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myfeetrcolddd · 2 months
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What if?
When she was very young Hermione had met a boy.
He was pale, and his hair so blonde it looked white, and at their young age he already had a small scowl.
She hadn't thought much about him at first, not until he began to monopolize on her one and only friends time, because at that age Hermione had already begun having trouble making friends.
So, she became somewhat possessive of that friend, in the end she became better friends with the small blonde boy. The best of friends.
He really was the only person who talked to her. Though, she wasn't quite aware of it.
After that year of friendship, the boy had disappeared and for years she wondered about the boy with hair so blonde it was white, the boy who despite his small scowl never seemed to scowl in her presence.
When she got her letter to Hogwarts she had even wondered if he had gotten one. If he did, would he remember her? Did he think of her as much as she thought about him?
Growing up Hermione still struggled with making friends, and she never felt as though she had met anyone who she liked as much as she had liked him, no one as close the two of them had became.
What she hadn't expected was to actually see him that first day. He was taller, not taller than her yet, and he had begun to slick back his hair and his scowl had grown.
He hardly looked anything like the boy she remembered but she knew it was him.
His blue eyes snapped to hers, and she saw the recognition flicker in his eyes and it was like a reel of memories flashed before her eyes. Of their families dining together, having each other over.
She smiled at him, but his face remained indifferent. His eyes glazed over and it no longer seemed like he recognized her, it was like he was looking at a stranger.
For someone so smart Hermione Granger could never quite grasp how to make and keep friends. Though, with Draco she thought she had perfected it, and all her other friendships were her grasping on the one she had with him.
Admittedly it had not only been friendly feelings she had for the boy. Her feelings for him, her first real friend, had branched into something more. Something she never quite got over.
And even as the years went on, as he continued to ignore her and their history, she thought about him and what could have been. If she had been more out going and confronted him. If she hadn't befriended Ron and Harry, would Draco have eventually warmed up?
She would never know, she would only ever be haunted by what might have been. Forced to play the 'what if' game every day before bed and every time she saw him in the halls or read of him in the papers.
So this is my first Dramione fic. Probs my last.
It's heavily based on my life and a friendship I had...
So if this makes no sense just keep scroling<3
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myfeetrcolddd · 2 months
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whoever invented cozy in bed was a genius. and whoever invented getting up should be burnt at the stake
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myfeetrcolddd · 2 months
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Down bad...and a little unhinged
It only got worse after Theodore realized just how much he liked her violence. So much more worse that he thought that if he died by her hand it would all be worth it because not only was it by her hand but that she was touching him.
He was sure he was insane. His friends agreed on that fact, especially when he started to provoke the girl even more. His notes had also become more than promiscuous. Reddening the girls cheeks every morning. He was yet to receive a reply from the long haired girl, but her visual reactions were enough fuel.
The Slytherin boy was sitting at the breakfast table, right across from the pretty girl as usual, his chin resting in his hand as he stared at the girl.
Despite what she said, she was affected by him, all of him. It was infuriating, really. The words and promises on those papers he sent her every morning, every day, without fail, sparked something in her. Something she wished to bury deep down forever.
Sure, he was handsome, charming, rich, but he was arrogant and rude, and so immensely hot infuriating. He made her want to punch him. So far it was only slaps and harsh pushes, but she was close to punching him. So very very close.
It also took too much effort to avoid his gaze like this. It was insane, and a wonder as to how he continues to get good grades in all his classes when it seemed that his attention never left the girl when she was around.
The owls swooped into the great hall right on time, brings a grin to Theodores face as he watched his owl perch on her shoulder and neatly give her the note.
Despite her best efforts, the girl had become attached to the bird, so she reached up and scratched beneath the owls chin. It cooed contently and Theodores jaw twitches, he'd never wanted to be a damn bird in his life.
He'd ask what was wrong with him, but he knew there was no point because she was what was wrong with him. And he wouldn't be right until she was his. Not that she wasn't his already.
"Are you listening?" A blonde Slytherin girl snapped her fingers in front of Theodores face and his lips twisted into an annoyed frown. Blondie, as Theo had been calling her since he could not remember her name, would not leave him alone.
She claims that they had slept together once, and that it was the best thing she had ever experienced and that after months of denial she had finally realized that they were meant to be. Theodore thought the girl must be more delusional than him, and that's saying something.
Apparently the girl had been living under a rock since they're supposed "Best Night of Her Life" because everyone in Hogwarts knew Theo was more than obsessed with Y/N, and nearly everyone backed off, not bothering to shoot their shot with her or Theodore.
But there were still a few idiots, like Blondie beside him. "Teddy!" She whines and Theo cringes at the sound. He hated that nickname. It was ridiculous and childish.
Still, he ignored her, watching as his girl put off reading the note he'd written for her. The Blondie surprised him, by touching him. She had grabbed his chin, yanking his head towards her and forcing him to take his eyes off of his girl.
Did she have a death wish?
Theo didn't hold back his glare as he looked down his nose at her. He grabbed her wrist roughly and pulled her hand away from him. Her needy look paled and turned into something fearful, "Do not touch me." He utters the words low and threateningly.
"B-b-but-" She stutters, "But-"
"B-b-b- spit it out!" He snarls and she winces, perhaps he was being too harsh. But if he were anything less then she'd think she had a chance and Blondie needed to know that there was no one for him than the girl who had his owl perched on her shoulder.
"She!" She points across the room, "She touches you!" At this a smile touches Theos lips. Damn right she touched him, sure it was only her slapping, pinching his side, pulling at a strand of hair, and pushing him into fountains and other things, but she touched him nonetheless. And she'd touch him much more if Theo got his way.
"And only her." He says simply, then releases her wrist like she burned him, "Now leave me alone. And get rid of the ridiculous notion that we're soulmates, because my soulmate is sitting right over there." He points across the room, extending his arm fully, with the full intention of others seeing. He knew many people were listening in on the conversation.
Good, he thought. Let this be a message, let everyone know that she is his as he is hers.
That's it for this fic. Dunno how to continue. Might make another one, this is the second one and a follow up from this fic.
Also, sorry if it's a little confusing. I really hate using 'Y/N'
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myfeetrcolddd · 2 months
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Not an appropriate reaction
He tugged on her long pony tail, hard enough that it made her head jerk back. He imagined doing that in bed, wrapping her long hair around his fist while he did unimaginable things to her.
