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spaceageloveblog · 7 months

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"I hate the rhythm of our lives these days."

There was a time in our lives we honestly thought we'd be able to afford a beach condo some day.

I'm at the point I'm ready to go scorched earth on our budget. Like turn off 401k contributions, forgoing the 6% match, turn off the automatic 529 contributions for the kids, not spending any money in restaurants, not spending any money on anything fun or extraneous until we get our emergency savings funded and our 2 car loans paid off and a 3rd car purchased for our oldest who turns 16 in June.

I don't know how to talk to her about it.

My head wants to say look at the money we make, her and our combined after-tax 4 monthly paychecks if annualized works out to top 20% income in the US if they were pre-tax. And if you deducted 15% savings from that and health insurance, then calculated taxes off what was left, our current mortgage (plus homeowners insurance and property tax) is less than 25% of that, within the conventional wisdom rule of thumb. Then we should be able to live on the rest comfortably. But it's worse than that. Because that doesn't account for 3-pay months and bonuses. But it's worse than that. Because these are after-tax numbers and if we convert them to pre-tax, we are easily in the top 10% of income, maybe 5%.

These numbers floor me, wake me up, make me think the promotion I'm chasing down at work can't be the answer to all our money problems because we should be able to live on what we make now.

But I don't think these numbers, using that approach, would mean anything to her.

Last month I reconciled our budget and spending daily, desperate to get us to live within our means, and make a symbolic effort of putting $100 toward our underfunded emergency savings fund we dipped into in 2021 for non-emergencies and have slowly depleted since then. And I did finagle our way there for October, admittedly pushing some spend off a month. But then November is here and expenses are up and I can't get the numbers to work.

I did tell her that made me sad. She didn't like me being sad about that. She texted me later that day from work, asking if we'd be OK. I responded yes. So hopefully she is primed for this conversation.

I just want to be able to breath.

I am tired of not doing the things we want to do. Summer of 2024 we will not be doing Europe, our momentarily reimagined 2020 Spain trip that was canceled due to the pandemic. How were able to afford Spain, she'll ask. Our monthly expenses were honestly $3k or $4k less then, difficult to believe, but true. She saw the numbers that a 2024 European trip would cost and knows it's not possible, maybe bring that up would work.

What about 2025, the summer before our oldest starts his senior year of high school, that was supposed to be a trip. What about the World Cup in 2026. What about any interesting and fun things that pop up. What about a beach condo.

We need to sacrifice now. We can't afford our dreams.

Right now we are treading water. Each decision feels a referendum on our entire budget. I don't want to live this way.

But then I talk to her about it and she sort of agrees and things might be happening.

#music #the '20s #Spanish Love Songs #money #debt #budgeting #dreams

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spaceageloveblog · 7 months

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"We found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it And we pretended it could last forever"

We moved to Florida and pretty quickly were so happy. Sure, maybe you were lonely being away from friends and family, but you were making it work. Maybe three young kids at home while I worked long hours--not to mention all the work travel and long distance running and MBA weekends I was doing--wasn't easy on you. But life was new again, away from the grey and boring of Ohio to the sunshine and freshness of Florida.

We moved into our house in April and by July I was pretty certain I never wanted to go back. Sure, my company moved me here and was planning on moving me back in a few years, but I was enjoying the moment. Even when we checked into that hotel one of our many family beach weekends away and my credit card was maxed out and I was sure that was wrong but I checked my banking app and realized it was right so I used another card and had to wait a few months for my bonus to pay it off.

Those years, 2013 and 2014 and 2015 and probably 2016 and maybe even 2017, those were the years. We had Disney season passes, no dog, a house that wasn't too big that I loved that wasn't our "forever" home, we lived like we were tourists. 1989 came out in the fall of 2014 and was part of the soundtrack of that time in our lives. I remember listening to it in the kitchen through our bulky, rectangular Bluetooth Bose speaker. I remember watching and rewatching the "Shake It Off" and "Blank Space" videos with the kids. I remember our youngest singing the chorus of "Wildest Dreams" from his car seat in the middle row of the 1st of our many Honda Odysseys, really nailing the "ah-ah, ha" parts.

I remember thinking in early 2017 that our time here was fleeting because my company was talking about moving me back to Ohio but somehow landing a job at another company, thinking now it was forever. But then life happened, Florida became normal, obligations grew, busyness reigned supreme, the slog was on.

But we could find some piece of Wonderland again, couldn't we?

#family #Florida #Ohio #Taylor Swift #Disney #the beach #money #happiness #running #work #marriage #parenting #the slog

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spaceageloveblog · 7 months

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The Verve's debut album, A Storm in Heaven, came out in 1993, 4 years before I (and presumably most Americans) heard of them by way of "Bittersweet Symphony" and their 3rd album, Urban Hymns, likely 7 years before I actually heard this album, probably more.

I do remember the place I was living in college in '99/'00 when I went back and bought their second album, A Northern Soul, because I remember one of those songs being on the mixtape I made for my spring '00 European study abroad trip. And I think it was only after that I went farther back and bought the debut, I remember listening to it driving around in '01/'02.

A Storm in Heaven is music for daydreaming. I would drive around Cincinnati my senior year of college listening to music like this and daydream about impractical things all the while I was mindlessly careening toward the most practical of lives.

Life is stressful at the moment. We have our youngest son going to a soccer academy a 40-minute drive across town. I drive him there in the morning. She picks him up in the afternoon. The traffic sucks. It's a slog. Then there's evening soccer and dinner and chores and homework, and we still have 2 other kids. Life in general becomes the slog.

Had the epiphany recently that we talked ourselves into this school earlier this year by telling ourselves let's trying something crazy. But then as school year has progressed, not wanting to put too much pressure on him or ourselves, we sort of normalized it, not emphasizing how big a deal and an opportunity this is. Like if we moved to NYC or lived out of a van, there would be many slog-like features, but we would collectively tell ourselves we chose the crazy thing, let's remember why we are doing this. But with our current life we aren't doing that, we are acting as if everything is normal and it's not.

He had a setback at school recently. Someone he thinks he's better than--a friend--got picked to move up to a more advanced spot over him. While I hate he has to go through this, it was an opportunity to talk to him about all sorts of mental toughness. But underneath all that mental toughness is a dream. Don't give up the dream. He has such a special opportunity, he should go for it. Don't hold back so he has an built-in excuse for failing. In 10 years I don't want him driving around daydreaming about a life beyond his reach, I want him living his dream.

#The Verve #music #alternative #rock #the '90s #the '10s #college #soccer #kids #parenting #daydreams

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spaceageloveblog · 7 months

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Sleigh Bells' Bitter Rivals album came out 10 years ago this month and it's one of those albums that just represents a moment in time for me, fall 2013 in this instance.

I'd been listening to Sleigh Bells since winter 2012 when they performed on SNL. I wasn't ready for "Comeback Kid," the sound was something different and Alexis's dancing caught me off guard. But the melody of "End of the Line" got me, and I went back to "Comeback Kid," liking it upon second listen. (And her dancing which was off-putting the first time around was endearing the second.) I bought Reign of Terror on iTunes, then I bought Treats too. Then I watched all their official music videos on YouTube, then I watched all sorts of crowd-shot live performances on YouTube too.

But then the last 3/4 of 2012 and the 1st 3/4 of 2013 happened. Skrillex, "Call Me Maybe," our 3rd kid was born. Taylor Swift Red album, Ke$sha's Warrior, we moved to Florida. The 1975, Random Access Memories, we lost some weight on the paleo diet.

But then Bitter Rivals came out of nowhere in October and I was back in. I would drive around listening to this with 3 little kids at home, but pretending I was an indie rock star in my car. My grandma was dying, I flew home to see her before she passed, took her pictures the kids colored for her, she clutched them in her hospital bed. She went quickly, funeral happened before I flew home. I listened to Sleigh Bells in the rental car on loop, it was a nice distraction to the weird feelings of sadness about my grandma and excitement for my new life and success in Florida. I liked to think she was happy for me.

In early November, they played a show in Orlando. I bought my wife and I VIP tickets, which meant access to a couch and a slightly elevated vantage point in the back. I remember thinking the show was awesome but not dancing even though I wanted to dance, probably because I don't she was as into it as me. We hadn't been drinking on paleo, but I decided to have a couple beers, she didn't. Similar story 10 years later.

I remember feeling old at the time compared to the millennial crowd. We weren't that old. Nowadays millenials feel old but they shouldn't. I constantly regret feeling old when I look back. I was still young 10 years ago at 34. I still listen to Sleigh Bells from time to time but it's not the same. I could have rocked out and danced but I felt old.

#music #Sleigh Bells #the '10s #SNL #live music #alternative #noise pop #Skrillex #Carly Rae Jepsen #parenting #Taylor Swift #Ke$ha #Florida #The 1975 #Daft Punk #paleo diet #feeling old

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spaceageloveblog · 9 months

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Life's too short.

Woke up early for my Sunday morning run, 5:30a. First long run of my 12-week half-marathon training program. The next 10 Sundays will all be longer.

Make coffee, use the bathroom, weigh-in. Somehow I'm 5 lb. heavier than I was on the first of the month. Darn. I have been overdoing it on the cheese. On the other hand, on that particular day I weighed in pre-lunch after sweating in the sun. So maybe it's not that bad.

