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ourburningbridges · 10 months

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777

listen to your intuition

honor thy spirit and soul.

bring your dreams into fruition

love yourself as a whole.

- I.F.L 🧿

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ourburningbridges · 10 months

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Crucified by Absence

another poem for the religiously traumatized … in the perspective of my mother who is obsessed with the sound of her own voice.

Forgive me if you’re bored

and not taken by the lord.

Be still and withstand trauma

that I know you can’t afford.

Why would I care for you

while that’s a job for God to do.

Your pain only enrages me

since it means to tell your truth.

You don’t have a choice

as ears without a voice.

Don’t dare to speak your feelings

because all they are is noise.

-I.F.L 👩🏻‍🍼

how can you be so suffocating yet so absent?

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ourburningbridges · 10 months

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ULTIMATE BETRAYAL

a vent letter about self doubt … to the voices in my head and the little girl they used to be 💌

The abandonment was expected. The disapproval was anticipated. The lack of support was inevitable. I knew the day would come where I would allow my friends and family to be a part of my dreams and aspirations. I let my guard down for them and crumbled my walls to permit them full view of my sweetly passionate heart. All is now bitter. How I envisioned the day they would call me crazy or far fetched for having my head in the clouds was nothing like this. Those clouds were mine and mine alone and I should be allowed to dream. Now they’ve finally revealed their beaming hatred upon me and I’ve been left entirely alone. Though, I paid no mind. As I said, the abandonment was expected. I shrugged off their criticism in order to stay true to my soul’s great purpose for the artistry that’s rooted in my being. “I’ll show them all.” I would say. But sinking deeper into the shadows they casted upon me, it’s too dark to find those hopes any longer. The darkness is soaking me in its deafening silence and I fear it’s now swallowed me whole. I’ve been eaten alive by this monster they created and somehow it’s far more brutal than being eaten to death. At least then, I would have an excuse not to pursue these dreams of mine. There’s a part of me that wants to apologize to myself for even writing that last sentence out. “But I thought we would show them all?” She weeps. Now blind and deaf by their poison, I too am contaminated by their doubt. It’s a feeling far worse than any of their criticisms from before. I will repeat it once more. The disapproval was anticipated. I was left alone with nothing more than myself, but even then at least myself was still something. This sickness of my brain pains me greater than anybody else could, because at least it still had a shimmering hope within it. But this is the ultimate deception. I was the one to give myself unconditional support. And yet even I have faded away. I was the one to give myself the courage to continue. And now I’ve lost myself to my own personal doubts and fears. It couldn’t hurt more, because for a final time I shall say it, the lack of support was inevitable. But I never expected my own self to betray me. After all, it was her to have these dreams to begin with.

- I.F.L 💭

never stop dreaming, my love.

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ourburningbridges · 10 months

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Rose Colored Romance

TW: mentions of domestic violence and s/h

all red flags look normal with rose colored glasses… you deserve better.

He knows when to be tender by the swelling of my lips.

Says we’re making love despite the bruising on my hips.

It feels like I’m in heaven every single night we kiss.

But by the day his horrors stay and lets me slit my wrists.

-I.F.L 🥀

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ourburningbridges · 11 months

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the traumatized never lies.

it is okay to reach out for help if you need it. it will haunt you no matter how much you deny it. // poems for the denial

I never thought the horrors would find me.

Yet all they seem to do is define me.

No matter where I run.

What I’ve done.

Locked up tight or free.

I can not hide from me.

- I.F.L 🪞

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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Life’s Beauty Marks

learning to love and embrace your ACNE beauty marks. nature is gorgeous.

i love my blemishes,

a new scar everyday.

my flesh is alive

and that’s okay.

they’re only beauty marks,

graced on the space

on my back, up my shoulders

and on my face.

i love to be alive,

with skin that breathes.

the strength in my guts

puts me at ease.

they’re only natural,

you’re human just like me.

don’t let the vigor on my vessel

be all you see.

-I.F.L 🫁

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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Bunny Beast 🐰

to the little girls that lost their souls when confusing abuse for love due to the manipulation of their mothers and fathers. i know you feel dirty. but you are still beautiful. i hope you heal.

she’s a pure white rabbit but inside she’s a wreck.

hates all violence but loves rough sex.

kissed by an angel but she’s black and blue.

“even monsters have hearts too.”

see her smile in a manic state.

hear her cry when she masturbates.

bunny grew to be everything you hated.

don’t act surprised by the beast you created.

-I.F.L 🛻

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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s t a r v a t i o n

feelings of biting off more than i can chew yet never finishing a meal.

yet another chorus of an unfinished song i’ve composed.

