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deluluaboutsteve · 6 months

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I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 16

Warnings: slight angst, fluff, mentions of drugs and alcohol, a painful flashback, mean!Steve

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler, Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: As you get closer and closer to your birthday, you are taken back to a painful day.

Word count: 6k+

A/N: @mysticmunson & @hellfire--cult thank you for listening to my rambles and helping me with ideas and inspiring me more and more to write this fic 🤍

series masterlist

In the months after Steve had left you, you had never felt as miserable as you do now, which is surprising, considering how happy you were in the past few weeks before you had gone on that stupid date with Ray. Not only did that night trigger every bad memory, every negative feeling that you have pushed away for months, you had also made it worse by calling him.

You shouldn’t have called him, you wouldn’t be dealing with all these messed up feelings now if you had just stayed at Rick’s place and waited for Eddie to come back out of the house instead of running off and calling your ex boyfriend.

You shouldn’t have gone to see him on Sunday when you finished your shift at the record store, you should have just gone home but your stupid heart led you there to make it hurt even more when you saw him with her, how gentle he was with her, how happy he looked with her.

You feel as though you are back to square one.

Seeing them together shouldn’t be this hurtful, you should be used to it by now but your feelings are just so hard to ignore. Seeing the way he treated her reminded you of the way he never treated you – only in the first few weeks of your relationship was he this gentle and sweet with you.

When his gentle touches turned into rough ones and the softness in his eyes disappeared, you knew that something had changed, but you were so in love with him, you didn’t care how badly he treated you when he stopped being the Steve you once knew.

You stare at the pages in your book with a blank expression on your face. You are not reading, you are not taking notes, you are not focusing the way you should be. No, your mind is too busy recalling every painful moment that you have had with him.

Heather puts her notebook down, throwing her pencil on the bed, she lets out a groan as she stretches her arms out. Chrissy glances at her as she tears her eyes away from her book. While you and Heather study for finals, she is catching up on her favorite novel, her finals aren’t until next year as she had to repeat second grade after she had gotten sick and missed too many school days.

Heather looks at you, a frown appears on her face when she notices the expression on your face.

“Y/n?”

You blink, furrowing your brows as you look up at your friend, “yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

No.

You shrug and close your book, “yeah, why?”

Heather isn’t convinced and neither is Chrissy who watches you with worried eyes. She had noticed that something is off with you, after spring break, something had changed and you are now more distant than before and it’s not just that, you are also very quiet. Just like you were after your breakup with Steve.

“Doesn’t seem like it,” Heather says.

You feel bad for lying to them, for not telling them things that you would have told them a few months back, but you still aren’t the only one who keeps secrets.

Without thinking, you push your sleeves up, accidentally revealing the fading bruises around your wrists. Heather notices them right away, her eyes widen and a gasp falls from her lips. Chrissy furrows her brows at her friend before she notices what she is looking at, she places the book down and straightens up to see what had shocked her friend so much.

When you see the confused and shocked look on Chrissy’s face, you realize your mistake and quickly push your sleeves back down, as though it will reverse your mistake.

“What the fuck?”

“W-What is that, what happened?” Chrissy asks, worriedly.

You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing, you shake your head.

“Nothing happened,” you mumble and get up from your bed after pushing the books off of your lap. You leave your room, desperately wanting to escape this situation but of course they follow you, calling out your name bewildered.

“That’s not nothing, y/n!” Heather says angrily as she follows you downstairs.

“I fell,” you mumble, coming up with the weakest lie ever.

Heather snorts in disbelief, “and I’m supposed to believe that?” She asks, almost yelling. You don’t take her anger to heart, you know that she is worried.

Chrissy rolls her eyes, “Heather,” she mumbles, trying to calm her down.

You turn on the lights in the kitchen, blinking rapidly as you feel tears of frustration building up. You try to distract yourself by reaching for the newspaper on the counter, a flyer from some pizza place at the new mall is laying on top of it.

“A-Are you guys hungry?” You ask, without looking up, “I haven’t eaten all day, I’m starving. We could order a pizza, there’s a new place, Surfer Boy–”

“Y/n,” Chrissy says, quietly as she walks towards you with a look of concern in her eyes.

“We could order different kinds,” you say, still hoping to be able to change the subject of the conversation despite knowing that it’s a lost cause.

Heather crosses her arms over her chest, her brows are knitted as she looks you up and down.

“What happened?” She asks again.

Chrissy turns around to send her a warning look, shaking her head.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t have to,” Chrissy says as she places her hand on top of yours, trying to give you reassurance.

You narrow your eyes, trying to hide your tears as you give her a small smile.

“You always tell us everything, y/n,” Heather says and for the first time you hear sadness in her voice, sadness and concern. “Since when do you keep secrets?”

Her question irritates you and it sparks the anger inside of you. You snap your head up and look at her with raised brows, “I don’t know, you tell me.”

She looks a little taken aback at your words, surprised even. Though, her eyes flash with guilt. She doesn’t say anything this time, neither does Chrissy and when you look back at her to see her avoiding your eyes, you can’t even help but scoff.

“What are you guys not telling me?” You finally ask the question that’s been on your mind for months now, “what are you hiding?”

Chrissy mumbles your name with a pleading voice, her cheeks glow red, she looks embarrassed.

“You do know that you’re doing the same shit that Steve did to me, right?”

Heather can’t even look into your eyes anymore, she looks down.

“He did that too, he kept secrets, he didn’t talk to me, he didn’t tell me anything, he kept lying to me a-and then it all got too much and he spilled everything to me the moment he had one too many drinks – is that what it takes for you to be honest with me? D-Drinks? Do you need to get drunk too to tell me that you don’t want to be my friend anymore?”

Both of them raise their heads to look at you, shocked and confused as though they can’t believe that you would think that of them.

“What!?” Heather asks, raising her voice, “you think we don’t want to be your friends anymore? What the hell, y/n? You are the one who pushed us away!”

“Because you are both keeping secrets! You whisper behind my back! You don’t tell me shit anymore! What do you expect me to do? To sit there and wait for you to leave the way everyone else does?” Your voice breaks and once again, your tears spill. You can only huff in annoyance when you feel your wet cheeks, “for fucks sake,” you whisper as you wipe away the tears in anger.

Chrissy looks down, she had never felt this guilty before. She knows it’s because of her. The secrets and the whispers. It’s her fault that you feel like they don’t want you but she is scared, so scared to lose you if you find out the truth but right here is where she realizes that she will lose you either way.

Heather’s eyes soften and she looks at you with a frown.

You step away from Chrissy and turn away from them, you place your hands on the counter and look out the window.

“We are not leaving you, y/n,” Heather says, walking towards you, “we would never leave you, you’re our best friend.”

You try not to show how bitter you are, how angry and hurt you still are.

“Doesn’t feel like it, Heather.”

“But she’s right,” Chrissy says with a shaky voice, “we would never leave you.”

You are so sick of the tears, of the pain, of all of this.

Heather and Chrissy share a look and you watch them with narrowed eyes.

You wipe the fresh tears with your sleeves and turn around, leaning against the counter as you look at the blonde, who stares at you with nothing but fear in her eyes and suddenly, you feel guilty for the outburst you just had.

“I’m sorry,” Heather whispers as she reaches for your hand, “I’m sorry we made you feel that way but you are still our best friend, even when we’re not yours anymore.”

“Yeah, Eddie stole that title,” Chrissy mumbles, rolling her eyes when she says his name. She leans against the counter beside you and looks at you with an apologetic look in her eyes and the guilt. The guilt is not very hard to miss.

You know that she is hiding something, something that Heather knows about, something that she doesn’t want you to know. It hurts, she used to tell you everything, now Heather is the only one she confides in and as hurtful as it is, you have to respect that.

“You are still my best friends too,” you murmur and lower your head to hide the pain, “I’m sorry for getting so mad.”

Heather sighs, she rolls her eyes at her own outburst, “I’m sorry too, you don’t have to tell us what happened but just know that we are here for you.”

“Yeah,” Chrissy whispers as she once again reaches for your hand, this time, you squeeze her hand back.

You know that they want to know what happened or better yet, who happened. You don’t want to talk about Ray or the date and the awful things that happened, least of all what happened afterwards when you decided to call him.

“I went on a date with Ray.” You say after a beat of silence.

Their eyes widen with both shock and confusion.

Chrissy opens and closes her mouth, no words come out.

“Ray Parker?” Heather asks, still confused. She saw you with him, at the bonfire party but she didn’t think anything of it.

You nod, clenching your jaw.

“Yeah.”

You feel a shiver running down your spine when you think about that night.

“Turned out that he never wanted to go on a date with me, he just wanted to fuck. I-I didn’t want to, I didn’t even want to go on a date with him, I don’t know what I was thinking,” you ramble as you quickly want to close the subject again, “H-He was very persistent and he kept trying but I pushed him away, nothing happened, luckily.”

Chrissy holds her hand in front of her mouth and Heather looks at you in disbelief.

They see the fear in your eyes and how shaken up you still are.

“What the fuck,” she mumbles, angrily. “He did that to you?” She asks, pointing to your wrists.

“Yeah but it’s okay, it’s–”

“It’s not okay! I’m gonna cut his dick off!” She says, throwing her hands up, “and his balls too!”

“Count me in,” Chrissy says with an angry frown in her soft features. “I hate men!”

You can’t help but snort as you bury your face in your hands.

“This is not funny, y/n!” Heather says, nudging your shoulder, “why do you always go for the worst guys?”

“I don’t know,” you mumble.

Heather is seething and so is Chrissy, that’s why you didn’t want them to know. It’s bad enough that the others know that Eddie and Steve went after him, that they risked getting in trouble with the cops.

Heather keeps mumbling curse words under her breath, while Chrissy tries to make sure that you are feeling okay.

“Do you know where he lives?” Heather asks, “did you go to the cops?”

You shake your head. You don’t want to know where he lives, you don’t want to go to the cops. His wealthy parents won’t let anything happen to their precious son besides, you hope that he learned his lesson after what Eddie and Steve did to him.

Heather and Chrissy might think that it’s Ray who causes you to feel this way, it’s not. It’s Steve, it’s always Steve who is on your mind. It's him who is making you feel like you are not okay because he is once again, haunting you in your memories, in your dreams, in everything.

He is haunting you.

Heather keeps asking questions and it’s starting to make you feel sick.

You close your eyes when you suddenly feel lightheaded, you pinch the bridge of your nose and take deep breaths.

“Can we please just not talk about this?” You ask, interrupting Heather’s ramble, “I-I don’t want to think about it anymore. Besides, it’s been taken care of,” you mumble the last part.

“Wait what?”

“What do you mean?” Chrissy asks, “what’s been taken care of?”

“Eddie and Steve, t-they went after him.”

Chrissy stares with wide eyes and Heather looks at you, confused.

“I’m sorry, did you just say Eddie and Steve?”

You nod.

“I’ll tell you everything but can we first order some food?”

Chrissy notices the pale look on your face, the shakiness in your hands, the tired look in your eyes. She knows. Her eyes meet Heather’s, she nudges her head, raising her brows.

“Yes, of course,” Heather says, reaching for the flyer you looked at earlier, “let me guess, you want pineapple pizza.”

“No way,” you snort, “I only eat it when I’m high.”

“Which happens like three times a week nowadays,” Chrissy jokes.

“What can I say, my weed man is really good.”

Heather laughs, “a very bad influence,” she points out with a smile on her face, “I’ll go order the pizza,” she says before she walks out of the kitchen.

You clear your throat and turn to Chrissy, who is already watching you. There is still concern in her eyes and you desperately want her to stop worrying.

“Chris,” you mumble as you grip her hand tighter, “don’t worry about me.”

She frowns at your words, how can she not worry about you?

“You thought that we don’t want to be your friends anymore.”

“It’s okay, it was a misunderstanding–”

“I will– we will always want you to be our friend,” she says, “it’s always been the three of us, y/n.”

You smile, sadly.

“A-And, I just want you to know that it’s not about our friendship with you or anything.”

“What do you mean?”

She swallows nervously and she runs her fingers through her blonde hair, looking at anything but you, she blushes and it makes you wonder.

“I-I just, Heather isn’t hiding anything from you. T-There’s something that I can’t tell you yet but I will,” she says, looking at the floor, “when I’m ready, okay?”

She is scared of losing you, scared of pushing you away with whatever she is dealing with.

You nod, “of course.”

You are worried about her, about what she’s keeping from you, about what she is so nervous about. You take both of her hands in yours and step closer to her.

“Hey,” you whisper, “can you look at me?”

She raises her head a little, looking at you through her bangs.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me, you don’t have to be scared,” you say, rubbing your circles on her skin, “I’m here and I’ll always be here, no matter what, okay?”

She nods, a smile tugs at her lips.

“I didn’t mean to get so angry, I’m sorry.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “I understand it.”

“But we’re okay, right?” You ask.

She nods, eyeing your face with a sad look in her eyes, “of course, we’re okay.”

“Good.”

“Good,” she repeats your words with a smile.

“Hey guys, some guy named Argyle was on the phone! Never heard that name before,” Heather says, laughing from the living room, “he sounded cute.”

You and Chrissy look at each other with furrowed brows before you burst into giggles.

The bruises have faded away, your skin looks healed again, you can finally wear skirts and t-shirts after weeks of hiding in sweaters and jeans. The weather is warm, the sun is shining and the flowers adorn the pretty fields of Hawkins, finally. It’s nearing the end of April and you’re getting closer and closer to exams and the final day of school. You can’t wait to get out of here.

You are staring out the window, watching the white clouds move in the blue sky, you drown out the voices in the classroom, the laughter of Tommy and Carol as they gossip, as always.

The past few weeks haven’t been easy on you, you have been trying to avoid him but everywhere you go, you see him, it reminds you of the way things were after he dumped you. Only this time, he tries, he really tries to sneak his way back into your life, you don’t let him – you want to but you don’t let him. Yet, you can’t help but love every little moment you have with him – passing by him in the hallway, seeing the way his eyes light up when you flash him a small smile, you don’t let it confuse you but, you can’t stop the fluttering in your stomach either.

You will forever regret the date and the call. That night changed everything. You were okay, you were okay without him. You were sure that you had moved on. You were sure that you did not want him anymore. You were so damn sure. Yet, here you are, unable to stop thinking about Steve Harrington.

Someone places their books on the table, picking the seat next to you. You don’t turn around to face whoever it is, not caring. But, when you smell his cologne, you tense up and your heart skips, you don’t need to look at him to have all these feelings rushing through you.

You look away from the window, you lean back and finally turn to look at him. He looks good, the way he always does. He is wearing a black sweater, his sleeves are pulled up, you notice a silver bracelet around his wrist, you haven’t seen before. His knuckles are healed, no bruises litter his skin any longer but there’s a scar that hasn’t been there before. You wonder what he told her when he sported the bruises on his knuckles and on his temple.

He doesn’t say anything, he just flashes you a small smile and looks away when the teacher walks in.

Why does he sit here? Why next to you?

You force yourself to look away too. You hate the beating of your heart. You hate the way you feel when you smell his cologne, the stupid smell of Farrah Fawcett spray, you hate the way it feels to be so close to him.

You try to focus on class, you try to write down notes, you try to think about anything but him beside you.

Steve has other plans though when he slides his notebook over to you after scribbling something on the blank page.

You turn to look at him with a questioning gaze but he is not looking at you, he is looking at the blackboard, pretending to listen to Mrs Jones.

You look down at the notebook.

‘Hi’. He wrote with a smile next to it.

You can’t help but snort quietly.

He smiles to himself, narrowing his eyes to look at you.

You take your pen, shaking your head as you write a ‘hey’ before you slide it back to him.

He glances at the teacher before he begins writing. Mrs Jones isn’t paying attention to you, the elderly woman is too busy writing on the blackboard as she taps her heel against the ground.

You bounce your knee, pressing your lips together as you look at anything but him. You dig your nails into your palms as you wait in anticipation. When he slides the notebook back to you, you glance at him for a moment before you look down.

‘How are you?’

You wonder if it is a conversation starter or a genuine question but, when you find him looking at you with a soft eyes, you have your answer.

‘I’m good, you?’

Steve knows it is a lie.

‘I’m okay. Can you believe that we’re graduating soon?’

You smile at him and shake your head.

‘No. Are you still becoming a basketball star?’ You write down.

You watch the way he shakes his head with a blush on his cheeks. He leans down, putting his hand on the table as he writes.

'Not good enough to be a basketball star.’

You raise your brows in question, pressing your lips together.

What happened to his confidence? You wonder.

‘You were always good enough, Steve.’

Steve stares at your words for a long moment, his brows knit together and for a second, he lets the sadness take over. He never felt good enough.

‘Not for this. Are you still becoming a stripper?’

When you read the question, a giggle bursts from your lips before you can stop it. You always used to joke about it, telling him that you would become the best stripper in town.

There is not a single strip club in Hawkins.

You clasp your hand over your mouth and your eyes widen when you realize how loud your giggle was. Everyone is now looking at you.

Steve presses his lips together, trying not to laugh.

“Is there anything you want to share with the class?” Mrs Jones asks, raising her brows at you as she stands there with her hand on her hip.

You shake your head.

Steve snorts a little when he glances at you, you are staring wide eyed at the teacher with a blush on your cheeks. Cute.

You kick his foot under the table and he has to hide his face behind his head when he laughs quietly.

“Pay attention!” Mrs Jones says, pointing at you with her finger.

You nod, “yes ma’am.”

She glares at you before she turns away.

“Asshole,” you whisper to Steve before you reach for your pen again, ignoring the prying eyes of some of the cheerleaders and of course, Tommy and Carol, you don’t have to turn around to know that they are staring.

‘No, I want to be a groupie now.’

Steve shakes his head, of course, you would say that.

He changes the topic, though it’s a mistake, a very big mistake.

Steve doesn’t know that you are haunted by memories of him.

Your birthday is soon, any plans?’

You are already struggling. Why did he have to bring this up? Why did he have to remind you of your last birthday? Why?

You stare at the words on the paper for what feels like forever. You hate your birthday, especially the last birthday.

You remember the way you felt that day, you remember the way you waited for him, thinking that he would surprise you. You didn’t want a party, you didn’t even want a cake but Heather and Chrissy had still made one for you, they spent the afternoon with you, they gave you presents, ate cake with you and offered to take you out to dinner but you said no, because you knew that he would take you out for dinner and surprise you with the locket you have told him so many times about. The locket you had seen when you passed by the little jewelry store, he was with you, he saw the way your eyes lit up when you laid eyes on it for the first time, he knew you wanted it and you thought, you really thought that he would get you the necklace. You could have bought it yourself with the credit card your dad gave you before he left but you wanted it to be something special.

Steve did not take you out for dinner that night, in fact, he didn’t spend the night with you, at all.

You want to cry just thinking about it.

You waited and waited, you sat by your window and looked out, waiting for him to finally arrive. You put on the pretty sundress that you had bought when you went shopping with Chrissy. You did your makeup and your hair the way he always liked it.

With your hands in your lap and excitement still lingering on your face, you waited.

Your eyes lit up when you saw his car pulling up to your driveway, you jumped up and rushed over to the mirror, taking one last look at yourself before you rushed down the stairs with a smile on your face.

You opened the door just as he was about to unlock it with the keys you gave him.

“Hi!” You said, unable to fight the smile off your face.

Steve was holding a small box in his hands, you thought you knew what was in there.

“Hey babe,” he said but his voice did not match your excitement.

He walked in and closed the door, handing you the box. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead, “happy birthday,” he said with a smile that could only be described as forced.

Your own smile began to fade a little when you noticed the disinterested look on his face, you looked down at the little box. Did he give you what you wished for? You had wondered.

“What took you so long?” You asked as you looked at the clock, it was 7pm. “I’ve been waiting for you, Stevie.”

“I was getting ready for the party.”

You furrowed your brows and looked at him in confusion as you could already feel your heart dropping.

“What party?” You mumbled, “I-I told you that I don’t want–”

“No, I know.” He said, “I know you didn’t want to throw a party, I mean Tina’s party.”

You couldn’t believe him. He knew, he knew you did not want that. He knew you wanted to spend the night alone, with him.

“I-I thought we could do something else, it’s my birthday, Steve.”

He sighed, rolling his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah, happy birthday,” he said with fake enthusiasm in his voice, “now let’s go celebrate it.”

Your shoulders slumped, you opened your mouth to speak but quickly closed it again. You stared at him in disbelief as your eyes began to well up with tears.

“But, I thought we could go out for dinner.”

He scrunched his face up, snorting, “what are we forty?” He said, “come on, get your stuff, we’re leaving.”

“No,” you said, shaking your head as you looked at him with sad eyes and a pout that always pulled at your lips, naturally.

He huffed.

“Man, don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” You said with a small voice, frowning.

“Like that,” he mumbled, pointing at your frown, “that’s fucked up.”

You wanted to cry, you wanted to run upstairs and crawl under the sheets, you wanted to escape this.

“W-Well, you can go to that stupid party. I’m not going.” You pushed the box back in his hands and brushed past him, walking up the stairs as you began to remove the clips in your hair.

“Babe!” He groaned.

“You can go, Steve. I’m not feeling well anyways,” you lied and continued your way up the stairs, still hoping that he would follow you, that he would change his mind and apologize, that he would take you in his arms and kiss you, that he would take you out to dinner, that he would kiss you under the stars and put the necklace around your neck but he never did.

Just as you walked into your room, you heard the front door shutting and his car starting just moments later.

Despite how he had acted before, you didn’t expect him to leave, but he did. He left and you spent the evening alone with a bottle of Whiskey your dad left behind, you drank and you cried, missing the boy who used to protect you, who used to love you. You stayed in your dress and listened to David Bowie and then, four hours later, he came back but you wish he never did.

The memory of that night still hurts, it all hurts.

‘No, you know I don’t celebrate my birthday.’ You write down in bitterness.

Steve looks guilty, he feels awful for what he did on your last birthday. If he could turn back time and change it, he would.

You can’t help but look at him, and you see it, you see the guilt and the sadness and the anger he feels for himself but it does nothing to ease your pain. It still hurts so much.

‘Can I come over, the night before?’

It’s a tradition you have had since you were children. He would always sneak into your room and give you his presents at midnight. He didn’t do it last year. Why now? You are no longer friends, you are no longer a couple, you are not even acquaintances at this point.

Are you a fool for saying ‘yes’? Maybe. Do you care? No. Apparently, he still has you wrapped around his finger.

He smiles at you and closes the notebook when the bell rings. You wonder if he will throw the page away or if he will keep it. You would. You hate how giddy he still makes you feel, you hate the butterflies that still flutter in your stomach, why won’t they die?

You leave the classroom together but neither of you say anything, you just glance at each other before you go separate ways, he flashes you one last smile – his is certainly much brighter than yours, yours is still etched with pain.

You make your way towards your locker to retrieve your backpack and your jacket. Out of the corner of your eye, you see someone moving towards you and when you turn your head, you see that it’s Chrissy.

A smile tugs at your lips.

She looks determined, her eyes are set on you, she isn’t smiling and as she gets closer, you notice how nervous she looks.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” you smile, “what’s up?” You ask, curiously when she still refuses to smile.

Her hands are pressed together and she looks at you with uncertainty in her eyes. She fidgets with her shaky hands.

“I-I’m ready to talk.”

You did not expect to hear that from her. It’s been weeks since she admitted to keeping something from you and not once did you pressure her to talk, you did try to reassure her that nothing could drive you away from her but she still needed time.

“You are?” You ask, looking around the crowded hallways.

She nods, licking her lips as she stares at you.

“Yes.”

“Okay, let’s get out of here.” You reach for your backpack and pull the strap over your shoulder before you reach for her hand, “come on.”

You can feel how nervous she is, how clammy her hand is, how shaky it is as she grips yours tightly. It makes you a little anxious. What could possibly make her this nervous?

You leave the school and walk towards your car.

“Do you wanna go to my place?” You ask.

She shakes her head, looking down as she lets go of your hand to walk to the passenger side.

“Okay, uh, the lookout?” You ask.

“Y-Yeah.”

You nod and unlock your car, you throw your backpack in the backseat and reach for the sunglasses in your glove compartment. You glance at her, noticing how nervous she still is as she bounces her knee.

“Chris, don’t be so nervous,” you say, trying to reassure her, “if you wanna talk about your position on the cheer squad, you can absolutely have my spot as the captain,” you joke but she doesn’t laugh, she only cracks a small smile.

You figure that nothing you will say will make her any less nervous, the only thing that will help is talk about whatever is laying heavy on her heart. So, you start the car and you turn on some music, hoping that it will calm her down. You drive to the lookout, you always used to go together. Back when you had only gotten your driver license, you, Chrissy and Heather would always come up here and have a little picnic, you would take pictures of each other with your dad’s polaroid camera.

You miss those days. The simpler days.

You both get out and sit on the hood of your car, looking down at the small town you live in. From up here, it looks so much smaller than it actually is.

“I– I don’t know how to tell you,” she starts after a long few minutes of silence.

“What are you afraid of?” You ask as your take your hand in yours.

She blinks. The wind blows through her hair and she looks down to avoid your eyes.

“That you won’t be my friend anymore.”

“Chrissy,” you whisper, holding her hand tighter, “we’ve been friends since we were little kids, what makes you think that I’d stop being your friend?”

She shrugs.

“You and I, we're best friends for the rest of our lives.”

She rolls her eyes, “except you got Eddie now.”

“Eddie isn’t a girl though, I still need my girl best friends – hey, are you jealous of Eddie, is that it?” You chuckle.

Her eyes widen and she tenses up, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Her cheeks take the color of your red skirt and your smile falls as you stare at her reaction in surprise.

“I-I, no! I’m not–” She stutters and her voice gets high pitched.

“Wait, y-you don’t like Eddie do you?” You frown.

She almost looks taken aback by your question and she draws back, scrunching her face up as she shakes her head, “what!? No!”

Your shoulders slump in relief.

Her reaction is almost comical, if the circumstances were different, you would probably laugh at the twisted mouth and the disapproving look in her eyes.

“I don’t like him,” she says, shaking her head, “I don’t like people like him.”

“Oh,” you frown. Is that it? Is that what she is keeping from you? She doesn’t like Eddie? She doesn’t like your best friend? She doesn’t like his reputation and your reputation?

“N-No!” She huffs, rolling her eyes at her choice of words, “I don’t mean it like that, I don’t mean him in general, I-I mean – fuck.” Her shoulders slump and she closes her eyes when she feels the tears welling up. “I don’t like men – I don’t, I’m not into them! I like girls,” she says, quietly.

Oh.

Your lips part in surprise and your eyes widen but you finally relax and the tension in your body leaves. You were so worried about all the possibilities of what she could be hiding from you, out of all of them, you did not expect this.

She is shaking even more now and you hold her hand tighter in response.

“Chrissy,” you whisper and scoot closer to her.

When she hears your soft voice and feels your even softer touch, she manages to open her eyes again and looks at you through her tears.

“You scared me to death!” You mumble before you pull her into a hug, squeezing her tightly. “I thought you were hiding something bad!”

You hear her sniffle first and then her sigh of relief as she melts into your touch and hugs you back.

“I-I, you’re not, you don’t think it’s weird?”

You scrunch your face up and frown, “why would I think that it’s weird?” You mumble, still hugging her.

“‘Cause some people think it’s weird.”

“Fuck them,” you whisper, rubbing her back and squeezing her tightly before you pull away from her. You look at her soft features and smile, “I’m sorry you were so scared to tell me but I hope you know that I would never judge you, you’re my best friend and I’m proud of you.”

Her eyes light up and she smiles, “you are?”

“Yeah,” you whisper, smiling.

She presses her hand to her chest as she sighs in relief again, closing her eyes.

“So, who’s the lucky girl?”

And just like that, her smile fades away again and she looks at you with the same sad eyes you saw one too many times already. This time, it doesn’t take you long to put two and two together, the signs were always there but as always, you were too blind to see them, just like you had been blind to so many other things in your life.

She was always protective of you, more so than Heather was. She was always a little giddy around you, nervous and shy. She was always more affectionate with you than anyone else.

And then you remember Carol’s words, what she said – or tried to say about Chrissy before Heather intervened.

God, you feel like a fool.

Life passes by you and you don’t even notice. Where is your mind at all the time?

Chrissy’s eyes are filled with sadness and the same fear as before, she doesn’t need to say it out loud for you to know. The look on her face confirms it all.

“Oh Chrissy.”

“I-It’s okay, y/n,” she whispers, “please don’t pity me, it’s just, it will pass.”

You tilt your head, you can’t help but look at her with the same look that lingers in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper and look down at her hand.

“No, I’ll be fine, really,” she says, “just promise me that nothing will change?”

Your chest aches and it hurts to know that she is hurting because of you.

“Because that’s all that matters to me, that you are still my friend.”

“I am,” you reassure her again, “I promise.”

She nods at you, not letting her tears spill. She smiles at you again before she scoots closer to you.

“Thank you.”

You shake your head and wrap your arm around her shoulder as she leans her head on your shoulder.

“No, thank you for trusting me,” you whisper, “and for everything.”

She smiles up at you when you fix the green bow in her hair and run your fingers through her ponytail.

As the silence takes over and you both listen to birds chirping and the wind that rustles the leaves on the trees, you hold onto each other a little more tightly when she finally relaxes, knowing that she will always have you, no matter what.

And you feel the tension leaving when you realize that you had nothing to fear when it came to her and Heather.

“Hey, you know what?”

“Hmm?”

“I saw Heather making out with Billy in his car.”

“No way!” You gasp, laughing.

“Yeah! And then she acted like nothing happened!”

You giggle, cupping your hand over your mouth.

“Apparently they were high. She bought weed from that pizza guy.”

“What was his name again?” You ask, laughing.

“Uh, something weird–” she mumbles with a concentrated look on her face.

“Ar– Argyle!” You exclaim.

“Yes, Argyle!”

tagging friends & mutuals

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @taintedcigs @hellfire--cult @screammunson @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @trashmouth-richie @xxhellfiregirlxx @somethingvicked @chrissymjstan

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deluluaboutsteve · 7 months

Text

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 14

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of weed and alcohol, mentions of abuse, but this chapter is mostly fluff

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler , slight Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: You spent the morning with your friends and Steve.

Word count: 6k+

series masterlist

The sunlight peaks through the curtains in your bedroom, pulling you out of your deep slumber. You squint your eyes when you open them, even the little brightness is too much for you. You pull the blanket higher and you close your eyes again when you feel the pounding in your head. Everything from the previous night comes rushing back to you when you hear the soft snores next to you and remember that Robin slept over.

The date, Ray and his awful actions and words, Reefer Rick’s party, Eddie, and you running away from him, the gas station, the phone call.

Oh god. Steve.

You internally groan at your actions. Why him out of all people?

But you remember how caring he was, how worried he looked when he saw you.

You open your eyes and push the blanket off of you to look down at yourself, at the bruises Ray had left on you, the ones on your wrists. It makes you feel sick. How could you have said yes to a date with him? How could you not see the obvious signs that he was a bad person? How could you let his words get to you?

You are not even sure what was worse, his words or his actions?

His actions might have hurt you and left a wound of fear inside of you but his words, god his words, were awful. He voiced all your insecurities, making you feel more unlovable than you have felt already. He made you feel worthless, like a piece of meat, for anyone to take.

‘You’re a good fuck and that’s all you’ll ever be, that’s why Harrington dumped you, you’re not fucking interesting enough to keep around’

You take a deep breath, forcing the tears away that have welled up in your eyes. You sit up, only briefly glancing at the bruises on your thighs. You need to put some different clothes on, so you don’t have to see these.

You tiptoe into the bathroom, not wanting to wake up Robin. You turn on the light and close the door, with a sigh, you turn to look at yourself in the mirror and your stomach drops when you notice the hickeys on your neck. Placing your hand over them, you clench your jaw in anger.

You wish you would have done more than just slap him. You wish his words didn’t get to you the way they did. You wish you didn’t get so drunk last night. You wish you didn’t show them how hurt you were.

You grip the counter tightly, letting your head hang low as you try to calm your breathing.

You remember how vulnerable you made yourself look in front of Steve, in front of your ex boyfriend. You remember the look on Eddie’s face when he found you at Rick’s boathouse.

How will you face them again? How will you look into their eyes after last night? You feel ashamed and weak, you thought that you wouldn’t feel that way anymore. You thought that you were okay now, that you moved on from the bad thoughts in your head, that they had no power over you anymore but they still do, otherwise his words wouldn’t have hurt so much.

Were you lying to yourself all this time? Have you not moved on, after all?

A knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” Robin asks.

“Yeah! I’ll be right out.”

“Okay.”

You quickly brush your teeth and wash your face with cold water, hoping that it will get rid of some of the swelling in your eyes. You use some concealer to cover up the circles under your eyes and the hickeys on your neck, trying to make yourself look a little better by adding some make up. You brush your hair and take one last look in the mirror before you leave the bathroom.

You smile a little when you see the confused look on Robin’s face when she tries to make your bed the way you always do it. Trying to place the pillows on your bed, correctly.

“Hey.”

She turns to face you, smiling at you, “good morning!” She says, holding up one of your pillows, “you have way too many pillows!”

You chuckle, “I love them,” you shrug as you walk towards your closet, you open the door and pick out some clothes – pants and a big sweater. You can feel her eyes on you, you know what she is thinking.

“How uh, how did you sleep?” She asks and turns away from you when you begin to change into different clothes.

“Good,” you mumble, “surprisingly.”

“That’s good,” Robin says, scratching the back of her head as she doesn’t know what else to say. She glances at you, noticing that you are putting on jeans.

“Why are you wearing jeans at home?” She mumbles.

“Uh, I thought that we could go out for breakfast!” You say with a fake enthusiasm in your voice.

Robin knows exactly what you are doing, you are pretending to be okay, when you are clearly not. She doesn’t comment on it though, not right now.

“I need coffee a-and maybe some pancakes or something,” you mumble, putting on your sweatshirt, “I’m starving.”

Robin nods, “uh yeah, breakfast sounds good.”

She looks out the window when she hears a car pulling up to your driveway.

“Hey, your mom is home.”

“Oh yeah, she’s working the night shifts this week,” you mumble as you turn around to face her. She is already looking at you, still clutching the pillow to her chest as she eyes you with the same worried look in her eyes you saw last night. You are grateful to have her. She took care of you the way Chrissy and Heather did after Steve left you. She wiped your tears, picked out fresh clothes for you when you went to the bathroom to take a shower, she combed your hair and hugged you tightly when you broke down again and cried yourself to sleep.

You look down, pressing your hands together, you fidget with your fingers as you take slow breaths.

“Thank you, Robin,” you whisper, “for everything.”

Her gaze softens, she throws the pillow on your bed and walks towards you.

“Hey,” she whispers, trying to look into your eyes, “there’s no need to thank me, okay?”

You lift your head back up, meeting her eyes.

“That’s what friends are for, we’re there for each other, no matter what, okay?”

Her eyes are genuine, a sad smile is tugging at her lips.

You nod at her words, smiling, “yeah.”

She takes your hand, squeezing it tightly. Her eyes shift away for a moment and she sighs, “I’m never letting you go on a date again,” she mumbles, “the only men who are allowed to be in your presence are Eddie and his uncle,” she says, making you chuckle.

“And maybe douchebag Steve who didn’t seem like a douchebag last night,” she says, rolling her eyes.

At the mention of Eddie and Steve, you remember that they are both still here, probably sleeping in the living room. The sight of both of them in your house will definitely confuse your mom.

“Right, Steve,” you mumble as you walk towards your bedroom door. When you open it, you don’t expect Eddie and Steve to fall into your room.

Startled, you jump back and look down at them with a confused look on your face. They both look just as confused as they take in their surroundings with tired eyes. Eddie rubs the back of his head, groaning. Steve looks at Eddie with a frown on his face before his eyes meet yours and he seems to remember last night's events.

Robin is chuckling behind you as she eyes the both of them.

Eddie’s hair is a mess, he looks tired and in pain. Steve’s hair looks good, of course. Nothing can ruin his hair, not even a bad sleep.

Your mom halts in her tracks as she’s just coming up the stairs, she raises her brows as she eyes the four of you. She looks at Eddie, who leans back, giving her a lazy smile and a wave.

“Hi!” Robin says, cheerfully, waving at your mom.

“Good morning, kids,” your mom says, chuckling in amusement, “I didn’t know you had a sleepover, y/n.”

“I uh– yeah, it was um spontaneous,” you chuckle nervously, hoping that she doesn’t notice the puffiness in your eyes. You’re glad you didn’t tell her about the date, you don’t want her to know what happened, she was worried about you enough after Steve left you, you don’t want to cause her any more distress.

Eddie is still rubbing the back of his head and Steve is avoiding to look at your mom, one look at him is enough for you to see the flushed cheeks and the shame in his eyes. Your mom is looking at him and it makes him uncomfortable.

Steve hasn’t seen her in a long time, he doesn’t know what she thinks of him after what he did to you.

“And you let your friends sleep on the floor instead of the guest room?” She chuckles.

“Uh–”

“Oh they totally forgot about us when they wanted to gossip about Mrs. Click’s crush on Mr. Higgins,” Eddie jokes.

Steve narrows his eyes at Eddie, “what the hell,” he mumbles under his breath.

Robin fake gasps, “how do you know?”

Eddie turns around, looking up at Robin, he winks at her, “my eyes and ears are everywhere, Buckley.”

“Right,” she mumbles, “can we go get some breakfast now? I’m starving.”

Your mom eyes you slowly and you instantly feel uncomfortable, you know that she knows that something is wrong.

“Y/n.”

You meet her eyes, giving her a small smile, “yes?” You ask, hoping that she won’t ask any questions, especially not right now.

Your friends fall silent as well, looking between the two of you.

“We should have lunch together later.”

You sigh in relief, nodding at her, “yeah, I’d like that.”

She smiles at you and then she looks down at Steve, who finally finds the courage to look at her.

“It was nice seeing you again, Steve.”

Steve’s eyes widen, he feels a little shocked, he knows how protective your mom is of you, he figured he wasn’t welcome here any longer after what he did but he still is, he will always have a place in your home.

But, this just makes him feel even more guilty. He always got along with your mom and your dad when he was still here.

The smile on her face is genuine and it makes him feel like the biggest asshole in the world, not only did he hurt you, he also must’ve disappointed her. Your mom was like a second mom to him, she took care of him when his parents weren’t around. He didn’t just lose you by pushing you away, he also lost his second family.

He smiles at her, “you too,” he says, nervously.

When your mom disappears into her bedroom, both Eddie and Steve jump up and turn to face you, the same worried looks from the previous night take over their faces, they scan your face, your whole body, you hate it.

Before either of them can open their mouths to ask any questions, Robin pushes you out of your bedroom, sensing your discomfort.

“Let’s go eat pancakes!” She says, cheerfully.

Eddie and Steve glance at each other with frowns on their faces. You and Robin are already rushing down the stairs.

“Are you coming?” Robin calls for them.

“Yeah,” Eddie mumbles, looking away from Steve, he reaches for his jacket on the floor and follows you two downstairs.

“Wait, where are we going?”

“The diner, where else?” Robin says as she glances up at Eddie.

Steve hesitates, he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes.

“Come on, dude.”

Steve hesitates, he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes.

“Come on, dude.”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” he mumbles, taking a peek into your room before he leaves too.