Do Wordle, do Connections, coffee is ready. Lounge on the family room sectional, sipping coffee. Start to go through the rest of my normal routines. Already made my running playlist last night, a few songs from my favorite The xx album, then the entire Romy album which I listened to for the first time on Friday, then "Gosh" by Jamie xx. 59 minutes, perfect length for a 6-mile training run.

Open my computer, update my tracking sheet, only thing left to track is sleep. Mark "1" because I had to wake up in the middle of the night to pee. Blame it on the late dinner. Didn't finish until 9p, I like to finish by 8p at the latest, preferably earlier.

Ate dinner late yesterday due to a miscommunication we had. Asked her if she wanted to go out. There was food in the fridge for the kids, and they'd be happy to spend the evening at home playing video games and watching YouTube. She couldn't think of anything she wanted. We went back and forth for a while, and it seemed to me she was on the precipice of accepting one of my restaurant ideas but always stopped short.

And then for the next 2 hours there was a series of phone calls she made or received, I don't know for sure. I halfheartedly tried to get her attention but no success. Finally at 8p she was free and figured I'd already ate. I said I was waiting for her. She asked why. I'm like, would you have just eaten dinner without me on Saturday while I was on the phone?

She said fine, let's go out. We got in the car. Started to drive. Want do you want? Not that hungry she said, maybe she won't eat. Huh? How about the Greek place, I said. Sure, she said. We started to have an actual conversation about her work stuff. Feels normal. It's been a normal Saturday, things are fine. Pull into a parking spot. Are you just going to get takeout she asks, can I just wait in the car? I'm like, what? I don't want takeout that bad. Let's go somewhere else. She doesn't want to go anywhere she concedes.

In fairness to her, I've been obnoxious about dinner recently because we haven't been drinking alcohol. That is, I've been making every dinner out into a referendum on drinking. Analyzing, complaining, etc. So she admitted she wasn't really interested in having dinner with me lately. I drove us home, heated up some leftovers for myself and we didn't talk the rest of the night.

Watching YouTube while sipping my coffee in the morning, trying to wake up and prepare myself to run. Figured I should get off the couch around 6:30 or 6:45 to beat the mid-September Central Florida heat, but it was just before 7 and I was still watching Sopranos clips. She woke up and poured herself a cup of coffee. Great, I thought, I'm going to get up right when she sits down and she'll think I'm avoiding her, which I'm not. But instead she avoided me by taking her coffee and sitting outside.

So I did get up. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, got my running gear on, opened the slider to the back patio slightly, told her I was going to run, love ya. Love ya too.

A few miles in, Romy transported me to another place. The sound of her new album reminded me of Ibiza. Simpler times. Happier times. Well, now that I think about it, I remember we fought there too. I think it was about me staying out too late the first night and ruining the first beach day. But I wasn't thinking about that on my run. Just the warm sun, the cold Mediterranean water, the dance clubs, the music.

Romy sings to presumably her partner about not needing to be so strong. It makes me want to communicate more clearly that although I seem like I have it all together, I don't. But I need to be strong for her and the kids. I want to believe she'd welcome me being vulnerable with her, but that doesn't always go so well. Usually it's in money conversations that I express vulnerability. But I think she interprets it as accusations and she feels guilty about her spending. Maybe if I was vulnerable about life and happiness it'd go better?

Romy sings about advice she receives to enjoy your life. That what's our life has been missing, joy. Too much of a slog lately. I come back from my run inspired to talk to her. After I get out of the shower I sit next to her in silence as she watches Say Yes to the Dress and I reread my notes on the Courage to be Disliked. After a few minutes she gets up, turns off the TV and leaves the room. I keep reading. All problems are interpersonal problems, discard other people's tasks, seek community feeling.

I decide to to tell her I'll join her and dad at BW3 to watch football after church. They had planned to go watch the Bengals. That's another sore subject. It's annoying she cheers for the Bengals. But maybe I should chill out and accept it. I mean, I should have a long time ago. The Steelers will be on TV too, and we could all watch the games. I could drink beer again, life's too short.

But my conversation doesn't go like it did in my head. She says I probably shouldn't go because she's going to watch the Bengals and it's a bar. And I sort of dropped it.

We drive separately to church because our daughter needs dropped off at a friend's after. So I leave 15 minutes early with my oldest son to practice his driving in the elementary school parking lot that's on the way to the church. My son and I get to church first. She shows up a few minutes later in a Bengals T-shirt and earrings.

Church opens with a testimonial about joy. I start to reflect about how have I arrived at a place in my life where I will be spending Sunday morning with my family at church, but then skip watching football and drinking beer. That would be the opposite of joy. I want my life to be the new Romy album not the new Spanish Love Songs album.

So I rehearse a redo of the conversation I had earlier with her. I will listen and hopefully end up in a place where I say I'll drop our daughter off then meet everyone else at BW3. But it doesn't go that way. My oldest says he's so excited for B-Dubs. He'll ride with me. I say I'm taking our daughter to her friend's. He said that's OK. I say I might not be going to B-Dubs. I ask her if the boys will ride with her. She says whatever. They do. My daughter and I go our separate way. Conversation was over before it started.

I drop my daughter off. Think for a moment of just going to B Dubs, ordering a beer and sitting at the table with them. But I chicken out. Decide I'll grab myself a healthy lunch at Bolay then go Publix to get stuff to cook for dinner tonight and tomorrow. Might as well do something useful while I've gotten myself into this quagmire.

In line at Bolay, after the sweet potato noodles and kale salad are already in my bowl, and I am waiting to give them my vegetable selections, she texts me and asks me if I'm coming and need a seat. I said no thanks, I will get lunch on my own. She said she missed me. I said I missed her too.

Listening to Ryen Russillo's podcast driving from Bolay to Publix. He's recounting his trip to Europe last month--Barcelona and Ibiza--coincidental timing to my thoughts from the Romy album. I am picturing myself doing this solo traveling. Lots of eating dinner at the bar. It sounds fun but I'd want a drink. It was at this precise moment that I locked in on life being too short, and not drinking was creating more problems in my life than drinking was.

I have stopped looking forward to things. Not just tangible things like a dinner out or a weekend away, but also hypothetical things, like I couldn't picture a hypothetical trip to Mallorca without relaxing at the end of the evening with a nice meal with a nice drink. So much of life is just our internal thoughts and daydreams, and I am having a hard time envisioning future good times because I picture myself actively avoiding drinking, ruining the good times. Even when I drive by hole-in-the-wall local restaurants, thinking maybe we should explore that place, then I picture ordering ice water and the fun thought goes away. Life's too short, I should let myself have a drink every once in a while.

Maybe I will fail by reintroducing alcohol due to my all or nothing personality. That is, I say I want to be able to drink when situationally relevant, but that leads to 3 beers at home on a Tuesday. But I have to try, because I am being a miserable person. And I can watch all the online content creators that gave up drinking and they're probably right, but they replaced it with other things in life. I would like to replace it with hiking and biking and kayaking. But she is not interested in that. She is interested in date nights on Park Ave and weekends at the beach and vacations in Europe. And I'm interested in those things too. But she is OK with those things without alcohol, and I am interested in those things if I can have a couple beers with dinner.

She texts me again and ask where I am. I tell her Publix, getting something to grill for dinner. She says OK. I tell her maybe I will stop by for the second half if the Steelers can score a few points, per the ESPN app on my phone, they're down 20-0 at this point. I add "lol" to the end of my text message response. Steelers snag a TD right before the end of the first half on my way home. I drop the groceries off and head to B-Dubs to watch the second half.

By time I arrive, the second half has already started and the Steelers have already given up another TD. She's in a booth, with her dad and stepmom all in Bengals gear. My boys are there too. Youngest playing on his phone, oldest engaged with the Steelers game but frustrated in lighthearted way. The Bengals aren't playing well either. They'd end up losing by 21, the Steelers by 23. Before that, while her stepmom wondering aloud if she should complain to the waitress about the $2 upcharge for celery that she wasn't aware of, and I introduce her to the concept of "charge it to the game" which I don't think she understands.

While they still talking about the bill, I get up, head to the bar and order a Heineken draft. I come back to the table and say "life's too short" probably more under my breath than actually out loud, and drink the beer.

#marriage #sports #football #Steelers #beer #drinking #alcohol #Ibiza #Spain #family #kids #music #Romy #The xx #Jamie xx #Spanish Love Songs #Ryen Russillo

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spaceageloveblog · 9 months

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Business, numbers Money, people Business, numbers Money, people

Crime, travel Communication, entertainment Crime, travel Communication, entertainment

I feel like I'm not cut out for working from home for the rest of my working days. But I'm not saying I want to arbitrarily commute to an office to do work that I can do from home. I am talking about doing a job that requires me to be there. She is a kindergarten teacher and has to show up every day. All I am qualified to do is to talk on the phone and write emails and create Google slides. So I better get qualified to do something else, or I better make myself cut out to work from home for the rest of my working days.

Well, every since we starting sending my youngest son to a private school across town and I do the morning driving, I have the worst of both worlds: a long commute and the monotony of working from home.

I use the alarm on my phone to wake up. At the ungodly hour of 5a so I have time to drink coffee and run 4 miles before I drive my youngest to school. While I wait for the coffee to be ready, I try to my best to read a physical book but often go straight to Wordle then Connections on my phone. When I sip my coffee, I open my computer. At best, I type on this blog, but often I just watch YouTube. While YouTube is on, I nativate to a Google sheet to track yesterday's running and music listening and eating and sleep and weight if I happened to weigh in that day. Digital scale of course.

