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claraswritings · 11 months

Text

Conversation

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Reader

Warnings: spoilers for S1 and S2, miscommunication, (kind of) enemies to lovers, language, a few plot changes, mutual pining and one or two mentions of Jamie’s dad being a prick. Also I accidentally wrote something in this that is minorly similar to a scene in S3…but I wrote that bit AGES ago. Just signposting it as last time I didn’t someone got shitty with me

Notes: this is so much longer than I planned lmao so that explains why it took so long to post. Also not betad or spellchecked yet as it’s late here!

I don’t even know if I like this… I might delete this…

Title inspired by Conversation by Catfish and the Bottlemen

You’d been the player liaison officer at AFC Richmond for two years and for the most part, you loved your job. A lot of it involved what was referred to as “general life admin” for the players, as you sorted out everything from banks to home viewings to car collections to visas to schools for players with kids.

Most people would think looking out for a bunch of millionaire footballers would be a stressful job but you didn’t mind. The players had, for the most part, always been nice and you’d even started helping to show the new signings around, offering to recommend them restaurants or bars and you’d even become friendly with a few of them over the course of your time at the club.

Or at least until you encountered the clubs new loan signing. It had taken four weeks of his season long loan before you’d first spoken to him, and from the ten minutes he’d spent in your office, you’d gotten the same impression everyone did of him.

Jamie Tartt was undoubtedly the one of the biggest pricks you’d ever met .

Twenty minutes later than agreed, he’d sauntered in to your office, moaning about his teammates, discard the print offs of flats and houses you’d spent ages looking into for him, grabbed a card with the requested time and date of a collection of an Aston Martin you’d arranged for him without so much as a thank you, before asking if you could fix a modelling gig for him. With your arms folded across your chest, you’d firmly told him that was you were player liaison and not PR and that there was no way you’d be arranging his shirtless photoshoots or his latest perfume ad and he’d left with a comment about your job being “pointless” leaving your door wide open.

***

The next time you spoke to him was when he’d let a door swing in your face, as he stormed through the car park still furious after the loss to Crystal Palace. You held back from walking out as you could over hear him rant to the reporter from the Independent about…everything. An exclusive straight from the car park, Jamie Tartt was a journalists dream.

“Hey.” You caught up to him in the car park, “Talking to the press? Really?”

“Do I know you?” Jamie stared at you with a blank expression “Are you a fan? How did you get in here? You want a picture or something?”

“A fan? Of you? No. I work for the club. I’m the one that arranged your car, your flat, your VIP booth at the bar you’re off to. Most people say you’re welcome by the way.” You waved an arm in the direction of his sports car.

“Right.” Jamie continued to stare at you like you’d grown a second head before shrugging “Did you need something?”

Un-fucking-believable. In that moment, you’d never disliked him more.

You considered telling him how stupid it was to run his mouth off to the press, how much it would hurt his teammates, his manager, the fans to hear their star player dragging the club down but as you watched him chew his gum so casually, you realised he didn’t care and it was too late, and it was probably too late. Trent Crimm was already heading back to his car, statement no doubt being composed and ready for the morning papers but it was doubtful Jamie even registered anything other than himself and his massive ego. How could you possibly expect him to care about anyone else.

“Nothing. Doesn’t matter. Don’t think you’d understand it. Have a nice night.” You turned on your heel and were safe inside your own car before you finished the sentence “Prick.”

***

Ever since your little argument in the car park, you’d made it your absolute resolution to keep your contact with him to the bare minimum until the end of his loan when he’d become whatever poor player liaison officer Man City had.

You managed this pretty effectively being that he’d decided not to train until you’d received a call from your boss late into the evening one night asking you to come by the training ground. Usually a call in the evening was one of the new players wants a dinner reservation and didn’t know where to book or occasionally ordering a cab when one of the players had forgotten what hotel they were staying in the night before a game.

You absolutely not been expecting it to be ‘please can you swing by Colins and get his spare car keys…’ Nonetheless you’d agreed.

The scene unfolding before you when arrived the training ground was like something out of a fever dream. The players celebrating on the training pitch, a burning bin obviously a major part of whatever bonding exercise Coach Lasso had come up with. A scan of the field resulted no sign of Colin. You could see Dani Rojas, running around with Bumbercatch and Richard as if he hadn’t just been in the treatment room a mere 24 hours ago and Issac downing the last of a bottle of Mezcal back and forth with Richard whilst Ted and Beard watched on, laughing as Zoreaux choked on a swig of the liquor.

Nearest you and staring into the fire, beer bottle in hand, was the last person you wanted to see. Jamie Tartt. Of course it was. It would be so typical of your luck that it would be.

“Colin about?” You resolved yourself to asking him, wiggling your hand as the spare key jangled between your fingers. “Got to give him these.”

“Inside.” Jamie nodded “He’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Humming in acknowledgment, your eyes fell to the flaming bin and curiosity got the better of you and you had to ask “Do I want to ask how he lost his keys?”

“Burnt them in that.” Jamie gestured at the flames he was staring at. When you didn’t reply, his eyes found their way to yours and he explained the whole process.

“Oh.” You were surprised. “I didn’t think team bonding would have been your thing.”

Jamie hesitated. He couldn’t argue. You were right, he hadn’t been much of a team player

“I wasn’t gonna but…thought maybe I should show my face” he shrugged, hoping you wouldn’t question his bravado. He pointed at the fire. “Do you wanna throw something in? Everyone else has.”

“I think it’s already worked…” you gestured with your arm at the field. “but yeah why not?”

You thought for a moment… you hadn’t brought anything except your phone and your own keys which… you didn’t fancy throwing in. Unlike Colin you’d have to walk home and get your spare set and walk back to the car park, which wasn’t particularly appealing in the dark.

Suddenly an idea struck you, you unclipped your necklace and extended out your hand, letting it slip, dangling in your fingertips for a few seconds before dropping it. “Hopefully this helps with the luck.”

“You don’t need luck if I’m playing.” Jame replied, a smirk on his lips. You held off rolling your eyes at his cockiness. Sometimes you really didn’t get him. Mere seconds before you’d been having a semblance of a civil conversation and then he was right back to arrogant arsehole.

“What is it?” He questioned. It had to be the first time he’d asked you anything about yourself.

“Necklace. It was my nan’s… she…died when I was 15.”

“Oh shit sorry.” It was probably the most sincere you’d ever heard him. If it had came out of anyone else’s mouth, you might have bought it as genuine. “Wasnt like anything bad, was it?”

“It was a long time ago, she was sick for a long time and…” you stopped yourself suddenly aware that this was Jamie Tartt you were talking to and any minute now, he’d probably resume his usual self centred personality. “Sorry, long story short, she passed away a while ago but… I don’t think she’d mind. Grandad was a Richmond fan.”

“What did you…put in?” you asked, swiftly changing the subject. You were half expecting the answer to be his little black book of desperate instagram girls or some signed picture of himself from one of his many magazine photoshoots. It would after all be completely on-brand for him.

“Erm…football boots, ones my mum got me. She got me into playing…” he said it trying to be casual and keep his cool. “She just wants me to enjoy playing yeah? So good motivation and that”

“I’m sure she’d be really happy for you, Jamie.” You looked over to where Colin was remerging back from the building looking extremely relived to see you. “I have to go give these to Colin. It’s why I was called out here in the first place. Have a good night.”

Truth be told, you were a little skeptical. Of both the ritual and of Jamie showing an interest in anyone else other than himself but you figured if the whole team had given the ritual a chance, maybe just maybe, Jamie Tartt had developed the capacity to care about other people.

You found out the next morning that he was on his way back to Man City when you’d received an email from his agent asking you to arrange termination of his house rental agreement

***short time skip***

When your doorbell had gone off late into Saturday afternoon a few weeks later, Jamie Tartt had been the last person you expected to see.

“Richmond said you had the stuff from my locker.” He said, leaning instantly on the door frame as soon as you answered without so much as a hello. “Said you was going to send it to the guy who does whatever it is you do at City but I called Issac, Jeff and Keeley and they’re all busy so thought come get it. Nothing better to do.”

A house visit hadn’t been on the agenda but you figured it was marginally less awkward than him swinging by the training ground so you’d taken it and had been talking to the player liaison officer at City making arrangements to send it up.

“Well I’m flattered to be your fourth choice. Coincidentally probably your first words to Pep.” You couldn’t resist the dig. Ever since he’d left, Richmond had struggled but being that he was now Man City’s problem you didn’t have to mince your words.

“Yeah well, I’ll be first choice soon. Scored today didn’t I…,” he clicked his tongue and gestured at himself. “Best goal of the match as well.”

“Wouldn’t know. I was watching Richmond.” You folded one arm over the other. A part of you enjoyed the flicker of surprise that crossed his face, but you gave him a tight smile as a somewhat attempt to be civil.

“Heard old man Roy scored yesterday. Must have taken it out of him.” Jamie rested back on the heels of his expensive trainers “Bet he’s gonna be in that ice bath for hours.”

You ignored the dig at the Richmond captain “Had the game of his life actually…like someone turned back the clock. Heard from Sam that Nate had some real words of wisdom.”

“Nate? Nathan? The kitman?” Jamie’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you in shock. “We thinking of the same guy? Him!?”

You laughed, knowing that the idea of Nate who always seemed so unassuming and quiet giving Roy Kent, footballing legend, a piece of his mind was crazy. If you’d heard it from anyone other than Sam, you’d probably have thought it was an elaborate joke.

“Apparently so.”

“Fucking hell.” His eyebrows shot up “Kinda wish I’d seen the old man’s reaction.”

“Yeah well…you weren’t…I’ll get your stuff. Probably a bit weird for you…being at a woman’s door when you haven’t slept with her.” You tapped on the door and grimaced. You knew the team would miss Jamie for his ability on the pitch.

Jamie shrugged, before he was distracted by his reflection in the window. He adjusted a stray hair then slowly turned back as of pulling his gaze away from himself was particularly tough “You would though wouldn’t you?”

A singular laugh left your throat coming out harshly. “No. Nothing personal…Zoolander” you paused as you realised that wasn’t completely honest. “Well its a little personal…but…I don’t date footballers. Went out with one once. Played for another club. Was at my friends for a weekend. He slept with six other women in two days.”

Jamie pursed his lips and let out a low whistle almost like he was impressed.

“What’s that…Rookie numbers for you?” You called over your shoulder as you stepped to the side of the door to pick up the box that had been sitting in your hallway for the past week and a half.

“Nah…even I’m not that bad” He clicked his tongue and winked “Most of the time.”

“How lovely.” You deadpanned turning back to him. “Suppose you slow down once you run out of every woman in SW16?”

Jamie looked you up and down “You always like this? All Cruella DeVille and that”

Ignoring his playground like insult, you moved one hand back to the door handle, the box balanced on your hip with the other. You were hoping you’d be able to close the door quickly and force him to go off elsewhere. “You left my club, I’m allowed to be a little mean to you.”

“Lasso sent me back. Said he didn’t need me but obviously he does though cause you were losing until today” A cocky smirk on his face, he pointed at himself “Could have used me in those other games.”

“What?” You frowned, eyebrows knotting in the centre. “What are you on about?… of course we needed you. You’re a fucking twat but you’re good. Why wouldn’t he want you in the team” You didn’t like paying him a compliment but you felt it was the only way to get a reasonable conversation out of him

Jamie almost rolled his eyes and you were unsure if it was because he thought you were stating the obvious or saying something stupid.

Noticing Jamie’s childish reaction, you called him out.

“Ted’s a really nice guy, you know. Maybe cut him a little slack?”

Ted had always been friendly to you. Giving you a good morning when he arrived and a good evening with a bright smile when he left and even talking to you about favourite books when he’d brought ones in for the team. If you offered help with setting things up, he would always tell you not to worry and he’d sort anything out himself… More often than not he was back at your office with 15minutes talking a lot about how different things were to Kansas and asking for help.

Despite being new to the sport, never mind the Premier League, Ted was at least trying. It somewhat bothered you that Jamie seemed so intent on being disrespectful.

“Knows fuck all about football though.”

“And you know fuck all about how to talk to people. Maybe you could have learnt from each other.” You snapped back before you could stop yourself. “Just an idea. It’s how adults talk.”

Feeling the exasperation levels rise and wondering how you’d even gotten this far into a conversation with him, you tossed the box of his stuff in to his arms and he managed to steady it despite being caught slightly off guard.

“Goodbye Jamie. See you next season”

And with that you slammed the door shut forcibly before he could reply.

*** time skip***

“I’m just going to get a drink, you want one?”

You offered to your friend and her boyfriend, as you slid out of your booth. Truth be told, you didn’t need another drink, you just wanted to escape for a few moments and work out if it had been this loud when you were a Uni student or if you’d just become accustomed to pubs over clubs in the years since you’d left.

With the team settled into the season, and the new signings all set up, you decided to take a week off to go visit some old friends in Manchester and against your better judgement you’d been dragged to a bar by your friend and her boyfriend.

In response your friend waved her half full, bright blue cocktail, letting you know she was good for now and you made your way across the dance floor and up to the bar, ordering the strongest cocktail on the menu not paying much attention to what was in it.

You’d only just picked up your drink when you heard it. The familiar voice causing you to whip around so quickly that you were impressed you didn’t spill anything.

“[Name]? That you?”

“Jamie Tartt.” You replied, as you took a long drink of the freshly replenished cocktail “Nice to see you.”

You were, of course, being sarcastic. You didn’t try to hide it this time. You didn’t have to. The last time you’d seen him, he’d been assisting in the game that sent Richmond down. Well… that and when your friends had sent you numerous clips of him making an arse out himself on Lust Conquers All and asking you if he really was that much of a twat in real life, to which you’d reply no, he was actually a bigger twat.

“How come you’re in Manchester?” He asked, catching you off guard. Jamie had never cared about seeing you, let alone it being ‘good to’ and now here he was making small talk like you were old friends.

“I’m visiting friends from when I lived here.” You told him keeping your answer short “Look if you want someone to sort out some private booth for you, firstly I’m on holiday and secondly I work for Richmond…you don’t…so…” you paused and gazed around the busy bar, looking for someone to pass Jamie on to “ask the barman.”

“You lived in Manchester?” Jamie tilted his head, genuine surprise crossed his features, as if you’d been withholding some crucial information. “I’m from here.”

“I know you are…“ you took another long drink, feeling like you’d need it if you were about to have another frustrating conversation as your patience was slowly slipping away. He’d completely ignored your previous statement and carried on with the small talk he’d never shown any need for before “What do you need Jamie?”

Jamie looked stunned. “I didn’t know you lived in Manchester. How come you never said?” He replied with a question in response.

“It’s a big city Jamie. You never asked me about myself, surprised you even remembered my name. You don’t need to feign interest in me. Just tell me what you want.” Patience now completely gone and just keen for him to get to the point, you downed the last of your drink and turned to place it back on the bar, only just missing the slight look of guilt he gave you.

“I just, um,” Jamie hesitated, unsure as to how to start, he bit his lip. There was no way he could just come out with it.

He’d tried Keeley but she’d told him to talk to Ted which… he really didn’t want to do. He knew he’d have to eventually but he didn’t want to have to ask especially after how they’d left things in person. Jamie knew from the tiny army man and note that Ted held no resentment but approaching him was a completely different ask so he’d headed back to his mums in Manchester first to weigh up his options.

He considered messaging one of the team but knew after his assist to send Richmond down, they likely would not want to speak to him…so he went through the staff- Kitman Will was a no go, Nate an even bigger no, he didn’t even think he had his number. Jamie went through a few of the back room staff before the thought of you crossed his mind and he felt like an idiot for not thinking of it sooner.

You fixed everything. Player needed a mechanic, you had one around within an hour, one of the coaches needed a caterer, you could arrange it, any player needed schools for their kids, you had uniforms by the end of the day. It was, at least to Jamie, like you could fix any problem…so hoping you could fix his big one, he looked you up on instagram and seeing that you’d posted only two hours ago, he clicked to view.

You were laughing and clinking glasses with another girl and a guy and had placed a tag in the corner indicating what bar you were in. Jamie could barely believe his luck when he clicked on it; as if by chance, as if this was confirmation that he had to talk to you, the tag showed as a bar only fifteen minutes away. He’d left within five. He didn’t know why you were here in his home city but to Jamie it felt like a sign so he’d threw on a coat and headed out to find you.

“It’s nice to see you Jamie but if you’ve got nothing to say, I really need to get back to my friend.” It was a small lie, you could not have cared less about running into him.

“Wait.” He protested, reaching for your arm before pulling back, barely grazing you. “Can we have a drink or something?”

“I’m not a waitress Jamie. If you want a drink, you’ll have to get one yourself like a big boy.”

From the vacant expression that had taken over, he clearly no idea what you were talking about and was waiting for you to fill in the blanks.

“It was a joke. At the charity event, you gave me twenty quid and told me to get you a drink. I told you I wasn’t a waitress and you said ‘same thing’… then I took the £20 and used it for my taxi home… you obviously don’t remember.”

Jamie felt discomfort twist in his chest as he averted his eyes to the ground for a few seconds. Had he really said that? You said it so casually like it was normal.

“Look…please can I just talk you? I’ll…pay for your drinks.” He attempted a peace offering, only for you to wince.

“I can get my own drinks.” You stated bluntly, with a half hearted smile. “I’ll see you later, I’d say good luck for this season but Caths a United fan”

“I’m sorry…uh, I fucked it alright? I don’t…City don’t want me back.” Jamie slid in front of you quickly to try slow your move to the table down. “And I didn’t win Lust Conquers All…”

“I’m sorry to hear you didn’t win your show. Maybe there’s another you can rate strippers on or something.”

“It’s all I’m actually any good at.” His voice was far more subdued, far more quiet than you’d heard him before so much so you would have missed it if it wasn’t said in a seconds pause between songs.

“Rating strippers?” You made a joke, lips twisting up as you raised an eyebrow. However Jamie in response still looked deadly serious, so much so that something inside made your resolve falter. It was not like Jamie Tartt to be remotely serious.

You sighed, eyes skimming over the room to your friend, who was trying to wave you over with a questioning look on her face. Holding up a few fingers, you indicated to her you’d only be two minutes. She shrugged and went back to whatever conversation she was having with her boyfriend.

“Please.” He asked once more and you knew would kick yourself if this turned out to be an act. “I swear down I’m being serious”

You glanced back at Jamie who looked so utterly defeated, in a way you’d never seen him. He looked a million miles away from that cocky, arrogant guy you’d seen last time.

“Fine. We can talk but… outside…” you threw your hand up and jerked your thumb at the door. “I’ll meet you out there. I need to let my friend know I’m leaving.”

The cold air hit you suddenly as you stepped out of the busy bar, squeezing by a hen do and heading down the stairs. Jamie was already waiting outside, shifting from one foot to the other, looking even more on edge that he had done inside. Having seen his adverts, you knew he was not that good of an actor, whatever was going on it had to be at least a little bit real.

“Alright. I’m all ears.” You stated as you reached the bottom.

Jamie found himself talking and talking to you as you walked through the city without any real direction. You asked the occasional question but besides that you were mostly just listening. He was stalling, putting off asking you for help by just relaying the drama between leaving City and being voted off the show. You could tell there was something else. There was no way he’d drag you, someone he barely knew, barely liked, out into the city streets to question the voting public for picking some guy called Danthony over him.

“They offered me a reality show…when I got kicked off but I’d have to do ecstasy and shit and…” Jamie trailed off, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his designer puffer jacket. “Didn’t want that.”

“Drugs too far?” You joked, not wanting to show that you were actually pleasantly surprised that he had a limit as to what he’d do for fame. His eyes caught yours and he shook his head.

There was a beat, a few seconds of only the city sounds, you spoke again, your voice and your eyes more sympathetic this time. “I’m glad you didn’t take it. It would be a waste of your actual talent if you did. You’re way too good at football to piss it all away for some shit show…Why did you leave City anyway? Thought you had it all worked out? And be honest with me, I’m not thick, I’ll know.”

Jamie caught your eye, your gaze on him was questioning, but not in the demanding, scrutinising way he was so used to. You were looking at him in such a way, If you didn’t hate him, Jamie could almost convince himself you were asking because you cared. The slight softening of your look on him made him drop what was remaining of his facade and tell you the truth. “I thought it’d piss off my dad.”

“Ah,” the sound was small, “Is your dad…?”

“A prick?” Jamie stated bluntly before you could finish “Yeah. On me all the time, over everything. Always has been. Always got something to fucking say. Got sick of it. I know it’s stupid but…”

“It’s not stupid…well it was a stupid thing to do…” you pulled your coat tighter against the wind. “but you’re not stupid. I understand. I think most people would. I’m sorry your dads an arsehole.”

“Thanks” He commented with a tight face as you rounded the corner. “But I’m used to it”

“You shouldn’t have to be.”

You stopped as he could see your hotel lit up ahead on the street you were now walking down and somehow you’d ended up back where you were staying and you felt a little bit sorry to leave him. A small, tiny part of you thought about inviting him up and offering to continue the conversation but this was Jamie and you had a feeling he would definitely get the wrong idea.

“Erm… this… this is me.” You tilted your head up ahead at the hotel door “Thank you for walking me back Jamie. Even if you didn’t mean to.”

“Do you think Richmond would have me back?” Jamie asked quickly, fearing he’d lose his chance at getting out what had been lingering on his mind since he’d walked out of the meeting with his agent. “I could really really use Richmond now. And I think Richmond need me?” He gave you a tweak of a smile, more hopeful than arrogant.

Ah of course. That was it. He did need something after all. Despite this, you didn’t feel any resentment, you actually felt a little bit bad for him. Jamie had been a first class twat but he also seemed to be genuinely trying to reach out.

You gave him an apologetic smile. “Look, I wish I could help but…you’ll have to talk to Ted. I don’t have any say it in. I can give him a heads up but at the end of the day, he’s the manager, Jamie.”

“Yeah. Keeley said the same thing.” He looked dejected, reluctant even. “Don’t know why I thought you’d say anything else.” He dragged one of his expensive trainers against the concrete pavement and you winced at thinking how they probably cost a substantial chunk of your wages.

“I’m not surprised. She’s smart, makes me wonder why she went out with you.” You took the opportunity to lightly tease him although kept your tone completely deadpan.

“Oi come on! I’m being nice!” Jamie’s head shot up, ready to protest until he could see you were smiling and his shoulders loosened.

“I know I’m messing with you.” You replied “but seriously Talk to Ted. He’s usually at The Crown and Anchor. He’s a nice guy, Jamie. Give him a chance.”

“Fine. Thanks.” Jamie shrugged, looking like he’d rather do anything else. “If it works, can I have my old house back?”

“I’ll sort something…Goodnight Jamie.”You reached over and squeezed his arm “and good luck.”

***

Jamie’s reintegration was not going as smoothly as he’d hoped. With the rest of the team being somewhat reluctant to forgive his attitude from his last spell in at the club, Jamie was now getting the cold shoulder.

“Shit!” You jumped when you walked into you office. “How long have you been here? How did you get in?”

“No one likes me.” Jamie muttered from the spare chair opposite your desk. He didn’t answer your question but from the lost look on his face you didn’t feel like pushing it. He was slouched so far over your desk, he was practically lying on it, training jacket pulled up over his face and his chin in his hand

“Can’t say I blame them. You were kind of an arsehole last time you were here.” You placed your bag on the spot on the desk not occupied by Jamie.

“But like I’m actually trying and they’re… are all being dickheads about it.” He sat up suddenly, throwing his arms back as he slumped back into the chair.

“Again I don’t blame them.”

“Colin said I was the worm now.”

You cocked your head confused “I’m not going to ask…but I probably don’t blame him”

“Even the new lads giving me stick”

“Yeah, word travels, you’re… kinda infamous here now”

“Yeah I know…” Jamie clicked his tongue as if you were stating the obvious “but why do they hate me… when I’m trying?” He held out his hands and looked over at you, waiting for your clarification.

“Jamie. You got us relegated, you were a bad team mate and a bit of a shit…”

“Alright, alright.” Jamie shrugged “just you’re the only one whose nice to me…except maybe Ted but he don’t count he’s nice to everyone and Keeley but she’s my ex ain’t she? How can I make them like me? Get them all something?”

“It’ll take time Jamie… you can’t just make it up to them with gifts…”

Deciding you had to do to something to distract him, you lifted your bag up from the desk again and gestured for him to stand up which he did so reluctantly.

“Right okay, get your keys…I’m not having you moping around my office…let’s go for a walk or a drive or whatever and talk. It’ll help. I promise”

It quickly became a regular, daily thing. Jamie would come to your office as soon as the on field training was done. The rest of the team would head into the gym and he’d come wait in your office or out for coffee until most of the others had left and then he’d slip down to the gym to train alone.

You’d were slowly softening to him. He’d even started opening up a bit more, slowly elaborating day by day until he was talking more openly to you than you’d ever thought. Underneath all the cocky bravado, Jamie was a sweet, funny, guy who’d just fallen into the trap of thinking arrogance was a shield against anything the world could throw at him. You liked this side of him far far more and you couldn’t help yourself but think if he’d always been like this, like he was now, you’d have been friends a long time ago.

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing when Jamie told you about Ted’s alter ego act. Even more so that he was completely straight faced when relaying how weird it was. You could guess what Ted was doing, but Jamie seemed so serious he had you in stitches.

“Oh and I, erm, I spoke to the, the therapist lady…Doctor Sharon.” Jamie slipped in quickly, before he could change his mind over telling you. His eyes quickly shot over your shoulder to the aerial photograph of Nelson Road that decorated the wall behind your desk and focused hard on it as he waited for your response.

Jamie had no reason to doubt you’d be supportive but still he could have sworn the few seconds it took for you to reply was actually an hour. He worried in those few seconds that he’d overstepped the mark and made you uncomfortable with an over share or that you’d kick him out.

You couldn’t believed Jamie had just spent fifteen minutes ranting about ‘Led Tasso’ and completely neglected to mention that he’d spoken to the new therapist.

“Jamie…why didn’t you tell me!” You exclaimed, nearly knocking over the Richmond mug on your desk over your laptop. “That’s great!”

“Dunno” Jamie managed to drop his stare from the wall to you and shrugged “I erm, didn’t think it was worth mentioning. Keeley dragged me up there and I thought might aswell. Nothing better do to.”

“Course its worth mentioning. Getting help is the best thing you can do… it’s hard to take that first step and reach out. I’m proud of you.”

“Really?” For a second Jamie wondered if he’d hallucinated. He hadn’t heard that. Not those words in that order from anyone in a long time and Jamie liked the thought of you, of all people, being proud of him.

“Yeah! Going…and actually talking to a professional? That’s amazing! Did it help?”

Jamie let your response sink in before he nodded “Uh yeah I think so, spoke to her about like my dad and stuff. She’s really good.” He scratched his cheek quickly before dropping his hands to the table.

“It’s great, everything you’re doing. It’ll take time… but I’m just so happy you’re reaching out.” You leant over the desk and placed your hand over his and gave it a squeeze “you know you’ve always got me but talking to a professional is the best thing for you.” The second you’d retracted Jamie missed the reassurance provided by the warm contact.

“Knock knock” a voice called from the doorframe interrupting and Jamie felt his heart drop as one of his teammates stuck his head around “Hello!”

“Jan! Hi!” You beamed at him, getting up from your desk as Jamie tried not to let his disappointment show at the interruption. “Come in!”

“You ready? You’re always packed up early and ready to go so I thought I would come see” Jan slipped around the door and raised his eyebrows staring at your desk which, as he’d guessed, was already pretty much clear for the day. “Usually in the last hour you don’t do any work.”

You rolled your eyes at his assessment but didn’t protest. You very rarely got anything done in the last hour so tended to scroll on your phone, clear up and wait until you could leave.

“Alright?” Jamie attempted to greet the other man “Is anyone down in the gym, mate?”

Jan shook his head no, not conversing with the other man any more than needed and waited for Jamie to stand up and make his way to the door, stepping aside to let him leave.

“Um, thanks [Name], I’ll see you later yeah?”

“Yeah, I’ll come see you later.” You offered “We can go to that restaurant for dinner. The Indian one I was telling you about the other day?”

Jamie nodded and shut the door quickly suddenly all too aware of his teammate watching him.

***

“Why are you friends with him?” Jan asked pointedly as you left the room a few minutes later and made your way to the car park.

“Jamie’s really trying. Trust me last season he would not have even acknowledged me” you laughed and pointed at yourself.

“I don’t like him.” Jan said, looking like you’d posed some sort of serious question before he offered you a sweet from the bag he was holding out “Left you the red ones.” He glanced back into the bag “Well most of them!”

