I am worthless

Some drawings I drew

while you were gone, I slit my wrists I know it was wrong, but its what I did As I smelt the blood and watched it drip I thought if I'm not careful I might just slip soon I started to feel quite weak the face in the mirror was as white as a sheet looking back at me there was a thud as I hit the ground now I lay here and wonder when will I be found the lights go out my consciousness fading I guess I'm not really worth saving

Nobody Cares

It was 1 am last night when I sat on the toilet of my upstairs bathroom and cut the deepest cut I'd cut yet into my left thigh. Why did I do this? Becuase. Becuase I wanted to. Because I could. Becuase nobody would even notice if I did. My family and I had finished watching a movie and Id realized I left some dishes in the sink and I wanted to clean them so that I wouldnt get in trouble. I cleaned them.Then I realized my sister and I had left a little mess in the bathroom from earlier that day due to making hair masks.My mom shouted at my sister.I covered up for my sister saying it was my fault.Still got shouted at. I went and cleaned the bathroom scrubbed it down for 30 mins. Nobody noticed, nobody cared. I went into my room and my sister was somehow mad at me and she hit me and said it was my fault when i tried to cover for her. She took my phone cord and I was done. I went into my bathroom sat on my toilet and took out my blade and made a deep incision into my skin.And it bled.A shit ton. and I sat there and cried, and yet nobody heard my sobs. Becuase nobody cared. You might think "Oh what a stupid reason to want to cut " But everyone has different reasons. And as an eldest child we often go off unoticed. So yea Im unoticed and continue to go unoticed and despite that huge cut makes me limp nobody notices it. Becuase I am nobody.

Comment which one you are

I cannot put into words how much I absolutely HATE this body I'm in.

I was a fucking idiot to believe you cared...

You only "cared" about me when things were manageable - when I was manageable.

You saw me at my absolute worst and most vulnerable, and it scared you. You no longer saw me as someone you could help, but rather as something you needed to manage. You no longer wanted to deal with me once you realized how pathetic and fucked up I truly am.

You were the first and last person in my life I fully opened up to. I thought I finally wasn't alone. But you gave up on me and left me in the dirt once I got too much. You showed your true colors and how you were just as selfish and manipulative as the rest. You reminded me for the final time that absolutely no one can be trusted.

I don't blame you though, I’d leave me if I could. Besides, it was my fault for being so fucking stupid and deluded.

I give up on me too.

Damn

You know whats absolutly hilarious is the fact that I have so many friends but nobody knows what Ive done to myself, what I want to do to myself and what I could do to myself. Nobody cares and Nobody ever will.

"Anybody wanna kill themselves?" (Say 'I' if you do lol)

Cutting is bliss but also the bane of my existence

Cutting is great. Cutting helps the pain ya know.Cutting makes everything better.Cutting helps me release the pain and anger i feel for myself.But theres still a part of me that hates me even more. And of course youre supposed to hate yourself but i cant help but cry for the life I couldve had.The fact that maybe instead of wearing shorts all the time to the beach I could be wearing a normal bathing suit. But i cant stop.I cant fucking stop and the more I do it the more I hate myself and the more I hate myself the more I do it.