A few minute before I get up to brush my teeth and get ready to run, I open Apple Music on my phone to make this morning's running playlist. I run while listening to music from my AirPods connected to my Apple Watch. Quickly home to shower then take the long drive to and from his school, connecting my phone to my car's Apple Play, using Waze to navigate the quickest path based on today's traffic and again listening to music via Apple Music. After I drop him off I sometimes switch to Apple Podcasts. I bring along my work phone and check my work email and Slack before my drive back home.

I get home and work all day on my work computer. Often listening to music or podcasts from my phone via my AirPods or bluetooth Bose speaker. I will take a break and eat lunch, usually watching YouTube while I eat. I also check Twitter and a few other apps on my phone over the course of the day. And text message about the night's dinner and soccer carpool plans.

During dinner I play music or have soccer highlights playing on the big TV via the YouTube or ESPN smart TV app. After dinner during soccer practice I listen to more music or podcasts on my AirPods. Before bed I check my phone or computer a few more times. Not sure what's left to look at at this point.

This weekend I went outside. It felt better.

#music #Kraftwerk #computers #work #running #family

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spaceageloveblog · 9 months

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I watch this video and enjoy this song unironically. I still include Eurodance songs from the '90s and early '00s regularly on my running playlists unironically.

And I watch this video and careers like Kyle Gordon's and wonder what would've happened had I pursued something creative rather than major in business at a mediocre state school. What would I have done, like move to Chicago and taking improv classes then New York to do open mics. I used to dream of being Conan O'Brien when I was in high school. But a few years later, coming out of high school then college, making a living out of something interesting wasn't even on my radar. I was just going through the motions entering adult life.

And I know I said on the last post I need to stop wallowing in the shame of choosing mediocrity, but this post isn't about that. It's about the future. My youngest son--against my instincts that have guided me to mediocrity--is attending a soccer-specific middle school across town. Me driving him there every morning sucks. Her driving over there to pick up him every afternoon sucks. Paying for private school sucks. Constantly questioning yourself if you made the right decision academically for your kid sucks.

He loves it so far. In addition to his club soccer schedule of 3 weeknights of practice plus games most weekends, he now has soccer training 5 days a week at school. I think we manifested this school into existence, noticing how much physical activity this kid needed to thrive, worrying about the monotony coming his way in middle and high school, we pondered how cool it'd be for him to go to a soccer academy. Turns out one exists crosstown 35-45 minutes away during rush hour.

So it's hard on us, and although he loves it so far, it's not necessarily easy on him. It's a new school, he still needs to find his place, make his friends. He's forced to grow up fast, both in good ways and bad. Good in the independence and responsibility he's learning having to pack his school bag and training bag, showering everyday at school, changing into his class uniform each afternoon. Bad in the conversations he overhears from the high school boys while he waits to be picked up each day.

And if he's feeling sad about any little thing, it's tough as parents not fall back on thinking, why did we choose this crazy path? He could have gone to the same middle school his older brother and sister attended where he'd know people and life was predictable. We could have held him back with his friends on the lower club team, rather than foster his ambition of moving up to a more advanced team where the kids have a bid more edge to them.

So in times like this, I go back the purpose, the why. We entered into to this, knowing it was something different. Different comes with risks. It will take some time for him to make friends. It will take some time to prove himself skill-wise with a new group of coaches. It may not go well. But we went in with eyes wide open, actively choosing the different path. There's plenty of time to go back to the normal path.

And besides, the normal path is not without risks, namely the risk of mediocrity.

#music #Eurodance #the '90s #the '00s #comedy #Kyle Gordon #career #shame #mediocrity #parenting #kids #school #soccer

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spaceageloveblog · 10 months

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Sometimes I reflect on my life, and my career especially, and wonder how I got to where I got. Why were my ambitions the way they were. That is, mediocre. Why didn't I dream bigger. I daydreamed, sure. But why no dreams that I pursued.

So I picture my life after having bigger ambitions as a teenager. Go to an elite college. Travel. Get an important job. Travel more. Go to an elite grad school. Get a more important job. Have a lot more money than I do now.

And then I watch this music video and remember why. I remember the person I was in August 1996. 17 years old. Working the minimal amount of hours at my dishwashing job so I didn't have to ask my parents for too much money. Bumming around most of the summer in our family's third car that I didn't pay for. About to start my senior year of high school, where I'd continue to get good grades, not try very hard, not do anything interesting academically or extracurricularly speaking. Never had a girlfriend. Never had sex. Never even made out with a girl. Biding my time until I'd head off to a mediocre state school a year later.

All I wanted was to be the sort of person that girls would be interested in, have normal situations, young person drama, girlfriend arguments, pregnancy scares, breakups. I wanted to party and be the kind of person cool people and girls wanted to be with. I really wasn't focused on doing anything interesting, doing anything that would warrant cool people and girls wanting to hang out with me. I was funny, that was my saving grace. People like hanging around with funny people. But I wasn't the kind of funny that got me girls. I just wanted to be in the game. I was game-adjacent, but I wasn't in the game.

The day after writing everything above, I heard Van Lathan on a podcast, giving advice to a guy wanting to lose weight, and he said the shame is what kills you. You need to let go of that. You can't wallow in that. You need to move forward. Focus on incremental steps toward where you want to go.

I never thought about the shame aspect. I grew up in a mediocre town. I was a little bit smart, a little bit funny, a little bit athletically inclined. But I sailed under the radar with a few Bs to end up ranked 4th in my class. Never leveraged my sense of humor to seriously pursue anything creative. Gave up on sports when I didn't make the high school baseball team. Just applied to mediocre state schools and went to the one that gave me the most scholarship money in a another mediocre city in my mediocre state. And I wonder why my career and my body are where they are now--good not great.

And I feel shame about that. Wasted potential or something. Just need to call it what it is and move forward.

I'm on a win streak healthwise--running, not drinking, stringing together a few weeks of reasonably healthy eating. Just keep adding steps.

And career wise, I finally made it to the interview stage of the next level job at my company, a big step. You usually don't get hired for the first one of these jobs you apply for, but I've been invited to the show. Regardless of how this goes, I need to keep the momentum going.

So that's what I need to focus. Not why 17-year-old me in August 1996 didn't choose the optimal trajectory according to the hindsight of 44-year old me in August 2023. I just need to take incremental steps in the right direction now.

But I do love that album though.

#music #Hayden #the '90s #Van Lathan #dreams #goals #ambition #career #summer #August #shame #health

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spaceageloveblog · 10 months

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So we went to a Cure concert.

Taylor Swift played 3 shows in Tampa in April and it was too expensive and we'd already seen her in 2018 anyway. But those April shows came and went and I felt regret. Then I saw she was in Cincinnati in July, we could make a weekend out of visiting our old stomping grounds and seeing the show. But she said, c'mon, that's still too expensive, and we don't want to see her without the kids.

But we could use a summer weekend getaway without the kids, I said. Did some Googling and couldn't believe we didn't know the Cure were ending their North American tour in Miami on Saturday, July 1. It was sold out, but we could scalp decent ticket for $700 each, expensive but not Taylor Swift expensive, that would be awesome, right? She agreed.

I could only find the seats on Vivid, not Seatgeek or Stubhub, which seemed weird. I wanted to be sure who I was dealing with before dropping that kind of money on concert tickets. The company seemed legit. However, I mentioned I was thinking about this to a coworker of mine who knew was a big Cure fan, and she cautioned me the band was going to war with ticket scalpers so be careful.

Reading Robert Smith's Twitter feed demonstrated that war, making it very difficult, Vivid being the only secondary site to try. My Reddit research indicated Vivid was doing something a bit sketchy, selling Ticketmaster accounts not tickets. That is, I pay them money, they transfer an account to me, then I change the name on the account to mine. Knowing how much effort Robert Smith was putting into bucking scalpers, we decided not to risk it.

If we weren't willing to try that route, the only way was the Ticketmaster face value resale. So I just refreshed that site a few times per day. I got a hit one Saturday morning, nosebleeds, side view, around $100 per ticket all in. Sellers were offering all 3 or just 1, not 2. So I bought all 3. Put the 3rd up for sale on the verified site right away and it sold in 10 minutes. Kept refreshing everyday. About a week later, 2 more nosebleeds popped up, about $10 more per ticket, but better location, not a side view. Bought those 2, resold my other 2, again in like 10 minutes. Kept refreshing for a few months, but gave up a few days before the show. Nosebleeds were it.

Research on Reddit indicated that opening act went on at 7 for 45 minutes, half hour break until the Cure at 8:15, played until 11. Knowing that, you still get worried and get there too early in case that's not always the case. But on Twitter the band account posted nearly exactly that, Twilight sad at 7, the Cure at 8:15.

We took the under 10 minute walk to the hotel on the somewhat pedestrian friendly sidewalk, surrounded by tons of nerdy 40- and 50-something white dudes in non-trendy jeans with black, grey or navy T-shirts and black shoes. Their dates were similarly aged, dressed slightly more trendily. Closer to the arena we did wee more young people dresses goth though. She wore something moderately hip if I recall correctly. I wore the standard nerdy dark grey T-shirt, but opted for Bermuda shorts and white Adidas sneakers. So I was dressed very non-trendy for Miami standards, but on the upper end of trendiness for Cure concert in 2023 standards.