“Be nice!” You jokingly punched his arm before thanking him for leaving your favourites “Jamie’s trying not be a twat…but It’s hard for him. He’s had years of practice.”

Jamie watched you’d leave with the centre back from the open gym door. From your hushed voice, you were doing your best to keep quiet so he wouldn’t overhear but the ‘he wouldn’t have acknowledged me’ stung. Deep down he knew it was true, he hadn’t been nice to you, and you were understandably cold to him.

He’d find himself worried, wondering if you were with Jan, what if you no longer had time for him, what if he lost the one real friend he had. Although if Jamie was honest with himself, he’d liked you as more than a friend for a while.

A few days into his return to Richmond, he’d been unable to sleep. Worrying that the team hated him, would always hate him, was he this pathetic failure his dad said he was, would he ever be considered a talented footballer again or would he always just be a joke who put his ‘brand’ first.

He realised he’d didn’t want to call his anyone except you. He wanted to talk to you. You’d answered on the fourth ring and if you were annoyed at being woken at 1am, you didn’t sound it. You’d been concerned, asking if he was in trouble.

“No…I can’t sleep.” Jamie had said, almost ashamed to say anything more. He worried you’d think it was pathetic, a weak reasoning for calling, but at the same time hoped you’d pick up on the something left unsaid.

You did. “I know what you mean” you’d spoken, sleepily “you want a distraction? I can read to you if you like. My books so boring, you’ll fall asleep.”

Jamie had laughed and accepted your offer and settled in as you’d started to read some story.

When he woke the next morning, you were still on the other end of the phone. You were already awake but you must have stayed on the call with him.

‘Just in case’ you’d told him, the corner of your cheek twitching on one side.

It was the single most simple, caring gesture but it cemented it. In that moment he knew he was gone. You just knew him. When he needed to laugh, when he needed to talk and when he just wanted a distraction. (You’d never tell him how easy it was for you to tell).

The next time, hed offered to return the favour he’d read you the book Coach Lasso had bought him. He’d been reluctant at first but you’d persuaded him, encouraging him a little bit at a time and before you knew it, he’d read it cover to cover.

You were just a kind person, he told himself. You were like that with everyone. He’d see you excitedly trying some Nigerian food Sam brought in or attempt to speak Spanish to Dani, who would be thrilled and offer to teach you, he’d see you talk to Keeley, usually showing each other something on your phones and giggling.

Jamie would find himself analysing every conversation you’d had with him, where you like that with other people and for signs that maybe your feelings were mutual. He would run over everything in his head as he ran on the treadmill or worked on presses so much so that by the time he’d decided to just keep quiet, as he did every day, he’d have done several miles or lost count of the amount of presses he’d done.

Fuck it there was no way he could tell you. You were happy and you were his friend and he’d rather have you in his life as his friend than not at all.

***short time skip***

When Jamie had came into your office in a panic on Christmas Eve, asking you if you’d ever cooked a Christmas dinner and begging for you to help him cook one for his mum who would be visiting, you’d agreed against your better judgement. You’d cooked Christmas dinner twice. Once at University and once when your mum had a migraine and you had to finish off and now you were in Jamie’s house on Christmas Day making what he’d bought from M&S two days before into a Christmas dinner.

“I’m surprised you asked me. I thought you’d be inundated with offers.” You said, only half joking as you turned the parsnips in their tray. Jamie who was mulching the cranberries for the sauce like his life depended on it, just shrugged and muttered a ‘not really’. He wished he’d asked you to actually spend Christmas with him properly and not to do him a favour but doing so now would seem last minute and you’d already told him you were dropping in to the Higgins later.

As if on cue, your phone beeped from across the room and you swung the dish towel over your shoulder, not noticing Jamie staring as you flicked up to read Jan’s Whatsapp, watching your face for any signs. Trying to see if you’d added any little hearts next to his name or if you replied to him with twice as many X’s as you gave anyone else.

Ever since Jamie had realised he’d fallen for you, he’d became somewhat obsessed with trying to work out what was going on between you and his teammate. He’d never ask Jan directly. Having been on the receiving end of one of Jan’s blunt comments, Jamie didn’t want to risk hearing something he didn’t want to. With the team still giving him the cold shoulder more often than not, he considered asking Keeley. He’d seen you and her talking sometimes and wondered if it would be weird to ask his ex before realising if he did ask Keeley anything, there was the risk that Roy Kent would overhear and Jamie couldn’t imagine anything more embarrassing.

“Richard brought a girl to the Higgins’ party.“ you laughed, letting Jamie know what was happening “Jan just told me.”

“Of course he did” Jamie laughed “Not surprised. He’d bring a girl to training if thought he’d get away with it.”

“Thought that would have been you?” You teased back only to get an eye roll and elbow nudge in response.

After a few minutes, you walked around his kitchen to check the table was set and were surprised to see he’d done a decent job of it.

“I think you’re all set. I promise you can take all the credit. You just need to take the turkey out when she gets here and put the Yorkshires in. They’ll be done quickly so don’t burn them. Desserts are in the fridge.”

Jamie looked a little reluctant and you had to admit the idea of a footballer who regularly played in front of thousands of people being nervous about presenting a Christmas dinner to his mum was a little funny.

“It’ll be good. Trust me…oh wait!” Your face lit up as you suddenly remembered “I have a present for you!” Before he had the chance to respond you’d dashed out into the hall, retrieved the gift from beside where you left your coat and returned back and pushed it into his hands.

After making a show of rattling it to try sense what was inside, Jamie unwrapped it carefully. Your eyes focused in on his face looking for any sign, hoping he liked the gift and you’d hadn’t made things weird.

In the box was a pair of his boots, the same brand his mum had got him, like his first pair. Jamie lifted them out carefully, and turned them over in his hand to see them.

“They’re obviously not the exact pair but they’re customs, I asked Sam what brand they were and they don’t do the exact ones anymore but I found some guy online and…they’re pretty much the same…If you can’t wear them for games because of sponsorships or whatever, you can maybe use them for training or you can return them, i won’t be offended, I just…”

“Thank you.” Jamie was quiet, staring down at the boots before his eyes turned on you “this is the nicest present anyone has ever given me. I, um… thank you.” He repeated finding himself rendered somewhat speechless at what thought you’d put in and how you were clearly worried he wouldn’t like it.

“It’s nothing. I just wanted to do something for you…”

“It’s not nothing, I actually do really like them and I’m definitely wearing them. Next game. Thank you.” Jamie paused, his head was only filled with thoughts of how much he wanted to kiss you here in his kitchen, how much he wanted to ask you to stay with him, to spend the rest of the day with him, eating Christmas dinner with his mum and sharing the big box of Roses chocolates and watching any Christmas special just because and then dancing to whatever Christmas song came on, late into the evening.

“Actually I… I got you something too.”

“You got me a present?” Your eyebrows raised in a playful manner “It’s not like a signed picture of you or anything is it? Because if it is, it’s going on eBay.”

“No. Uh…two minutes alright?” Jamie left the room and returned a few minutes later, a poorly wrapped present in his hands. “Sorry about the shit wrapping.”

You laughed and unwrapped it, your face breaking out into a big smile as you found the present “no way!”“This is the coolest thing ever!”

A quiet, comfortable silence had fallen between the two of you over your FaceTime call, you’d just finished laughing about Jamie telling you how he broke into his schools tuck shop as a kid and stole six packets of malteasers. It should have been just a funny childhood anecdote shared with a friend and yet the comments you’d made a while ago itched at the back of Jamie’s mind. “You never asked me about myself, surprised you even remembered my name.” He’d gotten to know you since of course but he wanted to know more, he wanted you to tell him everything, like he was making up for looking through you before.

“Tell me something funny you did when you was kid” He asked before he could stop himself.

“Oh.” You shifted putting your phone down, thinking for a moment. “Ah okay I’ve got it!” You grinned “don’t laugh!” You made him promise.

“When I was a little kid, like I’m talking pre-primary school age, I had this cream cardigan, big daisies and red roses stitched all over it and I would wear it everywhere. I’d put it on to walk to school and cry when Miss Neil made me take it off, when I came home and my mum had to wash it, I’d sit by the washing machine and then in the garden waiting for it to dry. I’d even wear it when it was summer and it was probably too warm, I wore it even when it didn’t go with my outfit. I was not a fashion forward kid”

Jamie started laughing and couldn’t suppress it even over your protests that he promised he wouldn’t.

“What happened to it? The cardigan? You still have it?”

You pouted half jokingly “It got left on a plane on the way back from Tenerife. I cried so much, my dad rang Gatwick and the airport in Tenerife but no one ever turned it in. I’d have outgrown it but I loved that cardigan so much” you said wistfully “I was so annoyed thinking of some random person with my cardigan… I’ve searched online but there’s nothing like it.”

“Understandable. It sounds peak nineties” Jamie remarked with a raised eyebrow

“Oi. It would be considered vintage now” you laughed “Teenagers on depop would pay mega money for that.”

You picked it up and held it against you before putting it straight on without checking for tags.

“Jamie…” You wrapped it tight and folded your arms around you “You remembered! I feel a bit bad for joking now”

“Don’t…don’t…you don’t need to say anything.” Seeing you happy hit him like a brick wall. All he wanted was you smiling at him like you were doing now. His voice was quiet and he could feel the tension, he needed to do something, anything to dissipate it, if he didn’t…Jamie feared he’d just come out with it. “You have the real deal anyway, you don’t need a photo” He settled for a joke.

“Thank you!” You beamed at him and got up to kiss his cheek. “This is the coolest present ever!”

How was it that he’d never been short on attention from women but a kiss on the cheek from you had the biggest effect on him like he was a teenage boy again the first time he fancied a girl.

“Thank you for mine. And for all this…You really sure you can’t stay? It’ll just be me and mum and she’ll fall asleep after Eastenders.”

“Call me when she does. If I’m up, we can FaceTime” you still had your cardigan on and slipped your coat on over the top. “Maybe we can watch one of the Home Alones or Elf together.”

“I love Elf. It’s like my favourite film after Ratatouille.” He grinned at you and you laughed as you reached up and hugged him.

“I know. Merry Christmas Jamie.” You kissed him on the cheek once more

“Merry Christmas, [Name],”

***short time skip***

The addition of Roy to the coaching staff had gone perfectly…except for the one pretty major hiccup of Jamie clashing with him daily and on one occasion, making his way to your place after training to ask if you thought he had bad hair prompting you to wonder what exactly was going on.

A few days later and you were anxiously waiting on the final whistle in the quarter final against Tottenham, Jamie had played incredibly. A goal from right outside the box and only a minute ago he’d scored what looked like it would be the winner. At the sound of the whistle, you were up on your feet and running down to the tunnel. The moment you saw Jamie you ran to him and pulled him into a hug, him lifting you up and holding you flush against him for a few moments.

“You were amazing!” You enthused, looking up at him as you separated. “That free kick in the first half was one of the best ever seen! And a last minute goal… that’s the best game I’ve ever seen you play.”

Jamie grinned on a high from the result, his performance and now you gushing about him, telling him so earnestly how good he was felt amazing. For a moment he could forget you were in the Nelson Road tunnel with a little over 25,000 people just outside and other players and staff milling around you.

“Thanks. My first goal was good wasn’t it?” He was standing so confidently. It had turned out being a prick worked for him…so long as he kept it to the pitch. You liked seeing him back to the player you knew he could be.

“That’s goal of month, maybe even the season!”You reached up and fixed his hair without even thinking “Go celebrate. you deserve this.”

“Come out with me… I mean come out with us, we’re going out, all of us, you should come” Jamie said all at once.

“Sure I’ll come for one!” You nodded.

Across the bar, you could see a girl who looked like she could have walked off the set of Keeping Up with the Kardashians lean over and talk to Richard who was responding by pouring her a glass of wine, no doubt feeding her some sort of cheesy chat up line.

Jamie slid into the booth beside you, and, with the slight contact your knee made against his, he felt himself relax.

“That’s probably the third girl I’ve seen him give his number to tonight” he commented and you laughed, pleased to see him join you in your people watching.

“Welcome to being on this side of the fence.” You leant in close to him so you could talk.

“She not your type?” You asked curiously. “She’s alive isn’t she?” You teased. Jamie hadnt dated since Keeley, or rather, since his stint on the show if you could call that dating. It did seem a little odd to you that he’d never once mentioned anyone despite your fast formed friendship and everything else he’d willingly shared with you.

Jamie shook his head. “Nah i’m…”. How could he tell you he didn’t want anyone else other than you. “I’m not…nah not really doing that kinda thing anymore.”

Even if he tried, Jamie doubted he could bring himself to show any enthusiasm for chatting up anyone else anymore. How could he consider anyone else when it felt like you were the only person in the room who saw him. You actually saw him for him in his worst moments and still wanted to be around him. How could he not want you?

Your heart was beating as you took in Jamie’s response. It was only a short response but it set the smallest of sparks in your stomach and you took a swig from the bottle of cider in your hand to distract yourself from running over what that meant. Was he not interested in anyone? Was there something he wasn’t saying?

Looking for something to change the subject before it became awkward, your eyes fell to your phone, flat against the table, and you started at the clock telling you it was 00:10. Somewhat grateful for the easy out, you picked it up and slipped it into your back.

“I’m going to head home, I have an early start tomorrow.”

“Can i walk you home?” Jamie felt a little dejected but wouldn’t pass up the chance to spend time with you just one on one. “I don’t mind leaving now?”

You were grateful and almost wished you could take him up on it. Maybe when you were alone you could ask him more about what he meant.

How badly you wanted to say yes. Yes to him walking you home and how you’d hope on the walk home you’d maybe have enough courage to invite him in and up to your bedroom. The experience with your ex still lingered and you never ever thought it would be Jamie Tartt of all people to make you want to throw your one rule out of the window.

But he wasn’t the Jamie of old. This Jamie was funny and caring, he’d bring you a tea every morning before training, he’d call you and he’d ask you to go do “intellectual stuff” with him when he was too self conscious to go himself. He’d run through ideas or tactics he had with you and even ask you to watch his highlight reels, not for vanity but because he wanted a fans opinion, he’d get you to come out to dinners with him when he was offered free food at restaurants and throughout all of this, you were just his friend, his loyal best friend, when you were internally screaming that you wanted him.

Realising you hadn’t said anything in a few seconds, you quickly found a response “you’re the best for offering but… Jan’s offered to drive me. He’s not been drinking so it’s fine. He’s dropping off Colin too if you need a lift, I can ask him? I’m sure he won’t mind?” You asked, hoping Jamie would accept and you’d just both get out at his or yours.

Jamie felt an uncomfortable twist in his stomach.

Of course. Jan. Were you going back to his? Did you talk to Jan the way you talked to him? What had happened to “I don’t date footballers” or was that just your way of telling him you’d never want him like he wanted you? There was a part of him screaming to retreat, make an excuse, go home, move on but Jamie didn’t want to do that. He wanted to ask you outright but he couldn’t push the words out. So he did neither and just sat there.

“It’s okay.” He said forcing a smile. “Someone has to look after Isaac. I’ll get a taxi”

“Are you sure? If you want we can-…”

“Hey. Are you ready?” the Dutch centre-back interrupted from the aisle between tables before Jamie could reply “Some of us need sleep.” He teased, pointing at Colin who was leaning to one side, almost asleep on Moe’s shoulder “and I don’t want him to sleep in my car. Last time I had to let him sleep on my sofa.”

You laughed and almost as if he heard his teammate Colin jolted awake muttering he was ready and reaching for his coat.

“Sure I’m ready.” You gave Jamie a hug as you stood up and he watched you go, wishing he’d gone with you the second you were gone.

Jamie had been on edge since it was confirmed that the semi final at Wembley would be against Man City. You knew it had to be related to his dad, to his old club, to how everything was building to such a point that he was wound so tight, you were surprised he hadn’t snapped like an elastic band.

In the fall out from the result to Man City and the altercation with his dad, Jamie had come to you before he’d boarded the bus. He hadn’t needed to say anything, it was all over his face. You could see it. Without even needing to ask, Ted had waved for you to get on the bus with the team. Usually the staff would travel separately if they went to games but in this moment, the coach didn’t question it.

You settled in beside Jamie and shifted so he could rest his head on your shoulder and carefully you reached around so you could put an arm around him too and used your other to take his hand and you would stay that way for the journey back to the training ground where the players had left their cars.

Even as you exited the coach, you could tell he was tense, and as you walked him to his car, you could barely hear him when he came out with it.

“Are you okay?” You asked him once he’d done explaining “I’m so sorry Jamie. Your dad really is a prick”

Before Jamie replied, he looked up and over you across the car park, his eyes caught those of his teammate.

“I, uh, I will be. Fresh air is doing me good. I think I need to go home and sleep.” It wasn’t a lie.

“Jamie. I’m not an idiot. You need to talk?”

He pushed a hand back through his hair and with one look in your eyes conceded with a nod

After driving back to his and getting into his house, Jamie dropped onto the sofa, not bothering to change out of the training kit he’d travelled in. You made him a decaf tea and took a spot next to him on his sofa and let him lean back on you as listened to him tell you everything

“Was that the first time you’d…”

“Hit him back?” Jamie’s eyes didn’t lift from the spot in the middle distance. “Yeah. Couldn’t really fight back as a kid.”

“I was going to say ‘seen him since you left…” you kept your arm around him, loosely tracing in a manner you hoped was soothing. “But I’d guess same answer.”

Jamie lifted his head off your shoulder for a second. “Erm…” His dad had contacted him a few times whilst he’d played for City. Mostly asking for free tickets, to meet the rest of the team and to get tours of the ground. Jamie had given in reluctantly on the first one and skirted around the final two. “Yeah… I guess he wasn’t arsed about me playing for Richmond. Cant brag about me if I’m in the Championship and he can’t be fucked getting the train down to London”

“Jamie.” You tried “you deserve so much better…He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.” You reassured him “you’ve been amazing these past few months Jamie. The best you’ve played. I know you probably wouldn’t want him at Richmond but still…his loss”

“Only got him the tickets to get him off my back and he didn’t even fucking support me. Went in the City end. Don’t know what I was expecting”

You imagined that must have stung for him. His dad feigning an interest just to turn around and support the team playing against his son. His old club, to add insult to injury.

“How do you feel now?” You asked cautiously. “Must have been hard for you to stand up to him…given how long he’s been…like that for?”

“I mean… shit because he’s my dad but he doesn’t act like he is, but like…I don’t regret it or anything…I just got fucking shit of it yknow…slagging me off, the club off…putting me down in front of everyone…and he’ll show up next time, if we get promoted he’ll be after tickets again…”

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t get near. You never have to deal with that again Jamie. You shouldn’t have had to take it back then and you don’t now”

“Thanks.” He added on “For… not just staying here but…for like always having time for me and that.”

“I’ll always have time for you Jamie.”

***a few weeks later***

The yearly charity gala had come around fast and unlike last year, you had actually looked forward to it this year. In the weeks leading up to it, you’d picked out a new outfit including new shoes.

Jamie had agreed to pick you up, asking you the second you’d said you were going and you’d agreed. Since you’d spent the night at his, completely platonically, Jamie’s already overwhelming feelings towards you had grown even more and you showing up to a charity gala with his teammate was the last thing he wanted and even though he’d spent the entire day telling himself this wasn’t a date, he still felt nervous as he rang your doorbell.

The second you opened it, he couldn’t help but break out into a big smile “You look… really good.” He nodded “this new?”

“Thank you” you accepted his compliment, nodding as you stepped aside to let him in “So do you. Not auctioning yourself off tonight?”

“Nah I’m not feeling up for it this year.”

Your eyes scanned his suit before realising his tie was slightly off “Can I?” You pointed at it.

You waited for him to nod before stepping in to fix his tie, before realising it needed a re-do.

“You know I’ve not had to wear a tie since school, but I reckon I could do a better job of it than this.” You joked, pulling the knot by his neck and re opening the fabric.

“You wore your tie? Don’t think I went a week without forgetting mine.” Jamie laughed.

“I was Deputy Head Girl.” You felt a little bit red, like suddenly you were back at school being paired with the popular boy for a project. “Kinda had to.” You looped it around before sliding it into place.

You shook the thought from your head. This was Jamie. Your friend. He could date anyone he wanted, why would he go out with someone normal and ordinary.

Jamie watched you in concentration for a few seconds before he couldn’t help himself.

“He’s punching going out with you, you know” the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

He couldn’t help himself. Jamie didn’t mean it, at least, he didn’t mean it as it sounded. Jan was fine and of course he would be your exception to your rule. He seemed like he’d be your type. Still it stung. He wasn’t used to not getting the girls he liked…but maybe he should have expected it. You weren’t interested in the fame that attracted girls to athletes normally so of course you wouldn’t want him. You probably liked Jan because he was honest, funny and spoke three languages rather than the money and fame.

You stopped what you were doing, hands still on his tie, confused.

“What are you on about?”

“Yknow…Jan. You’re way too fit for him.”

“I’m not going out with Jan.”

You made sure it was centred before letting go of the fabric and suddenly aware of your close proximity, you stepped back.

“He takes you home and stuff…I figured you two were.”

“Shagging?” You came straight out with it, eyebrows raised

“Well…yeah?” He shrugged. “Ain’t you with him?”

Who’d have thought it. Jamie Tartt, who you’d considered the biggest arsehole you’d ever met a few months back, now being protective over you. It was weirdly quite sweet. Truth be told, you’d warmed to Jamie. A lot. If anyone had told you that last season you’d have thought they’d gone mad. When he’d left Richmond, you’d never even expected to see him in person again, let alone be friends with him.

“Jan’s just a friend…Didn’t realise anyone had noticed…also… surprised you remembered my…thing about footballers”

“I’m glad you’re not with him cause, yknow he’s…”

“Are you going to call someone else a prick?” Your head tilted to the side, hair falling with it. “Because if you are, that’s pretty fucking ironic.”

Jamie opened and closed his mouth, ready to reply when he saw you were half smiling.

“I’m messing with you...again” you teased and Jamie remembered the conversation he’d had with you outside the hotel in Manchester. Only this time you were looking at him differently. Back then you were looking at him like he was lost, now he’d swear you were… almost looking at him with affection.

“Nah, hes… he’s alright yknow just he’s not…” Jamie paused. He couldn’t say ‘not good enough’ because if Jan wasn’t the type of footballer you’d date, Jamie knew he definitely wouldn’t be. “Not who i picture you with.”

“Who do you picture me with?”

You were looking up at him, genuine interest on your face like you were waiting on a serious answer.

“I, uh, I don’t know.” The twisting in his stomach had been replaced and now the weight of relief, finding out you weren’t actually with Jan had lifted he didn’t know exactly what to say. With other girls he’d never had a problem asking them out but you? It was always different with you. “Just someone else.”

“Jamie…what’s going on?” you reached up and gently tilted his face so you could look at him. In spite of your confident action, your heart was hammering against your chest.

He let out a deep breath, eyes flickering over you for a moment, before he came out with it

“When I thought you were going out with Jan Maas. It was driving me mad.”

“Why?”

“I…I guess maybe I was jealous or something?”

“Thought you didn’t get jealous.” You’d heard all about his escapades with other women via the press and via various clips people had sent you of him on his TV show.

“I don’t not normally …” Jamie played with the cuff links absentmindedly. He sighed and looked down and then back up at you “I don’t wanna be like that anymore…I just,” he paused.

“Look” you said again “whatever you want to say… you can tell me…”

Jamie didn’t know what was holding him back. “I want to be the kind of guy you’d go out with, i don’t wanna disrespect you, and like I don’t want to ruin us being mates but…I really, really like you.”

“Jamie.” You laced your hand with his, feeling a swelling in your chest “I wish you’d told me sooner…You already are…you are the kind of guy I’d go out with.”

“What?”

“You are…the type of guy that I’d go out with.” You repeated with a reassurance in your voice “How could you not be? You’re sweet, you’re funny, you make me laugh…you listen…”

Jamie felt his heart hard against his chest, barely able to let your words sink in. “So if I asked you out? you’d go out with me?”

“Of course I will.” You squeezed his hand gently and as his shoulders relaxed and you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as he dropped his forehead to yours.

“I can’t believe Jamie Tartt was worried about asking me out. You’ve been out with like models and stuff…and it’s me that you were worried about.”

He sighed “Yeah but that’s why I like you…cause you’re you.”

Come on. Let’s go to this auction.”

“Together yeah?”

“Of course. Good job your shirt matches my outfit…or you’d have to change” you teased.

Cue when you walked in hand in hand, Jamie was greeted by about half the team congratulating him on you two finally getting it together, including Jan who’d found it hilarious that Jamie had thought something was going on between you too.

***

Jamie had, with the best intentions, planned a perfect evening. A few days after you’d accepted him asking you out, he’d booked a reservation at restaurant he knew you’d like as a surprise knowing that it was one you’d always walked by and remarked it looked nice but never got around to trying it .

Things had not gone as planned.

After you’d arrived at the restaurant, you’d found out they’d closed due to a leak in the kitchen, you’d suggested going to a local bar and had lasted all of fifteen minutes before a drunk man in a too tight t shirt had knocked his pint over you and staggered off without apologising much to your ire. Jamie had wanted to go after the man and tell him to apologise but you’d just wanted to leave. Only ten minutes after leaving, Jamie had been approached by a group of kids looking for pictures and autographs and only a few seconds later, the skies opened and despite trying to huddle under a canopy of a nearby, closed cafe, you got soaked. Jamie, whilst taking photos with the young kids gave you a mouthed sorry but you told him to carry on knowing it would make the kids day.

Once he was done, he jogged back over to you, now shivering slightly and offered you his coat as you ran back to his

“You look really fit in my stuff. You should keep them.” Jamie remarked as you flopped down next to him on the sofa, now wearing a oversized tee and joggers that he’d pulled out for you to wear whilst your actual outfit was in his washing machine.

“Sorry the date was shit.” He added on as he ran a towel over his damp hair.

“Could have been worse” you shrugged with a smile as you dried off your own hair. “I’ve had worse dates.”

He let out a sigh and laid back on the sofa “I just wanted to take you out some place dead nice.”

“Jamie...that’s so sweet but you don’t have to. I just like being with you.” You shifted closer to him and scooted under his arm to rest on his chest. “I don’t care if it’s at a restaurant or like this…”

“I promise we’ll go out somewhere proper next time.” He leant down and kissed you softly. Dating you made Jamie felt like he’d finally got everything he’d ever wanted, and he was kicking himself for not asking you out the second he realised he had feelings for you.

“I could do that all day” You muttered against his lips as you separated briefly.

He placed a hand on your cheek and brushed your hair back before kissing you again. “Don’t think we could do this in the restaurant.”

You smiled against his mouth “well we could but probably wouldn’t be allowed back…”

“Maybe we can go back when they’ve fixed the leak and try?” Jamie made a joke and you playfully swatted him before kissing him again.

“Oh, Im holding you to that…”

***

Dating Jamie was so easy. Much easier than you’d thought. It was just like it was when you were friends but he’d always be taking your hand or wrapping an arm around you or kissing you…and of course you’d spend the night together rather than driving home after meeting up. When people had said date your best friend you’d never actually thought it could be possible.

Any fears or ghosts of your past that lingered over the bad experience with your ex were soon quashed by Jamie. Before you’d got together, you’d found it somewhat bittersweet that it was the former ladies man that you’d fallen for after swearing off dating footballers but now that you woke up to him every other morning and got to see him being the absolute perfect boyfriend to you, it just made sense.

So much so that eventually you’d caved and told him the name of the player you’d went out with before and Jamie had been thrilled to learn your ex was a goalkeeper and had made a promise to you he’d score against him.

You’d found it adorably sweet in the moment and incredibly hot when he followed through with his promise not once but twice, securing a brace and a win in the same game and making a big show of pointing at you and blowing a kiss into the stands. He’d almost been late in the next morning.

Jamie knew he loved you. Maybe it had started when you’d given him that chance in Manchester. You didn’t have to. If you’d told him to piss off, Jamie wouldn’t have blamed you but you hadn’t. You’d seen something in him, maybe believed in him deep down and now he was a better man, in part due to you.

The final game of the season was a whirlwind of emotions and knowing he’d be nervous for the game that could earn Richmond promotion back into the Premier League you’d snuck into the tunnel to see him just before he went out

“Good luck today babe.” You leant up and kissed him gently. “No matter what happens. I’m so proud of you, the player you are and the man you are.”

“Thanks” his eyes met yours “I, uh could have never done it without you.”

“Course you could. The talents all yours”

“I mean the…” Jamie paused, before looking at your shirt. He turned you around. “You’re wearing my shirt” he grinned at you and held up your arm so he could twirl you and see his name on your Richmond shirt. “Looks good on you”

“Course I am. Who else’s shirt would I wear.” You leant in and kissed him once more before the sound of the rest of the team approaching signalled it was time for you to go join the rest of the fans in the stands. “Smash it for me babe.”