Steve notices the way you are avoiding his eyes, the way you so desperately try to pretend to be okay. You have always done this, since you were little kids. You have always pretended to be okay when you clearly weren’t. Whether it was your parents fighting that upset you, or something happening in school, you never showed how sad or scared you were, never. He only found out about it the night before your birthday, that you were hiding your feelings, your true feelings.

You also did this after he left you, back then, he was hurt, even though he shouldn’t have been, after all it was his decision to dump you. For some reason, he was blinded and distracted by so many things that he didn’t realize that you didn’t move on so quickly when you stopped acknowledging him, you simply pretended to be okay, so you wouldn’t seem so vulnerable and heartbroken.

Twelve year old Steve seemed to have known you better than the Steve, last year.

He feels out of place, even with you here across from him. You sit next to Eddie, sipping on black coffee. You used to hate black coffee. He keeps looking back and forth between you and Eddie, trying to figure something out. Despite the things that Eddie told him last night, he can’t help but doubt his words and feelings.

Eddie keeps glancing at you, eying you to make sure that you feel okay.

But he doesn’t push you to talk, he doesn’t ask any questions, neither does Robin. They show you that they are there for you and that they are here to listen, whenever you are ready to talk.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you mumble as you place your mug on the table, “can you order for me?” You ask no one in particular before you leave, abruptly.

Eddie cranes his neck to watch you and Steve turns around as well, watching you walk past the counter and disappearing in the small hallway.

“So,” Robin says, loudly as she slams the menu back on the table, startling the two of them, “what’s your order, dingus?”

Steve furrows his brows, he turns to face the girl next to him, she is looking back at him. Confused, he glances at Eddie who is smirking at him, “don’t look at me, she’s talking to you.”

“Dingus!?”

“Yeah, you’re a dingus,” Robin mumbles, “I could call you something else, I got a list of suggestions, I could go with–”

“Yeah okay, I got it,” Steve says, rolling his eyes.

Eddie chuckles, “I think he likes pancakes with raisins.”

Steve scrunches his face up in disgust, “why would you think that?” He asks, dramatically.

“Cause you’re weird. There’s chocolate chip pancakes on the menu,” Eddie explains, pointing to the menu in his hand, grinning at Steve who looks annoyed already, “but you’d be the type to go for the raisins.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Steve murmurs, shaking his head.

“You could also place both options in front of you and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.”

Robin chuckles.

Steve looks confused.

And Eddie looks amused by his confusion.

Steve has a feeling that this is no longer about pancakes.

When the waitress comes over to take their order, Robin is the first to speak up. Ordering herself her favorite waffles.

“Alright and you gentlemen?” The waitress asks, looking between Steve and Eddie.

“I’ll have the chocolate chip pancakes,” Steve says, glaring at Eddie.

Eddie snorts, he crosses his arms over his chest and tears his eyes away from Steve.

The waitress writes down the order, with a sigh, she turns to Eddie.

“I’ll also take the chocolate chip pancakes,” he says, looking back at Steve, “make it two, please.” He says, ordering for you.

“Y/n likes blueberry pancakes,” Steve mumbles, “she never ordered chocolate chip ones.”

“Yes, she does. She orders them all the time.”

Robin’s eyes flicker back and forth, looking amused as she watches them.

The waitress rolls her eyes, she places her hand on her hip and sighs again.

“She always ordered blueberry pancakes,” Steve mumbles, his mouth twisting.

“Well now she doesn’t,” Eddie shrugs, “she loves chocolate.”

Robin almost feels embarrassed but this is too funny, even with the annoyed waitress watching them and the other guests turning their heads to look at the two.

Steve sighs, “yeah but she loves blueberries.”

“Dude, I know her better,” Eddie mumbles.

“What!? I knew her all my life,” Steve exclaims.

“Yeah and then you dumped her for the r–”

Robin coughs loudly, she waves her hand, shushing both of them, “how about chocolate chip pancakes and blueberries on the side?” She asks, holding her hands up.

The older woman gives her a look that says ‘thank you’, she huffs as she writes down the last order before she walks off.

“Jesus, what was that? Got along a little too well last night or something?” She mumbles, narrowing her eyes at them both.

They both ignore her question.

Steve huffs, looking down.

Eddie looks unbothered, he looks out the window and begins to whistle, like nothing happened.

When you come back, you instantly notice the look on Steve’s face, he looks annoyed. Robin looks amused and Eddie, he looks content. You sit down next to him again. All three of them turn to look at you – eyes filled with worry. God, you are already sick of the concerned looks. You appreciate them caring so much but it makes you feel weak when they look at you that way. None of them mentioned anything from the previous night yet and you know they won’t, at least not now, they don’t want to trigger you.

With a sigh, you lean back and reach for your mug again.

“I’m okay, guys,” you say, being the first to bring it up, “stop looking at me like that, please. Last night was horrible but it could have been worse, I got away, nothing happened. I got drunk and tried some of Rick’s new weed which was probably more than just weed but whatever.”

Nothing happened? Steve thinks to himself as he feels himself getting angry again. The same rage he felt last night, comes back, just worse this time when he looks at your puffy eyes.

Eddie’s eyes flash with irritation but he doesn’t say anything, he just watches you. Whatever you say, whatever you will ask of them won’t stop him or Steve to go after Ray. Their eyes meet and they hold eye contact for a moment. You don’t notice it, too busy trying to convince them that you are okay. Robin narrows her eyes at them, watching them.

“I appreciate you guys,” you pause, glancing at Steve’s, who’s eyes soften when they meet yours, “all of you.”

You break eye contact with him quickly, looking down at your hands.

“But really, I don’t need you guys to worry about me. I’m okay, really.”

You are not and they all know it.

Eddie feels the urge to pull you into his arms, to comfort you the way he always does but instead, he puts his hand over yours, squeezing it tightly. You turn your head to look at him, giving him a small smile.

Steve watches your interaction closely, he watches the way you look at him, he watches the way you smile at him, the way you don’t push his hand away. It feels odd to watch you be so comfortable with another guy. He may never get used to this sight.

“I know you don’t believe me but can we please just pretend that everything is fine?” You ask them, “like we’re all just friends going out for breakfast together?”

Everyone freezes a little, glancing at each other with weird looks in their eyes. It’s almost comical, watching them look so horrified at your request.

If someone had told you that you would be sitting here with your ex boyfriend and your new friends – ones that Steve would have never even talked to a year back, you would have looked at them in confusion.

This is certainly an odd circle. Sure, you and Steve aren’t exactly on the top of the popular people anymore, Steve got dethroned by Billy Hargrove and you, you are still the head cheerleader, they still let you have that stupid title that you couldn’t care less about but you see the looks, the glares of the girls from the cheer squad, the giggles and whispers behind your back. To them, you are one of the ‘freaks’ now. You and Steve aren’t the ‘it’ couple anymore, you are just two strangers now, running in two different circles and still, you are here sitting across from each other with your friends beside you.

You can’t even help but laugh.

This is so odd.

Steve furrows his brows, Eddie too as he smiles, “what’s so funny?”

You shake your head, “nothing.”

Robin chuckles at the amused look on your face.

“This is just weird,” you giggle, “King Steve at a table with the ‘freaks’.”

Eddie snorts at your words and Robin chuckles, nodding.

Steve though, he stares at you. He doesn’t think that Eddie is a freak, not anymore. He never thought that Robin was a freak, if he is being honest with himself, he never paid much attention to her, not until he saw her with you. Steve certainly never saw you as a freak. He may have been the popular one first, but he always thought that you were way above him. Now you consider yourself to be one of the freaks and it makes him feel very out of place.

“I’m not King Steve anymore, y/n.”

You raise your brows and tilt your head, scanning the look on his face. He is serious about this, though he looks flustered when he feels the other two pairs of eyes on him. He looks down, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks.

“I-I know I was a dick–”

“Was,” Eddie snorts, earning a kick to the shin from Robin, who glares at them, mouthing ‘shut up’.

He rolls his eyes at her and turns back to Steve.

“I just wanna say I’m sorry for the way I treated you guys,” he says, finally looking up to face Robin and Eddie, “and you.” His eyes meet yours and you swallow the lump in your throat, unable to look at him any longer, you look down.

Eddie and Robin look surprised.

“Are you okay, Steve?” Eddie smirks, “you didn’t fall on your head or something did ya?”

Steve rolls his eyes, he huffs, “no, I don’t think so,” he jokes, smiling a little.

You look at him through your lashes, you watch the smile on his face growing bigger when Eddie continues to joke around. You watch the way his eyes flash with amusement, the way they crinkle when finally, a laugh falls from his lips and you see a kind look in his eyes. You see a glimpse of the guy you once used to have a crush on, the guy he was before you fell in love with him, the guy who used to make you smile, the guy who used to surprise you, the guy who used to treat you like his princess and right here is where you realize that maybe, things would have been better if you never became more than what you had been before you started dating.

Maybe things wouldn’t had turned out this way. Maybe you wouldn’t have to deal with a broken heart. Maybe you wouldn’t sit here missing the past. Maybe you would still have each other.

Robin watches you when you watch him. She is not surprised to see that look in your eyes but it makes her sad.

You finally tear your eyes away from him when the food arrives and you get a plate of chocolate chip pancakes with blueberries on the side. A confused smile appears on your face and you look around.

“Who ordered for me?”

“I did,” Robin says, “these two wouldn’t stop fighting about your order, he said you like blueberry pancakes,” she points to Steve, “and this one says you like chocolate chip pancakes,” she nudges her chin towards Eddie.

“Oh,” you mumble, looking down at the food in front of you, you eye the blueberries.

“You don’t like blueberry pancakes anymore?” Steve asks.

“Uh I do, I just don’t eat them anymore,” you shrug, looking at him for a second and that second is enough for you to see the sad look in his eyes. He knows why you don’t eat them anymore, they remind you of him and of all the breakfast dates you used to have here.

“Hey, we could’ve ordered you a meatloaf instead,” Eddie jokes, trying to kill the tension.

“Chocolate chip pancakes are just fine, Eddie,” you chuckle and reach for the fork, “but meatloaf is good but only the one Steve’s mom makes though.”

Eddie watches the way Steve’s eyes are still filled with sadness, even more so now at your words. He gets lost in his thoughts as he watches you.

Steve remembers all the times you stayed over for dinner, even when you were just friends. You loved helping his mom out in the kitchen and you loved the food she always cooked.

“It was like my favorite food when I was a kid, she’s a great cook.”

You are reminiscing, and you look content while doing it, like there’s no ounce of sadness inside of you when you think of certain things from the past.

Are you not sad thinking about the past? Steve wonders.

“My mom always loved the bake,” Eddie says, smiling at the memory of her, “you would have loved her,” he says, nudging your shoulder.

“I know I would,” you smile at him and lean your head on his shoulder, “I love you, Eds. Of course I’d love her.”

Steve has to restrain himself to keep his jaw from dropping, his heart falls as he stares at the two of you. You take a bite of your food as you glance up at Eddie who is smiling down at you.

What? You what?

He feels that hollowness in his chest, the one he always felt after he left you. He feels that sickening feeling of jealousy and it makes him feel so horrible. He tries not to let it show, he tries to pretend to be okay, he tries to pretend that he is not bothered by the two of you but it’s too late, Robin had already noticed it.

He eats his food even when he isn’t hungry anymore, even when he feels like he has to throw up after what he just heard but his plate stays halfway full, just like yours.

“Are you not hungry anymore?” Eddie asks when he notices the amount of the food on your plate that you have pushed away from you.

You shake your head, not meeting his eyes.

“Are you sure?” Eddie asks, worriedly.

Robin doesn’t look at you, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

Steve watches you closely, trying to figure both you and Eddie out.

Why does he seem so worried over this?

A feeling of dread rushes through Steve. He feels like he no longer knows you, he doesn’t know what you’re going through, what feelings you are struggling with, what is going on in your mind besides the things you revealed to him the night before.

Eddie doesn’t push you, Robin doesn’t push you and he certainly won’t do it either.

When you all leave the diner, you and Eddie step away for a moment, walking over to his van while Steve awkwardly stands besides Robin, unable to look away from you. He wonders what you and Eddie are talking about.

He watches the metalhead closely, watching the way he takes both of your hands in his, you don’t even flinch away from his touch, you don’t push his hands off, you simply let him hold your hands as he talks to you.

This could have been him.

“Jealous?” Robin asks, startling him.

He scoffs, shaking his head, “why would I be jealous?”

Robin shrugs, looking up at the sky, “right, there’s no reason for you to be jealous, I mean, you have a girlfriend.”

Steve rolls his eyes, he only looks away for one second, one fucking second and when he looks back, Eddie Munson is suddenly kissing your hands and rubbing your wrists after pushing your sleeves up.

“He told me they’re friends!” He exclaims, unable to keep it in any longer.

A chuckle falls from Robin’s lips, her blue eyes couldn’t flash with any more amusement when she stares at the red cheeks on him.

“They are.”

Steve scoffs again. Anyone, watching the two of you would think that you are a couple.

You pull your hands back before you wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly. He should have been used to this by now, you and Eddie are always touchy, always. But he still feels annoyed every time he sees you two like this.

“I don’t think she’d go on a date with someone if they were dating,” Robin says, stepping away from Steve, she grins at him, “I mean, she isn’t you.”

Steve clenches his jaw, glaring at her.

Robin waves at him mockingly, “bye dingus.”

“Bye,” he mumbles.

He is surprised to see you walking away from Eddie, giving him one last wave before you walk back to him. Eddie nods at Steve before he gets in his van. Robin hugs you, whispering something in your ear before she parts ways with you, as well.

You look around the parking lot, tugging at your sleeves – you have been doing it all morning.

“C-Can you drive me home?” You ask when you stop in front of him, “I mean my house is on the way, I thought–”

“Of course, I’ll drive you home, y/n.” He says, feeling a little shocked that you want him to drive you home.

You nod, “okay, thanks.”

Steve knows that you probably want to talk to him about what happened last night, to explain your breakdown and come up with some excuse again, but he is surprised when you don’t speak up. You stay silent on the way to his car, when you get into his car, during the drive to your house. You just look out the window, not speaking up and Steve almost feels bad for enjoying your presence, almost.

Steve tries to be good for her, he tries to be a good boyfriend, he wants to be better but it’s hard to think about her, when you are here with him. And, he once again, realizes just how much he misses your presence. Just you, here with him.

You have spent so many days and nights just driving around and listening to music. Sometimes you would sing along to the song, sometimes you would just hold his hand and kiss his cheek every few minutes, sometimes you would both just sit silently, enjoying the music and each other’s presence. He misses those days. He misses them so much.

Dread fills him when he pulls up to your driveway, knowing that this moment is over already. He doesn’t want to watch you go, he doesn’t want you to be alone.

“What are you doing today?” He asks, curiously.

“Uh, I’m gonna go out with Robin later. I wanted to hang out with Eddie tonight but he’s busy?” You mumble in confusion, “I think he’s gotta help Wayne with something.”

Steve avoids looking into your eyes when you turn to face him, he looks down.

“What about you?” You ask, surprising him once again. “Going on a date with your girlfriend?”

“Uh, no. I’m probably gonna watch a movie,” he says with furrowed brows. You know he’s lying, just how you know that Eddie was lying when he told you that he is busy and can’t hang out with you tonight.

“Cool, can I watch with you?” You ask, joking.

With wide eyes, he looks back up at you, his lips part and his cheeks flush red.

He wants to say yes, he wants to say yes so bad, but he can’t. Fuck.

You stare at him for a long minute, watching the way he looks more and more flustered, it tears a giggle out of you, “just kidding, I’m staying at Robin’s today.”

“O-Oh cool.”

“Yeah..” You trail off, looking down at your rings, you suddenly feel awkward to be here with him. He keeps staring at you, the weight of his eyes is heavy and it makes you feel vulnerable again.

“I’m gonna go,” you say without looking back up, you turn your back to him when you reach for the door handle but something stops you from leaving. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You think about last night.

He picked up the phone so quickly. He didn’t even hesitate when you asked him to pick you up, he just came and he took care of you, without question. He comforted you. He was there. He was there when you needed him.

You could just say ‘thank you’ and leave, you could do that. But, instead you do something you always used to do. You turn back around and you scoot closer to him. You startle him a little when you suddenly throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly.

Steve is shocked, confused and happy. Happy to feel your arms around him again. His heart melts, his eyes soften and he can’t help but lean closer to you, wrapping his arms around you slowly.

This feels like old times, this feels right but this isn’t right, he shouldn’t feel this way, especially not when you are struggling with what happened. This is not about him and his feelings, he pushes them aside and he holds you in a way he used to when you were friends, he holds you protectively, rubbing your back like he used to.

“Thank you, Steve.” You whisper before you pull away from him, mustering up a smile as you look into his hazel eyes.

“No need to thank me, dolly.”

You ignore the way your heart skips a beat, the way your stomach flutters and your heart soars for the little girl who used to love when the boy she liked called her that.

You react to it just the way you did back then. Steve notices the way your lip quirks and your brows pull together, the faintest smile appears on your face. It makes him feel something he hasn’t felt in a while.

“Bye Steve,” you whisper.

“Bye,” he says, begrudgingly. He doesn’t want you to leave, he doesn’t want this to end but it does end, way too soon.

He watches you leave, he watches the way you pull at your sleeves again to keep your bruises hidden, the bruises he gave you. Steve grips the steering wheel tightly, his jaw clenches when he thinks of the man who hurt you.

When you walk into the house, you look back one more time, waving at him before closing the door.

Steve thinks, he thinks of your scared voice, he thinks of your tears, he thinks of the broken look in your eyes, of the questions you asked him. He thinks of the smile you used to wear on your face, the happiness in your eyes that was always so contagious, the innocence in your eyes that never faded away.

Steve would do anything for you, anything.

The day passes by in a blur, after eating lunch with your mom and answering all the questions you wanted to avoid, you went back to your room and cleaned up a little before packing your bag for the night, throwing in a set of your favorite pajamas and your toiletries. You take a shower and get dressed before you go downstairs. You try to call Eddie before going to Robin’s but, just as you expected, he doesn’t pick up the phone and when you try to call him later that night, using Robin’s telephone, he doesn’t pick up either.

A bad feeling, a hunch tells you exactly where he is right now, but Robin is quick to shut those thoughts down, distracting you by asking you questions about Steve.

You stay restless, even when she puts on your favorite movie and offers you your favorite snacks, you can’t seem to stop thinking about Eddie and Steve. A part of you wants to call him too, just to see if he will pick up but you decide against it.

Surely, they wouldn’t go after Ray, especially not together, right? They wouldn’t. You know they wouldn’t. And still, you can’t shake the feeling that something is off. That feeling carries on throughout the night, it’s gone in the morning but it keeps you in your thoughts, wondering and questioning that feeling you have felt.

When you call Eddie in the afternoon, he finally picks up with a cheerful voice, knowing that it’s you on the other line. He asks you to come over later before you can even ask him any questions. Hearing his voice puts you at peace, a little.

When you go into the kitchen to grab yourself a drink from the fridge, you notice that your mom forgot the dinner she put into her lunchbox. With a sigh, you reach for it and place it on the counter, deciding to stop by the hospital on the way to Eddie’s.

Though, when you get there, you don’t expect to see him leaving the hospital.

His face is littered in bruises, his arm is in a blue cast. The guy who made you feel powerless just two nights ago, is now struggling to walk with his limp. A man is by his side, you assume that it’s his father who is offering a hand to his son.

It’s dark outside and the only lights illuminating the parking lot are the dim street lights, still, it’s enough to see how bad he looks.

He looks like he is in pain and a part of you feels joy to see him this way, he deserves this. But the longer you look at him, the more you can feel your heart racing when you realize what or better yet, who happened to him.

You know exactly who did this to him.

You know exactly who left him with bruises and a broken arm.

Your breath hitches in your throat when you realize why Eddie didn’t pick up the phone last night.

You know exactly why Steve seemed so nervous when you asked if you could watch a movie with him.

You know exactly who left him with bruises and a broken arm.

You know exactly who did this to him.

tagging friends & mutuals

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @screammunson @hellfire--cult @taintedcigs @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @take-everything-you-can @somethingvicked @trashmouth-richie @xxhellfiregirlxx

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deluluaboutsteve · 7 months

Text

AAAAAAAAH

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 12

Warnings: angst, underage drinking, weed, mentions of other drugs, mentions of depression, slut shaming, attempted sexual assault, (reader being kissed, groped and being held forcefully), (she leaves before more can happen) if that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can stop reading this chapter after the moment with Eddie at his trailer!

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader, Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler, slight Eddie Munson x fem!reader (platonic)

Summary: You try to give dating a second chance and quickly come to regret it when you say yes to the wrong boy.

Word count: 9.5k

A/N: shoutout to my bestie @mysticmunson who always always helps me with the best ideas 🤍

series masterlist

You feel like time is moving faster than usual. One moment it was the new year and now it’s already the end of march and every day pushes you closer and closer to the last day of high school. You can’t believe that it’s almost over.

You can’t believe how much has changed in the past six months.

Had someone told you that you would be graduating without him, a year back, you wouldn’t have believed them. It’s always been you and Steve. No matter how awful he was to you, how badly he treated you, it’s always been you two together.

You wanted to graduate with him, you wanted to go to college with him or even take a gap year and travel through the country with him – that was the plan.

But you will graduate without him and you will go to college without him and you will travel without him – he won’t be by your side, he won’t ever be by your side again and you have come to terms with it. You are okay with it, now.

“Hello?” Robin mumbles, waving her hand in front of your face.

Blinking, you quirk your brow and look at your friend.

“Huh?”

Robin chuckles at the confused look on your face, she sips on her coffee and scoots closer to you on the bench, reaching for a brownie in the brown paper bag between you two.

“What’s on your mind?”

You take a sip of your coffee and avoid looking into her eyes. You’re not about to tell her that you are thinking about your ex boyfriend.

She chews on her brownie and squints her eyes as she stares at you.

“Just that I’m going to graduate soon,” you chuckle and look at the lake in front of you. You and Robin decided to spend the afternoon by the lake after getting your favorite treats from the cafe downtown.

The sun is shining down on you, making your skin feel warm. The water is glistening and you cannot wait to jump into the lake when the weather gets even warmer.

“Yeah, it’s unfair how you and I just became friends and now you’re already leaving!”

You chuckle and nod at her words.

“You should have become friends with Eddie a long time ago!” She mumbles, rolling her eyes, playfully.

A smile tugs at your lips, “I agree.”

“We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.”

“You think?” You ask.

She nods, her eyes widen, “yeah, I mean don’t get me wrong, you’re super nice and chill but cheerleaders make me nervous and there’s no way I would have ever approached you!”

And that is why she hasn't hung out with you and your friends yet. Despite you telling her how nice they are, she is still too nervous to get to know them properly.

You can’t help but smirk at her, “why exactly do they make you feel nervous, Robin?”

She narrows her eyes, glaring at you, which makes you laugh.

You know that she is into girls, it’s something she has been worried about telling you, too afraid of your reaction. It also didn’t help that you had only known each other for a little while, she didn’t trust you at first but the more she got to know you, the more she realized that you aren’t like the other popular kids at school. You aren’t judgmental or rude or a bully – far from it. When she saw you standing up for Eddie in front of the whole cheer squad and the basketball team, she knew that you are a real friend, you risked your ‘queen’ status and your place in the popular crowd but you didn’t care.

She didn’t plan on telling you, she blurted it out after having one too many drinks and when she was sober again, she was afraid of your reaction, all the what if’s ran through her mind – what if you will hate her? What if you will out her to the whole school? What if you will laugh and make her the laughing stock of the town? What if you will be disgusted by her?

She was overthinking. You didn’t give her much of a reaction, in fact, you were chill as always and treated the subject of her sexuality like it was the most normal thing in the world when it definitely isn’t the most normal thing for other people. You went out for breakfast that day and you had asked her who the ‘lucky girl’ is when you found out about her crush, that’s all.

And since then, you have only gotten closer and closer.

She blushes at your question, there are two reasons why cheerleaders make her nervous – 1. They are popular and a little mean and 2. They are hot.

“You know why,” she mumbles and takes a sip of coffee again.

You giggle, “yeah, yeah. I get it, cheerleaders are hot.”

“Eddie thinks so too,” she smirks.

Now it’s your turn to glare at her, “shut up.”

“Oh come on! You tease me, I tease you back! That’s how friendships work, right?”

“Yes,” you say, “but there’s nothing to tease me about.”

She snorts and rolls her eyes, crossing her leg over the other, she leans back and looks up at the blue sky.

“I saw you two together, lying beneath the starry sky and running around like two teenagers in love,” she says, dreamily.

You know that she is talking about the bonfire last weekend.

Shaking your head, you chuckle at her words and roll your eyes.

“We’re just friends.”

“Friends who slap each other’s butts?”

“Exactly.”

She looks down and faces you again, studying your face with a curious look in her eyes. She purses her lips and tilts her head.

“Okay, seriously though, are you just friends or is there more between you two?” She asks, genuinely. Robin watches the way your brows furrow and the way confusion flashes in your eyes. For a split second, you look lost.

You hesitate.

“Yeah, just friends.”

She waits for you to continue, she can tell that you want to say more.

“But, it’s like, he’s a special friend, you know?”

Her eyes widen when she sees the flustered look on your face, she slaps your shoulder, “friends with benefits?” She gasps, loudly.

Your jaw drops and your eyes widen as well, “no!” You almost scream, slapping her shoulder back, “you perv! Why is your mind going there?”

“You should’ve seen the look on your face!” Robin laughs, pushing your hand away. “You two are pretty touchy though so can you even blame me for asking that?”

No. No, you can’t blame her.

Robin has walked in on you cuddling with Eddie way too many times. He casually takes your hand and intertwines your fingers together. He kisses your forehead, your temple, your cheeks, your hands. He picks you up and drives you home. You sleep in each other’s beds and go on ‘friends’ dates. But, you are friends.

“I get what you mean,” you mumble. You know what your friendship with Eddie looks like to other people. Your mom thinks you’re dating and so does Steve’s mom and the rest of the town as it seems. “Eddie is very special to me and I love him but differently, not the way I loved him.” You shrug, looking down at your hands. You touch the rings that he gave you. “Things with Eddie just feel natural and good and I feel so safe with him, you know? I-I feel like he was a missing piece in my life because when he walked in, everything just felt better and it’s nice to know that he doesn’t expect anything from me, that what we have now, is enough.”

Robin’s eyes soften.

“We can just be together, you know?”

She smiles at your words.

“And us being so touchy is just,” you pause, looking for the right word. “Fun? I think we both craved the intimacy and the touch of another person. I never got it from Steve.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he always pushed me away. He hated cuddling, he never held me, he hated holding my hand. His kisses were rough and he always pushed me away after we had.. sex.”

She frowns. She isn’t surprised to hear about how awful he was to you but it upsets her, you deserve better.

“What a jerk.”

“Yeah,” you laugh, shaking your head. “I was pretty messed up when he dumped me, I felt miserable and I was so fucking depressed. I shouldn’t have been, he treated me like shit but I still loved him and I still wanted him and if he came back right away, I would’ve definitely taken him back,” you snort, feeling embarrassed to admit that. “But Eddie came into my life and he was just there, he showed me that I didn’t need him. He showed me that friendships and finding other things that make you happy can be enough.”

Robin can tell that there is more behind your words. Nothing will ever replace the hole that someone you loved so much had left in your heart.

“Eddie makes me happy and I just love what we have. He is not like my other friends but he is not like a boyfriend either. I-I can’t explain it.”

Robin sighs but she smiles at you, “maybe you’re soulmates – platonic soulmates!”

You raise your brows and laugh.

“I’m sorry if you don’t believe in that stuff but I’m a total believer when it comes to soulmates and twin flames and whatnot.”

“Me too, Robin.”

“Cool,” she grins.

“Yeah, cool.” You laugh, wiggling your brows, “now we gotta find your platonic soulmate.”

“Ugh,” she rolls her eyes, “they probably don’t exist.”

“Oh, I’m sure they exist,” you say, “I’m sure they’re around here. Maybe both of them are! Your platonic and romantic soulmate.” You smile.

“I don’t believe that,” she says, blushing.

“But I do. I got a sneaky feeling that you might find them both soon,” you say, not knowing that there is the actual truth behind your words.

You look at the lake in front of you, your mind tries to take you back to all your moments here with him but you force yourself to think of something else, someone else, anything that will stop you from thinking about him.

“Hey,” you nudge her shoulder, “can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

You hesitate again, not knowing whether it’s worth bringing it up or not.

“So uh, last weekend, at the bonfire, this guy asked me out on a date. He called me earlier today and asked if I wanna go out with him tomorrow night but I said that I’m not sure, he sounded disappointed and told me to think about it and that he will wait for my call and now I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” you mumble, “he used to go to our school, his name is Ray.”

“Okay,” she says, slowly, “why are you not sure?”

You shrug, “I don’t know if I wanna go out with him.”

She wants to ask who you really want to go out with but she doesn’t.

“You’re not into him?” Robin asks, her blue eyes are filled with curiosity.

“I mean, he’s hot but I don’t really wanna date anyone right now and I don’t want to have sex.”

Robin scrunches her face up, looking a little confused.

“You don’t have to have sex with him and you don’t have to date him.”

“Yeah but they always want sex,” you mumble.

Disgust flashes in her eyes and she shudders, “do they?”

“Yeah, same with Steve.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I mean we have known each other our whole lives so maybe it’s not that serious when it comes to him but we had sex on our first date,” you pause, rolling your eyes, “and every girl I talk to tells me that every guy expects to get laid on a first date so..”

“Gross,” she says, sipping on her coffee.

“Yeah.”

“But you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. A date can be fun, you can just get to know each other and see if you hit it off, you can laugh together and flirt, do something fun that doesn’t involve kissing or fucking! And a person who is looking for a partner or even just for a companion, won’t want to fuck on a first date,” she says without thinking about her words.

You don’t know why her words hurt, you don’t hang onto him anymore but to think that he never wanted to date you, that he only wanted to fuck you cuts you deep. Was that all you were good for, sex? Is that why he kept you around, so he could fuck you and take his frustrations out on you? Is that why it was so easy for him to dump you? When he found out that he could have both love & sex, he realized that you were no longer useful to him?

And it’s not just Steve who made you feel that way, there’s plenty of guys who have tried to get in your pants, before, during and after your relationship with him. Billy Hargrove has to be the worst of them all.

Her words lingered for the rest of the day, you know that she didn’t mean any harm but it brought back questions that you have always avoided to think about when you were still with him.

She didn’t notice the sad look in your eyes, too busy trying to convince you to go on a date and have some ‘innocent fun’. You agreed with her, maybe it’s what you really need, some innocent fun.

You went home after dropping her off, you cleaned your room and you took a long shower, contemplating whether to call or not call him. You tried reading a book but you kept looking at the telephone.

A part of you wanted to go on that date, the other part was just curious to see how it would all play out.

In the end, you called him and said yes to the date, he seemed excited and that put a smile on your face but you couldn’t help but feel the hesitation of going out with a guy you are not even that interested in. You had a weird feeling in your chest and in your stomach.

Something felt off, something felt wrong, very wrong.

But you were never good at listening to your gut.

You were good at overthinking though and your mind kept taking you back to him and you couldn’t stand it, you needed a distraction. That’s how you ended up here, on Eddie’s bed with a joint between your lips and a lazy smile on your face.

The room smells like weed, the cinnamon candle that you have put on his desk and him. The faint sound of some rock song fills the silence, surprisingly he keeps his music on the low today. Eddie is sitting on his chair, writing something in his notebook, something he won’t let you see. His brows are furrowed, lips tucked beneath his teeth, he looks concentrated.

“What are you writing, Eddie?” You ask, pushing yourself up on your knees, offering him the joint. Instead of taking it from your fingers, he leans closer to you and parts his lips.

You chuckle and place it between his lips.

He looks into your eyes, amusement flashes in them when he notices you biting your lip. He takes a drag and closes his eyes for a moment as he inhales. You watch him and remove the joint. You lick your lips, pulling away from him to place the joint in the ashtray on his nightstand.

Your mind feels hazy, maybe a little too hazy but this is exactly what you wanted.

Eddie blows the smoke into the air and leans back again, he studies your face. Right now, you look calm and relaxed but you looked tense and worried when you got here, he wonders why.

“So?” You ask, still waiting for an answer.

He scratches the back of his neck, his eyes shift away from you, he glances down at his noteback before his eyes meet yours again, “it’s a secret, sweetheart,” he winks.

“Eddie,” you whine, rolling your eyes, “I thought we don’t keep secrets from each other.”

You know it’s nothing serious so you don’t get upset, you could never be upset with him.

“It’s not exactly a secret, just something I don’t want to show you yet,” he says, smiling.

“Oh?”

“Mhmm.”

“Well then, I can relax,” you giggle and lie back again.

Eddie chuckles, shaking his head. He looks back down at his notebook, holding his pen tighter. He looks at the words on the white paper, tilting his head. His eyes flicker back and forth, looking at you and at the unfinished text.

You hum along to the song playing in the background, tapping your fingers against the mattress. You look around his room, eyeing every item as though it’s your first time in here. Your eyes get stuck on the handcuffs adorning the wall. A curious look takes over your face. You have asked him about them before and you felt slightly disappointed when you found out that those aren’t from him being arrested and running away, these are just handcuffs he stole from the equipment at the theater room in school.

You reach for the joint and take a long drag, letting the smoke invade your lungs slowly. You sit up, still eying the handcuffs.

Eddie wonders what you are thinking about. He puts the notebook down, propping his elbow against the table as he watches you, curiously.

“You know what I always wondered?”

“What?” He asks.

“What it’s like to be a criminal,” you say, giggling.

He raises his brows in surprise, clearly not expecting this.

“I kinda wanna know what it’s like to get arrested forcefully, being thrown to the ground and getting handcuffed like in those action movies,” you say as you tilt your head, “I wouldn’t mind getting arrested by Jim Hopper, he’s so hot,” you giggle.

Eddie can’t help but laugh. You aren’t just joking about being cuffed, you are genuinely curious and he is amused by it. An idea crosses his mind and it doesn’t take him long to get into action, he gets up and walks over to the handcuffs, taking them off the wall, he looks at you with a smirk on his face.

“You wanna know what it’s like to be cuffed?” He asks as he holds them in front of your face.

You eye the mischievous look in his eyes, knowing that he has something on his mind, something that has got to do with him cuffing you and you can’t help but feel excitement rushing through you.

You nod eagerly and it only makes him chuckle even more.

“You wanna feel like a little criminal and have a cop running after you?” He asks as he bends down, leaning closer to you until his face is directly in front of yours.

You nod.

“Good cop or bad cop?”

“Bad cop,” you say, biting your lip.

He chuckles darkly, he eyes you up and down before he leans closer, he brushes your hair back, his breath hits the exposed skin on your shoulder, his fingertips linger on your skin, “well then, you better run, sweetheart,” he whispers.

He pulls back and your eyes lock with his again, he is serious about this, you can tell by the look on his face.

For a moment, you are both silent, both waiting for the other to move. The music is still playing but the room is more silent than ever. Suddenly, Eddie lunges at you and a squeal falls from your lips, you manage to dodge his hands and jump back before he gets ahold of you. You put distance between you and him, crawling back and getting up on the other side of the bed.

“Ma’am you are under arrest!” Eddie says with a deep voice and a mean look on his face.

You laugh, loudly but Eddie doesn’t look amused at all.

“Put your hands behind your back!”

“What am I under arrest for, officer?” You ask, blinking innocently.

Eddie frowns, he steps around the bed, trying to get closer to you.

“That’s chief Munson to you, little lady,” he glares at you, still talking in a deep voice, “and you’re under arrest for being a bad girl.”

You raise your hand towards your lips and laugh. He tries to look mean but his eyes are filled with amusement. He steps even closer but before he can get too close, you get back on the bed and crawl over to the other side. Eddie instantly follows you. Your heartbeat picks up and you slam open the door before you run out into the hallway.

“Hey!”

You squeal when you hear him running after you.

“Get back here, you little shit!” Eddie yells, snorting when he trips over Wayne’s slippers.

You run into the living room, stopping behind the table by the couch. You are a giggling mess and Eddie thinks it’s cute, he can’t help but smile as he tries to keep the frown on his face.

“Please chief, don’t arrest me!” You say with a fake whiney voice, “I’ll be a good girl.”

Eddie smirks, “that’s how you talk to the chief?”

“Yeah,” you say, wiggling your brows.

The handcuffs in his hands jingle as he flicks them back and forth, walking closer and closer to you which makes you step closer to the couch.

“You’re only making it worse for yourself, just stay where you are,” he orders, giving you a pointed look.

“Or what?”

He quirks a brow, grinning at you, “or I’ll have to punish you.”

“Aw, I’m so scared.”

Eddie runs forward and reaches his hand out to grab you but you are quicker than him, laughing loudly when you run away again, bolting back to his room but you don’t expect him to catch you so quickly. Suddenly, his arms are wrapped around your waist, he hooks his leg around yours, bringing you down but making sure that you hit the carpet softly, a surprised gasp escapes your lips, in just under ten seconds he has you pinned beneath his body, holding you against the ground.

You struggle against him but he is stronger than you, he presses your front against the floor and holds your hands behind your back, he straddles you from behind as he puts the cold metal around your wrists, cuffing you.

“Got ya,” he whispers in your ear, chuckling.

“Eddie!” You whine, still struggling against him as you try to fight him off.

You can’t see him but you know that he has a smug look on his face.

“Y/n!” He mocks you.

He keeps holding you down, laughing at the way you are struggling and wiggling around. He smirks in satisfaction, “I wish I could take a picture of this,” he jokes as he stares at you and at the way you look beneath him with the handcuffs around your wrists.

“You perv!” You laugh.

Your movements cause your skirt to ride up a little and you don’t notice that you accidentally put your panties on display.

Eddie smirks, ignoring the way his cheeks heat up and the way his stomach flutters.

“Cute polka dot undies, babe. I bet Harrington busted in his pants when he saw these,” he chuckles, staring at your ass.

You are too high out of your mind to be embarrassed about anything, right now. You finally stop wiggling around, you crane your neck to the side, trying to look at him, “I usually didn’t wear any when we were together.”

He laughs in surprise, “okay slut,” he jokes causing you to erupt into a fit of giggles. He tugs at the hem of your skirt, putting it back into place, he then looks away, clearing his throat, he gets up and adjusts his pants before he leans down, uncomfortably. Grabbing your waist, he picks you up, laughing at the way you squeal before he puts you back on your feet. He grabs the cuffs, “let’s get back in the cell, little criminal,” he whispers, pushing you through the hallway and back into his room.

You are still a giggling mess when he takes the cuffs off of you and puts them back on the wall. You plop down on the bed and lie down.

“Tell me, are you gonna wear these cute panties for Parker?” He teases you, narrowing his eyes to watch your reaction. Your eyes widen, you sit back up and straighten your back, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“W-What? How do you know?” You ask in confusion.

He chuckles, turning back to face you, he walks towards you, crouching down in front of you.

“Robin told me that you might want to go on a date with him, I kinda figured you would,” he shrugs.

Eddie hates the idea of you going out with him. Ray is a jock and from his experience, 99% of the jocks are complete assholes, disrespectful to girls and generally, awful human beings. You dated one before, you don’t need another one to hurt you but he isn’t about to tell you what to do or not do – he should have.

You blink, looking nervous all of the sudden, you look hesitant and that puts a frown on his face.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, taking your hands in his, trying to comfort you.