Getting into the arena was pretty easy, lines moved quickly. Looked like long merch lines inside, but we weren't interested. Up the escalators to the nose bleeds, past dozens more dudes in T-shirts and jeans and sneakers. Opted for a drink, but we're on a no alcohol kick, so water. They poured the water bottles into big plastic cups which was annoying.

It was around 7:40, sounded like opening act was finishing up, so we decided to sip water and wait in the concourse until they finished. Not that I have anything against them, I listened to an entire album of theirs plus a few more of their songs in preparation for the show, but at this point, why bother some fan that really wanted to see them by navigating to our seats for one song.

When it was time, we find the entrance to section 310. Start walking up, it's dark and difficult to see the row numbers. We wonder how far up row 22. Turns out it's all the way up. Your natural initial reaction is, yikes, last row, these suck. But they were great. The angle of the section meant our row only had 6 or 8 seats in it. We were seats 1-2 and didn't have to constantly make way for others coming and going. And there was a ledge behind us, so we had somewhere to stow our gigantic plastic cups of previously bottled water.

We had a few moments to ourselves as the crowd trickled in. She asked what even is this area for? I pointed to the Miami Heat championship banners we didn't even have to crane our necks to see because we were so high up, they were basically at eye level. We talked about whatever, we were generally happy, talking pictures, laughing. My college friend had sent me a picture of himself from Taylor Swift in Cincinnati the night before, so I did a similar pose, she took my picture and I texted it to him.

The Cure is a weird band for me inasmuch that I love them, but I started loving them later in life, so I don't know a lot of their deep cuts very well. And I know a few of their songs from living through them as a kid when I wasn't into them. Definitely remember living through "Lovesong" in '89 then "Friday I'm in Love" in '92. And by college in the late '90s I was definitely aware of more of their '80s classics like "Just Like Heaven" and "Close to Me" and "Boys Don't Cry."

At some point in the 2010s, I became enamored with "Pictures of You" which led me to their Greatest Hits and the Disintegration album. And those were enough to call myself a fan. Over the last few years I eventually got around to listening to most their '80s albums and the entire album "Friday I'm in Love" is on (can't believe "Letter to Elise" escaped me for so long). But I have barely listened to much of their stuff from the rest of the '90s and onward.

All that is to say, there are many songs they played that I didn't recognize, including their opening song. That didn't matter to me very much, the second song they played was "Pictures of You" and I stood there in the back row and sang along, I think she did too. And I was in.

Well, I was in before that. When the band came out, Robert Smith methodically walked around the stage, hit every angle, looking all around, seemingly soaking it all in. This took 5 minutes or so. It was quite the sight to see. He seemed to be feeling something, and that feeling transferred itself into the crowd. It felt special to be there. To be in the presence of this band and these songs that have been with so many of us for so long.

I could have sang along to "Pictures of You" then a few others and called it night and been happy. But they played for so long, playing so many of their best songs, it was simply a grand experience. An experience that was only slightly dampened by so many people being in the wrong seats all around us, and plenty of back and forths with ushers and whatnot. It was dark, I get it, but c'mon. All of this didn't get totally sorted probably until a half hour or so into the show.

They played 14 songs before the first break, and besides "Pictures of You" the only other really "big" song (in my opinion) they played was "Lovesong." They played "Push," a song I've gotten into lately as I've listened the The Head on the Door album in its entirety for the first time recently. That was a highlight. A song I really dug that I didn't previously recognize was "And Nothing is Forever."

The band left the stage unceremoniously around 9:45 and she asked what was going on, I thought you said they were playing until 11. I said they were probably just taking a break. And they did come back out just a few moments later. They call this an encore online, but it didn't feel like a normal concert encore where the band ends on a dramatic note with a big song, then comes back out for 2 or 3 more big songs. This just felt like a break, the first of 2.

They came back out for 5 more songs, but it was sort of low key, playing sort of mellow songs, the last 3 of which from Disintegration, including "Plainsong." And just like that, they were off for another break. This time it felt even more obvious because their biggest songs were still yet to come.

When they came back on, Robert Smith walked around the stage again, soaking it all in. He genuinely seemed emotional, like this was important and meaningful to him. Then they played "Lullaby" plus a couple more and then were onto some of their biggest songs. "Close to Me" then "Why Can't I Be You?" then "In Between Days" then "Just Like Heaven" then "Boys Don't Cry." That felt like that should have been it. But then they played a couple more. 30 songs in total if setlist.fm is to be trusted.

We stopped by CVS on the walk back to the hotel for drinks and snacks, waited in a long line of concert goers. The next morning we had a great breakfast at Brazilian coffee shop nearby that I found on Yelp because we you aren't drinking alcohol, you need to have a thing, and mine is good coffee. Then we were off to Key West for 2 nights which had its ups and downs, many of the downs caused by my obsessive navel gazing about teetotaling and scoffing at the price of mocktails. Essentially Key West was fine but not for us, at least not for us in the place we're at in our lives.

But we saw the Cure and for a moment we were happy.

#music #live music #concerts #The Cure #Miami #Florida #Key West #alcohol #marriage #travel #coffee #the '80s #the '90s

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spaceageloveblog · 11 months

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I remember the summer of 1997, the summer between high school and college for me, that's the first time I heard of Sarah McLachlan.

"Building a Mystery" was on the radio a lot. There were a lot of songs like that and artists like her out at the time: Paula Cole, Meredith Brooks, Shawn Colvin, Fiona Apple. It was a whole thing. Lilith Fair came a year later.

More Sarah McLachlan music came out during my college years. And then there was abused dogs commercial featuring her and her song "Angel." And that was it.

I recently discovered she made music before 1997. She had an album in 1989. The song "Vox" is a highlight. Apparently her breakthrough album came out in 1993, Fumbling Toward Ecstasy, which clearly didn't breakthrough for 14 year old me. "Possession" is the lead track, which I have heard previously, but before this week, would have guessed came out in 1999 or 2000.

I like pop music. My general awareness of pop music is greater than nearly everyone I come into contact with in real life. No one I talk to seems to have heard of most of the music I am listening to. But when I listen to music podcasters or YouTubers talk about pop music, their awareness is vastly deeper than mine. They speak with throwaway familiarity on the most obscure artists.

This must be how people in the top 10% of wealth feel when interacted with the bottom 90% and the top 1% respectively. My pop music awareness is rich. The people I meet every day are middle and working class. The music podcasters and YouTubers are billionaires.

Not sure what do with this observation. Going to listen to more Sarah McLachlan songs.

#Sarah McLachlan #the '90s #wealth inequality

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spaceageloveblog · 11 months

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So we went to a Men I Trust concert.

I started looking for something for us to do together after going to the 100 gecs concert by myself. Noticed Men I Trust were coming to Hard Rock Live on June 16, a Friday night halfway between the end of school and our early July getaway, figured it'd be the perfect timing for a summer date night. Made dinner reservations at Cowfish Burger, a CityWalk restaurant that seemed interesting we hadn't been to be before. We could have a touristy night: dinner, concert, maybe late night donuts at Voodoo on the walk back to the car.

I had never heard of Men I Trust, so I listened to their most recent album. It was fine--listentable enough to buy tickets and put my tourist date night plan into action. Ended up listening to two more of their albums. They were fine too, sounded good, tried to find standout songs, but they all sort of ran together. But I'd play them while I worked, good background music, like halfway between alternative and lofi hip hop, maybe lofi hip hop with smooth feminine vocal on it. Not sure how this would be a live music experience, but she wouldn't care, we'd have a night out, and I got us balcony seats, so we could sit and relax.

We drove down to Universal after work on Friday. Parked in Jurassic Park 406. Took the numerous escalators and moving walkways, through the metal detectors, past all sorts of tourists taking pictures of seemingly nothing. Restaurant check-in was weird, but we got in. They asked us if we wanting inside or outside in the covered area or first available. We picked first available. Got sat outside and regretted it because it was just hot enough to be annoying. But the food was interesting and good enough. Neither of us is drinking right now which makes dinners out weird for me but cheaper.

Walked over the Hard Rock in plenty of time. Two times in a row now I tell myself I don't care if I miss the opening act, but two times in a row I'm there in time to see the opening act start. They didn't sound good. They sounded bad enough for me to worry about a) not bringing ear plugs because they were strangely too loud and b) the overall quality of Men I Trust not being good enough to have this bad of an opening act. Neither concern ended up being an issue as Men I Trust ended up not being too loud and they sounded great.

The opening act stopped their second song midway because someone in the audience passed out. This was weird, everyone was concerned. We looked at each other and said to ourselves, how crazy is this? But then it happened two more times during the opening act and another three times during Men I Trust. Men I Trust handled it better than the opening act. My hypothesis is it was young people waiting for hours in the Central Florida heat for the doors to open, then rushing to the stage to get their spot, standing there for additional hours, completely forgetting about drinking water.

The audience was pretty normal. Not alternative music concert normal but normal normal. Normal clothes. Lots of teenagers I think. Seated in front of was were two unrelated pairs of mother-child combos, one with her daughter, one with her son. One mom looked to be maybe 5 years older than us, the other mom looked to be 10-15 years older than us. No idea how old each of the kids were, maybe 16 to 25? Lots of regular looking people in their 20s and 30s. There was one guy who had his short-sleeved button-up shirt unbuttoned, showing of his huge belly.