Upon the final whistle, the coaching staff and bench descended on to the pitch to celebrate and you couldn’t help yourself.

You ran down to the barrier, dug into your bag to flash your work lanyard at a steward and ran on yourself, calling out to Jamie as you approached.

He caught you as you jumped into an embrace, quickly asking if he was okay after he was fouled in the lead up to Richmonds penalty. Jamie nodded.

“Yea yeah I’m fine babe. I’ve never been happier.” He looked breathless, a mixture of excitement, energy and adrenaline from the game.

“I love you Jamie.”

He kissed you deeply, passionately, caught up in the moment and not caring about the thousands of surrounding people, happy to be celebrating with you and the team.

“I love you. Next year I’m going to win you the whole thing”

#jamie tartt x reader #Jamie Tartt imagine #Ted lasso fanfic #jamie tartt fanfiction #Jamie Tartt #Jamie Tartt fanfic

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claraswritings · 1 year

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Working on a Jamie Tartt x Reader - (kind of) enemies to friends to lovers, with a dash of miscommunication and all that jazz. Will go through season 1 and 2.

Its 10k words and I’m not even done yet lmaooo

#jamie tartt #Jamie Tartt x reader #Ted lasso

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claraswritings · 1 year

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Stay For Now, I Love You Forever

Pairing: Steven Grant x Reader (a tiny bit of Marc Spector x Reader- pining)

Summary: Steven meets a girl. Steven falls for her. Marc falls too.

Warning: Some angst. Set mostly pre-series. (Also for the sake of the fic, Marc is already divorced). First time writing Steven/Marc/Moon Knight system. This is not spell checked as I’m posting at nearly 2AM lol.

A/N: Meant to finish this sooner but I got Covid :( Tagged @marvelenthusiast10 )

***

“Okay Steven…what’s your symptoms.”

The man before you shifted in the chair, drumming his fingers on his jeans, eyes flickering over the walls. It looked like he was battling the urge to run away. It was obvious that he felt awkward, and you couldn’t blame him. It was pretty bizarre having to explain your sleep symptoms to a total stranger.

“Right…” Steve started then trailed off “Sorry Uhh…” he hesitated once more as he looked away from you and rested his gaze on the view from the window. where he could see I t had started to snow heavily.

“Huh…it’s snowing.” He commented “Didnt know it was going to snow? Did you?…Do you think the buses will be running?”

Sensing his rambling was a outburst of nerves, something to distract himself, you attempted to placate him “I didn’t…but I like the snow… I’m sure the buses will be fine but I’ll check the TfL website for you before you go. Do you need a drink?”

Steven brought his dark eyed gaze back to you. “Right sorry, sorry…” he muttered, scratching his jaw… “I’ll get to the point and stop rambling…”

“It’s okay…take your time…” you reassured him. “I have lots of time”

He hesitated, once more before he took a breath for composure

“Okay, so sometimes, yeah, I wake up… and…I‘ve lost… hours or even sometimes days at a time…like couple of weeks ago… I went to bed on Friday…” he gestured, with one hand, the sleeve of his over sized jacket sliding up as he did “but I woke up on Sunday…but I’m still tired…Fell asleep on the bus…” he trailed off for only long enough to rake a hand through his wavy dark hair “Feel like I’ve been hit by one too.”

He gave you a muted smile, as he pulled the long sleeves of his blue jacket back down.

Your lips lifted at corner as a response to his joke, and you nodded slowly, writing down what he was saying.

“That’s not normal is it? Losing days…” He frowned a little, his gaze on you, as you could feel him almost crying out for help “I feel like I’m losing my bloody mind.” He mumbled, his voice quiet.

“No Steven, you’re not, a lack of sleep can do all sorts of things to our bodies, that’s why I’m here. Sleep is a very difficult thing to get right… but we can help you…once we work out what might be causing whatever is happening…do you have any other symptoms? Do you ever sleep walk?”

“See… I thought maybe I did, cause I’d wake up and be like coming back through the door…” Steven leant forward, uncrossing his arms to draw a circle in the air “But like the sand circle would still be yknow in a circle, right? So I can’t be?” He spoke as if he was offering a suggesting, shoulders moving up and down in a shrug that did not look as nonchalant as he had clearly hoped

Now he’d lost you.

“Sand circle?”

“Oh god I’m gonna sound like a right weirdo…” he flopped back in the seat. “I put the sand circle around my bed…, yeah, cause if I was sleep walking I’d shuffle and ruin it.” Steven explained with a wave of his hand. “Wouldn’t I?”

You had to admit it, it was clever, if a little unconventional. “Yeah, that’s actually quite a good idea… never heard that one but I like it.” You nodded encouragingly. As the years you’d spent helping set up various sleep studies, you’d heard all the classics-no caffeine, no cheese, lavender oil, hot baths, white noise, black out curtains… but you’d never heard of using a sand circle to test if you were sleeping walking.

“That and the restraint on the bed.” Steven tacked on then instantly realised what he clicked your eyebrows shooting upwards “Not like that...I’m not like…” He muttered, a red creeping up over his face, as his hand crept up to itch the back of his neck. “Don’t really get the chance for anything like that with the…funny sleeping stuff and that…” he trailed off.

stoptalking stoptalking stoptalking stoptalking. He told himself internally and shook his head, trying not to visibly shudder at his own awkward comment. How he’d just told you, the prettiest woman he’d seen in…god knows how long, that he had a restraint on his bed. God Steven, way to show off your glaring red flag.

“You…you have a restraint?” you paused, trying not to smile at the flustered man before you, as he now was staring directly at the spot where your desk met carpet. “To prevent the sleepwalking of course.”

The comment about not having the chance stuck out to you. Must mean he’s single.

“Yeah, uh..I have tape too for the… for the door. So I can’t get out and bother anyone…Tried to keep myself up aswell, listened to a podcast and did the stuff it said… puzzles, reading books, all that…didn’t work though…”

His eyes shot back to you as hand ran through his thick wavy hair again Everything about him was a bundle of nerves from the fidgeting to the eyes looking from you to the window and back to the tangents, now on top of that, he was worried his sleep issue would bother anyone. You couldn’t help but feel for him.

“And how long have you been using these… techniques for?”

“Oh god…” he blew out a long exhale “I don’t actually know…to be quite honest…ages now…Doctor”

“It’s okay Steven, anything that can help you is worth trying…and I’m not a doctor… I’m a sleep…tech…” you held your hands up. “I just check you in and help with results.”

“Oh..sorry…” he faltered, a little embarrassed , trying to find the words “…Ms. Sleep… Tech…Technician?… Technologist?”

He cringed inwardly at his own sentence only seconds after the words had left his mouth and for the… he’d lost count… time since he’d entered the room.

“Just….[Name]”

Once again, you weren’t pulling back, recoiling or phased by his awkwardness. You were, much to his surprise, smiling at him. Not the weird passive smile Donna gave him when asking, or rather telling him, to stay late. Not the fake nicety smile exhausted tourists usually gave him, you were actually smiling at him like you thought he was funny. The smile you were giving him was so genuine and warm, he felt himself relax under your eyes.

“You must always be well rested. Must be nice.” Steven attempted to extend the conversation, hoping his attempt wasn’t too ungraceful.

“Ah. You’d be surprised,” There was a smile toying at the corner of your mouth “I’m better at giving advice than I am at following it.”

“Suppose It’s like chefs innit…they come home and probably just Deliveroo themselves a Nando’s or KFC or something?”

You laughed “Yeah, exactly what I mean…Now look…I know this is going to sound cliche but…problems with sleep, it’s more common than you think.” Pausing, you put your notebook down, and leant in, elbows planted on the desk. “But basically in your deepest stage of sleep… your brain switches off the muscles… so you won’t be acting out your dreams or anything crazy. If you are in that stage, you won’t go anywhere, Steven.”

You turned one of your folders over and pushed a case plan towards him, and pointing out the diagrams with the end of your pen.

“We’ll chart your brainwaves whilst you’re asleep… then we can use them to work out what’s going on.”

“And that’ll help me?” He sounded hopeful as his gaze ran over the notes, following your make shift pointer.

“Yeah I hope so, i mean it might not stop the processes but it’ll help us understand what’s going on.”

“You must think I’m a right weirdo…but it’s nice…to talk to someone that isn’t my fish…or the living statue bloke,” Steven turned back to you, giving you a thankful look. “Or my boss.” He pulled a face.

“I don’t think you’re weird, Steven… I want to help you. I’ll listen for as long as you need me to”

You hadn’t automatically assumed he was some weirdo which was a relief. He felt comfortable with you like you actually wanted to help him rather than judging him.

There was a moments silence, then your eyes flicked down to the notebook that lay between you and back to Steven.

“Do you drink tea…or coffee?”

“Oh… um, just tea with soy milk and one sugar. Sometimes a hot chocolate? Although that’s not caffeine is it? I wouldn’t mind one of those flavoured ones, Think they do them that cafe around the corner if you’d like?” He grinned somewhat awkwardly “they do refills…which you know in London, gotta get your moneys worth… it’s expensive.”

You felt a heat creep up your face “Erm…it’s for the questionnaire? I need to know how much caffeine you’re drinking?”

“Oh..oh god I’m sorry, I’ve just put my foot in it havent I?… I thought you were…and now I’m rambling, I do that…”

“But…yes Steven. I’d love to have any hot drink with you…”

“Wait. Really?” Steven faltered, surprised.

“Of course. I finish at half five. I’ll meet you there.”

And when you’d walked into the cafe, saw him already waiting there, drink gently steaming on the table and book in hand, reading glasses on, you’d slid in beside him and had never looked back.

When Steven offered to meet you at your flat to go for dinner two days later, you agreed. It was suggestion, that had it come from any of the fuck boys in your Tinder matches would have had you hitting the un match button…but with Steven…you knew he was being sweet.

You knew he wasn’t just asking to try get into your place and into your underwear, although you wouldn’t have minded. He was asking because he didn’t want you to walk to the Tube station alone in the dark.

Steven had wrapped up in a winter coat, and worn a dark blue scarf and matching gloves. He brought chocolate and a dozen pink roses, which as he’d handed over, he’d told you that he noticed your notebook had been pink and thought it was a safe bet for the colour. Before you could say thank you he’d already apologised for the chocolates incase you hated them or incase he’d got the colour wrong.

You’d kissed him on the cheek, told them they were perfect and that you’d share the chocolates with him, before linking your gloved hands together and starting your walk to your favourite Asian restaurant in Camden, where he’d had a tofu version of a curry and you’d had chicken teriyaki skewers. It was closing time before you’d left arm in arm, giggling as you walked together.

As you made your way back to the Tube station, Steven had excitedly wanted to try a bubble waffle, so you’d opted for a shared vegan friendly version and ate it with two forks. You’d hugged him outside the station then met him outside his work two days later…and before long you’d fallen into an easy pattern of dating.

The first time he hadn’t called when he said he would, was one month into dating and he was eight hours late. Steven had saw the voicemails left from you and panicked, fully expecting the “you’re an arsehole, never talk to me again” but no, you’d called him to check he was okay, came by his place and even posted a card through his letterbox telling him you were thinking of him and you hoped he was okay.

You were worried.

Steven kept that card in the top drawer of his beside table alongside a napkin from your first date, one of the gratuity sweets from your second, the first note you’d ever wrote to him, a puzzle you’d bought to do together and a model pyramid you’d saw online and thought of him. You’d said you just saw it on Amazon, but it wasn’t one you could just buy. Steven knew from the model that you’d have had to buy it from a specific retailer. You’d never tell him you googled it specifically but he loved that you did.

He knew he loved you then and there

“Hey babe.” You stuck your head around the entrance to the gift shop and grinned at him.

Steven, at the sight of you, dropped the plush back into a box and ran to you, squeezing you tight.

“Hiya love, I’m just finishing up here. Won’t be five minutes and I’ll be over to you” he kept his hands on your waist as you wrapped yours around his neck and kissed him before reaching up and straightening the collar of his patterned shirt

“Okay, babe. I’ll just wander around. We can go to that new bakery if you like. I’ve checked the menu, they do have vegan options.”

His lips curled into a smile and he squeezed your hand by way of thanking you before you headed off to wait for him.

“That sounds brilliant. Really good!”

“Stevie!” A call rang out from across the room and Steven rolled his eyes

“Oh fuck Donna.”

“Stevie! I told you the answers no. So just stop talking to guests…alright? Leave it to the real tour guides…”She turned to you, not giving him the chance to reply “Is he bothering you?”

“Actually…” you wrapped your arm around Steven. “He’s not. I’m…”

“Oh…Stevie’s girlfriend.” Donna pointed at you “Gunna be honest, thought he’d made you up. Kept saying you were dead pretty and let him talk. Didn’t actually think you were real.” She laughed mirthlessly. “Thought he was bothering the guests again!”

“Well Steven is a wealth of information, and I want my info from the best source” you gave her as friendly of a smile as you could muster.

“Best source is a tour guide” she smiled “but I’m glad he has someone to listen to his weird rambling.”

“I’d rather hear about it from someone with a passion for it”

“I’m sure our guides are plenty passionate.” She turned on her heel to face Steven. “Clock off please. I’m not paying you to chat to your girlfriend.”

“Sure, Donna. Pleasure as always.” He gave a curt wave, however she had already stalked off before she could return the acknowledgment. “Back in a sec, love.” He leant in and pecked your lips before disappearing off to clock out.

When he returned a few minutes later you linked you arm through his, and noticing he looked slightly dejected, attempted to offer him some comfort.

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on. I’ve done a few of these tours and I’ve learnt more from listening to you at home than I have from any of them”

“Really?” He perked up “Cause we have this new exhibit, it’s basically like the super group of Egyptian gods and it’s really interesting…the posters only show seven but there’s nine and…” Steven was suddenly conscious he was babbling but when he looked at you, he was still holding your attention.

“Tell me about it?” You asked him.

“About the super group?” Steven was quick to check, excited at the chance to discuss his passion before stopping. “I don’t want to bore you, love”

“You won’t.” You gave his arm a reassuring squeeze through

Steven could never bore you, everything about him was captivating. He was so excited and so passionate about Egyptian mythology that you couldn’t help but be drawn in by his wide eyed enthusiasm. You liked it when he went off on a tangent. It was cute.

“I love you, you know. And not just because you let me go on about Egyptology or that, I just really do love you, and I never thought I’d get that.”

“I love you too Steven.” You kissed him. “Now tell me about these super gods, I wanna know about the missing ones…”

***a few weeks later***

Marc froze. You were half asleep-half awake, the lights from the window, casting bright lights through the window of Stevens flat. You looked angelic, the slopes of your face, the curves of your body as you pulled the duvet tighter.

He’d watched from the background as you and Steven had fallen for each other over the past few months and Marc had, having seen how you were to Steven, had fallen for you too.

He’d realised it when he saw how gentle you were with Steven, after he’d woken one night when you’d been staying the night. He’d stumbled back to bed, a struggle to keep control of the body and barely collapsed into a half slumber before Steven had woke with a jolt around fifteen minutes later, pulling hard at the restraint and checking around him.

**flashback**

“Hey hey, it’s me babe, you’re okay…” you, on instinct, sat up next to Steven. He was checking the restraint, pulling at it hard to make sure it was in place. “…Steven, babe. You’re here, I’m with you, it’s okay.”

You reached for him slowly not making contact until Steven turned to meet your eyes. He was breathing heavy, chest heaving and shoulders tight, brow furrowed as you wrapped one arm around him and held his hand with the other.

“Steven. You haven’t had anything like this in a while.”

It was the first time you’d been there when it had happened. Usually, if Steven had a rough night, he’d call you and you’d talk and you’d stay with him listening.

“Im here babe.” You whispered

“Youre here.” His voice sounded so small and lost and such a far cry from how you’d ever heard him. A part of your heart broke seeing your usual bubbly, chatty Steven such a wreck. “I thought you’d left.”

“No. No.” You pulled him into you, lying back with his head on your shoulder as you carefully carded your hand through his curls. “I’m not leaving.…” You reached for his hand and pressed a kiss to the back of his knuckles. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Please stay for now”

“Of course, for as long as you need me.”

Marc had felt so guilty that night that he’d resolved that he wouldn’t go far when you were staying the night. Steven deserved some happiness, a sense of peace, some chance to be normal so tonight he’d kept it short, a quick hour before returning back to you.

Marc wondered if he’d met you first…rather than Steven, would you have fallen in love with him? Would you be stroking circles on his back and whispering sweet nothings to him when he woke in the dead of the night, freaked out and panicking.

He doubted it. Everything you loved was so rooted in Steven. Sweet, endearingly quirky, good-natured, warm hearted, clever Steven, who was nothing like Marc.

You were always staring at Steven, looking in his big wide eyes, playing with the fluffy curls that Marc usually slicked back, sliding your hands under Steven’s oversized clothes that Marc hated, asking him questions about the book Steven was reading that Marc didn’t know anything about, offering suggestions for whatever puzzle Steven was looking at that Marc didn’t care for, you cooked Steven vegan versions of your own lunches where Marc would have preferred the meat, you left cute notes for Steven to find. You called him Babe all the time.

Steven deserved the world but, god how Marc was jealous. He wanted you to look at him the way you looked at Steven. He could feel it heavy on his shoulders as he breathed and like an open wound in his chest.

“Steven?” He froze in the spot where he was, you turned over in the bed, voice half asleep. “Come back to bed. It’s cold.” You muttered

“Shhh, back to sleep.” He had hoped you wouldn’t notice the change from London to American as he whispered approaching the bed.

“Babe you’re talking different.” you muttered.

The second of silence that passed felt like an age to Marc, the only sound was his hammering heart rate, before you filled the room with a sleepy laugh “You’re so funny…I love you Steven.”

And like that you were back to sleep, leaving Marc alone with his own racing heart.

**a few weeks later**

Steven had been gone for five days. You’d spent most of your mornings leaving early for work to drop in on him and see if he’d shown up, your lunch breaks scouring the local news to see if an anonymous man had shown up in any hospitals, you’d called almost every hospital and police station within a ten mile radius. The police had told you they’d “note his name and description” and let you know. By Wednesday you’d even went to his work twice only for Donna to tell you Steven doesn’t work here.

You’d began to wonder you should be going back to the police to tell them the missing person you’d reported still had not shown up when you heard a knocking at your door

“Gimme a minute,” You called out as pulled yourself off the sofa and headed to the door. Hauling it open you half expected to see your neighbour or the postman. What you were not expecting to see was your boyfriend, in a baggy navy jumper, hair sticking up at all angles and looking like he’d come off a 72 hour all nighter.

He wouldn’t have of course, Steven barely drank so you couldn’t process exactly how or what the fuck had happened until he spoke.

“Hi.” He managed to get out “I’m sorry I didn’t call you.”

“Steven…You‘ve been gone for days…where the fuck where you?” Your mouth formed the words, quieter, more concerned than angry.

Instead of saying a word, you felt him slump into your arms, exhausted.

“Fucking hell Steven, what happened?” You repeated yourself with a mutter as you looped an arm around his waist and the other you used to support him and helped him to the couch, where he flopped down. Your heart ached just looking at him.

“Don’t go.” He murmured, “Stay here.”

“I’m just getting you a blanket and a cuppa, babe… okay?” You brushed some of his curls back as he nodded. “I’ll be back in two minutes… I promise.”

You kissed his head and exactly two minutes later, you returned a steaming mug of tea and your favourite sage green blanket. You’d bought it in the Dunlem sale and it never left your bed until it made its way to Stevens. You’d wrapped him in it once when he’d fallen asleep at his desk and he’d looked so adorable you’d insisted he kept it.

“Are you okay? Should I be calling an ambulance or the police or something?”

His hands knotted around the edges as you draped it over him and sat the mug in front of him. You sat in silence beside him until he’d had a few large gulps. Steven shook his head

“I’m okay…no ambulance. no police needed. It’s alright..”

“Steven. You have to tell me where you were.” You tried “Please. I thought you were missing or dead, I kept expecting to see your picture on the news as a fucking body found.”

“You wouldn’t believe me…” he let out a tiny impression of a laugh “I mean not just you… no one would and I don’t blame them.”

“I will…I promise.”

“It sounds made up”

“Babe, not that long ago Spider-Man had a fight on Tower Bridge, and before that half the world disappeared and came back and before that Thor had a fight with that…alien thing in Greenwich and before that if you’d asked me, I’d say that shit only happens in New York but I’m three out of three of mad things that have happened to me so nothing you say is going to freak me out… but saying nothing is…” You pressed your head to his. “Please…please tell me where you were.”

Steven sighed, you looked so desperate to help, so worried and he could hear Marc, telling him to be honest with you, not being honest with Layla had cost him his relationship, and although they were still friends, he didn’t want the same to happen to you.

“Yeah okay…” he started “but you got to let me tell you the whole thing, alright? No matter how mental it sounds.”

You smiled. “Of course.”

And for the whole time, you kept your attention on him, nodding, asking questions and squeezing his hand”

“Suppose that’s it all.” He said with a finish “I’ll understand if you don’t want to go out with me anymore…”

“Steven.” You pulled him into a hug, hands reaching up to rub his back. “I believe you and I love you and of course I still want to go out with you.”

“But all I do is cause problems for everyone…I don’t want to mess up your-.”

“You could never be a problem. Not for me.”

“I will eventually.”

“Steven, there is no problem you could cause that would be too big. You were never a problem to me.” Your head shook vehemently “and you never will be. Not now, not ever. You and me always.”

“I love you…” he muttered leaning in and pressing his head to yours so softly “forever”

“…I love you so much.”

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me…us.” He paused, as you tilted your head with a smile “Marc won’t come forward now but he cares for you. A lot.”

“Steven, you will always be enough for me…but one day I’d like to meet him…Marc…if that’s okay with both of you…when he’s ready.”

Steven nodded. “I think he’d like that too.”

The relief lifted a weigh off his shoulders and he felt himself settle back into the sofa. You joined him, and slipped your arms around him, pulling the blanket around you both.

“I’ve missed you.” You muttered quietly.

“I missed you too.”

Steven kissed you softly and started to apologise before you planted another kiss on his lips, softly and gently.

“Shhh, you have nothing to apologise for. I’m just glad I have my boyfriend back.” You gave him an easy smile and he leant in.

.“I’m glad I’m back too…love. To the rest of our lives Eh?” He leant in to you as you repeated his sentiment.

“To the rest of our lives”

#steven grant x reader #steven grant imagine #marc spector x reader #moon knight x reader #steven grant #steven grant x y/n #steven grant x you #moon knight imagine

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claraswritings · 2 years

Text

I Want You To Want Me

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Warnings: llanguage, a reference to period typical attitudes to sexuality but nothing extensive, erm making out…and Reader is Chrissy’s sister. Unbeta’d so if you see any spelling errors - no you didn’t. I’ll correct them later

Summary : Robin likes Chrissy, Jason likes Chrissy - Chrissy can’t date until her sister does. Inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You

Notes: 1. I have never written Eddie before and I’m nervous to post this… And 2. I am not from the US and my knowledge of the school system is basic . Reader, Eddie, Jason and Robin- last year of high school. Chrissy - one year below.

***

Robin had toyed with asking the pretty girl in the romance section if she needed help at least six times since she’d entered Family video ten minutes ago and now as she watched as the girl check her watch and headed for the exit, she was kicking herself

“Bye,” Robin muttered as she returned the girls wave and resisted the urge to drop her head to the counter.

“Say Steve?” She kept her eyes on the door for customers but tilted her head back, calling for her co-worker.

“Yeah?” Steve appeared from around the corner where he was re stocking the horrors.

“What’s the deal with…Chrissy Cunningham?” Robin’s voice dropped just low enough so that only Steve could hear her even though it was only the two of them in the store.

“I thought you’d know her, she’s one grade below you right?” Steve slid over the counter narrowly avoiding the stack of VHS tapes. He regained his composure, straightened his vest and started manually scanning them back in.

Robin rolled her eyes. She’d told Steve about how she’d developed a crush on a girl at school but hadn’t exactly mentioned who despite Steve’s pestering and now, he was being completely oblivious “No dingus…I mean…”

Steve held up his hands “Oh you mean…” he scratched his jaw as he thought. Due to him being a few years apart from Chrissy, he’d never really spoken to her. “I don’t know.” He answered.

You on the other hand had only been one grade below him and he remembered you. He’d been there when you’d reversed into Tommys new convertible deliberately and when you’d punched Curt Baxter so hard he’d wound up with six stitches in his lip. Tina had told the new kids you were a witch and they’d believed her.

You did little to shake the anti-social loser label. Your reputation preceded you so much so that now people left you alone and Steve sensed that was how you liked it.

“Erm… either way…don’t even think about it,” he dropped his voice “Chrissy can’t date until her sister does,”

“Her sister as in…” Robin knew of you, you were in the same Spanish and Math classes and she had seen you in action.

“Yep.” Steve nodded “Their mom doesn’t want Chrissy dating. So there’s a rule,” he gestured with one of the empty boxes. “She can’t until [Name] does, so um… my advice? Move on,” Steve clapped his friend on the shoulder before moving back to scanning in the returns.

“No come on, Steve, I need to just talk to her… I need to know if there’s even the slightest chance… please,” Robin leant forward and yanked one of the tapes out of his hands. “Please?” She pressed.

Steve sighed “Fine, look you didn’t hear this from me but her sister was in here the other day with Ellen Evans talking about how their mom won’t let Chrissy focus on her French because she’s pushing her with the cheerleading so much and now she’s failing and well… you’re like crazy good with languages…”

“Oh my god Steve, that’s perfect!” Robin handed him back the VHS. “I owe you one!”

“Can you cover me on Thursday? Lynn wants to go-,”

Robin groaned “Absolutely not, Harrington,” she cut off Steve before he could elaborate on his date. “We’re still forgetting one obvious problem…Who can we get to take out…[Name]?”

“Oh no. Nonono, not me” Steve shook his head before Robin could ask him for that to be her favour. “Trust me, If she made Carol cry once, she’ll eat me alive… plus I doubt I’m her type.”

He bit his tongue, wracking his brain for potential dates. “Leave it with me. I’ll have a list,”

***

Within ten minutes Steve’s already short list had been whittled down to zero. Steve balled the list up and threw it into the bin.

“I told you it’s a lost cause.”

The familiar chime of the door went off and Robin looked over at the new releases. The guy who’d walked in was tall with long dark hair and was wearing a denim vest covered in patches for bands she’d never heard of over a leather jacket.

“What about him?” Robin tilted her head.

“Eddie the freak Munson?” Raising an eyebrow Steve considered it. He’d never seen you have any clashes with him so that was a start. Eddie definitely wasn’t one of the popular kids you hated so he’d at least be able to talk to you without getting the full brunt of your angry bitch attitude plus Dustin seemed to think he was great. Maybe he could be an option

“Actually… you know, it just might work but you need a way in…like offer him something…you can’t just ask him that, he needs to get something from it…”

“Free rentals?” Instantly Robin stopped herself “Nah we need…something more…Money! we need money…” she looked over at Steve who was drumming a hand on the counter “We could pay him?”

“With what money? My dads practically cut me off so I can’t pay…” he muttered “There’s gotta be someone who can at that school…”

Robin considered it. “I saw Chrissy getting into Jason Carvers’ car yesterday… I mean he’s into her and he’s rich… and stupid” Robin pointed out “But we need someone who can talk to him, I can’t..” she looked down then up at Steve “obviously.”

Steve nodded, understanding his friends worry. “Yeah of course, look Lucas knows Jason right. He can tell Jason about the whole Chrissy dating when [Name] does right? Then he suggests,” Steve nodded his head over at Eddie “Jason will buy it cause it comes from Lucas right? He likes Lucas, I’ll talk to Lucas, I’ll say it’s a friend but not you, okay? I’ll tell him it’s like Keith or something.”

Robin considered it for a moment before she gave Steve a small smile “Thank you.” She paused “But I’m still not covering you on Thursday,”

****a few days later****

“Hey,”

You looked up from your book and found Eddie Munson sitting opposite you as casual as he liked, like he always sat there. Acting like you were the best of friends.

“Hello.” You retuned his greeting, waiting for the big reveal.

You closed your book, confused as to why he was suddenly talking to you. It wasn’t that you didn’t like him. You didn’t know him other than he’d occasionally go on eccentric rants at lunch baiting the likes of the basketball team and earning him nicknames like freak and weirdo from the popular table.

“Can I help you” Was this a strange joke, you wondered as you folded your arms.

“I’m Eddie, How are you?” He was still grinning at you like you were long lost friends, one leg up on another empty chair.

