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elysianhades · 2 months

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Mystic Messenger X Genshin Impact

Yesterday while I was trying to sleep I got some bad brainrot about what mystic messenger character's visions would be if they were in the Genshin world. I also thought of what their weapons would be and what their fighting styles would be, once I finish putting everything together I'll share that too! Jaehee's was a little difficult because I was torn between two elements but decided to go with the second one.

SPOILER ALERT: 707's real name, Unknown's real name, Jaehee past mentioned (super briefly), V's past

Saeran has an Anemo vision. Something baby Saeran, Ray, Suit, Unknown, and Saeray have in common is their desire for freedom and how that was the only thing keeping them going when everything else seemed to be against him.

He gained his vision when he was a kid, after Saeyoung took him outside to eat icecream and they made their promise.

Saeyoung has an Electro vision. His drive and desperation to protect Saeran no matter the cost is what got him his vision, something that he later uses to protect his other friends.

He gained his vision from a younger age, probably after their mom had a blow up and Saeyoung was helping Saeran.

Yoosung has a Hydro vision. His need to prove himself to the people around him and keep up appearances is a strong factor into how he got his vision.

He gained his vision a little after he met Rika for the first time, when he truly started working with others and tried to help them. Meeting Rika was the turning point in his life.

Zen has a Pyro vision. He is passionate about his hobbies and the people he cares about. He is very in touch with his morals and the things important to him, not afraid to fight if something important to him needs protecting.

Him gaining his vision is what really caused him to drop out of school and run away from home. It was after he got it that he realized how great it felt to be himself and he vowed to never change himself for other people.

Jumin has a Geo vision. He has goals and plans on how to get them, while also keeping things he enjoys close to his chest unless you are someone close to him.

Jumin got his vision at a very young age, around grade school when he really started to notice how different everyone was to him in how they thought.

Jaehee has a Dendro vision. When Jaehee wants to know about something she is relentless in getting that information until there is nothing left that she can do to get that information. She is also very adept at changing conversations and taking control of topics that she does not want to talk about.

She got her vision a little after her parents died and she started living with her uncle; determined to gain knowledge to make it on her own.

V has a Cryo vision. He didn’t realize the love he had for his mother until it was too late and he took that hard and has not recovered, trying to show someone else the love his mother was trying to show him.

He got his vision the night his mother died, but it was too late to save her. He rarely uses it.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger saeran #zen mystic messenger #mystic messenger saeyoung #mystic messenger yoosung #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger zen #mystic messenger jaehee #mystic messenger v #genshin impact

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elysianhades · 2 months

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thinking about shouto being jealous and just like. looming over you and the guy you're making conversation with. blank-faced, not saying anything, just occasionally edging in between you so that his shoulder blocks your view mid-sentence and you have to keep yanking him back.

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elysianhades · 2 months

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now that i posted that drabble i have an idea on how to end it are you kidding me

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elysianhades · 2 months

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tiny drabble

I've had this just sitting around forever and at this point I don't think I'm going to finish it because I don't know where I was wanting it to go but I wrote too much to just scrap it so here ya go!

If for some reason I get an idea on how I want it to end I'll fix it up :D

Saeran x Reader

What I imagine the start of a weekend would be like.

Weekends were never really a relaxing thing in your house growing up. It was the two days that your parents had the day off from work so it was prime time to catch up on all the chores that had accumulated over the week. Saturday was the inside of the house, vacuuming and scrubbing the floor, dusting all shelves, laundry, cleaning windows, and once a month you’d be forced to help move around the furniture. Sunday was always the day you and your siblings dreaded the most because that was yardwork day- or if the world really wanted to spite you- cleaning the garage as well.

Weekends consisted of waking up at 6:30 and getting a quick snack before working until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. It didn’t matter that the place wasn’t messy and everything you all did was done the week before either, it had to be done again like it hasn’t been cleaned in years and people were coming over. Needless to say, weekends weren’t something you really looked forward to, it was always stressful and after those days of cleaning, it was back to school until the next one. When you got older and got your first couple jobs, you were almost glad that you worked on the weekends because at least then you’re getting paid while being on your feet all day moving back and forth. But like most everything else in your life, Saeran was able to make something you hated into something you looked forward to.

Now on the weekends, it doesn’t matter when you wake up or who wakes up first, you both would stay in bed until the other would wake up and be ready to get up. More often than not it’s Saeran who wakes up first- although the days when you manage to wake up before him are your favorite because you get to see him wake up with his morning hair and sleepy eyes- with you waking up soon after. You both slowly wake up, basking in the other's presence and listening to the birds outside chirp and sing as they start their day.

There is never a rush to get up and start working. Never stress or guilt or dread for staying in bed for just a few more minutes. When you both managed to roll out of bed (which changes on each weekend. There are never enough cuddles) you still take your time walking to the kitchen, planning the day’s agenda and what you both wanted to eat.

“Ah, I forgot I left the bread out last night to make french toast. Does that still sound good to you, lovey?” You say, yawning in your hand as you look at the french bread slices laid out on the table.

“That still sounds delicious, my love. Do you want any help making breakfast?” Saeran smiles, touching the small of your back as he passes you.

“Uhhh not with the food, I got that. Do you want to start boiling water for tea? I’m craving that one oolong drink I made a while ago that you still need to try.” You follow Saeran’s touch, flicking on the overhead light as you both enter the kitchen. He nods before grabbing the blue kettle from its spot in the cabinet.

The sun is still coming up when you glance out the window. No one else is going to wake up for a while -which is perfect- it gives you both time to enjoy each others company without Saeyoung giving you both kissy faces or Yoosung and Zen cringing at how ‘lovey-dovey’ you both are being, not that them being around changes how you both act around each other and you both know the teasing is good natured anyways.

