFECT. only a cancer sun could reach his level of deranged unhinged insane. his anger issues. his crackhead nature, laughing at everything like a 5 year old. how he’s so overprotective of his siblings and everything he does is to protect them. way too loyal to the wrong ppl

kaeya being a sagittarius: are we surprised? are we really surprised? he’s the biggest fuckboy in all of teyvat, OF COURSE he’d be a sagittarius .

paimon being a gemini: THIS ONE MADE TOOO MUCH SENSE PAIMON IS SUCH A FUCKING GEMINI I CANT. so much shit comes out of her mind she’s truly the master of attempting to get out of bad situations by talking her way through it but accidentally only making it worse, those are my favorite geminis. the ones who are so shameless that they say whatever comes out of their mouth with no filter and it ends up being hilarious. also she’s secretly so calculating everything she does is a ploy to get food and money, plus the theories behind who she really is... paimon mastermind

venti being a gemini: he can and WILL bullshit his way through life. lies just to feel something. openly very lighthearted and fun, secretly brooding and melancholic-- that’s geminis for you

hu tao being a cancer: everyone who hates her is a fucking COWARD. ive said it once and i’ll say it again, cancer suns have the darkest humor. she’s incredibly serious and responsible when it comes to her family business, and just like childe, she can go from crackhead who laughs at everything to the most serious person in the room in 0.0005 seconds. incredibly wise and sentimental. i want her in my team so bad i can’t believe my two favorite characters in this godforsaken game are cancers

bennett being a pisces: ok, you know what... im NOT happy about this one because i think they lost a perfect opportunity for irony. imagine bennett, known for his awful luck that brings incidents wherever he goes, being a sagittarius sun-- the sign ruled by jupiter, the “lucky” planet. THAT WOULD’VE BEEN AMAZING also because of his whole “im beginning to think im lucky because somehow my terrible luck has brought me to your team” bennett i will protect you till the day i face eternal slumber

diona being a capricorn: she took it as her purpose to make the worst drinks on mondstat so everyone would stop drinking alcohol.... and instead accidentally became the most talented mixologist in the entire city. and is now the owner of a tavern that everyone loves. the point is that it’s capricorn culture to be talented and perfect at everything we do even when we’re not trying, plus all capricorns act slightly like cats IT’S PERFECT and the way she’s always so pissed off at everything. i LOVE HER

xiao being an aries: no words truly

kazuha being a scorpio: he’s proof that scorpios are lovely and calm and poetic and romantic and truthfully just want to lie on a rock while bathing in the sunlight. scorpio lovers RISE

--- MY PREDICTIONS FOR THE UPCOMING CHARACTERS’ SUN SIGNS:

la signora: LEO SUN SHE’S A LEO SUN BARK BARK WOOF WOOF if they make her anything but a leo im handing my application letter to mihoyo to apply for their astrologer position

baal: im praying for her to be a scorpio. no one does evil psychotic feared god like she does (plus i 100% believe in the theory that she’s secretly doing this for good reasons because, as the old saying goes, celestia sus. like... celestia and the gods are EVIL evil who make the seven archons their puppets and the vision hunt decree is her way of cutting the connection between humans and celestia. which doesn’t excuse the amount of people she off’ed in the name of the cause... but you know what she’s sexy she can have a little murder, as a treat). baal come home im begging you, september truly can’t come fast enough

scaramouche: he’s probably going to be a capricorn because his personality is so similar to levi’s but im hoping for him not to be because im TIRED of capricorns having the same personality in every piece of media. not all of us are cold evil brooding with control issues, some of us are simply idiots with one braincell max. im hoping for him to be an aquarius, that sounds shocking when you first think about it but when you think more deeply, it makes so much sense

thoma: libra. 100% no doubt his biggest talent is the way he persuades and controls people through his words, no one does diplomacy and social niceties like libras

#answered

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the-cult-of-russo · 3 years

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Push and Pull (part 7)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x OC

Warnings: cursing.

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Later that day, Daphne was trying to distract herself from her jumbled thoughts. Between Matt and whatever the Italians were planning, she just wanted to chill. She had Breaking Bad on her laptop as she leisurely lay on the couch in sweatpants and a t-shirt. It would be dinner time soon and she was considering ordering take out so she didn't have to cook. She was pretty sure she didn't have much in anyway. Halfway through an episode, there was a knock at her door. She groaned as she stood, stretching her arms over her head until her back made a satisfying pop. Glancing out the peephole, she saw Foggy standing there. She groaned again before swinging the door open.

"Daphne!" He grinned like he was surprised to see her in her own home despite him clearly coming here to see her. Her eyes drifted to his right hand which was holding a plastic bag.

"Can I help you, Foggy?" She asked patiently.

"I was just… you know… in the neighbourhood and figured I'd swing by… with burgers," he flashed her a toothy smile and she folded her arms over her chest.

"Did Matt send you?" She asked suspiciously. She really hoped not, she wanted him to believe she was a grade A bitch and leave her alone.

"No, I just wanted to talk. But maybe when I did mention the possibility of me dropping in, Matt maybe seemed semi interested which may have made me more determined," he said vaguely.

Foggy was almost as tiring as Matt but in a different way. She waved her hand to signal he could come in as she padded back over to the couch. He came in seeming more relaxed than the last time he was here and plonked himself down with ease into the armchair.

"Look, I just wanna say that I'm sorry about Matt’s attitude," he started. She held a hand up right away to stop him.

"Stop. Don't apologise on his behalf when you've not done anything wrong. That's shit and means nothing. It's not your job to be apologising for him… besides, I haven't exactly been great either," she admitted reluctantly. He gave a tentative smile and nodded as he took out a burger from the bag. She took it with a grateful smile and started munching on it since she was so hungry.

"I get it. I mean kind of. Matt's weird with you, obviously I'm his best friend so he's much nicer to me. He can still be an asshole at times though. But seeing you guys at the office was really something. Your personalities are a lot alike, I think," he mused as he bit into his own burger. Her jaw dropped, offence coloured her features.

"I'm nothing like him!" She argued with a scoff. He chuckled and gave her a lopsided grin.

"Mhm… sure. Either way, as much of an ass he can be, he's trying okay? Maybe… maybe you could also try a little harder to be nice," he suggested gently. She wanted to throw her burger at him but he wasn't completely wrong. She hadn't been making it easy but it was simply because she didn't like how she felt when she was around him.

"Can't make any promises," she retorted vaguely as she took another bite. Foggy just nodded, seeming to realise that was the best he would get from her.

"I do wanna say thanks though. For helping him when he really needed it. It means a lot to me that he has someone other than me who he can count on," he murmured softly. She glanced at him at the sincerity in his tone as she finished off her burger.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" She asked curiously.

"Only if I can ask one after," he bargained with a cheeky grin. She fully expected it though and nodded. It was only Foggy after all. She doubted it would be anything too crazy.

"Great, then shoot," he said confidently.

"Do you ever just get sick of it? Being friends with the Devil of Hell's Kitchen? I mean if he goes down, you go down too. And not to mention the constant worry of him getting hurt or winding up dead," she said carefully. She remembered the tension between the friends at the office earlier. She wondered if they'd argued about Matt getting shot.

Foggy looked conflicted for a second as he shifted in his seat. After a moment, he levelled a steady gaze at her.

"Matts like a brother to me. Sometimes I wish it was different. I didn't even find out about his secret until not too long ago. Sometimes I wished it was easy like it was back then. But it's not. And as hard headed as he is and as much as I worry, he's a good man. He wants to help people and make a real difference. So if I have to stress out about him getting hurt then it's the least I can do. He saves lives out there, more than the cops do. He genuinely makes a difference and I believe in what he does," he didn't falter in his speech and she found a pang of envy at how much Foggy seemed to care for Matt. There was such a strong loyalty there.

She just nodded, accepting his words. There wasn't really a follow up to it; she was just curious about it. She guessed they could argue about Matt's safety until the world stopped rotating, but in the end Matt would always be Daredevil and Foggy would always back him up.

"What about you? Do you have any family or friends?" It was a simple question that he'd chosen but it made her uneasy nonetheless. She blew out a sigh and leaned back more on the couch.

"I've got family. My parents and an older sister and brother. My parents live in Hawaii now and my brother is a fancy brain surgeon. My sister Lisa lives in the suburbs. Two kids and a husband, living the housewife life," she snorted softly.

"Are you close to them?" He prompted curiously. She shook her head softly.

"Not super close I guess. I'd always been the odd one out growing up. Liked to use my fists, got in trouble a lot. Not really what my parents wanted from me and I didn't exactly live up to the reputation of my brother and sister. I'm closest to Lisa out of all of them but… we live very different lives. I don't get to see her or the kids too much," she admitted softly. Honestly it made her sad to think about. She'd never been super close with her parents or brother but Lisa always tried. Tried to be there and to understand her no matter how vastly different they were. She hadn't seen her niece and nephew in almost 6 months which felt like a lifetime.

"What about friends?" Foggy asked cautiously. The pair were well aware this was more than the one personal question they'd agreed on but she allowed it anyway since it was connected.

"Does Brett count?" She snorted sheepishly. Foggy barked a laugh at her answer and shook his head.

"Oh no. That's so sad," he laughed. She found herself chuckling with him despite the fact he was right.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit abrasive. Not the best way to make friends," she smirked. He just shook his head ruefully.

"Well we need to work on your people skills. But for what it's worth, you've got a friend in Foggy Nelson," he grinned at her. She smiled and lowered her head.

"I don't know, Foggy. You're way too cheerful to be tainted by my darkness," she teased. He tossed his burger wrapper at her but she caught it.

"Now see, that just means we balance each other out well. I mean, you have seen who I'm best friends with, right?" He smirked. He wasn't exactly wrong.

"Can't argue with that," she snorted.

She found she didn't mind Foggy's company as much as she thought she would. He wasn't confusing and he was easy to be around. And she didn't have the urge to be a complete bitch to him like she did with most people.

"Alright, I need to head back to the firm. We’re working late tonight on a case," he said as he stood. She followed suit and walked him to the door.

"Thanks for stopping by and for the food," she murmured gratefully. She meant it too. He gave her a bright grin and nodded.

"Anytime. Thanks for letting me in and saving my best friend," he chortled. Rolling her eyes good naturedly, she pointed to the hallway. He laughed as he stepped outside.

"Hope to see you soon, Daphne," he smiled before disappearing down the hallway.

She blew out a breath before walking back to her trusty couch and flopping onto it. Foggy seemed like a good friend and he wanted to be friends with her. She found herself naturally trusting him and it didn't even bother her. The only issue was who he was best friends with. How could she be friends with Foggy and avoid Matt? It wasn't practical. But she enjoyed having someone to talk to like Foggy and the feeling of companionship he brought her. Now her brain hurt again. She decided on cleaning up the rubbish from the food and tidying up a little to clear her mind.

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Foggy felt good as he strolled into the office. He felt like his trip had gone well. He really didn't know why Matt and Daphne seemed to butt heads so much, she was always pleasant to him. Then again, he was Foggy Nelson. He had the bag with the one remaining burger and as he walked inside the office, he tossed it on the desk in front of Matt.

"It's cold," Matt muttered with a frown as he got it out. Foggy didn't even feel bad, snorting as he sat in the seat on the opposite side of the desk.

"Yeah. I went to see Daphne and we ended up talking for a bit," he said casually, keeping his eyes on his best friend. He saw Matts eyebrows raise slightly before he forced himself to look neutral. Matt cared. He cared about everyone in this city, it's why he did what he did. He even cared about the welfare of the girl who pissed him off and confused him.

"Really? And uh… was she… alright?" Foggy almost snorted at how not nonchalant his friend was being.

"She was fine. It was nice really. We ended up talking about her family and stuff," he replied, still watching Matts reactions. Matt actually looked stunned by that revelation as he started to eat his cold burger.

"I would have thought that was too personal to ask about," he said flippantly.

"Yeah well, it's amazing what she's willing to talk about when you're not an asshole," Foggy teased, causing Matt to roll his eyes. He knew Matt was dying to know what he found out but that he was stubborn enough not to ask. He decided to just tell him anyway. It wasn't anything overly personal so he didn't feel like he was doing anything wrong by sharing what she'd told him.

"Her parents moved to Hawaii. From what she said it sounds like they don't really talk. Her brother's a neurosurgeon and I don't think she talks to him much either. Then her older sister, Lisa I think, lives in the burbs with two kids and a husband. She said she gets on with her sister the most but how they live different lives. But I don't know, man. She seemed… lonely. It was sad. I mean, when I asked if she had friends her only response was Brett," he explained sounding mortified.

"Jesus," Matt muttered, eyebrows raised as he set the wrapper down after finishing his burger.

"Exactly. But I let her know that I'm willing to be a friend if she needs one. And maybe if you were a little nicer then you could be too. Being isolated isn't a good feeling, Matt. She needs friends. She might not go out and kick ass like you, but she's still into some heavy shit. She needs support," Foggy lectured.

Matt huffed a little and rubbed his temples as he looked over the desk at him.

"Why are you so set on this? We butt heads and I don't think it's going to change. Even when I'm nice to her, she flips like a switch. She's confusing and infuriating and there's no point in me trying," he insisted firmly.

"Fine, I'll leave it for now. But just try to keep it in mind. She might be the PI but I like to think I'm good at reading people. I don't think she's used to people really caring about her and maybe that makes her defensive and lash out? I'm not a psychologist, I don't really know. But maybe next time she goes all bitch mode, you just try to be patient with her," Foggy suggested carefully. Matt pursed his lips and just nodded stiffly. Foggy wasn't sure he was even listening at this point but at least he tried. He honestly thought the pair of them could do good things together if they got their heads out of their asses and worked as a team.

#matt murdock x oc #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock #daredevil x oc #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil

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deans-baby-momma · 4 years

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Mommy’s (Not So) Good Girl

A/N: Here it is guys! My new story, Mommy’s (Not So) Good Girl. It will be posted on Wednesday mornings and Friday afternoons. Hope you enjoy!

Summary: What if when Lisa and Dean had hooked up all those years ago, she'd had Abby, a pre-teen daughter?Now here it is almost a decade later, Dean is back to try out "the apple pie life" as he put it.

A month from turning 21, when Abby's mom allows an old hookup to move in with the family she realizes her younger brother Ben resembles Dean a lot and wonders if her mom knows this is Ben's father.

But, what happens when she get drunk on her 21st and has to call for a ride and Dean answers?The backseat of her mom's car now holds secrets that they both hope never surfaces. And can they stay away from each other?

“Abigail! Benjamin! Dinner's ready." my mom yells up the stairs.

I close the book I am reading as I hear my bratty 9 year old brother answer back.

"I'm in the middle of a battle!"

I roll my eyes as I stretch. 'Kids and their stupid games', I think. I am a college student at home for summer break and my little brother is worried about winning an imaginary fight on his game. Yea, he's going to be in for a surprise when he gets out in the real world.

A junior at Purdue University, I am studying Finance and Economics but while on breaks I work as an aide at the local library on the weekends, to help my mom with keeping food in the house.

My mother, a yoga instructor and single parent, is Lisa Danielle Braeden and we have lived in the same quaint house in the same quaint town of Cicero for my whole life.

Mom smiles at me as I enter the kitchen, ready to get some sustenance before going back to read next semester's syllabus. What can I say, I like to be prepared.

It is a typical Tuesday evening in our house. I've washed the laundry I brought home, unpacked my bags and kept an eye on my brother while Mom worked and then came straight home to take care of us.

My mom has always beamed with pride at how well I excelled in high school, graduating with honors and being accepted into the finance classes at BU.

"How's it going baby girl?" she asks, handing me a plate.

Benjamin, Ben for short, finally graces us with his presence and Mom ruffles his hair as he begins scooping out his food.

As we are eating, the doorbell rings.

"I got it," Mom says and leaves the room.

Ben takes the opportunity to throw me a glare and I scoff. "What's your problem brat?"

"You are. Miss goody two-shoes who does no wrong. All you do is study and work. Don't you have any friends?"

"Do you," I sneer. "Other than the ones from your game?"

At that moment Mom walks back into the room with a smile on her face. Behind her is a person who looks familiar. I feel as if I should recognize him, as if I know him. And then I remember.

