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Anakin: We have a problem.
Obi-Wan: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them!
#star wars#obi-wan kenobi#incorrect quotes#incorrect star wars quotes#clone wars#incorrect clone wars#anakin skywalker
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Obi-Wan: Mace likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.
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Obi-Wan: Okay, start from the beginning. What happened?
Anakin: Well, I was minding my own business-
Obi-Wan: BANTHASHIT.
Anakin: I WAS!
#incorrect quotes#incorrect star wars quotes#incorrect clone wars#star wars#obi-wan kenobi#anakin skywalker
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I know people make jokes about Cody wanting Obi Wan to get a wrist strap to attach to his lightsaber so he stops dropping it but this would be equally disastrous as it would be hilarious.
How many of you remember using wii remotes and being made to attach those wrist straps because your parents were worried you were gonna lob it into the TV screen? Whenever you’d accidentally let go of it, it would swing right back at your face like it personally wanted you dead.
If lightsabers had wrist straps, there would be absolutely no need for Order 66 because all of the Jedi would’ve cut themselves in half by the time Palpatine actually wanted to execute the order.
Palpatine: Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order 66.
Cody: Haha so about that…
Palpatine: What is it?
Cody: *shifts the holocomm to show Obi Wan lying on the ground like a broken Lego mini figure*
Palpatine: ?!&!&?&?&!&!&!!&
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Anakin: Hey, do you know my blood type?
Obi-Wan: Yes. B positive.
Anakin:
Anakin: I guessed wrong. Can you get Kix ?
#incorrect star wars quotes#star wars the clone wars#incorrect the clone wars quotes#star wars#star wars incorrect quotes#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#obi wan and anakin
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Dooku, negotiating with Obi-Wan: We have Anakin. Give us ten thousand credits and he will be returned to you unharmed
Anakin: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand credits?
Dooku:
Anakin: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–
Obi-Wan: ANAKIN STOP
#incorrect star wars quotes#star wars the clone wars#incorrect the clone wars quotes#star wars#anakin skywalker#star wars incorrect quotes#obi wan kenobi
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Ummm excuse me bitch
Remember back to the Harvest moon festival where Stolas was real obvious and real public about liking Blitzø? No? Well Wally you should because -
You were fucking there!
#like how did this dumbass NOT realize that stolas liked him?!#or did he just idk FORGET??#either way Wally ur an idiot#absolute dumbassery over here#helluva boss#wally wackford#but I love it#Wally is just so forgetable#Even the creators forgot about him
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Stoliz when it was first introduced, then after episode 6
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Phew…
…for a moment there I thought it was the OTHER brothel owner.
P.S. Fuck you Valentino
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Oh AND ANOTHER THING, Stolas and Blitzo are both broken. They're both failing in this relationship. Neither of them is the "good guy" or the "bad guy", that's the whole point. They hurt each other. They don't communicate. They both have weaknesses to overcome before they can be happy together.
It's not "Oh Blitzo should have been nicer" or "Stolas should be clear on his motives" it's "They both need to get their heads out of their asses and communicate."
If you're taking sides, you've missed the point.
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Episode 7: Psychoanalyzing Stolitz/Why the Episode Ended the Way it Did
So, I've seen a lot of posts (not just on Tumblr) where people argue about who is to blame for what happened at the end of the newest episode of Helluva Boss, and I had to say something. Some blame Stolas for not defending Blitzø, some blame Blitzø for leading Stolas on, and we're sitting arguing about the worst thing to deal with in an abusive relationship such as this one, but after a lot of thought, I've come to the conclusion that this is not how Vivienne wanted viewers to interpret what happened, and here's why:
ART BY PANDALEAFS ON TWITTER
First of all, we know for sure that Stolas has feelings for Blitzø deeper than just sexual, evidenced by his excitement that Blitzø called him to take him on a date (PLEASE RECALL AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE STOLAS DID THINK THEY WERE GOING ON A DATE). He thought this because, although he was the one to call it a date originally, Blitzø did not deny it. Or, rather, he did not deny what it looked like. What Stolas interpreted it as. I'm afraid this was red flag one, people.