“I think I made a mistake,” you admit as all the happiness and amusement on your face vanishes, “I-I shouldn’t have said yes to the date.”

You look anxious and that makes him anxious too.

“I don’t think that I’m ready.”

His brown eyes soften, he grips your hands tighter. Eddie thinks that you will never be ready to date anyone else – Steve Harrington is the one and only for you. You may think that you have moved on but he knows that you haven’t, he can still see the love in your eyes when you look at him. You aren’t aware of it and neither is he.

Eddie clears his throat, trying to say something but you interrupt him. Pinching your nose, you shake your head.

“I-I don’t even want a boyfriend, right now – let alone another jock! I don’t want to fuck him either, what was I thinking?”

A part of him wants to encourage you to cancel the date, a huge part of him wants to do that, the part that is very protective of you but he doesn’t do it.

“Sweetheart,” Eddie sighs as he sits down beside you, still holding your hand, “you don’t have to date him or fuck him. And a part of you must’ve wanted to go on that date, otherwise you wouldn’t have said yes, right?”

“I guess,” you shrug.

The truth is, you want to know what it’s like to go out with someone who wants you.

“I’m sure Robin told you that already but you can just go out and have fun, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If the date goes well then great but if he turns out to be an asshole then you can just give him the mean right hook you gave Billy and then you’ll call me, I’ll pick you up and kick his ass and then we’re gonna go to family video, rent some movies and binge on our favorite snacks.”

And just like that, the smile on your face returns and Eddie’s eyes light up.

“The campaign is tomorrow,” you point out.

He shrugs, “for you, I’ll cancel any campaign,” he winks and wraps his arm around you, pulling you into his chest.

You smile and snuggle closer to him, “you’re the best, Eddie.”

“No, you are.” He kisses the top of your head and runs his fingers through your hair, “you know what?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m gonna miss this if you get a boyfriend,” he admits when you both lie down and he pulls you on top of him, “shit, I got used to cuddling you, I need my little spoon.”

You giggle into his chest, “I need my big spoon too.” You place your palm on his chest, propping your chin on the top of your hand, you look into his eyes. “I’m not gonna have a boyfriend anytime soon but you might get a girlfriend,” you whisper, tapping his nose, making him smile.

“Nah,” he mumbles, scrunching his nose up, his eyes shift away for a second, “I don’t think so, I just wanna focus on my music and my friends,” he says, squeezing your waist.

You nod.

“I get that. I feel the same way, I just wanna focus on myself a-and be by myself.”

He smiles, he continues to play with your hair, watching you as you reach for his necklace, eyeing the guitar pick.

“We should just stay single together,” he jokes.

“I actually love the idea.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

“I’ll still kick Parker’s ass if you need me to,” Eddie says after a moment of silence, making you laugh again. “I hope that you will have a good time though, sweetheart.”

You hope so too.

You hoped so but at that time you did not know yet that the next night would end up a nightmare. That you would have tears streaming down your face, regretting that you had ever said yes to him.

It’s been a long time since you had been out on a date, you forgot what it’s like to feel the excitement but also the anxiety of going on a first date again. The not knowing of how the night will turn out made you a little nervous. You didn’t know what he had planned and where he would take you but you spent all day picking out an outfit, trying on all your dresses, all your skirts, combining your jeans with your favorite tops. You hated every option, every single outfit felt wrong, even your favorite clothes didn’t feel right on you – you should have taken that as a sign to cancel the date, you should have.

In the end, you settled for a blue sundress, pairing it with your favorite shoes and a denim jacket. You braided the front pieces of your hair and did your make up and finished it up with some pink gloss on your lips.

A part of you kept telling you to cancel the date, to call him and say that you had changed your mind but the other part kept telling you that the doubt and the awful feeling that had settled in the pit of your stomach was because you were overthinking things, because you weren’t ready to go out with someone else.

You sat on your bed and stared at the wall, bouncing your knee up and down as you fought a war in your mind, you had no time to change your mind though, the doorbell rang too soon for your liking.

You felt some of the tension leaving your body when he greeted you with his cute smile and your favorite flowers, you were surprised, you only briefly mentioned what flowers you love the most in your way too short conversation at the bonfire, last week.

He looked excited and that put your mind at ease, a little.

He was a gentleman, he opened the car door for you and asked you how your day had been, he easily made you laugh. There was no awkwardness in the air, none at all. For the first thirty minutes, you were still a little tense though, your heart was pounding, you were nervous but he was great.

The ice broke when The Cure started playing and you found something you have in common, you started talking about your favorite bands. You forgot how nervous you felt, you even forgot how wrong it had felt to go out with him, you forgot the weird feeling in your stomach, for a moment, you forgot everything. You shouldn’t have.

He was respectful and nice all night, he didn’t touch you the way you thought he would. The most he did was offer you his hand or put it on the small of your back. He didn’t put his hand on your thigh when you were at the movies, not the way Steve did on your first date. He didn’t try to kiss you during the movie, he didn’t try anything. He kept making you laugh and it was nice, he made you feel comfortable and that led to you letting your guard down.

For the first time, you had felt like a guy was genuinely interested in you.

After the movies, you went to get some drinks and things were going great, too great. The part that kept screaming at you all day was back and screaming even louder but you drowned that voice out and you focused on him and how interested he seemed in you.

Was luck on your side this time?

But every good moment has to end and now the moment has come and it brings you here.

You are walking down the sidewalk with your hand in his as you discuss the movie you saw earlier tonight.

“There is no way you still think that Halloween is better than Friday the 13th!”

“I do!” You shrug, giggling. “I think it’s the best movie.”

He shakes his head, chuckling, “I think you gotta see more movies.”

“Oh, I watch plenty of movies and I love horror but Halloween is still my favorite.”

“It’s hardly even a horror movie, honey.”

The pet name makes your smile falter a little.

“It’s good though.”

You stop in front of his car and you both turn to face each other, he places his hand on the roof of his car and you watch the way he eyes you up and down, the way his eyes linger on your chest, the way he licks his lips and smirks when his eyes meet yours again.

You have to crane your neck to look up at him, he is tall, even taller than Steve. His hair is dark blonde and his eyes are blue, he has a look in his eyes that Steve doesn’t have, you don’t know whether it’s a good sign or not. His hair falls in front of his eyes.

He is handsome but he isn’t him.

You feel shy beneath his gaze, something his demeanor has changed in the past few minutes.

“Tell me,” he says as he leans closer to you, “which girl are you in a horror movie, the one that gets killed having sex or the innocent little girl turning into a killer?”

Maybe that should have made you turn on your heel and run but instead, you giggle at his question with a confused look on your face.

You shrug, “I don’t know. Who are you? The jock that gets killed when the popular girl fucks him or the unassuming guy who turns out to be the slasher?”

He chuckles darkly, “why don’t you find out?” He jokes as he unlocks the car and opens the door for you.

You laugh, “sure, why not.”

The night is over and you can’t help but feel relieved, the date went great and you are happy about that, at least, you can go to bed knowing that there are guys who still just want to get to know you, without wanting something from you.

Eddie is one of those guys too, he just wants to be around you but he is just a friend, nothing more.

The small smile that lingered on your lips slowly disappears when he drives past the street that leads to your house. You glance at him, swallowing nervously.

“That’s not the way to my house.”

He tilts his head, narrowing his eyes at you with a smile, “oh I know, the night isn’t over yet,” he winks and looks back, gripping the steering wheel with one hand and letting his other hand linger close to you.

There is nothing bad about what he said but you feel your heart dropping and a shiver running down your spine, still, you try to stay calm. You take a deep breath and look out the window, watching the passing trees.

This can still have a good ending, right?

He drums his fingers against the steering wheel.

“Everything okay?”

You force a smile on your face and nod, “mhm.”

He is making sure that you are okay, that must be a good sign, right?

The wooded area he was driving through, already gave you all the signs where he is taking you, you are still surprised when he parks the car at Lovers Lake.

“You’re not actually the unassuming slasher are you?” You joke when you stare at the dark lake in front of you.

He chuckles at your question, he turns off the car and unbuckles his seatbelt. You do the same, thinking that he wants to leave the car.

“Are we going skinny dipping?” You ask, laughing as you reach for the door handle but before you can open it, he reaches out, cupping your face with his large hands and pulling you into him, he smashes his lips against yours, catching you off guard a little.

Your heart beats faster and you gasp against him, you did not expect this. He pulls you even closer against him, kissing you desperately.

It feels wrong, so so wrong.

But you decide to try it out, to see what it’s like to kiss someone else. You place your hand on his cheek, you close your eyes and you kiss him back.

He hums in satisfaction, his thumb lingers on your cheekbone, his lips move softly against yours. It's nice, at first, but then it gets rougher and faster.

You can taste the coke and the rum on his lips, you can smell his expensive cologne on him, you can feel how rough he is and you can still feel how he’s pulling back, he wants more and it makes the pit in your stomach grow bigger.

Disappointment is all you feel now, of course it had to go this way.

His hands move down to your shoulders and he deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue past your lips, you can feel him smirking against you when you whimper – not from pleasure but from the discomfort of the forceful kiss, you don't know why you keep going, you don’t know why you keep kissing him when you can already tell where is he is trying to take this. He pushes your jacket down along with the straps of your dress and then he breaks the kiss, smirking at you when you gasp at the roughness of his hands as he pulls you closer against him, you can’t keep up with his quick movements. Before you can react, he pushes your hair back and buries his face in your neck, not wasting a second to start kissing and sucking on your neck, it hurts.

You scrunch your face up, hissing when you feel his teeth gracing your skin.

“Ray.”

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard.”

You shudder in disgust and tilt your head, trying to move back, scooting away, only for him to pull you back. When you feel his hands gripping your sides tightly, you feel your stomach dropping, you freeze when you realize what this night is turning into.

“Stop it,” you warn him with a shaky voice, your heart is pounding in your chest and everything inside of you screams at you to get out of here.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asks as he suddenly grabs your thigh, trying to push his hand under your dress, “come on, don’t be such a prude, y/n. We both know you want this. I saw the way you looked at me.”

His words make you feel sick, the nausea rises up quickly and you feel like throwing up.

“No! Stop it, Ray!” You say louder as a mix of anger and fear rushes through you, “I don’t want this!”

The fear inside of you doesn’t know how to handle the situation but the anger does. You grab his hair and pull him away from you, ripping his hand away with your other hand.

“I said no, asshole!” You spit and slap him harshly across the face with the back of your hand, knowing that the rings that Eddie gave you will leave marks on his skin.

His eyes darken at your action, he clenches his jaw and his cheeks grow red, you see the anger and rage behind his eyes and it scares you. With shaky hands, you rip the door open and get out of the car. You need to get out of here, you need to get away from him.

Luck is never on your side.

You feel like a fool for thinking that he was just interested in you. Of course, he wanted more, of course he wanted this from you. What else could he possibly want from you?

You feel your heart in your throat and the regret and fear in you is so strong, you don’t know whether to scream or cry when you hear him getting out of his car. Your first instinct is to run but he grabs your waist and drags you back. You can’t even fight him off, he is much bigger and stronger than you are. He slams you against the car and pins your wrists against it, holding them tightly, too tightly.

“Let me go!” You yell, struggling against the grip he has around your wrists.

He shakes his head, laughing.

“I told you, I don’t want this! I don’t want to have sex with you so let me go or–”

“Or what?” He chuckles, “you’re not gonna do shit. You can’t tell me you didn’t wear this for me,” he says, tugging at your dress before he lets go of your wrist and grabs your face instead, “and the way you looked at me at the bonfire? You gave me those eyes, babe. I knew you wanted to be fucked.”

You shake your head, you press yourself against the car, desperately needing some distance between you and him.

“I didn’t, I thought you were nice.”

“Aw,” he pouts but even in the darkness, you can see the amusement in his eyes, “you thought I was nice? You thought I wanted to take you out on a cute little date, kiss you on your porch and ask you to be my girlfriend?”

No but you certainly didn’t want this. The guy he was earlier, is gone, he dropped the act and is now showing you the side you are afraid of.

“If I wanted a girlfriend, I wouldn’t have asked you out,” he says, chuckling, “you think I was interested in you?”

You don’t answer him, you just continue to stare at him.

“Jesus,” he sighs, “you’re so fucking dumb.”

Your lips part and your brows furrow, you feel like punching him but you also feel like crying, this is a nightmare.

“What would I want with a stupid little bitch like you?” He laughs and he finally lets go of you, taking a step back.

You feel relieved to no longer feel his hands on you but your heart is still pounding and you feel cold.

“I took you out and listened to the shit you were telling me about, the least you could do was let me fuck you after teasing me all night.”

You blink, staring at him in disbelief.

“Let me tell you something, y/n,” he says, tilting his head.

You should have walked away, you shouldn’t have let him speak, you shouldn’t have listened to him, you should’ve left.

But you stand frozen in place, you are blinking, your eyes are wet with tears.

“You are so fucking boring. You’re just a dumb little cheerleader with no fucking personality. The only good thing you have is your pretty face and your body – you should be thankful for that, by the way,” he says, pointing at you, “you’re a good fuck and that’s all you’ll ever be, that’s why Harrington dumped you, you’re not fucking interesting enough to keep around.”

Somehow, he knew which words he had to use to hurt you.

You know that you were never good enough for him, you know that he didn’t love you, you know that he turned away from you because he found something better, something real.

You feel like a fool for thinking that someone could want you for more than this.

Ray had voiced everything that has been on your mind already.

“Oh and that Munson guy you hang out with? He’ll drop you too the moment you spread your legs for him — that’s probably why he’s still around, he’s just waiting for you to whore yourself out to him.”

You want to scream at him, you want to hurt him back but you don’t feel the power to actually fight back.

You stare at him through your blurry vision, breathing heavily as you clench your fists. You can feel yourself wanting to cry but you would never give him the satisfaction and show him how hurt you are. You turn on your heel and walk away, pulling the strap of your dress and your jacket back in place.

“Where are you going?” He asks, making you scoff in disbelief.

You flip him off without looking back, “fuck you!”

You don’t know where to go, you don’t know how to get home from here, it’s too dark to even see anything but you would rather get lost in the woods than get back in his car. You choose to walk down the dark path, refusing to get back on the road where he will drive by.

You refuse to let the tears fall, you blink rapidly, tugging your jacket tighter around you as you strut through the woods. You feel disgusted and angry, you regret this, you regret everything.

You hate yourself for going out with him, you hate yourself for kissing him back, you hate yourself for letting his words get to you. You wipe away the tear that threatened to roll down your cheek.

You were doing so good. You were happy. You were content with the way things were going. Why did you have to say yes to the date? Why did you have to ruin everything? His words have triggered something inside of you, something you had tried to leave in the past.

That’s why Harrington dumped you. That’s why Harrington dumped you. That’s why Harrington dumped you.

I’m not in love with you anymore.

Did you really think that I meant that?

I didn’t, I-I’m not even sure if I ever loved you, y/n. I wouldn’t have fallen for her if I did love you, right?

I mean, it wasn’t love.

Well, he wasn’t in love with her– I mean, he dated her because that was expected of him, right? She’s the popular cheerleader, the pretty rich girl, those have nothing in their brains and they’re pretty boring too so.. It was all just for show, I-I mean, do you really think he wanted her for her?

The voices in your head get louder and louder, overpowering the other. You can’t do this anymore, you can’t. You halt in your tracks, you put your hands over your ears, shaking your head.

A hand on your shoulder pulls you out of your thoughts, startling you. A gasp falls from your lips and you jump back with wide eyes, only now realizing that you are not on the dark path any longer. The street lights illuminate the street ahead of you, you recognize the boat houses.

“Whoa, relax, girly. It’s just me.”

You press your palm against your chest and sigh, it takes you a moment to recognize the lanky guy in front of you.

Reefer Rick.

Eddie’s supplier.

“You scared me,” you mumble, rolling your eyes. You relax as you continue to take deep breaths.

The smell of weed invades your space and you glance back at him, noticing the joint between his lips.

“Sorry, kid. What’re you doing out here by yourself?” He asks, smoking his joint.

“Walking.”

“Walking in a dress?”

You look down at yourself with a frown, “what’s wrong with walking in a dress?”

“Nothin’,” he laughs, clearly stoned out of his mind, “I wouldn’t want to walk in a dress.”

“Okay..”

He points to his house, “I’m throwing a party, wanna come inside? I got some new stuff to try out.”

New stuff – new drugs. You don’t take drugs, except for the occasional joints you smoke with Eddie but that’s all.

You should go home right now but the thought of being alone with your thoughts seems too much after the night you had and you want to forget, forget everything that happened.

You hesitate though, you promised Eddie that you would never go to one of Rick’s parties by yourself, he made you promise, claiming that he doesn’t trust the people that Rick surrounds himself with.

Normally, you wouldn’t do this but tonight, you don’t care about the promises that you have made. You need a drink or maybe even something stronger.

“Okay.”

After a long and exhausting campaign, Eddie wanted nothing more than to go home, call you to ask how the date had gone and then go straight into bed but he had promised Rick to drop by and pick up the new supplies.

He parks the car on the side of the road, sighing when he sees all the cars in his driveway, the people on his porch.

Eddie hates parties, especially Rick’s parties, too many crazy people in one house. He walks into the boathouse, wincing at the music – not at the volume but at the awful song choice. He looks around, looking for his supplier.

“Aye Munson!”

He perks up when he hears Rick’s voice, he cranes his neck, looking over a group of girls. He waves his hand in front of his face when someone blows smoke directly into his face as he makes his way over to him.

He is too tired for this tonight and quite frankly, he isn’t in the mood to be here. He wants to check on you. A weird feeling in his stomach had kept him from enjoying the night with the boys from hellfire tonight, it triggered a headache too.

“There you are!” Rick grins and throws his arm around Eddie, “how’s it going?”

“Good,” Eddie mumbles.

Over the loud music, he hears a girl’s giggle and he could swear it sounded like you.

“Listen uh, you got the stuff?” Eddie asks.

“You don’t wanna stick around?” Rick asks, frowning.

“Nah man, I’m tired. Maybe next time.”

Rick sighs, he runs his hand through his messy hair, sticking his joint back between his lips.

“Alright, I’ll get your stuff, wait here.”

Eddie nods. He puts his hands into his pockets, he looks around. A cloud of smoke hangs over the living room, the smell of weed and alcohol is heavy in the air. Most people here are strangers to Eddie, he wonders where Rick finds these people.

He looks over at the people dancing, snorting at the couple making out in the middle of the dance floor, the group of girls that are laughing and singing along to the music don’t seem to bother them as they continue to bump into them. He looks away but then his eyes catch sight of something that makes him freeze in his spot. He has to take a double look to make sure that his eyes aren’t playing tricks on him.

Amongst the girls he had never seen, is you.

“What the hell,” Eddie mumbles, confused.

You have glitter on your face, your eyes are red, he can even tell from a distance. You are giggling loudly, letting one of the girls twirl you around as she holds your hand over your head.

You are either drunk or on drugs.

“You gotta be kidding me,” he mumbles through gritted teeth.

What are you doing here and where is your date?

He is not happy to see you here. This is not a good place.

Angrily, he stomps over to you, pushing past the people who are on the dancefloor next to you. He calls your name loudly and watches the way your bloodshot eyes widen when you see him. You pull away from the girls, stumbling on your feet, a little.

“Eddie!” You squeal and run towards him, throwing your arms around him. “What are you doing here!”

He smells the whiskey and the weed on you, right away and it pisses him off.

“What am I doing here?” He asks as he pushes you away from him, carefully. “What are you doing here?”

He watches the way your face drops, the way your lips set in a pout at the tone in his voice.

“I told you not to come here by yourself! Where is your date?” He asks, too angry to notice anything, too angry to notice the look in your eyes, too angry and worried to see the marks on the side of your neck or the red and purplish bruises around your wrists.

You fall into a ramble, giving him nothing but incoherent words. You blink rapidly, your voice is shaky, he doesn’t understand a single word and he can tell that you are starting to hyperventilate as the happiness and the bliss begins to fade away more and more.

He puts his arm around you and leads you out on the porch, where it’s more quiet, he sits you down on the steps and puts his hands on your shoulders.

“Sweetheart, you need to calm down,” he says when your rambling causes you to breathe faster.

“I-I, yeah.” Is all you say as you rub your eyes, not caring about your make up.

“What did you take?” He asks, thinking that it’s the drugs that are messing with you.

“Just weed and w-whiskey,” you slur.

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you’re here alone?”

You nod.

“Jesus Christ, y/n,” he murmurs, “I told you not to come here! Do you ever listen?”

He doesn’t notice the way you flinch at his words, the way you look at him with glossy eyes as you search for the usual warmth in his eyes.

“I’m gonna get you some water and then I’ll drive you home, okay?”

“Okay,” you whisper.

He gets up, he looks down at you, your eyes lock and he notices the way you look at him, like a scolded child, big eyes that are filled with sadness and guilt, pouty, quivering lips. His eyes soften but he is still so angry, he sighs and turns away and walks back into the house.

He is angry that you didn’t listen, he is angry because he doesn’t know what would happen if he didn’t show up here tonight.

But he doesn’t know what had already happened.

When he walks back out with a water bottle in hand, he closes the door behind him and speaks up without looking at you.

“Alright let’s go – oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me!” He yells, startling some of the people who are still out on the porch. But you are gone.

“Jesus H. Christ!”

Another sleepless night keeps Steve on his toes. He hates it. He finished his homework earlier tonight, he went out for a run, took a long shower, cleaned his room and reread Pride and Prejudices again.

He wanted to go to the movies with Nancy but she had already made plans with Barb tonight – a ‘girls sleepover’.

He envies her a little, he doesn’t have any friends anymore, no one to hang out with, no one to play basketball with, no one to go to the movies with. He misses it.

He lies in his bed, throwing a baseball into the air and listening to Tears For Fears. He lets his mind wander, he wonders what you are doing right now, he wonders if you are with Eddie tonight, he wonders if – no. Stop it, just stop it.

Sighing, he throws the ball across the room, letting it bounce of the wall and onto the floor, he turns on his side, facing his nightstand and the telephone he keeps staring at every night, hoping for a call from –

His heart leaps to his throat and he almost jumps up when it starts ringing. He stares at it for a moment, almost in disbelief.

The shrill ringing continues to sound through the room and he leans over, grabbing the receiver and sitting up as he holds it to his ear.

“Hello?”

Steve doesn’t know what or who he expected it to be – maybe Nancy or his mom or even Dustin or one of the other kids who sometimes prank call him but when he hears the quiet sniffle, he instantly knows who it is without having to hear the voice first.

His face falls and a frown takes over.

“Steve?”

taglist: @corrodedcorpses @corrodedseraphine @wroteclassicaly @screammunson @hellfire--cult @taintedcigs @take-everything-you-can @nemesis729 @sherrylyn628 @somethingvicked @xxhellfiregirlxx @trashmouth-richie

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deluluaboutsteve · 7 months

Text

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 11

Warnings: none really, mentions of smoking and drinking, reader punching someone....

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler , slight Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Steve watches you from afar, confused about your relationship with the metalhead.

Word count: 4.9k

A/N: @mysticmunson you're always my biggest help and inspiration, thank you, angel🤍

series masterlist

“Will you hold still?”

“I’m sorry!”

“Why are you so shaky?”

“I-I don’t know.”

You drop the eyeshadow brush on the desk and put your hand on your hip, sighing as you look at Chrissy who looks more nervous than ever. She is still wearing a hoodie, the cheer uniform is hanging over the back of your chair. You have been trying to do her eye makeup for the past twenty minutes.

“Lay down.”

Her eyebrows shoot up, confusion takes over her face, “why?”

“Because I can’t work like this, you keep fidgeting – seriously, what’s up? You are never this nervous.”

You and Chrissy always get ready together whenever there’s a basketball game. Usually she does her makeup herself but tonight she asked you to do it, she wanted something similar like you, just with more color.

She seemed happy and excited when she came over but now she seems like a nervous mess. Every time you move closer to her, she starts fidgeting, it’s not the first time you had noticed her doing that. You have noticed a lot in the past three months.

Heather and Chrissy kept being secretive, oftentimes you would catch them whispering before they’d notice you in the room, they share glances that you don’t understand. They still make you feel left out. You confronted them a while back but neither of them gave you any answers to your questions, it upset you and it caused you to distance yourself from them a little.

They had started to make you feel the way he made you feel. The constant lies, the whispers and them going behind your back had gotten to you. It triggered some feelings that you thought you had left in the past.

They were upset when you stopped answering their phone calls and when you would cancel plans but you couldn’t be around them when they refused to talk about the very obvious issues they had with you. You would never drop the friendship, you would never leave them behind, they mean too much to you to just kick them out of your life but you needed some distance, for your sake.

You made a new friend, Robin Buckley. Eddie introduced you to her back in January, they had been friends since middle school – back when he was still a theater kid.

You instantly hit it off with her, she is nice and she is very different from Chrissy and Heather, which is why she didn’t feel comfortable hanging out with them yet. It’s a miracle that she gave you a chance considering that ‘popular’ people make her feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable – which you can understand now that you see things from a different perspective.

To most people, you are still the ‘the queen of Hawkins High’ but to some you are one of the freaks now. They glare at you, they whisper about you, they call you names and point their fingers at you, especially when they see you with Eddie, who feels guilty about the treatment you are getting from some of the people that used to be in your friend group when you were still with Steve. You don’t care though.

You don’t care what other people think of you.

But you do care what your friends think about you, your friends who still keep secrets.

“Yeah Chrissy, why are you so nervous?” Eddie chuckles as he looks up from his magazine, glancing at the two of you. Wiggling his eyebrows at her. She glares at him and rolls her eyes, which only makes him chuckle again.

Eddie knows why she is so nervous, it’s obvious why – well, it’s obvious to everyone but you. It didn’t take him long to figure it out. The subtle glares and the attitude he sometimes gets from the usually nice cheerleader isn’t because she doesn’t like him, it’s because she is jealous of him. Because she likes you.

And she knows that he knows, she realized it after he started teasing her with small comments and the smug looks he would throw at her when he’d catch her checking you out. At first, she was scared. Scared that he would tell you something that she had been trying to hide for so long. Eddie promised not to tell though.

Chrissy lies down, a small huff leaves her lips. You get on the bed and scoot closer to her, reaching for the eyeshadow brush, you dip it into the blue eyeshadow before you lean down.

She is looking at you – staring at you.

“Close your eyes,” you chuckle.

“O-Oh right,” she whispers and closes her eyes.

Eddie puts the magazine down, he leans back in his chair and puts his arm behind his head. He looks at you, you are already wearing your uniform, your hair and makeup is already done. He watches the way you bend down to get closer to Chrissy, your skirt rides up a little, exposing your spandex and more of your skin. He really really doesn’t want to look at you in that way but he can’t look away either.

You are his friend and he really loves your friendship and how easy things are between the two of you but you are beautiful.

And you are sexy.

You suddenly turn around and glance at him, you catch him staring at you. Eddie’s eyes widen but he plays it cool, smirking at you. Your eyes flash with amusement, you raise your brows at him, a smirk tugs at your lips.

“Stop staring, Munson.”

Eddie gives you a cocky grin, “I can’t look away from a beautiful sunset.”

You furrow your brows and a laugh escapes your lips, you shake your head at him, “what does that even mean, you dork?”

You turn back around, still smiling. Chrissy snorts at his words.

“Okay, tell any sane person to look away from two cheerleaders straddling,” he says.

“Eddie!” Chrissy mumbles, opening her eyes to look at you with a disapproving frown.

You grab one of your pillows and turn around, throwing it at him, “perv!” You laugh.

He catches it and presses it against his chest, he smirks at you, “can you do my eyeshadow too, sweetheart?” He jokes.

“Shut up,” you chuckle as you turn back around. You reach for your makeup bag and look for the glitter you bought when you went shopping with Robin, yesterday.

Chrissy leans on her elbows, she glances at Eddie who is checking you out again and then her eyes move back to you. She can see the shine in your eyes, the smile that you are trying to bite back, the flustered look on your face.

It annoys her.

Eddie is amazing and with him, you would actually be in good hands. He is a much better person than Steve ever was. He wouldn’t hurt you, especially not the way he did. Eddie makes you smile, he spends more time with you than Steve did, he buys you little presents that he surprises you with, all the time. He takes you out on dates that ‘clearly’ aren’t dates because you are just friends. Eddie comes to basketball games – he comes to basketball games, just for you.

Eddie would be a good boyfriend, there is no doubt about that. She is not sure if you like each other or not but it seems like it. She should be happy for you and she should support it but the green eyed monster inside of her just refuses to let her be happy for you.

“Are you excited for the party?”

Chrissy snaps out of her thoughts, she looks into your eyes again and nods.

“Are you gonna wear the dress you bought?”

She closes her eyes again when you lean back in with the brush. She feels your fingertips on her cheek when you tilt her face to the side. She takes in a shaky breath.

“Should I?”

You hum.

“You look pretty in it.”

She smiles at your words, “I do?”

“Yes, you always do, Chris.”

She blushes and her smile grows bigger, “thank you,” she whispers.

You smile down at her, “you’re welcome.”

After you finish her makeup, Chrissy takes her uniform and goes into your bathroom to get changed. You clean up the small mess and put away all the makeup and the brushes, you grab your favorite lipstick and walk over to the mirror, you can feel his eyes on you as you start applying the lipstick. A smile tugs at your lips, you glance at him through the mirror. He’s wearing the same smile as you.

“What?”

He shakes his head, scratching the back of his neck, “nothing.”

You furrow your brows, you smack your lips together and look at your reflection one more time before you turn around to face him.

“Why are you smiling?”

He shrugs and gets up from the chair, he grabs the green hair bow and walks towards you.

“I like watching you get ready,” he says.

“You do?” You smile.

He nods, “mhmm.”

He stops in front of you and looks down at you as he holds up the green hair bow, “turn around.”

You turn around, facing the mirror again. He steps closer to you. You can smell his cologne, it’s a new one. It smells even better than the previous one he used. The smell of smoke always lingers around him though, nothing can hide the smell – not the cologne, not the aftershave, not his shampoo which surprisingly smells like apples, not the cinnamon from his favorite gum.

Eddie’s hands are gentle, his brows are furrowed in concentration, he presses his lips together as he puts the bow in your hair.

Something about this makes you giggle. Eddie being in your bedroom isn’t unusual but him helping you get ready for the game, putting a bow in your hair is very unusual.

His eyes flash with amusement as he raises his head to look at your reflection in the mirror, “what’s so funny?”

You shrug and continue watching him, “just you helping me get ready for a laundry basket game.”

He snorts.

“I’m helping you get ready for your performance and I’m only going there for you, sweets.”

Your heart warms at his words.

“And then you’re also coming to the bonfire party with me.”

“With you.” He nods.

“Alright, I’m done,” he grins and flicks your ponytail before he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug, leaning his chin on your shoulder, causing you to giggle again.

You grab his forearms and lean back.

“Do you hug all your friends that way?”

He chuckles and pulls you even closer, “nah only the special ones, babe,” he smirks and buries his face in your neck, breathing in the smell of your perfume and body wash.

You giggle and tilt your head to the side, “how many special ones are there?”

“Just one.”

You narrow your eyes as you turn to look at him, he smirks at you still.

“You’re my very special one.”

He isn’t joking about that, despite the teasing look on his face, he is saying the truth. You are special to Eddie. You haven’t been friends for that long, you started talking last summer, back in august but you have only gotten really close after your breakup with Steve. It feels like you have been friends for much longer than that though. The moment you first started hanging out, you instantly got attached to each other. Not a single day goes by when you don’t spend time together, he loves being with you and you love being with him.

Things feel natural, easy and just good when you are with each other.

You look into each other's eyes for a moment, not speaking, not moving, not doing anything. Sometimes that’s enough.

A smile tugs at your lips as you look at him. His smile grows as well and before you know it, you both start laughing for no reason.

Chrissy walks back into the room to see you in his embrace. She clenches her jaw and rolls her eyes in annoyance. She clears her throat.

You and Eddie look away from each other, the smile still ever present on your faces. You don’t notice the jealousy or the bitterness on her face. He does.

“Can we go?”

You glance at Eddie who nods at you with a shrug. He is definitely not excited for the game, you told him that he doesn’t have to go but he claimed that he wants to go, for you.

You smile at them both, “let’s go!”

Things between Steve and Billy were tense all night. You could tell from the moment they walked out into the gym, the glares they sent each other were more intense than usual, they wouldn’t pass on any opportunity to ‘accidentally’ bump into each other and not to mention Steve’s bleeding nose, he tried to hide it but he kept wiping his nose and you noticed the blood on the back of his hand.

He looked angry and frustrated. You noticed it, right away.

She didn’t.

Despite the tension and the weird energy that surrounded one of the best players on the team, they still won against the opposing team and took another win home, which of course has to be celebrated.

Lovers Lake is filled with people, the bonfire party that had been planned for weeks is in full swing, loud music is sounding through the speakers, the smell of burning wood mixed with the smell of the crisp spring air brings you comfort. The cold months are over and the warm weather is finally approaching.

The beer you have been drinking all night makes you feel a little tipsy but you feel calm and the stars in the sky make you smile as you lay on the grass with Eddie. He lights up a cigarette and blows the smoke up into the air.

You turn your head and look around, a few people are sitting by the fire. You see Chrissy and Heather talking to a few girls from the cheer squad. You see Nancy sitting on a log with Jonathan, they are both laughing, leaning closer to each other, Steve is sitting on a different log, he is holding a red solo cup in his hand, he looks into the fire with a dull look on his face.

You raise your brows, you look at the three of them. Odd. Shouldn’t he be the one next to her? Shouldn’t he be the one whispering to her? Shouldn’t he be the one making her laugh?

“Do you think there’s more out there?” Eddie asks, pulling your attention away from him.

“Hmm?”

Eddie repeats his question and you turn back to look at him, he is pointing up at the sky, “like aliens and shit.”

You scoot closer to him, looking at the way he squints his eyes as he smokes.

“Hmm, maybe,” you shrug, “I think there’s more than just aliens though.”

“Oh, do you?” He asks, turning to face you, “tell me more.”

“I think there’s other universes.”

He raises his brows, waiting for you to explain more.

“I think there are different worlds, different versions of us – like, maybe there's a version of us fighting interdimensional monsters right now,” you joke, which he seems to love.

His eyes light up at your words and he laughs.

“Maybe we are slaying a dark wizard right now – what was his name again, Vecman? You know the one from your new campaign?”

Eddie laughs loudly and he shakes his head, “it’s Vecna, sweetheart.”

You roll your eyes and snort.

“Right, we are killing Vecna, right now.”

“Are we normal humans or?”

“No, we have superpowers.”

“What kind of superpowers?”

You put your finger on your chin and look up, “hmm… you got super strength, super speed,” you pause and look into his eyes, his skin looks pale beneath the moonlight, his eyes are dark. Your eyes widen, “you’re a vampire!”

His jaw drops, his eyes widen, “I’m a vampire?”

“Yes!”

“That means I had to die – wait! Did you bring me back from the dead? You know, since you’re a witch?”

"Absolutely,” you giggle.

“That’s so sick, sweetheart.”

“Right?”

You both giggle as you stare at each other. His eyes fall to the chain around your neck, the one that he had put on you earlier tonight. He reaches his hand out and touches it.

“Maybe we are both rockstars in a different world.”

“Both of us?” You laugh, “I can see you being a rockstar but me?”

“Hush. You are helping me write songs and you can play guitar now – well a little, never as good as me but yeah,” he says, cockily. Smirking at you.

You shake your head, snorting at his words.

“Maybe you are my groupie.”

“You wish!” You slap his shoulder, making him laugh again.

“Okay okay, not a groupie – you are the lead singer and I’m the sexy guitarist.”

“Mhmm.”

You lie back again and look up at the stars, a grin takes over your face, “or maybe you are my groupie.”

“Oh absolutely, I’d totally be your groupie if you were a rockstar, y/n.”

You and Eddie are in your own little world, you always are. You don’t care about anything or anyone else when you are with each other. The rest of the world melts away when you spend time together.

You don’t care about the people around you or the awful music that one of the jocks picked out, the prying eyes of the judging girls from the cheer squad. You just don’t care about anything.

You don’t even notice the curious eyes of your ex boyfriend but Eddie does, after you get up to get a new drink. His eyes find a sulking Steve Harrington, who is still sitting by the fire. His girlfriend is long gone and so is her friend, Eddie doesn’t bother to look around for them. He keeps his eyes on Steve, watching the way his eyes follow you. Eddie wonders why he looks so miserable, because of Nancy and Jonathan or because of you? It seems to be the latter, he could be looking for her but instead he is watching you.

A sigh falls from Eddie’s lips, how stupid can someone be? He wonders.

Suddenly, Steve straightens his back and his expression changes from miserable to curious and tense? He turns his head, looking right at him. Eddie raises his brows when he finds himself locking eyes with him. Steve looks confused, his eyes flicker back and forth between you and him.

Eddie follows his gaze to see what confuses him so much. He is looking at you and at the guy who is shamelessly checking you out as you laugh at something he said to you.

Eddie snorts. Of course. If there is one thing that he got used to when going out with you then it’s you being hit on, every damn time.

The guy is tall, probably taller than him. His shoulders are broad beneath the flannel, it’s clear that he’s some sort of athlete. He looks familiar but Eddie doesn’t recognize him.

Curiously, Eddie watches the interaction from afar, sipping his beer.

You are holding a drink in your hand, you have to crane your neck to look into his eyes. Eddie can see the smile on your face, you nod to whatever he is saying to you. He steps closer to you, pretending not to hear you properly, he leans closer and licks his lips when he looks down your shirt.

Eddie rolls his eyes, “douchebag.”

The music is loud but he still hears the approaching footsteps, narrowing his eyes, he almost laughs in surprise when he sees Steve. Getting up, he dusts the grass off of his jeans and finishes his drink.

Steve stops in front of him, when Eddie sees the look of disbelief on his face, he almost bursts out laughing.

“I’m not selling tonight,” he mumbles.

Steve shakes his head, furrowing his brows at his words, “I don’t wanna buy anything.”

“Oh, to what do I owe you the pleasure then, King Steve?” Eddie asks, mockingly. He expects Steve to look annoyed but he doesn’t, just very confused.

“You’re not gonna do anything?” Steve asks.

Eddie chuckles, his brows draw together and he tilts his head in question.

“What do you mean?”

Steve raises his hand, pointing his finger at you and the guy who is now holding his hand out to you – you are writing something on his palm, presumably your number.

Eddie rolls his eyes again.

“This guy is flirting with her,” Steve mumbles.

“I’m not her keeper.”

Now he looks even more confused, if he didn’t look so serious, Eddie would have laughed. But then he realizes why he looks at him so shocked. Steve must think that you and Eddie are dating and he doesn’t understand how he as your ‘boyfriend’ just lets you flirt with some other guy.

Steve sighs, he turns around. Eddie watches the way he stares the guy down, a look of distaste appears on his face.

“That’s Ray, he used to be the captain of the basketball team. I always hated that guy.” Steve mumbles.

That’s a lie. Steve used to look up to him, when he was a freshman in high school and he was new on the team, Ray had seemed like the coolest guy around, he was the most popular guy at school, the girls loved him, the boys wanted to be like him and so did Steve until he became popular too and he realized that he could be even better than him. Ray was just a popular guy but Steve Harrington became the King of the school.

A title he used to be so proud of is just an embarrassing part of his past now.

