honeybeanboo - Tumblr blog

honeybeanboo · 2 years

Text

genshin boys with eating disorders pt. 4

hello!! sorry to have been gone for so long (literally two months), i've been busy and unmotivated to write! cannot promise that i'll be active again, because we all have our shit, but i'll definitely be writing more! (i'll be more active than one post every two months anyway...) i have two genshin girls done, amber and ayaka, so i'll be posting those two together and then the next two alongside each other! i'm gonna be writing a little oneshot per character because it's so hard to fit all my thoughts about one character into less than 400 words ! ^^

𖨥 summary : headcanons of eating disorders i believe these genshin characters would have based on their character and background story and their behaviors around them

𖡻 disclaimer : this is not meant to glorify, support or encourage eating disordered behavior! this is just a means of emotional vent for myself (the author) and an interesting read for those out there who want to read this. these headcanons are NOT based on physique or build of the character. you can have any type of eating disorder at any weight, any physique and any stage of that disorder. you are valid and please seek help if you need it <3

𖥻 trigger warnings // eating disorders , disordered eating , mentions of self harm , bulimia , binging , purging , disordered thoughts , restricting , anorexia

𖥻 characters : arataki itto , gorou , thoma + aether

𖥻 word count : 1,495 words

𖥻 time : 5 min 58 sec reading ; 11 min 30 sec speaking

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

┅ itto ┅

❂ binging + purging eating disorder

❂ started + time had: 2 years

❂ who knows: no one

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of itto's ed is masking and misery

everyone knows that itto's the muscley one, he's a powerhouse in the resistance, a remarkable swordsman, and a cheerful and bright friend to practically everyone around him. no one would have ever guessed that his physique haunts him in secret, an all too big shadow for his comfort trailing after him as he trained.

he's discontent. it started with just politely turning down the third portion, offered to him because they must think he's fat, right? he's disgusted with how much he eats; he never noticed it before. an extra skewer, a couple extra helpings of potatoes, building up into the chub that gorou loved so much. then it was the second helping, then it cut down to half a regular portion in everything.

however, this didn't go without notice. people would notice, of course when a large guy who did a ton of exercise began to eat less and less, right? and they did but not nearly as much as itto wanted them to, so he began to become miserable. yo-yoing between weights and eating lots at events to quell suspicion before throwing it up right after, the man was exhausted

it was horrible, to have hope and motivation thrown at him in his own spiteful brain just to have it yanked away by the same pair of hands that shoved what he hated most back into him.

it was an endless cycle of having a good couple days before relapsing into binging again, and itto was tired, so tired

he smiled more, but the smile never reached his eyes - gorou, being the busy general he was, never noticed

┅ gorou ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: 6 months

❂ who knows: kokomi, everyone suspects

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of gorou's ed is exhaustion and control

our doggy is the head of the watatsumi army and a key role in the resistance so he's under a whole ton of pressure - sadly this pressure manifested in a different way than his friend kazuha :( he's not really sure when it started, but he was always too exhausted to eat dinner, so he went to bed hungry and tired pretty much every day since he was appointed general

his tail grew droopy and although many in the camp were worried about the well-being of their general, they said nothing. they said nothing when he grew snappy and anxious whenever offered food that wasn't his favorite wraps and cooked meats, and averted their eyes when his hands shook as he steadied a spear

gorou knew he was wearing himself thin, but he was lovingly and detrimentally loyal to his leader and friend, sangonomiya kokomi- he couldn't ever let her down. and so it continued, his physique growing smaller and smaller, his body beautiful to fight with, in his opinion, but horribly weak in reality. gorou felt lost, small and sad and he was in denial that he couldn't keep living like this

gorou falls asleep at his desk constantly, being found by kokomi. one day she sees all the paperwork strewn around and searches through it quietly- she finds a notebook filled with ingredients and numbers and phrases "a little smaller gorou" "a marvel of nature" "I am strong"

he works himself to death :( purposefully avoiding eating, fasting for as long as he could without passing out- a workaholic to the worst degree considering his ocupation

gets dizzy and unstable easily, irritable and shaky

┅ thoma ┅

❂ restrictive and purging disorder

❂ started + time had: 2 years

❂ who knows: no one

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of thoma's ed is torment and ridicule

even though he acts like it doesn't bother him, the comments and constant belittlement from the kamisato clan members slowly breaks his smiley exterior