The pretty girl spun on her heel, already ticked off by the relentless amounts of teasing and mocking Theo had been throwing at her that day. So, in a fit of rage she slapped him. Hard. In front of the whole school.
Theodores head snapped to the side at the force of the hit. He could feel his cheek stinging and he was sure it was turning red, his eyes were down cast and he lifted his hand to touch the sore spot.
"Fuck you, Nott." She spat, her own cheeks pink from the sudden adrenalin rush, but Theo didn't see it. He was too busy thinking about her skin on his.
She'd slapped him. Theodore Nott. She had slapped Theodore Nott who was notorious for not letting anyone get away with disrespecting him.
Around them everyone seemed to hold their breath. When Theo didn't respond the girl scoffed, rolled her eyes and walked away.
A smirk grew on Theos face, and something in his pants grew as well.
He'd liked that too much. The violence, the anger in her eyes. He knew he liked to tease and rile her up but he didn't think he liked it this much.
The Slytherin boy sauntered to his room, where he promptly scribbled out a note for the girl before sending it away.
The next morning, during breakfast in the great hall he watched for her reaction. Saw the way her cheeks reddened and a swallow worked it's way down her throat. Her eyes met his and he knew that the feeling was mutual.
Her eyes narrowed and he only smirked wider.
The things he'd do to that girl were endless.
Wrote a small follow up! HERE
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myfeetrcolddd · 2 months
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...
She moved with every thrust, her head buried in the pillows, above her Theo was like a machine. A hard core fucking machine with no means to an end. He moved in and out of her like a piston, their heavy breaths and moans filled the room and a sheen of sweat coated their bodies.
His hands grip her hips, not only thrusting into her but pulling her to him with loud smacks. His lips trailed up and down her spine as he whispered sweet nothings to the girl as she chanted that she was too tired and could not go on.
Theo knew better of course, and he knew she liked this. Not only due to prior conversations but because of the delicious noises that left her mouth every time he thrusted and the undeniable reaction she had. She was gushing. And she would continue to until Theo decided it was enough.
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myfeetrcolddd · 2 months
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pure
Her ring glints in the sun light. Silver and shining, a symbol of the pure girl wearing it. Theo was the type of person who wore many rings, he had multiple piercing and more jewelry than his father would like. He didn't need any more.
But that ring. That damn ring was haunting him. He wanted it. He wanted the ring and the pure girl wearing it. He wanted both her and that stupid bloody ring more than he should.
Theo wanted that ring and all that it stood for. He wanted to take it for himself and flaunt it, wear it around his neck for the whole school to see.
He knew what that ring meant, which only made him want it more.
If he got it would that mean that she were his? Forever and ever? This thought really only made him want her and that dumb ring even more.
And Theodore Nott got what he wanted, always, and he wanted her and her purity ring more than he wanted water.
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myfeetrcolddd · 3 months
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uh oh
Bile rises in my throat as I look between the both of them, struggling to process the cold hard truth.
What was going on?
This isn't happening.
It's a dream.
It's all fake.
But no matter how many things I told myself, I knew I was lying. Because there they were, my sister and the love of my life, standing too close for comfort and staring at me as if they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't.
I whispered his name, my voice breaking and wavering under my emotions. To my distress he too looks heart broken, his lips parted and his eyes wide with sorrow.
He utters my name and scrambles to find some excuse to make up for what was happening. An excuse to explain why, after minutes of me standing here, neither of them made a move to back away from the other, and if I wasn't mistaken, which I rarely am. I swear I saw my sister inch closer to him.
Of course, I thought, of course it was her, after all, when is it not? It seems that it will always be my older sister before me. Even when it comes to my own love life.
To the man I considered marring, the one I wanted to marry.
My elder sister has no remorse on her face, no sign of regret or anything of the sort. I doubt she knows of those feelings, the feeling of second place.
The feelings I have felt all my life thanks to her.
I swallow harshly, the barriers he had torn down rising up, ten times stronger.
It really was foolish of me to think that I would find my happily ever after, how could I when I had my sister, who was better that me in everything, and everything anyone would want.
Why settle for the spare when you could have the heir?
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myfeetrcolddd · 4 months
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We used to love each other... now it's only me.
Imagine you and the love of your life are together. From the starts its always been the both of you, you've always loved each other and neither of you thought you could love anyone else, you were sure that even if you had the choice you would both choose each other.
Life was good, you were planning to propose, maybe you were already engaged. Their the love of your life and you theirs.
But then tragedy strikes. They get into a terrible accident, sending them to the emergency room and into a week long comma.
You spend every waking moment with them, you barely even sleep, not wanting them to be alone when they wake up. When they do wake up you're over joyed. You rush to them, hug them and start talking about how happy you are that they're finally awake, how you love them and asking them if they need anything, are they okay?
When you finally pull away, giving them space to breathe you see the look on their face. Your smile falters at their confused frown, you call their name but they don't respond and there's no recognition, not to their name and not to you.
"W-who are you?" Is the first thing they say, sounding unsure about their voice and you're struck with horror. Your heart plummets.
No, you think, no this can't be happening. "Baby, it's me..." You say slowly, on the verge of tears, because this wasn't happening, this kind of thing wasn't something that happened to them, this only happened in movies and tv shows and books. Not real life.
"I-I don't know you." Their voice trembles and tears gather in their eyes, you heart cracks at the sight, "I-I, I'm sorry, but, I d-don't know you." Your heart cracks even more because even without their memories they were doing something they would constantly do.
Not knowing what else you can do and panicking you call for the doctor, or a nurse, anyone.
Then it all happened so quickly, they all rushed in, rushed to your lover, helping them out and they stared at the nurses and doctors in wide eyes panic, a panic you had been accustomed to over the years, one that you had learned how to calm and it took everything in you not to go over there, barge back into the room the doctors and nurses had forced you out of, and help them.
It went against everything you knew. It felt wrong, illegal that you had to be out here while they were in there, not knowing what was going on, that you wanted to help but you knew there was no way you could. Not without freaking out your lover more than they probably are.
Over the course of weeks they were integrated back into society, they got basic memories back, after about a month and a half they were able to go back into the real world, back to their job, they just couldn't seem to remember anyone. They knew things about their life, going to school, experiences they had, but everyone in those memories were muted.
The people in their memories had no faces, no voices, no names, only a silhouette, they could remember their family though, only a few of them, their mother, a cousin, a grandmother.
