Review: Bullet Train

Ever since I saw the trailer to this movie I was instantly hooked...then I decided not to watch it until three months later, but let's ignore that fact! Point is I finally watched it and I have a lot to say!

This movie is absolutely incredible! Easily one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. It's incredibly inventive, funny, full of action, and never once did I feel it was getting boring. And that's saying something since the entire movie takes place on a train. I really admire a movie that can take place in a single setting and continue to be engaging.

The movie's character is Ladybug, played by Brad Pitt, who's tasked with simply getting a briefcase and then getting off the train at the next stop. Simple as that, but obviously it can't be that easy. Ladybug doesn't get all the screen time, we also have Lemon and Tangerine, the two owners of the briefcase.

Lemon and Tangerine are tasked by The White Death to escort his son and the briefcase to Kyoto. We then have characters like the Prince and the Father, also known as Yuichi. The Prince is the daughter of The White Death and is pushed Yuichi's son off of a building just to get him onto the train to frame him as an assassin so she can kill her dad.

Basically, the plot is kind of complex just trying to explain in text, but it makes a lot of sense when watching it. In short, everyone is connected to everyone else and they were all hired by The White Death in hopes they would all kill each other.

I know I went on a bit of a ramble, but I got it out of my system. The actual movie though was incredible. As I mentioned above it takes place entirely on a train. I genuinely felt that this was incredibly original from most everything I've seen recently. A lot of movies have been feeling really stale lately and this honestly felt new.

That's not to say it was all good though. While I did genuinely enjoy all of the movie, not a single thing was boring, I did feel like there was a ton of exposition. Almost all of the characters had some sort of backstory explaining how they got to the train, or where they were during a certain part in the story. Again, these parts of the movie were entertaining, especially Lemon and Tangerine's, but I just felt it odd that every character needed a backstory.

With all that being said though, this honestly was an almost perfect movie. One I would go back and watch with friends at almost any time. This is one of those movies you could sit down and watch on repeat and just have fun with it. None of the characters really take themselves seriously and it's just fun.

It's a definite must watch.

Review: Ultimate Avengers

With the recent MCU shows and movies not being all that good, I decided to go back and watch the very first Avengers movie I had ever seen and what really got me into the Avengers in the first place. The Ultimate Avengers movie from 2006.

I have always been a fan of Marvel and superheroes even before this movie, but this is what really nailed it for me. Even before going back to this movie I had pretty much remembered most of it even after not seeing it in 16 years. I wanted to see if it held up as well as I remembered or if it is just the nostalgia that is making me remember it as fondly as I do.

The movie starts out in WW2 with Steve Rogers fighting the Nazis, more specifically the main enemy of this movie Herr Kleiser. This segment isn't very long and ends with Cap kicking Kleiser off of an exploding rocket and Cap falling into water where he would eventually freeze only to be found by Nick Fury and Betty Ross.

This is also where we first see Bruce Banner and we learn he's got a bit of...I guess you could call it an obsession with Cap. We learn later it's because he thinks that if they figure out the super soldier serum they used for Cap that he might be able to control the Hulk. I'd also like to go ahead and say I actually don't really like this version of Bruce Banner. As a kid I didn't really care and I just liked big green guy punches, but now I like both Bruce and the Hulk and this is probably my least favorite version of Bruce. The Hulk is still great though.

The first 40-ish minutes of this movie are pretty slow. It's basically just Nick Fury assembling the team which consists of most of who we'd eventually see in the MCU; Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Natasha, etc. The only differences are Giant Man, which does later appear in the MCU, and Wasp.

Bruce does actually gain control of the Hulk, but only for a small period of time and then, along with fighting the Chitauri the other Avengers have to fight the Hulk as well. Unlike in the MCU Hulk actually picks up Thor's hammer and uses it against him which I honestly love.

While there's not a ton to say about this movie I do think it holds up, but only as something fun to watch. If I wanted to watch an Avengers movie I'd probably not go back to this one and I'd probably go to one of the first three MCU movies or Civil War. It's not bad for what it is, but definitely shows it age. Perhaps the comic is better. With that being said though, I do recommend it if you've never seen it. It would give you a better understanding of what the original MCU movies took inspiration from.

Review: Halloween Ends (2022)

I have been a fan of the Halloween movies for as long as I can remember. Even after how bad Halloween Kill was, I was still pretty excited for this movie. After all, it was the final movie, surely they were going to have some kind of amazing fight, tons of kills, and a lot of screentime for Michael....at least that's what I thought going into this movie.