Years ago, back when it was just me and Mom, this man spent a whole weekend here. I never thought I'd see him again, like all the other men Mom had paraded through in my 20 years.

I was about 14 when I realized all the 'friends' who stayed here for a day or two weren't anything other than Lisa Braeden's flavor of the week.

Seeing this man reminds me of early Saturday morning, eating cereal in the den and watching-and laughing- at cartoons with him. And the ride to the ice cream store in the sleek black muscle car, the wind blowing through my air and the engine rumbling under my butt.

If any of Mom's conquests were to return, Dean Winchester is the last one I expected. He had actually paid attention to me and hadn’t treated me like an inconvenience. He had been nice.

And now here he stands, back in our home.

"I remember you."

“Holy shit,” Dean exclaims as he looks at me. “You cannot be Abby?”

“Sure am,” I smile as I answer.

“Wow, you grew up!” He says as he passes by Mom and comes over to give me a hug. “Guess you probably done outgrew Scooby Doo, also huh?” He laughs as he steps back from the embrace. “If I remember right, you had a major crush on Fred.”

I blush at the thought of a young me gushing to this stranger about how cute I thought a cartoon was. Ah, the innocence of youth.

“Eh, I’m more into Shaggy now.”

Dean laughs and glances across the table at my brother. He does a quick double take and then reaches out his hand. “Hi I’m Dean. I’m a friend of…”

“My mom. Yea I got that,” Ben nonchalantly cuts him off, and goes back to eating. Rude kid!

Mom grabs a plate from the cabinet and sits it down at the end of the table where she usually sits and walks to the fridge. Opening the door, she says, “I only have the light stuff. Is that okay?”

“Yea. Yea,” Dean answers as he takes his place at the head of the table. Mom sits the beer at his side and kisses his cheek. “Dig in.”

As we eat, we catch up with one another. Dean asks Mom if she is still into yoga teaching and asks me all about school. He exclaims that he cannot believe that I am in college already and then brings up some embarrassing thing I’d said and did from that weekend oh so long ago.

Dean tries bringing my brother into the conversation but Ben keeps quiet, scowling across at us, never saying a word. He eyes this man up and down, this stranger to him, but who is an apparent friend of mine and Mom’s.

“Can I be excused?” he asks when he is done and Mom nods, not really paying attention. Instead she is hanging off every word out of Dean’s mouth.

Ben gets up and I have to remind him to take his dishes to the sink, which he mumbles hatefully about. He gives one more look at the three of us and then sulks out of the room. What is his problem, I wonder. If he’d just stay here and get to know Dean, I’m sure he would like him.

They both seem to like taking things apart and finding out how they function. Dean had fixed the toaster oven and the furnace for Mom when he was here. And if I remember correctly Dean liked classic rock, which is the exact kind of music I hear pouring out of my brother’s room sometimes. Also, I can tell Dean still has that same cocky know-it-all attitude…..kinda like Ben.

Realization hits and I start doing the math. I was ten, almost eleven, when Dean spent that weekend here and now I am going to be turning 21 in less than a month. That means that weekend was almost ten years ago. Ben would be turning 9 on his next birthday.

I look at my Mom with shock. Could it be? They are an awful lot alike, Dean and Ben. Did she know? Had Mom kept this a secret? How had I never thought to ask her who Ben’s father was? How had I not put two and two together before now?

Was Dean Ben’s dad?!

That night, Mom invites Dean into her bed like it was natural. To me, it was something she used to do all the time. Whoever was at the house got to sleep in her bed, with her. At the time, in my prepubescent mind, I thought that was all they were doing. How naive I had been!

Since Ben came along, though, she hasn’t had many sleepovers with strange men. Actually in the last 10 years there have only been a couple and that was when my brother was still an infant. Was it because Dean had knocked her up and she was hoping and wishing he would return so she could tell him? Would she tell him now? Would Dean become my step-dad?

I have so many questions that need answers and I don’t even know how to begin to get them.

If you would like to be tagged for this series, please send me a message or an ask. I will gladly add you.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @spnbaby-67 @tftumblin @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @death-unbecomes-you @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @deanwanddamons @hoboal87

#new story #Mommy's (Not So) Good Girl #dean winchester #lisa braeden #abby braeden #ben braeden #dean x lisa #dean x abby #canon divergence #deans-baby-momma #supernatural #spn fic #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction

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alottamoney · 3 years

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Lisa anon again.Thank you for for insightful answer.But - first things first- am I not a seer or what?You saw what happened with the BP debut on weVerse.WV "mistakenly" made a technical error that basically was free promotion of BP's debut .After they apologised saying "oops!" and corrected their "mistake".In short ARMY suddenly had BP in their following tag after they made their debut.They had to go to the BP page to leave manually.This is shaping out to be a very interesting turn of events considering BTS didn't/doesn't need BP for anything,whereas bp benefits all things good from this association.Lisa has been trending non-stop since her "supposed slip up" in JK's vlive.For BTS, Nothing but money can be gained from this association.They are at a stage where they should collaborate with independent Korean artists to not only uphold them,but for self enrichment as well.

To explain about my perceived after-effect of jikook,I have to talk about a key decision that V made,which is corroborated by other members as well(Suga,Jimin). Keeping his worklife and personal life separate.He considers BTS his work life.The friends are in Wooga squad,who were like unicorn to the members.If you go back in time this change came about from Fall 2018.You can see where I am going with this.

When you think about jikook,you think about jimin.I think by now it is general consensus that bighit promoted jikook to heavily promote jimin.I don't know if I can write so much here but I am trying to provide you with the short version.I believe Taekook had disagreements about bts vs them very strongly in 2018 which was about which should they focus on more.Coupled with the fact that now they were quite openly a pair in front of the members and key company people,they were under pressure not to neglect their professional commitment.I had a hunch before that Jungkook struggled with this a lot.He confirmed it for me(supplemented by My Time and his 'all of my life' cover) when he suggested a story "The herdsmen and the weaver",which is a sad love story of two people who fell in love,but due to them neglecting their chores,were banished by the king who allowed them to see each other only once a year.The king wanted to teach them a lesson. I think bunny drowned himself with work to numb the pain.While Taehyung who didn't have as much load as bunny,wanted the opposite.Jikook comes in here because jimin's schedule is almost as full as bunny's.Here,I sincerely believe, jimin exercised some behaviour regarding Taekook's relationship,which Tae didn't like,and later the members would react negatively to it too.Jimin is a strict person regarding his work ethic.Tae is an easy going intuitive person. I think Jimin was opposed to the idea of taekook in BTS's workspace due to his aforementioned work ethic.and don't forget that jikook was ongoing too,which obviously Tae would've preferred would happen with less "intensity" shall we say.I have seen angry Tae during jikook moments and I have also seen Jimin noticing that and smirking.He didn't take it seriously but it's safe to assume that Tae was serious.It's interesting that jikook could converse and have flirty talking and Tae would be fine.But the extreme physical ones would rearrange his face. On the professional front, he was not being heard and recognized which was just a mess.

With the other members it too was easy to see.They started getting irritated with jikook for 1. BTS is not only jikook.But for a time it seemed only they were the bts.The others were just there.Jikook and co. It did not suit with other members. 2. They did not like jimin in taekook situation.I remember around that time Taekook were extremely hot and cold.And from that time(late 2018- early 2019) , vmin never seemed the same.There was a time when in interviews /place where Jikook was happening,RM and Jin would look from Tae to jikook I kid you not.It wasn't about romance.But couples are gonna fight and makeup.That's the rule of the universe.If you are picking sides in fights just remember after a while they are gonna be together and you are going to feel like shit.

Relationships that changed that you cannot deny no matter how much you look at it : 1. Suga-Jimin - Suga had a real softcorner for Jimin.Extreme is the right word.But now it is not like before.Instead Suga became extremely protective of V.

2. Jin- Jimin - I don't know what happened but again Jin has bonded with Tae for some time.Jin has had a great relationship with Jimin but now it's not reflected in their demeanor.

3. Vmin- The biggest change.They are cordial with each other.But they are not bffs no matter how much they preach it.Tae has kept Jimin outside his boundary of personal life for quite some time.They are professional so it is not apparent to the newcomers.But ARMY have seen them grow up.

I struggled with one thing.Why would Jimin not think V's anger was serious being his "bff"?I have a feeling he thought of it as silly.Not going to lie I think other members thought of it too.They couldn't put themselves in V's shoes as 1.They lacked perspective of a male who was attracted to another male. 2.They lacked serious relationship experience in general.From 2019 things changed.You can sense that the members really started giving their relationship respect.I wonder how much of it is because they have started their own serious relationships.Jin is 30,RM Hobi Suga all are way older than Vminkook.Before they used to tease Taekook and thought of them as chaotic duo,but how their attitude towards them has changed!

I also think their personal romantic relationships have taught them Tae's emotion was not a silly matter.Some things you cannot help.They also think of JK as a bit immature at times but professionally he is the mature man with excellent work ethic.I think no matter what JK does, he is soft corner of every hyung.

The members now has solo successes.They are secure.But in 2018 they were suddenly getting superstardom and they weren't ready.Insecurity about their abilities made them wary.Jikook getting the forefront most of the time was not appreciated.Jimin's overly caring attitude towards bts's future also I think pissed the members off.At 30 you want to have a relationship.Someone to go back to.You cannot be like work work all the time just slaving away.Jimin would rather taekook focus on their work more.I know each people can choose how they prioritise but taekook didn't want to abide by it. The members too.I know Jimin encouraged JK about his work a lot but there is a difference between JK and Jimin here.JK wants to be independent from BTS.Not that he doesn't want to be in bts.But he wants to sing,dance the way he wants,not because he is told to.JK is trying very very hard to be independent and establish his singer-songwriter profile and he has done a marvellous job with it.In contrast Jimin focuses on BTS as a whole.The problem is BTS is 7.6 more independent mind than Jimin. Idk what is in the future so lets wait and see.

Lisa anon😊

I thought of you when the weverse incident happened. I still stick to my opinion that a Liskook collab will not be well received by the fandoms but if it does happen then I would like to hear less of how shippers are the reason Tae and Jungkook chose not to interact with each other and how BigHit facilitated the awkward co-workers by not showing them in content.

I try not to form any concrete opinions about the BTS dynamics because like I said earlier they don't reveal much and I don't believe what celebrities say in general, they have an image to maintain after all. I do like theorizing even though I call them analysis, I don't consider them true analysis as we don't know or see enough.

I too have noticed Tae being uncomfortable during certain Jikook moments. Another one of the reasons Taekook stand out to me; why care about what your estranged bandmate does and over fanservice, which is scripted, of all things. If I'm not wrong they also rehearse fanservice so it can't be the first time he's seen it unlike the audience unless Jimin is doing impromptu stuff. He could be doing it to tease and genuinely doesn't see the problem, like you said maybe they don't consider it serious because it is different from their own experience with relationships. I don't want to assume anyone had any ulterior motives, I'm sure some of them had reservations about Taekook but not beyond a point-I'm not a fan of the hyungs know/expose Taekook trope. As much drama as Taekook can provide I'm sure they had their own personal problems to deal with.

I think the problem with vminkook and to an extent the rest of BTS is that they started off at the same point of familiarity and Taekook suddenly getting “closer” might also make Jimin and the others feel left out or annoyed. For the same reason, it's possible Jimin doesn't even think he's breeching any boundaries, I don't know if that makes sense. I'm sure and like you also pointed out that most of them seem to have outgrown that.

I admit I haven't paid much attention to Jimin and Yoongi's relationship but everyone I talk to agrees that Yoongi has a soft spot for Jimin and some who have access to Korean side say that Jimin is mostly seen with Jin and Yoongi outside of work and not with Jungkook which is the popular perception. So maybe they were able to move past it.

I agree about vmin. I never really gave importance to the soulmates/bff narratives. I consider these things part of fanservice and their stage personas much like Tae fanboying over Yoongi and Hobi, Jungkook saying Namjoon is his role model, or even Jungkook saying Tae brought him out of his shell. These might not be outright lies just one-liners that make it easier for fans and for themselves. The interesting thing about vmin is that no one needs much to believe that they're bffs (even vmin shippers seem to ship them as bffs lol) No one cares that they aren't spotted together, no one is out to debunk them because their dynamics changed, and no one is upset even when they interact. Very few popular ships are as non-contentious as vmin. If I had to pick a pair that did "drift apart" then I'd pick vmin (they still seem close all said and done). Pinpointing Jikook as the cause seems too easy. Tae and Jimin seem like people who don't have much in common that could be a reason.

In terms of Tae and Jikook: Apart from the company endorsement which may have inturn promoted Jimin. I don't blame Jimin completely for what Jikook brought about. Jungkook was an equal participant in the early years of Jikook. Again "blame" is a strong word as we don't know the exact status of Taekook's relationship around the time Jikook was being promoted. I don't think Jikook do anything over-the-top, just standard kpop fanservice with the difference being that BTS is hugely popular with an international audience who might not be exposed to this type of fanservice. I don't think Jikook are attracted to each other, nothing they have said or done makes me think otherwise. Tae's discomfort seems to be disproportionate to all the possible reasons we have listed so far and he seems fine when Jungkook does fanservice with other members, he himself seems fine indulging in fanservice. Some say Jungkook isn’t too fond of Taejin fanservice (🤷🏻‍♀️). This seems to be one of those things that can be categorized under Taekook Being Weird lol Maybe we'll find out in a few years.

Lastly, I think Jimin says things the fans want to hear (all of them do). So him "relying" on BTS could just be him pandering to fans and not because of lack of ambition or personal fulfillment.

I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts. You can message me or I can answer without posting your ask if you aren’t comfortable sharing controversial opinions.💜

#taekook #vkook #bts kookv #bts jungkook #bts taehyung #bts jimin #ask me questions #vminkook

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rawiswhore · 3 years

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Various WWF Wrestlers x Fem Reader- "Got It? Flaunt It!"

The World Wrestling Federation's Attitude era: a time when most of the matches were violent and bloody, the gimmicks were vastly more adult oriented than in the past, and most of the women's roster were treated and turned into sex objects for male consumption.

Even if a woman was a wrestler who had wrestled for several years before joining the WWF, like Ivory, Jacqueline and Torrie (not Wilson), she was reduced into a sex object and fap material.

Speaking of sexually objectifying women, Jerry Lawler helped provide the commentary during the Attitude era and he's infamous for his sexual objectification of women.

During the Attitude era, he helped make his "Puppies!" catchphrase popular despite that he didn't invent that term.

And when he said "puppies", he wasn't referring to baby dogs.

The Attitude era probably had the trashiest, most shallow people in the audience ever, getting out of their seats and cheering loudly for beautiful but talentless women like Sable and Debra simply because of their beauty and sex appeal and nothing else and especially loving Jerry Lawler's "puppies!" catchphrase, sometimes even chanting "we want puppies!" in the crowd.

Y'know what Lisa Simpson said, you'll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator of society.

Near the end of 1999, arguably at the end of the 20th Century, during a "Monday Night Raw" episode, you strolled and strutted through a hallway wearing a black crop top with your cleavage hiked up.

Your tits were pushed up like Britney Spears' chest in that photo of her in her childhood bedroom from that infamous Rolling Stone photoshoot, your breasts were pushed up like Carmen Electra's chest in that scene from "Scary Movie" where her clothes are torn off of her and she's running in a bra and thong in the grass.

Your breasts were showing a lot of skin and flesh, but not enough for your nipples and areolas to be seen.

The camera zoomed in on your chest, only to slowly zoom out and reveal it's you.

The males (both grown men and underage boys) in the audience immediately got out of their seats and cheered when they saw some cleavage, a few of them even wolf whistling at you, Jerry Lawler sitting at the commentary table's eyes almost bugged out of their sockets whilst he shrieked "Puppies!!!" over excitedly.

While you strolled down this hallway flaunting your cleavage, Val Venis was leaning his back on the wall, his long hair hanging down and not tied back in a ponytail whilst he was dressed in his signature towel wrapped around his waist, only to see your chest sticking out.

His eyes grew wide and his grinned from ear to ear seeing your tits, and he walked up to you with his shit eating grin plastered on his face, his eyes staring down at your chest.

He wasn't the only one thirsting over your chest, Christian, yes, that same Christian from the Brood who would form a duo with Edge by the end of the year and blow up in popularity next year, was standing by a wall and he could see your ample bosom sticking out.