The next largest thing I noticed but did not fully understand until after reading a shit ton of YouTube comments, Tumblr posts, and rewatching the episode about ten times, was where the turning point was for Blitzø, because I think it's extremely important if we want to understand exactly what happened here and why it happened.
So, obviously, the entire humiliation scene in general would probably be enough to put anyone in a bad mood, but it's hard to believe that Blitzø's acting out at the end of the episode was only caused by seeing Verosika and Fizz again. He's seen them both before and been called out by both before, albeit separately, yet neither of those episodes ended in a similar way at all to this one. In fact, this is the first time we've seen either Blitzø or Stolas cry, and I wanted to know why that was. I wanted to know exactly which buttons were pushed to make a character like Blitzø so upset. And, after paying very close attention to facial expressions and body language, we can start to piece together where exactly it all went wrong: from the moment they stepped into that club to the moment they left, and which emotions who felt when.
After they're sat down at a table, Blitzø starts to spy on M&M, which is what he came there to do. He doesn't stop to think that what he's doing is rude or unfair, because his and Stolas's relationship has been written as strictly sexual up until this episode. Fans (including myself) have been shipping Stolitz for a very long time but we forget that a romantic relationship between these two characters is technically only semi-canonical. Although they may not have seen each other in a while and Stolas seems to think Blitzø has asked him out on a date, Blitzø still most likely assumes that the relationship they've established thus far, from pilot-ep 6, has not changed. A relationship that can be summarized as: if you do this for me, I'll do this for you. Red flag two, folks.
When Stolas realizes that Blitzø didn't really invite him to spend time with him, and when Blitzø realizes that Stolas really did think this was a romantic date (see above picture), things get awkward. Thankfully for Blitzø, Fizz interrupts this conversation.
Fast-forward to after Blitzø calls attention to himself in an attempt to defend Moxxie (which is for another break-down). He then goes on to be humiliated by Fizz in front of an audience: "Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit" he says, and although visibly upset, this doesn't necessarily seem to be the thing that fazes Blitzø.
When it's Verosika's turn to roast, Blitzø rolls his eyes and appears annoyed. Although, his expression changes as, at the last line of her song, she calls him "reckless" and a heartbreaker.
Stolas rises from his seat, most likely in concern, only to have Asmodeus recognize him. I believe that this is where things really take a turn for the worst.
"Who's that at your table? Is your date a demon prince? Stolas, is that you? My dark lord, how the mighty do fall. You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all.
I hope you didn't give it up so you and him could get it up."
Stolas is visibly uncomfortable to have his and Blitzø's relationship scrutinized and judged so mercilessly by the audience, but Asmodeus himself isn't criticizing Stolas. The Prince of Lust is ecstatic at a display such as Blitzø and Stolas's because their relationship began out of sheer lust for one another. That same sheer lust which, arguably, ended Stolas's marriage and put a damper on his relationship with his daughter. Asmodeus lives for that shit.
And what hurts Stolas is the fact that he CAN'T DENY IT. He can't deny the fact that his sexual attraction to Blitzø may just have ended his marriage, or that his daughter thinks less of him because of it, which brings us to the Menu scene, which is so very easy to misinterpret and isn't talked about enough.
"You sold your life for a thrust
Now that's the spirit of lust."
Blitzø, at this point, feels terrible for asking Stolas here after they both just got attacked. He's embarrassed beyond belief and recognizes that Stolas is as well, so he looks at him apologetically, which Stolas responds to by blocking Blitzø from his view.