Steve is certain that you and Eddie are dating. He could just ask to be sure but he thinks that it’s too obvious. You are dating. But why are you flirting with the former captain of the basketball team? Why are you writing your number on his hand? Are you in an open relationship with Eddie?

An open relationship is something you never approved of, you always made that very clear, not that Steve suggested something like this. Tommy always joked about it to Carol and you looked disgusted and always voiced your opinions on it.

What happened?

Did the hurt change you so much?

Ray walks away from you and you turn around, walking back to Eddie when someone else steps in front of you and both Eddie and Steve sigh in annoyance.

Billy Hargrove. Always there to ruin the night.

“Getting bored of the freak?”

The smile on your face falls, a sour expression takes over and you tense up. You can’t stand Billy. Not only does he keep trying to get in your pants while he has a thing going on with your friend, he also keeps insulting Eddie and picking fights with Steve, which shouldn’t be any of your concerns but something tells you that Steve’s bleeding nose and the bruise on Billy’s jaw has got something to do with you.

“Fuck off, Billy,” you mumble, trying to move past him. He doesn’t let you. He steps in front of you and chuckles.

“Don’t be like that, baby.”

You scrunch your face up in disgust, “don’t call me that.”

His eyes move up and down, he looks at your exposed skin and you suddenly regret wearing a low cut shirt.

“Ray Parker, huh?” He smirks, licking his lips, “going for the jocks again? The freak ain’t doing a good job at satisfying you? You know, you can just come to me instead of going for some retired team captain.”

“Jesus, shut up, Billy.”

Billy chuckles, his eyes twinkle with lust as he continues to stare at you, “when will you stop playing hard to get? We both know that you will end up under me at some point.”

If you didn’t feel disgusted by him already, you would definitely be now. Anger rushes through you and you roll your eyes.

“Keep dreaming, Hargrove.”

"Oh, I will."

You clench your jaw as you look into his blue eyes. You hate the cocky look on his face, the self assured expression that he always has. The smirk that he wears. God, you want to punch him.

You go to walk past him and surprisingly, he lets you walk away this time but then he says something that makes your blood boil.

“Yeah be a good girl and run back to the freak, no one else will fuck that loser.”

You halt in your tracks and you clench your fists. You had always been protective over your friends but especially him. Eddie may be good at pretending that the bullying doesn’t get to him, he learned to ignore them or to throw some punchlines back but you are not going to stand by and watch how others degrade and belittle him.

You turn back around and his smirk grows when he notices how angry you look.

“I never thought you’d be into some trailer trash a–”

You never punched someone before but you always wanted to know what it feels like to slam your fist into someone’s face, someone that you can’t stand. You didn’t think that it would hurt so bad but the look on his face and the bruise that he will wear later on, makes it all worth it.

His head snaps to the side and he looks stunned for a moment.

You hear the gasps around you, the chuckles from a few boys.

A part of you expects him to hit you back, you are no stranger to his anger issues. The reaction you get isn’t one that you expected though. He furrows his brows and suddenly he bursts into laughter, his eyes flash with amusement and his pupils dilate even further.

You want to punch him again.

“Shit baby, I’m even more into you now,” he smirks.

A groan of disgust falls from your lips and you turn around to leave before he can do or say anything else.

Eddie and Steve stand there with stunned looks on their faces. Eddie looks impressed and proud, a smirk is tugging at his lips.

Steve’s cheeks are flushed, his eyes are wide and his lips are parted in surprise. Out of all the things he expected to see tonight, this wasn’t one of them. The feeling that rushes through him is intense.

You should have punched him a long time ago.

“That’s kinda hot.”

Eddie snorts at Steve’s words.

Yeah, it was hot.

“Damn, sweetheart,” Eddie whistles, smirking as you walk back to him. He sees the way your eyes flash with confusion when you notice Steve next to him. “I didn’t know you had such a mean right hook.”

You roll your eyes, laughing. You don't even acknowledge him.

“He had that coming.”

Eddie throws his arm around you, he pulls you into his chest and leans down to kiss your cheek sloppily, not caring that your ex boyfriend is staring.

“That’s my girl.”

He wonders what Billy said to you to make you this mad.

“You gonna hit me next, big girl?” Eddie jokes.

You giggle, biting down on your lip, you look into Eddie’s amused eyes, completely dismissing his presence. You pull away from him, he looks at you curiously, eyeing the smugness in your eyes. Before he can react, you reach your arm behind him and slap his ass.

Eddie’s jaw drops at the smack he received, he snorts at your action, squinting his eyes at you, he tries to give you a mean look which only makes you giggle again. You step back when you realize what he’s about to do. Just as he tries to swat your ass, you run off, giggling.

Eddie doesn’t hesitate to run after you, trying to catch you. Your laughter is loud as you run away from him, pushing past the groups of people as you near the forest.

Steve's brows are still raised and his face is still stunned.

Many emotions went through him today; anger, sadness, irritation, jealousy but mostly confusion.

He watches Eddie grabbing you from behind, he hears your squeal and he sees the way Eddie kisses your cheek, again.

He blinks and forces himself to look away, only now noticing how wrong it still feels to see you with him.

But it's not wrong, right?

It's not wrong because you aren't his anymore.

He let go of you because you had asked him to, because he loves her, because he wants to spend his life with her.

He still has love for you, he always will but you are a part of his past now, a past that keeps calling him. The past that keeps haunting him in his mind and in his dreams.

Sometimes when he can't sleep at night, he stares at the telephone on his nightstand and he wonders what it would be like to call you, to hear your voice again, to ask you how you are doing, to ask if you are happy with the life you are living now that you are strangers to each other.

Sometimes he wants to call but he never does. You won't pick up the phone. He is sure of that.

But, if you called, he would pick up the phone, anytime, without hesitation.

tagging friends & mutuals

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @hellfire--cult @screammunson @taintedcigs @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @xxhellfiregirlxx @trashmouth-richie @somethingvicked

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deluluaboutsteve · 8 months

Text

O M G AHHHHHHH 🥹😭

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 9

Warnings: none. just pure fluff and only a sprinkle of angst. no Steve in this one, he will be back in part ten! It's not proofread very well so if you find any mistakes, just ignore it pleaseee

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Your friends surprise you on Christmas night.

Word count: 5.6k

series masterlist

Halloween used to be your favorite holiday, Christmas used to be your second favorite.

Now you can’t stand either of them.

Both days remind you of him.

Halloween reminds you of the heartbreak and the pain.

Christmas reminds you of the happiness and the joy you used to feel when he was still yours.

You used to celebrate it, but now it’s just a day filled with painful memories.

You’re home alone, your mom was supposed to have the day off but an emergency call forced her back to the hospital. Now you sit in the lonesome living room with a box of Christmas cookies on the table. The room smells like pine from the christmas tree, the TV is on, the light of it illuminates the darkness in the room.

You pull the soft blanket higher and lean your head on the pillows behind you. You stare blankly at the screen. It’s been three days since you shared your last day with Steve, you haven’t seen or heard from him ever since. He let go, just like you asked him to.

There is still so much pain but the numbness overweighs it all right now. Minutes and days have passed yet you feel like nothing is moving forward. You are stuck in a vicious loop of self doubt and hopelessness.

A knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts and startles you a little, you sit up and push the blanket off of you. A second knock sounds through the house. Rolling your eyes, you get up from the sofa and leave the living room. You hear voices on the other side of the door and you instantly know who it is.

You open the door and just as you had suspected, you find your friends standing on your porch. Chrissy, Heather and Eddie. You can’t help but feel surprised to see the three of them together.

He is holding a brown bag, you can already smell the fast food. Heather is holding another bag that you can’t help but take a peek into, you see the Christmas themed wrapping paper right away.

Chrissy and Heather greet you as excitedly as always.

“Hey sweetheart,” Eddie grins, waving his fingers at you.

A smile tugs at your lips, you furrow your brows as you look at them.

“Hi, what are you guys doing here?”

You haven’t seen Heather and Chrissy since the night at the dance, they have been busy with Christmas preparations. Eddie was working on Wayne’s car with him and busy writing songs with Jeff and you were busy trying to get over some things. You open the door further and step to the side to let them in.

“To spend Christmas with you,” Heather smiles and moves past you.

Chrissy walks in next, looking at you with a bright smile on her face as she whispers hi again.

“Hi,” you giggle.

“We brought the best Christmas food,” Eddie jokes as he hands you the bag of fast food. He closes the door after he steps inside.

“Benny’s burgers are the best,” you say as you look into the bag. “Aren’t you guys supposed to be with your families?”

“My mom invited a bunch of people over, including the Carver’s,” Chrissy mumbles with a disgusted look on her face, “I sneaked out, she won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Jason Carver is at your house?” Eddie asks, looking just as disgusted as Chrissy does.

“Yeah,” she rolls her eyes.

“I spent Christmas eve with my parents, they told me to spend the day with you,” Heather shrugs and then gives you a stern look, “and why did we have to find out that you’re alone tonight, through him?” She asks, nudging her chin towards Eddie.

“Wait what?”

Eddie chuckles, he wraps his arm around your shoulder and looks down at you, “I ran into your mom this morning, she told me that she was called in for work so I called your girls and here we are.”

Your eyes soften as they lock with his.

You and Eddie have been friends for almost two months now and while you had been spending a lot of time together, there haven’t been any occasions where your friends had joined your hangouts. He had briefly talked to them a few times but that’s all. To know that he had put in the effort into making your night better, calling your friends up to come here, warms your heart.

“You’re the best,” you whisper, “but what about Wayne?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about him, he was called in for work, like your mom.”

Chrissy looks between you and Eddie, a slight frown appears on her face, one that only Heather seems to notice.

“Uh let’s eat!” She says and grabs the bag out of your hands after placing the one with the presents on the ground.

You and Eddie look away from each other. He clears his throat and you turn to look at your friends, Chrissy isn’t smiling anymore, if anything, she looks annoyed, “I’m gonna get some plates,” she says and walks into the kitchen.

“Are we gonna eat in the living room?” Heather asks.

You nod at her and go after Chrissy.

“Are you okay, Chris?” You ask as you step into the kitchen.

“Yeah!” She says as she reaches for the plates in the cupboard, she turns back around with a smile on her face, “why wouldn’t I be?”

You can see the forced smile, the look in her eyes that is anything but happy.

You shrug, “I don’t know, you seem tense,” you say as you open the fridge to get some drinks.

She hesitates for a moment, she stares at the back of your head and shifts on her feet.

“I– it’s just, Jason.”

It’s a lie. You know it is. Heather and Chrissy might have spared you all the details about their love lives because they knew how much you were struggling yourself. Despite you telling them that you are always there for them, they still wanted to protect you from any kind of negativity. Which you hate. You want to be there for them, just like they are always there for you.

“What about him?” You ask and turn around to face her after closing the fridge, “did he do something?”

She shakes her head, “no, he’s just very persistent but it’s nothing new,” she sighs and looks down, “he’s trying to get me to go on a date with him.”

You roll your eyes at her words, you hate Jason Carver. You hate the way he thinks that he can have anything and everything.

“I’ll never understand how some guys won’t take no for an answer,” you mumble, “I could kick his ass for you.”

She giggles, shaking her head.

“Or we could find you a boyfriend who will kick his ass.”

You watch her closely and you can see the way her eyes flash with something unrecognizable. Her smile falls but only for a second, if you weren’t watching her so closely, you wouldn’t have noticed it.

“Are you guys coming?” Heather asks.

“Yeah.”

You nudge your head towards the doorway, “come on.”

As you walk back into the living room, you sense the awkwardness right away. You notice the smug look on Heather’s face and the blush on Eddie’s cheeks. You furrow your brows as you look between them, wondering what she had said to him to make him look so embarrassed.

You look down and place the drinks on the table.

“Well, that’s gonna be the best Christmas dinner ever.”

“This is our turkey and mashed potatoes,” Heather jokes.

Chrissy puts the plates on the table before she sits down on the armchair, crossing her leg over the other.

Eddie scoots closer to the edge, already looking at you. You smile and sit down beside him.

“What did you do after the dance?” Heather asks, looking between you and Eddie, the smug smile still present. She places the burger and fries on the plate, giving you the first one.

You and Eddie glance at each other.

“We went to the diner,” you say as you reach for the plate, muttering a small ‘thank you’.

“Yeah and then we had a movie night and got high together,” Eddie chuckles.

“And what did you do, Heather?” You ask, “when I left, you were with Billy.”

Eddie scrunches his face up in disgust, “Hargrove?” He asks with a judgmental look on his face.

Heather glares at him, “he can be nice.”

Chrissy snorts, “yeah, when he wants something.”

“Maybe he has a soft spot for Heather,” you smirk, wiggling your brows at your best friend.

She rolls her eyes, though the blush on her cheek isn’t hard to miss.

“I still don’t like him,” Chrissy mumbles.

“You don’t like any of the guys we date, Chris.” You joke.

“Yeah, maybe because you choose to date the shittiest guys,” she retorts with a sassy tone.

You raise your brows in surprise while Eddie chuckles, his dark eyes flashing with amusement when he turns to look at you.

“She’s right, Hargrove and Harrington aren’t really the best guys around.”

“There aren’t any best guys around in the first place,” Chrissy mumbles in annoyance before she looks at Eddie, “no offense.”

“None taken,” he chuckles.

You agree with her partly. There are still some good guys around but there are also too many bad ones – Steve might not be a bad person but he sure wasn’t the best boyfriend. You wouldn’t call him a shitty one though – but maybe that’s because you still love him.

You wonder where he is tonight.

Is he with his family?

Is he with her family?

Is he still with her or did he break things off with her after your night together?

Is he – no. Stop it, just stop thinking about him, you tell yourself. You force your mind to think about something else, about someone else.

“I got the best guy around,” you smile and lean your head on Eddie’s shoulder.

Chrissy sighs, her blue eyes are filled with annoyance but only Eddie seems to notice.

You look at Heather, she is furrowing her brows at something Eddie said, she looks confused but she still laughs. You had always been nervous about this. About your friends not getting along with Eddie. You are aware of how he feels about people who are popular and about the things people say about him at school, hell, you remember the way he was so nervous the first few times you spoke to him, he tried to mask it with humor and confidence but you saw right through him. You know that he had been nervous about meeting your friends – two popular cheerleaders who associate with guys like Billy Hargrove and Jason Carver. You were scared that they would hate each other but clearly, you shouldn’t have worried that much, besides, Eddie is not your boyfriend. He is just a friend.

Now as you look at Heather and Eddie, you can’t help but notice the resemblance. They kind of look alike. Her hair is just as dark, long and curly as his. Pale skin. Dark eyes and pouty lips. They look like siblings.

You can feel his eyes on you and you can also feel Chrissy’s eyes on you.

You wonder what she is thinking about. Ever since your breakup with Steve, she has been fiercely protective over you and she gets mad at any guy who even looks your way.

It’s cute. But you are not looking for new relationships any time soon so there is nothing for her to worry about, right?

After your ‘christmas dinner’, you all exchange gifts. Eddie promises to give you his present later. By the blush on his cheeks, you can tell that he is too shy to give it to you now, in front of your friends.

He takes it upon himself to use your polaroid camera to take pictures of you and your friends, not wanting to sit there awkwardly and stare at you as you unwrap the present you got from Chrissy.

He smiles when you squeal in excitement at the new book collection, your eyes light up and you throw your arms around her.

“Psst.”

Eddie lowers the camera after taking a picture of you. He looks over at Heather, who scoots closer to him.

“I see you’re having fun,” she teases with yet another smirk on her face.

Eddie shakes his head and looks down. Something he never thought would happen is him getting along with your friends. He was incredibly nervous when he called them today, he did it for you. He wanted you to have a nice day, a day filled with new memories instead of old ones that will always take you back to someone who hurt you.

Eddie shouldn’t have worried that much. Chrissy and Heather are nice. They didn’t throw him any judgmental looks nor did they snap at him the way other girls from the cheer squad would do. They are nice and they accept him – as your friend.

“Yeah, I’m taking pictures of my friend.”

Heather snorts.

You push all your presents to the side and take a look at all the pictures Eddie took of you with your friends. A small frown appears on your face and you look up at him, “we need a picture together too.”

“You want one?” Eddie asks, smiling.

“Yes!”

“I can take one of you guys,” Heather says with a smug look on her face as she sends yet another smirk at Eddie. You don’t see it and you don’t see the way he huffs as he shakes his head.

You walk towards him. He hands the polaroid camera to Heather.

You and Eddie smile at each other, he holds his arm up and you curl under his arm, placing your hand on his back.

The mischief in Heather’s eyes should be enough of a warning to Eddie but when she tells you both to take a few steps back, he just knows.

“Take another step back,” she says, gesturing you to go back further.

“Just take the picture, Heather!” You say.

“I’m trying to get the best position.”

And the best position is in the doorway.

“Oopsie,” Heather giggles, “look up.”

Mistletoe.

Chrissy rolls her eyes as she looks at you and Eddie. She turns away and begins to gather all the wrapping paper.

You giggle and Eddie snorts, “seriously?” He asks.

Before you can even react, Eddie wraps both arms around you and picks you up, he presses his lips against your cheek, kissing you loudly which only makes you giggle even louder. You wrap your arms around his neck and close your eyes with a smile on your face.

You are not surprised by Eddie’s actions, he was always very affectionate with you. Eddie’s embrace always made you feel safe and secure.

Steve’s embrace felt different, you always loved having his arm around you, you loved it when he hugged you tightly and kissed the top of your head but while you felt at home, he always felt like he wasn’t there. Like his mind was elsewhere. Like he couldn’t relax the way you did when he held you. But as relaxed as you felt, you couldn’t help but worry and tense up a little whenever you noticed his absence.

It’s different with Eddie. He is here and he feels relaxed and it all just feels natural but maybe that’s just because he is a friend. He doesn’t have to worry about the things that Steve worried about and you don’t have to worry about where his head is at. You are friends and your love is platonic – maybe this is what should have been between you and Steve. Platonic love. Maybe things would have been better.

Heather takes the picture and laughs at the two of you.

Eddie lowers you back on the ground. A strand of his hair gets caught in your eyelash and you both giggle. He pulls it away carefully. Neither of you notice the flash going off as Heather takes another picture of the two of you.

Neither of you notice the look on Chrissy’s face as she stares at you, she frowns and her eyes are filled with sadness. Heather turns around with a smile on her face, one that quickly falls when she sees the look on her face. Guilt rushes through her, she knows how she feels.

“Can we go?” Chrissy asks her and pleads with her eyes.

Heather nods.

“Wait what?” You ask as you pull away from Eddie to walk towards her, “you want to go already?”

Chrissy nods. She puts her hand on her neck and forces a smile on her face, “y-yeah, I don’t want to get into trouble with my mom.”

“Oh, right,” you mumble.

You understand it but you know that there is more, something that she doesn’t want to tell you, something that she doesn’t want you to know. You aren’t the only one who noticed it. Eddie noticed it too. Her glances at you, the sad and longing look in her eyes.

You pull her into a hug, she instantly wraps her arms around you.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

You pull away from her to hug Heather, as well.

When they both walk away, Chrissy turns around, she looks at you and for a moment she hesitates. She halts in her tracks and her lips part, the uncertainty in her eyes makes you question her. What is going on with her? You know she wants to say something, you know she wants to talk to you but something always pulls her back. Tonight, it’s the warning look in Heather’s eyes, it’s not a mean look, not at all. But when Chrissy turns to look at Heather, there is a knowing look in both their eyes and that’s when you know for certain, they are hiding something.

Chrissy’s shoulder slump and she turns back to you with a forced smile, “bye.”

You smile weakly, the weird feeling in your chest returns – it’s the same feeling you always got when you felt that Steve was hiding something from you.

“Bye,” you whisper.

You hate it when people keep things from you. It makes you feel left out. Heather and Chrissy are your best friends, you have never kept secrets from each other, never.

But now Chrissy is keeping something from you and Heather is hiding her secret from you.

Does it have something to do with you?

What do they not want you to know?

“Y/n?”

Eddie’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You turn around to see him holding two presents in his hands, a smile pulling at his lips.

The frown on your face melts into a smile, “more presents?”

His dark eyes flash with excitement, he hands you the presents. You grin and bite your lip as you sit down on the couch.

“Which one should I do first?”

He shrugs, “the small one!”

“Okay,” you giggle. You place the bigger present on the table and begin to unwrap the small one. You throw the wrapping paper on the table and stare at the little box. You glance at Eddie through your lashes.

“Open it!”

His excitement makes you smile even more.

You open the box and he watches the way your eyes light up as you reach for the rings.

“Oh my god! They almost look like yours!”

Eddie chuckles, he sits down next to you, “that’s why I got them for you, I know how much you like them.”

“I love them!”

You put one on your pointer finger, another one on your middle finger and you leave the one with the black stone for your left hand, putting it on your ring finger. You wiggle your fingers as you stare at the rings, “they fit perfectly.”

“Give me your hand!” You say as you turn your body towards him. He reaches his hand out to you with a chuckle. You hold your hand up next to his and smile, “look, we’re twinning.”

Eddie leans closer and grabs your hand, “your hand is so tiny,” he says. He presses his palm against yours, smiling at the difference.

“You just have a really big hand,” you chuckle.

You keep your palm pressed against his and look up to see him looking at you. He smiles when your eyes lock. His eyes roam your face and you can’t help but smile at him too.

“You have another one,” he whispers, nudging his head towards the other present.

You blink.

“Yeah,” you whisper and pull your hand away from his. You reach for the present and eye it, wondering what it’s in there. You tear the paper off quickly. You eye the leather with big eyes, “are you kidding me?”

Eddie chuckles at your reaction.

You raise the leather jacket to get a better look at it, “how? Eddie, it's the one I told you about!” You gasp and jump up to put the jacket on.

“Figured it would be a nice present,” he smiles, happily.

“It’s the best!” You squeal and look down at it with, “you shouldn’t have–”

“I wanted to,” Eddie interrupts you and stares at you with a fond smile on his face, “look at you, you’re turning into me.”

You snort at his words. Though, he is right, kind of. After your breakup with Steve, you have slowly pulled away from the things you used to love or thought you loved. You started exploring, a little. New clothes, new colors, new music. Things that Eddie loves, you found a liking towards as well.

You throw your arms around him and hug him tightly.

“Thank you,” you whisper into his neck, “thank you for everything.”

Eddie had been more than a shoulder to lean on, in the past few months. He had been more than just a friend. He is a best friend, not like Chrissy and Heather are though. He is different somehow.

He hugs you tightly, “you’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m glad you like your presents.”

You know that he must’ve used most of his savings to get you the presents, it makes you feel guilty.

You pull back and smile, “I got you something too.”

His brown eyes flash with excitement and curiosity. You pat his shoulder and get up, reaching for his hand, “come on, it’s in my room.”

A playful smirk tugs at his lips and he wiggles his brows suggestively, “oh? A striptease?”

“Shut up!” You laugh and shake your hand as you pull him out of the living room.

He chuckles.

You run up the stairs, holding onto the railing.

“Slow down, cheerleader!”

“Can’t! I’m too excited.”

You rush into your room and turn on the light. You drop his hand and walk towards the present you have left on your dresser.

Eddie eyes you, loving the excitement on your face. He sits down on the bed. You turn around and walk back to him, handing him the present.

He eyes it, he can feel the thin paper, thinking that it’s an envelope, he sends you a teasing look, “is that a love letter?” He winks.

“Yeah,” you joke, “I know it doesn’t look like much but–”

“Hush,” Eddie says, waving you off. He looks down and tears the red paper off. When he sees the tickets, he freezes for a moment. He stares at them for a long minute before he takes them into his hand, he slowly lifts them up.

His eyes are wide and filled with shock, his lips part.

“No fucking way,” he whispers. His heart jumps in his chest as he stares at the Metallica tickets. “You didn’t!”

You clap your hands together and smile, nodding at him.

“You got me concert tickets?” He gasps. He gets up and stares at you with wide eyes. “Metallica concert tickets?”

You giggle at the shocked look on his face.

“Y/n!”

Suddenly, he jumps at you, he picks you up and spins you around, making you squeal again.

“Eddie!” You giggle.

He places you back on the ground and you both stumble forward a little, both laughing. He takes your hands in his, smiling brighter than ever. The happiness and the excitement radiates off of him. “I can’t believe you got me tickets, sweetheart!”

“I had to! They’re coming to Indianapolis! You can take Jeff or Gareth o-or Wayne, of course!”

“Are you kidding?” He asks, squeezing your hand, “I’m taking you, dumbass!”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course!”

Eddie pulls you into another hug, he squeezes you tightly. “Best present ever, sweetheart.”

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

“I am happy,” he whispers.

You didn’t think that your night would go this way, that it would bring you more than the numbness that you have been feeling the past few days. You are thankful for your friends who are always there to make things better.

You are thankful for him.

For the first time, you speak about the night with Steve. You didn’t tell Heather and Chrissy about it. You feel safe telling him about it. Eddie never judged you, as much as he always disliked Steve, he never judged you about anything that had to do with him.

He doesn’t judge you for getting drunk with him, for partying with him, for hugging him and letting him hold you, one last time.

He was the one who pushed you to talk to him, he didn’t expect this but he can’t say that he is surprised. He would have done the same thing if he was in your place.

You love Steve, you always will.

A love like this will never fade away. It makes him sad to see you suffering but letting him go, is for the better. He thinks that you need this. To be by yourself and focus on things that bring you joy, things that won’t hurt you. He can see that you are ready to move on from the past.

The music is playing, you somehow convinced Eddie to listen to The Smiths. Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now is playing. Eddie won’t admit it but he likes the song. You are holding your hand up and stare at the rings he got you. While Eddie thinks about the concert that he will go to soon, you think about what he said, a few days back.

The song stops playing and for a moment, the room is silent.

“Eddie?”

“Yes?”

“I think I’m ready.”

“Ready for what, sweetheart?”

“I’m ready to try new things, I’m ready for a fresh start.”

“What do you say?”

He reads your eyes. There is longing for something more, uncertainty and fear of the future but also excitement.

“I say that ‘85 will be your year, baby,” he smiles.

“Hmm, I say, it will be our year. ‘Cause you and I, we are both snatching that diploma and getting out of here. Got it?”

He chuckles, “got it, ma’am.”

“To ‘85!” You say, holding up your pinky to him.

His eyes flash with amusement, “you’re supposed to drink to it but sure, to ‘85.”

He hooks his pinky around yours and taps your nose with his other hand.

You both laugh and lay your heads back on the carpet. A weird feeling rushes through you, it’s not a bad one. It’s one that tells you that everything will be okay.

“You know what we should do?” You say after a moment of silence.

“What?”

You sit up and you quickly take your jacket off. He stares at you, confused. You jump up and replace the leather jacket with a flannel. You put your hand on your hips and look around for a moment, searching for something.

“What are you looking for?” He chuckles.

“Ah.”

You walk towards your dresser and open the top drawer. Eddie watches as you rummage through the drawer until you finally find what you were looking for. A black hat and a scarf, you throw it at Eddie, “put it on!”

The hat hits him in the chest, it falls to his lap and he looks down, still confused.

“What are we gonna do?”

“We’re gonna have some fun!” You say as you put your own hat on, wrapping a red scarf around your neck and putting on some gloves.

“I hate hats and scarfs,” he frowns as he already wraps the scarf around his neck.

“I know you do, Eddie.”

You walk back to him and reach for the hat, forcing it on his head.

“You’re a menace, sweetheart.”

“Because I don’t want you to catch a cold?”

“Why would I catch a cold?”

“We’re gonna have a snowball fight!” You say, excitedly as you reach for his hands and pull him up. “And then we’re gonna drink hot cocoa and watch some Christmas horror movie.”

You pull him out of your room, “and you can stay over if you want.”

He gasps playfully, “I get to sleep in the queen’s bed?” He asks as he puts his hand on his chest, “a peasant in a queen’s bed? What will the kingdom say about this?”

“Shut up, dork.”

You rush down the stairs and you both put your shoes on hastily before you leave the house. The snow is falling, it’s cold but the air is nice and the silence is welcoming. It’s dark out but the Christmas lights on your porch gleam brightly in the snow.

Eddie doesn’t even waste a second before he hits your back with a snowball.

“Hey!” You laugh as you turn around, “we didn’t even start–”

He throws another one at you but you duck this time and reach for the snow, you form the snow into a ball and throw it at him but he ducks just the way you did. You walk backwards, your boots sink into the snow, making it harder for you to escape him quickly.

Eddie laughs wickedly as he runs towards you with a snowball.

You giggle and turn around, running through the snow in your yard.

“Run little rabbit!” He says with a deep voice.

You lean down and gather some snow, “you’re not playing fair, Eddie!”

He laughs and halts in his tracks, letting you run off.

You turn around and hold the snowball up. He is standing in the snow, smirking at you, waiting for you to hit him first now. Instead of throwing it at him, you run off.

“Oh you wanna play catch?” He chuckles as he watches you run behind the house. He follows you, running after you through the snow, “I hope you know that I hate running!”

He hears your giggle but he can’t see you. He looks around, ducking to see if you are hiding behind the bushes or the trees but you are nowhere to be seen.

“You’re mean–”

The cold snow hits him on his cheek, it was a soft throw but it caught him off guard.

“Oops!”

Eddie snorts, he turns towards you, finally, he sees you behind the big oak tree. He chuckles as he wipes the snow off his cheek, he runs towards you and you squeal in surprise, running into the other direction.

You are both laughing as you run through the snow like little kids. As much as he hates running, he is still faster than you, it doesn’t take him long to catch up with you, when he does, he grabs your waist and pulls you back, picking you up again which only makes you squeal again.

“Got ya!” He whispers in your air and spins you around until he trips on a tree branch under the snow, making you both fall down. His back hits the snow and yours hits his chest but it only makes you laugh harder.

“That’s your definition of a snowball fight, sweetheart?”

You roll off of him, laying down on the snow beside him.

“You started it,” you laugh.

“It was your idea!”

You giggle, you grab some snow and throw it on his chest.

“See! You’re a little menace!” He laughs and does the same to you, making you giggle louder.

You go back and forth that way until you both get tired of it.

He gets up first and reaches for your hands, pulling you up after dusting the snow off of his clothes.

It starts snowing harder than before, large snowflakes fall from the sky and a smile tugs at your lips as you tilt your head up to look at the falling snow.

You forget everything for a moment and he can tell by the look on your face. You look at peace and the smile on your face is genuine, for a moment, you look happy and Eddie can’t help but smile as he watches you.

Neither of you notice how intimate this moment looks. How you stand there chest to chest as you look up and he looks down at you.

You and Eddie are just friends but to an outsider it looks more than that.

To Steve, it looks more than that.

Whatever had dragged him here, quickly forces him to leave again when he sees you with him. When he sees you standing on the same spot where he had kissed you for the very first time – now you stand there with him, with another man.

And despite what happened between the two of you a few nights ago, despite the heartbreak he had already felt, he feels it yet again.

You let him go but can he let you go?

Don't yell at me about the Eddie x reader in this one! This is still a Steve fic!

Tagging friends & mutuals!

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @corrodedseraphine @screammunson @hellfire--cult @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @somethingvicked @take-everything-you-can @taintedcigs

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deluluaboutsteve · 8 months

Text

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 8

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, mentions of weight loss and allusions to an ED, sexual harassment (reader being cornered by a guy & mentions of Billy groping reader in the past), grab some tissues this one is sad

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler

Summary: You spend one last night with Steve.

Word count: 10k

A/N: @mysticmunson thank you as always, angel. you always inspire me so much with your amazing ideas, I love u🤍 — also its mostly proofread but if there are any mistakes…. you didn’t see them!

series masterlist

Steve stares at you with a mixture of hope and curiosity in his eyes. He can’t remember the last time he had seen you on his doorsteps. He knows that you aren’t here for the reasons he hopes for but his heart still holds onto that hope.

You look at him expectedly, your hands are shaking. There’s a snowflake on your eyelash, you wipe it away and blink as you look up at him.

“Y-Yeah, come inside,” he says as he moves to the side. His gaze softens when your eyes flash with uncertainty, you look behind his shoulder.

“Can’t you come outside?”

“Y/n, just come in–”

“Steven, who is it?” You hear his mom say. You hear her footsteps and see her as she walks into the hallway, her eyes widen and a smile appears on her face when her eyes meet yours.

“Y/n!” She smiles excitedly, “come on in, dear. What are you doing out there in the cold?”

You really don’t want to step inside his house but you can’t say no to her and before you can even protest, she pulls you inside and wraps her arms around you, hugging you tightly.

“It’s been so long!” Helen says. She pulls away and places her hands on your shoulders, “look at you – she’s getting more and more beautiful, isn’t she, Steve?” She turns around to face her son with a smile on her face. You look at him with narrowed eyes, he nods.

“Yes she is,” he says.

He is not making any of this easier for you.

“Come inside, we are just about to eat dinner.”

“Oh no, I don’t mean to intrude, I just wanted to–”

“I won’t accept a no and you know you could never intrude, darling,” she says, shaking her head. “Come on, we got so much catching up to do! Take your coat off.”

She looks at you expectedly, she really won’t accept a no. You can’t help but chuckle, you take your coat off and hand it to Steve who holds his hand out.

“Thanks,” you mumble as you look into his eyes.

He smiles.

You look away from him, you fix your hair and smooth down your skirt.

“That’s a beautiful skirt,” Helen gushes, she reaches for your hand and pulls you further into the house.

Steve’s heart flutters when he hears your giggle. He watches you walk into the kitchen with his mom. He can’t help but feel excitement rushing through him at the thought of spending the night with you, he knows that this won’t mean anything and deep down he knows you came to talk about something that won’t leave him with a smile on his face at the end of the night but he can’t help but hold onto the hope that you might want to give him a chance – as silly as the thought is.

He hears his dad saying your name with an excited tone in his voice, when he walks into the kitchen, he finds him hugging you.

They are never this excited to see her. Steve looks down, a feeling of self hatred blooms in his chest.

He ruined everything.

“Are you eating enough, kid? You look like you’ve lost some weight.”

Steve raises his head to look at you, you raise your brows in surprise as you stare at his dad, a nervous laugh falls from your lips.

“Dad,” Steve warns when he notices your discomfort.

His dad looks over your shoulder, waving his son off, he looks back down at you and wraps his arm around your shoulder as he leads you into the dining room.

“Helen is making Lasagna tonight, it’s still your favorite right?”

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

“I’m glad you’re here, who else would I share all the garlic bread with.”

Another laugh falls from your lips and Steve has to close his eyes, he takes a deep breath. All this takes him back to all the Saturday dinners you have spent together.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

He shakes his head and opens his eyes as he looks at the ceiling.

“It’s never too late to fix things, Steve.”

He feels a little startled by his mom’s voice.

“Sometimes it is,” Steve says. “She hates me.”

She sighs and shakes her head at him, “she wouldn’t be here if she hated you–”

“She’s here because you wouldn’t take no for an answer,” Steve mumbles, rolling his eyes. He knows that you came here to talk, not to spend a family dinner with his family.

“Yeah but she came here for you, to talk, I assume?”

Steve shrugs, he hears your voice in the dining room along with his dad’s laughter.

“Not for the reasons I’d hope.”

She raises her brows in questions, she tilts her head and leans her hand against the counter.

“What reasons were you hoping for?”

“A second chance, mom.”

“Well, you won’t get one if you don’t leave that girl of yours first,” she mumbles and reaches for the bowl of salad, pushing it in his hands and giving him a stern look, “you’re behaving like a fool, Steven.”

He closes his eyes again and clenches his jaw. He feels embarrassed.

“You know, you remind me of Harold. He was breaking hearts left and right when he was younger, then he had this amazing girlfriend and guess what he did?”

“He cheated on her,” Steve mumbles, nodding, “you told me this story a thousand times already.”

“Yeah and I’ll tell it a thousand times more. I don’t want you to end up like my brother, Steven. Look at him now, he is old and miserable and hung up on a woman who has been happily married for the past twenty years.”

“I’m not gonna end up like uncle Harold,” Steve sighs.

“You’re on the best way there.” She points her finger at him and gives him a stern look as she leans closer, “you broke that poor girl’s heart – I can see the pain in her eyes and your father is right, she lost weight, she’s not doing well.”

Worry flashes in his eyes and the guilt that has been nagging at him comes rushing back.

“I don’t want either of you to be miserable but I know that you will be if you don’t pull yourself together. She’s an amazing girl, Steve. Someday, she’s gonna try again and she’s gonna meet an amazing man who will give her everything she wants and you’ll regret letting her go.”

Steve frowns. He knows that she is right. There will be someone who will give you the things that he never could but the thought of that makes him want to throw up and break down.

The thought of you falling in love with someone else hurts him. The thought of you getting married to someone else, having kids and living that life without him makes him miserable.

He can see why his mom is so afraid of him becoming like his uncle – he will if he doesn’t make things right.

He snaps himself out of his thoughts when his mom squeezes his shoulder, “if you want her back, you gotta fight for this girl and it won’t happen overnight, Steve.”

She gives him a look of sympathy, one that he doesn’t deserve. It was him who screwed up after all.

“Yeah,” Steve whispers. He turns around and walks away, stepping into the dining room, he places the salad bowl on the large table and glances at you. You’re in the living room, sitting on the couch next to his dad who is showing you his new vinyl collection. He knows that you don’t want to be here, not like this. You are probably already regretting the decision of coming here.

He sees the excited look on your face when you reach for the Fleetwood Mac Vinyl. You instantly begin to gush over the band, his dad chuckles at your excitement.

His parents might not be around a lot but you had always gotten along with them, you were the one who convinced him to stay at home for dinners on the weekends, you were the one who convinced him to spend more time with his dad when he asked him to. Steve was angry at his parents for not being around and he punished them by giving them the cold shoulder when they were at home. You changed that. His relationship with his dad is better than it ever was, thanks to you.

You have done so many good things for him.

He never did anything for you – he didn’t do any good.

As he looks at you, he notices that they are right. You did lose some weight, your face looks thinner and the circles beneath your eyes are visible even through the concealer you are wearing. He feels sick, knowing that he was the one who caused – causes you so much distress.

His dad leads you back into the dining room and Steve straightens up when your eyes lock.

“Take a seat, darling. I’ll go help Helen in the kitchen.” He says, giving you a smile before he turns around and walks back into the kitchen, leaving you and Steve alone in the dining room.

You swallow nervously and clear your throat. Fidgeting with the sleeves of your sweater, you look around.

Steve stares at you, just taking in the sight of you in his house. Steve is convinced that you are the most beautiful girl in the world.

You are nervous, he can tell by the way you are bouncing your knee and playing with the loose string on your sleeve.

“Come here,” he says, gesturing to the chair that he pulls back.

You nod and walk over to him, you sit down and turn your head to look up at him. He sits down beside you. This feels like a deja vu and you don’t know how you feel about it.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper as you break the silence between the two of you.

“What?” He mumbles, looking at you in confusion. “What are you sorry for?”

“I didn’t want to intrude–”

“You could never,” he says, interrupting you. Out of instinct, he places his hand over yours, causing you to freeze, he notices it right away and pulls his hand back, closing his eyes, he sighs, “I’m sorry. I’m just – I’m happy you’re here even though I know you didn’t come here for this.”

“We can talk later.”

He nods, swallowing nervously. He hopes the time will pass slowly tonight.

He notices how calm you are despite the nervousness you are showing. He doesn’t know whether it’s a good or bad sign. The last time you had been together, you ended up kicking him out with tears streaming down your face and now you are calm, peaceful and there isn’t an ounce of anger in your eyes left. What does it mean?