You tried to get them to remember, you refused to give up because you loved them, they were the love of your life and all you wanted to do was to help them remember they loved you too.
But then, over time, you realized they weren't going to remember you, it hurt like hell but you wanted them happy and they only seemed to be uncomfortable whenever you tried to get them to remember you, and guilty, and you hated making them feel that way.
When you didn't bring up the past that only you and others seemed to remember the both of you got along well, and if you let yourself forget it felt like the old times.
You two would banter and tease and joke, you would laugh and just talk about anything and everything. Because before you two started dating you were friends first, and even when you did start dating, it was like you two only got closer, a new layer of intimacy added to your friendship.
This realization only made the reality of things much worse, because it made you hope, that maybe with time things would go the same way it did in the past, but then you force yourself to come to terms with the fact that that kind of thing only happens in fiction.
But was there any harm in hoping?
There was harm.
While you had been pining and hoping for something that wouldn't happen they were out meeting new people, making new friends and meeting someone.
They were hesitant to tell you, to introduce you to them, but they did. And it was horrible, you felt horrible, it was like someone took out your heart, stomped on it, put it through an incinerator, mixed it into some water, froze it shattered it and tried shoving the sharp pieces of ice back into you.
But you tried, you pretended to be happy for the both of them, and you were, not for the fact that they were dating someone else, you were to selfish to do that, but you were at least happy that they were happy.
Slowly you drew away from them. Watching from afar as the person you were sure would be the only person you would ever love fell in love with someone else. As someone else fell in love with them for the same things you did.
In the end, they were still the same person you fell in love with, they still acted the same, those quirky little things that only they did were still there, they were still the person you loved and would always love, and you were someone they would only ever know as a friend.
You tried to keep the friendship, and so did they, but it was too painful, for them to be so inherently them, and for you to not be able to pull them into your arms, to not hold them the way you used, to be held by them, for you two to talk about the future, but not the future where the two of you were married with three children and a dog, in a quiet town with a big yard. Instead separate futures instead they were with their new lover and you were talking about a future with someone who you could only imagine as them.
It hurt even more to know that they still seemed to want the same thing, that they would get those things with someone else, someone who wasn't you and you wouldn't get them at all.
Because you didn't want anyone if it wasn't them.
You knew it was over, but it felt wrong.
Your family and theirs had tried to set you up with someone else but even the thought felt like you were cheating.
Even though they didn't love you, even though they loved someone else and were in a relationship with someone else, in your mind, in your dreams, in your heart, you were still together.
Sometimes you'd get dreams about the life you two could've had, though you didn't know if they were dreams or nightmares, because when you woke up, you were in tears and it felt as though there was a weight on your chest and there was a longing for something that was never real, and never could be real.
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myfeetrcolddd · 4 months
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staring right at you Theodore Nott
👁️👄👁️
New year same hyper fixation with fictional men.
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myfeetrcolddd · 4 months
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Running away... literally
She'd ran away from him, all the way up to her dorm in Gryffindor tower.
Y/N spiraled there, pacing around the dorm, mumbling to herself about how to get out of this mess. "I could tell him it was a joke?" She muttered, "No, he wouldn't believe that... UGH!" She groaned and flopped face first on her bed.
It was no use, she thought, there was no avoiding her feelings.
So, like the big girl she is, she sucked it up.
Pushing herself up from her bed she turned to the clock and saw that it was nearly dinner. Had she really been pacing for that long?
Sighing, Y/N stood, heading to the bathroom, fixing her hair in the mirror before she head for the great hall.
Theodore hadn't done much since Y/N had ran away from him. He knew he should probably feel hurt about it, the girl he had liked and known for so long running like her bottom was on fire and away from him after they had finally kissed, but truth was, he didn't. Because fact was, he knew things would turn out right.
Theo also couldn't see the downside to having finally kissed her. Hell, he was giddy and grinning like an idiot by the time he finally got to the Slytherin commons.
"What are you so smiley about?" Pansy asked, grinning slightly at the sight of her dazed friend.
Theo turned to her with the widest smile she had ever seen on the boy, "Huh?" He said, his eyes glazed over slightly and Pansy laughed.
The rest of the guys tried to get answers out of him, but he was too lost in his thoughts to say much. Just hum and grunt in response, he even let out the occasional giggle.
He couldn't wait for dinner, to see her again. Theo wondered what it would take for her to kiss him again. He figured he'd give just about anything for even just a peck on the cheek.
When dinner rolled around Theo went there at the soonest time, he wanted to be there when Y/N got there.
But the Gryffindor girl didn't show up until thirty minutes into dinner, and as soon as she stepped foot into the hall Theo was on his feet, the bench behind him screeched against the floor as he stood and bushed it back slightly.
The people around him turned and looked at him curiously.
It also seemed that Y/N had noticed it. Her head turned towards the boy and her eyes widened, "Shit." She mumbled to herself, staring at the pretty boy who stared at her with a wide smile.
Her heart was jumping out of her chest. It was like when she'd first met him, when she could barely talk to him because she was so shy about being near him. Her face warmed just like it used to back then too.
Theo stepped away from the table and started walking towards her, it wasn't until he was at the end of the table did she realize what was happening.
"Oh no..." He muttered and she looked around panicked. She wasn't actually ready to confront him!
So, she did the first thing she could think of. Turned right around and hightailed it out of there.
Theo hesitated for a second before he called out for her "Y/N!" He yelled but when he realized she wasn't going to stop he started running after her.
"Y/N!" He yelled again and she looked back over her shoulder.
"AHH!" She yelled and ran faster.
"What the...?" Theo started to slow down but ran harder.
When he realized she wasn't going to stop running anytime soon he stopped himself. He didn't understand, why would she run away again? He could understand the first time, she'd just confessed and under weird circumstances. But to do that again?
For the first time in hours Theo dropped his stupid grin and frowned.
He didn't understand that girl at all.
She had ran, again. She hadn't planned on running right when she saw him, but she hadn't planned on talking to him right away as well.
It was all just too much. She felt like a little kid again. She didn't know how to act! Was she supposed to act like nothing had happened? Or maybe Theo wanted to talk about it, but did he feel the same way?
She didn't know.
(✿◕‿◕✿)
Y/N spent her weekend holed up in Gryffindor tower, she didn't eat in the great hall, she ate in the kitchens.
She knew she was acting cowardly and owed Theo a hell of a lot of explaining. She'd realized that over the weekend.