From Blitzø's perspective, Stolas did this because he was ashamed to have slept with an imp (imps being the lowest class in Hell, superior only to Hellhounds). Red flag tres. It's not Blitzø's fault that his mind immediately resorts to the most likely conclusion based on his personal experiences. After all, it's a very human thing to do. But it is an issue that I'm sure must be resolved in some way if these two ever have a chance of becoming a couple. No one can be romantically involved with someone whose superiority makes them self conscious. I.e., Blitzø could never be with Stolas if he keeps believing that someone so high-class can't love someone who's lower-class.
His issues don't end there, though. Blitzø clearly hates himself, as evidenced by all those pictures with his face scribbled out in his and Loona's apartment. Until he finds a reason to stop hating himself, I don't see how he'd ever be able to allow Stolas to love him, even if he wanted him to.
The fourth red flag is the reason why Stolas felt the need to block Blitzø from view in the first place. Unless that's not what he's doing. I think the easiest way to explain this is to say: Stolas isn't trying to keep from seeing Blitzø, he's trying to keep Blitzø from seeing him.
Hmmmmm, nope. Still confusing.
Stolas is ashamed, which we've established, but while Blitzø believes that he's ashamed of Blitzø, what he's truly ashamed of is himself. He hides behind the menu because he doesn't want Blitzø to think less of him. Because what Asmodeus said was true: he "sold his life for a thrust" and it's not something he's proud of, but he still has feelings for Blitzø.
ART BY AMES_ARTNANIMATION ON TWITTER
Although, unfortunately, neither have any way of knowing what the other is thinking, and this LACK OF COMMUNICATION is what really hinders any hope Stolitz may have in the future. Their problem is that neither of them know how to say the things they need to say.
When Stolas reaches across the table towards the end of the episode, only to have Blitzø reject him, it's so hard to watch because after that menu scene, we see Blitzø's guard go completely up, and Stolas doesn't understand why.
When Blitzø drops Stolas off at his house, it's clear that this whole experience, from Stolas's perspective, was nothing more than a date gone wrong. So, he invites him inside.
Blitzø, who is now completely certain that Stolas could never want anything more from him than sex, (because how could he? they're on such different levels) doesn't believe Stolas when he tells him they don't have to have sex that night. He doesn't believe that Stolas could genuinely ever want to spend time with him because he must be ashamed of him. And Blitzø thinks Stolas is lying to him when he tells him that he enjoyed their time together, which makes it all the more heartbreaking, because we, the viewers, now know for sure that he isn't lying.
"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time."
Previously, I had struggled a lot with determining whether Stolas's affections for Blitzø were reciprocated, but I think this scene confirms what we've speculated for a long time: there are feelings on both sides that go deeper than the physical. That line really changed the game.
And I screamed at the tv, too, when Stolas let Blitzø drive home without declaring his love for him, but I get it. No one isn't scared of rejection, not even demon royalty. Why he didn't deny only wanting sex from Blitzø, I couldn't tell you. Maybe he figured it wasn't the right time, or that, similarly in episode two, he just doesn't "have the words." Whatever his reasons for not clearing this up, he doesn't do it intentionally, but as was made clear, the car scene obviously struck a nerve.
I don't believe that either of them would have been so upset by what happened if they didn't care. But it was still difficult to see Blitzø's sobbing at the end of the episode after seeing that picture of his mother and sister(?) which seemed to basically drive him over the edge.
In conclusion, I really don't know what they're going to do after this. Most likely, someone's dying, but I don't really want to think about who. Who who.
Please stop arguing about who did what and who's more fucked up. They're both fucked up. They both have issues. It's neither one's fault. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Feel free to agree or disagree in the comments : )
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Was scrolling through Stoliz for more posts about how episode 7 ripped their hearts out till I saw this
#stoliz#helluva boss#i literally paused and asked out loud if that was my blog#like what the hell its a shit blog#i dont even do my own art!
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okay I’m pretty sure it's too late for this but my overthinking part can't handle it so here I go
I don't think I can survive that kind of angst
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Imagine if the Season Finale ends with IMP trapped during the Extermination. (Personally, I don't see this happening but...) God the Fandom would BURN.