Christian had his long blond locks hanging down, not tied back in a ponytail, and he was dressed in a sleeveless shirt with tights.

He walked up to you and looked at your chest, whereas you stopped walking when Val had approached you, letting him take a good look at your tits.

Your eyes were looking into his eyes while your lips were grinning, your body was slowly and slightly swaying from side to side.

Val, meanwhile, was staring and gushing over your breasts with his smooth yet gravelly, iconic voice, and Christian, too, was getting a good look at your chest.

Christian's eyes were glued to your tits and his mouth smiled, and you turned yourself around so Christian can look at your tits, your mouth still grinning while Christian looked at your chest.

Your arms and hands were behind your back, coyly swaying your body left to right like a little girl, even your facial expression was like that of a stereotypical naughty kid.

"Are...are they real?" Christian asked.

You nodded your head.

Christian, too, was gushing over your breasts, and Val tried to invite you to his hotel room, though so was Christian.

Christian got a little bit angry and nearly almost scuffled with Val, but you interrupted them and lifted your arms, resting your arms across the back of their shoulders, your fingers playing with strands of their hair.

You purred to them that they both can come (in more ways than one) to your locker room.

As you said they can both come to your locker room, your eyes were looking back and forth at them while your lips grinned from ear to ear.

They liked that idea, both of them nodding their heads and grinning.

"They're some lucky men!" Jerry Lawler exclaimed on commentary.

"So...what time can we meet up?" you asked them.

"After the show?" Val suggested.

"Yeah!" Christian chirped, nodding his head and smiling.

"Sounds good to me" you purred, still grinning and smiling.

You pulled your arms off of their shoulders and walked down the hallway some more, and Jeff Hardy and his brother Matt had approached you, their eyes staring at your chest.

A few teenage girls in the audience got out of their seats and shrieked when they saw the Hardy Boyz, who had gotten a makeover and were up and coming wrestling stars.

"I know it's not polite to stare" Jeff Hardy said "But damn..."

They both were smiling while looking at your chest, and you stopped walking so they can stare at your tits.

You were staring more at Jeff and smiling at him, he's the hot Hardy Boy in your opinion.

Jeff raised his hands towards his ribcage while his fingers motioned like he wanted to squeeze your breasts.

Just as you were showing off your chest at the Hardy Boyz, you rotated your body towards the left only to find the New Age Outlaws were behind you; Billy Gunn and Road Dogg.

The audience got out of their seats and cheered when they saw that they were right next to you.

You looked a little surprised when they were right next to you, but whatever.

Billy and Road Dogg were grinning whilst their eyes were staring at your chest.

Billy's hair was hanging down, not tied back in a ponytail or having little braids.

"I'd love to do those puppies D-O-double G style" Road Dogg stated whilst his eyes were staring at your breasts, and what he said got the males in the audience out of their seats cheering for him.

"I might be an Ass Man" Billy said, grinning from ear to ear "But even I can't resist some nice puppies"

"Me too!" Jerry Lawler exclaimed on commentary, not being shown on screen.

Your eyes were staring into Billy's whilst you smiled at him.

"Y'know I like you, Billy" you said, leaning your body against his and your voice trying to sound sexy. "But as for you, ehhhh..."

Your head turned and looked at Road Dogg when you were unsure of what to think of him, your face looking disgusted when you said "ehhhh...", much to Road Dogg's dismay.

"What?!" Road Dogg asked, his face looking puzzled and slightly upset.

You then walked away from them both and continued strutting through the hallway, your tits bouncing up and down while you strolled through the hallway.

Al Snow approached you from your right side, where even he couldn't help but get a glimpse at your tits.

The audience got out of their seats and cheered for him once they saw him.

His eyes were glued at your cleavage and he grinned from ear to ear looking at your chest.

Like the Bella Twins said, he can look, but he can't touch.

He followed you and tried keeping up with you, staring at your bouncing chest.

You continued walking down that hallway, your heels clicking on the slick, hard floor.

From the left, Shawn Michaels had walked up to you, and you were really happy seeing him come up to you.

Women and even a few teenage girls got out of their seats and cheered when they saw Shawn appear on screen.

Shawn's eyes were staring at your cleavage, he grinned and smiled while looking at your breasts.

You stopped walking to have Shawn observe your breasts, you smiled whilst he thirsted over your tits.

You lifted one of your hands and your fingers poked through his hair, your fingers playing and stroking his hair.

You slightly leaned your body to Shawn's torso and pressed your tits onto his chest, your voice sounding sexy and seductive.

You were inviting him if he wants to come, in more ways than one, to your locker room when the show's over.

Shawn couldn't help but stare at your breasts, but you were reminding him to look up at your face.

Of course Shawn wants to come with you, in more ways than one!

It seems like when you walk down the hallway, every man runs up to you and wants to look at your chest.

After spending some time with Shawn, you walked down the hallway some more, and Stevie Richards, yeah, that Stevie Richards from ECW and (for a little while) WCW rushed up to you and looked at your chest.

You don't mind Stevie looking at your tits, he is a cutie pie (though you don't mind if Al Snow stares at your chest as well, even if he didn't look at that good with that handlebar moustache).

Stevie was trying to keep up walking behind you, he followed you from behind while his eyes were glued to your chest and his mouth smiling.

Davey Boy Smith was leaning his back against the wall as you strolled past him, and even he had to walk up to you and stare at your chest.

You stopped walking once Davey approached you, letting him take a peek at your cleavage.

Stevie stopped walking behind you when you stopped walking, where you let these two men get a glimpse of your chest.

"Y'know, I respect you as a woman" Davey stated "But..."

He's pretty much at a loss for words at your chest.

Davey Boy Smith nearly could mention how his nickname is the British Bulldog and how he wants to do your puppies doggystyle, but Road Dogg already mentioned that.

Davey's eyes were gazing at your ample cleavage, he was smiling looking at your chest, whereas you were swaying your body back and forth whilst smiling at him.

You also turned your body towards Stevie Richards for him to have a peek at your chest, your lips grinning from ear to ear at him.

Once you felt like you had enough of Davey and Stevie looking at you, you turned your body to a swerve and walked past Kane who was leaning his back on the wall.

As you walked past Kane, even Kane's head turned to look at you as you strolled past him, though you couldn't see if he was smiling at your chest or not.

Test (yeah, the same Test that married Stephanie McMahon and had a relationship with Stacy Keibler) would stare at your tits, though he's about to get married to Stephanie McMahon.

Though, damn, there's a wrestling storyline: Test is secretly cheating on Stephanie McMahon with you!

Your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

#wwf #attitude era #val venis #christian #davey boy smith #new age outlaws #hardy boyz #wwf attitude #fanfiction #1999 #90s

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simpsonsnight · 3 years

Text

Episode #95

Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy Season 5 - Episode 14 | February 17, 1994

Hot damn, what a GREAT episode. SO fucking good. This is the one that starts with Grandpa giving the Simpson family their inheritance early so he can enjoy their enjoyment of it. Lisa gets herself a talking Malibu Stacy doll, and is horrified by the terrible sexist messaging her stock phrases convey to impressionable little girls like herself. She finds the creator of Malibu Stacy (no longer part of the company after a hostile takeover/buyout thing) and convinces her to put out a competing doll with a lotta LISA style shit in it. Meanwhile Grandpa takes a job at Krusty Burger, where some ultimately pointless but still pretty funny and memorable gags happen. Seems like a parody of that schmaltzy McDonalds commercial from the 80s “The New Kid” about a old timer working at McDonalds and it being cute and life-affirming. Makes me shudder.

Anyway, this episode has a lot of extremely funny stuff in it. Remember Smithers computer with the Mr. Burns message!??? That’s in this! Remember when Grandpa is like “EVER SEEN A BURGER THAT CAN TAKE A BITE OUT OF YOU???” That’s in this! There’ other stuff! This exchange made me lose it, which I don’t remember ever laughing at before:

Lisa: This is great. They're really going to sell our doll! Stacy Lovell: Well, it wasn't difficult. I just told them who I was, and who you were, and they couldn't resist. Lisa: Really? Stacy Lovell: Well, I didn't tell them who you were.

Also the bit about her funding the viet cong and the Kent Brockman taking cues form his daughter for news stories, damn. GREAT fucking jokes. Maybe the ONLY truly unkind gay joke I can think of in the classic era of the show (where you can’t explain it away with context or characterization or whatever) is a joke in this, where as an example of Lisa’s radical leftism run amok is the fact that she made the family march in the gay pride parade, with Bart holding up a newspaper where he’s on the front page enjoying gays. It’s a really funny screenshot, but it does stick out as an unnecessary pot shot that you’re just not used to pre-season 9. Also, I can actually speak on this with A LITTLE BIT of experience: I related to the Simpsons A LOT when I was roughly Bart’s age, the Simpsons house was nice and big and comfortable like my house was, and I lived in a small backwater city like Springfield. So I can completely transport myself to a place and time when attitudes about gay guys was mostly unaccepting and hateful, and I personally wouldn’t have been caught dead at a gay pride event for my own homophobic reasons and fear of being beat up by PCP addicted klansmen. But I DID watch a gay pride event on public access once and there were so many titties. Uncensored titties. It was one of the greatest things I ever saw. EXTREMELY formative moment. So, I’m guessing there’s more to this story. Bart probably developed a thing for girls that don’t wear make up and have short hair. I’m guessing.

MAIL BAG

You ever get hangry? That's when you are hungry and angry. I was once hangry and I had a cheeseburger and it filled me up goooooooood :)

This person sounds like an NPC on Earthbound. And I like it! I’ve been hangry, I ate some cereal. Did the trick, “no doubt about it”

I want you to do me a favor. I know you aren't from the UK (American right). Go over to youtube and find the 1985 Original Theme for Eastenders. It will take your breath away.

#simpsons #season 5

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gotatext · 4 years

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hllo ! i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) crawling back to this rp once more like the dirty sewer slug i am !! i just can’t get enough, baybeyyy ! u may remember me frm such roles as alma putnam, rory bergstrom, bridget matusiak or greta o’driscoll 2 name jst a few.... sure there were more over these long years, bt the show must go on.... this is mimi, she’s dogmatic, tenacious n single-minded 2 the point of recklessness, she doesn’t like handouts n she’s funding her degree through her onlyfans account n moaning abt shit on tiktok. we love 2 see it !! slam that like button n i’ll creep into ur DMs like the slippery worm i am OR u can discord me at that bitch carole baskin#8664. a humble pinterest.

『ALEXA DEMIE ❙ CIS-FEMALE 』 ⟿ looks like MIMI MARTÍNEZ is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as an ARCHITECTURE AND SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY student. SHE is 22 years old & known to be STRONG-WILLED, GOAL-ORIENTED, ARROGANT & EASILY BORED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ nora. 24. gmt. she/her.

this is p embarassing but i actually originally wrote mimi for a discord rp based around love island asgjag dont laugh at me but it was so chaotic n someone deleted it w-out telling any of us so i lost her bio.... all her threads....e verythin.... it was mad. but anyway we startin from scratch w this intro so bare with

mimi is a really extra character so when trying to flesh her out i thot of the most extra thing i could do n made a colour coded mindmap with watercolour paints detailing her values, aesthetics and early life. shoot me

background: she grew up in a trailer home in boulder city, abt half an hour from vegas. her mom had worked in a vegas casino for most of her 20s but relocated to boulder city for a slower pace of life / lower crime rate when she started having kids. mimi has 2 older brothers n she’s the youngest. has that invulnerable younger sibling complex n basically thinks nothing can touch her. very confident in her own intelligence and her ability to get shit done

has mexican ancestry on her mom’s side. doesn’t know her dad. was raised with spanish catholic principals n found it all very stained glass windows and extra n that’s why she was kinda drawn to the decadence of vegas and all these massively high key aesthetics, like dia de les muertos was her fave thing growin up just bcos the pure feel of the festival and painting a sugar skull on her face n being able to party on the streets in a flower crown where everyone was kinda anonymous but together in this celebration

in boulder city her mom worked as a carer as there’s a lot of retirees there. mimi really resented the slow pace of life, longed for some fucking energy n life. she was a cheerleader in school but outside of school there wsn’t much to do except practise stunts and go on bike rides. occasionally they’d get dressed up and catch a bus to henderson, the next biggest city for them to get tht sweet night life

her teenage years consisted mostly of hanging around the renovated motel blocks used as housing projects n tanning by the pool. very florida project if you’ve seen that. she reminds me a lot of the mum in that. also she started working as an avon rep going door-to-door when she was 16 bcos she wanted to have her own income. like as young as 14 she’d decided she was smart enough to go to college but she didn’t have the money n her family didn’t really see it as a worthwhile thing, her mom was very like the mom from matilda “you chose books.... i chose looks!” which i think is where a lot of mimi’s more shallow / appearance-driven traits come from

wasn’t really ‘cool’ until high school. before that she was a bit of a lisa simpson type. won a spelling bee when she was 9. was in the mathletes squad in middle school. when she went from middle school to high school she started cheer and tried to reinvent herself basically. always been very concerned with social mobility and keen to socially climb, like when she enters a new situation she’ll find out who the alphas are and quickly try n befriend them

when she turned 18 she moved out and went to vegas despite her mom hating the idea bcos it was everything she’d tried to get her kids away from. she worked in the clubs there for several years as a shot girl, a table dancer, n eventually she started workin behind the bar in a strip club. in the club it ws really hard to resist becoming a dancer bcos of the sheer amount they made in tips. no one really pressured her into it she just eventually decided tht it was way more logical to do it while she was young n fit and had the stamina and ppl were willing to pay to see her body so she started taking pole fitness lessons. she also started working as a cam girl around this time

working in vegas strip clubs is basically whats paid for uni. like she didn’t go at 18 like most of her friends did bcos she didn’t have the money and she didn’t want to feel indebted to a college like she had to compete for her place and not put a toe out of line bcos she was on a scholarship. she was determined to pay her own way and it took 4 years of working really hard and saving n even tho she was working in vegas she basically never went out bcos every penny she had needed to go on uni n thts how we get to radcliffe baybeeyy

part 2 - interior / values / personality

values: the aesthetic !! literally loves the aesthetic so much. everything she owns is super embellished, she’s a pop socket gal, her dell laptop is covered in glitzy stickers, she always has acrylics n probs makes nail art videos on tiktok. really tuned into tiny details like painting a little hello kitty above her eye which translates into her degree when she’s doing small-scale mockups of town plans n stuff... she jst puts so much detail into them. ppl often get surprised when she tells them she does architecture but it makes so much sense bcos she grew up in a trailer park n was always thinking about ways the space could be more efficiently used, like she loves re-conceptualising neighbourhoods, definitely spent hours on sims as a kid. she also grew up near hoover dam n so loads of school trips they just took them there n she was like.... this is tight but it could be cooler.... where’s the passion....

massively into photography, has such a neat instagram feed like everything just compliments the tones in the next post like mMMM. idk if any of u know any architecture students but this is literally the one constant i can find…. like they all have super good instagrams feeds. is that bitch that will take 40 fake candids of u in a row at different angles to get u the perfect profile picture cos she understands the importance of marketing urself and having an online #brand

has wire rimmed glasses that she doesn’t need to see BUT they r like a magnifying glass for when she’s working with really small materials to do a mock up of an urban plan, and also just sometimes wears them for the aesthetic bc she’s such a pinterest bitch

assassination nation is such a big mood. literally the aesthetics of that and lily colson’s whole brand of feminism and nudity not being inherently sexual but at the same time wanting to profit off that bcos why the fuck shouldnt she use a corrupt system to her advantage is incredibly mimi

literally a human personification of a bratz doll both in attitude and fashion sense

somehow simultaneously gansey in the raven cycle AND elle woods in legally blonde? the two genders

values cont bc i started rambling: her independence and freedom. being the best at any given task she sets her mind to accomplish because she is unable to accept failure. social mobility. sexual liberation. interested in the psychology of sub-cultures and how ppl form groups and interact w each other and cult identities which is why she minors in anthropology. pro-choice. pro-weed legalisation. pro-sex worker rights. very activist.

aesthetics tht remind me of her: von dutch. a strappy cami top that says ‘please do not do coke in the bathroom’. low-waisted jeans that show off her belly button piercing. acrylic nails tapping against a heavily embellished second-hand dell laptop. heart shaped sunglasses in every colour. translucent stripper heels with barbie doll heads and plastic spiders in the heel. spraying champagne you cant afford all over the walls. narcotics in a heart shaped locket. an amazon wishlist full of lingerie linked on your tinder profile. sex tapes recorded on VCR. a religious devotion to waxing clinics. necking shots like you were born to do it.

she’s an enfj type which makes her pretty charismatic and confidence, like she has a fierce kind of energy to her, but she’s also super unwilling to accept criticism, dogmatic and can only really see her own way of thinking, quite ruthless when it comes 2 other ppls emotions despite having a poor control of her own and being prone to turbulence / throwin a bitch fit in the craft lab. easily bored. competitive. self-assured to the point of arrogance. forceful. adaptable. usually more rational than emotional but occasionally loses the ability to make rational decisions when blinded by a need for perfectionism.

very goal-oriented. money motivates her. money and clothes. she wants to look bomb while earning big bucks. when she gets her mind set on a project it literally consumes her she will forget to eat and sleep? i don’t know her. like when a final design project is due for architecture she’ll be up all night doing adderall and speed to keep her awake working on the placement of a single tree for ages cos its gotta be perfect

loves chaos. will spill your secrets and pretend it was an accident. will always be that gif of kim kardashian sipping her tea while drama unfolds around her. lives for the drama like that gifset of bratz when she comes running and gets her phone out to record a fight.

im makin her sound like a really bad person but hopefully she’ll be somewhat likeable she can be very charismatic and endearing and she’s naturally quite funny. also now she’s finally in college and doesn’t have to worry so much about money she actually allows herself to party n bcos she denied herself of it for so long she kinda makes up for it by going p wild like will be the girl climbing on to stage to crowd surf at gigs or doing a summersault off the bar and being escorted out by bouncers, thats the energy were looking at, pure dionysian hedonistic impulse

really gd at talking her way out of shit like parking fines. so good at being an ‘im baby’ girl and often dumbs herself down to figures of authority to appear less like a threatening ball-breaker and more like a confused fiat 500 girl who didn’t know red meant stop she thought it meant slow down

listens almost exclusively to female artists. has fergalicious on repeat when she does squats infront of the mirror n just the biggest fergie stan. also lana del rey’s whole vibe is massive mimi energy

ok ya thats all i have for now..... hopefully this is somewhat coherent and not just garbage.