sunny and kind, thoma's disposition is well known around inazuma, always doing errands and backwoods favors for people who he wouldn't have gone out of his way for before - no matter what he always tries to help other people, even at the cost of his own health

this comes to a point one day where the guards at the kamisato residence are straight up making fun of him, laughing and cracking jokes at his expense. all kinds, from where he was born to his voice, his physique, and more - they commended on how much he loved to cook and eat, chuckling about "no wonder the guy hasn't lost his baby cheeks"

thoma felt sick to his stomach- they always laughed at him; they all did, but they'd never poked fun at his looks before :\ it sat at the back of his mind the rest of the day and he wondered whether they could tell that he'd gained weight

it clawed at the back of his mind for weeks, hyper analyzing every glance or scoff that was thrown his way. were they judging him? was her sweeping glance seeing every flaw in his body that was unfit for her? was he convinced he would not be an equal sparring partner? breakdowns were frequent after especially bad days and finally, thoma decided he would change how he looked because he was exhausted with feeling that tight knot in his chest whenever he went out

thoma began with becoming more picky, turning down his favorite foods with a sad smile, to both his disappointment and to his delight, no one noticed the man's turn for the worse - 900 calories a day was his limit, although he hated having it like that, he was very active trying to clean up the kamisato residence - and then it was 700 after another comment from a guard :( and he was happy! he was getting smaller, slimmer and healthier in his eyes. but it wasn't really enough

he started purging after the big meal with traveler - forgetting about his troubles until after, and then throwing it all up after - sh! he had to be quiet so no one would hear him

many a time he had to rest on a stair after seeing stars, taking care not to pass out

the lowest he ever got a day was 400, and that day he was horribly stick, having to stay home and not go to work that day - ayato dropped in, worried, but thoma convinced him he was fine

always smiling :[

┅ aether ┅

❂ restrictive + purging + binging disorder

❂ started + time had: during the liyue chapter

❂ who knows: paimon, kazuha + albedo

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of aether's ed is instability + abandonment

aether's been through a lot, from losing his sister to having to travel all over teyvat, helping everyone- it's exhausting and emotionally draining. he hates to admit it, especially since paimon does so much to help him and motivate him, but he lost his spark of trying to find his sister again a long time ago

it started as a coping mechanism, finding shops and buying lots of food under the pretense of paimon, but then sneaking off and eating it all himself :( he would then return to paimon and act like everything was fine - but paimon knew, and she knew for sure when she heard him throwing up in the forest behind one of their camps

god he was miserable, he was exhausted and he hated moving from place to place all the time; he was slower now and not as agile. getting hurt was easier and then they'd have to stay in one place for a little longer so I guess it was worth it :] (not really)

was it worth it? to keep helping and helping and giving every piece of himself away for a sister who didn't even really want him anymore? was this the "truth of this world" that she wanted him to experience? it was cruel of her, aether thought bitterly and began to resent her for it

paimon listened when he broke down in front of her after not eating for days, the beaches of inazuma spinning as he tried not to collapse. paimon already knew, but it was worse for her hearing it from her dear friend himself and only then did she realize how deep he had gotten into this horrible disorder

kazuha worried, of course - he worried when he saw the eyebags, and the new shirt that covered his stomach, he worried when aether eyed his dango hungrily but turned it down. kazuha knew, but he wished he didn't

aether is beginning to fray at the edges, becoming tired, unstable and shaky- he keeps gaining weight and then losing it scarily before gaining it all back - he's scared of himself

and that's it! thank you for coming to the last installment of genshin guys w/eds (for now) and I will be releasing ayato as simply a oneshot once we know more about his character! amber and ayaka coming up next <3 thanks for sticking around and please leave a comment with any specific scenario or headcanon that this might have inspired :D

take care and do harm reduction -

- luca

#tw eating disorders #eating disoder #genshin imagines #genshinimpact #itto #arataki itto #gorougenshinimpact #gorou #thoma #thoma genshin #aether #paimon #traveler #genshin #anorexia

45 notes · View notes

honeybeanboo · 2 years

Text

i am literally so burnt out kms

4 notes · View notes

honeybeanboo · 2 years

Note

do u have any hcs for the genshin girls too? id love to hear them lmao

currently in a writing rut so not at the moment but currently posting the last of the genshin boys hcs! then getting to work on the girls hehe <3

1 note · View note

honeybeanboo · 2 years

Text

workin on some new headcanons! genshin boys wih eds coming soon - aether , itto, thoma and gorou