-Side Note - I would like some confirmation of how Hell works in the show (If I have to read about it somewhere, I am not counting it). Are Sinners and Exterminators limited to the Pride Ring or Can they go anywhere? Are there Safe Zones? There has to be if Overlords are Hanging around for Centuries, right. How tough are Exterminators?
Thoery for Helluva Boss Finale (Part 2):
It's been exactly a year since episode 1 aired.
...Guess what else happens annually?
#just gonna leave this idea here#helluva boss ep 7#helluva boss theory#helluva boss part 2 season finale prediction#millie and moxxie#millie and moxie's marriage anniversary#helluva boss anniversary#helluva boss 1 year anniversary#because what better way to absolutely destroy us than to get the ball rolling on this idea?#helluva boss#helluva boss cross-over
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Stolitz Love Confession
If it's not like the love confession between Ayuzawa Misaki and Usui Takumi from Maid-sama, or one of them letting it randomly slip out during a domestic moment and immediately freaking out.
References for the Confession from Maid-sama.
#helluva boss stolitz#Helluva boss#stolas#blitz#stoltiz#stolitz#helluva boss#blitzø#stoliz#Why are there so many different ways to write this pairing#After episode 7 I Need a Love confession#But i also want a really slow burn#Like 3 episodes slow with tons of pining and romantic tension
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This whole time I just assumed the Pilot wasn't 'canon' because his Sister Tilla was retconned (Her design is now used as his Mother apparently)- but I guess not. Are they just gonna pick and choose what they're are/aren't keeping from the pilot? Some shows actually address when voice actors change or come up with a reason in the show why it did - like in Trollhunters. Or was this just a mistake that was kept in the storyboards?
#helluva boss#pilot#theory#What is this show's timeline?#How long has IMP been running#How long have Moxxie and Blitz known eachother?#And What about Millie?
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If this were to actually happen the fandom would lose their Minds!
@hhf23art had asked: ooh are you taking fic requests ? may i pls request blitzo trying to make stolas laugh by doing silly things in order to cheer him up ? stolas deserves to be a happy birb☺️
Yes always!! Also I would have had this up two days ago but Tumblr deleted the whole thing ugh and thEN i posted it by accident before i was done so i panic-deleted the ask by mistake. Here you go!
-
Blitz takes one step into the house and immediately winces as the shout of "Well, you're not a very good father then, are you?" echoes through the manor, followed by the sound of a door slamming shut. He's a bit more resilient to his own daughter's venom than Stolas is- but holy fuck, that's gotta fucking hurt.
He pulls his bag up higher and then jogs down to Octavia's room, avoiding the people wandering through the halls as he goes, and turns the corner to find Stolas sitting on the ground and leaning against her door, his head in his hands.
Blitz hesitates a moment, then walks closer, sliding a hand up Stolas's arm to his shoulder. "Stolas?"
The other demon says nothing, only curls in on himself tighter, full body shuddering on a sob. Blitz sighs. "Stolas."
Stolas curls away from his touch when Blitz tries to drag him into a hug, shaking his head violently in the crook of his arms, and Blitz gives up and throws himself down in the place next to him.
Fuck.
He doesn't even know what to say. Comforting is something he's anyways not great at for more than ten seconds, let alone comforting someone hurt by their child telling them to fuck off, no matter how much experience he has in the matter. The only skills he has in his repertoire are fucking, killing and-
Oh hey, there's a thought.
Blitz gets to his feet and looks around. There's Stolas's plants, obviously, but half of them are as tall as he is and he's also seen him wince one too many times at the sound of his wife breaking his beloved pots to risk it. Instead he grabs a candlestand and blows out the candles on it before pulling them off. He can see Stolas shift to glance at him slightly out of the corner of his eye, but carefully doesn't look at him as he starts juggling the three candles in his hand.
