Simple things that I like (◕‿◕✿)

Morning coffee ☕️

I just love having my morning coffee. Even the process of making it seems fun to me. The aroma, the warmth of the heat that radiate through the mug and the magnificent taste of perfectly brewed coffee just gets me. Morning coffee promises new hope on a new day. It’s a good head start to live up the day. The caffeine that rushed in the bloodstream, makes you feel so exuberant and motivated to be productive.

 Reading  📖

Since I’m living the campus life, to read the book of my choice is no longer a priority because I have to catch up with my studies. Whenever I have the time, I’ll read. A friend of mine once said that social media is a plague to one’s mind, and he was right. I personally think that there are so many pressure if you stay online for a long time. So, by reading something, I can get my hands off from my phone. My collections of books represent my personality and development. From YA books that I collected during my childhood and adolescent, to biographies and self-help books that I have now.

Writing  ✍🏼

Oh my God, where should I start? My love of writing had took place in my heart since I was little. I can recall it vividly that before I could even spelled out the words, I often scribbled or made doodles of the cartoon characters that I liked. I had a rough childhood, that was when the idea of having a diary started to pop up. Hence, I often kept my diary along with me. I had trouble getting along with the kids around my age at that time because I was timid, and I was nowhere near a young child that you could call pretty. I was dark skinned and I was very self-conscious about it. How come I was not ashamed about it? Kids were mean enough, even my brother made fun of me for my looks. Therefore, I write to express how I felt. As a kid, I wasn’t aware that I kept so much in me. Now at the age of 19, I’m a problematic person. Even in my adolescence years I was a problematic person. I don’t want to expect what adulthood would hold for me.  When I was 17, epiphany hit me that I shouldn’t just write about stuffs that seems to be depressive, no progress and no happy ending at all. Since I write to heal and to improve myself, I should write to inspire too.

 Watching my favourite shows 📺

To be honest, my favourite shows are mainly cartoons. Those who know me well can guess one of my favourite show at instant. I kind of expressive about it because well, when you fangirling of something, you can’t really keep it to yourself. I’m a big fan of Steven Universe 🤩 . Like really. I’m at the point where I’m so obsess of this show. For the first few episodes, it seemed like a typical cartoon shows that served you a slice of life content. But if you got through the first ten episodes, you could see the character development took place. Character development, that what makes cartoons these days seems relevant and memorable. Modern day cartoons need proper character development because I don’t think it’s the best for cartoons to stay goofy and sometimes act all silly for the rest of the seasons. Moreover what makes me love SU so much is the mass amount of representation in the show. From body image, people of colour, ethnicity and to the extend where they included LQBTQ+. Well, I have to admit that there are some elements of the shows that I disagree of. For example, I don’t think that Rabecca Sugar (the creator of this show) should keep milking the lgbt community with multitudes shipping of lesbian couples too much, because I personally think that it will get boring.  I have nothing against lgbt, but I think there are so much more to represent in the show. Apart from that, a handful of deep thoughts are being put into this show. Kids might not get it at first, but teenagers and adults will certainly do. For instance, the show portray a lot of episodes that concern about self-love and to be proud for who you’re. In the episode Change Your Mind that was aired on 22nd of Jan, there was an immense amount self-love and acceptance were being portray. 

On the other hand, I kind of hoping that there will be more representation of people with different beliefs in cartoon shows. For example, in We Bare Bears, I spotted a Muslim woman with a hijab as the background character in the show 🧕🏻 I was kind of surprised to see that because it’s uncommon to see Muslim representation in western modern cartoons. Its 2019, I think children should be given the way to normalize those who are different than them and value the beauty of diversity.

