moved my bookshelves around and now sitting at my desk feels like sitting in a library

do u ever like feel so absurdly reluctant to do things. like it ain’t even procrastination or laziness anymore u just physically and mentally can’t bring yourself to do anything. u really, really just wanna binge watch youtube until your mind numbs completely or lie on the floor and stare into the abyss. and it’s not like u don’t have “motivation” or anything or even that u don’t want to do it, it’s just. u can’t. idk how ppl just. Do Things. get up and go at it. i have to have an entire existential crisis and like, watch a goddamn motivational film or something first before i do the smallest thing. and it’s june for fuck’s sake.

10.09.2020 beige academia

4/10/2020 | I have a headache and stayed up too late playing Among Us ✌🏻

進み続けてさえいれば、遅くとも関係ない。

today has been the most productive day in a long time. finally got some assignments done for my online class that i was procrastinating and had a very productive japanese study session ✨

ig: isa.layne

‏للابد انفاس مساء الشتاء تروقني فعلاً"

went back to the writing space and wrote 10 pages, only 3 of which will make it past “editing me”, listened to fine line the whole time and drank far, far too many cups of coffee.

My Month Without Social Media

ㅤFour weeks ago I watched that one Matt D’Avella video called “I quit social media for 30 days” and felt inspired that much I’ve decided to try it myself.

ㅤAt first it seamed impossible, to quit almost all I had for… what? But once you understand how social media influence your life, you understand, that it’s almost vital to have this detox. As for me, I spent a huge amount of time just surfing through that freaking explore page, was late quite often because I disappeared for the whole mornings in Twitter or just didn’t get enough sleep reading that aus till 5 am. So yeah, I thought I needed to change that.

ㅤFirst week was probably the hardest. I kept swiping through my phone looking for something, but there was almost nothing. To be honest, I did cheated a little - I returned to Tumblr, as I believed it didn’t bring that much harm. Although I was spending some time on Tumblr, it wasn’t as consuming as another apps at all! I looked through my tags or timeline, it took 10-15 minutes, one time it was 25, still not as much as hours I spent watching Instagram edits. Two times I looked through BTS’s Twitter, as I needed that selfies so bad! However, I didn’t fall in that hole, first time I used mobile browser, the other - desktop browser without logging in. Then, it became easier, I just get used to it. 

ㅤOf course, there were some difficulties: sometimes I wanted to post a picture or story so bad, I considered giving everything up! I wanted to see some of my friends’ stories or look through some news and memes. Still, I don’t regret anything. I downloaded Google News for being in touch with the world and watched some memes videos time to time, so in the result I didn’t feel bad at all!

ㅤNow, as I’m going to return to Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat, I don’t have that much desire to watch all those stories or see all those tweets. I just don’t. I’ll probably unfollow a lot of people too, as I realised I spent so much time caring about someone, who doesn’t bring anything good in my life. Also, I’m going to restrict me a little, still, cause I’m not sure I won’t go back again to that lie-in-bed-for-three-hours-with-my-phone state. Maybe some block apps will help me with that.

ㅤFinally, I’d encourage everyone to at least try. It can be day, week, month, it doesn’t matter. I just want you to feel that time you always had but never noticed.

ㅤThat was my experience.

here i am sitting in a cafe full of inspiration reading another daniel keyes book. perfect.

woke up today and decided to go to another city 🌇 already feel so refreshed, motivated and inspired ✨

ph.by anastasia lisitsyna for orchid22.

fancy (ʷᵒᵒ) place to study today 

♫ harry styles - lights up

things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever

change the color used to highlight text on your laptop

move the pictures on your wall

stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all

slightly vary your commute, even just by one street

change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed

drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real

shower with the lights off, without music

buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room

start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing

wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night

listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015

18 . 07 . 19

Today was incredible. I’m so happy, I can’t even express it with words, ugh. I didn’t finish yesterday’s to do’s (it was raining, so no park 😣). 

Today:

bought my sister a birthday present

went on a job interview and probably have a place now

started insta blog

♫ john powell - where no one goes 

hello (again), world of tumblr!

sorry i was missing (for quite a long time) but i didn’t have any motivation to keep posting (or even living) and especially studying.

but traveled abroad (austria and hungary), went to the summer translation school here in ukraine and now i’m feeling kinda inspired to self-develop and learn. hope it won’t go away soon.

♫ bts ft. juice wrld - all night