As I exhale upon yellowed pages,
Silent and still, the sunrise bleeds between my blinds
And finally, after decades flown,
The first bud of life unfurled
Blooming from old, somber lines
Tucked ’tween folds of old poetic rhymes,
Murmured utterances from wily Hope
And through all that despair do shine—
A few bright filaments of burning gold
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Darkened melody
Caressing the lilac patch
You have vanquished me
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The world suffers
romance-riddled poetry
written by idled,
love-struck hands
Of which
I cannot fathom
Or understand
Is it not tiresome?
What of the warmth
Held in the arms
Of friends?
The ’till-death-do-us-part
Brotherhoods of men?
Ten million wonders
You could exhale
Into ink upon paper—
And you choose
Banal romance?
By god, it’s a sin
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I checked my tea,
To see if anything
Had died in there
A drowned gnat or two
Is just extra protein—
A small reprieve
To gloomy boredom
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I stopped writing poetry
And my soul grew sick
With wearying bones
I became danceless,
A shell of a thing
The hollowed-already
Becoming hollower
Waning will,
What do you require of me?
I’m alive, just alive
Like the grass beneath
Stampeding hooves
Poetry wasn’t magic—
Just a realization,
Plainly stated,
Just my tragedies inked
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Catch me spilling stars
Across floorboards
Like glitter specks,
They dash around
Impossible to kill
You have to wait
For them to dry up
And become black holes
Fuck them anyways,
Useless ornaments
Writers love them too much
They’re wishes,
They’re tears,
They’re hopes,
They’re nothing to me—
I swear it upon my soul
I speak of them
With exasperation
Stars sicken me
Them and their likenesses
Are etched too deep
—They ruin my dreams,
And stop my sleep
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Endless escapades and
earnest midnight dreams
Haunt the world after dark,
beneath a sad moon’s gleam
A breath taken,
But not a second passes by
—You could bike to the stars
The once taut rope
Loosened and stretched far
There are spirits that come
To fill souls and liquor cups
Gold and flashing dresses
Solid to the touch
What wonders exist
In the corners of night
Oil lamps, candlelight,
Dewed eyes sparkling bright
They all conjure such rise,
These late hours
Swathed in shadow—
Amidst fantastical lies
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Measure my dreams in grains of sand
A thousand nothing more than
The worth of a single pebble—
In the belly of a ravenous koi
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The night is illuminated
By the blue light
Of my computer screen
Blazing into my brain
Wrenching out my fears
Grown hot in the dark
My hair is still damp,
The shampoo smell
Sinking into warm fabrics
Joining the evidence
Of other late nights—
Quiet nights—
By weakly typed poetry
My fingers feel old
Tired and worn
—And by four o’clock,
They await certain doom
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[]
Why must I always
feel like I am dying
The rusted cogs
Ceasing to breathe—
My conviction
Grinding to a halt?
Madness eats
My crime is life
A reflection
Mirrored
In bloody sheen
It’s all too sterile,
All too white gray
The marked path
Traveled by droves
of certain men
Without value
I continue on
Diminished by
My still-beating heart
For on the rooftop
There is a weed
Damned be its growth
In direct path
Of an unforgiving sun
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I can’t sleep—
Last time I allowed
Whales to dance
Through my brain
But I cannot sleep
My thoughts are running
Like moving water
Where fish dance—
Sparkling river
Leading them
Downstream
Reel all my thoughts
Impale them on sticks
Roasting over flame
Let tomorrow
Burn them all away
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Warmth emanates from
the singular chimney
Housed within the heart
Of a drafty mansion
It’s where the deer go
To lie upon rickety floorboard
As sparrows acquaint themselves
With the abandoned rocking chair
Preening their worries away
Serenity melded with serendipity
The course of the universe
Ivy stretching over bricks
Decomposition of matter
And the soul
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How I would love to lay in a flower field
The waving grasses cradling my form
As cold spring air gushes over the hill
Kissed by a lenient sun
- - -
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An Internal Dispute From Sleep Deprivation
Blatant words befalling blue lips
Smeared the color of sadness
Tri-coated depression
What is art to sadness but apples to applesauce
thefortymillionsomethingpoems
Some statement minus punctuation and declarations of woeful broken love
Gorge upon the sales of music to public ears
I gave my blood, the likes which you’ve never seen and apparently do not want
Pages of fine ink multitudesofwordsmeaninglesswords
The alternative framework lost—
Eaten in the mainstream, some cherry picker we have to thank for this
Poets ought to rip the world to shreds with a pen
Splash ink onto pavement, blacken the world into a deep void
Gross schemes, where the fuck is reality?
I accidentally threw it down the garbage disposal
But the corporations forced my hand
The meaningless throb the echoes of time ticking sand
Mind wrenching melting numbness pain
Contradictory hell
What more is left to do? What more is to be achieved?
Light a metal garbage can,
Set all the books on fire
And all the art as well.
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Ichor of old gods
Pitter-patters solemnly
Gaia drinks her fill
—
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.|
Deafened ears
Silent eyes
Rippled waters—
Reflecting murky skies
What remained
Laid in sullened tune
—With calla lilies
In godless demise
My organs wrung
Then clotheslined—
Like some
common rag
Discarded lungs—
Airbags for the worms
And my
once sharp tongue
Sits ’tween teeth
Delicately dead
This damp cavern
Punctured by
A singular watery tree
The branches splay
Beams of light
Where I lay—
Skin haloed
in mossy wreaths
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Flowers before dusk
Curling from darkness,
How you shrink
So timidly inward
You fill yourself
With seas of fears
Though occupying
Minimal space
I would
Kiss your petals
If you
Loved me
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