#radintro #plot w me bitches #im fun n love quarantine sadness

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luxfurem · 4 years

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slam dunks this in here🎰 also lmk if u need a list of my muses, cries, i know there's a lot

this randomized ships meme. / not accepting. | @gildedscripture

lowkey this took two days, i’m not going to do this again adgjdfgfd. anygays, here are the candidates:

gildedscripture:

lisa

nemesis

misa

howl

khrysophos:

Alice Longbottom.

Rheanys III Targaryen.

Harshaw.

Nikolai Lantsov.

Theodore Nott.

lisa & alice: gryffindor kids. alice is, as a matter of fact, from germany, so all i’m saying is exactly what i’m saying here. she was born in germany, went to durmstrang for a short period of time, but after her father died, her mother moved back to england and she was sorted into gryffindor belatedly. they could at the very least be friends based on having that in common, OR, you know, be a powercouple, where alice is that badass auror, and lisa… well i don’t know what she does in hp context, but we can talk about it :)))

lisa & rhaenys: honestly dunno where to start. rhaenys is my dornish dragon daughter with a determination to get back her father’s throne from the usurper. she survived the sacking of king’s landing because she was whisked away by someone. she grew up in dorne, raised by her uncles. we can totally talk about other verses! i think the two of them would totally get along because they’re both kind, easy to befriend, readily smiling, that kinda vibe? rhaenys can be ambitious and driven but she would never be unkind for no reason --- she’s much too smart to make enemies like that, anyway.

lisa & harshaw: oh man. harshaw is a silly one. he’s an etherealki, basically he controls fire. bit of a pyromaniac, but he won’t burn anyone. he just really likes fire. has a pet cat. don’t think he’d like all the dogs she has. i don’t know how well she’d handle his unusual actions? he’s not a bad guy, though. can be relied on. does she need a firemaker of sorts? he’s a simper. he’d probably simp for her, easily. powerful women make his dick inflate a little. i dunno what else to tell you.

lisa & nikolai: so? honestly? it could be either/or. nikolai OOZES confidence, like. you haven’t seen a man ooze confidence the way nik does. he’s prince-hiding-as-privateer in his own world, and in hp he is a ravenclaw who leads a guerilla movement against death eaters that’s a little different than the order. he’ll do anything for his people, really. he’d try to get into her good books, especially if she could help him in his endeavors, but he’s not cunning or underhanded about it. i think his attitude could amuse her? business partners?

lisa & theo: see. theo is… he’s a loner. when you get on his turf and he doesn’t want you there, be prepared for a volley of sarcasm or just plain closed-offness. he struggles with his asexuality and how to put it into words, and as a result is hard to befriend. his type of kindness is a sort of aloof kind. it’s simple and without comment. making sure you drink by placing a waterbottle in front of you, reminding you to take your meds, that kind of stuff. he likes kind people, so lisa would probably at the very least not bother him. friendship-wise, something sibling-y could definitely bloom if given the time and energy.

nemesis & alice: unlikely gryff/slytherin friendships? nemesis is technically older than alice, so there’s that. gosh idk where to go with them. pls help me out.

nemesis & rhaenys: uhm….. slytherin friendships! or wink-wonk-yness. they would probably get along? rhaenys is very outspoken, but to the people she thinks she can trust. nemesis would probably be one of them? could prove interesting.

nemesis & harshaw: he wants to know if she wants to pet his cat. her name is oncat. the cat is cute. maybe next up they can advance to her petting him? on his head!!!! i have no idea. he’s a bit of an oddball, say luna but with a… love for fire.

nemesis & nikolai: nik will be sweet to her, esp if she isn’t too deeply stuck in pureblood ideals. he’s the type of person that tolerates the “nobility” bc he needs them, being prince in his own verse, but he’s very much a forger of his own path, a man of the people, and yeah…

nemesis & theo: i mean, does she want a silent but solid presence at her side? theo’s her man. he wouldn’t bother her i suppose. also nemesis being way older i suppose would mean a different dynamic, unless we’re talking aus here? i dunno. god i’m shit at this.

ai & alice: do i think alice would contact ai for some vengeance, the cost being her own soul? hell yeah! send voldemort to hell, ai, the world will be better off. alice would be a little intimidated, but she’s a lioness so she wouldn’t let it show afgfdgd.

ai & rhaenys: rhaenys would try to figure out a way to have ai’s type of vengeance without it costing her soul. wouldn’t work, i assume, but not for lack of her trying. they’d get along, i think? rhaenys would be kind to her.

ai & harshaw: harshaw saw she can throw fireballs and they’re instantly best friends. that’s just the way it is now. they’re pals, besties, a team. she throws the fireballs, he’ll help them along. oh hey, ai, did you know he has a cat? lmao.

ai & nikolai: first of, that rhymes. i think nikolai would find her very interesting, but wouldn’t be too interested in her services, mostly bc he’s got more than one person in his way in his verse and to sell his soul for just one when he can figure out other means to thwart them… seems useless to him.

ai & theo: they’re both closed-off people. i suppose they could get along in silent companionship. he’d be scared of her, tbh, if he knew what she was/what she does, but still, silent solidarity is a strong motivator?

misa & alice: gryffindors! GRYFFS! alice wants to protect her tbh. she’s so sweet! i wonder if alice knows better than to see her as just dumb. that it’s an act of sorts. in any case, alice can be the butch-esque girlfriend misa is looking for, is all i’m saying.

misa & rhaenys: rhaenys would… tolerate misa, but the dumb act is lowkey getting on her nerves. still, so long as she’s not opposing rhaenys in any way, shape or form, all is good! so… so yeah, that’s the tea here. sip sip.

misa & harshaw: they’re both edgy. a little oddball-ish. does she want to see his cat? god i need to stop with that joke. anyway! uhm. they can get up to some shenanigans. he thinks she’s sweet, and cute. not his type but that sentiment goes both ways so there’s that.

misa & nikolai: nik doesn’t have it in him to be mean to her. he’s observant enough to have a guess that she might not be so airheaded as she pretends to be, and he admires her for that. i don’t know how well they’d get along, nikolai is always busy, learning, helping. could prove to be interesting, i suppose?

misa & theo: theo probably thinks misa is a little annoying, he doesn’t really know how to talk to her without feeling like it’s kind of empty. this could change, though, they could learn to get along. i feel like it’d take a lot of time and a lot of patience, perhaps an incident that would help them understand each other a little better, that kind of jazz.

howl & alice: see i feel like this could either be the greatest success or the biggest disaster. howl being flamboyant versus alice who is straightforward and sassy, either they hit it off immediately or they are arguing the entire time. alice definitely wouldn’t put up with some bs, being upfront with him, but maybe he needs that?

howl & rhaenys: she’s fascinated by his magic, thinks he’s a little extra but it makes her laugh? so in a sense, that couldn’t be bad. since she’s a targ, she’s fireproof? that’s her trick. hope he likes it. oh and she has a special bond with dragons, maybe he thinks that cool, too. teach her some magic, she wants to know. for innocent reasons, no like… overthrowing usurpers, no no!

howl & harshaw: a wizard with a fire-demon versus an etherealki with a fire-obsession? what could go wrong tbh. howl will have to put up with the cat but i’m sure he’ll manage. i think they’d get along? harshaw is odd enough to catch howl off guard every now and again. maybe do keep an eye on him, though. wouldn’t want him to accidentally set a fire.

howl & nikolai: they’re both flamboyant and blonde, i feel like they might as well be the same person, except one is a wizard and the other is a prince. nik isn’t as dramatic, but he’s still kind of extra. thinks very highly of himself, always has a comeback, a backup plan. i have no idea what kind of relationship can come from this, but i feel like they’d get along, somehow. just bc they’re so similar. they could potentially trip over the fact that nik is very duty-oriented and howl avoids active duty? or the draft, rather.

howl & theo: if howl can drag theo out from behind his walls, all the power to howl tbh. either i imagine howl will be frustrated at the lack of response to his antics, or he’ll try harder? hope howl likes getting dragged fgdgd. maybe they’ll drag each other. i’d pay money for this tbh.

#gildedscripture #*✧･ﾟ OUT OF CHARACTER.#//i worked on this for TWO DAYS

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bbyboybrock--archived · 5 years

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Serendipity (C.B) | Chapter 13

Summary: Serendipity: (n) the chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way

Popular youtuber Isabella Hart, known as Bella to her audience, bends over backwards to separate her youtube life from her private life. Known for her overall clean content and her bubbly attitude, Isabella has a wild side to her that only those inside the youtube community know about. When Bella meets Colby during one of the trap house parties she finally meets someone she can be her genuine self with. When trouble arises after their meeting, will Bella be able to hand the pressure or will she destroy her relationship with Colby as well as herself in the process. [This starts in 2018]

Written: 2019

Word Count: 3,065

Warnings: swearing and suicide

(I put a **trigger warning** right before the triggering part of the chapter and **trigger warning over** at the end of that part so you can read around it)

Serendipity Masterlist

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?" Colby asks for the millionth time.

My mother asked to meet with me. When I told Colby, he was worried that something would happen like last time and he wouldn't be there to protect me. After texting back with my mother she assured me that it was only going to be the two of us. She even suggested meeting at the diner we used to go to when I was little. I only agreed because of that. I have a lot of good family memories that don't include my father at the diner it brings me some comfort that this will go well.

"Babe, it's fine. Just come over in like two to three hours and we can hide from the world together." I reassure him.

The leak only happened three days ago. I've spent the past two days locked in my apartment. I refused to see or speak to anyone. Colby only partly obeyed my wished. He stayed at the house to give me my boundaries but he would still text and call me constantly to check on me. I needed a few days alone to try to process everything and I can't do that properly if Colby is cuddling with me all day; that would only make me forget about my problems.

"Okay, I'll come over soon. If you aren't there I'll let myself in and wait for you."

"That's fine. I'll see you later."

I open the familiar door to the diner. It looks the same as it did years ago. Suddenly, I'm nine years old again and my mother picked up my brothers and me early from school to take us to the doctor's office for check-ups. I spot my mother familiar brown hair. A small smile appears on my face. Maybe this the time will be different. As I walk closer to her I make sure to hide my smile.

"Hello, mother," I say as I sit down across from her. She looks up from her phone and her seemingly constant disappointed face does not disappear.

"Isabella, I can't stay long." She says as she puts her phone away.

"Then, why did you say to meet at a diner? We could have met at a Starbucks or—"

"We saw those pictures and videos of you." My mother says flatly. She barely makes eye contact and stares mostly at her cup of coffee before looking at me. No, it's more like she's looking through me.

"Y-you did? What do you mean by 'we'?"

"All of us, your cousin was the one to tell me. The entire family has seen them at this point. We also heard about you being fired from your management company. " What she doesn't say but I know she means that everyone has seen them including him.

"The situation is more complicated than you think. I didn't know about them being taken."

"Do you really think I would believe a single thing you've said after what you've put this family through?" Her eyebrows furrow but she speaks in a hushed voice.

"Excuse me?" My slightly raised voice only seems to anger her more. She gives me a look that warns me to be quiet.

"After you... spread those lies about what your father was doing to you, that damaged our family image."

"I didn't lie. They actually did happen. Why would I—why would anyone lie in detail about that?"

"I've read about girls like you who lie about things just to get attention or because something is wrong mentally. We gave you enough attention growing up so it must be the latter."

"I have never lied to you in my entire life." My voice is low but my voice is strong enough for her to hear the seriousness in my tone.

"So secretly moving out of the house on your 18th birthday and tell me you were going to be out with friends isn't lying?"

"I had to get out of there. I had to put myself first and leave before things got worse."

"I don't remember raising such a selfish whore."

That stung. I pause for a second trying to call myself down.

"I needed a way to numb the pain and block out what was happening at home. I couldn't talk to anyone and that's my fault. I didn't want Joey and Benji to be pulled out of the house and have their lives ripped apart. I didn't want you to have to lose all three of your kids as well as your husband. Even when I was going through all that I put you and my older brothers first. I should have told grandma or a teacher or anybody else."

"Stop fixating on the story you created in your head. Your father is a great man who would never lay his hand on any child, especially his own daughter."

"You know what mom, for your sake I've been dancing around this because I didn't want to cause you more pain than this information. But I'm going to say it because it is no longer healthy for me. He raped me, mom. Repeatedly for six years, dad raped me in my own bedroom at night when you were fast asleep. Before that, for as long as I could remember, he molested me almost daily. I know that you don't want to believe it and that's it hard to believe but it's true. He threatened me to avoid me from saying anything and when I finally got the courage to tell someone, you didn't believe me. You called me a liar and told everyone in the family that I was mentally unstable and told them not to believe me if I told them what was happening at home. Now you're going to sit here, in one of the places that I have so many happy memories, and do it all over again?" My mother looked taken aback by my words.

As she is about to open her mouth to reply the waitress comes over to the table and places a water cup in front of me. She looks between my mother and I. Maybe she could sense the tension between us and tried to defuse it. Maybe she's worried that we're just going to sit here and not order. I turn to her and nicely say we're fine. I turn back to my mother and see that her expression of shock and hurt have not left her face. The waitress leaves and my mother clears her throat and sits up straight.

"Don't call me that?" She says suddenly.

"Don't call you what?" I ask confused.

"Mom or mother or any other variation of the word."

"I don't—"

"When I asked you to meet with me, it was to tell you that you are no longer welcomed as a member of the family."

"Excuse me? You're kicking me out of the family?"

"You're behavior as of late has been unacceptable. Accusing Steven of such things was horrendous and traumatizing for all members of the family. To find out that you've been running around Los Angles like a slut and spreading your legs for any boy with a cute face and partying doing God knows what else is where we have to draw the line. Think about your brothers, who are actually in college trying to do something with their lives? Or your cousins? Your aunts and uncles? You think that just because you're rich enough to ruin your life you can ruin all of ours? We've had enough. You're dragging all of us down with you and tarnishing our family name in the process. I should have aborted you when I had the chance."