1 note · View note

honeybeanboo · 2 years

Note

Hello! I’m a big fan of your work! It’s really comforting to read since I too struggle with an eating disorder. If you don’t do requests feel free to ignore this ^^ but could you maybe write a one shot where Bennet pushes himself in his ED as a punishment and because he wants to feel like he’s good enough at something and Fischl and Razor both confront him about his behaviour? Once again if not that’s okay ^^ (also do you consider ever writing ED headcanons for the girlies of genshin too?)

why hello love :D i don’t normally do requests because i’ve never gotten one!! this is actually very perfect timing because i was coming back into tumblr and going to be active again ♥️♥️♥️ it means so much that you’ve read my writing /gen :]

i very much plan to do the girlies do not worry friend ^-^

here you go!

— — — — — — — — —

𖨥 summary - bennett is driven to yet another long fast, frustrated and distraught. his friends aren’t as clueless as he believes them to be and they confront him about his habits

𖡻 DISCLAIMER: this work is not meant to promote, glorify or encourage disordered behavior. it is also not meant to be taken as canon. i am not associated with mihoyo (obviously) and this is again just a work of fiction :] read the triggers carefully! stay safe everyone and i love you all <3

𖥻 TRIGGER WARNINGS // disordered eating , fasting , nausea , dizziness , eating disorders , bruising , mental breakdowns

𖥻 CHARACTERS: bennett, fischl, razor

𖥻 WORD COUNT: 1193 words, 6518 characters

𖥻 TIME: 4 min 44 sec reading time, 9 min 10 sec speaking time

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

"ah, not again! agh-" bennett cried, the slippery salmon falling out of his hands once again and into the river that had mysteriously moved closer and closer than he'd realized. it leapt above the water twice more, twisting in the evening light, taunting him before turning and escaping. he stood there barefoot, watching the fish disappear. another whole day wasted trying to catch some food to eat after his fishing rod had been snatched by a bird. and the day before that had been the same... and the one before...

his chest tightened even further and tears began to spill out of his eyes. the boy collapsed onto the river bank, drowning but not really because this was the longest he had gone without bringing something home to cook- not for himself, (barbatos knows he could go without) but for his dads and for razor.

oh razor. how badly bennett wished he ever deserved him. how badly he wished he could do something good for him, or anything good at all. it seemed to bennett that no matter what he tried to do, all it ever got him was another bruise, another cut, another day without food. the amount of time he spent thinking about food was ironic considering he barely ever had it himself. food was a privilege and he didn't deserve it. this unspeakable challenge of his was a dangerous one and a game he loved to play, but it was slowly killing him as much as he tried to deny it.

another? a splash echoed through the darkening trees and bennett looked up. no. just a archons forsaken hilichurl and it's club. waving it around in the air, it squawked and laughed at him, small and pathetic on the riverbank.

here we go again.

bennett woke up with bruises. no shit, but still a bummer because he had to go looking for fish again. he was lightheaded and nauseous but that could be ignored. it hurt. no it didn't; it shouldn't. so he pressed on, skipping breakfast and nearly passing out on the stairs rushing downstairs and out into the streets. he hated it, really but it was the only thing he could rely on: the empty floaty feeling in his stomach and the things he did to control it. he gasped as a cart quickly came up in front of him and before he knew it, he had crashed and was bleeding on the ground.

"oh my god, are you okay?" the woman driving the cart rushed over to him but covered her mouth in horror at the blood and bruise blossoming across his leg. god it was selfish of him but he almost enjoyed seeing her face get paler and paler as her eyes scanned his body. he knew he was thin but he needed to be thinner. "ah- go to, gertie down the street honey, alright? she'll fix you right up and give you some food." and with that, she bustled off.

bennett continued on through the gates and across the bridge, out into the wild where he could relax. maybe he'd meet razor. he hoped so.

he could go for longer.

it would be worth it in the end.

they'd finally be proud of him then

mornings were a favorite of the unlucky boy, because he could start anew. dewdrops were his favorite smell despite how many hours he spent in the kitchen.

"hm, what would fischl like..?" he hummed to himself. was it an attempt to ignore the growing nausea and sharp pains in his belly? maybe. but would it make him happier? as happy as he could be, as sad as that may be.

"maybe some sausage and toast!" a smile lit up his face and he got to work. fifteen minutes and a burnt eyebrow later, bennett exited out the back door of the Good Hunter, hustling down towards the house where fischl stayed with lisa. she would like it, wouldn't she? she always would in her own odd way.

he knocked on the door.

