My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

if i think about this too much i will sob my heart out

Gloomy but beautiful morning thoughts

some days im mothering the child within me who never got her words of comfort

you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine

i say to her, hugging her knees, 

it’s going to be okay, you’ll make it, you’ll be fine

i feel like no one really wants to hear that sleep/exercise/nutrition/hydration are major factors in treating mental health issues bc we’ve all talked to that person who thinks your depression would be cured by one good session of goat yoga or whatever but unfortunately they do help and i’m chronically annoyed about it

I think it's really important to understand that sometimes we fuck ourselves over by looking for "better" reasons for how we feel when it's really just simple animal shit. We want to think that we're worried about a friend (who is probably fine) when really it's starting to rain and we ate a fistful of Doritos for lunch. We want to construct an elaborate story for ourselves about how we're sad because our health isn't improving like it's supposed to and nothing we do helps when actually we just sat in a chair all day and we're tired and stagnant. We want interesting reasons, "valid" reasons for our feelings, and we end up creating a situation that's really hard to fix, when really probably a cup of tea and actually doing one (1) quick chore would probably do the trick.

soft healing urges to blossom your heart and flower your soul <3

credits: @ hopehealingarts on instagram!

Wow, I love this.

if you can’t eat a whole meal, eat half. you ate, that’s what is important.

if you can’t get out of bed, try and sit up instead of lying down. it’ll be better for your back and your blood pressure.

if you can’t shower or have a bath today, try and brush your teeth and clean your ears. it’ll keep you a little cleaner, and we often forget those areas. 

if you can’t get dressed today, change underwear and use some deoderant. it’ll leave you a little fresher until you have the strength to change fully.

and remember, i’m very proud of you. your best will look different every day, and that’s okay.

Stop ignoring your bodily signals that’s somethings not right. You get a bad stomach and need to run to the bathroom after the morning smoothie? It doesn’t agree with you. You get terrible anxiety and feel you need to perform on dates with the pretentious guy? He’s not your person. You feel shaky after the iced latte? It’s not for you sweetie. Your body is constantly sending signals, letting you know what feels good, and what doesn’t. Foods that don’t agree with you, people that cause you panic. Take inventory on what's causing dis-harmony in your life, and start editing ruthlessly. This is an act of self love. No more ignoring signs from your inner guidance system. Start heeding the call from your body. It’s speaking to you always. 

eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

✨ I observe what triggers me and greet it without judgement because I’m learning how to view my triggers as guides toward areas of my life to which I can give more attention and love, instead of negative or neglected signs 💜

hot girl summer but its me taking care of my emotional health, spending time under the sun, reading more, finding new things that make me happy, doing things that bring out good versions of myself

i still don’t understand why recovery isn’t romanticized more. getting better after being at your lowest point? working hard and doing what it takes to feel safe again? knowing that occasional dips aren’t the end of the world? changing yourself and ridding your life of toxic behavior/people? i’m sorry that sounds better than any edgy miserable story i’ve ever heard. 

Break the stigma