As you can't assume I was completely wrong. This movie had pretty much none of that. Halloween Kills had pretty no screen time for Laurie so this movie decided to do the same thing, but now to Michael, you know, the character this movie is about. Instead, we focus mainly on a character named Corey Cunningham. He's hated by the town because he accidentally killed a kid.

I guess I should mention this movie takes place 4 years after the last one and Michael had gone into hiding. Anyway, Corey just so happens to be the one that found him, completely by accident of course. Does Michael kill him? Almost, but he looks into his eyes and I guess sees that he's killed someone so he lets him live. The movie never really explains why Michael lets Corey live and it apparently doesn't really care.

The point is, Corey is then built up to be the next Haddonfield killer. He even works alongside Michael to kill two people. The only two people Michael kills in the entire movie I should add. Eventually, Corey decides he needs Michael's mask so he literally just goes and takes it. This new character just walks up to Michael, basically just pushes him over and takes the mask. That simple.

Michael Myers has been built up as this unkillable, unstoppable monster for two movies, three if you count the 1978 movie, and he's made into a literal pushover in this one. Either way, Corey then decides to dress like Michael and go killing people eventually making his way to Laurie where he then kills himself. No fight scene, no nothing. Just gets shot in the shoulder and then decides to stab himself in the throat.

Corey was introduced as if he was important to the story, as if they were going to do something with him, and then didn't. He was literally nobody. He wasn't related to anyone, he wasn't connected to anything. They just tried to make a new Michael, but then killed him making the entire story with him pointless. I genuinely have no idea why he was in the movie when it should have all been Michael.

As a stand-alone movie I think it works, I genuinely do think the story with Corey is pretty good. I do think that the story about a person accidentally killing someone and slowly turning into a killer just because of the constant hate they get was good. But because this is a Halloween movie, and the finale of a trilogy it just doesn't work. This isn't meant to be a movie about Corey, it's meant to be a movie about Michael and we really didn't get to see much of him until about 15-20 minutes until the end of the movie.

Review: Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus (2002)

Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus is one of those classic PS2 platformers that I had never actually played up until now. My first Sly game started at Sly 2: Band of Thieves.

I kind of went into this game expecting it to be not all that great just basing it off of some small bit of gameplay I had seen a few years ago, but I was pleasantly surprised. I went into it knowing that it plays somewhat differently than Sly 2, but I wasn't sure how different. This game plays like your more typical platformers, think Crash or Spyro, whereas Sly 2 is almost more mission-based. I really enjoyed that.

The level design in the game, for the most part, is good. I had a great time in the platforming levels. But because this is a platformer game in the early 2000s you know they can't just have a platformer game that consists of only platforming levels and that's where the horrible levels come in. There are a few different types of levels in this game other than platforming. You have your obvious turret levels, driving levels, twin-stick shooters, and boss fights. And almost all of them are horrible.

The driving missions involve you racing the van as Murray around a track three times to win a key. The controls are incredibly slippery and feel awful to use. To make it worse these are mandatory to progress. There are only a couple turret sections, but they involve you leading Murray to the end of a level and shooting any enemy that comes near him. Not the worse turret levels I've played, but a turret section is still a turret section. The twin-twin stick shooter levels have a few versions to them. The last one involves Bently "hacking" minigame which is improved upon in the next game. The first one involves you shooting 40 crabs to keep them from taking any chests. Annoying, boring, and just not fun.

The bosses. I think I really only enjoyed a single boss fight and that was the one against the Panda King. Maybe that's common since Panda Kind made a return in Sly 3. I genuinely felt like all of the bosses were poorly designed. I honestly have no idea how to beat Muggshot if you don't have the roll ability, something you unlock by finding clues throughout the levels. I say that because he shoots you almost the second he sees you and it's seemingly impossible to dodge without the roll. Clockwerk, while not broken by any means, was just another turret section, but this time with a jetpack. Not to mention he was one of the easiest bosses in the entire game.

I will say though, even though I didn't enjoy the boss fights, I really did enjoy each one of the characters. Except for Clockwerk. Now this is not the fault of the writers at Suckerpunch, this is all personal, but I honestly believe that this game ruined what I had always seen Clockwerk to be. As I said earlier, my first Sly game was Sly 2. In that game Clockwerk was not a character with a voice, he was purely just a character that was killed in the last game, and talked about as this horrible, intimidating thing that killed Sly's parents. You need to get back all the Clockwerk parts because in the wrong hands they can do horrible damage just because of how horrible Clockwerk is. He's the character that, unintentionally, paralyzed Bently So I've always seen Clockwerk as this intimidating monster that's been around forever. And then I get to the final level of this game only for him to sound the way he does, act the way he does, and genuinely ruin all expectations I ever had for him. Maybe I'm being too unfair, but that's just how I felt toward him.