"i'm on my way!" a muffled voice came from the other side and it was thrown open by a disgruntled fischl, her blonde hair messy and in pigtails. looking over her shoulder, bennett could spot a gray haired boy perched on a chair, hair half braided and looking equally disgruntled.

"hello! i brought breakfast for you!" he chirped, stretching out the tray of cooked sausages and pieces of toast. fischl grinned and pulled him inside.

"you are too kind, young bennett." she said and plucked a piece of toast from the platter. razor leapt off the chair and took a sausage as well, grunting in hello to his friend. "at present, razor and i were pondering the possbility of fetching you to this home for well..." she gestured to razor's half done hair. bennett nodded fondly. the braid was less visible than it had been when he had walked in; it was slightly blurry now. or was that just razor being blurry? everything began to go out of focus and bennett found himself dizzy.

"bennett?" razor growled in concern. fischl glanced toward him again and realized that he looked very pale.

"ah- sit down, please?"

he conceded, hands shaking as he put the tray down.

"have you been well, bennett?" she looked at him inquisitively. "you have been troubled lately, and if i may be so brash, very very unstable." bennett was hardly paying attention, too focused on a way to get out.

"bennett wants to eat?" razor sat down next to him and handed him the rest of the sausage. bennett shook his head, frowning. "eat." he looked away.

fischl knew. he had a feeling and didn't know what that would mean. all he wanted to do was be good at something for once in his life and they were going to take that away from him. it had been four days, he could be stronger than that.

"you must have something. you can not live on so little, you shall die." fischl said bluntly. she began to take in what bennett looked like, thin wrists and legs pressed close into his chest; eyes darting anxiously around the room.

"has bennett not been eating?" razor asked softly. bennett shrunk farther into himself. he shook his head slightly and looked at the floor. "bennett cannot starve. not good, bad for mind and body."

"why?" fischl's significantly softer voice took bennett by surprise and he looked up to see tears in her eyes and hands on her hips. "why have you not been eating properly? if another has been threatening your safety i will eliminate them without hesitation. tell me, why?"

"four days." he spoke. "i want to do a week. my bad luck can't make me eat but it can ruin everything else i do."

it was silent. until razor spoke again.

"bennett's luck is not bennett's fault. bennett can work and bennett can be amazing at things that bennett does but if bennett starves then doing anything is not easy. except for dying. dying is easy when bennett starves."

and he began to cry.

#cw disordered eating #genshin #genshinimpact #eating disoder mention #genshin imagines #genshined #oneshot #tw ed thoughts #bennett #bennet genshin impact #fischl #fischl genshin impact #razor #razor genshin impact

25 notes · View notes

honeybeanboo · 2 years

Note

Reading your Genshin Impact ED scenarios made me feel very... understood. It was comforting. Please, take care of yourself, practice harm reduction. I look forward to seeing what you can make for the girls!

oh my god i haven’t been in tumblr in actually forever :( thank you so much

5 notes · View notes

honeybeanboo · 3 years

Text

genshin boys with eating disorders pt. 3

CHARACTERS:

albedo

bennett

chongyun

diluc

kazuha

kaeya

razor

childe

venti ✔

xiao ✔

xingqiu ✔

zhongli ✔

MAJOR TW //

eating disorders

┅ venti ┅

❂ restricting and purging eating disorder

❂ started + time had: during the stormterror crisis - around a year

❂ who knows: traveler

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of venti's ed is discontent and loneliness

it all started with Signora- and the gnosis, oh his gnosis was what kept it all together, kept him together,,, he remembers watching humans as the breeze and wishing he could be in that body

and when he was finally in that body, he loved it

venti cherishes the human experience, he loves eating and he loves endulging in the human treats and experiences! he never understood why so many women around him, and to be fair a couple of men were so concerned about "gaining weight"

it never made sense to him? he could eat as much as he wanted and keep the same petite young look- until his gnosis was gone

he didn't notice for a while, until a little girl saw him walking by and looked confused. "that doesn't look like the statue? the statue is smaller...?" and it stuck in his head, it wouldn't leave

diluc wondered where he had done when he didn't show up at the tavern, wondered why he had stopped eating much, wondered where he went when he finally came back and ate to his heart's content and then left abruptly

he hates this human body now, he hates how it rolls and shakes - venti pinches it and frowns at how quickly it seems to go from boylike god to big and unwanted -- and it escalates quickly, he cuts off the bar, making the excuse that he wanted to drink less, avoids food and any time anyone offers him food, he smiles brightly and says he had a big meal just before :(

he's alone - alone in the bathroom throwing up the alcohol and dinners, alone on the cliffs, running up and down with tears on his face because only now does he realize how lazy it is to drift on the wind instead of dashing on the ground, he's alone in the Windrise tree- hands bruised and bloody from climbing up through the branches

all the places he thought were peaceful and comforting are now tainted with his trapping thoughts