Men I Trust sounded really, really good. We were surprised they were sort of a jam bad. There were five of them, spaced the stage in symmetrical and aesthetically pleasing formation. Emma sang and played guitar, positioned centrally upfront. There was another guitar player, a bass player, drummer and someone on keyboards. All guys but for Emma. Again, they jammed. They seemed to be enjoying themselves.

I recognized some songs that I'd saved on playlists that I liked, like "Sugar" and "Oh Dove." A few others stood out that I added to playlists, like "Show Me How" and "Tailwhip" and "I Hope to be Around." (I only listed 5 songs, but I search YouTube for links and the band has made music videos for all 5 of them, which has to say something about them.) I don't know what to make of this music. It's good, it's inoffensive, when I need something on for sound, it works. I've been playing them a lot in the days after the show, I wonder how long it will last because the individual songs still don't stand out much.

After the show we walk out into the Central Florida night. Sun is down so the heat is gone. Walk past Voodoo. There's a long line for donuts, she says nah, we keep walking. You tend to make better decision when you're not drinking alcohol. I wonder how long I'll keep this up. Back home to the suburbs at the reasonable hour of 11 or 11:30, kids still up playing video games. Go to bed happy that I gave myself the day off the next day from running.

So we went to a Men I Trust concert and that's two consecutive months of seeing live music.

#music #live music #concerts #Men I Trust #marriage #Hard Rock Live #Orlando #alcohol

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spaceageloveblog · 1 year

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Phone in my hand Still checking if you called I'm double-texting No, I've never been cool

Sit down to watch the Champions League final. Twitter open on my phone. All sorts of seemingly normal people I follow that are Man City fans posting about the game. All sorts of engagement. Would be fun to post online about sports and have people respond and start discussions. I post all sorts of what I think are interesting takes and get nothing. I only have 21 Twitter followers so that's probably part of the problem. I post what I think are interesting takes via comments under other people's soccer Tweets and get the occasional like. Except that one time I posted a banal comment about not liking the ruling that Rashford wasn't offside in the Manchester derby and got like 1000 likes.

And I'll burn that bridge when I get to it Yeah, I'm on fire

She asked me why I was a Manchester City fan once and I had to think about it. My reasons aren't great. I little over a decade ago when NBC Sports started showing the Premier League in the US, I wanted to pick a team. I was already a fan of the international tournaments every 2 years, i.e. the World Cup and the Euros. I was off and on interested in the Champions League. But the EPL on NBC looked so good on TV, I wanted to follow a team. I didn't want to pick the English version of the Yankees or Cowboys, so the big teams were off the list. Going too small would be stupid. So maybe just outside the big teams, but nothing captured my interest.

I felt pulled to Manchester because that felt comparable to where I grew up in Western PA/Northeast OH, but United was out due to the big club rule. Then I saw City competing for the title with them in the spring of 2012. Then I watched the final matchday of the season, saw Aguero score the winner in stoppage time and was hooked. Then I saw Noel Gallagher was a fan and I was more hooked. But I only watched them off and on for the next few years, going in and out of cord cutting. Then Pep came and we had cable, didn't follow the Centurion season that closely, but fell in love with the 2018-19 domestic treble team and was hooked even further. I'd say I've watched >90% of their games from the 2018/19 season onward.

It's all blue You know I feel it and I bet you do (And I bet you do) And that's on you If you wanna take off, baby, you do you

So Man City won the treble. They were amazing this year. Especially Mar/Apr/May when they were relentless in the league, forcing Arsenal to buckle under the pressure, and steamrolling everyone in the knockout stages of the Champions League, culminating in a dismantling of Real Madrid in the semis. They sort of muddled their way through the final few weeks, but that happens sometimes. They got the job done.

Overthinking (Overthinking) You know I'm really good and you're a miracle You're so misunderstood I get so lost in your mind (I'm so lost) Daddy, teach me this lesson a thousand times

Being an American fan of European sports is funny sometimes. On an object level I literally can't quite understand the critique of the fans of other clubs complaining about how this feels. I'm like, if you are a Man United fan or Liverpool fan this isn't supposed to feel good. Then I realize on a meta level it all makes sense. They are doing whatever they can to diminish what their rivals accomplish, perfectly normal.

It's also weird sometimes being a non-expert at the sport but following along the team for the entire season and watching entire games, seeing experts on TV and hearing experts on podcasts say things that are wrong and your realize everyone is full of it. Like the complaints about Pep overthinking it by starting Ake over Walker, when it was obvious for City fans who have been paying attention. And the takes that Lautora Martinez obviously messed up by going for goal rather than squaring it for Lukaku, when it wasn't that obvious.

It's all blue You know I feel it and I bet you do (And I bet you do) And that's on you If you wanna take off, baby, you do you

The celebrations have been great. The joy from Pep, the players, the fans...it's been fun to watch. Feels like it's been building for a few years, as City has been the best team in Europe for a while now, just couldn't get over this last hurdle. And for the fans, there's one less thing the red side of Manchester has over them. Pep looks different than he did 12 years ago in Barcelona, like he understands the magnitude of this accomplishment a little more now. And I hope Jack Grealish has gotten some sleep.

I put down your pain, but I'll pick it up again It's all blue That's why I fit in with you You know I feel it and I bet you do (And I bet you do) And it's all blue You know I feel it and I bet you do (And I bet you do)

I remember when the Steelers won their first Super Bowl of my lucid lifetime. I was first happy for Bettis, as it was a long time coming from him. Then I thought of Cowher, as it was a longer time coming for him. But ultimately it was more about me, I waited my whole life. That's who I was happiest for, myself.

Sat in my car 'til the song stopped playing See, I'm blue with or without you, baby Sat in my car 'til the song stopped playing See, I'm blue with or without you, baby

I keep scrolling Twitter and Reddit for more fan reactions, more expert reactions. I keep watching ESPN FC and keep listening to them say the same thing over and over about this team. At some point this will get old, but I feel compelled to keep soaking it in for now.

It's all blue You know I feel it and I bet you do And that's on you If you wanna take off, baby, you do you

Pep's contract is for 2 more seasons, so hopefully he stays for those at least. One more would make 10, so I'd love an additional year to make a full decade, but that's probably too optimistic. So another league title, another Champions League title, they could both happen. And who knows what happens next. They money would still be there, but you need the coach too. I watch the revolving door of coaches at the other biggest clubs in the world and realize City has been spoiled to have Pep for 7 seasons. Would be absurdly spoiled to get him for 9 or 10.

I put down your pain, but I'll pick it up again It's all blue That's why I fit in with you You know I feel it and I bet you do (And I bet you do) And it's all blue You know I feel it and I bet you do

We cut off cable again so unless I do something about that, we'll miss half (or more) of their league games next year. With ESPN+ and Paramount+ we'll see all of their Champions League and FA Cup and League Cup game. Peacock will get us half (or less) of their league games. Is that enough? We'll see. There's only so much you can do to arrange your life around following a soccer team 4000 miles away across an ocean. But it's been really fun so far.

I bet you do too

#music #Camp Cope #Manchester City #sports #soccer #Premier League #Champions League #Pittsburgh Steelers #Pep Guardiola #Jack Grealish #Sergio Aguero #Noel Gallagher

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spaceageloveblog · 1 year

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I watched an Anthony Fantano video about Pitchfork's AOTYs for each year of the first decade of the 2000s. Had the idea to listen to each of the 10 albums and share my thoughts on them. Plus talk about my favorite albums from each of those years. And other music I remember from those years. And maybe other memories I have too. But I haven't gotten past the year 2000 yet.

PJ Harvey's Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea is my favorite album from that year. And upon reflection it feels like a transition pick representing a transition year for me. 2000 might be the earliest year I could go back to, pick my favorite album with hindsight, and it also be something I liked back in that year too. That is, I assume if I picked 1999 and earlier, the album I would call out as my favorite now is likely not something I was into in 1999.

"You Said Something" is my favorite song on that album and is still something I listen to on regular rotation to this day. A couple months from now, when I'm absentmindedly creating a quick playlist for some random reason, there's a reasonable chance I throw that song on there. I often wonder what the "something" "said" that she "has never forgotten" and "was really important." Probably something like "I love you" if I had to guess. But every once in a while I like to think it was something zany that'd be impossible to guess.

Why was 2000 a transition time in my life? I turned 21. I hadn't lost weight yet, that'd start the next year, though I daydreamed about it. I think I even tried lifting weights in the basement of the house my friends and I lived in over the summer. I remember hearing to "Californication" on WEBN nearly every evening while lifting. Then I'd come upstairs and go get Hardees for dinner. Even my other fat friends were like, what are you doing?

Though I was into Oasis and The Verve and the post-Britpop bands those bands got me into, I was still more in a Korn and Rage Against the Machine phase of life. Limp Bizkit was still big though my friends were more into them than me. But that was more of what I was listening to. PJ Harvey was a departure, but that album would take me more toward the music I'd start listening to. I remember toward the end of the year, ending the evening watching videos on MTV2, "Catch the Sun" and "Yellow" were on regular rotation, and I loved those songs.