You starve, choking down what you’re chewing.

Days pass, still don’t know what you’re doing.

Minds flow, let it grow with the season.

Go slow, things will happen for a reason.

-I.F.L 🍴

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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My Ugly Thoughts…

trigger warning // mentions self harm and suicide

there is no such thing as “ugly” people or things… just ugly opinions.

This ugly voice

tells me ugly lies.

My ugly eyes

weeps their ugly cries.

I have an ugly body

with an ugly brain.

Watch my ugly wrists

being sliced to drain.

I hate my ugly teeth

and it’s ugly smile.

Just cut my ugly hair

into an ugly style.

Trapped in ugly skin

with its ugly scars.

Drink my ugly liquor

to crash my ugly cars.

My worth is ugly

because I’m an ugly girl.

I’m not allowed to be ugly

in this ugly world.

Wish I wasn’t ugly

with all the above.

Because there’s nobody here

to give my ugly love.

-I.F.L 🐣

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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Affair and Square

⚠️ WARNING: 18+ content! || contains sexually explicit material, profanities and other elements that may be inappropriate for some audiences

word count: 516

Her husband’s spine arches from the sweaty loveseat as she digs her fingernails deeper into his shoulders. She can’t help but shutter at the feeling of his rigid cock pushing deeper into her every second she rocks against him. Luckily for her, the back of the sofa was aligned perfectly in front of the door to their apartment. This allows her younger boyfriend to stand hidden in the doorway as he watches the passionate scene unravel before his starving eyes. She offers him a frisky smirk every once in a while as she keeps his presence a secret from her husband. The boy can feel himself harden as he gawks at his lover with her head thrown back in ecstasy. Her chest begins to heave quicker with each harsh thrust her husband delivers from below her, eliciting sweet whimpers from her inviting lips. Palming himself through his tight jeans, he begins to imagine it was him underneath her rather than his older brother. Every bit of air is sticky with the sound of labored whimpers and skin against skin contact. The woman’s husband remains entirely unaware of his brother stalking behind him as he hurriedly impales her with his pulsating dick. The woman gazes deeply into her boyfriend’s lustful eyes while her husband is busy sucking adoring marks into her stomach. The loveseat below them shakes and creaks under their intensity, threatening to snap at any moment. Her piercing stare doesn’t falter even as she fucks herself harder onto her husband’s throbbing cock. Silky wetness begins to pool deliciously at the base of his hardness, causing a symphony of crude slaps each time their hips meet in fervor.

“Fuck, I’m close.” The man growls. He claws at her restless hips and forces her still before pounding upwards into her dripping cunt. The woman’s back arches hungrily as she cries out from her beloved’s animalistic tenderness. Tears of pleasure begin to cascade down her cheek, making her face nearly as wet as her weeping pussy. Her boyfriend pants silently to himself as he squeezes his eyes shut and soaks up the sound of her fiery moans mixed with her syrupy wetness. He could make her scream louder. He has made her scream louder. Once he reopens his eyes, he’s met with the woman’s desperate stare once again. Her entire body is vibrating from the fervent thrusting of his skilled brother and she’s beginning to sob in utter bliss.

“I need you!” She cries out with a special desire in her darkened pupils, her eyes stuck to the boy in the doorway. He chokes back a moan at her desperate sobs for him.

“I’m yours, sweetheart.” Her husband moans beneath her, stupidly oblivious to her secret craving. “Cum for me!” He pants.

A sudden jealousy stabs deep within the younger boy at his brother’s disgusting possession of his lover. He makes an internal promise to ravish the woman and claim her as his own once again the minute his older brother gets up for a shower. If that were him, he would never wash her sweetness away.

-I.F.L 🚿

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

“𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇!” —Evan Jealous

🎬 - Limp Bizkit frontman, Fred Durst, playing a corrupt evangelist in his short film “The Truth” (2015)

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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Priests in Power Will Devour 🍷

poems for god’s healing children.

growing up in the church, i learned to be disgusted by my own thoughts and feelings. to that little, terrified girl, i’m sorry. i love you.

You better watch the things that you say.

The Rapture will come no matter the time of day.

What will it take for you to turn?

Do all as I say, or else you all will burn.

Child, only if you knew…

Nobody but him could love a sinner like you.

They won’t rest until I confess…

“Jesus, I am nothing but a wretch!”

-I.F.L 👑

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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+— S O A K —+

a short story teaser… coming soon…

WARNING: this piece touches on extremely explicit topics with graphic details that are not suitable for minors under the age of 18. “SOAK” contains violence, blood, sexual content, drugs, explicit language, suicide, incest and other themes that could be disturbing to some viewers.