“Do you wanna turn on some music? Or just want to listen to the birds outside?” you ask, looking over your shoulder and gesturing to the speaker with your elbow and walking over to the fridge. There are multiple tiny speakers spread around the house. Some of them are in normal places you know, where you would expect speakers to be, beside the doorway to the kitchen, on the wall beside the window, and one on the dresser in your shared room. The others though… are in questionable places at best. There is a speaker in the shoe/coat closet, in the doorway leading down stairs, under the table in the living room, and even one where you keep the towels?? To be perfectly honest though, the one under the table might be there for prank purposes (Yoosung being the primary target) and because your brother-in-law saw no reason for there not to be a speaker in the places he put them.

“We should listen to music, I’m sure there are songs on your playlist I haven’t heard yet.” Saeran laughs as he turns the stovetop on and puts the water filled kettle on top.

Patting your pockets as you continue to look in the fridge, you pull your phone out of the pants you borrowed- stole- and unlock it with your finger. You glance at the top playlist before connecting it to only the kitchen speaker before pocketing your phone again and pulling out the milk and eggs from the fridge. A familiar tune starts to play as you set the things in your hands on the counter and turn around on your heel to grab two big bowls.

“Why hello there, handsome.” you smile as Saeran stands in front of the cabinet you needed to reach. He smiles as he grabs your hands and guides you over to him.

“Hello angel.” He hums and holds you tightly. You sigh and lean against him just taking in the morning and the feeling of being in his arms. It’s your stomach that brings you out of the moment.

“Not that I don’t enjoy this lovely, but I do need to get the bowl that's behind you.” You smile, rubbing your finger on Saeran’s cheek as you talk.

“Really? The one behind me? Are you sure?” He smiles cheekily, pretending to think for a second.

You knew he stood there on purpose just so he would have the excuse to hold you. Rolling your eyes playfully you nod.

“Yeah, unless you want me to try making the batter on the counter or on a plate, which I would not recommend, that would be a huuuuge mess.” Your nose wrinkles in distaste just thinking about the mess that would make.

“Well, we wouldn’t want that.” He sighs but still doesn’t move.

“Mhm, a tragedy. Are you gonna scooch?” You lean closer to his lips.

“That depends. I’m pretty comfortable here, my love. I might need a little motivation.” He smirks, dramatically pouting.

Humming slowly you lean in to kiss him, knowing that’s what he was hinting at and what he truly wanted. He eagerly leans in, chucking as he does so. Whenever you two kiss the rest of the world disappears, it’s just you two in the moment. Only the love you two feel for each other. When you pull away- mainly because you need air; you would kiss Saeran’s cute smug little face any day forever if you could- Saeran moves both of you away from the cupboard (you still needed to get into) his cheeks red and eyes happy.

“You know,” you start to say, giving him quick kisses between every few words, “if you wanted a kiss you could have asked. I’m never going to say no.”

“I always want to kiss you, angel. There’s nothing else in the world I would rather do. I love you.” He murmurs against your lips.

“And I love you, with everything I am.”

* * * * *

You crack the eggs into the wide glass bowl, pour a little bit of milk, vanilla, and a lot of cinnamon into the mixture, before starting to whisk it together. Saeran stands behind you, holding your waist and watching with his hand on your shoulder. This is a recipe you haven’t shown him yet, it’s your dad’s recipe and while you can’t make it taste exactly how your dad does you haven gotten close enough with how often you used to make it.

“Do you have a preference between more eggy or more milky?” You ask, tipping your head back.

“How does adding one change when it’s all finished?” He murmurs, kissing your shoulder once more.

“Hmm, actually? I don’t know? I just remember my dad liking it more milky and my mom more eggy. Maybe when it’s more eggy it’s more firm?” you ponder out loud and sprinkle some more cinnamon into the bowl. You feel his chuckle in your ear before he leans back to think.

“Is there a way you prefer it? We could try that one this time and then the other kind next time.” He suggests, watching the tiny cloud of cinnamon disperse.

Now you stop to think before putting two more glugs of milk into the tan mixture. You whisk slower now to see if any of the egg yolks hadn’t been broken up yet. When you don’t see any lumps then you turn to the cookie sheet of bread that’s across one the stovetop and then the skillet.

“Could you check the skillet?” You ask, dropping a few extra drops of vanilla in.

You look over your shoulder when Saeran’s hands leave your waist. He walks over to the pan and holds his hand over it to check its temperature. You take this opportunity to admire him. Even though you both have been awake for a little while, his hair still looks like he just rolled out of bed, it’s sticking up in different directions. His pajama shirt has the top two buttons undone, letting his collarbones show [ most likely because he knows you’re weak to the sight]. You love how confident he looks when he is in his element, it’s a great look on him. He cocks his head to the side and hums in thought.

“I’d say it’s ready, my love.”

The crisp air immediately bites your nose as you step off the back porch, it almost makes you want to sneeze. The brisk breeze blowing causes more red-orange leaves to fall off the trees. The branches are almost all barren, only handfuls of leaves are left, gently swaying in the wind until they too, fall off. The smell of the outside stirs the memories of taking hikes when you were a child, collecting leaves and laminating them to make bookmarks or wall art. It reminds you of the autumn fairs your father used to take you to, the carnival games and the huge farm tractor filled with hay that would take you to the different parts of the farm. The smell reminds you of the annual family photos you guys would take, with the falling leaves surrounding you. Autumn was truly your favorite time of year.

The apple, peach and plum trees are empty, those being the first to be empty, the fruit being used to make cobblers, jam, pies, or flavored butter. The berry bushes are barren and the flower beds are empty (fully weeded and everything) to let the soil rest.

You turn when you hear the back door close shut behind you, signaling your husband finally found where his gloves are and is now ready to help. The small meow also is telling that your kitten has followed him out. You both are bundled up with handmade gloves, scarfs and hats. You have on a blue puffer coat and brown boots and Saeran has on a pink puffer coat with black boots. The fluffy maine coon kitten is wearing a plaid bandana on his neck, his kitten fluff causing him to look like a spiky dust bunny.

“What are we starting on?” Saeran laughs, looking around the yard and at Bramble who is now chasing a falling leaf. His bandana is all you both can see.