"I wish you had, not being born at all would probably have been better than being born into this shit show. Not that you'd care but do you know how many times I almost killed myself before I told you about what was happening? Or how much those thoughts multiplied when you told me that I was lying? Just to make things easier for everyone, I thought it would have been better to die."

"Maybe you should have, you would have saved everyone from going through all that you put us through." I stare at her in disbelief as she brushes off what she just said and reaches into her purse to grab her wallet. I quickly pull at mine and grab a $20 bill and a $50 bill. I slam the $20 bill on the table in front of her.

"No, no Lisa. You invited me out, the least I can do is pay for your coffee. Keep the change." I say flatly before getting up to leave. Before walking out of the diner I place the $50 bill in the tip jar. If they had to watch that loving family moment, they might as well get a tip from it.

When I walk out of the diner I'm visibly shaking. My face is dry and it's like my body is about to burst from all the pent up emotion. I try my best to keep it in because the last thing I need is for KeemStar talking about me having a mental breakdown in public. My head isn't even controlling my body anymore. I start walking and don't stop until I'm inside a small liquor store. I walk around mindlessly for a few seconds replaying the conversation in my head over and over again.

When I snap out of it I'm in the section with medical supplies. I eye a bottle of sleeping pills and hesitate before picking it up and walking to the counter. The woman at the counter scans my bottle not even paying attention to me. While she does that I quickly order an uber to take me home.

"Anything else?" She asked, probably wishing I don't so she can go back to doing whatever she was doing before.

"...Yeah, give me a bottle of vodka. I don't care which one." I say as I pull out my debit card. For the first time in my life, she doesn't ID me. She just looks at me for a second and then goes and gets a bottle from behind her before finishing ringing me up. Maybe her day is going just about as great as mine is and she doesn't care either.

When I walk out of the liquor store my Uber was already waiting for me. It isn't until I sit myself down into the car that I realized I bought. The rational part of my brain that usually tells me to stop doesn't. It agrees with the irrational me. Or maybe, the rational part of me is the one controlling me right now. My own mother agrees and mother knows best I guess.

**TRIGGER WARNING**

When I get into my apartment that's when all hell breaks loose. I close and lock the door and slide my back against it and cry and scream. Not only are the emotions I was holding from the conversation with my mother surfacing, but it feels like every single emotion I've ever felt is making an appearance too. I made up my mind in the car that I was going to go through with it. The whole time there was a little part of the rational side of me that kept thinking about Colby. I couldn't do this to him or anyone else the little family that I made with his friends over the past few months. But another part of me argues that I always put others before me my whole life, I deserve to put me first for once.

After calming myself down a bit I managed to get myself off the floor and placing the two bottles on the coffee table before getting a few things from my room. I walk out of my room and placed what I grabbed on the coffee table too. I wipe my tears and examine everything in front of me. I grabbed the notebook where I document everything about mine and Colby's relationship, a piece of paper, a pen, and an envelope. I can't make the biggest commitment of my life without letting Colby know how I feel and how none of this is his fault.

After pouring all my feelings and thoughts for Colby I scribble his name on the envelope and tuck it into the notebook. I took a few shots from the vodka bottle before tearfully taking small handfuls of the sleeping pills until the bottle was finished. I sat on the couch with the vodka bottle in one hand and my phone in the other. I continue to take sips; the taste seems to be numb to my mouth but still burns my throat as I force it down. I scroll through pictures of Colby that you have in your camera roll. I want his smiling face to be the last thing I see before I die. He's not going to be smiling when he finds out but this is how I want to remember him. As I scroll I see that Colby is calling me. Without thinking I answer the phone.

"Hello?" I say slowly.

"Hey babe, I'm walking up to your apartment right now. Are you home yet?" I can hear the happiness in Colby's voice as he speaks on the other end. Part of me starts to feel sad.

"Y-yeah." I choke out. I start crying more than I was before.

"How did it go with your mom?"

"Colby... I fucked up...I'm sorry... I made a mistake." I couldn't help but slur a bit. The tears are falling faster as I thinking about Colby finding me and my last memory of Colby won't be a happy one.

"What are you talking about? Are you drunk?"

Before I could say anything Colby suddenly appeared in front of me. I start crying harder, this wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't want him to see you like this. To make matters worse I feel myself slowly slipping. I'm going to die in Colby's arms and ruin his life.

"Hey, why are you crying? What happened?" Colby says as he takes the bottle out of my hand and tried to wipe my tears.

"Colby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I cry out. My voice barely making it out of my throat.

"Speak up. I can't hear you and I want to help."

"Notebook..." Was all I could say while pointing behind him. I wanted him to get the notebook but I also wanted him to see the empty bottle next to it. I started slumping down on the couch. My eyelids were getting heavier with each passing second. This is not how this is supposed to go. I watch as Colby looks at me confused. He turns around and picks up the notebook. Before he turns back around he slowly picks up the pill bottle.

"Isabella... You didn't... Oh, fuck." I watch as Colby drops the notebook and pulls out his phone.

"I'm...s...sorry" I mumble out.

"Fuck! Izzy, don't close your eyes— Hello..." Everything drifts off into peaceful darkness.

**TRIGGER WARNING OVER**

****

I wake up to the sound of a constant beep. I open my eyes and quickly shut them due to the brightness of the room. I try to rub my eyes but both of my hands are tied to something. I open my eyes to see white, fluffy fabric around both of my wrist. For a second I'm confused but then everything comes back to me. The leak, my meeting with my mother, Colby coming to my apartment early— all of it came flooding back. I examine the room and see a familiar brown haired boy sitting this his head in his hands.

"Col...by..." I whisper out. My throat feels raw and I can barely talk. His head perks up and he stares at me for a second. I can see that his eyes are red and so are his cheeks. His face is still wet with tears. It breaks my heart that I did this to him.

"You scared the shit out of me." He says while walking over to me. He stares at me for a second before going in to hug me softly, not in the near body crushing like he always does. He hugs me as if he were to apply too much pressure I would break.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop worrying about me for a second. Listen, I don't have time before they realize that you're awake and they kick me out. I just don't want you to freak out but they might try to put you on a suicide watch and I wouldn't be able to see you for about 72 hours. I'm going to write my number on you because you are allowed to call me. You probably already know my number but just in case you get overwhelmed I'll write it for you. They're going to talk to you first to see if you need to stay." Even now when I've hurt him in probably the worst way possible, he's still taking care of me. I look at his face and see the stress from who knows how long he's been waiting for me written all over it.

"Colby—" I'm cut off by a nurse who walks in and tells Colby it's time to leave. I feel tears stream down my face. I can't cover my face or wipe my tears and now I have to let Colby see me like this again.

He said they wanted to talk. To evaluate me for now. I might be worse off if I had to stay here for 72 hours. When I saw Colby's face I instantly regretted what I did. The look on his face when he found me and the state that he was in, I instantly regretted my decision and I hated myself more for even doing it. I never wanted to hurt Colby. Somehow, at that moment, I thought that it would hurt Colby less if I left him a letter. As if a letter would make up for my lack of living. I would have given up on more than myself if I actually died. I would have given up on Colby, my friends, my education, everything I wanted for my life.

#colby #colby brock #colby fanfic #colby fan fic #colby fanfiction #colby fan fiction #colby brock fan fic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fan fiction #colby brock fanfiction

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poorreputation · 5 years

Text

SPN 1X01 Pilot Retrospective Meta

Tag list for old episodes meta! (let me know if you wanna be tagged):

@emblue-sparks @metafest @verobatto-angelxhunter @evvvissticante @dea-stiel @sudo-apt-get-destiel @wildligia (tumbler’s not letting me tag you, sorry)

Pre re-watch notes/things to touch on:

Comparing the Woman in White to John, Sam and Mary/hindsight notes.

S1 motivations vs. S14/15 endgame.

Episode Notes:

Written by: Eric Kripke

Directed by: David Nutter

A long post, so I will put it behind the cut.

Lawrence, Kansas

22 years ago

We begin our tale with Mary bringing Dean into Sam's nursery to say goodnight. John enters the room, and in a nice bit of short-hand, he's wearing a USMC (United States Marine Corps) shirt, showing John was a soldier.

There's a shot of Mary and John in a picture. We already know they're married, so why is it here?

Mary thinks it's John in the nursery, only to find him asleep in the living room in front of the TV. (again, a connection to John's past, he's fallen asleep watching a war movie)

Something that'll become a continuity issue, later in the show: Mary's many years of experience being a Hunter, only to not recognize the flickering of lights as a sign of trouble.

Of course, Mary's wearing a white gown, (white is usually seen as a pure color/ of purity, but in this instance a connection to the Woman in White/see Jess later)

Mary's dead, and everyone involved is scarred for life.

The look on John's face, as we finish the Lawrence sequence, is that of a broken man, who's seen something that will eat away at his mind.

Stanford University Present Day (2005)

Okay, the first image we see of Jess is her in a nurse's costume, white with red trimming. Jess also has medium length curly blond hair. Guys, she looks like Mary, especially in Mary's death scene (white gown, covered in blood).

We focus in on the picture of Mary and John for visual shorthand, confirming this is a grown-up Sam.

We establish Sam is "scary" smart, has aspirations of becoming a lawyer, and has a job interview on Monday.

Jess: "Knock 'em dead on Monday." laying it on thick, Kripke.

Sam: "What would I do without you?"

Jess: "Crash and burn."

*smooch*

Damn you, Kripke.

Night scene, and holy shit, why do Sam and Jess have so many plants? Why doesn't future Sam have plants in the bunker, you know, something low maintenance?

Dean, why the fuck can't you use the door? Or a phone?

From the get-go, Dean's cocky, suffers from eldest sibling syndrome, and is a shameless horn-dog.

Sam: "He's on a Miller time shift." See, when I first watched the pilot, years ago, I didn't realize this was Sam implying John was a drunk. These things would just fly over my head.

Sam wants to make a point of including Jess in the conversation, of being honest. And yet, the moment Dean says John is on a hunt and hasn't returned, that honesty goes right out the window. More on that later.

Sam and Dean's exposition dump in the hallway, a part of me feels it's an odd way to catch the audience up to speed, while the other part of me knows this is how families argue when they spend most of their time biting their tongues. Sam especially seems the type to mull over his thoughts, storing away comebacks for the perfect moment when they'll be most effective (like later in the episode). Also, it's been years since the brothers have seen each other (we're told later it's been at least 2 years since Dean bothered Sam), they're so icy towards one another.

Sam: "You think Mom would've wanted this for us?" we'd find this out later in S4, but, no. Funny enough, maybe if Mary shared her knowledge of Hunting, something more could've been done (foreshadowing).

Dean: "What're you gonna do? Just live some normal, apple pie life?" Dean, if you'd only taken your own advice, we could've avoided S6.

Sam, paraphrasing John: "If you're gonna go, stay gone." Well, that's only very emotionally manipulative.It does, however, remind me of the U.S. military’s views on those dishonorably discharged, and since John raised them as "warriors", it's not a stretch to think, in a time of crisis, John treated his sons as soldiers.

Dean: "I can't do this alone."

Sam: "Yes, you can."

Dean: "Yeah, well, I don't want to."

This exchange, this vulnerability from Dean, after his initial introduction of being a cocky asshole who hits on his brother's girlfriend, shows just how much of a facade Dean's attitude is. In the end, he's a kid scared of losing his Dad.

It's this vulnerability that convinces Sam to listen.

Come the fuck on, "I can never go home." after we establish Sam left John and Dean, left Hunting behind, and was told to never come back (home). KRIPKE. YOU'RE *not* SUBTLE.

2 years, Dean says, since they last talked. Either Sam entered college late, (20 rather than 18) or Sam and Dean kept in touch even after Sam and John's blow-out fight.

Again, Jess pries for more info, and Sam changes the subject. Nope, that’s not gonna bite him in the ass, at all.

Jericho, California

(insert biblical/wrestling reference here)

We meet monster fodder, I mean, some random dude, who tells his girlfriend Amy over the phone he can't see her that night. He slows down to a stop and picks up the Woman in White.

Anyway, another example of a young woman with curly, medium length hair in a white gown/dress. I mean, her house even looks a bit like John and Mary's old place.

We get a brief, blurry shot of the Woman in White and her kids. Sorry, but if you're familiar with the legend of her/La Llorona, it's easy to see where this is going.

Oh, and whatshisface is dead.

Chips and soda. Breakfast of champions.

Sam's being a real sassy bitch about how Dean and John get their funds. I get it, world-building for the audience, bit it shows just how passive aggressive Sam is in these early seasons; Dean's clearly playing moderator between Sam and an absent John.

Sam: "Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metalica? It's the greatest hits of mullet rock." Sam, it's not Dean's fault you have poor taste. Shut your cakehole.

Sam: "Sammy's a chubby 12 year old." or, it's what a big brother says to his infant sibling to calm him down, oh wait.

Monster bait's name is Troy. Yeah, I don't care.

Dean sassing the officer and Sam stomping Dean's foot. Yep, they're brothers. This interaction is where their chemistry really starts to shine through.

Amy and her friend are peak mid-2000's goths/emos, good lord.

Dean's "I told you so" smart-ass look as the friend shares the rumors in town, he's such an older sibling.

They... they never tell Amy what happened to her asshole boyfriend, huh? Well. Sucks for Amy.

Researching on a public library computer, fucking hell. (nothing wrong with that, I’ve worked in a public library, but they’re doing super-secret Hunter’s stuff in such a public place)

Have it paused on a photo of Constance Welch, the Woman in White, and the article mentions her husband's exact line of work; associate manager who works the graveyard shift at Frontier auto salvage. Gives me shades of Bobby, who also lost his wife under tragic circumstances.

A mother leaves her child unattended, comes back to check on them, tragedy strikes. Or, so the story goes.

Dean confronts Sam about living a life of willful ignorance, and even asks if Jess knows the truth. Sam makes it clear she doesn't and he intends it to stay that way, as Dean sarcastically quips, "That's healthy".

Really, the more I think about it, the more S6 feels like the inverse of S1; Dean tries to live a normal life, Sam comes stomping in to rain on his parade. Lisa is kept largely in the dark about Dean's past, and gets hurt because of it.

Dean: "You can pretend all you want, Sammy, but sooner or later, you're gonna have to face up to who you are."

Sam: "And who's that?"

Dean: "One of us."

Sam: "No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life."

Sam thinks Dean's just talking about Hunting, but Dean means more than that, he means family. One of us, Dad and me, a Hunter and a Winchester.

Sam: "Mom's not coming back." and so on about how he doesn’t even remember Mary, doesn’t share John’s obsession.

Dean: "No chick flick moments." Dean, dude, bro, you're the one who started this by breaking into Sam's place like a dramatic bitch, and then proceeded to give life/relationship advice. It's already a chick flick.

John's room being covered head-to-toe in case notes, only to come to the obvious conclusion it's the Woman in White. But, Sam said, because of the salt line, John was worried. Now, as far as I can remember, John was never a target of this spirit, so, I think he was paranoid about Yellow Eyes. After all, John had notes on devils/demons up, too, so maybe. I could be wrong.

There's something amusing about Sam and Dean's first duo Hunt, one without John, includes one of them getting arrested. Just, how rare that happens in the rest of the show, compared to how many laws they break daily.

Sam talks to Joseph Welch, who seems to wear the same clothes as Bobby. Also, Sam looks like a giant standing next to him.

Joseph lies to Sam's face about his and Constance's marriage, and it takes Sam a moment to work up the nerve to call him out on it. Or, it's Sam losing his temper. They're dealing with a murderous ghost, after all, and this guy wants to hide the truth.

Sam's done with lying witnesses, and now he's making fake calls to the cops. Gloves are OFF.

So, it's revealed John's purposefully leaving Sam and Dean clues, the journal, and the coordinates, but won't outright tell the truth.

Sam: "I'm not unfaithful. I've never been." See, Sam, that's only in the cheating department. You are, however, keeping Jess in the dark about dangerous stuff. Can any relationship with such big lies every be a faithful one?

Again, the imagery of the flickering lights. A standard in the show later for when a ghost's around, but considering all the visual parallels between the Woman in White and Mary, I think it's intentional.

That CGI of the ghosts vanishing was kinda shit, though. So is the sound of water swirling down a drain, I'm now just thinking of a toilet.