“Pissed off and sweating my ass off because this schools run by tightasses who won’t turn on the aircon and in about ten minutes I have to go listen to Ms Jenkins teach us Hemingway. Yourself?”

“You sure know how to charm a guy don’t you,” Eddie raised an eyebrow and leant over the table slightly. His hand, casually twisted a leather band on his other wrist and you drew your eyes back up to meet his.

“Really? I have? Well consider that my life goal accomplished.” You clasped your hand to your heart with a smirk “But then again you’re here so clearly, I do have something you want,”

“So the graffiti in the boys is right”

He’d heard enough about you that he been popular and said similar he’d end up wearing your lunch but coming from him… you laughed, in what was probably the first time he’d ever heard you do so.

“I paid one of the newbies 5 bucks to scratch that off” the expression was on your face was straight-laced but he could tell you weren’t serious.

“I’d have done it for free.” He grinned at you, full smile on show.

“A gentleman.” You joked and stood up, pulling your bag over your shoulder. “I’m touched.”

“Will I see you Friday then?” Eddie was up and at your side within a few seconds, following you out of the cafeteria, hoping that came out smoother than it sounded.

“Friday? What do you mean?” You stopped in your tracks confused, giving him time to get in front of you.

“Some kid is having a party. I don’t think it’s completely his idea…You going?” Eddie passed you a scrunched up leaflet in a harsh orange.

The idea of party with half of the students at Hawkins High was not his idea of fun. He’d planned on swinging by, only to make some cash selling to meat heads at double the price.

“And you think I’m interested in going to a party with the people who go here? Im surprised you are.” You looked up at him, catching his eye as he pulled a face. A smirk found it’s way across your lips “Ohh.” You clicked “Gotcha. Gotta do what you gotta do.”

The thought of drunk popular kids shelling out daddies money to a fellow outcast made you smile.

He looked side to side before his expression softened a little. The corridor was quiet, just the two of you and a few of the kids who ran the newspaper down the other end. They were too engaged in their own conversation to pay you any attention.

“You’re not scared of me are you?” He asked as if he was genuinely curious.

“No..why? Should I be?” The nonchalance in your voice was evident. You knew the rumours but given that you’d had your fair share of them about you, it was pretty clear that chances of him being in some sort of sacrificial cult was zero.

“Look, forget the party. I don’t care…Let’s just do something” he carded a ringed hand through his dark hair.

“I’ll think about it.” You pressed the leaflet back to him with a half smile tweaking in your cheeks. You’d le lying if you said you didn’t enjoy this casual back and forth. “See you around.”

“I can pick you up” he asked again.

You chuckled a little at his forwardness. “I’m going to a gig on Friday. All-women rock band from out of town… It’s at…” you gestured “this small dive bar, Radleys… It finishes at ten. You can meet me after it.”

****Friday****

Eddie had been watching you from the bar for at least fifteen minutes. The music, whilst not completely awful, was not his thing so he’d instead occupied himself by just watching you. You looked so happy, such a far cry from your stoic attitude within the walls of Hawkins High that he couldn’t help but smile. It was you and the one other girl he’d seen you with sometimes, an arty girl, Ellen.

You were in purple pants with black blouse tied off at the waist due to the humidity of the bar and your hair which had been semi back combed was coming out of its hair grip from how you’d been dancing. Your mascara had smudged under your eyes but you’d never looked hotter. Whilst he watched you move to the music, he wondered if maybe you’d come to a Corroded Coffin gig to watch him. Maybe he’d ask you.

He waited for the guests to dwindle down and the band to begin an encore before making his way over

“Excuse me…”Eddie looked from you to Ellen. “I’m meeting a friend here…Have you seen her?”

You looked up at him and bit your tongue “I heard she’s a bit of a bitch,”

“You’ve misheard. I can tell you…incase you see her…she looks beautiful.”

At that moment, the bands encore was complete and Eddies compliment reverberated around the room, causing you to bring your palm to your face to conceal your laughter.

“So are you coming to hang out with me or do you just want a lift to the totally cool party,” Eddie adopted a poor impression of some of the cooler kids for the last four words and you laughed.

“I’ll…,” you hesitated, lingering on the words “let you decide.”

“I have an idea.” Eddie said. “Right this way, my lady,”

You waved a goodbye to Ellen who was tipsy and climbing in the back of her boyfriends pick up before turning back to him.

“Lead the way, good sir,” you gestured in a royal wave as he reciprocated by offering his arm in an over dramatic way.

A short drive later and Eddie had entered a trailer park and pulled up outside of one towards the middle before jumping out and helping you.

“You live here?” You asked, surveying the outside casually as you flopped into one of the chairs outside of the trailer as Eddie handed you a can of his uncles beer under the assurance that he wouldn’t mind. Your tone was one of curiosity more than derision, which was a welcome change.

He’d seen the house you lived in, big open plan kitchen, wrap around patio and big bay windows. This was a far cry from anything the Cunninghams were used to. If he ever drove down your street, he would not be surprised if some of the elderly curtain twitchers took down his plates or called the police at the out of place van.

“Yeah, with my uncle. I’ll give you a tour later if you like… Uncle Wayne works nights so I have the place to myself a lot, I know it’s not exactly a suburban dream but what do you expect.” Eddie shrugged and slid into the seat beside you, slouching down and cracking open a can for himself.

“Actually I think it’s pretty cool.” You shrugged and leant back, the look of surprise on Eddies face did not go unnoticed. “I wouldn’t mind getting something like this after graduation. I’ll find a job then sort something but I’d need one with a spare room so Chrissy can come stay with me.“

“You two close?”

“Yeah, we always have been… i mean obviously Chrissy’s the golden child. I think our mother gave up with me when I was…” you attempted to recall with a hand wave “I think maybe about 12? I don’t like how much she pushes Chrissy yknow? She doesn’t want her to turn out…like me. She’s my sister, we might be different but I still love her…I want her to have a normal life. Like right now, I’ve asked Ellen from my English class, her mom knows my mom, to say I was at this dumb party so Chrissy can go.”

“And Ellen won’t say you were with me?”

You took a drink and shifted around a little on the chair “She won’t remember, and even if she does…as long as she sticks to the story with her parents…it won’t get back to our mom so…Chrissy’s in the clear. She can say whatever she likes at school, I don’t care”

“You know…” Eddie sat up, placing his can on the rickety plastic table between your chairs looked at you, “I think turning out like you wouldn’t be a bad thing.” Your gaze was trained on him. “I think people have you all wrong.”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing. I don’t think you’re what they say you are,” Your voice was quieter than usual but you made sure he could hear you, you felt it was important. “Not that I take much notice about what they say about me or you or anything, anyway.” you rose your eyebrows and took a drink

“Fuck it. People say all sorts about me. I live in a trailer park, my dads in prison, my mothers…” he stopped “I don’t know where she is…I’ve failed senior year…twice.” he held two fingers up dramatically “they’re going to talk”

“And they think Hellfire is a devil worship group?” Eddie stuck his tongue out dramatically before pulling an exaggerated scary face. He dropped it suddenly with a grin “We just play D&D.”

“You’re playing a game and they think you’re what sacrificing goats or something?” You laughed “God, that’s exactly why I hate high school.”

“Sometimes it’s fun to play up to it, if they’re going to call me a freak or whatever, I might as well go with it,” He bowed dramatically and then smiled at how you were nodding in agreement.

You couldn’t help but warm to him. This was the Eddie that his group were so in awe of and you could see why. Under it all, he was funny and friendly and the right kind of playful that it just put you at ease, you couldn’t help but admire it. He was actually…kind of sweet.

“You should come hang with us sometime.” He offered.

“Do I get to pick my own goat or do you choose?” You quipped making a mock throat slitting before breaking into another laugh. “Am I being recruited!” You clasped your hand to your mouth in a over dramatic display of surprise.

He elbowed you jokingly in the side and your chair toppled back . Within a second Eddie had reached out to stop it, pulling it toward as it balanced perilously on two legs, which made your laugh even louder, so much so one of the lights in the trailer opposite flicked on and an older man peered through the curtain, an annoyed look on his face.

Eddie called out an apology to the other resident and you stifled your laughter, catching your breath. He checked you were okay, only receiving a breathless nod in response.

Suddenly feeling the cold, he leant down and picked up the throw he’d brought from the sofa, passing it to you.

“I mean it. You should.” Eddie offered once more when you were settled under it. “We should hang out again.”

You liked this, just easy conversation under the dim light. The stars more visible here than anywhere in Hawkins. There was something here that just put you more at peace than you’d felt since you could remember.

You rested an arm on his chair and shuffled closer until the throw draped over you both and under the grey fabric, you noticed the first spark as you casually brushed your hand against his, Eddie linked his hands with yours and you savoured the cool silver against your skin as you rested your head in the nook of his shoulder.

“I’d like that.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

He wouldn’t need to. You’d keep good on your word.

****short time skip****

You didn’t know exactly when you realised how much you liked Eddie. If it was the following evening when you went to one of the Hellfire Club nights. The other members had been confused as to your presence but Eddie had told them you were here with him and they’d settled into normal play as usual, even attempting to include you in their conversations. You watched attentively as the other guys were pulled into his campaign, seeing how passionate he was, and enjoying how animated he got when it all started to unfold

You didn’t know if it was the next Friday when you went to watch Crawlspace together at a movie theatre, just the two of you and got thrown out for laughing at how lame it was, and ended up hanging out in the Palace Arcade, trying to cheat the machines that paid out. You ended up just getting food and sitting in the back of his van.

Or if it was you went to watch his band, Corroded Coffin, play at the Hideout. You’d appeared just as he took the stage and due to the crowd being mostly tipsy locals, you got a place by a a table at the front easily. He’d seen you he’d gave you the biggest smile, winked and came off stage to hug you in between songs, loving how much you were getting into it.

If you had to guess it would be the first time he kissed you.

You’d skived off for probably only the second time in your life to go to a paintball arena in a forest just outside of town and that’s how you found yourself crouched behind a bay of hay, scouring the area, trying to wait for the slightest sound of where Eddie might be.

The pair of you were already completely covered in paint splattered overalls but you were now down to your last few and you hadnt seen Eddie in at least ten minutes. Damn, he was good. You popped your head up for a moment to try find him and almost a second later, a paintball went whizzing by you and exploding into vivid blue mere centimetres from your ear.

Deciding to see if you could bait him out, you pretended it had made contact and let out a small yelp. Eddie appeared from behind a hay bale almost as covered at you. “Shit.” You heard him “are you okay?”

His eyes fell on the point of impact against the straw then to you standing, one hand up, crossed fingers held up “Uh-oh, rookie mistake!” as your other hand reached for your bag of paint balloons.

“Ouch.” Eddie clutched his heart, pretending to have been hurt and took on a mock shocked voice “Cheating! What a dirty tactic!”

“Or did you just fall for the oldest trick in the book.” You smirked. “I’ll give you a two second head start.”

“I think…” Eddie stalked towards you and he wiped his hands on his overall. “You owe me…” he paused and his eyes flitted to the blue paint. “A free shot”

Holding your arms out and away from your bag of balloons. “Fair deal…I will take it…”

He took a few steps back threw a bright fuchsia balloon at you, and took off as it exploded on your shoulder. You flinched and when you reopened your eyes, he was gone.

How had you already lost him? You ran after him and rounded a secluded corner. Man, he was quicker than you’d expect.

“Never turn your back.” Eddie’s arms wrapped around your back, and spun you to face him. The movement was a little too quick and you wound up falling backwards, pulling him down with you and landing, cushioned by a hay bale, Eddie on top of you.

“Oops.” You laughed, as you lifted the goggles up and off your face, throwing them to the side.

“You have paint in your hair” Gesturing, you pushed some stray curls back from his face, before taking off his own pair of goggles. He’d made an attempt to tie his hair back into a low bun but it was in vain as his hair was escaping around his face.

“So do you.” Eddie reached up and brushed some dried in green out of your hair

And in that moment, there was a pause, a mutual exchange of understanding before Eddie brought his lips to yours, tilting your chin up with a paint stained thumb and forefinger. Your hand made its way from your side to his hair as he deepened the kiss, moving his other hand from behind you to your hip.

Your other hand found his back and pulled him closer to you, and he squeezed your hip through the overall and you felt yourself warm under his touch. It was such a soft and gentle gesture that you found yourself pulling him down closer to you.

You stayed like that, lips moving in motion against each others, his leg between yours until the sudden sound of people nearby reminded you, you were not alone.

“Eddie…” you muttered against his lips, pecking gently “We should…”

“Get out of here?” Eddie finished your suggestion, a hand coming to rest on your cheek, softly. You savoured the cool silver of his rings against your flushed skin and took a moment before nodding.

“I thought you’d never ask”

With a smile, he pulled you to your feet and took your hand in his.

***

It went on like this for two weeks. Eddie would wave you over to his lunch table and pull you down so you were sat with your legs draped over his, you’d spend your evenings together and sometimes you’d spend the night. Slow, lazy make out sessions had become your routine.

He’d kiss you by your locker and walk to you to your class. The jocks would stare and call the two of you all sorts but he didn’t care.

When he’d accepted Jason’s deal, he’d been expecting you to be different. You were like him in that you were seen as a weirdo, and a social outcast but you weren’t the bitch they painted you out to be.

You were a beautiful person. You were protective of Chrissy, defensive of the art freaks even if you weren’t really friends with them. He’d seen you push Chase against a locker when he’d attempted to harass Dustin Henderson. In being his girl, you’d taken it on yourself to look out for the Hellfire kids. You never judged anything about him or wanted him to be something else. He loved how you just accepted everyone as they were.

You liked feminist poetry, Thai cuisine, and you had a soft spot for arcade games. You read comics, you loved concerts- he knew all the vinyls you owned, and the videos you’d rented. You were brilliant, clever funny and didn’t take any shit. If he was honest, he was kicking himself that he hadn’t spoken to you sooner.

Jason had however asked for one final favour. Get you to go to the latest party so he could take Chrissy. Eddie had told him it was the last time he’d do it and snatched the $100 bill out of his hand, with more force than necessary.

****a few days later ****

Asking you had been easier than expected.

And that’s how you found yourself on the eve of the party, just hanging out in the back of his van outside of one of the cheerleaders homes. Occasionally someone you vaguely knew would come by, knock twice for some baggies but beside that the two of you were left relatively to it.

“I didn’t think you knew this song,” You picked on up the music coming from the tape deck.

Eddie shrugged. “It’s your favourite…you know after you told me that, I listened to it a bit, it’s easy to pick up on…” he mimed an air guitar “So maybe I’ll sing it to you one day…” His hand brushed your hair back before trailing down your arm and linking your hand with his.

You leant in and kissed him. “You know… a few weeks ago that would have been way too soppy for me…”

Eddie grinned back at you “You’re warming to me.”

“Might be.” You quipped giving him a wink, before leaning in to kiss him once more. The kiss grew more passionate, as he used his arms to pull you into him. Lips moving in sync as you wound up lying side by side, his hand on your hip, yours at the bottom of his shirt.

The moment however would not last. A sudden call made you sit up straight.

Jason was calling out as he approached, looking throughly pissed off.

“Oi freak.” He stormed up to Eddies van and stood at the back doors, a furious look on his face “You can forget the rest of the payment. I’m not paying you to suck face with the witch for nothing. Chrissy’s dumped me.”

You felt as if your stomach was about to jump up into your throat and out onto the gravel. You couldn’t even take in that Chrissy had dumped this asshole as your mind still lingered on the bit before that.

“Paid date, huh?” The scorn in your voice was clear. You should have known. You pushed out of the van and began making your way down the street, ignoring Eddie calling after you. He caught up to you quickly and grabbed your arm, spinning you to face him. You wrenched it back.

“Can you let me explain?” He held both of his hands up. “Please.”

Summoning every scrap of nerve you had left, you made yourself look up at him.

“What did you get? Payment now, double for third base, triple if you screw me?” You bit out, with a scoff “Actually you know what…don’t answer that. I don’t want to know…”

All you hoped in this moment was that your face wasn’t as red hot as you felt inside.

“It wasn’t like that! I don’t care about the money…I care about you,”

“No you don’t…You know would never ever have done this to you…even before I knew you.”

His hand went to grab your waist and you pulled back hard. “Can you please just let me-,”

“Enjoy the money. I hope it was worth it. Stay out of my way!”

****the same evening****

“You left early.” Chrissy came in and sat on your bed, “I thought you’d be with Eddie?”

“Oh, we’re… we’re not talking. We broke up…Turns out Jason Carver wanted to get to you so he paid Eddie to go out with me so he never actually liked me.” You got up and flipped your record over to the B-side.

Chrissy was staring at the floor of your room as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders as she let out a sigh.

“When Jason told me one of the guys from the team had found someone for you so he could take me out, I had no idea…” Chrissy began to toy with the hem of her dress. “I told Jason what you liked so he could pass it on, and someone must have told Eddie and I’m sorry…I just really wanted Jason to-“

“Hey…” you reached over and squeezed her hand “None of this is on you. You didn’t know.”

Chrissy stopped, drawing breath “So I’ve been taking French lessons with Robin…Buckley and… she told me her and Steve knew Jason liked me and they came up with the idea to get him to pay your date…so Robin could spend time with me? She and Steve… they thought Jason was just paying the one date…and they thought the rest of it was all you two…”

“Chrissy…” you paused “I don’t care whose idea it was.” Eddie still only went out with me for the money…Asshole move…”

You found yourself processing what your sister said a few minutes late “Wait…you came back with Robin?? Do you like her?” You knew Chrissy liked girls just as much as she liked boys. You’d known since she was 10, but due to your mom latching on to her as the golden child, she’d had kept it between the two of you. Your mom likely would not have been so understanding. “What happened with Jason?”

“I told Jason I didn’t want to see him anymore” Chrissy was quiet. “I found out from Claudine one of the other cheerleaders that had a bet with Chase Harris that he’d…sleep with me tonight…” she trailed off.

“I’m going to kill him.” Instantly you were furious and placated only by her hand on your arm.

“Wait…it’s okay Robin helped me out… she called Steve…Harrington and he took us home and I realised that I actually really like Robin….and she feels the same… She’s so caring and she’s funny and she’s sweet and she’s really hot and-,” she paused, trying to keep her excitement down “I know what people will say so Steve’s going to cover for us… he’s going to say he and Robin are dating if anyone asks…”

Quickly you went over to the door and checked it was shut properly before returning beside her and squeezing her hand. You pulled her into a tight hug without saying anything and when you separated, a smile far more genuine than the one she got over Jason appeared on her face.

“Good for you, Chrissy I’m happy for you… and if anyone says anything… to you or to Robin… tell me.” You warned. “I’ll be only too glad to lay out Jason Carver,”

She laughed and smiled again “No, you don’t have to…All I need is for you to please, if mom asks…”

“I’m still dating Eddie…” you accepted without question. “No problem.”

“You are the best!” She gave you another tight hug, beaming as she did so and made her way to the door to head to her room and no doubt call Robin off the phone from her bedroom. She stopped and looked over her shoulder

“By the way… I don’t think Eddie cared about the money. I think he really likes you.”

***two weeks later****

You spent your lunches and breaks in the art room with Ellen who’d locked the door, you had one class with Eddie of which you decided to skip out.

If you saw him in the corridor, you’d turn and walk in the opposite direction, if you noticed his van was parked near your car, you’d wait until he was gone before going near, you’d resolved to having to ignore him every day until you graduated.

It was getting exhausting and one Friday, desperately in need of switching off, you went into Family Video to rent a cheesy movie to switch off to.

“This one’s personally recommended,” Steve held it out to you, ignoring the quirk of your eyebrow.

“And i know you haven’t seen it. I checked with Chrissy.” Robin tacked on, saving Steve from your questioning.

You’d been visiting every other day since the break up and you’d gotten to know Steve and Robin well enough to have a discussion about the latest releases.

“It doesn’t seem like my type of thing,” you turned the tape over in your hands a few times. “I don’t think I want to watch a romance when I’ve just been through a break up”

“Just…trust us.” You watched as Steve pushed his hair back off his face “If you don’t like it…money back..,oh shit, I shouldn’t mention…I, erm…”

“It’s fine Harrington. You’re alright you know…Chrissy told me what you’re doing for her…and,” your eyes flickered to Robin “Thank you. You’re a good guy.” You handed him the money and the tape for him to get the copy for you.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” He turned his back to you for only moments to fit the contents of the tape.

“Enjoy!” He smiled as he handed it over. You rose your eyebrows and nodded before you left.

“Do you think we sold it?” Robin appeared beside Steve at the counter watching you leave, the glass door still swinging behind you. “Like will she open it?”

“Wait and see… if she returns it and throws it at my head..we’ll know.”

****that evening****

There was no VHS in the box.

You’d wrenched it open the second you got home and found nothing. Well, not nothing. Just a note.

“Come outside at 9pm”- written in Chrissy’s writing. Heart over the ‘i’ included.

This had to be a joke right? Some sort of feel better, literal pity party thrown for you by Chrissy and she’d roped in Robin and Steve.

9pm rolled around quicker than you expected and by 8:58pm you were on the back porch and calling into the darkness.

“Chrissy? What’s going on? What the hell are you…”

The garden was quiet.

“Chrissy?” You called again “Come on this isn’t funny!”

The shuffling of bushes made you jump and you took a few steps back, bracing yourself for whatever was coming, whatever you were expecting�� it was not Eddie emerging from behind one of the roses bushes.

“Hey.” He smiled at you and your stomach betrayed you in that it still twisted.

“What do you want?” You asked matter of factly as you folded your arms, feeling exposed “Suppose you asked Chrissy to write that note?”

“You’d never have come if you thought it was me. You’d have told me to fuck off.” Eddie reasoned.

“Yeah” You shrugged and you couldn’t help but laugh “I would have,”. Exhaling, you uncrossed your arms and dropped to sit on the step “Which you can’t blame me for, I don’t know why I’m not saying that now”

Eddie shook his head “Neither do I…look it was a shitty shitty thing to do…but I need you to know I’m sorry…I should have told you,”

He looked from you to his Reeboks and back again. “I know it doesn’t change things but…” Eddie reached into his back pocket and fished out an envelope. “I want…You should have this…”

You quirked an eyebrow and against your better judgement you reached for it. The spark that shot through you when your fingers brushed did not go unnnoticed. Sliding up to open it, you reached in and pulled out the paper inside.

“Concert tickets.” You exhaled seeing the tickets “Are they for me?”

“Yeah…they’re your favourite band and I figured you’d wanna see them live.” Eddie rocked on his shoes, scraping the grass.

“How did you-…”

“I had some extra cash…Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl…” He took a few casual strides towards you.

“Bet she was pissed.” You smirked one sided, leaning against the post of the porch.

“Mmm-hmmm,” Eddie nodded, his mouth forming into a tight line “You could say I fucked up pretty bad?”

“Oh colossally.”

Another nod, before he took two steps and dropped beside you, keeping a small distance. “Yep…especially as considering I realised…I really like her.”

He diverted his attention to the steps.

“Oh did you?” You tried not to sound surprised.

“Yeah… pretty much from the first evening I spent with her.” Eddies dark eyes were now on yours.

You laughed and he took that as an opportunity to slip one hand around your neck and into your hair and pull you into a kiss. Reciprocating for only a few seconds, you pulled back.

“You know you can’t just buy me concert tickets every time you-…”

“I’ll work my way through your record collection until you’ve seen every band you have?” Eddie joked and pulled you back in for another kiss. “I’m messing around but I know.” He placated.

“You like me too.” He separated, before kissing you once again causing you to roll your eyes slightly even though you were now smiling.

You nodded “Yes. I like you too.”

“Good. Does that mean we can start over?” Eddie asked tracing a thumb over your cheek.

“Yes.” You agreed

“In which case, how do you feel about making out on the first date?” A playful grin appeared on his lips.

You answered him by pulling him back into you sealing his lips with yours.

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x female character #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine

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claraswritings · 2 years

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May I offer some constructive writing criticism?? It will be very kind I promise!

Erm sure as long as you’re nice about it 😊

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claraswritings · 2 years

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I loveee the idea of the gender swap with it being Robin!

I do too! I think that’s what I will go for! 🥰

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claraswritings · 2 years

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So another idea and this is entirely inspired by a TikTok

10 things I hate about you AU

Eddie as the Patrick Verona and Reader as the Kat Stratford

Reader is Chrissy’s sister.

Jason is the douchebag that wants to take out Chrissy.

Someone else can be Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character - not sure who maybe one of the other guys on the team- any ideas welcome

this idea is like swimming around my head and idk if I will write it- maybe?

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson concept #Eddie Munson imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine

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claraswritings · 2 years

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Skin of the Night

Pairing: Peter Ballard x female reader

Warnings: erm,, Peter kills someone…, spoilers, language,Peter being instantly obsessed Joe Goldberg style. Ambiguous ending ie you can imagine it went the show way or not if you like.

Notes: I have never written anything like this before so this is me trying something different. This is not proof read so I will correct any spelling or grammar mistakes later.

Peter had never seen you here before, he was sure of it. He would have remembered you. You had to be new to town.

You were pretty, dressed in simple blue jeans and an oversized tee shirt and the strap of your bag hung loosely over your shoulder. You weren’t craving attention but you captured his anyway… it wasn’t your looks, no, although you were beautiful, it was how you held yourself.

Your expression was soft as you smiled at him like he was an old friend. You were different. Although there were not many, the visitors to Hawkins Lab were usually apprehensive, cautious even. They’d walk around on edge like the kids were dangerous animals and like the orderlies were the zoo keepers. Not you though. You’re kind, Peter could tell.

“Hi,” you spoke. You had a nice voice, Peter noticed.

“Hi,” he repeated your greeting, making sure to keep his tone calm and friendly. He wanted you to trust him.

You introduced yourself.

“I’m here to see my uncle Martin…sorry, Dr.Brenner,”

Peter blinked a little surprised by your statement. That was unexpected. Dr.Brenner was a ruthless man so when he’d heard the doctor mention his niece, he’d expected someone…well, he hadn’t been expecting you. You seemed kind, friendly and everything the doctor was not.

Did you know what went on at the laboratory? Did you know how cruel your uncle could be? How he treated the children, how he’d treated him.

No, Peter decided. You wouldn’t. You’d never approve. Brenner must be lying to you. Peter felt angry for you and the urge to tell him the truth boiled in his veins but he’d have to wait. He’d gain your trust, then he’d tell you everything.

“How lovely, I’ll let him know,” Peter covered his surprise well. “Please take a seat,”

***

Not wanting to leave the room, for fear he’d miss something about you. Peter had pretended to be organising paperwork whilst you spoke with your uncle. He was memorising everything he could about you, gathering information and collecting any and every detail he could, mentally noting it all so he could use it to win you over later.

Much to Brenner’s annoyance, you made attempts to include Peter in the conversation. You’d turn to him, smile tweaking at the corners and ask for his thoughts and Brenner would purse his lips tight and stare him down until he finished talking.

The thought of you knowing it was pissing off Brenner and doing it anyway thrilled Peter. He hoped desperately that was the case. You had to have caught the looks Brenner was giving Peter. Peter could have savoured it all afternoon, oh if only… but your next words brought that to a screeching halt.

“I gotta go, Uncle Martin, I’m meeting Harry,” you smiled at your uncle as you stood up and shrugged your small coat back on over your shoulders. “He’s taking me to see some new movie at the drive in”

Peter concealed the urge to instantly look your way and instead focused on the papers he’d been looking at so hard that the words started to blur and the pages started to crease under the tension. Harry? Who was he. There was no ring on your finger so that ruled out a husband. Brenner had only ever mentioned his niece, never a nephew so it chances of it being a brother were low. A boyfriend would complicate things.

“Okay sweetheart, come see your uncle again soon, won’t you?” Brenner smiled at you “Have fun with Harry,”

“Of course,” you smiled before turning “Bye, Peter, it was nice to meet you,” you waved at him and he couldn’t help but notice how geniune you sounded, like you actually meant it.

From other people, those words would be a simple sentiment, a token gesture said in the way most people would say hello to a co-worker or ask how someone’s day was… but you, you seemed like you actually had enjoyed meeting him. How he hoped he’d see you again soon.

“Bye,” he repeated your name as he relaxed his grip instantly . “Anything you need, I’ll be right here,” he gave you a friendly smile and returned your wave. On your next visit, he would not be caught off guard next time. He’d make sure of it.

The first thing Peter did was go to your home whilst you were out with whoever Harry was.

He had your address from the visitors form and given that visitors to Hawkins Lab were few and far between, it was easy to determine which was yours. Being allowed to leave the lab for short periods was the smallest of freedoms and he had to be make the most of it and be quick before Brenner realised where he was.