A bad feeling settles in the pit of his stomach, something tells him that this night won’t end well.

“Did you have a nice night?” He asks as he watches your face contort in confusion, “with Eddie, I mean.”

“Oh,” you mumble. His question takes you back to the conversation you had with Eddie, the one about him. “Yeah, we went to the diner and then watched a movie at his place.”

Steve nods, keeping his composure.

“Y-You spent the night with him?”

You know that you don’t have to answer his question, it’s none of his business but you nod anyway and look into his eyes.

“Yeah, sometimes he stays over at my place.”

His heart twists at your words. A sullen look takes over his face. He tastes that bitterness on his tongue. You say you’re just friends but he saw more than friendship between you both when you danced together but maybe it was just his jealousy that tried to make him believe that it’s more than that.

“Oh.”

“How was your night?” You ask as though you care. You don’t want to hear about his night with Nancy. “Did you have fun?”

Steve can see your clenched jaw – you are jealous.

“It was okay.” The night was horrible and he hated every second of it. He didn’t want to be with her, he wanted to be with you.

You stare at each other in silence for a long moment before you break eye contact.

“I’m gonna see if your parents need help–”

“Don’t,” Steve says as he puts his hand on the back of your chair, holding himself back from touching you this time. “You know my mom won’t let you do anything anyway.”

His parents walk into the room seconds later, glancing between the both of you. By the looks on their faces, you can tell that they have been talking about you two in the kitchen. You don’t know what to think or feel but you can’t help but wonder; do they like her?

She puts way too much food on your plate, the way she always does – she ignores your protests.

“Do you want a glass of wine?” John asks you, jokingly of course. He holds the bottle up before he pours some of it into his wife’s glass.

“John,” she chuckles, rolling her eyes. “They’re too young.”

You and Steve glance at each other with narrowed eyes. You have stolen a few bottles of his mom’s favorite wine and you’ve gotten drunk together.. a lot.

“We used to be young too.”

You chuckle at his words and at the sigh that leaves her lips as she sits down across from you, she waves him off.

You would’ve thought that this would be awkward and well, between you and Steve it absolutely is but his parents make it less awkward. It all still feels so natural and it makes you sad.

“Did you go to the dance last night?” Helen asks, reaching for the wine glass before taking a bite of her salad.

You nod, “yeah, it was uh– nice.”

“Who was the lucky guy?” John asks, he glances at Steve with narrowed eyes as he bites into the garlic bread.

Steve sighs.

“I uh, I didn’t actually–”

“Eddie Munson,” Steve mumbles as he grips the fork tightly in his hand.

His mom raises her brows at Steve, her eyes flash with amusement when she sees the very obvious jealousy on his face.

His dad laughs and for a moment, you feel nervous. The Harringtons never seemed like judgmental people, despite the things people say about them but you know how people talk about Eddie and how cursed his last name is thanks to his father.

“Wayne Munson’s boy?” He asks you.

“You know Wayne?” You ask and straighten up in your seat.

“Yeah! We were friends in high school, we didn’t have much in common but he was nice. We didn’t see much of each other after school but I liked him.”

You smile, feeling a little surprised at the revelation.

“You were friends with Eddie’s uncle?” Steve mumbles with confusion on his face that could be easily mistaken with judgment.

His dad leans back, giving him a stern look, “yeah, he was a real friend, son. You’re supposed to know what that is but you don’t put much value on real friendships – or relationships,” he mutters the last bit.

You almost feel bad for Steve, almost.

He deserves this. He deserves all of this and worse, he knows it.

“Is he treating you well?” Helen asks, breaking the awkward silence in the room, “Eddie?”

A nervous chuckle escapes your lips, you can’t help but blush when you feel all eyes on you.

“Oh, we are not dating. Eddie and I are just friends,” you say before you finally take a bite of the Lasagna, hoping that you won’t get asked any more questions about this.

“That’s a shame, I’m sure he is amazing.”

Steve glares at his dad. He feels his blood boiling.

“Oh, he is,” you smile, “he’s very sweet. He drove Steve home the other day.”

His parents look at you in surprise and then turn to look at Steve who tenses up a little.

“When his car broke down.”

Steve turns to look at you and you can’t help but smirk when you see the annoyed look on his face.

“That’s funny,” Helen laughs, “that’s how you and Wayne became friends, right?” She asks her husband who nods at her words. He begins to tell the story about the summer he and Wayne started hanging out.

You listen intently while Steve begins to eat his food. You can sense his irritation, it’s been there ever since he brought about Eddie. He relaxes a little when his mom changes the topic and starts talking about her plans for Christmas this year.

It’s weird for you to sit next to him, to sit at a table with his parents and eat dinner like nothing ever happened. At some point, Steve places his hand on the back of your chair when he is done eating. You don’t think that he realizes that he did, he is too absorbed in a conversation with his dad.

When Helen gets up, you use the opportunity to escape as well, ignoring her protests, you help her clean up the table. You gather all the plates and ignore the looks he gives you. You walk into the kitchen and place the dirty plates next to the sink, you close your eyes and take a deep breath.

All you wanted was to have a conversation, to have him lay all the cards on the table, to finally be completely honest with you. You didn’t want this because this is only making things so much harder.

“Is everything alright?” Helen asks as she walks into the kitchen as well, carrying the dirty dishes over to the sink.

You force a smile on your face and turn around to face her.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You lie.

She doesn’t look convinced. She knows you almost as well as your mom does. She tilts her head and smiles at you, sadly.

“It’s okay to not be okay, y/n.”

She places her hand on your shoulder, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pressured you into this.”

You shake your head, “no, it’s okay! You know I always liked the family dinner’s,” you smile, “and your cooking.”

She smiles warmly but the look in her eyes is one of sadness and sympathy. She knows that you love him, you always showed it and you still do, whether you know it or not. It’s in your eyes, it’s written all over your face. You may be young with a whole life and so many chapters ahead of you but one thing is for certain – there won’t be another love like this, not for you. He was the one for you.

“How are you, y/n?” She asks.

She doesn’t want to hear any lies, she wants to hear the truth.

It’s a genuine question, not just a conversation started or a small check-up. She genuinely wants to know how you really feel. You don’t know why but it makes your heart clench in your chest and the tears that well up in your eyes are inevitable.

You blink, trying to push them away. You don’t want to cry and break down in your ex boyfriend’s kitchen.

You look down when you feel your bottom lip trembling.

“I-I hate this,” you whisper as you continue to blink, hoping that your tears will vanish. “I hate that he did this, I hate that I miss him so much and that I love him even after he broke my heart.”

You feel so pathetic when you break into tears.

“Oh y/n,” she whispers as she pulls you into a hug. She squeezes you tightly and rubs your back. “You will be okay – both of you.” She says and looks over at Steve who stands in the doorway with a guilty and sad look on his face.

It hurts to see you like this, it’s something he will never forgive himself, to know that he was the one who did all of this. To know that he was the one who hurt the girl he loves more than anything else in this world.

When you pull away from the hug and your eyes lock with his, you look a little startled. You quickly wipe your tears away and step back, “I-I’m sorry, I should go.”

Before he or his mom can react, you rush out of the kitchen and into the hallway. You put on your shoes and grab your coat, leaving the house quickly. The air is colder than it was before, the snow is falling peacefully. You sniffle as you wipe your tears away. You knew it was a bad idea to come here. You knew it.

You hear the door shutting behind you as you walk down the driveway.

“Y/n! Wait!”

You don’t turn around, you continue to walk whilst you put your jacket on. You hear his footsteps coming closer, there is no use trying to run from him.

“Wait!” He sighs. He reaches for your hand and pulls you back, he is surprised when you don’t push his hand away. He falls quiet when he looks at your face, you have wiped your tears away but the glassiness in your eyes is still present. “Y/n,” he says, softly.

You hate the sorry look on his face, the soft eyes and the gentle touch of his hand.

“You wanted to talk.”

“Can we do this tomorrow–”

“No,” he shakes his head, holding your hand tighter than before, “let’s do it now, please.”

“I just wanna go home, Steve.”

“Then I’ll drive you home and we can talk in the car.”

You shake your head. You hate that you feel so weak all of the sudden, that you struggle to push his hand away, that you struggle to look away from him. You don’t know what happened but it’s like every strength has left your body and you can no longer push him away from you with that cold front you put up before.

“I want to walk.”

He nods, “okay, then I’ll walk you home.”

“Steve,” you sigh.

“Please,” he whispers, “I won’t let you walk home by yourself anyway. So you either get in the car or you let me walk you home.”

Sighing, you tear your eyes away from his and look down, you nod, “okay, let’s walk then.”

You pull your hand out of his grip and turn around.

The road is illuminated by the street lights, the snow glitters beneath it, it crunches under your boots as you step on it. You’ve done this way too many times before but usually, you would walk hand in hand, you would steal kisses from him and he would pretend to be annoyed, now there is just distance and awkward silence between you both.

At this point, you don’t even know what you wanted to talk about.

You wanted answers but what are the questions?

Why did you fall out of love with me? But wait. He said that he fell out of love with you and the next day he said that he never loved you in the first place and now, two months later, he claims that he lied to you when he said that he never loved you – apparently he still loves you even though he is with her.

Why did you leave me for her?

What does she have that I don’t?

Why did you treat me like shit?

Why are you so good to her?

Why did you fall in love with her when you were supposed to love me?

“Why Nancy?”

Steve furrows his brows and looks at you in confusion.

“What?”

“It’s just, there have been so many girls that threw themselves at you but you never gave them the chance – at least, I hoped you didn’t.”

“I didn’t, y/n.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you mutter under your breath, “you flirted with them and expected me to be okay with it but you would get mad whenever a guy even looked my way.”

If you would have had this conversation with him three months ago, he would have scoffed by now and either start a fight or kiss you to shut you up but now, he just stays calm and he looks at you with guilt in his eyes.

She changed him in just a few weeks.

“I know that it doesn’t mean much anymore but I never wanted any of them, those girls that I flirted with, I couldn’t give a shit about them,” he mumbles, rolling his eyes at his past behavior, “and to be honest, I didn’t do it to keep my reputation or whatever. I– god, that’s gonna sound so bad,” he pauses, he looks up into the sky and takes a deep breath before he looks back down at you, “I did it to see what you would do, I wanted to see if you would get jealous ‘cause sometimes I struggled to believe that you loved me – not that you ever gave me a reason to doubt you, it’s just, some things would just get into my head and I don’t know – you never got jealous, at least, it didn’t seem like you did. You would always be so calm, you rarely ever confronted me about it a-and I guess, I don’t know, I figured that you didn’t love me as much as I love you.”

You choose to ignore his last three words. You don’t know whether to scoff in disbelief or to laugh at his words. He must be joking, you think. But his face is serious and the look in his eyes is filled with nothing but honesty.

“Why would you think that?”

He shrugs, “‘cause I knew how I felt when a guy looked at you a certain way o-or when someone flirted with you – I felt like shit. I got so fucking jealous and angry and it made me want to rip my hair out.”

You can’t help but giggle at his words as you look at the seriousness in his face, “your beloved hair?”

His eyes light up when he hears your laugh, a smile tugs at his lips, “yeah, I’d rip my hair out for you.”

You snort and shake your head as you look back down. He keeps staring at you for a moment before he speaks up again, “but what I’m trying to say is, seeing you with someone else broke my heart–”

“But I wasn’t with anyone else, I was with you and I wanted it to stay that way, Steve.”

“I know, I know,” he mumbles, “I was so insecure and a part of me thought that I was losing you and that hurt and I knew how much it would hurt if I actually lost you, if you left me for someone else – if you broke my heart.”

So he broke yours first.

“Do you remember the party at my place, back in august?”

“Yeah, I remember it.”

Steve clears his throat and you glance at him, a frown takes over his face.

“After I saw you dance with Eddie last night, I remembered something.”

“What did you remember?”

“We got into a fight at that party because of Billy. He was flirting with you.”

Yeah, you remember that very well. You were dancing with your friends when Billy came up behind you, he grabbed your waist and before you could react, he pressed himself up against you. He whispered something in your ear and in that moment, Steve walked back into the room with a drink in his hand. He didn’t bother sticking around to see how you had pushed Billy away or how you slapped his cheek for touching you that way.

You and Steve had gotten into a huge fight that night – one that left you both in tears. He was the one who slammed the door in your face when he pushed you out of his room after you got sick of arguing with each other.

He stayed back in his room to calm down while you went downstairs and planned to go home when you bumped into Eddie. You didn’t realize that you had tears streaming down your face until he had asked you if you were okay. He pulled you into the kitchen, away from all the prying eyes.

Eddie had given you a shoulder to lean on that night. He could have easily ignored you, you weren’t friends, not at that time, at least. But he didn’t, he was there for you. He helped you wipe your tears away, gave you something to drink and managed to cheer you up.

“After we fought, I went downstairs to look for you, I wanted to apologize but then I saw you with him, with Eddie.”

You furrow your brows, “okay, and?”

“You were laughing with him like nothing ever happened, like we didn’t just get into a fight and I think that was the moment I figured that I wasn’t the one for you – ‘cause you were happy and smiling and I was fucking miserable and I couldn’t stand it so I drank until I passed out in the bathroom. I didn’t even remember that Eddie was the one you talked to when I woke up the next day, I just remembered seeing you with some guy.”

It would be a lie if you said that you aren’t shocked. You didn’t know how insecure he was. You always saw him as arrogant, confident and controlling. Not as insecure and scared.

“And uh to get back to your question. Nancy, she’s just, I don’t know,” he trails off.

Your heart begins to beat faster at the mention of her name. It takes you back to the night it all fell apart and to the day when he had confessed to you that he fell in love with her. You remember the pain, you remember all of it.

“You promised me, you told me that you would love me forever.”

“Did you really think that I meant that?”

“I didn’t, I-I’m not even sure if I ever loved you, y/n. I wouldn’t have fallen for her if I did love you, right?”

You can already feel the tears coming, just the memory of it all hurts you. You are scared to hear him tell you why he fell in love with her. Why you weren’t enough for him.

Why is he so speechless? You wonder as you look at him. His brows are furrowed in concentration.

Are there so many things that he loves about her that he doesn’t know where to start?

While you prepare for another heartbreak, Steve tries to think of what made him believe that he could ever love someone else the way he loves you. He didn’t fall in love with her. He never fell out of love with you. You were always the one. It’s simple.

But it’s not simple, because how can he explain any of this to you without sounding like a goddamn liar?

How can he explain to you that he broke your heart because he was scared that you would break his first?

How will he tell you that he only ever thought about you?

How can he look into your eyes and tell you that it made him feel sick to kiss her, to sleep with her and tell her that he loves her when all he ever wanted was you?

“Nancy, she just, she wanted me in the same way you did. My jealousy had gotten out of hand at that point and I was convinced that I was losing you so I uh, I convinced myself that I liked her too. That night at the Halloween party, I got drunk, blackout drunk. I thought it would be easier to break up with you that way.”

His words will hurt you more than he will ever know. Just the thought of him planning to break up with you hurts so bad. While you were lying in bed thinking about him with nothing but love in your heart, he was thinking about leaving you.

And all of this because he was convinced that he was losing you?

You never gave him a reason to think that. He had all your attention, your devotion, your love, your heart. He had it all. You gave him absolutely everything. You understand the insecurities and the jealousy and a part of you wants to believe his words but the other part can’t.

He loves her.

He changed for her not for you.

And now that he has changed, he must feel guilty for the way he treated you, for the things he said to you, for the way he broke your heart. He wants to make things better, he wants to make it up to you, to take your pain away.

He said that he had to convince himself that he loved her, now he is doing the same with you.

You are not angry at him, not anymore.

You are just hurt and heartbroken.

You love him and you always will.

Suddenly, you feel numb when you realize that he is still with her.

If he loves you then why is he still with her?

It was easy for him to leave you.

“Y/n?”

You hate this feeling. The numbness. You want it gone.

“Hey, y/n.” Steve says softly as he places his hand on your shoulder, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You blink and halt in your tracks, you were so wrapped up in your mind, you didn’t even notice that you were already in front of your house.You look at his hand before you look up at him. His hazel eyes are filled with worry.

“Are you okay?”

No. Of course you are not okay.

Your attention strays away from him when you hear the loud music from the house down the street. Jimmy Davidson is home for the holidays, his parents are gone this weekend, he already invited you to his ‘pre christmas party’.

An idea crosses your mind, you will probably come to regret it but right now, you don’t care.

“Hey, do you remember Jimmy, you know that super intimidating looking guy who’s actually really nice?”

Steve looks confused, his eyebrows are drawn together and he tilts his head at your question.

“Uh yeah, he was on the football team– why are we talking about him again?”

You hold your hand up and point your finger into the direction of his house, “he’s throwing a party, do you wanna go?”

He looks taken aback and still confused. You want to go to a party with him?

“I need a drink,” you mumble, “or two.”

Steve doesn’t know if that is a good idea and he doesn’t understand how you went from hating him to wanting a conversation with him to wanting to party with him but it’s not like he would say no to you. He will take any opportunity to spend time with you these days.

He looks down at you. You are waiting for him to say something. You have that look in your eyes that he always loved so much, the one you gave him when you wanted something.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

He wishes he could see the smile that you used to give him but instead he gets a nod before you turn around. He follows you, suddenly feeling the giddiness that he hasn’t felt in a long time. He is excited to spend time with you.

Two nights ago, he got drunk at a bar, thinking that he lost you forever. Now you are walking down the street together, your hand brushes against his and he fights the urge to just grab it.

While Steve feels hopeful, thinking that this could lead to a second chance. You feel sad because you know that this will be the last time.

You keep telling yourself that you have let go of him but you haven’t fully let go. You don’t just miss him as your boyfriend, you also miss him as your friend.

The music in Jimmy’s house is loud, you are surprised that the cops haven’t been called yet. The smell of liquor is strong. The hallway is crowded with groups of teenagers, you take a peek into the living room, it’s even more crowded. Jimmy kept his popularity going, even after leaving Hawkins for college.

You and Steve take your jackets off, he takes yours from your hand and hangs it up on the rack. You pull at your sleeves and step closer to him without realizing it.

“Yo, y/n!”

You turn your head to see Jimmy walking towards you and Steve, a red solo cup is in his hand. You can’t help but laugh when you see the ugly Christmas sweater and the Santa hat that he is wearing. He really stuck to the theme.

His eyes flash with surprise when he sees Steve.

“Harrington! Long time no see, man! How’s it going?” He asks and greets him with a handshake.

Steve smiles, “hey man.”

“I didn’t know you were still together,” he says as he points between the two of you.

“Oh, we aren’t–”

“Jimmy! Let’s go, man!” Some guy yells, waving him over, “I’m losing here!” He throws his hands up as he holds the ping pong in his hand.

“I’m coming!” Jimmy yells back causing you to cringe at the volume of his voice. He turns back to you, “get yourself some drinks, guys. We’ll catch up later!” He says to Steve before he looks at you and winks, “don’t have too much fun, lovebirds.”

Steve scratches the back of his neck while you roll your eyes.

You look at each other awkwardly at first but when another guy with a similar Christmas sweater as Jimmy walks past you, you can’t help but laugh as you share a glance.

You make your way into the kitchen. Steve follows close behind. You both notice the few curious glances that get thrown your way. You don’t recognize many people but there are definitely a few from Hawkins High around. You just hope that Heather and Chrissy aren’t here tonight.

Steve places his hand on the small of your back when you both walk into the kitchen. Your eyes land on the bottle on the counter, you instantly reach for the tequila bottle but before you can even think about pouring it into one of the small solo cups, Steve grabs your hand, stopping you.

Furrowing your brows, you look up at him.

“Are you sure about this?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you mumble, “we can just, I don’t know, we can just forget everything for tonight.”

Steve is surprised to hear these words coming from your mouth.

“We can just have fun, just like old times, when we were friends.”

He can hear the shakiness in your voice, he can see the vulnerability in your eyes that you have been hiding all this time. You were pretending to be okay after the breakup, you gave him the cold shoulder and acted like you moved on but you never did, he realized that after he tried to kiss you.

You never moved on and you are not as strong as you pretend to be. You are breaking a little more, everyday.

Just one last time. You think to yourself as you look into his eyes.

He nods, “yeah, okay.”

He reaches for the bottle in your hand, he grabs the cups and fills them with tequila. You both down the liquid in one go, cringing at the strong taste. Steve wipes his mouth, “god, that’s disgusting,” he mumbles.

You nod in agreement but reach for the bottle nonetheless, ignoring his disapproving look when you fill the cups again.

“You should take it slow–”

You shake your head, “no, I wanna get drunk.”

“Jesus,” he mumbles, knowing that you want to get rid of this awkwardness between the two of you by getting alcohol into your system. “Okay.” This isn’t a good idea, he knows it isn’t. This will only complicate things even more, yet he joins you and downs the second one as well.

You look into his eyes, it’s something you have always avoided since the breakup but now you look at him, you truly look at him and you get lost in his eyes. You feel the ache in your chest, the one that will never fade away.

You will never know how much he regrets it, how guilty he feels when he sees the pain in your eyes, the love that is still there. How could he be so stupid? How could he ever think that you would hurt him?

If he could turn back time, this would have never happened.

He could’ve pulled you into his arms right now, he would’ve kissed you and told you that he loves you.

You look down and lick your lips, you place the cup on the counter.

The house is filled with people, you hear different voices, laughter and loud music. You notice the stares and the curious glances. You feel someone brushing past you. Yet, it’s just you and him, right now.

“Come on,” he says as he holds his hand out for you, “let’s dance, like old times, right?”

You stare at his hand for a long moment before you decide to take it.

You don’t know how happy he is to feel your touch.

He doesn’t know how painful it is to you.

He leads you out of the kitchen, keeping a tight grip on your hand. He greets a few people from school, waving and smiling at some guys. You are just focused on his touch and the way it’s making you feel.

The way it makes your heartbeat speed up and the way it makes it hurt so horribly at the same time.

“Hey Steve, y/n!”

You both turn around, a guy from the basketball team is waving at you, “wanna play beer pong?”

Steve looks down at you and you shrug, “sure.”

It seems as though this night is full of bad ideas. First, you ended up on his doorsteps after telling him to leave you alone, then, you asked him to go to a party with you and now you are about to get plastered with the guy you shouldn’t even look at anymore.

But if there is anything that will kill this awkward tension between you two then it’s a game of beer pong and the two drunk jocks with the Santa hats.

The dining room is filled with people, just like the rest of the house. It smells like weed and beer in here – you could use some weed right now.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks as he leans closer. The smell of his cologne drives you insane.

He scans your face, he looks into your eyes and eyes the line between your eyebrows, he notes the tension, he wants to take it away so bad. A strand of hair falls in front of your face and before he can stop himself, he reaches out to tuck it behind your ear. You don’t move away, not this time.

You feel so stupid, so weak and pathetic for savoring the touch of the man who hurt you so badly.

The tension, the bad thoughts and the worries leave your mind after winning the first round of beer pong.

A few drinks in and all your sadness and the heartbreak is forgotten, temporarily.

Both of you forget everything.

Tonight, it’s just the two of you.

You both get drunker and drunker and more comfortable with each other with each round you win.

By the time you actually make it to the dance floor, you are both wasted. Stumbling and bumping into each other. Though you still keep the distance between you two. Your hands brush against each other and he ends up taking the risk and hooking his pinky around yours which you don’t seem to mind.

Steve feels the urge to do more, to wrap his arms around you and hold you. His heart longs for you, all of him longs for you. He gets so lost in your eyes, in you. He doesn’t notice anything around him, he only sees you.

You joke around like you used to, you hold onto each other like you used to, you smile and laugh and for the first time in a long time, you are both happy.

And of course, Billy Hargrove is the one who sees you two together. He smirks when he sees the way Steve looks at you, when he notices his hand sliding down your body, stopping just on the small of your back to pull you closer and to his surprise, you don’t even seem to mind. You must be drunk or on drugs, Billy thinks. There is no way you would let him touch you that way otherwise.

“Well, well, well.”

Billy raises his brows and glances down at the redhead by his side.

“Looks like the queen and king are back together.”

“Oh no, he is still with Nancy. They're sneaking around,” Tommy says as he leans against the wall next to him.

“Well what do they say about cheaters?” Carol smirks as she looks at the way Steve leans closer to you to whisper something in your ear.

“Once a cheater, always a cheater,” Tommy chuckles.

Billy takes a sip of his beer and shakes his head, “I thought she’s smarter than that.”

Carol and Tommy laugh at his words, “what’d you expect? She was always in love with him.”

“Yeah, poor little thing always followed him around like some lost puppy,” Carol mocks, twirling her hair with her finger. “I wish Nancy was here so she could see this,” she smirks as she watches Steve lead you away.

Steve plops down on the sofa and pulls you down with him. You lean your shoulder against his. Your head is spinning and your mouth feels dry.

“I haven’t had this much fun in a long time,” Steve says, he looks down at you. A fond expression takes over his face. Your hair is messy and your pupils are blown, you are breathing heavily, a small smile is pulling at your lips when you tilt your head to meet his eyes.

“Me neither.”

Steve smiles at you. His hand brushes against yours, the feeling of your skin against his makes his heart flutter in his chest. When he goes to wrap his hand around yours, to intertwine his fingers with yours, you seem to snap out of your trance. You break eye contact and cough as you straighten up.

Something about the way he looked at you made you sober up a little.

“I-I’m gonna go drink some water,” you mutter and push yourself up, “do you want something?”

He shakes his head.

He knows better than to follow you, he knows when you need space and right now, you need it, even if just for a moment. He watches you walk away, smiling when you look over your shoulder to glance at him.

He leans back against the soft cushions and looks around the crowded room. Right now, he feels content. You were an unexpected surprise this evening and he can’t help but bask in the feeling of being with you again.

Three nights ago, he thought he lost you forever but here you are, back with him.

Though he can’t shake the feeling that something is off about this night, he chooses to ignore it, not wanting to ruin it sooner than necessary.

A few minutes pass and there is no sight of you, he runs his fingers through his messy hair. He leans his elbows on his knees and looks around. He stares at the doorway, waiting for you to come through but you don’t.

He gets up and his stomach churns a little. He definitely drank way too much.

He pushes past a group of drunken boys and steps into the crowded hallway. A couple is making out against the wall, a girl is crying to her friends, a group of jocks are sitting on the stairs, laughing loudly.

He walks into the kitchen, the sight he is met with makes him freeze on the spot. You are standing with your back pressed against the kitchen island, a guy is towering over you. He is much taller than you, his shoulders are broad, it’s clear that he is working out.

His first reaction is to tense up and clench his jaw in anger. The sight of him smirking down at you makes his blood boil.

He sobers up quickly when he notices how tense you are, how your hands grip the counter tightly as you press yourself further against the counter to get away from him. You are uncomfortable and flinch away when he reaches out to touch your face.

All the jealousy fades away and anger takes over instead. He doesn’t hesitate to walk over and push the guy away from you. Your eyes are wide and filled with fear, you look at Steve and he instantly grabs your hand and pushes you behind him.

“Stay away from my girl.” He spits without even thinking.

The guy looks startled at first but he quickly relaxes and laughs. He looks Steve up and down before his attention goes back to you.

“Shit, I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.”

Steve can feel how scared you are, you grip his hand tightly with your shaky one and it only makes his anger worse.

“Even if she didn’t, you had no right to touch her like that, you fucking asshole.”

Your heartbeat picks up, fear rushes through you. You always hated when he got into fights.

The guy still looks at you, he eyes you up and down and it makes you shudder. It’s not the first time he’d done it.

“Steve.”

Steve is glaring at the guy in front of him, the urge to throw a punch is strong – a few months ago, he would’ve done it but protecting you and making sure that you feel comfortable is more important to him now.

“Sorry man, won’t happen again” he says but there is clearly no meaning behind his words, he chuckles and gives you both a mocking smile before he turns around to leave.

Steve takes a step forward to follow him but you pull him back, “please don’t.” You hold his hand even tighter and step in front of him.You are sober now and so is he. The night is over, almost. His hazel eyes are darker than usual, he looks mad. “Can we just go, please? I wanna go home.”

Your words and the panicked look on your face take him back to the night at the Halloween party – the way you begged for him to go home with you not knowing that moments later, he would break your heart.

You wear that same look on your face you did that night.

His eyes soften and his shoulders slump. He is not ready for this night to end but he nods. “Yeah, let’s go.”

He keeps on holding your hand and you don’t fight him. Your hand is still shaky. You are nervous and scared.

He only lets your hand go to help you put on your coat. You open the door and step out with your hands tucked in your pockets. His face falls a little but he doesn’t say anything. He follows you out and puts his jacket on once he’s outside. He shuts the door and just like that, it’s all back to the way it was before.

But he doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want things to go back to the way they were before. He wants to keep you but he feels you slipping through his fingers just like you felt him slipping through your fingers, two months ago.

The snow is falling quietly and as you get further away from the party, you can hear the music less and less, only the silence of the night and your footsteps are heard.

“Are you okay?”

“What?”

“Are you okay after what happened in there?” He asks, “h-he didn’t do worse did he?”

“Oh,” you whisper and shake your head, “no – I mean, yes I’m okay and no, he didn’t do worse. I’m kinda used to it, it’s not the first time he did this.”

“Wait what?” He asks as the anger comes rushing back in.

You shrug, a sour expression appears on your face, “I mean, I haven’t seen him since Heather’s party back in september–”

“Back in– what? Y/n, that’s when we were still together! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d care,” you mumble, “you were always focused on those girls and picking fights about stuff that wasn’t real so..”

He feels a flash of irritation and anger but also guilt and sadness. He made you think that he didn’t care about your safety and your wellbeing.

“Of course, I’d care.”

He hates the shift of energy between you two. He wants to go back to the party, he wants to live inside that bubble again, the one where you still like him.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.” He whispers knowing that you might not want to hear his apology. “I failed you, I failed us.” He thinks about his mother’s words, how she told him to fight for you and he wants to so bad but he doesn’t know how.

You stop in front of your house, the moment you have been dreading all night is finally here.

“It’s okay, Steve,” you whisper, “I’m not angry at you anymore.”

You look at the way his expression changes.

“You’re not?”

By the tone of his voice, you know that he thinks that this must be a good sign.

You shake your head. The bile thickens in your throat and you already feel sick.

“No, I’m not.”

You are calm, your voice is soft and quiet and the look in your eyes makes him nervous. He stays silent for a moment. You stand beneath the night sky, the snow is falling and it reminds him of the night you have kissed for the first time, right here.

“I-I understand it now.”

He doesn’t know why but he can feel the fear rushing through him, that pit growing in his stomach.

“What do you understand?”

“Everything,” you whisper, “I wanted the truth and the other day you said that you weren't honest with me back then but you were. You really did leave me because you fell in love with her just like you had told me back then.”

He frowns at your words, he steps closer to you and he shakes his head.

Your eyes well up with tears, your bottom lip begins to quiver.

“And I-I think that you really love her because you wouldn’t have left me if you didn’t – no matter how scared you are, you don’t leave the person that you love for someone else, you don’t hurt the person you love. You would rather have your heart broken than break their heart,” you say as tears stream down your cheeks, “it was so easy for you to leave me but you can’t leave her, you are still with her because you can’t and you don't want to break her heart so that must mean something."

He shakes his head, “no,” he whispers.

“It’s okay, Steve,” you whisper, brokenly. You look down and the tears slip from your face and down into the snow, “you changed a-and I can tell that you are trying to do better and that you want to make it up to me b-but I don’t want it, I don’t want you to think that you owe me anything. I-I just want you to know that it’s okay. You don’t have to feel bad or guilty.”

He shakes his head again but he can’t form any words. His heart is racing in his chest, the fear is holding him tightly. His vision blurs, he can’t stand to see you cry.

“I love you, Steve and I think that I always will but we have to let each other go.”

His eyes widen with panic and he finally snaps out of it, he cups your cheeks and pulls you closer, “I love you too, y/n! I love you. I will leave her, I will!”

You shake your head, you raise your hands and grab his wrists as you look into his eyes.

You are both crying and it hurts so bad. It feels like your heart is being ripped apart.

“She is the one for you. You should be with her. I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”

Steve wants to say that you make him happy, that you are the one for him, that you are the one he loves but his words are strangled in his throat. Tears roll down his cheeks and his chest aches. He can see the pain in your eyes and the way you are suffering because of him.

He shakes his head, he is shaking, he is on the verge of breaking down, of falling to his knees and begging for a second chance. He leans his forehead against yours. He whispers your name so brokenly it makes you cry even harder.

“It’s okay, Steve,” you whisper and cup his cheeks, “I promise, it’s okay.”

He feels the warmth of your touch and the sound of your voice that makes his heart ache. He doesn’t want this to end, he doesn’t want to let you go, he doesn’t want to lose you.

“You can let me go, it’s okay. You don’t have to feel bad anymore.”

Steve feels like his chest is being ripped open, like his heart is getting torn out of his body.

You wrap your arms around him and lay your head on his chest, wanting to feel the warmth of his body, one last time. He doesn’t hesitate to pull you even tighter against him. He holds onto you for dear life, he buries his face in your neck, he breathes in your sweet scent.

Your broken heart is breaking more and more.

You close your eyes and you let yourself feel him, one last time.

You wish you wouldn’t have to do this.

You wish you could live in a world where he loves you, where you wouldn’t have to say goodbye.

You thought that it couldn’t get any worse after he dumped you and after he tried to kiss you but this is so much worse.

This is goodbye.

You stand beneath the falling snow just this time, he won’t pull you in for a first kiss, he won’t make you smile, he won’t pull you back for one more kiss before you walk into your house but he pulls you in for another hug when you try to walk away from him and this time, he holds you even tighter.

He wants to fight for you but how can he when you don’t want him to?

It hurts to hear him cry and it hurts to feel him hold you so tightly and it will hurt even more when you will see him with her again.

As much as it hurts, as much as you don’t want it, as wrong as it feels – you step away from him and you look at him, one last time. You can’t stand the tears that run down his cheeks. His large sad eyes will haunt you for the rest of your life.

You step away from him and it makes him cry even harder.

You have to go.

You need to go.

“Goodbye, Steve.”

He looks crestfallen and broken and it takes everything in you to turn away from him. You clutch your chest and walk away. You can hear his sniffles and before your heart can convince you to turn back around, you unlock the door and step inside. You shut it and press your back against the door. Finally, you let the sob break free as you fall to the ground. You bury your face in your hands and you cry, once again.

Now it’s truly over.

It’s all over and you don't even know that you are the one who is still holding his heart.

That you will always be the one.

tagging friends & mutuals

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @screammunson @hellfire--cult @taintedcigs @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @somethingvicked @nemesis729

1K notes · View notes

deluluaboutsteve · 8 months

Text

AHHHHHHH

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 7

Warnings: slight angst, reader and Eddie getting high together, mentions of cheating and break up's, mentions of bullying, reader and eddie are really affectionate with each other but it’s all platonic. mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of Eddie's abusive dad

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler

Summary: Eddie tells you about the night he found Steve at the hideout.

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: well, I finally figured out how to make headers, let’s see if I will keep doing them haha

masterlist

The room smells like hot chocolate, cinnamon and a hint of Eddie’s cologne. The mug on the table that was filled to the brim is now halfway empty. A box of Christmas cookies that your mom gave him when he came by last night is in between the two of you. He hasn’t stopped munching on them since you started the movie; Halloween.

You couldn’t choose between Friday the 13th and Halloween so you let him pick.

After you let your friends know that you were leaving, you and Eddie went to the diner to eat something before you went back to his trailer after renting a few movies at Family Video.

“I can’t believe that this is your favorite movie,” Eddie says as he bites into the snowflake shaped cookie.

You turn to look at him. He is still wearing the same clothes as before just like you.

“Are you judging me?” You snort, swatting his arm. “You literally picked it.”

He chuckles and looks at you with a smirk, “I picked between the ones you chose.”

“You literally said that Halloween is one of your favorite movies!”

He shrugs, chewing the cookie before he speaks up again, “maybe I lied.”

You roll your eyes and lean back, “so what’s your favorite movie then, master of dungeons?”

The nickname makes him chuckle, he turns his head away from the screen, “Halloween.”

He laughs when you shake your head in disbelief, grabbing one of the pillows, you hit him with it, causing him to laugh harder.

“Dork.”

He snorts at you, “dork? What happened with the master of dungeons?”

You lean closer to him and look into his eyes with a serious look on your face, “he turned into a massive dork.”

“If I’m a dork then what are you?”

“A fairy witch,” you wink at him and reach for one of the cookies before you lean back.

His eyes flash with amusement, his lips curl into a smile, “right,” he laughs, “is the fairy witch gonna stay over tonight?”

You face him again, the cookie is still in your hand. There’s a knowing look in his eyes.

He knows your mom won’t be home tonight, she is working the night shifts this week and won’t be home until the morning. If there is one thing that Eddie had learned about you in the time you had become friends, is that you hate going to sleep when you are home alone, he doesn’t know why but he noticed your anxiety early on. He saw the tired look in your eyes in the mornings and he noticed how easily you would drift off to sleep when he came by after school to study. You would make up excuses when he’d ask you about it but he could see through you.

He doesn’t know the reasoning behind your fears but he understands it. When he was a kid, he was restless, he struggled to sleep at nights because of his dad, who usually came home late after spending the night drinking or doing drugs. Whenever Eddie would hear the front door opening, his heart would start racing and he would be on high alert – his dad always picked fights with his mom and all Eddie ever wanted to do was to protect her. But he was just a kid and his dad was a violent man.

Eddie couldn’t protect her.

When he moved in with Wayne, nothing changed for the first few months. He kept staying up at nights – the anxiety and the fear that always lingered kept him up. Whenever he would fall asleep, nightmares would wake him up. He would hear the trailer door being slammed open, he would hear his mom screaming, his dad yelling and hitting things. Eddie would wake in cold sweat, he would jump up from the bed and run out of the room to stop his dad from hitting her only to realize that the trailer door never opened, his dad never came in and his mom would never be there again.

He knows that you are struggling with something too but he would never push you to talk. He just wants to protect you.

“We could watch Friday the 13th and y’know, share a joint.”

You swallow.

“You don’t mind me staying over?”

Eddie frowns at your question and shakes his head, “why would I ask if I minded you staying over? You know you’re always welcome here, sweetheart.”

You smile at his words. Eddie always knows how to make you feel safe and comfortable. Heather and Chrissy make you feel that way too but it’s different with them. You love and appreciate them but there are things that you can’t say to them – not because you don’t trust them but because you wouldn’t be able to deal with their pitiful looks, it’s been bad enough already after he dumped you.

You aren’t the only one who refuses to speak about certain things. You know that Chrissy has a secret, one that Heather is keeping safe from you. It hurts a little because a part of you is scared that it might have something to do with you. Why else would they keep a secret from their best friend?

“Then I’d love to stay the night.”

He smiles, “cool.”

After you finish watching the movie, you carry the empty mugs and the box of cookies back into the kitchen. Eddie turns off the TV and reaches for the other movie tape before he leads you into his room. He turns on the small lamp on his nightstand and throws the tape on his bed. He walks over to his dresser and opens the top drawer.

“You know, the joint you mentioned earlier…” you mumble as you let yourself fall on his bed, curiously staring at the handcuffs that remain a mystery to you.

“You know, they should be calling you ‘the stoner’, not me,” he snorts. He turns back to you and hands you a shirt, he eyes you up and down, “here, that dress is pretty but it can’t be comfortable to sleep in,” he laughs.