Dean: "I'll take you home." and there, in an episode where the ghost is afraid to go home and face the consequences of their actions, Sam too must go back to Jess.

Sam discovering Jess' body on the ceiling, as the room's engulfed in flames, never fails to give me chills. Hot damn.

Post Episode Notes:

While the pilot is a treasure trove of world building, plotting of character arcs, and chemistry between Jared and Jensen, it still doesn't make up for the fact it's bookended with 2 women getting fridged. Mary and Jess don't get to be characters, only fuel for man-pain, and argue with me all you want, but Mary's send-off in S14 is far superior to what she got in the pilot.

I remember seeing Kripke discuss how many drafts they went through while writing the pilot, and it feels like that at quite a few points. Like maybe the sheriff was to get more time, or Troy's father, who I believe is a cop, would've been more vital to the plot. And Amy, who'll spend who knows how many weeks and months putting up missing person posters for Troy.

I believe Kripke also said they'd considered killing John at the end, rather than Jess. I think, and this is pure speculation, the more they went into the lore for the Woman in White, the more they knew Jess had to die. I don't like it, wish they could've done it different, but it fits the story they wanted to tell.

The Woman in White, John, Mary and Sam, in hindsight

It's a retcon from S4, but if Mary was honest with John about her past as a Hunter, maybe they'd have a better chance with fighting Azazel. It's tragically paralleled to Sam not telling Jess about his own past, which may have prevented her death. And while you could say Heaven and Hell would still have their way, and shape Sam and Dean the way they want to, I'd like to think, given the chance, free will could prevail, And, look at how often keeping secrets is framed as one of the worst things the characters could do to each other?

Additionally, if John had been honest with Sam and Dean about what he wanted them to do, and what kind of danger they were really in, maybe Sam wouldn't have left Jess alone.

Thank you for reading this monstrosity of a meta, I hope you enjoyed/found it interesting!

#SPN #meta #S1 #1X01 #Pilot #Sam #Dean #Back when they were babies #good lord #writers #writing

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walriding · 5 years

Note

me about to go on a rant on your post about how miles writes vs how waylon writes and what that means in terms of characterization vs the fact i have never even seen a full playthrough of either game but i think waylon's notes are Just Neato

Listen I am literally always willing to rant about this shit and I encourage it in others so rant away any time!!! And I’m gonna use this an excuse to rant actually so buckle up we’re doing this.

The thing that always strikes me are the language differences between how they write. They both use pretty vivid descriptions, but Waylon consistently writes longer notes with more complex figurative language. Now I think some of that is a characterization thing — because Waylon strikes me as the kind of person who probably goes on ramble-y little tangents a lot — but the game also frames it as an effect of the Engine, too, because there’s a definite shift in Miles’ writing as he progresses. Miles’ notes start out as the workings of an actual article. He lists facts and background info for the asylum and Murkoff, notes what he’s seeing and experiencing, and adds in questions and prompts meant to provoke thought when he sits down to compile everything later. But after his encounter with Trager, starting with The Sound in the Machine, his notes become more disjointed trains of thought like Waylon’s notes than actual field notes. So I think in that way, their notes show both personality and the impact of what the Engine does to people.

But at the same time, I feel like a lot of their writing differences also stem from who their audience is. Waylon is writing to Lisa first and foremost. He wants her to know what he’s gone through in case he dies, but he also finds comfort and reassurance in ‘talking’ to her. Getting home to Lisa and the boys is what drives Waylon, what gets him to turn away from taking his own life to escape in multiple occasions. Waylon’s writing is meant to be externalized — he wants someone to find his notes and read them and understand what the fuck happened. Miles is, ironically, writing for himself. He’s the journalist, the one called in to break the Mount Massive story, yet he’s writing for himself. Not selfishly, but he’s taking notes. He’s not writing memoirs or banking on someone else getting the full picture from his notes — they’re for him to look back at later. Miles is to the point. He’s not about to waste time writing complex notes because he’s going to do that later. Compare that to Waylon, who doesn’t think he’s going to make it. He writes the wordy, deep notes because he expects they’ll be the only documentation of his last thoughts.

Miles expects to live and Waylon doesn’t. Miles thinks he’s going to have time to process and analyze and write more. Waylon thinks this is his last chance to communicate with his family.

However, that just makes it so much worse when Miles accepts that he is going to die? Waylon’s first note is him addressing the fact that he’s fucked. He’s going to die, Lisa’s not going to rest until she finds his corpse, and his notes and recordings are going to be the only piece of him that survives. Miles is determined to get out alive until the bitter end. Just compare “If he’s telling the truth, now I’ve got a way out. And a story to tell. He wants me to spread his gospel. I’ll tell the whole fucking world.” to “Whoever finds my corpse- trust no one and tell everyone.” Those notes were written only a couple minutes apart, and in that small span of time Miles realizes that he’s not going to be the one to tell this story. It takes him seeing the lab to accept that. Suddenly his record of the asylum is all that he has, is all that he’s been reduced to. He mentions the camera rather than the notes as the “evidence,” too, again implying that he really didn’t intend for them to be read (side note: the level of empathy expressed in the notes becomes all the more poignant when you consider that no one was meant to read them — he’s really just Like That™ even when no one is watching/listening). It’s interesting in a meta sort of way, too. We see through the camera, and it’s a pretty impartial view because Miles never speaks. His personality comes through entirely in his notes. In the same way, whoever found his documentation would have the unbiased view of his camera, with his character and attitude preserved in his notes.

Also, it’s always fucked me up that even when Miles is staring down death, he never once mentions wanting any particular person to know what happened to him. Waylon assumes Lisa will figure it out — Miles literally has no one. No one who will miss him, no one who will ask questions. No one worth mentioning in his last moments who he’d want to offer final sentiments to. He doesn’t bring up a single person who might look for him, not even family or friends. It’s fucked.

Anyway, I don’t know where this rant really went, but I love the personal touches Red Barrels put into the boys’ notes. I love that Miles is the optimistic one who’s ready to fight tooth and nail to escape just because he can’t die holding onto this kind of truth. I love that Waylon struggles with giving up but pushes on because of how much he loves his wife and kids. I hate (i.e. I love) that in spite of all that Miles dies and Waylon gets to live. And it just frustrates me that fandom so often flips them around. Neither one of them are shitty people by any means, but I don’t understand the reluctance to let Miles be sympathetic and thoughtful and literally willing to walk through hell for the sake of stopping injustice because that’s. Literally. How the game presents him — solely through 31 notes!!!

#(ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ (...ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴏɢ)) ;;; ᴏᴏᴄ #long post

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tngrayson · 5 years

Text

Once More, With Feeling - Ch1 - The Way I Used to Be

A/N: This took much longer to put out than I anticipated, especially considering I finished season 2 the day it released. Anywho...here you are! The sequel series to Break My Heart

Characters: Billy Russo x Reader

Word Count: 2000

Warnings: Angst

Your lazy Sunday morning with Billy, fresh from a long tour overseas, was drawing to a close as noon approached. You decided to linger in the shower for a little longer after Billy got out. While you enjoyed your ‘me time,’ he tied a towel around his waist and headed into the kitchen.

Billy had always been a coffee person, while you preferred your tea, so he poured some water in the machine for himself, and put on a kettle for you. As soon as he lifted the handle to run the water, the pipes creaked and the water, a cloudy grey, jetted out into the kettle. “Shit,” he exclaimed, remembering the faulty plumbing.

The shower stopped suddenly, making you pause to fiddle with the knobs on the wall. A second later, the water came back full force and ice cold. You couldn’t help the scream that slipped out.

“Sorry,” you heard Billy calling from outside.

“You need a new apartment,” you said, padding into the kitchen to wrap your arms around Billy, both of you in just your towels.

He laughed. “You’re one to talk. Your place is tiny. You call that an apartment?” he teased.

“My place is not tiny,” you defended, crossing your arms over your chest. “…it’s cozy.”

~~~~

The next weekend, you were helping Billy hunt for a new place. You had obsessed over looking at places online, while Billy was more eager to call some well-known realtors and make a few appointments.

After being led on tour after tour of apartments with ridiculously named floorplans, Billy took you to a building not too far from the space he was looking at renting for his new company. Most of the realtors had been nice enough, but this one took one look at you and Billy in your casual dress of jeans and sweatshirts and her attitude changed completely from how she sounded over the phone.

Rather than giving you a tour of the place, she opted to let you two take a self-guided tour—AKA wait in her car until you were done looking around.

“Well,” you said, writing off the realtor. “It’s not like you’d pick this place anyway.”

“Why’s that?” Billy asked, hanging his jacket on one of the hooks by the front door.

“Don’t get me wrong, this place is nice, but do you really need three bedrooms?”

“Course I do,” he said, pulling you into his arms. “Where else are our kids gonna sleep?”

“Oh, so we’re having kids now?”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed, kissing your lips. “The first four can share for a while, but we’d definitely have to upgrade in a few years when the others come along. I’d say this place is a little small for the family I want.”

“You really want that?” you asked.

“With you? More than anything,” he said kissing your knuckles, his tone suddenly serious.

There was a small silence between the two of you as you gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Come on, there’s plenty more of this place to see.” Billy wandered off into what was probably the master bedroom, while you stopped to admire the view from the kitchen. Just past the island was an open living and dining area. The wall was covered from top to bottom in sliding glass doors that let out onto a quaint balcony that overlooked the city.

For a moment you let yourself imagine living here with Billy and your children as they grew up. Frank’s parents practically raised you, and you loved Maria, Frank Jr., and Lisa endlessly, but you still knew the emptiness and loss of having no family. You never forgot those feelings from after your parents were killed. They stuck with you; they were why you clung to the Castles in the first place. You never wanted to feel that loss again.

You knew Billy felt similarly; growing up in group home after group home with no real family for more than a couple years. You both longed for families of your own. Billy’s excited voice pulled you from your thoughts.

“Babe!”

You hurried into the master bedroom and through to the ensuite bathroom. Billy was relaxing in the oversized bathtub, one leg draped over the edge as he invited you to join him.

“I think I like this place,” he said after a while, eyeing you in the oddly placed mirrors that lined the skylight above the bathtub.

“Me too. Besides, it’s a good twenty minutes closer to my place.”

Billy hummed, shifting a little, “I figure this place is big enough for both of us,” he said, leaving the statement open.

“Oh,” you thought out loud. “I suppose it is—oh! Are you…wait, really?”

Less than 24 hours later, Billy was signing the lease. He also talked the realtor into letting him pay a little extra to keep most of the furnishings.

~~~

The boys brought up boxes while you and Maria unpacked everything.

“You know,” she started, “This would be a nice room for Frankie and Lisa to stay when you two babysit..”

“As much as we love the kids, Maria, I think you’re gonna have to fight Billy on that one. Those rooms are where our first four children are supposed to sleep—at least until we have more than that,” you said with a wink.

“He said that?”

You nodded, taking the “Living Room” box from Maria.

“Is that what you want?”

“I’d like a few—eventually.”

Just then, Frank and Billy came through the door with the last of the big items from the moving truck.

“Thank you, Frank,” you said, handing cold beers to him and Billy after they set down the box.

“Top floor, huh?” he said nearly out of breath, knocking Billy on the shoulder.