Luckily the corridor has multiple candlestands dotting the walls and they screech and groan as Blitz pulls them off, juggling the other three candles with one hand.
He hears the rustle of cloth and feels the usual tendrils of magic lapping at his feet curiously as Stolas opens back up a bit more, but focuses on not dropping anything as he dumps the stands into a pile before him and starts removing the candles.
He's a talented enough juggler to manage even after years of not practicing, and soon enough he has twelve candles juggling in the air and Stolas looking at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.
Blitz winks at him, smirking, and then uses his foot to add- one, two, three candlestands into the whole mix- until there's fifteen items flying through the air.
Stolas gives a little laugh of shock, looking at them all in awe, and Blitz smiles in satisfaction. He lets it go on for a few more rounds before stopping suddenly- better always to stop juggling on your own terms- and bows deep as all the candles and stands come crashing down noisily around him.
Stolas claps quietly but enthusiastically, a small but genuinely delighted smile on his face, always a perfect audience. "Is this- what you did back at the circus?"
"One of the acts, yeah. Over the years I pretty much went through every one of em- horseback acrobatics, trapeze, balancing acts, you name it. Hey, what's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it crashes into a windshield?"
Stolas frowns, the corner of his lips still pulled up, confused, "What?"
"Their butt."
Stolas ugly snorts, choking on his laughter hard enough to turn it into a wheeze, caught off guard. Blitz grins.
"What has a hundred balls and screws old ladies?"
"What?"
"Bingo."
Stolas giggles, quieter, and Blitz narrows his eyes. "No," He muses, "You like the stupider jokes don't you? Hey, what's another name for pickled bread?"
"Wh-what?"
"A dill-dough."
Stolas wheezes unflatteringly, a cross between an owl noise and a deflating balloon.
"What did the succubus say to the sinner when he tried fisting him without lube?"
Stolas chokes, pressing the back of his hand to his beak, trying in vain to smother the smile breaking out. Flowers are blooming around them, the remaining candles burning brighter, leaves rustling as Stolas unfolds further. "What?"
"Do you have any first-hand experience?"
Stolas guffaws loudly, the sound completely at odds with his usual snobbish mannerisms, and Blitz grins, heart playing out a whole trapeze act in his chest as he leans his weight forward onto Stolas's thighs, their faces almost touching.
"Who fists someone without lubricant?" Stolas tries to ask seriously through his giggles, just like Blitz knew he would.
"Aw don't be so negative," Blitz rocks forward on his heels and grins. "Lubrican."
Stolas screeches, banging his hand against his thigh in mirth, entire hallway blooming with his laughter- ugly and unrefined, interspersed with hysterical hooting. Blitz smiles, and laughs with him as he yanks Stolas to his feet, nudging them back up when they overbalance, and pulls him down the hallway.
There's a barely audible creak from behind them as they reach the bend in the corner and Blitz looks behind him sharply, gun already out.
Thanks, Octavia mouths from her doorway, slight traces of guilt in her eyes, and Blitz smiles and waves her off.
"ψ h̴͕̩̑̔̅́f̵̖̻̼̙̋͜h̷̥̠͛͝w̸̩̌͌̍̈o̵̰͉̻͛ẻ̴̖͆͝͝s̴̨͙̏̈̐̕͜j̵̳̥̤́̾́ͅa̷̜̫̰̒̋͗k̵̡̺̰̮̞̈l̶̨̗͑̉̿̊ͅ ⛧," Stolas says out loud, clearly trying and failing to string sentences together. "Lubrican."
"I'm not going to hear the end of that for a long time, am I?" Blitz says wryly as Stolas grabs his hand and guides him down the corridor.
"Oh, darling," Stolas turns back and smiles at him. Blitz is in trouble. "Never."
#stolitz#blitz#stolas#helluva boss#fanfic#ah yes fanfiction#sanctuary for fans when canon fills you with bullets
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