“Well, we don’t have much left to do… how about we take care of the leaves that have fallen so then we can plan where we want to put up decorations.” You sigh, talking in the smell of fall around you.

Nodding in affirmation, Saeran starts to walk over to the shed where you two keep all your tools. It’s a pretty big shed, you never really knew how much space some of the tools took. The shed itself is mauve with hand painted designs on it, courtesy of you, Saeran and Seayoung. Saeran had wanted to make it completely unique and original, so all three of you spent a few afternoons in the past painting it. In the end, the building was covered in things that shouted ‘Choi Household’, your designs, Saeran’s flowers and bees, and Saeyoung’s constellations- pretty hectic all things considered but still yours. Whenever you look at it, you feel the happy moments you guys had painting it which never failed to make you smile.

The doors are simple black double dutch doors, the kind that can open at the top while still staying shut. An unfortunate circumstance involving Bramble is what encouraged you both to install one and overall, it is very handy. If you are ever cleaning in there it’s very nice to have the top open to let the breeze in while not having to worry about stray chickens wandering in. The doors always stay locked if either of you aren’t working outside just as a precaution.

Inside is full of every garden tool you’d think you need but doubled. Bags of soil and fertilizers sit in the corner. Pitchforks, hatchets, rakes, and shovels line the walls each on its own hook. A wheelbarrow with handheld spades and shovels, gloves and knee pads hanging off the sides is tucked next to the door for easy access. The older flower pots are stacked in the opposite corner of the bags of soil, close to the deck flower beds and the hanging baskets. There is a tall shelf pushed against the far wall and on it are garbage bags (the heavy-duty ones), chicken scratch, rubber boots, and other tiny miscellaneous items. The overall smell of the shed is very earthy, like you are in the middle of a dense forest, surrounded by nature. The other tools are in the garage, so Saeyoung could have easy access to them whenever the mood to tinker and build hits him.

You grab both rakes with one hand and attempt to grab a couple garbage bags with the other. The rakes however, decide they don’t want to cooperate, slipping out of your fingers while you try to find the endings of the bags in the box. They fall over and land on the ground with a solid thunk and a rattle of the metal one as the prongs collide with each other. Now with an extra hand, you have no problem grabbing the offending garbage bags.

“Why me.” You deadpan, rolling your eyes when you hear Saeran snort behind you.

With a small giggle, Saeran moves to pick up both rakes. He smiles sweetly at you before turning to leave the shed with the rakes in hand quickly- probably so you wouldn’t try to pick them up one handed again- You follow after him, unlatching the top part of the door and pulling the bottom shut behind you.

“Wanna each do half?” You ask, standing next to your lover as you both look over the yard again, this time to make a game plan.

“Hmmm, how about we do a half together, take a short break and then tackle the last half?” He suggests, watching Bramble chase a bird across the yard.

(There are 4 more pages of different endings this could go down but I didn't like the flow so it cuts off here pretty abruptly sorry about that)

#mystic messenger #mysme #fanfic #mysme saeran #mm saeran #saeran x reader #mystic messenger ray #ge saeran #mystic messenger saeran #mystic messenger x reader

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elysianhades · 3 months

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Tomorrow I’m binge reading all Obey Me lessons imma do it and then it’ll give me motivation to work on the fanfiction I’ve been writing for monnnthhhs

It’s a long one ha

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #fanfic

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elysianhades · 4 months

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ahhhhhhh

When you think of Satan (from obey me)... what words or thoughts or emotions come to mind?

Besides his love for cats and books what else draws your eyes to him

(there are no wrong answers!)

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me satan #om satan #nightbringer satan #satan obey me #satan x mc #demon brothers

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elysianhades · 5 months

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🥀⛓️

#mystic messenger #mysme #mysme saeran

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elysianhades · 5 months

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I swear I’m writing a fanfiction it’s almost done! But while you wait here’s some latte art I did yesterday at my job!

#latte art #latte #matcha #matcha latte

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elysianhades · 5 months

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how does one write a kiss scene??????????

#fanfic

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elysianhades · 6 months

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I wonder who my favorite brother is…. Hmmmmm

I’m still salty I didn’t get the chess costume :[

I’ll get it eventually tho

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie

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elysianhades · 6 months

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I don't need to write more than 1,000 words to post what I'm writing

I don't need- *looks at the draft*

dang

#fanfic #the struggle is real

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elysianhades · 6 months

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The scene where Vanderwood kidnaps Saeran thinking he’s Saeyoung is so funny to me until I think about how Saeran must’ve felt having done SO MUCH to not look like Saeyoung and still getting mistaken for him :(

[Oh, you're going to love looking at this post I wrote about Unknown's tattoo and the subsequent feelings that follow.]

Do you want to know the true reason why he bleached his hair to the roots? Do you want to know why there's some pink in his hair when it doesn't appear as though he did it on purpose? Do you want to know why his dye job looks so haphazard no matter how you try to imagine how he did it?

Do you want to know why he looks so drastically different from the last time his brother saw his face? Do you want to know why he has denied himself of his reflection after all these years? Do you want to know why he breaks every mirror he ever comes into contact with?

Do you want to know why he wants nothing to do with his mirror image?

Do you want to know why he doesn't want to look like his twin anymore?

707 Route, Day 10.

Ray Route, Day 10.

Ray's Diary, Special Believer Box.

The Elixir made him feel so sick to his stomach that he couldn't stand anything in the world around him.

The only thing he could think about was the awful, immeasurable pain burning in his veins. There was nothing that could make the pain stop except going along with everything they told him. He had to just listen to everything they said, even if it didn't make sense, even if it sounded like a lie, and no matter how many times he tried to beg and plead, they ignored him and made sure that he did what they wanted him to do.

Over and over and over and over. They tortured him until he believed the twin brother he loved so much was actually a liar who abandoned him and left him to burn.