Billy shrugged. “Only the best for my girl,” he said eyeing you as he took a swig of the cold beer. “Besides, elevator worked yesterday.”

~~~

Billy’s mind was fuzzy. At first, the mornings in the hospital were easier. He would remember things about himself and his life little by little, but after so long, things started to even out. The memories came slower and slower until it seemed like there was nothing else left. When he really tried, his mind was plagued by nightmares. Any other memories were hidden behind gruesome visions of skulls and broken glass.

When he asked, no one would tell him about you or Frank; at least, they wouldn’t directly answer the questions he was asking. He couldn’t tell if they didn’t know, or if they just didn’t want to say for his sake. Beyond the confusion, he was hurt. He’d been in a coma for six months, confined to the hospital with brain trauma for six more months after that, and he hadn’t heard from either of you. They told him you visited once after the surgery, but the only other visitor he’d had since was the drunk FBI agent who came to taunt him nearly every day, even after the formal complaints. Who the hell was she?

Taking the doctor hostage and escaping the hospital had been an afterthought. He didn’t plan for that, and once he’d started, he didn’t stop—couldn’t stop. He knew what he needed was beyond the confines of the hospital. When he’d got on the bus, and after, when he ended up walking, he didn’t know where he was going, but he’d kept on all day until he was in front of a luxury apartment building. The place was familiar, but he couldn’t remember why.

Punching in the door code had come second nature to him. He let himself run on auto; walking towards the elevators and going up to the top floor. He found himself hesitating in front of the door. When he knocked, there was no answer. Whoever lived there probably wasn’t home. Before he realized it, he was fishing in his pockets for something to break in with. Something was telling him that he had to get inside of that apartment.

Finally, he’d gotten the knob to turn. When he pushed the door open, he let out an audible gasp. He’d definitely been here before.

Before he knew it, he was walking through the apartment. The apartment though lived in and clearly elegant felt lonely. There was a room on the opposing wall, but he avoided it, taking to the two rooms on the side of the apartment he was on. The first room had been an unused spare. The bed inside was made, but there had been time for dust to start collecting on some of the surfaces since the last use. He closed the door quietly and went on to the next room.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. It was different from the rest of the apartment. There was a hint of cologne clinging to the air in the room; trapped in there for who knows how long. He couldn’t help but think that he liked it. There were boxes on the floor and on the desk. He walked over to the open closet and ran his fingers across the sleeves of the many tailored suits that were hung there so neatly. Dress shoes lined the floor, and probably fifty ties hung from a rack on the wall.

Billy took a deep breath in and thought to himself, ‘what are you doing here? Why’d you break into this rich asshole’s apartment?’

He made to leave, but the corner of a picture frame peeking out of a box caught his attention. He stepped toward the desk to pick up the frame. The picture was of the both of you together. The Castles were in the photo too. Frank and Maria were standing with the kids between them while the two of you clung to each other.

He put the frame down, trading it for a bundle of loose photos in the box. Billy standing with Frank; one’s arm over the other’s shoulder. Billy in the park with Lisa and Frank Jr. Maria kissing Billy’s cheek. His heart raced as he tried to focus on the memories that accompanied each picture as he shuffled through them. Each memory clung desperately to the edges of his mind, but there was that damned skull, and it took everything he had to push past and try to remember.

Soon enough, it was all too much for him. He dropped the stack to clutch the sides of his head, sending the photos scattering across the floor. He took deep breaths to calm himself. When he opened his eyes again, clearing the frustrated tears that were forming, he spotted a photo of something he remembered clearly. The second time he proposed to you. The first time you hadn’t given him an answer for three days. Eventually, you turned him down and he tried again a year later.

He bent to pick it up. He was down on one knee holding a black ring box out to you in the middle of a frozen lake. White snow covered the entire landscape as far as the eye could see. Your cheeks were red in the harsh weather, and you both had scarves wrapped around your necks. Billy could practically feel the chill sinking into his bones as he looked at the picture. Frank and Maria had been there, of course, but they kept their distance, ready to snap the photo as soon as the moment came.

Billy had lost a lot of time with this injury; lost a lot of feelings and moments, but he remembered this day with you so clearly. The moment was soured as he was brought back to his old thoughts though. Why hadn’t you been there for him in the hospital? He loved you; knew you loved him. What could have happened to keep you away?

Billy put the picture in his back pocket and left to investigate the last room in the apartment. He turned the knob, slowly opening the door, and there you were; sound asleep in the bed in front of him.

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lightsandlostbells · 5 years

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Skam France season 3, episode 8 reaction

Not gonna lie, I kept thinking “they must taste like ham” during the love-making scene

Episode 8

Clip 1 - Morning after

Lucas wakes up, still with splotches of paint on his body. I guess he washed off some of the paint, but not that well? I have so many questions about how they got home, like did they manage to get into the locker room to take a shower before leaving the school, or did they just go home covered in paint?

Anyway, Lucas is alone and checks his phone. His father says their mom wants to go to mass with them next week, so there’s your O Helga Natt clip. I’m trying to think about the religious references in this season. They’ve definitely been carrying through with Lucas’ mom being religious; I’m not sure there has been more in the way of religious symbolism? Luke is a Biblical figure but I’m not sure there’s any connecting with Lucas’ character the way Isak was connected to Biblical Isaac through the 21:21 reference. Not that it means O Helga Natt shouldn’t happen at a church, just that I think you could potentially set the scene somewhere else that’s more in line with what symbolism there is in this season (light and dark).

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. Was he on the couch???? In the living room??? Wh- why? So they went back to Lucas’ placed and crashed, covered in paint and seemingly naked (since Lucas is shown putting on his boxers), on the sofa in his living room? At the apartment where he has three other roommates coming and going? The FUCK.

Doesn’t Eliott live by himself? I thought someone involved with the show said that. Why did they not go to his place where they can be alone, rather than going to Lucas’ where they have to crash on the fucking couch? Even if Eliott does live with his parents or whoever, presumably he has a bedroom with, you know, a door.

I guess after you fuck in public at your school when there are people around, cuddling naked together in your living room where your roommates might see is no big deal at all. Get over it, prudes.

This is one of those times when I think Skam France still sticks to the original script too much, like obviously this part is here because Isak woke up alone after Even spent the night and heard Even in the kitchen. Lucas’ living situation (aka living on his goddamn couch) doesn’t really accommodate for that without some weirdness. So they could have revised this scene a bit - either send them to Eliott’s place rather than Lucas’, or have Lucas actually get his bedroom back by now (why is he still on the couch anyway????) or just have them clothed. Or you could have something where Eliott didn’t sleep over, and Lucas wakes up on the couch smiling about the previous day, except then he hears Eliott’s voice in the kitchen. Surprise! Eliott came over early to surprise Lucas with breakfast, and Manon let him in. And it could be shown as a sign of his mania, maybe, like it’s cute but Eliott came over way too early with way too many ingredients and it’s just a little too intense, it feels off.

Anyway, Lucas hears giggling from the kitchen, and of course Eliott is cooking and talking to the roommates. He’s making a fennel and cinnamon omelette. He kisses Lucas and Mika and Manon exchange a proud look. No more interventions are necessary.

Eliott also wants to make blueberry bacon muffins and Manon is all WTF about it, because she is lucky enough to live in a country where people apparently weren’t putting bacon in every single food product for a few years.

Mika and Manon pretend they didn’t hear anything from Eliott and Lucas when they came in, but Lisa enters and is like, yes, I did hear you fucking. So they were for real fucking on the couch? I’m just imagining like, Manon wanting a glass of water last night but being unable to leave her bedroom, just waiting for the moans to stop.

Lisa tells Manon to give her room to Lucas since he has a sex life and Manon doesn’t. Cold, but accurate, and also, Manon should give her room back since it’s not hers in the first place and Lucas was clearly distraught over it in the last episode. C’mon. At least take turns.

When the roommates are gone, Lucas says he thought Eliott left this morning (or like … one minute ago), like he did with Lucille. We get this conversation with a big gap between them as Lucas talks about Eliott making out with Lucille at Chloé’s party. Eliott closes the gap and takes Lucas’ face in his hands when he says that Lucille knows him well and made him believe they had to get back together, and Lucas wasn’t ready. Eliott was afraid Lucas wouldn’t want anything serious, Lucas says he does, and Eliott says good, because he’s not going anywhere right now. They kiss.

Eliott comes across as rather self-assured here. Even seemed very vulnerable when Isak called him on the situation with Sonja, and his attitude got very weird and harsh. He wasn’t even looking Isak in the eye as he complained about her; he only looked back when he was asking Isak to understand what he meant. Part of the scene felt very, very fragile for both of them. By contrast, while Lucas here seems uncertain, Eliott seems pretty confident. Although he’s telling Lucas about something that made him uncertain at the time, in the moment he seems to have gotten over it. Either that or he’s completely burying his fears, because I don’t see a hint of doubt or defensiveness.

Also, in the original scene, there were hints that Even was manic. I guessed it from my first viewing, watching the scene in unsubtitled Norwegian, just based off Even’s energy and emotional shifts, and then with the subs we could see how he got distracted, his mind was racing a bit. I didn’t really feel like they were signaling Eliott was manic yet, other than the lines about him going to the fridge and wanting to bake everything. Eliott just seems comfortable in what’s happening. (I’m not blaming Maxence for this, I think his acting is pretty solid, honestly.)

They obviously did not do their version of the Gabrielle lip-syncing, and while I don’t mind if they choose not to, for time constraints or not wanting to copy OG or just not feeling it for the characters, I can’t help but feel a bit bereft that I did not see more of Eliott’s awkward EDM dancing.

Clip 2 - Ass = art

I am honest to God laughing that they hyped up that previous mural as the ugliest shit ever, and then Lucas and Eliott literally threw some paint over it and it’s suddenly acceptable. Oh my God. Different strokes for different folks and all, but you can still see the original goddamn mural!!! It’s not even totally covered up!!!

Plot twist: whoever originally painted that mural in like the ‘90s or whatever also did it while having sex against the wall. And the plucky artists who will paint over Lucas and Eliott’s mural in like 2034 will be doing it as part of an orgy. Why even bother having a mattress when you have a paint-splattered wall to hump against?

I think it’d be a pretty display if it it were not half-assed. It’s not even covering all of the existing mural. They should’ve whole-assed it. Much like they whole-assed everything else on Friday.

Lucas is like, sorry we didn’t go with what was planned. Was there a plan? Because it absolutely came across like the boys just showed up to paint whatever image popped into their heads.

OH MY GOD THERE WAS AN ACTUAL ASS PRINT ON THE WALL

AND THEY DON’T EVEN MAKE UP A LIE ABOUT IT

Eliott’s like, Sorry about that! And he and Lucas kiss. Oh my God, this is ridiculous. I’m happy for your love and all but I legit cringed at that part, it’s too much. I guess if I think about it like how Even said it was good the boys left when Even showed up at Isak’s house, it’s the same thing? Except that’s a lot vaguer than like, yep, we left ass prints on the wall, our butt cheeks were used as sponges. I suppose it’s odd that everyone’s just like ... completely un-weirded out by this admission. (🐭🐭🐭)

Daphne is happy because the common room was decorated by a gay couple, so that made it cool, and objectively that’s not a great thing to say but I confess it make me laugh, because what a Daphne thought. Imane is like, why do we let it slide when Daphne says stuff like that? Good question. I guess because Daphne’s enthusiasm is pretty charming if you just tune out her words themselves.

Eliott is like, we gave it body and soul … you sure did give it your body, as Daphne observes.

Imane says she’s happy for Eliott and Daphne asks if Imane and Eliott know each other. They smile at each other. Precious. So we’re getting that storyline in S4, let’s hope they do a decent job with it. It could be improved.

Lucas gets a text from his dad about going to mass. Dad guilts him, telling him to think of his mother. Lucas texts back that he’ll go to mass with his boyfriend. We don’t get an answer immediately from the dad, like with Isak; Lucas just tells him and looks over to his boyfriend smiling and laughing with the girls, like he doesn’t care what his dad says in that moment, he’s just going to enjoy being happy with Eliott. He gives Eliott a back hug, it’s very sweet.

Clip 3 - Boy squad = cheerleaders

Basile is talking about sending a song to a girl, presumably Daphne, because this is hell. She didn’t reply. Dude. Take the fucking hint.

I know I keep complaining about this a million times per post, but I keep being annoyed at Skam France for adding yet another no-means-yes romance where a girl’s stated disinterest is continually ignored by a guy. We already had Noorhelm/Marles. And Vilde/Magnus, whatever you think of them, didn’t have this crap tainting their courtship.

The boys run into Eliott who looks happy. Lucas proudly introduces Eliott as his boyfriend, without any insecurity, and the boys erupt in cheers like this is one of those videos where everyone’s watching as a kid is opening his email and learning he got accepted to Harvard (🐭🐭🐭). I mean, it is cute that the boys react so positively! I don’t want to discourage straight boys cheering on their gay friend getting a boyfriend. Go wild, throw some confetti, bake a cake.

Basile says Lucas made the boys bolt on Friday and is upset he didn’t get to paint. I feel like Basile’s “misunderstood genius” left uninterrupted would definitely have resulted in several big-tittied anime girls on that wall. The boys invite Eliott to the park on Wednesday. Eliott agrees to go even though Lucas points out he has class then. I guess maybe that’s a sign of Eliott being manic? Maybe? Like he doesn’t care about school and is being reckless?

Basile makes an incest joke. Not his first in the season.

The boys really do seem cute running away, I love Arthur’s moves! But again, I am never letting that “it’s not Disneyland” comment go, because everything is so shiny-happy. It’s not just positive in a realistic way, it’s that song that from The Lego Movie. With Isak, he was still shy after he came out to his friends because you know, he was a human being and turning off internalized homophobia wasn’t like flicking a light switch. He got more comfortable over time. And the boys were very excited to meet Even but in a chill, non-OTT way (even Magnus).

With content like this, I do think it is valuable to show exceedingly positive social support for a gay teenager coming out and getting a boyfriend, like I do feel a little bad having any nitpicks about this. Likewise, I hate to have any reservations about Lucas getting so totally open and affectionate with Eliott so fast, because this is the end goal, obviously, we want to see Lucas happy and thriving and out and proud. You could make the argument that now he knows his friends accept him, he can let go of his insecurities in full (I don’t know how I feel about that because I don’t think Lucas’ problem was solely about whether his friends would accept him, for instance the Pride scene was more about internalized homophobia). And I do think they wanted to make Lucas as happy as possible this week before bringing him down at the end of the episode, for the impact. But combined with stuff like treating his outing as no big deal, and cleaning house last week and putting the Chloé and Imane clips in that episode so we got those conflicts and plot threads out of the way, and then how Lucas is so 100% okay with announcing Eliott as his boyfriend and joking about their sex life and kissing him and embracing him in public, all of this right off the bat ... to me it almost feels like they wanted to skip over the inner conflict, any hesitation or lingering insecurities, and just get straight to the cuddly ship content. And I mean, I approve of cuddly ship content! It just seems a little pat? You can make something idealistic and realistic. I guess Skam resolved some conflicts easily, too, but I felt like Isak’s character development was gradual and earned, whereas Lucas’ lacks some nuance here.

Lucas gets a phone call and it’s from Lucille. I find it kinda weird we didn’t even hear her voice because that would be Lucas’ POV in this important moment. Eliott talks to Lucille and it doesn’t really seem like… alarming like it did with Even, that rapid change in mood. He just sounds annoyed that she’s calling Lucas and he told her not to.

Lucas asks why Lucille called, Eliott is like IDK, to bullshit you. Which honestly, seems like a reasonable enough response? I don’t get why Lucas looks at Eliott like Eliott is the one bullshitting him. It’s not nice but Eliott’s ex calling Lucas just to harass him or tell him to stay away is not a thing that’s all that unusual, it happens. Even was a lot harsher in attitude and weirder in what he said (”she doesn’t like people who live free and genuine”). Anyway, then Eliott says Lucille can’t control him (Eliott) anymore and is trying to go through Lucas. Eliott kisses Lucas, plays with his hair (which seems to be their Thing, which is adorable), kisses him again, leaves, comes back for another kiss. He pulls an Even and walks off backwards. Lucas blows him a kiss after he’s gone. Well, that’s the cutest thing I’ve seen from Lucas so far, and very endearing.

Clip 4 - Het drama? In my S3? It’s more likely than you think

Everyone, both boy and girl squads are having a picnic. There’s a cool effect where someone wipes away the time card as they walk through the frame, I don’t remember seeing anything like that before on Skam France or any other remake. Stuff like that is just a fun way to play with the format.

Is that the same lake as the one in the first clip of the season? Would be nice to call back, since Lucas was feeling detached back then, and now he’s surrounded by friends and literally lying in his man’s arms. Speaking of, Lucas and Eliott are a little ways off from everyone else, and like I said, Lucas is being cozy in Eliott’s arms. They talk about doing something this weekend; Eliott mentions that Lisa blacklisted him from the flatshare and I DO NOT BLAME HER after what happened on that couch. Although I guess you could say the other flatmates deserve it after relegating Lucas to the sofa.

Eliott mentions his parents will be there that weekend. Wait, so I thought he lived alone? Didn’t someone involved with the show say that? Guess I was wrong. Or are his parents just coming to visit? Anyway, obviously this is setup for them getting a hotel room or whatever their version is.

Okay: absolutely fucking ridiculous that this 4-minute clip features less than a minute actually focused on Lucas’ POV, in Lucas’ season. At the end of the season? Sure, absolutely, we’re wrapping up the season’s storylines and giving everyone some closure and/or setup for the next season. Switching POVs is perfectly fine then. But in the middle of the season??? What’s more - in the middle of episode 8??????? The end of episode 8 is a hugely important turn of the story. It twists everything we know about the Even character on its head, it’s an intense scene, even frightening. It should have us looking back, noticing the signs we didn’t know were there on first viewing. This is one of the worst times they could cut for an interlude about everyone else - let alone for crappy het romance drama.

They could’ve used these three minutes to hint at Eliott’s mania! Or put in some content about Lucas’ parents, especially with Lucas’ mom since he’s going to come out to her soon! You can even keep the picnic with everyone else, just have Eliott doing or saying something that in retrospect is a big-ass pile of foreshadowing. Considering this week has been very light on those hints so far, this would have been a perfect opportunity. At the very least, if you need that mandatory girl squad content, we could have seen all this het romance through Lucas’ eyes, like he’s not even in the scene with these people, really? It’s not like he’s watching or listening to them, he and Eliott are in their own little bubble. So just stay in the bubble with them, or let others into their bubble, or don’t have them in the bubble - they can be cuddling closer to everyone else and interacting with them.