- traveler heard him, they wouldn't leave his side after the angel's share and he resented that, he felt his panic growing and growing and before he knew it he was shaking,,, crying around the toilet with blood on the seat from his raw throat -- and so the traveler knew

┅ venti ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: almost out of nowhere, around 5 years

❂ who knows: traveler suspects

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of xiao's ed is self-hatred and bargaining

he doesn't remember when it started, he only remembers how good it felt to starve, how satisfying it is to kill enemies with an empty stomach- he's quiet and likes it that way

nobody ever knows because he just teleports away, disappears within seconds if anyone gives him so much as a judgmental glance

it's rewarding, almost as much as ridding liyue of his karma, because it's punishment, redemption, right? cleaning both inside and out, depriving himself of food like the nation was reprived,,, it's a balance, right?

xiao travels liyue, visiting caves, stuck in the endless cycle of self-revenge, but he can't die so it doesn't really matter to him

he deserves the pain doesn't he?

since he never really befriended people, it never occurred to him that it could hurt someone else, he never stopped to think how to hide this from a friend- he didn't have a problem, it was just something to rid himself of the unbearable hatred and guilt... so why did terror ignite in his chest at the thought of the traveler knowing

so he does everything and anything to keep them from finding out :( leaving in the middle of conversations, making excuses, turning down gifts, and it hurts his heart more than he thought it would, seeing their smile slowly turn into a sad frown

- he sees it as making himself suffer, a good trade for what he's done, the lives he's taken- bargaining with his own mind

- he doesn't realize he's addicted to the way it feels until he's forced to eat and immediately retreats for days, feeling immense hatred yet again

- he starts to let his guard and demeanor down around the traveler, his only real friend besides zhongli and even that is a stretch

┅ xingqiu ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder (w/orthorexic tendencies)

❂ started + time had: when he saw a girl writing down her cals in a notebook, around 4 months

❂ who knows: no one

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of xingqiu's ed is secrecy and recording

it's a bunch of different things that got xingqiu's disorder started, from building pressure from his family, to what he wanted to do, to just his overall bookwormy nature, it seems like a recipe for disaster

and sadly it was, although the last push was by coincidence

a small glance in the library and he was pulled toward this girl, quite thin, writing down something in her notebook and another glance told him that it was meals, portions, nutritional details and he was immediately hooked

it spiraled badly from there, starting small with markings of eating a meal every time he would have it, then starting to notice other people not doing the same, the boy began to feel above them, since he could be precise and small, why couldn't they?

and so he did more, he made charts, he kept a daily track of each small meal, numbers filling up a navy bound journal and his brain every day, it seemed fine, he thought it would be good for his future as well since he wanted to be a hero, wanted to swing his sword with ease

xingqiu is already small so this only grows more concerning to random passerby who whisper to each other, "he's smaller than i remember"

- he carries his notebook everywhere, calling it his poetry archive and when chongyun asks, he doesn't even falter, reciting a poem from thin air

- he's hard on himself when he passes a certain number:(

- recently, he constantly feels dizzy, which he records down as a new symptom of his "mental strength"

┅ zhongli ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: when he gave away his gnosis, around 8 months

❂ who knows: childe wonders but doesn't think much

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of zhongli's ed is denial and pride

the geo archon wouldn't seem like the kind of person to deny himself anything right? considering he's also Morax, but when he handed his gnosis over, the man might have dove into human living a little too quickly

hunger and poverty was the main thing that he wanted to experience but it backfired

hunger was part of being human right? and that was what he wanted, so he starved, taking note of how it felt, how his mortal body reacted and he enjoyed it, it felt cleansing

and so he continued, increasing the length of his fasts and resenting the days where he would eat normally, or "ate like a god" as he liked to call it

it's quite convenient when he runs out of mora because there's his excuse easily grasped and childe just laughs it off

he doesn't even realize that this isn't normal, for being so smart, the man doesn't seem to observe how everyone else around him ate-- or maybe he does and simply chooses to fast anyway :(