“How kind of you,” you chuckle. You unfold the shirt, your eyes widen a little, “isn’t that your favorite one?”

He nods as he takes the chain around his neck off and places it on his nightstand.

“My favorite girl gets my favorite shirt,” he says, ruffling your hair as he winks at you.

You swat his hand away and laugh, “how many girls do you say that to, Eddie?”

He raises his brows and places his hand on his chest, “you think I’m bringing home girls? Did you forget who I am?” He laughs, shaking his head.

You furrow your brows. You drop the shirt on your lap and tilt your head to look at him.

You and Eddie haven’t been friends for long but you feel comfortable with each other – comfortable enough for him to take his shirt off in front of you. He throws it over his chair, he stands there shirtless for a second, scratching the spot around his new tattoo. He is just your friend but you are not blind, Eddie is pretty in a way no other guy at school is – except for Steve.

“You’re saying that you don’t bring any girls home?” You ask as you carefully pull the straps of your dress down your arms before you put the shirt on. Too lazy to get up and change in the bathroom, you take the dress off after pulling the shirt down to your thighs.

He puts on a black tank top and closes the drawer. “And no, I don’t bring any girls home. I’m a freak, nobody wants me.”

“Don’t say that,” you frown.

“Well, it’s the truth,” he chuckles as he drops down on the bed beside you after getting the pre rolled joint and a lighter, “girls don’t want me and honestly, I don’t care. I wouldn’t want to bring random girls home anyways.”

You raise your brows in surprise, it makes him chuckle but his eyes flash with confusion.

“What?”

“You actually wouldn’t bring home girls?” You ask. “Like, not even if they were throwing themselves at you?”

“You mean if I was popular?” He snorts.

You nod.

He shakes his head, he scoots closer to you and offers you the joint. You take it in between your fingers and bring it up towards your mouth, wrapping your lips around it, you look at him expectedly, nudging your chin towards the lighter in his hand. He holds it up to the joint and flicks the lighter, holding the flame against the bud of the joint. You inhale and close your eyes.

Eddie chuckles and pats your back when you open your eyes and exhale the smoke without coughing this time.

“Like a real stoner.”

“Shut up,” you chuckle and offer him the joint which he takes right away. He places it in between his lips and lies back, tucking his arm behind the pillow. He looks up at the ceiling and sighs after exhaling the smoke. For a moment, it’s silent between the two of you.

You stand up and place your dress over the back of his chair after folding it. You turn on the TV before you plop back down on the bed.

“I won’t lie to you, I’ve hooked up with uh – maybe three girls but they didn’t bother sticking around, they wouldn’t even look at me afterwards, they looked disgusted, every single one of them. I-I don’t know what I was thinking, I was hoping that it would be different each time but they were the same, all of them. The sex was good but uh I honestly don’t see the point of it if they don’t bother sticking around or if there’s no actual meaning behind it.”

Your heart breaks for him. You can imagine what he must have felt like when they treated him that way. You can see the sadness in his eyes, even when he tries to mask it.

You scoot closer to him and reach for his hand, his eyes meet yours and he smiles at you.

“You deserve better Eddie,” you whisper, squeezing his hand. “They were stupid cunts.”

A laugh falls from his lips, he tries to mask the hurt in his eyes with amusement but you can see through him, just like he can see through you.

“You know, Steve wouldn’t look at me either, sometimes. He just uh, he would fuck me, he would finish and then he would pass out. He rarely ever held me or kissed me, he almost never said ‘I love you’ either.”

Eddie frowns at your words. He isn’t shocked but he is angry.

“It hurt so bad because I loved him so much and all I wanted was for him to just hold me and tell me that he loves me but he didn’t and it made me overthinking everything,” you mumble as you blink the tears away, “and then there was Tommy who always said how men need new partners all the time, how they get bored with their girlfriends and I was praying that that wasn’t the case for Steve, that the reason why he never held me or kissed me was because he was just bad at being affectionate and romantic but then he agreed with what he said even though I was right there and it uh, it hurt, really fucking bad. I kinda lied to myself though, I kept telling myself that he did love me, that he didn’t get bored with me but then he left me for her and he changed for her so uh, I figured that Tommy was right all along.”

Eddie scoffs, he shakes his head at your words, “that’s not true, sweetheart.”

“It’s not?” You ask as you look back up at him.

“No. Tommy is a shittalker and Steve is an idiot – like a real idiot,” Eddie says as his eyes widen. He laughs a little, it’s a humorless laugh but a laugh nonetheless. “He was a piece of shit for not treating you the way you deserve to be treated but I think that he is one of those guys who lets his friends words get to him, who feels pressured to keep his reputation as some fucking heartbreak King rather than be a good boyfriend.” He looks like he knows something that you don’t. “He’s also the type of guy who doesn’t know what he has until it’s gone.”

“That makes sense,” you say even though you are not sure whether it actually makes sense or not. He almost kissed you and then he told you that he still loves you, that he always loved you only to show up to the dance with Nancy, like nothing ever happened.

Eddie stares at you. Your brows are furrowed and you have that same confused and lost look in your eyes that you always have whenever you get lost in your thoughts.

“Hey uh, I should probably tell you something,” he says as he sits up. He scratches the back of his neck and offers you the joint. You take it but don’t smoke it yet.

“What’s up?”

He runs his fingers through his curls and he takes a deep breath, “I drove him home last night.”

“Huh?”

He sighs, “Steve. I drove him home last night. I went to the Hideout to get my notebook and he was there getting plastered. He followed me outside and started asking about the jacket,” he mumbles, pointing to the jacket that is now back in his room again. “He got all pissed and jealous.”

You roll your eyes and scoff at his words.

“He calmed down when I told him we’re friends but uh, he tried to leave and I would’ve felt awful letting him drive home like that so I drove him home.”

A smile tugs at your lips, Eddie’s kindness is something that always warms your heart. To know that he is showing such kindness to people who don’t deserve it just proves even more how amazing he is.

“He started crying.”

A shocked expression takes over your face and you draw back a little, “what?”

“Yeah,” Eddie chuckles as he shakes his head. “He uh– well, first he insulted my music taste and then I turned on the radio for him, David Bowie came on and boom, I have a sobbing King Steve in my van.”

“Oh,” you whisper, your gaze softens. “David Bowie?”

“Mhmm.” He reaches for the joint again and places it between his lips, taking a drag before he places it into the ashtray on his nightstand. “Heroes.”

Your lips part and your face falls. It was your song. Yours and his. To know that it has such a hold on him still, makes you feel things that you want to keep buried.

You push yourself up and sit in front of him, “then what?”

Eddie’s brown eyes soften, he can see the pain in your features, the love that you still have for him. He can’t imagine how much pain there still is. He clears his throat.

“He said he misses you, that he doesn’t know what to do without you and that he wants you back.”

Your eyebrows draw together and your eyes feel hot with tears. Your heart hurts. After all, you still want him, deep down you do but you won’t take him back, not after everything he did. Not after the way he treated you, not after he cheated on you emotionally, not after he made you doubt everything, not after he told you that he never loved you, not after he left you for another girl.

You look down to hide the tears in your eyes. After almost two months, you should be feeling better, you were starting feeling better but then he had to rip the bandaids of your wounds that he had given you.

You don’t like crying in front of other people, you have never cried in front of Eddie before but right now, you can’t really stop the tears from falling. It’s all just too much.

“Hey,” Eddie whispers. His eyes soften and he doesn’t even hesitate before he opens his arms for you, offering you a hug that you so desperately need. You crawl over to him and let yourself fall into his arms. He wraps his arms around you as you lay your head on his chest. He rubs your back gently. “I’m here, I got you.”

You close your eyes and melt into the hug, this is what you needed.

This is what he never gave you. The feeling of comfort and safety. The feeling of knowing that he won’t push you away again after a few minutes.

You loved Steve – you love him. He was there but he was never with you. His mind was somewhere else, it always was. He gave you moments but he never gave you his all. With him you were never alone but god, you were so lonely.

Eddie keeps holding you. The sound of your cries and the voices in the TV fill the silence in the room.

He keeps rubbing your back, he plays with your hair and he doesn’t let go.

Why couldn’t he just hold you like he does?

“I know that this won’t make anything better but I think he loves you and he is starting to realize what he lost – only a man in love would get drunk at a bar he hates and break down in front of a guy he hates, also.”

You sniffle and grip his shirt tighter.

“Then why is he still with her? Why didn’t he love me before?”

“I think he always loved you, he was just too dumb to see and she,” he pauses, sighing. “She’s probably just a rebound now. Honestly, I think he was scared of all of this, his love for you. He was scared of it so he just threw it away and fucked it all up and now he’s following you around like some lost puppy.”

He does look like one, with his stupid brown eyes and the sad look in them.

“Why are you telling me this, Eddie?”

He takes a deep breath, he looks down at you but you hide your face as you wipe your tears away.

“I don’t know, I just think that he made a mistake and that the pain he put himself through shaped him into a different person,” he says, still glancing down at you, “I know you think that she changed him but that’s not the truth. I think he changed because of you – he’s still a dick and I don’t think that he deserves you but for what it’s worth, he does love you and he did love you even when he didn’t act that way but I saw the way he looked at you.”

You sniffle, trying to control your breathing as you look up at him, “what do you mean?”

His eyes soften and he hugs you even tighter, “when you were still together, he always looked at you like.. shit, like you hung the moon and the stars,” he chuckles. “I was shocked when I found out that he left you for some other girl. Made no sense to me, still doesn’t, by the way.”

You don’t know whether his words make you feel better or worse.

Eddie’s brown eyes are filled with sincerity and softness.

He can’t understand how Steve could do this to you. How he could just treat you so horribly and break your heart so easily.

“I think he really wants you back but I don’t think that he deserves a second chance, not yet.”

“Not yet?”

“I’m not gonna say that he will ever deserve one but maybe–” he pauses, he sighs as he watches the tears rolling down your cheeks, “maybe he will change and maybe he will fight for you and maybe it will be worth giving him that chance.”

You scrunch your face up and slowly shake your head, “I can’t.”

“You don’t have to,” he says as he squeezes your arms, “it’s just, I can see that you love him and as much as I don’t like him or the idea of you going back to him, he really loves you too – it would be a shame if you both spend the rest of your lives longing for each other when you could just be together.”

“What would you do?” You ask. You place your palms against his chest and you lean your chin on the top of your hands. “If you were in my place.”

He blinks and he stares at you for a long moment.

“I would just focus on myself for now,” he mumbles. He reaches his hand out to touch your hair, running his fingers through it, “I would find things that I enjoy doing – not what I was forced to enjoy.”

You look down and sigh.

“I would try out new things, focus on school and I know that you will snatch that diploma, I’d get the hell out of here after that. Maybe in the future, you and Steve will find your way back to each other or maybe you will meet someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved,” he says.

You’re met with a soft look in his eyes when you raise your head to face him again. You smile at him.

“You will snatch that diploma too, Eddie. I’ll help you.”

“I know you will,” he smiles.

“And then we should get out of here together – we should move to LA so you can become the rockstar that you’re meant to be. We can rent a place together, I always wanted to live with a friend.”

He laughs at your words but then he falls quiet and his eyes flash with something you can’t read.

“You know that might be a good idea.”

“I know it is.”

“Shit,” he chuckles, “we should actually do that.”

“Right?”

“Right,” he smiles.

“And what will you be?” He asks, turning his head to look at you as you lie back beside him.

You lick your lips and stare at the new poster on his ceiling. What do you want to be? Who do you want to be?

You furrow your brows in concentration, a weird feeling settles in your chest. You don’t know. You don’t know anything, it seems like. Who even are you?

“I-I’m not sure.”

Eddie can sense the stress you’re feeling, he takes your hand in his, “hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to know yet.”

“I just.. I don’t even know what I want, Eddie,” you whisper, “I don’t even know who I am.”

You turn back to him, your sad eyes meet his. He squeezes your hand.

“You’ll figure it out, I know you will and I’ll be there with you.”

You maintain eye contact and scoot closer to him as you turn on your side.

“You’re the best, Eddie.”

His eyes shift as he stares at you, he turns on his side as well, “nah, you are the best,” he smiles, tapping your nose the way he always does.

“Don’t tell Heather or Chrissy but you might be my new best friend.”

His eyes light up at your words and his smile widens, “only if you don’t tell Gareth and Jeff that you are my new best friend.”

Your eyes widen, a giggle falls from your lips, “your secret is safe with me.”

“Yours is safe with me too.”

“Pinky promise?” You ask as you hold your hand out to him.

He laughs and brings his hand up, hooking his pinky around yours, “pinky promise.”

You both fall silent as you look at each other with smiles on your faces.

“Shit, who would’ve thought that I’d ever have the queen of Hawkins High in my bed.”

“Shut up,” you laugh.

For the rest of the night, you and Eddie talk about your lives after high school, dreaming about things that might never happen but it doesn’t matter, all that matters is the laughs you both share. You watch Friday the 13th and continue passing the joint back and forth, only making each other laugh harder by making fun of the movie that isn’t even funny.

You are grateful for Eddie and for the love and kindness he is giving you. He has become your little beacon of hope. He is the one who makes you laugh now, he is the one who holds you when you need it the most, he is the friend that everything feels so natural with – even falling asleep in his arms when you’re in nothing but panties and his shirt. You wouldn’t have done that with any other guy but he makes you feel safe.

When you wake up in his arms the next morning, you feel lost and confused for a second. His arms are wrapped around your waist and your head is on his chest, you can hear his heartbeat. For a moment, you thought you were somewhere else, in someone else’s arms but when you open your eyes and you are met with Eddie’s sleeping face, you relax a little.

You can’t help but smile as you look at him.

If Steve didn’t dump you, you wouldn’t be here. You would be in his bed right now. But you wouldn’t feel his arms around you, you wouldn’t feel his warmth, you wouldn’t feel him. You would wake up to a harsh reality, one where you continuously lied to yourself in order to keep him and to keep yourself happy. But were you ever happy?

You miss him, despite what happened, you still miss him.

But maybe it was for the better.

Maybe it had to happen this way.

You wouldn’t have Eddie now. You would have never become friends. And now, you wouldn’t trade this for anything in this world. This friendship has given you more than your relationship with Steve ever did.

Yet, you still need closure. You want answers and a peaceful conversation.

So you make the decision to try it. To try and talk and sort things out. You let go of him but there are still so many things that you don’t understand, things that will never give you if you don’t sit down and have that much needed conversation with him.

When you show up at his house, later that night. You didn’t expect to see his parents' car in the driveway, next to his. You stand in the darkness for a moment, contemplating whether you should actually ring the doorbell or not. The lights are on in the kitchen and in the dining room.

What if she is here?

What if they are having dinner together?

Is she sitting in your spot now?

Does his mom like her the way she always liked you?

Does his dad hug her the way he hugged you whenever he saw you?

You close your eyes and you take a deep breath, inhaling the cold air. You try to calm your heartbeat. Was it a good idea to come here? What if he doesn’t want to see you? What if–

You open your eyes and walk up the stairs, you ring the doorbell before your mind can convince you to turn on your heel and run. You can hear the faint sound of music in the house.

You dig your nails into your palms as you grow more and more nervous. You bounce your knee and stare down at the snow beneath your boots.

The door opens and you raise your head, for some reason you had expected Steve’s dad to open the door but instead it’s him. You watch as his eyes widen, they lighten up a little but they also flash with confusion.

“Hi, can we talk?”

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deluluaboutsteve · 8 months

Text

Loved this!!

Talking to the Moon - Steve Harrington x OC

warnings: werewolf au, sheriff steve harrington, lost hiker oc, stranger to lovers, soft smut, 18+

word count: 16.9 k

WP: https://www.wattpad.com/1378982066-talking-to-the-moon-felicity

Masterlist

“Stupid cell phone,” Felicity shoved the useless piece of technology into her backpack after

figuring out that she had no service.

Huddled in the middle of dense Illinois forest she had somehow gotten herself lost. “So much for being a human compass,” she mumbled to no one but the birds and breeze. Before his passing her dad would take her on trips just like this for her birthday, camping and hiking was their time alone.

Felicity turned twenty-nine today, her dad forever sixty-three. But she had been determined to go camping, against her mother and brothers’ wishes she wasn’t going to let the death of her father stop her from their tradition. So she packed up her bags, loaded them in her shitty car and drove until she couldn’t see city buildings.

Now standing over her overstuffed backpack, with her dead phone and stubborn resolve to prove everyone wrong. She was fucking lost and it was getting dark out.

“I don’t like this. I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all.” she uttered in a singsong-voice as she looked around, trying to figure out which way she came from, only to realize once again that she was clueless. She walked around a few times, thinking about what to do, only to come to the conclusion that she had no other choice than to walk around and find her way out. What did her dad always used to say?

Fuck around and find out.

And that was her plan. At least after she got lost and her phone gave up on her, that was.

Felicity grabbed her huge backpack and started to walk back the way she came from. The beautiful nature of Illinois made her somehow relax and calm, and all of a sudden, she wasn’t scared to find her way out anymore. The huge trees, the birds and the fresh air had a calming effect on her, which she was sure was due 99% because of the memories of her dad and their special day. She really missed him. Although she used to hike a lot, it was never the same as with her dad.

Golden rays of sunshine streamed through the minimal gaps in the trees as if to illuminate a pathway through the never ending nature-scape. Felicity tucked her dark hair behind her ears, letting out a sharp breath as she navigated. “Thanks, Dad,” she whispered with a soft smile finding a home on her lips.

A small chill vibrated through her bones but she shook it off as the sounds of the forest echoed around her. She knew this forest. Her dad’s voice in the back of her mind told her everything would work out and she had to believe him.

Felicity pushed her way through branches keeping a careful eye on her footing as she made her way through the lit pathway. Every once in a while the overwhelming sense that she was being watched would creep up her spine. She chalked it up to being in the woods alone, animals she couldn't see hiding within the brush but once a golden ray would hit her skin, a wave of comfort would crash over her making her trek a little easier.

As the forest started to get thicker, she couldn't help but think that she was still lost.

"C'mon Dad, help a girl out." She said out loud, stumbling over a large rock. Felicity stopped to gather herself again. Her eyes flickered around her, glancing ahead when she saw a small plume of steady smoke floating into the sky. Her brows furrowed as she followed it down to what looked like a small shack sitting tucked back into the denser trees.

Felicity pursed her lips, a low whistle slipping from them as she tightened her hold on her backpack. She took a deep breath and chuckled, “Way to show off big guy,” shaking her head with a smile, “I knew you wouldn’t leave me hanging.”

She took her sign and braved forward following the smoke and a faint walkway marked off between the trees walking as fast as the trail could permit. Her shins were hurting and her breath was short as she reached the shack. The trail leading up to it was a small hill and she had already been walking for so long before she found it.

When she finally reached the couple of steps leading up to the door she stopped for a breath leaning onto the wooden railing. The door flew open and Felicity immediately looked up, the abrupt noise startling her.

Her chestnut eyes took in the man in front of her, seeming just as startled as herself to find her there. The breeze pushed through the golden brown waves of his hair as he stepped into the door frame with a shotgun resting over his chest. The fabric of his black t-shirt clung to the swell of his tense biceps and chest. He watched her with honey swirled brown eyes, flickers of concern as his lips pressed into a firm line.

“Uh hi—” Felicity stepped forward, stopping on a dime when his finger slipped against the trigger of his gun. “I don’t— uh I’m lost.” She threw both her hands up.

“You need to leave,” when he spoke Felicity felt herself inhale, holding her breath at the sound of his gruff voice. “You can’t be here.”

Felicity took a small step backwards, keeping her hands up in the air as her dark eyes flickered between the gun clutched in his hands and the small flash of amber in the man’s eyes, “I - I just need help, I promise. If you could just - point me in the direction of the road, I will leave you in peace,” she stammered. The man stood listening to her ramble with a furrowed brow before stepping forward and looking around quickly, his eyes casting up to the oranging sky. His fingers tapped against the gun, and he huffed deeply.

“Seriously, I just - I just need to find my way home,” she finally finished, slowly bringing her hands down to loop her fingers into the straps of her pack.

He chewed on his bottom lip as he swallowed thickly, “you’d never make it in time,” he muttered quietly.

Felicity's brows furrowed, "In time for what?" She asked not missing how his eyes skitted to the woods behind her before landing back on her own. Deep golden eyes bore into her before he tilted his head to the side.

"For nightfall." The man replied as if it was the most obvious thing and not whatever made his trigger finger twitch when her boots shifted in the dirt.

She pinned back her shoulders, knowing that the longer she stood here having this weird stand off with him the more daylight she was wasting. "Well, if you could just point me into the direction of the road, I'm a pretty fast walker. I can make it." She confirmed with a nod.

The man stared at her for a moment, his mouth dropping slightly open and eyes narrowing at her before he straightened, "you won't." He rasped with as much conviction as she felt needing to get home.

"If I keep standing here arguing with you, I definitely won't." Felicity snapped, "C'mon, you can do it. Just raise that hand, preferably the one not holding the gun and show me where to go." She took a quick mental note of the bear spray in her backpack, knowing it was too far away for easy access and silently cursing herself for shoving it in the bottom of her bag.

She didn't even know if bears existed in Illinois, she just felt safer with it.

The man relaxed his body or at least as much as his wide stiff stance would let him. "It's four miles in that direction," he said, lifting his empty hand and pointing in the opposite direction that she had been heading, "so no, you won't make it before nightfall no matter how quick you move."

Fuck. She thought, realizing that she had been heading the wrong way.

"Okay, well..." Felicity looked back at him, "do you have a phone? Mine died an hour ago."

"No service out here."

"Not even a SAT phone?" She asked, taking a baby step towards him and stopping as soon as his grip on his shotgun tightened. The plastic grip whining under his hold. His jaw worked as he shook his head and her brows furrowed again. "So you're just some man, living in the middle of the woods with no contact with the outside world? I find that hard to believe."

"Believe it sweetheart."

She stepped forward again, keeping her eye on his finger as her boots crunched in the soil beneath her and he watched her cautiously, he was afraid of something. But what? She thought. Felicity watched with curious intentions as he shifted from his left to his right boot. He was just as nervous as she was, a cornered animal she had accidentally snuck up on.

“Who’s to say you aren’t playing tricks on me?” She asked, batting her lashes up at the sky, trying to spot a faint outline of the North Star. “Trying to spin me in circles on purpose.”

“I want you out of my woods,” he snapped like he meant it but flinched when he said it, like it hurt him to be mean to her.

“Your woods?” Felicity narrowed her eyes.

“The woods,” he corrected himself, shifting again back to his left. “I want you out of the woods, it’s not safe.”

“I’m used to the wilderness, I’m pretty sure I can handle it,” Felicity raised her chin with a bravado that she didn’t quite feel.

The man let out a scoff. “Sure you can, little miss wrong direction.” But then his expression changed once more, growing darker. “This wilderness is different.”

“In my experience one bit of woodland is the same as another. Look, if you’re not gonna help me I’ll leave you in peace. There’s gotta be a little clearing around here somewhere I can pitch up for the night. I’ll find the road tomorrow,” Felicity said decisively, waving her arm in the general direction the guy had indicated the road lay.

“No!” He almost growled, stepping towards her, making her jump, and she let out a yip of surprise.

Felicity’s hand landed on her chest as she attempted to calm her breath, keeping her dark eyes focused on the man in front of her. What was this guy’s deal? Sure, living in the woods on his own would make anyone a bit strange, but there was something more about him. She just couldn’t quite put her finger on what.

“I - I’m sorry,” he gruffed, shaking his head and casting his eyes down to the dirt, twirling his fingers back around the gun, “There’s just, there isn’t supposed to be people out here, it’s why - it’s why I come here. But now with you here, it - it’s complicated,” he mumbled.

“I’m just gonna go,” she raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest as she once again spun on her heel to start down the path he’d pointed towards.

Heavy footsteps behind her caught her attention, but she didn’t dare turn around this time. Or even pay them attention. She just had to get back to her car.

“No please,” calloused fingers brushed against her bare shoulder as he tried to stop her, “Look, I meant what I said, you’d never make it to your car before nightfall and it’s - it’s not safe in the woods at night. There are bears and - wolves up here, I can’t - I can’t let you go out there by yourself”

Felicity scoffed and turned to meet his eyes as a sunray caught the yellow in his iris’, “Thanks for the tip mountain man, but I think I’ll be okay,”

“I can’t let you go into the woods at night.” He said softly. Offering her no other option Felicity shrugged out of his hold.

“Good thing you aren’t the boss of me.” She snipped, continuing down the trail knowing that she sounded like a petulant child but she was tired of people second guessing her ability to take care of herself. It’s the exact reason she loved hiking with her father. He never questioned her, only guided her when she fell off the path and showed her how to take care of herself.

Her throat tightened as she swallowed down the emotions rising within her. The last thing she needed was for someone else assuming she was weak.

His boots crunched a long the gravel behind her, almost in sync with her own. Felicity made it half way down the hill before halting and spinning on her heels shooting him a glare. “Are you just going to follow me now?”

His brows furrowed placing his hands on his hips as he studied her for a moment, “I have soup.” The man practically blurted before dropping his head with a sigh, “I mean, if you—“ he stopped himself as his gaze flicked to hers as if he was wrestling with whatever he was about to offer. “It gets dangerous out here at night and cold.”

Felicity stared at him, “you’ve said that.”

“Are you always this difficult?” He barked.

She raised a brow and quipped, “are you?”

If his brows could furrow further down his eyes would be nowhere to be seen behind them. He shook his head and tapped his forefingers against his hips while licking his lips, eyes glued to the last view of the setting sun over the tree lines above her head. The expression of his face looked as if whatever thought that occupied his mind was determined to keep up the war inside.

He took a deep breath and pushed back the mess of brown hair that seemed to have gotten its own life now.

"Listen, I didn't mean to question the experience you have with the wilderness but all I want to say is that..." he trailed off for a second, taking a step closer while warm brown eyes bored into hers. "This isn't a place you want to get lost in, be alone in, for too long. It's not like...any other forest you've been to. Trust me, I know."

His voice now deeper and just above a whisper, like he was afraid of really uttering the words out loud. That brought her own thoughts to go spiraling. Then why are you living here all by yourself? Is this what happens when you cut off any contact with civilization?

She crossed her arms over her chest. "So what's up with this one? Got two headed turtles running around and biting your neck at night?"

Felicity could have sworn she saw the glimpse of a smile tugging at the corner at his lips, but it was gone in a blink of an eye when he once again casted his eyes over the tree line.

"Fuck." He muttered. "It's getting closer…"

“What?” Felicity blocked his view and his brows knitted together. “What is out there that you’re so scared of?” She asked, digging her boots deeper into the soil.

“Wolves,” he said, his eyes snapping to hers. She watched as his fingers itched at his side and his arms tensed around his gun.”Big ones,” he exaggerated.

“You’re repeating yourself again. I have bear spray,” she rolled her eyes.

“That’s not enough,” he said as she started to walk again. “Stop. Now.” He barked from behind her, “come back to the cabin. You can—“ he marched up to cut her off and put his hand out to stop her. “Eat and sleep.”

“Hell no,” Felicity laughed, completely over him and the whisplash that she was giving her.

“Go back now, or I’ll have to arrest you,” he said, his chest puffing out but his voice shaky.

“What are you, the forest police?” She laughed loudly and stepped back from him.

“I am the sheriff,” he confirmed, his hand digging into his back pocket. Handcuffs swung from his long fingers, the metal clinking together.

“Where’s your badge?” She asked, fear gripping her. The wolves and bears didn’t scare her as much as a weird man with a shotgun, handcuffs…. And soup.

“At the cabin,” he huffed, annoyed with her. A piece of his long hair fell against his forehead as he lowered his eyes to her. “Come back to the cabin, please.”

Felicity checked her phone once more, as if hoping that it had miraculously charged itself, but it was still dead and the picture of her and her dad on the lock screen was still out of her reach.

Fuck around and find out. OK Dad, she thought, let’s find out…

“What kind of soup?” She asked quietly, lifting her eyes to the stranger’s, whose eyebrows raised in obvious surprise.

“You know, I’m not quite sure. My friend packed it, it could be anything, but there’s enough for two?” He’d grown a little timid at her change of heart.

“Mystery soup with a strange hermit in the woods, never thought I’d get that one ticked off the old bucket list,” Felicity wise-cracked, trying to ease the tension a little more.

“That’s an oddly-specific bucket list,” the guy breathed and it almost sounded like a laugh.

Hiking her backpack further onto her shoulders she turned and trudged determinedly past the man back towards the cabin.

“Come on then Sherrif, soup’s not gonna eat itself,” she called over her shoulder, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth as she saw him jump into action.

“Steve,” he replied as he caught up to her, “I’m Steve.”

Felicity hummed, a playful smirk falling on her lips as she looked over her shoulder at him, “I think I like mountain man better,”

“We aren’t in the mountains, that makes no sense” he quipped back, and she would have sworn she saw the corners of his mouth twitch into an almost smile.

“Whatever you say, Steve the mountain man,” She smirked again, as they walked into the cabin.

It was as simple as cabins in the woods could get. Small open floor plan, with a small two seater couch and plaid blankets almost everywhere. A kitchen with just the necessities that looked like they’d been here since the 70s and a round dining table with one wooden chair. There was a wood stove that sat nestled in the corner and Felicity was almost surprised to find actual photos up on the wall. A group of smiling kids with their arms wrapped around each other, and in the middle of them stood who she believed was a younger Steve. He looked happy and playful, and the opposite of the man who stood before her now.

A gruff throat clear from beside her pulled her back to the present, “make yourself comfortable,” he muttered, moving past her into the kitchen.

Felicity shrugged out of her backpack and set it on the edge of the couch before doing one more spin to get a look at the cabin. She rolled her shoulders ignoring the dull ache in them from the weight of her overpacked sack as she made her way into the kitchen.

“Cute cabin,” she offered as he poured the contents of a clear container into a pot on the wood fired stove.

“It’s just a cabin.” He lifted one shoulder haphazardly as he stirred the soup.

She rolled her eyes leaning against a small countertop next to him. Her eyes roaming over his sharp yet ruggedly soft features, noticing the small constellation of freckles that dotted his cheek. Felicity resisted the urge to reach out and trace them with her fingertips as she let out a sigh, “so what’s in this mystery soup?” She asked leaning towards him to get a peek into the pot.

Felicity noticed the way Steve’s entire body tensed as she got closer to him, her shoulder gently brushing against his as she spied the contents. “Hmm,” she hummed, “looks like carrots, celery, are those potatoes?” Her nose scrunched as she looked up at him. Steve’s gaze was focused on hers, the dull kitchen lighting still made the gold flecks in his eyes dance as he stared.

After a moment she pulled back forcing him to blink a few times, “you don’t like potatoes?” He asked his voice somehow huskier than before while turning his focus back onto the stove.

“I mean they’re ok I guess,” she shrugged, “they’re just a little…uninspiring.”

Steve stiffened as if he was offended and slid an incredulous gaze back to her.

“I thought you were strange, creeping around my woods a million miles from the road and going in the wrong direction but now, to insult the noble potato? Now I know you’re a weirdo! I should call the Sheriff or something.”

“You are the…” Felicity began but paused. “Wait. You’re making fun of me aren’t you?”

“I would never,” Steve said, his voice gruff but there was a teasing hidden underneath that made the atmosphere just that little bit lighter. “Here,” he said, handing her the ladle, “stir the uninspiring soup while I get some bowls.”

Felicity took the ladle from his hands, his fingers brushing hers along the way, sending chills down her spine. She didn’t know why. It was almost too cliche, like something out of a movie. But she felt there was something different about him. His touch, even so little, was warm and soft, nothing like she expected after the cold first impression she got of him.

She stirred the soup a little, looking into the pot and watching the little pieces of potato swim around. She must’ve had a disgusted impression written all over her face because when Steve came back with the bowls, he chuckled. “You really don’t like potatoes, do you?” his tone was a little more serious and softer than before and Felicity responded by shaking her head.

“You wanna trade, then? I’m not a huge fan of carrots. You can have my carrots and I'll take your potatoes.”

“Deal.” she chuckled and Steve started to fill both bowls with the hot steaming soup.

“Mhm,” Felicity moaned. “It does smell good though.”

She watched Steve collecting all his carrots with his spoon and putting it into her bowl. She copied his motion and did the same with her potatoes.

“It tastes even better than it smells. It’s my favorite soup. I could eat it all day.” Steve started eating but Felicity just stared at him confused.

“I thought you don’t like carrots.” She frowned and saw how Steve's cheeks turned a bright pink as he kept eating.

Busted. She thought. But at the same time, she thought it was pretty cute that he offered to trade so that she had more of her soup.

A smile tugged on her lips, “It was great doing business with you, Sheriff.”

“Yeah you too, mystery mountain woman.” He looked up at her with his bright hazel eyes and she remembered that she had never given her name.

“Felicity,” she said, “my names-”

“Felicity, I like that.” He smiled, eating more soup.

Silence fell between them, giving her a chance to recenter herself and really take in what was around her. As Steve ate quietly, his hair falling in his face and eyes darting up to check on her every once in a while, she studied the sheriff.

The black t-shirt he wore left nothing to her imagination, tight around the swell of his biceps she noticed that his skin was far from perfect. Scattered about both arms were scars that she hadn’t seen before, they looked like faded paint splotches and matched the tight ring of faded white scars around his throat, now visible up close in the light. She looked at the picture again, it was hard to look at Steve without seeing that lack of warmth but something had stolen the light from his eyes.

“Who are they?” she pointed her spoon toward the photo, too curious to remain quiet.

“Family,” he huffed, not looking at what she pointed at. “Mike, Will, El, Dustin, Max and Lucas.” He named them across the photo left to right from memory.

“You look so happy,” she smiled, turning her attention back to him.

He stared up at her through heavy lashes, sadness maiming all the smooth features of his face. She could see the young man, beneath the burden and trauma, he had clearly suffered so much that he wasn’t healing from.

“Are you finished?” He extended his hand to her bowl and she nodded letting him take it from her. “Why were you up in the woods anyways? It’s an odd time of the year to hike.”

“It’s my birthday,” she leaned back in her chair and watched him as he quickly did the dishes in the small sink.

Steve’s golden gaze flicked over to her from the sink, “Birthday huh?”

Felicity smiled and nodded though she knew it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She had been doing well trying to forget the biggest piece of her birthday puzzle that was missing. Her gaze moved from him to the photo of his family and she swallowed the creeping lump in her throat.

“Not one for celebrations?” He asked as he leaned against the counter and wiped his hands clean.

“I love celebrations.” She said softly.

He threw the dish towel over his shoulder and crossed his arms over his broad chest as he studied her, “someone who loves celebrations doesn’t spend their birthday in the woods alone.”

Felicity let out a heavy breath, “man nothing gets by you does it?” She chuckled gently.

Steve shook his head, “Not usually.”

She watched the corner of his mouth quirk up as he watched her. Felicity opened her mouth to tell him everything but it fell closed. She couldn’t just spew out her feelings to this man. She also knew once that faucet was turned on she wouldn’t be able to turn it off.

“Lay it on me mountain woman,” he urged gently, crossing one leg over the other as he made himself comfortable.

She sighed, “Just remember you asked,” Felicity let out a small laugh that trailed off, “My dad and I used to go hiking all the time, especially on my birthday.”

His head tilted to the side, “used to?”

Felicity flashed him a weak smile, “He passed not too long ago.”

Steve hummed, and nodded once, pulling his lips into a thin line, “I’m sorry, that’s tough”

With a small shrug, she nodded in response, “Yeah but you know, working through the five stages of grief and all that fun stuff. I had hoped being back here would help and for a little there it actually did, but I think my mom and brother’s voices in the back of my head telling me not to come threw me off, and well, now I’m here,” she chuckled lightly again.

“Now you’re here,” he repeated, keeping his gaze fixed on her.

“Okay, well, that was my tragic backstory,” Felicity said quickly, tilting her head and raising her eyebrows at him, “your turn, Sheriff Steve”

“Oh we don’t have to get into that,” he chuckled nervously, turning around to look out the little window that sat above the sink.

“Oh come on,” she protested, “the random girl you found stumbling through the woods just spilled about her life, it’s only fair. Let’s just do family! You said those kids were family, but what about your actual family? Where are they?”

The man cleared his throat and tapped his fingers against the porcelain sink, “Just because they’re blood, doesn’t mean they’re family,” he mumbled, “And I don’t know where they are. South America somewhere I think… My parents haven’t been back here in years. They used to come home every once in a while for Christmas, but one year they just stopped. That’s kind of why I always made sure those kids,” He turned slowly, and gestured towards the photo, “always had someone.”

“And who took care of you?” Felicity chewed on her lip.

She watched his eyes as they bounced around the cabin trying to figure out the answer to her question. He rubbed a hand roughly over his nose and nodded as he contained his feelings, “there were people here and there, but eventually everyone leaves when things get hard and scary you know?”

“I do.” She probably understood too well what it felt like when people ran away. Her ex had turned tail the second things got hard with her dad, citing she wasn’t spending enough time with him.

“I just became the guy.” He shrugged. “The it’s gotta be me guy. No one takes care of that guy.”

She was about to open her mouth when he pushed away from the sink, his eyes growing wide as he looked at the sky outside. “Listen,” he put his hands on his hips, turning to her, “I need you to stay here. Can you do that?”

“Where are you going?”

His change in demeanor worried her, he ran a hand through his hair, pointing it out in her direction asking her again. “Can you do that Felicity?”

He mumbled something under his breath and paced to the back corner of the cabin, unlatched a cabinet against the wall.

"Steve," She stood up, watching as he shrugged into an old green army jacket with patches that had definitely seen better days. "You can't just be cryptic and tell me to stay put when clearly something is wrong."

Felicity's eyes widened when he pulled out a set of metal chains and a small handgun from the cabinet. He threw the heavy chains over his shoulder like they weighed nothing before checking the gun over once and then twice. Steve lifted his gaze to hers, ignoring her previous comment and flipped the gun in his hand, holding it out to her. "Once I go out that door, no matter what you hear or what you may see," he paused, tilting his head to catch her gaze currently glued to the weapon.

She felt the warmth of his index finger hook under her chin as he lifted her gaze to his, "Listen to me Felicity," amber eyes flickered between her own, "No matter what you may hear or see, you don't go outside. Okay?"

Her brows furrowed as worry dripped over her entire body and her bones filled with an uneasiness. She wasn't sure what urged her to nod her head in a response as he held the gun closer to her.

"Promise me." Steve's voice had dropped into a whisper, his thumb resting on the tip of her chin. "I know it goes against every stubborn bone in your body you've shown me today, but I need you to say it."

She hated everything about this. His warnings from earlier circled her mind like cruel vultures preying on her nerves. Felicity lifted her hand, her fingers wrapping around the grip of the gun. "Okay, I promise."

Steve tapped his knuckle twice on the tip of her chin gently before dropping both hands to his sides and clenching them into fists. The softness in his eyes was replaced with something else as he stepped back from her and made his way to the door leaving her standing in the middle of the room with only her racing thoughts and a handgun that resembled a water gun her brother had when they were kids. Only this was heavier and definitely not filled with water.

"Steve?" She blurted just as he yanked open the door. He stopped and turned back to her, "I want the truth when you get back. Why are these woods so dangerous to you?"

He stared at her for a moment, the metal door knob whining under his grip but instead of an answer Steve turned, shutting the door behind him with a loud thud that echoed against the log walls.