They trained him to hate his brother so much that the thought of him made him want to vomit, and the idea of seeing his face made him want to claw his skin off.

Even the mention of his name was capable of forcing him to have a visceral reaction, and he admits to this himself to the player as they spend their evening together in the cabin, talking about the best way to handle the situation they're both in, to turn to the RFA now or to let them fend for themselves as he comes to terms with the fact that he didn't know what actually happened to his twin brother when the two of them were separated.

They manipulate him to believe his brother is somebody who stole everything away from him to have a chance at freedom. His brother threw him away so that he could have the opportunity to live a free life without a burden clinging to him. The burden being him. So, his brother stole everything from him, and he concludes that his brother stole his appearance from him as well.

He isn't allowed to even be who he was before his brother abandoned him as far as he knows, and now he has to change himself drastically to be able to look at himself in the mirror. If he doesn't get rid of it then he's going to feel sick every time he stares at his reflection. If he doesn't get rid of it, he's never going to be able to get anything done, because it's going to set off the anger they can instilled in him.

He can't stomach looking at himself because he looks like the person he was trained to hate. His brother took his red hair from him and he can't have it anymore. He's lost something that he should have been able to have forever, and he has to erase it.

That bleach job was done haphazardly and that's why there are pink streaks left in his hair. He wanted to get rid of the color as quickly as possible and the only thing he could think of doing was styling his hair as quickly as he could burn out the horrible image he saw in the mirror every damn time he had the absolute misfortune of stepping into a place where there would be a reflective surface.

He continues to do that over and over again, which leads me to believe his hair is fried to no end. He has to do whatever he can to make sure he doesn't look like his brother, and it makes him angry that he has to do that in the first place.

He went as far as humanly possible to make himself look nothing like his brother so he could look in the mirror. As far as he believes for the longest time, he simply can't look the way he used to because his big brother stole it.

Just like his brother stole his freedom. So, to be put in a position where somebody says he looks just like his brother only fuels his fire. It makes him feel awful inside. It makes him feel disgusted. How dare anybody say he looks like the person who stole everything from him!

The eyes are a byproduct of the elixir, but the hair is something he got rid of on his own. He got rid of it because there was no way he could get any work done if he continued to see a reflection that made him feel like he was going to explode.

How could he get work done if he was trained to hate his reflection?

He sees his brother every time he has red hair and he can't have red hair if it gets in the way of his work.

He has to get rid of it so he doesn't feel sick to the point of rage.

So, does it make sense now why he feels such a visual reaction whenever somebody says he looks like his brother? When you tell him he looks like his brother, the only thing he can think about is how his brother took his freedom away from him and his appearance by extension, and if you point out what he feels was taken from him, it's going to set off a chain reaction of responses that were manipulated into him over years of long and horrible torture.

It's no wonder he lashes out the way he does when somebody says those words.

You know, I think the most difficult thing when it comes to SE Saeran is the fact that I have never believed for a second that he dyed his hair back. His brother probably, more likely than not, wouldn't let him near anything that could be hazardous to his health by himself after the attempts he made on his life. If he told him that he wasn't allowed to be alone with material that could help him continue to bleach his hair, he would give up on doing his hair ever again.

He wouldn't bother to do it again because he doesn't want to be babysat. He's been robbed of his autonomy enough, and if you tell him he can't do it, he's just not going to do it. Saeyoung means well, he truly does, but Saeran has a long road of recovery ahead of him... in a world where he's been left apathetic to everything.

I don't think he goes into rooms that have mirrors if he can help it, even after months of being free from Mint Eye. If he does, he goes out of his way to keep his head down low so he doesn't have to see the red hair looking back at him. It's a sensitive subject for him in every sense of the word.

I also don't think he interacts with anybody that's in the RFA. I know a lot of people write about him becoming friends with the members as he gets used to being around them, but I can't see it happening, That just doesn't pan out for him.

Not only would he be struggling with the guilt he carries about what he did to all of them, this does not even include the fact that Yoosung and Jumin remind him of Rika and V in a way that makes his stomach knot, he would also know that they are nice to him because he’s Saeyoung’s twin. It's not like any of them are going to go out of their way to be his friend because they want to get to know him, they would be doing it for the sake of his brother, and that's not exactly a good way to make friends.

That's the way he would see it.

He doesn't want to be an extension of his brother. You know, the way that they survived was always living by the words “you are me and I am you”; But, right now in their lives as it stands? Those words are... twisted up and tangled with pain that is hard to fathom. Yet, they're the words that Saeyoung uses to bring SE Saeran back from the end of life and death when they talk.

[Now would be a great time to point to my post on Parentification, and how Saeyoung struggles to fall out of the role of a parent to his brother.]

Saeran is a character who wants to be an individual. But, since he is a twin, it's a complicated song and dance to find his sense of self. It's going to take even longer because he spent his entire life being an extension of his brother to be able to survive, and being what Rika wanted him to be. Even in that brief time when he was staying with Rika and V, he wasn’t able to find himself, not wholly.

The only things that he was able to learn about himself were that he loved flowers and he liked to bake. Those are interest that he keeps no matter how far he goes through what they put him through, but he wasn't able to find much out about himself but those two facts, it's good that he was able to have those, but he doesn't know who he is outside of being what others want him to be, and the two things he's ever enjoyed.

#mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi

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elysianhades · 8 months

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My brainrot

So I'm finishing/ writing a fanfiction that has been giving me brainrot for weeks.... It's gonna be a long one I'm not even halfway done with it and it's 4 pages long. It's an Obey me fanfiction and I'm playing around with the point of view but it's still gonna be Mc x all the brothers, but should I make it in chapters or just one huge oneshot??

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #fanfic #obey me x reader

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elysianhades · 8 months

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My Masterlist!

This is a first try for me! I'll add/ update as I make more things ha

Obey me!

Somplace Only We Know- (Mammon x Reader)

Dusty Bookshelves and Stale Thoughts- (Solomon x Reader)

When In Doubt- (Lucifer x Reader)

Rage Inside- (Lucifer x Reader)

Mystic Messenger!