- admitting it would mean he would have to give up this lifestyle he had begun to become accustomed to

-------------------------

part three! and final part is done hehe

#genshin #genshined #genshineating #eating #cw disordered eating #tw ed thoughts #tw ed #tw eating disoder #eating disorder #tw eating disorders #genshinimpact #venti #xiao #xingqiu #zhongli

41 notes · View notes

honeybeanboo · 3 years

Note

as someone with an ed reading ur genshin posts makes me rly sad, i hope u recover when ur able to and everything goes well for u... on a side note, i’m pretty sure noelle has ed issues (her voiceovers about favorite and least favorite food)

aww :( ty anon ur very sweet, i’m not ready to recover yet so i won’t for a bit but maybe in the future! and yes ! i did notice that i will be doing one for the genshin girls as well hehe

5 notes · View notes

honeybeanboo · 3 years

Text

genshin boys with eating disorders pt. 2

CHARACTERS:

albedo

bennett

chongyun

diluc

kazuha ✔

kaeya ✔

razor ✔

childe ✔

venti

xiao

xingqiu

zhongli

MAJOR TW //

eating disorders, passing out, cutting accidentally, alcoholism, cuts in mouth, suicidal idealation

┅ kazuha ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: after his friend died - about a little over a year

❂ who knows: no one, traveller kinda

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of kazuha's ed is self-hatred and agility

traveling all alone used to be a calmer, a soother for the samurai but as he wandered along the forests and cliffs of liyue, his resentment and loneliness grew

he blames himself for his friend's death and it eats up at him badly, no pun intended - he begins to cut back on the rations he brings, goes off into nowhere and chooses to be alone

before he met the traveller, his disorder had reached an all time low, barely eating more than 300 cals a day (although it was hard to count in this world) he would get careless with his sword and accidentally cut himself all the time, but convince himself he needed to keep doing this to be nimble and ride among the wind

kazuha's story is quite sad in this sense, nobody but the traveller notices his odd and concerning eating habits when they first saw each other on the ship and how he seemed thinner every time they saw him,,,

he would wander through the trees, trying to distract himself from the pains in his knees and his head and everywhere, because oh god it was everywhere all the time from walking - one day he passed out in the forest and was taken to a healer in Qingce Village where they expressed concern :(

- "i'm not good enough yet" this is a constant mantra for him, he wants to ride the wind, he wants to get closer to his friend that he failed

- he's very very good at hiding his self-loathing, at the very least it seems like him being humble!

- he gets dizzy very easily :(

┅ kaeya ┅

❂ binge eating disorder + alchoholism + bulimia

❂ started + time had: recently - a couple months

❂ who knows: no one explicitly, but pretty much the whole knights of favonius knows, everyone's worried

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of kaeya's ed is drinking and depression

maybe the build up of everything? maybe the tension between him and his brother? no one really knows what happened to the flirty boisterous cavalry captain, but he manages to keep up the persona even when people see him blackout drunk at the angel's share, eyes numb and dark

his eating disorder started really kicking off when he fell ill and had to step away from his position for a few weeks,,, this brought back intense feelings of self loathing, he would lay in bed and think about how worthless he was to the other citizens and how they never really knew him - not the real him from Khaenri'ah

he started drinking heavily, his personas switching like night and day, the happy, flirty Kaeya during the day would do his duties, although tiredly sometimes and he would go home, go to the bar and drink

drink until he couldn't see his own hands in front of him, nor his brother's defeated and worried eyes over the glass he was pouring --stumble home and throw up- a vicious endless cycle that would always end up with him in his home either binge eating anything he could find or laying in bed numb

listening to the rain patter on the window above the captain's headboard was one of his favorite pastimes alone at home with only his thoughts to accompany him

- he thought he was alone, he would come to work in the morning and be his same old self, obvlivous to the scene he had caused the day before

- people worried, people told jean to talk to him, but jean had tried and he would never listen

┅ razor ┅

❂ PICA

❂ started + time had: from when he was a young boy + around 11 years

❂ who knows: his family + bennet & fischl

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of razor's ed is boulders and shame

he had never known how eating things that weren't meant to be eaten was wrong or dangerous at all, after all, wasn't he raised by wolves? eating rocks, albeit small ones is completely fine! as well as hair, wood...