Of course he was still powerless with this ridiculous Soteria tracking device in his neck, he was left with the rather rudimentary method of unlocking your door with a lock pick.

How helpful it would be to see your fears so he could protect you from them, and your desires, so he could give them to you. Peter made a note to himself to step up his plan involving getting the girl he’d been making progress with, 011, to remove it. He had been planning on escaping by any means necessary once it was removed but now… now getting you was the top priority. Maybe you could escape with him and the girl, You could help them expose Brenners whole scheme. Once you knew the truth, you’d never see him the same way.

As the satisfying click signalled the door to your home had been opened, Peter slipped the lock pick back into his coat pocket, stepped in and shut the door behind him carefully and began surveying his surroundings.

He started with the lounge. It was neat and homely, cosy even. No sign of another man, which was good as it made one thing clear…that whoever Harry was to you, it was nothing serious. A record player sat on your coffee table, and a small television with a shelf filled with videos above it. He skimmed the titles and was intrigued to see nearly all of them were horrors, thrillers with dark and gloomy covers along with the occasional science fiction. Peter had little time for movies with work, but the morbidity of the name intrigued him and well, if you were interested in these…things, he’d make time.

There was a desk drawer, double locked, and despite much wiggling with the lock pick. It did not budge. Peter cursed Brenner and squeezed hard at the spot on his neck where the Soteria lay, willing it to come out, wishing for the day he had his powers back. Whatever was in there, you’d protected it more than your front door so it had to be important. With a few deep breaths, Peter attempted to calm the rage in his veins and reminded himself he would head back once his abilities were restored, or by then, maybe you’d tell him.

He moved into your bedroom next with a curious eye. Your bed was made with plenty of scatter pillows and a throw , the lamp on your bedside table accompanied with a candle and a well worn book. He thumbed through it, the name and the author now ingrained in his mind. Peter opened your large closet and went through some of your clothes, the variety standing out to him as he pictured his clothes next to yours. Given that he spent most of his days in the confines of the lab, he did not have a variety of outfits like you did. A few shirts and jeans and a old jacket was the extent that he had. Maybe you’d help him pick out more once he was truly free. The idea set his heart racing in a way he’d never felt before.

He could almost imagine you were there, if he closed his eyes, he could picture he was with you, lying on your couch, him resting back on you as you stroked his hair or in bed, kissing your soft lips, tracing your cheekbones and marking your neck or walking with you through Hawkins, hand in hand, you leaning in on his arm.

For Peter, it was pointless interacting with most other people. They were dull, routine, all the same but you, you were so… so special. You had to be, it was the only explanation Peter could think of as to why he was so drawn to you.

***

Peter left your place soon after and returned to his duties, making sure the children were fed and in their beds before he fixed the Rainbow Room and headed to one of the offices to monitor the cameras set up. The phone, as if on cue, rang only moments after he’d sat down.

“Hi Peter,” it was you. You’d remembered his name, he savoured the thought of taking up space in your brain. You sounded a little breathless and relived to hear him.

“Hello, how lovely to hear from you again, are you okay?” He had to conceal how happy he was that you were calling. It was almost too good to be true.

“Oh my god this is going to sound so stupid…,” you paused and Peter desperately wanted to press you to continue, to say what was unsaid, “look, erm, can I come back? I’ll bring you food? I promise, is there anything you want in particular?”

“Of course you can,” he reassured you “As I said, anything you need I’ll be right here, and I’ll trust your judgement on the food,”

As the phone hit the receiver with a click, he leant back. You. In his company. It was sooner than he could have hoped.

“Hi,” you said, as he opened the door, “Can I come in? I’m freezing and I don’t know anyone else here,” Your hair was a little damp and your small jacket was rain soaked. In one hand, your car keys and in the other, a bag of take out. Peter took it from you to allow you a free hand. You looked beautiful. All he wanted was to take care of you and keep you warm. The mascara you’d had on had run a little but your lipstick was still fresh. Had you reapplied it for him?

The thought of you, slightly rain soaked but still applying lipstick for his benefit caused a shiver of anticipation down his back.

“Of course,” he nodded “You look cold. Come with me, I’ll make you a hot drink, and we can have the food you brought,”

“That would be amazing. Thank you Peter,”

He lead you down the corridors until you reached his living quarters. Brenner was insistent on all staff remaining on site overnight so provided the facilities. It was basic, the lounge, the kitchen and the bedroom all one room, plain coloured magnolia walls, a beige carpet and stainless steel counters with a small bathroom off to the side.

He busied himself making you a drink and unpacking the food, whilst you took a seat. The image of you, in his quarters made his heart rate quicken. He wondered what you’d do if he told you he wanted you right then and there but no, he had to be smart, startling you would not work in his plan to win you over.

“You stay here?” You sounded surprised. Clearly your uncle didn’t tell you everything.

“Yes,” Peter stirred, hoping you would mistake his careful words for genuine concern “the children…he…looks after, they’re… they need support and technically I’m never off the clock,” He turned to you, placing the steaming mug beside you, his own in the other hand. “Not that I mind. Most of them just need a friend,”

“Yeah, I bet… I know that feeling,”

Peters head quirked at your words. Good, he thought to himself upon hearing your reply was a canid display of vulnerability. Were you suggesting he could be that friend? He’d show you he could be so much more.

“Don’t we all,” Peter tilted his head at you. “It can be lonely for people like us… them,” He let the deliberate ‘us’ slip before correcting himself “the kids are all very special,”

“I think it’s sweet how you look out for them,” you leant imagine to take a sip, sleeves pulled over your hands, your lips leaving a red lipstick mark on the plain white of his mug. “I’m sure they appreciate it, you doing as much as you can…it must be hard for them… being so sick…that plus the experimental treatments and being away from their family… they’re lucky to have you,”

Ah. So that was the line Brenner was feeding you. He was looking after the children, keeping them safe, curing them. Is that what he told himself? The chip in Peter’s neck seemed to burn deeper against his skin as he fought the urge to reach into the drawer for the dull butter knife and attempt to cut it out. It wouldn’t be successful of course, Peter knew. He’d tried.

He thought about if you’d scream, if you’d be sad at the image of him bloody and bruised, would you stay at his side, would you call for Brenner?

“Peter?” Your concerned tone brought him back to present you, looking at him, brow slightly furrowed. “Are you okay?”

Yes, Peter knew it. You were different, Peter had grown sick, exhausted even, of other people. The human race in general seemed so…boring and so pointless. And yet as his eyes met yours, he saw you were entirely focused on him and he felt his gaze soften. You were the one person in this world worth it all. His exception to his rule that humanity was completely pointless.

“Yes,” Peter placated you, before taking his spot opposite you against the counter and taking a drink from his own mug and sitting your plates down.

“I was just distracted… i was thinking about one of the children, she’s a good kid, so smart…I think she will be…the most successful…treatment of them all,” he stressed the word treatment, hoping you’d catch on to how the lab was doing anything but.

You beamed at him. “That’s amazing! Hopefully I can meet her one day when she’s better,”

“Oh I think she’d like that very much. We both would”

***

You spent the evening talking, eventually moving from the counter to sit at the pine coffee table. Peter couldn’t help but realise it was the first conversation he’d had with an adult wherein he didn’t feel under a microscope or waiting for him to perform like a circus freak.

“How was your…day with… Harry, was it?” Peter didn’t want to acknowledge the other man by name but he needed you to know he listened to you and remembered. This way he could gauge if Harry was a concern.

Peter watched your expression change. You itched the side of your neck in a manner that suggested you were not so pleased with Harry.

“Not very well, he wants to go out again in a few days…but I’m not sure…”

What a relief. He thought to himself. Peter had never met Harry but he didn’t need to. It was obvious you should be with him. You were funny, clever and witty and Harry was not right for you.

“Is…that not something you’d like,”

“We went to dinner which was nice then a movie, which…wasn’t really for me…but I picked dinner so he picked the movie, only fair. I don’t think we’re going to work out but I’ll probably see him once more to be sure,”

“That doesn’t seem fair to me,” Peter leant in “I’d let you…I mean…my date pick both,”. The flicker across your features did not go unnoticed. Where you thinking of him with you on a date, imagining it was him with you instead of Harry wishing you’d gone out with Peter instead.

“What would you’ve liked to see instead,” he asked you. He knew regardless of the answer, he’d pretend he knew of it, and sit through it. It would be easy to enjoy anything that got him closer to his goal of having you.

“Don’t laugh at me,” you were already smiling at him, your hand half concealing your mouth

“Don’t be silly, I would never,” Peter grinned widely at you, hoping it would encourage you into sharing. He wanted to reach across and squeeze your hand to reassure you that you were safe with him.

“I really like horrors…I wanted to see The Amityville Horror,”

Peter opted to play coy, he’d heard about it. Some of the other staff had been discussing it and given the story, it had piqued his interest.

“Is that the one about the family that move into the cursed house?” A smile tweaked at his lips.

“I heard good things about that one…I wanted to see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” Peter said. It was a small lie. He’d never bothered but he remembered it as one of the videos you had at home. “But I never got around to seeing it,”

“Oh!” Your eyes lit up and you suddenly sat up, a new lease of life behind your words “I LOVE that one,” the excitement in your voice was contagious. “It’s one of the best, I have it on video,“

“Is it scary?” Peter asked. “I heard it was,” he pressed further wanting to know if you scared easy.

“I mean yeah but like in a good way?” You enthused. “I’m a bit fascinated with creepy stuff like that,”

“Oh are you?” Peter’s tone dropped a little as his smile spread. He wondered if you knew about “the Creel murders” Maybe you did…maybe you liked the story sold to the masses about the house allegedly driving Victor Creel crazy and him killing his children and wife, maybe you did know about it. Maybe you liked the idea of it so much you’d buy into a horror with a similar story. There was something so alluring about that, Peter could help but hope that was the case.

“You’re laughing at me,” you protested and playfully pushed his arm as if you were old friends.

“No,” Peter tilted his head “I’m just surprised but I like that… that you’re into weird movies, maybe we can watch it together,”

“Yes! That would so good,” You suddenly you shifted and leant over closer to him, his words encouraging you “God you must think I’m so morbid, but truth be told, I can’t get enough of all that creepy stuff,” your voice dropped. “I used to tell the other kids stories at school and one of them cried, I felt a bit bad but it was kinda funny,”

A laugh came from your throat. This side of you was different, but he liked it. It made him want you even more.

***

Two weeks had passed since his first solo conversation with you and Peter had spent the time stepping up his efforts each and every time you visited. When you’d bid your uncle goodbye, you’d squeeze Peters arm on the way out. It had become a silent gesture to mean you’d met him at his quarters.

It had not gone unappreciated as it seemed each time you went to his quarters, you’d stay later and later. It wasn’t quite in the romantic way Peter had hoped but it was getting closer. Lingering touches, a longing glance here and there. You had to feel it too.

The last time you’d visited, he had a gift ready. He’d bought you a video. It was another horror that he’d purchased from a store in town, he’d told the sales assistant what you liked from what he remembered in your home and selected one he didn’t think you had.

As per your routine, you squeezed his arm, your touch once again sent the heat of your fingers through the fabric of his shirt, and he excused himself quickly to meet you down there.

“… I have something for you,” you’d barely turned into the corridor when he’d used this as an excuse to take your arm and lead you into the room. “Here, close your eyes now,” he spoke to you gently, clicking the latch on the door and his heart soared when you complied. If he had his powers, he could do anything right here with you completely off guard. He wouldn’t. Peter would never hurt you of course.

“The man in the store said it’s good. I don’t know if you’ve seen it,” he reached for your arms, held your hands out being careful to linger his fingers over yours as he pressed the gift into them.

Upon opening your eyes and looking over his choice for you, the smile you gave him was worth any risk. Peter would kill for that smile. Gladly.

“Thank you Peter, I haven’t seen this one,” you held on to it tightly “I wanted to but I never…I never got the chance, maybe we can watch it together,”

“I’d like that,” Peter reached down and brushed your hair back “One day we will.”

Your eyes met his and it was like you communicated to him in that moment that whatever this was…it was mutual. He knew it. You felt the same.

“Oh shit,” your eyes fell on the clock “I forgot I was meeting Harry,”

“You’re… you’re seeing him again?” Peter hesitated. “I thought things weren’t going well,”

You shrugged. “I mean, they’re not but…I figure I’ll give him one last chance,”

Peter once more reached for your hand “You’re too sweet,” he smiled. “I like that about you but be careful he doesn’t take you for granted,”

“Thank you for looking out for me, Peter,” you pressed up on your toes and kissed his cheek.

As Peter watched you go, this made one thing clear. Harry had to go.

The next day he’d managed to convince 011 to remove his tracker and he put the last step of his plan into action. He’d promised to he’d help her escape that evening but that he had something to take care of first.

As he stood outside of the other man’s house, he took a breath, in and out. Peter knew he couldn’t kill him the second he opened the door, however tempting that would be. He needed to do it inside.

“Harry, is it?” Peter asked the moment the door was opened. Harry, was about his height, light brown hair, broad shouldered and dressed in a black leather jacket “I’m Peter, we have a mutual friend, can I come in?”

“Sorry, man I’m just,”

Sensing Harry was about to block the door, Peter quickly put pressure on it, causing Harry to lose his grip and allowing Peter to slip in to the property. Harry turned to face him, closing the door. Good, closed meant no witnesses.

“[Name]. the girl you went out with. You’re not going to see her again,” Peter stalked further into the hallway taking care to keep his voice calm and in the same tone he used for the children. “I don’t think it’s good…you hanging around her,”

His eyes focused on a painting on the wall as he wondered if Harry had anyone to miss him.

“You’re not her boyfriend, man why do you care?” Harry was defensive “She can do whatever she likes,”

“I’m not her boyfriend, not yet but…she’s for me now,” Peter turned back to the other man.

Harry’s eyes narrowed at Peter. “What the fuck are you talking about, freak, get out of here, I have to get ready for work,”

Peter had hoped it would come to this. He smiled politely and made as if he was going to head for the door, but paused.

Harry had barely taken three steps up before he stopped, held in place unable to move further.

“What the fuck is happening… are you doing this,” There was a slight tinge of panic in Harry’s voice as he realised he was locked into place on the third stair, unable to progress further.

“Oh Harry, you should have listened,” Peter’s voice darkened and the sudden change caught Harry off guard. He rested one hand on the door knob “I gave you an easy out,”

“What are you tal-…” The other man wouldn’t be given the chance to end his sentence.

With merely a look over his shoulder, Peter cut him off, Harry had fallen to the floor with his leg bent up under his back into a heap at the bottom of the stairs.

“You should be careful, It’s icy outside,” Peter stated before tilting his head and exiting out into the cold. “You could slip,”

Harry let out a strained strangled scream before the sound of his last words were cut out by his head twisted uncomfortably backwards.

Peter could imagine the headlines now. He’d slipped and fallen.

***

Confident with his restored powers, he returned to the lab. As he moved from room to room, he set about incapacitating the other orderlies, snapping necks with a stare and an extended arm. Peter was careful, he couldn’t risk being caught not before he could get to Brenners office and take care of him once and for all.

He could hear Brenner in the office from down the hall, so he made his way carefully to the door and entered, however when he saw inside the office, he froze. It wasn’t Brenner. It was you. Arms rifling through files and paper work scattered around you. You dropped the documents you were holding

“What… are you doing,” Peter stated. He could see your eyes run over him and subconsciously he checked his nose for blood.

“Something is going on at this lab,” you stood up “He’s experimenting on the kids, they’re not sick, they’re, like, telekinetic,” you paused “I don’t…I don’t quite know how it all works but…,”

Peter bit his lip considering the confession you’d just given him “You…you know?”

“Well I’ve had my suspicions for a while…it’s why I came here, the girl you were telling me about… we can help her, we can help them,”

You leant up and pressed a kiss to his lips and in an instant his hands were on your hips, pulling you tightly against him. The kiss was everything he’d imagined and so much more. He almost never wanted it to end.

“You think I don’t know,” you smirked at him, arms linked around the back of his neck, before you moved a hand to where the Soteria had been. “It’s gone,” you smiled as Peter inhaled sharply as you traced the scar where his inhibitor once resided and only exhaled when you kissed him once more, and moved your hands into his hair.

“You said it yourself, you’re never really off the clock,” Peter felt his shoulders ease as you kissed him again “It’s okay, Peter,” you kissed him once more. “I’m with you, I’m on your side, they won’t hurt you again,”

You pulled away for a moment before.

Peter didn’t want to help all of them, just the girl. He’d find her, 011, then you’d leave. The other kids would be an unfortunate casualty, the three of you being the only survivors. Yes. It would be perfect.

“Okay, get out of the building through the staff exit, I’ll get the girl, have the car running,” he ran a hand through his hair. “We’ll have a fresh start,” he instructed.

You gave him another kiss before you headed to the door.

“Don’t be too long,” your voice lingered

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he gave you a smile, it was true, now that he had you, he had no intentions of ever letting you go.

#peter ballard imagine #peter ballard x reader #peter ballard x you #001 x reader #001 imagine #001 x you #peter ballard #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine

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claraswritings · 2 years

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So I had an idea for a Peter Ballard x Reader fic. I will put spoilers behind the cut and I have tagged spoilers.

If I do write it, it likely won’t be immediately but yeah I s an idea I have…

So it would be a semi-AU… where in he’s not quite Vecna and he can leave the lab but he’s still a killer…

I’m thinking he’s a Joe Goldberg type where in he becomes obsessed with the reader and maybe starts trying to manipulate her into going out with him and maybe he kills off people who try stop them being together… like he could kill someone by snapping their neck and make it look like an accident.

She’s completely oblivious because to her he’s just the nice guy who works at the lab and helps the children.

Maybe she’s Brenners niece or something?

#peter ballard #peter ballard x reader #Peter Ballard imagine #vecna #stranger things imagine #stranger things spoilers #spoilers #st4 spoilers

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claraswritings · 2 years

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MASTERLIST

IMPORTANT

Code

☀️ - fluff only, 🌤 - some angst but happy ending ☁️ - ambiguous ending, ⛈ downer ending

Canon typical violence, language in all fics.

I don’t write smut as I’d like my blog to be for all ages but there will be some sexual implications in a few fics

I’m not taking requests but if you’d like to send ideas, or chat then please do

Most fics are written with a female reader. If it can be read as gender neutral, I’ve put GN.

As much as possible, I do not give the reader any descriptions i.e thin, curvy, white, black, short, tall etc. You can read them however you like.

If the reader is listed as a sibling of a certain character, it’s usually written so that you can read it as if they’re adopted.

Spoilers for ALL content I write about

You are responsible for your own consumption

I no longer write for GoT or The Haunting

GAME OF THRONES

Arthur Dayne

The Princess and the Knight AU where Rhaegar is King and Ser Arthur Dayne loves his sister -Targaryen!Reader- ☀️

Euron Greyjoy

Dangerous Plans - Reader is promised to Euron Greyjoy by her sister. She decides to make the best of her situation. Lannister!Reader - ☁️

Gendry Waters

Run Away - Gendry and Reader make plans - Stark!Reader 🌤/☁️

Jaime Lannister

Real Love - An arranged marriage turns out to be your perfect match- Baratheon!Reader 🌤

Jon Snow

A Love worth waiting For- Jon has always loved you…but you are betrothed to Robb- Baratheon!Reader 🌤

Betrayal - Jon is preoccupied with Dany- Stark!Reader ⛈

Permanent Guest - Jon would like it if you stayed - Mormont!Reader ☀️

Sandor Clegane

Bodyguard AU- Celebrity!Reader has a new boyfriend that isn’t as bad as he seems 🌤/☁️

KINGSMAN

Eggsy Unwin

You’re My Best Friend- It takes Charlie to make Eggsy realise he’s in love with you - ☀️

MARVEL

Bruce Banner

Lab Partners - You’re working with Dr. Banner but he’s surprised to learn it’s him rather than the Hulk you’re impressed with - ☀️

Bucky Barnes -

It’s Been a Long, Long Time - Bucky has loved Steve’s sister since the 1940s - Rogers!Reader ☀️

Move on - You and Bucky had a good thing going…until the snap and the blip - ⛈ - GN

Hope Not Too Long - Bucky returns after the blip 🌤

Matt Murdock-

Loving you is Easy - Soulmate AU - Matt has you, You don’t think you have a mark - 🌤

Inside your Mind - Established Relationship, Matt worries about telling you his secret. Semi-sequel to the above but also its own thing - 🌤

MCU!Peter Parker

The Right Choice - Tony’s daughter has every faith that her late father chose the benefactor of EDITH correctly - Stark!Reader 🌤

The Boy Next Door - You’ve lived across the hall from Peter for some time- The two of you have a crush on each other - 🌤

One Condition - You have your suspicions after bad guys get into your school - 🌤 -GN

Natasha Romanoff

Come Back To Me - Nat’s girlfriend deals with the fallout of Nat’s mission to Voromir - 🌤

Always Meet Your Heroes - Nat helps you out when the city is under attack - ☁️ - GN

Peter Quill-

Movie Love - Peter meets another scavenger- she’s also from Earth - ☀️

Blast From the Past - You thought your childhood friend had disappeared but he’s in your kitchen ☀️- GN

Scott Lang

New Recruit - Your friend Sam asks you to bring in the new recruit- What happens when he happens to be your cute neighbour ☀️

Steven Grant

Stay For Now, I Love You Forever - Steven meets s girl and falls in love. Marc falls too -🌤️

TASM!Peter Parker

All I Want - Peter and you have been friends for sometime. He realises he loves you but is it too late? - 🌤

I Was Meant to Know You - When your universes Peter ropes you into help the villains, why do feel drawn to one of the other Peters? - 🌤

I Was Meant to Love You - Having followed Peter 3 back to his universe, he finds you. Sequel to the above - ☀️

Thor Odinson

A Work of Art - Thor shows his appreciation for a reader passionate about art - ☀️

Quentin Beck

Beauty In Chaos - Master manipulator Mysterio awakes to find the Shield operative he’d romanced by his bed - ☁️/ ⛈

RPF

Jake Gyllenhaal

I Find My Way Back to You - Jake and you break up over a co-star. He regrets it - 🌤

I See Nothing But You - Jake is dating Tom’s sister and is interviewed about her- Holland!Reader ☀️

Tom Holland

Premier date - Tom’s perfect date has been there the whole time ☀️ - GN

STRANGER THINGS

Eddie Munson

I Want You To Want Me - Inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You wherein Robin likes Chrissy, Jason likes Chrissy and Chrissy can’t date until you do- Cunningham!Reader 🌤️/☀️

Peter Ballard/001/Vecna/Henry Creel

Skin of the Night - Peter is obsessed with YOU- ☁️

Steve Harrington

I Fell in Love with You in Stages - multi-part (20 lol) fic following Dustin’s sister and Steve through the events of s1-s3 from kind of enemies to friends to lovers - Henderson!Reader 🌤/☀️

THE HAUNTING

Hugh Crain

Waking Up with… Headcanons - Waking up with young Hugh Crain - ☀️- GN

Solace - you and young Hugh Crain are the only two that understand each other 🌤 - GN

Luke Crain

Late - Luke is late home but you don’t mind ☀️ - GN

Love in the Strangest Places - you do not expect the rehab Center to be where you fall in love - 🌤

Especially You - You get a call from your friends brother- turns out there’s a lot about Luke you don’t know 🌤

Unexpected - Your late night booty call runs out on you. Your pregnancy test is positive 🌤

Meeting You Again - you left for Rome during college- Luke thought he would never see you again 🌤

Not a People Person Until I Met You - You’re not the most friendly person, more into bars and your one close friend- Until Luke Crain comes into your life - 🌤

Exactly As You Are - Luke loves you. Just as you are ☀️

Stay - You help Luke out when he’s cold and alone. Your kindness sticks with him and he calls you after he’s poisoned 🌤

Wedding Day - You and Luke are getting married ☀️

Steve Crain

Took You Long Enough - Steve’s had a thing for you forever ☀️

Theo Crain

Workplace Romance Headcanons - Headcanons about meeting Theo and starting up a workplace romance - ☀️

In the Dark - Theo has nightmares. She’s glad you are there 🌤/☁️

Prom Date- Teenage romance with Theo - ☀️

TED LASSO

Jamie Tartt

Conversation - Enemies to Lovers, you are the player liaison officer at Richmond and Jamie is a colossal prick. Until he isn’t - 🌤️/ ☀️

53 notes · View notes

claraswritings · 2 years

Text

Inside Your Mind

Pairing: Matt Murdock x fem Reader- Set post-S3 (and post-Endgame as it is a sort of sequel to Loving You is Easy but also kinda it’s own thing.

Warning: some violence from a random gang member, language, some angsty thoughts, fluff, mentions of Soulmate marks, soft Matt. Mentions of the black costume and the red suit because he’s hot in both 🥵

**This is long… i thought it wouldn’t be but it’s 9.8k and if you spot the Easter egg you get all the love **

***

“So, what’s a pretty girl like you doing here… you wanna get out of here?” The man who’d been staring unblinking at you had decided to make his move and slide down the bar, causing the urge for you to roll your eyes to surge.

“Thats nice of you to offer but…I like it here…and I already have my soulmate” You gestured over at the table.

“Which one? Scarf, the other chick, or…,” the man attempted to pry.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Matt was at your side right on cue, as if he’d appeared from nowhere, cane tucked under his arm and beer bottle in hand. “Did you need a hand with your drink,”

His white shirt sleeves were rolled up, the top few buttons undone as his tie hung loosely around his neck, his dark glasses framing his face and his hair tousled from running his fingers through it after a busy day. You lingered over him for a moment, thinking how lucky you’d got that he, of all people was your soulmate.

After years of accepting you’d probably never find your soulmate, he’d found you and now you were inseparable. That’s how it had been since a few months ago when he’d told you he loved you. You’d never even thought you had a soulmate until Matt felt his name on you and confirmed he was yours as you were his. Out of the corner of your eye, you stole another glance at him, you’d have liked nothing more than make your excuses and leave to take him home for some alone time. As if he could read your mind, he pulled you in to him.

“Hey Matty,” you tiptoed and pressed a kiss to his lips, lingering a second longer than usual for a peck. You linked in at his arm and squeezed gently.

“He’s your boyfriend?” The man jerked a thumb at Matt. “Him? Really? just…,”

“You know I’m blind, not deaf,” Matt made one of his usual jokes but his tone was flat as he cut the man off, showing he was less than impressed with the guys sad attempt at flirting. “I can hear you,”

“Oh no dude, that’s not what I’m getting at, you can have hot chicks too… just…really? She’s your soulmate,” he waved a hand at Matt, who just nodded “what are you, man? What do you do? I’m in banking,”

“Lawyer,” Matt’s grip on the glass tightened and you placed a reassuring hand on his arm.

“Landman and Zack?” Jason suggested “I’ve seen their offices, nice views,”

“No, I don’t care much for views,” Matts tone was deadpan and you could hear Foggy and Karen trying not to laugh from the booth behind you.

“Surely the best firms are the ones that defend good people, Matt’s being modest,” you said proudly and Matt grinned.“He has his own firm, He’s the best lawyer in the city” you leant on his arm, and snuck another glance up at him.

“Joint best,” you heard Foggy call from the table, only for Karen to gently kick him. She shushed him and had now completely turned to face the conversation and was listening intently, enjoying how Jason was turning pale.

“Oh…” he shot a glance to Foggy and back to Matt “Yeah yeah I recognise you, I’ve seen you guys…Fisk case…and the Castle one right?”

“Yeah and my Matt also won a lawsuit against a pharmaceutical company. Got this kid and his family 11 million,”

Matt grinned down at you. It was sweet how proud you were of him.

The other man looked like he was considering his next move “Well great… if things go wrong…I’ve been Jason.” He gestured to himself with both hands. The man held out a napkin presumably with his number on it and he winked at you, somewhat shocking you with his audacity.

You didn’t take it. You just waited awkwardly for him to lower his hand. When he didn’t, Matt moved his arm quickly in a fake stretch and “accidentally” knocked over an abandoned bottle, discarded on the sticky surface of an uncleaned table. You savoured the panic on Jason’s face when Matt reached for the napkin and used it to mop up the spillage, blurring Jason’s number into unreadable blue mush.

“Clumsy me,” Matt smiled at Jason, so politely the other man couldn’t quite react when in any other way other than stunned silence, moving backwards from his spot. “I’m always knocking things over. Happens a lot…obviously,” he lied and gestured at his red glasses. “I’ll reimburse you…”

“Erm…never mind, see you around man.” Jason turned and left, tossing a few bills onto the top of the bar before exiting.

“What an asshole?” You let out a low whistle.