Either way with all that being said I did think that the game was great. There are a few things that really don't hold up, but the platforming is still great, and for the most part all the characters are great. The music, while not the iconic jazz we get in Sly 2, it's still great.

Review: The Thing (1982)

The Thing was a pretty good movie. I went into this movie knowing the general idea of it. An alien disguises itself as the people it's around and tries to kill the rest of them. You may be familiar with some certain games that use this concept, but The Thing came out first.

I did enjoy the movie though. I actually didn't know Keith David was in it so hearing his voice was kind of a surprise. I also enjoyed that you never really saw the alien itself. The only time you did see the alien was when it had already become part of one of the people so it was some weird amalgamation of human and alien. It was less of an actual alien like the Yautja or the Xenomorphs and more like a parasite that takes over the body. It's an interesting take on the alien movie genre.

However, I thought the movie overall was pretty slow and just kind of boring. Obviously, it had some great scenes and was a great idea, but the movie itself I thought was just kind of boring to sit through, even the ending battle. I felt like a lot of the movie felt the same, a lot of accusing, burning, etc, and all of it was really slow to boot.

The effects were really great, I do love some practical effects, but I just don't think that can save this movie from being nothing more than lackluster.

Review: The Shining (1980)

I went into this movie with low expectations. After people had hyped up The Exorcist only to be let down by it I didn't really expect much out of this, but I had an incredible experience. The hype around this movie is completely warranted.

The movie is about this family, Jack, Wendy, and their son Danny who live in this hotel called The Overlook for the Winter. Jack is a writer who slowly starts going mad as the movie progresses. Danny is able to see these visions, ghosts, and other things inside of the hotel and knows something bad is going to happen to him and his mom.

The setup is really well paced and done great. I do think that Danny's imaginary friend, or psychic person, or whatever Tony is meant to be was a bit cringy, at least the way they portrayed him. Maybe it worked better in the book, but I didn't think it worked all that great in the movie.

I thought the acting was great. Jack Nicholson is amazing in just about everything he's in so it's no surprise he's amazing in this as well. Shelley Duvall was also just as great, although I can't mention her acting and not mention how horribly she was treated on the set of this movie. In a lot of scenes in this movie her acting is great and she seems genuinely terrified and that's because she actually is genuinely terrified. This also goes for Scatman Crothers. Kubrick knows how to make a great film, but it does not need to take abusing people to do it.

With all that being said. I thought the movie was incredible. It definitely does deserve to be called a horror classic. I could totally see myself watching this one again with a few friends one day.

Review: The Ring (2002)

What can I say about this movie other than it was absolutely awful. I take back absolutely everything I said about the Japanese original after seeing this movie.

The American Ring follows a lot of the same story as the Japanese version. Four teenagers die from watching the tape and a reporter, our main character, decides to investigate. The difference is that the Japanese version does this so much better. The Japanese movie knows how to do suspense a lot better, a perfect example is at the very start of the movie with the two girls discussing the tape when the phone rings. Just the way the camera cuts and the way everything is framed and shot makes the American version not scary or even tense in any way at all.

I mentioned that the Japanese version wasn't really scary, moreso a suspenseful mystery. The only real spooky part was at the end when you actually see Sadako. This movie is similar in that way, the problem is that they ruin the suspense, and they ruin the one actual scary part when we see Sadako, now named Samara.

In the Japanese version all we ever saw of Sadako was her eye, that's it. That's all we ever needed to see for her to be scary. The American version decided they needed to make her look like a monster and that completely ruins what made her scary.

That's not to say all of it was bad, there was at least one spooky scene that I thought worked better than the Japanese move and that's the scene where the mom finds Katie, Tomoko in the original, in the closet. I thought it was weird that she was found in her room in the original since we see her die in the kitchen, but this version shows her die in her room so it makes sense she is found in her closet. Plus, I thought the way they made her look in this version was a lot creepier than in the Japanese version.

Overall, I thought almost everything about this movie was worse. The characters were unlikable, the tension was worse, and the design for Sadako was bad. Everything about this was just a complete mess and honestly just not good. I know a lot of people say the Japanese version is better and I can see why now.

Review: Ringu (1998)

Ring is one of those horror classics that everyone always says you have to watch. For those that somehow have no idea what this movie is about, it's about a VHS tape that kills you in seven days after you watch it basically.