There you go. Few of the little things that I love and enjoy doing them. I have to admit, some of my friends are concern of my caffeine intake. I appreciate their concern, and I take it as a reminder for me to always check on my coffee intake. But some people I know are quite judgmental of my hobbies. Like collecting Funko Pops of my favourite characters and buying construction bricks are view to be ridiculous to them. Well, I don’t care much about it. But I have to admit that sometimes narrow-mindedness can get on your nerves. People are born unique and different. We just have to accept and respect them for who they are (ᵔᴥᵔ)

listen to yourself and watch your language. instead of saying “sorry for ranting”, say “thank you for listening to me”. instead of saying “sorry that i am overemotional”, say “thank you for trying to understand something difficult”. instead of saying “sorry if i am a burden”, say “thank you for the time and energy you invest in our friendship”. good things will come when you realize you are not an apology.

sesetengah komuniti melayu kat tumblr memang bodoh

Some days I need the music, and some days I need the lyrics.

Who’s ready to DIE in 1 day when “Change Your Mind” airs.

Getting Better

I never was a person who would romanticize on being sad. I did my research and I learned the consequences on frequently letting ourselves in deep forlorn depression would be mentally torturous.  The past few months of my life had been a social experiment for myself. I got inspired in so many different ways, and I inspired others too. I learned that whenever I hit rock bottom, a good cry was all that is needed in order to get my shit back together. I got up from the bed with the same routine along with new purposes.

But it was undeniable that sometimes I blamed myself for all the inadequacy. I lowered down my standards because I thought that I was not a worthy human being. I pushed many people away, constantly telling myself that I was the toxic one. I apologized for something that was never my fault and felt really guilty about it.

Most of the time, I forgot to be grateful for the person I’m right now.  

Most of the time my self-consciousness out powered the confidence that I build.

I often had these intrusive thoughts that kept telling me that I was not a good friend, nobody’s favorite and a second choice.

I could never felt so pathetic in my life.

I’m not a person who romanticize on being sad.

These feelings, were unhealthy. I couldn’t let these thoughts gnawing me.

I shouldn’t ran away from these feelings and thoughts.

I had to face them, like a real person.

Trust me, I developed many coping mechanism in order to get better.

God knows, how much my heart earned for peace and serenity.

I know, that I’m trying until this moment.

As a person with a belief system, I do pray. Constantly reminding myself of His mercy.

I tend to keep myself busy with the new hobbies I developed.

I rather spend hours on the bed with my laptop, binge watching YouTube videos than not getting up from the bed and have no purpose to live the day.

I try my best, to assist my parents at work because my presence will contribute to the manpower.

And I write, I read and I learn to fill in the emptiness in my heart,

To occupy the space in my mind with knowledge instead of the destructive thoughts.

          ✨

 I’m striving to get better.

To be a better person.

Trust me.

-s

helloooo everybody

“I had to decide what I was going to do, and what I was going to be. I was standing there, waiting for someone to do something, till I realized the person I was waiting for was myself.”

— Markus Zusak, Underdog

A woman with a brain

but on the face, nothing much to exhibit

because she is not, fundamentally inept

only those who are lucky enough

can see her beauty within.

This woman is becoming more confident,

and emotionally intelligent.

                     🌷

-s

My dear, God never given anything in this world that you can’t handle.

My dear, everything in this world is temporary,

and so does the discomfort in the heart.

My dear, breath and remember your existence matter.

My dear, look at yourself, you’ve been through a lot and trust me,

you will survive whatever is coming.

Have faith and everything will work out for the best

🍃

-s

🍂

Strength, let it grow

It’s normal, to be in a state of sorrow

but please, for not too long

remember, it’s just a feeling my dear.

Hard to stop, just let it flow.

You see those clouds? It’s a sign.

It’s always been a sign.

Anytime, it shall rain.

Clouds everywhere, so many of them,

we don’t care much to acknowledge them.

Clouds everywhere, like our past, present, and future problems. They are everywhere above our heads.

“we don’t care much to acknowledge them”

We just continue with our lives.

When it storms, you feel cold, you feel tired, you feel the pain,

That’s life my dear.

When spring comes, the flowers grow.

You grow too. Let it bloom my dear.

See, now you’re bold.

-s

“اُنُطُقْ جَمالاً أو تَجَمّلْ بالسُكوتْ” “Talk with beauty or beautify yourself with silence”

Football is the world’s most important unimportant thing.

Hello guys, I’ll be inactive for a few days due to college. Just want to let u know that I’m still alive.

Much love,

-s