Latte Art!- (Saeran x Reader)

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me x reader #obey me imagines #obey me x mc #solomon x reader #obey me solomon #obey me solomon x reader #lucifer x reader #mysme #mystic messenger #mm saeran #saeran x reader #saeran choi #mystic messenger saeran #masterlist

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elysianhades · 8 months

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Rage Inside

This is the first ever fanfiction I wrote and once again, I had no idea how tumblr worked so now that I actually have a better idea of what I am doing, I decided to repost it here since I'm making a masterlist! This may come as a surprise but Lucifer isn't my first favorite brother despite me writing about him more than the others ha.

Lucifer x Reader

Hurt/ comfort

!Content Warning!

Self hating thoughts, depressive thoughts, past mention of s/h,

Reader is having a break down in this one and is really self induglent for myself, but if this has the chance to comfort others I'm glad!

‘Being bored and being empty is not the same thing’ They hiss, their knuckles digging into their forehead. The overwhelming ache and dullness of their own body screaming. Their mom’s voice echoing over in their mind, taunting and sneering. They need the numbness to stop. Sitting on their desk are the books that they need to read, something that in any other time, they would love to start. The yarn bucket tucked neatly on the shelf, their computer was resting on their desk. So many things that they could do, their mind supplied but, nothing that they could do at the moment. Through the nothingness they felt the start of their anger come back. Something that they could never escape for long, but something that they never did anything with.

Their anger has been with them for years, starting in their young pre-teen years and slowly building and getting more potent as they grew up. Showing an emotion that wasn’t a positive one was not acceptable in their house growing up. Whenever they would go get comfort from their mom after a mentally bad day, they were always met with the same thing. Shame and guilt. ‘If they were unhappy then their parents failed at raising them, right?’ After so many attempts at trying to go to people for help, only for them to compare and remind them how insignificant their problems were, they stopped trying to show that they were having a hard time. Years of swallowed anger and silent resentment followed them into their adult years. Slowly as time went on, that anger has turned and would attack and belittle them.

At that thought, they choke up a sob as they feel their anger start festering in their heart and fingers. Although their eyes were closed, they felt angry tears trail down their face. Years of practice has made them almost a master at not showing people what was wrong with them. ‘Numbness isn’t boredom’ they sob. Anger they are used to handling, they know how to use that as a ground but they also know that after the fresh anger gets used, the numbness comes back and swallows them whole. Their self-control is what they pride themselves on. The ability to work through the problems people throw on them is what makes this pain worth it.

The spite and pettiness that seeps through their core is what they use to keep going. The tall and reinforced walls that they spent years, tears and sweat on building, have one weakness. The one thing that has always been able to get under their skin, their parents. No matter how hard they worked with their brain, no matter how they tried to build up thicker walls for those three in particular, a few words from any one of them will shut them down. While they are down, that’s when their anger takes hold and drowns them. Curling into a tighter ball, they lay down and shake in their emotions, trying and failing to pull themselves back together.

When they woke up that morning, they knew it would be one of those days. The sleep they awoke from was restless, making them feel more exhausted than before they went to bed the previous night. They were always an early riser, more because of them being a light sleeper and needing to wake up and hide at a moment's notice. Something else that they have carried from their childhood. They should have stayed in bed, their muscles ached that morning and a migraine had settled in the front of their head pounding with their heart.

All at once, all the should and shouldn’t haves pours into their mind. Each thought making the heat in their chest and fingertips flare and spark. They shouldn’t have picked up the phone, they shouldn’t have brought their human world phone, they should have left those contacts blocked, they should have known better than to expect anything else than a therapy session with their parents, they should have…. They should have-

A knock on their door is what breaks that spiral. They whip their head up and over at the door. They can see two small shadows underneath the door from their spot on the floor, someone’s feet. The cold feeling of panic is enough to yank the emotions back into themselves enough to get up on shaky and weak legs to answer the door. They took too long to answer, as the person knocked again just as soft. Feeling their hand shake as they reach out to turn the handle, they take a deep breath.

The door opens to Lucifer, whose hand was up in the air like he was about to knock again. The air around him was the same as it always was, put together and self assured. Not a stray hair was out of place and not a wrinkle was seen on his clothes. Really the only ‘imperfection’ was the bags under his eyes, evidence of all the late nights he would stay up doing work. Seeing him here and seeing him now makes your stomach twist in fear. Since there was a knock, you knew that being on the other side wouldn’t be Mammon, Asmo, or Beel but, you hoped that it wouldn’t be the one who you had the most problems keeping up your facade with.

“My dear, I couldn’t help but notice that you left the library quite briskly and you looked upset. Is there anything I can do to help?” His smooth and deep voice eased some of the angry scratching in the back of your mind. His crimson eyes slowly look between yours, trying to find a clue to how he can help.

Being around Lucifer was a blessing and a curse. His pride is something you could relate to in a sense, having to do things on your own, having people depend on you and looking up to you giving you no chance to show how weak or how tired you were. You both found ways around both of your pride to help and be around each other, that is what started your relationship. The trade off however, is that he knows when something knocks you off your feet. You knew you couldn’t hide this from an eldritch being who has been alive longer than you can even comprehend. That made you happy in a sense but, it also stung and stabbed at your own pride.

In the beginning, it was laughable how much you two didn’t get along. Both of you tried to assert dominance over the other. You didn’t care that he could probably kill you by looking at you if he wanted, you refused to roll over and he refused to let up. As suddenly as this tiny ‘rivalry’ started though, it ended and if it was brought up again, both would shrug and go on.

“Yeah, but it’s over now.” You say quietly, not trusting your voice to be much louder and trying to swallow the rage that started gnawing on your bones. The resentment towards yourself was flowing through your blood, locking up your limbs and making your eyes burn as more tears started to build. The already poor handle you had on your emotions was cracking and just the thought of losing composure made a dagger of rage stab your heart.

