ARTEMIS POTNIA THERON

I don’t think that’s the correct way to handle animals Artemis

Hephaestus: out here living my best life with my wife ☺️

Some forge cyclops: Ares and Aphrodite are getting stabbed

Hephaestus: This ain’t about them

My favorite bit in OSP

My favorite bit in OSP

The Thracians, enraged by the murder of their king, attacked the Trojan queen, hurling stones and missiles, but she chased the stones they threw, snapping at them with a harsh growling, and, readying her jaws for words, barked when she tried to speak. The place is still there, and takes its name, Cynossema, the Monument of the Bitch, from this, and she still howls mournfully amongst the Sithonian fields, remembering endlessly her ancient suffering.

Her fate moved the Trojans and her enemies the Greeks, and it moved all the gods as well, yes, all, so that even Juno, Jove’s sister-wife, said that Hecuba did not merit such misfortune.

-Ovid’s Metamorphoses, Book 13

Y’know it’s funny how Athena wasn’t the only one who was like “Y’know I dislike the Trojans but even I think this is a bit much”.

Would you rather they add Hera to Hades II or they add Aglaia and your job is to get her and Hephaestus together while helping Aphrodite and Hephaestus with their divorce?

Hephaestus’s back and forth with Kratos is accurate , they had a similar dynamic in Prometheus Bound but I HAAAAATE how his relationship with Aphrodite is depicted, the only times he was actually depicted as a pathetic simp is in Latin literature with Vulcan where one time Venus told Mars that despite betraying Vulcan he’d still do anything for her even make weapons for her lover. But I cannot imagine most depictions of Hephaestus being like that, since the moment he found out she cheated he divorced her (Hera would never).

Plus he has a perfectly stable relationship with Aglaia so like whyyyy are modern writers keeping them together?

If your understanding of Hephaestus as a character and his relationship with Aphrodite comes solely from the GOW Games maybe stfu idk

Compare and contrast with Hera (if you go with the raised by Oceanus and Tethys origin) where she had to compete for her parents time and affection with thousands of other siblings.

„Come, do for me A task I’ll tell you of, and that fine toy Of Zeus I’ll give you (when he was a boy With boyish ways in the Idaean cave, His dear nurse Adrasteia made and gave It to him). It is a well-rounded ball. … All its zones are gold, and round Each one of them a double seam is bound. Each stitch is hidden; over everything Is a dark-blue spiral. Toss it – it will zing Just like a flaming star.” (Apollonios Rhodios, Argonautica)

Ok this is cute, but seriously, how many Olympians actually got to be kids and have toys made specially for them by their loving nurses?

Theseus ruins the entire timeline of Greek mythology

He really does like don’t even get me started.

I imagine Hephaestus attempting to assault Zeus’ favourite child probably didn’t help their relationship much

Maybe, but Zeus did try to marry off Athena to Hephaestus in some sources (and in a scholia I can’t find rn it was the reason why Athena joined Hera’s coup) so idk if he cares THAT much considering he himself doesn’t know the first thing about consent.

What is your headcanon or interpretation of Zeus and Hephaestus relationship? Do you think Zeus hates Hephaestus? (but not like the same level of his hate with Ares). Or maybe they just tolerate each other bec Zeus needs Hephaestus talent?

They tolerate each other, Hephaestus doesn’t see the point in being hostile to Zeus (last time that happened he was thrown off a mountain), and Zeus considers Hephaestus useful so he keeps him around. Zeus didn’t like how Hephaestus divorced Aphrodite since he was the one to set them up together and he thinks they’re being ungrateful. Hephaestus is the most like Hera (sometimes she’s considered his only parent so i imagine he’s kinda a clone of her) and bc of that Zeus goes back and forth from liking him to hating him.

Hephaestus never fully got over being thrown off Olympus for defending Hera, so Zeus set him up with Aphrodite to make peace, but as we can see it didn’t work.

I find it interesting how in the aftermath of the sacking of Troy, Athena at least in many versions shows some level of regret and punishes the Achaeans for their actions, while Hera still appeared remorseless and in the Roman versions continued to persecute Aeneas and the other Trojan survivors while Athena left them alone.

Yeah it’s pretty interesting

which myth that made you angry at Hera

Alcmene and Callisto they did not deserve that shit, also helping the Achaeans sack Troy. Io too I guess but that myth was kinda funny with how she turned into a cow so it cancels it out.

In fact that’s how I feel about a lot of her myths, if I find humor in them I can’t be too upset.

Can we talk about how Apemosyne,a literally mortal, outran a god? And not just any god but Hermes who’s known to be really fast. Like ppl only talk about this myth to talk about how shitty Hermes can be but we seem to brush off the fact that Apemosyne outran him???

Honestly we need more villain Hermes. Zeus and Apollo have at least a handful of adaptations where they're the bad guys but Hermes? None. For all the shit he does, it's surprising no one has made him a villain or even antagonist.

Omg YES. I think the reason a lot of ppl don’t think of Hermes as a villain is bc he’s often relegated to the comic relief or an exposition machine. Closest I think was in Circe by Madeline Miller, he’s charismatic (and not really an antagonist) but still very much a pervert like in mythology.

Zeus: "my two favorite kids, my wife and my brother are all meeting up, and they never get along normally! I bet they're talking about how much they love me"

Hera: "and so begins the first Meeting of the "let's Kill Zeus Alliance" the agenda for today: killing Zeus"

On either side [sc. of the door] there were golden and silver dogs, immortal and unaging forever, which Hephaestus had fashioned with cunning skill to protect the home of Alcinous the great-hearted. (Od. 7.91-94)

Eustathius goes on to suggest that the adjectives 'undying' and 'un-aging' refer not literally to biological life, but rather to the durability of the rust-proof metals from which they were fashioned, and that the dogs were alleged to be the work of Hephaestus solely on account of their excellent workmanship. He does, however, imply that he knows of other testimonia to these hounds when he refers to a certain "silly story" that they were a present from Hera to Poseidon for his help in some attack against Zeus in the Iliad (probably that described at 1.396-406), and that Poseidon gave them in turn to Alcinous. - Hephaestus the Magician and Near Eastern Parallels for Alcinous' Watchdogs by Christopher A. Faraone

Love the idea that after their failed coup against Zeus, Hera is just like: "Oh well, we'll get 'em next time, here are some dope magical robot dogs my son made, just a little something to express my appreciation for helping me try and upturn the order of the cosmos, thanks bro!"