“An asshole that was flirting with you,” Matt stated after he heard the door open and close before he let you lead him back to the table. He trusted you, but still he felt a little jealous. The heart rates of a few of the other patrons. The body temperature of the girl by the door, her cheeks flushed, the creaks of turning necks to watch the man exit, he could guess Jason was attractive but, he wanted your opinion. You…you seemed unbothered but he wanted to hear you say it.

“Is he good looking…”

You let him slide in first then followed him into the booth and cosying into the crook of his arm and slipping a hand onto his thigh. “Ehh,” you shrugged against him “he’s no Matt Murdock.”

Matt smiled at you, cheeks creasing into dimples at your compliment, as you continued “Why I would want anyone else when I already have the most handsome man in the city,” you pecked the corner of his lips and reached up to straighten his collar out. You loved being casually close with him, it was so obvious that Matt hadn’t been used to the casual affection you offered him, and you were all too happy to make up for any lost time.

“Guys, we are still here you know,” Foggy rolled his eyes “You two are sickeningly sweet, I think I might throw up and it’s not from the communal peanut bowl,”

Matt crinkled his nose “Foggy, man, please tell me you don’t eat those,” he tilted his bottle at the bar “I’ve…,” he stopped himself “you’ve been coming here long enough to know that’s a bad idea, half the people here probably don’t wash their hands,”

A quirk of the eyebrow between the friends was all it took to get the message home. He’d been in the mens enough times to suss out that the footsteps, the opening and closing of the door and the flushing did not match the number of times the tap went.

“Urgh, That is so gross,” Karen frowned “I mean I know the health rating isn’t great but, urgh” she shook her head with a shudder as if trying to shrug off the idea before going back to her drink, lifting it off the slightly sticky table. “I’m gonna need another one of these to forget I heard that,”

“Going back gross…,” Foggy held up a hand “Are me and Marci that bad? We’re not that bad,” he looked to Karen for reassurance. “Are we?”

“She calls you Foggy Bear…in public,” Karen pointed out with a smile “so yes, if anything you’re worse,”

“I suppose…Given Matt’s luck with dating, I was half expecting his soulmate to be crazy,” Foggy joked “I’m too young to have Matts girlfriend induced gray hairs,”

“I’ll try not to grey up your hair,” You laughed. “Although I’m sure you’d pull it off,”

Matt crossed his arms “Come on, man,”

“What I’m serious, I’m happy for you buddy, you two have got a good thing going, Should I be buying a hat? Planning a speech? Should we be saving the date?”

Realising he’d probably said too much, he went quiet.

“Oh please,” Matt sighed after a few seconds of silence “Like I’d would let you give a speech, the kind of stuff you’d say would not be appropriate,”

“Cause I have it all planned out…can I at least tell the one about how we wanted to impress those cute girls at college so you pretended you could drive and I had to pretend I was just ‘giving directions?’ and you wrote off my uncles new car…”

You let out a snort “you did not, you pair of idiots,”

“I was nineteen,” Matt protested, shrugging so dramatically, beer sloshed against the glass edge. “We all did stupid stuff at nineteen,”

“Not try to drive a car blind stupid,” You laughed. “And I’m sure Karen will vouch for me that you two definitely still do stupid stuff,” you waggled a finger between them.

“Yeeeeah,” Karen took a sip of her drink then nodded. “You’re right,”

“Oh I see how that is? Girls sticking together right?”

“Yeah,” you quipped “actually call Marci, so we out number you boys,” you leant back onto Matt and he draped an arm around you.

“Only if Karen calls Frank,”

“Oh you’re pulling the Punisher card?” Your eyebrows rose and fell as you took a sip from your bottle “You know what,” you said and pointed your drink at Karen’s phone “I don’t care, call him, I’ll beat him at pool too, you up for a little guys v girls, Nelson?” You teased. “Winner buys the drinks? All night?”

“Ah you are ruthless! But… ,” Foggy pretended to be considering it “Deal,” he stuck out his hand, which you shook with flair “Murdock, you in?”

Matt couldn’t help himself, a grin split across his lips. This, this was exactly what he needed. You fit perfectly into his life, it was like it had always been this way.

“Hey, Matty,” you nudged him “Am I showing you up at pool now or later, you in?”

He nodded “Be right there, sweetheart,”

***a few days later***

“You wanna dance with me Matty,”

You walked around the kitchen counter, to stand in front of him on the sofa. Reaching for him, you took his hand and helped him up, The tables was a mess of his red glasses, empty coffee cups, a book you’d been reading and notes. Lots and lots of notes. You couldn’t understand the notes, obviously, but given the vast amount of them, you knew he’d been deep in research.

A power ballad, some soft uptempo song from a 90s movie, poured from the record player in the corner and you linked his hands with yours and playfully moved to the song.

“You’ve worked enough today, gorgeous,” you kissed him. You had listened to him deliver his opening statement, present a case, and pose points to a hypothetical witness. Matt had a list of counters the prosecution might make and had you suggest them so he could disprove each and every one. You’d been so excited and happy for him when he nailed it that you’d actually given a little clap and kissed him once he was finished.

“You guys are going to win, Matty, I’m so proud of you, Mr. Lopez will be cleared tomorrow,” you swayed, swinging your interlocked hands before stepping in closer, his hand on your hips, yours on his shoulders “you’ve done so good,”

“I hope so,” he sighed. “He’s innocent, I know he is, he’s being set up,”

You reached up and brushed his fluffy dark hair with your fingers. “See, this is just one reason why I love you so much, you have so much faith in people. You’re so good for this city, we need people like you, people who want to stick up for the underdog, who defend the people that society forgets about like Mr Lopez, that protect us all from the shit that-,”

Matt had surged forward and kissed you passionately at that. You’d hardly had a chance to close your eyes before you could feel the heat of his face and the taste of his lips. His hands had moved, one finding its way in your hair, other one reaching under your shirt to stroke circles on your back as he pulled you tight against him.

It was messy and firm and loving all in one…you couldn’t have known how much your reassurance meant in more than one aspect of his life, but like always it was like you knew exactly what he needed to hear, for all sides of himself. Matt, would sometimes wonder if you had a window into his heart with how you gave him exactly what he needed.

“What’s that for?” You teased once you’d parted lips, heat creeping up your neck “Not that I don’t like you kissing me,”

The flashing neon billboard dancing colours through the glass, across the floor and illuminating his handsome features. It had come to be oddly comforting. It was soothing to watch. In this moment, it felt like your own private dance floor.

“Just…you’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” Matt told you with a soft smirk but you could see the gentleness behind it. You moved your hand up to cup his cheek. “Ever.” He emphasised and leant a little forward, you took this as a sign to take another kiss “How did someone like me get someone like you,”

“Matty, you’re the best man I’ve ever known,” you laughed as he spun you under his arm to the music then released and pulled you back to him, your hands against his muscular chest.

“Am I?” Matts reply was half rhetorical half serious.

“Yes, how could you not be,”

“I told you before, sweetheart, chaos tends to follow me, I’m not always a good person, I bring danger to everyone I love,”

“That doesn’t make you a bad person, I don’t think anyone is always good…” you joked then seeing he looked somewhat serious, you ran your hand over his tee shirt and tiptoed to move your arms around to the back of his neck and stroke where his hair met his skin and savoured how he melted into your touch.

“But…” if you’re so dangerous, why do I only feel safe when I’m with you,” your voice was low, quiet, so close to a whisper even though you were alone.

Matt closed his eyes and pressed his forehead down to yours, letting everything about you sink in, he wanted to memorise every part of you, like he still feared he’d face some sick punishment and you’d disappear. He savoured the calm, stillness of your heartbeat. Letting it rest in his ears, before. He’d long since memorised the thrum but this was all he wanted. Home was you.

Almost there and then, he almost told you, but he couldn’t find the words and push them past the lump in his throat for fear he’d ruin this perfect moment.

The record had changed to a slower tempo love song. The kind reserved for first dances and Matt found his mind drift, to a hopeful image of the future.

Matt’s mind had went back to his best friends joke from a few nights prior, a typical Foggy quip that everyone else had no doubt forgotten but that had left a trace lingering in Matts thoughts, that was now being pushed forward by the ballad gently playing

He thought of you in a beautiful flowing dress, dancing. At your wedding…to him, he hoped. He’d thought about how he’d ask you, maybe he’d go classic and book a nice restaurant under the guise of a special occasion, or maybe he’d rope Marci and Karen in for a surprise, how he’d want to have a moment alone with you before the ceremony so he could trace every detail of your dress, what kind of flowers you’d have, his favourites with yours, how you’d tie his neck tie for him- you knew he was capable, you never treated him like he was any different but you liked doing it for him and he liked the gesture, he’d dip kiss you in front of the witnesses, he’d carry you over the threshold and you’d spend the night tangled together the way you did many many previous nights before.

“Penny for your thoughts, gorgeous,” you reached for his cheek and tilted his face down so you could look into his eyes. You didn’t care that he couldn’t see, to you, Matt Murdock had the most beautiful eyes you’d ever looked into.

“What kind of wedding would you want”,.

“I never really thought about it…I didn’t think I had a soulmate…but I suppose I like the idea of something small,” You swayed gently and Matt lifted his arm to twirl you as you considered the question “Eloping or a traditional church wedding or in gardens or something, or a courthouse, I’d want something small,”

“Sounds beautiful. I think id want the same,” Matt agreed as you wound up facing him again, your free hand against his chest “Church wedding, garden reception, in the fall,”

You hummed in agreement “Just me, you and a couple of witnesses, Maybe Foggy could finally wear that hat,”

“Me?” Matt tilted his head. “I’m…I’m the one you’re marrying? I mean obviously you’re it for me but-,”

“Duh. Who else would I want,” you reached up, running your fingers up and down his neck, then resting where you knew your name lingered, over his collarbone, and where Matt knew you stayed, in his heart. “I am yours, you are mine, forever and ever baby,”

“Im going to kiss you now,” he smiled playfully at you, linking your hands together with his and pulling your arms apart before he leant in between them and pressed his lips to yours passionately “and again” he muttered against you, his hands moving, one to your hip, the other to tilt your face up to give him better access to deepen the kiss.

It never failed to amaze how well he knew your lips. He stopped “and again,” he went back for a longer kiss, pulling your hair back with his free hand so your face tilted more, and moving back until he could drop down onto the sofa and pull you down beside him until you landed. Matt half laying down, you lazily on top of himself

“I could kiss you for the rest of my life,” he said smiling into your cheek, before running his thumb over his name on your collarbone as if you reassure himself it was, that you were, still there.

You ran your hand up and under his shirt

“Tonight’s a start,”

***the next day***

Matt had gotten used to listening into you. So much so that it was like he could tune into you within seconds, switch right into you like a radio frequency.

This time, this evening you sounded…different. He’d never heard you like this. You were alone, except for one other person, another man. You were, almost nervous, clearly you wanted this last patron gone. Your heart was beating faster, more rapidly than he’d ever heard it. This wasn’t nerves or anxiety or stress, this was you, scared.

Something about the man’s still, calm breaths was putting Matt on edge. He could hear…something. Something scraping against fabric. The holster against the man’s hip. The metal smell in the air. The man alone with you was armed. The four of you had agreed to meet at Matt’s and you, were already uncharacteristically 10 minutes late

“I have to go,” Matt spoke suddenly “she’s in trouble,”

“What?” Foggy and Karen spoke at once from their spot on his sofa.

“Her breathings erratic, her heart rates spiking and the only other person in the cafe is armed,”

“Woah Matt, slow down…Maybe it’s a cop? Brett drops in on Fridays right?” Foggy tried to calm his friend down by walking over to him and placing a careful hand on his shoulder “I’ll call him, get him to walk her up,”

“It’s…it’s not Brett, this guy isn’t a cop,” Matt pushed his hair back. “Why am I still here, I need to get changed” he tried to calm his breathing “I won’t let anything happen to her,”

On top of the dreams Matt had about you as his wife. He also had the ones about you covered in blood.

The boiling hot copper taste and smell he’d never be able to erase, covering everything about you wholly until all that was left of you was blood. It would drown out the way you spoke, muffle your favourite perfume, suffocate your laugh, burn away the way you’d leant down to kiss him when he’d lie in your lap, engulf how you’d wrap your legs around him when you were in bed together, even if you weren’t being intimate, and it would carve away how you knew the avenues of his mind like the back of your hand and all that would be left would be stains of red that would never ever be washed away.

“I have to…” Matt bit his lip and placed his hands on his hips “I have to…”

“Matt, Look I can go down, if-,” Karen offered.

He held up a hand “No, i can’t let you do that Karen, if you go rushing in, what if you both get hurt, then that’s on me for letting you,”

“And what if you get hurt and that’s how your girlfriend finds out about your hobby? You think I wanna tell her we kept this from you whilst you’re in the ICU?…” Foggy attempted to reason with him.

“It’s one guy with her, I can take him out…just wait here, put a change of clothes on the roof, I’ll get changed up there once I know she’s in the building then slip in via the roof access.”

“You do know how insane this sounds,” Foggy said pointedly. “You. Doing a costume change on the roof, all rather than just tell her. This can’t keep going Matt,”

“I swear I’m just going to go down and get her and I’ll be right back, I promise,”

“If you’re not back Murdock, and she starts asking questions…”

“Yeah I know, I’m counting on it,”

“We closed five minutes ago, Sir,” you called over your shoulder to your last remaining patron. A suited man typing away on a laptop only acknowledged you with a nod and nothing else. You set about pulling down the shutters, closing out the evening outside.

“You’re the owner, aren’t you, you’ve met with my employer, last week,”

You stood up and moved back to behind the counter before studying the man, trying to memorise his non descript face. What was it with gangs and getting the most boring looking lackeys. You assumed it was to make them harder to pick out of a line up. You remembered his employer, had come in asking for favours in exchange for ‘protection,’. Of course you had declined and now you sensed, he was sending in people for a third pitch.

Great.

“Yeah, why, Whats it to you,”

“You turned down an proposal from my employer,” the man closed his laptop and stood up, dusting off his suit and moving, “we offered you protection from the chaos of the Kitchen… little bakery, non-descript,” the man stopped and took a bite out of a chocolate walnut muffin “and…really good muffins…I’ll take some to go, by the way,”

“Put that down. I’ll give you some to go but those are for the Feast shelter,” You didn’t move.

He wiped his mouth with his blazer sleeve. “For a reasonable sum… but you turned it down, my employer, is a gracious one, he came back with a counter, you allow us to host our meetings here, you speak nothing of it, and we don’t hire a gang to trash the place, and cut you up into pieces,”

“I’m aware. The reason I said no is because isn’t that racketeering, it’s illegal,”

“Big word for a pretty girl,” man helped himself to a second bite of the muffin “Lawyer boyfriend teach you that,”

Your heart dropped. How did this guy know about Matt “Leave him out of this,”

“Touched a nerve did I? Comply with what I say or I’ll be paying your boyfriend and his friends a little visit. Maybe I’ll start with blondie…or maybe the couple,”

“He won’t be scared of you, none of them would be... And if you try threaten a law firm the same way you threatened me, you’re as dumb as you are-,”

“Yeah don’t try me, girlie,” the man unholstered his weapon and held it casually in your direction. “Maybe after I’m done with them, I’ll go by Feast, visit your friend there,”

“I have a gun under the counter,” you chanced your arm with a lie. You moved as if you were going for a weapon but instead you flicked on your hot water boiler, low so he wouldn’t hear it slowly filling up the jug you’d positioned under it.

“No you don’t, any weapons sold in the Kitchen, illegal or legal, I know about it, so don’t play smart with me, or I’ll…” the man’s eyes darkened.

The rattling of the back door creaked and you jumped. Fuck. where you that nervous. You cursed for having left it open. Was back up coming? Your gaze flitted to the man who, for a moment, had turned his trained eye from you to the source of the sound.

“Someone else here?” He growled.

“No.” You said, matter of factly as your heart pumped in your ears. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Should have lied. “I thought maybe you’d brought back up, can’t handle a woman all by yourself?”

The boiler had stopped, you took a few steps forward again. The creaking came again. God, you hoped that nosey old woman who ran the newsagents next door had called the cops. The man looked again and took a few steps towards it, walking right by you in the process.

You took your chance. Fumbling, your hands found their way around the steaming jug, filled with scalding water and you flung it in the direction of your assailant before leaping over the counter and making a run for it.

The scream of pain gave you a clue that you’d at least somewhat hit the target, the man lunged at you, “you’ll regret that,” he gripped your shoulder and pulled you back from the door, slamming you hard against the window. “We’ve got you committing assault now, so you should really be reconsidering my offer,” he growled.

“Self defence, CCTV cameras,” you bit your tongue then laughed. You hoped he’d think you were crazy more than scared “god, I’m going to drag this all the way to court, and my Mattys going to have a field day, he’s gonna kick your ass,”

“Oh yeah we’ll just see about that,” the man clicked the safety off his gun and moved it to your jawbone. You squeezed your eyes shut preparing for the rush of death but before you could feel the cold metal, the weight of the man was thrown off you.

There was loud crashing, the sound of something heavy hitting a wall then a sudden, sharp, crack that made your stomach jolt. You didn’t want to open your eyes yet.

“You’re going to leave, and if you come here again, I will know…if you come near her again… I will know,” a man’s voice growled, much deeper than your attacker spoke. “Tell your friends, your employer, I am coming. Now leave or i’ll break your other arm,”

You heard it again. More crashing then…

“You should have gone while you had the chance. I don’t give second warnings,”

Another crack and a scream. More cracks. You waited - one, two, three, four - seconds before relaxing the tension, then five, six, seven, eight- before you opened your eyes.

Your assailant was gone, his weapon emptied on the floor. There was a broken table, a crack in the plaster of the wall, blood marking at about head height and…the Devil of Hells Kitchen, standing in your cafe, black mask obscuring the top half his face.

“Are you okay?” He asked but didn’t move, instead just gesturing to you.

“I think so…Are you?” You replied, a little stunned to see him in person, you knew New York was full of heroes and vigilantes and people who walked the line between the two but you never expected one to help you. “I have a first aid kit if-,”

He shook his head “No, I’m okay, I’ve had worse,” How sweet it was that your first thought was to ask if he was okay.

“Yeah I bet.” You raised your eyebrows “Thank you,”

“I’m sorry about…” he bit his tongue then gestured around “the mess,”

“Don’t worry, you saved my life,” you knotted your fingers through your hair. “What’s a broken table compared to my life,”

“You got somewhere you can go?”

You nodded “My…my boyfriends, I have a key,”

There was a beat, almost like your saviour was considering his words carefully “I’ll make sure you get there safe…If anyone follows you, I’ll be…,” he pointed upward. “just up there,”

“Thank you…” you repeated and squeezed the strap of your bag “And for the record, I never bought the bad stuff people said about you a couple of years ago, never believed it,”

It was killing him, holding back, staying just out of the dim streetlight peeking through the blinds. A part of him wanted to just pull the mask up and come straight out with it.

“I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that,” and he gave you a smile

You were at Matt’s apartment block within a few minutes, as he followed you, directly above to make sure you were getting there safe.

The second he heard the main door slide back in to place, he ducked down behind the ledge and pulled out the sweatpants and casual t-shirt Foggy had left in a bag on the rooftop.

He could hear you rummaging in your bag for the key he’d given you, only seconds after he was done changing, he threw the roof access door open, almost sprinting down the stairs before sliding into position on a chair.

“Smooth,” Foggy replied with a raised eyebrow

“Holy shit, what happened to you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Karen stood up and turned as you entered, dropping your stuff in the hallway.

“Asshole with a briefcase just stuck a .22 in my face, all because I didn’t give them protection money, when they came around last week,” you muttered.

“What?” Matt was on his feet in an instant and over to you, pulling you into his arms and holding you there, “Oh sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me, I could have helped,” his hand stroked against your hair gently. He had to act like he’d didn’t know. “Are you okay?”

He waited until you nodded against him before he lead you over to the chair and sat you down, before perching himself on the edge of table facing you, still holding your hand.

“I’ll make you a hot drink,” Foggy clapped your shoulder and moved over to the kitchen

“I didn’t think it was anything…I thought it was just some douchebag wannabe gangster…I’ll call the police in the morning and file a report,” you drummed your fingers on the armrest.

“Yknow…” you paused “he was there…Daredevil… he erm, stopped that guy taking my head off,”

“Oh! That’s… lucky. What…happened,” Foggy asked and waited for you to look away before staring pointedly at Matt.

“I dunno,” you shrugged “I must have left the back door open. Guys like a ninja or something,” you let out a slight laugh “and i had my eyes shut for most of it,”

“And what happened to the guy with the gun,” Matt feigned ignorance. He knew the guy would be staggering back to whatever hideout he crawled out from, with two broken bones in each arm, a split lip, broken nose and a message from the Devil of Hells Kitchen for anyone else that might come for you.

“No idea,” you shrugged “but yknow I like that there’s he’s out there just looking out for the everyday person,” you shifted “sometimes It’s the only thing these scumbags understand… someone who talks their language but in the right way, this guy threatened me and tried to take the Feast muffins, whatever injuries he’s got, he probably deserved them,”

Matt felt himself freeze at that. Was that really how you saw him?

“I know Hells Kitchen has probably had enough with the vigilantes but If he wasn’t a good guy, he could have left me…” you glanced at Karen “Didn’t…didn’t he help you once,”

She nodded “Uh yeah, a while ago,” she gave you a slight smile.

“Have you always been such a…fan?” Foggy’s lip quirked as his eyes flicked over to Matt, watching his best friends reaction. “Or is this a recent thing,”

To you, it was checking him looking for Matts reaction to some other guy saving you.

“I mean sure, I guess, I mean…big deal he wears a mask, maybe he doesn’t want the attention, can’t say I blame the guy,”

“You should move in,”

The words were out of Matts mouth before he could even process them. He’d never regret asking you…just the logistics were…impractical. Never mind, he’d find a way around it.

“What?” You stopped “Here…” You stared at him, trying to commit everything about this moment to memory. Big dark eyes, full lips smiling at you, hair slightly ruffled. T-shirt hanging loose enough that you could almost see your name, his mark. the colours of the billboard dancing across the wall, the buzz of the city outside and your two best friends, falling silent,.

“No, with Foggy…yeah obviously I mean with me?” Matt laughed and tilted his head to the side.

“I am an awesome roommate,” Foggy added on “Matt can vouch for me on that, I’m a much better roommate than-,”

“I just…I’d feel better if I knew where you were and I know what you’re thinking but-,” Matt rested a closed fist over his mouth, “I want to be able to-,”

“Sure” You said by way of an answer and you leant forward and rested your lips against the other side of his fist, smiling. “Sure I’ll move in,”

*two weeks later*

The tension had been building in you like an elastic band, and now it was pulled tight in your stomach on the verge of snapping.

Memories of your last serious boyfriend running off and leaving you swam to the front of your mind, you couldn’t help but wonder was this the same? But Matt was your soulmate, you lived together, he kissed you in the mornings and came to pick you up and walk home with you from work, the only time you weren’t together was when you were working…

Well that and when he’d sneak out in the dead of night. It wasn’t every night, just often enough that you’d notice that his side of the bed was empty then the next morning he’d be back there, with the addition of a black eye. He’d tell you he must have been getting a drink when you woke up, and that he must have tripped on the way back but you were beginning to get doubtful.

So you made a visit to to his offices.

“Oh hey,” Foggy grinned as you walked through the door, greeting you with an open hand wave. “Matts with a client but…”

You scratched your jaw “Actually…” you hesitated “I’m here for you,” your eyes darted to Matts office and back “He can’t know I was here. Come for a walk with me. Please.”

You walked side by side with Foggy along the streets, after a few moments of catching up, you decided to cut to the chase.

“I think there’s something going on with Matt,” you let the words hover before continuing “Foggy, I know he’s your best friend, you’ve known each other since you were in college, I know you’re looking out for him but please tell me the truth. I’ll ask once and I promise I’ll take whatever you say,”

Foggy averted his eyes to a nearby window display, then he turned to you, resolving himself to answer the question you were about to ask.

“Sure,” Foggy gestured “Ask away, the floor is yours,” he joked.

“Is Matt secretly married?” The thought struck you.

“No, no, god no,” The laugh escaped his throat before he had time to stop it. “Definitely not…”

“Okay,” you nodded, reassured by your friends words and laughter. The laugh was completely honest, like you’d said something ridiculous so genuine that you couldn’t doubt him. “Good…” you nodded, then grimaced “that leads to the other option then,”

Foggy pushed a hand through his hair and opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a murmured ‘oh’. Great. You’d sussed him and here it was, he would have to confirm Matt’s secret or lie to you- neither of which he wanted to do.

“I think he’s in some sort of illegal boxing ring,”

Foggy exhaled, “Like…like fight club?”

“Something like that,” you looked at the ground then back at your friend. “He has all these scars… on his chest and back he told me he got most of them from being in a car crash and from being mugged and roughed up pretty bad years ago, but I dunno… then there’s that weird box he keeps in the closet… he says it’s just his dads stuff but I dunno…then he comes back at strange times with like bruises…,”

“How often does this happen?” The concern that Matt was starting up his sole focus on his…vigilantism again was always a worry. He’d almost lost his best friend countless times, and didn’t fancy adding another to the list. Matt had seemed to, have recently, miraculously, found the balance between his two lives.

“Not all the time but often enough that I’ve noticed, once maybe twice a week since I moved in,”

“Look…” Foggy pulled you into a side street and lowered his voice. He had to think on the spot, find a way to stall you without revealing everything. He stopped. He wanted to tell you-but everything he could allude to would mean more questions.

If he said they had a falling out a few years ago- you’d ask why, if he said Matt was acting like an ass around a big trial, you’d work out what case it was, if he said Matt was getting involved with the wrong people, you’d work out those scars weren’t from accidents.

“Matt loves you, I promise whatever you think is going on…it’s not that, I’ll talk to Matt okay but… just it isn’t what you think,”

“You need to tell her, Matt, she’s freaking out,” Foggy threw his bag and coat onto a cracked chair in the office. “If you don’t I will,”

Matts head shot up from where he was deep into his notes, fingers pausing over the pages. “What.”

“She came by you know…she asked me what was going on by the way. Right now? She thinks you’re secretly married. I’ve just spent the afternoon convincing her you don’t have a secret wife and three kids in Soho and you’re not in an illegal boxing club,”

“I know she did…” Matt frowned “wait she thinks that?”

“Can’t say I blame her,” Foggy shrugged and sat down “Boyfriend sneaking out at night, weird bruises…” he began to list then

Did…she…did you tell her?”

“I told her you weren’t married or in Fight Club but the rest? I figure she should hear it from you,” Foggy folded his arms

“Honestly Matt? You’re now living together, it’s a matter of time until she works it out and trust me, you’d rather it came from you,” Karen said from the kitchen, where she’d been making the coffees “you have to stop lying to her,”

“You two are starting to sound the same,” Matt made an attempt to joke only for it to fall flat. “I’m not…lying to her,” he stressed the word. “I’m trying to not involve her, if she’s not involved, she’s protected,”

“That’s not your call Matt,” Karen pointed out. “That’s her choice,” she walked through and sat opposite Matt, leaving him feeling uncomfortable, like he was somewhat under a microscope with the two of them watching him

“We both know that’s not how it works and that’s the not only reason…” Foggy paused. It was hard, to put his friends fears into words “you’re worried she’ll leave,”

“Can you blame me?” Matt didn’t deny it. “Most people leave…” he faltered over the words “I can’t lose her, I can’t be without her,”

“Matt you’re finally, finally,” Foggy leant forward “in a healthy relationship. She loves you, man, not just some idea of you, or one side of you, like she actually loves you, if I didn’t leave and Karen didn’t leave, she sure as hell won’t,”

“And she’d love all sides of you. If you let her…but she can’t…” Karen stressed her words, gesturing. She reached for his hand and squeezed , “If you don’t let her, So get out of your head…and go talk to her,”

“If you don’t tell her and she asks me one more time…” Foggy said casually with a change of tone “I will accidentally on purpose, tell Marci you’re proposing and she will hard sell this ring as the iceberg that sunk the Titanic…so either get out your credit card or or tell her the truth,”

*that night*

You’d tried to stay away to see if he’d leave that night but the call of sleep had been too alluring to resist, so you’d welcomed it, only to wake about an hour later. Matt gone and his side of the bed neatly folded up.

Sighing, you swung your legs out of the bed and walked to the fridge to get yourself an orange juice. Only something caught your eye. A note.

The writing on the note was a scrawl, barely legible and like it was written by someone out of practice.