As if sensing the feelings going through you, Lucifer slowly puts his hand on your chin, making you meet his gaze. That soft action made you break, the tears rolling down your face uncontrollably. You scoff at yourself irritation at the action, not being able to stem the flow and bringing your hand up to scrub at your eye, making the male in front of you frown.

“Can I come in, dearheart?” He asks softly, holding your hand so you wouldn’t scratch your eye accidentally. You sob, nodding your head. When you move to pull him into your dark room, your knees give out. His firm grip on your hand is what saves you from falling and hurting yourself. Picking you up, Lucifer gently closes the door and navigates the room to your bed.

“I’m sor-sorry.” You sob, grabbing his shirt tightly as you try to swallow the hatred rising up. Lucifer resists the urge to interrupt, combing his still gloved hands through your hair after he gets situated on the bed. He remembers late night conversations about how to best interact and show care when anything could set you off and make you isolate in spite. He hums softly, so you could feel the vibrations from your place cuddled into his chest.

“I.. I know that answering tha-that call would set, set-set me off.” You try to say, the lump in your throat making the words get stuck. “Make it-it-it stop plea-please I don’t want to feel this.” You can feel yourself get pulled into the storm of your emotions. Trying to breathe through it is awakening the loathing in you and your brain starts spitting insults, trying to get you to shut Lucifer out, telling you that after seeing this, he is going to see how weak you are. He is going to leave, he is going to leave, he is going to leave.

“Love. I need you to breathe. That’s it. Keep going, remember the box.” Lucifer hums, rubbing the base of your neck. You nod shakily drawing a box on Lucifer's chest. Up, breathe in, side, breathe out, down, breathe in, side, breathe out.

The anger in your blood is rushing, bubbling, boiling. The audacity to make him worry. When he already has so much to deal with here you come, throwing your problems onto him in an attempt to make yourself feel better. You always have to be the center of attention don’t you? You’re so selfish.

You shudder a sob as your thoughts get louder. The fire of rage burning through your skin. You feel like you are bursting at the seams, the anger oozing out of you and corrupting anything it touches. Which sends yet another wave of resentment through you. As far as the brothers know, you are this innocent sweet thing, not capable of hurting anything. If only they knew how wrong they were.

“Stop thinking things like that, you know it’s not true.” Lucifer says calmly, his voice carefully constructed to avoid offending you. You latch onto his voice willing your heart to slow the flood of poison through your veins. If taking deep breaths aren’t helping then the next best thing is to find somewhere else for that energy to go. Reaching for Lucifer’s hand, he puts his big hand in yours. You take off the glove slowly, giving him time to resist if he wanted to.

His hands are pale and nimble, his perfect manicured nails (courtesy of Asmo) are a deep red. You run your fingers along his hand, feeling the skin and using the texture to ground yourself. You smile softly when you make note of just how much larger his hand is compared to yours. It could very easily engulf yours. You intertwine your fingers with his and squeeze in a pattern.

“I know your anger isn’t gone, but is it quieter now?” His voice is soft, as he plays with your hair with his free hand. You nod again, taking a deep breath as you look up at him. Your eyes lock and he gives you a small smile free of the usual smugness.

“I got a call. From my parents.” You start, feeling his arm tighten around your shoulders and the smile freeze for a moment. “I don’t know why I even picked it up.”

Now that the anger is in the back of your head, you can feel the urge to slip away, to shut down and let someone else handle this. That isn’t who you are now though. He would make this worse in the long run anyway. You let out a deep breath through your nose, glaring at the floor. Lucifer is still rubbing your back in gentle circles. When you open your mouth to talk again you feel a lump in your throat, one that blocks any words from leaving. Growling at yourself, you hunch your shoulders. A wave of rage flows over you at your inability to get this off your chest.

As if sensing your problem, Lucifer starts humming a soft tune. Not saying anything but letting his presence be known while you wrestle with your emotions. He rocked you slowly as you held his hand and battled with yourself.

“‘You don’t have to have perfect sentences when you need to get things off your chest you know’” Lucifer smiles softly as he looks out the window. You remember saying that to him a long time ago. He wouldn’t tell you what he was thinking because he couldn’t find the right words or the right way to say them to make them sound distant enough that he didn’t have to offer up any more information than he could handle at the moment.

Chuckling softly, you look at him and playfully roll your eyes. He snorts and shakes his head, his chest shaking as he quietly laughs. You sigh for what felt like the millionth time. Starting to feel the corners of your conscious fade. Yawning softly you look back at Lucifer, he meets your gaze.

“I… I know I have to get this out of my head but, could we sleep and talk it through tomorrow after I’ve had a chance to really think about what I want to say?” You ask softly, feeling another yawn take over.

“Of course, my love.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #fanfic #obey me lucifer #obey me x reader #obey me imagines #lucifer x you #lucifer x reader #lucifer x mc #lucifer morningstar #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff

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elysianhades · 8 months

Text

When In Doubt

I wrote this as a request a while ago, but that was before I knew how to use tumblr so really it wasn't formatted well, I have one more that I'm going to post in a minute too!

Lucifer X GN!Reader

Hurt/Comfort

Content Warning! minor body dysphoria, nothing too detailed (if i missed anything let me know!)

There were a handful of times in your daily life when you wished you could get the ‘turning invisible’ spell right, but never have you wanted to more than you have at this moment. As you walked through the halls of RAD, you felt the eyes of hundreds… no thousands of demons on your back. When Diavolo came to you, asking if you could help him with the newest RAD event he was planning, you were beyond thrilled to offer assistance.

He told you he wanted to do a sort of expo on what the human culture is, so the demons who never have been to the human realm can get a taste of what it was (you swallowed a snort at his phrasing of ‘get a taste’ like the demons here never have tried to take a bite out of you). What do you know, you are well informed on this particular subject. The tiny urge to over exaggerate on some details was hard to resist, but the thought of Lucifer’s lecture was quite motivating to be honest. The halls and classrooms were decked in decorations that made the school like a college, all for a day.