Keep in mind that there was no French “5 fine frøkner” either, lmao. They cut that out and we got this scene instead. And like I said, I’m totally fine with the kitchen sing-along not being there, but if what we get instead is shit that has nothing to do with Lucas and isn’t even from his POV, to focus on a bunch of (terrible) m/f pairings ... then I’m going to get exasperated.

Basile worms in between Emma and Daphne, like legit shoves Emma to the side. Daphne is reading a book. Basile tries to make small talk, Daphne ignores him (as she well should) and talks to Emma over him. Basile asks her out for coffee, Daphne is like, I’m studying. With a respectful human being, the conversation would end here. It’s appalling to me that even these little moments are chock full of Basile’s entitlement! Daphne says she’s reading, so either a) she is genuinely trying to enjoy her book or get some homework done or b) she just really doesn’t want to talk to Basile or c) both but IN ANY CASE he needs to get the fucking picture, she is not interested in continuing this conversation. I had to vent after I saw this scene because I’m just astonished by how thoroughly awful this relationship has been depicted, like they are hitting ALL the typical entitled dude moments.

Anyway, welcome to hell. Arthur gives Basile the signal to keep going (and Arthur’s on my shit list, too, for enabling this behavior - like lol, here’s toxic masculinity for you). Basile asks if she heard the song he sent her. Daphne is like … the song with the deeply inappropriate lyrics? So not only is he continuing to bother her when she wants to be left alone, but the song he sent he was overly sexual? GEE WHY WOULD ANYONE THINK THIS IS HARASSMENT.

Arthur and Yann chide Basile for sending such a forward song, Yann told him to be less upfront so Daphne would want him. Yann is on my shit list, too! Stop encouraging this creepy behavior! This is like a textbook study of how guys enforce toxic masculinity, for real, because Arthur and Yann know full well that Daphne has said no a million times, she said no again 10 seconds ago while the boys were right there, and yet that’s not enough for them, either. They’re not telling Basile to back off.

Basile is like, what’s the point, no one wants me, and gets up and walks away. Lol, so this shit is about Basile’s poor feelings. Not Daphne’s, not how she felt when Basile was trying to hump her on the dance floor or never the shutting the fuck up about how he wants her. Basile being sad because he did a creepy thing and it wasn’t well-received. Of course. (I seriously think you could write that moment of him saying no one wants him in a way that’s poignant and sympathetic, but you have to build it up in a way where we can feel sorry for him without caveats. If you wanted me to feel sorry for him, don’t write him as persistently going after a girl who has said she’s not interested!)

Yann and Arthur talk to Daphne and are like, he probably didn’t even read the lyrics! Er, not Daphne’s fucking fault that Basile was lazy. The song was titled “May she love me.” The boys are like, how cute! OF FUCKING COURSE Daphne smiles a little after that as she looks at Basile walking off. The boys encourage Daphne to give him a chance. OF FUCKING COURSE men are telling a woman to give a poor guy a chance after she’s already said no over and over again.

Did anyone realize this is some Nice Guy nonsense, too? That Basile, he’s really a decent guy! He’s so sweet and nice with his well-intentioned song choice! So why doesn’t Daphne give him a chance, hmm? I mean Basile is such a Nice Guy and yet no one will love him.

I’m sorry I cannot stop talking about this but it is astonishing how much crap they have packed into every goddamn scene of this nonsense. This is a man’s fantasy, this is a woman’s nightmare. Actually, no, - it’s women’s reality, because it happens often enough that men don’t give a shit about our boundaries and our rejections (however firm or polite) that this is a whole subset of feminist discourse, that we have terms like Nice Guy because these attitudes are so prevalent they merit a common phrase, that almost every woman has stories about some dude who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Manon’s hat

That’s the comment, Manon’s fucking hat

The other girls are messing with Romain about period blood, heh. Manon goes after Emma when Emma walks off. (We get treated to yet more dialogue from Yann and Arthur trying to persuade Daphne to give Basile a chance, siiiiiiigh. Let the girl read her book!) Emma is bummed because Raptor Alex didn’t respond to Emma’s invitation and he’s seeing another girl tonight. Emma also slept with another guy, Manon is impressed by how she can do that. But Emma said it sucked with that other guy and that with Alex the sex was good, it was just that when he opened his mouth that she was turned off. Lmao, Emma, some things just aren’t meant to be that serious? He’s good in bed but he’s not that interesting of a person. It’s fine. Either keep your FWB thing going or find someone you can bang while also having stimulating conversations or whatever.

Emma says Manon and Alex have more to talk about than she and Alex, and that she saw them the other day. Talking about Charles, obviously. Emma lets on that she knows something is wrong with Manon, and she’s waiting for Manon to talk about it. This scene’s a lot like the talk between Yann and Lucas in episode 5, except somehow I don’t think Emma is going to walk away once Manon opens up.

Manon says it’s complicated with Charles and she doesn’t know if he’s coming back. Emma says she’ll wait for Manon to open up. Manon gets teary. Apart from the fact that this is not in Lucas’ POV, and that this is about crappy straight pairings, on its own this is a really nice interaction between the two of them.

But can we talk about how absolutely awful the het pairings on this show are? We have Manon/Charles with their ramped-up alpha male crap in S2 and then what he did to Manon in London, which was despicable. We have Emma/Alex, who are functional as fuckbuddies but have no real intellectual or emotional connection (fine for what it is, but don’t tell me this is supposed to be a real romance). We have Alex/Romain, the bi girl with the boyfriend who’s fetishizing her and asking her for a threesome the minute after she comes out to him, basically. She seems done with him already, like she’s just dating him out of habit now. And we have Basile/Daphne, at the very bottom of the trash heap. I want Imane to have a love interest who’s genuinely great and who deserves her, but seriously, the bar is so low that French Yousef could basically lie on the ground and roll over it.

Clip 5 - Boat bangin’

Eliott leads Lucas to his surprise at the docks. There’s some cute banter with them; they do have nice chemistry when they’re directed well and allowed to be free with each other (when it’s been off I chalk that up to scenes being rushed more than the actors, but it hasn’t been often). Missed opportunity to do something interesting with POV, though? The boat and the dock are shown immediately, but since Eliott is covering Lucas’ eyes, they could replicate the sense of surprise by not showing the boat right away, just have a closeup on Lucas and Eliott until Eliott tells him to look, so we see the reveal when he does.

Eliott shows Lucas that they’re on a boat and Lucas is stunned and happy. He asks how Eliott paid for the boat and Eliott just blows off that question and swoops in for a kiss, and I mean, when a face that pretty is that happy, are you going to question it? Maxence does seem to be doing a nice job with the manic signs here; he’s just a little elevated and giddy, and it could certainly just be excitement to be alone with his new boyfriend, but it also registers as slightly higher than Eliott’s usual range to me.

Eliott yells about his hot boyfriend to the water and he and Lucas goof around, it’s very cute. Lucas says no one has ever done anything like this for him. Awwww. But also, you understand why he’s letting the question of how Eliott paid for the boat slide. He’s just thrilled to be with him and touched by the grand gesture.

Inside the boat, Eliott pours champagne for him and Lucas. It’s not real champagne, as it turns out. I do like how this scene is shot, I don’t like a lot of Skam France’s directing but this is working for me. The scene on the deck was beautiful like a romantic movie scene, like it’s supposed to feel for Lucas, a combination of light and dark. But now the darkness inside the boat feels a little more stifling, in my opinion. I like that we see them from the side, considering each other.

Eliott tells Lucas to try to eat some Italian ham, and I do like how Lucas is playacting like they’re living it up and being fancy. It’s a good thing because there is no fucking way on this planet that eating that ham is a sexy move. It is the opposite of sexy. Eliott snatches ham from Lucas. Even the literal male model cannot make eating ham look sexy. Lucas describes the ham in sensual detail. Lucas says that it’s so good, you’d have thought Eliott cooked it. Eliott laughs and there’s a long look, which gets kind of intense? There’s something lingering in the air. I guess I was wrong, because these two seem immensely aroused by eating ham. Okay. No judgment. Glad you two found each other.

Eliott lights a cigarette, and like smoking kills and all, but objectively way sexier than eating ham. He shotguns with Lucas like Lucas did with Chloé in episode 1, except Eliott is way more skilled at it and obviously this is way sexier/more fulfilling to Lucas. Lucas is ready to fuuuuuuuuck.

They smile at each other, very fond of each other, in love, and then we cut to the sex scene. To Skam France’s credit: they’re not shy or coy about showing the gay intimacy. The actors seem to be pretty naked. Stuff happens.

I personally don’t find this kind of sex scene terribly sexy, because the mechanics of bodies are less interesting to me than the characters’ emotions during the scene, usually (unless there’s something really unusual or notable going on, lol). The Evak hotel clip happened to be the exact kind of TV/movie sex scene I like: more suggestive than explicit, more focused on their faces and their expressions. With Lucas and Eliott, I give massive props to the actors for going this far with each other, and they’re not shy or uncomfortable, but I also wish we saw more of their expressions so this scene felt like them and not any two bodies going at it? But anyway, again, not a flaw of the scene, just a personal preference.

Anyway, in the afterglow, Lucas looks totally fucked into contentment and says he wants to live his life on the barge. Eliott says he does too and starts talking about renting it for the wedding and getting lots of ham and crisps, ONLY ham and crisps for their wedding. Lucas thinks that sounds like a disappointing wedding menu. Eliott starts eagerly rambling about how their wedding will be so great that everyone will only want ham and crisps at their weddings and caterers will go out of business and somehow Trump is involved because ham isn’t enough of a boner killer, we gotta have Trump mentioned, too. Lucas is kinda amused, with a trace of “huh.”

He talks more about the Ham Cold War and going off on a barge and the sound effect from the Skam hotel clip happens, or at least there’s this low rumbling like it might almost be the motor or mechanics of the boat? Whatever it is, it’s ominous, it signifies this conversation getting less goofy and idealistic, more like reality crashing on Lucas as he realizes something’s off about Eliott.

I like how they shot Eliott in this scene. He’s facing that camera and we’re very close to him, so it adds to the intensity of what he’s saying. The editing is also slightly choppy, some cuts between what Eliott is saying, it’s fractured and disjointed like the thoughts in his head, harder to follow.

Eliott just keeps going with this story, like he’s writing a novel in his head involving Trump and making friends with a drug lord and having to deliver weed via boat globally. Like, the kind of thing that could be just messing around, inventing a funny story, except for intense Eliott is about it. It’s making him crack up, he can’t stop laughing. And he doesn’t notice (or care) that Lucas isn’t really following or participating in this story, Eliott is off on his own adventure.

Lucas is just like … wow. Now confused. Either Eliott is drunk as fuck or there’s something really strange happening.

Eliott lies beside Lucas and asks about the Eliotts and Lucases in parallel universes. Then he says they should die tonight. RECORD SCRATCH. Lucas is taken aback to say the least. Why would Eliott say that? Eliott kisses Lucas on the forehead and says he’s kidding. He snuggles up to Lucas and Lucas is bothered. I mean, yeah, who wouldn’t be after your boyfriend casually suggests a double suicide? This ain’t Romeo + Juliet. (Although honestly, I feel like this might be more in line with Even’s characterization, since he’s the one who thinks “the only way to have something forever is by losing it” which would go along with the idea of dying at one’s peak, and he’s also the one making references to death or suicide throughout S3. Eliott doesn’t really talk about death or suicide, as far as I can remember?)

Clip 6 - Ship sinking

It’s later, Lucas is sleeping. He wakes up and Eliott is sitting by the side of the bed watching him. If you didn’t know the twist, you might think Eliott lured Lucas out to this boat to murder him. And here I thought Lucas was the one with the serial killer vibe. Lucas asks if he ever sleeps. Er, have we gotten a ton of hints that Eliott doesn’t sleep? I mean thinking about it, there was no reason for Eliott to be asleep in the cuddle scene in episode 5, because their make-out was in the middle of the day. Not unusual for him to stay awake. Did he say something in the kitchen scene that implied he hadn’t slept? We also didn’t get any middle of the night texts, as with Even. But Eliott says he can’t sleep with someone this hot in the bed. He sounds deadly somber when he says it, though. Lucas smiles and goes back to sleep.

Cut to later. Somewhat blurry lens because Lucas is drowsy and it represents his hazy state of mind. Eliott is naked and lacing up his sneakers. He says he’s going for a swim. Bare ass. Lucas is about to fall back asleep when he’s like … wait a second. He gets dressed, runs around the boat looking for Eliott and calling his name.

Was there a splash? I didn’t hear one. Better if there wasn’t a splash, but then you have no idea where Eliott is. And for Lucas, hearing that whole thing about “let’s die tonight” is going to make him panic even more.

Lucas is yelling and in tears, he calls Lucille. Axel does a nice job here. There’s the sound of police/ambulance/whatever those sirens are in the background, so did they find Eliott? Or are they just thematic at the moment? (The sirens were in the original Skam scene, too.) Lucas asks Lucille to come. Lucas screams and freaks out, he’s shaking.

Lucille shows up on the boat and Lucas tells her what happened. He;s more angry and upset and spitting than Isak, which makes sense with Lucas’ temper. But he’s also unraveling and in tears. Lucas describes how Eliott said he was going for a swim, and he doesn’t think Eliott jumped, but he was naked.

Lucille says they have to hope the cops find him. When Lucas says he doesn’t understand, Lucille screams at him that Eliott is bipolar and broke into the barge. Lucas is like … he said he rented it. Lucille is like, for fuck’s sake, how do you think he paid for it? I dont know, is it totally out of the question Eliott has rich parents who give him a sizable allowance? I assumed Even just charged way too fucking much for that hotel suite or that he wiped out his savings or something, and Eliott could’ve done something similar. Though granted, I don’t know how much a weekend in a French barge costs. Anyway, I guess the point is that Lucas was so wrapped up in the fantasy that he didn’t bother to ask for further details, which is true.

Lucille asks if they smoked, pissed a hell. Lucas says just a little. Lucille says it makes Eliott sick and is bad for him. I mean, as I said about the Skam scene -that’s not Lucas’/Isak’s fault, that’s on Eliott/Even to know what he can and can’t do.

The way they lit and framed Lucille in this scene makes her seem kinda villainous, tbh. Or at least more dominant - it appears like she’s literally looking down at Lucas. I mean, she is very tall, heh.

Lucille gets a call, they’ve found Eliott. Lucas questions if they should call his parents, Lucille is like YES they should, obviously, he was naked in the street after he broke into a barge and he was smoking weed. I cannot disagree with Lucille on this.

Lucas wants to go with Lucille, but Lucille says no, Lucas needs to stay away, Eliott doesn’t love him, he can’t love him, it’s just something inside his head. She says Lucas is nothing to Eliott, he’s just a passing craze. What Lucille doesn’t know is that Lucas ain’t no passing phase, Hakuna Matata. Lucas sits down and cries after she leaves. Deeply dramatic piano music plays as he sobs. It gets a little too soap opera-ish here at the end, although I get that it’s a very intense scene; I just think the impact would’ve been just as great if they dialed it to a 10 instead of an 11. But you know, it’s Skam France.

Yeah, they made Lucille way more of an OTT villain here. I have to assume they’ll give her chance to speak for herself and humanize her like with Sonja, but it felt they escalated her less from someone who was just frustrated and concerned to someone who was operating out of spite, especially with the way they structured the scene. Like Sonja had the “he doesn’t love you” part earlier and she wasn’t like spitting at him. Isak was in disbelief, and she just left him like she was fed up. But they saved that “he doesn’t love you” part here for the final insult, the last knife to the ribs, and they made it more intense, too, like YOU’RE NOTHING TO HIM. Okay, Lucille, we get the picture, you can go back to punishing those kids for eating your gingerbread house.

I was pretty worried that this scene was going to be overly dramatic verging on exploitative, considering Skam France’s tendency to go over-the-top. But actually I think this set of clips was fine, other than the very end which was too much for my taste. The acting was strong and there were some solid directing choices. My biggest criticism is that they could have hinted at Eliott’s mania more before this clip, and that there wasn’t so much foreshadowing for this scene, in my opinion. And with Skam it wasn’t just about the clues that Even was bipolar, either, but the buildup of tension that something was off. Things like Eliott’s texts in the middle of the night about random memes managed to feel ominous, because we knew Even wasn’t sleeping. There are some moments that arguably were supposed to be hints about Eliott being manic, but I didn’t feel like they were so different from the rest of the acting/writing/directing/pacing that they really registered. So overall: buildup weak, payoff good on its own.

Social Media/General Comments

Lucas is shown hacking into the sink from the omelette that Eliott made, but I’m not convinced it wasn’t the paint. He posts a picture of the eggs like “If I get food poisoning, you’ll know why” YES BECAUSE YOUR MOUTHS WERE GUZZLING ART SUPPLIES OFF EACH OTHER LAST NIGHT.

Lucas did like all the meaningful posts on Eliott’s secret IG, like sketches of the rain and piano.

Eliott sleeps and Lucas cuddles him while singing a cover of “Call Your Girlfriend.” Sick Skam reference! (Actually I think Skam France's OG homages are really sweet.)

Lots of Eliott and Lucas couple selfies, with cuddly captions like “Him” or comments like “raccoon <3 hedgehog” emojis. Eliott draws another sketch of their fursonas together in all parallel universes.

Skam France also did something where they posted the sketch with pictures of the three Evaks out at the time, (from Norway, Italia, and France) which was seriously very cute and respectful of them.

Basile is wearing a Game of Thrones T-shirt (”Hodor Hodor Hodor”) in an IG pic and not to judge because I watch Game of Thrones myself, I’m literally wearing socks with the House Targaryen sigil on them right now, but yeah, that sounds about right for his character.

There’s also a dick print on the mural, it seems? For fuck’s sake, how could Eliott and Lucas possibly have any satisfying sex with paint slathered over their junk? Or did they wait until they were finished and just wiped off the paint by plastering their bodies against the mural? Maybe that’s how they cleaned themselves up. But how could you possibly get that good of a penis shape without just like ... dipping your dick into the bucket of paint itself? How could you position your dick and balls against the wall that way to get the imprint? Anyway, Alex and Emma have a bet over whose dick it is. I don’t think it’s anyone’s actual dick, Eliott and/or Lucas just thought it would be funny to paint something that looked like one.

Lucas brings up the Lucille call in a text to Eliott, saying that maybe Lucille had something to tell him, and that Eliott told her to fuck off. Eliott brings up that it’s something they had in common: Eliott told Lucille to fuck off so he could be with Lucas, Lucas told his friends to fuck off so he could be with Eliott (on Friday in the foyer). Well. Not totally the same, Eliott, but I feel like this is almost a diversion from what Lucas wants to know. Eliott says sometimes you have to tell people to fuck off to live your life. Lucas seems appeased by this answer for now, because he doesn’t push the topic, just says he’s happy Eliott is going with them tomorrow to the park.

I am not French so please feel free to correct me on translation or cultural notes.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamfr reactions #skam france reactions

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