‘Come up to the roof. I have something I have to tell you,’

You shook your head and took the note down, folding it in half twice before walking back to your shared room. A part of you considered getting back into bed, maybe you whatever Matt had to tell you was bad and you were better off not knowing. Maybe he was in some boxing betting ring, but curiosity itched at you, so you tidied yourself up, shrugged on a cardigan and headed to the roof access door.

Closing your eyes, you gave an exhale before you braced yourself and headed out.

Footsteps sounded from behind you, only seconds after you’d stepped out and you moved to turn before a familiar voice stopped you.

“Wait…” Matts voice was low, careful and quiet. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for the longest time…but I’ve never found the words so it’s better if I just…show you,”

“Matty, what’s…” your voice trailed off as you turned You realised what he was wearing. All in red expect a mask which sat on the ledge beside him. A disguise you’d seen in the papers, Hells Kitchens own vigilante- on your roof

“Matty, why are you wearing that-,” you let out a cautious smile

“Because it’s me, sweetheart. I’m Daredevil…”

You felt yourself completely wordless. How? Your boyfriend, your boyfriend who’d been the best relationship you’d ever had, your boyfriend who was completely blind…was telling you he dressed up to go beat the shit out of criminals at night.

He attempted to smooth down his hair. It was still somewhat ruffled from where he’d taken off the mask.

“Are you messing with me?” When you realised Matt was not joking, your smile turned to open mouthed shock. “I mean…how…how can you be Daredevil… you’re…wait…,” you paused, you shifted your weight from one foot to the other and ran a hand back through your hair. “Are you even blind,”

After you’d kissed in at your place that night you’d admitted you loved each other, Matt had wanted to do things properly, so he’d said he’d take you out, properly, a real “first date,”. He promised you he wanted to try and do better than kissing you in your apartment, wearing your exes clothes.

So you’d gone to a cosy Chinese place you’d both always meant to try. When you’d arrived, they’d apologetically told you they didn’t have a braille menu. You’d asked him if he wanted to go elsewhere and he’d said it was okay, if you helped him, so you’d read the menu to him, and it had taken some time as you lingered over each option, each one sounding tempting. He’d told you that you should read food ads

When he’d been your plus one to your colleagues engagement party and you’d been taken aback at how decked out the place was, he’d asked you to describe the decor and you’d gone into extensive detail about the flower arrangements and the lights strung up in the ceiling. Matt had told you it sounded like it looked beautiful, but his head was tilted to you, allowing his gaze, no matter how unfocused, to appear as if it was only on you. You’d felt yourself flush and almost asked him to take you home then and there.

Or when he’d ask you about your outfit and he’d told you he already knew you were the prettiest woman in the room? Had that just been a smooth line? Or when you went to Central Park with the same picnic blanket you now sat on and read to him as he rested on your shoulder..

Had that all been some weird method acting?

“I am blind…in that I can’t see with my eyes,” he took a step towards you and let out a small breath you didn’t move away from him. Your heart rate was increased, your breathing was heavy but you weren’t angry… you were stunned, almost like you couldn’t process it like you were trying to make sense and lagging “but…my other senses are heightened so they make up for it... Being able to hear and feel and smell the way I do, it kinda gives me my own way of seeing things…,”

“Heightened senses?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Like heightened senses, how,” you held your arms up.

“Like right now, I can hear the music in the car downstairs, I know the lightbulbs in the sign across the street is about to fizz out, the guy in the building opposite is having bacon, the woman three floors below is breaking up with her boyfriend, I know Foggy lied about breaking Karens mug, I know she knows he’s lying about it, the orange juice in the fridge is out of date so don’t drink it. I can tell you used that expensive hand cream Marci got you at Christmas today, I know you cooked with coconut earlier and you washed your hair twice yesterday, and I can taste you had one of your own pastries earlier, the hazelnut one,”

“You have all that? All the time? Fuck, How do you not have constant migraines,” you picked a strand off your cardigan and pulled it tighter around you as the cold air pinched at your skin. “It must be exhausting, feeling like that…all the time,”

“It was but this old guy, Stick, he helped me, taught me how to tune in, and out of what I need…when to let it in, and how to fight” Matt paused. “Which is why I can do this,” he gestured a gloved hand at his costume.

“You had an old man teach you how to fight and control your super senses? Are you telling me you’re Daredevil or telling me you’re leaving law to write sci-fi,”

Matt laughed “Yeah, I know how it sounds, I get you’re confused but I wouldn’t lie to you, sweetheart,”

“So you can sense pretty much anything going on around you?”

“If I concentrated, yes,” Matts lips quirked “I’ll show you, come here,” he held out his hand and waited for you to take it, hopeful that you’d reach back. Regardless of Matt holding back this part of him, you obliged and let him lead you to the ledge, and wrap his other arm around you. His chest to your back. You felt safe and let yourself relax, your breaths calming and your heart slowing in his embrace.

“Over there,” he gestured with your interlocked hands around a corner “There’s a break in,” his voice was heavy in your ear, and you actually felt yourself flush. If this wasn’t the strangest situation you’d ever been in, you’d have almost found it hot “but it’s an insurance scam, I can tell because the burglar wears the same cologne as the owners brother in law,” Matt lifted your linked hands again, and you could hear he had a slight smile “There,” he pointed up and over “the top floor apartment has been empty for six months, except for the same guy visiting, he’s stashing stolen jewellery…the police are raiding there tonight, they’ve driven around the block six times,”

He paused, “Guy in the alley across the road is dealing and…” he jerked his head off to the side then paused and grimaced “ and the couple that live under us are into niche role play, they’re making a home video right now,”

“Matty, the really tall guy? The guy buys muffins off me every Wednesday, how am I going to look at him,” You stifled a giggle.

“I wouldn’t know, I don’t have that problem,” he grinned at you as he helped you down from the ledge.

“Hilarious, Murdock.” You said in a deadpan voice, although you were at least to Matt’s relief, starting to return to normal, “So is that how tell who is in the room with you?”

“Yeah, Foggy has usually eaten one of your pastries and uses Dove deodorant, Karen uses mango bodywash and usually her coffee has a shot of something sweet, Marci’s shoes click even if they’re not heels and…she’s worn Coco Chanel since college,”

“What about me Matty? I change my perfume a bit,”

“Most of them have the same base, usually patchouli or sandalwood, but…that doesn’t matter, you could change everything about you and…it wouldn’t matter,”

Matt stopped, “I would know you from across Hell’s Kitchen by your heartbeat alone,”

“Fuck. I think that’s the most romantic thing anyones ever said to me,”

“I mean it, it’s always the clearest, it’s like you do it for me, I know you don’t but…,” he moved his head back, nodding at the sounds of the city “even now i can hear you over all that,”

You felt a heat creep up “Sorry, I just…” you immediately felt bad for questioning him especially after he’d just said that, and you leant against the ledge“I..it’s a lot of new information,”

“I know… blind man vigilante with super senses. I know how it sounds, but it’s the truth,”

“I mean given the last few years… nothing is crazy anymore…” you conceded “I mean I thought you were married or in some sort of illegal fight club,”

“Nope…nothing like that, just… looking out for Hell’s Kitchen…,” he took off his gloves and twisted his fingers around the material

“So when that guy was…” you faltered “trying to rob me… it was you who saved me,”

“Yeah,” he scratched along his jaw then paused. The city seemed almost to go still, maybe it had, or maybe it was Matts sole focus on you. “I heard the guys gun in his holster, and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I don’t go out patrolling every night” Matt gestured at his costume “I used to but not anymore, but I’d make an exception… for you,”

“Well thank you again,” You bit your knuckle “guess I wasn’t lying when I said my Matty would kick his ass,” a smile quirked at your lips and you lifted your hand to trace his cheekbone. “But you know, Im still going to need you explain…everything…and I mean everything, no gaps,” you ran your fingers over where the fabric met his skin of his neck “cause right now…all I have is old man and super senses and nothing about this makes sense,”

“It’ll take time,” Matt admitted. “And you might not look at me the same way the end of it but I’ll explain…anything and everything,”

“When I said I loved you, I meant it…the Devil and all, nothing you say will change how I feel about you Matty, You could tell from how he was standing, holding his gloves between his hands and not quite letting you look him in the eye, that he needed the reassurance, you placed a kiss to his stubbled cheek. “come downstairs, baby, before someone sees you,”

It took some time for Matt to explain everything.

For most of it, you sat quiet. Holding his hand as you sat beside him on the soft sofa. You’d ask the odd question but besides that you’d just allowed him to talk. He, you sensed, needed this, to let it all out. For Matt, it was a relief to finally have someone listen, and once he’d started he couldn’t stop.

Once he’d finished, he paused and let out an exhale, “I think that’s it,” he squeezed your hand “thank you for hearing me out,”

After a few seconds, he let your heartbeat, your breathing, the sounds of you, his peace, settle in his ears. You were calm, empathetic.

“You’re not scared of me,” he spoke and his voice cracked. “You’re still here,”

“How could I be scared of you? I love you, Matt Murdock. I love you beyond limits,” you leant in and kissed him softly. “And of course I’m still here, I know…I know what you’d been through must have been hard, I wish I could have been there for you but,” you lifted his chin with your hands to kiss him again. “We’re together now, you and me, forever and ever,”

Matt almost fell in love with you all over again in that moment. How could your first thought be to apologise that you couldn’t have been there when you didn’t even know him then.

Your heart broke for him. You knew Matt had some issues with abandonment, it was evident even if he tried to act like it wasn’t, he’d often want you to just sit with him, lie with him- on him or under him, as long as you were close and he’d completely melt into your touch whenever you played with his hair or slipped your arms around him or rubbed his back, and you’d happily oblige every time, but this? Matt opening up about everything just explained so much.

“I wouldnt be able to stand losing you, I love you so much, Sometimes I think you saved my soul,”

“Oh Matty…,” you pulled him in close and let him just fall into you, his face buried in your neck as you brushed his hair gently with your fingers and used your other hand to rub circles onto his back and just held him until you felt your neck wet.

How well you knew him. Matt felt like you could see through him at times, right to his heart, to his soul. The final part of him that was only for you. He had to wonder if you had some sort of secret sense that meant you knew anything he ever needed.

“You’re the one thing that matters more to me than anything else,” He said against your skin, lips brushing “I would die to do what’s right by the city, I love this city and I always thought, this is my purpose, this is what I have to do, this is why God put me here,” he paused, voice thick and heavy “but I love you more, I know now you’re my purpose,”

You sighed. “Matty, this is…important to you, how you talk about protecting the people…,” you scratched his shoulders gently. “I understand if you don’t want to stop doing this. I’d never ask that of you. I’ll worry about you but when I said the city needs people like you…just now it probably applies in more than one way,”

“Thank you,” He let out a sigh of relief, his breath ghosting over your skin. “You know, I don’t even think I knew how to love or be loved in the right way until you,”

And it was the truth. Matt wished you could feel his heartbeat in the way he felt yours. So you could understand how sincere, honest, raw he was being with you. He’d grown to hear your name in his every heartbeat. Previous girlfriends had come and gone and he’d cared for, or even loved some of them but not like how he loved you, and he suspected deep down he knew it would be the same for them, how could it ever have worked out with anyone else when he felt like this with you.

You paused “and if it means anything, Matty, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how I love you,”

“Is that a yes,”

“Matty,” you laughed as he lifted his head and rested his forehead against yours for a few moments, “Are you concussed. what are you talking about,”

“I’ve never been thinking more clearly in my life,”

Suddenly he stood up and went to the storage box you knew he kept his dads old things in and reached down the side, feeling around until his hand grasped the velvet before turning back to you.

“I’ve been dancing around officially asking you for ages…and now I’m standing here, dressed like this…Maybe I should have rather done it properly, expensive restaurant, nice drinks and-,” Matt cocked his head to the side, he passed the box from one to the other hand, he used his free hand to gesture. He opened the box and turned it to you “My dad…he gave it to my mother before she…left, if you don’t like it, I’ll get you whatever you want,”

You stood up, walked to him, wordlessly. Once you reached him, you ran a hand along his jaw and tilted his down so you could look in his eyes. A gaze you could look into forever. You kissed him deeply

“It doesn’t matter where we are,”

You kissed him once.

“The ring is beautiful.” You rested your hand in his to let him slip it on.

You kissed him again.

“And my answer…” you ran your hands up his chest before meeting his lips with yours “will always be yes,”

***

#matt murdock imagine #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x fem!reader #daredevil fanfiction #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil x female reader #matt murdock fluff

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claraswritings · 2 years

Text

Am I writing a (sort of) sequel to Loving You is Easy

Yes. Yes I am.

Can be a sequel- can be its own thing. ✌🏼

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock imagine

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claraswritings · 2 years

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My screen refreshed as I was starting Loving you is easy. When I tell you my heart broke. I’m so glad I was able to find it again 10/10 amazing writing.

Ahh thank you so much 💞 you have made my day! I’m so pleased you enjoyed it!! 💞💞

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claraswritings · 2 years

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Do you think you’ll write part 2?

Of my Matt Murdock one? I dunno. I’ll probably write for him again but maybe not a second part…and probably not an almost dissertation length one lol 💞💖

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claraswritings · 2 years

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Loving You Is Easy

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Female Reader

Warning: Soulmate AU, post blip, language, passing mentions of the snap, a few mentions of religion/existential themes, soft Matt, oblivious idiots in love, some angst, fluff and some sexual references but nothing explicit.

Notes: First Matt Murdock fic. M&K never dated in this AU, happy ending, I hate writing dialogue and this is unbetas

This is nearly 10k words long and probably, definitely maybe the longest one shot I’ve written.

Everyone was born with a soulmate marker. Usually it was a name, in ink, along the collarbone.

It was a common ice breaker to ask what someone’s soulmate marker said. If people were looking for a long term relationship, it would help in finding out if things would work out or if it was best to part ways. If someone was struggling to find their soulmate, they’d ask their friends if they knew anyone by the name on their collarbone.

After all, your friend had met hers through you, all because you mentioned you went to school with someone matching the name she said was printed on her collarbone. They’d met after you’d told them each others contact info and felt so drawn to each other instantly that it was clear they were made for each other in every way. She asked you to be bridesmaid at their wedding and youd accepted not thinking you’d spend half of the night diverting questions about your own marker. Being asked “when will you meet someone special” was pretty much part of being a single person at a wedding but you hated being asked.

It was an uncomfortable conversation that made your stomach try to turn itself inside out trying to get away from the situation. Eventually you settled for saying you didn’t have a mark. Not having a mark was a one in a million, it was extremely rare and most people without marks either paired off into marriage of conveniences or remained single. It wasn’t technically a lie…but it was easier than the truth.

You’d had something there a long time ago. As a kid you’d thought you’d have all the time in the world to pay attention to it until one day the words were gone. Small raised bumps over where the words once were. You were maybe five or six when it happened. As you got older, you tried asking around to old friends, even contacting those you’d lost touch with, to ask if you’d ever told them what it said but it was no good. You’d never mentioned it or if you had they didn’t remember. It was a desperate last measure but you wanted to at least try before you buckled up and accepted it.

As an adult, you’d avoided questions with a shrug and turning it back on to them, asking them about their marks instead, becoming some sort of weird match maker to friends and colleagues. You’d occasionally date but after one romance when your boyfriend had found this soulmate and took off, you stuck purely to the short term. The idea of a convenience marriage was suggested to you by James, a friend of a friend. James was handsome and charming and without a marker himself. You’d politely declined. Being single truly didn’t bother you, you were used to it. If you ever had any desires, it was relatively easy to find someone to settle those for a brief time. It was better than marrying someone you didn’t love and living a lie.

The most you wanted was an answer as to why your mark disappeared.

It wasn’t until the snap and the blip five years later that you got the answer you thought you wanted. It became common to hear of peoples marks fading away with their snapped soulmate and blipping back with the return of the displaced millions. This was the final straw. The last glimmer of hope you had that maybe the person was still out there somewhere. Your soulmate was probably long gone. If you’d been around five or six when it had happened, your soulmate was likely not much older…or younger. Either way it was awful to think of. Maybe they’d gone before their time and that was why it hadn’t fully faded. A person you’d never know.

Still it had stung getting the closure you never asked for. You wished you’d wrote down the name, maybe you could have looked them up to see what they were like. Maybe you could have even sent something to their next of kin but all you could remember was that you’d had one. Once. A jumble of letters floating in your mind that you could never unscramble now replaced with dots, the only trace it was ever there.

After the blip had occurred, you felt like you needed a change so you quit your office job, packed up your apartment and relocated to start up what you’d always wanted to do, set up a independent cafe. You’d wanted to do it since you were a little girl but you’d been swayed by the safety offered to you by the security company you’d worked at but nothing puts the gears into motion like knowing you could appear or disappear at any time.

You had it all planned- Retro themed cafe with home cooked baked goods, second hand books and music. A place people could slip into easily and anyone could feel at home in.

It had taken you a few months to find the perfect place, you’d looked around for various locations in New York before settling on one on a side street in Hells Kitchen. The choice had raised a few eyebrows amongst your friends, given that you’d been offer a premises near Times Square and another not far from Wall Street. You didn’t fancy the chaos that came with tourists or the snobbery that came with the financial experts who probably earned more in a month than you would in six. The location you’d chosen was perfect for you. It was cosy and slotted right in. Something about it just drew you in.

Within about a month of opening, you had a steady flow of clientele, office workers stopping in for a take away cup, students enjoying the retro feel, the occasional family. It was everything you’d ever needed and finally you felt at home.

***

Matt Murdock could no longer see your name, written on his collarbone but he’d had it memorised for years. He’d never been one for a healthy or stable relationship, romantic or otherwise. He was more used to people floating in and out of his life like it was a revolving door than the concept of a soulmate

If anything he’d come to expect over time. It was more of a surprise if someone actually did stick around, he tried to distance himself from Foggy and Karen on more than one occasion but they’d clung on with their friendship and he’d slowly accept that they were here for the long run, permanent fixtures in his life. Even after the past few years, they’d come back, they had, to his surprised, stayed, but a soulmate on the other hand? That was a big, big ask.

For the longest time, he’d resolved himself to thinking maybe he wouldn’t ever find you and that this longing for you, was some repayment or penance for the constant war he felt between wondering if he was wrong for enjoying what he served up to bad people. When he was alone at night, whether he was pacing the rooftops or dealing out vigilante justice, as the Devil or unable to sleep as Matt Murdock, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d made better choices, would he already have already found you.

Sometimes when he felt himself needed to ground himself, he’d trace the space he knew you were. The ever present presence in his life. After a hard case or after dealing out his own vigilante justice, he’d find your name and spell it again and again with his fingers.

So when six months ago, a new cafe had opened up just around the corner, he’d thought it was just another new place popping up, it wasn’t uncommon for new places to appear and disappear in the city. That was until he arrived at his office.

“The girl gave me a free muffin” his friend and partner Foggy Nelson dropped into a seat beside him. A crinkled, paper bag was placed in front of him “You should try them, they’re really good,”

“What?”

“That new cafe, I went in on my way here and the girl offered me a freebie. She’s nice…”

“Nice nice, buy something from me nice, flirty nice or get out of my cafe already nice” Karen asked, picking up the bag and helping herself to one. “These are really good,” she gave her verdict after a few bites

“Nice nice…. It’s a new place, her names [Name] which… I swear I’ve heard before,”

Matt dropped the muffin he’d just picked up. The name. Your name. He could hardly believe it.

“Matt? You okay?”

“Yeah.” He regained his composure. “Yeah I…I’ll be back,”

He left the office quickly and as soon as you introduced yourself, he felt his own heart race faster.

“My…friend…recommended I come down, hes already had three,”

You laughed in recognition. Clearly Foggy had made an impression.

“Well, I hope you’re as big a fan of my stuff as your friend is,”

“I’m sure I will be” he gave you a winning smile and then his order as he waited at the counter.

Matt wanted to remember everything about you. Your perfume and toothpaste mixed with the hot chocolate you’d had earlier in the day, your voice, the clink of your necklaces, the way you hummed a song as you made his order. You flipping your hair back over your shoulder and muttering to your co worker happily. Foggy was right, you were lovely and he didn’t have to see you to know you were without a doubt the prettiest woman he’d ever met. There’s something about you, maybe tied into the very essence of you that just signalled to him you’re good, maybe too good for someone like him.

His fingers found their way to your name through his shirt, almost subconsciously, lingering there for a moment too long as he considered how lucky he’d gotten that it was you.

Once his drink was made, he heard the counter top open and close, and suddenly you were beside him, offering him your arm. Matt accepted with a small thank you and let you lead him to what you called the best spot in the cafe. Your favourite spot as you called it, and he could tell from the pull of your muscles you were smiling at him.

The cafe had soft leather seats, old books, and record player playing a song he didn’t recognise but liked. There were a few arcade machines beeping against a wall in a familiar melody and he found himself sitting for some time. He had the best intentions of reading over case notes but found it a distraction, just listening to you, sing along to a song or greet people casually.

He stayed there most of the day. The atmosphere was a welcome change. It was easier to work here than in his office. Or so he told you. That was his excuse as you offered him a refill of his drink. He accepted your offer and as you were pouring his drink, he introduced himself.

“You said your name was [Name], right,” he asked although he didn’t need to, “I should introduce myself being that I’ve been here for three hours, I’m Matt Murdock,”

Matt waited to gauge your reaction to his name but there was no change. He’d been planning the introduction pretty much since he’d sat down on the soft chair but with your lack of a reaction to his name, the name that should have been on your collarbone for your whole life, he began to wonder if he’d misheard your name.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Matt Murdock”

Nope. He definitely heard right.

He could tell you were smiling…but you seemed…nonplussed, casual as you finished the free refill and moved off to start clearing the table beside him before switching the records over to a calmer, softer song for the early evening. If you’d known him, by name alone, surely you’d have said…something, anything to signify you were soulmates.

Matt tried to focus in on the notes of the song playing on the record to distract himself, then the lyrics but he couldn’t stop himself from running over things, his mind racing.

Maybe you didn’t find him attractive. He’d had no trouble with girls before, being able to use his heightened senses to gauge when a girl would be interested came in more than helpful but with you? Matt wasn’t exactly sure what reaction he was expecting when he finally met his soulmate… but it wasn’t…nothing. He could hear you now talking to another patron in the same way that you’d just spoken to him. For some reason, the lack of a reaction from you seemed worse than if you’d acknowledged he was your soulmate but said you weren’t interested.

Maybe you could just tell he wasn’t someone to get involved with on more…Maybe this was a sign that he didn’t deserve you…some sick trick put you right here, impossible to keep away from, and not let him have you.

Still like a martyr or a glutton for punishment, he found he came back time and time again after the first day. Sometimes he’d bring Foggy or Karen but most of the time he went alone and he found you over time, you became friends. And every time he’d long for you to say something, give him some sort of hint that his was the name on your collarbone but you never did.

When the longing got too much he’d bury himself in work during the day and seeking out criminals as the Devil at night. Everything and anything as a distraction…and yet he’d still come back for you, unable to keep himself away because even if friendship was what you had to offer, he’d rather have you in his life in some way than not at all.

***

Since you’d became friends with Matt, Foggy and Karen, you found yourselves pretty inseparable, especially from Matt. Whether it was going out for Thai food or meeting them at Josie’s, it was like the trio had become a quartet, you slotting so easily into the group.

Matt would feel his breath hitch every time you leant over for his for some food, or his heart racing when you’d playfully bat his arm when he made a self deprecating joke, or when you squeezed into a small booth beside him, brushing your leg against his, he’d feel an internal battle within and found himself talking himself out of pulling you in by your coat and claiming your lips with his, not caring who could see you. Would you kiss him back?

Not long after you’d joined their group, you’d went out for a few drinks at Josie’s. You’d been to the bar for your round and when slid back into the booth, Matt could feel you were flush, he could tell by your body temperature. A little warmer than usual, the lack of air con likely getting to you and Matt reached over and squeezed your knee and ask if you were okay.

“Just a little hot in here” you pressed your cool drinks bottle to your forehead not caring if it smudged your make up and only a minute later Matt could feel a soft breeze fanned across his face, no doubt you were fanning yourself with your free hand trying to cool down.

You flopped back after a couple of seconds realising your attempt was in vain. “You weren’t lying when you said it was hot in here,” You paused before straightening up again and reaching for your jacket “I might grab Karen, see if she wants to stand outside for a bit, it’s cooler out,”

Matt reached for his cane with his other hand and unfolded it out before pulling his rolled up shirt sleeves back down.

“No need, I’ll go with you,”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to…”

“Are you trying to avoid me,” Matt joked and you saw his eyebrow quirk from behind his red glasses.

“Don’t be silly, I just don’t want to put you out, I have the motorcycle outside, I can always go for a ride to cool off”

Matt hated your motorcycle. You’d bought it a few weeks back and whilst Foggy and Karen had both accepted several lifts from you, Matt was a lot more reluctant, only accepting when it was dry and quiet and even then it had been a push. The bonus of being able to hold in close to you was often overridden in his mind by the worry about other people on the road. He couldn’t focus on you if all he could hear was the engine and other traffic and the air rushing by him and a thousand crackling street lights.

“Probably not ideal in this weather. Trust me, I’ve almost been hit by enough cars to know,” he hoped it would be enough to put you off

You paused for several seconds a little stunned at his nonchalance. Before you could push him to elabore, he changed the topic as stood up, put on his jacket and waited for you to slot in beside him at his side. The temperature had dropped enough that the cold air hit you and made a difference the second you stepped outside.

“Did you…, yknow” Matt asked as you walked to the end of the street together. He snapped his fingers.

It was a topic of conversation that had become almost as common as soulmate markers in months since everyone blipped back. and being that Matt feared you’d ask him about his soulmate mark and he’d have to tell you it was your name, and put you in the awkward position of having to gently reject him. He didn’t know you’d never ask him for fear he’d ask you in return so he opted for asking the other common question.

You sighed and gave him your response. “No, I survived…if you can call it that,”. From your words, he knew it was a joke, but your tone was dry.

“Yeah me too,” he said quietly.

It was hell for you, seeing the world crumble around you. At the time back when your baking was a side hobby, you’d been baking for the local homeless shelter and been talking to the staff there when it had happened…but for Matt? You imagined it must have been even worse.

“Sometimes I wonder which half got it easier, I know it sounds insane but that first year?” you trailed off “I suppose the others would say the same,”

The idea of an apocalyptic event happening at any time hung over everyone in the city, and it was hard to verbalise the fear that it could happen again. The Avengers had defeated Thanos and his counterparts but the fear still lingered. A scar on the city, on the planet, universe even, that could never be healed. No one knew what was worse; mourning your dead friends only to have them re-appear when you’d finally come to terms with their disappearance or having lost five years without so much as blinking.

“I thought it was the end of the world” Matt replied honestly.

Despite Matt being all too aware of people being able to come and go, he never expected it on the scale of billions. In seconds, nearly everyone he knew was…gone. The only people he cared for, the people that he’d finally let in, half of the criminals he’d been watching and stopping, half of his clients…all gone. The racing hearts, the panic and mania of the city had caused him to shut down almost completely. He’d spent many many nights wondering why. Why was he left here alive whilst the ones that snapped were gone in seconds. Before he knew what had happened he’d thought maybe being left here without his friends, without anyone was some punishment from God. Finding out what had really gone on had done little to soothe him. He was still left to walk alone with only his thoughts for company. In that time he was barely Daredevil, he was barely lawyer Matt Murdock. He just a man and he was barely surviving.

And again in those nights, his hands ran over your name, at least you were still there. He knew you would always be there. One day he’d thank you.

The silence was short. In the way you squeezed his arm for a second, it communicated enough about your shared survivors guilt.

The two of you fell into an simple, lighter conversation.. It was so…easy to just open up. You talked about your stories from when you were kids, he’d told you about before he lost his sight, his dad used to take him to the park to look at the sky and how he wished he could do that again, you told him funny stories from your college days and he’d counter with embarrassing stories about drinking with Foggy. You then moved on to talking about your day, you’d tell him about how you had a new mixer brought in and he’d tell you how he’d found some new evidence for a case he was working on. It was a back and forth that he could imagine having with you for the rest of his life.

Once he’d walked you back to the entrance, he’d told you, he had to leave early. Work was his excuse. He left out that it wasn’t the work you knew of, and that he’d actually heard a gang of Russians on the roof across the street. The clicking of guns, muffled talking and zipping of bags was an all too familiar sound of a robbery being prepared for.

He didn’t want to leave you but you were with Foggy and Karen and he had his duty to Hells Kitchen to attend to.

“Thank you for walking with me, Matty” you squeezed his arm softly before letting go.

“It’s my pleasure, sweetheart,”

You stood on tiptoes and placed a small kiss to his cheek and turned on your heel to rejoin Karen and Foggy inside.