You would say that overall, you’re not a picky person, your clothes don’t have to match, your hair doesn’t have to be nice, your priority is comfort. Your current clothes fix is baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt that was three sizes too big on you. The ability to hide in the folds was what got you through the long days in a place far away from home. You aren’t picky. Under normal circumstances, what you see is what you get. Under normal circumstances though, you aren’t being forced to wear clothes that Asmo picked out for you.

Diavolo insisted that everyone wear clothes that match the style of the human world and that the two human students wear something they haven’t before. Not one to be a downer and not wanting to tell Asmo down, he really was being considerate as he picked out what he thought would look best on you and he tried to keep your comfort in mind, you thought this would be fine.

You pull the back of your shirt down, causing the front to cover more of your collarbones. You groan under your breath as you note you still have over 4 classes left today. Not only did your outfit have no hood to hide in, it was short sleeved and you were wearing tight pants. The jacket Asmo let you wear was for show and not for using, it wasn’t comfortable and didn’t cover much. You duck your head as you speed walk to your next class, willing the heat behind your ears to fade.

“Thought they would be over this whole ‘gotta eat the human’ phase by now, it’s only a little more skin.” You growl, passing by a group of lesser demons whose eyes were locked on your form.

You turn the corner fast and collide nose-first into Lucifer. His arms immediately came up to hold onto your elbows, steadying you as you reorientated yourself. The relief is instant, the stares are gone as you bask in the eldest brother's presence.

“Woah, I’m glad you could catch me.” You chuckle, eyes meeting him.

His crimson eyes are locked on your form, on your posture. You usually are more aware of your surroundings, if only to flirt with him with a cheesy pickup line about ‘falling for him’, there is no humor in your eyes. He can see the way your eyebrows are furrowed and how your eyes dart side to side.

“What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you? Say something?” His tone is rough, his eyes darkening as his magic flares. Like the idea of someone hurting you is an insult to his pride and is punishable by death. Your eyes widen and you shake your head rapidly.

“No, nonono! Nothing like that. No one has done anything. I’m just…ready for the day to be done.” You sigh, rubbing your neck sheepishly.

His eyes narrow, looking you over once again. You remember his eyes on you this morning at breakfast when you walked in after getting dressed. He looked like he wanted to say something but never got the chance, his brothers jumping all over you when they were awake enough to notice your presence.

“That’s not what you were going to say.” He raises an eyebrow, not amused. You bite the inside of your cheek in mild annoyance that he was able to read through you that easily.

“It’s nothing big Lucifer, just these clothes.” You gesture to your attire flippantly.

Lucifer quirks an eyebrow before looking you up and down briefly. You could tell he was trying to put the puzzle together in his head, but he didn’t have all the pieces. You think of a way to get what you’re trying to say across without actually saying it, you would die of embarrassment if you had to admit that you felt self-conscious in clothes you agreed to wear.

Just as Lucifer was about to scold you, about not standing up for what you need no doubt, you were saved by the bell and you took that opportunity to sneak under his arm to head to class. He watched you leave with a pensive frown, not knowing what was wrong until he caught the stares of lesser demons looking at you, and it clicked for him.

—

By the time it was lunch, your shoulders were sore from hunching in as much as you were. You walk to the usual eating place you share with Lucifer (Diavolo and Barbatos would join you if they had the spare time and schedules alined), you feel his eyes on you before you see him and honestly at this point, you wanted to sink into the floor so no one could look at you for a long time.

You smile weakly at him before dropping your backpack on the floor and collapsing in the chair next to him, slouching as low as you could to avoid the hungry demon's looks from around you. He tsk’s softly before reaching over and laying his gloved hand on yours.

“If you were uncomfortable, you should have said something. No one would think negatively of you for changing clothes.” His voice is as soft as he could make it, with him needing to maintain his reputation and all.

You look away from him and frown softly, you knew that. You couldn’t count how many times Beel had to change clothes because he’s gotten food all over the ones he was wearing, or how often Asmo changed his to match the current mood he was feeling. The other’s wouldn’t care either, and what you wouldn’t give to have your baggy clothes and huge jacket with you right now.

Lucifer hums lowly and turns back to his food, letting you have your peace for the moment.

What you couldn’t see from your low advantage point was the glares that he was sending to any demon who looked at you for a second too long, or the unamused look followed by his sadistic smirk, demons knew to get out of his sight before he acted on his urges.

After you had left for class, he had taken to watching the demons around you to make sure they didn’t do anything… unsavory to you. You were his afterall, and you needed to be safe. He thought of excusing you multiple times to come to his office or to send you home to change before he lets you come back, but his pride wouldn’t let him make a scene for something that you didn’t ask specifically of him.

There were a few times he would make note of any demon who made you especially uncomfortable, so he could teach them some manners when he had the free time and he was sure you were okay.

You were slowly picking at your food at this point. You wanted this day to be over and to sleep everything off and for tomorrow to go back to normal and how it was supposed to be. You probably won't even do your homework tonight, that’s a problem for future you to deal with.

“You know that I would never let anything happen to you, correct?” His smooth voice breaks you out of your thoughts.

You turn to look at him and that’s when you see it, something that anyone who didn’t know him wouldn’t know to look for. He’s worried about you, his eyes are on yours, not your shoulders or your forehead. His body is turned towards yours, he’s showing his concern in a way that he can, and that thought makes you smile, for real this time.

“Yeah, of course. I don’t ever doubt that.” The itching fear of people looking at you melted away as you felt his love. You were telling the truth, he would never let anything happen to you ever, not now that he has given you his heart and you’ve given him yours. He wasn’t the strongest Avatar for nothing.

“You know you can also tell me anything, yes? I know I’m not the most… approachable demon out there, but I do want to know if something bothers you, or entertains you, no matter how dumb or mundane you might think it is.” His eyes are soft and there’s a hint of a smile in the corner of his lips.