Felicity tapped her hands nervously against her jeans, spinning around in a circle to really do inventory on where Steve had left her…trapped her to be more exact. She walked around the cabin, bee-lining for the cabinet that he had pulled the chains from hoping not to find anything else that might prove her diluted theories that he was a serial killer.

Inside the massive cabinet was nothing more than another gun, “perfect,” she grabbed the barrel, setting it against the counter at her feet. Before closing it she noticed a ratty torn picture hanging from the door. It looked like it had been folded a thousand times and possibly gone through the washing machine. But it was of Steve and some other man, arms around each other laughing as they squinted to see into the sun. They looked young but not the same as the other photo, this was taken more recently. His hair was longer than it was now but the smile was genuine. She picked it up, twirling it in her fingers to read what was written on the back.

Remember who you are and never let anyone diminish that Steve Harrington light. Xx Ed

It suddenly felt like she was invading something really personal. Something close to heart and well hidden from anyone but himself although he was lonely up here, a past and emotions that are held inside those mysterious amber eyes to look back too. She flipped over the photo to skim her eyes over the two boys again. It all felt so relatable to her, having a picture of herself and dad showing off their big grins on their first hiking trip together under her pillow. A picture that felt like it held and never stopped to live through a thousand shared memories.

She thought of the picture on the wall, of the people he called family. It seemed like this Ed really meant something to Steve with the sparkle of life and wholeness almost breaking through his smile and eyes.

Who was this man before the woods took him over?

A sudden loud bang from outside made her jump up straight and almost trip over her own feet, feeling as if her heart almost broke through her rib cage from how close it sounded to be. In a panic she quickly tucked the photo in the back pocket of her pants and her instincts told her to reach for the handgun she didn't even know why she needed.

"Steve? What's going on out there?" Her voice trembled. The noise scared her off pretty good and she had no idea where the hell Steve went off to.

No answers, just the sound of her heavy breathing and fingers nervously tapping against the gun resting against her side. Should she go outside? Steve was pretty clear that she couldn't leave the house for her own safety no matter what...but what if something happened to him? What if-

Something moved in the forest, leaves and branches crushing under a heavy weight. Felicity was almost about to reach for the door when all of the hairs on her body shot straight up. Like a warning, along with Steve's echoing in her mind.

It was like something in one of the scary movies she’d watched with her Dad, when the main character knows they shouldn’t do something but they do it anyway. Just like them Felicity found herself being drawn inexorably towards the cabin door. With her arms prickled with goosebumps and a thrill of tension running down her spine she reached out and gripped the door handle. She jumped when she heard a thud just on the other side of the door, which now felt ridiculously flimsy to her. Pressing her ear against the wood there was a snuffling huff and a hint of a growl. Felicity swallowed thickly.

“Steve?” She half-whispered but there was no answer, just another grumbling huff.

Felicity closed her eyes and drew in a shaky breath, muttering words of encouragement to herself. She silently counted to three in her head, making extra sure she got to the right number by adding in two-and-a-half, and then two-and-three-quarters. When she got to three she gulped and threw the door open wide, raising the gun at the same time.

There was nothing there. Except…

She swore something had darted into the treeline. Something big.

The full moon above illuminated the tops of the tall fir trees and spilled through the gaps creating spots of light rippling deep into the forest. If the pounding of her heart wasn’t screaming at her to head back inside she might have taken a moment to appreciate how beautiful everything looked.

A loud crunch from behind the trees snapped her gaze in each direction as she tried to figure out where it came from.

“Steve?” Felicity called a bit louder, not daring to set foot off the small wooden porch as she squinted into the darkness.

There it was again. Something big moving in the darkness, avoiding the moonbeams and lurking. A shiver ran down her spin and the feeling of someone… something, watching her crept across her skin like goosebumps.

She let out a short breath, and twisted her fingers around the gun like she’d seen Steve do earlier when she had first shown up. She was starting to understand why he was so on edge.

“Okay, we’re okay, the mountain man I was slightly counting on has disappeared, and I might be getting stalked by a bear, but it’s okay,” Felicity mumbled to herself, attempting to quiet the shake in her voice.

Felicity gnawed on her bottom lip debating on whether or not to go back inside and even though every one of her nerves stood on end she took a tiny step towards the edge of the porch. As if in warning another loud snap of a branch came echoing at her through the trees forcing her to stop.

“Warning received,” she muttered softly. “Steve?” She hollered a little louder this time hoping that he’d answer back, “if this is some sort of sick joke on the lost girl, you’ve made your point! It’s not funny!”

Another low growl came from the woods directly in front of her. Her eyes shooting to the spot. She narrowed them slightly, swearing that a pair of golden eyes were staring back at her and whatever was stalking her was still, sticking to the shadows.

"What the hell." Both hands now trembling around the gun and her whole body paralyzed.

It felt like those eyes bored right into her soul, feeding through the horror seeping through her veins and squeezing the last squeaky breath out of her lungs. She closed her eyes for a brief second with her heartbeats drumming in her ears, praying and hoping this was all actually just a wicked dream because she'd fallen somewhere in the house and hit her head damn hard.

A scratching sound against something inside the forest made her pop her eyes open, golden glowing eyes lowered the ground. But this time, not only did she catch sight of the bright yellow orbs that made her feel like a prey surrounded by several predators, something else shined against the moonlight. It dangled and clanged with every small movement from the thing in front.

The chains that Steve had taken were wrapped around and tangled into the fur of the massive animal. Slumping forward out of the forest as she stepped back on a shaky foot, her heel hitting the bottom step of the porch. Each massive step the animal took as it stalked from between the trees sent Felicity’s rapidly beating heart further up into her throat. The moonlight streaked through the fur, dusty brown shades mixed with long golden waves that seemed to glimmer with each swing of the wolf's giant body.

Felicity took another step back, nearly tripping up the step as she gripped the banister and balanced herself. Both eyes are still on the wolf. Where the hell had Steve gone? She swallowed tightly as it stepped forward again, lowering his snarling maw to the grass as it inhaled her scent. The chains clanged together sending an eerie tone through the silent, dark forest that chilled Felicity to the core.

Felicity felt the need to run, sweat marking her forehead as the wolf came closer and closer. With every step she took backwards, her heart beat faster.

“Steve?” She wanted to scream but it only came out as a whisper. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to run, to scream, but it was like she was frozen in place, the tiny steps she took back the only motions she could handle right now. She looked back for a second to see the door being only a couple of inches away when the wolf suddenly started to rise to his full height, making itself look bigger than before as it let out a deafening howl into the darkness.

Before she could even react, the wolf started to pick up its pace towards her.

Stumbling up the couple stairs to the porch, Felicity knew at that point her effort wasn’t going to mean much. She tried to spin and grab the door but her feet got caught beneath her and she tumbled forward, pushing open the cabin door with her body as she fell into the living room. The brown wolf leaped up the stairs and barely touched the wooden porch before he was snarling, standing almost on top of her. Felicity couldn’t bring herself to scream or speak, the scene in front of her almost hard to believe.

A large paw was placed next to her ribs, a claw slicing into the skin of her bicep as it did so. She cried out and jerked her arm while trying her best to sink into the floor away from its dripping teeth. Her dark eyes opened to meet the wolf’s amber ones, just as they softened and flickered between Felicity’s face and the bloody cut down her arm. With a heavy huff and one shake of its head the giant wolf took a few steps backwards before turning around and taking off quickly back into the woods. She stayed laying on the floor staring out at tall trees, with only the sound of her pounding heart left around her. There was so much in her mind that Felicity couldn’t make sense of until a piercing howl from the woods brought her back to reality and the growing, stinging pain now radiating from her arm.

She scrambled backwards against the wooden floors, kicking the door closed with her boot before sitting up. Glancing down at the gash now dripping blood down her forearm she winced, poking at the red and angry skin around it. Another howl echoed through the woods outside and though it sounded distant, it felt as if it reverberated through her bones.

Felicity forced herself up off the floor. The uneasiness in her stomach growing as she glanced around the room. If the wolf decided to come back she knew it was big enough to break down the door. Her eyes landed on the worn out couch before flicking to the door. Making her decision, she made quick work of sliding the couch in front of the door, wincing as the tear in her arm stung with the weight of the sofa. Once in place she stepped back, finally taking a breath.

Her arm throbbed, stung and felt heavy against her side as she looked down at it again. "That's definitely not good." Felicity muttered, "I wonder if Mountain Man has a first aid kit."

She wasn't sure why she was talking to herself, but it felt comforting in the moment. Though the idea that Steve was still out there with whatever that creature was made her heart clench. She made her way to the small bathroom, flipping open cupboards until she found what she was looking for. "Bingo." Felicity pulled the first aid out from its place under the sink and tossed it on the counter with a sigh.

Opening it, another relieved sigh fell from her lips when she found a bottle of alcohol, gauze and bandage as her savior. She winced just thinking about the pain that would come from cleaning the wound, but she knew better than to let it be, especially when a wild animal had caused her arm to be dripping in blood.

She quickly drenched a towel with warm water and dabbed the irritated skin gently to get rid of the dirt before popping up the lid on the alcohol bottle, pouring out some on a couple of cotton pads she found at the bottom of the kit and finished cleaning it carefully. A few hisses and groans fell from her lips but a couple of deep breaths helped her get through the worst of the stinging pain. Finally wrapping the bandage around the gauze securing the wound, she sat down with a huff on the toilet seat.

Felicity looked out to the living area from the bathroom, her mind racing through hundreds of different thoughts of what the hell she was supposed to do know. She guessed she was safe in here until Steve came back...oh god what if he doesn't come back?

"Get it together girl... the door is locked and secured along with the windows. The wolf can’t come ins-"

Her eyes snapped to the window just over the couch in the living room, long and sharp claws slowly dragged against the glass making a chill-sending screech pierce through her ears. The howl made her jump to her feet with her heart in her throat, frantically looking for something to defend herself with if needed.

Shit.

She realized she'd dropped one of Steve's guns outside when the attack happened since she didn't come back inside with it. Hopefully, the second she'd found was still where she'd left it. With one big breath of courage she ran to the kitchen, finding it on the floor and quickly picked it up with a shaky finger ready on the trigger.

The wounded flesh seemed to burn beneath the bandages as she raised her arm, trembling from the weight of the gun. She tried desperately to control her ragged breathing but she was dizzy and her eyes flickered out of focus every time she inhaled deeply.

Another snapping twig redirected her attention to the back of the cottage where the trees seemed to lead into nothing but a pitch black void. She swallowed tightly, shifting her stance in a feeble attempt to stay balanced.

“Fuck,” she swore, stumbling a step and crashing into the nearby wall with her shoulder. She slid down against the old wood, scraping her back and curling her knees to her chest. She fought hard to keep her eyes open but eventually the darkness was too heavy and pushed her backward into a sleep.

A loud bang from the front door echoed through her, followed by another and another. A rhythmic pattern that pulled her from sleep onto shaky feet. She screamed, forgetting about her arm as she used it to push from the ground only to crumble back against the floor in a pile.

The sun crept in through the dirty windows, warming her cheeks as she tried again. Sliding to her knees and finally her feet. She gripped the gun so tight her knuckles were void of color as she clicked the lock of the cabin. She peered out into the woods, scanning quickly for any sign of the wolf. Her eyes only dropped when a painful moan drifted up from the porch beneath her. She swung the door open to find Steve, soaked in blood and tattered clothes, leaned against the door frame clutching his ribcage barely breathing.

“Oh god,” she dropped to her knees beside him.

Her eyes hurt with how quickly they stared around his battered body, taking a silent inventory of every scrape, cut and bruise that she could see. “What the hell happened?” She hissed.

Steve’s golden eyes peered over at her before flicking down to the bandage on her arm. His eyes fell closed, “I’m sorry.” He whispered, “shit,” a small hiss left his lips as he shifted against the door.

Her brows furrowed, confused on why he was apologizing to her. She hovered her hand over his arm, afraid to touch him but knowing she needed to get him inside. “Steve, you have to get inside. Can—” her eyes met his again as the morning light filtered onto the porch. The flecks of gold in his eyes felt so familiar as if she hadn’t seen them yesterday but they glowed… just like… she shook her head ignoring the creeping feeling that the pained eyes staring at her now were the same from last night. It’s not possible. “Can you stand?” She asked softly.

He nodded as he took a deep breath, clutching harder onto the door frame with a bloody hand as a support to lift himself up. For a brief second she swore she saw his nails...longer before she blinked away the possible imagined picture in front. She also caught a glimpse of blood under his nails before he curled his fingers against the wood.

Let it go. It's just all in your head, just try and help him, she told herself.

He only managed to stand half upright before his body caved in and his knees fell to the floor with a loud thud. A deep groan fell from his lips and he hissed as he almost collapsed with Felicity if she hadn't caught him in her arms. Her wounded arm throbbed with pain but Steve's state was a lot worse and at the moment he couldn't even get inside on his own.

She needed to let her pain aside at the moment to help with his own.

His forehead rested against her shoulder and she could feel his breathing getting heavier and heavier, his whole body sagging against her hold. An aching feeling made an appearance in her chest, almost replacing the stinging feeling in her arm. She started to really get worried now from how weak he seemed to get the longer they waited. What the hell had he been through? She gently tapped against his side, making him slowly lift his head to reveal those warm and tender amber eyes behind golden, dirty locks.

“Hey Steve...it's okay, I'm gonna help you inside to the couch. Just put your arm around my shoulder and we'll do this together. Okay?”

He swallowed thickly as he looked down to her arm. "B-but I hu- you're hurt..."

“And bandaged,” Felicity choked out trying to balance his weight. Together they stumbled to the couch where Steve collapsed in a ball. He was down to a shabby pair of shorts that had been left unbuttoned, roughly thrown on to protect his modesty and half of the dark t-shirt he had left in.

Felicity moved without hesitation trying to keep her wits about her as she collected water, rags from the sink and tucked them against her body with a rough hiss. She gripped them with her sore arm as she grabbed the first aid kit that had been strewn in a bloody mess on the floor from the night before.

She dropped to her knees beside the couch and ripped the cap from the water bottle as she searched out for a pair of scissors to cut him free of the tattered shirt.

“I can do it,” Steve groaned, trying to sit up.

Felicity pushed his hand away as she continued to work. “Felicity I can do it,” he protested again. “Enough, stop!” He pushed her away harder this time causing her to lose her balance.

She held the scissors up, her tone sharp and serious as she said, “let me take care of you.”

Hurt flashed across his honey eyes but he leaned back against the couch with another staggered painful breath.

She dropped her hand with a sigh before making quick work of removing his shirt. Every once in a while her gaze would flicker to his face, eyes closed, brows furrowed in pain. Felicity wanted to know what happened, how he was completely fine when he left and now, he looked like he went ten rounds with whatever had been lurking in the woods.

When she dipped a rag into the water and wrung it out, her eyes flickered to him. His eyes were open watching her carefully.

“I’m gonna start here,” she said gently nodding to a series of scrapes along his abdomen. Felicity waited until he gave her a curt nod before she rested the rag against his skin and softly swiped away at the dirt and dried blood.

His abs flexed from her movement with the rag against the sensitive skin and he gripped the edge of the couch hard as to control the pain from coming out in more than what his body showed her, knuckles turning all white and veins popping with the pressure. She tried to be as gentle as she could but with all the dried dirt and blood...it seemed like some of it had been there for hours. His eyes never left hers despite how hard it seemed to make them stay open, according to her, looking like he's been fighting for his life with the devil himself.

She cleared her throat as she wrung out the bloodied rag, pouring more water on it before focusing on a small, fleshy wound clean against his side. A few curses fell from his lips as she faded out slowly while getting lost in her thoughts. She wanted answers. Not more questions. She didn't even know how to explain to herself what had happened to *her* these past hours.

"Want to tell me what happened out there? Where you were exactly?"

When he didn't answer right away she looked up at him. His eyes bore right into her and a mixture of sorrow and rage swarmed in his eyes before looking over her head. As if she didn't deserve a proper answer and it only made a fuming feeling inside her come to life and a stinging feeling collect behind her eyes. She thought she would die, she thought she wouldn't be able to see home again...and all while wondering where he'd left off to, leaving her all alone in a place she felt trapped and abandoned in.

Felicity shook her head, the emotions now catching up on her from the traumatic event and she slammed the wet rag against the wooden floor. "Damn it Steve! Where the hell did you go?! Do you know how scared I was seeing that thing out there and having no damn clue what I even saw and wondering if you really did leave me to die and now you're back looking like something from a horror movie..." She took a deep breath, wiping away the tears she didn’t have the strength to hold back.

A shaky inhale interrupted the silence. "I- I'm sorry...but- damn...you wouldn't under-"

"Don't treat me like a damn kid when I'm a grown woman!" She was yelling right at his face now and she slammed her hand hard down onto the floor, completely ignoring his hurtful look and the wave of pain in her arm it had caused. "If I'm going to help you I want you to be honest with me. I've been through hell. What. Is. Going. On. Out. There, please Steve."

“I never meant to hurt you,” his fingertips brushed the pool of blood that seeped through her bandage. Her eyes casted downward nervously as she tried to make sense of it.

“You didn’t,” she whispered, “it was—”

“Me,” he huffed, forcing his body upward on the couch until he was sitting, “it was me.”

Felicity slid backward away from him, her hands on the cold floor, eyes trained on Steve. The golden eyes that flickered from haze to rage with the blink of an eye, the soft, terrifying fur that bared striking resemblance to his hair. Now matted with blood and stuck to his neck and forehead.

Her father had spoken many times about skinwalkers. About the dangers of them but she had thought him insane for believing such tall tales.

“How?” The word dripped from her without consent. Her mind needed answers even as the rest of her body shut down in fear.

“Hawkins is a strange town,” Steve licked his lip and grunted as he swung his legs to the floor. “It’s hard to explain and even if I did, would you care? I can’t change what I am, but I can get you home. The sun is up, you can go. There’s a map,” he hissed trying to stand, “in the drawer. Follow it west to town, go to the station. Ask for Buckley. She’ll get you back to your car.”

“No,” Felicity said.

“No?” Steve chuckled, pain vibrating through him but his lip curled into a smile. “You’re the most bullheaded woman I’ve ever met.”

“I find that hard to believe,” she sighed. “You need a bath, you smell like a dog.”

“Was that a joke?” Steve’s brows knitted together as his laughter filled the tiny cabin.

“It was the truth,” Felicity swallowed tightly, “I expect the same in return.”

Huffing out a breath, Steve shook his head, glancing his eyes around his cabin, looking anywhere but the girl beside him, “This isn’t your problem Felicity, I can’t - I can’t drag you into this…” he whispered

“I hate to break it to you Steve, but I’m in it now,” she replied, holding out her hands, “let’s get you cleaned up, come on,” Felicity urged. Hesitantly, Steve placed his hands in Felicity’s, wincing in pain as she tucked his arm around her shoulder. The pair slowly started making their way over to the small bathroom. Felicity’s mind was still reeling about the events of the night, and the man beside her, but for some reason, cleaning him up and making sure he was okay seemed more important in her mind than anything.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Steve breathed, slumping against the wall outside the bathroom door, “I just need to - I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay, you rest here for a sec, I’m going to get the bath started okay?” Her fingertips trailed lightly over his shoulder and arm as she gently let him lean against the wall on his own. Felicity’s dark eyes trailed over him, and she bit the inside of her cheek as she took in a small breath. “Don’t do that,” he rasped, leaning his head back against the wood as his amber eyes met hers. “Do what?”

“Feel bad for me…”

Felicity scoffed softly, “I don’t feel bad for you Steve…” she rolled her eyes when he raised a brow, “I’m—I’m confused how it’s even possible. I have a million questions but I know you won’t answer them. So I’m holding out on asking and instead making sure you don’t die before you help me get back to my car.”

She exhaled, finishing off her rant as he stared at her. Steve lifted his hand to reach for her, a gesture that surprised Felicity as his fingers brushed her own. “I can’t tell you everything.” He rasped, “and I’m not gonna die.”

Again she rolled her eyes, tired of secrets, tired of feeling underestimated on what she could or couldn’t handle. Felicity attempted to turn to move into the bathroom when his fingers caught her wrist, tugging her back to him. Her hands hit his shoulders and he let out a soft grunt at the thump her body made against his but his eyes roamed her face, landing squarely on her lips before flicking to her eyes. “You don’t have to help me.”

“And you don’t have to help me.” She whispered almost breathlessly, “call it insurance.”

Her cheeks flushed at the contact, his unusually warm skin burning underneath her touch and his hands skimmed her sides holding himself steady against her.

His tongue rolled over his bottom lip, “insurance.”

Felicity nodded, doing everything she could to ignore the swarm of butterflies taking over her belly. Her eyes flit from his own to his lips and back as she tried to keep her breathing steady and will her heartbeat to slow down under his grip. The tip of his fingers dug lightly into her skin as they held each other’s gazes. Their bodies pulled at each other like magnets just at the brink of collision. She could just feel the way their lips called to each other to close the sliver of distance left between them.

“I should get that water going for you,” she breathed between them, her hands traveling slowly down his arms stopping at his hands, giving them a soft squeeze before reluctantly pulling them away from her hips.

Felicity turned slowly, taking the two short steps towards the bath before she sat on the edge and turned the knobs until she found the perfect temperature and plugged the drain to let it fill. She lifted her gaze to where he stood, leaning against the wall watching her every move. Taking a deep breath she stood and extended her hands to him.

“Come on Sheriff Mountain Wolf-Man,” she encouraged, her lips curling upwards a touch. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Steve took her hand, hobbling toward the bath pausing only in concern for undressing, “spin,” he huffed.

“Now you're shy?” Felicity laughed.

“I don’t make a habit of undressing in front of women on the first date,” he groaned, working at the button with a shaky hand.

“This is a horrible first date.” She shook her head.

“I’ve had worse,” he laughed.

Usually she would oblige in one's request for modesty but something deep in her chest told her to help him regardless of the situation. So she didn’t turn, instead she stepped forward and brushed his fingers out of her way as she helped remove the shorts he was wearing. He turned his face away from her, his jaw tight as he stepped free of the fabric.

“Slow,” she warned as he lifted one strong thigh over the tub losing his balance. He gave her a soft chuckle in recognition before using her for support to step fully into the tub. Felicity lowered with him, tucking herself against his side and chest until he emerged in the warm water. “Is that okay?” She asked.

“It’s perfect,” he leaned back, keeping one of his knees bent to cover himself and sunk down into the warm water.

Felicity smiled, watching the tense muscles in his shoulders visibly relax as the warm water soothed his skin. His eyes found hers and her cheeks flushed, realizing she'd been just standing there staring at him. She cleared her throat and turned away, moving to check the cupboard for another rag.

"Why didn't you stay inside?" His voice was soft and she could hear the exhaustion in it as she found what she was looking for. Felicity turned to him and shrugged.

"I was worried."

He lifted his head for a moment, studying her as she sat down on the edge of the tub making sure to keep her eyes focused on his wounds and above the water. "About me?"

Her eyes met his and she was sure there was a slight crack in his voice when he asked. She got the feeling that he wasn't used to having someone worry about him and Felicity wasn't sure what was worse, the fact that he wasn't used to it or that he thought he didn't have anyone that did.

Either way she wasn't expecting the ache in her chest at the idea.

"Steve," she breathed, dipping the rag into the water and wringing it out, "I didn't know what was happening out there. I didn't know where you were and the things I heard out there, I couldn't just leave you."

He lifted his hand from the water moving to reach for the rag but instead his hand wrapped around her wrist, holding her hand just above his skin. His grip was firm, but it wasn't hurting her and it was more of a warning. One that she deep down wanted to ignore.

"I would have been fine," he said softly, shaking his head.

Felicity moved against his grip and pressed her palm to his chest, the rag still within her fingers but she was done with his protests. "And you showed up this morning half dead, you're lucky these aren't worse."

"Why are you helping me Felicity?"

Her gaze met his, amber eyes glossy under the bathroom glow. She rested her free hand on his cheek, swiping her thumb over a patch of dirt that marked his skin.

"Because I get the feeling that you could use someone to take care of you for once." She wasn't expecting the emotion that filled her words but something pulled her here yesterday, something kept her here overnight instead of booking it at her first chance and even though she should be terrified of what he admitted to her, Felicity wasn't.

She saw Steve swallow down whatever he wanted to say. The pain in his eyes wasn’t due to all the cuts and bruises he collected over night. It was a different pain, something that went way deeper.

Steve turned his head to the side again, avoiding her gaze as she slowly washed his chest with the cloth, trying not to hurt him some more while she cleaned all the blood that smeared his hairy chest.

“It’s not easy, you know?” He looked at the white and blue tiles of his bathroom, trying not to look at her.

Felicity just nodded, not wanting to say anything to interrupt him when he finally opened up to her. A little, at least.

“I didn’t want all of this to happen. I-” he choked on his own words. “I don’t know how to explain this to you.”

“It’s okay. I’ve got time, you know?” She tried to lighten up the mood a little with a silent chuckle but she didn’t get a reaction out of him as he just stared at the wall next to him.

Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if trying to start but not knowing how. Putting the cloth to one side, Felicity reached out and covered his hand with hers and the gentle weight of it seemed to ground him slightly. He dared a glance at her out of the corner of his eye and then took a deep breath, steeling himself before finally speaking.

“This won’t sound real but I swear it’s all true,” he began. “I was…we were…just kids when it all started. We uncovered things that a child should never have seen. Monsters from another world, a parallel world. We called it the Upside Down. Seems a stupid name now.”

He made a noise that was half laugh, half sob and Felicity squeezed his hand gently. Turning it over he absentmindedly threaded his fingers through hers as he stared unseeing at their joined hands.

“There were rips, gaps, I dunno what you’d call them really, between the Upside Down and here. Hawkins was the centre of it all. We fought hard, lost people along the way, but we finally got all the rips closed.”

His other hand joined their linked ones and he fidgeted with her fingers. Felicity could feel his agitation rise with every heartbeat.

“It’s ok Steve, really. You don’t have to…” she began but he cut her off, as if now he’d started he couldn’t stop the story from pouring out.

“We thought we’d closed them all,” he huffed, shaking his head. “A few years later, when I was still just a police officer, I was sent to investigate a disturbance in the woods, not far from here. As soon as I saw the twisted tree with the tear right down the middle I should have booked it out of there, but I didn’t.”

He’d begun stroking his hand up and down her forearm, soothing his anxiety with the soft touch of her skin. Felicity’s heart was breaking for him, the despair on his face made her want to reach out and hold him but she knew he needed to finish.

“I was gonna call for back-up, Dustin, or maybe even Byers, but before I could something launched itself out of the tree and sank its teeth into my side.”

Felicity cast her eyes once more over the planes of his chest and caught sight of what could be faded teeth marks below his left ribs.

“I fought it off and managed to get a couple of rounds into it but the next month, when the full moon rose, something happened…”

He shook his head as he adjusted slightly in the tub, the sound of the water splashing against the sides filling the silence. She could see that he fought with himself now with being so close to tell the whole story. To wanting to let it all go but fearing to finish off whatever was pulling him in both directions in his own mind.

The softest and warmest pair of brown eyes glanced back again at her over a coated layer of tears. One tear slipped free to fall down over a scraped cheek, holding one of many painful memories. It felt like Felicity’s heart was tugged right out of her chest then. He just shrank at that point, turning so small and vulnerable but for her to fully understand him and see the truth. She could understand the many hidden emotions crawling out of him at that point, the pain and suffocating feeling of being locked up inside for too long.

“I thought I could handle it…to not become a monster…I thought I could build myself a future after all the shit even though it wouldn’t be with the people I wanted to share it with…” A sob escaped his lips, shaking as he squeezed harder around her hand.

Felicity’s mind raced with the images of the broken Steve in front along with the previous events, the pieces all forcing itself to come together despite how unrealistic it seemed to be. After all, these things only happened in books and movies, but…

The growls.

The feeling of looking at something familiar as goosebumps littered her skin.

She did recognize those chains.

“You aren’t a monster,” she said softly, reaching over to brush his jaw so he would look at her again. “You didn’t hurt me.”

“I did,” his eyes flickered to her bandage.

“That’s nothing but a cool scar,” she smiled at him, “barely hurts anymore.”

“Felicity,” he chewed on his lip, “I don’t know anything about this…disease. What if-” he stopped and looked away from her with tears in his eyes.

“Do you know why I came out here Steve?” She said in an attempt to distract him from the spiral she could see him sinking into.

“Your dad,” he said.

“Yes but it started because it was the only place I ever felt alive, the woods. Dad and I would go camping to reset, and take a beat away from the city. The woods were always my home and call me crazy but for me, if something like that does happen, I’m not afraid of it.” She said with confidence, earning a shocked look.

“You should be,” he replied, “I almost killed you, and god knows what else I did manage to kill last night. It’s not fun, it's a curse.”

“I have been alone for months and it brought me to you,” she whispered, their faces closer than before. She could count the flecks of gold that sparkled in his brown iris’. “It can’t be a curse.”

A short shaky breath left his lips as his amber eyes glanced down to find their entwined fingers before finding her face once more, tracing her features. Felicity could tell that there was something on his mind that he didn’t want to say. He was chewing on the inside of his cheek and as his eyes softened, the corner of his lips twitched upwards into the resemblance of a smile. “Felicity,” Steve finally whispered, bringing his free hand out of the water and brushing the backs of his fingers lightly across her cheek. Shaking her head, Felicity rubbed the tips of their noses together and hummed, “I know what you're going to say,” she whispered back, “but I’m not going anywhere. Let someone be on your side, sweet boy, we can figure it out together, if you’ll let me.”

Another tear slipped down his still dirty cheek, and as he tried to choke down another sob, Steve leaned forward and softly pressed his lips to hers. The tension released from his shoulders as his free hand found purchase on the side of her neck, tangling into the short hairs at the base.

A swarm of butterflies took over her senses and instinctively Felicity leaned in to deepen the gentle kiss. She could hear her mother screaming at her now for kissing a random man in the woods after the night they’d had, but something about Steve brought a sense of comfort to everything. She’d come to the woods to try and reconnect with herself, and bring some sense of safety and normalcy to her life after the passing of her father, but instead she’d found Steve. Everything from the day before had led her to Steve.

“I’m sorry, I don’t -” Steve started, shaking his head as he went to pull back. Felicity pushed a tangled piece of brown hair off his forehead as she tilted her head to catch his gaze, “Hey, no,” she shushed him, catching his chin with two of her fingers and bringing his face back to hers, “I felt it too,” she assured him and placed another gentle kiss on his lips.

She felt the way his lips curved into a soft smile as they pressed into hers. Every butterfly in her chest fought hard to escape as he pulled away once more, resting his forehead against hers. “I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you.” he rasped.

It was her turn to smile as she curled her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging gently so he’d look up at her. “You were you,” she smiled.

Steve huffed a laugh. She could see the way his eyes had become glossy again and how his throat worked as he swallowed down whatever emotions were bubbling just beneath the surface. Felicity released him gently, dragging her hand down the side of his neck to his collar bone and pressed him back. “Let’s focus on getting you clean, yeah?”

Surprisingly he didn’t fight her. Steve leaned back into the tub as she began to work the cloth over his skin again. She dipped it into the cooling water, rung it out and began wiping clean the splotches of dirt from his face.

With every swipe of the cloth Felicity could see the color returning to his skin. Slowly but surely all the wounds across his chest closed and the bruises on his jaw and thighs started to fade. His fingers tickled along her arm as if he was tracing the imperfections of her skin as she worked and it was calming. She hadn’t expected to wander out into the forest and find someone like Steve. She just wanted to feel needed and wanted by her surroundings and connect with her dad. She laughed under her breath and Steve flinched from the sound.

“What?” He shifted uncomfortably not from the pain but out of worry.

“Before you put a gun in my face yesterday I asked my father to guide me home,” she said softly, “which at the time I thought differently of but I think he knew something I didn't.”

“You think you were led here?” He asked, curiosity dripping from his words.

Felicity sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. “It sounds crazy.” She laughed softly as she eyed his skin for any blemishes she may have missed.

Steve tilted his head to the side as the corner of his mouth turned up, “Felicity, I’m part wolf, I just told you secrets about this town that if told to someone else could put me into a padded cell.” He chuckled, “that’s the least crazy thing I’ve heard in at least ten years.”

She smiled brightly at him before shrugging, “I guess that’s true.”

She maneuvered herself almost behind him so she could move onto his back. Gently she urged him to lean forward in the tub as she began working on the dirt and scrapes that littered his skin there. “My dad never believed in higher powers,” Felicity almost whispered, “he believed in the things you could see and feel and smell.”

Her voice cracked softly, swallowing down the lump in her throat. “But he always told this story of being alone on the trails or in the mountains and having this sense of someone watching over him. He said that when he got tired or took a wrong turn and his panic settled in there would be this presence. Just a hand on his shoulder guiding him home to us. He said as soon as he’d find his way or get his energy back and felt safe again, it would disappear.” She smiled to herself, “it was the only thing he couldn’t see that he trusted.”

Steve turned his head to glance at her, “you felt him yesterday, didn’t you?”

Her eyes met his and she nodded softly, “more than once—and each time it brought me closer to you.”

He lifted his hand, twirling on a strand of her hair before gently tugging on the end. “Your dad would be proud of you.”

“Shut up,” she whispered with a smile, sniffling a little, “but thank you.”

Felicity finished washing down Steve’s back, hyper aware of the small grunts of satisfaction that slipped from his lips and she wondered just how long it had been since he’d let someone take care of him like this. Taking the bottle of shampoo and holding it up to him in a silent question, she smiled sweetly as he nodded.

“God, please,” he almost whined and so she set to work lathering up his hair.

She took her time running her fingers through the tangles, freeing the knots, and making sure she cleaned all the dirt from his scalp, which earned her a deep groan.

“OK,” she giggled, “rinse off.”

Steve flashed her a grateful smile and slid under the surface of the water, cleaning the suds from his hair before emerging once more. He shook his head, showering Felicity with droplets of water.

“Quit it, Toto,” she squealed, flicking water from the tub back at him, although what she thought that would achieve she didn’t know.

“Toto?! Really?!” He exclaimed, rounding on her with a vulpine grin.

“What…don’t you dare…” Felicity began as an arm snaked its way around her waist and dragged her flailing into the bathtub. “Let go of me! Steve! Oh my God, this water’s filthy!” She spluttered as she stared at him incredulously.

His real laugh echoed out through the tile bathroom as Felicity sat defeated in the murky water. Steve’s amber eyes caught her dark ones and she shook her head, trying her best to look mad, but the feeling of his fingertips skating along the exposed skin of her stomach quickly pulled her out of it.

“Are you happy? Now we both look like wet dogs,” she quipped, flicking water at him with a playful smirk on her face. “How many more of those can I expect from you, hm?” Steve quirked an eyebrow, swiping his tongue along his bottom lip. Felicity shrugged, as a slight blush crept into her cheeks. Instinctively, she reached up and brush a piece of hair off his forehead, “Sorry, I’ll stop,” she chuckled softly, “I made you laugh though, I think I get credit for that,” she replied, laying her head onto his chest.

Steve hummed again, and turned to press a gentle kiss onto her forehead, “Honestly, I don’t mind it coming from you,” he smiled into her skin and tightened his arms around her a little, “And you get credit for more than just making me laugh,” he whispered.

She grinned, combing her fingers through his wet hair. She felt his own dig into her waist, holding her to him. “Like what?”

He smirked though she didn’t miss the slight tinge of pink in his cheeks. Steve pretended to think for a moment before wrapping his free hand around the back of her neck tugging her to him. His lips crashed against her own in a soft needy way that had her stomach fluttering again. He pulled back gently staring up into her eyes with a sense of awe in them, “for being stubborn,” he whispered before planting a soft kiss on her, “courageous,” kiss “strong,” another kiss only this time slower and sweeter, “and for showing me it’s okay to ask for help.”

Felicity sighed holding his face in her hands. “To be fair you didn’t ask for help.”

Steve bursted out with a laugh and shook his head, “you’re right.” His smile sobered as he pushed back the damp hair stuck to her cheek, “but if it meant spending more time with you I would.”

“I’d like to spend more time with you too,” she whispered back, kissing him sweetly once more. “But please can we shower first? I’m covered in swampy wolf water.”

Steve threw his head back and laughed loud and long. Felicity’s chest tightened at the sight for it was obvious that he didn’t allow himself to be so vulnerable very often.

“Alright, Wildling, pull the plug then.”

Felicity did as he’d asked and the tub began to drain of the now-clouded water. Steve lifted himself up a little and reached around her to turn on the shower, which cascaded blissfully warm water over the pair.

It was Felicity who clambered to her feet first and she held her hand out to help Steve. He took it, despite the fact that his wounds had already healed, and allowed Felicity to haul him to his feet.

She stood before him, her soaked shirt and jeans making her even more conscious of his nakedness. Managing to keep her eyes on his face she swallowed thickly, the tension building quickly between them.

Steve reached out a hand and brushed a gentle thumb across her cheek before sliding it around to cup the back of her neck. He leaned forwards until his lips brushed against hers.

“Do you need me to leave?” He whispered.

She searched his eyes, resting her hands over his chest before sliding them down his skin, over his ribs to wrap her arms around him. Felicity shook her head, “absolutely not.” She whispered. It was breathy and a little needy but feeling his body mold to hers as he wrapped one arm around her waist made her never want to leave this tiny cabin in the woods.

“Tell me what you want Sweet girl.” He whispered back leaning into her and grazing his lips along her cheek, chasing the tiny droplets of warm water away with soft kisses.

She giggled softly despite the fact that her body felt like it was burning and it wasn’t from the heat of the water or him. Felicity wasn’t sure what she was doing when she asked “Help me out of these clothes?” But she knew it felt right.

Steve smiled against her neck where his lips had guided him and nodded. “As you wish.”

His fingertips worked diligently at the hem of her shirt as he helped roll the soaked fabric up over her stomach and chest. The air licked at her bareskin causing her nipples to pebble beneath the sports bra she was wearing. She giggled as Steve’s eyes grew in size, raking down her body with his lips, kissing every inch of bare skin he could find.

Felicity wiggled her hips in protest at how slow he was moving, “the water’s gonna get cold.” She whined as he kissed a trail down her stomach.

“Won’t matter,” he huffed against her skin. “I’ll keep you warm,” he popped the button of her jeans and flipped the hem of them over the top of her ass. Steve’s thumb dug into her hips as he leaned her against the wall for support, shucking her wet jeans down over her body one thigh and calf at a time.

Steve sank to his knees as he freed her from the pants, pausing as he threw them to the side to look up at her. The water ran down around his face, pressing his golden hair around his cheeks and neck. His eyelids were heavy, his chin tilted up toward her with a lazy smile on his lips.

“What’s going on in there?” He made to rise from his knees.

“About thirteen sit, stay jokes,” Felicity laughed as he lunged for her in retaliation. He knocked them both off balance, her back hit the shower wall as his hand wrapped around her and tugged her hips to his.

“This old dog has tricks,” Steve growled against her neck.

He cupped her thigh, tickling down until he gripped her tighter and hoisted her legs up. She wrapped herself around his waist as he adjusted her in his arms. He pushed back a chunk of hair from her shoulder and kissed a line toward her jaw.

“You really said that?” Felicity whispered a chuckle against his temple as he sucked gently at a spot just under her jaw that made something tingle deep within her belly.

“Only for you, but never again,” Steve huffed, pressing his lips in a fiery trail down her neck and across her collarbone.