"Hi Theo." She said softly, taking the seat next to him.
The Slytherin boy tensed up, he swallowed thickly and turned to look at the girl.
While Y/N had spent the weekend planning how to confront Theo, Theo had spent it going over anything he did wrong.
He didn't know how to act. He didn't want to scare her away again, didn't want her to run away again.
"Hey, Y/N." He said, his words short and strained slightly.
His tone worried Y/N, had he already gotten over the kiss? Did he not want to speak to her anymore? Was it because she ran? Oh Godric it was because she ran wasn't it!
Despite her mind whirring with worry and doubt she forced herself to take a breath, "Can we talk, after class?"
Immediately his head turned to hers, his eyes roamed her face to try and gauge what she'd meant. Was she going to tell him the kiss meant nothing? That it was all something they should forget? Salazar he hoped not.
He nodded his head in reply. His gaze lingering on the girl longer than he knew a friend should. But he couldn't help it.
This was the first time he'd seen the girl all weekend, this up close. He could see the specks of color in her eyes, the slant of her nose, and the curve of her lips.
The lips he'd dreamt of, the way they'd feel against his, whether they'd mold against his, how she'd taste, only now he knew all those things. He knew they felt amazing against his lips and they did mold against his, and he knew she tasted like his new favorite flavour.
Slowly he dragged his eyes back up to meet hers. She stared at him, her pupils were slightly dilated and she parts her lips then licks them.
Theo groaned slightly before turning away from the mesmerizing girl. He covered his face with his hands. How the hell was he supposed to pay attention in class with her sitting right beside him, smelling like all he'll ever want in life.
The class dragged out painfully slow.
Both of them were jittery as they packed up their things. Theo followed Y/N out of the class and lead them to a secluded corner. For a moment they stood across from each other silently. They were hardly a foot away from each other.
"So-"
"I'm sorry for running away." She cut Theo off, "Both times." Y/N swallowed thickly, "And I do like you and I meant what I said under the mistletoe and I don't want to sweep whatever happened and how I feel under the rug and if you don't feel the same- if you don't feel the same way then I understand and I'll respect your boundaries." She was out of breath by the time she finished, having said it all in one go.
Theo stared at her, frozen in awe. Her words had all come out so fast, he was still processing it all.
As Theo stared at her she started to get more and more nervous. Her palms felt clammy and she didn't think the hall was this hot before.
A minute passed and her heart beat was going a mile a minute. He wasn't saying anything! What did that mean?!
"Right- well, I'll just," She said suddenly, turning to walk away.
"No!" Theo blurted, grabbing her wrist and spinning her back around and closer than she was before.
She stumbled into him, the hand not being held by his came up to rest against his chest. Y/N peered up at him, her eyes wide with confusion. "Wha-"
Before she could say anything else and before Theo could think any better of it, he kissed her.
It was more aggressive than their first kiss. But it was just as good, hell, it was even better.
Their lips met and it was like heaven. Y/N's hands tangled themselves in his hair and he groans, she found herself smiling against his lips.
Then their tongues met and Theo explored her mouth, earning sounds that would haunt him in his dreams.
"Teddy." She sighed into his mouth, "We should get to class." He didn't listen though. Instead the boy kissed her harder, more passionately and Y/N forgot what she was even talking about.
Then she remembered and tugged at his hair once more, "Teddy." She said breathlessly, "Teddy I'm serious."
The boy complied, though not as much as the girl would have liked. He moved down her jaw and her neck, kissing and nipping and sucking at the skin, all the while he was mumbling things against her skin.
"Teddy." Her voice was barely above a whisper, "Wha-what are you saying.
She tried listening harder, and eventually she heard it.
"Heaven. Heaven, my heaven. My angel." He repeated, whispering it against her skin like a prayer.
"Teddy, we're in the school hallway." Y/N knew there was no stopping the boy, what she didn't know was whether she actually wanted him to stop.
"So then how bout my dorm, Angel?" He finally pulled away from her neck, his pupils were completely dilated, the dark green color of his eyes barely there anymore, and his lips were all swollen.
He was beautiful.
AGHHH all finished!!
draculary
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myfeetrcolddd · 4 months
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Under the mistletoe
"And you're sure it'll only stop the two of them?" Draco asked, his eyes narrowed and skeptical of the curly haired Gryffindor.
"Yes, Malfoy, I'm sure." Hermione replied, annoyed at the Slytherin boys skeptics.
(✿◕‿◕✿)
Theodore Nott and Y/N L/N were completely oblivious and deep in denial. The amount of times the two gushed to their respective friends about something the other did was far too many.
It was obvious that they liked each other. Everyone knew, but them it seemed, and it was unbearable. Especially for their friends who couldn't take the constant talks about how much one liked the other but 'It would never happen because he's way out of my league.' or 'She deserves better than me.'
So Harry did the unspeakable, he went and talked to Draco. The two groups came up with a plan.
It was the holidays, Theo and Y/n were already practically a couple, doing things together that no normal friends would, all they weren't doing was kissing or shagging.
The two groups knew there was no way of really forcing them to confess, but if they could get the two to kiss then they'd have to confront the obvious attraction they felt for the other, and surely they wouldn't be able to deny the face that the other liked them.
It was nearly fool proof. The just had to find a way to execute it.
"Mistletoe!" Blaise shouted, grinning as he ran into the room of requirement, the official meeting place for operation Kiss, as Blaise suggested, though no one else wanted to call it that there was no other options.
"What're you on about." Ron said, frowning.
"Mistletoe!" Blaise repeated, still grinning like a madman as he held up the tiny bundle of mistletoe, showing it to everyone in the room.
"Yeah, we get it, mistletoe." Mattheo mocked, "What about it?"
"This," He waved the thing around in his friends face, "Is how we get them to kiss!"
"Mate..." Harry said slowly, "Hate to break it to you, but they've gone under mistletoe before, the completely ignore it. Like literally everyone else does."
"Yeah, I know that." Blaise says, annoyed by the lack of enthusiasm in the room, "But what if we found a way that forced them to not ignore it!" He waited for someone to interrupt him, to say it was a dumb idea, but when no one didn't he went on, "Hear me out, what if when they both walked under it it somehow kept them there! So that they wouldn't be able to leave that spot until they kissed!"
Everyone stared at him, confused but intrigued.
"And how would we do that?"