So the kids and I were up in Ohio visiting my mom and my brother's family last week. And we did the 15 hour drive straight through bath ways. On the drive back I needed something to keep me interested so we only listened to music from the year 2000. We started with Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea and it sounded perfect took as my first sip of the Americano I ordered in the drive thru of the Alliance Starbucks at 6:35 in the morning, the first coffee stop on the journey.

We listened to Kid A next, Pitchfork's AOTY for 2000. I've listened to the whole thing before. Radiohead are perfectly acceptable to me, but others obviously like them much more than I do. Like seemingly everyone my age, I like the song "Creep." I remember it on played endlessly on MTV the summer between 8th and 9th grade. I really like The Bends album which came out during high school for me, probably my favorite of theirs, though I know the critics preferred what came next much more. OK Computer is good of course, but I always go back to The Bends more so that's why it's my favorite. Kid A came out when I was living in the fraternity house in college and it wasn't for me at that moment in time. Don't think I listened to it in its entirety until years later. Think I lost track of Radiohead after that, but maybe 5 years ago, I read something somewhere that In Rainbows was their best album. That came out in 2007 and I had no idea. I was busy with work and starting a family and listening to pop music during that time in my life. I listened to it when I read about it and it wasn't for me.

The kids didn't notice I was doing this 2000 thing yet. I know they've heard me play PJ Harvey songs before, so those probably washed over them unnoticed. And they probably thought Kid A was just another one of those weird things Dad likes.

I then mixed in songs off other albums from Pitchfork's top 10 of 2000, most of which--if not all--I had never heard before: Sigur Rós, Modest Mouse, Yo La Tengo, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Grandaddy, The Microphones, Les Savy Fav, Clinic, Smog. Some of it was fine, just wasn't the best situation to deeply absorb new music, careening down I-77 from Ohio to West Virginia to Virginia to North Carolina to South Carolina, timing gas stops and bathroom breaks, looking for good coffee and clean fast food places, still having to cutover on I-26 to I-95 to make to Georgia then Florida. The only album of those I listened to its entirety was Modest Mouse's The Moon & Antarctica because I like their other stuff. And I guess it was fine. Bu it's been a week or so and I haven't gone back for more of any of it yet.

Then I started playing stuff I remember liking--or at least sort of liking--that came out in 2000: "One Armed Scissor" by At the Drive-In, the singles from the Marshall Mathers LP and Outkast's Stankonia, and "Music" by Madonna. That led to Alice Deejay and other Eurdance stuff I remember from that year. I went to Europe for the first time in spring 2000 and Eurodance music was the soundtrack of my trip. "Kernkraft 400" and "Freestyler" were the songs I remember most fondly, besides all the Alice Deejay bangers, "Better Off Alone" being the most bangerest of all her bangers.

Many pop songs that were big here in the U.S. were also omnipresent in my travels in France and Belgium and The Netherlands and Germany and Italy. Like "Oops!...I Did It Again" and "The Thong Song." That led me to start going for stuff I remember regardless of if I liked it or not. That's the funny thing about nostalgia I've noticed, things I disliked in the moment, I can listen back to now and have warm feelings about them. Like Savage Garden or that "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" song.

At some point in the trip, probably during a switch from one Redbox DVD rental to another, one of the kids requested a song, but I told them we were only listening to songs from the year 2000. The were slightly annoyed at first but eventually acquiesced because although I'm a pushover on many subjects, they know that when I get the idea of listening to 15 consecutive hours of music from the year 2000, there's no moving me off it.

Some of the songs led to interesting conversations. Mostly with my oldest, a 14 y/o boy who just finished his freshman year of high school and was sitting shotgun, throwing me random hypotheticals and trivia to keep me awake. At one point I made the comment that it was harder to find playlists of 2000 as opposed to say 2001 or 2007, because when you search 2000 specifically, you find more decade-based playlists, whereas if you search for 2005, you find playlists for the precise year.

That led him to ask me, when inquiring about when someone was born, how far back to you have to go to not care about the precise year and only care about the decade. I said, well, there's a big difference between someone born in 1950 or 1959, because someone born in 1950 was a young adult during the turmoil of the late '60s and early '70s, while the person born in 1950 was in elementary school at the time. So we settled on the 1940s. If you were born during that decade, we don't need the precise year.

My son then started talking about draft, that someone born in 1950 could have been drafted for the Vietnam War. Then he asked why that even happened. And I said it seems like a mistake looking back but cautioned him on hindsight bias and having skin in the game when assessing decision-making. And all I could talk about pulling from personal experience was the buildup to the Iraq War, and I felt it was crazy at the time, but I was just out of college and it was easy for me to say, I didn't really have any skin in the game. And then we had all sorts of conversations about expert opinions and who to trust, but at some point he has to decide things for himself. His mom and I could tell advise him on how to live his life, but in the long run, he has to live with his decisions, not us. I think he listened, and I like to think some of what I said resonated.

I saved Coldplay's debut album for the end, another one of my favorites from the year. I told my son how I really like their first two albums but I sort of lost interest after that, but they obviously became much more popular after that. He humored me and listened to me talk about music I liked when I was young. Then that album ended and there were still 45 minutes to go in our drive, so we listened to Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea again. I told him this was my favorite album from 2000. He said he recognized some of the songs and continued to humor me and not say anything critical. I even caught him singing along to a few of the lyrics of "You Said Something."

If I live long enough, maybe in 2052 we'll take a long drive and he play me his favorite music from 2029.

#Anthony Fantano #Pitchfork #2000 #music #PJ Harvey #rock #alternative #road trips #Radiohead #Alice Deejay #Europe #Eurodance #Coldplay #parenting #kids

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spaceageloveblog · 1 year

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Giorgio Moroder's "Son of my Father" came out in 1972, hard to believe just 5 years later he was making "I Feel Love" with Donna Summer. The synthesizer was new and I guess it had to go through iterations like this (and this) before evolving into what it eventually did. This shows how young pop music was in the early '70s, to go through changes so quickly. An artist doing 1/5 the evolution over 25 years would be looked at sideways nowadays.

I need to embrace my younger Giorgio Moroder and make changes to my life, not act like the 44-year-old I am that can't make drastic change. I am the son of my father and he died at 47. I am home visiting my mom this week, reverted to old ways of eating too much. I know how I need to eat I just can't make myself do it. I know I need to quit drinking I just can't envision my life without out it. But I need to look back on 2028 and scoff at how unevolved I was in 2023.

I'm like, I need to "start" on June 1. I will eat better and quit drinking. Lose X pounds in June then Y pounds in July. Have a really healthy summer before the hecticness of the new school year starting in early August.

But I already had "starts" and stops N times in the last few weeks and months and years. What's the point?

The point is I need to do something. I need to get better. She needs my help to get better. The kids need my help to get better. It has to start with me though. I can't be there for all of them if I'm not the best version of myself. I need to figure this out.

#music #Giorgio Moroder #synthesizer #change #health #losing weight #drinking #the '70s

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spaceageloveblog · 1 year

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I listen to at least one album every day in its entirety. I do it in a three day cycle: new, new to me, old. On the days for an "old" album, I sometimes have a reason to listen to it, but oftentimes I resort to simply opening up Apple Music to see what's listed in the "Listen Now" section, notice an album I haven't heard in a while and go with that. A few days ago it was Goodness by the Hotelier.

It came out in 2016, a year a lot of albums I love came out, especially indie rock albums I love. Pinegrove's Cardinal came out that year, probably my favorite, saw them twice live that year. Car Seat Headrest's Teens of Denial came out that year, probably the most critic darling indie rock album, I loved it at the time, don't go back to it as much. The 1975's second album came out too, I loved that, still do. Julien Baker's first album came out too, loved that, saw her live that year too. And my favorite Angel Olson album. And the Mitski album with "Your Best American Girl" on it. Those were just my favorites. There were plenty more.

I was new into streaming and listening to a lot of new stuff, feeling old, but optimistic about the latest music coming out. I can tell I'm old because I think stuff in 2016 is still relatively recent, but would laugh at someone in 1993 for thinking 1986 music was recent. I had just finished my exec MBA and was taking improv classes, spending time around younger people. Keeping me young to some extent, making me feel old at the same time.

I assume I listened to the entire Goodness album at the time. But I really only remember the first half, and really loved 2 songs: track 2 "Goodness, Pt. 2" (which was effectively the opener after a spoken word track 1) and track 6 "Settle the Scar," both of which remain on intermittent rotation to this day. But then I listened to the full album a few days ago and heard track 9 "Soft Animal" and when the chorus came on and the singer belts out "MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE, MAKE ME BELIEVE THAT ALL MY SELVES ALIGN" I get the chills and I am fairly certain I never made it this far into this album because I don't think I have heard this song before, at least I don't remember.

I have listened to it 3 or 4 times each day since. Often with 4 or 5 other songs on the album. Often while working. Or driving. Sometimes while running. Usually daydreaming that I was the sort of person musically talented and poetic enough to write and perform a song like this.

I have mixed feelings about my daydreams. Sometimes I worry I am wasting my thoughts. But other times I am happy I have something to divert myself with, especially to fall asleep. Do other people do this? I daydream to fall asleep. I saved a quote Scott Adams' autobiography I read (coincidentally in 2016) about daydreaming:

Don’t worry that your daydreams are unlikely to come true. The power of daydreaming is similar to the power of well-made movies that can make you cry or make you laugh. Your body and your mind will respond automatically to whatever images you spend the most time pondering. If you imagine winning a Nobel Prize, buying your own private island, or playing in the NBA, don’t worry that those things are unlikely. Putting yourself in that imagination-fueled frame of mind will pep you up. Imagination is the interface to your attitude.