DISCLAIMER: all offensive and taboo subjects in “SOAK” are used for artistic purposes only.

word count: 1,276

*+:｡.｡｡.｡:+*🩸*+:｡.｡｡.｡:+* 🗡️ *+:｡.｡｡.｡:+*🩸*+:｡.｡｡.｡:+*

Lilith’s conscience mumbled exceptionally loud tonight. It seemed to pound against her hollowed skull as she watched her lover, Sam, concentrate on crushing heroin into a fine powder. “Stop him!” It shrieked. “If you really love him, stop him!”

“Darling, do you love me?” Sam suddenly questioned. The voice possessing Lilith’s mind dies completely, leaving her to fend for herself.

“You know I do.” Lilith says before rising from the bed and walking over to her boyfriend. His bare chest is glowing with a thin layer of sweat, a clear indication of the play they had just moments ago. She stops so she’s standing next to him as he sits in a chair carefully aligning the white powder into two neat lines. She runs her fingers through his tangled mane of black hair, eliciting purrs from thin lips. He looks up at her with tired eyes, his sage irises cloudy with something demonic.

“Will you share yourself with me?” Sam hums with a crooked smile. Lilith can’t help the grin that breaks upon her face.

“You are such a vampire.” Lilith jokes. “Of course I will.” Removing her fingers from his damp hair, she goes to the bedside drawer to retrieve their shared dagger. As she rummages through the various junk, she can hear Sam’s loud snuffle from behind her. The dangerous sound makes her wince slightly. Sam coughs slightly, forcing pressure onto the side of his nose with his knuckle and muttering curses under his breath. Droplets of leftover blood remain stained on the very tip of the knife. Whether it was Sam’s or Lilith’s, she can’t seem to remember. Sam expertly sniffs at the last line of heroin while she begins to barely trace the sharpened blade against his shoulder. His head is thrown back in pure euphoria as he breathes deeply. Lilith pushes the dagger slightly harder.

“Go on.” Sam slurs. A quiet moan escapes his mouth once the razor-edged knife pierces shallowly into his shoulder. Lilith ducks her head into his neck in order to plant faint love bites on his neck while slowly dragging the dagger across his flesh. Sam’s blood immediately begins to seep through the narrow wound and he’s suddenly in heaven.

“Is that okay, baby?” Lilith purrs. For a moment, she’s worried she sounds too concerned, her mind unable to stray from the two lines of heroin her boyfriend just inhaled. She knows exactly how deadly heroin can be to the body. It did kill her father after all.

“Hell yes.” Sam huffs. “Come on, taste me.” Lilith wastes no time in taking the now messy knife from Sam’s shoulder and dragging her tongue across the freshly dripping slash. Sam’s blood has a distinct taste of bitter metal and something else beautifully floral. Lilith sucks gently on Sam’s shoulder like a starved animal. She could live off his taste forever. Or until right now.

“Lilith.” Sam groans abruptly. In a split second, Lilith pulls away and covers Sam’s cut with her palm to help soothe the bleeding.

“I’m sorry, does it hurt?” She asks, wiping his blood from her lips.

“No, no, you could never hurt me.” Sam laughs weakly. His eyes have gone completely gray. “I want to talk to you about something.” Sam slowly spreads his knees apart as if to invite Lilith into his lap.

“You can talk to me about anything, Sam.” Lilith reassures. She doesn’t care at all if she sounds anxious or not now. Lilith gently lowers herself to sit on his leg and drapes her own across his lap before running her fingers down her pale cheek.

“I know.” Sam mumbles with a wide smirk, his eyes slowly falling into a close. Lilith pulls his head closer into a kiss wet to help awake him once more.

“What do you need to tell me?” Lilith asks just mere inches from his face. When Sam’s eyes reopen, his eye’s green shine has magically returned.

“I wish to be with you. Forever.” He says pulling her in closer by her hips. “And I mean forever.”

“You will. You are.” Lilith says in slight confusion. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re damn right, you’re not.” Sam chuckles. His teeth seem especially sharp tonight. “I’m talking about me.” Suddenly, Lilith becomes aware of the dagger still in her lazy grip when Sam takes it into his own hand. He raises it carefully to her mouth, giving her a wordless order. Lilith complies, licking the tip of the dagger clean.

“Do you wish to be with me, even in death?” Sam asks with a deeply obsessive look in his eyes.

“Yes.” Lilith whispers as Sam cautiously drags the edge of the knife down the front of her throat and to her clothed breasts. The familiar sharpness stabs blissfully into her chest.