Blaise rolled his eyes, "Well I don't know." He sassed, "I came up with the idea, you all can figure out how to do it." He huffed as he dropped himself onto one of the many sofas in the room.
As if they were all thinking the same thing they all turned towards Hermione, who looked startled by the attention, "I don't know why you're all looking at me." She frowned.
"Well you're the smartest one here..." Enzo said and the girl pressed her lips into a thin line before she rolled her eyes.
"Well, there probably is a way it's possible, we'd have to modify a potion or maybe even a spell, especially since we don't want to trap others under the mistletoe, so we'd have to find a way to keep it person specific..." Hermione then rattled on about all the ways they could go about it and soon they had a plan.
It took a week for things to be ready.
(✿◕‿◕✿)
"Have your friends been acting weird lately?" Y/N asked Theo as they walked out of potions.
"More than usual actually." The boy replied and glanced down at the girl he was sure he wanted to marry.
"Same, and I swear I've seen Hermione talking with Draco so much this week."
"Maybe they're finally getting together." Theo smirked, "Salazar knows it's about time."
The girl laughed and shook her head, "Tell me about it. If they don't get together this year then I'm going to be out of ten galleons."
The pair went quiet for a moment and Y/N took the chance to look up at her best friend. He was beautiful, and quite possibly the love of her life. She had never planned on letting her feelings get this far.
It had only started as a small crush on a boy she was friendly with back in second year. But then they got closer, and the closer they got the harder she fell.
Now they're in their last year and she still hadn't confessed, she figured it was too late, and it was clear he didn't want anything other than friendship from her. He had had multiple girlfriends before, and none of them looked like her, they were quite the opposite actually.
Y/N was counting on losing feelings for him this year, it would be for the best.
As if he could feel her eyes on him Theo turned and looked at her, his green-blue eyes meeting hers. For a moment she felt her heart stop, she was lost in them and the swirling colors.
But then she shook her head and looked forward and started to rant about whatever came to mind. It was a good thing she always had at least one thing to rant about. Or she should say two, but it would be idiotic to rant to Theo about himself. It would also make her feelings for him obvious.
The two turned into a deserted hall and as they passed beneath an arch way they found that neither of them could take a step forward.
Their feet were stuck to the ground.
Y/N turned to Theo frantically, "What's going on?!"
"I dunno, I can't lift my feet off the ground."
"Neither can I..." She went silent and found that she could pivot. She looked around, and it wasn't until she looked up that she saw mistletoe hung from the high archway. But surely that had nothing to do with it, so she ignored it.
"Did the twins do this?" Theo started to ask but then remembered that the infamous pranksters had graduated. But that was all either of them could come up with, it was something the twins would do.
So maybe it was a Weasly.
The pair ended up staring at each other, the both of them ignoring the close proximity and the fact that their chests were touching.
After ten minutes Y/N had come up with an idea. It was a stupid one and she wasn't sure if it would even work. But Theo wouldn't stop staring at her and she was sure she looked like a tomato under the heat of his gaze.
"Theo." She said.
"Y/N."
The girl took a deep breath before blurting the words, "Kiss me."
"W-what?" Theo stuttered, his heart beating ten times faster now and a light blush coating his cheeks. His eyes flicked down to the lips he dreamt about kissing, the plump lips he fantasized about at night. He swallowed thickly and met her eyes once more. "I- Why?"
"I'm just-" She paused, "Testing out a theory." She wanted to kiss him, but she didn't at the same time. She didn't want to kiss him under these circumstances, if she was going to kiss him she wanted him to know it was because she liked him.
"Okay..." Theo said slowly and Y/N looked up at him with determination in her eyes.
She took a deep breath and brought her hands up to the boys face, instinctually his hands found her waist, "I really really like Theodore Nott!" She blurted quickly before smashing her lips onto his.
Theo stood still for a moment before he realized she was kissing him, and he wasn't kissing her back. So he did.
The kiss was sloppy, and rushed, and there was passion and hunger in it. Both of them seemed t have forgotten what was happening, losing themselves in the kiss of their lives.
It was only when she tugged on the hairs at the back of Theos head and he let out a groan did Y/N realize what she was doing.
Horrified she pushed him off, and when he stumbled back a step she saw that her theory was right and she bolted off. Running far far away from the boy and her feelings.
Meanwhile Theo stood there, dazed and confused and impossible flustered, and all he could think about was that he had just kissed her. And he knew he was going to marry her.
"She likes me too." He mumbled, smiling to himself as his fingers brushed across his lips.
No clue how to go on from this. Might make part two ;3
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myfeetrcolddd · 4 months
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percy: please help me find my dad
dionysus:
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myfeetrcolddd · 4 months
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Girlrotting ⁺. ༶
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myfeetrcolddd · 5 months
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A date? (PART TWO!!)
Theo kept to his word. After leaving the cafe he took her hand in his once more, intertwining their fingers together. He walked so close to her that their shoulders kept brushing.
"D'you want to go to the bookstore?" Y/N asked innocently, batting her pretty little eyelashes at him in a way she knew always worked on him.
He pursed his lips and acted as though he was annoyed by the prospect of going there, even though he had planned to go there. After all that was the one store she had gone to consistently every time she was at Hogsmeade. "I suppose so." He rolled his eyes with a grin and she shoved him lightly.
Theo tossed their empty cups into a trash can before he held the door open for her and let her in.
Theo watched her face as it morphed into this giddy childlike expression and found himself smiling at it. A thought came to mind, a muggle phrase he had heard once, 'Happy wife, happy life' and he knew they weren't married (yet), but he couldn't help but feel as though that phrase was nothing but the truth.
He followed her around the store, listening intently as she rambled on about each book and the plotlines. He held the books she handed to him and kept track of those she lingered on but didn't pick up.
Theo was not known for his patience, or his ability to stay quite for such a long time without putting in his two cents. This was not the case with Y/N, because when he was with her he found his loud and over busy mind was calm and quite. He liked that nearly as much as he liked the girl herself.
"Are you sure this isn't too much?" She asked, as she stared at the stack of books she hadn't realized had gotten so high. Truth was that she always felt bad about spending Theos money, she never wanted him to think she was only friends with him for his money.
"If you asked I'd buy you the whole store." He said casually as he paid for the books.
She was glad he had his back to her, because if he didn't then he'd see how flustered that 'casual' comment made her. Though she imagined it wouldn't matter, nearly everything Theo said to her made her blush to some extent.