when it started he can't really remember, just the insatiable hunger for that boulder and it only stopped when drops of red spread out on the granite and he was pulled away by sharp teeth on his collar,,, but it didn't stop there, he nips at grass and dirt and collects it to eat later, late at night only to throw up, retching blood and splinters

his body is different, he knows that and is ashamed

his stomach can't handle it, he can't handle it, but the hunger won't stop

- bennett constantly offers him cooked meat instead of the plank he notices razor had picked up along the way

- everyone worries about his health, they worry about the scratches all over him on his tongue but they don't know how to help him :(

┅ childe ┅

❂ binge eating disorder

❂ started + time had: started a couple months after he met zhongli + a year and a half or so

❂ who knows: no one, but zhongli is starting to pick up on it

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of childe's ed is pride and control

a lot of eating disorders tend to center around control right? well that's exactly what childe's isn't,,, although that's what he tries to have :(

one hard night and he was alone, eating everything until he was full and then kept going, he couldn't seem to stop and it practically broke him, a harbringer of the Fatui losing control like this, he felt pathetic

and so it continued, every time he had a hard day. which began to feel like more and more often, it seemed--- he would feel himself being drawn to food and before he knew it, his wallet was thinner and he would come back asking for more refills and he could afford it but everytime it would hit him when he went back home

zhongli noticed, he did

he thought himself poorly when it began to show on childe's physique and he noted it, he noticed how defeated his friend looked after a bad day, almost like he had resigned himself to something -- he noticed how hard he pushed himself the day after, aggressive in his taunts, almost inviting the geo archon to batter him into blackness

and so he asked him

and childe told

- childe's pride kept him from realizing it was a problem, to him it was just what he had to do to keep in control

- he stopped flaunting his body, he stopped flashing his bright smile during battle, and it definitely showed :(

--------------------------------------------------

and that's part 2!! i'll get to writing part three soon! i'm looking forward to it (venti, xiao, xingqiu and zhongli)

see ya!

42 notes · View notes

honeybeanboo · 3 years

Text

welcome!

this account is pretty much 100% self indulgence! things you find here most likely won't fit what you think they'll be so don't expect them to

i do write nsfw sometimes, although never penetration, i physically cannot write that haha

a lot of mentally ill posts here so watch out oooo

<33 love ya!

4 notes · View notes

honeybeanboo · 3 years

Text

genshin boys with eating disorders : pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: okay first off! i have an eating disorder and i wondered what my favorite characters would be like in my situation! i am not pro-ed whether it be BED, ednos or anorexia or others. i'm using this for comfort and please do not use this post to further your own disorder!

CHARACTERS:

albedo ✔

bennet ✔

chongyun ✔

diluc ✔

kazuha

kaeya

razor

childe

venti

xiao

xingqiu

zhongli

MAJOR TW //

eating disorders, mental health challenges, bodyshaming, dysphoria, self harm, fatphobia

┅ albedo ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: before the traveller arrived, he's had it for a year or so

❂ who knows: sucrose suspects although doesn't hasn't told anyone yet

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of albedo's ed is forgetfulness and recording

he works in his camp all day, at his desk, doing experiments which in itself takes up a ton of his time! what started the behaviors was simply overworking himself and to the point where he was almost getting sick [ :( albedo ] the alchemist would forget to eat, multiple meals a day he would skip, chemicals in the vicinity making it unpleasant to eat, so he would opt for nothing at all

albedo doesn't recognize what he's doing as an eating disorder, he pushes the thoughts away when they remind him of what he's doing and that it's wrong,,, over time, he would end up having a small breakfast and wouldn't eat until dinner, subconsciously slipping into a routine and writing down each meal he would have, taking care to never fill more than half his note-page

chemicals in his lab constantly are bubbling and changing, so even when he decides to eat, they interrupt him and he constantly leaves unfinished food on his desk for sucrose to find later and wonder why he always leaves it there

- has always been secluded but avoids mondstat more and more, sending sucrose into town for errands and stays in dragonspine to do experiments -- this leads to never getting new clothes and in turn, him working to stay in the clothes he has

- denies everything if mentioned, seems confused at the mention

- very protective of his notebook

THIS MAKES ME SAD ALBEDO SOBSD

┅ bennett ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: around the time he became friends with razor and met fischl - around 6 months

❂ who knows: fischl definitely knows but chooses not to say anything due to how bad she is with talking about feelings :(