He didn’t leave until he heard the door swing open, the warm humid air gush out from the door and until he knew you were safe with friends. He didn’t touch the spot your lips had brushed until he was safely down an alley, his fingers only lingering on the spot for a few moments before he took off to disguise himself and apprehend the gang on the roof.

***time skip***

The longing got worse and worse for him the longer you were friends. He soon began stopping by daily just to spend time with you, sometimes you’d go to his and you’d listen to him practice presenting a case, and others you’d go to yours if you’d found a new podcast you wanted to share with him. In possibly the nicest thing someone had done for him in a long time, you’d started getting in some of the records he liked and adding them to the rotation in the cafe. It had been such a sweet, touching gesture that you shrugged off as “gotta make my friends feel at home”

“Matty! Just the man I needed!” You greeted him as he walked into your cafe the next day:

You sounded happy. He couldn’t help himself but smile at you. Most of his smiles were because of you, your happiness was infectious, whether it was laughing at one of Foggys awful jokes, getting excited over some day out with Karen or trying to stifle a giggle when he picked the most inappropriate time for a blind joke.

“Here,” you tapped the counter and Matt knew to take a seat in front of it. “I need you to try these new pastries for me, I’ve got this big order next week and I need to know if they taste like they’re supposed to,”

“You’re asking the blind man to blind taste test?” He couldn’t resist. It was an easy joke to make.

As always you let out an unabashed laugh.

“I mean if you don’t want to, I can go get Foggy, he’ll happily taste my samples,” you teased and threw your tea towel from your shoulder to the counter casually and untied your apron.

It was clear you were messing with him and as made a move to walk by his chair, he shot out and arm stopped you, pulling you back into place.

“Wouldn’t want to bother him though, I’m sure he’s very busy,” his shoulders shrugged as he muttered a vague excuse.

“Mmmm” you hummed “someone has to be,”

He grinned at you “Well, I’m all yours,”

“Here’s the first pastry” you pushed the plate towards him, telling him where the fork was, and then leaning back and waiting for his verdict.

“Orange,” he spoke “chocolate…and…” Matt focused in on it. There was something else in the cake you’d presented to him. “I think there might be praline” He could taste it pretty much within a few seconds.

“No way.” You clapped your hand over your mouth “you can taste it? Is it good? Or is it too heavy?“

“Its perfect” Matt smiled at you and it was. He preferred your pastries to the muffins Foggy liked and this was one of your best so far.

“And this. Forks on the left of the plate,”

You slid another across carefully and studied him carefully as he used the fork to spear a section of the pastry, tasting it and considering the different tastes. It carried on like this for a few different pastries, your reaction to his approval, as lovely as the taste.

“Yes!! You really think they’re good?” You exclaimed after he’d correctly guessed the vanilla had blueberries in it. “Just I have this big order in a few weeks and it’s so important that everything goes well,” you wrung your hands a little nervous and Matt leant across the counter, feeling for your hand which you gladly gave him.

“I think they’re amazing, they’ll love it, they’ll love you”

You beamed, “thank you!” Matt could sense it. The blood rushing to your cheeks, the twitch of muscles, the way you bounced a little on your heels.

He wished he could see your face, really see it. Just the once. Not to see how you looked, it didn’t matter, you were beautiful to him no matter what…your soul made you the most beautiful person regardless of what you looked like, he would have just liked to see how happy you looked. He sighed and gave you a smile as you tapped his hand one last time and finished packing pastries to take back up to “your other favourite lawyer”

And as you handed him the bagged extras, he felt your hands brush and felt it for the first time. The skip of your heart, the blood rushing as your heart pumped faster and the muscles pulling at your smile…then… it was like you were trying to stop it. Matt had tried not to listen to you too much, but it was hard not to. It was painful hearing you react to him then have to listen to you suppress it.

“I’ll see you later, Matty. We still on for tonight?” Your question brought him back to the room.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,”

***time skip***

You’d fixed the old arcade machine. Matt could hear the familiar theme tune as soon as he walked in, despite it being down against the back wall of the cafe.

“You played these as a kid?” Your voice appeared beside him. Hed been standing by the machine for a few minutes, one hand running over the joystick, then the two side buttons and the other gripping his white cane.

“Yeah…had the hi-score for a while…back when I was a kid…I don’t think I’d be as good now,” he raised an eyebrow with a slight smile, a small dimple appearing on his cheek and you laughed

“I…I have an idea, it might be stupid but…please, let me try”

Matts curiosity got the better of him and he nodded “Sure”

He felt you nudge in gently and he stepped back and a second later, you’d slipped in beside him, his chest to your back and his breath hitched at being so close to you.

Matt could hear your heart rate pick up, but if you were nervous, your voice didn’t sound it. If anything you sounded softer than usual

“We can do it together, I’ll lead… just follow my instructions,” you put your hand over the top of his and clasped both of them around the stick. “Relax your hand a little,” and moved the joystick up and down, left then right, then circled it. “Like this.”

You lead him like that in another motion “And here,” you nudged one of his fingers up on to the trigger button on the front of the control gently. “Is the button for firing,”

Your heart was still racing and Matt could hear that you were once again trying to regulate it by breathing in and out routinely but you didn’t move your hand from his, instead, leading a trail over his thumb with yours up and down.

Matt tilted his head and chewed his lip and toyed with the idea of just telling you right then and there. Opening up and telling you he was in love with you.

Carefully, you pressed down on the fire button with him and then brought your free hand up to rest on the plastic of the control panel, feeling the warmth of the machine and the beat.

“You can tell by the music when to press, usually it’s a rhythm to it, every sixth note,”

Matt could feel you the vibrations through you as you moved his hand to rest, palm flat on the console, taking in the feel and sound, trying to switch focus from your heart to the electric beeps. Your hand remained on top of his, almost interlocked.

“1, 2, 3….4,56,” “1, 2, 3….4,56,” “1, 2, 3….4,56,”

You hummed the tune with an emphasis on the one you meant and it reverberated through you, and he could feel it in his chest which was pressed against you.

“I’ll give you a signal too” you slowly lifted his hand “I’ll do the moving, you do the firing.” You moved it back to the joystick and squeezed gently “like this,”

Even though Matt knew it would likely be disastrous, the thought that you’d even try for him was adorable. Plus he wasn’t going to turn down spending time with you. He never did.

Matt leant in closer to you, under the guise of getting nearer to the speaker. It wasn’t needed but he liked being this close to you, so close you were pressed together. In his head, he could almost almost pretend you were his.

And in that second, you realised just how close he was and tried to shake the thoughts you now had whirling around your brain. You wanted him. God, you wanted him bad. In every way. Beautiful, kind, smart, gorgeous, good, Matty…but you had to compose yourself, there was no way it could ever happen. He probably has a soulmate. You can’t be with him. You scolded yourself. So you allowed yourself a few breaths with closed eyes before starting the game.

To Matt, your heart was harder for you to conceal and right now, your heart was in overdrive.Would it be so bad if he turned you around, held you into him and trailed kisses over you until he could place your lips. Would you kiss him back or would it just ruin things?

“Ready Matty?” Your voice snapped him back to the room and out of his mind.

“Yeah, sweetheart, on your lead”

It took countless turns for the pair of you to get past level one. Partially because it was ridiculously hard for Matt to concentrate on the music when you were in front of him, saying things that, out of context sent his mind straight to the gutter and partially because he was many many years out of practice and blind and being lead by you, who for all your enthusiasm, were awful at the game.

“Come on,” you sighed, annoyed as the melancholic sounds of the game over menu told him that you’d been taken out on level two yet again. “Really thought we had it this time.”

You turned to him and Matt gave you a wide, toothy smile, and you couldn’t help but smile back. It was impossible not with those dimples.

“I still think we make a good team,” he laughed and you reached for his hand and held it palm up then high fived him with your own “Foggy’s got competition” he joked.

You’d felt familiar to Matt from the moment he’d met you. You’d felt like reassurance and loyalty. The connection and love he’d always wanted and never quite found. All the small gestures that other people took for granted but that he’d never been awarded the privilege of experiencing.

“Of course we are,” you paused “you want me to order take out?”

“Read my mind,” he nodded.

Matt couldn’t stop himself imagining a life with you. How it would be to wake up with you lying on his chest, to have your soap linger on him, to trail toothpaste kisses over his shoulders, to be with you in every way he desired and touch every inch of you, to have you trace your own name on his collarbone and for him to feel his own on you, to come home from work to find you singing slightly off key in his kitchen, wearing his shirts mixing your perfume with his cologne and making whatever incredible food you liked. To have your stuff in his room. His kitchen, his room would eventually become yours, ours and he’d think about how you’d take his hand and link your fingers with his in the street, how he could dance with you and how he could proudly say you were his, you’d do the same with him, how he could take you out for late night walks to the Thai place he liked then come home and just enjoy the nights with you, resting in your embrace, maybe you’d read to him or play an audio book and fall asleep together to a podcast or that sweet quartet music you played or one of his records.

***

A few evenings later, he’d came by to see you. There’d been a break in three stores down the night before. and he’d wanted to make sure you were okay.

You’d instantly taken note of the large bruise on his cheek, a souvenir from a fight with the gang members the night prior.

Matt could hear you swear under your breath, felt your panic swell and your shuffling around behind the counter before the swinging of the counter had opened, the “Sorry we’re Closed” door sign falling against the glass, replacing the “Open” one, the metal scraping on metal as you locked the door and only a few seconds later he’d felt the cool compress flush against his skin, your fingertips holding it in place.

“Let me guess?” You said “You’ve joined the Avengers” the joke you told was more to calm your own battered nerves than anything.

“Not exactly” Matt half heartedly joked before sensing your concern in the way your bones stiffened and the blood drained from your face. He quickly switched to a story about opening a door too quickly, and instantly felt guilty for lying to you but he couldn’t tell you, not yet. If he thought knowing would get you caught up in his mess, not ever, he’d never forgive himself. Matt couldn’t bear the thought of them coming for you. It was impossible to sleep knowing you might be there if they tried. So he put a stop to it before they could.

One of them had however gotten a crack at him with a set of brass knuckles before he subdued them.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “You’re at work, you shouldn’t have to close for me”

“Fuck work,” You sighed “You don’t have to apologise for being hurt Matty,” you shifted “I’m closing early to meet Karen anyways” he could hear the clinking of your rings as you adjusted the fabric on his skin. “All I care about is that you’re okay…please promise me you’ll be more careful”

He muttered out another apology and bit his lip in a wince as you shifted the cloth again.

“And stop apologising, I’m not going anywhere, you’re not taking up my time, I’m here, okay,” you squeezed his arm with your free hand.

“You have really beautiful eyes, by the way. I’ve never seen you without your glasses. I mean you look great with them too but…” you trailed off.

Matt had almost in that moment lost all train of thought. He’d forgotten to slip them back on before he left the office. He hadn’t been deliberately avoiding this moment, more that it was a irrational concern to him that somehow you’d look right in his eyes and be able to tell he was stupidly, ridiculously unquestionably in love with you, so he’d kept the glasses on, as if it was an aid to keep his composure. It took a few minutes.

“They’re so warm and…,” you continued. “you should go without more often.”

“Thank you,” his voice was quiet “I’m glad you think so”. A smile crept on to his face.

You were so sweet, so caring, always knowing the right thing to say, always putting other people first. Even the way, you were holding the ice pack so cautiously not wanting the pressure to hurt him and it sent him spiralling. You trailed your free hand up his arm, over his neck, mere centimetres from where your name sat, to the other side of his face and let a finger gently brush over the crinkles by his eyes before drifting down over his cheekbone and lastly tracing the scruff on jaw.

Before you could withdraw back, Matt found himself leaning in, hoping you’d stay where you were so he could get an idea of where your lips were. He bumped your nose a little as he leant in, and before he could apologise, he took in the sounds of you shifting, you were leaning in closer and he trailed an hand down your arm and rested it around your wrist.

Unnoticed by you, Matt rested his fingers against your pulse point. There it was, your heart beating out of time. It wasn’t the first time he’d noticed it. He could always hear it but now, he could now feel it under his skin, under yours and could hear you attempting to control it by slowing your breathing. He had to wonder if you were trying to force yourself not to react to him.

Matt could tell where your lips were now and he found the words “I thought you were never gunna kiss me” forming and he was about to open his mouth to speak them and then kiss you, when the sound of someone attempting to open the door startled you into jumping back.

“Shit I’m sorry, that’ll be Karen, we’re meant to be going to a movie” you tucked your hair behind your ear.

As you got up to go answer it, Matt couldn’t help but think over your interactions. Why did your heartbeat change when he was closer to you, why did you share these…almost intimate, personal moments, why were you so good to him even when he felt like he didn’t deserve it. You were so perfectly made for him that you knew exactly what he needed without even trying… you always knew the right thing to say or do, why were you like this if you didn’t want him.

In that moment, deep in his thoughts, he resolved himself to be more careful with coming in after a strenuous night. Not because he didn’t trust you with his secret but because he couldn’t imagine ever putting you in danger. If you knew, might come for you and he didn’t know if he could hold back if you were hurt. He nodded goodbye to you, to Karen and set off.

***

“Next time can I pick the movie” you asked as you left the screening of the latest movie “These romantic ones are so unrealistic”

“Yeah that’s kinda the point” Karen raised an eyebrow “it’s a movie”

You elbowed her “I mean come on, a guy chasing you through New York to confess his love under a conveniently placed landmark. I mean when have you ever seen the Empire State Building that empty, cause I haven’t, also I’ve never had a boyfriend so much as bring me a bouquet of flowers”

Karen laughed “Yeah I mean, I will admit they don’t all make them like Ryan Reynolds” she paused “but it does happen,”

“Not to me!” You joked but there was a part of you that kinda wanted that big romantic moment. You’d never cared much for those romantic comedies. When it came to the big confession of love, you’d take a sudden interest in anything but the screen. After all, you had no soulmate so how could those meet cute movie moments ever happen to you.

“Why don’t you ask out Matt” Karen took one last gulp of her drink through the straw before throwing it at the bin and missing “He’d definitely say yes,”

She had been looking for a way to bring up the idea of you and Matt together for some time and a romantic comedy showing seemed like too good of an opportunity to bring up romance. You’d hung out plenty of times one on one so it wasn’t unusual for Karen to suggest you went to see a movie. Foggy had no interest in the romantic comedy showing and Matt, clearly, would have been bored within ten minutes so it was easy enough to rope you into it.

“Shut up” You laughed, half at her comment and half at her action. “You are kidding, right,”

“Why not?” Your friend rolled her eyes “Trust me, I’ve known him long enough to know, he’s one of my best friends, I know when he likes a girl,”

“Matts…Matts great but…he wouldn’t be interested in me,” the thought made an uncomfortable knot in your stomach and you wished you could change the topic.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t attracted to him. It would be hard not to be, he was gorgeous, but you’d trained yourself to push any romantic feelings down barely giving yourself the chance to entertain them.

It was hard but you’d gotten good at it. Years of practice, training yourself to be a blank slate. The only time you’d ever admit you liked him was to yourself, alone. As soon as you had to go out, you took every ounce of willpower you had and suppressed it as much as you could. You could not, would not let yourself fall for anyone…

Healthy? Probably not. Necessary? In the world you were living in? Probably.

With Matt you’d been having this inner battle with yourself for months now, not long after you’d met him…you’d found yourself glancing at him often or wondering if his lips were as soft as they looked or thinking about his arms wrapping around you in bed whenever he cast off his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves or thinking about being able to lie next to him on the sofa and run your fingers through his soft hair whenever he ran a hand through it.

“He would! you know, he’s got all the things you like- he’s cute, interesting job, he makes you laugh… and he’s sweet to you,” the taller woman elbowed you playfully.

“Come on, that’s just Matt,” you sighed “He cares about his friends, I don’t think it’s a me thing,”

“Oh please” Karen scoffed “What about when he called someone out to fix the oven that you forgot was broken and it saved you having to cancel that big order or when he had your lunch delivered and got your groceries in, or whenever he waits late for you to finish or when he brought you an umbrella because he said he thought it might rain later and then it did or when got breakfast from that small place you like without you even telling him,”

“Karen! What are you doing keeping track?”

“What it’s true! It’s a love language. Acts of service?“ She looked so serious even though her tone was teasing. “You don’t see him bringing Foggy an umbrella.”

You were grateful for a chance to laugh, cover up the pounding in your chest. “Probably because it’s funny to see him moan about it”

“Matt had got it bad for you, he talks about you all the time…”

“He- what? Matt does not like me like that,” You ignored the ringing in your ears and crossed your arms over your chest “it doesn’t matter anyway, My soulmate mark disappeared years ago, I don’t have a soulmate so what? I date Matt and then his actual soulmate comes along?”

Memories of your last serious boyfriend swam to the front of your mind and you shook for head quick as if trying to knock the thoughts out of your brain. You’d liked him. A lot. Much like Matt, he was handsome, intelligent and your friends liked him. Around a year into dating, he’d moved to a new job miles away and had, on his first day, met the girl whose name resided over his collar bone and broke things off. He knew she was the one.

Of course you understood, you were an anomaly. Internally you scolded yourself for daring to think maybe he’d never met her. Idiot. Everyone with a mark meets their soulmate eventually. Every since then, you’d stuck to casual dates, short term flings and taken it no further. The second you started to feel anything more you’d break things off.

Matt, on the other hand, you didn’t think you could just have a fling with him and go back to being friends when he met the right person. You’d never felt more comfortable with anyone in your life than you did with Matt. It was like he got you. When you were with him, everything just fell into place…it was the easiest thing in the world to just be with him.

Karen furrowed her brow. You’d told her before about your lack of a mark.

“I think you might be his soulmate you know, his name might not be on you, but I think yours might be on him,” She seemed to be more sincere than her previous playful jokes, she squeezed your shoulder. “Trust me,”

You couldn’t help but almost choke on your drink, suddenly swallowing the fizz the wrong way “That’s…that’s not a thing…is it?”

“Could be,” she shrugged her shoulders “Maybe if it is you get a choice . Ask him if you can see his soulmate mark,”

You laughed “Yeah right like how would I even do that, I just say, hey Matt…take your shirt off,”

“You could always offer to help him,” Karen winked “you two always look cosy…I saw you earlier after he’d…” she paused not knowing what Matt had told you was the reasons behind his injury. “…injured himself. I thought you two were having a moment, you looked seconds away from undressing each other,”

“That would be a health and safety violation,” you composed yourself trying to diffuse the tension you felt in your bones by making light of the situation. “And pretty uncomfortable on those chairs,”

“It can’t hurt to just try..,.go out with him and see how you feel,” Karen tried. She’d been trying to get Matt to tell you how he felt for weeks, months even but he didn’t seem be budging. It seemed he’d convinced himself you weren’t interested.

He’d never shown her his mark but it was so so painfully obvious to everyone that he was into you, so wanting to help her best friend in the most covert way possible, she’d suggested a girls night out, hoping she could see if you’d make the first move.

“…I don’t think I could,” you pushed a hand back through your hair, trying to distract yourself from the thought that was sending your mind off to places. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it. When you’d been between his arms against the console counter, you’d thought briefly about loosening off his tie, pulling him into closer and running your hands up under his shirt, or over his neck, daring him to kiss you. “What if I did and then his soulmate shows up or he has some other name on him,”

“Since when has that ever been a problem for you,” Karen had heard a few stories about your romantic dalliances, you hadn’t had any since you met Matt but you’d previously told her. “You’ve had flings before,”

“Since I actually like this one,” you snarked back then realised what you said “shit,”

Karen grinned ear to ear “Knew it,”.

“Fuck, Karen, what do I do?” You sighed and began to chew on your thumbnail. “Do i tell him? Does he know?”

Karen paused giving careful thought to your question “I don’t know…but I think…you should talk to him,”

You nodded and pulled her into a hug. “You’re the best,”

“I know,” she joked “I expect to be bridesmaid,”

***

“She’s your soulmate?!“ Foggy checked he’d heard Matt correctly., confused at the almost despondent look on his friends face “You don’t look someone who has found out their soulmate is a gorgeous, funny girl who bakes them food and-…” he trailed off “…wait why… why do you look like that?”

“Like what?” Matt questioned his friend. “I don’t know what I look like,”

Foggy rolled his eyes. He was used to Matts jokes but this did not seem like the time for one. It seemed like his friend was avoiding this.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?”

“That still freaks me out…you know what I mean… you’ve got that face, that I’m Matt Murdock and I refuse to accept any-,”

“I am not refusing anything” Matt placed his hands on his hips. “Just…what if she’s expecting someone else?”

“Like who else? If she’s your soulmate, you’re hers,” Foggy attempted to reason with him “c’mon Matt, Just go talk to her…, when have you ever had a problem talking to a pretty girl,”

Matt opened his mouth to reply then closed it, deciding not to go down that route “This is different.”

“She likes you, man and “You’re happier with her in your life and she’s better for you than-,”

Matt cut his friend off before he could “How do you know?” drummed his fingers against his thighs

“Well with some of your exes they’ve alw-“

“No, Foggy, not that. How do you know she likes me”

“How do you not?” Foggy raised an eyebrow “Cant you use your sixth sense, bat like hearing to tell or something?” Matt could hear the confusion in his friends voice.

Matt ran a hand through his hair before dropping it back to his lap again, realising what he was about to say would likely sound insane.

“That’s the thing, she gets the increased heart rate,” He leant back in his chair “All the usual signs are there but…she knows my name, if I’m her soulmate…she’d have said something by now…she’d…” Matt trailed off “what if she doesn’t want me as her soulmate,”

Foggy paused giving careful thought to Matts words. Usually Matt had no problem flirting with pretty girls so having to provide insight on this side was something he was not used to. “Maybe she wants you to make the first move?”

“Or maybe she doesn’t want to get involved with someone like me, Matt pinched his brow “maybe she can tell ,”

“Does she know? About you being Daredevil? About anything?”

He shook his head “Nope… at least I hope not,”. The idea of you finding out and not understanding or worse, thinking he’d lied had kept him up more than once.

“Do you love her”

Matt couldn’t deny it, even if he wanted to. He took a deep breath, took off his glasses and rubbed his temples.

“Yes,”.

The odd sense of relief that washed over him as soon as he said it was like the clouds had cleared and he’d realised what he had to do. Surprisingly. Matt had half expected it to feel like he was confessing coveting something he shouldn’t…but instead it was more like acceptance… like he was finally able to open up.

“Talk to her…you might end up getting exactly what you want,” Foggy put a hand on Matts shoulder. “You gotta tell her,” He checked his watch. “Movies finished. Her and Karen will be home by now,” He gently nudged his friend towards the door.

“Go give her the Murdock charm,”

***

“Shit Matty, are you not freezing”

You were surprised when the doorbell rang only minutes after you’d cast off your own coat and even more surprised to see Matt Murdock, rain soaked, standing at the entry to your place. You pulled him into your hallway and lead him over to your sofa.

“Wait here,”

There it was again. Your heart rate picking up. He could hear you shuffling around before you came back with a towel for his hair and some dry clothes.

“They’re my exes but I’m sure they’ll fit,” you placed the shirt and tracksuit pants in his and turned to let him change. It was soft and light against his skin and he couldn’t help but love you more for the thought you’d put into something so easy as choosing a spare shirt.

Once you felt that he would be done, you turned and lead him to sit back down before you slowly leant in “If it’s okay…I’ll dry your hair off”. Matt nodded and you brought the towel through his hair scrunching gently to dry off the worst of the rain and you reached up and brushed some of his hair back.

“I’ll let you finish getting changed,” you handed him a hoodie to go over the t shirt and stood up and went to walk over to another room to give him space

“What does your soulmate mark say,” he asked, surprised at how quickly he was able to get the words out.

“I don’t have one… I…,” you shifted and looked uncomfortable.

“You’re…you’re on mine,” Matt stood up and gingerly walked towards you, he looked like he was struggling to verbalise what he wanted to say “I don’t care…well I mean I care, but you’re mine and I think…I’m at…least allowed…this one permanent good thing in my life,”

For the briefest moment, Matt half expected you to disappear as some sort of punishment for saying he felt like he was allowed to have something good in his life but you didn’t. You stayed like you always did.

“What.” You froze in place.

He pulled the t-shirt to one side showing you. There it was. Printed along his collarbone. Your name.

“I know because I’ve had you memorised since I was young,” Matt continued. “I know I might not be yours…I had to tell you, It’s been killing me,”

“Oh” was all you could manage. “Matty. I don’t have one I…I…mine disappeared, I think my soulmates dead”

“Maybe you get a choice then,” he smiled at you, and you felt your heart skip, he was his hair was still pushed back and a little damp, his unfocused eyes, beautiful as always and wearing an old shirt. He’d never looked sexier to you than he did right now. “And if you do, I’d like it to be me, if you’ll have me,”

You didn’t what came over you but you reached for his hand and guided him up and stopped just ghosting above your collarbone. Almost like you wanted to show him you didn’t have a name there.

“Here?”

“Yes.”

He ran his fingers along where your mark once was and could barely believe what he was reading. A wave of emotions seemed to wash through his mind, confusion, curiosity and relief.

He was reading his name Matthew Murdock. In Braille.

“You have a mark,” he said, unable to keep the smile off his face as he traced his own name on you. He finished and went back to the start, reading it again. “Your soulmates not dead. Your marks in Braille, your soulmates blind”

“Oh fuck”

There was a moments silence. Matt guessed you were stunned from how you were reacting so he reached for your hand and brought it up to your own collarbone.

“Here, close your eyes, it’ll help you focus”. There was no way to know if you’d obliged his request but he trusted that you did. Matt slowly guided your finger over each letter, carefully spelling out his own name to you.

“It’s my name,”

He could tell you were concentrating from how you were attempting to focus your breathing and how you relaxed when he explained each letter, he could sense it sink it when you felt the repeat letters. His name forming in your head and translating.

You were still silent.

“You’re gonna need to use your words, sweetheart” he ran his hand over them one last time.

By way of response, you leant up and smashed your lips against his, tangling your hand in his hair as his found your waist. It was passionate but sweet and a release of everything you’d both been holding back on.

“Sorry,” you gave a short laugh when you broke apart. “I’m such an idiot, I always thought I didn’t have one, I didn’t even think…I’d never heard…I thought maybe my soulmate had died in some horrible accident”

“Nope. I didn’t die, just…” he gestured at his soft brown eyes, “lost my sight,” Matt paused. “You really never knew?”

The jangle of your earrings indicated a no before you said it.

“No…All this time…I’ve been holding back, because I thought I didn’t have a soulmate and I didn’t want to fall in love with someone meant for someone else”

Matt knew you were speaking the truth, your tone was sincere. He could hear your still breaths under the crackle of the street lights outside and over the hum of the static of next doors television. Your still breaths that now sounded like a lullaby and like home and like love all in one.

For six months, he’d been waiting for this very moment and yet he found himself unable to verbalise exactly how…happy this made him. He’d swore to find the right words to tell you just how lucky he felt that you, wonderful you, were his soulmate.

“I thought you knew. I thought maybe you were…” Matt paused “Disappointed”

“Wait…Matty, Why would I be disappointed“ your question was genuine confusion. You were so sincere in asking, actually dumbfounded as to why he was even putting your possible disappointment as a suggestion.

“I wouldn’t be everyone’s first choice,” Matt left off. He didn’t feel much like elaborating but it seemed like you, as always, knew what he meant without him having to explicitly explain.

“Then they’re dumb,” you reached for his free hand and linked yours with his. “You’d be my first choice out of everyone in the whole world. You are my first choice,”

Before you could stop yourself, you stood on tiptoes and brought your lips to his collar bone and kissed gently, tangling your free hand in his thick dark hair and savouring the murmur he gave you as you moved up and along the day old stubble on the underside of his jaw before reaching his lips and kissing him, moving your hand down from scratching his hairline to cup his face.

Fuck, you could look at him forever.

“Really? Because chaos tends to follow me everywhere sweetheart, I don’t want to hurt you, this one amazing thing in my life,” he pressed his forehead to yours, eyes still closed. He wanted to savour this perfect moment in case you changed your mind.

“I don’t care” you kissed him again, punctuating each word with another kiss. “You couldn’t hurt me even if you tried, whatever you’ve got, I won’t push you…we have all the time in the world for you to tell me…but whatever it is we can face it together,”

“I’m not…I’m not always a good person,”

“I don’t think many people are, Matty, we both have good and bad traits, it doesn’t make you an awful person…it makes you human, which is all you can be. I love you anyway”

“Really?” Matt couldn’t quite believe how someone as lovely as you wanted someone like him.

“Of course, I love you,”

“I love you too”

“My Matty,” you smiled against his lips before pressing yourself to him an a long overdue kiss once more.

#matt murdock #matt murdock imagine #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock fanfic

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