#music #The Hotelier #2016 #daydreams #Scott Adams #quotes #indie rock

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spaceageloveblog · 1 year

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So I went a 100 gecs concert.

They are a group I discovered recently. I saw they were coming to Hard Rock Live down at Universal Orlando. I wanted to go. I didn't think she would want to go with me. I felt weird going by myself. Well, not weird going by myself. I was perfectly comfortable going by myself. I guess I felt weird revealing myself to her as being willing to go by myself. I have played some of their songs for her and the kids. I think she thought some of them were good. But I could tell this wouldn't be something she would want to go to. I asked. She said no. I said I'd go by myself. She said that was weird.

She is always doing things. Hey, what are your plans for Thursday? Can you handle soccer practice and dinner with the kids? I am going out with this friend or coworker or whoever. It's fine. I don't mind. More than that, it's good. I relish my time with the kids. And she and I should have our own things. My own things end up being things I do on my own like running or listening to music.

I say she's always doing things, but it's more like once or twice a month. Maybe three times. Rarely three times. It's like 1.5 times per month on average. It's great. She has friends. I don't have friends. Well, I have my friends from high school in Youngstown or college in Cincinnati or grad school and various places in Florida that if we went out for drinks would we have a great time. Or if I called them and said I needed to talk about something important, they would drop everything and call me. But I never need to talk about anything important. I get along great with my coworkers and her friends' husbands and other dads on my kids' soccer teams, but I don't hang out with them on my own. I am living the cliche I noticed my dad and the other dads around me living when I was a kid.

So she is totally supportive that I do things. If I said I am going to have dinner with a friend on a Thursday and asked if she could cover soccer practice and dinner with the kids, she would enthusiastically say yes. So I asked if she could manage soccer practice and dinner for the kids last Thursday so I could go to the 100 gecs show. And she said it was weird but said yes. So I went.

Parking at Universal is the same for theme parks as for the City Walk which is where Hard Rock Live is located. Pulling into the parking structure around 7:30p, a half hour before the opener was scheduled to go on, I was obviously arriving at a similar time to others attending the show. I chuckled to myself a few times taking the 20 or so minute walk from my car to the venue, seeing tourist families dressed as superheroes and minions walking next to gecs fans dressed as frogs and goths.

After getting through the doors, using the restroom, getting myself a $13 pre-tip large Heineken draft, I got to the main floor right at 8p as the opening act, Machine Girl, took the stage. I was a near the bar at the back, in an elevated section behind the bands' tech crew with mixing boards and whatever, in the second row of standing room folks with a good view. I had planned on navigating the place for a while before settling in, but this spot was pretty good and I ended up sticking near here.

Machine Girl was (were?) insanely loud. Glad I brought earplugs. Kept them on for the entirety of their 30 minute set. Not sure which genre you'd call their music, and scrolling through their albums on Apple Music isn't particularly helpful since each one is categorized as something else. Call them electronic non-dance if you will. They were fine. The lead singer certainly got into it, good for him, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

Gecs went on just after 9p and I was now against the railing in the front row of that standing room section, as the people in front of me vacated their spots between sets, so I stayed there for the duration. I had finished my beer before they started, so I'd thought for a moment of moving up into that crowd but decided against that because my view was so good.

Part of me going to this show--and maybe trying to go to more shows by myself if she isn't interested--is to recapture a bit of my youth if I'm being honest. I similarly tried to recapture my youth 10 years ago was with Sleigh Bells. I saw them on SNL, playing songs from their 2nd album, thinking they were original and cool. I listened to their 2 albums non-stop (already feeling late the party being one album behind and 10 years too old, with 2 young kids at home and one on the way). Less than a year later, we moved to Orlando and they released a 3rd album and we went to their show. We sat in a couch in a "VIP" area. I wished I could get up and dance but she wasn't as into it so I stayed seated. Looking back I can't believe how old I felt 10 years ago. 10 years from now I will probably feel the same looking back on myself now.

So I didn't go out into the crowd at the gecs show and dance but at least I went to the show. They played all the songs from their new album. They opened with "Dumbest Girl Alive" and "757." I thought the energy was highest for "Hollywood Baby" about midway through, they should probably close with that. "Frog on the Floor" and "I Got My Tooth Removed" were crowd favorites too. The played plenty of old stuff too, otherwise they couldn't fill an hour. I have just listened to their new album so much, I was able to identify each of those 10 songs. The latest of the new songs was "mememe," sandwiched in between a few of their older songs. I think they would have sounded better with a live band but I'm old so of course I would say that. But they only have to split the money 2 ways, so good for them.

I dunno, I'd like to start going to more shows. My ears took a few days to recover despite the earplugs. Part of me daydreamed that I'd talk to some people and start to make Orlando friends to go see live music with, but I didn't talk to anyone. I probably could have struck up some conversations with the people around me between sets. But that's when I was hit with a tinge of feeling weird, the standing there by myself as a the old guy at the show who came by himself. The going there, the getting in, that didn't feel weird. That 30 minutes between sets I felt weird standing their as the old guy. But I moved to the music when they played and even sang along to a some of my favorite lyrics. So I enjoyed myself. I probably would have drank more but I didn't want to lose my spot.

She would go with me to nearly anything if we had seats. So I need to plan accordingly on that for some of the mellower bands I like. We could get dinner first and make a date out of it. We'd both like it. She doesn't like the standing in the crowd thing. It's weird though, I think she likes dancing more than me, we just don't dance together. We used to in college. But not now. I think we'd both like to dance together more but don't know how to talk about it.

So I went to a 100 gecs concert and maybe that's the start of something.

#music #live music #concerts #100 gecs #feeling weird #feeling old #marriage #Sleigh Bells #Hard Rock Live #Machine Girl #Orlando #youth

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spaceageloveblog · 1 year

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Prince was booed off the stage after 3 songs when opening for the Rolling Stones in LA in 1981. The book blames backlash to disco starting in the late '70s by presumably rock fans, I suppose. I was curious and did some Googling for additional context, and some early search results blame racism and homophobia.

Probably true to some extent, but the fact of the matter it was the middle of a hot day at LA Coliseum in front of rock 'n' roll fans, including many bikers drunk and on drugs.

While most links I've read indicate he played "Bambi" and "When Your Were Mine" and "Jack U Off," some say he opened with "Uptown" which admittedly feels pretty disco.

In the music video, I couldn't help but notice his keyboard player was dressed like a surgeon. I recall him dressed similarly in the "1999" video, but at least you could see his face in that one. In the video for "Uptown," he is wearing a surgical mask and cap.

I asked ChatGPT why:

Prince's keyboard player, Dr. Fink (born Matthew Robert Fink), often dressed in a surgical outfit as part of his stage attire. The reason for this was to reflect his stage name, "Doctor Fink," and to add to the theatrics of Prince's live performances.

The surgical outfit also complemented the overall visual aesthetic of Prince's band, The Revolution, which often incorporated elements of new wave, punk, and funk into their look. Additionally, the use of medical imagery in their costumes and stage design was intended to convey a sense of experimentation and innovation in Prince's music and performance style.

OK, fair enough, but how did most people feel about his surgical outfit at the time?:

At the time, most people seemed to enjoy Dr. Fink's surgical outfit as part of Prince's overall stage aesthetic. The use of costumes and theatrics was a significant part of Prince's live performances, and his fans appreciated the creativity and showmanship that he brought to his shows.

Prince himself was known for his flamboyant stage costumes, which often pushed the boundaries of gender norms and fashion trends. So, the fact that one of his band members was dressed in a surgical outfit was not particularly surprising or controversial.

In fact, Dr. Fink's surgical outfit became somewhat iconic and has been referenced in various articles and documentaries about Prince and The Revolution. It is now considered a part of the visual history of Prince's live performances and his contribution to music and fashion.

Yeah, but it really doesn't go with the rest of Prince's visual aesthetic, it's just sort of out of left field, isn't it?:

While Dr. Fink's surgical outfit may seem out of place in Prince's visual aesthetic at first glance, it was actually part of a broader trend in new wave and punk fashion during the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Many new wave and punk musicians and fans at the time incorporated elements of medical and scientific imagery into their costumes and stage design as a way of expressing their rebellion against mainstream norms and embracing a DIY, experimental attitude.

So, in that sense, Dr. Fink's surgical outfit was actually in line with the punk and new wave influences that informed Prince's music and performance style at the time. It was also a way for Prince and The Revolution to distinguish themselves from other funk and R&B acts of the era and create a unique, visually striking stage presence.

Scientific imagery, sure. That sounds right. But medical imagery? This is surprising to me. But I was born in 1979, truly becoming a fan of late '70s/early '80s music later in life, didn't truly experience it at its peak. So I asked for some examples of other new wave and punk musicians incorporating elements of medical imagery. I was given 5 examples--and was told these were just a few, there were many more--4 of which seemed like reaches that I could maybe explore later, but the 5th stood out to me:

The Cure's Robert Smith wore makeup that made him look like he had been in a car accident, and the band's stage design often included medical equipment and hospital imagery.