Before she could grab the bag of books herself Theodore did, he then grabbed her hand and without thinking kissed the back of it. Y/N felt as though she looked as red as a tomato right then.
He mumbled something in another language, Italian. Though she could barely hear it and even if she could hear it it's not as if she would have been able to understand.
She'd have to ask him about it later.
Soon the two found themselves walking into The Three Broomsticks. "I'll go get us a seat, you order." Y/N says, leaving no room for argument before she took the heavy bag of books out of Theos hands and going to find a booth.
Thankfully there was a empty booth towards the back, away from any prying eyes. Not that she wanted to keep this day a secret, but she had her what ifs about this day she was nearly certain was a date. What ifs that included Theo denying the day ever happened.
As she waited for the Slytherin boy to return Y/N found herself getting nervous. Pulling her out of her thoughts someone cleared their throat above her.
She turned and found one of the boys she had 'hung out' with in fifth year. It was awkward when I realized it was a date, but we kept talking and I thought I might've been able to like him. But then he ghosted me.
"Oh- Ben! Hi." She said glancing behind him to see Theodore still waiting for their drinks.
"Hey." He smirked, "Long time no see."
"Uh- yeah." She glanced back over at Theo who still had yet to notice what was happening, "What are you doing here?"
"I just saw you over and thought I'd come to say hi." He shrugged and she grew a little irritated, because this guy hadn't come to say 'hi' to her in the past two years.
"Oh well. You've said it." She said, not so subtly.
"Yes I have." He looked her up and down and it was then that she was thankful for having learned social ques, had she been in this interaction a few years ago she would think he really was telling the truth. "Listen, I think we should hang out sometime-"
"Sorry, her schedules full." Theo says from behind Ben and we both turn to him.
"Well I'm sure she can make some room-"
"Nope." Theo says, shoving past the short boy and sliding into the seat next to Y/N. He places their drinks down on the table before wrapping an arm around her, "Is that all? Or is there more we can help you with?"
"Look-"
"I really think you should leave Benjamín." Theo glares, not bothering to hide his aggravated mood.
Ben scoffs before stomping away.
Even with Ben gone Theo kept his arm around her, if she didn't know any better she'd say he actually held her tighter. Despite the mood Ben seemed to put Theo in Y/N couldn't help but be amused and let out a giggle.
His head snapped to hers, their faces closer than they've ever been, "Do you find this amusing?" He raised an unamused brow at her.
"No." She grinned, then leant forward picking up her butterbeer and taking a sip.
"Mhm." He hummed unconvinced and she kept grinning and Theo dropped the moody act, smiling and shaking his head at the pretty girl and drank his own butterbeer.
They slipped into a comfortably silence and Y/N figured now would be a good time to ask him. "So..." She started, keeping her eyes on the foam floating around her drink.
"So." Theo copied, his eyes on the side of her head.
"Are we on a date right now?" She ripped the band-aid off, turning to him and he froze. His eyes widening and his cheeks flushing slightly.
He then grinned, a wide ear to ear grin, flashing me with the deepest dimples I have ever seen. "I was wondering when you'd piece it together."
"I-what?" She spluttered and looked at him confused. She wasn't sure what she had expected his answer to be but it surely wasn't this.
"You heard me." He whispered, leaning in closer. His eyes darted from her lips to her eyes.
Y/N cleared her throat loudly and turned to face her drink once more, Theo laughed and brushed a stay piece of hair behind her ear. "I like you, Y/N." He said in a low voice that made her feel all kinds of things. "Actually, I like you a lot."
She swallowed her dry spit at his words as her face heated so much she might as well be the fucking sun. "I've liked you for a while now, a few years give or take. Personally, I thought I was kind of obvious with it." He spoke into her ear and she huffed.
Turning her head towards him once more their faces were so close their noses rubbed each other. Theo opened his mouth to say something else but she cut him off. "Theo, are you going to kiss me or not?"
He grinned before he grabbed her face and their lips met in a passionate kiss.
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myfeetrcolddd · 5 months
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A date?
Y/N was what most would consider the Ditsy friend. Not to say she was dumb or anything, because she was smart she was just a little... slow?
Slow in the way that she couldn't quite tell when someone was being sarcastic or serious. Someone would tell her such an obvious lie as a joke and she would go along with it because she simply just couldn't tell they were joking. Even more so she couldn't tell when someone was flirting with her, the amount of dates she'd went on simply because she thought the person was being nice and just wanted to hang out, until they tried to kiss her and she realized what it was they were actually doing.
So she was slow, slow to social ques. She knew it wasn't bad to be like this, because she'd taught herself the different social ques. So she wasn't completely lost.
Though sometimes it happened. Not very often anymore but it still happened.
Recently Theodore Nott, a good friend of hers, had been acting different around her.
She often found him just staring at her, he seemed to be more touchy than usual-though she didn't mind, and he seemed to always show up when ever she was talking to a guy.
She found it odd and considered it being him catching feelings for her but then she brushed the thought away and laughed, because why on earth would he have a crush on her? They'd been friends forever and he'd seen her without makeup and just woken up, how she looked after playing in the black lake for hours.
It was the weekend, which meant sleeping in. Hogsmeade could wait, sleep came first. Everyone knew this was Y/Ns mindset on weekends, even Hogsmeade weekends. Though this didn't stop Theo from breaking into the dorm and waking her up.
"C'mon, wake up!" He said, nudging her sleeping figure.
She grunted in response and turn her back towards him. She was having a lovely dream, and if she was lucky she could fall back asleep and continue it.
"C'mon Y/N I've got the whole day planned." He said, "And I'll pay for anything and everything." He bribed, though it wasn't much of a bribe to him since he was planning to do that in the first place.
At his words Y/N peeled her eyes open and stared sleepily at the boy, the handsome boy who she may have the smallest of crushes on after trying to demolish the giant crush she had on him in first year. It seemed her feelings refused to disapear.
"Fine." She huffed, then threw her blankets off of her and stood, paying no mind to how short her silk pajama set was, or how revealing the shorts and tank top were.
Theo paid mind though, and he cursed himself for staring at her long tan legs and the way her ass moved as she walked. He swallowed the dried saliva in his mouth and averted his eyes before his reasons for this one on one outing became too obvious.
"So what are we doing today?" The clueless girl asked as she looked for an outfit in her trunk, knelt down before it and looked up at Theo "Nothing physical are we?"