Felicity gasped at the feel of his lips against her skin, hot, as if he ran warmer than the average person. Needing him closer she crossed her ankles behind his back and squeezed her thighs into his hips, pulling him towards her. He bucked his hips against her and she let out a soft moan as his hard length brushed against her clothed core.

“Steve,” Felicity whimpered, tanging her fingers in his hair and pulling his face up to her once more.

“What, Felicity?” He growled, low and rumbling. “Tell me what you want.”

“Everything,” her eyes dragged over the water droplets that ran down his face, “you, this, I want it all.”

“Are we crazy?” He asked, kissing her gently as he slid her soaked panties down over her legs, letting her kick them away.

“The werewolf asks the stockholmed hiker,” she kissed him back, dragging her lips against his bottom lip. She tangled her fingers into his hair, tugging gently at the nape of his neck. “Insane.”

“As long as we’re both insane,” he gave her a husky laugh.

“Hurry up and get to ravaging,” she tugged harder on his hair to remind him of her growing urgency to have his lips all over her. “Is that what you animals do?”

“You’ll be the death of me,” Steve groaned with the buck of his hips, “but I would die the happiest man.”

She grinned as she dipped her head to nip at the warm skin of his neck, “you sap,” she teased just as he bucked his hips again, his length pushed into her entrance just enough for a gasp to leave her. Felicity dug her fingernails into his shoulders holding on as he slowly sunk further into her with soft grunts.

“Shit,” he hissed as soon as he was completely buried into her. She felt full and warm and her entire body seemed to cover in goosebumps as he licked a stripe up the column of her own neck. “You even taste like sunshine,” he groaned, pulling himself from her and then thrusting into her at such a slow pace her eyes slammed shut with the intensity of it all.

“Steve, please,” She moaned.

He chuckled, “Just give me a moment to savor how you feel, woman.” Steve continued his slow thrusts until the soft growls that left his lips began to grow louder. Felicity tangled her fingers into his hair, tugging as she rolled her hips against his trying to get more of him. To feel more of him. Despite the fact that she was plastered to his body, it still wasn’t close enough.

“I can’t wait anymore,” he breathed almost in a whine, “I need you.” His hips began to move faster, pistoning into her while his fingers dug into the soft flesh of her thigh. She was going to have bruises later and for once, Felicity didn’t care.

“You have me,” She whispered before crashing her lips against his.

He growled again against her neck as he thrust into her, the sound sending a thrill down her spine. Her hands grasped at his hair, his neck, scratching along his back, trying to touch as much of him as she could. She couldn’t get close enough.

“God, Felicity, are you even real?” He sighed into her ear.

“As real as you,” she gasped her reply, tightening her thighs around his hips and pulling him closer. “Do that again.”

“What, this?” He said, pumping his hips harder into her.

“No,” she groaned, her fingers clutching his hair. “Growl for me.”

“Fuck Felicity..." He breathed out as he gently scraped his teeth up along her neck, nibbling at her ear. "I frickin love being crazy with you." He circled his hips deep and hard while one hand drifted further up to place over her stomach.

"Steve, plea-”

Dragging his lips to hover over her ear, a much deeper and toe curling, rumbling growl made the hairs on her neck stand straight up and goosebumps litter over her skin in another wave, along with a tingling sensation of pleasure crashing over her. It shot through her body and a moan escaped from her lips as her eyes rolled. For a small second in her hazy mind she wondered how she once was so terrified of it, when it now had made her body and mind so addicted to it.

One of her hands remained tangled in his hair whilst the other drifted down his spine to clutch at his ass, her nails leaving indentations in the firm muscle. A soft whine left his lips and his hot kisses trailed down her neck once more. Felicity could have sworn she saw his eyes flash golden but the sound of ripping fabric drew her attention and her sports bra fell loose around her chest, the straps sliced clean through.

“Did you just…” she gasped, not stopping the movement of her hips against him.

“Sorry,” he muttered as his tongue laved a fiery path over her breasts.

“S’Ok…I didn’t…like…that one…anyway!” Felicity ended on a moan, her head thrown back against the cool tile as Steve took her nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the pebbled peak.

He groaned against her skin as his free hand drifted up along her stomach to knead her other breast, rolling the sensitive nipple between two fingers as he continued to pump into her. The feel of each thrust, every swirl of his tongue and roll of his fingers made her eyes roll back of the sensation coursing through, chanting his name as her hands gripped his damp blonde locks a bit tighter to hold herself up.

"Yeah so worth the death of that stupid bra." She panted, feeling a boyish smirk forming over her skin as her heels dug deeper into his back.

A gentle bite to her nipple made her suck in a breath from the sudden tingle, a whimper quickly forming in her throat as the throbbing feeling between her legs intensified. Releasing her nipple and lifting his head, he pressed his lips to her into a hungry and lust filled kiss before sucking on her bottom lip and releasing it with a pop. His lips moving over hers as he spoke with ragged breaths.

"If you could only see now, Felicity...god...this perfect face just for me to look at, these beautiful noises just for me to hear." He panted as the hand around her breast moved further down, smooth fingers tickling her skin and filled her with anticipation as they came closer to her needy bud. "Give it all to me, angel." He cooed just before his thumb pressed down and began to circle over her clit.

As the tension coiled in her stomach Felicity held on to him with every ounce of strength she had left, her toes curling and her back arching. Steve flexed against her, holding her tightly with one arm and working at her clit with the other hand. He rocked into her, hitting every nerve as his impressive length slid through her over and over bringing her to the edge. She felt like she was flying as the water ran cold and hit her sensitive skin. She cried out, dragging her fingernails through the skin on his back, hooking into his shoulder blades as her vision became spotty.

“Open your eyes,” he commanded. “Felicity look at me,” he begged a second time when she didn’t listen.

When she finally pried her eyes open he stared up at her with hazy golden eyes, his hair matted to his forehead and neck from the water. His soft, pink lips were sore from kisses and his eyelashes were wet with tiny droplets of water. He looked like an angel in the dim bathroom lighting.

“There’s my girl,” he ran his teeth against her bottom lip, slamming up into her relentlessly until the rubber band within her was taut again, ready to snap for a second time. “One more, together.” He growled, biting harder against her skin this time, sure to leave marks that she’d bare in the morning light.

“Steve,” she whimpered, clutching onto his shoulders, his biceps, one hand burrowing into his hair as she clenched tightly around him.

“That’s it, Beautiful, that’s it. God I can feel you, so close again for me.”

His rhythm faltered, hips stuttering against her as he neared his end. He pulled her even closer against him and with a final hard thrust he spilled inside her but it was the deep, animalistic snarl that escaped from his lips that sent her plummeting over the edge of her own release. Chests heaving, Steve dropped his forehead to rest against hers and she nudged her nose softly against his damp cheek.

Cold water sprinkled over their bodies but Felicity barely felt it, the heat radiating from Steve was enough to stave off the chill. He noticed anyway, the way the goosebumps rose upon her skin and how she burrowed deeper into his arms.

“Come on Mountain Woman,” he said softly, his voice thick with affection and some other emotion she couldn’t quite place. “Let’s get you warm and dry.”

He pulled away from her and Felicity almost whined again at the loss of contact but it wasn’t for long. He turned off the freezing shower and cleaned them both with a washcloth before wrapping her in the largest towel he had in the bathroom. He swept her up in his arms and she let out a joyful giggle as he carried her through to the bedroom.

He opened the bedroom door with a kick of his boot, revealing a dark room with only the moonlight illumination the far end corner from the window besides the bed. He placed her down on the edge of it, nothing more than just a dark wooden frame, it creaking when she sank down to the mattress, but it actually felt more comfortable than they eye could tell. He rubbed her arms with a tender smile on his lips, making sure that the towel was secured around her to not let the warmth escape.

"Ah, so you do actually have a bed, and sleep?" She couldn't help the playful smile that escaped when he shook his head with a chuckle, rounding the bed to turn on the lamp on the nightstand.

"I'm still human you know?"

"Oh, I didn't meant it like-"

He walked back to her and gave a quick peck to her nose. "Don't worry your little heart out sweetie, I'm just messing around with ya, like you do you know." He winked, his warm hand cupping her cheek and she leaned into it, thumb caressing the skin under her eye.

The feeling of being embraced with a promise of safety and something else that made her heart flutter and she sighed into his palm.

"I'm gonna see if I can find some clothes for you, okay?" His knuckles slid down her cheek to rest against his side before walking to another door across the room.

Felicity sunk down into the mattress and tucked her towel tighter around herself as she watched him work. Flipping through endless plaid shirts, Steve paused just for a moment on a jean jacket, running his fingertips over the fabric before shaking his head once and moving it to the side.

Finally, Steve pulled out a light grey hoodie with a faded green tiger embellished on the front of it, along with a pair of blue gym shorts. With a soft smile, he made his way back over to where Felicity was and gestured to her to put her arms up.

“I can dress myself you know,” she quipped with a playful smirk.

Steve rolled his eyes, and gestured again, “always so stubborn,” he let out a light chuckle as his fingers ghosted up her arms before helping her pull the sweater over her head.

Felicity moved her towel, dropping it onto the floor and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, watching as Steve moved to kneel between her legs. He took her ankle in his hand and pressed a kiss to the side of her calf. He tucked her foot into the leg of shorts, followed by the other one and pulled them up, a giggle falling from both of them as Felicity wiggled her hips in an attempt to help.

“Better?” Steve asked, pressing a light kiss to her forehead.

With a soft hum, she sank down into his bed with a satisfied smile, “I’ll be better once you’re here with me.”

Steve smiled softly and shook his head, letting out a sigh as if he couldn’t quite believe she was there. Sliding beneath the covers with her, his breath hitched as Felicity snuggled into his chest and slid one leg over his thighs.

“It’s been a while since I last did something like this,” he rumbled, wrapping his arm around her and tracing delicate patterns across her arm with his fingertips.

“Then let’s make sure it happens again,” Felicity mumbled sleepily, nuzzling her nose against the scattering of hair across his chest before they both drifted off into a comfortable slumber.

Summer gave way to fall and evenings came earlier and were crisp with frost. Felicity sat on one of the large wooden chairs that now had a home of the porch of the wooden cabin, a steaming mug of tea in her hand. She turned the page of her book, the words illuminated by the orange glow of the lantern hung above her, and pulled her thick blanket closer around her shoulders

A crackle of twigs breaking drew her attention to the forest beyond and her heart thudded at the low, rumbling growl that penetrated the trees. Her lips turned up at the corners as the dark figure emerged into the clearing and prowled over towards the cabin, it’s eyes glowing a brighter gold than the lanterns.

The giant wolf made its way to the stairs, deposited two rabbits at the bottom, and then looked toward Felicity. It cocked its head to the side and it’s ear twitched, as if it were proud of itself. Felicity sighed but there was a teasing note to her voice.

“You can clean those yourself, you know. I’m not doing it for you. Anyone else would just go to the store.”

The wolf whined a little and blinked it’s large golden eyes at her before hanging it’s tongue out of its mouth and panting comically. Felicity giggled and laid her book down on the deck before opening her arms.

“C’mere Steve,” she chuckled.

The wolf huffed and trotted up the stairs. Curling himself up next to Felicity’s chair he laid his head on her lap and almost purred like a kitten when she ran her hands over his fur and scratched behind his ears. She pressed a kiss onto his velvety nose and the two of them settled down to await the transformation that morning would bring.

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deluluaboutsteve · 8 months

Text

My fav story

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 6

Warnings: angst, mentions of heartbreak, alcohol consumption

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler

Summary: Steve finally gets the answer to a question that has been haunting him for days.

Word count: 6k+

A/N: @belokhvostikova remember the ask you sent me about the idea with the denim jacket? I had to include it in this chapter, so thank you hehe <;3

series masterlist

Steve’s phone kept ringing all day, since the early morning hours. He doesn’t know if it was her or his mom, he didn’t bother to get up and check. At some point, the doorbell rang twice, he didn’t get up to open it either. He wanted to be left alone. He didn’t want to see anyone except for you. The thought of you just made him cry harder and made him feel more pathetic about himself – he kept reminding himself that it was him who fucked it all up.

He never felt such self hatred for himself the way he does now. All day, he laid in bed thinking about you and all the things that happened that led him here, getting drunk at a bar he used to hate, wallowing in self pity while he knocks back one drink after the other after throwing his fake ID on the counter.

How will he keep going?

Steve downs his fourth drink of the night and slides the empty glass over to the bartender, asking for another one.

The man gives him a look of concern, eying Steve for a moment.

“Just.. please,” Steve mumbles.

The bartender sighs, shaking his head, he mumbles something under his breath but still, he picks up the bottle and pours the whiskey into the glass, “you’re getting water after this one, son.”

“I have water at home,” Steve says. He reaches for the glass and slides it back towards himself. He leans his elbow on the counter and looks around the mostly empty room. Some rock song is playing in the background, one he doesn’t recognize. There’s a heavy cloud of smoke in the corner of the room where two men are sitting, laughing at some jokes that probably aren’t funny as they smoke their cigarettes and drink their beer.

The door opens and in walks the guy that is probably one of the most irritating people at Hawkins High – to him, at least. Steve bites back a groan when their eyes lock. He turns back around, avoiding eye contact. From the corner of his eye, he sees him walking towards the bar.

“Hey Tony.”

Steve lifts his head a little to see the Bartender smiling.

“Hey Ed, how’s it going?”

Eddie drums his fingers against the wooden counter, he looks around the room, “good, uh, have you seen my notebook? I’ve been looking for it everywhere but I can’t find it – I even cleaned out my van, can you believe it?”

Tony chuckles, “was about time you cleaned out that thing, boy.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, snorting, “yeah, well I’m busy.”

“With what?”

Eddie pretends to think as he raises his brows and looks up at the ceiling, “well, working my ass off so I don’t have to repeat senior year again, I recently found a good tutor,” Eddie smirks, “got myself a muse to help me write the song texts,” Eddie wiggles his brows, making the older man laugh, “working on a new campaign. Oh and of course, how could I forget, comforting the broken hearted – you know, just the usual,” he shrugs as his eyes flicker over to Steve for a moment.

“What a busy man you are, Eddie,” Tony chuckles, shaking his head. He throws the towel on the counter, “I’ll take a look in the back.”

“Thanks man,” Eddie smiles, watching him disappear in the hallways. He turns his head to look at Steve.

“What is King Steve doing at the Hideout?”

Steve turns to face him and Eddie raises his brows in surprise, “damn, you look like shit, man.” Eddie says. Taking in the puffy eyes and the dark circles beneath them, he almost feels bad for him. His hair looks messy, not as perfectly done the way it always is.

“Get lost, freak.”

“Always the douchebag,” Eddie mumbles, rolling his eyes.

Steve turns away, he raises the glass to his lips and takes a sip, swallowing the bitterness.

“Are you pre drinking for the dance tomorrow or are you just drowning your sorrows in alcohol because you finally realized what a piece of shit you are?” Eddie asks. Not being able to hold back.

Steve frowns, he turns to face him. There is something in Eddie’s eyes that Steve can’t read.

“What the hell is your problem?” He asks. Not understanding the anger that is directed at him. They never liked each other but they never attacked each other either. Steve avoided him, he never had the jock’s back when they bullied him but he never really did anything about it either.

Eddie looks at him for a moment. He opens his mouth to speak but decides against it. He sighs and looks away but Steve keeps staring at him. A weird feeling takes over him when he looks down at the jacket Eddie is wearing. His heart stops and his face pales.

It’s that jacket. The one that has been in your room all week. It’s just a normal dark denim jacket, it could just be a similar one, he tells himself. But the Metallica pin on the sleeve is the exact same one that he had seen on the jacket in your room.

Eddie smells like cigarettes and weed, the cologne that he can smell even from a distance is the same one that he had smelled on you. Realization floods through him in a cold wave.

Eddie Munson is the stoner Billy had talked about?

Eddie Munson is the guy you have been seeing?

How did you even meet him?

You never even talked to him when you were still with him.

“You got lucky, Ed,” Tony says, holding up Eddie’s notebook, “you gotta take better care of your things.”

Eddie chuckles, feeling relief. He takes the notebook and sighs, “I know, I know,” he mumbles and steps back, “I’ll see you on Tuesday, Tony.”

“Tell your old man to come by too.”

“Yes sir,” Eddie salutes, grinning at the older man, he takes another look at Steve, who stares into blank space as he holds the half empty glass in his hand. Sighing, he turns around and leaves.

Steve snaps out of his thoughts, he reaches for the wallet in his back pocket and picks out a fifty dollar bill. He throws it on the counter and puts his wallet back into place, he grabs his jacket and makes his way out of the bar, following Eddie.

“Hey! This is too much, kid!”

“Keep the change,” Steve mumbles before he stumbles out into the cold. He clumsily puts on his jacket. The cold air hits him harshly and he suddenly feels much tipsier than he did while he was in there.

Eddie stands by his van, the notebook is tucked under his arm, his hand is cupped over the cigarette that is between his lips as he lights it up.

“Hey!” Steve calls out to him. He stumbles through the snow. He blinks, trying to get rid of the blurriness in his eyes.

Eddie turns around to face him, a curious look residing on his face. He blows the smoke into the other direction and leans against his van.

“What do you want, Harrington?”

Steve stops in front of him. The wind feels harsh on his skin, not even the thick jacket does anything to shield him from the cold. How Eddie is able to walk around with a denim jacket and not freeze to death makes him wonder.

“W-Where did you get that jacket?” He asks. Not knowing what else to ask now that he stands in front of him.

Eddie stares at him with a serious look on his face, eyeing him up and down. “Why?” He asks. “You wanna buy it?”

Steve furrows his brows, he shakes his head, “no?”

“Why do you wanna know?”

Steve’s mind is a little hazy, he feels more drunk than tipsy, right now.

“You’re the stoner.”

Eddie raises his brows, his dark eyes flash with amusement and confusion, “the stoner?” He chuckles and takes another drag from his cigarette. “They usually call me a drug dealer but sure, I’m also a stoner – sometimes.”

Steve shakes his head. “A-Are you with y/n?”

Eddie tilts his head. “With y/n?”

“Are you hooking up with her?” Steve asks, angrily.

A knowing look takes over Eddie’s expression. He pulls back and sighs in annoyance.

“Not that it’s any of your business but no, I don’t take advantage of vulnerable girls. And not everything is about sex,” he glares at him. He feels irritated by Steve and by the way he looks so confused about this revelation.

“Then what is it about?” He slurs. Throwing his hands up.

“Jesus, you’re a real douchebag. Is that all you think about? Sex?” He asks. “Can’t two people that like each other just be friends?”

The look on his face tells him no. For some reason, Steve can’t comprehend that thought. How can Eddie be your friend and not want you? He always wanted you. Ever since you were little kids. He always loved you. He always wanted you to be his – until he didn’t.

Eddie shakes his head and rolls his eyes, he throws the cigarette into the snow and walks away. The sound of Steve’s keys jingling makes him halt in his tracks though. He closes his eyes, annoyance rushes through him. He doesn’t like Steve, he never did and after what he did to you, he started liking him even less but you are his friend and you still care about him. He takes a deep breath and turns around.

“Put those keys away, dude.”

“Huh?” Steve mumbles. Looking up in confusion.

“You’re not driving home like that,” he says. Pointing to his drunken state, he watches Steve trip over a small pile of snow. Maybe if things were different, he would’ve laughed at him. “Get in the van, I’ll drive you home.”

Steve looks at his car, knowing he is in no state to drive himself but he refuses to get into a car with Eddie Munson.

“I’ll walk.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you let the freak drive you home.”

It’s not about that, it’s about you.

Steve looks at Eddie, who stares at him in annoyance.

“Get in the car, dude. She’d kick my ass if she knew that I let you drive home like this.”

Steve looks down for a moment. He takes a few deep breaths and nods. He puts the keys back in his pocket and opens the door, careful not to slip on the icy ground, he looks down and gets into the van.

Eddie jumps into the driver's seat and closes the door. He throws the notebook on the windshield and puts the key into the ignition, startling Steve with the loud music when he starts the car. He scrunches his face up and turns down the volume, “shit, my bad.”

Steve’s heart is pumping in his chest, sighing, he opts to look out the window after putting the seatbelt on.

“Your music sucks.”

“The audacity you have, Harrington,” Eddie scoffs. “Here I am being nice, inviting you into my van and you dare to insult the best music that there is!” He says dramatically.

Eddie hits the buttons, turning on the radio instead, Heroes by David Bowie starts playing, “here, just for you, King Steve.” He snorts. Not knowing that this will turn out to be a bad idea. Steve tenses up when he hears the song but Eddie doesn’t notice, he is too focused on the street as he backs out of the parking spot.

The song takes him back to last year, back to you.

“If you had to give us – our relationship a song, which one would it be?” You asked him as you sat on his lap.

“A Song?" He asked, chuckling.

You nodded with a smile on your face as you looked through your new polaroid pictures that you have taken with him in the snow. He leaned his chin on your shoulder and tightened his grip on your waist.

“Uh– probably, Heroes.”

“By David Bowie?”

“Yeah.”

You nodded, humming. For a moment, it was silent between the two of you, you placed the polaroids back on the table and turned to face him.

“Isn’t it sad though?”

Steve shrugged, not thinking as deeply as you did.

“He sings,” you cleared your throat and looked at him shyly. “And you, you can be mean,

and I, I'll drink all the time. 'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact. Yes we're lovers, and that is that. Though nothing will keep us together. We could steal time just for one day. We can be heroes for ever and ever. What d'you say?”

Steve was smiling at you, his heart was fluttering in his chest and you, you were blushing by the time you were done singing.

He poked your waist and leaned in to kiss your cheek, giving you one of his rare soft moments. “Exactly, he sings ‘we’re lovers’.”

“You are not listening to the rest of the song, Steve!”

“Then keep going.”

“No,” you giggled.

“Please,” he whispered, pouting. “I love your voice.”

You rolled your eyes, playfully. You kissed his cheek and began to sing again, clearly loving the sweet moment between the two of you when he watched you with soft eyes. He cleared his throat and picked you up, laughing at the squeal that fell from your lips, he leaned in to steal a kiss before he placed your feet on the ground. He grabbed your hairbrush from your desk and held it up to his lips.

“I, I will be king and you, you will be queen.” He sang.

You giggled and walked backwards as he began to walk you towards your bed.

“Though nothing will drive them away. We can be Heroes, just for one day.” He furrowed his brows as he tried to remember the rest of the lyrics. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you back against him, “and we kissed, as though nothing could fall.”

“You forgot the rest of the lyrics–” he cut you off with his lips on yours, kissing you passionately. He pulled your body so close against his, he could feel your heartbeat.

Now he feels his heart breaking in his chest.

Maybe it’s the ache in his chest, maybe it’s the alcohol in his system or maybe it’s just a combination of both that makes him break down in Eddie Munson’s van. Startling the man who was bobbing his head to the music until he heard Steve’s quiet sob. Stopping at the red light, he furrows his brows and looks over at Steve.

“Uh– you good?” He asks. He feels a little stupid to ask him that, clearly, Steve is feeling anything but good. He taps his fingers against the steering wheel and presses his lips together. How does he comfort a man that he doesn’t even like?

Steve cries softly, the shame isn’t there yet, right now, he doesn’t care that he is crying in front of Eddie who could tell everyone that King Steve broke down in his car while listening to David Bowie.

“Need a tissue?” Eddie asks even though he knows he doesn’t have any in his van.

Steve just shakes his head, clearly wanting to be left alone.

Eddie nods to himself, taking a deep breath, he sighs. Eddie knows why he is crying, it doesn’t take him long to figure it out. The moment he saw him getting drunk at the Hideout, he just knew.

He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the drive over to Steve’s house. The music and Steve’s soft cries sound through the van. A part of Eddie pities Steve, the other part doesn’t – after all, it’s all his own fault.

He pulls up into Steve’s driveway, still remembering the way to his house from the last party he threw back in august when he had first talked to you. He stops the car and turns down the music a little.

“We’re here.”

Steve nods. He wipes the tears away and he reaches for the door handle but he doesn’t leave, not yet. His eyes fall on the note lying on the floor, it must’ve slipped out from his notebook. He instantly recognizes your handwriting and his heart drops a little when he realizes that you are writing them for someone else now. It’s not affectionate or romantic, the note only says ‘good luck on the test today. Can’t wait for the milkshakes you promised!’ Next to a smiley.

“I miss her.”

Eddie didn’t expect to hear those words from him. He leans back in his seat.

“I-I miss her so much,” he whispers. “I-I don’t know what to do without her. I want her back.”

“You have a girlfriend, man. You left y/n for her,” Eddie mumbles. “Do you even know what you want?”

Steve feels the bile rising in his throat. He feels sick.

“I do now, b-but it’s too late.”

Eddie glances at him. The look of sadness and the tears are genuine and so are his words but there isn’t anything that he could say that could make Steve feel better. He doesn’t deserve you, you are too good for him and you have suffered enough to give him another chance to break you again.

“I don’t know what you wanna hear, dude. You broke her heart and you did it in such a fucked up way too, there’s no coming back from that.”

Steve isn’t sure about what he wanted to hear but it’s definitely not that.

“Just leave her alone, you’re only making things worse,” Eddie sighs as he thinks about you. “Go home, Steve.”

Steve sniffles, he opens the door and nods.

“And don’t ruin the night for her tomorrow.”

Steve’s eyes widen, he looks at him through the tears. “She's coming?”

Eddie nods, “yeah, her friends convinced her to come.” He can see the look in Steve’s eyes, it’s the same one he sees in your eyes. He loves you, which makes everything so much more confusing. Why did he leave you for someone else when he loves you so much?

Steve blinks. He looks down for a moment, staring at the note that makes his heart ache. “Oh okay,” he whispers. “T-Thanks for driving me home.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, this is the most kindness he had ever shown to him.

“Don’t mention it,” he mumbles. He narrows his eyes at him. Steve doesn’t move yet. The look on his face tells him that he wants to say more.

“Spit it out, dude.”

Steve looks up. Tears continue to brim in his eyes, the words are strangled in his throat. He takes a few deep breaths as he tries to stay calm.

“T-Take care of her?”

Eddie wants to tell him that you are capable of taking care of yourself but he decides against it. He nods. Even though he can’t understand why Steve did what he did, he can imagine the self hatred and the sadness he is feeling. A flicker of sympathy flashes in Eddie’s eyes.

“I will.”

Steve almost breaks down when he thinks of your words again, of the way you cried when you begged for him to leave, when you called him bullshit.

He walks away when he feels like breaking down again.

He fumbles with the keys, almost dropping them when his hands begin to shake. He manages to open the door, he steps inside and closes it. Leaning against it, he drops the floor and buries his face in his hands, a broken sob leaves his lips.

He knows he has to let you go, the way you let him go but how?

How?

You stare at your reflection in the full length mirror. You apply the red lipstick that Chrissy convinced you to get when you stopped by the drug store after you bought the dress that you had caught your eye the last time you went shopping with them. A black, glittery dress. It’s not too tight but it’s not a wide one either, though it fits your body perfectly. The straps are thin and it has a cut on the side. You love it. It’s not something you would usually wear, you always opted for the colorful dresses but, you feel like it’s time to switch things up.

How you let them convince you to come to the dance after all? You have no idea but the thought of spending another night filled with tears made you feel miserable.

Heather is standing behind you with the curling iron as she finishes off the rest of your hairstyle.

Some Christmas song is playing on the radio, the room smells like a mix of hairspray and perfume.

“Can I ask you something?” You ask as you stop applying the lipstick.

She hums, glancing at you through your mirror.

Heather purses her lips, she pulls the curling iron away from your hair and twists the wave.

“Is it just me or is Chrissy being weird towards me?”

“What do you mean?” She asks. But you can see the knowing look in her eyes, you know she – they are both not telling you something.

She runs her fingers through your hair and smooths down your waves and applies more hairspray.

“She’s just, I don’t know. I feel like she’s keeping something from me,” you mumble. “And she seemed so sad when I agreed to go with you.”

Heather hesitates to speak up. You can tell that she is trying to come up with a lie.

“She’s probably just sad because she has to go with Jason Carver.”

You look down at your painted nails and nod, “yeah, I guess.”

“Which I totally get, who would want to go with him?” Heather tries to change the topic, you know she is.

“Literally no one,” you snort. “But he will probably be the new King of Hawkins High once Steve and Billy graduate and the naive freshman girls will throw themselves at him,” you say with a disgusted look on your face.

“God, that’s a disgusting thought,” Heather says. “Let’s talk about something else – look at you,” she smirks as she leans down, placing her finger under your chin, she raises your head, “queen of Haw–”

“Don’t say that,” you groan as you tilt your head up to look at her.

She chuckles and ruffles your hair a little. “You look amazing, now get your ass into that dress and let’s go. Maybe Munson will show up for you and steal you for a dance,” she wiggles her brows.

You roll your eyes but you can’t fight the smile off your face.

“Shut up,” you mumble. You reach for your half finished drink. Maybe it’s not a good idea to drink alcohol but you need it, right now. You don’t plan on getting drunk, just a little tipsy to make it through the night.

You both finish getting ready, you put your dresses on and take a few polaroid pictures in front of the fairy lights in your room. You throw a mint into your mouth and spray more perfume on yourself, hoping that your mom won’t smell the wine on you.

She doesn’t notice it or at least, it seems like she doesn’t. She takes more pictures of you and Heather in front of the Christmas tree before you leave.

The school hall is bustling with people, loud music is playing and everything is decorated in gold, red and green colors – fitting the Christmas season. Your arm is linked with Heather’s. She seems excited, you feel overwhelmed.

The lights are flashing, girls in colorful dresses rush past you with their dates. You look around, trying to spot Chrissy but you don’t see her anywhere. You sigh, the first few minutes of a big event are always the most awkward ones.

Where do you stand? Where do you sit? Who do you talk to? Is it too early to dance? Is it too early to leave?

“Hey, are you okay?” Heather asks.

You nod, smiling at her.

“You seem a little overwhelmed.”

“I’m fine, I-I just need something to drink.”

“A drink?” A deeper voice asks. One that instantly makes you roll your eyes.

Billy steps in front of you with a smirk on his face, he eyes you up and down before he looks over at Heather, checking her out as well. He is wearing a tux, the button down underneath the jacket is almost fully unbuttoned.

“You look slutty, Billy.” You joke, “you’re lucky Mrs. Myers isn’t around or you’d be sent home for violating the dress code.”

He chuckles darkly, leaning closer to you, he holds up one finger, “the slutty look is exactly what I was going for.”

“As always,” you snort.

“Do you wanna dance?” Billy asks you.

“No thanks but Heather wants to dance.”

She turns to you with wide eyes and red cheeks.

“I know you want to,” you whisper into her ear before you pull away and place her hand into Billy’s, who smirks at you.

“I’ll drown you in the punch if you don’t treat her well.”

He only laughs in amusement, clearly not taking the threat seriously.

“Y/n?” Heather glares at you.

“Have fun, babe.”

You know all about her not so secret crush on Billy – she is good at hiding it but you saw right through it.

You make your way over to the snack table. Waving at some of the girls from the cheer squad who are taking pictures with their dates.

A huge bowl is in the middle of the table, filled with red liquid and fresh fruit. You wonder if someone spiked it with alcohol yet. You pour some of it into a cup and take a sip. Definitely spiked. You down the rest of the drink and pour yourself a second cup.

“Hey.”

You freeze. You stare down at your drink. Yeah, you definitely need the alcohol tonight. You haven’t talked to him since that night, you sat next to him during English class today and you had submitted the essay together but you didn’t talk and you hoped that it would stay that way. You didn’t want to talk to him anymore.

“Careful with the punch, Tommy spiked it.”

You turn around to face him, his eyes widen a little when he takes in the sight of you. He looks you up and down, not in the same way Billy did but in a way that leaves your skin crawling and your heart racing.

He is wearing a black tuxedo with a red bow tie. His hair looks amazing as always but his eyes are filled with sadness.

“Good,” you mumble as you drink the spiked punch.

“Y-You look beautiful,” Steve says. His heart flutters, you steal his breath away. The dark eyeshadow makes your eye color more prominent. Your red lips look so kissable and the dress looks like it was made for you. You are perfect.

“Where’s your girlfriend, Steve?” You sigh. You refuse to look into his eyes, knowing that it will only make things worse.

He blinks, furrowing his brows. He looks over your shoulder to where she’s standing with Jonathan, smiling at him. “She’s uh–” he stops talking when he sees you walking away. He sighs, clenching his hand into a fist, “shit..”

You already feel like going home – you knew you would run into him, you still weren’t prepared, you never are. You are sick of the feeling he leaves you with whenever you see him. You are so over it.

You take a seat at your assigned table and look around, finally spotting Chrissy in the crowd. She’s dancing with Jason, you can see the forced smile even from a mile away.

You can’t stand him. You always hated the way he treats others – the way he thinks that he is so much better than everyone else and the way he thinks he can have anyone he wants. The way he uses Mrs. Cunningham’s liking towards him to force himself into Chrissy’s life, knowing that she doesn’t actually like him.

You relax a little when you see Heather heading towards Chrissy, pulling her away from Jason so that they can dance together. You lean back in the chair and sip on your drink.

You wish you would have stayed at home.

You wish you would have listened to Eddie when he said that this sucks.

You feel like a loser, sitting by yourself at this empty table, sipping one drink after the other as your eyes continuously move back to him. You see him with her and it breaks your heart all over again. By now, you should be used to it and you were – you have gotten used to this. To him not being yours anymore, to him loving someone else, to him being with someone else but then he turned everything upside down.

His confession left you in shambles. He had broken everything, again. All the strength you have gathered since the day he left you, he took it all away from you with a few words and a kiss that almost happened.

He loves you, that’s what he said. But he is here, holding her in his arms, kissing her as though he didn’t try to kiss you, two nights ago. He is dancing with her, whispering things into her and holding her tightly.

None of it makes sense to you.

If he loves you so much, then why is he dancing with her as though nothing ever happened?

Why is he still with her?

Is she a rebound now or were you just the backup plan all along?

The girl he’d come back to once things with her go downhill?

Are they already going downhill?

Is that why he told you he still loves you?

So that he has someone to come back to?

You feel so miserable. The longer you stare at him. You begin to feel worse and worse.

Not even a dance with your friends helps you lift your mood. Not even the compliments and the nice things that people have said to you tonight, make you feel better. Nothing makes you feel better but you force a smile on your face, a happy one. The way you always do and you dance with Heather and Chrissy, holding their hands and pretending to have the time of your life when all you wanna do is go home and cry yourself to sleep.

It’s when you find yourself sitting on the bleachers with a sad expression on your face, ready to say ‘fuck it’ and go home, that your night takes a turn for the better.

You don’t hear the footsteps coming your way, you are too busy looking at all the happy couples. Someone clears their throat.

“May the Master of Dungeons have a dance with the ethereal Queen of Hawkins High?”

Your eyes widen and a smile tugs at your lips, you straighten up and turn to look at Eddie who playfully bows in front of you with a smile on his face, getting a few weird looks from the other, which neither of you care about.

A giggle falls from your lips, “Eddie!”

“Come on, give me your hand, Queen.”

You laugh and place your hand in his. He pulls you up and smiles at you when your eyes lock. “Look at you,” he beams. He raises your hand over your head, “give me a twirl,” he winks.

You roll your eyes, playfully. Giving him the twirl that he asked for, you can’t help but giggle when he begins to whistle.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart!”

He grabs your waist when you stumble a little. He instantly smells the alcohol on you.

“Thank you, Eddie.”

He eyes you with a smile on his face, “love the smokey eyes and the dress – honestly, you look like a witchy fairy.”

“A witchy fairy?” You laugh, tilting your head.

He puts his hand over his heart, “I mean that as a compliment – a badass witchy, fairy, shit, I’m gonna have to create a character based on you now.”

You shake your head, laughing at the concentrated look on his face. He is wearing a white button down, a few buttons are left undone, one of his tattoos is peeking out from beneath the shirt, and a silver chain is around his neck. His curly hair looks as good as always.

“You look amazing, Eddie.”

He raises his brows in surprise, his dark eyes light up.

“Thank you, badass fairy witch,” he winks. “Look, I stole these pants from Wayne, I have none without holes in them,” he laughs, pointing to the black pants he is wearing.

You can’t even help but giggle.

“I thought this isn’t your thing,” you say. Gesturing to the dance.

He shrugs, “yeah well, I thought you could use a dance partner.”

Your gaze softens. A feeling of warmth and comfort rushes through you. “You came for me?”

He holds your hand tighter, “who else would I come here for?” He asks as he looks into your big eyes.

“My knight in shining armor,” you tease.

He snorts at your words, “come on.” He says as he pushes you in front of him and leads you into the middle of the dance floor, pushing some jock out of the way. You can feel the eyes on you, you can see the weird looks from the cheerleaders when they see you with Eddie. It only makes you scoff at them.

A squeal leaves your lips when Eddie suddenly twirls you again, laughing when you hold onto his hand tightly. He wraps his arms around you from behind and leans in, “let me guess, you had some of that spiked punch?” He whispers into your ear.

"Absolutely,” you giggle and turn around to face him. You place your hands on his shoulders.

“Bad girl,” he smirks, tapping your nose.

“I learned from the best.” You tap his nose back, making him laugh.

Steve watches you and Eddie with an irritated look on his face. You seem so carefree and happy with him. So familiar. Like you have known each other for a long time already. You melt into his touch so easily and laugh at whatever he is whispering into your ear.

The feeling in his chest is sickening. He knows it’s jealousy. He can’t do anything about it though. The girl in his arms is his, you aren’t – not anymore.

Every breath you take by The Police starts playing. Some leave the dance floor, some stay to slow dance with their partner. Steve pulls Nancy closer and looks over her shoulder to see what you will do.

Eddie pulls you closer and you wrap your arms around him, you lay your head on his chest, melting into him so easily. It breaks Steve’s heart a little. He feels tense, it’s hard to see you with someone else, even when Eddie said that there is nothing but friendship between the two of you, it certainly looks more than just that to Steve.

You don’t even notice the weird looks you are getting from the people around you. You are only focused on him. The thought of you and Eddie somehow hurts more than the thought of you and Billy. Because Billy would be nothing more than a hookup but Eddie? Eddie is a good guy, one who will treat you well and love you the way he couldn’t.

“Is everything okay?” Nancy asks as she lifts her head to look at him.

“Yeah,” he mumbles with a frown on his face. “Why?”

Her blue eyes are filled with confusion, she shrugs, “you seem tense.”

“I’m fine, Nance,” he says, softly.

“Okay,” she smiles.

When she lays her head on his chest, he squeezes her and looks back up. His breath hitches in his throat when his eyes lock with yours as you rest your chin on Eddie’s shoulder, who’s back is turned towards him. For a moment, you look at each other. Steve’s heart begins to beat faster in his chest, the longer you look at each other. He longs for you. This, all of this, feels so wrong. He shouldn’t be here with her and you shouldn’t be there with him.

But while his eyes soften, your eyes harden.

His are filled with longing and sadness.

Yours are filled with indifference.

You look at each other for a few long seconds and then you take one final look at him before you tear your eyes away from him. Somehow, that felt like a stab to his heart because that moment felt like the end. The realization that it is truly over makes his blood run cold. He feels paralyzed by the pain that he had caused himself.

Eddie tightens his hold on you when he feels how tense you are, he looks down at you with a look of concern in his eyes.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

"Yes, please."

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