“Then you must listen to me very closely.” Sam says with an abrupt sense of importance in his voice. The dagger feels chilled and scorching hot at the same time as Sam works a gentle slit into Lilith’s bare skin. “If I were to die, you must find a way to bring me back.”

“Don’t be absurd.” Lilith allows a breathy laugh to escape as she gently rests her hand on Sam’s torso for leverage. Her blood runs quicker than her lover’s, causing Sam to skillfully catch each drop on his tongue.

“I’m not.” Sam says into her chest, his voice far deeper than Lilith has ever heard before. “You can bring me back.” There’s no denying the pit of disturbance growing rapidly in Lilith’s stomach.

“Sam…” She mutters.

“Hush. Just listen.” Sam says, his smile growing far more devilish by the second. He has now taken the blade and put it in front of Lilith as if to show her her own bloodied reflection. “If you truly are as devoted to me as you say, you’ll bring me back to you after I die.”

“But, you’re not going to—”

“There will be another. He will not be like me, but he will be the same.” Sam explains with nearly zero sense to be made. “You must kill him and drink his blood as you do with mine… Take your life once you do. I promise, I’ll find you.” His words strike Lilith like a match.

“What the hell are you saying?” Lilith stutters along with her heartbeat. Sam continues.

“You’ll know he’s the one once you find him. You’re so special, my love, you’ll be able to know.” Sam is beginning to slur once again. “Swear to me, Lilith. Swear you’ll bring me back.” The pleading in his reddened eyes are enough to slice into Lilith without the help of a knife. As unsettling as Sam’s requests are, the unconditional passion Lilith has for him is powerful enough to blind any worry she has. ‘He’s certainly high.’ she thought.

“I swear.” She confirms, taking his face into her hands and pressing a chaste kiss upon his forehead.

“You swear?” Sam nearly whimpers.

“Shh… Yes.” She coos. “I swear.” Sam’s head has fallen into the nape of her neck and she pets his long hair with great tenderness. For as long as Lilith can remember, Sam has always been very dark. From drinking each other’s blood to burning one another with lighters, their relationship has been disturbed to say the least. But that’s what made it so delicious. It only seemed well in Sam’s nature to desire being risen from the dead through a blood sacrifice of some sort. Of course, with Sam fast asleep in her arms as she rests in his lap, the two lines of heroin that he had taken entirely escaped her thoughts. So, Lilith would have never guessed that he would actually wind up dead in the morning.

-I.F.L 🐇

full short story coming soon…

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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lyrics of a song i composed about addiction being to blame for lack of inspiration

if you don’t start today then you will not start tomorrow.

Days like this are numbered when you’re only wasting time.

Your stomach’s feeling sicker yet you tell me that you’re fine.

You don’t recognize yourself when you commit the crime.

Nothing else will matter when your life is on the line.

-I.F.L 🏹

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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The lord’s Limitations.

releasing decades worth of frustration of not being allowed to live my desired lifestyle because everything i enjoyed was deemed “satanic” by my parents

yet another healing poem for the religiously traumatized children that grew up feeling shameful about being human 🫂

Oh god almighty they hung you high

They’re on their knees for you and cry

They kill themselves and call it faith

And praise the cross that killed your wraith

They pray and promise

(in utmost fear)

They only see you

(yet all i hear—

is satan’s name

who’s always near)

They keep him close

Yes this is true

Despite their lavish love for you

You died for them

And all their sins

But in the end the devil wins

Don’t listen to music

Or they will go manic

The guitars and drums

Are all satanic

Turn off the TV

Before they panic

If it’s not scripture

Then it’s satanic

The clothes you wear

Must be organic

Hide all your flesh

Or you’re satanic

You walked to death so they may live

Offer your all with none to give

But all Lucifer will do is stand

And they’re at his mercy and in his hand

Fear is of the devil

As you had said

Yet they’re scared to live

With him in their head

When faced with unholiness in sight

They don’t see you to aid their fight

They only see satan

And waste in fright

God is good but in the end

He’ll never reach the devil’s height

-I.F.L ☮️

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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possessed by love…

…or lust?

short poem.

you could take my life

and damn it all to hell.

say you want to kill me

i will never tell.

take me by the neck

and plague me with your smell.

say you’re falling for me

but i already fell.

- I.F.L ⛓️

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ourburningbridges · 1 year

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Don’t Cry, Lullaby 🪡

to the friends i called my family.

Hush now, little girl, don’t say a word.

Your mouth is sewn shut with your voice unheard.

They wouldn’t listen even if you tried.

They will turn their backs and say you lied.

I.F.L 🧵

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