Dont leave me alone here? Let me yell and shout and bang on your door so it falls down. Let me storm in and punch you in the face and make up for the way I was made! 

I want some religion so badly. I don’t have any. I can be spiritual at times and feel a connectedness to the earth and anything on it. My soul shatters every time I pass roadkill. My dad and I driving to the mountains one time passed about six squirrels and I felt like maybe god was there pushing his hand into my ribcage and attempting to rip the heart that’s there free from its strings bit by bit, and I told my dad ‘We have driven past like six squirrels now,’ and he didn’t falter or consider at all that that was a big deal before saying ‘oh, I hadn’t noticed.’ And i knew he hadn’t, because he is my dad, and he doesn’t really notice me either. 

So maybe I am just roadkill, and maybe God is laughing at me, and maybe I wish he was someone I could blame, maybe I wish he was someone that could help me. But maybe I am just the fourth squirrel lying bloody and bruised on a highway, and maybe god is just my dad not noticing. 

Me: you are a nuisance

Dad: no, nuisance was my father

Dad: please call me newt 

Guys my birthday is on the twentieth of November and I’m gonna be sixteen and honestly all I want is for my dad to stop being such a jerk towards LGBTQ+ people because to be honest I’m bi and what if I grow up and marry a girl? Like, what, are you just not gonna come to my damn wedding because you think it’s “inappropriate”? I respect him and all but honestly so many of my friends are LGBTQ+ and he needs to have a more open mind. The world is changing. He needs to suck it up and deal with it.

Do you know how hard it is to go to sleep with your father in his ‘Man Cave’ watching a movie? Like I’ll be half a sleep dreaming on riding on a horse with Ryan Reynolds who’s only dressed in a plaid flannel waxing poetic about his love for maple syrup, and bam it’s World War Two heavy artillery shooting us into space and some old guy wailing about Jimmy was everywhere.

Me: Mom is taking a nap if you bother her we will burn your crocs in the front lawn.

Dad: I’m the boss I can bother her if I want, there will be no repercussions to my crocs because I’m the boss

My dad: I stepped up in the platform, the man gave me the news. He said, you must be joking son, where did you get those shoes?”

*puts his cameo crocs on the table with their matching socks*

Mom: ur gonna hit that car rob

Dad: who you gonna trust me or your lying eyes?