maybird321
Thoughts Of A Depressed /Poor College Student
Home of Dumb ass thoughts that medicine has not progressed far enough to cure
4614 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
la-ermitana
i want you to stay
fates-calling
What Is Your Destiny?
halcyon-girls
Girls
alwayslookingbeyond
definition of a wanderer.
v-ldn
V
Text
I squared up with a metal jug and found myself round. Now I have a bandaid on my face
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: I call bs on this guy speaking fluent French after only learning it in high school. I took French in high school and learned nothing
Dad: we’ll he’s smart
0 notes
Text
This thanksgiving I am thankful for booze and antidepressants
1 note
·
View note
Text
They’re very few problems that can’t be solved by double amputation
#merica#life shit#funny family#making my life shit#dark humor#problems#stupid humor#star wars#tales of the jedi#the mandalorian#andor show
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don’t listen to classic country music, that’s just booze, tractors and weaponized patriotism.
No I listen the good stuff, women singing about murdering their husbands
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yo this guy came In to my work with the worst cologne alike my brother in smell you are scaring our rats away
0 notes
Text
Y’all I love a good dub. Everybody deserves to see Bruce Lee kick someone’s ass in their own language
0 notes
Text
Don’t mind me I’ll just be at the club getting lit with my emotional support mom
0 notes
Text
You know If I didn’t have a healthy fear of dirt I would be a bigfoot hunter
0 notes
Text
My Apple Watch thinks I’m being hunted for sport but in reality I’m trying to skip intro on Netflix
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nothing gets me better than Coldplay and lasagna
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think I’m gonna be a sugar baby this working stuff is the pits
0 notes
Text
Dad who went to a state school: while you were doing your so called studying I was studying how to shotgun a beer
Me who went to a private school: well I learned how to shotgun the lord
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: you are a nuisance
Dad: no, nuisance was my father
Dad: please call me newt 
#dad burn#merica#wordsofwisdom#wtf is wrong with me#funny family#funny words#funny dialoge#stupid humor#tumblr humor#dadsamiright#dadjokes
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Looking at some fly old women in party hats*
Mom: do they look my age?
Me: no! They’re like 50
Mom: I am 50!!
Me: shit
#merica#wordsofwisdom#wtf is wrong with me#tumblr humor#mother#age#old women#party hats are deceiving#how was I supposed to answer
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
My mother: what’s that one German dog?
Me: huh?
Mother: you know the one. The Douchehound
Me: do you mean Dachshunds
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
*drinks my mother’s morning coke*
Mom: I know you and your boobs aren’t that big.
6 notes
·
View notes