Theo nearly choked at the question and flushed a little, "Uh-" He cleared his throat, "N-nothing physical planned." He shook his, "Nope."
"Okay!" She chirped and smiled at the poor boy before taking her bundle of clothes into the bathroom.
As soon as the door closed behind her Theo let out a pained groan and ran a hand through his hair. If the day was to go anything like this morning has then lord save him.
In the bathroom Y/N wasn't as clueless as Theo thought she'd be. She was almost sure this was a date but didn't want to read too much into it because one, she didn't want to get her hopes up, two, Theo was one for spontaneous acts, and three, Theo normally pays whenever they went out.
Checking herself out in the mirror she smiled to herself, because sure she's a little ditsy but damn is she hot. It was a shame no guy caught her attention quite like Theo did and a shame that Theo would never see her that way.
The outfit was simple, a pair of translucent black stockings charmed to always keep her legs warm, and a short black skirt and a large white knit sweater also charmed to keep her warm.
She walked out of the washroom to see her tall friend lightly hitting his head on the wall while mumbling to himself. She giggled at the sight and went to put on her doc martins, "What are you doing?" She asked amused and he immediately stopped and turned around his face flushed with embarrassment.
"Nothing." He shrugged, playing it off coolly, "What're you doing?"
She laughed again and shook her head before standing up straight, "Nothing. Ready to go?" She asked and he frowned.
"You're not bringing a jacket?" Theos eyes flicked out the window where it was snowing, then back to the girl.
"I've charmed the sweater to keep me warm." She shrugged and his eyes moved down to her barley covered legs, "Charmed the stockings too." She added then went over to her trunk and pulled out a pair of white fuzzy ear muffs.
"Alright." He said, hen went to the door and held it open for her.
Walking through the corridors Theo had worked up the nerve to take hold of the girls hand, which earned him a look from said girl, "Don't want to loose you in the crowd." He had reasoned with confidence, though there was only about five other people in the large corridor.
Y/N held his hand anyway, because she wanted to and she could pretend this was actually a date and not just the two of them hanging out.
They talked about random things and by they it was mainly Y/N rambling on and on about countless different things as Theo gave her his full attention.
She was thankful for the cold weather, because otherwise her red face would be too noticeable and she wouldn't be able to blame it on the weather. It was odd having Theos undivided attention, she normally found him staring at her but normally he tried to hide it, and though he would always give her his attention when she talked she had never felt it had been this intense. Not to mention the way he had been absentmindedly stroking his thumb across the back of her hand this whole time.
"Oh!" Y/N gasped and grabbed Theos bicep aggressively, "Look! The new cafe we have to go!" The she left no room for argument as she dragged the boy towards the store.
Theo follow obediently, holding the door open for her and letting her walk in first, then standing right behind her in line. So closely behind her that his chest brushed up against her back and he could smell the scent of her shampoo.
"D'you know what you want?" She asked, her eyes still on the menu, reminding Theodore that he actually had to look at something other than the girl in front of him.
"Hmm? Oh yeah. Totally." He replied and she looked at him over her shoulder with a grin and laughed at how obvious he was that he had no clue as to what he'll get.
"So we can order?" He nodded his head and she smirked.
"I think I'll just get whatever you're getting." He says and she raises a brow.
"That's no fun." She then smiled wider and Theo knew that whatever she was about to ask he would say yes to, how could he not when she looked at him like that, "How bout I pick your drink!"
"Alright." He sighed, pretending to be against it.
They walked to the cashier and were met with a boy who seemed a few years older than them, maybe even fresh out of Hogwarts.
The cashier, Don his name tag read, smiled at Y/N. A smile Theodore was all too familiar with. He frowned slightly, "And what can I get you?" Don asked, his eyes not so subtly trailing up and down Y/Ns figure.
Theo clenched his jaw and stepped closer to the girl, Don's eyes flicked up to Theo and the cashier smirked, irritating Theo even more.
"That will be 14.50, and your number." Don says, smirking down at Y/N and Theo finds himself wrapping his arms around the pretty girl before tapping his card on the machine and sending the cashier a cold look.
"Sorry, I don't swing that way." Theo says and Don grits his teeth before handing them their receipt and the two go and wait for their drinks.
"That was weird." Y/N says and Theo grunts in response, pulling her closer to him by her waist, holding her against him and resting his chin on her head. She smiled at the contact, flustered but not against it. "You've been very touchy today." She comments and he hums in response.
"Really?" He asks, "Is it bothering you?"
She paused at the question, then answered truthfully, "No. I quite like it actually."
"Good."
"Good?" She laughs at his answer, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Means I'll be very touchy from now on." He said and Y/N found herself grinning so hard her cheeks were starting to hurt. She really was starting to think that this was a date.
She was about to ask him if it was when her name was called and she went up to collect their drinks.
Lost motivation for this...
Let me know if I should make a part two!
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myfeetrcolddd · 5 months
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reblog if you think sign language should be taught as a language in schools.
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
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myfeetrcolddd · 5 months
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Avoidance
She had a problem. A problem by the name of Theodore Nott.
The two had been friends for years, since they both met on the train in their first year, even after she had been sorted in Ravenclaw rather than Slytherin like him.
But for the last year or so things had shifted between the two. A tension had wrapped itself around the pair of friends, lingering gazes and touches, interactions that toed the line between friendly teasing and flirting.
It was confusing to say the least, because while she had been sure of her feelings for her friend she was unsure of how he felt towards her.
Theo would be borderline flirting with her one moment, being far more touchy than a best friend ought to be and being far more protective, then the next moment he was chatting up a new girl before disappearing into a broom closest or his dorm.
Confused and hurt over what was happening she decided to put up boundaries, close herself off a little, maybe then she'd rid herself of these new found feelings for her best friend.
Though this was all easier said than done.
Walking into the great hall she made her way over to the Slytherin table, but instead of taking her usual seat pressed up against Theos side she sat between Enzo and Pansy, who welcomed her confused smiles but smiles nonetheless.
"Morning." She smiled to the group and they all greeted her back.
Theo had brushed this off, he couldn't expect her to sit beside him for every meal. But he found himself hating the way she had decided not to sit beside him anyway.
When she had finished her breakfast she excused herself from the table, and Theo did too, because they always left together and would walk around together before actually getting to class.
When he was finally beside her he reached for her hand to hold, something they always did, no matter what. But she evaded the touch, clasping her hands together in front of her.