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of bennett's ed is dysphoria and responsibility

as we all know, bennett has always had horribly bad luck and although he doesn't know it, a lot of people admire him for his perseverance, albeit avoiding his company

he almost always finds a way to overcome the overwhelming hopelessness and guilt of always relying on other people for help and bringing them down with him, but as he enters his 15th year, it gets too much :(

when he met razor, and befriended him, the boy was something of a miracle, he stuck around, he helped bennett and taught him survival tactics :D he was bennett's best friend but bennett felt so incredibly guilty about relying on him for protection, friendship, and good food, he began to turn it away and began to disappear without warning to neither fischl or razor

he would go out adventuring, trying to bring back things to cook for lisa, for razor, for fischl, for kaeya, for diona, he felt like a burden and gave back as much as he could to make up for the consequences his company brought

≡ trans bennet headcanon: he's always been told he's small and thin by his dads, even before transition, so after he began to do more physical activity and bulked up a bit, it weighed on his mind

- dysphoria plays a lot into bennett's ed, not wanting to fill out the curves he always hated

- after a particularly bad batch of eggs he had cooked up, he threw up in the cat's tail's bathroom and that in turn started a small purge cycle before someone in town noticed and took his to the doctor which scared him enough to make him stop

bennett i will just sob and cry on the floor

┅ chongyun ┅

❂ restrictive / purging eating disorder [overeating in beginning]

❂ started + time had: started during his intense studying period for his exorcisms (can't remember the specific method he mentions) - around 2 years

❂ who knows: no one, although an older woman that works at Wanmin Restaurant is worried about him

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of chongyun's ed is control and work

chongyun has always been unstable, whether it be physically or emotionally, due to his build-up of ying energy, so it's no surprise when he bubbles over during the crunch of studying. his teacher pushed him harder and harder each lesson and the things he had to do to keep his stirrings in check weren't the healthiest, one of which was eating specific foods in excess

he bubbled over one day and had a full on mental breakdown, but with his family not near the place he took lessons, he turned to the thing he thought was making his ying energy multiply, not the workload but instead the food

the exorcist's disorder waned off when he met xingqiu, it being the happiest time in his life, a friend to talk to about practically everything, but then when his exorcisms began to only cause distress to the people he thought they would help, his energy became too much and he began purging, which helped enough for him to continue [ :( i'm so sad ] the popsicles help to calm his stomach after a purge and he came up with a low cal recipe to eat tons of

- the calories didn't matter much to him, but xingqiu was very into numbers as well as books, so it began to weigh on him

- he passed off any bad mood as just tiredness from his work

- xingqiu, my man i love him but he's completely oblivious although slightly worried about "burnout" for his friend

┅ diluc ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: around when him and kaeya were fighting, like really fighting and he hurt him badly - 3 years

❂ who knows: a lot of people suspect, but either dismiss it, or are too scared to confront him due to his intimidating nature T-T

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of diluc's ed is discipline and control

diluc tends to be very critical of himself and very hard on himself, which you may not know just from talking to him, or even from being a friend of his, as he tends to keep a lot of stuff to himself - if he makes a mistake, he takes all measures to make sure it doesn't happen again

when he and kaeya were fighting and things got violent, he burnt him quite badly right on his eye which is the reason why the captain wears his eyepatch - this scarred the brothers' relationship badly and diluc quite took literally took those scars unto himself,,, he would let himself be burned easily by his elemental powers, constantly feeling the immense guilt of their tension :[ he healed easily, but would do it again and again

although kaeya forgives him, diluc continues to remind himself every so often that he is the reason for problems, taking the responsibility to fix them, even though they may not even be his! he acts alone and aloofly even when the other person doesn't blame him in the slightest [ TT ]

diluc doesn't drink, he doesn't want to lose control, he never wants to loose control, which is why people almost never see him eat

he eats in small portions and toughs it out, disciplining himself, trying to prove himself worthy to no one but himself

- people have offhandedly mentioned that the bartender never seems to eat or drink - "hardly seems human sometimes"

- when he was caught by the traveler being the darknight hero, this worsened this "discipline" for himself, the man not thinking himself worthy if he was defeated so easily

≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡

and that's part 1! i'll make a part two soon because this is really fun and i really enjoy making these- i will include a more wide range of eds in the second part which will be kazuha, kaeya, razor, and childe

bennett's really made me sad dang

anyway bye!

#cw disordered eating #genshin #genshinimpact #genshin imagines #eating disoder mention #eatindisorder #genshin boys #albedo #bennet #chongyun #diluc

42 notes · View notes