“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.

You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are

Who is this jersey Mike and why’s he got so many subs

I’m sending you off to Rupaul’s drag race like it’s the pound and you’re not welcome home until you’ve won and rightfully earned yourself a long, wet, three person kiss from Rupaul, Miss America, and Saint Peter all at once!

The Easter bunny

“Daddy, who’s the Easter bunny and what is his connection to the Abrahamic religion system?” Ronald, the husband, the father, the warrior, gazed down gently at little Michael, his youngest son. His deep voice that overwhelmed the boys ears with hope and wonder spoke. “Let me tell you a story, son. Do you remember the story of the manger? Of our lord Jesus Christ?” Michael nodded excitedly. He had always loved that story. “Well, there’s something I’ve never told you before about that story. A detail I left out. But today, my boy, you’re finally old enough to learn about Mary’s second son. You see, after Jesus was killed, Mary decided it was best for her youngest to run away and to take up a new identity. He lived for a very long time and changed a lot of lives. Lives like yours, Michael. Thankfully he stayed hidden for centuries before he was tragically cut short by an evil man named Pleurisy. Pleurisy was jealous of the man and his strengths. His godlike ability to pull light from the sky and control it as if a part of his own hand made him feel powerless, and when a man feels powerless he can do horrible things. This man was a very large public figure, so his death was covered up as to not cause country-wide outrage.” The other 4 of the sliver fox’s children had gathered around his feet in a circle, listening intently and staring up at him in awe of the story. Ronald had always had such a way of painting pictures with his words. The sights he spoke into existence as simply as tying a knot seemed the gather in towards his towering form and softly floated and buzzed around the seven heads in the room. “well, the man died long after his family and had no one to guide him to heaven to be amongst the others of God’s children. So, he lay waiting in his casket for that very special day that his older brother would rise to join him in the afterlife, and one day, that day came. On easter morning, the man had leapt into the stars, leaving his body and his life behind. Now, children. The Easter bunny. Which one wanted to hear about him? You? The adopted one, right?” Michael spoke again with visible tears on his face “I’m adopted?” They stared at each other for a moment “ Yeah… Anyway, a rabbit priest, a priestly rabbit came hopping along a few years later with quite an intent for disruption. He dug a burrow into the thick mound of dirt he had claimed as his own only to meet something hard. ‘Metal? Cement?’ He thought. Wood. The rabbit has dug so far down that he had reached the man’s casket. And being a curious rabbit, he climbed inside to see if the man had been a practicing Christian. No cross was found around the neck of the picked clean bone he found there. The rabbit was disappointed. It was getting cold out and so he climbed inside of the forms ribcage, hoping he wouldn’t mind the company. The days turned into nights until the rabbit had realized it had become Easter yet again. As the skeleton began to move on its own it pulled the animal out from inside it by the ear and asked it what it had been doing in there. The rabbit assured him that he meant no harm and that he was just very cold. They made a deal that since the man couldn’t come down to earth all year, that the rabbit could keep his remains safe and dedicate his life to spreading his message. They both agreed and they shook on it. It was a beautiful spring day when the rabbit decided to bring the skeleton outside and disguised it inside costume of himself. He egged people houses and he told people to ‘suck it!!’ And all was well in America. And that man, oh how he smiles down upon all of you kids, I just know it.” “Really? How would you know?” Ronald Reagan glanced up at his husband Benjamin Franklin Christ and tucked a strand of his long, silver hair behind his ear. Their smiles two halves of the same ring. “Oh, I know.”

What if a bird flies up my ass what do I do then do I just have to go to the er and fart it back out or something you think I have the money for that you swine you liberal commie fraud I salute whichever man puts an end to this pansy pussy popping pageant.

You’re like a little ant I’m gonna put you in my toothbrush so you think you’re stuck in the woods but everyone will know that you aren’t and they’ll laugh at you

The door door to door salesman and the door knob door to door salesman ahould be required to have an oiled up testicular torsion-off to the death in my living room in order to fairly decide who gets to install the door into the frame (they keep the hinges and screws behind their little ears)

Markiplier in the reverse bear trap

I just think it would be so awesome sauce if there was a secret underground commune hidden under an old abandoned subway system that were born without feet and only drank horse milk but sadly this is only a hypothetical PURELY FICTIONAL. DO NOT look for the commune it DOES NOT EXIST and if you try to find it you’ll look really silly and everyone will point and laugh!!! Again not real

Omg I just i think i just I

I just realized Like most people have never heard of Hole Island and I think that’s so ridiculous cause I thought it was a really common place to go to during summers growing up but I guess I was wrong. (I guess this generation’s parents don’t care about good clean American fun anymore 🙄)Lmk if you remember going here cause I wanna find y’all hole island goers. It was this really allusive island that had like a specific passcode to get in but a lot of people found out about it so it got really popular as a vacation spot. It’s the main destination for busses and boats so all you gotta do is get on and go up to the driver and do the secret pass code (you gotta climb onto his lap while he’s driving and give him a long, wet, kiss and if he doesn’t crash you get to go) and you get launched from the bus onto this zip line that leads to hole island. You get there and you gotta bypass the no girls allowed gate (girls have cooties and the island is gay) and if you’re a girl you get zapped with the “randomized fate ray” and if you’re a guy or a they you get to enjoy the beautiful beauty of hole island . It’s got alot of holes and in one of them is the zombie ghost thing of former American president Ronald Reagan and like the main attraction of the island is that you get to skin him alive every morning and by every night his skin grows right back so the cycle can repeat forever! When I was a little kid I remembered wandering off into the woods after the daily Slut Skinning (that’s what we liked to called it) and I found what I think might’ve been the literal fountain of youth. It was being circled by helicopters bc the government is full of fun hating squares but I figured out that if you drink enough of the water fast enough that you can actually de-evolve so far that you don’t pass as a human anymore and so therefore the law doesn’t apply to you. Anyway hmu

/j

76 years ago I burnt down the White House and nobody noticed.