I had always heard the Japanese version is so much scarier than the American remake, but I honestly didn't think this movie was scary at all. I get how the idea of this movie could be scary, having only seven days to find a way not to die from a scary ghost girl, yea that's pretty scary, but the movie itself has maybe a single spooky moment and that's at the very end.

I thought the movie itself was pretty good though. It was an interesting mystery movie for sure. The two main characters trying to figure out the mystery of the type, why it kills people, and how they can stop it. Not to mention the twist at the end which I actually didn't see coming somehow.

I think overall the movie is a pretty good mystery movie but falls completely flat on being any kind of horror movie.

Review: The Exorcist (1973)

The Exorcist is one of those classic horror movies that everyone always says you need to see. It's also one I've wanted to watch for a very long time, but never got around to watching it until now and somehow never had it spoiled for me. The movie is about a 12 year old girl, Regan, that gets possed by a demon. That is the very basic summary.

I was not at all expecting the movie to go the way it did though. Most horror movies follow a pretty linear story structure without any secondary plotline, but not this one. The Exorcist has the main story with Regan and her mom for the first hour or so, but alongside it you have a story about a priest and his struggle being a priest. He's struggling being away from his mother and he hates that she's there all alone.

Not only that at the very start we see this other priest in Iraq who we don't see again until the very end of the movie. All these plots come together very nicely and mesh really well.

The movie itself holds up really well for being almost 50 years old. The effects are still really well done, mainly because they don't try to do anything crazy like Star Wars did.

However, some people would say this movie is the scariest movie ever made, but that is not true. In fact it's far from the truth. I wouldn't really say this movie is scary, if anything it's unnerving at best.

Linda Blair, the actor for Ragen was really great. It's only recently that child actors have gotten really great, but Regan was genuinely one of the best characters in the entire movie. Unfortunately, she was treated pretty poorly on set.

In conclusion, I think The Exorcist is a pretty good movie that deserves the title of being a classic horror movie. I do think it should be seen at least once, but I don't think it's one of the best or scariest movies out there like people claim it to be, but it's definitely not bad at all.

Review: Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Thor is the first MCU character to have four standalone movies and shockingly most of them are pretty good. I can't say much on The Dark World because I don't really remember much about it, plus this isn't about that, this is about Love and Thunder.

What did I think about this movie? Going off of what most people said you'd probably think I didn't like it. Except that's not true! I actually enjoyed this movie quite a bit. I think this is one of the best Thor movies we've had in a long time, even outdoing Ragnarok.

I loved that they decided to go the route of having Jane Foster become Thor, or at least get the powers. Even though I knew the inevitable outcome that was going to happen to her from the very first trailer, I still thought it was a cool way to bring her back and send her off. Not only that, it was a really interesting way to use the broken Mjolnir that we've never seen before. Thought it was a bit weird and "plot armor" that it just magically started working again when Jane needed it, but Thor couldn't use it anymore, but we'll just look over that as being exactly that...magic.

The soundtrack was great, just like in Ragnarok they went with a more 80s vibe with the look and the sound. The soundtrack consists mostly of Aerosmith which fits surprisingly well. I also really loved the new suit design for Thor. The blue and gold looked incredible. In fact, Thor had a few different suits in this and they all looked great.

Christian Bale as Gorr the God Butcher was absolutely fantastic. Christian Bale is always incredible in any role he plays and I love seeing him play any type of villain and I think he nailed this role perfectly. It's the perfect balance between scary and intimidating. It's a similar character to Patrick Bateman, but surprisingly with more compassion. I have zero complaints about Gorr. Not to mention one of the last fights in the shadow where it was mostly black and white with a bit of color. The Marvel movies are not known for being the best looking movies, but this is easily one of the coolest looking scenes in any Marvel movie to date.

However, that's not to say the movie was perfect because I do have a few complaints. The biggest one being the screaming goats. I know the MCU movies like to add more comedy to their movies and I'm fine with it, but this just wasn't funny, it was annoying. Taika Waititi knows how to make something funny and I know he knows when something is funny, but this joke just overstayed its welcome. Not to mention the "joke" is over 10 years old.

I'm also a bit worried for the next movie. At the end of the movie Thor has a kid, not his kid, but Gorr's kid. So now Thor just has a kid he has to take care of. It could be an interesting concept, but I feel like it won't be done properly. Either that or they'll just do a time skip and the kid will be aged up or just completely gone by the next movie.

Either way, I thought this movie was great. I genuinely don't understand the hate towards this movie because I honestly thought it was one of the best Thor movies we've had in a while.

Review: Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

This is one of those movies I've been meaning to get to for a long time, but never did. Recently a video game was announced and it really gave me that kick to watch it and I was not disappointed because this movie is a trip.