He looked at her confused once again, but shrugged it off, because everyone has their off days.
They talked like they always did, conversation flowing easily between the both of them but Theo couldn't stop his hand from twitching with the need to grasp something, but since she wasn't going to hold his hand he decided standing as close as possible would have to suffice.
This she had allowed, because despite trying with all her might she couldn't deny that she missed his closeness. It was weird not to have him so close, but she had to do this because whenever he was so close she found herself pretending they were dating.
She almost forgot they were only friends a few times, almost because every time someone would say they looked like a "lovely couple" or anything along those lines Theodore would spend the next ten minutes explaining how they were only friends and how he basically saw her as a sister.
In class Theo had scooted his chair as close to her as possible, because that's just what he always did, and then he tried to put his arm around her chair like he always did, but instead of meeting his chair in the middle she stayed put, and instead of leaning back into his arm she sat as straight as possible, making sure her back wouldn't touch his arm. And their thighs that were normally pressed together seemed an ocean apart to him.
Theo frowned once more, even more confused as to what was happening to his best friend.
The rest of the day had went like this. With her avoiding any physical contact that wasn't needed and not flirting back with him, or not doing what she considered flirting back with him. She wasn't sure if Theo even knew he was flirting with her at this point.
After the last class of the day ended they had to split, Theodore went off to Quidditch practice while she had gone with Pansy down to the Slytherin common room.
While the two girls had sat on one of the many sofas in front of one fo the many fireplaces Y/N filled Pansy in on how she had been feeling, and her plan.
Pansy laughed loudly at what Y/N had said, covering her mouth to muffle it slightly, "I-I'm sorry, but is that why he's had this small frown on his face all day?" She asks and the Ravenclaw girl rolls her eyes fondly but nods her head. "You, Y/N L/N, are a mastermind."
"I know." She grinned, shrugging, earning another laugh from Pansy.
As if summoned Theodore showed up, standing behind the couch, "Ladies." He said smoothly as the two girls turned around to face him, though he greeted them both he kept his eyes on the one who was avoiding his touch.
"Hi Theodore." Pansy said with a slight smirk, not missing the way he hadn't taken his eyes off of the Ravenclaw girl once. Though that wasn't anything new. It seemed as though Theo could never quite taker her eyes off the girl, it was a surprise said girl hadn't noticed that.
"Hey Teddy." She smiled up at him, using the nickname for the first time today.
Theo felt something swell in his chest at the sound, he couldn't help it. Like he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face at the word.
He hoped over the back of the couch and slid into the seat right next to the girl. Wrapping one arm around her shoulder and the other around her middle in an effort to pull her impossibly closer to him.
While Pansy tried not to laugh out loud at Y/N flustered and startled face Theo had successfully sat his best friend practically on his lap.
Y/N cleared her throat and peeled Theos hands off her then stood, "Well-" She started, avoiding eye contact with Theo who had such a deep set frown Pansy was sure his face would freeze that way, "I think I'll get going now. I'll see you two at dinner!"
Then she scurried out of the snake pit as fast as she could and up to her own dorm.
Theodore sat there, frozen and confused. "What the fuck." He said, then he turned to Pansy, "D'you know what that was about?"
Pansy, who had a poorly hidden grin on her face, shrugged feigning ignorance. "Nope!" Theo glared at her but her resolve kept up so he huffed in annoyance before storming up to his dorm.
He endured three days of what he now considers his personal hell and it's be a lie if anyone at Hogwarts said they didn't notice.
Actually, it was hard not to notice. Things had changed for Theo, because sometimes Y/N wouldn't even eat at the Slytherin table anymore, and if she did she sat beside Pansy and someone-anyone- other than him. She no longer walked with him to class and he barely sat beside her in class.
Theo would walk to class like he wanted to set the whole castle on fire, and if he saw that his usual seat beside his beloved best friend was taken he'd sit behind them and glare lasers into the back of the poor students head.
And while almost every other student was scarred to even breathe the wrong way around the boy his friends found the entire thing incredibly amusing. Especially since Pansy had filled them all in on Y/N's behalf.
The Ravenclaw girl was sitting outside on the fourth day, enjoying the sun by herself as she sat on a bench and read her new book. The spot had nothing blocking the sun from her, not even clouds.
But then a large shadow came over her. She looked up to see a fuming Theodore with dark circles under his eyes and his normally messy hair was messier than usual, as though he had been tossing and turning all night then running his hand through it countless times.
Seeing him like this was no good. It just made her feel bad for putting a distance between them. Worst part was that it didn't work. She still had feelings for him and she was still longing for something more with him.
She opens her mouth to greet him but doesn't get the chance to get the first syllable out when he interrupts her, "Why've you been avoiding me?" He demands, his voice rougher and raspier than usual.
"I-" she huffed out a breath, she supposed there was no time like the present, and maybe confessing and rejection would help her get over him, "Because I like you Theo, and with you being all touchy then hooking up or flirty with some other girl. It confused me and I thought putting some space between us would help me get over you."
Theo went silent. He didn't know what to say, he didn't want to reject her, but he didn't know if he liked her back. She took his silence as an answer and sucked in a breath.
She had known being rejected would hurt, but she didn't think it would hurt that badly. She smiled up at him and tried her best not to cry. Closing her book she stood, "Nice talking to you Theo." She said before walking away and letting the tears fall.
She didn't go to breakfast the following morning, she didn't go to any classes, or any meals. Theo missed her presence entirely, because even though while she had put distance between the he could still see her, but now she wasn't there.
That night Theo realized something.
He realized he was an oblivious idiot. Because he hadn't treated Y/N as a best friend in years, instead he's been treating her like she was his girlfriend. And he'd seen her as his girlfriend, which was probably why he always thought of her when she wasn't around. Why when he was with another girl it was her he was thinking of, her he found himself wishing he were doing these things to.
Immediately he jumped out of bed, putting on shoes before he ran out of the Slytherin common room and up to Ravenclaw tower.
Answering the riddle with ease he bounded up the stairs to her dorm three at a time. By the time he was at her door he was breathless and red cheeked. He knocked gently and she answered right away.
She frowned looking up at the brown haired boy who lacked a shirt and was only wearing a pair of sweat pants and runner, "Teddy what are you-"
Theo pulled her by the waist and held her flush against him. Leaning down he kissed her, she froze, not sure what to do before she realized she was kissing him back.
uh don't really like this, go lazy with the ending.
sorry
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