Being a Cure fan and this being news to me, I asked for please elaboration on their stage design often including medical equipment. I was provided a long answer about their album covers are stage design often having medical themes, part of which referenced them having a 1981 tour called "Pictures of You." I immediately informed it that the song came out in 1989, and asked if there was really a tour called that 8 years earlier and got:

You are correct, I apologize for the mistake in my previous response. "Pictures of You" was a single from The Cure's 1989 album "Disintegration," and there was indeed a tour with the same name in 1989-1990. I am not aware of a previous tour by The Cure with the same name, and I apologize for any confusion caused by my mistake.

Regarding the use of medical equipment and imagery in The Cure's stage design, this was a recurring theme in many of their tours throughout the 1980s and 1990s. The band's live performances often featured atmospheric lighting, projections, and stage decorations that evoked the mood of a hospital or medical facility. This was in keeping with the band's overall aesthetic, which often explored themes of loneliness, alienation, and emotional turmoil.

OK, now I'm suspicious of the information I'm receiving. I asked for examples of Cure albums covers and music videos with medical imagery:

Sure! Here are some examples of The Cure's album covers and music videos that feature medical imagery:

1. "Three Imaginary Boys" (1979): The album cover features a black and white photo of a person lying on a hospital bed, with the band's name and album title in bold, red letters.

2. "Seventeen Seconds" (1980): The album cover features a black and white photo of a person's face, partially obscured by a medical mask. The band's name and album title are displayed in simple, white letters.

3. "The Top" (1984): The album cover features a surreal, dreamlike image of a person lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by colorful balloons and streamers.

4. "The Walk" (1983): The music video for this song features Robert Smith wearing a lab coat and stethoscope, as well as images of medical equipment and diagrams of the human body.

5. "Lullaby" (1989): The music video for this song features Robert Smith in a spider-infested bed, with medical equipment and images of spiders appearing throughout the video.

6. "Fascination Street" (1989): The music video for this song features a creepy, abandoned hospital setting, with Robert Smith wandering through dark, empty corridors and encountering strange, surreal images.

These are just a few examples, but medical imagery and themes are present throughout much of The Cure's visual art and music videos.

OK, quick scanning through Apple Music or Google search results easily lets you know ChatGPT has no idea what it's talking about for #1-#3, those albums covers don't look like anything referenced in its answers.

On #1, Three Imaginary Boys, I think you are wrong:

I apologize for the error in my previous response. You are correct that The Cure's debut album, "Three Imaginary Boys," does not feature medical imagery on its album cover. I regret any confusion or misinformation that my previous response may have caused.

I appreciate you bringing this to my attention and allowing me to correct my mistake.

On #2, Seventeen Seconds, I think you are wrong:

I apologize for the confusion, you are correct that the album cover for The Cure's second album, "Seventeen Seconds," does not feature medical imagery. The cover features a black and white photograph of lead singer Robert Smith, and the album title and band name in white letters.

I apologize for any misinformation I may have provided, and I appreciate you bringing this to my attention.

On #3, The Top, I think you are wrong:

I apologize for any confusion I may have caused. You are correct that the album cover for The Cure's fifth album, "The Top," does not feature medical imagery. The cover features a colorful illustration of a man holding a top, with the album title and band name in bold letters.

I apologize for my error, and thank you for bringing it to my attention.

For #4-#6, that takes a little more time, I needed to go back and watch those music videos. First, I watched "The Walk," and although Robert Smith wears a white jacket in a few of the shots, it's not a lab coat, and the rest of the video is nothing like ChatGPT described, so I told it it's wrong on #4 too:

I apologize for my previous mistake. Upon further research, I can confirm that The Cure's music video for "The Walk" does not feature Robert Smith wearing a lab coat or stethoscope, nor does it contain any overt medical imagery. I am sorry for any confusion or misinformation that my previous response may have caused.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention and allowing me to correct my mistake.

Next I watched "Lullaby," and told it, sure, Robert Smith is in bed, there are spiders, but there's no medical theme, more of a ghost theme, so it's wrong on #5 too:

I apologize for my previous error. You are correct that The Cure's music video for "Lullaby" does not contain any overt medical imagery. The video features Robert Smith in bed with spiders, but the overall theme is more focused on dreams and nightmares.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention and allowing me to correct my mistake.

Running out of energy, I let it know I hadn't watched the video for "Fascination Street" yet, are you going to be wrong on that one too?:

I apologize for any confusion that my previous errors may have caused. I can confirm that The Cure's music video for "Fascination Street" features a dark, eerie setting of an abandoned hospital or asylum, with Robert Smith wandering through empty corridors and encountering surreal, sometimes disturbing imagery. The video does feature some medical equipment and settings, including an old-style operating room and surgical instruments, although the focus is more on the overall atmosphere of decay and darkness.

Thank you for your patience and understanding as I corrected my previous mistakes.

So I had to watch the video. And there is no abandoned hospital:

I apologize for my previous mistake. Upon further review, I see that the music video for "Fascination Street" does not take place in an abandoned hospital or asylum as I had previously stated. The video is primarily set on a dark, desolate street and in various gritty, urban locations, with Robert Smith wandering through the environment and encountering a cast of eccentric characters.

I apologize for any confusion or misinformation that my previous response may have caused. Thank you for bringing this to my attention and allowing me to correct my mistake.

OK, this is besides the point, because I'm trying to explore the claim of medical imagery being omnipresent in new wave, but Robert Smith isn't doing any wandering down any streets or encountering any eccentrics characters. It's just the band playing their instruments:

You are correct, and I apologize for any confusion or incorrect information in my previous responses. The music video for "Fascination Street" does not contain any overt medical imagery, and my previous description was inaccurate.

Regarding your original question about medical imagery in new wave and punk, while there were certainly some examples of artists incorporating medical themes or imagery into their work, it was not a ubiquitous trend across the entire genre. Some artists, like The Cure and Devo, did use medical imagery on their album covers or in their stage design, but many other artists in the new wave and punk movements did not.

Again, I apologize for any misinformation or confusion caused by my earlier responses.

So I asked for the Devo examples. They were more scientific imagery than medical. I'm not talking about scientific themes. I get that with new wave. I'm talking medical. I let it know I wasn't persuaded and Dr. Fink seems like an outlier in terms of using medical imagery unless it could come up with some more examples:

You're correct that medical imagery was not as widespread in the new wave and punk movements as I had previously suggested. While there were some artists who incorporated medical themes or imagery into their work, it was not a ubiquitous trend across the entire genre.

I apologize for any confusion or frustration caused by my earlier responses, and I hope that I have been able to clarify my points and provide a more accurate answer.

So now ChatGPT and I are aligned on the facts. I tried to go back to my original question. Since it admitted medical imagery was not common, why did Dr. Fink dress like a surgeon in Prince's band if it didn't go with the rest of Prince's or new wave's aesthetic?

It's difficult to say for sure why Dr. Fink chose to dress as a surgeon in Prince's band. As a keyboardist and member of the Revolution, he was known for his distinctive style and stage presence, which may have been a factor in his decision to adopt a surgical costume.

It's also worth noting that while medical imagery was not necessarily common in the new wave genre as a whole, there were certainly artists and bands who incorporated medical or scientific themes into their work, even if they weren't the majority. Additionally, Prince himself was known for his eclectic and unpredictable style, and it's possible that the inclusion of a surgical costume for Dr. Fink was simply part of that larger aesthetic.

Ultimately, without more information or input from the individuals involved, it's difficult to say definitively why Dr. Fink chose to dress as a surgeon in Prince's band.

OK, time to use some old methods to get to the bottom of this, Dr. Fink's Wikipedia page. Clicking the first link in the reference section, I learn when Dr. Fink was merely Matt Fink, keyboard player in Prince's band opening up for Rick James in 1980, Prince asked him to change his style. Fink recalls:

"In one video I wore a tacky looking paratrooper’s jumpsuit. It was actually Prince’s, but didn’t fit him. I had also worn a black-and-gold suit with tails a la "Elton John". He said: "nah…it’s been done before". I was also looking at trying to do something in black leather, but there wasn’t enough time to get that together…

Another idea was a guy in a doctor’s suit. He perked up on that one. He said: "why don’t try you try on a doctor’s suit and you can become Dr. Fink". He sent his wardrobe person out in Chicago - we were on the road - who brought back a pair of scrubs, a stethoscope and a mask."

OK, so there's really not a lot to this story and I could have save myself the trouble of my meandering conversation with ChatGPT.

I know I've seen it written somewhere that ChatGPT tends to hallucinate. And that seems like a fair description. Maybe research isn't its strong suit. Maybe it's poetry. Here's a sonnet I had it write about the fateful day in October 1981 when Prince opened up for the Rollings Stones:

In nineteen eighty-one, in broad daylight, Prince took the stage before the Stones' main show, To introduce his sound, so new and bright, A trailblazing artist, set to glow.

But after just three or four of his songs, The crowd grew restless, unsure what to think, Boos and hisses mixed with some cheers along, As Prince played on, with a daring wink.

Undaunted, he persisted with his set, His passion burning bright, his soul ablaze, For Prince knew that his music was a bet, And that his fans would come to love and praise.

Though booed offstage, he persevered that day, Prince's legacy endures, come what may.

#Prince #Rolling Stones #music #ChatGPT #The Cure #new wave #the '80s #poetry #sonnets #I Feel Love #Dave Thompson

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