“I don’t know if I can say anything, considering you already know.” You shoot back playfully, shoving a forkful of food in your mouth.

“Might not hurt to get it off your chest. I seem to recall someone,” He pointedly looks at you “telling me that vocalizing what you are feeling is better than just realizing it.”

You feel the giddy feeling and the heat rush up your ears as he calls you out. Clicking your tongue and rolling your eyes, you shrug and lightly pull the front of the shirt.

“Not my style. It feels like everyone is looking at me and it’s not comfortable. I can’t even look that good.”

The sound that comes out of Lucifer’s mouth is forever going to be ingrained in your memory. When you turn to look at his face, it's scrunched up and looks mildly offended. He turns to look at you and seems to dare you to say that again.

“I will have you know that no matter what you are wearing you look breathtaking, you would do well to not insult my darling, I would appreciate it.”

You can’t keep the laugh in at that. You start cracking up. Butterflies are dancing in your stomach and you feel like your face is on fire with how much you are blushing. He sounds so offended that you didn’t think you looked good.

“Ok ok, I’ll keep that in mind.” You chuckle and shake your head, trying to reign in your laughs. That soft look is in his eyes, though the stubbornness is still there, and you knew he was going to be talking about having more pride in yourself later this week.

“How do you think this event is going? Is this close to human college?”

“It’s pretty close haha, it’s a little weird being with you all but with human stuff around. I’m pretty happy with the food. I didn’t know I missed that!” You jump in your seat happily.

It was really nice for things to be more familiar to you, the decorations, the plants- I mean you didn’t have to watch out for any that want to eat you!- the food, oh the food. There’s only so many fried batwing sandwiches or bofu egg milks you could drink without missing a good old pizza.

You are proud to say that you made sure that they wouldn’t serve human-realm cafeteria food, you explicitly told Diavolo the monstrosities that come out of school’s kitchens and okay, you might have overexaggerated a bit at the point, but who is going to know? You are not going to be in the Devildom and eating nasty, rubber-like, can-bounce-off-the-floor-cheese.

“If I knew you were feeling homesick over food you normally like, I would have incorporated some in our dinners.” Lucifer’s tone is inquisitive, gently prodding.

“Oh, well, like I said, I didn’t know I missed it until I actually thought about it. If you were going to change the menu a bit though, I do have some suggestions.” You smile at him excited for the brothers to try your favorite foods, even if you are beyond positive that they have had it before.

You missed this, this comfort of him being there. You feel safe with him, you can breathe with him.

As time went by and the both of you finished your food, you were growing more anxious. Time was getting closer to where you would have to leave this safety bubble. Lucifer noticed you huddling into yourself again and he didn’t like it.

He didn’t like that he would have to leave you to be uncomfortable while you try to get through the day. He was relieved to see you laugh and joke around with him, that you finally were able to let your guard down. His fingers were twitching with the need to help, he needed to think of something and he had to do it fast.

You slowly start to put everything in your bag, trying to stall and find a reason to not go to class for the rest of the day. You felt the clothes hang uncomfortably and unfamiliarly on your body, you weren’t ready to go back to being eaten alive by the other’s eyes.

When everyone starts filing back into the halls and to their next class, you inwardly groan and stand up, swinging your backpack onto your shoulder again and get ready to follow them into the busy school. You are stopped by a gloved hand gently grabbing your wrist.

“Dove, wait a moment.” Lucifer’s grip is gentle but strong, and it grounds you. You turn to look at him, tilting your head in confusion.

Lucifer looks strained, like he wants to do something that he can’t. His other hand is clenched by his side and his eyebrows are set in determination. He looks you in the eye and seems like he is searching for something, but you don’t know what.

When he finds what he was looking for, his face very slightly relaxes by a smidge and lets go of your hand, starting to take off his jacket. You are so confused at this point, did you break him? What is he doing?

He reaches out and gently tugs the bag that's hung haphazardly on your shoulder, getting the hint, you let him take it. He gingerly puts the jacket over your shoulders. As he starts to button it up, your brain turns back on and you sputter.

“What?? What are you doing?? Don’t you need this??” Your exclamations are shushed as he holds your hands away from the jacket, preventing you from taking it off.

“You are uncomfortable in these clothes and I cannot in good conscience, let you go back out there while you are feeling like this. I can’t bring you back home to change because that would make you late for class, but I can give you this and trust me dove, no lesser demon is going to look at you while you are wearing that.”

“Wait, you knew?” Your thoughts are running too fast for your brain to catch up, but the material of the jacket is thick and comfortable, Lucifer is a tall demon so his jacket hangs on you, giving you a sense of familiarity, and there are pockets to put your hands in.

“Did you think I wouldn’t? I’m no idiot, my love. I just needed to think of a solution. Next time, I will be more prepared and make sure you pack another outfit if you are uncertain of whether you can make it through the day in an event.” With everyone else out of the cafeteria, Lucifer is able to give you the affection he couldn’t with all the eyes and witnesses around. You feel your eyes getting hot and you hug him, he gladly hugs back, holding you tight.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, and you shouldn’t wear what doesn’t feel right to you. Whether there is an event or not, we can figure something else out. Do not put yourself in uncomfortable positions because you want to make others happy or you are trying to be someone you’re not.” He whispers in your ear, rocking both your bodies back and forth. You both stay there as long as you can and you can finally breathe.

And what do you know? When you walk into your next classroom, no demon will even look at you, and when you walk through the halls, you are given a wide berth. You leave RAD smiling and joking with all your friends, you make a note to yourself to wash Lucifer’s jacket before giving it back to him.

Lucifer watches you walk home a little ahead of him with his brothers and he can’t keep the smile off his face as he sees you animatedly talk to Mammon next to you. Smiling so wide and with your shoulders relaxed. He would always be there to protect you, and for those who made you uncomfortable… well… Cerberus would be getting some new toys as soon as he was finished with them.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #fanfic #obey me lucifer #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #lucifer x mc #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x you #lucifer x reader

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