One thing I love more than a movie with a gimmick is a movie that uses that gimmick well. IT has a clown, but that's all. There's nothing "clowny" about Pennywise other than the fact he looks like a clown. He doesn't really kill anyone in a creative "clown" way. This movie is different.

They make sure to let you know that these characters are clowns. Their spaceship is a circus tent, when they kill people they wrap them up in a cotton candy cocoon, they shoot people with a popcorn gun, they eat people with a squiggle straw, and a ton more examples.

Ok, but how is the actual movie? Absolutely incredible. The movie knew exactly what it was and didn't try to be anything it wasn't. It knew it was a goofy clown movie and played directly into that and I love it for that.

The movie is about a town being attacked by alien clowns. The main character, Mike Tobacco, and his girlfriend Debbie stumble on the Klown's ship in the middle of a field and it all unfolds from there. Mike and the local police officer Dave, Debbie's ex-boyfriend (because of course he is) end up together for most of the end of the movie.

A lot of the movie is Dave and Mike trying to find the Klowns in town, and us seeing what the Klowns are doing. There's one scene where two of the Klowns are destroying a grocery store just wandering around.

Honestly, I don't think there was a single scene in this movie I didn't like. There is one spot I didn't much care for, but it's such a small thing that was completely irrelevant within just a few minutes that it's not even worth mentioning.

I will mention though, this movie was made in 1988 and there are a few jokes that some people might not find very funny, or just outright distasteful. A single native American joke and a few "freak show" jokes, one specifically poking fun at eating disorders. These were at the very start of the movie and there was nothing else like it throughout the entire thing, but I know some people might not like it and would like to know about it before going it.

But, I enjoyed the movie. Not a perfect movie, not my favorite slasher movie, but a fun movie to watch. One I would gladly sit down and watch again with friends.

Review: The Batman (2022)

So I got around to watching The Batman last night and I honestly believe that this has got to be the best Batman movie I've ever seen.

I was a bit skeptical when Robert Pattinson was cast as Batman, but he's easily in my top three favorite Batman actors now. The same goes for basically everyone cast in the movie, Paul Dano as the Riddler, Andy Serkis as Alfred, and John Turturro Falcone. That's not to say everyone was perfectly cast though.

I didn't mind Jeffrey Wright as Gordon, but this portrayal of Jim was not that enjoyable to me personally. It was a different one we've seen from any movie or even TV show so far. For a lot of the movie he was right there alongside Batman instead of with the other police. It's an interesting idea and could work, but something about it just didn't work for me. Then we have Colin Farrell as the Penguin. This one is a bit of a win-lose for me. I absolutely loved this portrayal of the Penguin. Not really a "villain", more just a guy that works along with the others and still operated the Iceberg Lounge. One of the best versions I've seen. But I hated his design.

At least it's a better design than what we got in Gotham.

The main villain of the movie is The Riddler. I didn't much care for his design either, but I understand why it was changed. A guy running around in a green tuxedo covered in question marks wouldn't really fit the vibe they were going for.

The fight scenes in this were incredible. Especially the very first one that happens about 10 minutes into the movie. It genuinely makes you feel like Bruce is still inexperienced at the whole "Batman" thing since this is pretty early on in his "career", but also still shows that he can take out an entire group of people pretty easily.

The soundtrack is also incredible, with the theme song being one of the best, especially with the way it's used in the movie.

I also really love the way Batman is treated in this movie. In a lot of movies Batman is always told to be this scary figure that lurks in the darkness, but we never really see that, but this movie does a great job at showing just how scary and intimidating he is. He literally hides in the shadows, he walks a lot towards people and for an added touch they added boot sound effects almost like what you would hear in a cowboy movie with spurs and everything. Explaining it doesn't do it justice, it's really something you need to see for yourself.

The movie as a whole is amazing, I do hope we get to see more in the near future, especially with how this movie ended I think it sets up a great sequel that could possibly be a great way to bring in someone like Killer Croc.

Quickie: The Prince of Egypt (1998)

The Prince of Egypt is a 1998 animated movie based on the Book of Exodus from the Bible.

A lot of people will be instantly turned off by this movie because it's a movie about a story in the Bible, but please do not let that turn you away, this movie is such an underrated gem. A beautifully animated, well crafter movie, that just so happens to be about a book in the Bible.

The story follows Moses as he learns where he comes from. We follow him as he learns to have more compassion for the slaves, as he talks to the burning bush, and as the plagues are set onto Egypt

The movie is definitely one you need to put on your list of watched movies if you haven't.